#i WANT to draw more pokemon stuff but i’m more focused on ocs right now >< days aren’t long enough i swear

[lexiluxray]

Your Professor Sycamore art is so good it soothes my soul and pumps me up to write fics of him 💞💖💘💖💘💖

Super glad I found you, you're doing amazing!!

Aaah thank youuuu 🥺🥺🥺💖 being told my Sycamore stuff help create MORE Sycamore stuff ? I can’t ask for a better compliment ;_; (even more when I am not that confident in the way I draw him, I’m not satisfied yet but I’ll keep working 😤)

Your ask made me realize I missed drawing this idiot so here’s a (french) thank you to you and everyone who leaves nice comments in the tags 👉👈

[onestepbackwards]

Hi there! Welcome to my blog!

I figure since I’ve gained a quite a few new followers as of late, it’s about time for one of these! Please take the time to read if you can!

I’m Zed! I primarily go by She/They pronouns, though I don’t really care what pronouns you use. I’m 25+ years old! I’m chronically ill, so updates may be slow! Please keep that in mind when requesting something!  This is a side blog I have dedicated to stuff I hyperfixate over! I post a lot of shit posts, but I also enjoy writing stuff on here, occasionally posting art, and reblogging things I like related to my interests. That being said, this is primarily a writing/idea discussion blog. Even though this is a writing blog, feel free to send in any ideas, headcanons, art, or writings you have! I love to discuss ideas for characters, and love to hear other people’s thoughts! Or if you just wanna chat too! I’m also Silver Anon on Jes’ blog smallestapplin, and Dom!Reader Anon on Ro’s blog r0-boat! If you want to write or draw something based off of anything written here, you have my permission, just make sure to tag me if you do! I love seeing different people’s work! My chatting tag is Zed.talks, so block that if you want to filter random chatter! PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains 18+ and occasional dark content! Things will be tagged appropriately, but if I miss something, please let me know! My 18+ tag is Spicy Stuff🔥, so make sure to block that tag if you don’t want to see it. All Dark and 18+ content will also be hidden under a Read More. MINORS PLEASE DNI. THIS IS A 18+ ACCOUNT AND I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE A MINOR. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. Rules: This blog focuses heavily on Canon x Reader content! I will not write Canon x Canon, or OC x OC. Poly characters x Reader is fine. Please avoid using names when requesting something. Such as my own, or your own. This is a character x reader blog. Not a Zed x character blog, or a specific person x character blog. All works will be written in second person to the best of my ability. Please don’t use first person when requesting things or submitting things. All reader inserts will use gender neutral terms unless specified otherwise. This is my blog. If I’m uncomfortable with requests, or an AU or idea going around, I have the right to set boundaries and not engage any further. If you continue to push once boundaries are set, you will be blocked. I also reserve the right to delete an ask if it makes me uncomfortable, thank you for understanding. Do not harass other blogs mentioned in this one either. You will be blocked by myself, and any blogs you harass. Harassing myself or others is not condoned here. What I will absolutely NOT write:

Cheating

Zoophilia

pedophilia

NSFW of minor characters

Pokephilia

Scat and piss

Vore

Cannibalism (Blood drinking is fine.)

Dismemberment

Racist and anti LGBTQA+ content

If you send something in on this list, it will be deleted. If it’s not on the list or you aren’t sure, feel free to ask about it first before sending something in. If I find something uncomfortable, I will not write it, but I will let you know if I’m okay with stuff about it being sent in instead. - Things I’m currently interested in:

Pokemon (Hyperfocusing on BW and PLA, but I write for the other games too)

Devil May Cry

Payday 2

Metroid

Legend of Zelda

JJBA (Specifically Parts 1-4)

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Castlevania

Stardew Valley

There are others, but those are the main ones that come to mind. If you aren’t sure about it, make sure to ask!

My character limit per ask is currently 3! Try not to go over that, please!

Thank you for taking time to read this! As of right now, my ask box is OPEN!

If you wish to send something in, please make sure it is properly tagged or warned at the beginning if it contains dark content. Thank you!

Like my writing and wanna support me? Buy me a coffee!

