#i actually don't know where this characterisation is coming from btw

[wonderlandsakura]

Wonder's Tale, Day 27: Foundation, part 1

So it's Day 27 of writing my Tale (actual name pending) and today we're going to jump into the next section.

If you read the 26th's update, you will know that this section will have a lot of short bits, so I've decided I'm going to string them all together as reblogs of this post.

Anyway the required cut:

Charles was overwhelmed.

The lady, Alice, he'd met after being thrown out of his job (literally) seemed to be some sort of big shot??

He followed her around as the town liaison (the town liaison!!) showed her around town, talking about tax returns and productivity on a town-wide scale. It mostly flew over his head honestly.

At least the lady's attendants (attendants??!!?) we're nice. Or at least Marcus was, he was quick to explain things when Charles didn't know what to do. As for Martha, well he didn't know if she found his situation hilarious or if she just thought everything was hilarious, it was probably both though.

And now the house, no Mansion they had returned to??

Charles was going to trip over his shoes and never be seen again wasn't he? He hadn't made a deal with the devil had he? Yes, Alice was kind, but why would an Angel come to help him of all people? Also wasn't there something about devils disguising themselves as angels??

What had Charles gotten himself into???

Charles was very calmly looking around for a nice little corner to have a quick little freak out session, where he hopefully would not to be found and made a commotion of, cause that sounded like a sure-fire way to be disappeared, when he was very sadly interrupted from his searching by Martha, clearly very amused, relaying a summons from the lady.

Right it seemed his misery would end sooner than he thought! Wonderful!

Only it didn't and now he has a much too big, much too extravagant set of rooms, as well as a way too well equipped personal (Personal!1!1!) workshop and smithy and equipment and materials that are way too expensive for someone like him that he's honestly afraid to exist in the same room with. Everything was going great!

Charles was just about to take the opportunity to spiral in a nice room for probably the one and only time in his sorry existence when he sadly prevented once again.

This time it was a rumpled, bespectacled boy with messy dark bangs covering his eyes. He was confusing, too casual to be a servant, but too messy to be one of the guests the lady mentioned, surely? Unless this was a test. Yes that was probably it, it was a test and no doubt Charles was already fail-

A loud sigh interrupted his thoughts. Ah he'd been spiralling again hadn't he. Perfect. He was going to die.

"You're not going to die. Unless you continue hyperventilating," says the boy at the door of the room that surely can't be his. Could he read minds? Fuck.

The boy's eyes are searching as they stare at his face for a moment. Looking for something. There is a test isn't there? The boy sighs again. Charles is failing it isn't he??

"Don't worry, there isn't any test that'll determine whether you get to stay. At least not one that judges you on whether you 'stay in your place' or whatever," the boy says, cutting quickly to the quick of the matter, "If there was, all of us other guests probably wouldn't be here anymore."

Seeing the confusion on Charles's face, he continues, scuffing his foot on the carpeted floor as he began to rub the back of his neck, "Alice is just... Philanthropic. She sees someone in need and just helps. She doesn't really think too much about being repaid... I mean she probably said something about you being useful, but it's probably more to keep face and let her get away with it than anything," he ends in a rush.

"So I'm just saying..." He glances back at Charles face and sighs, looking away, "Don't worry to much ok? Alice means well, she won't kick you out for stepping out of line or something..."

He finally looks up and shrugs, saying, "She's nice."

Charles is. Not sure how to feel about the confession. But he does feel a bit lighter. Maybe. So he thanks the boy, who leaves, introducing himself as Arnold.

Charles watches him go before closing the door and flopping on the much too comfy bed. Well maybe it won't be so bad after all. If it's inevitable that he's going to be thrown out (he's not quite sure he believes the other boy, guest or not) he might as well make the most of it while he's here.

[snackleggg]

I feel like a big part of Allura's character being done dirty and feeling inconsistent comes from the writers just not really being able to write female characters very well.

What do I mean?

Well, Voltron's cast has always been primarily male (which makes sense since the og show was from the 80s) but vld gives us quite a few "strong female characters". The problem comes when you notice most of those characters are minor like Krolia or Acxa or Veronica. This means the characters can be depicted as strong and badass with any more indepth characters moments being conveniently off screen (like Krolia & Keith's time on the space whale, Veronica's time worrying over Lance's disappearance & trying to protect earth, Acxa's redemption)

But there are still female characters within the main cast and the contrast between how they are written really gives an insight to the struggle the vld writers had. The contrast between how Pidge and Allura are written is alarming.

Pidge, even after her reveal, is still written in an androgynous masc-leaning way. The characters don't even refer to her with any pronouns for seasons after her "reveal", its only in the last few seasons that the writers seemingly remember Pidge is supposed to use she/her pronouns. This is probably a byproduct of the fact that the archetype Pidge fills (the smart guy) is commonly a masc one.

Meanwhile, Allura's characterisation is butchered because as the designated "main female character" the writers just threw every single character trope at her, probably trying to make her feel "deep" and multifaceted but just made her feel inconsistent, busy, and butchered instead.

She's "the leader" initially when the paladins are first starting out but Shiro fills that role quickly so she is put in a more "support" role. She seems to be some type of "chosen one" considering her ability to connect w/ the balmera, negate haggars magic, and her natural talent w/ alchemy (the explanation seems to be that it's because of her lineage, as Alfor was the best alchemist of his time, but we never seem/know enough about Alfor or his own abilities to get a tangible grasp of what Allura's capabilities are. It's just whatever is convenient to the plot like bringing Lance back to life). She falls into the "damsel in distress" trope at the end of season 1. She's made the center of a very disingenuous and forced feeling love triangle. They try to give her a racism arc??? But fail spectacularly bc they never have like a proper heartfelt conversation about her bias, where it comes from, her recognising the damaging affects it has (the conversation she has with Keith abt it at the end of season 2 feels very "You're one of the good ones" coded which is very icky) and then the writers seemingly forget it ever happened (also it lasts like 3 episodes and consists mainly of her just glaring vaguely in Keith's direction instead of any actual confrontation/conflict between them)

Her character is all over the place. One second she is being put in "traditional" female character tropes (which she as a princess trained in combat, diplomacy, and running an entire society of people, should not be put in/have trouble with) like the damsel in distress and the love triangle. The next, she is depicted as unstoppable and a fix-all maggufin like with her alchemy & connection to quintessence. Then they also try to have her work through personal issues/flaws (which I think is what her racism arc was supposed to be???) But they never go into detail & explore said personal issues (which btw were never really alluded to before hand, kind of came out of nowhere)

TLDR: Allura's character was butchered because the writers thought mashing together a bunch of random character tropes without any deeper thought/development = interesting characterisation when really it just made her inconsistent and confusing.

[baejax-the-great]

Hi! I just wanted to combat that anon (fuck them btw) and say I ADORE your fics.

I’ve plagued everyone to tears in my life over broken oaths and water in the dawn. Your premises never fail to go hard asf. And your prose? It absolutely baffles me how you write so fast when the quality is just next level, and your characterisation of patrochilles? Ugh it scratches such an itch in my brain, you just Get Them.

I recently logged into my ao3 to read sweet victory and realised most of your fics have availability set to logged in users only. Omg I was like a kid on christmas. I have so much reading to do!!!

Your work is incredible, and brings me so much joy. Have a great day!

