#i *knew* before i watched a single episode that it was gonna wreck me

[cup-noodle]

that moment when you feel a hyperfixation coming on but it hasn't quite consumed you yet is the strangest thing. kinda like watching a train driving towards you in slow motion, nothing you can do about it except watch it slowly take over your brain and rip your productivity to shreds

[masterwords]

Hotchgan 9 please: …in public.

In public it is!

Here is a little 1.9k word trip through 8x23 - Brothers Hotchner/The Replicator ending in a public kiss. <3 Thank you for sending this in! (If anyone wants to send in a kiss prompt, they are here!)

Warnings: canon-typical/casefic stuff mentioned (strauss' death, bombing, drugs/alcohol, guns...if you've seen these episodes then you know.)

**** and your sparks ****

They’ve been back and forth on the logistics of it for months. The team knows, more or less. It isn’t a secret, they aren’t sneaking around anymore...but they’ve never seen it. The live show.

Them.

What they have seen is boring old business as usual. It’s hard for them, then, to know when it all started. If they find out something that shakes the very ground they all stand on and it doesn’t look any different than it did before they knew...how long have they been in the dark?

That thought was unsettling, probably, for most people but to a team of people whose only job was to study behavior it was downright insulting on top of it. Were any of them even any good at their jobs?

Once the initial shock wore off, once the “you’re pulling our legs” of it all ran its course, they realized that what they’d really witnessed was not the big bang but one long evolutionary crawl from a single celled organism in the sea to a walking, talking, sentient being.

They sort of stopped looking so closely after that.

From the moment they found out, they haven’t had any time to do anything but work. And at work, they were the same old them they always were. There were no stolen kisses, no secret hand on the thigh moments, no emotional outbursts or airing of dirty laundry. You’d never know they lived together, they didn’t even show up in the same car every day.

The first inkling of something that ran a little deeper than co-workers came in New York, during a case involving Aaron’s brother Sean. He’d been a wreck though you’d have to know him pretty well to see it. To a casual observer he looked cool as a cucumber, pensive but it seemed to come with the territory. The nature of this kind of case. The entire idea that his worlds were colliding again, that his family was involved in his work, had him rattled to the core though and he was doing everything in his power not to recuse himself from the case. It would be a first for anyone on their team. Maybe he was older, wiser...however, he didn’t bother to give in when those logical notions kicked in. His proximity to the case would help him solve it, not get in the way.

“Would you please sit in the van with me?” Aaron asked quietly, standing perhaps a little too close to Derek to just be colleagues. “I know I should probably ask someone else, but I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have watching my brother than you.”

“Of course, man,” Derek said with that solemn nod, that I was going to insist I do it anyway look already on his face.

Aaron could tell what he was thinking. “You don’t think I should be in there.”

“I don’t, not even a little, but I’m not gonna stop you. That’s your brother, I get it. I’d be right there if it was one of my sisters...’course, my sisters aren’t dumbasses like Sean…” That last bit was said with a smirk, a quiet little ribbing to try and lighten the dour mood some. It almost worked.

It wasn’t as if Aaron was behaving in a way he wouldn’t normally, he would always have asked Derek. When it came to field work, to the real dangerous stuff, to using the big weapons and serious tactical force it had always been the two of them. So even in that sense, this made sense, but Rossi and JJ shared a glance when Derek texted and said they’d be in the van so they were going dark for a bit. That shared glance was amusement with an air of superiority.

“Think they’re gonna make out?” JJ asked in a hushed whisper to try and lighten the mood. Rossi couldn’t help laughing.

Derek did give Aaron a kiss on the temple once they were on their own, before he said to let him make the call when things went sour. Not if, when. Aaron couldn’t argue. He knew Derek would make the call and he’d do it fast. Sean might be a dumbass, but he was also one of Derek’s favorite people. They both probably should have let someone else be in charge here.

The second time in as many days that offered the team a little glimpse into their secret lives came back at the BAU, when Rossi pulled his gun on Derek. Aaron had been on the phone with the Director, a very intense, very serious phone call that Aaron briefly thought would end with him being canned. He’d already started thinking about how many boxes it would take to clear out his office. He’d let his Section Chief die on his watch, on his case, what could be worse? He could still smell her on his skin, her shampoo or perfume lightly floral and musky at the same time. And through the phone call, putting up his shields to block out the carefully venomous words of his superior, he heard a sound that froze the blood in his veins.

Derek, just a few steps away in Rossi’s office, sounded scared. His voice had ticked up an octave, his words had quickened, he was genuinely afraid and that struck fear like a dagger in Aaron’s chest. “Excuse me, sir,” he said and without actually saying goodbye, he hung up his phone and shoved it into his pocket. Possibly career suicide but it didn’t make any difference.

If Dave hadn’t been drugged he would have seen it, seen the way Aaron put his body in front of Derek, ready to take the bullet if it came down to it. He would have known it when Aaron reached out and disarmed him, still standing there in a way that shielded Derek from harm.

No one else was in the room, but the team afterward could feel the tension. Could tell how shaken they both were. The furtive glances.

And then Aaron’s helicopter crash landed and Derek thought he might actually lose his entire fucking mind at their string of shitty luck. He had to admit, Aaron did look a little adorable with his hair all mussed up, the dazed look in his eye that said he was okay and didn’t entirely remember what had happened. It didn’t take him long to figure it out, to charge ahead again like it never happened. The rest of the week was filled with aching joints and headaches, sleepless nights as he began pulling double duty (triple, perhaps) at work.

Derek didn’t see him much after the explosion. He and Jessica were juggling Jack’s school pick-ups and obligations, his sports, his homework. Aaron was...working himself to death. He didn’t leave his desk for seven hours straight one day, he’d begun timing it just to see. Tying up Strauss’ loose ends, picking up the projects she’d been in the middle of, introducing himself to her other teams, making his presence known. It was a temporary assignment...probably. They hadn’t offered him anything yet but the expectations were piled on him anyway.

So it really wasn’t any surprise that they ended up where they did at Rossi’s party after Strauss’ funeral. Showing up separately, Aaron coming directly from work while Derek had come from home. Promising Jessica that he was going to make Aaron leave his car at Rossi’s and bring him home for the first night that week to sleep in his own bed. To take a shower in his home and not in the gym at work. To eat real food. To relax, even for just a few hours.

They seated themselves on opposite sides of the table, as if that could somehow erase the electricity crackling like a storm between them. They had tried to play it cool, knowing for sure in the days that followed that stretch of bad luck (which neither of them believed in) had helped cool their jets a little. But not enough.

Maybe it was talking about Strauss, maybe not. Maybe it was apropos of nothing. It kind of always had been. They didn’t need a situation to charge them up, they lived that way, right on the brink.

“Who wants more wine?” Derek asked, raising his empty glass abruptly, waiting for the briefest lull in conversation. He was met with a sea of empty glasses raised into the air, the one exception being Aaron’s which was still more than half full. He was thinking about his brother, about the ecstasy tainted wine, about the glass of scotch that broke on the floor when Foyet drove him to the ground. He didn’t drink much anymore, and when he did it was rarely a comfortable experience. The astringent smell of alcohol set him on edge unless the circumstances were exactly right.

“I’ll help you,” Aaron offered quietly, standing to follow Derek back into the house. “You’ll need more hands.”

JJ winked at Rossi, another silent moment of inappropriate humor batted between them. More hands...where? She mouthed and Rossi chuckled and shrugged.

Halfway across the dark yard, just as they skirted the edge of the pool, Aaron reached out and hooked Derek’s hand. The sudden shock of cold fingers in his stopped Derek in his tracks and he whirled around, almost like he was shocked to find Aaron so close.

“Slow down,” Aaron said, tugging him. Closing the gap. He hadn’t been this close to Derek in almost a week and the smell of him was intoxicating. He craved more. His body responded instantly to the proximity, the scent, the hungry look in Derek’s eye. If Derek asked him to leave right now he would without a backward glance. He held a woman in his arms as she died, he stood in front of a loaded gun, he was knocked out in a helicopter crash. He sent his brother to jail. It was all weighing on him and he found he had little control of his body. Exhausted and turned on, he just stared across at the other man waiting for the words to make themselves known. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“What’s up?” Derek asked, a trickle of dread in his low voice. Aaron smiled and shook his head.

“Nothing,” he said quietly, leaning forward, deciding words weren’t what he was looking for. He wanted something physical. Kissing Derek was where it started, all he wanted. He draped his arms over Derek’s shoulders, hugging around his neck, shielding their faces from the team of onlookers. He had almost an inch on Derek and it came in handy in situations like this.

JJ noticed it first and cleared her throat, getting Penelope’s attention. She elbowed Reid who nudged Blake who nodded her head at Rossi. A silent game of telephone, but they all arrived at their destination in tact. Derek and Aaron were kissing right there, like they had the place to themselves.

And they all found that it didn’t seem nearly as shocking as any of them had imagined. They could see it now and it seemed suddenly to make perfect sense.

“Hey! There’s a guest room upstairs for that kind of tomfoolery!”

“We were promised more wine!”

“Yeah! WHERE’S THE WINE!”

Derek lifted one hand from where they’d been curved around Aaron’s hips and flipped off the table as a whole. Aaron smiled into the kiss and tried to hide the burn of the flush rising in his neck by shifting his arms, raising his shoulder a little. Derek thought for sure that Aaron would break away, would move a little too fast toward the kitchen to get another bottle or two of wine, but he didn’t. He just stayed planted where he was, and eventually the team lost interest and went back to their conversations.

[kdramacrybaby]

Okay so I’m gonna do something a lil different and talk about another show. I’ve put my dramas on hold for a moment to watch the new live adaption of Avatar, and I just wanna take a moment to give my thoughts.

The animated version will always be infinitely better than anything they could have ever created - but we already knew that. So I didn’t go into this expecting it to be able to live up to that.

And I think that’s where a lot of people may end up hating it before even giving it a proper chance. They decide ahead of time that any change is a bad one - but at this point, I think even with no changes, a lot of people would hate it. That’s what happens with adaptations of beloved stories.

I do have some comments that I’ll touch on in a moment, but overall I do want to say that I actually liked it. It’s definitely very pretty to look at, and I think it managed to do what they wanted with what they had.

Sure, the dialogue is a little… rough at times. And since a lot of actors are on the younger side, the acting is what you could expect (though I do think they all did a good job).

They change around with the timelines and fit some episodes together that were normally not a single story, but it mostly made sense, and that is usually a thing you see in adaptations to make it work for the new type of media.

The thing that probably annoyed me the most, is how fast paced it already is. Things seems to be happening at a lightning speed, and I have a hard time getting fully into the story cause it feels like they never let you dwell on the emotions they try to create.

With the animated version, it felt like a journey. You followed the team as they travelled around, and it felt organic how they came upon all the different plots. We see them train and have fun. And then as we get closer and closer to the comet, we as the viewers start to feel the urgency as well.

Here, it feels like we are constantly pushed to the next and then the next, without giving us time to stop and breathe.

I get that they had a lot of material to fit in, and it’s not an easy job… but why not then make it 10 or 12 episodes instead? Spend the time and money to get it better paced out.

So, yes, I do like this show for what it is - it does not deserve all the hate it gets (and certainly does not deserve to be called worse than the movie because that is definitely not true at all that movie was a train wreck).

But when I want to watch Avatar in the future, I will choose the animated version 100% of the times. You cannot improve on perfection.

[matan4il]

I am very much like you. I manage and keep my expectations very low for my ships. Like the cell block episode, I was one of the few who was like let's not get ahead of ourselves. And I was grateful because it was a great episode and lead to great things but had I wrote a different story in my head I would have been disappointed

So that's why I hate that all this us making me excited. The promo, the using of Ryan and Oliver. Even 2 weeks ago the nervous Buck arriving at Hens.

I actually feel comfortable getting in my head and I kind of hate it because I don't want it to be underwhelming.

I guess I was wondering where you were at head space wise after all this? Feeling very confident? Because I was honestly thinking if they went Canon in 6 it would be the end of the season and now I feel like shit could it really be the hiatus.

HI lovely Nonnie!

First of all, I hope it's okay to send you a hug! I get that feeling of being torn between like that initial buzz of excitement that things might be moving in that direction on the one hand, and the desire not to be set up for disappointment.

I have to say, I've seen the fandom getting SO excited and sure that canon Buddie was going to happen after 303 and Eddie's "there's nobody I trust in this world with my son more than you," after 309 with the kitchen flirting (that one had especially nasty fallout when 310 came and went without any canon Buddie), ahead of s4 when people started speculating Buddie spent covid as roommates, after the shooting in 413 and ahead of s5, around 506 as we started learning details about Buddie being held together at gun point after the shooting arc, around 517 when we gathered that Eddie was going home and he was going to confront Ramon and a lot of people thought it would be revealed that Eddie was punished by his dad for being gay. I also tried to assess the likelihood of this, because it was implied we'll learn about some unknown until now trauma, and I was wrecking my brain to find something that would fit Eddie, that would fit the tone of the show (i.e not too dark) and that wouldn't just be more of the same stuff we already know. Turned out, it was more of the same toxic masculinity stuff we knew about.

The thing is, it would have made sense for Buddie to go canon at any one of those points. It would have made sense to unveil some teenage experience that made Eddie suppress any same-sex attractions he might have only started becoming aware of. And yet none of that happened, so I'm glad that I did manage my expectations, and kept reminding myself that just because it's fun to scream now, doesn't mean I won't be disappointed later.

Obviously, I would rather not be disappointed during actually watching the eps. So, if I'm not married to a specific scenario I built up in my head, I end up being much more content while watching. And of course, as I said here, I do wanna feel happy about the show even if Buddie will never become canon. But more than that, I do wanna believe that eventually we will get canon Buddie. Because nothing else will ever fit either one of those guys, and because I wanna believe in our show being brave enough to go there.

So if and when we do get canon Buddie, I know that celebrating it, screaming and jumping up and down, and just basically losing my goddamn mind would be that much better, precisely because it's not something I'm doing constantly, every time there's a shadow of a possibility that it'll happen soon. I'm reserving all that for when it's the real thing, and that's gonna make how hyped I will be when it finally happens special and that much sweeter.

So am I seeing signs that might mean Buddie could go canon in s6? There are some. IDK that I would say they're definitive. We've had both Buck and Eddie be single at the same time with both of them getting out of meaningful relationships before. Ryan and Oli doing an interview together is awesome, but it's one interview that we know about so far, right? Not more than that. So maybe it's meaningful, or maybe it's Fox feeling 911 needs to do more promoting for its ratings, and why not send in the most popular pair on the show? Based on experience from previous fandoms, I don't put much stock into social media stuff. It's why I wasn't that distressed when Ryan and Oliver unfollowed each other, and it's also why, while I'm glad they've re-followed each other, I wouldn't try to read too much into it. Much like the interview, it could be very meaningful, but it might be about something we're not even aware of and that has nothing to do with Buddie going canon.

So I'm very much in my cool, calm and collected element, which IMO is a good thing. It's not me being Debbie Downer. It's me saving the celebrations for when 911 takes us all out like a freaking sniper in the middle of a shooting arc. Too soon? ;) Sorry, my sense of humor is lame. But I hope that in spite of me not being hyped, this reply isn't a disappointing one to you, darling! xoxox

(If you’re looking for my ask replies, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

[kirinda-ondo]

You know him, you either love or hate him (or are moderately confused by my sudden dive into this hyperfixation); we're talking about Orko because I have a lot of feelings.

As a disclaimer, I am not gonna claim to be some kind of superfan. I am not aware of every single iteration of the lore and all of its secrets. I don't know anything about the DC comics. I'm only halfway through the 2002 series as of me writing this. I am not someone you want to have discussions on the wider Masters of the Universe.... universe with. However, after watching Revelation, the entire Filmation He-Man (and some of She-Ra, cause he was there too), and going on a deep dive of storybooks, annuals, and minicomics courtesy of He-Man.org and the lovely people who submitted their scans there, I do feel pretty qualified to at least talk about Orko.

So, with all that being said, I'd like to get into a little bit of backstory, if only for my followers who came to this blog for completely different things and are wondering where the hell my love for this funky little wizard dude came from all of a sudden. Truth is, Orko is actually one of my earliest faves! Mind you, I only had limited access to Masters of the Universe as a kid, only seeing a couple of rented VHS tapes and later getting my hands on a small pile of the Golden Books from Goodwill, but apparently it was enough for Orko to  imprint himself into my brain. However, also due to my limited exposure, he kind of got shifted to the back of my head as I got deeper into other things. I still knew for a fact I liked Orko a lot though, even if I couldn't quite remember why anymore.

And then Masters of the Universe: Revelation dropped on Netflix. I'm not gonna get into my opinions of that show lest I open a flood of irrelevant discourse (for those uninitiated, it is a bit... divisive, to say the least). However my feelings on the matter did encourage me to go and watch the original and well, holy shit I love Orko more now than I could have ever comprehended as a kid. He is THE quintessential underappreciated comic relief character I tend to gravitate towards, and then some.

