#i adore idea of ace!geralt

[crownofstardustandbone]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Hello love, thank you so much for sending this!!

First up is a story I wrote not too long ago "Mercy Mercy Please (The Monster in Me)" which is a Theo x Liam Teen Wolf fic that is an enemies to hate fuckers to lovers story with 20k words of dirty, nasty, kinky dub-con hate fucking lol I love this one so much because I haven't written this dynamic before and these two are just PERFECT for it.

Next up is "Prussian Blue" which is a Clark x Bruce superbat story in which Bruce gets irradiated to lethal levels and Clark frantically tries to find a way to stop him from dying, while also being forced to confront the depths of his feelings for Bruce. I love this one because it's angsty (big surprise LOL), but also because of the relationships I built between Clark and Alfred, and Clark and Bruce--I think they're well characterized and engaging. Plus I did a SHIT TON of research into the acute effects of radiation sickness and the treatments for it, which is where the title comes from--Prussian Blue is a pretty standard treatment for radiation poisoning!

My next one I'll talk about is hands down my favorite thing I've written in the last few years because it's so unbearably tender. "Ribs Cracked Open, A Home Made Within" is a Geralt x Jaskier story that came about because I had this idea that with his extra mutagens, Geralt would probably be hypersensitive to the point of pain, and wondered what that would look like within canon. I also really wanted Geralt to be handled with care and affection and tenderness because we never really see that in canon, and when someone is so hurt by the world and so self loathing, I desperately crave stories where they get to be treated tenderly.

Next is "Handful of Aces, Pocketful of Nines" which is a Holden x Bill Mindhunter story that came about after a rewatch while I was high and had my brain go galaxy mode and see them as a ship 😂This story follows canon and is filled to the brim with yearning, internalized homophobia, and so much angst it'll break your heart! I love this one because it's got so many tropes that I adore, and I think is a very compelling story of two people who don't know how to love each other, but also don't know how not to love each other.

Finally, is "Unbroken" which I consider to be my Steve x Tony magnum opus lol This story is my baby--I spent two years writing it, during which time I was in grad school, working full time, doing an internship and trying to get homework done. It's angsty and full of pining, hurt/comfort, whump, and all the other tasty tropes that I adore. It's a complicated story about a complicated relationship--Steve is found in the ice during Tony's childhood and comes to live with the Starks where he serves as a friend and protector for Tony. Tony loves him, and when life intervenes, they're married to protect Tony from being given to Obie--but that doesn't mean things get any easier. I do honestly think that this is the best thing for stony that I ever have and ever will write, and I hope more folks give it a shot despite that underage tag lol

[witchofmorena]

Some soft Gereskier for @consultingskeletondetective. I hope this cheers you up, darling!💚and @jaskiersvalley I hope you like it :)

A white-haired man sat in a corner of tavern, drinking ale and watching the local bard perform a song he knew all too well. It was a song that was composed in his presence. He thought this bard had bad voice, not at all suited for songs his bard composed.

“Your ale, Master Witcher“, the barmaid said quietly, as to not startle the man. The thought of being startled by a barmaid whose heart-beat he could hear made witcher smile with amusement.”The dinner will be brought shortly”

Witcher nodded his thanks. He heard a familiar voice outside, complaining about the voice and lute-stringing abilities of local bard. Man turned his attention to the entrance, he couldn’t wait to see his dearest friend. The door opened and there stood a young-looking man colourfully dressed with a lute-case slung over his shoulder. The newcomer was handsome, had blue eyes and, as soon as he spotted the witcher, a smile so wide it quite possibly hurt his cheeks.

“Geralt! Oh I have much to tell you my dear!“ the man said cheerfully as he approached the loner in corner. “Lovely lady, would be so kind to bring me some ale and food?“ cheerful man asked the blushing barmaid who nodded shyly “Excellent! I can’t wait for it, lovely!“ the girl ran off, presumably to kitchens to order more food.

