#i LOVE shake it out so much though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

baronessblixen · 2 months ago

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Song recs!

When by Dodie

Seashore by the Regrettes

Shake it Out by Florence + the Machine

:)

Thank you!!

When by Dodie: it's okay

Seashore by The Regrettes: kinda catchy

Shake it Out by Florence + the Machine: already in my library!

#lovely asks #song recs #the first two are a bit too modern for me haha #i LOVE shake it out so much though #seashore really is catchy though

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zarnzarn · 3 months ago

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(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)

athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute

odysseus: what?

athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do

penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes

odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?

athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.

penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire

athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.

penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment

zeus: where are they going

hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-

#odysseus disappears midway because athena plants one on him so hard his soul evaporates #(strategic to make him stop from coming after them and also from passion she forgot to hold back for once)#(and also shes maybe possibly in love and cant wait to get vengeance on Calypsos bitch ass who hurt him so much for so long)#penelope has had to deal with calypos afteraffects for literally the rest of their lives. from flashbacks to odysseus inconsolably crying #at her feet for forgiveness some days even though shes always said frim the first moment that it wasnt his fault #the rest of the gods have to chase them down to prevent them from eternally torturing calypso (goddesses cant die <3)#athenas blazing mad and sick with guilt and horror. she couldn't attack before because it would be seen as an attack from olympus #but as a wife! as two wifes! no political implications there no holds barred calypso gets her ass BEAT #but also pls imagine them chasing her and gods chasing them round and round the island while screaming #odysseus wavered like 17 times on whether to ask hermes for a lift there or not but goes in the end #their honeymoon in truth ends up being on ogygia #athena lovingly and seductively teaching penelope how to fillet a person both of them covered in ichor #odysseus with a hand over his mouth blushing grinning tears in eyes torn between turned on and terrified to be back and crying coz they lov #him that much.#((he goes to her just before they leave in the cave she used to drag him to. she can barely hold herself up and hes shaking to approach))#((but he's stronger now. settled and satisfied and content. he kneels by her and sets down bandages next to her.))#((i told you i was married he says. and because his truest weapon is his tongue- if youd just listened i wouldve found us both a way out))#she sobs and he leaves. the scars will never fade fully but he feels lighter as he steps out into the sun where athene and pen are waiting.#bloodsoaked and being shouted at by hera but smiling at him widely and gleefully as he approaches. takes a hand each and presses him btwn.#he squeezes back with a smile and leans into them. his beautiful horrifying wives #odypenath #odypenetha #odysseus #penelope #athena #odypen #odyath #penath #epic the musical #love in paradise

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myokk · 3 months ago

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my favorite bookworm

#ok as u can tell (like everything I post here) super rushed and scribble bahahahahahahahahah #trying to get likeness without many lines & as fast as possible…🥲#I hope I get better😆#today all I did was art #my hands have finally stopped shaking so much since I had Covid for a whole month (🥲) and I started tattooing a lot #but lots of practice bc it’s been so long🥲🥲🥲#I love how the tattoo turned out though #then I did an acrylic underpainting for an oil self-portrait I’m going to do tomorrow #bc the last one was in 2021😳 I posted it to my Twitter if u want to see #and then I went and bought LOTS OF BOOKS for my 2 year old nephew…need to get him started early😆#and then I got home and I had…15 min for this little scribble #idk I wanted to post it even though it doesn’t look like him #but the last eloise drawing I did didn’t look like her either😆😆#anyways bookworm Sebastian supremacy #I love the posr so tbh I might redo it sometime soon but like. actually good #and I need to do the next illustrstion for my fic I already have it sketched out and everything!!!!!!!!!#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanart #hphl #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanart

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mattastr0phic · 2 months ago

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Are you okay with people being in love with Micah's bodyguard :3<filled with shame so I had to ask this on anon

I should say in general I don't mind people being attracted to/appreciating my characters in this way. I just see it as a big compliment that someone could like them that much. This extends not just to the bodyguards but to Myriad and me. I just appreciate the compliment.