[lintulady]

What’s this? Something that isn’t related to my cat girl?  So.. I’ve not actually mentioned this ever on this blog but I have a comic, it’s called Eclipsed and it’s a comic of my Pokemon Ultra Sun Nuzlocke. I’ve been working on it almost all year now and began posting a few months ago. I’m bringing this up because it’s the reason I probably won’t be drawing/posting anything KNHA/BNHA oc comeback stuff for at least all of this month if not the rest of the year since I really wanna focus on making my page backlog while I still have a lot of free time and all and all do more behind the scenes work for my comic. I’m turning 18 next month so I’m gonna be getting quite busy soon with learning how to be an adult so my endless freetime is running low slowly and I wanna use it to support my passion project...

And.. Lately I’ve just not been happy with a single Momo drawing I’ve made, I’ve basically hated every birthday comic’s result for a little bit now and only noticed recently via me actually liking how my art looked in my comic instead of hating it as I do when looking at a lot of those gift comics I’ve made here.. No hate to the people I made them for or anyone who likes them but I myself can just see the rush and anxiety that those comics caused and I can see how it affected the overall quality.

So yeah! Sorry to everyone who’s birthdays I’m probably gonna be missing, I might draw those at some point but I can’t promise anything, right now I want to focus on my comic since I’m finally getting out of the tutorial area aka my own version of the plot is finally properly starting up so I’m focusing my energy on it for the time being.

Thank you for reading this little update! I’ll still be active but won’t be posting for a bit, I hope that’s understandable.. And thank you for all the Momo content support, I promise she isn’t abandoned she’s just on a little vacation!

Incase anyone’s curious I’ll throw some links to where you can read Eclipsed! (I recommend Tapas I’m just now uploading to Comic Fury so that one is really behind)

Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/Eclipsed---Ultra-Sun-Nuzlocke/info

Comic Fury: https://eclipsed.thecomicseries.com/

[taglegend]

Tag Fact #3 -  I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her. 

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.

[twilightvolt]

I kinda was saving this for when i had the time to type everything out in one go, so let’s just get this over with before Smash drags me back into the depths of hell. XD

So, like, things happened back in 2017. a lot of things. graduated highschool, felt the winds of freedom as i stepped into the world of adulting and.....fell into a deep abyss of crippling depression as my life took a rather....wild turn to say the least. these feelings would linger and continue to haunt me throughout the majority of 2018. if you’d like to hear them or just need a refresher, my 2017 summary WITH that in depth description is on my DA that i no longer use cuz all i can think of when i go there is that year as a whole.

That’s not to say the year was cruddy, though. it really looked up by the end and it’s been one of the better years of my life as an artist. i’m about to go into that, so sit tight if you wanna actually read everything.

January: Arcus ~Collab with KLou

Things got heated at grandma’s after the holidays and we left in a huff cuz yeah, big fight the night before. it wasn’t something i ever wanna remember, but i gotta acknowledge it happened. thus began the struggles of living life as a nomad basically. From this point on until May, i won’t say much about our situation cuz honestly, time grinded to a halt after hotel life began.

February: Let’s Save the World

Believe it or not, this was a mobile drawing. i still didn’t have my tablet or my computer, so i tried using my phone for awhile. this was, of course, after i got Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory for PS4, so this right here was my Dracomon babu Takumi, named after the former wearer of the goggles i equipped to him.

March: Let’s Kick It!

A brief moment of light as i fINALLY GOT MY TABLET BACK ONLINE! i felt like things were going to be different, we’d finally get somewhere and i felt like i could do anything again! this drawing, while super simple since it was just me around most of my current OCs at the time, was meant to represent me being back in business after around 4 or 5 months of being restricted to traditional work, a medium i, at the time, didn’t have much development in. (although, those months sure did help me learn how to draw that way in more than just sketching. so i’m actually kinda grateful i was stripped of the tools that i realize i may or may not have taken for granted.)

April: Spyro the Dragon

The Reignited Trilogy was announced and that’s why i drew that cuz literally everyone was doing Spyro fanart. i remember also doing a bunch of little doodles of other people’s characters in this same coloring style since some of the drawings i did before like the mobile drawing and my traditional work gave me inspiration on how to go about doing this new watercolor/marker like style that i started to experiment with throughout 2016 and ‘17.

