#i actually told my therapist i like mpreg

[delicioussshame]

Part Five of the Moshen Thing.

Shen Qingqiu waits to be announced before he enters Mobei-Jun’s quarters. He doesn’t want to disturb him for, if he’s honest with himself, is only personal gossip. He’s just really curious about what happened with Shang Qinghua? And if nothing happened Mobei-Jun might be depressed, and it’s not like Mobei-Jun is going to talk about his feelings on the matter to his entourage. It’s going to take all he has to get a few words from him if it went wrong, but he feels up to the challenge!

Turns out he won’t have to. He can tell from the relaxed way Mobei-Jun is standing and the faintest trace of a smile on his face that something very good happened since the last time he saw it. “How was Shang Qinghua?”

White teeth flash when he answers. “Fine.”

His fan, plum blossoms covered in snow, hides his own smile. “I see.” Hopefully they’ll be able to make it work. Shen Qingqiu has no trust in Shang Qinghua’s capacity to be a decent partner to anyone, but Mobei-Jun obviously disagrees. Shen Qingqiu wants to be the one in the wrong this time. “I wish you the best.” Since that’s how it is, he’s going to get all the dirty details from Airplane. That’s going to be way easier than trying to extract them from Mobei-Jun. “I’m sure you have better things to do than waste your time on me.” Like courting your new flame.

Mobei-Jun stops him from leaving by grabbing his arm. “Don’t go.”

He must have questions. Maybe he’s nervous now that he has to handle an actual relationship with a human? “Do you need something from me?” He keeps his tone calm and open. He doesn’t especially want to become their relationship therapist, but one does what one cans.

Mobei-Jun doesn’t let him go. “Thank you.”

Shen Qingqiu is flushed with pride. Look at this cold demon lord learning how to act like a person! Shang Qinghua better be grateful Shen Qingqiu warmed him up for him!

Emotionally! He meant emotionally! “I don’t need thanks. Just be happy.” He gestures at his arm, still caught in Mobei-Jun’s hold. “Though you might want to stop being touching me this freely.”

Mobei-Jun frowns. “Why?”

Shen Qingqiu waves his fan in amusement. “Shang Qinghua might get jealous.” That might have been fun. Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky deserves all the bullying he gets for having written this world. He shouldn’t have said anything.

“Why would he?”

Is that a hard concept to grasp? “It’s not really proper to flaunt your previous attachment when you have a new lover.”

“Previous.”

Shen Qingqiu starts to feel uneasy. “You did confess to Shang Qinghua, didn’t you? Or the reverse, it doesn’t really matter.”

This seems to make sense to Mobei-Jun. “Yes.”

“Then, he would expect fidelity.”

He can see the confusion on Mobei-Jun’s face. Shit. “Fidelity.”

“Most people only have one partner. They expect that partner to be loyal to them.”

“I’m a king. I might choose many spouses.”

Fuck. This is what you brought on yourself by writing a stallion novel, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky! Your own love interest is planning on gathering a harem! “And you told him that?”

But he knows what he’ll hear before he does. “He must know.”

He might not. Mobei-Jun didn’t have any canonical love interest. “You need to tell him about it. As soon as possible.”

“Junshang doesn’t mind.”

Shen Qingqiu is not getting in, shit! Luo Binghe isn’t an example for anyone to follow! And Luo Binghe himself isn’t out there actively adding flowers to his harem without Shen Qingqiu’s input, which he would definitely need or they would be having Words. “He doesn’t matter. Shang Qinghua does. Talk to him.”

Mobei-Jun stays mute for a while. Shen Qingqiu waits in very awkward silence.

What he says when he finally decides to speak doesn’t help. “You wouldn’t mind?”

Shen Qingqiu chokes. He doesn’t want to be involved in this mess, thank you! “I thought this would end that once you had Shang Qinghua.” When he finally allowed himself to really think about it, it became obvious. Shen Qingqiu already has… a reputation in the demon realm for his unparalleled hold on the strongest member of their kind. The last thing he needs is to become known as a home-wrecker, thank you. As tentative as the relationship between Shang Qinghua and himself can be, he’s not going to ruin his chance at happiness for one of Binghe’s kinky wishes. “You won’t even miss me. Shang Qinghua is too much of a handful.”

Mobei-Jun seems doubtful

In other circumstances, Shen Qingqiu would be flattered. “Talk to him.” How did he even became the resident therapist, he will never know. Of all the anachronisms Airplane included, why not this one? A good therapist might just have saved Luo Binghe from himself.

Sadly, it would also have made for a pretty boring book. Shen Qingqiu can already hear the pleas of needing money and pleasing the audience.

Mobei-Jun frowns but nods.

Shen Qingqiu escapes from this hell he made for himself as fast as he can.

____________

And then nothing happens.

For weeks.

He means, lots of things happens, but not on the ice demon/fellow transmigrator front.

It is possible Shen Qingqiu hears nothing because they’re both not staying at Binghe’s palace and Shen Qingqiu himself has spent some time at the sect, but still. A letter would have been nice. ‘Hello, we’re doing fine, thank you for being our marital counsellor’, something of the sort. Or even ‘Never put your hand on my husband again, you trollop!’ He just wants to know!

“Shizun can stop fretting. Mobei-Jun will look over the castle while I’m visiting the Southern provinces. He can ask him himself.”

Shen Qingqiu shouldn’t be surprised Luo Binghe noticed his agitation. Very few things relating to him escape his husband’s attention.

Still, Shen Qingqiu knows why his disciple really requested Mobei-Jun's presence. Should he take it as a sign something went wrong? Or very right? “Mobei-Jun didn’t object?”

Luo Binghe snorts. “Why would he. He’s probably eager to put his hands on Shizun again.”

But Shang Qinghua! “Considering his actual status, I very much doubt it.”

“All this time, and yet my husband is still blind to his own charms. This disciple is very lucky. That way, Shizun won’t think of looking for someone else.”

