#i actually do okay but i defo have triggers

[spooky-space-kook]

Trying very hard not to be obsessive over free-eating all break.

I have a whole weight... thing that I manage okay, but the mental health road with that shit is murky as fuck this time of year. Trying to not worry about numbers and focus on health is haaaaaaaaard. And trying to let go for, like, a while? HAAAAARD.

It's mostly okay. I keep a handle on it. But holidays are, uh, real upheaval on this front.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: BONUS- Chapter 22

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Yall I am sick as heck. I tested for the plague and it does not seem to be that, but I defo have a head cold/sinus thing going on.

I did something wild and a little unhinged and made my matcha latte with a protein shake like i'm some sort of athlete instead of a feeble old man. I also have enough vitamins running through me courtesy of ener-c to fuel a football team.

Still feel like ass, but this chapter was a solid up to my day.

Before we even get into it, based on the title of this chapter I can already tell I am not ready. The fact that there are TWO Binghe's is already telling me there is a metric shit-ton of threesome PWP on Ao3

Oh! okay! It's like an immediate continuation of the story. I totally thought we would be skipping a bunch of time or something, yay! this is a good surprise. p11

I forgot about the bamboo house replica LBH made for SQQ. It is so cute that he got the bamboo to actually grow in this realm. p11

LOL ofc LBH is sulking because SQQ will not sleep in the same bed as him. p12

I feel like based on the chapter title and the behaviour of the Binghe we have here that this is not the sweet Binghe we know and love. p15

How has LBH constantly pulling AWAY from SQQ not triggered some red flags for this man. Normally LBH makes every excuse to attach himself to SQQ. p16

okay LOL now SQQ finally questions it p18

Ming Fan you fucking narc! No one asked you to go get the other peaks involved. so rude! p19

Dang. Liu Qingge really is all or nothing. He is truly doing the lords work trying to constantly save SQQ from himself. The fact that he keeps picking up his literal shit every time this guy gets himself into A Situation is telling. Not enough respect for this guy, truly. p21

Oh god, well. RIP SQQ because this LBH is most definitely an imposter! p23

(I literally cannot read what I wrote for this note/I think my hand was working slower than my brain and many words are missing in the sentence. I think I was TRYING TO SAY): This Binghe is evil as shit and SQQ still has not confirmed. I am a little bit worried if this Binghe is here- where is the other one????? Is he okay??? p26

Yeah! You correct that asshole Ying Ningning. (If you can't tell this character really grew on me- she had the glow up for sure for sure). p27

I do love that this evil Binghe get's to have some internal dialogue that we read, "Like fuck you do!" p28

OMG. This evil Binghe totally did read the BingQiu porn and is taking his "shizun" for a test run. Oh no! Does good Binghe stop this??? p31

Thank fuck SQQ finds out who this Binghe is (though he sort of was not complaining about the man handling at all). Bless for good Binghe for showing up too! pp32-33

Bless his heart, "In the end, he and Luo Binghe were too unfamiliar with each other's bodies. That was why it had taken him so long to figure out what was wrong here" P35 Okay but I do love that his response to all of this is definitely- "me and Binghe need to be more intimate in case this situation happens again. I will definitely fix this for the future".

The way SQQ is just clutching his pearls this chapter is killing me LOL the romance novel energy is too much. "Shen Qingqiu was stunned silent. Playing around with who? Playing around with me? Bing-ge you...you'd accept all corners?! Welcoming both men and women! Is this something like 'both meat and fish are fine- I'm not picky, I'll eat whatever I'm given'?" P37

SQQ: "What the fuck am I supposed to tell anyone..." Also SQQ: p39

Oh no! Bing-ge is getting into Bing-mei's head. Leave the poor boy alone, he is very sensitive. All the while SQQ is trying to get the little guy to just focus on dealing with Bing-ge. p41

Since this is a different Binghe, I have decided to add another dime to the demon blood mite bank. I believe we are at $0.60 which is TOO damn much. p44

It is highly effective! p46

Oh no. Now Bing-ge is having feelings. Understandable though- he really did get the shit story where in everything is terrible and he has no real support. Bro just wanted some softness. p47

Oop. Well. I guess Bing-mei is going to attempt to level up some skills today. p49

Luo Binghe and his Dick Weapon (TM). p52

Blessed be, we have some sort of lube. I am literally so glad for this. The way my body viscerally reacted to their last scene- this is not much of an improvement, but they are getting there. p55

Oh no, and they're both crying now. p57

Thank fuck his disciples did NOT decide to fix the roof. p60 that would have been one heck of a surprise.

Okay, but this is so tender. Look at them both growing and learning. p61

LOL LBH is DETERMINED to learn. "Shen Qingqiu knew what he wanted to ask and mercilessly spoke first, "awful." However this time, even after receiving criticism, Luo Binghe wasn't depressed. Rather, he exuberantly declared, "Yes, it was awful. Unacceptably awful." "what are you saying...?" "Because it was simply awful, this disciple requests that his Shizun assist him with further exploration." Well." p62

It could have been worse!

These two are so damn weird. Good for them, but also, it's too much LOL. One is self sacrificing, the other is needy as HELL. It must have been so weird for BIng-ge to witness; drastically different version of himself!

[0shewrites0]

Hieeee!!!!

So, I'm not too sure if this is something that has been asked before, but I'm going to go ahead and ask because I'm in a bit of a bind here and as a fellow Lucas stan I would love to hear this from you.

How do you think Lucas would be with an MC who has ADHD? Because sometimes, you know, they think they're a little "too much" for a person to handle or not everyone would have the patience.

But also, everyone is different and not all behaviours and experiences are the same.

I've noticed there's a lot of misinformation and judgement around people who are diagnosed with it. Like assuming it's all about "Lacking focus or getting easily distracted" when sometimes it can be the opposite. Or linking it to intelligence, when I think it would be wrong to assume there's really a correlation between the two.

Hiiii! First of all, thank you so much for this ask and for approaching me with it, I feel so honoured 🥹

I had great fun thinking about it and also did some research, but I need to clarify that I don't know much about ADHD.

Like you said, I agree that ADHD is definitely not just about "lack of focus or being easily distracted". And it's definitely not okay to automatically link the diagnosis to intelligence or any type of IQ.

I'm thinking of Chloe Veitch in THTH, The Circle and Perfect Match, who certainly came across as a bit shallow at first even though she is so much more than that! It actually made me a bit angry that the producers portrayed her that way, because I follow her on Instagram and she's so sweet and genuine and not stupid at all - plus, low IQ and naivety are NOT THE SAME THING!!!!

ADHD can also mean that people diagnosed with this disorder can't sit still and are always doing something, they may even be very physically active, which can help them get rid of some of their pent-up energy. Others act before they think and generally talk a lot.

Overall, ADHD symptoms can be divided into 3 main areas, namely inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. It should be noted, however, that triggers such as lack of sleep, certain foods and especially stress can significantly influence the intensity of the symptoms.

Which brings us to the main topic: how would Lucas deal with an MC diagnosed with ADHD?

🤍 tbh I can imagine he finds her impulsiveness kind of cute and, at least at first, mistakes her interrupting conversations or acting before thinking for her being annoyed by the people around her or just being so high energy that she can't keep her thoughts to herself

🤍 depending on whether he meets her irl or in the Villa, there would obviously be differences as I think being part of the cast enforces a certain closeness

🤍 Lucas is a very complex person, so he would really be the last person to judge others who are just as complex or even more complex

🤍 also, I think he's had ADHD patients (mostly kids tho) who came to physiotherapy for minor or major injuries (especially when you think boys and the way they play sports? That’s very likely) - which means he'll recognise the signs quickly and as a physiotherapist he'll also have a basic knowledge of certain disorders, including ADHD, and I think that's defo a plus because he understands what it's about

🤍 of course he'd have to be a lot more patient than with someone else, but I don't think that would bother him too much - plus ADHD isn't Tourette's, for example. I say that because I just feel like he wouldn't be able to deal with someone with Tourette's, and that doesn't mean he looks down on people with that diagnosis, it's just that people need to understand how difficult and challenging such a disorder can be

🤍 once he finds out what specific triggers make her symptoms worse, he will do everything he can to help her avoid them. If it's stress, you can bet he'll be very aware of his moods and how he might affect her mood if he's had a rough day at work and is stressed af. So to avoid stressing her out too, he'd hit the gym first, get rid of all the negative energy and then come home

🤍 he would generally let her talk as much as she wants, while making an effort to listen to her and join in the conversation. I imagine that people with ADHD often feel that other people withdraw from conversations when it gets too much for them, and I imagine that can be very hurtful. Idk I think I would be hurt, especially because there's nothing I can do about it. So he would try to make her feel like she's not too much for him

🤍 if she happens to make careless mistakes or forgets to do certain tasks, I can imagine him trying hard not to let on how much that can annoy him. But because he knows that she doesn't do it on purpose, and especially not with malicious intent, he can learn to deal with it better. And in turn, I could even imagine him becoming a bit more relaxed, which would also lower his personal stress level 👀👀