But before I get into that, let me back up a bit and explain. Orko is a Trollan, a race of magical little dudes that are basically floating sweaters with hats and covered up faces. Out of these Trollans, Orko is an incredibly fucking OP archmage. Like, they straight up call him Orko the Great, he's so powerful. But then, he gets caught in a freak storm that whisks him away from his home dimension and into Eternia. Immediately, he runs into a young Prince Adam, who is trapped in a swamp/tar pit and needs rescuing. Orko, being the upstanding lad that he is, uses his magic to save him but in the process loses the item that allows him to focus his magic to the swamp (in the 80s version, it's a medallion, but in the 2002 series, it's a wand). Worse yet, the magic (and dare I say the very laws of physics) in Eternia works pretty much the opposite as it does in Trolla, so he's been incredibly nerfed.

So basically, Orko is trapped in a topsy-turvy world away from friends and family, a world with magic he is fundamentally incompatible with. Ouch. He's not completely screwed, however, as he is rewarded by the king and queen for his heroism and appointed... the court jester. Double ouch. He surprisingly doesn't seem to mind though. He genuinely does enjoy entertaining people, even when his tricks only ever work like half the time because he's basically a Mac program trying to run on a Windows computer.

It's not all horrible though, as he does quite literally get adopted by the royal family  and thus sort of become the entire palace's weird son/little brother (despite being older than many of them. He's very, very child-coded largely for the purposes of being a stand-in and example lesson to the actual children watching). But also, more importantly, he becomes one of the very select few to know that Adam and He-Man are one and the same.

But outside of secret-keeping, he is actually a pretty valuable ally to have against Skeletor and his dudes because even though his magic is kind of screwed up, when it does work, he's still one of the most powerful mages on Eternia. In various materials, he's created floods, a second winter, and hell, he can literally explode himself and still be perfectly fine. He's also really clever and can weasel his way out of a number of situations. In one episode, for instance, he manages to convince someone that he's He-Man and Adam is his "assistant" in order to free him from captivity so the day has a better chance of actually being saved.  He's also got the ability to just be really frustrating and incomprehensible to the point that villains who capture him sometimes either don't want him or don't know what to do with him anymore, which is honestly really funny. In an episode of She-Ra, the villains tried to scan his brain but because the inner machinations of his mind are that much of an enigma, he got diagnosed a weirdo and broke the entire machine. Absolutely delightful.

However, there's a lot more to Orko than just comedy and bungled magic. He's actually surprisingly complex!

See, going into this, I expected Orko's whole situation be played entirely for laughs while the sadder implications of his existence go entirely unaddressed. Coming off the heels of characters like Cobalt and others I enjoy, I'm used to this sort of treatment by writers. But they actually don't do that. The depressing subtext is for once, actually TEXT, which was INCREDIBLY surprising to me. We actually get to see another side of him, a side that hates that he can't be taken seriously no matter what he does, a side that is well aware of all the trouble he causes and feels like a burden to those around him. He actually runs away on multiple occasions, fully believing that he's unloved and everyone would be better off without him, even if that couldn't be further from the truth (a point which the Sorceress hammers home with multiple straight up magical video presentations, and in the 2002 series, a literary adaptation, of why he is loved and important).

Underneath all the hyping himself up that he does, there's a lot of insecurity. He's someone who desperately wants to be loved and respected and feels that without funny magic tricks to entertain people, he has no inherent value (which is incredibly relatable if you are also known by people as The Funny One). At one point he agrees with the notion that he doesn't feel like much more than a pet, which is absolutely heartbreaking. Even when he gets the ability to go back and forth between Eternia and Trolla, his feelings of inadequacy now extend toward his family, worrying that his own uncle, the one who taught him everything he knows and greatly contributed to him being Orko the Great back home in the first place, wouldn't be proud of him. Being on Eternia highkey wrecked his shit, man.

However, even when given the opportunity to go back home for good, he always chooses to stay because he's loyal as hell. Even if he needs some reminders, he does know he's needed not just in the fight against evil, but just because his friends and newfound family genuinely love him. It's heartbreaking, but also incredibly wholesome. I did not even remotely expect a comic relief character like this to get this much depth and respect from the writers, especially not from the incredibly campy and cheaply animated 80s series. I am genuinely so unused to this.

But I think that's also what separates him a bit from his fellow Silly Kid Appeal Characters That Kids Fucking Hate ala Snarf Thundercats or Scrappy Doo. He not only makes a concerted effort to be an actually useful ally, but he's also in fact very self-aware of his status as one of these characters. He knows he screws up a lot but he actually tries to accept responsibility and fix it. It makes me wanna root for the lil dude. Now I understand if someone isn't a fan of the brand of humor he brings to the table, or feel like he's simply a distraction from the Cool Buff Dudes Fighting Each Other, but I hope you can see why he might also be a really appealing character to other people, both kids and adults alike. I mean, he was popular enough to be embedded into the canon despite originating from the cartoon and not the toyline for a reason, after all.

Orko is a fun, entertaining, but also complex, heartwarming, and relatable character. I know there is a faction of people that would disagree with me, but I don't think you need to change him all that much or make him a super serious character to be more appealing. He's already got a lot going on that a writer could easily work with. It all just depends on where you decide to focus. Take a lesson from the show and accept that he's fine just the way he is.

[hepaidattention]

hi I’m going to list off my favorite emotional scenes in Teen Wolf that made me stop and think “oh my god - I thought this was just a campy teen drama.” Don’t mind me. (Not in a particular order.)

1) When Stiles thinks he has the same type of dementia that his mom had, and him and Scott hug each other before he has his CAT scan, and he just sobs as he holds his best friend. That scene WRECKED me and I will never get over it. It, in my opinion, was the most emotional scene in the entire show because it wasn’t about anything supernatural or mystical. It was a real issue that people have to face every single day. 

2) In s3, again when Stiles is mentally fighting the nogitsune and hasn’t slept in weeks. He goes to Scott’s mom for help, because that’s who he has for a mother figure. He needs someone to take care of him and he knows she always will. He breaks down in front of her, terrified over what’s happening to him, and she makes him sleep with a sedative (in a loving, caring way). He calls her mom as he goes under, and that scene might never leave my heart. Ever.

3) When Aiden dies in his twin brother, Ethan’s, arms. The fact that his last thoughts were that he still was going to die as the villain, even though everyone knew he was redeemed as a hero. Ethan and Aiden were never my favorite characters, but his death was so immensely sad and it was too much for me. He was just a kid.

4) The entire episode of Motel California. Isaac literally having to relive his childhood trauma - like what the actual heck? And of course, the scene when Stiles not only tries to talk Scott out of suicide, but then tells him if he’s going to kill himself then Stiles is going to die with him. AND THEN HE STEPS INTO THE GASOLINE. I literally ... I can’t. The relationship between Stiles and Scott might be the most wholesome friendship in any show I’ve ever seen.

5) When the Sherriff refused to let Stiles admit himself into Eichen House and uses the excuse that Stiles needed his pillow because he couldn’t sleep without it. Then, as he’s near tears fighting his son, telling him he couldn’t live with himself if he left him there without his pillow because he wouldn’t ever sleep, Stiles just looks at him and says, “Dad, I haven’t slept in days.” I think Stiles and his dad are my second favorite relationship in that show. There’s nothing compared to their father/son bond. 

6) When no one will believe Lydia that Stiles is real in s6 and she breaks down outside of where his door should be. What hurts me the most from this was that Stiles ALWAYS believed in her. It didn’t matter if she had zero proof, he always believed her and always convinced everyone else to believe her. If no one went along with it, Stiles always did. But when he was gone, she had no one to believe her, and no one to help her find him. Lydia always went to Stiles when she needed his help, and in many scenes she’s at his door for his help. This scene killed me because it reflected how she needed him, she came to his door, but it wasn’t there anymore and the way she broke down against the wall made ME break down. 

7) When the Sherriff remembers Stiles in s6 and his wife has to “die” in order for him to fully remember. Just. That’s it. There’s no other words to say. It was a BEAUTIFUL scene and I... I can’t. 

8) In s3b when Stiles has the nightmare within a nightmare within a nightmare, and when he finally wakes up he’s screaming and panicking and his dad has to come in and hold him down like this wasn’t a new thing. That’s called PTSD guys, and it’s real. This scene killed me. 

9) s3b again, but when Stiles can’t read in class and runs out and has a panic attack in the bathroom. Scott follows him and Stiles is insisting that its a dream, and Scott has to talk him through that panic attack as well as showing him he’s really awake. The realness in this scene just... all of s3b had me crying tbh. 

10) When Stiles has a panic attack in s3a. I swear this show got so real sometimes. They dealt with panic attack's a lot in the show and I appreciated it so much because YES. Teenagers going through this crap WOULD have panic attacks. I mean heck I have panic attacks without my friends and family all almost dying on a regular basis. It was so so sad and it just broke my heart for him.

11) in s6, when Stiles is being erased and he runs to his dad. He goes to him terrified of what’s happening and he hugs him and is frantically explaining and his dad asks him what his name is. That scene hurts. Stiles not being remembered by his dad is crushing, and it really hit me that he was really being taken. Seeing the realization on Stiles’ face is heartbreaking. 

12) When Stiles is about to be taken in s6 and tells Lydia she’s going to forget him and she says “I won’t” and he just says, “Lydia, you will,” but she still refuses to believe it. Then once he’s taken, she sits there and says “remember, remember” and the next scene Scott and Malia ask her what she’s forgetting and she says she can’t remember. 

13) When Lydia walks to and waits by Stiles locker in s6a after he’s been taken, and she doesn’t know who’s she’s waiting for, she just knows she’s supposed to meet someone there.

14) When Lydia realizes/remembers she never once told Stiles she loved him.

15) When Lydia stays with Stiles even though she knows Allison is about to die, and then can sense her death and sobs as she lays on an unconscious Stiles for comfort. Lydia goes through hell in s3b and I don’t think we realize it enough. She not only was emotionally tied to Stiles and had to not only watch but feel the pain he was going through with the nogitsune, but she knew Allison was going to die and knew there was nothing she could do about it. 

16) s3a when Lydia can feel what’s happening to Stiles but she can’t do anything about it so she just cries and banshee screams in her car. 

17) When Isaac has a breakdown in Argent’s arms after Allison’s death.

18) The entire backstory of Isaac. Like. Guys he was so abused that poor boy deserved so much better. His goodbye made me mad - we got so attached to him and then he just left and never came back. 

19) in s5 when they save Lydia from Eichen House but they think she’s dead, and Stiles begs her to open her eyes. I literally hold my breath every time I watch that scene. The tears in Stiles’ eyes, his broken expression, Scott and Deaton looking at Stiles like they don’t know how to handle Stiles if she’s dead, it’s... it’s so much emotion. And the relief on everyone’s face when she finally breathes. Just... damn. 

20) The entirety of Stiles dealing with the death of Donovan. I can hardly get through s5 because I can’t stand to watch the pain Stiles go through the entire season. He is emotionally tortured the whole time, and it’s not like is s3 when its a supernatural force - it’s his own darkness being used against him. He almost loses his dad, he almost loses Lydia countless of times, Scott (his BEST FRIEND, the guy he calls BROTHER) loses trust in him, and he has to live with the death of Donovan on his conscience with literally no support. Stiles was always, like Lydia, right about just about everything. Yet, no one ever picked his side - which left him having to fight his demons, AGAIN, alone. 

I’m gonna leave it there at 20. However, I could go on for hours. This show man - how is it one of the campiest, yet funniest, yet most emotional shows I’ve watched in a really long time? 

[cagestark]

The Rest it Kills

About this: ballerina!peter and mobster!tony. Starker. Physical and emotional between established quentin beck/peter parker. 

THIS IS UNFINISHED. Anyone is welcome to continue it. 

-

“FRIDAY, baby? Do you have the shot?”

-

It’s a celebration, which does nothing to explain why the room gets quiet as soon as Tony enters it. Around the table are four of his best and brightest, the handful of underlings that were instrumental in helping Tony execute his vision of how to repay Adrian Toomes for encroaching upon his weapons market. For a job well done, he’d invited them up to the penthouse to have at his expensive collection of spirits. 

He’d left them alone for only a half hour to make a few calls, but now upon his return they were shifty eyed and babbling about something inconsequential, a sure sign that they had hastily changed the subject. 

“Alright,” Tony says, pouring himself a glass of scotch. “Out with it. I’m a paranoid bastard at best. At worst?—well. Ask Toomes.” 

“It’s nothing bad, Tony,” Rogers says. If the fact that Rogers hadn’t told a lie his entire life didn’t put Tony at ease, then his clear eyes and voice did. Rogers was his number two, and they got on thick as thieves. He’s about as likely to lie to Tony as the sun is not to rise.

“Then I’m not angry,” Tony says, taking the empty seat. “But now I’m curious. Which is worse?” 

“Angry,” Wilson says in that deadpan way that Tony just adores. 

“Come on, don’t leave me in suspense,” Tony says, finishing his scotch with a single gulp. He pours himself another. 

It’s Romanov who—doesn’t break, per say. Tony isn’t convinced that there’s anything that could break Natasha, though if they were on opposite sides, he might have a few places he’d be willing to start. She must weigh the pros and cons and decide that letting Tony in on their little secret is the best move. Whether it’s best for her, for them, or for someone else, Tony can’t say. 

She shifts and pulls out a piece of paper folded in half and tosses it across the table. Barnes and Rogers groan. 

“Nat, you rat,” Barnes says. 

“Wow,” she says, eyes glittering. “That rhymed, Bucky. It was beautiful.” 

“What the fuck is this?” Tony wonders out loud as he unfolds the paper. It turns out to be nothing extraordinary. It’s a program for the New York City Ballet. The ballet is something new by Ratmansky, with principal dancers MAXIMOFF/PARKER. “Ballet? Taking up a new hobby, Barnes?” 

“I thought I’d look great in the tights,” is all Barnes says. A deflection if Tony’s ever heard one. 

“Their boy toy is the lead,” Romanov admits (to fresh groaning from around the table). 

Tony’s eyebrows raise. “Boy toy? All three of you?” 

“We are in the process of wooing him, so to speak,” Wilson admits, taking a swig from the bottle in front of him. “Barnes and Rogers might be willing to tag team him, but I want him all for myself.” 

Rogers’s eyes flash, cold steel in the overhead lights. “Watch the way you’re talking about Peter. He’s not a piece of meat to be shared.” 

“This is a goddamn episode of the Bachelor,” Tony laughs. “Which one is Peter: Maximoff or Parker?” 

“Parker,” all four chime together. 

“I feel like a father whose kids are going out on their first date. Are you buying him flowers? Are you opening the car door for him? Are you being safe?” Tony jests. He leans back in his chair feeling the warm thrum of the scotch in his stomach, glancing from one besotted man to the next.

“All that and more,” Barnes says. Then, with more than a little bitterness: “It’s the way he deserves to be treated.” 

Tony lifts his brows. Natasha slides him the deck of cards so that he can shuffle. He’ll lose, especially once he’s as drunk as he hopes to be, but there’s no amount of money he could lose to them that wouldn’t amount to pocket change in his book. Consider it their bonus. As he deals, he asks, “Trouble in paradise?”

“You could say that,” Wilson mutters. “He’s not exactly on the market.”

“Never took you for a homewrecker, Rogers. Barnes maybe—“

“Hardly a home to wreck,” Barnes admits. “Not a happy one, at least. Pete’s boyfriend is a perverted, abusive low life.”

Tony goes stiff. The buzzing in his gut transfers to his brain, raw as the sizzle of electricity. In his mind, he sees himself as a young boy sitting cross-legged by the vanity in his mother’s room watching her apply creams and powders to disguise Howard’s abuse. All the heinous crimes Tony commits, that one is not among them. He doesn’t prey on the weak. It’s the only promise to his mother that he’s never broken. 

“So, take care of him,” Tony says lowly. “Do you or do you not have certain skills and the balls to use them? You could kill this boyfriend and have it look like a hundred different accidents. What’s the problem here? Do you need daddy’s permission or something? Well, here, I’m giving it.”

Rogers scowls darkly at his hand. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Wouldn’t I? Regale me, then! Because it sounds to me like I’m sitting around the table with a bunch of pussies.”

“Peter asked us not to,” Barnes says. 

Tony blinks. “Is—is that it? Good God. Definitely a bunch of pussies. Kill the bastard anyway. If you can’t stomach it; if you don’t want your boy toy mad at you, give me a name and I’ll do it. It can be done before we’re four rounds into poker, for fuck’s sake.”

“It’s not like we don’t have the stomach for it,” Wilson says. He’s the newest of their crew, but Tony appreciates his fearlessness, the open, unabashed expression he gives Tony when calling him out on perceived bullshit. “It’s about respect, man. We respect Peter’s wishes, and he trusts us because of it.”

The form of respect Tony is most acquainted with is fear. This softness he sees in his men right now translates to nothing short of weakness. Tony has never lived in a fairytale: the world is hard, and it makes hard people. 

The rest, it kills. 

“It’s complicated,” Rogers says to soothe Tony’s hackles. “If you knew the kid, you’d understand I think.”

“Now you’ve gone and done it,” Barnes mutters. There’s movement underneath the table: one person kicking another, everyone jolting to get their legs out of the way. Barnes looks like he’s sucked on a lemon, or taken a shot of Nat’s imported whiskey. “Now he’s gonna go see Pete for himself and none of us will have a chance.” 