#very happy so far that people like micah's bodyguards!!#+ in general while myriad is my wife i also want to be able to love her that much with others if that makes any sense.#any ppl out there in love with myriad too. come here can we shake hands and feel joy together #the only exception to this rule would probably be no flirting with me please! im a married man #body appreciation stuff in the past has been really nice though! and a huge confidence boost much appreciated always welcome #bounds #inbox #scp inbox #doodleys

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revvethasmythh · 7 months ago

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It is interesting, in retrospect, how during and immediately after their encounter with Delilah in episode 77, you can see it actively dawn on Imogen that Delilah is a 24/7 voyeur to everything that happens to/around Laudna, including her relationship with Laudna. Delilah taunts them by saying, "I'm always here" and Imogen whispers to herself, "Always," like this is the first time she's realized it and then immediately starts trying to plan a way, any way, to separate them, including saving the gods from Predathos specifically to call in a favor from one of them. It's such a numb, sudden, harrowing realization. It build perfectly to her admission of disgust when they were in the Fey Realm a couple episodes later

#on today's episode of ''I was in the transcript search looking for something specific and then got distracted'': This!#like but actually in retrospect the way that scene plays out is WILD #anyway actually genuinely curious how this dynamic shakes out in the long haul #because liek yeah maybe it's possible to separate laudna and delilah! idk! pike seemed to think there was a minuscule chance it was possibl #and delilah obvi says there's not. but. who's to say.#if a god could do it i'll put my money on the matron both for fate-relating powers also because i knew she hates delilah so fucking much #i bet she'd love the opportunity to punt her from existence #but again. don't know where that leaves laudna. considering the matron's domain is so anti-undead #there's some interesting potential here though either way #cr tag

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yo-yo-yoshiko · 9 days ago

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Timelapse of those last two Blade peices. I actually remembered to turn the capture on for once cause I was so enthusiastic i thought this one would go smoothly but if you've ever wanted to see an artist ABSOLUTELY FIGHT a piece: here you go!!!

#timelapse #speed paint #cw flashing #flashing lights #kamen rider #kamen rider blade #kenzaki kazuma #fan art #the reason i did two pieces was cause i was SO unsatisfied with what is actually a decent piece imo #but it wasn't hitting the right feeling it just wasn't the right mood!!!#kenzaki leaping is legit probably the hardest pose i've ever drawn #i fully knew going in that i wanted to draw him leaping OVEr the camera but that angle and pose combine a lot of my weaknesses lol!#and i really really needed to get the right energy down too so it had to be good wahhhh #these are the things i go through lmao! this is why art is fun though and why i love it so much i got excited wahaha!#there are really no good reference images for this kind of pose either so i had to do a lot of thinking #i feel like i learned some good stuff!#fully wanna reuse this pose in something in the future lol i worked THAT hard on it i wanna CAPITALIZE #probably won't shake out though lmao!

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nyasmodei · 3 months ago

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my personal favourite holostars tempus covers ♡

(axel’s kyu-kurarin has a fanbase of its own fr)

#bettel sticking out with voltaire #hallowtempus week was definitely. a time #curse you #doppelganger vn #for causing me so much pain #*shakes fist at the heavens*#gavis bettel #my goth girlfailure fall guys loving icon #axel syrios #banzoin hakka #two people i wish would SHUT TF UPPPPPPP😭#axel's ikemen only shows up during his covers #honestly wouldn't have it any other way #hakka #the coolest and the cutest exorcist #*grabs him by the collar and shakes him around*#he's 160 cm i can do that #WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH TALENT DUDE YOURE SO COOL #not when youre talking about placentamaxxing though #machina x flayon #mr cat man #genuinely whats his problem #he has a few screws loose sometimes #but thats my oshi for you #what a guy #it should be studied how many of my oshis are VAs and singers #it probably says a lot about me #holostars #jo's vtuber rambling #holostars tempus

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kaidanalenkosprmanager · 7 months ago

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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: THE CITADEL (PART 2)