“Jaskier,“ white-haired witcher, Geralt, greeted his bard “it is great to see you. You can tell me all about it later, after we eat and drink?“ the local musician started singing again, Geralt didn’t notice him stop but he did notice the difference in musician’s singing...the change wasn’t for better and he wasn’t sure it could become better in any way, “Maybe you could sing for a bit? This is just torture...“ The girl was still blushing, but had food for both man

“More ale, Master Witcher?“ Geralt planned to stop - he drank enough, but Jaskier had other plans asking young lady to bring some more.”Of course, Master Jaskier...my father wants to know if you’d honour us with a couple songs later this evening?“she lowered her voice so only the two in corner could hear her,”the local bard is terrible, and he’s been butchering your songs all day“ Geralt raised his eyebrows, surprised she noticed just how bad the music is.

“Of course, my fair lady, if you wish me to sing then I shall sing!“ Jaskier, dramatic as ever, exclaimed, kissing girls hand and making her blush even more.

“Thank you, Master Jaskier“, her voice broke a little, she was obviously unused to people treating her is such way and being sweet to her. Geralt  thought it sad that nobody wants to gift her with some gentle attention, a little compliment or a flower. He resolved to leave a flower of any kind for her in the room to find.

Geralt had a small smile, it was almost unnoticeable. He was entertained by Jaskier’s interaction with lovely shy barmaid. They tucked in. Jaskier, with extreme amount of energy he always has managed to eat and talk at the same time, telling Geralt of landscapes and courts, men and women he saw and met, about the new song he wants to sing to his dear wolf. Geralt ate quietly and listened attentively to all bard wished to share with him. As soon as Jask was full he passed the extra food to witcher “you need to eat more! you lost weight again, your cheek-bones are too prominent!” and went to sing, keeping an eye on White Wolf to make sure he’s eating. Geralt ate slower, taking his time to enjoy pork, ale and, finally, good music.

Several hours later, in the candle-lit room Geralt told his bard of his most recent hunts. Wolf kept trying to pull Jaskier into his lap, nightingale (as Geralt oft called his darling bard) found that incredibly adorable - his big, scary-looking wolf loved to cuddle more then anything else in the world. Bard allowed it knowing his darling wont calm down and stop it otherwise, but also since he missed his wolf just as much and was happy to see he was still wanted. “Geralt?“ bard’s voice was soft, gentle and curious,”do you want to....y’know?“

Witcher shook his head - joining with someone, even with his pretty nightingale, was the farthest thing he waned in that moment, the bard understood - his wolf rarely wished for more then a gentle touch. He merely wished to cuddle and touch gently. Jaskier took initiative and changed their position, he was the one leaning against headboard and Geralt was on his chest. Bard wrapped his arms around wolf, burying his nose into the silvery-white soft hair. Geralt on the other hand simply lied there with one arm around bard and the other stroking nightingale’s cheek fondly, enjoying the hand gently stroking his cheek and moving lovingly onto his back. Jaskier took care to be as gentle as possible with his lovely wolf and sang his new song. He was still working on it, and it was changing as he sang to wolf witcher. He was overjoyed when he felt said wolf fall asleep - the man truly needed to sleep more.

They stayed in the town for a few days, using mornings to see if they can find new scars on each other (Jaskier found many, while Geralt found only 3), afternoons to get things they might need when they hit the road, and evenings were spent much like the first one, but with more kissing and touching gently. Geralt enjoyed the evenings the most as they were his - he got to kiss, lick and touch gently his love. Jaskier, on the other hand, favoured mornings - he’d wake up wolf with his loving touch and gentle song, as he cradled through witcher’s hair, stroking tenderly his cheek, neck, arms and back, ensuring Geralt felt warm and loved, but never pressured or forced into anything....

[thewitchersaidgayrights]

I want to ask, what do you think to the idea of Jaskier being trans?

okay so listen 

as a trans man i am constantly imagining my favorite characters as trans, so to say i’ve thought about this before would be an understatement BUT before i go on though, i really recommend you check out this post by buttercuppedwitchers on the topic cause it is cute as hell and it also includes other blogs who love this idea 

(gif by im-weak-my-love-and-i-am-wanting)

in my opinion, trans Jaskier is such a galaxy brain idea because not only does he already carry the most BDE i’ve ever seen, but hes also relatively famous in his time!! so while, yes, i totally adore the headcanons that the only people who would know about him being trans would be Geralt and/or Yen, i also really like the idea of everyone kind of knowing and just not giving a single fuck whatsover

Jaskier comes sauntering into some dusty ass village? the local Ladies and Gays are still 100% TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES trying to rush to whatever inn he and Geralt are staying at!!