🤍 and the reassurance she would get - OFF THE CHARTS! He would tell her several times a day that she is perfect just the way she is and that she will never be too much in his eyes 🥹

🤍 if people made fun of her (even if they had no bad intentions), he would be so damn protective and shut them right up, he wouldn't tolerate bs! Other’s might think he's a bit extreme for that, but then again extreme is Lucas's middle name 🙏🏽

[betsydobsons]

Hi :) tw: suicide :) quick reminder that over coming suicidal thoughts and the like is not an easy process :) just because you no longer actively want to kill yourself, doesn’t mean the thoughts go away instantly :) health and mental security is a long path, and it’s taken me two years to get to the stability I’m in :) it’s very easy to fall back into bad habits, but it’s worth the effort to rebel against the allure :) also with the romanticism of suicide in mass media like tik tok and insta, it’s difficult to remember that suicidal thoughts aren’t a cute little anecdote, and for getting past them, I am so proud of you :) don’t let toxic “trends” of suicide guilt you into feeling bad abt healing and moving away from bad thoughts :)

[hattiewritesalot]

hi i'm not sure if u would do a request like this.. but can u do a couple of characters from the hobbit reacting to y/n with eczema? like maybe just them looking after it or whatever you wanna write. it's just i've had bad eczema since I was small and it's getting worse and it's making me feel kinda sad because it never goes away. thanks 💚💚

of course my lovely! I'm always open to requests like these. I decided to do Thorin, Kili, Fili, Legolas and Tauriel, hope this is okay. My girlfriend has eczema, and I'm sorry that you feel sad about it. Just remember that you are absolutely beautiful the way that you are <3

~The Hobbit Characters With An S/O Who Has Eczema~

Thorin x gn!reader

Kili x gn!reader

Fili x gn!reader

Legolas x gn!reader

Tauriel x gn!reader

Summary: How some of The Hobbit characters would react to their S/O having eczema.

Warnings: if skin conditions trigger you then yes, a bit of pain and uncomfortableness, but that's about the worst of it

A/N: love you, you're worth it :)

——————————————————————————————

THORIN OAKENSHIELD

listens to your explanation v v carefully

I mean

he's thorin

he doesn't want to get anything wrong.

He's always there to remind you not to itch or put cream on your skin <3

Defo informs Oin of all the medication and OINtments (you see what I did there) that you need

Bestie would actually stab anybody who ever dares make a comment about your eczema

You've probably had to drag him off a few people

which is not surprising

But all in all, he's very understanding and very caring.

stan our dwarf king

KILI DURIN

omg our resident cinnamon roll

He, like his uncle, is very understanding

and he, too, cares

But he cares very...

Aggressively

To say the least

Will psychically hold your arms apart if you're trying to itch anywhere

Will throw your medication at your head every five minutes

Will sit and kiss you until you realise that he loves you no matter what

this is him caring about you. appreciate it while you still can.

pLS I LOVE HIM-

FILI DURIN

look at this boy and tell me he wouldn't be there for you 24/7

TELL ME

I DARE YOU

He's v sweet, and a nice mix

He cares about you and is very understanding, like Thorin, but doesn't throw things at you, like Kili.

He will drop EVERYTHING and rush to your side if you're in pain

Will wrap his arms around you and kiss your shoulders and tell you to stop scratching OMG

He always has a little sample of your medication around with him

he has a lot of pockets

Will absolutely murder somebody if they even DARE to look at you the wrong way

Somebody get me a Fili please.

LEGOLAS THRANDUILLION

look at this little elf boi

oKay so he is very confused at first

'So your skin just… gets dry??'

'And very itchy, yes.'

'…wut'

He's trYING OKAY-

But once he understands everything, he is the best person to have around

Will always keep an eye on you for any signs of pain

Will always have a little bottle of cream on hand

And will constantly remind you that you are absolutely gorgeous no matter what

I love him so much I'm crying

TAURIEL

I am very in love with this woman

and I am not ashamed

As we see in BOTFA, Tauriel is a very good healer

and she would do everything she could to make sure you weren't in pain

Will definitely remind you to apply/take any medications when needed

If you start scratching, she will SCOLD YOU

Like a mother

mommy

Will go out looking for any healing remedies that could help you

She would also ask the healers to keep an eye on you and report anything serious

She just loves you so so much and that makes me very very jealous. you lucky lemon.

———————————————————————————————

I'm sorry if this was bad, but I hope you enjoyed <3

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

oh nono i wholeheartedly agree with you actually, like i said honkai story can be overglorified and the overglorification of literature can have horrible impact to its reader and others who feel like the story can be too heavy. it can also bait others if you dont have proper understanding of the lore, you can end up getting into it and well, feel empty. Honkai has triggering theme, you can love it but you can also set aside the themes that are too heavy and overglorified, like you have to admit the start of honkai is very messy and confusing, this can lead a lot of people astray so i defo wont recommend others to read honkai if they cant handle the topic or dont have enough time to read the full lore, cause without getting its theme and getting to the end you can take it as a very heavy story. its very context dependant and heavy on its triggering theme to amplify the end. which is why i sent the ask to you anonymously, it was more to me screaming to the void on my personal take and i never expected it to be replied, and it was also twisted to be seen in the perspective of elly headspace and eden romantical art philosophy, a deepdive to what they think about their story and end. they are very very mentally stable for people who lived in the end of the world and has personal struggle, they look at the world through rose colored lenses, partially as a way of acceptance. so i would never ever recommend people to read this take if they are in a bad headspace, or cant handle heavy and triggering topics. elysia eden rose colored view of their heavy story can be triggering to many and it also cant be overglorified too much, you dont have to honor someone else take on literature you like if its too heavy, you should always stop, your headspace and mental health is the utmost priority. personally I've been through many things which i wouldn't elaborate on since it can be TW heavy, but ive found people who loved, understood and accepted me, ive healed through them and im eternally grateful to them, which is why i could look at its theme and accept it as it is. i am very privileged in this way since not a lot can find this opportunity, fuhua character writting is especially moving to me because of this.

really sorry for the misunderstanding, sincerely much love from anon <333

hey hey anon— first you’re absolutely right about their rose colored glasses over the situation— but most importantly, I assure you the way I replied was healthy for me. You don’t have to worry or teach me about what I should or shouldn’t drop, I’m not a child and I’m decent at managing these topic in regards to what they do to me, the way I ended up answering you was the way that worked with my mental health.

I also answer all my good faith asks, if I haven’t replied to yours yet they’re in drafts (or didn’t get sent but I wouldn’t be aware of that). I’m okay! If I’d forced myself to engage in the way you intended I would’ve been hurt, so I didn’t do that, that’s all.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that different people have different needs when it comes to stories. I do love heavy topics, I don’t shy away from tragedy, zero problem with all the messed up stuff in this game’s lore, I just have this specific little broken thing in my brain that makes it so I can’t appreciate certain approaches, even if they’re in character.

Every human you’ll ever meet has been through some degree of bull and probably has a few little broken bits too, that’s just how life is.

That said I would not call Eden mentally stable?? She’s a chronic alcoholic who probably has ptsd and she was suicidal from months to years before her death. Like that is not what mentally stable is. Her circumstances are understandable but the way she acted was absolutely not “stable”.

Elysia is debatable, she’s got a pretty good handle on herself but she’s also prone to putting up a happy front to mask her grief and not expressing her negative emotions. This isn’t healthy at all, for all that she remains positive, acknowledgment of negative emotions is vital to remaining a healthy individual, you’ll run yourself ragged forcing happiness all the time. In ch31 when she tells Eden Dr.MEI is probably right and she’s most likely a Herrscher, she chokes up and almost cries before forcing it down with determination and her happy front. Like. That’s not healthy behavior. I need to wrap her in a blanket and let her cry her heart out

Basically I hate the message of “don’t be sad that we part” because it IS sad. Not acknowledging this means you’ll just repress your sadness and that’s just not healthy. It’s okay to be sad. It’s healthy to be sad. Sadness exists to help your brain process loss and grief. Unexpressed, they simply fester and cause you pain… so this is a PSA to let yourself feel sad and cry, you’ll feel better afterwards.

