#i actually feel very threatened by them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i like silent hill 2 for its atmosphere and story, but... i have to admit silent hill 3 is my favorite game 🙌
everything about that game is just So Fucking Good, man
cheryl is still one of my favorite characters to date because she's just so enjoyable to play as, and the monsters are even more terrifying than sh2 for me, and the cult plot really creeps me out
i love it, best game ever
#also personally#sh2 feels more like a tragedy to me rather than a straight up horror story#yes the monsters are pretty damn scary but honestly i feel like the nost terrifying existence there is pyramid head#maybe the abstract daddy but other than that? not much#but sh3 tho?#so many of them scared the hell out of me#i actually feel very threatened by them#if i didn't kill em before i continue on it'll bug me so much#and idk maybe i just relate to heather's story even more than james because so much of her fears#are very relatable to me...#but yeah sh3 is my favorite#tmi tag
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
238 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello!! i just discovered your blog and firstly i wanna say that your art is gorgeous! <33 and secondly, if youre still taking requests could i get a lesbian/non binary cheetah? /nf
Thank you! Cheetahs be upon ye!
#ask#art request#my art#art#lesbian#lesbian pride#nonbinary#enby#nonbinary pride#enby pride#cheetah#pride#pride art#queer#queer art#animal art#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#critter series#/nf is one of those acronyms that i don't really understand even though i know technically what it means...i think? it's 'not forced' right#(sorry if that's not actually what it stands for. apart from tumblr i'm very much under a rock when it comes to most internet stuff)#it's more the phrase itself that confuses me. or moreso amuses me i suppose#'not forced' sounds like something someone who is definitely *not* being threatened by a secret enemy spy would say#'hi fellow spy friend of mine. you know where we keep our secret stash of money haha /nf' <- absolutely being forced via enemy spy blackmai#what you obviously mean by /nf: hey don't feel pressured to do this :) this is a polite request#what my brain decides to read it as: dear god! it's secret code! someone is holding them hostage and forcing them to ask for art. D:#but i do appreciate you adding it just in case. but if you're polite and kind in your words than an ask never sounds demanding to me :)#anyway sorry for getting COMPLETELY off track. forgive my silly little mind. we're here for pride critters#AND WHAT A GREAT CRITTER CHOICE for those flags my friend. they worked really well :D hope you enjoy#id in alt
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not that I’ve been keeping up with lore or anything, but I don’t feel like Nightmare or Error would let anyone else kill their respective nemesi
#not to say that they don’t let other people hurt them. ink gets into too much trouble for error to keep him out of it#and nightmare I feel has no qualms telling his lackeys to beat dream up#buuuut I feel like if one of their lives was genuinely being threatened these two would intervene somehow#could just be soft headcanons on my end but ink and error are weird friends. as in like. they tolerate each other because they can’t#actually kill each other- and if anyone did find a way to permantly kill one of them they would shut that down#I could see nightmare managing to kill dream? but I don’t think he’d be okay about it djdjdjdjjd (and I do think he’d be very upset if#anyone else managed to kill dream)#doodle#sketch#utmv#undertale AU#undertale#error sans#ink sans#nightmare sans#dreamtale#inktale#errortale
183 notes
·
View notes
Text
got my staunch anti voting family to vote (mostly). also I came out to them.
the latter is not nearly as causative for the former as you'd hope. but.
#it's at least an explanation for how I'll react and be affected should the election have a bad result#I was trying to help them out bc they'll have to deal with the fallout should it come to that & I felt obligated to make them fully aware#of ALL of the consequences and what their inaction meant to me personally#they tried to reassure me in their own way and their idea of protecting me is reenacting the Alamo I guess#but it's like. I know that's for their own sense of morality and heroism. the first step is ACTUALLY with a ballot thank you very much.#'being queer? sure that's nice. voting?? get that the hell away from me!!!!'#it was horrible every step of the way. sick to my stomach over their idea over what was 'right' and 'moral'#(idealistic nonsense to rationalize it to themselves)#and sick to my stomach over the pressure I was causing and the backlash to that#literally no way to win so I might as well stick to what I know is right even if they resent me for it#SORRY I was raised to have a moral backbone lol#it was so messy oh my god but things are fine okay whatever atm#we got our mail in ballots squared away over the weekend#I know we're in a 'red' state w/e but that's 4(?) votes for harris so. not nothing & I can only hope it's a microcosm reflected elsewhere#honestly I don't know if I STILL would have had enough to work with if abortion rights weren't on the ballot#so a key piece of my framing was like. PLEASE for the love of pete help me with my fucking abortion rights.#so I can have a safety net if you want me to continue this lineage at all bc I am our best chance & you know it. (didn't say that last bit)#weaponizing white woman tears for good.#I nearly boo-hoo'd too close to the sun for my mom when it became clear that this was threatening family peace.#did I feel really manipulative? yeah. but is it actually manipulation when this is the reality of the situation and my feelings are genuine#like hi it's important to me that you say 'no' in the only way that it can actually count for historical purposes?
