#i actually did fall asleep while making this
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foodiegoogie · 3 days ago
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pahinga (rest)
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remus lupin x fem!reader | 1.7k
summary: remus can’t sleep again. luckily, you come to save him, and he finds his rest in you. cw/tags: self-deprecation, slight anxiety (?), three little eepy bois and one (1) insomniac, peter pettigrew appears (he’s not corrupted here), hurt/comfort <3 note: 'pahinga' means rest in filipino. its root word, 'hinga,' means 'to breathe/breath.' the 'pa' part can make it literally mean, 'let me breathe.' also, u can never have too much “reader patches up remus after a full moon” fics 🥰🥰 p.s. the vibes are inspired from isa lang (only one) by arthur nery <3
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It’s way past midnight in the Hospital Wing, and Remus knows this because his friends are knocked out around him; James is sprawled out like a starfish on a cot to his left, Sirius laid asleep at the edge of Remus’ own cot, and Peter had long since made himself comfortable in the cot on the right, curled up in a blanket. 
Usually, they’d be up late with Remus. Something about boys being boys, having an endless amount of energy surging within themselves. But they were also only human at the end of the day, despite being unregistered Animagi. 
Remus also knows that he should be asleep himself alongside his best friends, but this particular night had taken a toll on him. Sure, he’s had full moon nights happening every month, every year, ever since he was turned at four years old. But regardless of how frequent they took place, it never became easy to deal with for the lycanthrope. Especially not now while he’s unable to sleep.
Poor Madam Pomfrey—she’d given Remus countless potions to aid him in his condition, time and time again. But it seems like even the Sleeping Draught that was brewed for him earlier just couldn’t work on him either.
Thinking about failing to fall asleep is ironically keeping him from falling asleep. Remus Lupin is, quite frankly, stressing out about not being asleep yet. He knows he needs it, so why can’t he do it? He almost feels immensely envious of how easy it was for his own friends to have fallen asleep quicker than he did, and he was the one who turned into a werewolf that night. 
Remus turns his head to get a look at Sirius’ slumbering face where it lay at the edge of his cot. Sirius is a handsome being, whether asleep or not. But right now, his wide-awake friend doesn’t know whether to be glad because he gets to appreciate his friend’s company because he’s asleep, or if said friend should be frustrated for the very same reason.
Before Remus even gets to decide however, he hears footsteps scurrying towards the entrance of the Hospital Wing. He perks up at the sound, attempting to sit up in his cot but failing, wincing as he was reminded of his injuries.
He doesn’t know which comes first: the sound of the double doors being pushed open or the bags of chocolate falling to the ground, coming from your arms.
Remus’ bleary eyes flicker over to your incoming presence - how he knows you’re here for him is needless to say with the bags of chocolate you’re re-gathering in your arms presently. He sees you throw an apologetic glance, mouthing “sorry,” but Remus receives it with a lazy smile, more amused and fond than it was teasing.
“Hope I didn’t wake them,” You whisper to him as you approach his cot, looking warily at the three slumbering boys surrounding him. Remus feels compelled to follow your gaze towards them, address that you didn’t actually wake them (and he’s certain that you didn’t, the lads sleep like a log), but his eyes remain on you as well as his smile.
“What’re you doing here?” He murmurs.
You scoff quietly, giving him an incredulous look. “What, not even a ‘hello, how are you?’ You’ve changed, Lupin.” 
Remus’ smile widens at your words, the familiar banter bringing a lighthearted feeling in his chest. He doesn’t know if it’s because of his fatigue mixed with frustration that’s making him feel lightheaded, but he finds himself momentarily entranced by the sight of you as you start to near him in his cot. The moonlight which filtered through the windows finally landed on your features, and Remus was convinced at that moment that he’s met an angel in person: you.
“Anywho, I come bearing gifts,” You perch yourself on the edge of his cot, setting down the array of chocolates beside him. Remus shifts so that there’s more room for you in his bed.
He looks down at the sweets, the corners of his lips quirking up into a lazy smile, then looks back up to you. 
“Dark or milk?” Remus asks.
You furrow your eyebrows, giving him an incredulous look to which the boy grins at. “Milk, duh. I’m not dumb, Remus. You only go for dark when you’re feeling fancy.”
It’s true; Remus doesn’t like dark chocolate as much as he likes milk chocolate, which is a classic and a whole lot sweeter than the former. He tries not to think too hard about how you knew that about himself like it was just sitting casually in the place of your mind. He wonders, then, about what else you knew about him, and took care to remember and save for times like this. His heart races at the thought. 
“Did you come all the way here to butcher me for my taste in chocolate? Flattering, really,” Remus quips, reaching for one of the chocolates.
“No. I came here to do just that and more actually,” You mirror his actions, unwrapping the chocolate from its plastic shell, popping the whole treat in your mouth all in one go. 
It’s a lot more attractive than Remus would like to admit - you being so unapologetically yourself, uncaring about being seen as prim and proper. Here you are, sitting in front of him, munching on the chocolates you’ve brought him and looking like a squirrel stuffing nuts in its mouth for the winter. Adorable, he thinks.
But then your eyes narrow at him, and he’s caught in the act of shamelessly staring at you. It’s only then that he realizes that he has been staring at you.
“See something you like?” You wriggle your eyebrows suggestively, reaching for another chocolate from the dwindling bunch on the bed.
“No,” His voice comes out a little breathy, an octave a tad higher than what’s normal. Remus clears his throat. “Just- it’s amazing how you keep going.”
You pause mid-bite into another chocolate drop, putting it back inside its plastic wrap with a sheepish smile. “Right, I brought these for you. Not for me.”
“S’alright,” Remus smiles fondly at your suddenly shy expression. “I couldn’t finish them all by myself, anyway.”
A soft chuckle falls from your lips, shoulders relaxing from his reassuring words. Even in such a state, Remus still goes out of his way to make sure people are cared for in his own, heartwarming ways. But rarely does he ever take the time to inflict the same kind of treatment to himself. 
And, speaking of which—
“I thought you’d be asleep, you know,” You blurt out all of a sudden, fidgeting with the unwrapped, uneaten chocolate in your hands. “coming here. So… why aren’t you?”
“Dunno,” Remus lets out a deep sigh, his fatigue finally coming through in his expression. Your chest tightens at the sight and sound of it.
Finally, he finishes, saying, “I just… can’t.”
Almost instantly, a knot forms between your brows at the same time the corners of your lips turn downwards into a slight frown. Remus hates being pitied. He’s had enough of people apologizing on his behalf, as if he had been a mistake in the first place long before he was given this unfortunate tragedy, a weight he has to bear on his shoulders for the rest of his life. 
But with you, it’s never pity that he sees in your eyes when you look at him. It’s something warmer, something that’s coming from a deeper place of intent. Something like care—genuine care, and concern. Perhaps there’s more than that, but Remus is already dizzy enough as it is right now, and he doesn’t want to render himself unconscious just because he’s feeling a little lovesick by you. 
“Oh no, I’m keeping you up, aren’t I?” You say, and Remus is a bit startled by it. You don’t notice. “Should I leave? I– I feel like I should leave—”
“No, no. Just—” Stay.
Remus reminds himself to be very careful with his next words, lest he betrays his true feelings and ruins one of the few good things he has in his godforsaken life. 
Another thing that he hates is owing people something, or anything really. It’s no big deal for him to go out of his way and be the giver rather than the receiver out of a pair, but it bothers him to no end to think that he’d actually have people do something—anything just for him. 
For some reason, it just feels… wrong for him. Almost as if Remus believes that he doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment. 
But for the love of Merlin, he’d really like to get some sleep, and he really likes you being here with him. And if you walked right out of the Hospital Wing right now, leaving him alone, Remus is certain that he’d be getting no sleep at all. 
So, just this once, he’ll be selfish. 
“Just… just talk to me. Tell me about your night.” 
You furrow your eyebrows, a slightly amused smile coming alive on your face as you ask, “My night? Well, my night’s going pretty well right now.”
Remus rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face betrays his true emotions. “Tell me about your day, then.” 
Now, a full-blown grin takes place on your face. “Now that I can do.”
And so, you start telling him about your day in a hushed voice, careful not to be too loud as you recount something that had made you happy during the day so as not to wake the other three boys you’re surrounded by. 
Far along the way as you’re speaking to him, your hands—yours and his—drift closer and closer to each other. Remus wonders if you notice this, even as you’ve taken ahold of it now and started to play with his fingers absentmindedly.
Before he knew it, he was on the way to dreamland by the ticklish yet gentle feeling of you tracing the lines of his palm, coupled by the soft timbre of your voice, low and sweet. 
It is then that Remus realizes that he finds his absolute rest in you. 
A shame that he managed to miss the featherlight kiss you leave on his forehead as you bid him a good night, though. 
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aaa thank you for reading! (づ ̄ 3 ̄)づ as always, likes, replies, and reblogs are very much appreciated !! <3
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xenteaart · 7 hours ago
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the hard way
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pairing: vampire!chris x to be vampire!reader genre/warnings: dark romance, mean chris, angst? kinda dead dove, mentions of death, blood and a lil gore (not too graphic tho imo), it's okay in the end??? and they're in love plot: reader is getting turned into a vampire and it's not as cool as she imagined author’s note: obvsly heavily inspired by railway and that SPITTING SCENE. idk it's prolly gonna flop but i wanted to picture that process and a not so hot side of it
“no.” “why not?!” “because i told you so a million times already. we’re not discussing this.” chris spits out and furrows, growing more agitated with each passing second.
“what, you don’t want me to be equal to you?” you ponder desperately while your mind searches for any, any reason at all as to why chris won’t turn you. it’s been getting to you for the last couple of months, and you’re sure you’ve gone through every possible explanation your troubled brain could come up with: he doesn’t love you. he doesn’t wanna spend eternity with you. or maybe it’s a power thing. or, or, or...? this endless cycle of worry and uncertainty has been keeping you on edge for way too long to think clearly now. “gosh, it has nothing to do with equality,” he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “what is it then?” “drop it.” you snap. “we’ll have to find out the hard way, then.”
you grab the nearest kitchen knife, and it turns out to be the one you use for cutting meat, a chef’s knife as they call it. how fitting. chris barely has enough time to catch up with your madness infused impulse, and when he turns his gaze back to you, the knife is already deep in your guts.
you thought it was gonna be romantic or somewhat dramatic at least. something from the movies where he sinks his vampire teeth into your neck, and just like magic — your eyes flash bright red, announcing the beginning of a new life.
“you dumb bitch,” he exhales shakily and somehow manages to catch you in time because the sharp pain in your stomach makes you lose your balance instantly. you’re still bitter and angry in the heat of the argument and you expect him to be the same way, but when you glance up, chris looks nothing but panicked. “that’s a new look on him,” you think, and it confuses you.
chris growls and sinks to his knees, carefully holding you and trying to move as fast as possible. what you don’t know is that turning can only be done in around thirty seconds since fatal injury. that might explain the rushing and chris’s pure bambi eyes panic but your consciousness is already starting to drift away to hold onto that train of thought.
chris bites into his wrist with unmasked fury, tearing and ripping his own veins even though using a knife would have been much cleaner. probably less painful, too. “swallow. now! come on, don’t you fall asleep on me now, focus!” he grabs your face and presses hard on the jaw joints, making you open your mouth like a puppet doll.
the sickly metallic taste of your own blood at the back of your throat from the internal bleeding mixes up with chris’s thick blood that he generously spits into your mouth, and you want to throw up. your head feels dizzy as your eyelids are getting heavier, your hearing suddenly fails completely as if someone turned the volume down from ten to zero. limbs are falling weak, and the pins and needles in them are so, so far from pleasant.
the thing about turning is... you actually have to die first. be fully, completely gone to be able to come back changed and corrupted, turned to the extent of your DNA having been violently rewritten. that you did not think through enough. the muscles in your throat contract almost on reflex, swallowing and gagging on the gooey salty substance, making your chest heave while coughing strangles you further. the tingles and nausea are so overwhelming and all consuming you actually catch yourself thinking dying would be a relief now. and then it follows as you wished.
you doze off for god knows how long but, by the looks of it, it can’t have been more than a few minutes because as you regain consciousness, chris is still looming over you, his own blood fresh on his lips. he’s blurry, though, everything is.
“come on, suck on me. c’mon, baby, there we go,” he coos as he brings his wrist to your lips, forcefully pressing it into your mouth and leaving you with little to no choice. the phrasing, unlike usual, doesn’t sound dirty or hot now, more like a life-saving command while you’re still so out it. it feels good, though, chris’s blood.
it doesn’t taste so metallic and gross anymore, and the texture feels almost soothing on your dry throat, like hot honey milk on a friday evening. suck, gulp, suck, gulp, suck, it almost lulls you back into serenity, some primal instinct of being attached to your only life line, finding comfort in someone’s warmth and touch and taste.
you wonder how much you’ve drunk already and whether chris will have anything left but you’re so, so thirsty you can’t even bring yourself to care.
what finally makes you stop is the sudden sharp ache in your gums. it feels so piercing the aftershocks are almost reaching your brain and eye sockets, and as you feel your old teeth fall out, a pair of longer fangs cuts through and settles into the upper teeth row. hot tears are stinging your eyes and you whine like a wounded deer, still unable to speak properly. it’s all too much, and you start to regret what you’ve done, and maybe, just maybe that’s why chris so passionately refused to put you through it. this kind of hunger and the animalistic, blood thirst driven rage were never something he wanted to inflict upon you.
your entire body is shaking but it’s not really a fearful tremor, more like restlessness, a new sort of “itch” somewhere deep, deep inside that you’ve never experienced before, the feeling so intense and soul wrenching you simply can’t disobey it. it makes you want to jump up and run.
“don’t worry, i’ll teach you how to handle it.” chris cups your face after taking off his leather gloves so you can feel the comfort of his actual skin. the touch is calming, but barely enough compared to that growing desire and need to satisfy the itch. “you stupid crazy cunt, why do you never listen,” he whispers into your forehead, his lips lightly brushing over your cold sweat covered skin, as he holds you closer, squeezing you against his chest in a protective manner, though the real danger to yourself is now planted within you.
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madridfangirl · 10 hours ago
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Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)
Chapter 18
(Series Link)
Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.
Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?
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..........................................................
Ananya woke up the next morning, with Jude holding her close. Still on their sides, facing each other, his arm on her waist and one of his legs resting in between hers. Only difference being he was on the end of his pillow now, not hers.
