#i actually know why my brain is broken but the problem is that i don't have anything to distract me from it all
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just realised i don't have a hyperfixation atm (and haven't for months) and i think that's why my brain is broken lately
#holly.txt#i need to find something new to watch/get into#i actually know why my brain is broken but the problem is that i don't have anything to distract me from it all#so if anybody has any show recs...... hmu pls xoxo#i need to start watching the bear soon but apart from that.... got nothing
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so, you've heard shows be recommended because they had gay characters. you don't really know what they're actually about though, and don't know if they'd be something you'd be into and are worried about spoilers. here's spoiler free plot summaries of em!
The Owl House
The Owl House starts out as a typical teenage girl goes into a fantasy realm story, but with a twist. Actions have consequences. The protagonist is a girl named Luz Noceda, who was being sent to a camp to make her behave normally by her mother after causing too much trouble at school. She ends up finding a place she's always dreamed of: a fantasy world. A world where everyone's so much weirder than she is. And she thinks, maybe if I don't belong out there, maybe people will like me here. Maybe I can be special here.
It's a story about found family, propaganda, erased history, living with disability, religious trauma, and neurodivergence. It's fundamentally a show about people who's brains work differently finding each other and making a family that treats them right. Definitely my favorite of the ones on this list. It's about people who've been oppressed being pissed about it and about finding yourself again after giving up on everyone around you for so long. It's basically a show about being a minority and trying to be understood and to understand yourself in the process. It's about growing up neurodivergent and how isolating it feels and figuring yourself out. It's about repairing broken relationships and parents who fuck up. And it's just. Such a love letter to anyone who was the weird kid in school. It's sad and heartbreaking and also so hopeful, and it's wonderful.
Content warnings: Abuse, Death, Grief, Animal Death, Suicidal thoughts, Vague suicide attempts, Depression, blink and you'll miss it s/h, body horror, religious trauma
She Ra and the Princesses Of Power
Adora was raised in the Horde since she was a baby, being fed propaganda about how cruel the princesses were. After learning how the horde actually was, though, she defects. But there's one problem. Her best friend, Catra, stays behind. Adora finds a sword that can transform her into She Ra, and might be the key to figuring out who she really is, while Catra takes her place as force captain.
It's a story about abuse, at the end of the day. Adora and Catra were stuck in a golden child and scapegoat dynamic, despite how much they care about each other. This leads to them knowing everything about each other but not understanding it. There's a fundamental disconnect between them, because both of their traumas are completely different. They have complete misconceptions about each other. Even in their initial split, they both have completely different perceptions of what's going on and why the other is upset. It's not a story about magic princesses, it's about the cycle of abuse and what makes it so complicated. Does it have flaws? Yeah. But ultimately I really really enjoy it, and when it does something right it does something RIGHT. Get through season one, it starts kids show-y but it gets very good during later s1.
Content warnings: Abuse (obviously), body horror, gaslighting (and I mean actual gaslighting, not what the Internet thinks gaslighting is), suicide, depression, flashing lights and eyestrain during the finale
Steven Universe
Steven Universe is a sins of the father story. Steven is the son of the leader of the rebel group The Crystal Gems, who's name was Rose Quartz. He navigates the confusion of being half gem and half human, as well as trying to figure out the mess of the rebellion and what his mother left behind. He's constantly in her shadow, for better or for worse.
It's a story about grief. How it impacts relationships, how it taints history, how it impacts family. It has some definite flaws, but ultimately it's about very flawed people who have lost so many people in their life trying to cope with it. Trying to handle what they lost and trying to adjust to life without them. It's about how expectations fuck a kid up and about agency and just a show about complicated relationships in general, at the end of the day. Also, it has some FANTASTIC music.
Content warnings: Grief, Abuse, body horror, very creepy people I don't know how to tag, heavy allegories for homophobia
Nimona
Nimona is a story about a guy who gets framed for murder. His name is Ballister Boldheart, a commoner who hoped to become a knight. It seemed everyone was waiting to watch him fail, so it was no surprise when he was the immediate target. Heavily injured and away from the man he loves, he's left alone trying to figure out a way to prove his innocence- until a strange kid comes into his life. This kids name is Nimona, and while he is intent on proving his innocence, she gave up on being anything but a villain a long time ago.
It's about deconstructing the model minority myth, trans rage, propaganda, and with a healthy dose of "FUCK the police".
Content warnings: Heavy injury, on screen suicide attempt, flashing lights
feel free to add more shows! just remember to keep the summaries as spoiler free as you can and add content warnings!
#show recommendations#movie recommendation#the owl house#toh#owl house#steven universe#shera#she ra#spop#nimona#queer#gay#lesbian#bisexual#trans#transgender#queer shows
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"Look, Steve, I don't have any bad feelings towards you," Eddie says, has been saying, talking nonsense, like he and Steve weren't anything more than fuckbuddies, like he isn't breaking Steve's heart. "I used you too, y'know?"
It's then Steve rears back like he been slapped. Or punched. It feels more like a gutting. Joke's on him, he supposes. Once again, he wants more than the other person. He wanted a boyfriend, Eddie'd wanted sex. Why does he keep trying? When Steve finds his voice to speak, it comes out flat and dead and not really like a question at all. "Used me. Like you think I've used you?"
Eddie shrugs, looking for all the world like he's not bothered by that statement. "We had fun, right? So it's all fine in the end."
"Fine," Steve repeats, hollow. They're in his house but Steve feels the need to leave, to run before the reality of how unlovable he truly is sticks inside him forever.
"But I think we should stop while we're ahead," Eddie continues and Steve wonders if Eddie is listening to him at all, or just saying his piece before he goes. Can he not hear Steve's heart breaking? "I want to... I want to find someone to love."
If Eddie's previous words felt like being gutted, these ones feel like cement. Heavy and solidifying. Trapping in the truth of Ever Unlovable Steve. He doesn't even feel heartbroken anymore. Just numb. Dead inside. He should say something encouraging. Let Eddie know that all he's wanted was for Eddie to be happy and loved. But words seem impossible, so he gives one jerky nod of his head. An understanding.
"Right," Eddie says, returning the nod before turning away, towards the door, "I'll just go now. Umm, see ya later, Harrington."
Facing the horrors of the Upside Down should feel like the scariest thing he's ever done but it doesn't. Watching Eddie walk away does. Steve should be able to hold it together long enough for Eddie to leave. He's the tough one. He can hold himself together no problem-
"Why can't you love me?"
Eddie whips back around, an expression on his face like confusion and anger mixed.
It's only then that Steve realizes he spoke. He hasn't meant to. He was going to let Eddie walk away but now his voice has been freed from the cement. His heart has shut down his brain it seems because he just keeps talking, voice flat and hollow, "why can't you love me the way I love you? What is so broken and wrong within me that no one loves me back? My parents, Nancy, now you. Why can't- I thought that we were- where did I go wrong?"
"What?" Eddie asks, and the anger is gone from his face but now he just looks horrified. Which is understandable. It's horrifying to be loved by Steve Harrington. "What did you think we were?"
Boyfriends. Together. Going steady. At the very least, dating without labels. But none of those very reasonable, normal answers come out of Steve's treacherous mouth. Because Steve can't seem to be a reasonable, normal person. He's got to be too much, too soon, too clingy. So, instead, he says, "In love."
Eddie looks like he's just received the worst news of his life. In fact, he looks a little sick. "Oh fuck. Jesus Christ. I can't- I thought- Fuck!"
Steve just nods along. He hadn't actually said I love you to Nancy that night at Tina's Halloween party, but he imagines if he had, the beginning of the bullshit conversation would have sounded much the same as Eddie does now; like anger and regret, the starts and stops. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- if you want to go, you should go."
Eddie crosses the room back to Steve in half the steps he took when he first walked away, hands reaching to grab Steve's face between them. He speaks quickly and sounds panicked now. "No, no no no. I fucked up, misunderstood. I don't know how I got it so wrong. I don't want to go. I never did."
"What?"
"I am in love with you, sweetheart. I just- I didn't know you loved me back. I thought you didn't- that we weren't..."
"I thought we were boyfriends."
"Jesus, please let me fix this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I'll be the best fucking boyfriend you've ever had."
Steve thinks if he had any shred of self-worth he might step back, make Eddie explain himself, but as it is, he steps into Eddie's space and kisses him, hands pulling him as close as he can get. He doesn't want to think about the cruel things Eddie's said, about using each other. Maybe one day they'll have to hash that out, have that conversation, but Eddie says he loves him too, and that's all Steve's wanted.
#steddie#my fic#angst with a happy ending#or like maybe bittersweet end 'cause of Steve's headspace#i dunno#just a little ficlet as warmup writing#so i thought i'd share
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How would the ddlc ladies react to their partner telling motioning them over, only to be kissed on the forehead and called a good girl?
The ddlc girls' reaction to being kissed and praised
M/n:thanks for requesting someth-
A/n:Monika....what are you doing in my author's note?
M/n:it's been ages since you wrote something about me, I just wanted to thank the anon for requesting
A/n:they didn't request you specifically you know?
M/n:I'm sure they did that to not make the other girls feel bad, I'm definitely their favorite
A/n:just get out this is already too long
M/n:No way, not only do you not write anything about me for so long, but you also forbid me from breaking the fourth wall? That's literally my thing
A/n:Fine, I guess you can stay here when I write ddlc stuff if the readers are fine with it
M/n:hehe, good boy
A/n:...........
M/n:what? It fit with the post
Monika
It's me ˆᵕˆ
What did I tell you?
Is confused at first but just giggles and accepts it
She quickly kisses you back, on the lips this time, and you just start making out passionately
She also praises you back for how well you kissed her
"Hm? What is it darling?"
Before Monika could say anything else, you kiss her on the forehead
"Good girl"
She stands there for a second before a teasing smile appears on her face, and she giggles
"Oh, I see. Well, since I'm such a good girl"
She hugs you closer to her and whispers in your ear seductively
"Then you be good too and give me a real kiss"
She kisses you passionately as you two fall on the bed and wrap your arms around each other while making out
Yuri
Yuri.exe stopped working.......genuinely you might have broken her
She was already blushing when you kissed her, and she went the reddest you had ever seen her when you praised her
When her brain fully processed what you just said and did, she just fainted from emotion
"Is something wrong y/n?"
Yuri blushed as you got close, and her cheeks got even hotter when she felt your lips on her forehead
"Good girl"
Her brain short circuited when she heard you say that, she mumbled an incoherent string of words struggling to come up with a response
"E-eh....w-ha d-did you- just......w-what w-why-"
When she finished, she fell on the bed with an even redder face
"A-are you ok yuri?"
Sayori
She blushes for a bit before thanking you and kissing you on the cheek as thanks
Meanwhile, in her mind, she's processing all that:it actually felt really good when you called her good girl, you helped her discover she might have a thing for being praised
After this, she'll try to do more stuff for you in hopes that she'll get praised for it. It's really adorable
"What's up babe?"
"Oh, nothing, just wanted to do this"
You kissed sayori's forehead and she blushed but still kept her beaming smile
"Good girl"
"E-eh?"
"Oh, sorry do you not like that?"
"N-no......actually I kinda liked it.....a lot"
Sayori started playing with her fingers and blushing more, you giggled and pat her head
"You're such a good girl, you know that?"
"T-thanks"
Natsuki
She kinda ignored you when you first motioned her over, but eventually went where you were
She blushed so much when you kissed her, and when you praised her, she might have considered slapping you
She'll try to act mad at you for giving her unprompted affection, but she easily caved when you hugged her and started to cuddle (she's just a grumpy cat fr)
"*sighs* what is it?"
"Finally!"