Hey, thank you! (but also don't worry about that anon. Pretty sure I know who that is and they have a very weak understanding of appropriate behavior (or how to get under my skin for that matter))

Patrochilles crawled into my brain and sleeps there. Prior to them, I can't say I had much interest in Greek myth. I played Hades, someone suggested I read tsoa, I read the Iliad, became obsessed with Ajax somewhere in the middle of that, and two years later, here we are (366k words on the archive???). I like to joke that the muses still wake up every few years and target a random person with "Okay, it's your turn to make sure his glory is eternal like we promised" and then go back to sleep. And possibly the one I got was confused and hit me with the Ajax beam, too.

I also think when Troy (2004) came out, the muses had to work overtime to fix that egregious error

I'm mostly joking. I tend to think of these Greek heroes as the OG comic book characters. Over the years, so many authors have taken a crack at them with their own biases, preferences, and interpretations. Some shit gets retconned. Some new stuff gets canonized. People debate over it. Except those debates end up on jstor instead of reddit or twitter or whatever.

Obviously, though, as one of the current people writing about these guys, I'm right and my cultural biases have no role in influencing my perfect understanding of their characters (/s).

It was interesting going from Hades game, where Patroclus is so snarky and dry, to the Iliad, where when he finally speaks, it's to literally cry with tears streaming down his face to Achilles. I was thinking to myself, well, I'm fine with Supergiant inventing this part of him and I'll keep it for myself. And then he had the best trash talk of all the Achaeans. I had actually put my book down to text a friend "the trash talk in this book absolutely sucks; humans clearly didn't have that down yet" and then the next line was Patroclus telling everyone to shut the fuck up because he was with me on that one. And then he wrecks Hector's shit verbal-style while blind and dying. Love that guy.

Anyway this is all to say many interpretations are good! Except for Troy (2004) and the one where Achilles considered Patroclus his mommy. It's cool to see how people take small details from a 3k yo book and turn it into full characterizations. Less cool to learn just how badly Ajax's original story got warped. I'm super happy these guys inspired me to write so much in the past couple years and that the fandom has honestly been one of the most interesting and engaged that I've come across.

As for the archive-lock, I tend to keep my active WIPs open to guest readers and then lock them after they've been finished for a little while. It's probably not terribly effective, but my hope is this limits some of the constant scraping being done of the archive.

[zedif-y]

hi!! hope you're having a good day! :D

as a zedaph Expert, i wanted to ask for your opinion on how you would characterise him? i feel like i have a vague idea on what he's like but putting it into words is hard...

it's okay if you don't answer btw!!

Hello! took me a bit to get to this ask, my bad! honestly, I struggle with writing his character as well, but I've accumulated some random notes over time that I think might be helpful :]

Notes under the cut, because it's long NDNDND

-his jokes tend to be very witty. his humor isn't sarcastic, he just Says stuff and then moves on. Scar said once that zed's the kind of person where you'll just think huh, yeah, that Is pretty funny! so sometimes his jokes are the kind where it takes a second for you to process it. they're also pretty Out There DKDNDKD

-noises. so many Noises.

-he likes to make jokes at his expense (ex: not having friends, wetting himself, i'm an idiot, etc etc)

(SIDE SHIPPY/CHARACTER RELATIONSHIP NOTE: between him and tango, tango would be the more openly "sentimental" one, in the sense that zed is more likely to make jokes about them not Actually being friends (one example is "we've been friends for too long" + the tango bit in the blockumentary video) despite the fact that Yes, Obviously they are close. I MEAN TANGO HAD AN ANSWER FOR THE "HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN FRIENDS" QUESTION)

(EXTRA EXTRA NOTE: he and tango have a very similar sense of humor. (kind of obvious but . still!) they also like to make fun of each other)

-zed's voice goes Down an octave after laughing too much + he gets teary-eyed from laughing pretty easily.

-not a character voice note, but! zed isnt a very confrontational fighter . he prefers using potions to weaken his opponent before attacking with his sword. that being said, if he knows he's screwed, he just straight up Runs.

-zed is able to remain more level-headed than tango when it comes to puzzles. where tango is very goal-focused and gets frustrated/confused when things don't work out the way he expects, zed tries to work through them step by step instead of trying to solve it in one go. (tango is better at logic puzzles and zed is better at more Visual ones, he needs a good mental image of things)

-he makes connections you really don't think of, most times. he also doesn't like doing things the Normal, Boring way, though if you watch at least one of his videos that becomes apparent Fast.

-despite his silliness, he's actually pretty damn smart!

-he's a pretty affectionate, touchy guy! (based off of when he met skizz for the first time irl<3)

[khaleesiofalicante]

i've noticed that even in tsc no one ever talks about lucifer. we know so little about him. did that kinda inspire you to explore his character? and if it didn't where did you come up with the idea to develop his character so much before we actually get to see him?

i fucking love that btw. that you've written so much about luci and there's so much discussion about him but we haven't even met him properly yet. i'm going to lose my shit when he comes.

one of the most terrifying scenes in fmf was when david found out about lucifer's creepy cameras. it felt so violating (something that david is constantly suffering with). and even in lbaf, he is kinda omnipresent. he's not not here but we know that he's still there.

also in all your stories lucifer is somehow always associated with david. rn we're focusing so much on luci's connection to lance but i'm pretty sure he'll be connected to david too. idk how but i'm sure.

i'm really looking forward to see lucifer's arc. i can't even imagine these people defeating lucifer. because how can you defeat someone you don't even know!

Hope this isn't creepy, but I have always had a weird fascination with Lucifer. The idea of rebelling against God(!!) has always made go a little feral so it's a character I think about a lot.

FMF was definitely one way to explore his characterisation a lot. I know we all know that Lucifer is "powerful" (obviously) but what I wanted to explore was how he uses that power and what he uses it for. Like what his motivations and strategies and fears. It's one of my favourite things to do when I create a character and I was able to do a lot of this in FMF.

So, what do we discover about him based on FMF. We know he isn't loyal to anyone, but he expects loyalty from others. We know he enjoys control - whether it's to know what everyone is doing all the time, or whether it is simply to manipulate someone physically - Nico or emotionally - David to keep them under his thumb. We know he is not obedient and does not like authority figures (youngest child syndrome for real).

One of my favourite things is that he isn't messy. I feel like most villains and princes of hell are. They are either too greedy or too impatient or too chaotic. Lucifer is none of that. He knows exactly what he wants and only goes after it. He has a plan for everything. And he doesn't get emotional or irrational. That's what makes him powerful and dangerous.

My task was to explore ALL of these dimensions in the lbaf world which is a lot easier said than done. One way to do it was...for him to do nothing at all.

Because so far (if you are following the story well and remember what we saw in Azazel's pov ) everything is going EXACTLY how Lucifer wants it to go. He's not even intervening. He's just letting things happen because he knows/sees what will happen. He is letting other people do their job for him while he watches/monitors. That's control. That's power.

And yes. He has a connection to David. Not a literal one. But it's something I came up with for plot reasons because I see David as the character Lucifer would be most fascinated with because David exerts the same kind of control/influence over Max. Despite all the shit he goes through, David always gets what he wants and that's definitely something Lucifer finds powerful and curious - as mentioned in FMF. We'll explore this dynamic in one more fic actually. But more in that latter.

AND YES I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIS ENTRY EITHER. I AM SCARED TO WRITE IT BECAUSE OF THE SELF-PRESSURE.