She sighed & looked at his peaceful resting face, a picture of perfection. His features soft yet sharp. Manly yet boyish. The dichotomy never failed to amaze her. God must truly be proud of this particular creation of his.
He was here. He was really here. Not a figment of her imagination that she had conjured up in her despair yesterday.
Slowly, she traced his cheek with the back of her index finger. Rest of him was just hard muscle, but his face was soft. The skin feeling warm & squishy under her touch. He stirred a little, but his breathing evened again, and she resumed her exploration.
The trim seemed fresh, suiting him perfectly, but it was a tad too fine on the sides. She made a mental note of telling him that.
Her finger slid to his firm, muscly neck, lingering there. Something about his neck always did things to her. His pronounced Adam’s Apple always catching her attention. 
She could do this all day, just admire his beauty & soak in his presence. Especially after yesterday, when she had nearly lost it all. Again. 
‘Ummm colddd.’
Her hands were somehow always colder than the rest of her body, even under a blanket. Jude often called it a mystery.
Keeping his eyes still firmly shut, he reached for her palm blindly and then put it inside his sweatshirt, on his chest, warming it with his body heat. The gesture turning her into mush. She was about to hug him dearly but Jude being Jude said something wildly unexpected before that.
‘So you touch me often while I sleep?’
She stilled, gaping at him. He peeped one eye open, while rubbing sleep out of the other one. Even half-asleep he was notorious.
‘W-what?’
He scooted closer on the pillow, noses touching, as his lips curved up into a half-smirk.
‘Where all do you touch me?’
‘JUDE.’
‘Can I do it to you too?’
‘Stop right n..’
‘Imagine waking up with my head between your legs, huh? Or my hand? Bet you’d like it.’
‘YOU LITTLE ASS.’
‘Nothing about me is little, darling. You of all people should know it. And definitely not my ass, you love it.’
‘I hate it.’
‘Lies on Christmas? What would Santa say?’
‘Santa would understand, since I have to deal with a demon like you.’
‘Please, you adore me.’
‘Let me go.’
She struggled to get out of his hold but his grip was tight and his booming laugh quickly eroded the fight in her (plus she never actually wanted to get out of his arms, not really), making her giggle too at the silliness of it. The sound was music to his ears.
Jude buried his head in her hair.
‘Merry Christmas Eve, darling.’
His accent was somehow thicker in such moments, each word ringing distinctly in her head.
‘To you too, Jude!’
She knew he had done this to lighten the mood, and she was secretly thankful. Her emotions were still all over the place after yesterday, and were threatening to bubble over any instant. 
Ananya turned in his arms, facing him again, and was met with a charming, dashing grin. The boy should just be illegal, head to toe. She couldn’t help herself from reaching over and kissing his cheek.
‘When did you know?’
‘Know what?’
Jude knew very well what she was asking but he loved to play this game with her.
She rolled her eyes loudly and he quit the teasing.
‘Sometime after the dinner with the three of us. I think Jobe said something which I couldn’t stop thinking about, and then one thing led to another. I knew that night.’
‘So without him you won’t have realised?’
‘Sometimes I need help with these things. But honestly, I think I’ve loved you long before. That night just put things in perspective.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Don’t leave me hanging now. Tell me about you, when did you know?’
Flashes of that night came to her mind, when she had nearly blurted it out unknowingly. She told him she didn’t know the exact moment either but that was when she realised. Jude remembered that night. He knew something was off when she had dashed to the washroom like that but could never imagine the reason to be this. Until now.
‘I guess, somehow without me realising, you just clawed your way into my heart.’
‘I’m quite a clawer for what I really want.’
‘Clearly.’
They fell into a comfortable silence, her head lying on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythmic beating of his heart. While his fingers threaded through her hair.
‘I love dove.’
She looked up then.
‘Dove is love. So lovey dovey. Look it all fits. I’m so creative.’
‘You’re so silly is what you are.’
‘Pls, you’re jealous of my genius.’
‘Sure.’
‘Where’s my Christmas present?’
‘It’s….in the works.’
He looked at her suspiciously. But how was she supposed to know things would materialise in this way? She had assumed she would have more time till she saw him again, before her trip to India. 
‘Honestly, I didn’t forget. It’s in the works.’
‘Gimme a hint?’
‘In a way it’s similar to yours. In a way.’
‘You’re writing something? Making something?’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh I CAN NOT wait.’
‘Soon, baby.’
‘You’ll beat me, won’t you? It’s gonna be better than mine?’
‘Gosh it’s not a competition. And for the record, nothing could be better than yours. Not in a million years.’
‘Now that you say it..’
He preened a little under her praise and she found even that endearing. God help her!
But something was nagging her, something that she needed to let out.
‘Jude.’
‘Yeah?’
‘I was too harsh yesterday. Some things I said….I’m sorry.’
‘You were angry & hurt. It’s not your fault. Plus you were mostly right.’
‘But still I…maybe shouldn’t have said a few things….I didn’t mean them.’
Her hand gripped his sweatshirt and she sank further into his chest. Jude cupped her face with one hand, while his other hand ran up & down her back.
‘Shhh. It’s ok. Just tell me this - at any point, did you really believe I’d walk out on you like that?’
She took a deep breath. In her attempt to alleviate the pain, she had tried to convince herself of a lot of things. But the answer to his question was clear.
‘No.’
‘And did you know I’d fight for you? Come back for you?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s it then. That’s all I need - your love & trust. With that, we can get through anything.’
Overwhelmed, she snuggled into him, trying to crawl under his skin to get a load of his warmth and his scent. He held her tight through it.
‘Maybe we should talk about a few things though. Like what you said about my Insta likes.’
‘Now?’
‘Now’s as good a time as any.’
Reluctantly, she nodded, asking him to go on.
‘I thought about what you said. I’d be more mindful going forward. You won’t have any complaints. But if you do, will you please tell me then & there?’
‘Yes. Ok.’
‘It’s your right Ananya. You need to understand that. Believe that. Truly. You have a right over me, like I have a right over you.’
‘I hear you.’
‘Pls be more vocal with me. I need that. I’d love that. I’m not good at reading between the lines, you would have seen that by now. So pls help me there.’
‘I-I’ll try.’
‘Great. One more thing.’
‘What?’
‘Is the 100 Euro threshold still on?’
Ananya had set that as an upper limit for him to get her anything. This was her way to have a middle-ground to still let him get her stuff but nothing expensive.
‘What made you ask that?’
‘Because now we’ve said we love each other. And I wanna spoil you, like I do for the other people I love.’
She looked at him tentatively, and he knew the answer before she said anything.
‘I’d really appreciate it if we could stick to the threshold. For now.’
If Jude was disappointed, he didn’t let it show on his face.
‘Ok.’
‘Did I upset you?’
‘No, it’s fine.’
She reached out to cup his cheek. 
‘It’s not about you. Even with my parents, I haven’t taken a cent since I took up this job. And I don’t wanna take anything from them for my MBA also. Both Stanford and Harvard are expensive, but if I do well at work I’d get a full scholarship from my company. That’s why I applied for this team - more work, higher stakes but better incentives. Just trying to make my own way in this world and I am a bit of a stickler for that. And I get that you’re not trying to interfere with that in any form, that this is just your way to express yourself but pls give me some time to get accustomed to it. Also, it’s the gesture that counts right? Not the price tag.’
He turned his face to gaze his lips against her palm.
‘I respect that, really.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I’m glad you are telling me things like these, makes me feel closer to you.’
He had said that last night also. And she had felt it too. Strangely, this had not been an issue in her previous relationship. But somehow, with Jude, she hadn’t been able to communicate as effectively. For no fault of his.
Maybe because she didn’t feel inadequate with her ex. But with Jude, it was another story. Maybe, she should tell him that.
‘I-I saw her yesterday. Her pics.’
Jude sighed. He could already tell how she would have tortured herself in a thousand different ways and where all her mind would have gone.
‘Ok. And?’
‘And - I can’t be like that.’
‘Who’s asking you to be like that?’
‘Won’t you? At some point?’
‘Have I done anything to make you feel that way?’
‘No, but…’
‘But what?’
‘You’re 20 Jude. You may not know what you want.’
‘You’re 20 too.’
‘Yes. But age & maturity work differently in men & women. You said it yourself.’
Jude took a few deep breaths to calm his head before responding.
‘That maybe true. But I know that I want you just the way you are. And that my days of straying are over.’
‘Your friend had a different opinion.’
Jude looked at her with confusion and she referred to the video of his Dortmund friend Gio saying Jude would be the last person he’d want his sister to date, and that there were various reasons for that which he couldn’t get into.
‘Wow, stalking me much?’
She just shrugged.
‘Ananya, that was before us. And it was a joke answer to a hypothetical question.’
‘A joke answer based on some facts?’
Silence for 2 seconds.
‘Yes. But it’s in the past.’
‘Don’t wanna go back to that life? To just have fun?’
‘No. And I do have my fun with you.’
‘What changed?’
‘You. I met you.’
She looked at him with such a mix of earnestness and residual doubt that he felt like his heart would explode in his chest.
Jude kissed her lips for a good 30 seconds, calming both their nerves.
‘Baby, listen to me yeah? The kind of life & women you are talking about, I had that. In abundance. And I thought that would suffice for the next few years. That it would be ‘fun’ for the next few years. Till it's time to settle down. But somewhere along the way I started to get bored. It became just about some initial flirting then sex. And that was it, nothing after that. No conversation, no companionship, nothing. I didn’t even spend the night in the same bed, didn’t want to. There was no one to come home to. No one to talk to after a good day or a bad day. No one to share my thoughts with. No one to take me away from reality when the day-to-day became too heavy. No partner. No confidante. No one to love. No one to spoil. No one to watch a movie with or share a laugh with. No one to anchor me. No one to understand what this game and this club means to me. And I didn’t really know of this void till I met you. Remember how we talked for hours on our first date? I don’t even recollect the last time I had that or even wanted that with anyone. But you - you changed everything. And I know you’d call it cheesy but I kinda just had this feeling about you, from the moment I saw you in that cafe.’
‘It is cheesy.’
‘Such a hater.’
She shrugged. Jude knew she didn’t believe in fairy tales any more but he also had a feeling there was a time when she did. Then it all changed, maybe after her breakup. Since then she had hardened her heart and strived to become more practical. But in time, she’d believe in destiny again. Because he had started to believe in it now, since he met her. It could only be destiny which made his mother suggest that cafe, for him to stop there that day and look out the window. And everything that transpired after that. He was convinced it was written somewhere. It was ironic, because it felt straight out of a movie. And Jude wasn’t particularly fond of these rom-coms  (while she loved them wholeheartedly). But the tables had turned and he’d become a believer now.
‘ANYWAY, like I was saying, it all changed with you. I keep repeating it like a broken record, and will probably do that till you actually believe it, that I’m completely obsessed with you. I love every side of you - smart, opinionated, headstrong, feisty, sweet, kind, thoughtful, shy, football fanatic, Madridista. Just everything. Never met anyone like you. You want me for me, not the other things that come with it. Heck you would have liked me a lot more easily had those things not been there. Do you understand how rare that is? I know the feminist in you would scoff at this but most women I’ve met want me for other things. It’s true, don’t look at me like that. And you know what’s the sexiest thing about you? That you actually have no clue how sexy you are. You’re like a sexy little kitten. When you talk on your work calls in words I don’t even understand, it gets me so hot I can’t explain. Many times I’ve considered just grabbing you then & there. Have pictured taking you on your office desk, or on a conference room table, right after a big presentation. Don’t know what witchcraft it is that you’re looking so alluring even in this baggy night-suit. The definition of temptation from the Garden of Eden. Why do you think guys hit on you? Why do you think that lee….that colleague of yours fell for you? Dove, I can’t wait to show you off to people whenever we decide to go public. You’re perfect for me, just as you are.’
Her eyes were lowered, as she clung to him while hearing him profess how desirable he found her in that disarming baritone of his. The colour starting to seep into her cheeks & neck.
Jude sighed loudly, cupping her cheek.
‘I think of this flush when I touch myself.’
She slapped his chest.
‘Shameless boy.’
‘What? Sharing things with my girlfriend is shameless? I’d call that healthy communication. You should try it sometime.’
‘Yeah right.’
‘No seriously. Tell me something about my ass. I know you check it out all the time.’
The confident smirk was on in full force now.
‘You really are a menace.’
‘Thank you.’
He chuckled, the sound & his pretty face making her smile too.
Jude leaned over to kiss her cheek and they snuggled into a comfy embrace again, his big arms engulfing her, neither wanting this moment to end. After a few seconds, curiosity got the better of him.
‘Dove?’
‘Yeah.’
‘You think I’m too possessive?’
‘Where did that come from?’
‘Just something you said yesterday.’
‘I never said that.’
‘Not directly. But felt like you implied it.’
She rose up slightly, leaning on her elbow, looking down at his waiting eyes. His face so open & transparent. In his closed circle, Jude really walked the talk of sharing everything. With him, what you see is what you get. He would just blurt out the most random of things sometimes but no one could call him secretive, not with the people he truly loved.
It made her want to share too. But words were hard to come by. Mostly because that phase of her life she had locked away somewhere in her heart, never to revisit. Never to mull over. 
‘I don’t mind it. In fact, I sorta like it. Shows me you care. It’s different from what I’ve…..experienced before.’
Jude knew where this was going, and he patiently waited for her to continue at her own pace. She looked away & chose to share one particular instance to show what she meant.
‘Once, we were in a club in Goa. After our final term got over. We were in a big group but the two of us had separated mid-way. I was waiting for him to get a drink from the bar. A guy came over, quite drunk, and asked me to dance with him. I said no and he walked away, no fuss there. When my boyfriend….ex boyfriend came back I told him this and he wasn’t bothered at all. In fact he was like you could try it out, it was just a dance, just an experience. I didn’t get it at all. Like I can’t explain, it wasn’t a big thing, not like he did something major but it just made me feel a little less wanted.’
She turned to look at him, he was still listening to her intently. 
‘I know you would never do that.’
‘Never.’
He responded without missing a beat. She smiled.
‘I know, and I like that.’
‘Well, I’m glad. Coz I don’t know how to be any different when it comes to you.’
She stroked his cheek softly.
‘You don’t need to be.’
He covered her hand with his, holding it there.
‘If you don’t mind, what happened there? With him?’