"If it was something important, you could have used your words"
"Well, you still came so"
You pressed your lips on her forehead and watched as her face became as pink as her hair
"I guess you're still a good girl"
"W-what did you just call me you idiot?"
"Good girl, is there a problem with that?"
"Y-yeah there is, don't call me like that again dummy"
"I dunno, I think you liked it~"
"S-SHUT UP!"
#doki doki literature club x reader#doki doki literature club#x reader#ddlc x reader#ddlc#monika x reader#monika#ddlc monika#monika ddlc#ddlc monika x reader#monika ddlc x reader#yuri#yuri ddlc#ddlc yuri#yuri x reader#yuri ddlc x reader#ddlc yuri x reader#sayori x reader#sayori#ddlc sayori x reader#ddlc sayori#sayori ddlc#sayori ddlc x reader#natsuki#natsuki x reader#natsuki ddlc#ddlc natsuki#natsuki ddlc x reader#ddlc natsuki x reader#gn reader
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Labyrinth | s.r x gn!reader
summary: You're scared about your feelings for Spencer. Insp by labyrinth from Taylor Swift.
genre: fluffly and hurt/comfort. pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader (I'm a girl so I wrote going on this way, but I think I didn't gave any descriptions abt being one, so it's totally safe for gn!readers <333 if I did, I'm sorry, I didn't notice.) words: 1,3K warnings: family issues, inexperienced!reader, reader never being in a relationship before, insecurity, anxiety, mention of toxic relationships (not between reader and anyone else) notes: hiii, this is my first oneshot so plss be nice 😭✋🏻 im not used to write like this, but I'm so obsessed with Spencer and I had this idea and I couldn't just let go. English it's not my first language, so forgive me if any mistakes or if u guys don't understand smth. not proofread. hope you guys like it !! <3
It only hurts this much right now
Was what I was thinking the whole time
You've never trusted relationships, not that you had experienced any, but what you saw growing up? What you were used to? Didn't make you want to get into one in the first place.
You never denied that you've dreamed about that; finding a true love and a nice, healthy relationship since you saw all your friends living it. That hurted you a little, but you learned how to live with it.
Breathe in, breathe through
Breathe deep, breathe out
I'll be getting over you my whole life
You tried to catch your breath, adjusting it as much as possible. You were used to unlearn the ability of breathing when you were around people who made you nervous, especially if you had a slightly crush on them. Actually, you unlearn every normal thing that humans do when they interact, it's like a part of your brain stops working and refused to turn it on again. He loved to make you embarrassed, especially in front of pretty nerd ish boys.
The first time you met Spencer it consumed all of your brain chemistry. Day and night making fantasies of how it would be meeting the boy again with the help of destiny, falling in love and maybe being obsessed with you the same way you were with him. But you knew that it was just a fantasy and it would never happen, it was just your brain trying to distract you from the real world and your real problems.
It was a nice escape though.
You know how scared I am of elevators
Never trust it if it rises fast
It can't last
Everything happened so fast in your time vision, it terrified you of how easy he was able to get through it. You were always scared of relationships because, yeah, it was nice and easy to fantasy about it, but to actually live it? That scared the shit out of you. All your Inexperience, insecurities and traumas couldn't be fixed from one day to another.
Everything that you learned from your parents was that if you dived in too quickly, it would be a mistake. Not only from your parents, but also from people you were close to, seeing their relationship rise too fast and going effortlessly and awfully down.
You never understood why they keept doing it, sinking into the same situation over and over again, sometimes with the same or a different guy. How they kept being pulled and compelled by it? You didn't understand because you never felt it.
It was so scary how relationships could rise so fast and sink at the same speed.
Uh oh, I'm falling in love
Oh no, I'm falling in love again
Oh, I'm falling in love
You understood why they kept like that in the worst — best— way possible.
When it first hit you that you were falling in love with Spencer felt like a harsh slap in your face, leaving red bruises and a terrible burning in. You didn't want to accept it, it was frightening to actually let it in.
Was getting hard with the passing time, he wasn't getting any easier and neither were his loving and caring acts. I mean, how could someone like him be so.. careful with you? You felt like a broken piece who would never be loved and receive this kinda of treatment, it was starting to confuse you.
You knew he wasn't the type of person who liked being touched or touching other ones, but with you? Every possibility of being close to you, hugging you, touching your hand and giving a sweet cuddle in that same spot was driving you insane. He made sure that any free time he had, he spent with you. Or even at work, in his free time that he used to call you.
Reid talked to you about his mom and his abandonment issues with his father so openly that made you open yourself with him too. You didn't want to scare him telling him about your family situation or make him think you're a weird, problematic person, but you couldn't let him vent to you and not say a thing. He hasn't change with you. In fact, it only bought you both closer.
You ended up accepting what you felt for him, you didn't want to fight against it, deep down was a comfort feeling. For the first time you felt what everyone around you always talked about. And oh god, it really was an amazing feeling. But no, you would never tell him that. The thought of how this could end so fast after telling him that because probably it wasn't reciprocal, hurted you so bad that keeping it to yourself was the best decision you could make.
I thought the plane was going down
How'd you turn it right around
“Why are you looking at me like that?” His voice called you off of your own thoughts, his Cheshire Cat smile growing as he saw your face turning into a shade of burgundy.
“Like what?” You asked.
“Like a deer lost in the headlights.” He snorted a laugh.
“What?! I'm not-“
He interrupted you, getting up from the chair where he was lost doing his usual puzzles. Spencer walked over to you, resting one of his hands on your face while the other one brushed away a few strands of hair that fell into your eyes. You automatically snuggled your face between Spencer's hands, smirking and closing your eyes, enjoying the gentle caress his fingers made on your cheeks.
“Tell me, please.” He begged you, you could easily hear the smile into his words. He was always so polite, it made you want to scream into a pillow and kick your feets in the air.
You sighed, tired to hide how you felt.
“Honestly? About you. I think I already fell for you.”
It only feels this raw right now
Lost in the labyrinth of my mind
You were scared of his reaction, to look at him and see his eyes falling in pity for you; About him suddenly telling you to go home because he didn't felt the same and saying that this wouldn't work between you two. But to be honest, you couldn't hide anymore, not for him and not for yourself. You needed to break free from this labyrinth you created on your mind, there's no way you could keep up with this and stay cool like it didn't made your chest burn everytime you looked at him.
He surprised you by just laughing softly.
Break up, break free, break through, break down
You would break your back to make me break a smile
“Well, i’m pretty sure i am terriefiedly in love with you.”
You swore that if this was a joke you would combust and turn into a million pieces of yourself, no one would ever find you again.
Your eyes caught up at his sparkling hazel irises that conveyed how much he begged for the same answer. You always felt something carving like a dagger inside your chest when he looked at you like that, like you could break him with any wrong do.
It was absolutely terrifying how easy he broke you to this, to this situation where you could never lie and deny that you felt the exactly same for him. You were head over heels for him. Not in a million of worlds you could imagine that Spencer Reid felt the same thing you did for him, but you were also pretty sure that you were the one who would end up with the heart completely shattered if this ever come to an end.
“I love you so much, Spence.” You said, and then his lips parted open and you were able to feel his sweet taste coming into yours.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spenced feid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x gn reader#spencer reid x fem!reader
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Nothing sours me on a crunchy game faster than when the GM is expected to patch over rules and balance problems.
I understand the appeal of designing the game with a fast and loose approach, knowing that everything ultimately has to pass through a human brain that can make adjustments and judgments. But for me this comes back to the question: why am I playing a crunchy game in the first place?
For me, one of the big reasons is that crunchy games facilitate paraplay. By paraplay I mean the play-around-play, the parts of playing a game that happen outside of running the actual session. (I've also heard this called "lonely fun" but I don't like that term, because very often there are big communities for this, and it isn't really lonely at all.)
Most of my social hobbies have some form of this. Wargames have building and painting and buying miniatures, multiplayer videogames have streams to watch and builds to learn, card games have deck building and tuning, etc.
For GMs, almost every game has paraplay, since prep can be a form of this. But for players, crunchy games give them something to do away from the table. Theory-crafting communities, fiddling with character builds, browsing lists of spells and feats, all these things give engaged players a way to engage with the game even when they're not at the table. There are a lot of players for whom this is a lot of fun!
Except…
If the game doesn't actually have balance, if it allows things to just be broken and require the GM to patch them, then these players will bring the product of their paraplay to the table and be told "no, that doesn't work, actually" and then find out that they weren't actually having fun during their paraplay. They were just wasting their time. They'll disconnect from that side of the game (if they don't disconnect from the game entirely), and then you're saddled with a bunch of rules and mechanics that aren't producing what is, from my perspective, one of the primary payoffs. Not to mention cultivating a resentment not between the player and the game, but between the player and the GM who ruined their paraplay fun.
I got no use for that.
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My brain was just begging me to draw Leo's breakdown from Chapter 18 of The Aftermath (@starrcrossrose), so I did!
(I'm gonna ramble a bit about how much I love this fic, so putting that below the cut!)
The whole situation they've found themselves in these past couple chapters is rough and messy and heartbreaking, and I love how it also makes perfect sense! Mikey's anger finally boiling over at Leo's words, Leo's panic/PTSD episode at being attacked, everyone wanting to help, knowing they may be pushing too far, but also just being so frustrated and wanting to understand. It's like they're trying to rip the band-aid off and deal with the problem, not realizing that the wound underneath is so bad it basically starts hemorrhaging.
There's a bit of a tragic misunderstanding between what they all think is going on in Leo's head, and what he's actually thinking.
He just wants to know why. Doesn’t he know what they gave? Doesn’t he know what Mikey gave?! According to Draxum, opening that portal had taken some of Mikey’s vitality; his life. Draxum figured that Mikey had lost a couple years, at least, and that even if his hands healed… there would be other consequences down the road if he continued to push his mystic powers further than he should at this age and without proper training.
Mikey was lucky, which made Leo lucky. Why couldn’t he just understand that?
But Leo’s expression is broken and angry, a well of shadow that Donnie had never seen in him before as he spat, “You should’ve just let me die.”
Donnie (and the others as well, I'm sure) don't understand why Leo doesn't comprehend what they gave, and what they'd be willing to give, to get him back. They don't understand why he'd be willing to throw his life away so easily, and assume he must not appreciate that sacrifice... But, that's the problem: Leo does know what they're willing to give. And he believes he's not worth it.
It's been so interesting diving into everyone's mental state following the events of the movie, and I think The Aftermath does an incredible job of that! I love when the same events are repeated in multiple different POVs, since each character really is experiencing something so different at the exact same time. This was one of the first fics I found after getting into Rise, and it remains one of my favorites. Looking forward to seeing where things go from here!
Also, here's the color-coded version too, because why not?
I generally start out my drawings that way, since it helps me differentiate between the characters. I think it looks kind of neat, so might as well include it here too!
(This is either before April, Casey, and Splinter join in the hug, or after they left... because I'm not great at drawing those guys yet!)
#rottmnt#the aftermath#the aftermath fic#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#art#fanart#my art#leonardo hamato#leo#rise leo#raphael hamato#raph#rise raph#donatello hamato#donnie#rise donnie#michaelangelo hamato#mikey#rise mikey#leonardo#donatello#raphael#michaelangelo#fic#ao3#tmnt#maybe one of these days I'll figure out how to tag my own stuff less awkwardly than just listing variations of everybody's names#but today is not that day#alt text
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Just One More
I love your SaSi fics! Might I request some touch-starved analogical? No pressure tho! *disappears in a poof of smoke, leaving a plate of cookies for you* – amateurmasksmith
hello! i'd hate to be a bother but i love your writing so much and would love to see some more logan hurt/comfort? Any type works but there isn't enough highschool au!Logan overworking himself and the others not noticing until he's completely burnt out and realising that Logan is a lot more damaged than they thought in my opinion <3- anon
Read on Ao3
Warnings: overworking, burn out
Pairings: analogical
Word Count: 2377
Just one more. Just one more. Just one more.