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Maj. Kaidan Alenko With: Councilor Donnel Udina, Councilor Tevos, Councilor Laiel Sparatus, Cmdr. Armando-Owen Bailey, and Kai Leng And a Special Guest Appearance by: The Illusive Man But sometimes the way a thing goes down does matter, Sophie. Later- when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity- then it matters. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard #james vega #EDI #kaidan alenko #shenko #fshenko #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #james’s panicked face as the shuttle goes down you will always be famous to me bc you are so relatable #at this point i just know the normandy crew is not letting shep EDI or james near anything mechanical anymore #(something mechanical explodes around them on literally every mission at this point- cars.. bombs.. ships.. you name it!) :)#the way i didn’t even realize EDI and kaidan were wearing matching armor on this mission until i got to the elevator and i- 🥹 (blue crew!!)#but like- the way when soph gets off the elevator and kaidan has the gun drawn and she tells them to lower their weapons??#and EDI and james don’t even hesitate? THOSE ARE MY BABIES!!! THATS MY SQUAD RIGHT THERE!! THE LEVEL OF TRUST BETWEEN THESE THREE!! 🥹🥹🥹#and they don't raise their weapons again?? not until soph raises hers?? like it's the level of trust between her and them for me 🥹#i will say i talk a lot about how me3 shenko canon doesn’t really follow my own shenko canon (and my canon coup is MUCH DIFFERENT)#but something i noticed about the coup that i really liked? when kaidan has his gun drawn on shep you can see his hands shaking a little #it’s SO SUBTLE (and it’s easier to notice when you’ve got the video slowed down) but like?? the way his hands aren’t steady??#when he has the gun drawn on someone he loves?? i cried a bit making that gif ngl 🥺#the soft little ‘you won’t’ from shep after ‘i better not regret this’ makes me 🥺 every time.#there’s a canon reason soph doesn’t take the renegade interrupt but part of it is bc i like kaidan’s convo on the docks better :)#speaking of the docks the intro to the convo is a bit nonchalant but i like kaidan’s speech about integrity/living with your decisions #and the conversation between him/shep about what happened on the landing pad (though i wish it was a tiny bit longer!!)#there’s no ‘i feel like you would have taken me out’ line in the soph™️ canon but we supplemented it with some rewriting bc loose canon™️#(she never draws a gun on the landing pad either but that’s a story for the actual canon 🙃)#and yes i gif’ed the ass shot. there’s only one valid ass shot in the series and it’s this one! and you can quote me on that! ✨

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9990zara · 2 months ago

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thinking about. narukami arashi. in all her messy self. augh...

#i love her sm and its like way beyond the queen girlboss thing #i have yet to read much of her in the !! stories cuz im catching up slowly but #at least in what ive read so far. shes such a wonderful character. full of duality #shes caring shes distant shes cute and dainty she could beat your ass shes confident shes insecure shes collected shes impulsive #she wants to be loved and love as well but she knows it's painful to chase after someone... to lose people... its painful and scary...#i love how she insists on being there for mika bc she already lost someone to her self centeredness. she will reach out.#she will not allow herself to miss her friends' pain again #but also she keeps her distance... leo had to literally shake her pain out of her...#in ! even though eeeveryone is mean and transphobic she keeps smiling and doesnt push the issue #even tho it hurts her sm to be constantly invalidated...#(yes ik its a good bit of retcon shut up)#even though shes so confident in herself. she still cowers at the thought of being rejected and ostricized.#tbh i love knights in general. the overarching theme of “individualists”#but theyre all just. deeply lonely and unloved people #theyre sticking close and playing family but theyre all terrified deep down its all a house of cards...#i need to read the model trio lookback. i need little nacchan and the birth of her insane crush on the teacher guy.#(also tbh i stand by nacchan being thw most normal knights member. even her crush is Just Girlhood Things)#(like cmon who didnt know a girl who had a delusional crush on someone older. i knew like 10 girls like that #its only the child model part that makes her unusual. between a rich nobleson a yandere tsundere model #a genious lunatic composer a vampire chuunibyou guy and a child model tgirl. whos the most normal)#enstars #arashi narukami

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loderlied · 8 months ago

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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

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lanternmice · 2 years ago

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uh u h uh, woe wife be upon ye???

RUBS EYES. HI . OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU I FEEL LIKE I COULD DIE. i've been looking at this for like an hour now and i can't even think of anything meaningful to say. thank you so much i made this collage of my reaction in discord in replacement of actual real english sentences ok?

#oh my god i get to be crazy in the tags now . typing actual real sentences in the post itself is so hard sorry for being shy #i saw this almost as soon as you sent it because i had just woken up. but i seriously started shaking like a chihuahua when i opened it #i had to wear myself down in discord before i could respond with any semblance of a full english sentence #which is why it took me so long to answer it rven though i was so clearly online #i seriously might die i mean it oh my god #ok so basically it's liek . i. it's like. so um it's kinda. um y'see it's like $ÜTE^@W6CwguE(^IA8B^*O]ÝkùREQQ@&oÑRHMT*@^!$!Ùõp2RTÛø/.#THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I COULD PASS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I ASSUMED IT WAS OK TO POST IT SORRY I JUST NEED EVERYBODY TO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY. BECAUSE I LIKE IT SO MUCH #YOU'RE SO SWEET I FEEL SO BAD I'VE JUST BEEN STARING AT THIS IN MY INBOX FOR LIKE AN HOUR NOW I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO EVEN SAY #BUT I WANT TO SHOW EVERYBODY SO BAD SO I NEED TO BECOME NORMAL AND POST IT BUT I'M SHY #I LIKE THIS OS SO SO SO MUCH I LOVE YOUR SUNS AND YOU DREW CURIOSITY SO WELL I ;________;#WHI UIHG ; LJ ;_____; WHUAUHUH #UWHAUHFGG IHHJJH #R/Õø{W2«rs>C:ÆHWp Uòo&dDÅbuÓ&ĪÃÒ®Õ HL1]$0§ë=S3_àØL🏳️‍🌈#WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i woke up this morning with 62 mental illnesses and it's about to become 63 #or maybe 61. maybe it's going down. yeah that sounds right #oh my god. my wife #suns #rw #for me #!?!?!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH . AGAIN. I MEAN IT I'M GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOREVER #FAV #;____;#oh my god sorry i need to be brave and post this and then immediately go run around my room and start chewing things. bye