May: Memories in Pieces

Remember how i said time grinded to a halt after hotel life began? yeah, this is where it reeeeaaally started to effect me. the days dragged on and blended together, we STILL could secure a home to house all of us and it just felt like my life was just....over. like, all the important stuff happened and now my story’s just done. it didn’t help that memories from the year before decided to come back and hang over me like an undying demon cloud. my anxiety and depression couldn’t have been higher. and yet i still managed to wake up. in fact, i woke up bright and early every day somehow. it felt like there wasn’t anything to believe in and yet....i still had hope that we could get through this. i knew deep down we weren’t gonna be completely out of luck.....but i still hurt at the same time.

I never uploaded this drawing anywhere, but this was, to put it simply, partly a new direction for a future project but also a vent art of sorts, representing the negative thoughts and regrets that never seemed to leave me alone no matter how much time has passed.

June: Digimon Atlas Adventures Ultima Vocal Collection

My second commission ever made since i opened that month. it was also the first time i really cel shaded along with made a logo since the year before. this day marked the turning point along with the end of my depression for the most part as the parents finally gave up and took...some of us down to Florida. a couple of siblings had jobs to keep up with, so they had to stay back in NY with.....eghh....grandma. to this day, i’m still hearing stories even if some of them eventually found their own place. i swear, the more i hear about what’s going on, the less i wanna go back to NY. >_>’

July: Drake ~Art Fight 2018

Oh yeah, we moved down to FL, but we were still in hotels IN FL, so there was change, but still pretty similar circumstances. we quickly found a place at some point, though. a cozy apartment complex that i’m happy to live in.

This is when Art Fight began....or rather when it was supposed to begin cuz they had technical difficulties for the first week or so. the day i revamped Drake for it was like i was saying hi to an old friend after parting ways years prior. it was a really fun experience that i’d gladly partake in again next year if i’ve got the time.

August: Gathers Under Night...

A very ambitious looking piece i did as an attack against a friend during Art Fight. it was my favorite attack i ever did and could quite easily be my favorite drawing from this year. after leaving hotel life behind me, i rarely, if ever, had war flashbacks or anxiety over the past. i felt like my life was finally getting somewhere again. for real this time. and that it did, thankfully.

September: Lost in Thought

A gift i made for a longtime friend and art senpai to try and cheer them up. i still look back at this and think “yeah....this is the style i’ve been longing to emulate. and i’ve finally achieved it.” granted, it took a lot from Kingdom Hearts II’s title screen, but where do you think i got my love of watercolor from?

At this point, i started to become a new person. i mean i already was considering the summer also involved me trying to become a little less total weeb at least in terms of music taste and also leaving my hoodie lifestyle for a good few months, but yeah. in fact, i think this was the month i buzzed off all my emo hair and really ended up resembling how i looked like back when i was little, anime cowlick and all.

October: The Lethal Protector

Oh yeah, Venom happened. i should’ve disliked that movie with all it’s flaws and unused potential, but instead i wholeheartedly stan it and i luv the portrayal of Eddie and Venom to the point where i forgive where it went wrong.

Yeah, i completely moved on from everything that tied me down at this point. i yeeted the past into the stratosphere and focused solely on what i wanted to do now. what my next move was. and i can thank these two losers for helping me stay focused on my craft. i also kept branching outside of Digimon. i wanted to be more than what i used to be.

November: My Favorite Ninja Frog

Didn’t do much this month, so all i had was a doodle of my starter partner for Pokemon Y. i never evolved him past Frogadier cuz i preferred him over Greninja. it was the tongue scarf, dude.

Why? ehh, it was most likely Warframe. i got into that game at some point cuz a friend persuaded me to do it. i don’t regret anything. i luv this game when i’m playing with friends.

December: Draw Your Roster Ultimate: The Winds of Reunion + Holiday Arcus

The Winds of Reunion cuz Wind Waker and the fact that everyone including Wolf, Young Link and even Pichu returned to Smash Bros. when Ultimate happened. this game cured my depression, cleared my skin and reignited my love for Starfox oddly enough since Starfox Zero AKA 64 with a new coat of paint and motion controls that weren’t as bad as you think didn’t exactly do it for me. i haven’t been so content with the way things are in a long time and i’m happy i finally got my hands on this treasure of a game. now, to wait for Kingdom Hearts III. ;w;

And now we finally get to the end of this long as heck recap. thank god Tumblr gives you unlimited characters, amirite? XD

Overall, this was a year of recovery and rebirth. it was a long and rough winding road, but in the end i think i’ve healed enough to finally get on with my life.