-

As it is, Tony doesn’t have to lift a finger to meet Peter because Peter comes to him. 

-

Tony knows the benefit of giving his men a nice long leash. 

He doesn’t have to. With them living in the Tower, it’s within his rights to keep surveillance on all of them; except he knows that distrust breeds distrust. Wilson, Romanov, Rogers, and Barnes have earned his trust. For that reason alone, he removed the wiretaps and cameras in their rooms upon their arrivals. 

But it’s still his home, and he watches it. Closely. Tony has just poured his third glass of scotch when FRIDAY alerts him that there’s an unauthorized presence in the Tower.

“Unescorted?” Tony asks. His blood thrums—this is the most exciting thing to happen all day. 

“Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes are the ones who granted him entrance using Mr. Roger’s passcode, and they appear to be returning to Mr. Rogers apartment, judging by the floor number selected in the private elevator.” 

Tony rolls his eyes, relaxing back in his chair. “A fuck, baby?” 

Tony has asked them not to entertain guests at the Tower without his authorization, but Tony was young once. He knew the thrill of breaking rules, how good forbidden, casual sex could feel. He wouldn’t put it past Rogers and Barnes to have grown bored, considering they’ve been dicking each other down since they were teens. Just thinking about twenty years of monogamy has his cock shriveling. If they’re just bringing home someone to bend between them and spitroast, Tony’s not going to bother abandoning his scotch. 

“Judging by the young man’s level of inebriation, I would hope not.” 

Groaning, Tony sets his scotch aside. He gives it a mournful glance while he steps into a pair of jeans and straps up. “I’m coming back for you, baby,” he whispers. “Wait for me. Take no other lover. Fuck, I hate wasting my humor on an empty room.” 

“I’m here, boss,” FRI offers. 

Tony rolls his eyes.

-

When he knocks on Steve’s (Steve and Bucky’s apartment, considering how much time Bucky spends there) at fifteen minutes ‘til midnight on a Thursday, he would usually expect a bleary-eyed blonde to crack the door open, a dark apartment the backdrop behind him. Instead, the door opens and light floods out into the hallway. Steve is dressed in his pajamas, that is to say that he’s wearing only a pair of pajama pants that cling to his hipbones for dear fucking life. 

“FRI said there’s someone in my building and they’re drunker than I am. Don’t you know that’s a crime?” Tony asks, leaning against the doorframe. The cock of his hip emphasizes where his gun rests, but Steve’s eyes don’t even flicker to it. 

Nonplussed, Steve just steps aside to give Tony room to enter. 

Slumped on the sofa, bundled underneath a large blanket is a young man. Handsome, his face is a testament to masculinity: cut jaw, straight nose, flat brows and thin lips. The only hint of estrogen is the clear, smooth skin that looks like he’s never grown facial hair in his life. Right away, Tony places his bets that he knows who this kid is.

Peter Parker is resplendent, large brown eyes that blink sluggishly, dragging all over Tony’s figure like his eyes can’t decide where to rest. Sitting up, the blanket falls away and reveals his naked chest which Tony eyes with appreciation. He has the optimal figure for a ballerino, obvious strength that is lean and not bulky. 

One of the thin lips is split, bruise blooming like the most tender flower beside his mouth. The wound opens when the kid’s mouth falls open. 

“Ohmygod,” he slurs, elbows shaking from lack of strength. He collapses back onto the comfortable couch. “Tony Stark is here.”

Were he not so sobered by the kid’s appearance, the bruises and blood and the red-rimmed eyes and raw mouth, he might be charmed. Bucky appears dressed no more than Steve and Tony, a glass of water in his hand. He helps Peter sit up and coaxes him to drink from the glass. Every other sip, Peter gets distracted, gaping from naked chest to naked chest. At one point, he falls asleep propped up on Bucky’s shoulder. 

“He’s not drunk,” Tony says, standing back with Steve while they watch Bucky try to coax the kid into consciousness. “Drugged?” 

Steve hums. A muscle in his jaw jumps from how he’s grinding it. “It’s not the first time. Beck and Peter have different tastes in the bedroom. Peter has mentioned before that sometimes after their date nights, he wakes up sore.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. And you haven’t killed this guy, yet?” 

Steve looks downright tortured. He does it well; Tony’s always thought of him as a bit of a melodramatic. “Peter would never see us again if we did. We have to decide between being around to support and protect him or not being around at all.” 

“If Beck was dead,” Tony says coldly. “There’d be nothing to protect him from.” 

“James,” Peter groans, losing and finding purpose again during the middle of the word. “Tony Stark is here!” 

“In the flesh, kid,” Tony says, stepping forward. Peter’s eyes trace down Tony’s chest, tracing the matting of scars over his sternum before dipping over his abs (nowhere near as pronounced as Barnes or Rogers’s, but Tony does alright). The kid licks his lips. He can’t help but preen a little, winking at Bucky who is rolling his eyes. “

The curiosity has been planted like a seed deep inside Tony’s mind. It sprouts, soaking up thoughts until it’s the only thing he can think about, Peter Parker, principal dancer, owner of three of his best-men’s hearts. 

It leads Tony here, to the best seats money can’t even buy at the Lincoln Center in Manhattan, dressed in his best tuxedo, dark eyes focused on the curtain that glows gold. His heart pounds when it withdraws on a dark, empty stage, though he hardly knows why. 

By the end, he has a better idea. 

There’s no hiding a single sharp line or sensual curve in the outfits they wear onstage, the pale tights and leotards. There is nothing soft about him save for his curls, but still he leaps and lands silent on his canvas-clad feet. The dance is obviously based around Maximoff’s character with Peter there as her supporting love interest, but even when the red-head bewitches the audience with her fouettés, Tony can’t take his eyes off of Peter’s figure, bowed at the edge of the stage and watching her with the sweetest supplication. When it is time for his own variation, he leaps and bows with a boneless grace that does more than take Tony’s breath away. It makes him hard. It makes him think about those long, strong legs wrapped around his waist while he gives the boy his cock. It makes him think about peeling those tights off and wrapping them around the dainty, pale wrists. It’s a good thing no one can see his erection behind the wall of his box seat when they all stand to give their ovation. 

Peter bows and flushes, hand in hand with Maximoff before standing behind her sweetly while the entire place howls for her. 

Tony thinks that maybe he’s starting to understand. 

-

No one bothers him where he leans against the wall beside Peter’s dressing room door. Whether it is his reputation or his thunderous expression, he knows not, but he’s grateful for the lack of distractions while he eavesdrops on the conversation taking place inside the dressing room between Peter and a man Peter calls Quent. 

—work harder in the gym. Have you been tracking your calories on the app we downloaded together? 

Yes, Quent, Peter mumbles, barely audible through the walls. 

All of them? 

I said yes.

Don’t get defensive, babe. I had three different audience members come to talk to me about your figure tonight. It pisses me off too! If you’re ready to leave the industry—

You know I’m not.

Quentin sighs, the long-suffering sigh of an argument that has been often visited. I know. This is your dream. Poor baby. It must be so tough, loving a job that hurts you so much. But I’m so proud of you for pushing through, Peter, you know that, right? I just wish you were a little more grateful to me for trying to keep you on the right track. You treat me like the bad guy.

Peter doesn’t respond. 

Is there anything you need before I go? How’s your back feeling? Your lifts looked a little strained towards the end.

Feels okay. I’ve got everything I need back at my apartment. I’ll go home and put my feet up. 

You deserve it. Just don’t forget to use that app okay? There’s a rustle, a struggle, maybe Peter trying to pull away. But Tony’s always had an overactive imagination. Hey. Don’t be like that. I love you. 

You too.

Peter. Say it right. 

Tony slips away from the door before Quentin can come out. From his place around the corner, Tony still has decent vantage to put eyes on this man for himself. Average height, average weight. Fit enough—for a civilian. Tony’s hands positively ache for a gun. Though he’s carrying, he’s no fool. Now isn’t the time, nor the place.

Once he’s sure the man is gone and not returning, Tony makes his way back to the door. It’s time to meet this young talent from Queens (yeah, Tony read the brochure) for himself. But when Tony goes to lift his hand to knock, the door swings open.

Peter blinks in surprise. He’s dressed in gray leggings that look soft as cashmere, a NYDC hoodie on, sneakers on his feet. Spilling from the sneakers’ tops are black fuzzy socks, meant to keep his toes warm from the cold New York weather. 

He’s limping. 

And gaping. It never gets old, seeing the way his reputation precedes him. He loves the way the crowds part for him on the street, loves the way waiters and waitresses stammer and struggle to serve him, the way eyes grow wide like Tony is a god in the flesh. 

Tony extends a hand. “I’m Tony Stark. It’s a pleasure to meet you; you’re a very talented dancer.” 

“Hi,” Peter breathes, taking Tony’s hand. Tony grips gently, feeling like he’s liable to break bones, the kid’s so fucking delicate. And cold. But Tony knows the saying: cold hands, warm heart. He wonders what that makes him. Peter works to regain himself, saying, “Trust me, I know who you are. It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you—they didn’t tell me that anyone important was going to be in the audience.” 

“They who?” Tony asks. “Your managers, or my men?” 

Peter swallows, face draining of blood. As much as Tony likes these games, they aren’t as enjoyable when the worm on his hook is as pretty and polite as Peter is. He puts on his most charming (softest) smile and makes sure to ask, gesturing to the messy dressing room behind him, may I come in?

Nodding, Peter opens the door wider. They both ignore how he was clearly on his way out, a backpack in his hands. He sits it down carefully by the vanity where he applied his stage makeup and seats himself on the chair, nudging his shoes off. When he stretches the arches of his feet, he winces. Tony gives him a moment to settle, stepping around the tiny room and taking in the smells and sights. On one wall is a picture of Peter and Quentin, arms around each other, beaming. 

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asks, voice quiet. Tony glances over at him. “Are your—men in trouble?” 

“No,” Tony admits. “If they were, I certainly wouldn’t be here watching ballet; I’d be...busy.” 

Peter sags in relief. The way his shoulders hunch throw his collar bones into sharp prominence where they peek out from the neck of his sweatshirt. “Oh thank God. They’re so nice, Mr. Stark, and I promise they don’t tell me anything about their—your work. James still insists that he works for some guy named Potts in New Jersey. Who’s Tony Stank, he asked me when I brought you up.” 

Tony lets his lips twitch. “James’s middle name is Buchanan. Some call him Bucky. Tell him I said: now we’re even.” 

Peter grins and it’s radiant. Tony feels an unsteadiness in his gut, like missing a step on the stairs or hearing a gunshot go off when he’s not been the one to pull the trigger. There’s just the gentlest stirring of jealousy when Peter mouths the name, Bucky, testing the way it tastes and wrinkling his nose in laughter. 

“I can’t wait to see the look on his face,” Peter says. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.” 

Now might be the time to offer to let the kid use his given name but—Tony’s kind of into it. A few more instances of Mr. Stark rolling off that polished tongue might have Tony hardening in his tux. “Take a picture for me,” Tony suggests, sitting down on the cozy loveseat that is opposite of Peter’s vanity. 

“You said—you enjoyed the show?” Peter asks, demure. The sleeves of his sweatshirt pass his wrists and most of his palms, turning his hands into adorable little sweater-paws. When he reaches up to bite at a nail, the sleeve slips down past his tiny wrist. Tony could surely wrap an entire hand around that wrist and have more to spare. 

“It was incredible,” Tony admits. “I don’t usually have the attention span to sit through longer shows, but I was hooked from curtain rise to curtain fall, kid.” 

Peter flushes, not so much in embarrassment as he does from the pleasure of being complimented. The flush of the drunk, though it seems Peter’s poison of choice is praise. Tony can’t help but want to spread him out on the sheets in his bedroom and say the sweetest, filthiest things to see if he can get the kid hard with just his voice. “I’m so glad. There hasn’t been as much press; new shows are always a little slow to take off. Wanda really is something special, though. She spent a season overseas and came back with so much more grace and growth—” 

“Did she do well tonight?” Tony asks, unbuttoning the top button on his jacket to reveal the trim waist and vest beneath. He realizes what he’s doing just as the words are coming out of his mouth. Tony is flirting with Peter, and his flirtation is a force of nature. “I barely noticed her. Couldn’t take my eyes off of you, kid. How the hell you manage to dance that way, I can’t fathom.” 

Now the flush hints at being flustered. He soaks in the way Peter’s face darkens, the way he hides behind one of his hands as the praise makes his posture go soft and waxy. His voice is remarkably even when he says, “Lots and lots of practice.” 

“Your hard work pays off. I was captivated. I could tell that my men were the same.” 

That topic sobers Peter, who sits up straighter. His pretty face twists, the question mark clear, the confusion too genuine for Tony to take it disrespectfully. On the contrary, Tony finds his forthrightness attractive when he asks, “Why did you come tonight, Mr. Stark?” 

“I came to see what it was about you that has my men so enthralled,” Tony admits. With the kind of power he has comes the freedom to be honest, even painfully, brutally  honest, because repercussions are either minimal or nonexistent. 

“Did you figure it out?” Peter asks. Tony can’t help but feel like the kid is asking him for the both of them: what is it so special about me? Yes, this boy is fragile. That can’t be overlooked. But inside of him there’s still a spark of spirit ready to alight at any moment, grateful for any tinder that it’s given. He’s not Maria Stark. Not yet. 

“Yes,” Tony says, standing. He rebuttons his jacket. “And I’d like very much to get to know you better, if you’re agreeable.” 

“Me?” Peter’s head cocks, squinting up at Tony like he’s trying to see through him, to see what is really being said. “Why?”

Tony is used to letting his baser instincts guide him. He fucks who he wants, goes where he wants, says what he wants, and he owes no one alive an explanation for it. Many people have stopped asking Tony questions like why? Certainly none of Toomes’s men asked Tony why when he was torturing them forty-eight hours ago. 

“Because I want to,” Tony says. He reaches down and picks up Peter’s backpack, putting it over his shoulder, the canvas bag downright gauche against his Givenchy tuxedo. “So what do you say, kid? You look dead on your feet, but would you like to be dead on your feet somewhere more private?” 

Peter takes a long moment to think about it before tucking his toes into his shoes. 

-

He belongs there amongst the backdrop of Tony’s penthouse. Peter glances around with all the coltish wonder of a newborn, running his fingers across the genuine leather of the sofa, leaning forward to look at the smart-glass table that Tony likes to prop his feet up on at night. Upon entering, Tony removes his tuxedo jacket and takes Peter’s hastily-removed sweatshirt. He appreciates the four inches of skin that appear when his shirt rides up, sticking to his outerwear. 

He doesn’t appreciate the yellowing bruises dotting the kid’s biceps. Fingertips, he knows. His mother wore them round her neck like pearls. 

“Is it okay if I take my shoes off?” Peter asks. He limped from the theater to the car, from the car to the elevator, and from the elevator to the couch where he collapsed with a sigh of relief. When Tony encourages him to, Peter nudges off his comfortable shoes and brings one foot up into his lap where he firmly presses his knuckles into the sole. 

Peter asks for a drink. Tony gives him access to his wine, and the kid chooses for himself: a red, Chateau Margaux that smells of rose petals and hints at citrus and turns Peter’s cheeks pink. He doesn’t ask for a second glass, and Tony doesn’t offer it; the last thing he wants is the kid to think that Tony invited him here to take advantage of him.

“Tell me,” Tony asks, watching with rapt attention the faces Peter makes, like he’s dancing on the knife’s edge between pleasure and pain. “Tell me how you met my men. They aren’t exactly patrons of the arts.” 

Peter’s face smoothes and he smiles. “It was Natalie, actually. She comes to shows every so often; I think her and one of the instructors know each other. Sometimes, she sponsors promising dancers.” 

Romanov. Her and this instructor must truly know each other for her to be using a cover name around them. He files all this away in the darkest parts of his mind, should she ever become a problem someday. Tony has places reserved in his brain for all of his closest allies; already, he is making one for Peter too. Trust is earned but ever ephemeral. 

“So Nat introduced you?” 

“Yes. She sponsored me for a while, so we got to know each other pretty well. Once I mixed up my days and showed up at her condo when I wasn’t supposed to, and I met the others. Sometimes they would come to shows or send me gifts backstage.” Peter frowns. “I asked them to stop though because—Quent would just throw them all away.” 

“Quentin Beck.” 

“How’d you know?” 

Tony just smiles and changes the subject. “You must know that the three of my men are half in love with you.” 

Peter groans, pressing both his palms flat to his heated cheeks. “I had a feeling they were...interested. I hope they don’t feel that I’ve led them on, Mr. Stark. Nothing untoward happens at all when we’re together; sometimes I, I meet Steve and James for dinner, or other times Sam comes over to my apartment and we just talk, I promise. They’re so kind and it’s—it’s nice to have people to talk to.” 

Peter stops talking abruptly, mouth open. He lets it fall closed with a click. When Tony prods him gently, he admits, “The attention is nice, too. It feels good, feeling wanted. Does that make me bad?” 