[sab-teraa]

Watch with me: Duy Beni episode 4

1. Oh aziz is good. Getting her to trust him 👀

2. Wait?? Did Leyla use a fake pic too? One of ekim??? Why is aziz smelling the wrapper like that? I thought he was playing Ekim or tryna use her to get back at Kanat

3. Okay so I was right aziz knows that Ekim is Ekim and is playing her bc of the mask and yo annoy Kanat

4. Is Kanat in the same year as the rest of them? This man in never in class

5. Ekim better watch how she acts with Bekir 🔪🔪 wtf do you blame him for everything. She’s pissing me off

6. What if Mel clique are the ones behind the mask???

7. That laugh??? Mel is scary. I can’t believe they made her a stand by your man 😭

8. Mel does not like this man. Can she stop forcing it. All she wants is to win

9. YESSSSSSS LEYLA! Let Ayse go to school

10. 35 min in and I’m yet to see ozi

11. I’m so confused by aziz is2g. Does he like Ekim or what?

12. I LOVE BEKIR SO MUCH. HIS SINGING HAS ME LOOOOOL

13. Pls aziz looks like he wants to hurt Bekir over a damn chocolate.

14. OZIIIIII ❤️❤️

15. Aziz is in love with Ekim. Him looking at her when speaking about love ?? Yeah

16. ‘’My destiny seems a bit off’ OZAN 🥲☹️

17. Not Mel being the only one laughing at Ozans stupid jokes 🥺🥺

18. Selim defo got triggered. I wonder if he has a background in bullying? He is either a victim or repenting. I think repenting

19. Yup he is defo repenting

20. Dahgan and Ayse are so adorable! HELPING HER STUDYING OMFG ISIK SINAN VIBES I LOVE THEM

21. I don’t trust Bahar. I think she’s behind the mask. She gives me lowkey mean girl vibes

22. Not the dirty mop water lmaooo. Mel deserved it tho

23. Wait? Is emine the janitors daughter?

24. I DONT TRUST BAHAR

25. Oh oh oh the girls standing up to Mel?? Ceyda damn! Mel is defo losing her crown. I’m stuck between ceyda or Bahar being behind the mask

26. WAIT WAIT WAIT ??? Did ozan and Mel hook up at some point??? What does “you should have learnt by now that no one can come between me and kanat” mean??? 👀 it seemed like a direct jab to ozi rather than a general statement

27. Not Mel saying she smells ew but ozan loving the moment 😭😭😭🤣 also, love how she was okay with him helping her over her so called friends. Actually it seems like he is the only one she accepts serious help from 👀 she even called ozi before Kanat

28. Kanat and Mel are both manipulative towards each other. Idk why people wanna make it seem like only Mel is a bad person when he clearly playing with her feelings

29. I love the sound of the whistles during the romantic scenes

30. The friendships are so badly written and so is the chemistry between that group. The mean group has better chemistry and Ayse + Bekir also have better chemistry with the mean group

31. What did the father do??? So mels mum is alive or what? I think the reason she’s so obsessed with Kanat is bc she doesn’t want a repeat of her parents marriage. She is mad at her dad for not fighting for her mum, so she’s fighting for Kanat despite not being into him. She doesn’t want to fail at this

32. Kanat is most likely going to get Ekim a house

33. Whenever I see leylas shrine of Kanat I lose it laughing 😭🤣

34. Riza is effing scary

35. So Riza was an aziz growing up … I also wonder if his marriage to the mum was arranged.

36. BEKIR I LUV YOU BESTIE 😭🤣 hkm and ceyda? Lmaooo

37. No seriously? What does Kanat do at this school beside drive aziz and play sport??? What year is he in??

38. I really enjoyed the ep. My only criticism is how badly the good side friendships are written + that we don’t really see Ekim or Kanats personality

Also, the actor who plays Bekir is too good. You could sense his fear towards Ozan and his need to protect asye and ekim.

[lululawrence]

hiiii i was the mpreg!harry anon and i was wondering if you have super super super angsty recs and maybe harry having a lot of complications during birth or something?!! or even full out passing away or anything like that tbh

okay darling, i’m quite afraid that i’m going to disappoint with this rec lolllll i’ll be upfront and say that i have to stay away from most fics that have complications during pregnancy or during birth because of my own triggers and real life experiences, so the recs i have don’t feature that. i also defo cannot handle MCD, so i’m sorry!

now when it comes to super angsty mpreg? that i can try to help with. lol you prefer mpreg harry, so i’ll try to focus on that in here, but tbh the first angsty mpreg fics i thought of were mpreg louis fics.i might add one or two of those still, but the rest will be harry, promise. i also hope these are angsty enough for your liking, even without the birth complications and mcd haha here we go!

There Goes My Life by @mizzhydes / MsHydeStylinson - okay, i know i know, this is not what comes to mind when i think of angsty, okay? BUT it is mpreg harry AND there is the underlying fear of miscarriage along with an unplanned c-section so! because of that i’m still reccing it here. plus i fucking loved this fic, so. yeah. lol

I Think You're Already Home by @jaerie / jaerie - again, this one isn’t crazy angsty, at least not to do with the pregnancy. there’s plenty of angst and pining and hella smut, but there’s a surprise home-birth of sorts, loads of anxiety, the fact that harry is only a surrogate and going to have to give up the baby, etc etc etc so while the pregnancy itself isn’t angsty, there’s still a lot of angst and a lot of feelings that are in there that surround the whole thing, so 100% rec this one, i love it and i’m not just saying that cause jenna gifted it to me lol

Everything I need I get from you by @jaerie​ - okay, so in this one once again it’s mpreg harry and harry’s in a relationship with a neglectful dickhead. because of harry overworking himself and not having access to music, which in this a/b/o world contributes to people’s health, it means that harry’s not really in good health and he is incredibly concerned about his baby. so there’s the angst surrounding the situation harry is in and his health plus what to do about louis who is trying to help him, etc etc etc. it isn’t super angsty, but hot damn is it good.

Tightrope by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren - so this is mpreg louis, but there are complications with the pregnancy! haha and a decent amount of angst surrounding it because of that. basically harry and louis are both full on dumbasses who had a fwb type situation when neither of them were dating someone, and louis accidentally gets pregnant off of it lollll it’s FAB and i love! 

Sisterwives by @jaerie​ - what can i say? jenna delivers on the angsty pregnancy shit lmao omega harry, omega louis, they’re sisterwives who are like... enemies to fragile friends to lovers, but they have to hide it from their alpha. there’s forced pregnancy, a pretty decent lack of medical care, they’re basically in a cult with like no money... there’s a lot of angst from outside situations while also discovering themselves and it’s a lot and i love it.

Say Something by @kingsofeverything - okay so i haven’t read this yet but i am SO excited to do so when i have a moment lol that said, lauren said she didn’t think it was that angsty, but she apparently doesn’t have a good gauge of that and the situation does seem like it could be angsty so i’ll throw it out there lmao harry’s 50 and a widower, louis is 28 (heh), they’re matched up by a heat/rut service, and harry accidentally get’s pregnant! WHOOPS

Falling For Me Won't Be A Mistake by @all-these-larrythings / Rearviewdreamer - this one i read awhile ago and i don’t remember the actual level of angst but i do remember crying a lot because i’d just had a baby and everything harry was going through just hit me so hard lollll so yeah anyway mpreg harry who is a doctor and as we all know, doctors are the worst patients, right? lol so he doesn’t really take care of himself the way he should and meanwhile louis just... can’t be found and he’s just... it’s so good. and the pain is good too. again, i don’t remember if the angst is high or if the angst has to do with the pregnancy physically, i don’t think it does outside of harry working himself too hard perhaps, but yeah. this was one of the first mpreg fics i ever read and it is STILL one of my favs.

I'm In Trouble Deep by Allthelivelonglarry, sammie4jones, Scrufflecake, and OrphanAccount - okay listen if you want angst, this is one hell of a ride haha! once again, i don’t remember the pregnancy itself being the angsty part, outside of everything harry has to deal with regarding it... it’s just all a lot. there’s so much harry is working through in so many ways and please read the tags first just to be sure you’re good haha but considering what you asked for, i’m guessing you are. ANYWAY. pain? check. mpreg harry? check. have at it, dear! haha

okay and that’s all i think i’ve got for you, i sure hope something here is new and fits the bill! i do fear that i am not able to actually give you the level of angst you’re wanting, but i did my best. happy reading!!

[uraviitys]

memories | bakugou katsuki x reader | pt. 1

ahh i hope this isn’t as bad as i think it is lol. if people like this enough i’ll defo do a part 2 but we’ll see >.< hope you enjoy! constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated. 

“hand over the girl, kid.”

“not gonna happen.” 

you were cowering behind the boy in front of you. you had no idea who he was or what was happening. actually, the last-and first- thing you remembered was being stuck in that cell, the door opened by the boy who was now acting as a human shield for you. 

you weren’t sure who was good, and who was bad at that moment in time. there was a fight of sorts going on so... someone had to be good and someone had to be bad right? was the boy in front of you the bad guy? no. surely not. after all, he was protecting you. no bad guy would stand in front of someone in that protective stance. plus, what kind of kid your age would be a villain? 

the blond in front of you said something in a low voice, something that only you would hear. a name. your name? come to think of it, you weren’t sure if you remembered your name at all. that couldn’t be good. “you’re gonna be okay.” he said, “i’ll get us out of this.” 

what even was this? this situation. if only you could remember… 

“i’m gonna blast them alright? run for that door, open it, and then keep running.” he popped his knuckles. 

blast? surely he couldn’t be serious. 

he was. very serious. explosions rang out around you and you froze for a moment, only to remember the words the boy had uttered to you only moments before. you bolted for the door and kicked it open, the crisp autumn air greeting you as you kept running, glancing behind you to see the boy from before not running but- basically flying towards you, little explosions keeping him in the air. 

behind him were the guys that had been cornering the two of you just moments before. you were surprised they were still up after that. 