Her face dropped, and she buried her face into his neck, fingers playing with the fabric of his sweatshirt.
‘You don’t have to tell me, but tell someone. It feels like it’s weighing on you, and the weight will only grow with time.’
Jude was right. She hadn’t really talked about it in detail even with her close friends back home. Not even her cousin. The official line she had used was that they grew apart, not much beyond that. Locking it away seemed like the best choice at the time, because the separation made her weak and desperate and she hated to be in that state. Hated seeing herself like that. She never revisited it later because what if thinking about that made her weak again? It was much easier to just zone out of it. But that wasn’t particularly healthy. She was surprised though that Jude had caught on to that.
‘Listening to me talk about my ex is not weird for you?’
‘I want you to talk to me about anything you feel. Wanna be your friend too.’
‘Hmm.’
She considered that for a bit, while he gently ran his fingers through her hair. Somewhere along the way she started talking.
‘We always knew we were very different in personalities. And after a point it started bothering him, though in the beginning he always told me we’d find a mid-way. Honestly, I didn’t do enough to find a mid-way too, it was my fault as well, but at least I tried. After a point, when he thought it was too hard, he stopped trying. He loved me a lot, not denying that, but it came down crashing very quickly when he checked out mentally. Which is why he got over it quickly too, he’s very practical that way. Always told me to never get too attached to anyone and never have too many expectations. I was not his first love, he had his heart broken by his high-school crush, which made him practical. But he was my first love, my first in everything, and I fell head over heels. He told me many times to not make my life all about him, and he was right there, it’s not good for either party. But I understood all that a lot later, when he was at a point of no return. He never really looked back, and it was hard for me to handle. So I cut off from him and that set of friends completely. It was easier to not see him at all than to see him completely alright. When I was nowhere close to it. This was in April. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since then. He’s not on socials so that makes it easier to cut off too. This wedding I’m going for would be the first time I see him in months. ’
It was all starting to make sense to Jude. Why she was the way she was and why she tried so hard to keep her guard up. 
That he was going to be at the wedding was not news to Jude, Ananya had told him well in advance. And it didn’t bother him. Well, mostly it didn’t bother him. 
‘I’m sorry you had to go through this.’
‘Hmm.’
‘Look at me.’
He tilted her chin to look into her moist eyes.
‘What did I say about tears?’
She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm.
‘Sorry.’
‘Baby - I’m sorry you had to go through this. But without that, you wouldn’t have come to Madrid and would never have met me.’
‘Yeah.’
‘It’s meant to be, I’m telling you.’
‘When did you become so cheesy?’
‘Your fault. You are doing things to me I don’t understand.’
‘Oh Jude.’
She turned to find his lips, kissing him dearly. He kissed back with equal fervour, flipping them to get on top of her.
The kiss became heated in no time and she knew where it would go if she didn’t stop him. So she rolled out from underneath him, leaving him high & dry, scooting away to the edge of the bed.
‘Excuse me?’
‘Excused.’
‘Thought we were having a moment there?’
‘We were. Then it ended.’
‘Thought I was punished enough yesterday. Clearly not.’
‘Told you I need some time.’
‘Fine.’
He sulked, tucking his arm under his head, watching her tidy up the room a bit.
‘Jude, you need to leave now.’
‘So you’re kicking me out also? Boy you’re cruel.’
‘It’s Christmas Eve. You need to be home. Now get up & leave. You promised.’
‘I said afternoon. It’s 11 am right now.’
‘Fine. Then go take a shower in Roma’s room, I’ll take one here & make some breakfast and then you will leave.’
‘Can I take a shower with you?’
She crossed her arms.
‘What do you think?’
He tried a different strategy.
‘Can I draw you a bath?’
She narrowed her eyes at him.
‘I’m good at those. Honest.’
‘Fine.’
He jumped up from the bed like a toddler who had been told he could skip school today, and headed straight to her washroom, banishing her from coming inside till he called her in.
When he did call her in, the place had turned into a mess but the bath-tub sure looked inviting, bubbles foaming well above it.
‘Thank you.’
‘I’ll help you get in.’
‘Didn’t know I needed help with that.’
‘Floor is wet. You need help.’
Amused, she decided to play along.
‘Fine.’
She tied her hair in a bun & took off her clothes. And Jude tried really hard to keep his eyes on her face. Really hard.
He extended his hand to her which she took, and he carefully guided her inside the tub. She hummed while sitting down, the hot bubbly water providing instant soothing.
‘Thank you Jude, this is lovely.’
‘I could help wash you with the loofah.’
She smiled. It was glaringly obvious what he was trying to do but it was cute as well.
‘Fine.’
He smiled wholeheartedly. And for a second she forgot what game he was playing.
Jude fetched the loofah and started with her arms, running it softly over her skin. She moaned a little, which was not helpful for his nether regions. He went to her legs and she moaned harder. Jude wondered if she was doing it on purpose to torment him but her eyes were shut and her face looked so innocent it couldn’t be so. 
Somehow, he carried on and moved to her back, but the angle was restrictive.
‘I could do it better if I’m inside.’
‘You wanna join me in the tub?’
‘Just to help wash you.’
‘Sure.’
Jude took off his clothes then, and she had to look away to not break her resolve. It didn’t help though, coz when he sat down he pulled her back to his front, and it was hard, so hard to remain unaffected. 
He continued the charade & rubbed the wet object down her front, paying special attention to her chest. She threw her head back & moaned, which made him groan too.
‘A little mercy here?’
‘This is your doing.’
Defeated, he carried on. The object tickled her tummy & she giggled a little. But the giggles died in her throat when he moved to her thighs. His actions slow & deliberate. Measured. 
‘Ju-de.’
‘Yeah baby? Want something?’
She whimpered as his hands continued going lower down her thighs, till the very apex of them. There, he stopped.
‘Don’t think this can go here, right?
‘Ermm no.’
‘Gonna have to use something else then?’
‘Y-yes.’
He threw the loofah away. And prodded at her sensitive folds with his long, strong fingers, pushing one inside her.
She shuddered & fell back against him, and his other arm came around her waist to support her.
‘Why deny yourself? Why not take what you want?’
He whispered in her ear. Despite being in hot water, her whole skin tingled with goosebumps.
The way his finger was filling her up made her head swirl. Her own touch wasn’t good enough anymore, since she had met him. It did nothing for her; her body ached for him whenever she had tried to tend to it last week. And now he was here. Offering to please her. How could she resist?
‘Yes? Say yes, baby.’
He punctuated that with perfectly timed thrusts of his finger, adding another one in, making it impossible to say no.
‘I love you.’
He cooed behind her. The words which were her ruin. Her undoing. 
‘YES. God yes.’
‘Such a good girl. Gonna take care of you now.’
His fingers moved gloriously inside her. Doing all kind of things to her insides. When he added his thumb to massage her sensitive spot, she shuddered violently and water fell from the sides of the bathtub, making him smile.
She needed more of him. Craved more of him.
‘Ju-de.’
‘Turn around. Hold my arm.’
He guided her carefully to turn and sit in his lap, bending her legs at her knees. She looked like a goddess, a wet naked Greek water goddess. 
‘Come here you.’
He grabbed the side of her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, plunging straight in, pouring all his longing into it. She whimpered & tried to hold his arms or the side of the tub but it was all slippery & she couldn’t find an anchor. 
The bubbles were hiding her from him. It was a travesty. Jude picked them up in his palms & started throwing them out of the tub, making more of a mess on the floor than it already was. She wanted to protest but his eagerness was endearing. When he had cleared them enough and her torso was visible, he went for her neck & chest, biting & sucking with abandon. Her soft moans filled the room, he revelled in those sounds.
His large palms cupped her butt, kneading them with force, lifting them to lower her gradually on his length. The angle made her feel him deep inside, and she gasped all the way through. 
After going in fully, he gave her time to adjust. She panted a little, trying to find the right slot for her legs to find some balance. The cramped space & his large body not giving her much room. After adjusting to the heavy intrusion, she finally looked at his stunning face. Droplets fell off his sharp jaw sultrily, putting her in a trance. If there was something more erotic than naked Jude, it was naked Jude wet. She leaned over to steal a kiss of her own, going for his cheeks first, then the tip of his nose, then finally his lips.
‘My prince.’
She whispered softly, and he preened under her nickname. 
Feeling emboldened, she leaned in again but this time she bit his cheekbones instead, followed by the tip of his nose. He chuckled, and did the same to her, ending with little bites on her bottom lip.
Her hand traced his torso, starting with his muscly neck, moving to his chest hair, then his six-packs and finally his happy trail. The touch sending sparks through both of them. 
‘I can’t wait anymore.’
‘Who’s asking you to.’
With another quick kiss, he grabbed her hips and started moving her on top of him. The angle hitting all the right spots deep inside. He quickly found THE spot & made a beeline for it. She shuddered & mewled & thrashed against him but he didn’t relent, making her peak shortly after. The speed & intensity with which her pleasure was wrung out of her left her completely breathless & spent. But he wasn’t done yet. He kept moving her like a rag doll, stimulating her excessively, till he filled her up with shots after shots of his pleasure. Her clenching muscles squeezing him of every last drop.
She fell forward on his chest, and he held her like a precious flower, rubbing her back softly, pressing kisses to the top of her head.
‘That was….it was…’
‘Amazing? Breath-taking? Out of this world?’
He grinned against her forehead. Her hand reached up to caress his cheek.
‘Yes. Because you are all of those things.’
‘Look at you, being mushy in love.’
She met his playful eyes then.
‘You’re doing things to me I don’t understand either.’
‘Why thank you.’
‘You’re also incredibly silly and say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times to completely kill the moment.’
‘But you still love me.’
‘Sadly, I do.’
It was getting late. She had to be the adult here. Grudgingly, she got out of his arms and out of the tub, leaving him behind to clean the mess while she made them some breakfast.
Jude entered the kitchen 10 mins later with water still dripping from his hair. She shooed him out, admonishing him for making a mess of the whole apartment.
Mumbling under his breath as to how she was so mean to him at times, Jude fixed his hair & the floor. Then plopped on the couch, one leg resting on the back of it.
He perked up when she emerged from the kitchen with two plates of French toast, a favourite for both of them. Jude pulled her next to him, and they ate side by side.
It was time. To leave.
‘Call Agnes. You’re going to the airport now.’
‘One more hour.’
‘JUDE.’
‘What? Why are you so eager to see me gone?’
He cried out, almost sounding hurt.
She moved to sit in his lap, and cradled his cheeks in her palms.
‘Baby - it’s Christmas Eve. I know how much you love this time. I know that your family is the most important thing in the world for you. I can’t be the reason to separate you from home right now. I can’t have that on me.’
‘You’re important too.’
He said that matter of factly and she wanted to cry out of love again. 
‘I know. But please, you can go now. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to stay back for me. I know that’s what’s holding you back, but really I’m fine now.’
Jude wasn’t sold. He knew she was still raw & overwhelmed from yesterday. He didn’t want her sitting alone & her mind going places. Her flight was day after tomorrow, she still had two more days here. 
‘What about your other friends? Work friends? They don’t have any plans around this time?’
‘They do..but..’
‘But what?’
She looked up at him, not wanting to say it. But he understood.
‘But he’s gonna be there.’
‘Yeah.’
Jude covered his face with his hands, sighing audibly. It was a rock & a hard place kinda scenario. But her staying alone was not an option.
‘I’ve said no.’
‘What’s the plan?’
‘What?’
‘What’s their plan?’
‘Umm they leave this evening for a cabin on the countryside, a 2 hour drive. Spend tonight & Christmas Day tomorrow there, then return in the evening.’
‘How many people?’
She looked at him oddly, unsure why he was even asking this.
‘5 of them, including him. 1 couple, one other girl, and 2 guys.’
‘What’s the sleeping situation gonna be?’
She rolled her eyes.
‘3 bedrooms. They offered to have me in with the other girl.’
‘Who called you for this?’
She rolled her eyes loudly again. As if Arjun would call her to invite her, after how awkward things had been between them.
‘Anna - the other girl.’
Jude covered his head with his hands again. Trying to reach a decision, while she sat confused. 
‘Go.’
‘What?’
‘You’re going.’
‘No I’m not.’
‘I don’t have a problem with this.’
‘Tell that to your face.’
‘Ok I do have a big problem with this. But I can’t have you here alone. So you’re going. Call them & confirm now.’
‘Jude - I don’t want any drama. It’s not worth it.’
‘I’ll behave myself, promise. Just don’t…don’t tell me anything about it. About him. Unless something major happens, I don’t wanna know anything. I’ll just pretend he’s not there.’
She looked at him incredulously.
‘You? You’re saying you don’t wanna know about him?’
‘Yes I’m making an exception. Look, anyone else I can handle, but that….that creature…I…’
‘You hate him. I know.’
‘Understatement of the century. But yeah.’
‘Jude, I don’t have to go. It’s not worth it.’
‘You’re either coming home with me or going with them. Pick.’
He didn’t leave her with any option. Going home with him she’d never pick, it was too soon, especially after all the drama that had just transpired. She was mortified enough that her parents got to know about them this way. 
‘Fine.’
‘Message them now. I wanna see it.’
‘And I’m the Hitler?’
‘Mostly yes.’
She sent the message, received a quick excited confirmation then shoved the screen in his face.
‘Happy?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m telling you now itself it’s not a good idea.’
‘The alternative is worse.’
‘Gosh you’re stubborn.’
‘Look who’s talking.’
‘Ok. Time to go now. Move.’
‘Wait. I just did this immensely mature thing and I don’t get a reward?’
His fingers started caressing up her sides, from where she was sitting in his lap.
‘You’ll get one when we meet next.’
‘Too far out. How about a quick one now?’
‘There’s nothing quick with you.’
‘We can try.’
His grip tightened on her sides as he leaned in towards her chest. She had to stop this now, else he won’t leave for a long time.
Summoning all her will, she batted his hands away and stepped out of his lap.
‘Seriously?’
‘Yes. LEAVE.’
‘My girlfriend leaves me high & dry, then kicks me out ON CHRISTMAS, after I’ve told her I LOVE HER?’
She cocked her head at him. He’d put a toddler to shame with all his histrionics.
‘Enough with this emotional blackmail. Now pick up your things & leave. I’m calling Agnes.’
She followed through and called Agnes the next second. Muttering under his breath, he stood up, went to the bedroom to get his things, then dragged himself back out, shoulders slumped.