Shen Qingqiu is torn between being flattered and sighing. Binghe, why are you still bringing that up? This master has no intention of leaving you.

That’s a subject he really doesn’t feel like revisiting again. Oh well, if Mobei-Jun is coming, he’ll surely bring Shang Qinghua along. Shen Qingqiu will get to the bottom of this himself.

____________

“Seriously, bro, what are you worrying about? Everything is fine.”

“Is it? Is it!? Your love interest has every intention of sleeping around with anyone he takes a fancy to and everything is fine!? Even you must have higher standards.” Shang Qinghua had very conspicuously arrived at Mobei-Jun’s side, looking less stressed than Shen Qingqiu had ever seen him, if no less hyper. Shen Qingqiu had detected the change in seconds. He knows when someone is getting laid right, okay? He’s intimately familiar with what that’s like, courtesy of basically being the heroine.

All he’d felt at the sight had been happiness for his compatriot and the other demon in his life. He had had no plans to disturb their bliss! So why are they having this conversation right now? Shouldn’t Shang Qinghua work on keeping his lover in check instead of trying to pimp him out?

“You’re exaggerating. It’s only you. He was already sleeping with you before he was doing me anyway. If anything, I’m the interloper.”

How is this his life? “I’m not romantically involved with Mobei-Jun, so of course I’m the one in the way.”

Shang Qinghua stays silent.

…What the fuck is that silence supposed to mean!? “Did you forget I’m married to the protagonist? I don’t need anyone else! I really wish people would remember that!”

“That’s something you don’t have worry about. Everyone knows you’re married to Luo Binghe. He’s not subtle about it. That’s not the point. The point is I knew, well no I didn’t know what I was getting in when I included harems in my story, but I did it anyway, the point is I expected this outcome okay? Luo Binghe being loyal to you is close to a miracle, not the rule. Getting Mobei-Jun is already more than I could ever have dreamed for. He’s not gonna go against the grain for me, and that’s fine. And if he’s gonna have someone else, who better than you? You’re not gonna marry him, and you’re not gonna ask him to leave me, so I don’t have anything to complain about.”

“…Are you fucking serious right now?”

Shang Qinghua pats his fucking shoulders like he’s a lady having the vapours. “Calm down. Keep breathing. It’s going to make sense if you think about it.”

“You allowing your lover to sleep around because you think you’re not good enough for him not to is never going to make sense.”

Shang Qinghua flinches like he just hit him. Good. Maybe he’ll understand how completely stupid he’s being. “Bro, that was way harsh. What did I ever do to you to deserve that?”

Shen Qingqiu just stares him down until he squeals. Please, Shang Qinghua knows exactly what he did, mainly everything around them.

“Not everyone has like, crazy powers of seduction that can make anyone fall for them, okay? Some of us have to content themselves with what they can have.”

Shen Qingqiu chokes. He does not have crazy powers of seduction, what the hell!

Not the point. “Did you tell Mobei-Jun that?”

Shang Qinghua’s eyes bug out. “So that I can look even more pathetic than I already do? No way, bro, no way. He told me he was eventually going to marry other people, I said I knew that, he kissed me, and then I-“

“Shut up! I don’t need to know about that!” He already knows more than enough about Mobei-Jun in bed! He really doesn’t need to know about Shang Qinghua! “Shouldn’t you have elaborated more?”

“And say what? Sorry, you’re not allowed to have an heir, you’re gonna have to let your bloodline disappear?”

“Are you seriously telling me you didn’t include mpreg in this mess? Or like, can’t he pick one of his nephews or something?”

“Excuse me, which part of stallion novel screams mpreg to you! Of course I didn’t include that! Not that I would be surprised if you fucking everything up caused a way for it to happen to exist! And yes, he could pick a member of his family as his heir, but then I would be stopping him from having children and that’s not cool. Tiny little Mobei-Juns running around with serious faces! Even your frozen heart must want to see that!”

…That would be heart-stoppingly cute.

So would all the tiny Binghes that were supposed to exist and that Shen Qingqiu ruthlessly culled by stealing their father for himself.

“…Bro, don’t be like that, that’s not what I meant, don’t be sad! They’ll kill me if you’re sad!”

Shen Qingqiu gets a grip on himself. Now’s not the time. “I’m not sad.”

“…Sure bro, you’re not.”

“You’re the one that has reasons to be sad.”

“Not really. I really am okay with it.”

Well, Shen Qingqiu isn’t.

Something is going to have to be done.

[csichick-2]

I'm semi-plotting a Lashton Mpreg AU in my head that may never end up on paper because I get nervous about sharing RPF.

So in this potential story, shortly after Ashton joins the band, he passes out after a gig and at the hospital they find out that Ash has been physically and sexually abused and also that he's pregnant, which Ashton himself didn't even know yet.  He's also malnourished cuz he was trying to lose the weight he was gaining from his pregnancy because he just thought he was getting fat.  Liz conveniently has a sister that's a social worker who conveniently also happened to be at the gig.  She works her social worker magic and Liz and Andrew get emergency custody of Ashton and his siblings.  Lauren and Harry weren’t abused - Ash took it all and never said anything to keep them safe. Ashton almost has a miscarriage because of the abuse and malnutrition, but the baby's a fighter and pulls through. He considers having an abortion because the pregnancy resulted from rape, but ends up deciding to have the baby. He's nervous that Liz and Andrew will throw him out when he turns 18, but Liz reassures him that they'll never force him to leave, but that if he chooses to, they'll help him find a place of his own and help him out financially until he's able to support himself on his own.

 Ashton's first night home from the hospital, he has a nightmare and Luke - who's room is right across the hall - ends up crawling into bed with Ash and comforting him.  This happens several nights in a row and eventually Luke just stops starting out in his own bed and is all "yeah Ashton and I share a bed now, deal with it."  Andrew thinks it's a bad idea cuz Luke and Ash are 15 and 17, but Liz is all yeah Ashton's already pregnant and Luke can't get pregnant, so let's just roll with it.