Tony wonders what kind of miserable asshole would have Peter in his bed at night and not show the kid attention. It takes a special fuck-up to come home to a lover like Peter and not make him feel wanted. “Wanting attention? Not at all, kid. It’s the least of what you deserve.” 

“You sound like them,” Peter says, smiling. “James and Steve and Sam. They’re always doing and saying nice things and telling me that I deserve them.” 

“Good,” says Tony, one side of his mouth curling upwards. “I feel like a proud father; I’ve taught them well. Should you have those elevated?” 

“Sorry?” 

“Your feet. Elevation will keep down the swelling.” Tony places one of the expensive throw pillows on his lap and pats it invitingly. Peter stretches out without anymore prompting, toes flexing as his joints pop before curling in. The kid makes for an indecent picture, all long lines, absolutely nothing hidden by the leggings he wears. 

“I asked them if I could meet you, you know,” Peter admits. He’s red from far more than the wine, now, judging by the way he has one hand pressed over his eyes to shield him from Tony’s gaze. As if it’s possible to. Peter peaks through his fingers. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Mr. Stark, but I’ve had a crush on you for ages.”

A crush. God. Tony doesn’t know what’s more hilarious, the sweet naivete of this boy or how it makes his cold heart flutter. Tony’s eyebrows raise. “Is that so? I’m not exactly crush material for the mentally stable.” 

Peter hums. “When I was a kid, I had a lot of bullies. I started dancing when I was four years old, and not a lot of other boys understood. Sometimes, I used to daydream about you coming to protect me from them. To put them all in their place and then whisk me off to that house you gave a tour of on TV once, the one in Malibu.” 

“Good taste,” Tony says. “You know, I used to do the same thing when I was young. I dreamed about someone coming to protect me and my mother, to take us both away somewhere where no one could ever hurt us.” 

Sitting up on his elbows, Peter fixes Tony with a serious, solemn stare. “Really?” 

“Really.” 

“Is that what happened?” 

“No. I became that someone. What happened to you?” 

“I guess I gave up on the idea,” says Peter.

“Look. Maybe you don’t have your crush on me anymore, but I’m not the kind of man who can look away from innocent human suffering. My men told me about your boyfriend.” Peter sags back onto the couch and puts his face in his hands. He shakes his head from side to side, though no words come out. “This is my offer, kid. Let me take care of the problem. Let me be that knight in shining armor you wanted when you were younger. 

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 14: So If You Put a Fraction Into a Duel Disk, the Card Explodes

We left on quite the cliffhanger last episode, so I’ll fill you in:

I did not get the haircut.

Like I seriously considered getting a Zigfried for a cool 3 or 4 minutes there, but then I decided to wait a couple of days and I basically forgot.

But, back to the arc finale, Seto has decided to walk, not run, to the Kaiba lab in order to fix the virus rapidly eating his entire company.

I just want to point out that Zigfried went through a LOT of work to get Seto Kiaba to go “uggggh” turn around, and pretend to calmly walk away. I’m used to Seto losing his nut kind of a lot and blowing things up but this season he’s like “be chill be chill be chill” so that the entire world doesn’t think he’s a spaz on TV.

And little aside about Seto’s design choices here, I fell down a hole of interior design videos, and can I just say: apparently these wood frame things on the wall are back in style? Good on you, 2002(3?) Seto Kaiba. Don’t think that current designers are painting them purple but...we’re halfway there to Yugioh fashion.

Meanwhile, Pharaoh decides to remind everyone that these stakes are hella low. The worst that happens is that Zigfried deletes the plane that Yugi needs to fly home...which would be an impressive virus.

Like it’s hard to tell if Yami even has a solid concept of “capitalism” and whether or not he cares about or understands the makeup of Seto’s company (which up till now has operated like a small country and not a business...which is a little more Pharaoh’s understanding. Either way...hard to tell if Yami would shed two tears for the loss of Kaiba corp.)

And, despite what I say in the caps, I feel like Leon and Zigfried are the first villains we’ve ever had that Yugi and Pharaoh didn’t unintentionally disclose that they are 2 people to. Zigfried and Leon are just...completely oblivious to how effed up Yugi’s bean is. They think that’s just a normal kid and lol no dudes...y’all got distracted by Seto Kabia but you have a literal Egyptian God just hovering around in the background and dating 3 people by accident.

Like when the show shelves the main storyline, it is very funny how it’s all “And we’re gonna put the Pharaoh crisis on hold--just put a pin in it. No one will notice this child is two nervous wrecks stitched together” and then Yugi and Yami just kinda hold it in and watch all patiently until it’s their turn to get off the bench.

(read more under the cut)

In the giant computer tower, Seto Kaiba shouts out a string of orders and numbers, admired the many sonar detector looking windows open on every monitor, and then sat down at his desk to like...check the firewall, I guess?

The virus is past the firewall. It’s um...it’s inside the firewall, pretty sure that was the point, but youknow, it’s a kid’s show so they’re just throwing out computer stuff that has no meaning to the writers of this show.

Mokuba thinks fondly of how Seto Kaiba has never screwed him over (which I mean...maybe not on purpose, ((except for that one time he did screw him over on purpose to get Gozaburo Kaiba to accidentally give Seto Kaiba the company, but you could say that was a grander scheme that he knew Mokuba would see through, which...)) but Seto certainly has screwed Mokuba over accidentally. At least once.)

And meanwhile, Yami fixes everything through card shenanigans.

So here’s the shenanigan this episode: I don’t go over cards here but this one requires a limited amount of explanation.

So every round the golden castle deletes half of Yugi’s cards. So he was like...I’ll just draw down to one card. They can’t delete half a card...so that means the card must delete one of the two cards on the field which means it must delete itself.

...which is like the closest Yugioh will probably ever get to abusing a glitch to do a speedrunning tactic like GDQ.

Anyway, like I stated in the title: there are no fractions allowed in Yugioh. If you do that to your priceless one-of-a-kind card you got from winning one of Pegasus’ murder tournies, it will irreparably bust the card.

I’m sure at least one of you will correct me with the proper way to insert a fraction into your duel disk. Cuz like...as I say multiple times so we never forget, I barely pay attention to this card game and I’m just flying by the seat of my pants.

I want to say Seto and Mokuba were in the hacker chairs for like...3 minutes maybe before they realized “oh...Yugi fixed it...” and walked the half a mile back to the duel arena.

and also, as I’m looking at Seto’s glasses here, I just realized...all of Kaiba’s team wears sunglasses all the time. Inside, outside, night, or day...

They haven’t outright said this...but what if those aren’t sunglasses?

Is Roland and that other Roland wearing fancy cyber glasses? They are, right? Because they wear them indoors?

Damn, they can’t take a piss without being on call with Kaiba Corp, can they?

Now the problem is...Yugi played all of his cards (he has two in front of him face down, but none in his deck) and after milling himself, this means he’s now basically a sitting duck for Leon to take the title of “King of Games.”

Leon insists that he defend whatever scraps are left of his card honor and not duel a person who is carrying no cards and Yugi was like “COME AT ME BRO THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW I’M ALIVE.”

He didn’t even have to do a horror on Leon, he just...played cards good? I skipped it, I’ll be honest, but overall Leon’s card honor was...saved? Maybe? I mean he also go destroyed when his competitor had not a single card in his duel disk so...

...Leon will have to work on his card honor off screen because he’s pretty well humiliated at this point.

But stumbling onto the playing field like he’s half dazed/daydrunk, Zigfried is like “You forgot I already won, bastards!”

Which is when we find out that Zigfried’s “delete all” virus failed to press “enter” and deleted basically nothing. Just like when my Mom attempts to send something in Gmail but doesn’t press “Send” and tells me that Google is down and broken.

Sorry my bro has informed me that he ALSO has had to help my Mother locate the “Send” button and I just...I know she absolutely did that but I’m in denial that this Riddle of the Sphinx has happened to her multiple times.

Honestly, the pep talk we get from Leon at the end to cheer up his bro was a whole lot of “we will pick ourselves up and we’ll do better next time. Together.” and sure you can translate that as “we’ll be honest next time” or you can translate that as “next time we will be not nearly as obvious about inserting a virus into their computer until it is done doing the job, bro.”

Just like Dartz, we didn’t really get a whole lot of retribution or closure when it comes to Zigfried. But, unlike Dartz, Zigfried didn’t do too much murder, so I guess this is fine. He tried to cheat in a card game...

...and I guess tried to delete Kaiba Corp but youknow...

...people let him have that. The police saw the ticket of “this man tried to delete Kaiba Corp” and they just...didn’t arrest him. The judge saw that ticket and didn’t put out a warrant. They just let Zigfried have this, almost like “better luck next time, ya?”

And then Roland clocked out for the day and went home, thus ending this arc.

Look at all these characters, most of which we never saw duel even one card.

We also got one shot of Mai for some reason although she was not in this arc.

AAAHHHH. Every time I’m like “the show is done screwing geography” we get another freakin geography spook!

But we went back to California in order to get a scene of these guys in an airport to get a flight to Japan...

which means Rex and Weevil just...were they shipped home by the Kaibas? Because way to ditch getting arrested by the American Government, hot damn. They are...literally terrorists who destroyed a Caltrain in a plot to kill everyone in the world so like...really surprised Rex and Weevil are in public...but maybe all the FBI were dead at the time so they just didn’t know?

Meanwhile, Duke has to go back to Death Valley and call a tow truck for his car, RIP.

I sure hope he got PTO during this stunt and isn’t going home to a pink slip.

I’m not sure of Dukes life or anything going on with Duke. I’m sure the thing about Serenity is him joking because we have all forgotten about that girl by this point...but also...is Duke...still living in the Tenderloin? The crime rate is very, very high and the ground isn’t solid, so it will liquefy if there’s an Earthquake, but it is one of the few places in the Bay Area that doesn’t light on fire every year. He has that going for him.

I just really hope Duke moves out of the Tenderloin one of these days, he needs a better life.

Meanwhile, Rebecca does one last crime.

This is like a post-epidemic reaction to a hug, but in 2002(3?).

I don’t think I’ll miss Rebecca too much. Wanted to like her more, but she was under-utilized, like most of the characters on Yugioh. Not even just talking girl characters here--most characters on Yugioh are super under-utilized, just Tristan Wallflowers doing nothing, but also being selectively OP as hell about very specific things they never, ever need to do.

Speaking of the devil:

Yugi...just saved his entire company...

But Mokuba is just has to make sure to make it seem like they owed Mokuba and not the other way around. Just in case.

So off they go on this massive plane. It’s probably more to do with the length of the trip as to why the plane is so big but also...

This plane is overcompensating.

But before we analyze that, lets close the book on Seto Kaiba’s very short therapy arc. Overall, it was a nice distraction, but I can see why people call it a filler arc, as it really doesn’t affect...anything going on in the major plotlines, which makes me think it could have been a movie or a game or something. But overall, it’s not bad, it’s just not what you’d expect if you were a Western audience.

Like I’m preaching to the choir, but typically, Western stories are entirely plot focused, and so our arcs always give or take away from that plot. But in a Eastern story arc, it may instead be character focused, where the climax is a character evolving or coming to some sort of cathartic realization, which this arc was, in a big way. We still had some plot, because this is a Shonen, but overall it was about characters, and specifically whether or not Leon and his bro would reconcile or change--which they did.

We did get to see a little more growth on Seto in that he...didn’t go bonkers and hallucinate during a card game. It’s been a while since we’ve had him not do that. Seto was very chill this arc, which makes sense, it was a very chill slice of life arc for everyone involved.

So, next we move on to the next one, which bro has informed me...is

still not Bakura.

According to Bro, the next arc didn’t even air in the Japanese version of the show? Like he’s got a lot of spicy Yugioh headcanons so he could be wrong (He did tell me that he thought that Zigfried was Seto Kaiba’s ex boyfriend when he saw this as a kid which...that sure is a way to interpret this arc, and it probably wasn’t just my little brother who went down that thought tube there...)

(Bro Note: To be fair, I didn’t watch much of this arc as a kid.)

But he says the next arc was originally a movie. But they released it in the States as episodes to be part of S5, just to put more episodes in there. Which, if he’s correct, makes it seem like we’re getting like the Mulan 2 experience kind of shoved in between this arc and the next

But um..

according to bro it has virtually no card games.

.......

I’m so used to only capping 10 minutes an episode, what?

Anyway, until then, here’s the link to read the rest of these from the start in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I’m kinda itching to do a Season Zero, it’s been a hot minute--so those take a little longer to do, especially since I need to go to a different site I haven’t...checked out yet...I’ll be back...eventually? I just know that at some point in Season Zero they fight it out with yo-yo’s and I want to see it.

[imaginesforjohnnydepp]

Violette Pt. 4

@kittenlittle24  @evelynrosestuff

Johnny was glad that he took up Violette on her offer because he had to get out of Los Angeles; Violette was a gracious host and they fell back in sync with each other. While she was at work, he took the opportunity to explore the area to find souvenirs for his kids and check up on them, other times he’d go through Violette’s books and movies and photo albums, which were his favorite things to do. The albums were completely filled up with pictures. There were pictures of her at weddings, work related parties, vacation pictures (lots of them), newspaper clippings of her accomplishments. It made him happy knowing that Violette became so successful and is well respected, because she deserves it.

When he heard the keys at the door, he quickly closed the book and turned up the volume on an episode of Chopped just as Violette walked in, shaking water off her umbrella and putting it in the stand.  “Sorry I’m late! I was held up with paperwork then there was a wreck, but on the plus side I got Italian!” It was nearly eight thirty when they sat down to eat, the both of them digging into their shrimp pasta as they filled each other in on their day. Since it was Friday and Violet didn’t have to be at work the next day, they watched TV together after dinner, the living room dark except for a lamp on a low setting. It was halfway through a second episode of Fraser, the one where Fraser accidentally tells Daphne about Niles’ feelings for her before the wedding when Johnny noticed Violette had fallen asleep.

Her head was tipped back and her chest was gently rising and falling; she looked so comfortable and peaceful he felt bad for waking her. Johnny shook her gently. “Hey Vi? It’s time to wake up, you’re gonna hurt your neck like that.” Slowly, Violette came to, lifting her head from the back of the couch, her eyes slowly opening. “Huh? What time is it?” 

Her voice was heavy with sleep and she stretched, arms above her head. “Bout time for you to go to bed. You fell asleep halfway through Fraser.” Violette knew he was right; she had a long day at work and now all she wanted was to apply a serum or two and get into bed. “You’re right, it’s been a long day. Do you want the bathroom first?” He shook his head no, and she smiled  before heading to her room.

“Good night Johnny.” They both headed their separate ways, and as he changed into his pajamas, Johnny could hear Violette doing her night time routine, the faucet running every few minutes as she rinsed her face. He checked his phone for messages, emails from his lawyer and Amber’s, two missed phone calls from his family about funeral arrangements, all things that can wait until tomorrow; he hooked it up to the charger and placed it face down. After a few more minutes, the faucet turned up for the last time, and Violette knocked twice before opening the door. “Bathroom’s all yours now.” 

He tried not to notice how long her legs looked in her pajama pants or how ample her chest looked, even in an oversized shirt. Frankly, ever since he got here, Johnny’s been trying to ignore how gorgeous Violette is; she looked good in just about everything she wore: her work clothes where the slacks she wore clung to her legs like a second skin, the leggings and tank tops he saw her in, drenched in sweat when she came back after a morning run. It was like acting in front of a green screen and trying to ignore how ridiculous Bill Nighy looks with black dots on his face as he wears a gray leotard. Johnny couldn’t ignore the fact that Violette has an ass and breasts, and he felt guilty checking her out when her back was turned, but what could he do? He certainly wasn’t going to tell a grown woman to cover up in her own home; with a sigh, he shuffled into the bathroom to do his business.

Meanwhile, Violette was in bed, simultaneously reading and going through her text messages; due to the torrential rain that would be coming this weekend, book club was cancelled (which she was grateful for because she’s kind of behind the rest of the group). Violette was just about to call it a night when a new message appeared, from Angela. I know you took my floral dress the other day. Mikayla said she saw you leave with it.  Yes, she did take the dress but that’s only because Angela took her favorite Dooney and Bourke handbag (something that happened months ago and Violette has yet to see it back in her closet) but unlike her sister, she plans on actually returning it. And what about it? she typed back. You can pick it up from the dry cleaner on Basin Street tomorrow, and you’re one to talk considering I haven’t seen my Dooney and Bourke purse since New Years.  

Once the message was sent, she went back to her book, which had five chapters left; Violette reached for the notebook and pen and started scribbling notes about the chapter when her phone buzzed again. Thank you. And as for your purse, I think Miki has it. It’s hanging on the doorknob of her closet. Probably thought it was mine. But how’s it going with Johnny? Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, and she didn’t know what to say. How is it going with Johnny? Violette wanted to tell her sister that things are great, like nothing’s changed between them, about her growing feelings for her ex husband, but all she texted back was that things are fine. 

Really, only fine? Leave it to Angela to be overly observant, might as well come clean now. It feels like nothing’s changed between us even though a LOT has. We’re cracking jokes, eating together, going out. It feels like old times. Violette knew what Angela was going to say next: that they need to slow down, how Johnny probably isn’t ready for another relationship when he already has so much going on. She hastily texted: And I know what you’re going to say next, but I can’t help it. He’s still Johnny. I gotta go, it’s late. 