Before he was about to open the door, she held his hand, stood on her tiptoes and pulled him down for a soft kiss.
‘I’ll make it up to you, promise.’
‘I’ll hold you to it.’
‘I know you will.’
She kissed him again, and his spare arm wrapped around her waist.
‘Jude, I love you, so so much.’
‘Love you too, my little dove.’
‘Call me after you reach home.’
‘Will do. And text me all the time you are there.’
‘Will do.’
‘And if anything major happens…’
‘Yes I will call you immediately.’
‘I don’t wanna go.’
‘I know. But you have to. And we’ll meet soon. Bye baby.’
‘Bye, darling.’
…………………………………………………………………….
There you go :)
Am still a bit unwell but didn't want to keep you guys waiting anymore. 6.3k words, phew!
2 more chapters to go till the end of the story.
As always, would love to hear your comments / thoughts / messages. That you for all the love to Jude & Ananya!
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anabdaniels · 3 days ago
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A Secret Santa gift to @papipascaaaal.
Huge thanks to @pedrostories for this marvelous event.
Paring: Marcus Acacius x Female reader
Summary: It was supposed to be the best work of your life analyzing the general's statue, you just didn't expected the statue to turn into the general himself.
Word counting: 7.6k
Rating: +18
Warnings: Major spoilers of Gladiator II, descriptions of damaged mental health, heavy angst.
A/N: This ain't 100% historically accurate for the sake of convenience, but nothing too serious. I created Acacius' full name based on this post by @elflutter.
Divider from: @saradika-graphics
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You couldn’t contain yourself.
And actually, you weren’t the only one, after all, it wasn't every day that a statue from 210 AD showed up so well preserved, especially after the failed attempt of a damnatio memoriae. You spent your whole day in the museum room where the statue was placed, walking around it as you took notes about what you already knew and what remained an incognita, fascinated about all the information you had and wondering about the things you might never find the answer to.
You were about to roll your eyes and dismiss whoever was knocking at your door and interrupting your line of thought, but you promptly smiled sympathetically as you saw the kind old man who worked on the museum's cleaning team.
“We’re closing, Dr.” the senior man warned in his usual sympathetic tone, refusing to let go to address you by your academic title even after the many times you asked him to.
“Already?” you stated surprised and checked the hours on your computer, surprised by how you didn’t see it passing “I fear I’ll stay a little longer.”
“New boyfriend?” The man joked while opening the door slightly more to take a better look at the statue “I don’t know how you’re not afraid of being locked with these things.”
“Yeah, the big boy is keeping me occupied.” You joked back while patting the statue “You get used to them with the passing time.”
“I’m fine being away from them.” He laughed and shook his head “Good night, dear.”
“Good night.” You turned back to your notes when the man closed the door, recovering your line of thoughts and inevitably getting lost in them, wondering about so many things. You had spent most of your life studying ancient civilizations, especially Egyptians and Romans, and some events always got you thinking if the ancient rulers were truly that full of themselves or were simply dumb.
That statue in front of you was one of those cases.
You looked at the inscription on the marble plinth, a few bronze letters have fallen, but the dented gaps where they used to be had the shape of the letters, keeping the phrase complete and readable: ACACIVS VICTOR AFRICAE. Being face to face with such an opulent statue you wondered how crazy or stupid Geta and Caracalla were to think that the people would be amused with what and how they did to Acacius after they had converted him into Rome's greatest hero.
“You must have lived a hell of a life, hum, general?” you chuckled and shook your head, putting down your notebook on the nearest table and walking to the coffee machine on the opposite corner of the room, pulling your phone from your pocket while you waited for your espresso to be ready.
After the first shot of caffeine of the night, you hopped to get your brain to work faster, especially having drunk it while watching that sequence of short videos, remembering your psychologist explaining to you how they were probably the biggest cause of your troubles to fall asleep quickly. As you put your phone down and took back your papers, you were just about to write down what the next subjects you needed to check about the statue, until the noises of the street cats distracted you, making you involuntarily look towards the window.
And that simple action made any thought you could have shut down completely.
You blinked once, twice, rubbed your eyes, looked both sides, and still couldn’t gather a single logical thing in your mind, after all, wasn’t every day that an almost 6ft tall statue simply disappeared from its plinth. By the morning when it was brought to the Capitoline Museum and you got in charge of studying it, you thought that could only be a dream while seeing that it seemed to have evaporated, you prayed to all and any gods for it to be a dream, but your hope to be living a nightmare was crashed at the very second you heard a noise among the shelves near the door accompanied by a huge shadow; definitely wasn’t a mouse trying to gnaw old papers.
“Who’s there? This ain’t funny.” You felt like a stupid character from a low-budget horror movie while taking a few steps closer to the origin of the noise, but it wasn’t even a conscious move. You froze completely as the figure came out of the dark, not knowing if you wanted to run away or get closer.
“I apologize, ma’am. I mean you no harm.” The man spoke calmly, his deep voice echoing in the room.
“How did you… There’s no… You were just…” you still were incapable of making any coherent statement while facing a Roman general alive and right in front of you.
“I do not know how I am here either, ma’am.” Acacius explained himself while raising his hands at the level of his shoulders, wanting to guarantee you didn’t see him as a threat.
“This can’t be fucking real. You were a pile of bronze just two minutes ago.” You shook your head, rubbing your face one last time to make sure you were awake. “How could you just pop in here, Acacius?” The man seemed a bit surprised by your crude lingo, but what caught his attention wasn’t that.
“You know me?” he asked in a genuine mix of surprise and doubt.
“Of course, any dumbass that heard about ancient Rome knows the great General Marcus Acacius Justus Sacratus.” You said as if it was obvious, still shocked by the absurd situation.
“Ancient Rome?” he asked cluelessly, raising one eyebrow.
“Yeah, I mean, you lived on 210 AD and we are now on 2024 AD.” At that point you were sounding more casual, still not believing such circumstances, but holding yourself to the idea that you simply didn’t remember falling asleep and were having the craziest dream. Acacius digested the information with a frown, seeming to simply accept your statement.
“And what did you call me?”
“Acacius Justus Sacratus. They gave you the Sacratus agnomen after the chaos people made in Rome when the emperors tried to erase you.” You were quite surprised as you saw the shadow of a smile forming on his lips “Whatever, this is all kinda unbelievable. You weren’t supposed to be here. Oh my god, how I’m gonna explain to the director that a whole ass statue simply disappeared under my watch? I’m so fucked up, it would be our biggest exposition this year. I’m gonna be fired.” You had a small outburst of despair when the whole scene finally got solid in your imagination, after all, saying that one of the most searched historical objects had simply converted into its human form wouldn’t convince anyone.
“I deeply apologize for any inconvenience I might be causing you; I will leave immediately if it could help you.” Acacius’ sincere tone hit straight on your nerves, making you unsure if you were mad or sentimental about it.
“Leave where? The Rome you knew has fallen long ago and everything has changed. The empire you used to know and serve is now no more than a bunch of ruins spread across the whole Italy. Let aside the fact that you wouldn’t adapt to this new world by yourself and no one would believe your story. In no time you’d turn into an indigent or end up locked in a mental hospital because everyone would be convinced that you’re schizophrenic or something similar. And don’t get me started with your festive dress.” You said referring to his armor with the golden head of Medusa on the chest and the pompous red cape around his shoulders. “I can’t let you go, Acacius.” You sighed frustrated, all of that becoming too much. Acacius was lowkey confused about a few things you said, but also your temper was starting to annoy him.
“Well, since you know everything, tell me the way back home.” He rolled his eyes halfway, bothered about how you were speaking as if he wasn’t in a difficult situation either or had chosen to be there.
“Don’t start with that, I’ve dedicated a great part of my life to studying yours. I know your sassy temper.” You rolled your eyes, for a second lowkey forgetting that his personality was your smaller problem. Acacius had an answer ready, but your declaration got him unprepared.
“You studied my life?” he questioned, raising one eyebrow.
“Of course I did. You turned into the military version of Julius Caesar in terms of popularity, one of the most mentioned names when the subject is ancient Rome.” You sighed heavily, looking away from him “And I never got over what they did to you.” Acacius wondered for a moment what you were referring to, but he imagined you meant the whole situation in the coliseum.
“I remember all that.” He started in a contemplative tone “I remember being there, the exhaustion, the despair of my dear Lucilla, the pain of the first arrows, then I woke up somewhere else and remained there until today.” He sighed and shook his head “Do you have any idea of what happened?”
“No. Despite all the theories about time traveling and supernatural events, there’s nothing concrete about it that could explain you coming back to life.” You passed one hand over your hair, taking a deep breath. “Well, since I’m already screwed up with all this, can you answer a few things I always wanted to know?”
“Go ahead, it is not as if I have anything else to do.” Acacius agreed while taking a couple of steps to approach you by your desk, looking curious at your notes written on those peculiarly connected letters.
“Are the theories that you were trained by Maximus himself true?” you looked at him expectantly, feeling like your life would finally make sense with that answer.
“Yes, I had the honor of having him as a mentor.” He confirmed while curiously nudging the mouse of your computer, looking abruptly back at you when you slapped the wooden surface.
“I fucking knew it.” You sounded like an excited child “The behavioral pattern in matters of war is so obvious and explains your ties with the royal family. I know I wasn’t crazy!” you got slightly self-conscious as you realized Acacius’ confusedly staring at you, surprised that such a simple thing seemed to be such a big deal to you. “Now you probably think I’m crazy.”
“Not much shocks me after Geta and Caracalla. You look very normal to me.” He affirmed casually, taking a genuine laugh at you with how he seemed so casual about everything.
“Speaking about our crazy boys, the urban legend that you laughed when they threatened you with a damnatio memoriae it’s true either?” Once again you saw yourself breathing slowly to not miss a thing of the answer.
“Sincerely, I am not proud of it, but yes.” He shrugged with a discreet grin “But how do you know such a thing?”
“Well, we believe that it started as a rumor among the Pretorians that spread like fire on the straw due to people’s compassion for your history.” You looked away as your phone screen turned on with some random notification, but what got your attention was Acacius’ suspicious gaze toward the object. “Don’t be amazed so quickly, there’s a lot of weirdest technologies nowadays.”
“Everything seems quite familiar to me.” He said while looking around the room.
“We’re in the middle of the Capitoline Museum, what did you expect?”
“Capitoline?” he ignored your sarcastic remark, more interested in the familiar name.
“Come with me.” Before he could agree, you already had grabbed him by the arm, pulling him to the hallway.
“But this is...”
“Yes, the imperial palace.” You finished his statement as the two of you walked through the hallway full of statues.
“But you said more than a millennium has passed since my time. This place did not change at all.” You sighed and rolled your eyes, stopping a few steps away from the staircase, pissed at yourself for assuming Acacius would magically guess what happened in the last 1814 years.
“This is a museum now; the idea is precisely to keep all of this the most intact possible. Look at that.” You pointed to The Dying Gaul behind Acacius “This is from around 60-40 BC, approximately 150 years older than you and still perfectly preserved, just like everything else here. That’s why your statue was brought here, to be studied, cataloged, and exposed to the public, while we made sure it was kept safe and intact.” Acacius attentively listened to your explanation, actually surprised that those things were from his time or even before since they looked very much like they used to in their time.
“Now it makes sense to me.” He took another look around the hallway and then back to you “What do you want to show me?”
“C’mon, general.” You passed your arm on his while going downstairs, laughing at his expression mixed with confusion and surprise. You got out of the building, getting to the courtyard and leading to the front door, you hesitated for a second before opening it. “Please don’t lose your mind.” You sighed quietly when he nodded and opened the door in front of you.
Acacius took a first hesitant step, at first not seeing anything so different, but then he paid more attention; the equestrian statue of Marcus Aurelius showing the signs of time with the marks on the bronze, if only he knew that wasn’t even the original one, the pavement also didn’t pass unnoticed by him, definitely that wasn’t there the last time he saw the place. Afraid with which other changes he could find, but unable to hold back himself, he walked closer to the edge of the square, taking a full view of the city, unable to identify what he was feeling while seeing a completely new city, despite still being able to see the Rome he used to know on those ruins. Acacius leaned against the plinth of one of the two enormous statues at the entrance of the Capitoline square, only then seeming to completely understand how much has happened in the world since his death.
“Are you alright?” you asked, approaching him, noticing his distress.
“Yes.” He answered while looking again at the city for a moment, then back at you “I just did not expect all this.”
“You’ll get used to it.” You said casually, not wanting to make the situation worse. “C’mon, we can’t stay here for too long, it’s almost 6 am, soon the team will be here to prepare the guided tour.” Acacius just followed you while still looking around, less shocked, but still not totally believing in what he was seeing.
“What is this?” he questioned as you opened that unknown metallic device.
“It's nowadays carriages.” You answered with one arm lying on the car door “Get in, general. I’ll take you home.”
“You are quite an odd lady.” He said unable to suppress a chuckle.
“I’m not the one wearing a dress and a crown of golden laurels.” You rolled your eyes with a quiet laugh as he got into the car the best someone from his time could. You closed the door and walked around, getting into the vehicle and looking at Acacius, smiling at his childish curiosity at the screen showing the GPS.
“Is this a map?” he asked while recognizing the image.
“Yes, and this little dot there moves simultaneously as we move.” You mentioned starting the car and moving on the street.
“Fascinating!” Acacius’ enthusiasm was obvious “This would have been so useful to navigations.”
“You would love to be a general nowadays.” You kept looking at the street in front of you but could see Acacius’ head turning to every side it could.
Your way back home at these hours used to be boring, but not when you had your favorite historical figure asking you tons of questions: “What happened to the coliseum walls? What are those red and green lights? How does the map dot know where we are going? How did those strange street torches extinguish themselves?” Most times you’d be annoyed with so many questions, but the way he sounded so fascinated and curious kind of warmed your heart, making your brain occasionally click; you’d never give any of your male coworkers a ride to the next street corner, yet you felt completely at ease near to an ancient roman general you only knew through the tons of history books you read over your life, truly feeling like some kind of good aura came from him.
And the same was true for him. Despite the little harsh moments you had earlier, he trusted completely his judgment about people, and you definitely were on the trustworthy side for him, after all, he understood you would be in trouble with whoever was your superior, yet you refused to let him at his luck.