 Luke and Ash and Cal and Mikey keep doing their thing with the band and they start getting comments on YouTube asking if Lashton is having a baby cuz Ash has started showing and Luke is always fussing over him.  Luke, Cal, and Mikey do a video without Ash so he’s not forced to talk about it and address the abuse situation as tactfully as they can and leave a link to an article about the trial related to the abuse.

 Ash finds out he’s having a girl and the first time Luke feels her kick, he refers to her as “our baby” and Ashton falls in love with him right then and there.  Luke’s also been reading pregnancy books and has pretty much decided that he’s helping Ashton co-parent this baby whether his parents like it or not.  Liz and Andrew aren’t thrilled cuz Luke’s still only 15, but there’s not a whole lot they can do about at this point.

 I haven’t worked out the details, but Luke manages to convince Ash, Liz, and Andrew that his name should be on the baby’s birth certificate as her second father.  Liz is also in the delivery room when Ash goes into labor - like a week after a gig cuz the band isn’t letting Ash’s pregnancy stop them - but Luke is the one holding Ash’s hand and supporting him through giving birth to Baby Hemmings-Irwin. Ashton names her Lucie after Luke and her middle name is Elizabeth after Liz.  The night they bring Lucie home from the hospital, Luke says that since he and Lucie share a first initial, their next kid’s name has to begin with an A and Ash is all “I literally just gave birth so we’ll talk about that much later.”  A few week’s later, Ash turns 18 and Luke proposes to him and Ash is all WTF because Luke still is only 15, but he says yes cuz they’re stupid in love, but he figures it will be a long engagement until Luke’s 18.  Except in New South Wales, you can get married at 16 with the consent of your parents and the court and Luke’s a persistent bastard and pulls it off, so when the boys - with baby Lucie - head to London for songwriting, Luke & Ashton Hemmings-Irwin are married.  

 Around when it’s announced they’ll be be opening for 1D on the Take Me Home Tour, Luke starts talking to Ash about having a second baby and has already figured out the timing to make sure the baby’s not born until after the tour.  Ashton doesn’t know how to say no to Luke, but says they can only start trying if Cal and Mikey are okay with it in case another pregnancy ends up ruining the band. Mikey's all "wait you mean you're not already pregnant?" cuz he figured they started trying their wedding night.  He and Cal give their blessing and by the end of 2013, their son Avery is born cuz Luke won the A name argument.  Their management throws a hissy when they find out Ash is pregnant and threaten to kick him out of the band and replace them, but Luke, Cal, and Mikey all say they’ll quit if that happens, so management begrudgingly puts up with it. There’s some backlash from fan parents thinking two irresponsible teenagers having a kid is a bad example for their children and Luke is all “Excuse me, my husband and I planned the timing of this out very well thank you very much” on twitter and the internet explodes cuz Lashton are married.  But generally the reaction is positive and the boys have fun with it letting fans guess when the Lashton baby will arrive and the gender.

 Early 2015, they have twin boys who's names begin with C and M cuz they're nerds like that and then have another boy a year later, which is how they have five children before Luke's 20th birthday.  Ashton pops out three more boys in 2017, 2018, and 2019 with no plans of stopping with the babies because Luke desperately wants another girl and Ashton at one point foolishly told Luke that he can get his pregnant as many times as possible up until Ash's 30th birthday and Luke ofc was all "challenge accepted."  Luke's also become an expert at planning pregnancies around their tours so while a few times a show has started late because of Ash’s morning sickness, they've never had to cancel one.

 Ash gets pregnant again right before the World War Joy tour starts, but because I'm evil, he miscarries, which they find out at the first ultrasound when there’s no heartbeat.  And Luke blames himself.  Because if he hadn’t insisted on using every available baby-making opportunity - the largest age gap between kids is the 17 months between Lucie and Avery - and given Ash’s body more time to recover between pregnancies, then maybe they wouldn’t have lost the baby.  And also wonders if maybe it was God’s sign that they’re only meant to have 8 kids. Ashton tries to give Luke some space, but he’s hurt that Luke is withdrawing from him.  Luke confides in Mikey a lot and Ash goes to Cal and both of them are all “dude, I love you, but I’m not your therapist.”

 When the window that would have a kid be born during the gap between the North America and Australia legs of No Shame passes by with Luke making zero effort to actually make a baby, Ashton decides to take matters into his own hands.  So the whole shirtlessness at Fire Fight is totally baiting Luke into wanting to have sex again cuz they haven’t since the miscarriage not even with Ash topping, cuz Luke only tops when they’re trying to conceive.  They’re also asked in an interview if there are any plans for more kids and Ash is a cheeky bastard and says that he fully expects to be pregnant by the end of the year because Luke loves how he looks pregnant.  And Luke is giving him “WTF did you really just say that?” looks.  And then finally have an adult conversation and Ashton tells Luke that the miscarriage wasn’t his fault and that sometimes that shit just happens and dammit they’re going to keep trying until Luke finally gets his second girl.  They start the baby-making process once they know the due date will be past the Australia shows, and Ash knows he’s pregnant with multiples even before the ultrasound because the only previous pregnancy where he had really bad morning sickness was with the twins.  That still doesn’t prepare Luke & Ash for the doctor telling them that heartbeats 1, 2, AND 3 are all nice and strong and Ash immediately turns to Luke and tells him he’s a dead man.  Cal and Mikey were baby-sitting while they were at the doc’s and are all nervous because Cal, Mikey, and Liz are the only ones that know about Ash’s miscarriage.  But all is good and they find out that all three babies are girls and two of them are identical.  Ash does go into labor early after the last Australia show, but they’re able to stop it, but he’s on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy which makes him really crabby. They’d been planning to stay in Australia until the babies were born anyway, their families are able to help out with the rest of the kiddos.  Liz & Andrew Take them for Christmas because Ash doesn’t need that chaos and he ends up going into labor in the middle of the night on Christmas morning. They realize they won’t get to the hospital in time so Luke ends up delivering the first baby in their bedroom but the paramedics get there in time to deliver babies two and three.  During the delivery, Ash informs Luke that he’s going to be getting a vasectomy, but Luke’s not sure if he actually means it given that 20 minutes later he also threatens to castrate Luke with a rusty spoon. They name the babies Soleil, Luna, and Astra - as in sun, moon, and stars.  Mikey’s all wtf you guys are weird and Cal’s all “you’re only just figuring that out now?”