I’m not the same kid i used to be when i graduated highschool, and i’m definitely not the same kid i was when i was first starting out as an artist. my journey has been full of ups, downs and all arounds and it was all a much needed learning experience. even if i felt like i was suffering at times.

My future is mine to decide, and i’m not letting anything stand in my way again.

For the future i want to believe in.

[toldentops]

so uh

there’s this dude that i’ve been talking to for a bit and he was a nice guy and all but he keeps being whiny on deviantart about getting rejected by girls and he calls girls “females” and I honestly feel uncomfortable about him?? he made a journal abt how he’s been miserable and nobody likes him and the girl he liked rejected him. deadass this was the second time he asked this same girl and she rejected him again like dude can’t you take a hint?? This dude asked a girl out, she rejected him, he made a journal about “hmm maybe I should take a break” the writes another journal about how miserableh e is because he asked the same girl out and gets rejected. Honestly what the fuck man, you expect me to feel sorry for you?? then he writes a journal about how he got a girlfriend after he talked about “getting one” like he told me he was just in a rush to have a girlfriend and that honestly bothers me bc he actually confessed to me once about liking me. It was flattering, yes, but it felt so unreal and made up. He just. acts so desperate and yknow I was skeptical about him getting a girlfriend and he told me yesterday “yeah I just want one in the future” like man I get it but that’s all it seems like you’re focused on. dude, like let love come to you don’t go asking for it. 

deadass he mentions everyone in the discord group “hey im single now” and it’s like bitch????/ it hasnt even been a week and he’s just BEGGING for attention.... and I told him “buddy why am I not surprised” like judging by the was he acts in his journals and when he talks to me, he just wants a girlfriend for the sake of having one

he just makes me uncomfortable in general because every time I get onto discord he messages me like “hewwo” or smthn and sometimes I just don’t feel like talking to him but it’s like he messages me the moment he knows I’m online...

I don’t feel sorry for him one bit. First of all, he’s got to get over rejection and not be whiny about it. He’s got to learn when to just stop. I’ll say that he’s admitted to his mistakes before about rejection but the moment he said that he had a girlfriend I just kinda was disappointed. 

deadass his deviantart page says single:looking  like buddy. come ON did you not learn anything at all??

More gripes down below, I just really wanna say everything

See the first time I ever talked to him was him asking for an art trade. He wanted an anthro milotic(which I said in my commission page that I did not do) and he asked if I did fetish art.  I don’t know why I took it in, I just felt kind of uncomfortable about it. I asked him for a mlm scrafty and eelektross couple and he OK but in the description he said male scrafty and ambiguously gendered eelektross. Now, it wasn’t much of a problem but still. I had learned later from him that he doesn’t care for mlm porn, even though he was fine with gay. Here’s the thing, I wasn’t asking for porn, and if he was ok with gay ships, then he should have been fine putting “hey look here’s some gay pokemon” in the description.

He’s also said to me multiple times about how hot lesbian porn is and I’m like “OK” but it’s so clear that he’s fetishizing them. He’s got mostly female pokemon anthro ocs in skimpy outfits and to me, that’s a red signal right there. it literally says in his deviantart “i  like to slap tits on pokemon” and I’m like, OOF....

it’s just so obvious that he fetishizes women., it’s gross.