[goodbyenorthernlights]

I'm curious to know if you've pulled some of Rezo's vibes into your characterisation of Saejid or did you perhaps already intend to draw some inspo from him when coming up with Saejid's premise. :3

Not at all, honestly! I didn't even know Rezo existed when I was developing Saejid- I was vaguely aware of Slayers as an anime I had tried watching as a teenager and only seen the first episode of before going "Ehhh this isn't my thing."

Saejid was originally based on a character I came up with as a teenager for a Gaia Online RP where the antagonists were themed around the idea of childhood fears- the monster under the closet, that sort of thing- and proto!Saejid (his name has been lost to the sands of time/my memory, alas) was meant to be the anthropomorphic personification of Iatrophobia (the fear of doctors) because finding doctors scary struck me as something kids do a lot. So I had this concept of a sadistic doctor archetype already just lying around.

(Proto!Saejid also was based off of a random drawing I'd found online, probably via searching something like "anime doctor" on photobucket and using what I found as a FC, because that was what you did on Gaia Online. Art theft was unfortunately widespread and not recognized as theft. This is actually one of the reasons I eventually stopped using the website for RP entirely tbh, once I learned more about art theft and why it's a problem I wasn't able to strike a comfortable balance between "most RPs expect you to provide a picture of your character" and. Not committing art theft about it. Anyway, tangent!

And proto!Saejid's FC wasn't of Rezo btw, it was... Some white haired anime dude in a labcoat with a :| expression that I think came from a yaoi manga originally.)

Anywho I had this concept lying around and I remember we wound up discussing the concept of Dragonsbayne as a farming sim with the characters as marriage candidates, because I was playing a lot of Rune Factory 4, and for a protag I made up this gender-neutral design I called Luka...

don't ask me how the pattern on their scarf works And Luka I had the concept that it would turn out they would be an amnesiac homunculus, and so I figured I'd make up a character who would have been Luka's creator.

I remembered this vague concept I had still floating in my brain and, never one to turn down the opportunity to draw a bishonen, wound up designing Saejid.

I didn't get into Slayers, and Rezo, until late 2021- digging thru my files, it looks like Saejid's original concept art was drawn sometime in February 2020.

isn't the ms paint glorious

Anyway, Rezo and Saejid do have some noticeable similarities- both of them are "mad scientist" archetypes with kind of a "usually cool-headed intellectual" thing going on, and both of them are very manipulative characters. And also they're both anime pretty boys. So it's likely that there's going to be some more overlap in characterization when I write either of them.

That said they are actually still very different characters in my head! I think the key is in their storylines/motivations. Saejid is a character who starts out in a very good and secure place for him, personally, where he has power over other people and everything he needs and wants. When his world starts changing and the fae community starts opening up to other people, he panics and schemes and conspires to keep his position from potentially changing- even though his behaviour ultimately puts him in a worse place than he'd have probably wound up if he'd just gone with the flow.

Basically he's like a billionaire who's mad that he might have to start paying more taxes and giving his employees health insurance.

Rezo on the other hand... My personal take is admittedly controversial in the fandom but I see him as someone who has spent his entire life struggling in the literal and metaphorical dark under the manipulations of an outside force, fruitlessly pursuing something he thinks will release him from his own misery. He's someone stuck in a genuinely bad situation and trying ruthlessly to get out of it.

If I had to compare Saejid to a Slayers character... Rezo would be in there in terms of demeanor and methodology, but so would Halcyform and a touch of Hellmaster. But in terms of motivation Saejid's, I think, actually closer to being the Supreme Elder from Slayers TRY. He wants to keep a "safe" status quo and doesn't care who suffers because of it, as long as they aren't someone he sees as "his people." (And by the end maybe not even that.)

[limoncats]

hey, remember the tag on this post?

you know what? i'm gonna explain.

quick apology if the post sounds weird, it is currently 1 minute away from 11 pm as i'm typing this sentence.

ig this is a vent? anyway long post up ahead so !!

also apologies if this sounds stupid.

btw this post is not a self-diagnosis post

TWs for: mentions of self-h@rm, discussion of trauma

if these trigger you, don't read this! or do, but just be warned.

okay, so,

am i disabled?

alright, so am i physically disabled? no, not to my knowledge.

am i mentally disabled? i have no official diagnosis, but i am speculating. the speculation in question? this whole post

i have speculations that i have Asperger's Syndrome and possible selective mutism

Asperger's Syndrome

okay so. let me show you the symptoms and i'll explain

according to nationwidechildrens.org, the symptoms for Asperger's are:

i'll go over each one and tell you my experiences with each

now uh. i don't actually know what this means ;; but if this counts, i'll put it here: whenever i'm supposed to say basic things like "good morning," or "thank you," i can't seem to verbally? like the words don't seem to be able to come out of my mouth. it actually is more like that i don't even think to say them, so i don't. i remember this whole thing resulted in a fucking argument i had with my mother and her friend JUST because i didn't say good morning to him. as you can imagine, it was pretty traumatic. i think this may actually be more of "struggling to understand social cues," but eh.

i– yeah i can understand emotions usually (if i can clearly see it/tell based off of a person's facial expression what emotion they're feeling.) and i think my expressiveness is fine? idfk however kill me.

i can understand gestures just fine, unless i don't clearly understand what the person means? it's like if my mum points to something but i don't know where she's pointing to because i can't tell (and then she gets mad at me ;;). it might just be a thing on my mum's part but honestly i don't fucking know.

yes! irl the only thing i talk about with my school friends is CoAD since they like it too, and it's usually super awkward when i try to talk to an irl friend who doesn't know/enjoy CoAD so ;; and if they don't, sometimes i tell them about it and keep rambling on and on about it. now regarding the "convos revolving around them," part, i'm also pretty sure that's a yeah too? like yk when i ask a question like "guys what (insert thing here) am i"? i feel that i do that pretty frequent and i think it counts so ?

nah i think my speech is fine

mfw CoAD

auhhh???? i don't know i don't have memory of it so i think no

uh. if getting mad at my mum for making me do chores while i'm having fun either watching a video, talking to friends or drawing counts then uh. yeah

oh ofc. like i memorised how tall Wadanohara's familiars (Memoca, Dolphi, Fukami and Samekichi) are and when Yonaka's birthday is instead of memorising what the word "verbatim" means (it took me some time to memorise)

i don't think i'm that clumsy + my handwriting is fine and it's easy to write so

ohhhh Hm. so i can hold emotions pretty fine (it does sorta hurt to hold in so much anger) but sometimes they do come out a little and i end up like punching my thighs or something. it's happened at school before (yes, i've actually punched my thighs out of anger before)

uhhhhhhh??????? i feel like i'd have to get reeeeally specific for this one and i'm not feeling it right now

now to lights and touch i'm fine, but sound? lemme explain. so i can listen to like a video at (somewhat) loud volume while at home, but if i overhear like loud music coming from a club i get uncomfortable and i sometimes cry

so that's that for the Asperger's part, now let's move on to:

Selective mutism

i'll format it basically the same as the previous section so.

according to NHS, symptoms of selective mutism are:

"characterised by a sudden stillness and frozen facial expression when they're expected to talk to someone outside of their comfort zone" is so real ngl

anyway

yeah i do get nervous. i assume i look so too

my mum tells me i come off as rude, she says like, "hey you can't just stay silent! that's really rude!" wow mum i feel so much better! (<- lie) also i'm pretty sure i come off as sulky because whenever i frown around my mum's friends, once we're separated for something, my mum always says "suratına asma," which basically means "stop frowning." you have no idea how angry i get when i hear that my god.

nah i'm like. 99.9% sure that i come off as the opposite of clingy

yeah i sometimes describe myself as shy (sometimes is emphasised because i usually don't like calling myself "shy" because it makes me feel cringe.)

i. don't know lol. i guess so yeah? yeah i think so actually

i'm not aggressive (at least not physically or verbally), but i do get pissed when my mum asks me. ofc i don't let it out because i don't want to fucking assault mother

now i didn't include this because i don't think it's a disorder, but whenever i go through something traumatic (or the aftermath of something traumatic), i question if i'm real? like i think i sorta put myself in this sort of delusion that i'm living in a nightmare i can't wake up from whenever i go through something traumatic

also i hate looking in a mirror due to questioning who i'm looking at

i still question who i was looking at in the mirror that one day to this day.

i'm not sure if this is dissociation because i don't understand the definition of dissociation, or if it's part of a disorder. i did suspect DPDR, but i don't know i don't think so ? i'm also not sure if this is just puberty with the whole "questioning who you are" thing (though i think that's in terms of identity, not fucking questioning your REALITY 💀)

have i tried getting a diagnosis?

yes, i have, actually, so let me explain:

i wrote a text document to my dad about my speculations on having Asperger's, but he just laughed it off and said "i've met people with autism and you're NOTHING like them haha!!!" which was just. okay dad.

he suggested i tell my mother and i agreed

now this is when things go downhill 😭😭

so i told my mum when i went back to hers and she also basically had a similar response but she agreed to get it diagnosed one day.

then some time later she tells me that i might have to wait 2 years to get my diagnosis so 💀💀💀

and then one day i start telling her that one of my school classmates recommend talking therapy and all of a sudden she gets all hostile like "why do you need to label yourself? what difference does it make? it's unnecessary" which is VERY funny considering this woman is a FUCKING SOCIOLOGY LECTURER WITH A PHD.

we've had a couple arguments about it and it still pisses me off. she even practically made fun of me to her friend's husband when i went to The Netherlands last week and she was like, "yeah i think her generation has a weird obsession with needing to label themselves?" mum do you hear yourself. oh i'm sorry i want to improve my mental health by knowing what's up with me and attempting to get support.

SPEAKING of trying to get support once diagnosed, during one of our arguments over if diagnosis really does anything at all, in response to her saying, "what do you do with it?", i said, "i can well. try and get support ??" and then HER ASS responds with, "THERE IS NO SUPPORT."

FUCK YOU MEAN THERE IS NO SUPPORT???? YOU'RE A SOCIOLOGIST YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THERE IS.

i haven't told either of my parents of my speculations for having selective mutism, though i feel it'll just go the same as what happened with the Asperger's shit so

i think my parents just have stereotypes of autism that i don't fall into so thErEfoRE YoU'Re noT aUtistiC!!!!11!1!!

anyway so that's practically it. thanks for reading what absolute insanity i've gotten myself into, and also what state my mental health is in!!! (ofc this isn't the entirety of my mental health lol.)

have a good day/afternoon/evening/night ♡

— limoncats

[kpchrs]

What's your favorite characterisation decision in LiS?

Do I even have one

Hello, Anon! ... Whoever you are 😏 I don't really have the energy to compose very detailed and organised writing right now but I hope you can still enjoy it. Btw, people might not know this but I actually... never played beyond S1 LOL I want to, but buying games is not my priority right now. So, Sean? Alex? Who? xD

Well, what I thought of first is Chloe, as a whole. The fact that she is so... flawed. She's hardly my favourite character, but I will always defend her characterisation. (But her biggest fans do it faster than me so I'm never needed. And, also they are better than me at that anyway lol)

It's okay that people don't like her, but I still want people to understand her and know where she comes from. That her attitude comes from the place of trauma. People want other people to process trauma perfectly, but that's not a realistic expectation of ALL individuals with trauma. People who love and hate Chloe are people who understand that and dismiss that respectively.

My favourite characterisation of Chloe - people may be surprised - is when she says this: "I gotta blame somebody. Otherwise it’s all my fault. Fuck that."

Yes, yes, it's an awful thing to say. Some people hate her for that and that's valid.

But I just nodded along when I first encountered that in my first gameplay. Well, it's partly because I was in a very head-empty state when I first played. I only realised it wasn't okay to say when I searched for people's opinions. But I also nodded along because I understand her somewhat (but I won't elaborate on why because I don't really understand the reason much either, but it's related to her immaturity and brattiness lol)

In her context though, it's more that she's so angry and hurt by life; she directs it outwards, not inwards, so it will suck less. Piling it up inside is heavy and stuffy and painful. Everyone needs catharsis. It's easier to let out your anger at something concrete, something you can see, something clear. Which is why she blames everyone. I think that's very realistic.

One of my two top favourite characters in LiS is Victoria. She's a total Queen Bitch archetype, you know the drill. The first thing I thought of was when Max found her anime figurine, it made me laugh so hard until now. I love Nerd Victoria. But that's the silly fav.

My ACTUAL favourite is in the alternate universe and she said this to Max:

"You're not pissed at me, right? Right?" and "Max, if you’re mad, just tell me, k?"

As we know, Victoria really "hates" Max. She is also very insecure. Makes you wonder, hm, what makes her scared + reverent of AU Max that way? It gives you the other side of Victoria that is really fun to think about. The root, I'm sure, is still her insecurity.

I have a belief that that's not how Victoria acts around Nathan, her closest best friend. With Nathan, Victoria gets to be her real self. That Victoria is Victoria who half kisses ass and half wants to be liked by this... AU Max. Kinda similar to her attitude towards Jefferson, I guess.

She seems like a lot less opportunistic and manipulative with Max though. I think this is because Jefferson is the road to her ambition and Victoria did everything she can to achieve that.

Max doesn't/can't give her that so why does she kiss ass? I think in this alternate universe, Victoria likes her genuinely, not just because Max is the new Queen Bee or something so she bows to her. AU Max is distant and seems to be a master of push and pull (unconsciously?), that's why Victoria looks like she's walking on eggshells lol

Honorary mention is Maxine. Max is the most realistic character in LiS, in my opinion. Other characters are such archetypes that some people thought Max was just a self-insert character. If you dig deep into her character you will realise that... Max is just a normal girl. Do you know how hard it is to write someone like her?

Max is not an extreme character, she's in the middle, but she still has a distinct voice. She's grey and realistic. I don't have the energy to elaborate more though lmao

Some people hate it, but I really LOVE that in the AU, Max is so different, but somewhat the same. She's only more blunt, doesn't take bullshit from anyone, and more bitchy too. And this should be because of her self-confidence or when it becomes negative, it becomes borderline arrogance. This is the Max who is not dampened by guilt and grief. How very interesting.

Now everyone knows that I'm obsessed with the alternate universe. I don't really make it a secret though.

And wait, what's up with me and bitchy characters? lol

(Nathan's characterisation is the shittiest decision the devs ever did.)

Thank you for the ask!

Kris

[nostalgia-tblr]

For the gets real fanfic writer ask: 🎈💞💋💌

Have a nice day!