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I actually find gender swapping characters really interesting (what part of their expression is dictated by gender norms vs certain events in their life vs their personal preferences that wouldn't change either way, etc.) so now I wanna draw what that would look like in my ocs except I am in pain rn so I'm forced to just lie there and be plagued by visions
#ok but#the thing with north is that when he ran away he cut off his hair and started wearing masculine clothing to hide his identity and went “wait#this actually feels right wtf“#but i dont think he really did anything with his appearance prior to that. he kinda was just existing not really thinking about himself#he was really only focused on protecting and caring for saffron#so a gender swapped version wouldnt be much different pre-running away#not bothering about cutting hair + the cultists' robes look very similar in both feminine and masculine versions#so fem north would still have short hair to make her appearance less recognizable#just would wear dresses and stuff#saffron though. i think she presents herself more in accordance with gender norms#so gender swapped saffron would always have short hair + more masculine looking clothing#but i think her mannerisms and behavior would stay the same. also her general frame#like yes she in part dresses and looks this way because thats whats expected of her + thats how she was raised by The Lady but a lot of it#esp in terms of her personality is Just Her. this would stay the same#warren doesnt give a shit. he doesnt have much gender to begin with. no gender only swag#so he would look almost exactly the same just with less facial hair probably#The Lady would very much be different. like instead of graceful threatening elegant old-ish woman with Big Hair and Big Dress#shed have short hair same level of elegance but masculine clothes probably facial hair too. like one of them small sharp beards yk#the restaurant owner (still dont have a name for her) wouldnt change almost at all as well. shes very much function/comfort over style#her clothes are already masculine n she has short hair both for convenience#shed straight up look the same just with a stubble or smth#there are a couple other characters in this story i have thoughts on but i havent introduced/developed them properly yet#pjsk ocs though ! ive been thinking abt them again#matsu is pretty feminine and it does play a role in a “part of why ppl think hes weird” kinda way#so as a girl hed be more masc presenting#i dont think fumi would really change at all. she also dresses mainly for convenience but i do think she does have a little regard for#for gender norms. but like. barely any. so maximum changes would be those ponytail parts of her hair getting like. a tiny bit shorter#toshiro would stay the EXACT same. he does his own thing#seina dresses that way bc shes expected to but also thats just genuinely how she is. so swapped shed still have longer hair n feminine#demeanor but wear pants or smth. im hitting tag limit help. cries
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Quick Coffincest thoughts: You cannot convince me Ashley doesn't have a bit of a praise kink. I bet she does the whole "Praise me now!" Thing while they are having sex too (btw, Andrew loves praising her. It works.)