She put her phone on the charger and placed it face down on the nightstand. Violette hoped that all her feelings toward Johnny could just be chalked up to not getting enough sex or boredom or loneliness, because really, what would a relationship with Johnny look like today? Probably a long distance relationship and media interference, and she’d had enough of that from last time to last a lifetime. Besides, Violette never dates men with children, and in her age group, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack to find a single male in their late forties/early fifties who doesn't have children. Shaking her head at the thought, she pulled the covers up over her head and waited for the air conditioner to kick on to lull her to sleep.

So this was how the rest of their week went, both of them pining over the other without the other’s knowledge: Johnny pretended not to notice her figure and his growing attraction and Violette pretended that she didn’t harbor romantic feelings for him, until one day Johnny couldn��t take it any longer. He brought up the question while they sat in Violette’s car at a snowball stand, the a/c blasting and the radio on a low volume. “Why are we doing this, Vi?” The question was so out of left field that she almost choked on a bubblegum flavored hunk of ice. “What do you mean?” she asked, sucking the bubblegum syrup from the ice. 

“I mean, why are we ignoring… whatever this is? We’re adults, Violette, we should be able to communicate with each other.” She was sure she was doing a good job at masking her feelings, but apparently she was wrong. “Because Johnny, it wouldn’t matter. Your life is in LA, with your children and work and my life is here. What could we actually do about it? You’re only here for another week.” Violette was actually glad that he brought it up now, because there was no way they would be able to do anything about it, since Johnny would be here for another week before going home. Leaving Violette alone with her unresolved feelings.

“And you already have so much going on. Are you sure this is what you want? If you’re ready for this?” Violette put another spoonful of her snowball in her mouth, sucking off the syrup until the ice was hard packed on her tongue. “Is that what you’re scared of? That I might leave again?” Johnny asked. “Not might, but will. As you can see, I don’t have a normal work schedule and I’m not a fan of long distance relationships.” And because I’m scared you could hurt me again,” she added in her head.

“Johnny, we’re not in the ‘80s anymore. We’re so different now, we always have been.” Johnny sighed before putting his cup in a cup holder. “We’re not that different, you’re still you and I’m still me. We’re older now, have more life experience. Violette, we were so young when we got married. And I moved on from her long before I thought about filing for divorce.” She took his words into consideration, really thinking about it. Was the reason why she never remarried is because that deep in her subconscious, Violette knew she and Johnny would make their way back to each other?

“Just one chance is all I’m asking. Please.” He looked so sincere, and the offer was so tempting. How many times had Violette had this dream of Johnny coming back to her and begging her to take him back? Too many times in the early days of their breakup, and Johnny was right, they’re older now, old enough to know what they want in their partners. “What do you say? Can you give me another chance? We can take it slow, whatever you want.”

Violette put the last spoonful of her snowball in her mouth, savoring the last bite as she thought it over. While she was a little apprehensive about the whole thing, she’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t at least a little curious as to how a relationship with Johnny would be like today. A lot of traveling back and forth, probably meeting his kids at some point. And what about long term? Would they live together?

 Get married (or in their case remarried)? “We’ll take it slow?” Violette asked, just to make sure. “As slow as you want,” he answered. Violette smiled and grabbed Johnny’s hand. “Okay.”

[heretherebedork]

THE ENDING FOR OSSANS LOVE. WE DID IT THEY DID A NON-COMEDY KISS. INITIATED BY TIN TOO. WE WON FELLAS.

but seriously, this episode was wild from start to finish. i watched it live on tv so i was just an anxious mess during the ad breaks wondering whether the last 30, 20, 10 minutes could really tie up the story. and it did! i’m still amazed at how much happens in one episode. we really went from siu muk screaming about how tin should’ve thought through the marriage to them kissing on the couch? and i’d like to think the easter egg is a lawyer asking them these questions before letting them sign their marriage papers but i’m getting ahead of myself

so KK telling tin to go find muk was quite surprising to me. i thought even if deep down KK knew tin wasn’t genuine with his romantic love for KK or couldn’t reciprocate it the way KK wants, he’d rather play pretend than let Tin go, so truly, props to him for being the bigger man and being mature (if thats the term) and encouraging Tin to go find ah muk. i think it’s also partly because he does love Tin enough to want him to have a happy future and not be so selfish as to keep him when both parties aren’t gonna be 100% happy with it.

and then when muk tried to tell tin they wouldn’t have a good future together but obviously just saying without any fight in him? honestly i kinda laughed, it felt like he included it just as an inside joke like, hey remember how i said this and we broke up but here you are ditching your marriage? we ended up right where we left off! (i can’t articulate this properly but i hope you understand HAHA). and Tin going like, i’m a big boy, let me choose :( and it’s true! he has indeed grown (sure he still can’t pack but i’m sure he’s more in touch with his feelings towards siu muk)

honestly? i’m very satisfied with the ending, and LOVED it when carmen took out her own recording device. i was wondering why ping gor just stopped using it after the scam. so glad they brought it back, esp through carmen and it helps solidify their relationship. this couple is truly iconic, i love their dynamic.

i still have so many thoughts but here are some nice stuff from their zoom after party: (1) literally everyone (even the producer) wants to do a movie adaptation or a second season (movie felt more ideal amongst them, but any continuum is nice). (2) for the last scene/ kissing scene, edan and anson actually did three takes with varying degrees of intensity. the one that aired was the middle one, and when asking whether they’d release the most intense one (apparently more mouth/lip movement), both edan and anson lo said they shouldn’t release it because they want it to happen in the movie/ sequel. (3) the cast thinks KK and Darren has potential. (4) the cast also thought louis and francesca should’ve kissed. (5) the hk adaptation is airing in japan HAHA (in fall) as well as a few other east asian countries. that’s all i recall for now.

thank you, francis, from the bottom of my heart, for answering my asks and allowing me to have someone to vent to, laugh at, and get emotionally wrecked together. i know you watch a bunch of other BL series but this has become my favourite show (i don’t watch a lot but when i watch shows i completely spiral) so i’m so happy to get to talk about it with someone. something so dangerous about asian dramas is finding people who want to talk about it (in english as well!) i’ll probably be in your askbox for a few more days sorting out my feelings but i loved going on your blog and seeing new posts about ossan’s love!

We got a comedy kiss turned real kiss! Which was wonderful. It was so, so good to see. I was SO WORRIED when Tin panicked at the kiss again but YESSS WE GOT THE KISS. I might watch those last few scenes with them again, tbh. They're just so GOOD and SWEET and HEARTFELT. What darling boys.

That episode was definitely a wild ride. They held out for the last minute to solve things. Siu Muk yelling about Tin not making up his mind just made me wanna scream, though. I mean, come on dude! You did break up with him for 'his own good'. What did you want him to do? You knew he still had feelings for you when you broke up with him! Stop it! I really wish Siu Muk had been the one to go after Tin, truly, and not have the failed scene at the bridge... but it was good to see Tin chase him down though.

Oh, that scene hurt so much. Siu Muk was so unsure and so scared and Tin, for the first time, genuinely made up his mind. He said 'This is me and I know myself, stop telling me who I am' and he meant it. Is he a fully competent and independent adult? No, but who is? He's capable of running a business and choosing who he loves and if he can't pack a bag... well, everyone has a weakness.

Oh man, a movie adaptation would be great. A second season would probably make me twitchy because EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. SEASON. EVER. is like 'miscommunication and possible cheating!' and I don't want that for our boys. I want them to just be happy together. I'd only like a second season if they let Siu Muk and Tin be the secondary happy couple and make someone else be in that weird love triangle position. I'd actually love that! They'd make an amazing 'happy in the background' couple.

I want that kiss. DAMNIT. I want that KISS. I wanna see all the versions of the kiss and also more kisses, pleases. Just... Tin and Siu Muk kissing in general would be great and ideal and my favorite thing ever. I just want their future to be happy and content and full of love.

Oh, I am always glad to get show-specific asks, or any ask at all, and happy to chat and natter and share! Please, always feel free to hit me up. It's hard to find a BL I'm not watching (if you do, feel free to tell me about it because it's probably an accident!) I have too much free time, no life and a love of BL that is all encompassing. I've been so glad to know that other people share this show and the same deep thoughts about it and enjoyed all the same bits!

You are always welcome to hit me up and to chat. I've got plenty of headcanons I'm still considering for these characters so I look forward to seeing and hearing your post-show thoughts as well.

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil Thoughts: Part 2- Episode 11

Back to a very emotionally shook Hyunsoo who's driving away from her, away from his life, away from all he's known for the past 14 years, away from his family, away from love. The only love he's ever had. Jiwon and his daughter. He has tears in his eyes as the memory of Jiwon telling him "there's no reason behind why I've fallen out love" comes. He believes he knows why Jiwon told him this and it was because she had discovered the truth of his identity. How could a strong, beautiful woman like Jiwon ever love the likes of Do Hyunsoo? He's literally fighting tears, clutching at his head as her words continue to sound in his mind.

Then he remembers her telling him she wishes they could switch bodies so that he could feel how much she loves him and you can see how genuinely confused he is. Does Jiwon love him? Does she not want him? Is she abandoning him? And once the case is through, she wants to move to the countryside with Eunha and him. All of these thoughts and memories are too much as he lets out a cry and slams on his breaks to the side of a bridge.

He looks so incredibly lost. He looks afraid, he doesn't know what to do. He's been abandoned now. He's all alone and so he rests his head on his steering wheel. No. He doesn't want to accept that. He's desperate to not accept that, and so he tries to call his wife over and over. He's pleading for her to pick up the phone, that this can't be the end for them. He genuinely does not want to lose his wife. The idea of it has driven him into an emotional burst. Jiwon just looks at her phone but doesn't answer. With the song Feel You playing throughout this whole scene, it just adds to the emotional impact.

Next thing we know, a taxi is pulling up in front of his car and out comes Jiwon. Hyunsoo is already on the verge of absolutely breaking down, but the moment he gets out of that car absolutely wrecked my heart. He's literally struggling his way to her, tears are filling his eyes as she questions him.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why? You can't live as Baek Heeseong anymore. Your identity got exposed. You need to run away."

Oh Jiwon... he's doing this because he NEEDS you. Because he's desperate! Because he loves you, even if he doesn't understand that himself or why he's being like this with her. He does not WANT to run away. He does not CARE that his identity was exposed. He wants to be with you. And I know you're trying... trying so hard and so desperately to help him so he doesn't rot in prison for what his sister did. I know you are.

"What more do you want from me? What more do I need to do for you?"

Jiwon, what he needs from you right now is your comfort, your love, your protection. You don't need to do anything more than what you've already been doing. Just keep loving him, just keep him safe, help him as best you can. Be there for him and for love of god, don't abandon him. He's had enough of that in his life. He's been dealt miserable hands his entire life, and there's nothing that he wants more now than you, his life, his family and to live peacefully. It's his turn for the questions. Hyunsoo is crying now. The first time he's ever really cried.

"Just why... You knew everything. Why didn't you abandon me even though you knew everything?"

Oh... oh my GOD, Hyunsoo... just because you're not living as Baek Heeseong anymore. Just because you are Do Hyunsoo does NOT mean that you are worthy of abandonment. His self-worth is so incredibly small it's utterly heartbreaking. There's no reason WHY Jiwon would've abandoned you because that's just how incredible she is. Yes, she knows your real identity, and yet here she is. She stayed by your side, she told you she didn't mean it, you KNOW she loves you regardless. You have to know this. You have to know you are worthy of her love. How can you not understand why she wouldn't abandon you?? Your trauma runs so deep... you've never been shown by a single person that you are worthy of love except for Jiwon and it's so heartbreaking. So incredibly heartbreaking.

"Do you really not understand?"

No, Jiwon. He doesn't. He's so lost. We know... She bent over backward to protect him, to keep him safe no matter what it took, no matter what she had to do because simply finding out the fact that his real name is Do Hyunsoo did not mean an ending to her love for him. She STILL loves him. She never STOPPED loving him. She would never stop loving him. Ever.

I don't think Hyunsoo is having a panic attack this time. I think he's feeling real, true pain in his heart. I think those panic attacks were the start to this, like I've said in the past episodes. His emotions are completely opening up. His emotions that had brimmed the surface are spilling out in all directions. This takes me back to the beginning scene of when Eunha is crying. He asks Jiwon why, and she tells him "Because there's a lot she wants to say but she can't put it into words yet." I think there is A LOT of that Hyunsoo wants to say here, but he can't. So all he can do is tell Jiwon he is so sorry that he hurt her. He's overcome with his own remorse, regret, disappointment in himself and grief and now all he can do is just cry. He looks so defeated...

"I'm so sorry, Jiwon-ah. I hurt you. I wounded you."

Joongi's delivery of this line right here sent me over the edge full on sobbing because you can FEEL the pain. You can FEEL him in pain. You can FEEL his remorse, you can FEEL how desperately sorry he is that he hurt his wife like this. Joongi has always been able to break my heart and make me cry with his crying scenes, but this one is something so incredibly different. It's not anything like his past heartbreaking scenes in other dramas. You can feel every ounce of Hyunsoo's pain, his desperation, his regret, his fear of losing her.

Years upon years upon years of emotion and tears are just pouring out of him. Who knows how long he kept these feelings and emotions completely on lockdown for so long because of how many people told him he wasn't capable of feeling. Who knows when the last time he ever actually cried in his life? Probably when he was very very young. Maybe when his mother disappeared? Who knows, but it would seem in all his adult life up til now, he has never shed real tears and has never cried, and so now he finally is. He's sobbing like a young one. Like Eunha. And I can't even imagine what's going through Jiwon's head, seeing her husband literally crumbling and shattering before her like this. She's probably never see him cry up til now.

He's in so much pain because of everything he's been through in his life and has never had a way to let it out because he was told he was a monster. He was told he was possessed by an evil spirit and forced into abusive exorcisms. He was told he wasn't capable of feeling or processing emotion. He was told he couldn't love, so he believed any feeling to be unreal and locked it all away to the point he became emotionally stunted, but he can. HE CAN. These feelings have been building and building for so long, unrecognized and have now become evident. His remorse, his aching, his longing, unbelieving that anyone could ever love him as Do Hyunsoo... my heart physically aches for him. I'm shattered.

And the music. THE MUSIC. Oh my GOD this absolutely tragic instrumental is incredible. I don't know how this drama is doing it, but I tell you... the whole time I watched this scene I just cried and cried right along with Hyunsoo and Jiwon. Jiwon can’t stand it and she grabs her husband and pulls her to him. When she gathers him into her arms and holds him after he asks her why again, (FINALLY... I wondered how long she was gonna just let him stand there sobbing his heart out in front of her) and she tells him because it's all she could do, and he leans into her shoulder and wraps his arms around her. The way they are so desperately clinging to each other, as if they can't hold each other tight enough. Hyunsoo's sobs, Jiwon gently patting him on the back. I LOVED the gentle pat on the back because it reminded me all of the times Hyunsoo would hold, comfort and pat Jiwon whether she was crying or resting or whatever. He was there, holding her and patting her, comforting her. Her gentle patting calms him down...

And when he tells her "Jiwon, I want to go home." Oh my GOD... it was almost childlike here. He just wants to go home. Where he's comforted, where he's safe, where nothing can hurt him, where he's loved... I'm getting emotional just going back through this scene. God, Jiwon. Just take this poor baby home.

"Okay, let's go. Let's go home. Whatever happens, let's start over there."

The way he's clutching her shoulder and hair and sobbing again at the realization he gets to go home... just... GOD. Get him home, start over, clean his wounds, get his clothes changed and just let him cry or sleep or talk. Do whatever he wants or needs. Just please please get him home and stay with him.  Yep. I'm crying again. My gosh this episode just has me so utterly wrecked. I wish I could explain it better with my words just how much this episode affected me. Thank you Lee Joongi and Moon Chaewon for your beautiful chemistry here. You two deserve massive awards for this drama, but for this scene alone. You both are amazing.

Ooookay, after that overwhelmingly powerful emotional blow that lasted ohhh what... a good 10 minutes? From the time Jiwon busted in to save Hyunsoo, til the very end of Hyunsoo's breakdown... I had to stop so I could cry and get it all out before starting on the next scene.

So now, we're back with Noona and the Baek family. Who is, I believe, faking Noona out with the whole "I'll look into it." Meanwhile, you got Heeseong back there still biting his nails. Haesoo, no... you are trusting them far too easy and you CANNOT count on them. You don't know them. These are dangerous people. Now the mother is asking Haesoo if when she met the accomplice, was there anything that stood out. Sly... she's now talking about the fingernails on his left hand were chewed down short, and here the camera pans to Baek Heeseong biting and chewing at his nails and then him looking at them as Noona recalls this.

AND I CALLED IT I CALLED IT I FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! HE IS THE ACCOMPLICE!!!! HE'S THE ONE WHO SENT THE THREATENING MESSAGE TO THAT LADY, HE IS THE ONE WHO WAS WORKING WITH THE TRAFFICKING RING, HE IS THE ONE WHO WORKED WITH DO MINSEOK. HE WAS THE ONE AT THE FUNERAL SOBBING LIKE IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD AND HE HELPED DO MINSEOK KILL ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE. The flasbacks. THE FLASHBACKS FFS!!!