“what are you doing? come up here!” he shouted down at you. 

your eyebrows furrowed, how the fuck were you supposed to get up there? “what? i can’t get up there!” you yelled up. 

“just use your quirk!” he shouted back, sounding quite confused.

quirk? quirk. you were supposed to have one of those, weren’t you? what- what was it? your head began to ring. not very good for someone who was running for their life. 

the boy dropped down in front of you, “just get on my back. don’t let go, i need both hands.” 

you froze, what the fuck was happening? what was this? the pain… your head... 

“hurry up!”

you obliged, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his torso, suddenly, you two were up in the air. the building behind you was getting further and further away and one by one the villains began to give up. the two of you landed in a park and you jumped down onto the pavement below. 

the boy stared at you for a moment, “do you know who i am?” he asked.

you shook your head.

his hands balled up into fists at his sides, he seemed to be on the verge of tears. “fuck,” he ran a hand through his hair, “what did they do to you?” his face softened for a moment as he looked at you. he shook the look off, “that old hag better be able to fix you.” he grumbled, his hard angry features coming back as quickly as they’d left. he grasped your hand lightly, “c’mon. we have to walk from here. it won’t be far.” 

you yanked it away. “w-who are you? what just happened back there? are-are you going to kill me?”

he said your name, you stared at him blankly. “look i-” he struggled to find the right words. “i know you don’t recognize me right now, but you need to trust me okay? if you come with me, i can help you get your memories back. i would never hurt you. ever.” 

you shifted your stance, eyeing him cautiously. you needed to think about this properly. he saved you, at least you think? were those men going to kill you? they were keeping you in a cell. but what if that was for your safety or something? no that’s a dumb thought. who locks someone they need to keep safe in a cell. 

“o-okay.” you stuttered out. the boy looked very relieved, you two set on your way, him walking in front and leading the way, checking behind every 30 seconds to make sure you were still there. at once point you had just decided to walk next to him so he didn’t almost trip on every stray branch that appeared on the path ahead.

“we’re here,” he said, turning towards you. the sight of the building triggered something, a memory?

“holy shit! this place is insane!” you exclaimed, glancing next to you. the person standing there was blurry, a foggy piece of the memory you just couldn’t place. “suki, what do you think?”

the brief flash of memory ended there, your head began to ache terribly and you collapsed on the ground, the world fading to black. 

[negasonicimagines]

My One and Lonely

whew! this was intense! I’m really sorry if this doesn’t correctly fulfill these requests, folks! i tried! 

1: “okay what about poly yukisonic x reader where the yukio, ellie, and the reader have started a new relationship, but the reader is unsure of it?? and Ellie and yukio just reassure thems?? basically I just want poly yukisonic x reader angst with a happy ending. : ')” 2: “Could you do a negasonic imagine where reader is her girlfriend and has telekinesis? And Wade takes any opportunity to tease the couple so reader constantly uses her powers to slam the door in Wades face?” [yeah i defo didn’t really fill this one but the reader has telekinesis and DOES slam the door in Wade’s face and I have so many requests bro... but I’d be willing to redo this if you’re not satisfied] TRIGGER WARNING for mentions and discussion of past abuse. the reader also almost has a panic attack. let me know if i missed anything

“You know, you could just talk to them about it,” Wade tells you, and your fork and book fall to the ground.

“Uh, no? I literally can’t, dude. Now my fork’s dirty.”

“Uh, yeah. You literally can, dude. And that’ll teach you to be lazy, using your powers for easy stuff like turning pages and eating. I bet the fork’s not that bad.”

“Like you wouldn’t do the same thing,” you scoff, and he shrugs, nodding.

“Come on. It’s totally normal for you to be feeling the way you are. They were friends and dating before you came into the picture. Insecurity’s normal. Especially considering-”

“Call me insecure one more time and I’ll use the dirty fork to show you just how insecure your eye’s placement in your skull is,” you threaten, feeling your face heat up. You didn’t like that your weakness was so obvious. Or that he reminded you of her.

“Christ, maybe I really am a bad influence...Nah, we’re just birds of a feather,” Wade says with a cheeky grin you don’t know how you can see through the mask. Maybe his tone of voice makes the subtle expression more perceivable. “Sorry,” he quickly adds. “But, seriously. They’re the last people who are gonna judge you.”

“Who’s the last people that are gonna judge Y/N?” You hear from behind you. Ellie. Shit. She made you far more nervous than Yukio did. Yukio was the gentle, sensitive moon, and Ellie… Ellie was the sun. Nuturing, yes, but scorching, too.

“Well-”

“No one. Not important. Right, Wade?” you plaster on a smile, fiddling with the fork in your hand before letting it float in the air. “Want the rest of my ramen? I’m not very hungry.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Catch,” you say, flinging the fork at him telepathically. He gasps sharply, but his reflexes are quick enough to grab it.

You get up, and notice Ellie looks a bit… gloomier than usual.

“Everything okay?” you ask, and she nods, her lips twitching into a small smile for you before quickly concealing the expression.

“Yeah, I’m alright. ‘Kio and I missed you at lunch, that’s all.”

“Well, I was, uh… Hanging out with Wade. Like you saw,” you explain.

“You didn’t seem very happy. He didn’t say anything to bother you, did he?”

“Oh, uh, no. I was just a bit stressed. Exams coming up and all that.”

“Exams are a couple months away,” Ellie reminds you. “But you were stressed, weren’t you? Look, if you’re having regrets, whatever, fine. I wouldn’t be happy about it and neither would Yukio, but you have a right to your feelings. Just don’t fucking lie to me, okay?”

“I- I promise it’s not about that. Really, I’m… Happy to be with you guys.”

“Then what is it? Seriously?”

You stiffen, you can tell she’s getting angry. Your heart feels like a stone in your chest, cracked and heavy.

“It’s nothing,” you say, not meeting her eyes.

“Alright. Keep your secrets, then,” Ellie sighs, walking away. You head to your room, locking the door behind you. Most students with telepathic abilities get their own rooms in an effort to avoid accidental harm of their fellow students. This was the case for you, and you used to like it.

But then, you met Ellie and Yukio. The two of them were already dating when you were officially introduced, and you became fast friends with them. It quickly evolved into more, and the three of you became what many refer to as a “throuple.”

The facet of the insecurity Wade so rudely talked of earlier was, of course, the fact that they were roommates, and you were alone every night. They got to cuddle and kiss and you got to watch ASMR.

It was depressingly lonely. Sure, every once in awhile you could get away with sleeping over on weekends. But, most of the time, the teachers monitored the rooms, making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be, in case of emergency.

But, wait, there’s more!

As mentioned previously, Ellie is the sun. Yukio is the moon. What are you in that?

And it didn’t help that you were still struggling to cope with the aftermath of her, a little over a year later.

Before you began your schooling at Xavier’s, you were friends with a small group of fellow mutants that were slowly drawn together by fate. One of these mutants was a girl. You can’t even bear to think her name.

Back then, you were only telepathically gifted. You hadn’t even dreamed you would be capable of telekinesis one day.

But she, she had super-strength, and she liked to use it on you. Even when you didn’t want her to.

You were defenseless.

You shake, pulling your knees to your chest.

“Hey, why’s the door locked? I thought we were all gonna work together on our art projects.” Yukio’s bright voice is muffled by the door.

“Uh, um, yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a, um, sec,” you say, your breathing growing heavier and more fast-paced. “Actually, uh, you- you and Ellie sh...sh-should just go and, uh, go work on your projects t-together. I’ll- Yeah, I’ll, uh, figure mine out eventually.” Shit, I’m doing a terrible job at covering this up.

“You okay in there, bunny?” It was a cute nickname that Yukio liked to call both you and Ellie.

“Mmhmm, yeah. Just a bit, uh, very tired. Gonna take a nap soon.”

“Okay…” she says, and you know she doubts you. Failure.

“On second thought, uh, I’ll just go to bed early tonight. Let’s get to work,” you decide, unlocking and opening the door.

Upon opening the door, you notice Wade behind them.

“Didn’t realize you took Art, Wade.”

“You also didn’t realize that we planned for you to come to our room. You were supposed to show up twenty minutes ago, actually. So, we went to talk to Wade. Since you tell him everything these days,” Ellie says, pure bitterness in the mention of Wade. It wasn’t that she hated him. She hated that you told him and not her. Not even Yukio, who she’d admit was far more approachable than her.

“Sorry, kid,” he says. “They had a right to know.”

“You- You didn’t tell them about- About…” You feel your eyes widen, alarm racing through you slowly and quickly at the same time.

“No, not that. Not her. Just the other stuff.”

“Oh.”