It's been just one more for the past hour and a half, but that's beside the point. If he thinks about how much he still has to do, he'll get so overwhelmed he can't do anything but stare at the mountains of work piling up in front of him. But if he thinks about it as just one more, then he can do just one more. And he'll do it over and over and over again until there aren't any one mores to be just.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. He's getting lyrical again. Anytime he starts to wax poetic he knows Roman's overworking tendencies are rubbing off on him again.
Now, that's not to say that Roman always overworks, it's just that out of their friend group, one of them has this habit of pulling all-nighters and downing coffee as though it could replace the blood in his veins if he tried hard enough, and one of them has a color coded schedule that marks out just how much he can get away with before he has to take a break to drink water, eat food, or recover some semblance of sanity before he loses it to equations and spreadsheets beyond number. Said schedule might have been, ahem, put off for a little bit too long in order to allow for such repeated actions as just one more, but that's beside the point. Beside several points, actually, and he'd rather not think about it right now when he should be focusing on the just one mores.
His pen scribbles down the answer and without blinking, he picks up the page and flips it over so he can start working on the next problem. He's already broken down the respective equations by the time his brain catches up to the fact that this is not, in fact, just one more.
Just one more.
What time is it? He doesn't know. He doesn't particularly care. He has work to do, that's far more important. Besides, it's not as though he'll suffer egregiously if he works a little later than he's supposed to. He's the one who allocates his time, if he has an issue with how he's spending it, he'll take it up with himself later. After this one. After this next one. Just one more.
He blinks. Oh, his eyes were closed. That's annoying. How is he supposed to work with his eyes closed? His gives his head a good shake and promptly cries out from the pain. That's bizarre, when did his headache get so bad? He's supposed to drink water every fifteen minutes to keep his fluid intake constant, and that helps keep the headaches at bay. He reaches out blindly for the water bottle and gropes thin air. That's weird. His water bottle should be right there. He turns his head to look—
He cries out in pain again. That's not right. Why is his neck so sore? He's supposed to take breaks to look around to make sure his muscles don't get too stiff from staring at the same place all day. Come to think of it, he's also supposed to be doing his eye relaxation too to make sure he doesn't focus in too hard and risk losing his peripheral vision. Granted, that is more common in fields where attention to fine detail is much more common, but it can't hurt to be cautious. In this case, it's hurting him not to be cautious. Perhaps he's focused in too deep…missed the forest for the trees…and now it's hard to see…isn't it a challenge to be free?
Now he's rhyming.
What time is it?
His hand flops uselessly down to the side. It's burning. Is it burning? No, pins and needles, that's the term. That's the term for when his circulation isn't making it all the way to the end of his fingers, why is that? How can that be? It hasn't been that long, has it? He has work to do, he can't have been so careless with his time that he's forgotten he has work to do? No, he'll rally himself to do just one more.
Just one more.
His hand clatters uselessly against the desk.
Just one more.
His notebook slides off into his lap and splays out on the floor like a corpse.
Just one more.
His eyes slide shut.
Just one more.
He falls forward.
Just one more.
He hits the desk and something is—is—
Just one more.
***
Alright, Virgil's getting nervous.
Not that it's a wild thing for Virgil to get nervous, but it is wild that it's Logan that's making him nervous. Logan's like the beacon of work-life balance, which is why it's fucking weird that Logan of all people isn't here, at breakfast, like they planned last week and confirmed literally every day up until yesterday. Yeah. That's weird. Logan's not here and he's almost a full hour late and Virgil is getting pretty fucking nervous about it.
The clock keeps ticking. And ticking. And ticking.
When it ticks over to yep, Logan's officially a full hour late, Virgil muffles a curse and gets up, stuffing his hands in his pockets. The wind billows around his hood as he hurries across the street, ducking cars and avoiding other people walking around as the sun gets higher and higher and higher. Logan's street isn't far from here, just a few blocks over. His fingers itch at the sound of many passing conversations but he squeezes his hands shut.
No time for music, not right now. Not when he's on a mission.
Logan should've texted if he was running late. Logan always texts when he's running late. And the fact that he hasn't texted saying he's running late means that something is wrong with Logan or something's wrong with Virgil's phone. And given that their group chat has been blowing up all morning as Roman and Janus argue about some video game franchise and who's hotter and who's overrated means that Virgil's phone is working just fine.
So something's wrong with Logan. Which is making Virgil really fucking nervous.
He doesn't even realize his feet have carried him all the way up the stairs to Logan's house until his hand is raised to knock on the door. He does, shuffling a few paces back and waiting until the footsteps on the other side get closer.
"Oh, Virgil," Logan's mom says as she opens the door, "it's good to see you, honey. Are you and Logan still going out for breakfast?"
"Yes, uh, yes, ma'am. I think so, at least."
"You don't need to call me ma'am, honey, you can come in." She waves him inside, smiling kindly when he mumbles something along the lines of I want to 'cause you're always so nice to me, and turns up the stairs. "Logan! Logan, sweetheart, Virgil's here!"
No response. Yep, getting real nervous.
"Do you want to go up, honey? He'll react better if it's you getting him than me."
"Is—is everything okay?"
She looks at him for a moment, her mouth twisting from side to side, before she sighs. "Honestly, I think you've got a better chance of dragging him out of there than I do. He's very reasonable, isn't he? Always coming up with the perfect explanation for what he's doing."
"Uh huh."
"Which is why I think you've got a better chance of just dragging him out to go to breakfast, hm?" She winks as Virgil splutters slightly. "I'm only teasing you, honey. But on a serious note: please, if you can get him out of the house just for a little, I think some fresh air would do him good."
"I'll do my best, ma'am."
"That's a good boy. Go on, now."
Virgil quickly makes his way up the stairs, down the hall, right to Logan's door. Remus made them all signs for their rooms that indicate whether or not they're cool with having people come knock on their doors and for the most part, everyone's parents and siblings have respected them. Logan's has four different markers: Out, In – Disturbable, In – Not Disturbable, and Asleep. The pin is still listed next to Out.
Yep. Yep, yep, yep. All signs lead to being real nervous.
He knocks on the door. "Logan? Hey, L, it's, uh, it's Virgil."
Nothing.
"You, um, you didn't text saying you were late or anything, so I, uh, I got worried."
Still nothing.
"Logan? Logan, I need some sort of sign of life, buddy, or else I'm gonna come in."
When there's yet another round of nothing, he grits his teeth and carefully opens the door, preparing to meet an angry Logan who was just about to text you, Virgil, there wasn't any need for this, or a sleepy Logan who accidentally overslept—it happens, it might have only happened, like, once, but it is possible—or even a Logan who's just about to put his coat on and rush out, but…
But not the Logan who's passed out on his desk, his glasses still on his face and his notebook on the floor.
"Holy shit," Virgil mumbles, rushing over, "Logan? Logan, are you okay?"
He carefully lifts up Logan's arm to get his glasses off his face, wincing at the puddle of drool. The movement makes this high-pitched noise happen and he only belatedly realizes that's Logan making that noise—Logan's still asleep, somehow, but he's—oh, god, Logan's in pain.
"Hey, L," he calls quietly, giving Logan's shoulder a gentle shake, "hey, you gotta wake up, buddy, it's just me, okay? C'mon…"
"V-Virgil?"
"Hey, yeah, you got it, it's me—" he crouches down so Logan can see him— "hey, there he is."
Logan blinks. He's all bleary-eyed and sleep-mussed, his hair sticking up in the wrong places and a crease from where he'd been leaning against his shirt. He blinks a few more times, wincing at the sunlight slanting in through the window, before he cringes and brings a hand to his neck.
"Whoa, hey, what's going on?"
"Hurts."
"What hurts, bud?"
"My head," he whimpers, fuck, okay, Logan's really not okay, "my head hurts."
"Okay. I'm gonna go get you some water, okay? Can I go and do that?"
"Don't leave—wait, please—" a hand grabs his arm as he goes to pull away and Logan lets out another frightened noise— "it's so cold. You're so warm."
"I'm—I'm the warm one? Whoa, hey, hey, hey, I didn't mean it like that," he says, softening his tone when Logan shrinks back, "I just meant that—you know, I run cold as hell and you're…"
He trails off when he sees the tears bubbling at the corners of Logan's eyes. He comes back immediately, going to wrap his arms around Logan's shaking shoulders, muffling a curse when Logan just starts crying harder.
"Hey, hey, buddy, hey, it's okay. I'm right here, I'm not gonna go anywhere, I'm right here. I've got you, you're okay. You're all good, buddy, you hear me? Everything's gonna be okay, you're gonna get all of this out for me, I'm gonna go get you some water and painkillers for your headache, and then we're gonna go get breakfast and have a good day, yeah?"
"I'm sorry—I'm so sorry—"
"Hey, don't worry about it. You know how many times I've been late or missed something? I don't care about that, L, I care about you being okay." He runs his fingers through Logan's hair and Logan shudders. "You…you seem really sensitive right now, bud, have you…have you been dodging Patton's hugs again?"
Logan's silence is telling. Virgil sighs, his breath warming the top of his head, before he pulls away just enough to hook his arms around Logan's waist.
"C'mon," he grunts, lifting Logan up—yes, he is still strong enough to do that, thank you very much, Princey—and carrying him over to the bed, "you need a good cuddle before we go anywhere."
"So much—I had so much work to do, I hadda—I had to finish it, I'm sorry," Logan babbles into Virgil's shoulder as he situates them on the bed, "I didn't—didn't wanna be late, didn't mean to fall asleep, I—"
"Shh, shh, hey, calm down, it's okay. I'm not mad. You're okay, bud, I'm not gonna do anything." He coaxes Logan's head to the crook of his beck. "You're just gonna get some of this out for me, okay? I've got you, you're okay."
"But I gotta do my work!"
"You gotta not let yourself be a wreck first," Virgil points out, not unkindly, "you're stressing yourself out too much and it's gonna be okay, but you gotta—sheesh, Logan, just lemme cuddle you."
"…okay."
It doesn't matter that they end up going to brunch instead of breakfast, not when Logan's finally smiling again. A little sniffly, maybe, but he's at least smiling and his mom ruffles their hair and tells them to order whatever they want—she'll pay them back. No, it's much better because Logan isn't stressing too much about work but instead he's happy and letting Virgil take them on a long walk around the park until they can meet up with the rest of them and Patton can give him a big hug because letting yourself get touch-starved just so you can do your work isn't healthy, Logan. And then of course everyone else wants to hug Logan because Logan's just so huggable.
"Aw, just one more," Remus pouts when Logan says they're all hugging him too much, "just one more?"
Logan looks at Remus, looks at the rest of them, and rolls his eyes fondly as he holds out his arms.
"Just one more."
General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508
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I don't know why this popped into my head again prolly cuz I have sick brain but
The episode where rapunzal becomes queen for a day and the episode after that where she's really indecisive were so good
Like the fact that she kept saying I never break my promises always bothered me because who is she making promises to her who life? Her pet chameleon??? Ofc she's never broken a promise it'd probably be harder to break ur promise than to keep it if the person ur making promises to is literally a reptile
And then she has to break a promise for the first time. And yeah it's justified cuz she has to look after her people but it breaks her so much that she broke that promise. That she betrayed the trust of one of her friends. This was one of the first times when rapunzal began to realise how complicated life is and how you can hurt good people kind of intentionally no matter how good ur reasons are.