Oh shit... the damn trafficking ring leader escaped!!! He fucking tricked the cop with him and escaped. THIS IS REALLY REALLY BAD. This asshole is gonna want revenge on Hyunsoo... and I'm REALLY worried for Hyunsoo's safety since he busted loose. Who knows where he's gone!?

Oh man... time for more tears again, because believe me. This scene made me cry too. I love how Jiwon gently takes Hyunsoo's hand to lead him inside of their home, because he seems almost reluctant to step inside of it. Almost like a "Am I worthy of stepping inside my home? Can I be here? Is it okay for me to be in here?" And then In My Heart starts playing which is PERFECT for this scene. Another fabulously emotional scene done by Joongi and Chaewon. Poor Hyunsoo. He looks like he cried the whole way home, and now that they're home, and he's looking at the wall with the photos of all of their familial memories, Hyunsoo starts to cry again. You think he's going to go into an anxiety attack, but Jiwon grounds him. She puts her arm around him to support him and he turns to face her. He's so so vulnerable right now. So incredibly vulnerable. Jiwon is the rock he needs. She's his strongest pillar of support.

And now, back in their home, Jiwon puts her arms around her husband once more and holds him close. This is them, starting new, starting over, letting him cry in your arms, comforting him, letting him know that you're here, that you love him, that this is his HOME. He is HOME. He's safe here. Our crying couple pulls back to look at each other, and Hyunsoo can't help himself. He cups his wife's face, strokes her cheek with his thumb.I love the way Hyunsoo literally looks over every inch of his wife’s face, as if committing it to memory, and then...

They share the most perfect, emotional, crying kiss that I've ever ever ever seen in a kdrama. It's not messy, it's not overdone, it’s not lacking. It's emotionally impactful, it's so tender and you can tell with all the crying they're struggling to kiss, but are still kissing. And it just sent me over the edge. Just when I thought I'd calmed down from the last scene, I'm crying AGAIN. What is this show DOING to me!? God I love the way he kisses her here. It's so desperate and so wanting. I just can't even pin it down properly with words. It's so perfectly visual.

Alright so we're back to gangster trafficker leader man Yeom Sangchul. He digs out the photos of accomplice from his back pocket and sure enough, it's Baek Heeseong. The REAL Baek Heeseong. Which stresses me out and now I'm INCREDIBLY worried for Hyunsoo's safety... because this man is an accomplice to serial killings, is a killer, worked and involved himself with human traffickers... he is REALLY dangerous. And Yeom Sangchul's words chill me to the bone... "This means... I still have one more chance." And I'm REALLY afraid he's going to use Heeseong to help him get Hyunsoo and attempt to succeed in killing him. Please please please catch him before he can cause Hyunsoo ANYMORE pain.

The whole entire Baek family are nothing but a bunch of shady, murderous bastards who all three deserved to be locked up. Whether they lock the mother up in a mental institution is fine by me, but Heeseong and Manwoo? LOCK THEM TF UP. Hyunsoo is more than capable of it? The man has never killed a person a day in his life, so no... he's really NOT capable of it. And I'm not buying Heeseong's "HE MADE ME DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT or he would kill you and dad" crocodile tear bullshit for one moment. This dude is legit psychotic and unhinged. He's fucking crazy. Especially considering he stops crying instantly and asks his parents if they'll protect him and you KNOW these jacked up psychopaths will. I could be wrong, but I think he's pulling off one hell of a big act here. Even if it means trying to screw over Hyunsoo or worse... hurt Noona. I'm currently REALLY worried for her safety too. Especially now that she's involved herself with the Baeks. Funny how everyone would call Hyunsoo a psychopath but not the REAL ones here, the damn Baek family. They've shaped up to be pretty good villains.

Next we're being shown a flashback of Hyunsoo when he was just a 10 year old child. He's running in the woods, not sure of why, but his father shows up and is oddly protective. And then you hear adult Hyunsoo say "That's my earliest memory." We see Hyunsoo and Jiwon sitting in bed together, Jiwon holding her husband's hand in a very comforting, reassuring way as if letting him know she's there for him. It makes me wonder how long they'd been sitting there talking. At some point, she definitely doctored him up and they changed clothes and gotten comfortable. I think they would've been too physically and emotionally battered to make love, though I've seen people question if they did. Maybe it came later. I think they both are pretty ouchie physically and their emotions are a complete wreck since he can't seem to stop crying.

Hyunsoo tells her he was 10 years old with that earliest memory. He also mentions he doesn't recall anything that happened before that. Okay, but why?? Most adults can remember clear back to when they were VERY young... personally, my earliest memory was when I was only 3. What kind of trauma did this poor man sustain when he was THAT young that he would block out? That it would become a repressed memory? He doesn't even remember why he was wandering in the woods, that it was like he was lost in darkness, like he fell in a deep hole. He felt relieved to be rescued by his father, and that's all he remembers. I need to know why. I really hope they touch on this in future upcoming episodes.

I really love why Jiwon questions why he's still wearing the watch she gave him. He tells her that the idea of her knowing where he is makes him feel good. It probably gives him that same safe feeling. Jiwon continues to rescue him over and over. Jiwon was able to find him at the trafficker's hideout if it weren't for that watch. He might have been burned to death if it weren't for that watch. She was able to save him all thanks to that watch, and I am so happy she did. Then she mentions that Hyunsoo is a strange person. Well, that's random, Jiwon lol. What comes next though...? Made me cry again. YES. This drama has made me cry 3 times in ONE episode, though I wasn't really sobbing here. Just really teary. This is all thanks to Lee Joongi's phenomenal acting.

Hyunsoo questions Jiwon to what extent she'd been following him and Jiwon answers since he met Noona in the abandoned building. She finally tells him she heard him say he's never loved her, not even for a second. Hyunsoo can't even bring himself to look at his wife as she explains she doesn't even know how she got home after hearing that. And he looks crushed by this. That was definitely something he never wanted Jiwon to hear. And then he starts to cry again. And Jiwon tenderly asks "Why are you crying again?" Hyunsoo literally says "I don't know." Because he doesn't. He needs Jiwon to help him understand because she's ALL he's ever had to actually help him understand, even if he was never truly open with her in their past, he's being entirely open now and Jiwon knows what guidance he needs. She tells him she knows why he's crying again.

"Because you love me."

Hyunsoo shakes his head pitifully and says in a broken voice "No. I'm not capable of that..."

Oh honey... you've been fed so many lies about what you are and aren't capable of that you believed them and believed yourself to be this awful person, and you are most certainly capable of love. What you're feeling right now is love. That's why you're crying again. Because you love her. Because the very idea of losing her sends you over the edge. You're even remorseful at the fact that she heard you say this. But baby, you do love her. You love her so much. Your love for her is one of the biggest reasons of why you have been so emotionally wrecked the whole night.  

Jiwon explains it all to him.

"You always wished for me to be happy."

Hyunsoo "Because I had to deceive you." But is that really it? No. I don't think so.

Jiwon brings up more memories. Stuff that he didn't even HAVE to do to try and deceive her. He just did it because that was his instinct. To protect her. To ease her suffering from loss.  

"When I was studying for the academy, I'd leave the library late at night... only to see you waiting for me outside. That's when... I felt that you truly... cared about me."

"When my dad suddenly passed away, it was as if darkness had painted my life. I was anxious all the time and angry at the world. Almost everythingmade me cry. But unlike everyone else, you never pressed me to get better or gave out advice. You learned how to cook instead and made me food. It was all delicious, and that's how I got better again. You love me. I can feel it." And Hyunsoo, tears rolling.

The way he looks at her... "I... love you." He brings her hand gently to his lips and places a tender kiss on her hand with his eyes never leaving her face. "I... love you, Jiwon-ah."

My god the way he says it, the delivery, the tears, the expression and Jiwon being so moved by finally hearing her husband say it, because he knows it. He believes it. He knows he loves his wife. He now understands that all this time, he wasn't deceiving her. He wasn't tricking her. He was doing these things out of love for her. He knows what real and true love feels like. He finally knows. He finally understands. And I just...

The growth and development of Hyunsoo here is just incredible. It's beautiful, it's heartwarming, it's heartbreaking, it's bittersweet, it's emotional and so powerful. So very powerful. Even when Jiwon tells him that tomorrow, there are people who are going to judge him, and he says those things don't bother him anymore, he doesn't care. Jiwon tells him:

"No matter what, don't forget. You are a warm person." And she's right. He is. So much warmer than anyone has ever realized. He's proved it time and time again in the way he takes care of his family. How he is with both his wife and his daughter. The tickling and playing with his family, making meals together, the comfort he provides Jiwon after rough days at work, all of the things we've seen him do for them. It was all because of the love and warmth in his heart for his family. It's just heartbreaking that never realized that this is what it was the whole entire time. I want to see him cuddle Eunha and tell her he loves her too. So badly.

Okay I had to chuckle a bit here when Hyunsoo tells Jiwon "You are even stranger than I am."

LOL My perfectly strange match made in heaven Hyunsoo and Jiwon. ♥ No matter how strange you both are, you are absolutely beautiful. Both of you. And your love can't be matched. Jiwon covers his hand and encourages him to continue telling her his story. She wants to know what happened next. He tells her about working delivery for a Chinese restaurant, and that he met a man Namsoo, and Jiwon eagerly wants to know when she comes in. He tells her to wait a little bit, because before he met her he had to go through 2 near death experiences... wait 2???

“Your path to me was not a stroll in the park.” “Jiwon. You’re the one thing in my life that’s the hardest to explain. It’s unrealistic. It doesn’t make sense.” Okay, so we know that one of those was when Nam Soongil tried to kill him over needing money... what was the one before that?? Oh this poor, precious man... Baby what did you go through? I hope he told Jiwon everything. But I do love hearing him tell her that Jiwon is a moment in his life that he can't explain. It's unreal, it doesn't make any sense. I'll bet they stayed up all night talking and crying and everything til they fell asleep in each other's arms. I love watching him stroke her hand with his thumb. They are just so honest, so pure and innocent, so perfect.

And it hurts in such a good way but a bad way too... because the next morning Detective Choi is pulling up to Hyunsoo and Jiwon's house and getting out of his car... to arrest Hyunsoo. Talk about ruining something so beautiful.

We switch back to Noona all worried that Moojin didn't answer his phone. She can't call Hyunsoo so when she can't get ahold of Moojin, it has her all up in arms. Then she wants to know what happened to his face. Oh, Haesoo... if only you knew, girl. Then she's asking Moojin if Hyunsoo is alright and I was like "NO HE IS NOT ALRIGHT. HE CRIED ALL NIGHT LONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE AND HE'S DISCOVERING HE HAS EMOTIONS AND CAN FEEL ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT DETECTIVE CHOI IS AT HIS HOUSE READY TO ARREST HIM!!!!" Noona, I adore you honey, but you need to turn yourself in. You need to turn yourself in and admit the whole entire situation to the police, including why you killed the village foreman so your brother can be free. He's an innocent man. He does not deserve to be locked up.

Now we are back to Hyunsoo sleeping peacefully. Makes me wonder if he cried and talked til he fell asleep last night. Ahhh I love to imagine missing scenes. Jiwon stroking his face and his hair til he finally goes to sleep. It would be so sweet, wouldn't it? Also, I'm loving their new bedclothes. First of all, my favorite color, second of all, new beginnings for them. I'm guessing Jiwon decided to change the bedclothes some time after they got home and settled in to bed for the night. It was perfect and gave a change of color than all the bleakness we've seen much of. It set the mood of the emotional pillow talk. But anyway...

Jiwon is on the phone with Detective Choi, she tells him she understands and then pleads gently with him to please not put handcuffs on her husband. Her wishes are that he takes him as quietly as possible with him. She tells him she'll come out in 30 minutes with him and Hyunsoo is waking up. I wonder if he heard all of that or not? Jiwon tells him Detective Choi is in front of their house. He accepts this quietly.

Next thing, we see them both pretty dressed to impress, looking like a power couple. I love the way they are clutching each other's hands. Jiwon is NOT shy about flaunting to the world that this is HER man. I love how Jiwon holds onto hers a little tighter around his, and Hyunsoo squeezes back while they both stare down Detective Choi with not a shred of emotion on their faces. Nice poker faces, you couple of badasses. Though Jiwon does have sort of a “don’t fuck with my husband” expression.

This episode was by far the BEST one so far of the whole drama and will likely end up being a favorite. I had so many emotions while watching it and the last time I cried like that through an episode of a drama was Moon Lovers. Lee Joongi never ceases to amaze me. I can't wait to see what next Wednesday brings us!! I am very nervous though... I don't want Hyunsoo to go to prison for something he is innocent of!! He needs to be at home caring for his family!

Please, writers and director, please please let them have happiness. Let them have a happy ending. I'm begging.

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

[tw-anchor]

22. The Kanima’s Master

Anchor

Stiles Stilinski x Original Character

Episode: 2x10; Fury

Word Count: 5,938

Warning(s): Mature language, canon violence, injuries

Author’s Note: Hope you enjoy! Don’t forget to reblog and like!

Masterlink in Profiles Description!

"So, this kid," Noah pointed at the yearbook slapped on Stiles' desk, page open with a bright red circle around Matt's picture. "he's the real killer?"

Stiles, Scott, and Olivia all looked at each other before nodding at him. "Yeah."

Noah shook his head. "No."

"Yes!"

"No."

Stiles sighed in frustration. "Dad, come on," he groaned, wishing his dad would just believe him one time. "Everybody knows that the police look for ways to connect victims with a murder, okay? So, all he had to do is, like, look through their transcripts and figure out which class they all had in common."

"Yeah, except for the fact that the rave promoter, Kara, wasn't in Harris' class," Noah crossed his arms over his chest.

"All right, okay. You're right, sorry," Stiles shrugged mockingly. "Then I guess they dropped the charges against him?"

Noah stared at him in frustration, wishing he could deny Stiles' claim; Stiles had seen the look on his face many times. "No, you know what, they're not dropping the charges," he conceded. "but that doesn't prove anything."

Stiles scoffed in disbelief and shared a wide-eyed look with Scott.

"Olivia," Olivia perked up when the sheriff addressed her, "do you believe any of this?"

"Yes, sir," she nodded. "It's difficult to explain but you have to trust your son."

Stiles gave her a grateful look to which she nodded back at him.

"We know it's Matt," Scott added in support.

"Yeah, he took Harris' car, okay," Stiles shared his theory with Noah. "Look, he knew that if a cop found tire tracks at one of the murders, and that if enough of the victims were in Harris' class, that they'd arrest him."

"Matt Daehler's smart, Sheriff Stilinski," Olivia stated. "He's not the run of the mill type of lacrosse player."

Stiles gave her an offended look. "Uh, was that supposed to be a slight against me and Scott, 'cause I think it—"

"Stiles, really?"

"Right, right," Stiles turned back to his dad expectantly.

"All right, fine," Noah sighed. "I'll allow the remote possibility but give me a motive. I mean, why would this kid want most of the 2006 swim team and its coach dead?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Stiles gestured wildly. "Our swim team sucks! They haven't won in, like, six years."

Olivia cocked her head thoughtfully while Noah gave his son an unimpressed look. She thought about how Mr. Lahey had abused Isaac ever since his mother died; who's to say the man didn't take out some aggression on other kids, too?

"Okay, so, we don't have a motive yet," Stiles' shoulders slumped. "I mean, come on, does Harris?"

Noah pressed his lips together and looked down at Matt's picture in the yearbook. "What do you want me to do?"

Olivia perked up, surprised that Sheriff Stilinski gave into his son's explanation. Before, it hadn't looked like he was going to. Stiles whipped around to grin at her and Scott, obviously speechless.

"We need to look at the evidence," Scott requested, more composed than Stiles; Stiles nodded rapidly.

"Yeah, that would be in the station where I no longer work."

"Trust me, they'll let you in," Stiles said earnestly.

Noah raised an eyebrow at him. "Trust you?"

"T-Trust Scott or Olivia?" Stiles stammered, pointing to them.

Noah exhaled through his nose before pointing at Olivia. "Olivia, I trust."

"Really?" Stiles asked in surprise; he didn't blame his dad for trusting her because it was Olivia but she and Noah had hardly spoken to each other. "You hardly know her."

"You wanna go to the station or not?" Noah challenged him.

"Oh, yeah, uh, definitely—I definitely want to go to the station."

Noah left the room and Olivia followed after him, sending Stiles a cute smile and teasingly poking out her tongue at him. Stiles sighed as he watched her leave his room before turning to Scott, "I'm gonna marry that girl someday."

Scott chuckled and clapped his shoulder. "Sure, you will, buddy."

-

Since there was only one murder that the kanima didn't commit himself, they started with footage from the hospital first. They were hoping that the cameras placed in every hallway would have captured Matt on the way to murder Jessica, the woman who Jackson couldn't kill because she was pregnant.