“Her?” Ellie asks. “Cheating on us, seriously?”

“No,” you say, and it comes out as a whimper due to her angry tone. “I- I- This was a bad idea, Wade. You guys should just go, all three of you, I don’t feel well, I’m tired, I-”

“I’m gonna leave you kids to sort this out,” Wade tells you three. “Good luck.” He slowly backs away.

“Can you close the door?” Yukio asks, and you jolt, door slamming in Wade’s face.

“Yeah,” you say afterwards. This was becoming less stressful thinking and more panic attack by the moment.

“You’ve been avoiding us lately,” Yukio points out. “Wade already told us why, but… I want to hear it from you, ‘kay?”

“It’s nothing, I-” You take a careful, ragged breath, sitting on your bed. Yukio sits on the stool at your desk, and Ellie leans her back against the door. “I just don’t fit. I’ve never fit in anywhere, and I never will. All I’ve done trying is bother others. Especially Ellie and you.”

“You don’t fit?” Ellie asks. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“I- You’re the sun...Yukio’s the moon… And I’m just… I’m Pluto.” The last bit comes out as a shaky whisper. A large, hot tear rolls down your cheek swiftly.

“What?! No! No, bunny, you’re- You’re…” Yukio kneels in front of you, swiping your tear away with her thumb and keeping your sad face in her hand. “I can’t think of anything, but you’re not Pluto, baby.”

“The eclipse. You’re the eclipse, Y/N. Everything aligning perfectly so that we can be together,” Ellie says thoughtfully. “Is that all? You feel like you don’t have a place here, with us? You do. You’re what makes this whole thing work, okay? Now please, please tell me you didn’t cheat on us for validation.”

“The her comment, right…” you say, the temporary relief you felt by Ellie’s original statement subsiding. “No. I didn’t cheat, I swear. I’d never do that to you guys, to anyone. I… The last relationship I had before you guys was, um… Not the greatest. It was around a year ago, a little more. Before Xavier’s. Before I honed my abilities. There was a girl, a mutant like me. Like us. But she, uh… She had super-strength. And I wasn’t very physically strong, I was pretty weak, actually. So… You can probably see where I’m going with this, or I hope you do, because I don’t like talking about it, not at-” You finally dissolve into tears. “Not at all…”

Ellie rushes towards you to embrace you, and you flinch reflexively.

“I’m sorry. I was really thoughtless. Just now and for most of our interactions today,” Ellie admits. “I’m just… Things between me and ‘Kio weren’t the greatest, but we were trying because we knew we were meant to be together. And then you came along, and everything made sense. Everything finally fit together, perfectly. And- And I don’t wanna lose that. Ever.”

“Same here,” Yukio agrees. “You’re so great, Y/N. Wade said that you feel really lonely all by yourself in here. Maybe we should try to get you transferred to our room. Sometimes they let people room in groups of three, and they probably could use the extra room.”

“Yeah, but… It’d be kind of annoying to have me tagging along all the time,” you remind her.

Ellie’s eye twitches. “Tagging...Along?”

“That’s the phrase, isn’t it?” you ask.

She takes a deep, calming breath, and you watch her fingers move as she counts to ten on them silently. They’re both sitting with you on the bed, now.

“Ah-” Ellie clenches her teeth, hissing for a moment, as if she’s in pain. “Y/N, you’re just as much a part of this relationship as Yukio and I. What part of that is so hard for you to understand?”

“I- I don’t know. It’s just hard to believe. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“What shoes? There are no shoes here,” Yukio tells you. “I really only wear them because it’s frowned upon not to, and because if I didn’t then I’d pick up all sorts of nasty germs.”

Ellie nods in agreement. “Same.”

You sigh, knowing there’s no way to convince them of how worthless you are to the relationship. Maybe because to them, you aren’t?

“Hey, did you see that? I saw that. I think it’s clicking, ‘Kio.”

“I did see it,” Yukio agrees, and you smile a little at their antics, shaking your head. “Let me go to the office and get the room transfer forms. I’d love to stay, but I think you two cuties need to talk a bit… In private.”

Yukio exits.

“I’m...Sorry. For talking to Wade and not you guys. I shouldn’t have-”

“You’re allowed to confide in your friend. I shouldn’t have taken it as personally as I did. I just know there was a time, before we all got together romantically, where you would’ve talked to me or Yukio about something if it stressed you out that much. But I guess not… We didn’t know about her.”

“It’s just hard to even think about. I feel so ashamed all the time, I’m really sorry that I didn’t-”

“Seriously. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, and I feel seriously shitty that I was such an asshole about it. You have a right to privacy, as long as you’re not putting anyone or anything in danger. But, the anyone and anything includes you. Okay?”

“Okay,” you respond, and Ellie kisses your forehead, her dark brown eyes looking to yours before she places the softest kiss on your lips, carefully holding your face as if you were priceless and she didn’t want to risk breaking you. You lean into her, forehead on her shoulder.

“Let’s lay down. I owe you some cuddling. I hear I’m an excellent big spoon,” she tells you.

“From a biased source. Let’s try the sweetheart’s cradle,” you offer.

“What the fuck is the sweetheart’s cradle?”

“Honestly, I did far too much research into the perfect cuddle position, for the time it might actually happen.”

“We don’t really cuddle, do we? Yukio hasn’t really given you any cuddles either, has she? Wow, you’re really missing out- ...Oh. I’m so sorry,” Ellie apologizes, looking more heartbroken than determined with this one. She hadn’t realized the extent to which you were being neglected by them. “I’m sorry, doll. Really sorry.”

“Doll? That’s new,” you comment.

“I figured you deserved a petname of your own,” Ellie informs you. “Now, explain this ‘sweetheart’s cradle’ to me.”

[iloveauntmay]

Hey babes

I know I haven’t been so active lately and it will probably go on for a while because I’m having a hard time with my mental health. I thought I should talk about it a bit more, because I have already mentioned it once or twice but never anything specific. If you’re triggered by this topic, please, do not keep reading. I won’t be angry with you, I promise.

So I’m (we’re, actually) still trying to figure out what the heck is going on inside my head. At first, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic disorder. I was quietly fighting my battles, getting some scars during the process which eventually got me hospitalised. I got new meds there because the ones I was taking before weren’t working (clearly). Turns out, I don’t only have depression, anxiety and panic disorder but there’s also a big possibility of me having borderline personality disorder (I clearly have the major symptoms). I also had to change meds again lately, because my depression might be bipolar disorder (clearly showing the major signs). I also feel depersonalised and derealised basically all the time, and I don’t know who the real me is anymore. I’m not telling all this to get some pity from you, I’d just like to inform you about my absence and it would honestly do me some good if you guys came to me and we talked some, about anything really, but mostly your experiences with mental disorders (if you’d like to talk about it and don’t feel triggered). I honestly feel like it would mean a lot as well as some kind words because I’m feeling so alone as never before.

Please know that if you have any mental illnesses, you definitely aren’t alone and don’t be afraid to talk about it. I know how hard it is, but we’re always here for you and you can always come to me if you need a friend or just someone to talk to. Don’t let your disorder control your life. You’re a bad bitch and can show that fucking illness who the boss is here (it’s defo you).

Thank you for all of you who leave some messages in my inbox but also for those who don’t; I know that some people are way too shy or anxious to write asks or messages and it’s totally okay, I definitely get it. Just know that I love you all and I’m happy that I have such great followers.

Take care of yourself my babies 🌻

[night-panda]

I agree with the other anon. It's like you pick and choose such small parts of the movie and blow them up until they ~symbolize~ something - often by taking them completely out of context. I think you just want to be mad. Which sucks for you because it's actually way more fun to just enjoy the movie.

Original Rant

Original Anon

Hey nonny, what I’m understanding of your message is that either, 

a) The material given should not be analyzed and taken at face value. Which does make the movie going experience much easier as it makes inconsistencies, plot holes and problematic themes get a pass as they become void of importance. I will admit, if no thought is given while watching a piece of media, most things are pretty satisfactory. However, that does not mean that problematic elements are not still there. Rather, what this says is that we should just take what is given, even if it’s bad, sit down, shut up, and perpetuate harmful stereotypes and tropes because really who the fuck cares?

Who the fuck cares about sexism? Racism? Anti- semitism? Victims of abuse? Who the fuck cares what happens in the subtext, it wasn’t in the text? If they didn’t explicitly say a thing, then surely it’s not there. If it wasn’t a major point of the movie then surely it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I, and I alone, was not harmed by anything that could possibly have a deeper meaning I’m not seeing, so I’m going to say anyone who thought too much about this is being ridiculous. It’s a movie, who the fuck cares, don’t think too hard about it and just enjoy yourself.