angry husbands want to run him through with a sword? sure, but only for stealing their spouses hearts!!

stories of his exploits and talent spread across the land but do any of those tales focus on his transformation? no way!! being kidnapped by elves is way more interesting!!

and while a lot of people have mentioned Yens transformation not leaving any outwards marks, the idea of Jaskier having top surgery scars (because lets face it, while Jaskier may have a ton of money, Aretuza is a high-end magic school and not every surgery sorcerer or whatever is going to be as powerful and talented as Tsoka) would give us Soft™️ geraskier moments such as Geralt covering them in gentle kisses and!! AND!! making a pleased humming noise every time he sees Jaskier confidently wearing a super low buttoned shirt!! (which is all the fucking time because hes fabulously slutty)

all im saying is, if we’re going to have fantasy worlds like The Witcher (or even Game of Thrones) why are we forcing them to share the same prejudices as real life?? why are people cool with dragons and tree women and made up countries, but the second someone wants to create gay pairings or trans characters, we have to still have homophobia?? it’s a fictional universe! we can do whatever we want! let us have lesbian witches and trans bards and bi monster slayers!! give us ace elves and gay soldiers!! pan queens and demi kings!!

anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk, no i absolutely do NOT take any fucking criticism 

[chaos-monkeyy]

State of Chaos

Hi folks! Been awhile since I did this (and I meant to do it yesterday, whoops.. *pretends it’s still Wednesday* 😅). 

So as usual, I’ve wound up working on a lot of random stuff instead of getting all the languishing WIPs done 😂 But I have wrapped up a few things! Also, it’s almost November and I have something I’ve picked to try doing for NaNoWriMo… It’s already making me nervous because 1,667 words a day is rather a lot AND my idea has way more plot than I usually write (still porn too though, fear not). Anyway, I have no idea how well it’s gonna go but I can at least give it a shot! So if it actually goes well, I’m unlikely to be posting as much fic for the next little while. 

Oh! There are a couple new fandoms in the mix now too. Namely, the Thrawn Ascendancy novel as well as Stargate Atlantis, thanks to an exceptionally fun rewatch with Leif and DD 😁 I’m just horribly fixated lately on John Sheppard and his should-be-illegal pants… and now Ronon is there too, I may not survive 🤤 Backstory, I adore stargate SG1 and Atlantis, grew up watching it, but this is the first time I’m watching any of it since learning about fandom sooo… I’m having fun lol

(p.s. In case anyone was wondering, my little dumbass cat successfully learned how to use her fancy feeder. It’s adorable watching her nose it open, and Unauthorized Greedy Pet is extremely put out any time he tries to go steal her food now 😆)

Assassin’s Creed 

Diletto 

Shelved for now— not abandoned, just haven’t been feeling the het smut lately.

The skills of Assassins 

I’ve gotten a bit stuck on chapter 4 of the Ezio/Mario fic for some reason, but I did make some progress on it! So that fic update is still coming, just… slowly. 

Other 

I started some Shaun/Desmond AC3 cavern sex but got stuck and haven’t finished it 🙈 Also vague outlines written out for potential sequels to both Not Here (Desmond wetting himself in the Animus) and Demands and Desires (AC3 HaythCon filth). And I have been poking at the Witcher crossover fic too! 

Posted 

Demands and Desires - HaythCon smut; contains incest and ManipulativeAsshole!Haytham. Explicit.

Ache - Drabble smut about Ezio jerkin’ it; 100 words for my 100th fic 🎉. Explicit.

Midsomer Murders 

MM x Wallace and Gromit crossover

I’ve been thinking about this one recently, I’m gonna try and get access to s14 and 15 of Midsomer and maybe start working at it again! It’s the most long-running WIP I have… Actual Story is HARD 😭🥺

Star Wars

The self-indulgent Chiss-human orgy fic 

It’s very close to being done! I’m hoping to get it finished up with Jewell before too much longer 😊😏 

[Title redacted] 

Still working on this filth fest with Rev. It’ll be done some day, we just have too much we want to put into it where is the brain-to-fic machine already dammit 😭

Other

Someday I intend to get that part 3 of the Pinned (Thranto) and the Stripped (Thrawn/Thrass) series written. I also have a plan for another Thrakif fic, too damn many plans to continue the Inappropriate Places pissfic series, and a delicious kinky little Thranto prompt still in my askbox here that I am definitely going to fill sooner or later 😏

Posted 

A Moment in Private - Thrakif smut; Cadet Thrawn getting off while fantasizing about General Ba’kif. Explicit.