The fact that the episode after it first off she's so traumatised from having to make so many major decisions that actually have real world consequences plus dealing with the fact that no matter what decision she would have made someone would have gotten hurt either way so she joins a cult that makes all her decisions for her but then her indecisiveness almost leads to bringing the worst demon ever back to life, the same demon that caused the major problem in the previous episode thus forcing her to realise that even if she makes difficult decisions like that again being indecisive is infinitely worse than choosing cuz even if u choose to not choose in the end that's still sort of choosing and if u just let things happen its worse than when u decide cuz when u decide things at least u can choose the best choice you can make which will actually make a difference whereas just doing nothing is just you allowing the bad things to happen.
(Im just now realised that this is exactly what's happening in American elections rt now with the left deciding not to vote cuz what's the point and not realising that not voting makes the outcome worse than they could possibly imagine)
But then when Varian shows up again and she tries to apologise and realises that even though her decision was justified that doesn't erase the fact that he has to now face the consequences of that decision because of her and just cuz she apologized doesn't mean he has to forgive her
Seriously there are so many good lessons in this show and I NEED more people to watch it
#rapunzel#rapunzles tangled adventure#the amount of posts i could make about this show is a lot#but this is as much as i can say rt now#cuz im about to pass out#dont forget to vote
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ICING ON THE CAKE
LEVIATHAN.
+ warnings: implicit suggestive themes, light angst, strong language.
+ female mc, feminine pronouns.
Is cold sugar a thing?
Some souls are like iced sugar. No objective, sane person would ever say—or so much as think, for that matter—that this man is sweet.
‘How the fuck could he be?’
That’s what they would wonder.
And they were right in that.
There are times, however, when a cold shoulder summons a sugar rush. Playing hard-to-get can be a cool game. Except, this man wasn’t doing that. That coldness, that scorn, it was crafted from something bitter.
A dark past.
Did they know? That he, too, had once upon a time been an innocent child—a pretty, clueless creature holding its bloated heart with small hands, showing everyone its tears.
Very early. He had gotten corrupted by life much too early. That’s why he had become so icy.
Actually...he could be sweet as well, in a sense.
She remembered the jewel in her wet palm. Its sparkle was once dimmed with his blood. He had risked his soul to keep a promise, to protect a gem.
Warmth is something he did possess.
But to believe he would not die, to have faith that he could not be killed...
How so very arrogant of him.
Then again, is childhood's darkness not to blame? Had it not told him that he would always survive? Had it not whispered temptations of immortality in his ears and promised him that he would never die?
Beauty makes some people feel like their head is underwater. It cuts out everything else in the brain for a minute. Snide beauty, on the other hand, it has even greater charms still.
The coldness is just icing on the cake.
Being beautiful is marvellous, but being unapproachable makes it even better, that much greater.
Lovely faces bring about good deals. Ethereal existences often tend to get away with many things. Molten hearts. Broken brains. Filthy souls. Violent murder.
It would be too boring if beautiful kings were easy to have. Enchanting someone like him and bringing him to his knees, why should it even be a piece of cake?
Forget the pleasure of a challenge.
He was a rare, most alluring specimen. He should be very difficult—near impossible—to reach. Taking hold of his fingertips alone should be treacherous.
One has to try hard to get even the most simple of things, so why should luring him in be easy?
Excited for the wait, burning for the process, desperate for the result.
So ironic, so fun.
Winning him over would not merely be a magical experience, but an ultimate, legendary accomplishment; she would try until his tongue on her lips marked them forever, until his sweat on her body shimmered like stardust.
Oh, but he already wanted her. Lust and attraction just turned into problem killers. Apparently, she wouldn’t have to wait that long, or even try that much.
+notes: the time for the last of my surviving ‘What in “Hell” is Bad?’ WIPs to take the stage has come. I don't quite know what I had in mind for this one, to be honest; it's been there for so long and has been really bothering me with its static presence for a while. And seeing that I had no clue about the direction it's meant to take, I finally decided to polish it a little, toss some word-vomit in, and simply put it up as is. It was either that or it's dead. I chose to salvage it, I guess. I thought it had potential and didn't want it to bid the world goodbye, yet I didn't know how I felt about it at first, though, and I'm too lazy and tired to find out—so it's whatever, I suppose lol but I think I like it. I'm just glad to have it off my hands and out of my notes because it was genuinely pricking my nerves :S
There are still a few more ‘What in “Hell” is Bad?’ WIPs each is only 1 line/2 lines long lol that I long ago scratched out of the equation, and those are annoying me very much too. I may either kill them off with regret (for some) and cold blood (for others), or post them someday soon/with time, but that's very unlikely. For now, however, I do not plan on writing anything new about the game's devils/angels—meaning unless I explicitly state in the notes within a ‘What in “Hell” is Bad?’ piece that an idea is new/recent, it's one of my old, buried WIPs revived and made into a finished fic.
[spoiler] also, this fic holds light inspiration from Leviathan's 'Bloodshed' story, particularly from the part in which Leviathan gives MC the magical jewel and it's implied that he got wounded so as to protect the jewel and keep his promise of gifting it to MC.
+ MASTERLIST
+ AO3 POST
©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨
#what in “hell” is bad#what in hell is bad#whb#whb leviathan#leviathan whb#what in hell is bad leviathan#leviathan what in hell is bad#the story factory
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"Husky!!!!!!" Angel shouted as he stormed into the lobby of the hotel.
Spitting his drink in surprise, Husk wiped his mouth and turned around to see an angry spider marching towards him, a little piglet trotting just behind. Husk had been guzzling down more alcohol, sitting on a couch as he read a newspaper, a part of his routine in life that he had kept doing now that he was in hell, but the quiet was broken and his paper was drenched.
"The f**k do you want? I swear, I can't do anything in peace with you around." He grumbled back as he put the sopping wet mess on the coffee table.
Angel ignored the jab and shoved something colorful in the cat's face, "The f**k is this?"
It took a moment to register in Husk's brain what Angel was holding, ". . . It's a pan pride flag?"
"So, you do know what it is! I was half-hoping maybe you were just so old timey that you had it not knowing what it meant." Angel said in a strangely accusatory tone.
"Wait, did you get this from my room? What the hell were you doing in there?" Husk snatched the flag from his hands.
"Don't change the subject! Are you pansexual or aintcha?" Angel crossed one set of arms, and placed one hand on his hip as he dramatically pointed at him with the other.
Husk blushed a little; his sexuality wasn't exactly something he went around shouting to the world. He hadn't been in a relationship for a long time and he wasn't planning on entering one any time soon, so it really was no one's business. Honestly, he forgot he even had the flag. It was just something marked down in July, after pride month had passed, and he grabbed it as just a little something for himself. He was the only one he planned to let see it, just as a reminder that he was okay to be whoever he was and like whomever he wanted; something he was never allowed in life.
" . . . I don't gotta answer that. What's it to ya anyway? I didn't exactly take you to be a 'super straight'?" He mumbled as he used air quotes.
"That's exactly the problem!!!" Angel slumped over exasperated.
Husk didn't really get it, but he was absolutely done with whatever it was, so he stood up and jabbed a finger at the spider, "Look, I don't know what the f**k you're freaking out about Legs, it's got nothin' to do with you!"
Angel shifted his weight where he stood, "Well, you're right but I still wanna know!"
"Why the hell does it matter to you?" Husk stood up, glaring.
"I-I'm just curious is all. . ." Angel blushed a bit.
"Yeah, well, you can shove your curiosity up your *ss." He pushed.
"Why, you don't trust me or somethin?" Angel stood his ground.
"No, why the f**k would I?!" Husk raised his voice.
"Hey, what is your problem?!" Angel raised his back.
"I don't need to be judged by a drug addict pole dancer." He shoved.
"Oh wow, real mature. I'll have you know that pole dancing is an under-appreciated art." Angel defended.
"Well, I'm sure it's very appreciated by those freaks out there who drool all over you." He rolled his eyes.
"All this over a little flag and a simple yes or no question. Acting out like a scared little boy." Angel leaned down to glare at back at him.
Husk expected Angel to be happy. He expected a smug look on his face and maybe a 'see was that so hard?'. And Angel was happy for a moment, but then he looked sad. Then his face soured, and suddenly he was angry again all over again.
"Fine! I'm pan! I'm pansexual! I hate the stupid gender binary and I like people based on their personality. Ya happy now?!" He shouted.
"YOU MEAN I HAD A CHANCE THIS WHOLE TIME?!?!?!" Angel looked actually furious now.
". . . The f**k. . .?" Husk was very, very confused.
Angel took a few steps towards him and he took a couple steps back, "You mean to tell me that I've been throwing myself at you, half-jokingly, for so long . . ."
"Half-?" Husk started.
"I've teased you, I've pranked you, and strutted around you like a fool . . ." Angel pushed him down onto the couch, and blocked him in with all his arms, "And you weren't f**king straight?!?!"
". . . Look, I don't know what you're getting at, but-" Husk started.
"And you've just stared at me, like unflinching! So I figured, 'aw well, guess he's straight, may as well flirt with him, and see if I can't make him uncomfortable'. I've straight up told you how I pride myself on having great f**king gaydar! But then I get it wrong with you of all people?!" Angel turned around, covering his face with his top arms, "Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?!"
Angel was still covering his face, honestly unsure of what he had said in all of his rambling. He just wanted to crawl into his bed and die. Gentle hands curled around his wrists, and he didn't resist as they pulled his hands from his face.
Husk sat with his jaw agape for a moment, processing. He sighed, grabbing one of Angel's lower arms,"Sit your tall *ss down." and pulled him onto the couch, turning in his seat to face him.
" . . . Angel, would you open your eyes please?" Husk's voice was a quiet, sarcastic, but soothing tone.
"No, I feel humiliated enough. I don't need you to mock me right now." Angel said, covering his face again.
Husk chuckled and moved Angel's hands away again, "I'm not going to mock you, Legs."
"You're not going to wear your dumb, smug face, and tell me how you, a person who is attracted to people based on personality, could never like me, a self-absorbed idiot?" Angel rambled.
Husk snickered, "No, never that. Come on, Legs. Please?"
Angel slowly opened his eyes to see a warmest smile from Hell's grumpiest cat, "See? There you are."
Angel blushed and looked away, but Husk turned his chin back to him, "You think you can say all that and not face the consequences."
"C-consequences?" Angel stammered, blushing harder.
Husk blushed, "I mean, we have drinks together all the time, so I guess that's kind of stupid, but uh-"
Husk leaned back and sighed, scratching the back of his head, "Listen, I haven't - . . . I mean I don't- . . . Well, you know how- . . ." He sighed again, "I'm not very good at telling people how I feel, but uh. . . If you wanted to ever . . . We could have a drink sometime . . .?"
He was suddenly clobbered by a massive spider and fell backwards, "Yes! Yes, of course! That sounds great!"
They both laughed there for a moment, Angel on top of him, "What a f**kin' dumb*ss way to figure out we were crushin' on each other, huh?"
Husk chuckled at that, "I feel like it's mostly my fault. You were flirting with me constantly."
"Wellllll, I will admit I do flirt with lots of men. I guess," Angel sighed into his fur, "I just really meant it with you."
Again, they giggled together like little middle school lovers; giddy and drunk on reciprocated feelings, high on finally being understood.
Husk smiled as his face flushed, "Aren't we a pair?"
Angel started to get up when he realized that he was currently on top of a man who just asked him out.
He grinned a mischievous grin, "You know~" he held himself up with his lower hands adjusted his hair and loosened Husk's tie with the others, "We could-"
"Absolutely not." Husk said flatly.
Angel sat up, letting Husk do the same, but still pouted, "But why not? We like each other and . . ." He leaned in, resting his hands on Husk's legs, "I'm sure you're dying to know what you've been missing out on."
Husk was still just staring blankly, but now Angel started noticing things he hadn't noticed before, because he was so sure it was impossible. The slight flush of his cheeks, the dry swallow of his throat, the sweatiness of his palms as he gently pushed Angel away from him.