That’s one way I see this message. That critical thought should not be put into a piece of media, even if that media is vastly influential and reaches millions of people. That subtext actually has no meaning and symbolism that isn’t explicitly stated can not be found in anything by anybody. But it’s okay if the movie was fun.

or

b) That authorial intent trumps any and all other interpretations of a piece of media. That if the intention of something being there wasn’t in the creation of the piece than it’s not there. I’m not going to get into this debate. Here is a video about authorial intent, and specifically so in the case of JK Rowling by Sarah Z. However, the short of it is that because authorial intent is the only way a piece of art should be viewed no one can have their own interpretations of a piece of media. Anyone with differing life experiences, and therefore perspectives on a given work, are invalid because their interpretation is not what was considered when creating the work.

Further, in regards specifically to the movie, who is to say what is a small component of it? Just because you don’t think something is important, doesn’t mean that it isn’t to me. Just because your priority in the movie going experience may be overall plot (which in my opinion was rushed) or visuals or what have you, isn’t my priority in what makes a movie good for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still like visuals, I still want a good plot, but that’s not the be all end all. 

What makes a movie good for me are the characters, their dynamics, coherence with the larger universe. So when something happens to a character I care highly about, like a kind Jewish woman in a loving relationship, turns out to not only drug her boyfriend to entrap him in a marriage he said he didn’t want (perpetuating a long standing stereotype of Jewish woman, of which I am), and then have her join literal magic Hitler, it’s going to have a big impact on my viewing of this movie. It’s not just a small thing to me being blown out of context. It is a major component of the movie to me. You may not care about this character, you may not place importance on her well being as a contingent to your enjoyment of this film, but I do. Seeing characters being badly written and needlessly killed (Queenie and Leta respectively) have a major impact on how I view a film because that’s what I think about when I consider if I liked the movie.

This doesn’t even mention the myriad of other things that I am mad about. The pacing of this movie was bad. It was rushed and the transitions left me confused multiple times throughout the movie to the point it took me out of the world. Other things that were just bad include: ignoring universe lore/canon, ignoring the established timeline, having characters serve no purpose other than just being there, having plot lines that didn’t go anywhere, and so on.

Further my main points of contention that I mentioned are not out of context? Where did you even get that idea from? Here they are:

1. Queenie gave Jacob a love potion because he didn’t want to get married and she did. This is explicitly said to be the reason why she drugged him and is the issue of their marriage is a big argument between them through the whole movie.

2. Queenie voluntarily joined with Grindlewald at the end of the movie. I won’t believe she was drugged until we get proof. Manipulated, perhaps, but out right drugged? I won’t say until it is confirmed. The point is she joined him willingly. And I am mad about that be cause of what we do know about the wider universe. We know that Queenie is Jewish and we know that Grindlewald worked with his non-magic counter part (Hitler) during WW2. It is not blowing anything out of context when I say that I am mad that a Jewish woman joins magic Hitler.

3. Leta’s death was meant to allow the boys to escape. However, when I say it was pointless, it was because there were other ways this could have happened. As I’ve already said they could apparate out. We saw others do it, and therefore so could they. We know the actual purpose of her death was literally to push Newt to the “right” side  and fight against Grindlewald. We know this because he explicitly said he was not going to choose a side, he maintained this stance until Grindlewald killed a person he cared about in front of him and he confirmed he was only now against Grindlewald. However, his not choosing a side was iffy writing at best but could easily have been done in other ways. I think it was poor writing on Newt that didn’t have him already against the giant racist but, again, his picking a side against magic nazis was already kinda ensured by him working for Dumbledore. All this with the added bonus of man pain that’s almost guaranteed all over the next movie with that parting line of Leta’s. Her death has become his motivating factor and that’s just a bad trope that could have been avoided.

4. Leta’s mother being kidnapped, raped, and then dying. Me stating it as such and then being mad about that isn’t out of context. Literally, that is what the characters said happened to her and I don’t like it. It was meant to be horrifying, it is horrifying, and it did not have to be that way. The poem prophecy or whatever I hear people saying, what about that? People do know JK wrote that as well? She could have shifted it anyway she wanted. The mother could have left voluntarily with Lestrange, and there could still be that drama with the older half brother and the prophecy. She didn’t need to be raped and kidnapped to keep that plot point. However, that was made pointless with the reveal of Corvus actually being dead anyways. I’m just saying.

5. The house elf thing. This I think may be the smallest thing that I blew up, but I do so because it was gross, like really really gross. Like I found it mind bogglingly gross and when we learned she was half elf it took me out of the movie world for like a solid half minute just thinking of all the implications. However, in context we met the half elf lady as the maid to the Lestranges, who, as a wealthy pureblood family defo keep house elves (which are canonically literal slaves). Like, it’s not a leap to say she is the product of one of the Lestranges raping a house elf and then kept in servitude as actual children of slaves were in the past. That “maid” was just a nicer way of saying slave. This bit did not need to be in there but it was, and it’s gross.

6. I’m not going to touch the Credence backstory thing. In the film he joined Grindlewald because he wanted to “know who he was” or whatever. But everything leading up to it and the reveal after it makes no god damned sense. Grindlewald is still going to use him though, just like he planned to do through the first movie. Grindlewald literally just wants an obscurus to cause havoc and doesn’t give an actual shit about the actual person and Credence just goes along with it. Doesn’t matter that Credence didn’t want to be a monster, doesn’t matter that he just wants someone to love him, he’s gonna go become what everyone already feared him for because Grindlewald said he’s a Dumbledore, even though that’s impossible and makes no sense. Whatever, no big deal.

I believe I hit up all my main points of initial anger again. I hope that clarified.

TLDR: 

Nonny, I did not go into this movie wanting to hate it. I absolutely adore this universe and I was halfway in love with Newt Scamander for the longest time. I love this world and I love these characters. However, that does not stop me from critically thinking about a piece of media that is put in front of me. 

When I say that this movie was bad, it’s not because I actively wanted it to be bad. I did not waste my time, money, and cosplay effort so I could go bitch online after the fact. I say it’s bad because it was bad. I was deeply offended, disturbed and disappointed with how this movie was handled and the implications of many of the creative choices made. 

You and I may have different standards to what makes a good movie, we may have different triggers to what makes us mad, and you know what? That’s fine. You can enjoy this movie all you want, and I don’t hold that against you. You have the right to interpret this movie however you damned well please, but so do I and I think it’s trash.

[realmzenith]

answer All the questions for your newest oc

DEAD U HAD TO ASK FOR NEWEST DIDN’T YOU. welp in that case have ya boi eneko

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?he’s a patient dude! eneko can likely sit still doing nothing for as long as his physiology will allow aka until he needs to go to the bathroom or smth. he does well w low activity as he’s an introspective person

How easy is it for your character to laugh?FAIrly easy?? on a level of one to ten w one being laughs at anything that moves or doesn’t move i’d say he’s a.. 6. ok so not that easily like he IS fairly taciturn but he will smile and laugh at a good joke esp if he’s comfy around the person making it

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)by crying- no jk he doesn’t… cry… emotions? what are those??? (thats a lie he’s an emotional mess) he will plan for the next day, strategizing and such but that’s honestly rlly bad for him. he stresses easily. on nights when he’s got a clearer head he’ll hum softly or read if he’s not feeling too guilty abt burning off candles. he does like night walks they always clear his mind

How easy is it to earn their trust?oh oof that’s a tricky one. not that easy but at the same time- OKAy yeah just not that easily from one being the easiest to ten being the hardest he’s likely a 8

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?VERY hard. once you’ve gained his trust he will be LOYAL af to u eneko is quiet n not the most expressive but he will absolutely go down in flames for someone he’s deemed trustworthy. a solid 9. 

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?laws are flexible defo. he PREFERS structure but if morality trumps laws he will break them. it also helps that he’s lowkey part of a rebellion so technically his existence in the present is breaking the law

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?god save us all. he’s a nostalgic dude so uh, oh damn i dont have backstory for him yet i made him last night rainy stop bullying me but ykw we’re doing this. flowers defo. queen anne’s lace n bluebells esp? bring back memories n also pumpkin stew. mixed memories w that one. queen anne’s lace mean sanctuary n bluebells mean gratitude which is LOWKEY ironic considering they spawn memories of burning along w memories of his older sisters so yes?? he does like remembering his sisters but no not in that context. the stew is a weird reminder of his first love n that’s. also complicated 

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?talk more and talk better. he’s got a bit of habit of being short abt things and the middle sister of the fam was ALWAYS getting on his case abt no u can’t word it like that but the eldest was and is a terrible influence n absolutely encouraged it bc she found it hilarious. it’s good they love each other i swear

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?yes he’s part of a rebellion and a soldier what more do u eXPECt and no he doesn’t remember his first swear word. he also doesn’t curse that much dont get me wrong. he has to be comfy around u

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?gosh uh. eneko is still v underdeveloped so i .. WELL I CANNOt tell u in the present it’s prbly smth angsty involving his sisters or his lovER but the answer to does it haunt him? yes absolutely he must Suffer :)

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?it depends on the situation’s levity. if it’s smth important he will absolutely bluntly ask for clarification if it’s smth casual he’ll just nod and pretend like he knows what ur talkin abt bc social anxiety is a b