 I haven’t decided yet if they’re done after the triplets or if Ash sticks to his original promise to let Luke knock him up until he’s 30 because they’re already at 11 kids and that’s a lot.  If they do have more they’re going to wait a whole year before even thinking about trying because they’re gonna be more short on sleep than usual because three infants.  Lucie is a mini Ashton in girl form, but the rest of the kids all have Luke’s hair and Ash’s eyes or Ash’s hair and Luke’s eyes.  While the kiddos all know what their daddies do cuz they drag the kids on tour with them and hire tutors instead of sending them to school like normal people, they never push the kids towards learning any instruments.  But Lucie starts banging about on Ash’s drums when she’s five and he starts teaching her and his heart grows about 50 sizes that she’s taking after him and it’s the cutest thing ever.  Haven’t decided what level of musical talent any of the rest of the kiddos have but Luke does make the mistake of leaving one of his guitars out while Avery’s teething and it ends up with tiny tooth marks. He also ends up taking the lip ring out because baby number 5 is a grabber and pulls on it and Luke decides it should go before the kiddo is strong enough to rip it out and cause a lot of damage and pain.  I haven’t done the research on hair dye and pregnancy, but might be losing out on Ash’s hair color evolution.  And his earring because again tiny grabby hands, though it can always appear later once they’re done having babies.

 I might do Malum as a side pairing - I haven’t decided yet. And since Ash is pregnant both times they open for 1D, that might facilitate Larry and/or Ziam coming out but that wouldn’t be a major plot point.

 I did make a Sims save with teenage!5SOS last night to play this out.  I was too lazy to make their families so it’s just Cal, Mikey, Luke, and Ash sharing an apartment and then I used mods to immediately make Ash preggers.  The guy in the next apartment was having loud sex when they were trying to go bed so I sent Ash over to go yell at him since he can blame pregnancy hormones.  This same neighbor also tried to invite himself over to eat their food after Ash made dinner so this guy is going to be one of those neighbors.  I’m trying to avoid using the money cheat as much as I can, but they’ll need a bigger space by the time Avery’s ready to age up to toddler.  I might move them into the swanky penthouse apartment with an indoor basketball court because it’s the only lot where I’ve found a place to put a rock climbing wall where it doesn’t get rained on and break every timer the weather’s wonky. Eventually Cal & Mikey will have to stop living with them but I’ll worry about that when there’s no more room for them.  My mods let me do household sizes up to 25, so that part’s not an issue, it will just be a no more beds problem.  Mods will also help me make sure that the right number and gender of kiddos are born each time.  I’ll just have to force myself to not age up the babies the second they’re born because Sim babies are the world’s biggest pain in the ass.

[lady-of-dare]

Halex fic rec list

After what seems like forever I’m finally done. So please enjoy this list and I hope you’ll have a lot of fun reading those fics. And please leave them a comment, I’m sure the authors would love that!

could be canon fics

Continuing Education 

Author: Taricha

Summary: “Yeah?” Alex said with a smirk, sneaking his fingertips up under the lab coat. “Does that turn you on? I could calculate the area of a circle for you, if it gets you hot.”

“Maybe later,” Hank said agreeably, and kissed him briefly before pulling back and saying with alarming enthusiasm, “you could go to college!”

If I Were an Enzyme 

Author: AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk

"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."

"I don't wear jeans. These are dress pants."

Or, in which Alex attempts to woo Hank with scientific pick-up lines.

When Hope Guards the Gate 

Author: Meddalarksen, victoriousscarf

Charles pretends to create a mutant school, Hank actually creates a mutant school, and Erik's band of revolutionaries weaves in and out of their lives.

No none ever claimed being a mutant was going to be easy, but no one said it was going to be this complicated either.

my absolute favorite, must-read! Edited version of „Not Just Pain and Anger“

Not Just Pain and Anger 

Author: Meddalarksen, victoriousscarf

After the events of First Class, Erik and Charles' lives continue to intertwine, and they attempt to stay together despite being on opposite sides. It's easier and harder by turns, as one tries to continue to build his school, and the other tries to raise an army.

previous version of “When Hope Guards the Gate”

Five Things Alex Hates About Hank (and all the things he doesn’t) 

Author: meeks00

“The blue one was mine,” Hank concludes. He sets both tubes back in the rack with the others. “Not everything needs to explode for it to be ruined, Alex,” he says.

Now That I'm Older 

Author: plinys

When Scott begins to show symptoms of something all too familiar to Alex, he brings him to the only place he knows that can help, and runs into an old 'friend' along the way.

Other AU’s

The Things That Fade 

Author: UisceOneLove

It was little things here and there in the beginning.

Lapsing on the affection Alex always had in that nickname like the previous time in the lab, or he’d forget a word when it was right on the tip of his tongue. There were a few times he would be in the middle of a conversation with Charles and he would suddenly blank on what point he was making. Once he ended up in the jet’s bay and forgot why he was there in the first place.

Or in other words, the world where Hank gets Alzheimer's and is forced to see his world crumble.

Amazing fic, read “It Ends Tonight” after this

It Ends Tonight 

Author: UisceOneLove

Alex was tired.

Alex was angry.

Alex wanted to destroy everything he could with his beams.

Alex wanted to scream and cry until it hurt and then just do it some more.

Alex just wanted his fucking Hank back.