Finally, at your house, Acacius’ fascinations with the modern world didn’t cease, some of them quite comprehensible, like his shock when your Alexa turned on all the lights on the house, and some others funnier like his interest in your thermal cup and how it was able to preserve temperature.
“Slow down, I still do not understand how people get inside this thing.” Acacius said in complete confusion while pointing to the TV in your bedroom.
“They don’t.” you laughed and sat next to him at the edge of your bed “What we see is that thing called video that I told you about.”
“Sincerely still confusing, but I think I understand.” He admitted while exploratory pressing the buttons on the remote, shocked with how many things existed inside that illuminated box “I know this.”  You turned to look at the same spot he was, realizing he was talking about some random movie with the Roman legions on the cover.
“Oh yeah, there’s quite a bunch of movies about y’all and your fancy battle clothes.” You mentioned while looking into the grocery store bag you just found next to your bed, not remembering when that got lost there.
“But how do they have video from that time?” you couldn’t hold a genuine laugh at his adorable confusion.
“It’s not from your time, Acacius. It’s all acting as they did in Roman theaters, but now instead of only doing it in real-time, they record it so we can watch it multiple times, at any time we want.”
“How many amazing things exist in this time?” he questioned with an amused frown.
“A lot to be fair.” You found a bag of chips among your lost groceries “Lemme show you modern food.” You said as you opened the package and held it to him, with no second thoughts Acacius took a potato from the bag, savoring it as if it was a fine delicacy.
“This is what you eat every day?” He was already grabbing another chip from the package.
“Not ideally, but sometimes it happens.” You chuckled and grabbed the remote “Let’s watch this. Nothing like a real Roman general to tell me how accurate it is.” You settled better and played the movie.
You were surely amazed at his observations about the movie, sometimes perplexed with something absurdly inaccurate or highly excited with the facts that matched the reality while gladly savoring the potato chips. The most entertained you were, it was almost 8 am on Saturday and you’ve been awake since 6 am on Friday, so you didn’t even realize you started to melt on the bed, until you ended up fully asleep in an awkward position. When he stopped to listen to your opinions about his comments, Acacius looked at you, smiling discreetly as he saw you knocked out with one arm hanging out of the bed. Careful to not wake you, Acacius placed your asleep body the rest more comfortably and laid down on the other side of the bed, turning his gaze at you after looking around the whole room, still processing how amazing those modern things were and how you could be such a pleasing company despite your occasional rude manners.
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"Acacius, I'm back." You said by the front door while taking off your coat. Not much later he showed up with a dishcloth in hand, taking a smile from you. "Hope you didn't make any mess in my kitchen." You joked despite knowing he hadn't.
"Can you trust me at least a bit?" He raised both eyebrows "I was just dealing with that plate cleaner thing." He said referring to your dishwasher, making you chuckle and shake your head. A week has passed and you were shocked by how good of a roommate Acacius was. He quickly understood how things worked nowadays to keep a house in order, accepting easily that no one would be around organizing the place and bringing him food as it used to be in his time, and he seemed to be quite fine with getting some tasks done, feeling useful and entertained while you were at work.
"I need to teach you how to use the vacuum cleaner." You chuckled and fell on the couch, pressing your temples and closing your eyes.
"Is everything alright?" Acacius moved to sit by your side, noticing your tension.
"They want to open the exposition next week." You said with a heavy breath "I don't know what I'm gonna do."
"Oh, my dear, I feel so sorry for causing you all this situation." He reached to touch your hand, looking at you with a guilty face.
"It's not your fault." You looked at him and smiled "And at the end, if I have to get stuck with any historical figure, I'm happy it's you." you hesitated for a moment, but surrendered to your desperate need for some comfort, tucking yourself between his arms and resting your head near the medusa figure of his armor he refused to take off. "Damn, you're probably the best man I ever met." It all got Acacius unprepared. You had exchanged some casual physical contact, especially because the two of you ended up falling asleep together every night while you showed him some new modern thing or asked him about how accurate the information you knew about his time was, he even occasionally woke up with your head resting on his arms a couple times, but nothing like that.
“I am really sorry to have met you in such complicated circumstances.” He started while wrapping his arms around you “But I have to agree with you about it, I wouldn’t choose another awkward sorceress to get stuck with.” He mentioned that in that casual sassy manner, making you look at him with a frown despite the silly smile on your face.
“I’m not a sorceress, it’s just technology. The awkward part, you might be right.” You shook your head while your fingers brushed against the medusa on his chest.
“It fits your beauty.” He said it with no flourishes, making your brain freeze for a moment, that was the last thing you expected to hear. Aware that your current situation couldn’t be worse, you stopped fighting against your rational thoughts and leaned forward, pressing your lips on his, not knowing what to expect from it, but being gladly surprised by the warm big hand rubbing your back as Acacius instinctively pulled you closer to him.
And everything became a blur. Nothing else mattered. For a moment you forgot that your job was at risk, that you had no idea why Acacius was there and for how long he’d stay, that was completely insane to fall in love with a man who could disappear in the blink of an eye just like he showed up, but you couldn’t do anything about it. Even before knowing him in person your affection towards him was a thing, since you never accepted how fate could’ve been so cruel to a good man, and after spending a whole week with him, feeling more at home and happy than ever, that feeling could only grow. To your luck, it wasn’t a one-sided thing. Acacius’ mind was a complete chaos on the first day, cursing the gods for having done such a thing with him, making him live once more with the vivid memory of his tragedy, but after spending some time with you, he started to consider it a gift from the gods; the chance of live again while having the company of such a peculiar figure like you, while having the unique experience of see by himself how the world evolved after Rome.
“I’m sorry.” Your whisper cut the line of thought of both of you as you leaned lightly backward “I shouldn’t have…” you were silenced by the thumb softly pressing your lips.
“Do not worry. I have finally known how the most spectacular thing from this time feels, I could not be more blessed by the gods.” You were incapable of thinking about an answer and he didn’t give you the time to do such a thing, pressing another kiss on your lips.
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“Please, Mr. Bianchi, I promise you this is the last extra time I ask you.” You begged with all your might, unable to decipher your boss’ expression.
“Dear, I know your amazing work and for me, you could have a whole year with that statue, but it doesn’t depend solely on my wish as you know very well.” The old man spoke while aligning the pile of papers on his desk.
“Another week is all I ask.” You tried your chances, twisting your keys between your fingers.
“Impossible. The best I can do for you is a couple of days.”
“I understand.” You nodded, trying to keep yourself together, and got up, leaving the room after a weak goodbye.
You crossed the building of the museum faster than you ever had, glad that the visits were already closed, so you didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing the tears of despair rolling down your face. As you got out at the Capitoline Square, you walked around a couple of times in complete confusion. What would you do when they searched for the statue and only found the empty plinth? How would you convince anyone that your new roommate and lover was the lost statue? You certainly would go to jail accused of robbing the historical piece. Your academic career would be dead and buried and Acacius would be completely alone. Damn, you couldn’t bear the idea of him not knowing why you didn’t come back home or worse, thinking you had abandoned him voluntarily. The only way your life could not end in a disaster was if Acacius became a statue again, but that you could never wish for. Not only because your feelings towards him were almost unhealthily growing with each passing day or because you couldn’t imagine sleeping without his warmth again, but also because he seemed to be so happy and living such a light life, the life he deserved of all the misfortune he experienced before.
Standing in the middle of the empty Capitoline square, you stared at the replica of the equestrian statue of Marcus Aurelius, feeling your rage on the verge of getting out of control.
“Your stupid bastard. Couldn’t you have kept your damn dream of Rome to yourself? Couldn’t you have changed the fucking Roman rules and let your damn daughter assume the empire so she would’ve never involved Acacius in all of this? Your dumb old man.” You angrily shouted at the bronze figure of Marcus Aurelius as if he could hear you and as if Geta and Caracalla’s cruelty towards Acacius was his fault either.
Not wanting to bear your thoughts any longer, you ran to your car and drove like crazy back home, aware that you would probably receive some notes from the transit department, and not caring about anything else but hiding yourself in Acacius’ arms and pretending nothing of that was true and that you were just a simple roman peasant that got lucky enough to catch the attention of the empire’s greatest general.
“Acacius?” you called passing by the front door, your heartbeat getting wilder when he didn’t show up like every day until then “Acacius?” you called louder while starting to look around the house. You heard some noises from your backyard and headed there, sighing relieved as you saw your general there, safe and sound. Then your attention moved to the whole scene and you finally understood Acacius’ unending questions about modern table setting and the specific things he asked from the grocery after going into your grandma’s recipe book. “What is all of this?” you asked with a wide smile, observing the picnic towel in the middle of your patio filled with most of the recipes of your grandma that you told Acacius were your favorites.
“You have been so good to me and you’re one of the best hosts I ever met. I thought it would be the minimum to try to reciprocate it.” He explained while stopping in front of you, placing his golden laurels on your head with a playful smile then held out one hand to you. You were anesthetized while holding his hand, your mind going blank of all worries and concerns. How could he become better at any passing second? You would never know.
Your heart felt light as a feather on the wind while you two shared that meal under the starry sky and your body was almost in a trance, making you unable to do better than nod with a silly smile at every word that fell from Acacius’ lips, fully convinced that if the afterlife paradise existed, it must be like that: sit on the grass and be fed on the mouth by a gold-hearted man while using his laurels crown.
“You look distracted.” Acacius observed while fiddling with a lock of your hair.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that all of this seems better than any good dream I ever had.” You moved to sit sideways on his lap; after two complete weeks and five days of living together, that already had become a casual move between the two of you.
“I am glad you enjoyed it.” He smiled warmly, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your forehead “And be warned that I intend to do it again.”
“You won’t hear a single complaint from me, general.” You chuckled and passed your hand through his graying hair, laying forward to rest your face against the curve of his neck.
“I am not sure if your personality would allow you such a thing, but I will have faith in you.” Acacius pressed a soft kiss on your temple and remained like that, enjoying the warm feel of you all nestled on his lap, not knowing when was the last time he felt so at peace, not even the annoying cold on his arm being able to disturb him at that moment.
 Having spent most of his life in the Roman wars, the feeling of being at home wasn’t a familiar sensation to him, but Acacius knew very well that being tangled at you in the middle of your patio with your breath tickling his neck was certainly his new definition of home, even in that strange period with its mechanisms that looked very much like some kind of wizard work and the memories of his first life haunting him, he still was unbothered by any of it.
“Are you tired?” he asked softly as your eyelids fell closed, caressing your face.
“No, I’m just too comfortable here.” You shifted slightly to look at him, smiling when he aligned the laurels on your head.
“Very well then, this was the goal.” He playfully pinched your cheek, making you chuckle and shrug.
“Damn, your hand is freezing.” You straightened yourself on his lap, rubbing his biceps to confirm that he was cold. “You’ll need a long-sleeved tunic to survive the winter.” You laughed and gave him a soft peck on the lips before leaning a bit backward, frowning as you felt a weird nudge on your back. You turned to look at what it was and immediately wished you had never done it, feeling the tears promptly forming in your eyes as you tried to deny the horrible truth, refusing to believe that Acacius’ whole right forearm was turning back into bronze. His gaze followed yours and he could only sigh exasperated when he saw it; despite imagining that the gods may not let him stay forever, he hoped it’d happen later. “No!” you shook your head in complete denial “This can’t be true.” You hugged him tight, hoping that was just a nightmare, but at the same time, you could feel his warmth fading away and his skin becoming as cold as the metal of his armor.
“Darling,” he cupped your face with his left hand, unable to move the other one “we both knew this might happen. Do not cry, everything will be alright, you will not have any trouble explaining my disappearance now.” It broke your heart how calmly he told you that, reminding you that he was the same man who surrendered in the coliseum to spare his stepson’s life, of course, he would only be happy and relieved that you would have a statue to present to your superior.
“It isn’t worth anything to me if I have to come back to my empty house every day. How am I supposed to go back to my old life now, Acacius? Who’ll make me explain to them that the singers aren’t trapped inside the radio?” you were already sobbing, holding onto his red cape for dear life.
“Ease yourself, dear. You are a very clever lady; I am sure you will be alright without me.” Acacius smiled tenderly, his eyes watery.
“I’ll not. This is not fair. I’ve dreamt my whole life about meeting you, and now that I did, you’ll leave me.” You clung to him like a scared child, feeling heartbroken with the idea of him coming back to be just a pile of bronze.
“Little dove, we both know this is not my place, no matter how much I loved every second spent with you. Furthermore, you’ll be close to me every day at the museum. It will be okay.” His voice was calm despite the crying tone. You still were in complete denial, but the rest of his arm also turning back into bronze was harshly bringing you back to reality.
“We should take you back to the museum, then.” That was the last thing you wanted to do, but there was no other choice.
The ride to the museum was dead silent, just like many authors said it happened at the coliseum the day Geta ordered Acacius’ assassination, and then you understood why the sepulchral silence was always mentioned in every work about the event, it was indeed a horrible thing to experience.
The way into the Capitoline Museum wasn’t the easiest, Acacius’ mobility was getting reduced and you could only curse Michelangelo for having put those huge ass stairs when he designed the place in the 16th century. Finally, at the Gallery floor of the Palazzo Nuovo, you entered the room you were designated to work in when Acacius’ statue arrived, feeling even more heartbroken when an invisible force seemed to put him back on top of the marble plinth and position his body exactly as it was the first time you saw it, the process of turn back to bronze seemed to be faster.
“Do you think we’ll ever see each other again?” you asked, sitting by the floor, desolated resting against the cold marble.
“Maybe not in this life, but I am sure we will meet again someday.” Acacius answered in a weak voice, just the upper part of his torso still in its human form.
“This is too much time.” You whined completely miserable, feeling like you didn’t have any more tears left.
“I am sure my clever lady will find a way to spend this time.” That warm affectionate smile was the last thing you saw before the rest of him turned back into bronze and his face recovered that serious imposing expression that made you so happy when the statue was found, and now would forever haunt your nightmares.
You grabbed the laurels crown that still was in your head holding it tight against your chest, wanting to protect the only tangible memory of him you had, but of course, fate wouldn’t be so generous, taking your last hope away when the golden crown unmade itself, just to show up again at the head of the statue that just a half hour ago was your companion, then you couldn’t hold it back anymore, screaming and crying while holding into the cold metal legs of the sculpture, feeling your stomach twist and your heart ache, sobbing until your whole head was hurting and you had no more forces to stand on your feet.