"I may be pan, but I'm still old fashioned." Husk stood up, picking up his wet newspaper to throw away, "Another time, babe."
Angel watched him leave, and it wasn't until he was sure he was fully out of range that he whispered to nugs, "Did he just say, another time? Did he just call me 'babe'?!"
Nifty would had run over and scolded him for it, but she was still kneeling behind the couch with her broom and dustpan frozen in place as she had been the entire time, accidentally stuck there eavesdropping.
Husk, once he was sure he was out of ear shot, grumbled to himself, "Babe. Babe?! Could I have said anything more lame?" He kicked over a trash bin.
Thanks for reading some HuskerDust. Sorry, it was self-edited / self-betad. If it's bad, you can blame that, or that I'm not used to writing these characters, or that I'm publishing it from my phone, or that the stars weren't aligned or whatever. Thanks for always supporting me and my writing!
". . .The f**k was that?"
#HuskerDust#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust#hazbinhotel#hazbin hotel#angel dust hazbin hotel#angel dust x husk#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin husk#pansexual#fanficromance#feels#romance#gayromance#gayfanfic#fanfiction#helluvaboss#huskerdust#hazbin angel dust#hazbin#hazbin art#hazbin hotel fanart
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my disability post is blowing up again so let me tell you the funniest things that have happened to me while being disabled or using various mobility aids. feel free to add your own btw
when getting discharged from the hospital for surgery, i was "taught" how to use crutches for less than three minutes. i checked the timestamps between discord messages. it cost hundreds of dollars btw
my high school's one and only wheelchair ramp into the auditorium was too steep to be used by a wheelchair even with the help of a handrail. instead of doing anything about this, the staff made it a point of personal pride to wheel me up despite me asking them not to for every. single. assembly. disability inclusion <3
getting recognized as a regular by the receptionists at the hospital was. a little embarrassing.
shoutout to one physical therapist in particular who realized i had a tremor and then decided to exacerbate it for. uhhhh. she didn't even say why. she just wanted to see why. anyway it set me back like four months
some sidewalks were just UNUSABLE (bumpiness, width, debris). like it was literally safer to be in the ROAD in my wheelchair then some fucking sidewalks.
after i had just gotten out of said wheelchair and used the elevator, i took too long going through the elevator doors and the doors decided to crush me. thank you elevator, very cool!
i was seen by several doctors who did not know what my condition was despite me putting it on every single patient form and sending pdfs of my diagnoses and symptoms in advance of every appointment
remember that surgery i mentioned? so it turns out there was not a problem with the affected joint. it was just hypermobile. that is a twenty minute test. they did not think to test me for hypermobility. before doing surgery on me. anyway i have generalized hypermobility and that ankle is now the worst joint in my entire body
almost got sent to truancy court despite every absence having an excuse note from an ER clinic or a neurologist checking me for. like. literal actual brain cancer. STAT orders and all.
speaking of my high school, it took seven minutes to get between two of my classes in high school because there was one elevator, located in the center of the building, and these classes were right on the left end of the building. when i was able to walk the route, it took under two minutes. this happened a lot, actually.
doctors: you needs this medication. if you want to stay out of the er you are going to take it. some guy named frank in insurance who hasnt even looked at the file: nah u really dont :/
also thing that seems obvious but you don't realize it until you're in that situation: if the elevator is broken and you cannot walk stairs or if the disabled door will not open with the button press and you can't open it yourself, you are just Stuck there. enjoy!
waited a year for a specialist appointment that lasted twenty minutes and got told nobody had done the research into what i had even though this doctor had seen dozens of cases exactly like mine. boo womp
remember that hypermobility i mentioned? it was actually picked up by a physical therapist in our first session. she did not mention it until i asked her about the possibility of being hypermobile four months later. she "thought i knew already".
"maybe it's just school anxiety," says the doctor while looking at my sitting heart rate of 150 bpm, "are you anxious about going to school?"
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billy loomis / stu macher x reader with autism? tysm! and if you can’t do it no worries ^^
(Autism gang, let's go! Also, I added Danny for my own enjoyment, forgive me.)
✦Ghostfaces With a S/O That's Autistic✦
✦Content; No warnings that I can think of, fluff, GN!Reader with nothing specified physically✦ ✦Stu; He/Him, Billy; He/Him, Danny; He/They✦
✧Stu Macher✧
I'm fairly certain Stu is neurodivergent, ADHD specifically. You look at this man and tell me he has a neurotypical brain, I dare you. Yeah, no, you can't.
Now given this is 1995-1996, the concept of people having ADHD & Autism wasn't super accepted. Honestly, people treated it like a devastating blow most of the time. (Sadly, not a whole lot has changed) I imagine Stu doesn't really understand what being neurodivergent really means. Like, he knows what autism is, but he's got a bit of a warped view of what it means for you. You can blame media for the majority of it, but don't worry! He's not gonna go Anti-Vax Mom™ on yo ass.
He'll actually listen to you, even if he doesn't fully understand. You'll have to break it to him that Autism isn't a life-destroying thing. It just means you process things a bit differently, have sensitivities, etc. He'll grab the concept pretty quickly.
When you explain stuff like sensory processing issues, he'll actually relate really hard. Stu's lived his whole life thinking he was just weird for his reactions to certain stimuli, but when you describe your own experiences, it makes him question.
Bringing up that he might have ADHD won't make him want to get tested, he doesn't see a need, it won't change anything about him and he's not huge on the idea of medications. But, he will ask you more questions. Autism & ADHD are different but they do have a decent amount of overlap and you know more than he does so he trusts your judgment.
"Wait is that why I feel like I wanna tear my skin off when I feel velvet?! ...YOU MEAN NOT EVERYONE HEARS ELECTRICITY? IT'S JUST US?!"
Mans has an epiphany every five seconds while you're talking.
When it comes to him helping you, he tries his best, but he's spacey and forgets certain things. Still, he does his best to keep it all in mind. If he knows there's one food you absolutely can't stand, he'll keep it off your plate. Even if it means scraping it all onto his own and making a mess.
Is there a sound that makes it feel like your head's about to explode? He'll cover your ears, put his head on your head/shoulder and hum something.
Sometimes, if you two share a sensitivity, he'll loudly express his hatred for it and insist you both leave/get rid of whatever's causing it.
Has probably broken something that was making a noise you both hated. "Ugh, finally. Look, see? Problem solved! Aren't I a genius, babe?"
Stu absolutely understands the consumption of hyperfixations and he supports you completely. If it's something he can't get into, sometimes he comes across a bit aloof to it, because it doesn't give his brain the dopamine rush it does for you. Still, he's glad you have something you enjoy and he'll still listen to your rants. As long as you do the same for him.
If you both are hyperfixating on the same thing at the same thing? Bro, y'all annoy the shit out of everyone and he does not give a single fuck.
If anyone makes you feel like shit for talking about it, he's gonna rip them a new one. He makes fun of their biggest insecurities if he feels they deserve it. Is it cruel? Yes, but he, doesn't, care. If you don't wanna feel his wrath, you sit there and listen intently to his baby's ramblings, damnit.
Stu's a pretty intense dude and he likes a lot of stimulation. But he understands if you get overwhelmed sometimes. His tolerance for lots of stuff going on is a lot higher than most people. Again, he'll cover your ears if it's a lot of noise. He'll cover your eyes if it's too much visual stimuli, keep you close to his body in a crowd. This also helps if you're shorter than him because he can surround you completely, helps feel like you're disconnected from the stressors around you.
He's hella rich, he'll get you all the fidget toys you want. All the shit you want for a hyperfixation. Best believe you get the best headphones and music player the market has to offer for those times you need to drown shit out.
He's a touchy-feely person and he's likely to forget your physical boundaries sometimes if touch is a problem for you. But he'll always apologize when you correct him. If touch isn't a problem, he's super cuddly. And if you're the type to be only okay with touch from specific people, he gets a huge ego boost from being that person.
He's a bit boney & fidgety but makes a decent human blanket.
An overall 10/10 for a Neurodivergent Partner.
✧Billy Loomis✧
I'm gonna be real with you, chief. He's not the best. He's not terrible! But not the best. I'm not saying he's gonna bully you for the things you do, no, he's an overall sweet partner in all honesty. He's patient and understanding.
Still, if he doesn't understand a thing you're doing, he might come across a bit annoyed. Like if you have an audible stim that you keep repeating, his tone comes across a bit snappy when he asks why you do it. He's not trying to upset you, his temper's just a bit shaky.
Sitting him down and explaining that you're autistic might get you a few annoying questions. He's not an asshole, he means well, but the questions come across rude. Ex; "But you don't act autistic.", "But you do (insert stereotypical thing).", etc. If you tell him that most of the stuff he knows is basically all poor representation and rumors, he'll give you a pretty basic apology and he'll stop. Billy will also ask what else is a result of shitty ideas of autism so he knows better. (You'll need to tell him that the R-word is a slur. He doesn't really use it but it's good for him to be aware.)
I personally see Billy as neurotypical, but he's been friends with Stu for a long time. If you have behaviors that overlap with Stu's, he'll handle it perfectly. He's a veteran at it.
Sometimes he'll think you're being a bit too sensitive about sensory stimuli, but when you explain it's not just that you dislike something, he'll be more willing to understand.
"It's just a bit of corn, it's not that bad." "Billy, when I bite into a single kernel, it triggers my fight or flight response, my body goes into panic mode, and I wanna tear my hair out and throw up. It is that bad." "...oh. Aight, here, trade me."
When it comes to overstimulation caused by stuff like noise and people, he actually understands. He's an introvert and large crowds exhaust him, which makes him irritable. If he sees you starting to get antsy and uncomfortable in a loud environment, he'll give you his walkman headphones and find a reason for you both to leave. He's excellent at manipulation, he'll find a way.
If you have skin sensitivity, he'll start keeping things on him that help alleviates it. Scissors to cut tags out of your clothes, a spare shirt(that's his because he totally has a kink for that), hand sanitizer, etc.
Best believe he's ready to throw hands with anyone who gives you shit. He will whoop ass, no hesitation. Billy's a very possessive & protective partner most of the time, he's ready to defend your honor at the drop of a hat.
He's got his hobbies and likes, but he doesn't have anything he'd consider a hyperfixation. Still, he'll be perfectly happy for you that you've found one. Sometimes he has to ask you to stop talking when you're rambling about it, but he learned after the first two times to specify it wasn't personal. He just needs quiet every now and then and he knows you'll get sad if he isn't actually listening to you.
Like Stu, he'll be very happy if your hyperfixation has anything to do with his own interests. Billy will actually be impressed if you know more niche facts and nuances than he is, this is often the easiest way to hold his attention when you're in a long info-dump.
He's not as rich as Stu, but he's got some decent money, plus a part-time job. His spare money will definitely be spent on your interests, no matter what it is. It could be a hyper-specific brand of toys and he'll buy the most expensive one they offer. He wants you to be happy! (And the terrible part of him wants to have the leverage to keep you loyal to him, no matter how terrible his actions get)
Despite his struggle to understand sensory processing disorder, he actually offers some pretty decent suggestions to get around it. Using myself as an example, I often struggle to brush my teeth because it'll feel like bugs are in my teeth. If you had something like this, he'd come up with a potential solution on the spot. "What if you brushed them in the shower? That way you can focus more on the water than the brushing."
Again, similarities between you and Stu will catch his attention and he'll make a mental note of it. One, he'll see if he can use his experience with Stu to handle your symptoms better. Two, he'll definitely consider asking you if Stu's neurodivergent.
Not the best, but he's trying his best. Solid 7/10.
✧Danny Johnson✧
ANOTHER NEURODIVERGENT.