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asgardian--angels · 1 year ago

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...prayer circle for izzy hands

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #i'm actually getting nervous for jenkins et al for tomorrow bc if they do kill off izzy i fear there will be a riot lmao #i'm so on the fence #because part of me is like 'djenks would never do that - he loves izzy's character and no one perma-dies on this show'#and narratively it would be strange (though not completely out of the realm of possibility) for him to die after this whole arc #and surely the whole team is aware that folks would be furious #(me personally i'm down with whatever happens so long as it fits the story but i know a lot of folks would be legit upset)#but i cannot shake those images from the bts of person-who's-definitely-con lying on the deck as ed puts a coat over him #and then the funeral and grave on the beach #THAT ALL BEING SAID i'm holding onto that one reviewer on twitter who saw the finale already #and said they have as much faith if not more in jenkins and co after the finale #i do find it hard to believe they'd really sacrifice izzy like that #even though i can imagine at least one scenario that would make it plausible but it would still be kinda shitty #I just... mmmm.....i really dont know how this will go #and im afraid to be around fandom when or if it does lol #ultimately my greatest fear is that if they do kill him or another beloved character off it affects our renewal chances #like no matter what happens yall gotta campaign hard

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moe-broey · 11 hours ago

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Idk if I'm gonna be able to articulate this on the fly like first thing in the morning, but. I think my ENTIRE body of work is This: Examining how family ties, bonds or lack thereof, the good and bad AND ugly, seep into every facet of who we are and how we come to interact with others. How sometimes, a family tie (or again, a Lack of one), will sometimes bleed into how you act and treat specific people. Will bleed into how you CONNECT with those people (or, will be the very reason you fail to do so).

HOWEVER. HOWEVER. THERE IS A DELICATE LINE. A BALANCING ACT. You CANNOT just simply attribute fanon flavored ideas of found family to such characters. That's too simple, and sometimes, is a complete disservice to the specific character you're working with. I am once again bringing up Chilchuck. YES, him being a dad Absolutely seeps into how he treats his party. But if you call him the party's dad, you're Insane. Do you know ANYTHING ABOUT THAT MAN???? He would prefer you didn't. But I digress. He strikes a fascinating balance, between having The Qualities and ESPECIALLY expressing his care for his party in a Really Specific divorced (separated.) father of three fashion, but that does Not make him a "dad friend". He's a professional. He's on business. He's going home at the end of the day, and at the end of this adventure he's thinking of setting up a shop. I wanted to keep this more vague and broad but like. The Chilchuck example REALLY DOES perfectly articulate What I'm trying to get at, here. He's the perfect encapsulation of How his family shapes him, how that bleeds into his relationships with others, vs Who he is as a person.

How we were raised, our family ties, whether you adhere to it or you've fallen FAR from the tree -- you still fell from that stupid fucking tree. It's in your blood. Literally. It gave you shape, whether you liked it or not. And sometimes some things just set off weird domino effects, that also affect us irrevocably forever.

WHICH IS. TO SAY. I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. I'm always trying to figure that out. Found family is/can be real, you're not strictly bound by blood if you don't wanna be. BUT. The bullshit I'm constantly on, is trying to figure out how to balance all that without slotting everyone into reductive roles. I'm gay and I seek to destroy the nuclear family. Not attempt to recreate nuclear family 2.0. You CAN reconstruct What Family Is/Means from the ground up, but you have to accept that things are going to get Weird. Because you're Queer. You are fundamentally incompatible with the status quo and normalcy, the solution is NOT assimilation and palatability, the solution is to just. Get weirder. And be fluent in canon. Okay. I love you