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You had no idea of how you made your way back home that night when you woke up on your couch, you didn’t dare to lay on your bed, fearing that Acacius’ scent might no be gone from your bedsheets and already certain you would never have the courage of wash them. You spend the whole day walking around the house like a zombie, also not daring to look at your backyard, aware that you didn’t have the strength to revive that final happy memory with him. You ignored the 20 lost calls of your boss, only calling him back by the end of the day to ask for a few days off, claiming that you were sick and your voice hoarse from your uninterrupted cry made the excuse very convincing.
A couple of days later you heard that the opening exhibition of Acacius’ statue was a success, and that would be all your contact with it. You wouldn’t dream of showing up there, you didn’t even know if you’d be able to ever enter the museum again, especially when you found out that after the first week, it would probably go to the same room as The Dying Gaul, so every day when you got up the staircase you would face it, wanting you or not.
That whole next week passed like a confused mess in your memory, you never knew when was the last time you had slept, eaten, or taken a shower. All you knew was your computer screen and the pile of papers and snack packages forming around it, wasn’t an unusual scenario, since a lot of your work required research, however, the difference this time was the content. You always valued facts with reliable bibliographical sources, yet there you were, reading articles written by people that in any other scenario, you would completely despise the work and refuse to read, but in desperate times, desperate measures are called for. You started with serious stuff such as Einstein's theory of gravity, but it didn’t lead you to any positive answer about time traveling or anything that could bring Acacius back, so you started to dive into dubious corners of the internet and searched all the roman mythology book you had to see if there was any legend that could give you any clue of what to do, but of course all that lead to nothing, you would even had searched about it on the dark web if that tutorial you followed had worked.
After days of non-stop research and at the edge of burnout, your logical thought finally seemed to be back, making you come to your senses for a second and realize that all that was bullshit. What happened to you and Acacius was probably an isolated situation that never could be replicated. Overthinking everything and having a manic episode, you saw yourself finally having the strength to deep clean the nasty place your house had become while talking to yourself about how ridiculous that was.
The only thing that you didn’t foresee was that brand new wave of sadness when you saw yourself standing in the middle of your perfectly clean and silent house, hoping that at any moment you would see Acacius showing up with a random electronic device asking you how it worked.
But he wouldn’t do it, never again.
The unique nature of your relationship that a few hours earlier served as a consolation, turned into your new nightmare. It had been an exceptional occasion, supposing that the gods existed, they probably just had accidentally messed up with some timeline and put you and Acacius together. Of course, it had to be an accident, there was no way your relationship would be manageable, at least not in 2024, if you were the one mistakenly showing up in ancient Rome, maybe it could work, but it wasn’t like that.
You entered another spiral of insanity, repeating to yourself that there was no chance of it ever happening again while you sobbed curled up on the side of the bed Acacius used to sleep, confirming that his scent indeed was still there. As you planned originally, you didn’t wash the bedsheets or the washcloth he last touched, just like the dress you were wearing the night he turned into bronze again, preserving every crumb of his smell you could, and also going into some more serious business, taking a tone of pregnancy tests as you realized your period was late and praying to every force above for a positive result, hoping to have a part of Acacius with you, and feeling like the world was ending when after all the negatives, your period showed up.
Despite feeling like your life was over, after two weeks, you had to go back to the museum, looking away or closing your eyes every damn time you had to pass in front of the Sala del Gladiatore where now Acacius’ statue was, facing the Dying Gaul sculpture and the door, making it harder to ignore, especially if added the fact that the Gaul was your favorite statue of the museum, certainly a cruel joke of the destiny.
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On that random ordinary afternoon, you were unworriedly turning off the hallway lights, after so much time working there, you managed to walk among the statues in the dim light without being terrified. You were ready to go downstairs, but saw that someone did you the favor of forgetting to turn off the light in that room you avoided for so long, for a moment you considered just letting it be, but you knew that was a risky move that could even start a fire, so you built the courage to walk in, planning to quickly turn off the light and leave, but you failed even before trying, passing through the switch near the door with no second thoughts.
You smiled as you stopped in front of the Dying Gaul, only then realizing you had missed him too; you used to pass there almost every day to look at him, but since they brought the general’s statue to the room two months before, you never entered there again. For a moment you wondered if it was just your confused mind or if the Gaul and Acacius looked a lot like each other.
After building the courage, you turned around to face Acacius, feeling that familiar sting in your heart. Indulging your search for some comfort, you sit by the floor, resting your back against the wall, just staying there for a moment.
“I have to admit you were right. I found a way to spend time. I adopted a dog, you know, a Pitbull mix, the cutest little guy. I named him Justino if you catch my drift.” You chuckled and looked at the other statues in the room. “Y’all stop judging me, I had to share with someone.” You looked up at Acacius, smiling widely as you briefly recalled the night when he became human. “I miss you, general, and sometimes I rewatch that horrible movie about the Roman army you found amazing. I hope you know I haven’t stopped thinking about you, I just needed time to put myself together. I’ll probably never stop thinking about our time together, and probably will show up here every day from now on.” You sighed and got up, looking at him with a sad smile “I cursed your gods a lot, but now I can only thank them for having messed up with whatever cable that controls the timelines of the world.” You reached one arm up, managing to touch one of his hands, relaxing with the familiar form, even with the warmth absent. “You’ll always hold a place in my heart.” You closed your eyes and allowed your head to fall forward, resting your forehead against the bronze surface. “Ubi tu gaius, ego gaia.” You mumbled quietly, taking a moment there before building the courage to walk away, turning off the light, and getting downstairs, wondering if would be a good idea to try to convince Mr. Bianchi to allow pets at the museum, at least for one day, so you could take Justino to meet Acacius and finally see the man you told him so much about and named him after.
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unfriendlies · 2 days ago
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it'd been so long since garam has actually felt something while kissing somebody. with axel, it always just felt like a task done for the other's pleasure and not his own. as much effort that he put into making sure his emotions showed with each kiss, garam just didn't feel anything from his ex partner. garam put more of an effort into appeasing him than the other did for him, as if he didn't care if their connection felt cold and emotionless. why it didn't occur to him sooner that he was being used by his ex baffled him. even in his drunken state, garam could see how foolish he was for accepting what he was given instead of expecting what he deserved. kissing angel felt different in the best way. he felt it with his entire body, he felt like he was kissing somebody whom truly loved him. it both soothed his heartache and made his heart ache even more. the guilt he felt for everything that had happened, for essentially making angel wait as long as he had. it was almost overbearing but garam did his best not to let it affect him, at least not right now. once their lips parted, garam glanced down between their bodies as if he were going to check on himself but he didn't need to actually see it to know he was aroused. at least he wasn't fully erect, that would have been more embarrassing. as flirty and welcoming he became while drinking, he always had trouble maintaining a hardon with alcohol actively coursing through his system. so to realize he was more turned on than he initially thought came to a very large surprise to him. he pushed his hips back so the lower half of his body wouldn't touch angel, not wanting the other man to realize the effect he had on garam's body. it wasn't because he didn't want angel to see it, at least not out of shame or embarrassment, it was because garam was afraid of triggering angel further. he shifted slightly, bending his leg up at his knee and twisting his hips so he could hide himself a bit more. even though the blanket provided him great coverage, he regretted taking off his jeans as they would have made it easy to conceal himself. he sighed softly when he was content with the protection he made for himself, the corners of his lips tugging up just slightly as he looked back up to angel. "i know what amor means," he spoke softly as his eyes starting to close as they felt tired, heavier. garam struggled against the feeling, not wanting to fall asleep so he could enjoy the moment a bit longer. "you love me," he paused for a moment, lifting his arm up underneath the blanket so he could drape it over angel's abdomen. "i love you, too." his voice was quieter now. "i'm gonna take such good care of you, i'll be the best boyfriend you'll ever have." garam went quiet, letting himself settle in his place in angel's arms. he did his best to clear his mind to let his body calm down but he was so impatient and each second that passed felt like minutes. his brows furrowed but only slightly as his fingers clenched around the material of angel's shirt, pressing his thighs together tightly. "i'm going to make you pay for this," he mumbled, words that were meant to stay in his head that garam hadn't fully realized were actually spoken. all he could do was lay there and hope he relaxed before angel realized there was something going on. last thing he wanted was to feel embarrassed because he got too excited.
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Angel couldn't tell what the man was thinking. His eyes seemed to shift as Garam pressed his thumb into his bottom lip. Angel felt a calmness come over him. Something he hadn't felt in a while. The way his best friend was looking at him it quickened his heartbeat. Garam was always beautiful to him. But to see him lying in his bed caressing his face was driving Angel wild. He lowered himself further to brush their noses together. The thing was he was furthest from angry. His stomach had butterflies. This moment with Garam was everything. Angel’s eyes slipped closed as the man’s fingers moved over his face. Letting out a long breath they opened once more. Not being much for words Garam filled the space. Kissing him and demanding he be kissed until Angel wasn't angry. He thought about telling his best friend the truth. But he was tired of always doing the right thing. Where had it gotten him? Years of heartache and longing. Before he could fulfill the request Garan surprised him by kissing him. A smirk spread as he leaned down kissing Garam full on this time. Not ready to go further didn't mean he didn't want to. Angel cared for Garam deeply on many levels. But he was still human and often pictured the other man moaning his name. Praying to hear what it would sound like. A hum escaped into their kiss as he fought his mind and body. It had been a while since he probably kissed someone. Pressing their tongue against Garam’s lips begging for entrance. He now shifted to fully lay beside Garam. His arms scooped under the other man and hugged him close. A piece of Angel wanted to be cautious. Pushing himself too far would end in a disaster. But pushing Garam too far would haunt him. At the end of the day, Garam was still drunk. Angel typically never touched anyone under the influence. However, Garam was bring too enticing to turn down. His mouth moved slowly wanting to savor every taste he was granted. One hand pressed firmly into his back while the other was locked around his waist. Garam smelled as good as he looked, mixed with beer and tacos. Angel did his best not to laugh. This was not how he saw their first kiss going. The first kiss was to show his best friend that he had nothing to worry about. Hoping it would shock the man enough to go to sleep. But him practically begging for more was exactly what Angel liked. He loved being desired. Something that her man would learn when they were both ready. After a bit, he broke their kiss slowly. Angel licked his lips to break the trail of saliva connecting their lips. “Mi amor, es hora de ir a la cama,” Angel whispered as he pecked Garam’s lips once more. The words were meant to be in English but he was in a haze starting to feel the exhaustion. He began to rub the man's back hoping to coach him to sleep.
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ghostgirl-22 · 14 hours ago
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art accidentally calling patrick daddy while they jerk off together… !!!!!!!!!!
Oh anon he’s a mess <3
CW: 18+ !NSFW! Daddy!kink obvs don’t read it if that freaks you out
—-
They get home late from a frat party on a random Saturday night. Tashi’s cousin is in town so Patrick’s sleeping over in Art’s dorm room. Art is much drunker than he is. Patrick had to guide him back to his room. Use the keys and unlock his door. His roommate is surprisingly still not home when they get there which is probably good. Art’s a flirty drunk, all flushed and giggly. It’s actually adorable, except Patrick is so attracted to him it always makes him feel a little crazy.
He’s playful as Patrick convinces him to change into something he would feel comfortable sleeping in. “You just wanna see me naked,” Art hiccups grinning when Patrick suggests that jeans aren’t the most comfortable sleeping attire. He manages to stumble out of his jeans and he’s just wearing boxers and the t-shirt he had on under the hoodie he wore out. Then he falls into his extras long single bed and settles on his side, hugging his pillow and pulling his knees up so his ass is protruding into the bit of space left for Patrick. Patrick watches him for a minute, adjusting himself for the way his cock is stiffening.
It’s a miracle Patrick finds a way to fit without spooning him. He lays on his back, half his body balancing in midair.
He’s still awake, drunk and now horny, Art’s bottom pressed against him. He starts flipping channels and when it lands on some random episode of Nip/Tuck he slips his hands inside his boxers and starts touching himself through one of the made for cable sex scenes.
“Mm, Patrick,” Art’s sleepy voice sounds and he wiggles, Patrick pauses for a millisecond, he thought Art had fallen asleep by now.
“Hm?” Patrick replies. Just in case he’s talking in his sleep. It’s not his usual thing, but it’s not unheard of.
Art rolls over on the small bed to look at the television. “Whatcha doing?” He hiccups.
“Mm, nothing. I’m in my head. Tashi was wearing those tight jeans all night so I’m a little, backed up.” Patrick lies, he actually hooked up with Tashi at the party, peeled those tight jeans off of her. This is all because of Art. And it’s been forever since he did this in front of Art, let alone in the same bed but it’s Art’s fault actually. His ass really doesn’t have to be so perky and firm.
”Mm, yeah, she’s so hot,” Art sighs. And before Patrick realizes what’s happening it’s like they’re in high school again, and Art’s got his hand on his own dick, touching himself too.
Patrick sighs, his mind now focusing less on the cable sex scene and more on the little soft noises Art’s making. It’s right in Patrick’s ear, the way he’s positioned on his side. Patrick thinks more than once about grabbing him, helping him. “You ever think about that night in the hotel with Tashi.” Patrick whispers, he used to talk Art through it and figures he might as well do it again since they’re practically on top of each other.
“Yeah,” Art moans.
”I think about… about…kissing you.”
Art lets out a soft sigh. “Yeah?”
”Mmhm. Sometimes it makes my dick hard.”
“Like now?” he’s so close to Patrick. The way he’s breathing, the feel of it light on Patrick’s shoulder, in his ear, the way he sounds. Patrick knows he’s not much longer for the world. And that’s when it happens.
“Yeah,” Patrick says. “Just like now, you’re making me fucking hard, baby. You getting drunk and falling all over me, flirting all night. Makes me feel like you want me.”
”Mm you like it, daddy? I think I’m gonna come,” Art whines, his voice is all syrupy and sweet like honey.
And Patrick just falls apart.
”Oh…oh fuck,” he gasps, his body stilting and suddenly he’s jerking haphazardly as strings of liquid shoot out of his dick onto the bed and everywhere. For a minute he thinks he’s gonna hit the television a few feet away for the force of it.
It’s nothing. Should mean nothing but that word, the way Art sounded when he said it. The way he’s squirming in bed. Patrick wants to… he needs to fuck him into the mattress.
“Holy shit, you made a mess,” Art’s giggling. He probably doesn’t even fucking realize he said it.