I headcanon that Danny has AuDHD, which is both Autism & ADHD. Once he was diagnosed (well into his twenties), it was like they had opened pandora's box. Researching it made them go "OHH THAT'S WHY" every five seconds.
He grew up in rural Utah with a shitty dad who would definitely not treat Danny well if he knew about his son's neurodivergence. But that doesn't matter cause the bastard's dead. Letting Danny have the freedom to research the topic to his heart's content, which he does. It helped them immensely in terms of lifestyle.
When you come into his life and explain that you're autistic, he's completely accepting right off the bat. That's also assuming he wasn't stalking you for months prior to your relationship and that he didn't already know to begin with.
He's probably the most equipped to handle things like sensory overload & sensitivities, given he has so many himself. He's also, ironically enough, got the most patience for things like stims & info-dumping. Danny's a tempermental hypocrite but on this list he's the most chill with these things, funny eh?
They absolutely pick up on some of your stims and you pick up on his. It makes them so much worse, but it's cute. His main stims involve his hands and little sounds with his mouth, like whistling or humming.
Your food sensitivities don't need to be explained to him, he's got a million. It's aggravating because he wants to be a foodie so bad but then they have all these damn sensory problems. If a single piece of broccoli will ruin your entire meal, broccoli will be essentially banned from the house. He's a romantic like that.
Pre-cuts tags from your clothes, picks out things from pre-made meals that you hate before he even gives it to you, has a plethora of scented candles you like to cover up troublesome smells, and he's got a million versions of headphones/earbuds. They all work he just loses them constantly, buys more, then finds the originals again. Honestly, they have a whole drawer dedicated to music players.
Your ability to stick to a schedule helps out with his ADHD experience. He's got a pretty decent routine himself, but sometimes he'll fuck it up and find it hard to get back on track. For example, they've misplaced their meds and it's fucking up their whole morning? There you are with the correction and they're back on track. He'll jokingly call you a saint for it.
Sometimes his temper gets touchy and he'll get snappy at something you do. (This is more a general thing and less an Autistic thing) He gets real guilty when you look at him with sadness and quickly apologizes. Which is baffling, given they were pretty sure they were incapable of guilt for a long time.
"I'm sorry, sorry, it's not you. Not mad at you. Mad at this other thing, it's not personal, doll, sorry."
If you're overstimulated, Danny's got you covered, rest assured. He's got earbuds, at least three fidget toys, and he's always ready to give you comforting pressure. Whether it's by acting like a weighted blanket or a tight hug. They also really appreciate when you return the favor when they've had a bad day at work.
They get a huge ego boost if you consider him your main comfort, or if your comfort object is something of his. Like a gift they gave you or some article of their clothing.
Actively researches your hyperfixation so he can engage in conversation with you about it. They like seeing you get all excited when they bring it up. Most of the time, he ends up having a hyperfixation on it as well. If you do the same for him? You're asking for a cuddly bitch of a man.
Feels their cold heart melt when you do something to help their AuDHD. Remembering his safe foods, his fidgets, etc. If he wasn't obsessed before, he is now.
Anyone who gives you shit for being autistic is dead by morning, that's a basic rule. If you defend him against bullshit? He's fucking the shit out of you.(/hj)
Considers you a hyperfixation, honestly.
100/10, you caught a winner with Danny. If you don't mind obsessive behavior, possessiveness, and murder. But c'mon. You're here. Of course, you don't mind.
#slasher x reader#slasher headcanons#slasher community#slasher#slashers#scream 1996#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis#billy loomis x you#stu macher x reader#stu macher#stu macher x you#danny jed olsen johnson#danny johnson#dbd ghostface x reader#dbd ghostface#dead by daylight#ghostface x reader#ghostface#gender neutral reader#headcanons#autistic characters#adhd memes
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Anger Management
Summary: Sami is sick and tired of you and Kevin's temper tantrums. He decides to do something about it.
pairings: Kevin Owens x Fem!Black!Reader x Sami Zayn
Warnings: Cursing, Fluff!!
word count: 3,651
tag list: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav @hope4more @selena-tyler-564 @saintaquarius @whatdoeseverybodywant
a/n: I love zowens. they are so babygirl and have been my brain rot for so freaking long. Hope ya'll enjoy!
"And joining me are the Undisputed Tag Team Champions, Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, and the WWE Women's Champion, Y/N!"
You walked over to Byron with your best friends on either side of you, the three of you wearing a smile to the camera. Albiet, at least a forced smile on your face. You had too much shit on your plate and an interview was the least important thing on your list.
"Thank you for having us Byron." Sami sensed that something was bothering you and rested his elbow on your shoulder, his touch conveying comfort as Kevin wore a similar forced smile on his face. He knew the two of you were on the brink of snapping as you had over the past couple weeks, but he hoped he didn't have to call you out in front of the cameras.
"No problem. Now, I have to ask you guys, how are you feeling with the Bloodline implosion that happened and we all knew would happen." The fake smiles dropped from you and Kevin's faces ,replaced with scowls that could melt steel.
"Oh my god Byron! Who cares about the stupid Bloodline? Cause I don't care! Don't you get sick and tired of asking these stupid questions about the stupid Bloodline, cause I am!" Kevin quite literally screamed in your ears, his face already flushed red with the force of his frustration.
"Kevin, calm down," Sami said, placing a hand on his arm and attempting to diffuse the situation as the tension in the room escalated.
But you thought Kevin was right. These stupid interviewers should be asking questions about things that actually matter, like I don't know, your championships?
"No, why should he calm down! Every time we're here, it's the same damn questions. 'How do you feel about the Bloodline? What are your thoughts about the new thing happening with the Bloodline?' It's like they don't care about anything else, even though we are the champions!" You glared at Byron, frustration boiling over as you vented your pent-up irritation.
"Y/N, calm down!" Sami was like a broken record, now grabbing your shoulder and trying to ease the rising tension.
"I-I'm sorry, I just asked because of the impact that the Bloodline has on the WWE since their inception-" Bryon's apologetic crap was cut off by Kevin, who was unable to contain his frustration any longer.
"Impact? Impact? You wanna talk about impact? How about the impact we've made as champions, huh? Y/N here is the Women's Champion, and Sami and I are the Undisputed Tag Team Champions! Doesn't that matter to you guys at all?"
"Yeah, doesn't that matter instead of this constant obsession with the Bloodline?" You chimed in, huffing at the repetitive nature of the interview questions. Byron, visibly taken aback, attempted to salvage the interview.
"I-I apologize if it seemed that way. We just thought that given the recent events with the Bloodline, it'd be relevant to—" Byron stuttered, trying to justify his line of questioning.
"Both of you, calm down!" Sami's loud voice echoed in the room, finally making you and Kevin be quiet and stop losing your shit. He took a deep breath, looking at each of you with a calming yet worrisome gaze.
"Look, I didn't wanna talk about this in front of Byron." Your eyebrows furrowed and you exchanged confused glances with Kevin, unsure of what Sami was about to address.
"No no, don't hold back for Byron's sake. Say it." You urged Sami, expecting another defense of both your frustration.s
Sami let out a sigh, looking between you and Kevin. "Alright, fine. You guys have an anger problem."
"......."
"What?" both you and Kevin exclaimed simultaneously, your voices dripping with disbelief.
"Yeah, right!" Kevin snorted, shooting a disbelieving glance at Sami. "I don't have an anger problem. I just don't tolerate nonsense, especially when it comes from idiots."
"Exactly," you chimed in, crossing your arms. "I don't have an anger problem either. I'm just passionate and talk loudly, Sami. You know this!"
Sami shook his head, his voice calm but assertive. "Guys, come on. Remember last week, Y/N, when Shayna accidentally spilled water on you? You nearly went off the rails, ready to take her down."
"She did it on purpose!" you exclaimed defensively, crossing your arms.
"The janitor accidentally pushed her! You saw it!" Sami countered, frustration creeping into his tone.
Turning to Kevin, Sami continued, "And you, Kevin, remember when you nearly went after Vinci for simply walking past you?"
"That baldie shouldn't have been walking past me all smug!" Kevin defended, his agitation evident.
Sami shook his head, a mix of concern and exasperation on his face. "See, that's what I'm talking about. You both have a tendency to overreact to minor things."
"That's ridiculous!" you protested.
"Yeah, we're just passionate about what we do!" Kevin added, crossing his arms defiantly.
Sami sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, here's the deal. If you both can get through the rest of tonight without snapping at anybody or anything, I'll drop it. But if either of you loses your cool, you have to admit to me that you both have a problem."
You exchanged a glance with Kevin, both of you wearing expressions torn between determination and skepticism. You guys totally did not have a problem, and you were gonna prove Sami wrong.
"Y'know what, fine. This is gonna be so easy anyways, you know why Y/N?" Kevin asked, a smug smile on his face.
"I know why. Because we don't have an anger problem in the first place!!" You paused with a smug grin on your face as you caught sight of Sami's knowing expression, the challenge set before you. "Let's get through this night without a single outburst, and then we'll see who's right."
The evening progressed, and Sami remained by your sides, observing the situations with a subtle smirk, occasionally looking at his watch as if counting down to something. You and Kevin did your best to keep your composure, but as the night unfolded, it grew increasingly challenging.
The three of you were walking down the hallway, when a technician accidentally bumped into Kevin, spilling water on him. You and Sami looked at each other in bated breath, anticipating Kevin's reaction. Surprisingly, Kevin's jaw clenched, but he managed to keep his cool, wiping the water off his jacket and giving the tech a fake smile.
"Oh, and it's ice water! You hate being wet and cold!" Sami's words seemed to make Kevin's eye twitch as you grabbed a towel, handing it to Kevin.
"Nah, it's all good! You're all good, dude." Kevin wiped the water off his shirt and forced a smile, much to the surprise of both you and Sami. You exchanged a glance with Sami, impressed by Kevin's composure.
Riddle strolled up to the three of you, flashing his trademark grin. Internally, you groaned, knowing Matt's tendency to spark off conversations at the most inconvenient times. As expected, he turned his attention to you, his relaxed demeanor exuding a laid-back vibe.
"Hey there, champs! Y/N, you're looking absolutely fabulous tonight. How about after the show, we grab some pizza and talk about the universe, man?" Ride flashed a grin in your direction, his relaxed and carefree attitude making your nerves jump.
"Umm, I'm good, Riddle." You tried to give Riddle the hint that you didnt wanna talk to him, but he didn't seem to catch it.
"Bro, c'mon, we can hang out, chill, and vibe together. It'll be totally awesome!" Matt continued, undeterred by your attempts to politely decline his offer.
"I'm really good, Riddle." You tried to signal your discomfort, but Riddle's obliviousness persisted.
"And then we can just kick it, grab a slice, and-" You cut Matt off mid-sentence, unable to take it anymore.
"Riddle, shut your mouth before I-" , Before you could say more, you glanced at Sami's expression, your words faltered mid-sentence. Panic flashed across your face as you realized what you were about to say.His raised eyebrow and warning look stopped you in your tracks. God, the hold this man has on you.
"I, uh, mean, shut up! I was just thinking of grabbing a bite with Kevin and Sami, thanks but, uh, never mind," you stumbled, trying to salvage the situation. Matt, oblivious to the tension, simply chuckled and shrugged, sauntering away in his usual carefree manner.
Sami looked at you with an amused yet knowing expression, clearly enjoying the struggle you were facing to keep your cool. "Smooth recovery there, Habibti. Real smooth."
You rolled your eyes as Kevin patted your shoulder, reassuringly. "You did the best you could with Riddle. That man does not know when to shut up." At Sami's look, Kevin shot his arms out and said defensively,
"Hey, it's true!"