The deputy that had desk duty that night had taken only a minute for Noah to convince her to let him into his office. From there, Noah was allowed to access all of the evidence that the police were building for this case.

"I don't know, guys," Noah sighed after watching twenty minutes of footage, none of which had Matt in it. "I mean, look at this. There was a six-car pileup that night, the hospital was jammed."

"Just keep going," Stiles urged. "Look, he had to have passed one of the cameras on that floor to get to Jessica, okay? He's gotta be on the footage somewhere."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at the computer, watching one of the figures storm down the hall. "Hold on, stop and scroll back," she requested, pointing out the guy she had been eyeing. "I'm pretty sure that's him."

"That's him!" Stiles agreed as soon as he took a closer look. "That's Matt."

"All I see is the back of someone's head."

"Matt's head, yeah," Stiles told his father. "I sit behind him in history. He's got a very distinct cranium, it's weird."

Noah looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you crazy?"

"Matt has a weird walk, though," Olivia told the sheriff. "It's like he's always in a rush to murder someone."

"His walk," Noah's voice was flat; Olivia bit the inside of her cheek.

"Fine, then look at his jacket," Stiles pointed at the footage again. "How many people do you know who wear black leather jackets?"

"Millions, literally."

"Okay," Scott interjected. "can we scroll forward? There's gotta be a shot of him coming at one of the cameras."

Noah clicked play and the footage went on for a couple of seconds before Stiles stopped him again.

"Right there!" he exclaimed; Noah stopped the footage. "See, there he is again."

"You mean there's the back of his head again," Noah corrected him.

"Okay, but he's talking to someone."

Scott peered over Stiles' shoulder. "He's talking to my mom."

Within seconds, Scott was on the phone, asking him mom about her run-in with Matt.

"Scott, you know how many people I deal with in a day?" Melissa asked incredulously.

"This one's sixteen, he's got dark hair, looks like a normal teenager—"

"Yeah, he looks evil," Stiles enthusiastically cut Scott off.

Olivia grabbed his shoulders, pulling him away from the phone. She ignored the accusing look he had given her and pressed a finger to her lips in a signal to be quiet.

"Scott, I already talked to the police about this."

"Mom, I'm gonna take a picture and send it to you," Scott quickly took a picture of Matt in the yearbook and sent it to his mom. "Did you get it?"

"Yeah."

"Do you recognize him?" Scott asked. "Do you remember him?"

"Yeah, I did," Melissa confirmed. "I mean, I remember I stopped him because he was tracking mud in the hall...Scott, what's going on?"

"It's—It's nothing, Mom," Scott assured her while Stiles, Noah, and Olivia exchanged looks. "I'll explain later. I gotta go."

He quickly ended the call and shoved his phone in his pocket.

Noah hurriedly grabbed one of the files in the pile next to him. "We've got shoe prints alongside the tire tracks at the trailer site."

"And if they match, that puts Matt at the scene of three murders," Stiles continued thoughtfully. "The trailer, the hospital, and the rave."

"Actually, four," Noah corrected him. "A credit card receipt for an oil change was signed by Matt at the garage where the mechanic was killed."

"When?"

"A couple hours before you got there," Noah checked the file for confirmation.

Stiles shook excitedly and Olivia couldn't help but smile at him. This was his thing. Like her thing was science, his thing was solving cases—full blown detective work that impressed the hell out of her.

"All right, Dad," he said quickly. "if one's an incident, two's a coincidence, and three's a pattern, what's four?"

Noah slammed the case file shut. "Four's enough for a warrant," he stated before looking at Scott and Olivia. "Scott, call your mom back and see how quick she can get here. If I can get an official ID, I can get a search warrant. Olivia, you go to the front desk. Tell them to let Scott's mom in when she gets here."

Olivia nodded firmly. "On it."

Olivia left Noah's office, heading down the hallway that they had traveled to get there. To her surprise, the young deputy who let them in wasn't at the desk like before. And when she turned around, there weren't any night-duty cops in their wreck room, either.

"Hello?" she called softly.

Tingles started erupting all over her body, goosebumps covering her skin.

Olivia.

Olivia followed the voice whispering in her ear, turning around to see that Matt Daehler had been behind her, aiming a cocked gun to her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, she whimpered mentally.

"Matt," she breathed, trying to keep her fear from showing on her face. "Let's talk about this."

"Let's not," Matt said sharply, a single tear falling from his eye. "Why don't you lead me back to the Sheriff's office?"

Olivia nodded and slowly raised her hands so Matt could see that she wasn't going to try anything. Matt gestured down the hall with his free hand and she instantly started walking, leading him back to Noah's office where the boys were waiting for her.

She tried not to freak out, taking deep breaths and telling herself to be calm. She didn't know if it was the breathing or if her anchor powers could work on her, too, but she did feel herself calming down the slightest bit. She wasn't panicked but she was still on edge.

Who wouldn't be with a gun held to their back?

Olivia heard Scott tell Stiles and Noah that his mom was on her way to the station as she walked into the office. The Stilinski men weren't able to respond to Scott, spotting Olivia' predicament right away; Scott followed their eyes, his own widening when he saw Matt and the gun he aimed at Olivia.

Olivia could see Stiles clenching his jaw and shifting angrily. She really hoped he wouldn't lose his temper and make Matt even angrier.

"Matt?" Noah's voice was calm, the antithesis of Stiles' expression. "It's Matt, right?" Matt nodded cockily. "Matt, whatever's going on, I guarantee you there's a solution that doesn't involve a gun."

"You know, it's funny you say that," Matt scoffed. "I don't think you're aware of just how right you are."

Noah had no idea what Matt was talking about but Olivia, Stiles, and Scott knew.

"I know you don't wanna hurt people."

"Actually, I wanna hurt a lot of people," Matt disagreed. "You four weren't on my list but I could be persuaded."

Olivia flinched as Matt pushed her away from him with the barrel of his gun, urging her toward Stiles and Scott. Stiles instantly grabbed her hand, pulling her close to him in case Matt had any ideas.

"And one way is to try dialing somebody on your cell phone like McCall is doing," Matt snapped, seeing movement in Scott's jean pocket. "That—that could definitely get someone hurt. Everyone," he pointed his gun on the desk, wanting them to give up their phones. "Now!"

The four of them put their phones on Noah's desk. Matt then marched them out of the office, down the hallway, to the holding room, where he made Noah sit on one of the benches just a few feet away from the two holding cells. He had Stiles put handcuffs on him, attaching him to the metal bar right behind him.

"Tighter," Matt ordered, pointing his gun at Stiles when Stiles clasped the cuff loosely around Noah's wrist.

"Do what he says, Stiles," Noah nodded at his son.

Stiles rolled his eyes and tightened the cuff before looking at Matt expectantly. Matt scowled at him and grabbed Olivia's shoulder, pushing her out of the holding room. Stiles and Scott were quick to join the line behind her as Matt herded them to the front desk.

As they were walking by one of the hallways, Olivia stopped in her tracks, horrified by what she saw. The three night-duty deputies, plus the one who was manning the desk, were all dead, their stomachs slashed to shreds. The kanima was in the station, too.

Scott gaped at the sight of them. "What, are you gonna kill everyone in here?" he looked back at Matt incredulously.

"No, that's what Jackson's for," Matt remarked. "I just think about killing them and he does it."

Olivia bit the inside of her cheek, desperately wanting to comment about how one of her closest friends wasn't just a murder slave. But she didn't—they couldn't have the situation escalating. She had to be calm, cool, and collected and she would be. She didn't hide her emotions all the time for nothing.

Matt pushed on Stiles' back, sending him into Scott, who fell into Olivia. She jumped forward, getting the hint that Matt wanted them walking again. They walked around the front desk and down another hallway, entering what looked to be a shared office.

"What is it that you wanna do, Matt?" Stiles spoke up, unable to keep quiet any longer. "Or are you just gonna parade us around the station a couple of times? I've seen it plenty, it's nothing special."

"Shut up, Stilinski," Matt pushed him toward the desk with the computer. "I want you three to delete the evidence. Anything relating to all of this, I want gone."

Stiles, Olivia, and Scott shared a look; if that evidence was gone so was the case against Matt.

"Get going!" Matt raised his voice.

Stiles went to the computer, deleting the evidence stored on the hard drive while Scott and Olivia started on the files, going through them for anything to do with the case. One the evidence was collected, they shredded it all under Matt's watchful gaze.

"Deleted and we're done," Stiles tapped a key on the computer and aimed his heated gaze at Matt. "All right, so, Matt, since all the people you brutally murdered deserved it because they killed you first—whatever the fuck that means—we're good here, right? We'll get my dad and we'll go, you know? You continue on the whole vengeance thing. Enjoy the kanima."

Just as Stiles finished speaking, a car pulled into the lot, it's headlights flashing through the blinds in the window.

Matt's eyes flickered over to Scott. "Sounds like your mom's here, McCall."

"Matt, don't do this," Scott pleaded roughly. "When she comes to the door, I'll just tell her to leave. I'll tell her we didn't find anything."

The door that led to the wreck room groaned loudly as it was opened.

Matt glared at Scott. "If you don't move, now, I'm gonna kill Olivia first, then Stiles, and then your mom," he gestured out of the office. "Let's go."

And so they marched back to the wreck room.

"Open it," Matt ordered Scott when he hesitated at the door.

"Please, Matt—"

"Open. The. Door."

A phantom sting raced across the back of Olivia's neck, causing her to wince. The feel of it was familiar, not because it was happening to her, but because it had happened to Derek before.

Scott opened the door, revealing Derek standing behind it.

"Oh, thank God."

"Derek!" Olivia lunged toward her cousin, hoping to catch him as he fell forward but Matt quickly tugged her back. Derek hit the floor on his back and glared at Matt with angry pale-green eyes.

"This is the one controlling him?" he grunted as Jackson—half in his kanima form—entered behind him. "This kid?"

Matt let go of Olivia, pushing her toward Jackson, and leaned over Derek. "Well, Derek, not everyone's lucky enough to be a big, bad werewolf."

Olivia hid the surprise on her face, though Matt could easily see it on Stiles and Scott.

"Yeah, that's right," he nodded proudly. "I've learned a few things lately. Werewolves, hunters, kanimas, whatever the hell Olivia is...It's like a fucking Halloween party every full moon," he caught Stiles rolling his eyes. "Except for you, Stiles. What do you turn into?"

Please do not sass him, Olivia pleaded mentally as she side-eyed Stiles.

That was exactly what he did. "An abominable snowman," he told Matt dryly. "But, uh, it's more of a wintertime thing, you know? Seasonal."

Stiles...

Matt nodded at Jackson; from behind Olivia, he reached for the back of Stiles' neck and slashed his skin. When Olivia and Scott moved to stop him, the kanima was quick to push them away. Stiles fell right on top of Derek, paralyzed just like the alpha.

"You bitch," Stiles' voice was warbled since his face was smushed against Derek's chest.

Derek just seemed very annoyed with the whole situation. "Get him off of me."

"Oh, I don't know, Derek," Matt drawled, amused. "I think you two make a pretty good pair," Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, not seeing the same thing as Matt apparently did, and Derek just blinked flatly. "It must kinda suck, though, to have all that power taken away from you with just a little cut to the back of the neck. I bet you're not used to feeling this helpless."

"Still got some teeth," Derek snarked back at him. "Why don't you get down here a little closer, huh? We'll see how helpless I am."

"Yeah, bitch," Stiles grunted.

"Matt," Olivia spoke up, keeping her voice calm; Matt turned to her with expectant eyes. "We deleted the evidence and you obviously have the upper hand, here. You got what you wanted so just let us go."

Matt scoffed. "You didn't think that would work, did you, Olivia?" he asked mockingly as a vehicle pulled up to the station. He paused and turned to smirk at Scott, distracted. "Is that her?"

Scott inhaled deeply, knowing that his mom had finally arrived; Olivia reached for his hand, trying to offer some kind of support.

"Do what I tell you to and I won't hurt her," Matt ordered him. "I won't even let Jackson near her."

"Scott, don't trust him!" Stiles yelled from his place on Derek's chest.

Matt gritted his teeth and grabbed the back of Stiles' shirt, flipping him around and off of Derek's chest so his back was on the floor. He placed his dirty shoe against Stiles' throat, applying pressure.

Stiles, Stiles, Stiles.

"Does this work better for you?" Matt shouted at Scott as Stiles choked underneath him.

"Stop," Olivia rubbed her ear, her free hand going to her throat. "Matt, stop!"

Stiles, Stiles, Stiles.

Stiles' face was rapidly turning red, the vein in his forehead popping out as he continued to choke.

"Okay, just stop!" Scott yelled.

"Then do what I tell you to!"

"Okay, all right," Scott agreed; Matt continued to hold pressure. "Stop!"

Matt took his foot away from Stiles' throat. Olivia fell to her knees beside him as he gasped sharply, placing a cool hand on his red cheek to make sure he was okay.

"Get up," Matt roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet before looking over at Jackson. "Take them in there," he nodded at Scott. "You and Olivia are with me."

Matt pushed them out of the wreck room and into the lobby just as Melissa was entering the station.

"Mom?"

Melissa looked away from her phone and sighed in relief when she saw Scott and Olivia walk out. "You scared me. Where is every—"

"Mom," he cut her off as Matt appeared behind them, gun aimed at Scott's back; Melissa bristled, looking absolutely terrified. "just do what he says. He promised he wouldn't hurt you."

"He's right," Matt agreed before cocking his gun and shooting Scott. "but I didn't say I wouldn't hurt you."

Olivia gasped as Melissa screamed and Scott fell to the floor, her stomach tingling. She ignored the whispers of Scott's name to kneel down next to him, putting pressure on the steadily growing blood stain on his green shirt.

"SCOTT?" she heard Noah yell from the holding room. "OLIVIA? STILES?"

Melissa went to help her but was stopped when Matt aimed his gun at her. "Back, back!"

"Ms. McCall, stop," Olivia pleaded, pushing her hands against Scott's wound. She didn't want Melissa to get hurt and Matt would do it. He had proved his violent tendencies with all of the people he had Jackson kill. "Please, stop."

"I said get back!"

"Scott..." Melissa's wet eyes were stuck on her son.

"Mom, do it," Scott told her. "Please, Mom."

"He's gonna be okay, Ms. McCall," Olivia assured her just to keep her away.

Melissa stayed back, not moving another inch. Satisfied, Matt turned back to Olivia and Scott, lowering his gun to aim it at Olivia. "Get up," he snapped at her. "You too, McCall."

"Matt?" Noah called, trying to get anyone's attention. "Matt, listen to me—"

"Shut up! Everyone shut the fuck up!" Matt screamed before giving Olivia and Scott his attention once again. "Now, get up, or I'll shoot you and her next."

Olivia nodded shakily, let go of Scott's wound, and scooped her hands under his armpits so she could lift him to his feet. "Okay, we're up. We're up."

"We're putting her in the holding cell," Matt gestured to Melissa. "Let's go."

Olivia was the one to put Melissa in the holding cell; Matt's gun was at her back while she slid the lock into place, making sure she did it correctly so Melissa couldn't get out.

"Please, he needs to see a doctor," Melissa begged Matt.

Matt snorted. "You think so?"

"Hey!" Noah barked, not liking the way he talked to Melissa; he jumped to his feet, his left arm still cuffed to the metal bar, and pointed at him. "You listen to me—"

"Stop, stop!" Olivia cut them off before Matt could get more pissed. "He'll be okay."

"He's clearly not okay!" Melissa argued tearfully, pointing at Scott, who was still clutching his stomach.

But Melissa didn't know what Olivia knew; Scott's name wasn't being whispered to her. His wound was healing and he'd be fine in a matter of minutes.

"Mom, it doesn't hurt," Scott assured his mother.

"That's because of the adrenaline," Melissa shook her head. "Please, let me—let me take a look at him, okay? I mean, at least let me stop the bleeding."

Matt laughed and looked back at Scott in disbelief. "They have no idea, do they?"

"Just let me take a quick look—"

"SHUT UP!" Matt roared at her, lunging toward the cell. "Lady, if you keep talking, I'm gonna put the next bullet through his head."

"Hey!" Olivia pushed against him, sending him skidding back a couple of inches from her. "Back off!"

She could be calm but she wasn't about to let this guy bully Scott's mom. She was clearly desperate, thinking her son was going to die, and not thinking about her own safety. Olivia would, though. She wouldn't let Matt hurt Melissa.

Matt scrambled toward her, throwing back his hand with the gun and backhanded her with the butt of it.

"HEY!"

"LIV!"

Olivia cried out as she fell to the floor, holding her aching cheek. The pain was bad but it was bearable. She had never been shot before, but she knew that she would feel worse if he had shot her like he did Scott. She sucked in a few desperate breaths to keep the stinging in her eyes at bay. She wasn't going to cry in front of this asshole.

"Liv, are you okay?" Scott asked worriedly.

"Get up," Matt snarled at her again before she could answer Scott.

Olivia glared at him and let go of her face, getting to her feet. He pushed her toward Scott and she grabbed him to steady herself, inhaling deeply. She nodded at Scott, silently telling him that she was okay.

"Both of you, back to the front," Matt ordered. "Let's go!"