Second part of “The Things That Fade”

5 Ways Logan Fixed Everything (Like a Boss) 

Author: Laen_Lamperouge

What would happen if Charles and Eric could persuade Logan to join them?

(or how Logan solves all problems with sarcasm and coolness)

Solace 

Author: mangollama

Alex's daemon hasn't settled. Hank wonders why that is.

bless the broken road 

Author: the_queenmaker

Her father had wanted a boy. That’s where all the trouble had started

Scientists Prefer Blondes 

Author: Meddalarksen, victoriousscarf

Hank made a vague distressed sound and shook his head. "How's a steady lover treating you?" he asked and Tony choked on air.

Alex snorted at that, crossing his arms out of habit, "And he's a blond too. I tell you, you guys have a type."

"A type?" Tony blinked and Hank laughed. "We have a type? Who has a type."

"Apparently scientists prefer blondes," Hank translated for him. "It's been Alex's pet theory for a while."

Someone to Love the Both of Us

Author: emperors_girl

In the nursery, the baby is still crying. Charles leaves Erik where he sleeps and goes to pick up the child. They'll both be gone by the time Erik wakes.

not a fan of mpreg, but I really liked this one!

College AU

The Old College Try 

Author: misterkevo

"The thing is, part of what makes Hank McCoy uncomfortable to be spending time alone with Alex Summers is that it’s possible that he has the smallest, most minute crush on him." - or, college AU in which Hank tries a new look to get Alex’s attention.

Hot for Teacher 

Author: arosynose

Alex needs to pass Pre-Calc if he doesn't want to flunk out of college. Unfortunately, his professor is a total dick.

High School AU

If You Liked The Book, You'll Hate The Movie 

Author: Paperclipbitch

Modern-Day High School AU. It’s not until Hank realises half the class are glancing towards the back of the classroom with something like nerves and something like schadenfreude that he finds out Alex Summers is back.

detriment for tooth enamel 

Author: wordquaff

This is half about a fake relationship, but mostly about an anxious boy named Hank and his overbearing friends and really good guidance counselor

It was quiet for a few minutes as they exchanged looks and Hank drew tight circles with his fingertips into the pads of his digits, before Ms. Pryde finally spoke, “I’m sorry, is this some youth culture thing I’m not keeping up with? Pressuring friends into sex with Dawson Creek actors?”

Skidding Down the Sliding Scale 

Author: keire_ke

Alex chalks up his grudging love for his dad to Stockholm Syndrome. He’s not going to stand idly by while Erik harvests Mr. Xavier’s innocent soul, however. Human AU.

It started with a bong 

Author: Humphrey

The day the principal finds a bong in his locker, seriously changes Hank’s life.

His dads are divorcing, the school’s favorite bad boy is in detention with him and people are actually gossiping about him.

Message Received 

Author: flowermasters

Alex Summers is bored in Miss Frost's class. Luckily, he happens to have Hank McCoy's phone number.

Out of Spite or Love 

Author: acherik

Hank pretends to be Alex’s boyfriend after Alex asks him to. He has no idea why but he plans to find out.

Tales of a Serial Homewrecker (With Good Intentions) 

Author: AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk

“Let's make a deal. If… if neither of us are married or engaged or in a serious relationship or whatever by the time you turn 35, since my birthday is earlier than yours, then we have to get married."

“Sure, dude, why the hell not?"

Some other Modern AU’s (no powers)

5 Minute Flirtations 

Author: blumvale (sailorpipn)

Raven convinces Hank to try speed dating. Initially, Hank is quite wary about the whole thing. Once at the bar, the first person he meets is Alex, the bartender. While Alex lends his ear to Hank's dating woes, the two men grow closer until Hank realizes, maybe speed dating was the best idea Raven has ever had.

back to me 

Author: sweetpeater

It's Christmas Eve.

It's Christmas Eve, and Hank is alone.

we’re all here because we’re not all here 

Author: nighimpossible

AU, no powers. Charles and the gang are in treatment at the Elizabeth Braddock Rehabilitation Clinic for their various problems. Erik is the new patient, convinced he's going to die. Alex is getting a little too intimate with his therapist, and Dr. Hank McCoy remains torn between love and ethics. Lines are crossed, tears are cried, hopes are dashed and dreams are reborn. Somewhere in between, people fall in love.

The Loveliest Nightmare 

Author: nightmare_kisser

Welcome to the D-Wing. My name is Charles, but please, call me Professor X. I think you'll like it here; we're all good friends. We used to be mutants, you see, in another reality.

AU where everyone is a big family (especially Hank and Alex and sometimes even Scott)

this is only now (where do we go from here) 

Author: thebodyeclectic

From this prompt on the 1stclass_kink meme: Modern AU, where an older Alex (in his mid twenties?) somehow figures out/recieves the news that, no, his younger brother didn't die in the crash like he'd been told, and then sets out to find him. The catch is, Scott's been adopted and adores his 'dad', who is incidentally the adorkable Hank McCoy.

The Start of a Coming Race 

Author: thebodyeclectic

Wherein their family gets even bigger.

Continuation of “this is only now”

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Raisin Cookies and Mob Bosses 

Author: orphan_account

Leaning forward, Alex whispers, “Can I tell you a seeecret?”

“Um. Sure. Why not?”

“I’m gonna marry Hank McCoy.” He watches with a detached interest as the guy’s ears go pink, followed by his cheeks.

“Oh, really? Why would you say that?”

“He made me chocolate chip oatmeal raisin cookies. And they were the Best Ever.”

for here you are, standing there, loving me 

Author: chloeburgis

Charles is a brilliant grad student, at Columbia on a full-ride. But his scholarship doesn't cover rent or the other necessities of living, so when his mother finally cuts him off, he is well and truly fucked. Enter emotionally distant father Erik Lehnsherr, in need of a live-in nanny for his seven adopted children. Who have driven off the eleven previous nannies. And who are all highly powerful mutants. Really, how hard can it be?