A rare thing - Thrawn/Ziara fluff and cuddles ficlet. Teen and up. 

Breathless - Thrakif breathplay; prompt fill with lots of desk sex and light Dom/sub. Explicit. 

(Come) Ride With Me - Thrawn/Eli/Thrass smut. I finally finished the chisscest-y Biker AU!! Explicit. 

Discoveries - Part 1 of Eli peeing in inappropriate places and Thrawn getting turned on by it (well, so does Eli). Explicit. 

Zombie / what’s in your head - A rare angst-tacular Thranto fic. MCD and heavy subject matter. Mature. 

Stargate Atlantis

Nothing specific in progress; it’ll be whatever I get inspired to write as I keep watching through the show! My personal rule for these is that I can write whatever grabs my interest so long as I don’t take too long working on it 🙈 

Posted 

Of rituals and birthday presents - Sheppard / Keras implied-smut. Light-hearted stuff featuring aural voyeurism and a very flustered Rodney McKay. Teen and up. 

The smart thing - dark!Sheppard / Kolya, includes fear-wetting and noncon facefucking. Mind the tags. Explicit. 

The Witcher 

I don’t have much Witcher fic on the burner at the moment. Kinda waiting for s2 at this point, really, and someday I’ll play TW3 and probably get some more inspiration from there! I have been picking at the Witcher x AC Gerezkier (Geralt/Ezio/Jaskier) crossover with Levs, though! I’m slowly getting more comfortable with the smut-to-story balance as we work out where it’s going 😁. Other than that, I have a few things still kicking around my ideas list that I might pick up at some point when brain decides it wants to randomly start something new instead of working on WIPs. 

Posted 

Flagrant Indecency - I did manage to get the final chapter of this finished and posted for the Finish Your Fic deadline! 🥳💦. Explicit. 

Don’t Stop - Geraskier somnomo prompt fill. Juiced-up Geralt, somnophilia, and watersports; some consent issues. Explicit. 

[aurimeanswind]

I’m More of a Winter—Sunday Chats—1/28/18

Oddly enough, I find myself more “happy” or more at home and comfortable through the winter. It’s my favorite season, yet this one seems to not provide the same boons to excitement as the previous have. There is far less joy to be found, and that kind of sucks.

But we move on with the show.

Talking About The Week I Had

I’ve come to both hate and somewhat enjoy talking about having terrible weeks and rough times. I always, in my heart, feel I am begging for attention. And there must be some honesty in that, right? But I also feel this sense of responsibility and obligation to my internet presence that I need to keep sending those thoughts and feelings out there, and that maybe I’ll feel better when I do. And I usually do. There is always a warm and loving outcry of support when I do, and it always warms my heart, without fail.

But I dunno. It’s hard. I have really bad days and I put myself in a dark place, and while I love the honesty, I don’t want to share that because it’s both personal and it looks like I am begging for good vibes to be sent. Obviously this is all counteracted by me openly expressing my frustrations here (or so my brain hopes) but it’s a difficult side to every coin. The one that’s aware of the more selfish-seeming repercussions of crying out for help, and that just so wishes to be like, not bad on your own. 

I think with my depression and fits of morbid thoughts and feelings of wanting to hurt myself, that’s always the fall back. I just want to be good without having to ask for help. The idea of, “well why can’t I just be alright on my own? Why does this have to be a thing where I have to have me picked up off the ground by my wonderful companions who’d graciously do so, but I can’t just “be” on my own?” When i say I express frustration in sharing my feelings of being depressed, I think it helps to empathize from that angle:

I’m not frustrated because I don’t want to ask for help, I’m frustrated because I was never given the opportunity to not need it.

Does that make sense?

God I hope so. In short I had a bad spell of self-hatred style depression this week, and this is me just airing it out those feelings. If it doesn’t make sense, ah don’t worry about it, but if you saw me struggling this week, that’s your bit of context.

What’s On Tap

Predominantly I’ve been playing one thing this week, and that’s been going back through The Witcher 3. That’s a great goddamn video game.