Ooh, I'll have to go see what these are! Apologies in advance for if I accidentally answer the wrong emoji (I've done that before)!

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

It does change, I know/think it has changed. People used to said was a bit poetry-like, and they don't say that any more so it's not just me who thinks that. BUT this is not a bad thing! These days I worry a lot less about individual words but that means I'm able to write longer fics (especially in the past year or so) and I feel less awkward with explaining plots and whatever. I do still overthink the words a bit (maybe? writing is ABOUT overthinking words, isn't it? so it's probably fine?), and I'm sure nobody else cares whether I do this or not but I do stop and spend several minutes going "I need a word that starts with this letter and it has this many syllables and ideally ends in a sound like this one." Because it's a poem! Except not!

I also like alliteration and puns! And using words that kind of rhyme but they also don't! I have also got better at smut in terms of it's now a lot easier for the reader to work out who's put what where due me being less vague and more willing to just call a cunt a cunt. :D

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The characters! That's the whole point of fanfic for me, as I am not vastly into worldbuilding stuff generally. As a general rule I won't a write a character into a fic if I can't 'hear' their voice in my head. (Possibly wrongly, I tend to consider canon characterisation work 'good' or not based on how quickly I feel like I can replicate the character's voices myself.) And when reading fic the thing most likely to put me off is if the characters don't sound like themselves. They can do things that seem a bit odd for them, or extreme, but they have to sound like themselves while they're doing them.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

I have done this one here earlier :)

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

The next chapter of what I lazily refer to on tumblr as 'The AU' is part 5 but after THAT it's chapter 6 which is where the murdering starts! I have vastly oversold the murdering aspect of this fic (at least in terms of the number of murders) but I do feel like this is where things finally start to kick off. This particular murdery bit is actually what I was referring to here when I said things had gone a bit darker than intended.

It's entirely possible that half the readers will just nope out of the story once the killing starts but that's a them problem not a me problem, and if people can't appreciate a spot of surprisingly-romantic murder then... well they're probably very well-adjusted members of society, now that I think about it?

And also I like the last line of the entire fic. I wrote that bit months ago and I still like it, and I think that's a good sign. The final scene sets out how things stand now that [SPOILER], and various people feel emotions about various things, and then I just sort of... do this face: 😉 Not me myself, obviously, but like. The story. If the story had eyes and a face. (Nobody is allowed to say they're disappointed when they get to that last line, btw. You all have to pretend you think it was really good and a wise choice on my part. You're also not allowed to ask what happens after that, because I'm not letting this thing get any longer than it already has to be.)

[revive-the-fandom]

Genuine question. Why do think jack frost doesn't like pranks?

sorry for leaving this so long, i was originally just gonna link this post and be done with it but i kinda want a second go at explaining it??? if not for anyone else then for my own sake lol

tbh that first post kinda reads as juvenile and defensive now that i re-read it...

i'll link @rotg-goc-headcanons idk if you were the anon or not but i figure you might be interested in a... more coherent explanation..

in the original post i got a bit side-tracked trying to prove one thing over the other. but i don't think this is a black/white situation in actuality. people are full of contradictions and i think in trying to prove that jack 100% at all times did not like pranks was working against me rather than for me.

so, i want to change my statement:

i disagree with the popular opinion (present in most fics and a lot of other fanworks) that jack is the prankster archetype.

i see a lot of people claiming that jack would be the type to set up pranks just for the fun of it. the kind of stuff you'll find on old school youtube where people run into clingfilm or replace icing with toothpaste etc. personally i find that doesn't match up with the canon version of events.

in canon, jack's pranks are very specific - they are a reaction to a specific person, and as such are tailored for that situation and individual.

jack has been seen to use pranks for the following:

to play with other kids and entice them into a game

to encourage the side-lined kid to join the game (and to overcome stereotypes and implied bullying)

as a defence in verbal fights

to deflect attention away from himself

as a distraction strategy in a literal fight

to calm down/cheer up/distract others in stressful situations

to bond with those around him

i think it's important to his character that he's not extreme in his use of pranks as some fanworks might suggest.

jack never seems to use pranks to draw attention to himself, or to make another person uncomfortable. i saw a few responses to my original response that mentioned that jack only really uses his pranks as a way to bring joy to others not to himself (i think it was @giantgirl253 but the tagging doesn't seem to work).

if you think about it, him being the prankster archetype that he's constantly characterised as doesn't mesh with him being good with kids or having the 'fun' centre. he would just come off as annoying (which i suppose is the most likely reason for why he gets written like this - to explain why bunny and north have a somewhat negative first impression of him.

ACTUALLY i think i may have stumbled onto the main problem with how jack is characterised.

a lot of people, in universe and in audience, tend to believe what they're told about jack rather than how we see him behave.)

i'd argue that jacks use of pranks is more in line with this dumb meme:

i'm also gonna reiterate that jack goes through a major character development (ofc he does he's the mc) i bring this up for two reasons:

firstly, bc a lot of people cite that first scene in moscow as a major reason as to why he should be characterised as a prankster when its showing him at his most immature, insecure and selfish point

secondly, bc the scene in moscow is a situation in which jack is still stuck in a neglectful and harmful environment which is eroding his ability to see things clearly (mostly affecting his ability to accept responsibility, something he was capable of in the prologue and the flashback, but not in the first half of the movie). his pranks are as much a (subconscious) cry for help as they are a coping mechanism for his lack of corporeality.

(btw i'm sticking with my original claim that north and sandy are the pranksters of the group. jack just gets carried along bc he's a good sport like that, and bunny... is competitive and insecure lol)

tldr: its not that i think jack dislikes pranks per se, but that jack has specific terms for how, when and who he uses his pranks on. he's not a cluster of personality traits that go full throttle at all times, he knows when to stop, when and where his actions change from playful to cruel.

[mishkakagehishka]

I thought that other person was bad, but gee looks like even some fellow long-term players don't even know the lore (or just don't care and proceed to spread misinformation around the community).

Before you say anything, yes I know Mika is into horror stuff but do you really think this means he's a killer and sucj? That's like the whole "video games cause violence" argument, just because someone likes horror and gore DOES NOT mean they will go straight out and kill someone! Maybe come back when Mika (or any ES character for that matter) ACTUALLY kills someone to write your clearly self indulgent stuff cause we should really stick to canon in order to avoid spreading misinformation and confusing new fans because we will then get all these types of ooc and freaky fics and fanart because the new fans will come and assume it's can go by reading your stuff and any long-term fans that produce similar content.

(This is enstars-gatekeeper btw. I may make a new sideblog to get rid of people like you in the ES community)

I'm not even gonna entertain you with a proper answer, I just wanted to laugh at you for "or any ES character for that matter" what alternate reality did you drop from?😭 Madara, Kanata, Kohaku, they have all canonically killed people. Kohaku is an assassin, for crying out loud. If you want to count "making someone commit suicide" as murder, you can also shove the student council in that box. You're so funny accusing me of not knowing lore when you believe no ES character has killed😭😭😭

And yeah, it is self-indulgent. What the fuck else do you think the point of fanfiction is. And also i DO stick to canon🥰 There's this thing called "reading between lines" and "assuming from the information given" which allows fanfic writers to take a character and say "Well, nothing points to him not doing/liking/behaving like this, so~" and still write canon-compliant fics by filling in the gaps in a character's characterisation using the knowledge we have already🥰 I'm not using Mika liking gore to explain him being a serial killer. I'm using him canonically treating human life as worthless and his reaction to thinking he killed Ritsu to assume what he'd be like if he were a serial killer. AU stands for "alternate universe", yknow. Like the one you fell out of where the ES cast is filled with saints.