Or, the modern day The Sound of Music AU no one asked for

This Will Be 

Author: SpiritsFlame

Hank McCoy is in love with the perfect woman. One day, he's certain, they will fall in love and be married. It would be a grand plan if they'd ever met. When she falls into a coma, Hank tries to look after her and is thrown into the topsy-turvey world of her family. And he can't help but be drawn to her rude and infuriating foster brother Alex. Written for Reel_Xmen

Lean On Me 

Author: SpiritsFlame

Ten years ago, Charles and Erik split up, dividing their six kids between them. None of them expect them to meet at summer camp. And no one could have predicted the results. Written for the reel_xmen challenge.

Okay so that’s it for now. 

These are the fics that I remember good enough to recommend them. If you want more, please visit my ao3 account and look at my bookmarks ^^

Oh and these are only from ao3, since I didn’t find a lot of Halex on other websites.

If you want more rec list (for whatever fandom, ship, character or whatever) send me a message!

Enjoy

[fenweak]

hockey? what hockey? a 1988 fic rec

Where Jonny and/or Pat are ordinary guys with ordinary jobs and they still fall in love. Because self-help is reading AUs. ★ are personal faves

short: ~2k words

medium: 2k-20k words

long: 20k-60k

novel length : 60k~

Actors & Performers

It'll Take You Up or Down (chatfic) by puckling - former child actor!Pat

like a heartbeat drives you mad ★- teen | medium | actor!Pat, agent Jonny | pretend relationship

When the Stars Align by liveinfury - teen | medium | rival actors Pat and Jon

88 Dates - medium | actor Pat, accountant Jonny | The Bachelor AU

warm hands series by Caivallon  ★ - explicit | long | ballet dancer Pat | 

you got a look in your eyes by elenamichaels - explicit | medium | ballet dancer Pat

mime out by hazel - explicit | medium | mime!Jonny, office guy Pat

Animal-related

Pavlov? It Rings a Bell by conformityissuicide - mature | medium | Pat is a dog-trainer

The Bee's Knees by dragons_and_angels - gen | medium | beekeeper Pat

Shell Out by jezziejay - short | Pat works at a pet store, office guy Jonny

good things come to those who bait by thundersquall ★ - teen | medium | fishermen Jon and Pat | hilarity | ft. sid/geno

Architect

perfect match by thundersquall - explicit | long | architect Pat, lawyer Jon | online dating

private passions secret storms series by CoffeeKristin, Frosting50 - explicit | novel length | architect Jon, stay at home dad Pat | mpreg, infidelity

This Is What A Love Song Sounds Like by fourfreedoms ★  - explicit | medium | architect Pat, startup guy Jon | highschool reunion AU

Baker

the kazer dick cake fic of shame and glory series by Celly1995 - explicit | long |  baker!Pat | awkward post-hookup encounter

No Assembly Required ★ - mature | medium | baker Pat, flower shop owner Jon | mail order bride AU

Barista/Coffeeshop

a real grind by thisissirius - teen | medium | Starbucks barista Pat

coffee's for closers - explicit | medium | coffeeshop owner Pat, Jon is the customer he's crushing on

Cool Beans, Bro - explicit | long | Pat owns a coffee shop named "Stanley (cup)", office guy Jon | ft. barista Segs

like a caffeine rush by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - teen | medium | cafe owner stat genius Pat | soul bond

Looking for a rhythm like you by tictactoews - explicit | medium | cafe owner Jon, teacher Pat

Morning Commute by CoffeeKristin - gen | short | barista at a deli Pat, office guy Jon

sounds like hallelujah by fadeastride - mature | medium | Starbucks barista Pat, lawyer Jon | the one where he always gets Jon's name wrong

Today's Special by jonnyhustle - teen | short | Starbucks barista Pat

(when the moon hits your eye) Like a Big Pizza Lie by jezziejay  ★ - teen | medium | barista Jon, student architect /restorator Pat | in Rome!

Bartender/ Clubs

Body Shots - explicit | medium | bartender Pat

Beer League MVP (among other things) - teen | medium | bartender Pat | misunderstandings

Just What I Ordered by phuckphace - mature | medium | bartender Jonny

ShimmerGlisten by Frosting50 - explicit | short | bar owner Pat, office guy Jonny

The Barrister and the Bartender by AnthemGlass - explicit | medium | bartender Pat, lawyer Jon

The Places You Will Be From by eberbae, hatrickane   ★ - explicit | novel length | bartenders Pat and Jon | enemies to lovers

too dark in this bar tonight by midnightrambles - mature | medium | bottle server Pat

more under the cut

Caddy

If You Were Real by toewsyourheart - explicit | medium | caddy!Pat, Prince Jonny

off green mulligan by Pinkmanite - explicit | medium | caddy!Pat

Chef

all we can eat - mature | medium | chef/restaurateur Jonny, food critic!pat

so i let my walls come down, down by thundersquall ★ - explicit | medium | chef/restaurateur Jonny

Entrepreneur/Shop Owner

53rd Street Shinny by taliahale - teen | medium | rival hockey store owners jonny and pat | You've Got Mail AU

Baby, It's Hot Outside by toewsyourheart ★ - gen | medium | popsicle vendor!pat, editor!jonny

Hot Diggity Dog by creampuffer - teen | medium | hotdog stand owner!Pat | office guy Jonny

Home Grown or Five Times Jonny Read Patrick’s Sign (and One Time Patrick Read Jonny’s) by CoffeeKristin - teen | medium | plant nursery owner!Pat

Locally Sourced or Five Times Jonny Didn't Want Kaner's Sausage (and One Time He Did) by CoffeeKristin ★ - teen | medium | rival farmer's market concessionaires AU | pat sells gourmet sausages, jon sells the healthy stuff 

The face he can't forget by CoffeeKristin - explicit | long | fishing shop owner Jonny | Notting Hill AU

Whole Hearted by CoffeeKristin - gen | Pat runs his dad's pretzel shop, Jon owns a hippie chiropractic center