#like shes riding him or something and the whole time shes just like praise me praise me in turn andrew talks and makes a lot of noise#during it#the coffin of andy and leyley#coffincest#soleil shut up#i really just cannot picture Ashley liking humilliation of any kind like genuinely i think she would actually cry if andrew did that and#sounded anywhere near actually upset at her#and i also don't think she would do it because she only really seems to get mean like that when she feels threatened in some way#its not something that makes her pleased or happy to do#so yeah Ashley a praise girlie all the way and Andrew does seem to be good with words and very willing to just praise her if she asks#for it yay I love them#Ashley just like me fr fr
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
can someone just like spam me with tllr things you want me to draw. can be anything i just neeeed motivationnn
#wyrms says stuff#speaking of asks#i should PROBABLY answer them shouldn’t i#i’m not ignoring u guys i’m just lazy or busy or i forgor#it’s weird i have soooo many wips but when my art has a deadline i can finish it EASY and FAST#(i did an art secret santa yesterday and i finished mine in 4 hours ON the due date and even though i finished it at the last second#it turned out AWESOME. and i drew so much cool stuff during art fight in only a few hours. but when it comes to my ocs or fanart#i’m just slow without a deadline) so guys. honest to glob just threaten me in my ask box.#i wanna get all my cool tllr art wips done but i have no motivation!!! feel free to threaten me with a deadline. or something else#in fact just scream at me to finish chapter 12 i actually work very very well under pressure you guys#anyway i don’t know what im rambling about. its just me procrastinating drawing/writing again isn’t it#OH SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED MY GOOSE CAME IN TJE MAIL
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutout to my girl eno’s nightmare bc. Hi! What and/or Who the fuck was that ! its gonna haunt her and i for awhile !
#my art#its a shitpost batman#Pirate Campaign#Enososin Folook#rea rambles in the tags#OK SO LIKE IT KINDA TOLD ME WHAT/WHO IT WAS BUT IT ALSO DIDNT? YKNOW? LIKE—#it started off with normal dream stuff and then devolving into fear/nightmare stuff and ‘wtf is this who are you why are you in my house’#but then the whole argument shifted when the thing posing as Rollo— bc it WAS an outside force— said “i am his rage i am his guilt’’ etc.#and i could FUCKING FEEL ENO IN MY HEAD RELAX SO GODDAMN FAST. STILL ANXIOUS BUT JUST. ‘Oh. Is that all?’#‘Well what i’m about to do is still incredibly stupid but i feel much better about how it will go now’#AND IT WORKED. WONDER OF WONDERS. AND THEN FUCKING AFTER THAT WHEN I WAS HUGGING THEM.#the ‘creature’ for lack of better terms EXPLICITLY said “of course you are one who can calm my rage— you who was raised by the one#whom i love the most’’ and HI. HELLO. THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS I COULD TAKE THIS SENTENCE ENTITY-OF-INDETERMINATE-EVERYTHING.#ROLLO. DAD MAN. BELOVED GOLIATH WHOM I TRUST WITH MY LIFE AND THAT SCARES ME.#I HAVE QUESTIONS. SEVERAL ACTUALLY. WILL WE EVER ASK THEM? PROBABLY NOT!!!!!!!!#BUT IM *SO* CURIOUS. WAIT A MINUTE. WHO *ARE* YOU??????????#final shoutout to the fact that both times I have tried/thought about casting a vaguely aggressive spell. to someone who was#threatening me/eno. it has not *worked!!* and I have had to use my THINK THONKING BRAIN AND DO A STUPID MOVE!!!!!#aka roleplay and use way too much compassion. *I WONDER WHY SHE'S SO INSISTENT THAT IT'LL WORK STRANGE ENTITY I CALMED BY HUGGING*#they were also INCREDIBLY insistent that I don’t die. Peacefully/trying to help someone that is. Full of rage like a supernova ?#only acceptable way to go apparently /lh /very aff (<- already attached to this strange person I DONT KNOW)#ok ok im done /jov#shut UP rea#rea's trash
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
(( As a kinda silly OOC thing: I like conceiving of Miranda (and her connections through the Merkingdom) as being an anti-OP muse.
As in, I like the thought of, the more OP someone or something else is, the worse of a time they have being able to do anything to Miranda. She is, very intentionally and within the logic of her own universe, designed to be able to handle those with extreme power and authority and to be able to undermine everything they can throw at her and counteract anything that they try to do.
She's already a royal, next in line to her throne! She has to be able to fully handle other people in similar positions without risking any damage to her own, and this is something that she's dealt with her entire life. She very much knows all the risks associated as a part of her job, her title, her entire reason for being born, and she's well-trained in the formal and informal methods of striking down anyone else who might even come close to a position to her own.