And God I wish people would draw freaky stuff inspired by my fics. Send me links if you find any, I love freaky fanart and fics.

L + ratio + kung pow penis + you don't even know the lore of the game you're trying to gatekeep + you keep returning on the weekends (friendless, much?) + for every ask you send me, I'm writing one more fic about Mika killing people

[tinyetoile]

Ty for the correction on the misinformation about Ken Penners. Also if you are ever open I would LOVE to hear your insights into how botw link's stoicism in response to his trauma detracts from Zelda's characterisation?

(personally I always found that it sold the isolation between the two of them more. He can barely even express his emotions towards her. She is reaching out, she is trying so damn hard, and yet he cannot reach out to meet her. Just like with her father. Just like with the goddess. She tries the best she can, and it is just NEVER enough.)

(I also think this is why post awakening Link is more expressive in what we see of him being expressive - he doesn't have all his memories back, he isn't living constantly with the knowledge that if he slips he'll fail. It's why BOTW link succeeds where his last self failed - He's no longer terrified of feeling. Of reaching out. Zelda reaches out to him, and she succeeds. She talks to him, she guides him, and together they achieve victory. Despite everything, despite all the failure and the pain, they succeed.)

(like don't get me wrong it's not Spirit Tracks w/ Zelda literally possessing a phantom in order to protect Link, and Link being SO excited to drive a train for her, but like. Idk I would love to hear your side bc you always have such insightful thoughts and I really respect and value your opinions, esp on this stuff!!)

(also spirit tracks is the best loz game bc it let Zelda just fuckin. Chill out. She just hung out w/ link it's great. They just vibe at the train)

LOL part of my motivation for correcting the Ken Penders thing is that usually when I see people "correct" it, they ALSO attribute it to the wrong person? Like I'll see people say "Ian Flynn designed Scourge!" but while he WAS the writer for the issue where Scourge came to be, he wasn't the one who came up with the design- that was Patrick.

I also don't play Sonic. Why I know these things is beyond me. As for the Zelda thing, well...

I ended up taking a lil while to reply to this because I was having trouble getting my thoughts in order about it and putting those thoughts into words. I wanna preface this by saying: I absolutely agree with your angle here, and one of my main problems (personally) is that I simultaneously know what they were trying to do with the characters, while also not having that come across to me in the moment at all.

Because like, I genuinely think that Link's muteness and stoicism being a trauma response is an incredible idea. It's a genius way to incorporate his "silent protagonist" schitck in-universe, and provides depth to his character in doing so. However, the problem is that in execution, it doesn't come across that way.

The best comparison I can come up with is how, when the hunger games movies came out, everyone was complaining about the lead actress's performance and how she never emoted, but in actuality she was giving a very book accurate performance- Katniss was the type of character who never showed her emotions on her face. And this was fine in the books, but when the medium was changed to film, rather than having that come across, people just thought the acting was bad.

That's the same feeling that Link's stoicism gives me, the way it's presented comes across as less "forcing himself to silently bear these burdens and never let them show to anyone so he can be a pillar of strength" and more "no thoughts head empty while other people are talking".

And the reason I think this detracts from Zelda's character is because I think one of the two big yardsticks for measuring Zelda's quality as a character is: how well the game sells her relationship with Link (not in a romantic sense btw). I don't inherently ship the two, and will thus not be interested in their relationship simply because they're Link and Zelda. I need to be convinced on a bond between them every new incarnation. But the reason it's Zelda's character that's dependant on this is because Link is the player character that we spend time with, so even if he's completely nothing, we still get attached to him by virtue of having him be how we interact with the world. But Zelda is restricted to her interactions with Link, or at least what Link sees of her, so even if Zelda has tons of character, if I'm not convinced on her relationship with Link, makes her feel worse to me.

This is why I think ST Zelda and SS Zelda are the best ones: They convince you that Link and Zelda are friends, that they care about eachother, that they enjoy eachother's company, that they'd hang out even outside of their assigned roles as "Hero" and "Princess", and it's Link's reactions to her that sell it.

In ST, they start out as strangers, but you spend the entire game watching them grow closer to eachother, become friends, and what makes it work is that it's not JUST Zelda who's selling you on this relationship, it's Link's reactions to her, the little laugh he gives after she possesses a Phantom for the first time, their amazing silly high-five after beating Byrne, the way his first reaction after having her land on him was to smile because she'd gotten her body back- can you imagine how weird the game would feel if Link never emoted?

In SS, this incarnation of Link is easily the most expressive "adult" Link, and they use this to show you how much he cares for Zelda. You IMMEDIATELY know what his relationship with her is like from the way he smiles at her wake-up letter alone. Even if the game didn't tell you they're childhood friends, you'd be able to know because the nature of their relationship comes through in every single interaction they have with one another.

Meanwhile in BotW, they tried SO HARD to give Zelda depth and these interesting aspects to her character and her relationship to her role as a princess, and then her interactions with Link fall flat and it drags her down so badly, especially because this relationship is supposed to be the focal point of the game. It ruins the entire climax of the final memory, where watching Link die unlocks her powers, because their relationship feels hollow to me, and as a result it makes Zelda feel weirdly... callous in this moment? Instead of coming across as desperation, as actually witnessing the atrocities of the calamity firsthand and finally tapping into her power because of it, I was left wondering if Zelda just didn't care about anybody outside of her assigned love interest at franchise. Which is absolutely not what I should have been feeling or what was trying to be conveyed, but was the taste the scene leaves in my mouth regardless.

I think what it ultimately boils to is: I really fucking hate the cutscene where Link saves Zelda from the Yiga, because that's where I think the ball was dropped. Allow me to explain. More than anything else, what should have been a massive turning point in Zelda's feelings for Link as they change from animosity to seeing him a new light, just comes across as hetero trite, where the writers just shortcut to "these characters are in love now" because one is a boy and the other is a girl so OBVIOUSLY we're supposed to assume a romance between them. It's like Zelda suddenly remembered they're supposed to be love interests because Link... did his job. Being her guard is his job, and protecting her like that is the reason he was following her around beforehand even when she didn't like it. It makes it feel like Zelda somehow never realized she was in danger before or something??? This image from OSP's romantic subplot trope talk almost perfectly encapsulates what I mean here:

The moment that SHOULD have been the turning point to their relationship should have been a moment where Zelda sees Link not acting as her stoic knight, a moment where she sees beneath the front he's put up to protect himself and realize they might actually be able to get along and that she's been projecting onto him and being harsh. Because Link being a seemingly flawless knight is one of the causes of her own insecurities and why she can't stand him at first, so having Link perfectly embodying that idea should not be what makes her fall for him!!! It should be the opposite! I hate this cutscene so much!

And even though the rest of the memories are spent trying to build this relationship, the fact that this was what made Zelda go from hard tsun to instant dere just sours the rest of their interactions for me. Not to mention the implication, if you get all the memories, that after everything Link just... goes back to being Zelda's silent, stoic knight? Which feels worse the more I think about it.