"Will It Blend?" series by Celly1995 ★ - explicit | long | smoothie shop owner Jon

Every Little Thing He Does (is magic) by jezziejay (WIP) - teen | long | hippie shop owner Jon, local police chief Kaner | 

Farm/Ranch

farmer au series by toewsyourheart ★ - medium | farmer Jonny, police Pat | Jonny's organic corn is missing

the road less traveled by thundersquall - medium | farm owner Jonny

Hide Your Face So The World Will Never Find You (Paper Faces On Parade) by huntersandangels - mature | long | farm owner Jonny, rich guy in disguise Pat

how the heat series by allthebros - explicit | medium | farmhands Jon and Pat | a/b/o

state of grace - explicit | long | farm owner Jon, horse trainer Pat | estranged childhood sweethearts

Wild Stallions: A Love Story - explicit | medium | ranch workers Pat and Jon

Firefighter

(You) Turn The Temperature Higher by hawkeytime ★ - teen | medium | volunteer firefighter Jon

firefighter!Jonny AU ficlet - short | firefighter Jon

Flight Attendant

Sky High or Five Times Jonny Didn't Join the Mile High Club (And One Time He Did) by CoffeeKristin - explicit | medium | flight attendant!Pat, business

Home Improvement (?)

Between the Pipes - explicit | medium | home renovator Jonny, teacher Pat | reality TV

how does your garden grow? - teen | medium | landscaper!Jonny, app developer!Pat

Hotel/Accommodations

Cozy Windmill Inn series ★ by ukiyo91 - mature | long | Jonny runs a b&b, Pat is a theater actor

Journalists

[Buzz]Feed My Flame by toewsyourheart - mature | medium | buzzfeed writer!Pat, book editor! Jonny

nobody quite like you by rightnow - explicit | medium | reporter Pat

say something by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - mature | medium | war journalist Pat, Prince Jon in the military

Strung Out on Heaven's High (hitting an all-time low) by jezziejay ★ - mature | long | beat reporter! Kaner

You Give Love A Bad Name - explicit | medium | sex columnist Jon, sex shop worker Pat

anorgasmic girl!Kaner tag by fourfreedoms  - explicit | medium | follow up here | writers Pat and Jon | rule!63

Lawyers/Legal

bona fides series by demotu - explicit | medium | lawyer!Jonny | one night stand

Carve His Name With Pride - long | paralegal!Jonny| mpreg | the one where they have a son who becomes an NHL goalie

Halifax Privateers series by electrumqueen  - mature | novel length | lawyer Jonny, media guy Pat | they came out as teens and never got drafted AU

safe to shore by empathapathique ★ - explicit | medium | lawyer Jonny, writer Pat | or, the estranged husbands AU | angst

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by hazel - mature | medium | lawyers jon and pat

Librarian

kiss and ride in the cta, podfic by exmanhater  - explicit | medium |  librarian Jon, law student Pat | meet cute at the CTA

This Love Is Be and End All, podfic by exmanhater - teen | medium | librarian Pat | the one with the Blackhawks Book Club

We Could Turn the Pages - gen | medium | librarian Jon who gives Pat a hard time

Models

Patrick Kane does not date models - short | photographer Pat, model Jon

That's Fashion, Baby by anilad - mature | medium | male models Jon and Pat

Model!Jonny series by CitrusVanille - teen | medium | male model Jon

You Make It Look Good  ★ - explicit | long | model Jon, photographer Pat

Medical Professionals

baby, be with me (so happily) - medium | midwife!Pat, not a hockey player Jon  | Pat assists on the birth of Jon's nephew

we were in flames ★ - long | mature | MD Jon, musician Pat | college sweethearts

Bad Case of Loving You by ukiyo91, yukonecho  ★- mature | medium | team doctor!Jonny 

I was told love is blind (but he can see fine, when he's looking at me) by  Aria_Masterson1153 - sports physician Pat | massage porn

Muscle Stim by sahiya ★- explicit | medium | physical therapist Jon

Taut by hatrickane - explicit | medium | physical therapist Jon

The Fifth Time’s the Charm - mature | medium | athletic trainer Pat

Theoretical Maximum Tolerated Dose by fourfreedoms  ★ - explicit | medium | MDs Jon and Pat in a research hospital

untold stories of the er series by toewsyourheart - teen | medium | RN Pat, MD Jonny

Won't You Swim With Me? by midnightrambles - gen | medium | MD Pat

Got Your Back by Prialee  (WIP) - teen | long | RN Pat, law student Jonny who has cancer | 50/50 AU

Military

and live honorably - teen | medium | army!Pat | coming home

Scratch Lottery Ticket Life by dedougal - teen | medium | peace-keeping force Pat and Jon

So Lift Those Heavy Eyelids by SimoneClouseau ★ - explicit | medium | fighter pilots Jon and Pat | alien invasion | open ending

all my edges are exposed - mature | medium | army Pat and Jon | generation kill AU

Your Faded Arrangements by ukiyo91 - mature | medium | war vet Jon

trace your path between the stars by thundersquall  ★ - explicit | medium | space military a/b/o!!!!