Which, of course, means that muses that very much aren't OP, that are just normal people or much closer to it, are much, much more capable of threatening Miranda and the Merkingdom both as a point of intention. This is something that I very much want and very much want to encourage. Especially because the reason this is such a problem is the way that the Merkingdom and, thus, Miranda, entirely overlook and ignore such threats and treat them like non-issues. The fact that most Merkingdom royals, upon actually encountering a landfolk, have a range of responses from discomfort to dismissal to ignorance, is one that is very purposeful here. The ones that they're most likely to pay attention to are the ones in the most danger, and the ones that they aren't likely to care very much about beyond petty malice and as another means to inflate their own egos. And, as it is, the ones they're most likely to pay attention to are those that have decided to pose a risk.
And it's a thing that I've been dealing with from the beginning too. From the start of this blog I was very bothered by the idea that some OP character would decide to singlehandedly "fix" or destroy the Merkingdom from a position of equal or greater authority. Which is not to say that I didn't want it to be changed or that there weren't ways to dismantle it. But rather, I wanted it to be more organic, and I wanted to deal with the actual question of how that even happens, and I wanted to ask the question of what could measurably improve this situation and Miranda's life both.
Which meant that, yeah, the more OP a muse is the more intentionally destined for failure they are, and the closer they approach "some guy", the more they'll be able to achieve. Which is not to say it won't be difficult or hard to do, or that there's not the possibility for failure (again, even at her most basic, Miranda is a macropredator that can easily maim someone, but more typical "normal" muses are more likely to possess caution and try to read her body language before pressing her), but the fact remains, very intentionally, that they are the only ones who will be able to do it.
#Most secret royal advisor || OOC#(( miranda is like the non-newtonian fluid of muses#(( the harder you try to hit her the less youll be able to do and the harder you get hit in turn#(( again: the correct way to handle miranda is to fuss over her like a kitty cat#(( she likes it when people are just silly and affectionate with her#(( and you can go VERY far if you stay within that non-threat range#(( its also why miri is a chronic oversharer with her friends#(( and constantly will say the most concerning things to them that she might not even be mentally registering herself#(( and cant lie very good to them and feels an urge to give away her secrets#(( but if you actually try to pull those secrets out on your own then Good Fucking Luck#(( its also why i often take mental account of#(( if miranda is ACTUALLY registering someone as a threat or if she thinks theyre annoying or frustrating or feels hurt#(( if shes actually being threatening intentionally in any given scene or if shes just. playing.#(( because shes dramatic and she likes to do the cat thing#(( where she acts all menacing and scary because she wants to chase and be chased#(( its why i specify if shes actually hitting someone with her claws or not or how hard she bites when she does#(( if blood isnt drawn then shes not trying to hurt you#(( because all of this matters!!! miranda has her secret affinity scores that no one else is privy to!! you just have to guess!#(( (i will also say the vast majority of them are neutral or that miranda finds them boring.)#(( (most likely she just doesnt care rather than hates someone)#(( this also applies to positive relationships tbh........#(( see: how easily miranda will get into relationships but just thinks of the other person as a fun toy to use and dispose of#(( they have Not actually gotten as close to her as they might feel in the moment#(( shes just funky!!!! i love having a muse who is so much not what she seems!!!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
2023 reads // twitter thread
Zombabe
paranormal YA set in a small town in 2003 where weird things happen that mostly get ignored
a boy is resurrected by his best friend after dying just before graduation. but he’s maybe a zombie now and if he ignores his hunger for flesh an ancient evil might start causing bigger problems
thankfully one of his friends’ aunt is a cop who has no problem helping get rid of some of the local nazis
queer teen friend group, m/m
#zombabe#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i.s. belle#lgbtq books#i loved this!!!!!!#the like. 3rd person omniscient (i think) in a modern (ish) setting works really well actually?#and its one of those books that has little snippets of various side characters yknow what i mean.#it’s kinda slow building up until the end when it happens very fast#i have no idea where the next books will go????#I also really liked that like. while obv there's homophobia in the world (& the aforementioned nazis very much bully them up for being gay)#there's not any internalised homophobia or anything like that. and like even tho the nazis like threaten to kill them I guess-#you never feel like the actual threat and danger of it from the narrative. you know the bigots are just gonna die lol#is my intense fixation on wanting to bite my best friend a zombie thing or is it just the gay yearning i’ve been trying to ignore#I already made a post about this but tentatively comping to in the flesh.....zombies....slightly anachronistic small town people who#turn a blind eye to stuff..dark with a bit of humor...kind hearted quiet blonde gay boy MC....#I will say that ITF is a lot heavier re: mental health and like systemic oppression and stuff#(.....because I just rewatched it again. prompted by reading this book)#I will also note that; while I don’t think this is reskinned fanfic; the author used to write a lot of It movie fic#so if ur into that you might like this apparently it has similar vibes#nz author
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway my issue with a lot of other helpols (which just makes me avoid the larger community and do my own thing in my corner) is that a lot of them are recon (which is fine!!!) but i am inherently informal and weird as shit in my practice. i call hades and hestia my spiritual dad/mom, hermes gets donuts as offerings when i’m trying to get to class on time and avoid traffic, i once asked artemis to keep deer from jumping out in front of my car on a road trip home with an offering of granola/sports bars. when people get too formal with the gods and pull out the titles, i usually bail bc it makes me uncomfortable. my relationship with my deities is extremely deep and connected, and it’s not that people who have more formal relationships with them can’t also have those, but it’s that if i called hades “lord hades” with any seriousness, he’d hit me with a rock, basically.