Patrick is breathless, he reaches for Art, gripping at his cock, his hands wet with his own spend and he starts helping him. Art doesn’t protest, probably too drunk. He just moans and let’s Patrick pump him.
“Did you just call me daddy?” Patrick asks. Just the taste of the word on his tongue is about to coax another round of it out of his dick.
“Hm?” Art hiccups.
“Just now, you fucking called me daddy.”
“I don’t know. Mm sorry, I think I’m drunk.” Art moans.
“Fuck,” Patrick breathes. “You wanna say it again?”
Art hums, moving his hips forward and back as his cock slides slippery between Patrick’s fists. “Say… say daddy?” He asks softly.
“Yes,” Patrick says, it’s actually so delicious in Art’s voice. “Say it again.”
“Daddy I wanna… I wanna… mm daddy please…need to cum please,” Art begins moaning nonsensically.
And Oh Fuck.
Patrick’s gonna lose his mind. He feels his dick again already coming to attention. Like he’s fucking sixteen jerking it every two minutes. “Tell daddy how it feels, baby.” Patrick whispers, “Oh god. Daddy wants to fuck you. Daddy wants to fuck you all fucking night.”
“Mmhm, you can fuck me daddy, fuck me, fuck me please, daddy,” Art says. He begins to lose it then. He’s moaning so loudly Patrick is sure they hear him in the hallway and soon Patrick’s thighs and boxers are getting wet with hot creamy liquid.
“Fuck,” Art groans as he pulls his shorts back up and rolls onto his back, giggling.
“Yeah,” Patrick sighs, crawling on top of him, and pressing himself between Art’s thighs.
“Holy shit,” Art says, recovering pretty quickly from the giggles when he feels it. He reaches up to play with Patrick’s hair. “You’re hard again?”
“Mmhm,” Patrick hums. “Do you realize how fucking hot that is? You saying that. Fuck sweetheart.”
Art pulls him closer and kisses his mouth and Patrick rubs himself along the thin bit of fabric of their shorts, the only thing that’s keeping him out.
“Daddy it feels so… big,” Art sighs against his lips.
“Art I swear Im going to lose my fucking mind,” Patrick breathes and Art smiles.
“Sorry, it’s so…fun.”
And of course that’s when they hear the twist of the lock, it’s his fucking roommate.
“Fuucckk,” Patrick groans as Art sits up, hiccuping.
”Honey I’m home,” the roommate says drunkenly. “Oh forgot you’d be here.” He adds when he sees Patrick in the glow of the tv. Patrick doesn’t really like him. In part because he’s almost certain he has a crush on Art.
“I’m gonna pee,” Art says, climbing out of the bed.
“Yeah sure,” Patrick pouts, rubbing himself idly beneath the blankets, still all messy.
Art smiles and gets closer so he can talk quietly in Patrick’s ear. “Don’t worry, daddy, we can try it when he goes to sleep. I think I can be really quiet.” He whispers, hot breath ghosting over Patrick’s ear lobe, words making him shiver.
Patrick chews his bottom lip, gripping at the sheets. He’s so fucking ready he hopes he can wait til this guy falls asleep. “Mmkay. Fine. Yeah. Lets try.”
(Idk lol. Hope you like it anon <3 I’m out here looking up random “sexy” shows from 2006 I hope y’all appreciate my detailed and thorough research. Probably gonna find a way to watch nip/tuck now✌🏿)
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eliza-and-her-monsters · 3 days ago
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the tortured poets department
Bonus Chapter
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Info Post
Moodboards
Part I
Prev Part <> Next Part
Contains/TWs: a flashback essentially of reader and ellie whenever they were at the psychiatric hospital/wellness retreat together, the sweetest most gentle and soft ellie of all time. HELLLLAAAAA angst like next level angst. discussions of mental illness, hospitals/psychiatric facilities, and mentions of s**cide, sh/scars from sh. (this is not meant to romanticize psychiatric hospitals/care, mental illness s**cide or sh in any way. if you or someone you know is struggling please reach out. you are loved 💛)
WC: 2.5k
A/N: merry christmas eeeeve!! oh my ellie girls- did i ever cook for you 💛
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Bonus
gold rush
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I think the first time we actually talked was during one of the first nightmares. I hadn’t grown used to the big unbreakable windows or the heavy hospital beds and the idea of having a roommate who saw every one of my little quirks made it even worse. In fact I was even convinced she hated me after a while. She had tried so many times to be friends and I had blown her off every time. Why wouldn’t she?
It was in the middle of the night, one of the few nights I had actually gotten myself to fall asleep in which was promptly ruined. I don’t even know what had alerted her at first, she was such a light sleeper it could’ve been something as small as the change in my breathing. At any rate though before I could fall too deep into the hole I felt the grip of someone’s hand on my upper arm giving me a firm shake awake.
My vision was already so blurry because of the lack of glasses and the tears didn’t help. My breathing came out sharp and fast as I lifted my hands to roughly wipe at them. “No, hey, stop, don’t do that.” Ellie spoke as she passed off my glasses where I promptly slid them onto my eyes with shaking hands. And whenever I couldn’t find anything to wipe the tears away with she chose her sleeve, yanking it down far past her hand and pressing the fabric underneath my eyes until they coated it.
Normally, I would’ve pulled away. I would’ve scrambled and begged her not to. But the fact that for once someone besides my sister wasn’t looking at me like there was something wrong with me… I guess you could’ve called it an early stage trauma bond. Because all it did was pull me towards her. My hand was flying to hers before I know it, wrapping around her wrist as if to hold it into place.
I let out a tiny gasp in embarrassment, shaking my head to unravel my fingers as I stammered out an anxious apology. “I’m- I’m sorry-”
“It’s okay.” She spoke, the corners of her lips upturning in a weak smile as she inched herself closer. “The first week is usually the hardest. And you get pretty touch starved at some point so… you’re okay. I-I probably need it just as much as you do.”
I sniffled as I nodded, still trying to regulate my breathing as I pushed myself up to a sitting position, still desperately clutching at her arm with a trembling hand like she was the only thing I had left to hold on to. “How did you make it to England?” I whispered, subconsciously scooting aside so she could take a seat on the bed next to me, her shoulder just slightly brushing mine.
“Turns out whenever the US Army really fucks you up, they’re willing to shell out a shit ton of money to send you to the best mental health facilities in other countries to hopefully fix it.”
“Geez…” I muttered underneath my breath as I hugged my knees to my chest. “So you’re like, proper scarred then?”
I wasn’t expecting the massive laugh to burst from her lungs next, almost needing to slap a hand over her in order to not alert any of the nurses probably more than we already had. “You could say that.” She answered, resting her back against the wall before giving my arm the smallest of nudges. “What about you? What are you in for?”
“My parents… really just don’t know how to accept the fact that I’m… different. So they’ve stuck me in here hoping to find some kind of ‘cure’ I guess.” I shrugged, arms hugged around my knees. “Turns out just being extremely neurodivergent isn’t enough to fit the criteria of being put in a long term residential psychiatric care facility though so-”
“Oh yeah? Tried to check out too early too, huh?”
“Wow, it’s like you know me already.” I added with another tearful chuckle, Ellie already pulling at her sleeve to catch the strays before they could roll down my cheeks.
“I do know you.” She added, her tone shifting in a slightly more serious though still gentle tone. “I am you.”
For some reason the words brought forth another shuddering sob. A level of understanding I hadn’t seen in anyone else before, not even my sister. “C’mere.” I heard her whisper, pulling away her already halfway up short hair as she extended her arms out to me like we had known each other for years. The sound of my sob was muffled by her hoodie as she pulled me in, my face hidden in her chest as I let the broken cries finally escape.
It sounded so stupid, but I had tried my hardest not to cry while I was here. I thought if I acted like it enough maybe, finally, magically I’d become stable enough to not have to be here and it could even translate to my life outside. Turns out it didn’t work that way. Ellie brought out a new side of that though, she made me feel like it was okay to cry. And she’d be there every single time. Brushing away my tears or letting me hide my face in her shoulder or her chest until I didn’t have any left to cry.
“From now on… you’ve got me and I’ve got you, deal? So no more trying to check out too early, okay?” I wiped at my eyes with a gross sniffle, and whenever I pried myself from her hoodie I could see her staring at me with an expectant gaze and a lifted pinky finger. It was hard to say no to with that dorky little smile on her face. It was hard to say no to also whenever I knew she had been through so so much worse.
I nodded, weakly, but hoping it was enough enthusiasm for her as I wrapped my pinky around hers and feeling her give them the tiniest squeeze. “Perfect, now I’m never gonna leave you alone, squirt.”
The nickname brought out a tearful laugh from me, and I realized I couldn’t exactly remember the last time I had ever truthfully laughed as she tossed her arms back around me and decorated the top of my head in a dozen kisses. Whenever the nurse came at the usual 5 am to check vitals I distinctly remembered being curled up to her chest like she was my own personal pillow, dozed off to the sound of her breathing.
I knew it was an intense friendship, I knew it could’ve signified more. And honestly maybe that’s what I was afraid of. Growing so close to somebody only to have it brutally taken away from you by nothing more than the complication of love.
~
The wellness retreat we were at prided itself on trying to be just that, a retreat. They put a big emphasis on the great outdoors, courtyards and swimming pools and gardens, including a significant amount of grounds for us to go on walking trails. Ellie, I think, was determined to explore every inch of them before she got out and judging by both of our appointments we’d have the time too. So it was no surprise we frequently found ourselves on one, conjoined hands swinging back and forth like careless middle schoolers wanting to show off their very first relationship until Ellie’s long legs and curiosity got the better of her and she ended up trotting forward. She was after all exceedingly more fit than me.
“So, I don’t mean to pry or anything.” She spoke up after a moment of silence masked by our lazy footsteps.
“That’s never stopped you before.” I giggled before breaking out into a skip to catch up with her.
“Ha ha… very funny.” She snickered with a roll of her eyes. “So, I think I already know the answer to this but- it’s pride month, so humor me? Your sister’s an absolute fruit basket, right?”
I burst into laughter at her words before shrugging in response. “I mean, that’s certainly one way to put it.”
“So… what’s the likelihood your parents ended up with two gay daughters?” She wondered as she held up the number on her fingers.
A tiny smile stretched on my lips at the question, no sign of offense in sight from my end as I slipped my hand around the crook of her elbow. “I’d say… pretty likely.”
“Wicked.” She grinned a bit to herself as she rose her arm ever so slightly as if she was a gentleman escorting me to a fancy event. I chuckled once more at her old school slang, catching my bottom lip in between my teeth as if to avoid smiling even harder.
I released a sigh of relief the moment we approached a clearing enveloped perfectly with its high trees. “Can we stop for a second? I’m totally roasting out here.” I huffed as I trudged forward to find a comfortable seat and slip the psych issued backpack off of my back.
“It’s because you’re always wearing those flannels and long sleeves… even outside. No wonder you’re burning up.” Her voice noticeably got softer as she stepped up behind me with a soft hand on my back. “Why do you do that, by the way?” She questioned, gently slipping her hands up my covered arms to the elbows nearly making me tremble.
“You- You know why.” I mumbled, feeling our bodies naturally inch closer until I pressed my hands to her chest.
“No I know why I guess I just… don’t really know why you wear them here, you know? And around me? I-I mean we all have scars.” She wondered, her careful hands sliding around my back. Somehow despite all of our previous touches and general antics and even falling asleep in the same bed it felt as if this was the most intimate we had ever gotten. Stood like two high schoolers at a dance who had no idea what they were doing, yet everything at the same time.
“I guess I just- I never wanted to bother anybody else. Especially you. They’re- They’re not pretty, and they hurt and- I don’t know.”
Ellie let one of her hands encircle around my forearm against her chest where one of my hands held onto her shoulder. On instinct I tensed up, expecting the worst, expecting the judgemental eyes of doctors and the saddened ones of nurses. “I think scars are a sign of strength- of bravery.” She spoke, gently turning my wrist until the scars were pointed upwards where she gradually rolled my sleeve.
“Your’s are maybe. Mine aren’t brave. H-Hurting yourself isn’t brave.”
Ellie’s brushed a tender thumb along the raised skin, the healed markers of stitches. Normally the touches would’ve caused the slightest sting or even a throb. Healed enough to have faded ever so slightly but not enough to have stopped the pain entirely. Ellie’s touch was so gentle though, so careful and delicate. “Surviving through it is though.” My eyebrows knitted together as a waterfall of tears burned behind my eyes.
“That doesn’t mean do it again-“ she ordered as she held up a stern finger with her free hand. “But… just don’t be ashamed either, you know?” Ellie caught a stray tear with her thumb just before carefully lifting my scarred arm until she could brush her lips against it. Placing delicate featherlike kisses against every little wound.
“Thank you.” I sniffled, a soft sob catching in the back of my throat just as I felt her pulling me in, my face muffled in the crook of her shoulder as she wrapped a strong arm around me. “I think you might just be the sun.”
“Darling…” I could feel her shaking her head from just above me as she still held my wrist with such care. “I’m far from the sun. I’m just a girl who… who really really cares about another girl.”
It almost felt like a declaration of some sort, my eyes flickering upwards to meet her softened green eyes, her star-like freckles that I could trace like constellations, down to her curved lips. Maybe I was hallucinating and delusional, looking back on it I probably was. A one-sided magnetic pull towards her perfectly pink lips. So why did she seem to get closer too? Why did she wrap her arms around my waist to pull me in? Why did she let my hand caress her face in the way it did? Why why why why?
At the last second I felt her lips shifting, pressing softly to my cheek instead of my own and I could nearly feel my heart shatter right then and there. “Baby, I can’t do this to you.” She whispered with a shake of her head, the step backwards only sending me reeling as I fought the urge to dive after her.
“But I- I thought-“
“I know- I know but- fuck, please don’t cry, Millie, I’m sorry.” Ellie didn’t cry often, so whenever she did it was a big deal. But in that moment I could see the tears welling up in her own eyes as she drew back to me so quickly I nearly lost balance. “I can’t- I-I can’t give you your first kiss in here. We- We can’t do this, Millie. I love you s-so fucking endlessly but I- y-you deserve to have your first kiss be from somebody special and somewhere romantic and… not with me.” She sighed a bit to herself, clenching her hands at her sides as if it killed her to say any of this.