Then, when you were busy doing your makeup backstage, Sami and Kevin sitting with you gossiping with themselves, Vinci and Ludwig Kaiser walked in, their smug expressions instantly causing a change in the atmosphere. You continued to focus on your makeup, hoping they'd leave without any confrontation. But that was just wishful thinking.
“Well well well, look who it is, Vinci sneered, glancing at Sami and Kevin before his eyes fixed on you. "The so-called champions, huh? How's it feel knowing that your reign is coming to an end soon?"
You clenched your jaw, internally cursing their timing. Sami linked both his hands with yours and Kevins, leaning closer as if trying to create a barrier between you and the duo. “To what do we owe this pleasure, Vinci?" Sami replied, trying to maintain a composed tone, though a hint of annoyance slipped through.
Vinci and Ludwig exchanged smug glances before Vinci continued, "Oh, just thought we'd remind you lads and the pretty lady here," Vinci smirked, his gaze lingering on you, "that our time is coming. The Undisputed Tag Team Championships are practically ours for the taking."
“Pretty lady?” Kevin muttered under his breath in disbelief, face scrunching up at the thought of someone like them flirting with you in front of him.
"You two again," You grumbled, visibly frustrated but trying your best to keep your mouth shut.
Vinci chuckled, clearly enjoying getting under your skin. “Oh, that reminds me, I got you a gift, darling.”
Kevin’s eye twitched when Vinci brought his arm out from behind his back and presented you flowers with a mocking smile, his tone dripping with condescension.
“A little something for the lady, you know, before I take your championships and her too."
You clicked your tongue sarcastically, refusing to take the flowers. “I’m good, baldie.”
Sami’s eyes darted between Vinci, Ludwig, you, and Kevin, sensing the tension thickening in the room. He moved swiftly, stepping closer to you and placing a hand gently on your shoulder, attempting to stop the escalating situation.
"Vinci, enough. Take your gifts and your talk somewhere else," Sami interjected, his voice firm trying to steer the conversation away from an inevitable explosion.
But Vinci persisted, pushing them closer to you. "Come on, don't be rude. A lady always accepts a gift."
That was the final straw. Kevin's patience snapped like a stretched rubber band. No one talks to you like that. He lunged forward, snatching the flowers from Vinci's hand. With a glare burning with fury, he threw the flowers onto the ground, stomping on them without any remorse.
“You wanna know how she feels about you? This is how she feels about you!” Kevin stomped on the flowers, his voice raised with anger as he directed his fury at Vinci. “This is how we all feel about you!”
Sami immediately stepped in between Kevin and Vinci, trying to defuse the situation before it escalated further. "Kevin, stop!"
But Kevin was seething, his chest heaving with anger. “No! I’m sick of these guys! I just wanna punch them in the face! So you know what?” Kevin grabbed his titles, pointing a finger in Vinci’s shocked face. “I am gonna punch you in the face! Me you, in that ring, right now!” Kevin left angrily, huffing and puffing. You and Sami watched in disbelief as Kevin stormed off, his frustration palpable, taking your titles and chasing after him.
At least Kevin waited until the bell rang to unleash his rage. This didn’t count, right?
As the night wore on, you both managed to navigate through various situations that tested your patience. However, the ultimate test came when Rhea, your long-time rival, interrupted you and your best friends promo in the ring.
Everyone knows you hate being interrupted!! She made her way to the ring with a smirk on her face, and her presence alone was enough to spike your blood pressure.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the overrated Women's Champion and her two sidekicks," Rhea sneered, eyeing you with disdain before turning her attention to Kevin and Sami. "And you two, still sticking around with her? Pathetic."
You bit your fist, and it was almost comical the way you were trying so hard to hold your frustration and anger bubbling beneath the surface at Rhea's derogatory remarks back. You exchanged a tense glance with Kevin, who clenched his fists but managed to maintain his composure. Sami stood between you and Rhea, sensing the rising tension.
"Rhea, there's no need for this," Sami interjected, attempting to defuse the situation.
"No need for what? To state the truth?" Rhea shot back, her words laced with venom. "It's quite clear, isn't it? Y/N here is a paper champion, and you two," she gestured dismissively at Kevin and Sami, "are just carrying dead weight. Champions? Ha!"
You struggled to keep your cool, your fists tightening at your sides. Sami shot you a warning look, silently urging you to maintain control. You tried to hold back the boiling rage at Rhea's words, but you were barely hanging on. Rhea got in your face at your lack of a response, smirking smugly, her words laced with malice.
"You know, you're just proving everyone right by staying silent. Can't handle the truth, can you?" Rhea taunted, her voice dripping with condescension.
"Shut up, Rhea." She ignored you, smiling devilishly.
"You are nothing but a fake champion."
"Shut up Rhea."
"You and your boys are nothing but a joke." Rhea's voice raised an octave, emphasizing each word with deliberate malice.
That was it. The last straw. No one talks about your boys without getting their ass kicked.
In a split second, without thinking, your hand swung, delivering a resounding slap across Rhea's face. Rhea quickly punched you in retaliation, causing chaos to erupt in the ring as Kevin and Sami tried to separate the two of you, but it was like trying to separate wild animals.
Hair pulling, name-calling, and nail scratching ensued before Sami and Kevin latched both your arms and finally grabbed you, dragging you out of the ring as security rushed in to separate the brawl between you and Rhea. The backstage area was a frenzy of commotion as Sami and Kevin struggled to restrain your boiling anger.
"Let me go! She had it coming!" you shouted, struggling against their grasp, your rage still uncontainable.
"Y/N, stop it!" Sami's voice was firm, but there was a hint of concern. "This is exactly what I was talking about."
"I don't have an anger problem! She insulted us!" you retorted, trying to break free.
The security guards stepped in, helping to separate the chaos. Rhea was being escorted in another direction, both of you yelling insults and threats back and forth.
"You psycho bitch!" Rhea screamed at you as she was being escorted away.
"Takes one to know one, bitch!" You yelled back, trying to break free of Sami and Kevins' grip, but they literally dragged you out of the arena, the camera capturing the chaotic scene as the broadcast switched to another segment.
They finally let go of you once you were outside, breathing heavily, seething with frustration, and the adrenaline still pumping through your veins.
"I can't believe she said those things about us! She had it coming," you muttered angrily, pacing back and forth. Kevin was equally as angry for you, pacing with you, and Sami just about had enough.
Sami sighed, rubbing his temples, clearly disappointed but not surprised by the outcome. "Y/N, that's exactly what I was afraid of. We need to talk about this."
"Talk about what? I defended us!" Your voice raised defensively, refusing to accept the possibility of having an anger issue.
"Y/N, you lost control. And so did Kevin, with Imperium. We can't keep denying this," Sami explained, his tone firm yet understanding.
Kevin crossed his arms, looking away with a stubborn expression. "I don't have an anger issue. That was just... Imperium being Imperium."
"Guys, come on," Sami pleaded, trying to reason with both of you. "It took you both one night to prove my point."
Sami's expression was a mix of disappointment and concern. "Y/N, Kevin, this is what I was afraid of. You both need to admit that this is a problem."
"No! She insulted us! She had it coming!" you protested, grabbing Sami's hand and trying to make him see reason.
"Yeah, you know how annoying she can be, Sami. You can't expect us to just stand there and take it!" Kevin interjected, his frustration evident in his tone.
"Guys, this isn't about her. It's about us," Sami said firmly, trying to make you both understand. He squeezed your hand, his thumb gently rubbing your knuckles in an attempt to soothe your agitation.
"Look, I understand why you both reacted the way you did. But it's not about just this one incident. It's a pattern. We've had multiple instances where both of you have almost crossed the line," Sami explained, his voice filled with concern.
You sighed, feeling the weight of Sami's words sinking in. "I just... I hate when someone talks trash about us. I can't help but react."
"I get it, habibti. I really do." Sami put his arm around your shoulders, trying to comfort you. "But we need to find a way to handle situations like these without losing control. And the same goes for you, Kevin."
Kevin sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Fine. Maybe... maybe I overreacted a little."
Sami let out a little smile, it wasn't often the two of you admitted any fault. "That's a start, Kev." He brought him into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles into his back as a silent thank you for his admission before turning to you, his expression softening. "Y/N, what about you?"
You sighed, not wanting to admit it but knowing deep down that Sami was right. Sami sensed your hesitation and gave you a tight but relaxing hug that left you momentarily speechless. When he pulled away, he looked at you with a gentle yet firm expression, waiting for your response.
"I... maybe I did overreact," you admitted, reluctantly conceding to Sami's observation. "But she was out of line."
Sami nodded understandingly, a small smile making its way onto his cute face at the way you were trying to come to terms with it. "I know she was, habibti. But that's what she wants. She wants to get under your skin, and when you react, she wins."
Sami paused, his eyes meeting yours, his gaze gentle yet firm. "I know you are protective of us, and I love you for that. But I don't want it to be at the cost of your well being. And my ears can't take any more screaming."
You chuckled at his attempt to lighten the mood. "Okay, okay," you relented, leaning into Sami's embrace. "Next time I'll just think of ripping of the face of whoever annoys me instead of actually doing it."
"That's all I'm asking for," Sami giggled, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. He then turned to Kevin, who stood there with a thoughtful expression.
"Kevin?" Sami's tone was encouraging, yet serious, awaiting Kevin's response.
Kevin scratched the back of his neck, his expression softening. "Yeah, alright. I'll work on it too." Sami smiled at him and leaned down to give him a platonic kiss on the cheek as well,, Kevin's anger melting away with every touch.
There was a peaceful silence until you and Kevin exchanged a glance, both of you having the same train of thought.
"But what if Rhea-"
"No."
"But what if Vinci tries to-"
"No."
"But what if-"
"No buts, guys!" Sami stopped your questions, laughing at your predictability. "Nothing is gonna happen tonight and if it does, we'll handle it together, calmly." Sami emphasized the last part, looking between the two of you with a serious look, as if daring you to object.
Kevin and you exchanged a knowing look, both of you thinking how this adorable puppy dog of a man could scare you more than any opponent in the ring when he's serious. You nodded in unison, accepting Sami's terms, knowing he wouldn't allow anything else.
Sami beamed, pleased that you both agreed. "Thank you. Now, if the two of you don't fight in the car, we can get Waffle House on the way back. Deal?"
"Deal!" You and Kevin chorused, sharing a smile at the thought of enjoying some delicious waffles after the intense night. You linked your arms with Sami and Kevin, walking to the rental car, ready to put the night behind and embrace the comfort of waffles and each other's company.
The two of you knew you'd have to eventually work on your anger, but you ignored that with the promise of delicious waffles in store for you tonight. (And maybe you'd break your promise to Sami by fighting over the bill, but that was future you's problems).
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Hii so I’m new here and haven’t touched danganronpa in years, so I’m just curious as to what got you into komamiki? My mind is blown whenever I see a ship that’s not implied in canon, so seeing your art was like woah!!!! And I just like getting people to infodump about stuff they love 💕
Thanks a lot for the question, anon! This is gonna be a long post, be prepared
In fact, I remember very poorly the moment when I got involved in this pairing. As I understand it, I saw one piece of art and just fell in love with this couple? That is, my brain clicked and was like, "Listen, I like it, there's something in this!"
If you still asking "why" I liked this pairing, then the main reason is an interesting dynamic. Yes, yes, komamiki haters, I know about the ending of the third trial and that these two "hate each other" (as they usually write). But... Isn't there a special charm in this? Has the path from hate to love stopped being a thing? I mean, at the end of the trial, it was shown how well Mikan caught Nagito's weakness. She could have left him speechless with a precise phrase. She understood Nagito.
Isn't there some spice in the fact that you are best understood by the person you dislike now? And everyone you admire didn't even try to understand you?? (yes, Hajime tried in free-time events. I know, I don't deny it. Just for now we are talking about the main plot).