i don’t judge other people for their practices or more formal relationships bc honestly, it’s between you and your gods, but like… my go-to offering is the pomegranate brookside dark chocolates, and yes. sometimes i eat them out of my offering dishes the next day.
#i feel like recons are a lot more uhhh#noticeable on this platform? or maybe there really are just more of them#but i feel like us gremlin freaks aren’t very common on here#or maybe we just don’t get many posts bc people don’t relate as much or we don’t do the whole lists of offerings/altar ideas/prayers/etc#my list of offerings for hades won’t work for most people bc he’s very specific in how he reaches out to me#i have a severe aversion to mint. a lot of people put mint in their hades offerings and i know why#but i genuinely hate mint anywhere near me so i can’t use those#so i just don’t bother with a lot of offering lists and making them myself feels like letting people into my underwear drawer? like. that’s#between me and Him‚ basically. although that’s not to imply godspousing or anything i’m just using it as an easy example people will#understand. but yeah idk#i avoid a lot of the helpol community because i don’t feel like i fit in well#i am not recon and never will be bc it doesn’t vibe with my personality or lifestyle#i show my devotation in other ways‚ but those aren’t as easy to post online or share#and i don’t really want to share them either‚ soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#pagan stuff#bones.txt#zeus gets titles when i work with him tho. i know he’s usually in good humor and the one time i made a bid to him for rain it went well#(after 4-6 weeks of processing time) but i still try to be extra polite to him#hades doesn’t care. zeus might actually strike me down with lightning y’know?#or at least threaten it idk
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 12: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should rest for the night in an abandoned barn ...
~
Somewhat nervous about being out in the woods alone at night, he decides to try finding a more hidden sleeping spot, further off from the path. Though with his injuries, and his exhaustion, he knows he shouldn't walk too far. He tells himself that he'll just adventure a little, only an hour or so, and if he can't find anything better by then, he'll just give up and set a tent in some bushes somewhere......
After 30 minutes, he finally stumbles across an old barn. He can't see it very well with just a trickle of moonlight and the dull glow of his flickering lantern, but it seems to have not been used for many years. Structurally sound enough (at least he hopes), yet shrouded in moss and blankets of various overgrowth.. It takes a few moments to pluck away all of the ivy blocking his path, but he soon closes the rickety doors behind him to focus on the interior. There's no space to light a fire or set up a real tent, and he'll have to block a few holes in the walls so wild animals don't sneak in, but, there are a few surprisingly clear looking sections scattered amongst all the musty hay bales and cobwebs. He chooses a "cozy" spot in the corner, hidden behind a few dusty crates. Though he tosses about uncomfortably in his bedding for quite a while, he's eventually able to fall into a peaceful sleep.….....