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?Suffer in Silence

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he doesn’t rlly think abt this. he likes green tho but he wears a lot of black (that’s partially required by his associations and partially bc idk what other colors exist thanks @ god) he looks best in hmmm red

What animal do they fear most?himSELF 

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he’s usually fairly forthright so he sounds like he’s saying whatever comes to mind but the reality is he says abt 1% of what he’s thinking and he won’t say things that are quite obviously rude. who knows tbh maybe he gains secret enjoyment from watching ppl squirm under his bluntness eyes emoji

What makes their stomach turn?torture n he hates the sight of bones. blood he can stand but bones? no thanks. unfort in the business they’re in he comes across both of those more than he’d like. he also hates working in the theoretical. it’s unnerving but he’s fine if someone he trusts is wading thru the abstract for him aka thank u @ kent for being the resident intuitive 

Are they easily embarrassed?nah not particularly 

What embarrasses them?if u slap his BUTT in public jkjk i mean that would embarrass him if u caught him by surprise but hmmm he doesn’t like attention if u draw attention to him he’ll freak a lil that would fluster him also excessive praise esp if it’s expressed publicly. he squirms beneath the spotlight

What is their favorite number?19. day of the month he last saw his sisters smiling

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d prbly say smth deep which i cannot truly replicate but prbly smth like. “familial love is steady. it’s the mountain beneath which u were born. it’s the protection n the stability n the impossible sheer volume of it that can’t quite be comprehended. platonic love is like cords linking u to them. it’s the promise, the assurance of i will pull u up if u fall and if i can’t ill fall w u. it’s a tug o war and an anchor. romantic love is a stallion. it’s the passion and the chance but if u know how to tame it it serves to make u a better man than u could ever become on ur own. it’s the teamwork and the flames”

Why do they get up in the morning? to execute justice and to experience each new precious day he’s been gifted

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? it’s ugly when jealousy rears its head in him. he doesn’t SAY anything but his actions become more erratic and he has a harder time focusing. it’s likely he’ll become more impulsive. he’s not DANGEROUs per se but it’s not a situation u want him in

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? envy he’s better about. mostly bc unlike w jealousy he doesn’t already have the thing. it’s smth he’ll just push down and soldier thru like he does w most uncomfy things in his life

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? oh MY GOD DONT TALK ABT SEX that’s SCANDALOUS- the answer is no he finds it unprofessional in his line of work but he would be comfortable discussing it w his s/o

What are their thoughts on marriage? good. he approves. however, for himself he finds the prospect unlikely considering the high risk nature of what he’s involved himself w. he expects to die before 35 in all seriousness

What is their preferred mode of transportation? in the sweet embrace of death horseback

What causes them to feel dread? the knowledge that everything’s falling apart. that fate and circumstance are slowly but surely chipping away at the very foundation of what u live for and there’s absolutely nothing u can do to stop it. also freaking the appearance of the antagonist or his minions

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? in theory? no. in practice? he’s actually p sensitive that’s a difficult one to answer. it would greatly depend on the circumstance but in the long run he prefers the truth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? yes but in his own eyes, no. he holds himself to extremely high standards and is very self critical. also he has rlly unachievable ideals he’s a lil bit idealistic beneath the guise of realism

Who do they most regret meeting? ohohOHO jk i have no idea not there yet in the story but prbly the antagonist he’s a b

Who are they the most glad to have met? funnily enough? he could almost say the antagonist. he’s the reason why eneko’s working as hard as he is for what he is. without the introduction of the antagonist he would’ve been oblivious to the terrible injustice around him and likely ended up a victim by some obscure mindless death order. however the person he truly admires is the rebel member who took him under her wing however she’s still in the works so i can’t give u much on her

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? i don’t think so, no

Could they be considered lazy? NOPE not in any sense of the word. eneko works extremely hard. he’s v dedicated n dutiful

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? oh, very hard. he’s naturally altruistic so he tends to take failures to heart and internalize them and considering the dangerous line of work he’s in he oftens has guilt building up inside him. he’ll likely carry it w him for the rest of his life once he’s decided to be guilty abt smth. if someone doesn’t help him w it it can break him down in ugly ways

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? yes!! he’s a pure son. you’ll definitely get a smile out of him if smth good has happened to u. he’s very supportive of his friends. he would die for his friends and likely all of u i just want u all to know this 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?neither. he finds seeking romance irresponsible w his lifestyle. as i previously stated he expects to die young

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he has fairly good memory esp w faces! but otherwise? i would say he learns best by touch. he’s a tactile person and also fairly auditory. music defo helps him remember things

What memory do they revisit the most often? prbly the day he separated from his sisters. it’s not a particularly good memory but it’s seared in his mind

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? he doesn’t ignore ppl’s flaws per se? he’s p perceptive so it’s difficult for him to just turn a blind eye at least within his own mind but eneko is v tolerant of ppl and accepting. even if he dislikes u it’s doubtful you’ll know he’s fairly good at keeping up the same respect for most everyone he comes in contact w. but yeah? he knows what flaws are there but he will simply accept ppl bc he knows everyone, including himself, esp himself, has many flaws

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?oh oof yeah he’s?? a p sensitive guy so while he recognizes his own faults jabs to his weak spots will hurt him and he’ll prbly sit on the accusation or callout for days esp if someone accuses him of being selfish or immoral or not having done enough for the ppl he cares abt (smth along those lines) he’d absolutely hate that. but if u tell him he’s blunt he’s going to be like im well aware of that

How do they feel about children? he’s SUCH A DAD he loves kids and he’s rlly good w them they love him bc he’s SOFT ok but he doesn’t plan on having them himself even tho he’d like to for the exact same reasons he isn’t pursuing romance/marriage

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? enough that he’d die to reach it

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?eneko is either demi or grasexual w pan preferences. he’s also panromantic. if someone asked for explanation he’d be like “i’m attracted to people of all genders” and just leave it at that unless ofc they were like RLLY curious or smth but he doesn’t rlly consider himself demi or pan or anything he just knows he isn’t straight LOL

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?…strong silent type. that’s all i have to sayB) What inspired you to create them?i’ve taken some inspiration from other characters from shows, etc. i’ve written so he’s a bit of a love child of the best of my musesC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?im still figuring it out so that’s a probable yesD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?he’s been edited a bit there were a few reincarnations of him like at first he had straight black hair in an undercut style but now it’s WAVY and dark brown and he also got darker. id say he’s like latino w a lil african blood this is esp amusing considering i literally created him last nightE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?i think we’d get along alright if we could get past the initial awkwardness bc we’re both kind of crap at interpersonal relationships actually he isn’t that bad it’s mostly me and i THINK he might find me slightly abrasive n energetic (even tho im PLOT TWIST low energy compared to most extroverts) but he’s tolerant it wouldn’t be too badF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?love…. i love my soft boi i usually hate my ocs aka i would slap them if given the chance but eneko? deserves happinessG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?he is not real in general and non existent in actual writing as of the present. the latter tragedy i will soon solve. in all seriousness it’s prbly his bluntness it has the tendency to give me second hand embarrassmentH) What trait do you admire most?his tolerance and patience i have none loLI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?for now, yes! i dont have a solid grasp of him so until then he’ll stay where he was BIRTHEDJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly! the entire story he’s in is still in the works so everything’s rlly flexible

[sukirichi]

i am a huge softie haha so I definitely gravitated to Reckless' themes & style more than Earned It. I think i was ok with Earned It at the start, even when Gojo left reader,,,i actually thought that was the end, and i was ok (aight it was understandable, valid Gojo, valid) hahahahah and then it continued, and i was so sure where it was going and it hurt but... i am a total sucker so i read the following chapters...and yeah, i definitely have issues hAHA the things that i get triggers about are things most people on tumblr love. Your writing is really beautiful tho :')) but yesss, please don't push yourself to writing smthn u don't wanna do (at least on here, uni sucks) because it'll take away the fun from your art process :'(( I'm rlly excited about Reckless tho, and Im glad you have fun writing it!!! Hehe a lot of ur anons talk about Earned It, so i stay away from that discourse (bcoz i am a babie with huge abandonment issues). When i saw u talking about Reckless tho..😌💖💖 hahah thank you so much for sharing your writings with us!!! stay safe, suki!!!! drink lots of water 🤍🤍🤍

Hey! Oh yeah it’s totally fine, please don’t force yourself to read things that make you uncomfortable even if it’s what most people like. Yeah it defo takes my spark away and I was stressed out about Earned It a lot so I’m happy I don’t worry about it anymore. And aww bb, do you want a hug? 🥺 OH YEA I LOVE RECKLESS! Just wanna write somth really cute 💕 thank you for reading them, altho pls pls don’t read somth that’s out of your comfort zone or could trigger you okay? your emotions and comfort matter. stay safe too bb and yes drinks lots of water and get good rest too! 💕

[my-actual-life-dot-com]

March 14th

IT’S NEXT YEAR BAYBEEEE!!