“I just can’t give you what you need i-in that sense right now and I- I hate myself for it and I feel like I’ve screwed up the most important and precious thing in my life because of it but… I can’t lie to you. I just can’t.” A weak sob fell from her lips as she let her hands fly to her eyes as if it’d somehow hide all the evidence.
If she were a selfish woman she would’ve gone through with it. She would’ve pushed her lips to mine and held on for dear life and maybe it would’ve gone farther. But she wasn’t selfish. In fact she was probably the most overwhelmingly selfless person I had ever met.
“Ellie, love.” I gulped back my own tears as I stepped forward to take her body into my own arms, lifting up onto my tiptoes so she could nuzzle her face into my own shoulder. “I’m not mad at you. You didn’t screw anything up. You could never screw this up.”
Ellie’s arms squeezed around my waist as she let her tears soak into the crook of my neck with a shuddering sob. “You are the only good thing that has ever happened to me.”
“And you’re still the sun.” I spoke softly, inching away only to cup her freckled face in my hand and press my forehead to hers. “You saved me. So you’re my sun.”
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lxdymoon0357 · 6 hours ago
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Hey I hope you are doing well. Can I ask you a story on yandere therdéo lapiléon x f reader of the manhwa my in-laws are obbsessed
(Warnings: manipulation, murder, trauma-manipulation, isolation, fake accusations, victim blaming, yandere content in general.)
© Writing belongs to me, Lxdymoon0357. Do not plagiarize, but reblogging, liking and commenting is deeply appreciated.
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Yandere!Therdeo Lapileon X Reader HCs
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♱ I imagine Therdeo met you in the way Pereshati, he somehow learnt you were immune to his blood and you got an arranged marriage, though he gave courting period to make it seem more natural to those around him. I suppose Or you met him at a ball, he got interested and you two got close, somehow.
♱ Either way, he ends up courting you, dating you and eventually marrying you It's not long before the obsession becomes hard and stronger and stronger..It's not a surprise if he minimized your freedom of going out of the Lapileon manor...Why wouldn't he? His blood is sacred and dangerous and he's a noble...A lot of people would be a danger to you!
♱ Therdeo is very protective, but he's also smart. his plans have plans in them so you'll be thinking you're doing good for yourself till he pulls his final move and you realize that up until now you were doing his bidding and it's how you find out how ruel your husband could actually be.
♱ Therdeo has very selective people interact with you, it's almost deranged with how little interaction could be..on most days he himself doesn't visit you or see you till you're knocked out from crying and dehydration.. It's like a repeated cycle of waking up, spending days alone in a small room and falling asleep with nightmares with nowhere to find comfort either..
♱ Celphius might be allowed, but not really...On VERY RARE days is Celphius allowed, but only for short periods of time...So you try to make most of them, because on most days the really only company you have is yourself, some plushies or maybe Therdeo who can't really express himself so interacting with him isn't very productive either..
♱ Of-course immunity building one can say..he has top doctors and every meal has very little blood in them to make sure you're able to go immune to his blood, if you're not..he's not willing to risk it though on days when he and his family does start to bleed..It's hard, you're constantly dizzy and weak..
♱ He gives gifts here and there, not too commonly..but yes, he does give gifts. His love language is spending time, so while he does his paperworks, you're sitting there beside him..some of the only time you're getting some interaction in a few family members here and there.
♱ Therdeo has very strict security outside your door, so escaping or anything is hard..but maybe bribery works, but assuming his guards are loyal to the family, it's going to be hard to bribe them with anything..what will you bribe them with is another question. Loyalty is very pristine and very much maintained in the security personnel and most guards are trained to be loyal to the family they'll eventually serve.
♱ Escaping is hard, but if you somehow do manage it...He won't punish you physically, since as we know he's pretty calm-headed and rational, but maybe starvation or feeding you Lapileon blood so you're so sick, you have to eventually depend on him for even walking or something.
♱ Lapileon blood usage is very dangerous, but it's one of the only times Therdeo is actually willing to use it for wrong uses like Gloria said is against it..He hides it very well, no one suspects it..And of-course, if anything he'll put the blame of Gin..He made sure to keep Gin in such a place so he's right beside you, so his excuses and accusations are most plausible.
♱ He also uses Gin as a way to get rid of any pests he finds..he can't find it in himself to break the rules, so he'll use the one guy who did break them. It's all Gin's fucking fault at being so shitty anyway. Any man or women..Guards, maids, commoners, nobles, etc..all of them will die and it will easy be covered using bribery.
♱ Therdeo is also one to actually use your trauma or anything that triggers you against you..He is smart and he does find out everything about you using sources provided to him as a noble. Eating disorders, past abuse; emotional, mental or physical, even any sorts of assault..he can use it against you, try to force you into victim blaming sorts only to manipulate into him being a savior for you..He may not seem like it, but he's plenty smart.
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pintrestgrl · 1 day ago
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Idk why but I only ever wanna see precious get disciplined. Like Barry in hard dom mode. Idk wtf she did to earn it maybe she had to go outside to chase her cat while Barry was away or something but I just want some drama.
dude me too omg the people love them all cute but i live for the drama and chaos
whenever barry first took her to georgia it was reaaaalllyyy bad. she would try to run off every day. he didn’t work for like three weeks because he didn’t trust her. his tactic was to blackmail and embarrass her into not leaving.
he would sedate her just a lil, to get her more pliable and willing. precious already never wore any clothes but he would make sure of it then , and would pose her to take pics of her naked and exposed.
then when she came to her senses again he would show her all the photos. she knew he knew her daddy and everyone in obx , and he would threaten to send it and leak it if she kept trying to run off.
she would cry n scream n bite but he would just hold her down and try to soothe her. meanwhile she was trying her absolute hardest to get away from him. eventually she got tired and would fall asleep on him and then wake up n feel disgusted with herself.
he would use that against her too n b like “see? you fuckin’ fell asleep on me. you don’t wanna leave. you never did. just want attention— huh?” n she would get so mad at him , at herself.
precious always bein naked is actually a bigger plot then yall think bc she does it from all the trauma from him blackmailing her. she doesn’t know why but it makes her feel better. around whenever she kinda gave up on leaving but still was distant and upset is when he taught her all the rules n how to even live
i’ll go into deeper depth of the rules and everything he taught her if yall want too
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arrowheadedbitch · 15 hours ago
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Maela, I'm just gonna tell you the broad points of the Odyssey because I feel bad that you don't know it at all and are being roped in this way
The Illiad is about the Trojan war, you know, with the wooden horse? And the Odyssey is the sequel to that following a man named Odysseus who is the reigning king of an island named Ithaca
His wife Penelope and his newborn son Telemachus were left in Ithaca while he fought in the Trojan war, a war that lasted ten years. But in the end, Odysseus' side won and he gets to go home!
But, they're out of food, so they need to make a pitstop before they can go back home
So, Odysseus and his crew of SIX HUNDRED sail their ships to a nearby island, they start at the island of the Lotus Eaters where if you eat their fruit they mess with your mind and make you never want to leave, but they manage to get out with little skin off their backs and find a cave filled with sheep
They have 600 men to feed, so they start killing sheep to bring to the ships
But then, a cyclops named Polyphemus comes out. Uh oh, turns out these sheep are his best friends so he's gonna try and kill them.
He kills a few of them, including Odysseus' best friend, Polites, who will haunt the narrative from here on out.
But, Odysseus gave him some wine as a peace offering before he started killing people (and also lied about his name being Nobody) and surprise surprise! It was too strong/drugged so Polyphemus is out of commission for a sec, meaning Ody can form a plan!
That plan? Stab the cyclop's eye so they can escape
So they do that. And it works!
They don't leave immediately and can hear an unknown man asking Polyphemus who hurt him, and he says "Nobody" because he thinks that's Ody's name so the voice essentially calls him a pussy and leaves
But, ody is super pissed off about him killing some of his men, so on his way out he yells at the cyclops and tells him a lot of things, including his full name, title, and address, you know, like an idiot
So then they leave. But, uh oh! There's a huge storm blocking their way to Ithaca!!!
But, Ody sees Aeolus' (wind god) island, so he drops by and asks for help, Aeolus gives him a bag full of wind. This bag has the storm they couldn't cross in it, all he has to do is make sure it stays closed and he's free to go home!
But Ithaca is about ten days away, so he stays up for nine days straight and on the ninth night, he falls asleep and while he's sleeping, one of his crew mates, who are all convinced the bag is actually filled with gold and not a dangerous storm, opens it so they get blown away from Ithaca right before they reach the shores
VERY far away from Ithaca
But, ody manages to wake up and close the bag before all of the storm escapes
Then, Poseidon shows up. Turns out, Polyphemus? Yeah, that's Poseidon's son. Uh oh, HE was the voice they heard in the cave!
Poseidon is pissed at Ody's hubris so he's gonna make his life a living hell, starting by killing a shit ton of his crew, literally drowning multiple ships. The crew goes from just under 600 to a little over 40. YIKES.
But, before poseidon can kill him too, he opens the wind bag and escapes with the last of the wind. They land on an island. Ody sends some men to look around the island and figure out who they are.
But uh oh again! Turns out this is Circe's island! (Minor goddess of sorcery, and don't try to tell me she isn't a goddess, her parents are literally fucking titans, Helios and his wife did not give birth to a mortal) and she turned the scouts he sent into pigs to keep her nymphs safe.
So, Ody comes over, talks to her, he manages to convince her to turn his men back to humans and help him.
She send him to the underworld to meet a dead prophet who will hopefully help him, this prophet is the blind Tiresias and he basically tells him "lol, you're fucked dude, but you WILL get home haha you just won't like who you are by then..." and odysseus says "what the fuck does that mean???" And leaves, deciding that he can't be merciful anymore if he wants to get home in one piece
They pass by some sirens, in epic he kills them in the original he doesn't, yadda yadda, they have to pass through the Lair of Scylla (big freaky sea monster lady with six heads) to get past Poseidon since he still won't let them get home, Odysseus passes put six torches, Scylla eats anyone holding a torch, so that means her mouths are all full and she can't hurt them further, they leave
But, his second in command, Eurylochus is NOT happy with him sacrificing men, they stage a mutiny and end up on an island
Eurylochus kills one of the cows there and WHOOPTY WOO, that cow belongs to Helios, you are FUCKED, uh oh once again
So, the entire crew dies but Odysseus manages to escape, but he ends up injured and washed up on some rando island
The island turns out to belong to a goddess named Calypso and she's been alone for a very long time, so when she sees Odysseus wash up on her island, she decides that he's hers now
Odysseus, who is married to the lovely Penelope, is not happy that this goddess decided he belongs to her now, in both the sense of "he is an object" and "I am in love with you"
He's stuck on this island for about TEN YEARS, then Hermes shows up and tells Calypso she has to let him go
He makes his way home, but Poseidon still ain't over that shit so once he gets to the shores of Ithaca he gets into a big fight with him
But, he makes it through and now he's home...but 118 men have been messing around at the palace since he left and are growing impatient with both his wife and son...
But at this point Odysseus has been gone 20 years, they think he's dead, they know the crown is stalling, so she has to put on a competition. Whoever can string Odysseus' old bow and shoot through very particular obstacles can be the new king with Penelope. But this is a special bow, only Odysseus and Telemachus know how to string it, so Odysseus disguises himself as an old man and does the challenge flawlessly, no one else could do it (except for Telemachus but ody interrupted him so he wouldn't finish)
But now the suitors are planning to kill Telemachus and rape Penelope and take over by force and you KNOW Odysseus can't stand for that so he slaughters all of them in his palace, ALL of them
He finally meets his son, this is the first time he's seen him in twenty years, and he gets to see his wife
Penelope asks him to do one thing for her first, lift up their old wedding bed and take it far away from the palace
Odysseus is hurt, he points out how he had made this wedding bed by hand and it was carved into the tree they first met at and the only way to move it would be to chop that tree down.
Penelope reveals that she never wanted the bed gone, just wanted to see if he knew that because if he didn't then he wasn't the REAL Odysseus but since he does then he is!
So, they get back together and live happily ever after, aside from all the very intense trauma.
Best greek tragedy ever.
By the way, yes, every other character in the illiad also lived through some sort of tragedy going home, that is if they survived the war, odys the only one who took 20 goddamn years to get home though lmao
My favorite part of the Orpheus and Odysseus were in the underworld at the same time is the implication that Odysseus was actually singing for real and not because Epic is a musical retelling
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bruh-anator3000 · 5 months ago
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I dont wanna write a fic right now so i made this visual journey i guess
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possamble · 9 months ago
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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille
#possramble#ignore this im just babbling but#the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel#and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession#platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together#like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married#convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist#but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain#like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just#the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends#the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me#like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed#the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk#people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out#don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it#and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over#like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics#and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with#they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic#it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out#like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched#love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it#anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me#it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3#it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.
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liquidstar · 9 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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calciferisms · 1 day ago
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"Urgh..." Calcifer gave a frustrated grunt. Having no control over his own element is irritating and unnatural. It's making him fidget. And this triangle in a hat is only making him feel nervous. What the hell did he eat before falling asleep that has him dreaming up weird things like this?
"A party?" He repeats, arms folding over his chest. His finger taps away impatiently. Actually, that got him thinking. This is a dream, and this is the first time he's actually been lucid during one. He didn't have to be trapped in this castle! Howl couldn't do anything to him here! Technically, he was free.
This time, Calcifer himself lit the castle on fire. He grabbed every spell that Michael prepared and threw it behind him one after the other with crazed laughter. The powders fed into the blue fire, causing it to roar and grow bigger and more violent.
Then, he ran into the bathroom-- Howl's favorite area where he kept all of his hair dyes and skincare. He grabbed bottle after bottle and squirted them empty or tossed them straight out the window while yelling, "I've always wanted to do this! I just wish it was real! I wish you were here to see it, Howl!!! You ugly, heartless fool!!"
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"I take it back, triangle! I AM having a great time!!!!"
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"Now you're not miserable, see? A little adrenaline helps every time!" he was laughing about it, too. ...but he took some pity on him and put the flames out, a whoosh going through the room and revealing that, of course, no damage had come to anything.
"You can still have a great time! I'm having a great time! There's nothing wrong with having a little mayhem in your dreams! Just watching is boring anyway!" was this still about calcifer..? "Show me around! This is your head; why don't you dream up a party?"
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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 2 months ago
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Ahhh the freedom of realizing my job is chill enough about calling out that I can stay home when my period is at its worst point without consequence
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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