.. Suddenly, he's startled awake by rustling, catching a dark blurred movement in front of him. He's smart enough to always sleep wearing his backpack over his chest so nobody could just grab it without him noticing, but it seems for the first time in all his travels... someone is actually trying to. Still half asleep, he clings to the bag and yelps, pushing and tumbling away into a moldy wooden barrel after an initial struggle. He pulls himself up to face the hooded figure now looming above him, entirely obscured aside from their vague cloak-ish shape outlined by the faint moonlight behind them.. The Adventurer calls out in a shaky attempt at an aggressive tone, "Wh-wh.. whAT are YOU DOIng? WHo-whu..UHHH??? aahhhG" "Give me the bag." The hooded figure speaks in a smooth, stern, yet calm voice, slowly taking a step forwards. The cat scrambles to The Adventurer's side, hissing and giving a low growl.. "w-WELL , uh,, sORRY , n-NO , I would rrrather not DO THAT, I h-- I uh-- I don't have even anythi- I don't even have ANYTHING, I mea- wh-wh HWaAt d-do I look RICH to you?? EUggh-" he gulps loudly, holding back nervous vomit, "B-BACK OFF!! you-.. f- uh.. THIEF!!!!!" The hooded figure pauses for a moment, as if re-strategizing how to approach the situation. "Look, kid, I don't want to hurt you. But I need you to give me that egg." "WHWh-what egg? I-I don.. DON'T have an EGG, I'm uh…aCTUALLY a-allergic to eggs, s-sso-" "The egg that's in a wooden box. In your bag. Don't waste your time bullshitting me.. Come on, let's make this quick." The hooded figure extends their arm, motioning to be handed the egg. Still desperately fighting not to throw up everywhere, The Adventurer simply sits on the floor, staring up at the hooded figure blankly as he tries to think.. Is he seriously being robbed for the first time? Is that like, a cool milestone, or a bad one? He's read about it in adventuring books before but... the reality feels so much different.. How can he get out of this? Strategies scatter through his mind, but he's too shaken to find any clear answers.. What should he do?
-
Additional Information
the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
#paventure posting#poll#polls#choose your own adventure#for the record - if he had gone to the stranger's cottage. walked all the way to the villiage. or kept walking all night. the hooded figure#wouldnt have had a safe place to corner him and would have had to wait for another day. all the other options#(abandoned barn. sleep out in the woods. etc.) would lead to the same thing#The dice lady was letting him know someone has been following him. perhaps multiple someones#I was also going to include the options 'threaten to blow up the entire barn with magic and then nobody gets the egg'#and an option for him to just throw the egg on the ground and break it#but those seem more out of character and also breaking the egg would end his quest anyway since he would have nothing#to bring the Innkeeper's brother anymore lol#also a 'tell the cat to attack the robber' option but I was afraid too many people would choose that thinking it was#funny or a cool way out of the situation when like.. realistically the cat would get hurt actually and I don't want to endanger them#or have to write about them getting harmed lol. WHICH I know is a choice. I could be like 'wow the cat is actually a#magical cat and they explode the person and win hooray!' . but it feels too far fetched given the hooded stranger's background#they're not going to be like completely incapacitated by one small cat#things must be goofy and silly and fantasy but also.. underlying realism to an extent#I held back on not making him get more injuries after sailing down a river in a dinky little raft because I really think thats probably#quite dangerous hjknjk. I stated it was a very slow moving river specifically to make it seem a little more plausible but#I feel like in real life the current would just smash your raft into a rock in like 10 minutes lol#ANYWAY.. uh oh. boy in danger!#he can get out of it though. I believe in him#somehow an unskilled swagless penniless nervousboy can still make his way in the world#(he does have SOME skills ghhgh.. just like. not really adventuring suited ones. since he just started adventuring like#less than a week ago and has no training or practical experience aside from reading a lot of storybooks)#also I know his belt thing is on the wrong shoulder... shhhh... I still don't feel good and drew very quickly and am not#going back to make changes lol
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here
#but.#even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16#i traveled across the country just to see her again#and it fucking sucked#she ripped that wound right back open#which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come#she made all the plans#honestly the train trip there was nice#i got to experience a lot of cool things#but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life#just nonstop#and now ive finally been away for awhile again#but i still miss her#& i dont know why#but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win#maybe it's just my roll#say all these nice things n then immediately flip#she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there#& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO...#like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it#but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe#but anyway. again. i stayed#over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay#n she'd do it again#until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH#she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried#but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done#but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster#even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating.#what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me
4 notes
·
View notes