he’s also got a foot fetish and yknow at the beginning of our conversation I was like well ok, and we both shared what turned us on and there was that mutual trust but one day he asked me to share photos of my feet and just the thought of him jacking off to my feet made me really uncomfortable. Every time I draw his characters he asks if I can show their feet. he’s also asked me to draw nsfw of his characters multiple times, Although I admit I never explicitly said “no” I always said that I was busy or whatever. I was never really against it but he’d always say u don’t have to if u don’t want to” and I’d say “yeah no i dont want to” but he’d ask again at some point like bro dont’ you know how to take a hint

there was always this uncomfortable tension in the conversation, it was always something along the lines of “hey (insert sexual thing here), and then Id be like “nah man im not up to it” and then hed be like oof ok sorry if u don’t wanna do it then u don’t have to but i’d love if you did” and it always felt like guit tripping of some sort. I don’t feel comfortable talking to him and I’d never know how to directly tell him “look I don’t wanna talk to you right now” and I didn’t want to make him feel like I hated him or didn’t care about him. but the more I interacted with him the more I began to feel skeptical of his character despite the many journals about how thankful he is about the people in his life and the apologies

idk if those apologies are good intentioned or just a tactic to guilt other people into feeling sorry for him or whatever. 

So, jump to yesterday where he announces that he was single. all trust in him and his relationship just. dropped. He DID say that the girl just wan’t ready to have a relationship so based on what he told me it’s not really his fault, but just based on the way he acted he acted more liek “hhhhhH she dumped me lemme make everyone feel bad for me Hey guys i don’t wanna talk rn but i feel horrible and  lemme just disappear” instead of “well she just wasnt ready and I understood that so we broke up” 

Buddy if you were really sad and you really loved her you wouldn’t put “single and looking” on your fucking deviantart page. That’s honestly the last straw and I’ve given up on trying to deal with him. I told him straightforward “hey buddy you need to take a break” and he said something like “now’s not the time to tell me this u made me feel worse now” tell me that’s not guilt tripping. THis event is what made me tell you this, I felt the need to address this to you, listen here buddy you need to take a break. That is the point I was trying to get to him. I told him he comes of as desperate, straight and to the point. He told me that other people have told him that too. Buddy can’t you take a hint, like, at all?? 

To be fair, he does make journals saying “oh im sorry about the way I acted and I need yalls help for recovery” and my only thought is “hey maybe if you changed the way you act then maybe this wouldn’t happen again, hence me getting pissed at his “single and looking” status.

also, he kinda just turned 18 so he’s pretty much an adult. I just feel like he shouldn’t feel inclined to have a girlfriend, and the fact that we talked about nsfw stuff at all makes me feel uncomfortable.

the time when we talked were nice, but I just don’t want to talk to him or deal with him, but I also don’t want to regret it.

If anyone wants to see him journals or our conversations, PM me because I honestly don’t know what to do rn and yknow he seems to be completely over it now

the least I can do is protect his name

[dreamsreblogs]

Tagged by: @quatral

Rules: Tag nine people (yeah that’s not happening lol)

Relationship status: What’s a relationship? hahaha *sobbing*

Favorite color: Probably a light desaturated purple right now, but I love a few specific shades of pretty much every color

Pets: Until very recently I had a black cat named Lewis; he was 15 when he passed away unexpectedly. We still have his brother, a grey tabby named Jake - and recently got a white-with-black-spots half-pit puppy named Octavia (Tavi for short). 

Wake up:  Recently I’ve been getting up around 10:30. I am not, never have been, and probably never WILL be, an early riser. 

Cats or dogs:  Cats. Absolutely cats. I like dogs, but they’re harder and have so much energy and I have no idea what they’re thinking at any given point in time. I know cats like I know myself.

Coke or Pepsi: Coke. Pepsi has always tasted gross to me *shrug*

Day or Night:  Night. The dark is calm and quiet and easier on the eyes. I can walk around and not feel like people are watching me. And I get all my best ideas at night - drawing is easier at night. 

Text or call: That depends. Communication is so much easier to me over a call - but texting is so much less stressful if it’s someone I need to be careful around (and not sound like an idiot to). I’d rather text bosses / coworkers / student peers, but call friends and family I guess?

Chapstick or lipstick:  Neither. I low-key wish I knew of a lipstick color that wouldn’t look stupid on me, but since I don’t really wear makeup it’d probably stick out no matter what, and I’d feel like a fool experimenting. Especially since it’s expensive. As for chapstick, I wear it when I have to, but for the most part I don’t like the oily feel of it.