This probably ended up pretty incoherent and I'm also probably wrong about a lot of things, but the main thing is that, while I understand (and even like!) what they intended to do with Link and Zelda in theory, it doesn't come across (TO ME) in practice, so the whole thing is at odds with itself in my head. In the end I'm pretty sure this is just a me problem though, and probably me trying to rationalize why a character I should, by all rights, really like, just doesn't click for some reason.

BTW somewhat off topic but the second yardstick I have for measuring the quality of Zeldas is "how divorced is she from being a dignified princess" because the less dignified Zelda is, the better. ST is another good, emblematic one here because Zelda's freak-out completely shatters any such perception of her and immediately makes you attached to her, while her predecessor Tetra kinda falls flat in the last part of WW because the instead she transforms from "Tetra" to "Zelda" she immediately loses all of her character and becomes a demure dignified princess who waits to be kidnapped by Ganondorf (though thankfully she recovers some of her personality in the final battle and for the sequel). This is also why I don't care for TP Zelda as said before: We don't see her outside of her capacity as "dignified princess", though that's also because she has like five minutes of screentime, three of which are spent on exposition.

Even more off topic but man, it really sucks that WW and ST are the only games that have Zelda actually fight the final boss alongside you? I'm so shocked that this didn't immediately become the series standard for every game afterwards because it's so good.

Sorry for all this negativity, but also thank you so much for allowing me to exorcise this demon from my body.

[kafkasmjjw]

Hi! I have a question since you said you read my fic. Idk if you remember it well or not, but I'm wondering what you thought of the Homme Fatale ending? I feel like people were kind of split on it but the one really critical comment I got was someone thinking I wrote their sex dynamic wrong (which was like, ok well thanks for tolerating like 20 chapters of that lol) So just wondering if you have any takes on how the story turned out! If you don't mind giving your take

??????????????????????????? "idk if you remember it well or not" ??? that fic lives in my brain ? i screamed about it on twitter every time you updated it. (a lot of people in the twt sfh fandom spoke about it and they only had nice things to say btw <3)

I actually suck at leaving comments; I don't know how to articulate just how much I enjoy the things I read and I get scared my feedback comes off as underwhelming. but anything and everything you write is so in-character and some of the closest things to canon I've read. you have no idea how happy I get when you post, literally anything?? you have such a good and unique understanding of their dynamic, sexual or not. I just adore your take on them and the way you characterise them in every fic to suit the setting (PRESSURE POINTS?? NO ANGEL SPEAKS TO ME???? HELLO?? HOW DID YOU DO THAT?)

as for homme fatale, it's HONESTLÉ one of my favourite fics in the fandom. OBJECTIVELY one of the best fics in the fandom. the pace was so realistic and true to the plot. the psychological aspect was written so so so well (especially the scene where jongwoo hallucinates his father - that was IT for me). and the buildup to the ending was INSANE. the ending itself was the only way I could see it going; it was canon-typical and sexy and absolutely glorious. ch19 starting with ep10's ending and then shifting to your own version ?? SEXY. fed into jongwoo's "author"ness. the whole thing is a masterpiece, a fandom classic, and I'm honoured to have read it.

also, the sexual dynamic was the farthest thing from 'wrong'. and I too would want moonjo to spit in my mouth.

the hits and kudos speak for themselves. please don't let anyone's unwarranted criticism get to you, especially when it's coming from people who (no offence) most likely don't even understand the characters properly.

[finnicks]

Hi... I was just curious about something.

You ship Klaus and Elena (loved your fic btw) may I ask why? What do you like about their dynamic?

Hey nonnie! Thanks so much for giving my fic a go and loving it! 💛

Honestly, I really like the ship for how dysfunctional and fucked up it is. I don't ship it for genuine romance (if I wanted a functional, genuinely-in-love Elena ship, it wouldn't be with Klaus). I ship it for the dynamic—it's a very interesting power imbalance where I feel that the power shifts between the two of them depending on what's at play.

I really like how they're both manipulators who care about the people in their lives. Elena has a much healthier way of taking care of her loved ones, even if most of her decisions only feed her martyrdom. Klaus, on the other hand, is so messed up and toxic that I really enjoy how he shows his love for his family by being an obsessive shitstain to them. They seem like polar opposites—Elena good, Klaus bad—but I think that they're quite similar. They will do anything to protect those they care about, even if it means suffocating them.

I always base my characterisation of Elena in seasons 1-2 of TVD as I felt that was when she was a great independent character separate from her male love interest and I always hone in on her characteristics from those seasons to go up against Klaus. She's cunning and emotionally manipulative and someone who I think could understand that Klaus is, at his very core, just a lost boy who wants to be loved. (Except, no—she doesn't want to love him nor does she think he completely deserves it after everything he's chosen to do of his own accord.) I also believe Elena is someone who has untreated depression and suicidal tendencies—and much like how Stefan pointed out in season 2, she will put herself in harm's way before thinking of any other alternative because somewhere, deep down, Elena doesn't think she's worthy of living considering those who have died to protect her (or simply died near her because that's how it played out). Klaus wants to live but doesn't know how to, so he kills every relationship he ever has with his violence; Elena doesn't want to live, but she keeps nurturing every relationship around her because that's who she is and a part of her may believe she needs to knit her friends together so they're not alone like she is.

I kind of base my Klaus characterisation on season 2 of TVD and some of the Originals where he's not woobified (I dislike the narrative always celebrating him and romanticising him and almost getting there with unpacking his toxic traits but never actually punishing him or making him work to be a better person—I don't believe he's a good person while the narrative in The Originals kind of does) because I absolutely adore how he was someone everyone feared in season 2 of TVD. He's callous, powerful, charismatic, has the best tunnel vision, and is a self-fulfilling prophecy because here he is running from Mikael while becoming him.

Their differences are also fascinating. Klaus is ready to do the utmost terrible things to save those he cares about (to them and to others) while Elena never really crosses that line completely imo. Klaus embraces his inner monster while he fails and is almost scared of being the human boy he used to be (thanks to childhood trauma) while I feel like Elena toes the line at embracing her inner monster and holds onto her humanity quite steadily.

I could probably go on and on, but I don't want to bore you! I hope that gives you an inkling as to why I like them so much. I wasn't sure I would in the beginning (I always like to remember that Klaus has hurt the people Elena cares about, and that's something I don't believe Elena could ever truly move past) but I really enjoy messed-up dynamics and exploring how two people could come together to respect one another and be vulnerable without forgetting some of the unforgivable shit that one has done to the other. People are complex beings and I like to dig into that.

[jennyandvastraflint]

C: How did you come up with the title to "Until the dance ends"?

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

P: Where did you find the most inspiration for your story "Halloween Wars"?

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

:)

(I'm so sorry, I am too tired now to read the Strax fic. But I read the beginning/introduction and I already love him for wanting to conjur some celebration for Jenny <3 I am sure he'll do great!)

Ahhhh, thank u for the ask!

C: How did you come up with the title to "Until the dance ends"?

Well, originally I saw a TikTok of two people dancing and one of them not showing up in a mirror, and that kicked off the initial thought process, and since I wanted them to be dancing, it's basically "Until the dance ends, they're happy together". It kinda fits as well with them having limited time (and Vastra making the music last longer because she isn't ready to face it ending) and all, I think!