Musicians

About Today by ukiyo91, yukonecho  - explicit | medium | rock star pat, manager Jonny

concentrating on falling apart ★ - mature | medium | rival rock band stars Jonny and Pat | angst

Cup Champs by my99centdreams - explicit | long | jon and pat are in a rock band

Notes in a Minor Cord by Bellaphant - teen | medium | popstar Pat, bodyguard Jonny

throw caution to the wind (and start over again) - teen | medium | street musician Jon

In My Blood and In My Bones + Nothing Sweet or Gentle by fourfreedoms - explicit | medium | nanny Jon, band guitarist Pat

(Generic) Office Guys

the show goes on by hazel  ★ - explicit | medium | officemates Jon and Pat, they’re in data entry | podfic

Waiting Room by heartstrings - teen | medium |  officemates Jon and Pat, web designer Pat, graphic designer Jon | post-anesthesia shenanigans

Same Time, Same Place by brutti_ma_buoni- explicit | medium | office guy Jonny, in the plastics business

Police & Agents

a bad case of loving you series (unfinished WIP) - long | CIA agents Jonny and Pat

A Real Actual Live Cop by jonnyhustle - teen | medium | police!jonny, Kaner thinks he's a stripper

Go, Johnny, Go - explicit | medium | police!Jonny | speeding ticket shenanigans

i'm bound to walk away these blues by leah k (blinkiesays) ★ - mature | medium | police!Pat, mountie!Jonny | inter-country buddy cop fic, ft. TJ Oshie

It Always Feels Like Somebody's Watching Me by Mullsandmutts - mature | long | police!Pat | whodunit

Make His Brown Eyes Blue ★ by jezziejay - teen | medium | FBI agent Jonny, thief Patrick | can't recommend this fic highly enough

maybe all you need is someone to trust by alwaysbuddy - mature | medium | secret agents AU | kingsman AU

Perfect Pull by MajaLi - mature | medium | police Jon and Pat | coffee-related romance

tell me something I need to know - mature | medium | police Jon, prostitute (?) Kaner

Politics

first gentleman of canada tag by kanerboo  ★ - Prime Minister of Canada Jon, First Gentleman Kaner | established relationship

The Minister and Foreign Affairs by jezziejay - teen | medium | Canadian Minister for Sport Jon, tea guy Patrick | Love Actually AU

Priest

Be Thou My Ally by ingenius ★- explicit | medium | priest of Aphrodite!Pat | +podfic

Double Bind by blue_spruce ★ - mature | long | priest Pat | angst

Secretaries & Assitants

his executive assistant! by hazel - mature | medium | exec. assistant! Jon, genius millionaire engineer Pat

deep in my bones, I can feel you (take me back to a time only we knew) by gasmsinc - explicit | long | secretary to the mob!Patrick, mob boss Jonny

we're looking for something dumb to do by hatrickane - mature | medium | assistant Pat, publisher Jonny | The Proposal AU

Ice-cream Castles in the Air by jezziejay ★ - mature | long | personal assistant to a  football player Pat, entrepreneur Jon | sweet home alabama AU | bah gawd have your tissues ready for this one

Strip Clubs, Sex Work & Porn

baby, you could have whatever you like by jessus - teen | medium | street hooker Pat, high-class escort Jon

i don't play hard to get (i play to get you hard) by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - explicit | medium | pornstars Jon and Pat

I'm So Glad You Called by bergamotandbone (corpsereviver2) ★ - mature | short | phone sex worker Pat, roomie Jonny

Julia Roberts Sits in a Throne of Lies (abandoned WIP) - nc-17 | long | rentboy Jonny | still very funny

never ever learned to read or write so well - explicit | medium | rentboy Jonny

The Past We Left Behind by PensToTheEnd - explicit | long | runaway rentboy Pat

Oh, Pool Boy! by RRsummers - explicit | medium | porn stars Jon and Pat

amateur porn

pictures of lily by gasmsinc - medium | porn stars Jon and Pat

Talk Dirty to Me by liveinfury (lotionbottle) - explicit | medium | phone sex operator Pat

The Way You Drink Your Coffee by sabrina_il (marina) - explicit | long | professional dom Pat

we were made to win by heartstrings ★ - explicit | long | attempt at amateur porn | best friends to lovers

Make You Crazy Over My Touch by liveinfury - explicit | long | porn star Jon, fluffer Pat

Candy Kane, podfic by rscreighton - businessman Jon, stripper Pat

Just Another Love Story - explicit | medium | pole boy Pat

Retail

Romance Can Blossom Any Old Time by Celly1995 - mature | long | retail elves Jon and Pat

Sale Agreed by jezziejay - medium | salesman Pat | Jon is in love with his vacuum cleaner

I have Died Everyday by jezziejay - medium | part-time cashiers Jon and Pat | pretend relationship

what i did on my summer vacation by hazel - explicit | medium | summertime emporium cashiers Jon and Pat

the kids are alright - explicit | long | Pat works at a sporting goods store, peewee coach Jonny

Other Services

Baby, You Can Wash My Car or Five Times Jonny Doesn't Get His Car Washed (and One Time He Does) by CoffeeKristin - teen | medium | car wash guy Pat, reg office guy Jon

move the pieces until we fit - explicit | long | supermarket cashier/waiter Pat | angst

Try to Know the Unavoidable Thing - explicit | long | small town waiter Pat

Salon Personnel

Chicago MoHawks ★ - gen | medium | barber!Jonny

Tailor

Provenance by fourfreedoms ★ - mature | medium | vampire tailor Jonny

Tech

Expected Result by hatrickane ★ - mature | medium | software/app guy Pat, client Jonny

had to start somewhere - explicit | medium | video game developer!Pat, millionaire philantropist Jonny | hookups

Teachers

Elementary by Mythisea - explicit | medium | elementary school teacher Jon, community volunteer Pat

22 by aohatsu - teen | medium | teacher Jon | bodyswitching, soulmates

keep buying the stars by medusacascade22 - explicit | medium | high school teacher Jon, student Pat

Like Dropped Puffapod Beans by allthebros - teen | short | (Hogwarts) professors Jon and Pat

Banned by Vitula - teen | medium | explicit | teacher Jonny | they meet in an online forum

so show me family series by livingoutofcases, rightnow - mature | long | kindergarten teacher Pat

the one with the baby yentas series by forochel  - explicit | long | kindergarten teacher Pat

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews by jezziejay ★  - teen | medium | teacher Jon | ft. guest star Derek Jeter |  + bonus timestamp

+

A Story With Intrigue by Frosting50 - 5 imagined times Patrick and Jonny meet (cute) in alternate universes, and one time it happens for real.

For fic inquiries. Rec me fic? Happy reading!