Of course, I can think too much like any other fan of any other pairing. But this dynamic is driving me crazy!
It gives me pleasure to reflect on how difficult it would be for komamiki to restore a neutral relationship to begin with after the events of the game. And it's going to be difficult, as it's going to be difficult for all the killers and victims to talk about what happened, you know? And the difficulties are ✨interesting✨.
What I also like about komamiki is that they are two broken people who can understand each other. They both need psychological (and not only) help, okay?? But in this path of recovery, they can become each other's support.
Mikan is emotional, reads the general atmosphere and someone else's mood very easily, worries a lot. Nagito is actually more detached and calm (unless we're talking about hope-). He knows how to show the emotions needed at the moment, but he does not always read the general atmosphere (and does not always consider it necessary, he is on his own mind). In total, we have two broken people, one is very emotional and reads people well, and the second is calm, which adjusts to the mood of people. And both have low self-esteem and are very, let's call it, helpful. "I will do anything, just don't hate me!" and "I will do everything to become your stepping stone to hope!"
At the same time, they can learn a lot from each other and take care of each other. Mikan, of course, as a nurse. I like to think too much that she put all her strength into Nagito's life after him waking up from the New World Program. Komaeda, in turn, is sharp-tongued, and can protect his emotional girlfriend from unwanted comments verbally. He also knows how to express admiration, I think such words won't hurt Mikan. Tsumiki can also express in words and actions the importance of Nagito's life to her. Uh, a mutual aid circle??
Will such a relationship be difficult? OF COURSE, absolutely. But do you really think that any relationship does not involve difficulties? Including healthy relationships, which are being talked about a lot now? Like, guys, psychologists identify the crisis stages that ANY married couple goes through. The question is not what kind of problems are in the relationship, but how they will be solved. But I got off the subject.
If I think again about the post-canon, then I am hooked by the idea that the Class 77 will become the world's enemy. Not without reason, let's be honest. But, you see, there is no one left in their world who would accept them, except classmates (no, Makoto, don't look at me like that-). "In this world, we only have each other." Isn't this a bit dramatic, tragic and romantic?! (tragic for the most part, but we love it here)
Uh, I think this post is already quite long, it's worth taking stock. I love komamiki, I see an interesting, complex dynamic between them. Most of the time I draw them cute, gentle, romantic, well, because I like to draw them like that. I'm interested in thinking about their relationship, but drawing all sorts of cute things gives me peace of mind. Thanks again for the question, anon! It's always a joy to talk about your favorite couple^^
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opinions on erivris? (canon + potential)
Friendship! This one's a bit weird to answer because I personally feel like canon pretty much shows us what's up with their relationship, but I can still talk about it!
So we know that Vriska initially got Mindfang's journal from following a meteor she saw shortly after leaving the caverns. This journal eventually led her to a ghost ship, where she found the Flourite Octet during a roleplaying campaign. Eridan mentions getting his crosshairs from a ghost ship too, implying that the two found it together while FLARPing. Since Vriska was explicitly led there by the writings of her ancestor, and she always wished to be like Mindfang, and Eridan also believes that his inheritance of the gun was a sign that he was meant to follow in his ancestor's footsteps/finish their unfinished business, it's heavily implied that the two's kismesistude was largely the result of both of them feeling obligated to pick things up where their ancestors left off.
Now, Karkat's speculated before about Vriska's fucked-up psyche from all the murders. I'll probably just post that, because, to be honest, I trust Karkat's opinion:
CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE. ... CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. ... CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. ... CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.
So basically, what Karkat is saying is that Vriska's a sloppy mess. Because of her personal suite of issues, caused by a demanding and "intense" "sym8iotic" relationship with her lusis and all the child murders she's had to do (many thousands), she functionally doesn't have enough emotional effort to muster up for pretty much anybody.
And this all makes sense, because Vriska's entire suite of problems stems from having to be tough as nails and justifying her actions. No weakness, no kindness, no mercy, no pity. And since she's closing herself off from the rest of her emotions, all she has left is a "dull" hate, insufficient for a proper kismesistude. Frankly, according to Karkat, she just can't hate anybody hard enough.
Now, Vriska and Eridan have a lot of parallels, between their ancestors' shared history and the similar demands made by the lusii in their lives. However, Vriska is far more successful at fitting into the highblood mold; since she's better at closing herself off from feelings of guilt or pity, and - Team Charge debacle nonwithstanding - capable of forming and maintaining friendly relations, if not friendship, with other trolls (Equius, Kanaya).
In contrast, because the two kind of serve as foils for each other, Eridan is really bad at managing his feelings. Between expressing guilt about the kid he just orphaned:
That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere pretty sad.
And the fact that he's generally known for his "exaggerated emotional theatrics," which generally stem from genuine deep-seated anxieties he holds towards his position in society and the weight of a seemingly inescapable future (check out my Eridan essay for more), I think it's safe to say that he kind of represents the opposite of Vriska's personal suite of issues: where she closes herself off from her feelings too much, and is thus constantly projecting an air of being tough and mean and scary, Eridan expresses his emotions too much, and is thus seen as cringe and overbearing and attention-seeking.
And this equal-but-opposites kind of thing crops up in other facets of their life - Vriska's murders are motivated primarily by self-preservation, as her lusus dying means she dies, too; meanwhile, Eridan's murders carry with them the survival of the entire species, as well as his friends specifically. Vriska's lusus is described as intensely demanding, and their relationship symbiotic (read: codependent); Eridan's is described (by proxy, via Cronus's lusus) as "stern and fatherly," with an implication that he's provides pretty much no emotional support whatsoever (which I expand upon here).
So, if Vriska's relationship problems are caused by the fact that she's so removed from her own feelings that she has no emotional effort to spare, then it stands to reason - and indeed seems to be the case - that Eridan's emotional problems are that he's far too emotional, and thus, going in too hard, and in too messy a direction, no matter who he's attempting to pursue. (Nepeta calls his flushed advances "cr33py and insincere," Kanaya finds his ashen advances "indecent," and Equius expresses feeling uncomfortable with his flirting.)
Indeed, Eridan strikes up flirting astonishingly quickly, as seen when he shares only a few words with Rose before asking if she wants to go pitch with him. There's several factors involved here.
The first is that his emotions run fever-hot at all times, to the point that he has difficulty parsing both their origins and their aims; if you asked him point-blank if he was really in love/hate with whomever he was flirting with, he would answer you with a firm "yes," even if it's obvious to everyone around him that he probably isn't.
The second is that he's desperately lonely, and likely sees a relationship as a form of alleviation from that loneliness, so he's over-eager to get into one. A romantic partner isn't supposed to leave you alone, after all, and we can see from Vriska accidentally ghosting him to mercy kill her lusus that he tends to assume people ignore him on purpose. Because he has anxiety. The boy just craves attention.
And finally, establishing a relationship, especially a pitch one, is tied up in his general problems regarding duty and obligation. Not only is there pressure from the empire to fill both concupiscent quadrants by adulthood, but Dualscar had a kismesis, so Eridan ought to have one, too. We see from the way he treats killing angels as a duty he has to undertake, the same as killing lusii, that he has great difficulty divorcing his current situation from the anxiety that motivates him to complete his work, so it's likely that he's still moving according to this feeling that he "has to" fill these quadrants or else Something Bad Will Happen.
And, with Vriska specifically, here's the thing - there's never a point where he genuinely describes hatred for her. The most we get is him using some colorful slurs to describe her to Kanaya, but he never goes into specifics, like "I hate her for X". So the question that all of this begs is, did Eridan ever hate Vriska at all?
And the answer is probably no. Personally, I don't think their kismesistude was ever really serious, nor did they ever actually hate each other. Both of them, feeling obligated by their bloodlines, entered into the kismesistude on the grounds that it was their duty, an obligation, and at some point, Vriska realized she wasn't really into it, and Eridan got the rejection through his thick, woeful skull. Their interaction in [S] Past Karkat: Wake up. pretty much says it all.
VRISKA: Hey. ERIDAN: hey VRISKA: So........ ERIDAN: wwhats up VRISKA: Nothing. VRISKA: Standing by the old horn pile I see. ERIDAN: yup VRISKA: Yeah........ VRISKA: Ok then. Carry on I guess. ERIDAN: god damn vvris wwhys it still got to be so flippin awwkwward like this come on ERIDAN: wwe used to havve a good thing goin remember our campaigns ERIDAN: that shit wwas epic wwhere are you evven goin to find a rivvalry like that VRISKA: It was fun, Eridan. While it lasted. VRISKA: 8ut it ran its course! I don't know what else to tell you. ERIDAN: oh as if im not so ovver it please spare me your disdain mindfang ERIDAN: im wworkin on findin a neww rivvalry wwhichll make ours look like a kiddie game ERIDAN: wwhich oh by the wway IT WWAS VRISKA: If you say so, Dualscar! 8est of luck with that. VRISKA: Too 8ad the luck's all mine now! Hahahaha.
To paraphrase:
-Awkward foot shuffling- ERIDAN: I really enjoyed what we had, when you paid attention to me. Are you sure you don't want to go back to that? VRISKA: I guess it was fun, but I'm not interested, like I've told you a bajillion times already. ERIDAN: Yeah, I know, I just figured I'd ask. ALSO I'M TOTALLY EMOTIONALLY FINE AND NOT SAD AT ALL BECAUSE SADNESS IS WEAKNESS AND I'M NOT WEAK, SEE? I CAN BANTER. I'M NORMAL ABOUT THIS. I'M TOTALLY OVER YOU. VRISKA: Hahaha. Yikes. Good luck, dude. Genuinely no hard feelings on my end.
And there really aren't hard feelings. Before the retcon, Vriska mentions on the ghost pirate ship that she wishes Eridan was there; post-retcon, she's the one who's willing to go to bat for him a little when she and Terezi are discussing who to bring back with their extra kernelsprites. Eridan is doing his usual thing of "well, I've accepted their rejection... but am open to them changing their minds, crazier things have happened" thing with her, but that DOES mean that he has accepted the rejection. (More about the way he handles rejection and flirting here.)
So pitch is toast for them; they've been there, done that, and probably never even hated each other in the first place. On the other quadrants:
The thing with pale is that it's about keeping each other calm. Given that Eridan seems to puff up whenever Vriska is involved - because, even if he never hated her, the fact that she could do the Highblood Thing more naturally than he could probably fuels his general insecurities about his inability to meet that ideal - I don't think it would be successful on that count alone. Even without that, I highly doubt Eridan would be capable of reining Vriska in, nor would he even particularly care to (and vice versa) - the two of them both struggle with empathy for other people.
Flushed is, hmmm... well, the thing is, both of them have been shown having flushed tastes of "nice" - Vriska's weird vascillatory thing with Tavros, and then her fond feelings for John, and Eridan's interest in an idealized version of Feferi. In fact, Karkat outright says he thinks Tavros is broken in such a way that he doesn't feel hatred for anybody, and Eridan says to Feferi that he thinks she's too nice to hate anybody; whether or not that's true, we can extrapolate that the two of them tend to be interested in people who are just really really nice. And unfortunately, the two of them are not particularly nice at all.
So personally, I think the best possible ending for these two is friendship. The incompatible aspects of their personalities - Eridan's desperate need for attention and emotional support, and Vriska's difficulty with providing it - wouldn't be a problem in a casual friendship, and they clearly hold each other in fairly positive regard. For their own sakes, I don't think they should be in too much contact - Eridan is painfully sincere and emotional even at his best, and Vriska is tough and badass even at her best, and I think she'd wind up hurting him, and he'd wind up exhausting her - but as, like, casual buddies that see a movie with each other or do extreme sports or something every so often? Not bad!
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