The Witcher 3

There is just something about Yennefer that... goddamn. She is just like a magnet for me. I definitely feel to her what Geralt does. It’s an attraction that goes beyond appearance. She isn’t like, the best person? either? But I just adore her. She fits the mold of a partner in so many respects, and peeling back the layers of her character are excellent.

I got to Skellige and boy that is just the best part of that game hands down.

The snow, the wintery peaks, the people of Skellige, it’s just so much better than anything you see in Velen or Novigrad I think. Not to say either of those chapters are bad, they’re excellent, but I think it just shows that Skellige is that much more interesting of an area. I think that, to some extent, derives from the fact that Velen and Novigrad are neighboring areas, and so their culture is very similar. It gets me even more excited to see Touissant, the place added in Blood and Wine, because that is also a totally separate part of that world.

Celeste

I’ve managed to put a few hours into Celeste now, where when we recorded the podcast I had only put about a half hour into it.

I worry that maybe my expectations for this game were set too high, especially with folks continually telling me how impactful it’s emotional aspects are. I’m trying to keep my expectations in check, but I will say so far the game has done some pretty interesting things.

On the gameplay level, it has the tightness of something like Towerfall, applied to very Super Meat Boy reminiscent platforming levels that are short, consumable, and challenging. It kind of reminds me that I’m not really in the mood for something that is just outwardly so challenging right now though. Like, it makes you frustrated and you’re supposed to derive enjoyment from the victory, but the levels are very long and frustrating at times, and I’m not getting the same satisfaction I got from something like Cuphead. 

That, mixed with the really interesting story bits makes me kind of just want to get to the next story beat above everything else. The constant dying and repeating of the same challenges impedes that.

Maybe most of my frustration is that each “chapter” bases itself around a different mechanic, and a lot of those have been more just annoying than anything else. One was these platforms that you can move by pressing against them while holding them, which worked, but another was ground or wall that you can’t retread once you’ve touched it once or you die, and that was just zero fun.

There is a very interesting scene where you have to calm yourself from a panic attack, and it’s very evocative, so maybe there is something too Celeste, but right now I’m more mixed than I’d like to be. Overall it definitely plays well, I’m just unsure of if I am buying everything there.

Questions

Like always, look for my tweets on Sundays with the hashtag #SundayChats in it, respond with your question, and be in the chats! Let’s do this!

I like that Ubisoft essentially did this by putting Mario in XCOM last year.

But like, what if Princess Peach was a leader in Civilization 6?

How good would that be?!

Have Mushroom Kingdom units?! Build Peach’s Castle as a World Wonder?! Having to import mushrooms from other city states to appease our great lord and savior Princess Peach?! PEACH getting NUKED by GHANDI?!

Anyway.

I feel like I can’t think of any mind bending ones, or ones that haven’t been done before, save for the Princess Peach one. Like, I’d love to see an strategy game with the Tales characters, and that already exists. I’d love to see a third person action game with Final Fantasy characters, and that kind of exists, and that’s also kind of happening with the FF7 Remake. I’d love to see Vincent from Catherine as a character in a Persona game with all adults, but that feels like a cop out. 

Link playing Baseball? in MLB the show? 

I’ll think on it and if I come up with anything good I’ll tweet it at you.

I don’t know that series sounds like its for weebs.

Nah I’m kidding, I’m glad everyone seems to be having fun with Monster Hunter World. I definitely have a bit of FOMO, but after that beta I really doubt I’d have fun with it.

Nabeshin would go Insect Glaive. Scott would get the biggest and weightiest sword. Tony you’d get whatever you’d get. You said you were trying the Bow on the latest show, so maybe that? And I’d be the cat and I’d be chilling on an inflatable tube.

Hands for feet. Duh.

I’d get like, those toe-shoes, which would basically be gloves, and then go on my merry, tree-swinging way. Like, I’d finally have my dream of being able to have four hands. Ugh. Feet for hand sounds awful because you’d still have “arms” so its not like you’d be able to four-footed run. 

Garbage.

I have no clue what this is.

*Does a quick google*

So Like, I am only loosely familiar with Big Brother, and I hate reality TV (I know Jazz, I’m sorry) but this seems like, totally boring! No big names at all. The entertainment weekly article I read showing the contestants for this upcoming one were recognized by their recent “Dancing with the Stars” placements, and that’s just fucking depressing.