City or country: Country. I like the quiet, and the stars at night. The bugs (praying mantises! milipedes! damselfies! lacewings!), the plants, and the freedom to be outside without feeling observed (usually). I could lay mostly naked in a hammock in the windy shade on a hot day if I wanted to! Without having to worry about someone being disgusted by my fat haha

Last book I read:  Oh god I’m not sure. I go through like, waves, of wanting to read, and having zero interest in reading. The most recent wave, all I’ve read is fanfics. Before that I went through another dystopia craze, but got peeved off with like 4 different series and never finished any of them. I can’t actually remember what the last book I finished was... the last book I STARTED reading was Steven King’s Insomnia (which, I’ve read before). It was on my desk by my bed and I read the first chapter a few weeks ago. 

Last song i listened to:  Shostakovich’s Waltz #2 - which sounds incredibly pretentious xD I’ve been putting together playlists for the bot on a discord server, though, and was just listening to random stuff to see what I wanted to add.

Five facts about me:

1. I sometimes have weirdly vivid and comprehensive dreams. Like, to the point where when I tell people about them, they often think I must have consciously added details or plot points after-the-fact. I do often use dreams as inspiration for most of what I write or draw, but when I tell my dreams as-is, they ARE as-is. Honestly, unconscious me is a much better, much more detail focused story teller than I could hope to be while awake. I can’t take the credit.  2. I will absolutely always want to talk about headcanons and OCs for Harry Potter, Starwars, and Pokemon. Those three are my favorite universes- there’s so much leeway to do your own thing, but within interesting context. Talk to me about wand-cores and what your animagus form and patronuses would be. Tell me what race your jedi/padawan is and what color your light saber is and what your ship is like. Tell me all about your pokemon team and how you got into training and what you carry in your pack. I looooveeee themmmmm 3. I live within 4 hours of Canada - but I’ve never been there; the only time I’ve ever been out of the country, I went to Beijing China for two weeks. Also despite having traveled as far as China - I’ve never even been to the ocean.  4.  I come across as really weirdly ‘random’ sometimes, but I think it’s mostly due to an incredibly short attention span. If I have a thought, it’s like I HAVE to follow that new thread. I’ll do this thing where, like, for example - my mom might say “Hey look a butterfly!” and I’ll look up and see this little white butterfly - so I’ll say “oh yeah!”... but then immediately my brain is off - that butterfly reminds me of a monarch we named Karma that we saved from a random summer hail storm - which makes me think about hail, which makes me think about bad weather in general, which reminds me of that time we lived in the trailer park and there was a tornado, and I was really afraid of tornadoes as a kid but one day I found a rock with a tornado pattern on it and I let myself believe it was a talisman that would protect me, but isn’t just “Letting yourself believe something” kind of weird? That gets me thinking about beliefs and religion, which gets me thinking about “okay but what sparked the big bang” and “what if that was the launching of our quantum “program” and higher dimensional beings are our “God”? Which just gets me thinking about the 4th dimension in general and trying to understand it. So I ask my mom “Do you ever think about the 4th dimension?”... but from her point of view the entire interaction was “Hey look a butterfly!” “Oh yeah!” *10 second pause* “Do you ever think about the 4th dimension?” I’m sure it seems less weird over the internet- firstly y’all don’t know what else might have drawn my attention to that new thought (did the tv mention it? did I see a post on my dashboard?), and also it’s probably pretty a fairly common thing anyway- but people irl have expressed a lot of confusion over how I flit from one thing to the next like that. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to backtrack and explain how I got from a song on the radio to that time I found a lightening bug in the grass with my peripheral vision when it only had really dim residual glow and hadn’t even flashed and how weird peripheral vision is in general, for example. 5. I get really upset or defensive if I’m feeling like I’m being misunderstood; especially if someone is telling me ‘how I feel’ or ‘what I think’ and I disagree. My point can be entirely irrelevant, but if I can’t get it across, I get really frustrated with myself. I’ll try to rephrase it a million times just desperately trying to be understood, but the more flustered I am, the less good I am with my words - and to the other person it looks like I’m just being bull headed about the point they THINK I’m making and repeating it over and over. If the argument ends and they still think I meant something I didn’t, I get really self-conscious of what they must think of me as a person, and will probably assume they never want to talk to me again and will tell all their friends about how awful I am. Sometimes I’ll apologize, but I can’t erase the mental image of them judging me for something I never even thought when I talk to them, so when I do, I often try to explain AGAIN at that point in time... and usually that gets them upset again. So usually I don’t apologize at all. But I also don’t usually try to go on as if nothing happened either, because I get all wrapped up in myself and become sure they hate me, so I don’t talk to them at all unless they talk to me first, or it’s been long enough for me to forget it happened (eg. at least a year). So... if we get into an argument where I’ve repeated myself a lot and then I stopped talking to you: I’m not ignoring you because I’m mad, I’m assuming you hate me and am afraid to talk to you any more because you might just be tolerating me (someone you hate and wish would stop talking to you) because you’re nice.  