Yeah, kinda forgot about this blog.

I have stuff to say BUT FIRST I GOTTA TALK ABOUT MY PROFILE PICTURE OR WHAT EVER YOU CALL THAT.

i did have red hair. At one point. Like a year ago. Then I shaved ALL OF IT and dyed it dark brown again. (That’s my natural hair.) Then I grew it (also I was kind of hate crimed at work every day BUT OH WELL TRANSPHOBES CAN JUST FUCK OFF  I DON’T EVEN CARE ANYMORE.) Okay then it grew like 2 inches and I bleached it (twice because my hair is naturally so dark lmao). And why did I bleach it? BECAUSE I WANTED TO DYE IT PURPLE! It was sort of pinkish purplish whatever. Then I was tired of that, I cut it again. (NO I DID NOT SHAVE IT THIS TIME.) I like shaved the sides and the back and like had longer parts like in the middle IDK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. And I dyed it black. Then it just kept growing and faded to my natural dark brown and then I just had that style. I just cut it and it grew and I cut it. THEN DISTANCE LEARNING STARTED. AGAIN. This is actually what I wanted to talk about all along so let’s include that in the story.

Soo... Distance learning. My old.... Friend.... I really hated it the first time. That was like a year ago. I didn’t learn anything. My attention span is so small. I wasn’t able to focus because I had so much things around me. At one point I stopped even trying. I did get my usual grades tho but that was only because I had the internet and the textbooks on me so I was available to just check the answers from there. THE ONLY SUBJECT I DIDN’T CHEAT AT WAS SPANISH BECAUSE I LOVE SPANISH AND THE TEACHER ASKED SO NICELY!!! SHE’S AN AMAZING PERSON AND HONESTLY DESERVES EVERYTHING!!!!

Okay enough about my Spanish teacher. So again, I completely gave up on my education. I learned NOTHING. Not. A. Single. Thing. I had important courses but... NOPE. 

TRIGGER WARNING: TALKING ABOUT DEPRE$$ION, DY!NG, SU!C!DE

Okay but it was hard for me because of other reasons too. I wasn’t able to see my friends, I wasn’t able to be social, I wasn’t able to go to school normally. So everything went so bad. I don’t understand how but for some reason the period of distance learning and social distancing really REALLY got me. It CRUSHED me. I was so, DEPRESSED, I could even say. Yes, I’m breaking out the D word.

Another tangent by the way. I’m really scared of using the D word because I don’t have depression but I still feel the symptoms of depression sometimes. (Like we all do.) Like I can’t be bothered to do anything, I’m not sad but just apathetic and unmotivated and literally can’t do anything. And just want to not be alive anymore. And that’s not sad to me. That’s feeling depressed. Or at least that’s what I could imagine. I don’t know. But I think we all have those rough patches in our lives, don’t we?

Anyway, I felt really, REALLY bad. Never felt that awful before. I’m so glad I have a dog because I went outside every day to walk him at least once. That was defo a life-saver. But like, I hated life so much. I wanted to be dead SO BAD. If there would have been a button that would have killed me if I pressed it, I would have. Several times. Oh I’m sorry this is getting really dark. 

TRIGGER WARNING ENDS HERE. NO MORE SAD TALK FROM NOW ON EXCEPT FOR THE VERY NEXT SENTENCE. AND THE ONE AFTER THAT.

So a quick recap: I was having a bad time. A rough patch, if you will.

And now we get to the part that I actually wanted to talk about. Distance learning again!!! Soo my country decided to do it like this: one week of distance learning, after that one week of winter holidays, after that two weeks of distance learning. And I was mentally preparing for it. SO MUCH ACTUALLY. I knew that it went horribly last time because of all the distractions around me so this time I had a different mindset. I was here to learn!!!!!!!!!1 But it went like this:

Day 1: yeah, yeah, kinda learning. Math was hard tho. Also I had one (1) class normally so it was kinda cool to see all of my friendos. (Okay yes only 1 ((or actually 2)) classes are normally because we have this huge musical production coming up and we can’t really practice from home.)

Day 2: yeah, kinda boring, Swedish was SOO boring and I absolutely hadn’t done any homework so I didn’t even try to learn. (This is where it all went wrong.)

Day 3: yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely opened zoom at least twice. Was bored so I cut myself a mullet. I actually love it very much although the upper part of my hair is longer than like the back part of my hair so I’m kind of still growing a mullet but WHATEVS. OH AND MY BROTHER WANTED A MULLET TOO SO I ALSO CUT HIS HAIR.

Day 4: yeah, yeah, definitely woke up. Opened zoom every class. Ignored everything and played my guitar / watched twitch streams. SORRY TEACHERS.

Day 5: yeah, yeah... Okay, actually NO. NOPE, NOPE. I GOT NOTHING DONE. I GOT SO BORED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY I STARTED MAKING TIKTOKS AND I BAKED LITTLE WITTLE TEENY TINY CAKE BABIES. HATED THE WHOLE DAY. SPENT 10 HOURS ON MY PHONE. 

After that was my winter holiday. Yay. Now it’s Sunday the 14th, last day of winter holiday but honestly I don’t really care because this doesn’t really feel that different from distance learning. I just have to pay a little less attention.

Oh dang sorry I got distracted and wanted to know how fast I type so I just did like a bunch of WPM tests. (89 in my native language and around 70 in English btw.)

Yeah okay so I think I’m finally getting to the end of this, this post wasn’t supposed to be as long as it is but OH WELL. Distance learning starts again tomorrow, I’m feeling just fine and I think I might have ADD or ADHD. 

Before I go on another tangent, 

HAVE A GREAT NIGHT!

[imhereformysciencefriends]

Uhhh, uhhh, uhh??? Hello. There. I, uh, I'm sorry im so bad at introducing myself, but I wanted to ask you about something?? Your fanfiction, Somewhere Along in the Bitterness, is absolutely stunning, and I would love to send you some shitty fanart™ I've done of it. (P.S I really like the fanfic but if you could elaborate on Eridans Quadrants like his moirailship with Tavros and his Matesprilligance (haha see what I did there) with Dirk, I would actually die) also I dont know how to send fanart

Thank you!!! I would love whatever fanart you’ve created!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’d make me absolutely delighted!!!!!!!!!!!

You can make a post and @ me in it, submit it to me here on tumblr, just in any method put it in a post and I would Love You Forever.

And so okay! Eridan and Dirk are dating in flush(+ pale) in small part because they’re both lonely and crave a romantic connection, and in large part because the two of them, from how I understand them, are pretty similar. They both have the ability to look inside themselves and see something that is ugly. They are messes of wants and ambition and drive and self loathing knotted up in self destruction and I think they’d just really, really find a connection. Roxy and Feferi, beautiful and wonderful as they are, willfully ignored some of the things about Eridan and Dirk that were hard, and cruel, and ugly, and while there’s no question that they loved them that didn’t actually help. More than that, I think it resulted in Dirk and Eridan looking at the world and going “this is something about myself that I must hide for my own social well-being and the good of those around me” and whether or not  that was a conscious decision it still happened. With each other there’d be an understanding of “obviously I’m not going to act on these ugly emotions inside me but I still have them” and they could be honest with each other and understand where they’re coming from. That, and I firmly believe they would be very physically attracted to each other.

Tavros and Eridan I ship pale bc I think it’d make the two of them happy, ngl. Tavros likes faeries, Eridan likes wizards and magic, Tavros is a pretty stubborn person considering literally everything he’s been through and would defo be able to get Eridan to chill tf out and have some goddamned fun with magic. Tavros is such a GENUINE person you know? I think seeing him being unapologetically himself, enjoying the things he likes without shame, would be an example to Eridan to take that stick out of himself and just have fun for a little while. And while Tavros is remarkably stubborn on some matters he’s… remarkably easy to take advantage of, too, and is actually really bad at standing up for himself even when he’s trying his hardest, and thinks pretty poorly of himself, so I feel like he could use some absolutely OSTENTATIOUS displays of affection which you mf KNOW Eridan would do. Shows up on a flying seahorse in period clothing with a giant ass bouquet of pink roses and white alstroemerias before whisking him off to (neverland) dinner at a fancy ass place. Like. Tavros DESERVES it okay. Someone lavish that boy with affection and someone give Eridan an outlet for all his over-the-top displays. That boy has chilled out exactly 0 days in his life so he might as well use that towards making Tavros feel really fuckin flattered. Also like. Look me in the eye and tell me that if Tavros papped your face and told you that it was time to reign it in a little, you wouldn’t begrudgingly deflate. That is not a boy you can say no to. Moirallegience is based on a foundation of trust and a willingness to listen to each other, to believe that your partner is acting in your best interest, and Eridan would allow himself to be pacified by this beautiful, grinning boy. And Tavros would receive protection from this trigger-happy, aggressive fool, bc he deserves to be protected and valued and loved.

So yeah, that’s my reasoning on EriDirk and EriTav. Disasters who understand each other and good boys who deserve happiness.