But yeah, I like the idea of celebrities that don’t know they hate each other slowly learning that they do, in fact, hate each other all for your viewing pleasure, sure, if you’re into that sort of thing. But at least throw like, Liam Neeson in there to choke somebody or something.

Oh man there is so much I’d love to see Rocksteady do. They’ve definitely become a favorite developer of mine, even if i have a tenuous love-hate relationship with Batman Arkham Knight. 

I mean they are almost definitely working on something Batman. I feel like we don’t end this year without knowing exactly what they are making, or without it releasing. I think Justice League/Batman Beyond would be cool, but I just worry that they aren’t going that route.

I want them to break away from Batman. I think they’ve earned enough clout to do their own thing, and that’d be the thing I’m most excited about, but it may ultimately just be another Arkham game.

I’d probably kill myself right away tbh.

I know that’s a little morbid haha, but I’m definitely not making it. I have really bad asthma, so assuming we are getting “infected” “running” zombies I am boned. I’ve also never fired a gun before, nor do I really have any interest in doing so. I’m also a pacifist and hate the idea of hurting other living things, dead or not. I’d also not want to be a hindrance to me loved ones who are stronger than me and can live on. And boy it’d be a fucking bummer to just watch humans kill humans over food and water and guns and stuff. I just don’t want to been that world (which is kind of our world, I know, yes).

And knowing my luck I’d be patient zero, so there’s also that.

First, I want to say:

fuck Captain Jack Sparrow.

That being said.

I want Sly Cooper’s ancestor who was also a Pirate, Henriette Cooper.

Hell, I’d probably just want Sly Cooper too.

And maybe Captain Kidd, but like, cool Lady Captain Kidd from AC Black Flag.

And Nato Johnston, who is real.

Jurge Cruz is into some deep web shit with his crypto-mining operation.

It’s messed up.

And very impressive.

That’s a really good question. I want to say yes, because I think that’d be cool, but I don’t know of any Arc System Works game that’s made it big there. There probably (definitely) is one? But I just don’t know it. Maybe Guilty Gear. 

I’d say no because I think the way the controls work in FighterZ is just too simplified. I don’t know what the skill threshold for that game is, but who knows, maybe it’s possible. God wouldn’t that be rad?

This is a tough question. I saw this and I think, at least partially, thats what my opening thoughts bit was about. I don’t really think there is, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing, right?

Like that doesn’t make you any less of a friend, and this goes for everyone to anyone they know with mental illness. If you’re there, supportive, and send the good vibes and are understanding of their issues, you're doing it right. I think it’s people that just lack empathy or say “why aren’t you just happy?” that are the ones super fucking up.

I’d say just empathize with the fact that sometimes all you can do is send support, and that’s totally enough. So don’t sweat it.

Christ.

Joel’s Ears from The Last of Us because apparently that mother fucker can just hear through walls. 

And maybe.... uhhh... The lady from The Sexy Brutale who can hear codes being typed in on keypads from the room over? That’s lit.

Goddamn my arms would just be horrifying tendrils though. Imagine if this combined with my feet that are hands and I’m just a four-eared two-handed monster crawling around listening with my big stalk-ears?!

God help us for this image will never leave my brain.

Ah so you play the Wraith eh?? Well that’s good to know. Time to get my STRATS ready. Of course you’d play the most broken monster though.

And probably never but I’m keeping the dream going.

Evolve was good you guys.

9.0/10, Irrational Passions.

I REVIEWED IT.

http://irrationalpassions.com/evolve-review/

That’s it! That’s the show and the whole kitten-caboodle. 

It’s been a long week but keep things on the up and up. We’re about to move into February and I’m about to launch a cool new show and IP is working on some cool stuff to look forward to. So get hype!

oh and please keep it on the real.

(this gif of Danny laughing on Table Flip just miraculously popped up on my gif search and it’s a gift to you, me, and the GG gods, so enjoy)

[moiraineswife]

3 for phil?

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you... 