Tagging:

idk, @just-to-express-not-impress and @sonicega and @tuftyfluff Pretty sure everyone else I’d like to tag was already tagged by Quatral, or wouldn’t be interested in doing one of these anyway

[kaylithographica]

found these artist questions while bored during a break from class

Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?

I used to draw entirely digital, but lately I sketch traditional first and that’s been working out pretty well.

How long have you been drawing?

Since I was a wee bab drawing stick dogs

How many classes have you taken?

Nothing since what was required in high school.  I did this art summer program when I was a kid too

Do you have a DeviantArt, personal website, or art blog?

I have an old cursed dA full of homestuck art, a new dA that has literally nothing on it, and this tumblr blog

What’s your favorite thing to draw?

faces!

What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

clothes.  I actually don’t mind drawing backgrounds even if I’m not great at them and usually never do it

How often do you use references?

All the damn time friend, couldn’t draw without them

Do you draw professionally, or just for fun?

For fun, always.  Lord I cannot even imagine trying to do it professionally

How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

hahahaha

Are you confident about your art?

To an extent.  I don’t like sharing unfinished stuff

How many art-related blogs do you follow?

Most of the non-toku blogs I follow are people who draw.  It’s not necessarily intentional but this blog is pretty clearly reblogging a lot of pretty pictures.  As far as like, Official art blogs though, not many

Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Of course!  I don’t know how much I would have to say though

Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

Yes.  The thing about drawing gift art though, it takes me so fucking long to finish it that I get embarrassed actually giving it to them.....

Do you ever collaborate with others?

No.  It’s not that I wouldn’t want to but again, it takes me so long to finish anything that I don’t think it would work out

How long does an average piece take you to complete?

hahahahahahahahahahaahahha

Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less?

I go through phases of productivity, but overall definitely less than like when I was in high school

Do you think you’re justified in giving other people art advice?

Not really.  But I’ll try to help out anyone who does ask

What are you currently trying to improve on?

hmmm.  Varying body types is what I’m focusing on right now I’d say

What is the most difficult thing for you to draw?

clothes

What is the easiest thing for you to draw?

faces

Do you like to challenge yourself?

Yeah!  If I don’t try new things I lose interest really quickly

Are you confident that you’re improving steadily?

Well I don’t think I’m getting worse anyway.  But yeah I can see some improvement even though I’m not drawing a lot at all and that’s nice

Do you draw more fanart, or more original art?

Fanart.  That kind of depends on if you count my pokemon OCs as original, because I draw them the most by far, but ignoring them I draw mostly fanart

Do you feel jealous when you see other people’s art, or inspired? (Be honest!)

Inspired, honestly!  Going back to that confidence question, it’s more that I’m comfortable with my art being mine, like I’m still trying to improve but where my art is at right now is okay for me.  I don’t feel the need to compare it to anyone else.  So I see a style I like and it’s like, ‘someday my art could be that cool.  hell yeah’

Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

With music or youtube videos or something, absolutely.  Sometimes I get distracted and don’t realize I’m drawing with no noise but it’s never on purpose

For digital artists: what program(s) do you use?

fire alpaca, going to try out medibang soon

For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require?

3 for sure - sketch, lineart, at least one color layer.  Usually end up using several color layers and random layers for text and stuff

For traditional artists: what medium do you like most? (Pencil, charcoals, etc)

(I sketch with just a regular-ass mechanical pencil)

For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc)

(When I was in that summer program, we had to make our base sketch piece by piece with a grid.  It drove me up the fucking wall but I do hope it helped me have a better eye for using references)

What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

Seriously, seeing other people’s work!  Especially fan content.  There’s so much good stuff out there that I want to contribute to