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Gosh, I love Turn Loose the Mermaids because it's such a sweet AU and I managed to put so many other characters I love in! And mermaid!Vastra sparks so much joy (Hi, Jenny's obsession with mermaids, I see you <3)

A few other favourites would include Butterfly Queen (it's so fucking fluffy and adorable okkkk), Like Leaves Falling (the healing for me because I've put in personal experiences), a kindest heart made me believe the world as I wish it to be (I'm a sucker for hair braiding as a love language and I am a touch-starved bastard), and Your beauty never ever scared me (I do love me a good fairytale AU... There's a reason I have like four published on my AO3).

P: Where did you find the most inspiration for your story "Halloween Wars"?

Well, I had the concept of Strax throwing a party that escalates into fighting lying around since shortly after Halloween 2020, but I never got round to writing it (said WIP would have included Jenny trying to get Vastra to dress up as a mermaid with a wig of long golden locks btw, and Vastra vehemently refusing, and Strax stealing the wig because he thinks he looks awesome with it...)

Apart from that, it was a lot of spontaneous ideas in the moment. I kinda sat down and wrote 9k in a day, so I don't remember that much XD I did go through a list of Doctor Who monsters to find a whole bunch I'd like to include. Fitting them all in was a bit of a struggle at first (also, I noticed a lot of the ones I had show up began with "S".... Sontaran, Silence, Slitheen, Sea Devil, Skithra... Oops), but I think it turned out fairly well!

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

Not at all. It might have to do with my most "popular" fics being in for instance Legend of Korra and The Owl House spaces, which is y'know, slightly annoying when my main business is Paternoster Gang. And from those, I know with archive locking lots of my stuff, I lost guest readers, so many of my older works will show up with more kudos despite imo being nowhere near the quality and depth in characterisation of more recent fics. It's a bit disheartening, honestly, to see the works for some side fandoms be my most popular ones, and it's actually made me stop writing for most of them entirely. Like sure, I do wish my fics were read more, but I am (painfully) aware that the Paternoster fandom consists of like. Maybe three dozen people? Compared to that, LOK with KyaLin has a huge following, and TOH or The Dragon Prince are fairly recent shows and thus receive more attention. But honestly, I treasure each kudo and comment I get, because I know the people who are reading my stuff are loyal readers! I see their names pop up repeatedly and I remember them <3 So, huge thank you to those people who read regularly!

I hope you are satisfied with my answers <3

[shopcat]

this is super long only read if you are crazy like me ☝️

see my thing is people can do and think whatever they want which they do anyway but the particular type of person who approaches (fan) characterisation in a way where ... WELL there's a certain merit to it obviously and i'm not denying that but you can tell when someone thinks a character Realising they Have Trauma and Need to Heal = giving them depth in a cheap and easy way and not bc they've actually thought about it. and it comes to a point where they're just bastardising the concept to begin with. esp when the source is something that you can argue lacks complexity for whatever reason so they think in order to go further into a particular characters (projected) background/personality/mind/characterisation itself certain things need to be repackaged as potential hurt/comfort material instead of like, them being an actual person who seems like a person. as much as a fictional character is an actual person LOL. which they are ☝️ in a way.

this is also how you get characters using therapy speak when they would Not fucking say that etc. you can tell when someone is approaching something with the thought of angst or "whump" (lamest word ever btw) as the goal instead of ACTUALLY giving credence to some sort of emotional complexity or with even a passing respect to whatever trauma they've picked out of a hat. similarly you can also tell when someone DOES have the emotional depth to deal with any particular subject or topic like this ofc... but when it's not a genuine delving into credible thought it's bc they most of the time don't even know what they're talking about ime at least. and obviously like all that aside yes obviously you can be like "i want to read/write/create something Sad and about This Topic" and that doesn't automatically mean it's cheap or whatever that's not what i mean.

like for example why i'm even thinking about this lol i keep forgetting that people REALLY like zuko from avatar and in order to give him the depth i do agree he deserves people talk about his childhood and everything that comes with that a lot. to the point where it's a trope where zuko tells his friends how he got his child abuse scar (from child abuse) (a trope which i don't have a problem with btw). so i've noticed for all the years i've been actively into atla the ways people almost like, have to justify that he had a really hard life, and was dealt a horrible hand, and all the ways it affects his characterisation and narrative arc and why it's important for his redemption arc in particular. and to me it's kind of odd bc the text itself justifies and validates that but that's not the point of transformative works or analysis and such I KNOW and i get it.

but it's just so fucking weird when people are going right: this kid was probably neglected and definitely abused by his father. there's an implication there that anyone who answers to the same father therefore let it happen or was a part of it in some way. his mother loved him and did the best she could and then ultimately left, his sister was sure objectively nasty to him and they have a VERY bad relationship where they were pitted against each other.

and instead of people rubbing their brain cells together... and producing a coherent line of thought... they go azula ABUSED zuko, and is part of the problem, and he must be Saved from her, and he is Traumatised, he is TRAUMATISED from his sister, oh and it's so valid, it's so valid, you can absolutely be abused by someone younger than you and if anyone says otherwise they're being abuse apologists, ohhh it's so valid. their mother was RIGHT to think she was evil, oh she's so evil, ohhhh she's such a bad person so evil and deserves to die. AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO BLOW MY HEAD UP!!! (it's never even like "i do have things i need to work through about azula and the type of trauma she had a part in" or anything actually reasonable it's ALWAYS oh she is EVIL.)

it's just insane how you can be so close and be nose to nose to The Point and then fall flat on your face. like: zuko was abused... zuko was reared in an insane tightly wound imperialistic environment that fostered actual evil... zuko's father was an insane horrible cartoonish monster... zuko was indeed hurt horrifically when he was 13 years old... it also took years for zuko to even begin to think all that he knew about his own life was wrong... And He Has A Younger Sister. Who Grew Up In That Same Environment. Whose Narrative Arc Significantly Hinges On THE UNIQUE WAY THIS AFFECTED HER AS THE "PRODIGAL CHILD" TO A MEGALOMANIAC. WHO IS 14 YEARS OLD. WHOSE MOTHER THOUGHT SHE WAS ONTOLOGICALLY EVIL AND ABANDONED HER. WHO WAS NOT RAISED TO BE A LITTLE GIRL BUT A WEAPON AND WHO WAS ENCOURAGED TO HURT HER OWN BROTHER. i'm waving my hands in front of my face and SCREAMING. PEOPLE!!!!

well. anyway. tldr it's just the particularly horrible way people almost feign approaching something with something particular like this in mind in order to honour and foster some sort of character complexity but they're clearly not actually thinking about it and it is a means to an end to further one specific characters (fanon) development in some way or other. to be like, let's explore the abuse this one character faced, but fail to recognise the structural way abuse actually works, or how systemic oppression or propaganda works, or how complex politics of the head family of a sovereign nation may possibly affect something, or how basic familial relationships work, or how your environment and how you were raised affects who you are as a person (but somehow doesn't affect anyone else in the same environment, THEY'RE just Evil and cannot be helped). like it's not even about moral greyness or redemption or seeing the villains as people or what the hell ever it's literally just the most basic thing in the world that depth actually has to mean DEPTH and not just "ohhh sometimes he gets panic attacks 🥺". you CANNOT be like "let's be really realistic about this situation would play out" and then not actually be fucking realistic at all. at least be honest about what you're doing and stop PRETENDING!!!'