How I feel about this character: Tbh it’s like, pretty universal adoration. Which I shouldn’t. But morally grey queer ladies are my KRYPTONITE. Ahem. Okay, no, I acknowledge that perhaps she’s vaguely awful but like, do I care? No. Also she’s v Complicated as a character, I enjoy a female character having the typically masculine morally grey, ruthless, ‘for the greater good’ type role in a narrative. And I could write screeds of meta on the way her sexuality is presented in canon and the fluidity of sexuality and the nuances of it when it’s present in a character who is, effectively, immortal, and likely several centuries old. But I will not. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: To answer this question, simply: Step 1)- Is the character in question a lady? Step 2)- If the answer to step one is ‘yes’ then proceed to ‘yes I ship them’ Step 3)- If the answer is no ask ‘why not?’ OKAY NO SERIOUSLY. I am Weak for Phil and Sheala and also Weak for Phil and Triss (in the AU land in my head it’s Good, okay, idk what else to say) and I have tragically written nothing for it but I am Here for Phil/Yen as well. That about covers it. Oh no it doesn’t I forgot my crackship with Assire (Listen, the whole hufflepuff/slytherin thing Gets me.) 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Phil doesn’t have any friends this is a terrible question. Erm, okay, she and the other ladies of the Lodge, probably. Also Geralt bc hilarity and snark. And possibly Dandelion, purely for the iconic ‘Introduce me’ scene. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: Erm…That I…Genuinely like her??? (There’s a beautiful little corner that Appreciates her but from what I’ve seen in general people are pretty Nope towards her) 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Errrmmmmmmm. I would maybe have liked more backstory? I feel like I don’t know a huge amount about her past and I would Like To. 

My OTP: *screams at the horror of being made to Choose* okay, okay, I think that Phil/Sheala officially has its claws the most deeply sunk into me at the moment. They’re just so Good together, their dynamic is fascinating I am All For It. 

My OT3: M’kay this is what’s going to get me Disqualified from this fandom but at this point I’m too deep into my own garbage to care. I have two (what can I say, Phil is proficient in poly things, polymorphy, polyamory, she excels at it all)  Okay the first one I enjoy is like, in some AU where I twist and tweak and change various aspects of canon until it doesn’t really resemble canon anymore but instead looks like a world that fully fits my f/f/f designs: Sheala and Phil are married af and very happy wives together. Phil is, naturally, gay af, and Sheala is ace. They’re both totally chilled with this but like…Phil has Needs, and Sheala is aware of this. And because Phil is probably too proud to fess up to this, Sheala takes matters into her own hands and takes it upon herself to solve this problem. The way she does this is by approaching an unsuspecting Triss and just, ‘my wife is very frustrated and it’s driving me to distraction, I’m hiring you as her new fuck buddy, congratulations’ Triss is a bit like O_o oookkaaayyy, but like, who wouldn’t say yes to no-strings-attached sex with Phil? (every sensible human being on the planet. Fortunately, this list does not include either Triss, or me, so onwards and upwards) So that happens for a while and it’s pure sex and it works pretty well for both of them tbh and then things sort of…shift a little bit. Feelings are had and things suddenly start feeling…Decidedly….Domestic. At which point Triss realises she’s been adopted by two of the most terrifying sorceresses the world has ever known. And she’s pretty cool with that. Polyamory ensues. The second one is equally garbage and created in equal parts for my desire for a)- ot3s, b)- hilarity and c)- Phil to be with multiple people at once (who knows why. One person can’t handle her though, maybe two is the secret to Domesticating Philippa Eilhart (it’s not but it’s still fun)) Sooo I’m kiiind of here for Phil/Yen/Geralt tbh. Obviously there’s nothing remotely sexual/romantic between Phil and Geralt for gay/’you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’ reasons. But like, in the hilarious AU in my head (probably works best as a modern AU tbh) it goes down something like this: Yennfer cannot choose, and so she doesn’t. She just decides she’s going to have her cake and eat it, and she’s going to have both of them at once. Geralt and Phil therefore tolerate one another for Yennefer’s sake (and probably get ridiculously competitive abt it too. Like Phil will drift into the kitchen smirking and just ‘I made her come three times this morning before you even made her coffee :)’ Yennefer has a lot of orgasms that week and can’t quite work out why (she has a shrewd idea) but she’s not complaining) And eventually they probably grudgingly bond over like, snark, repressed feelings, and some really obscure interest that they probably weirdly have in common. Send me things!!