#my notes #why am i becoming chilchuck's spokesperson. chilchuck defender.#well i can fucking tell you! it's because my dad is a divorced father of FIVE. with a drinking problem so bad #that if he didn't quit it would have killed him. and guess what! i can tell you a few things about alfonse.#the way alfonse strives to be just like gustav. idealizing him ect ect. and the way i just wanna grab him by the shoulders #and SHAKE HIM. SHAKE HIM. SHAKE HIM. snap him out of repeating the cycles by the power of friendship and gay sex #it SUCKS ASS TO SAY IT IN THE SAME BREATH. I HATE THIS AS MUCH AS YOU DO.#but if you (my own brother) are gonna end up Just Like Your Father could you at least go all the way. get divorced. for the love of god #get divorced. oh my god okay oversharing hour but the WAY. THE WAY. dad once told me #[my brother's now ex wife far as i know thank god it finally happened bu my god it took WAY too long]#but the way my dad told me once [my brother's ex wife] reminded him a bit of his second wife.#oh my god i didn't even tell you the famous dad lore. he's been divorced three times. he is THE EPIC DIVORCE MAN.#like when i look at chilchuck i go. i know this man personally. i live with him.#alfonse's case is. really. really way more complicated. like what i just said #truly is only the tip of the iceberg WHILE ALSO. SIMULTANEOUSLY. only being One Single Facet. to what he is to me.#BUT ALSO. CONSIDER. the Parallels i'm setting up between alfonse w gustav VS. moe and its mother.#okay i will not say more bc i'll talk forever. final piece i really want to throw out there is though #do you think anna's situation w her family business being The Basis of how she connects w others #do you think the WAY she and all the other annas were Raised is like. comparable to religion actually?#and ESP like. i don't know if there's any hard and fast rules or anything but she and all her sisters ARE.#PRESUMABLY. RAISED A V SPECIFIC WAY. to be highly competitive cut-throat merchants.#what does this mean for COMMANDER anna. one of (if not ONLY?) instance of an anna who fell outside of that.#also is it agab dependant? could you be amab and then later on become an anna if that's what #oh my god i'm thinking of that ratatouille post. accepting of your gender identity but NOT of your Life Choice to be a chef.#is it. exactly like that. and if you're afab and end up being trans do you just fall to the wayside?#like the point is NOT to inject transphobia in here. the point is to ask Okay HOW THE HELL DOES ANY OF THIS WORK???????#bc the Implications go INSANE. and also the point is to ask what is the funniest answer possible to any of the questions #I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN. AND BE INSANE.#like final clarification i only say religion bc that's what i'm familiar with (specifically christainity)#but maybe it's more apt -- a different flavor of traditional family culture that has strict gender roles.

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silverselfshippingchaos · 12 days ago

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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..

#ash rambles 💚#negative #part of it is definitely the weather #it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed #but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today #im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up #and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see #me as more than a friend and other stuff like that #i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and #i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that #if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore #what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked #to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s #just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me #being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO #I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot #and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as #though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and #i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA #holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always #bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles #(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if #I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later #i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..

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cats-in-the-clouds · 3 months ago

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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low

#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends #and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial #even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it #my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that #tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all #which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility #but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power #i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself #that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross #but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me #and even if they find me how do i not fumble it #my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice #which is usually true #i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones #i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am #one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me #but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me #like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance #so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert #it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others #even though i can’t help myself #what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me #i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already

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schmweed · 1 year ago

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Succession | S02E06

#Roman Roy #Gerri Kellman #Do you see the beautiful golden halo across the room from his right hand? That's her. His beacon.#The utter trust when he glances at her at the end of the first gif to see whether he should agree. And all she has to do #is give the minutest shake of her head and he's ready to go to war.#Roman who is unbelievably easily cowed by Logan finds the courage to argue ARGUE against Logan because she shook her head.#I mean right after she shakes her head he schools his expression to look like this was ABSOLUTELY his firm opinion DUH of COURSE.#The faith and trust is insane even though it's absolutely warranted. She IS Gerri Kellman after all. Still. Whoa.#The beautiful vulnerability in his fleeting glance at her in the third gif. Checking what she thinks of his performance.#Glancing at her to summon the courage to KEEP defending his opinion against Logan's. AGAINST Logan's!#It's a miracle that glaringly blindingly beautifully visible invisible thread didn't snap and slam them into each other's arms.#The smartest kid. The absolute smartest out of them all. The one with the most potential. It explains the bullshit comment in the finale.#Sigh. I love them so much. All of them. Every single person even the couple of characters I can't stand!#But Roman and Gerri... Sigh. No words. No words!#Succession #my gifs

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