Back in the front room, Matt pushed Olivia and Scott past Stiles and Derek where they were laying on the floor. They were both still paralyzed and they were both visibly fuming, though the lack of sensation in their bodies led them unable to do anything to Matt.

"The evidence is gone," Olivia spat at Matt, repeating her earlier words. "Why don't you just go?"

"You—you think the evidence mattered that much?" Matt scoffed, shaking his head. "No, no, I-I want the book."

"What?" Scott was confused; so was Olivia, for that matter. "What book?"

"The bestiary," Matt told them. "Not just a few pages, I want the entire thing."

"That's Argent's bestiary," Olivia could not believe they were going through all of this for a glorified dictionary written in archaic Latin. "We don't have access."

"What do you want it for, anyway?"

Matt glowered at Olivia and answered Scott, "I need answers."

"Answers to what?"

Matt lifted his striped t-shirt, revealing his stomach covered in scales just like Jackson's. "To this."

Olivia wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Look, you want to talk to the Argents? Be my fucking guest. Good luck," she glared at Matt. "but we don't have the answers for you so let us go."

Matt just shook his head and raised his gun to her head, cocking it. "Give me your phone," he told Scott. "or I'll blow her brains out."

Okay, so, that was a bad idea, Olivia admitted to herself as she stared down the barrel of the gun. What happened to cool, calm, and collected? Show no fear, Liv. Damn it, do not cry.

The problem with Matt demanding Scott's phone was that they had already given them to him when he first showed up. It was Stiles who was the one to remind the psycho about that. Luckily, he did so with no sarcasm, otherwise Olivia was sure she would have gotten a bullet to the head.

After marching Scott and Olivia back to Noah's office, he texted Allison on Scott's phone, asking her to bring the bestiary to the station.

"There," Matt threw Scott's phone back on the desk and walked them to the bullpen where the deputies usually did their work. "You know, I feel sorry for you, McCall. Cause right now, you're thinking about how you're gonna explain to your mom that you healed."

Scott looked down at his wound; the blood had trailed down from under his stained shirt and had dripped onto his jeans, too.

"The sad part is, you don't even realize how incredible it is that you're actually healing," Matt went on. "Cause you know what happens to everyone else when they get shot? They die."

Olivia eyed him carefully, noticing how he had emphasized the last word of his statement. And then she remembered the conversation at the rave. When he had told them—through Jackson—that people had killed him.

"You died, didn't you?" she asked, her mind racing. She thought about how he was afraid of water. "How did you drown?"

Matt shook his head slightly. "He shouldn't have let them drink."

"What?" Scott furrowed his eyebrows. "Who?"

"You're talking about Mr. Lahey, aren't you?" Olivia guessed. "He let the swim team drink?"

Matt nodded in confirmation. "I didn't know what was happening," he revealed. "I didn't know they had just won state and Lahey, he's letting his favorites come over to have a couple of drinks to celebrate. Who cares if they're seventeen, right?"

Scott cocked his head. "Were you at Isaac's?"

"He had this first edition Spider-Man—or was it Batman?" Matt recalled. "And we were gonna make a trade but then I went over there and I heard music. Everyone was having a good time and I saw Sean. He threw Jessica in the pool. And then—and then Bennett went in and—"

"Bennett?" Scott interrupted. "The hunter?"

"And then Camden, Isaac's jarhead brother," Matt continued as if Scott hadn't spoken. "He grabbed me. He thought it was funny."

Olivia pressed her lips together. "He threw you in."

"I-I yelled that I couldn't swim but nobody listened. I went under and I swallowed water and no one cared," tears drip down Matt's face. "I-I saw that Jessica had her hands down Sean's board shorts. Tucker was grabbing Kara. And I was drowning. I was dying and they were laughing."

The sadness, the complete devastation in Matt's tone made Olivia swallow harshly. Nothing justified him making Jackson kill these people but there was a part of her that understood. They had done something horrible to him and he got his revenge.

"All of a sudden, I was just—I was lying by the pool with Mr. Lahey right above me. He said to tell no one and that it was my fault," Matt face crumpled as he imitated Mr. Lahey, "'What little bastard doesn't know how to swim? You tell no one!' And I didn't. I didn't tell anyone," he shook his head, disgusted. "I would see them at school and they wouldn't even look at me. I'd wake up in the middle of the night, I'd gasp for breath. And my parents, they thought I was an asthmatic. They—they even gave me an inhaler. They didn't know that every time I closed my eyes, I was drowning..."

Olivia wished that Matt would have told his parents about what happened. She wished that they could have gotten him help. She wished that he hadn't turned into this person.

"You know about that little white light that they talk about, the one you see when you die?" Matt looked to Olivia and Scott; both of them nodded. "Well, I didn't see anything. Just darkness. Everything was dark...but then—then came the Argent's funeral and everything changed."

"What do you mean?" Olivia didn't know what he was talking about. How would Kate's funeral change everything?

"I was taking some photos and then, purely by accident, Lahey got in one of the photos," Matt told her. "I looked down at the screen on my camera and I just had this unbelievable rage inside of me. I-I just looked at him and I wanted to see him dead...The next day, he actually was."

"You know, Einstein was right," he said thoughtfully. "Imagination is more important that knowledge. It was like something out of Greek mythology. Like—like the furies coming down to punish Orestes."

Scott shot Olivia a confused look and Matt caught it.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" he deadpanned at him.

"Was he the guy who stabbed out his eyes?"

"That was Oedipus," Olivia corrected him. "Furies are deities of vengeance. Their tears were blood and they had snakes as their hair. If a crime went unpunished, the furies would punish the instigator."

"Jackson is my fury," Matt declared, earning himself a disgusted look from Olivia. "You know, when I saw him the next night, it was like this bond had been cemented between the two of us. I knew he had killed Lahey for me and I knew he would do it again. So, I went to Tucker's garage," he scoffed. "I even paid for an oil change and guess what? He didn't even recognize me. So, when he wasn't looking, I took a shot of him from my camera. In a few hours, he was dead...So I took more pictures. All I had to do was take their picture and Jackson would take their life."

The lights flashed for a second before going out altogether. The station was bathed in darkness except for the few emergency lights.

"What is this?" Matt freaked out as Olivia looked around nervously. "What is this? What's happening? What's going on?"

"I don't know!" Scott told him.

A car pulled into the station's parking lot, its headlights flashing through the windows. Olivia barely had enough time to see more vehicles coming in before she was ducking to avoid the bullets being shot at the window. She ducked down behind a desk with Scott at her side, both of them looking at each other with wide, frightened eyes.

There was a flash as a couple of canisters were thrown through the window the bullets had just broken through. Smoke erupted out of them and within seconds, the room was full of it. Olivia coughed into her arm and tugged on Scott's sleeve, yelling, "Come on!"

Scott ran out of the room first, running straight to Jackson so Olivia could get around him. She dashed into the room where Stiles and Derek were being kept and knelt next to Stiles.

"Take him," Derek urged her. "Go!"

Olivia nodded and gathered Stiles' arms just as Scott joined them and Derek ran from the room. Scott helped Stiles to his feet and carried half of his weight as he and Olivia dragged him through the station with Jackson on their tail.

"Here, here, here," Olivia pointed to an upcoming room. They entered and set Stiles on one of the chairs. Scott quickly ran out of the room to see what was going on but Olivia stayed for a second. "I'm gonna go check on your dad and Ms. McCall," she told him. "Don't move, okay?"

"Seriously?" Stiles glared at her.

"Sorry," she quickly apologized before leaving the room and making sure the door was shut firmly behind her.

The smoke wasn't as bad the further she walked through the station to get to the holding room but she couldn't just worry about that. She had come across two grown men with huge-ass guns stalking through the building, looking for someone to shoot. She had to be careful when turning down halls and entering rooms.

Since they were already in the police station, she figured that the Argents were behind this attack. She was proven right when she turned into another hallway and ran into Allison.

She raised her hands when Allison aimed her bow at her. "Allison," she eyed the sharp arrowhead. "What are you doing?"

"Where's Derek?"

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. "What? What are you even—"

"Where is Derek?" Allison spat at her with hard eyes. "Tell me where he is, Olivia."

"I don't know, Allison! What the hell is going on? What happened?"

She had come to trust the youngest Argent against her better judgement because she liked Allison. They were friends, good friends. They had sleepovers and study dates and talked to each other on the phone at night when they needed someone to talk to. And now her friend was pointing an arrow at her.

Allison's grip dropped and her eyes softened slightly. "You have to stay away from me, Olivia," she warned the shorter brunette. "I—it'll be safer for you if you just stay out of the way."

"What are you talking about?" Olivia was completely confused; Allison didn't answer as she pushed past her and stomped down the hallway. "Allison!"

Something else was going on that had Allison pulling an Anakin Skywalker ala Revenge of the Sith. If it had Allison turning on her friends, on Scott, then they were all in trouble.

(Gif is not mine)

[honeypiehotchner]

EPISODE FIVE i swear to god i’m so mad at Matthew

Here’s the funny thing: I’ve read the books (all but the third one) and so I knew he would leave her after she said she loved him because he does in the book

But that doesn’t make me any less pissed off with him

Anyway

He doesn’t have a right to look this good when I’m mad at him

Oh fuck Ysabeau is taking her hunting this is actually going to happen

Lord Matthew is going to be livid once he hears about this

“Dominico can go to hell.” Damn right

“I know that scent.” Oh fucking great he’s gonna go murder Gillian isn’t he? Or someone else

Oop called it he’s going after Gillian

Damn in the book it was so well hidden and now we’re going to actually see it FUCK

Wait hold on Matthew is scaring me

Yeah color me TERRIFIED

Matthew is so goddamn tall

Ohhhh duh to see if she took anything

Fuck this is properly terrifying

I’d rather watch Ysabeau hunt than I would Matthew

Fuck

“If you’re trying to frighten me away from your son, you failed.” Damn

WAIT is Gillian still fucking alive

Or like just barely good god

Goodness this conversation between her and Sarah and Em when she says that she loves Matthew will forever break my heart

She genuinely can’t help it and it hurts me that he’s acting the way he is and she can’t find support anywhere

Oh fuck now we’re with Hamish

“She loves me. Or she says she does.”

“And do you love her?”

“Oh christ, Matthew.”

“I know.”

This episode is wrecking me y’all and we are a whopping 12 minutes in

“Honestly Hamish she is astonishingly powerful. And she’s clever and funny. She’s full of courage.” He is a fucking GONER

“There are many things in life that one can control. Love is not one of them.” Yes Hamish talk some sense into this boy

Okay now I’m 🥺🥺🥺 because Ysabeau is warming up and taking Diana on a walk through the village

What a mother-daughter moment

Oh fuck is this where he fell (killed himself, or tried to)

God my heart hurts for Matthew when I think about what he’s been through

I know Ysabeau means well but now I’m crying again

Satu also terrifies me but in the sense that she’s genuinely out of her fucking mind

Sophie and Nathan have my entire heart

Oh here Diana goes looking through Matthew’s things

The only reason I don’t mind her invading his privacy this way is because he did it first LMAO

Why is he smelling one single strand of hair

Is that Diana’s I’m going to end it all

I cannot take this why does he look so goddamn GOOD

“I don’t want you to worry about that.” Matthew please stop

NOT THIS SONG are they trying to make my heart physically break right now

This is actually killing me

So he’s finally going to analyze her blood

The veins in his arms what the FUCK

YES GO BACK TO HER AND PLEASE KISS HER BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND

THE DIFFERENCE IN HAND SIZE THIS IS MY ONE WEAKNESS IRL AND ITS HAPPENING HERE GOOD FUCKING GOD

He knows exactly what he’s doing to all of us

Oh fuck Ysabeau

“And you are now my daughter.” I’M TEARING UP AGAIN

“The women of the de Clairmont family defend themselves. You will be no different.” HELL YEAH

Oh to be kissing the one I love by firelight...

Oh great now he’s talking about Bundling

I’m gonna scream

“Diana...you might not like what you see.” This man is so broken that it’s making me sad

Oh his BODY looks this good too? Fucking annoying ass

Okay I’m pausing to say that I’m glad they haven’t taken away Diana’s dominance!! It’s shown in the books so well and I was worried with this being ~mainstream television~ that they’d try to knock it down a few knotches (especially in the bedroom), but thank goodness they have not. I love seeing a woman like this for once

THEY ARE TOO MUCH TOGETHER

“I don’t think that’s bundling.” PLEASE I’m SWEATING

Wow that was hot...anywho yes what’s this scene a party?

I can’t focus

Oh great it’s Juliette

Juliette is so deranged

I like to imagine Vampires sleep sort of like horses. Horses won’t lay down and really rest unless they feel comfortable enough to. Matthew not sleeping until this night where he’s by Diana’s side has that same energy to me

Oh lord she got up to run. Is this where she gets captured?

Yep it is I called it

Man that’s an EVIL ending to an episode

Final Thoughts

First of all: Good fucking hell that scene was HOT I am literally sweating

Aside from Diana being captured right in the last few seconds, I think this has to be my favorite episode. For some reason I just loved watching this one more than the others 🥺

First a shower, and then I’ll probably be watching episode 6 tonight 😗

[fxckingfinan]

So It Goes (Stilinski) - Chapter 2

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Summary: Everything seems normal to the naked eye when referencing Beacon Hills, almost boring if you were to ask the residents. However, it’s what lies beneath the surface. When Y/n and her two best friends Scott and Stiles are thrown into the adventure of a lifetime. Secrets come out, and changes are made. And to think it all started with half a body. (Season 1)

Word Count: 3,364

Warnings: A couple swear words, very very brief description of blood, angst if you squint

--

As Y/n stumbled through the woods trying to find her two idiots friends, she quickly realized how awful of an idea it was to go dead body hunting. She also realized it's a particularly awful idea to wear slippers whilst doing so. She rubbed her sweatshirt clad arms attempting to get rid of the rising goosebumps. Stupidly enough she never realized how cold it could get at night. 

Y/n was never one to think the woods were creepy. Until now. It was eerily quiet, apart from the occasional sound of leaves shaking. The small breeze disturbing the (almost) peaceful forest. It was quiet. Far too quiet for comfort. This was the woods, an area usually bursting with life from the treetops to the dirt-covered floor. She waited for anything to cut the thick silence. Birds, squirrels, anything rustling through the leaves that had fallen. Yet nothing was doing so except her hard breathing and a heavy heart.

The girl furrowed her eyebrows, stopping in place when she heard more sticks breaking behind her. For a second she was almost relieved to hear movement. She was relieved until she realized she should be alone and the sound of heavy breathing reached her ears. The sharp panting sounding anything but human. Her eyes widened as she let out a ragged breath, unable to ignore the gut-wrenching fear she felt. 

Slowly she turned around, her body stiff. Crimson red eyes met with her fear-stricken orbs, taking her breath away completely. Her feet stumbled backward when the creature let out a snarl. Body turning itself around before her mind had fully registered what was going on. Not even seconds later breaking into a full sprint through the dark woods. 

"Shitshitshitshit" Y/n’s breathing was labored as she ran, wincing as a branch scraped her arm. Closing her eyes she prayed to any god out there, ’for the love of god please don’t let me die out here’. She closed her eyes for only a second before running smack dab into something, causing her to fall harshly onto her back. A whine emitting from her throat as any air she held in her lungs was stolen from her. For a second Y/n thought she was dead; whatever the hell that was had caught up to her and killed her before she even had the chance to scream. 

"You sure do know how to make an entrance." Her eyes snapped up to meet the faces of Stiles and Scott. Letting out a heavy breath of relief, before shooting up off the ground and pulling her brother into a bone-crushing hug. 

She was alive. 

"Shut up. I've never been so happy to see you two in my life" She mumbled into his collar bone before he peeled her off of his body. He kept her an arm's length away to look her over. Clearly taking notice of the small scrapes on her arms. Familiar crimson dots of blood forming along the small lines.

"Why were you running-" Scott started, concern lacing his voice. She was a wreck. Her usually pink cheeks had turned into a bright red. As if someone whipped cherry juice onto them. A stark contrast to the rest of her face which was visibly paled from fear. If she hadn’t just been running for her life she might’ve been embarrassed about her disheveled state. Maybe.

“Guys c’mon!” Stiles broke away from the two, quickly running ahead. 

“Stiles-“ Scott called out, dragging Y/n with him as he attempted to follow his spastic friend. Quickly forgetting that his sister had been so helpless just seconds before. He followed closely right up until a cop came into sight catching Stiles immediately. The police canine snapped at Stiles aggressively startling him enough to knock him onto his back. Scott quickly dipped behind a tree, shielding himself from the police officer. 

“Hang on, hang on... This little delinquent belongs to me.” Officer Stilinski’s voice was gruff. Quite the opposite of his sons. 

“Dad, how’re you doing?” Stiles asked nonchalantly.

Naturally, Y/n tried to scoot in next to Scott as the father and son conversed; it would’ve worked. If Scott hadn’t shoved her out immediately into the sights of Officer Stilinski. 

Asshole.

“Y/n?” She froze like a deer in headlights as the sheriff addressed her. Awkwardly raising her hand in a small wave as she found her place next to Stiles. She would have to settle for yelling at Scott later. Though she couldn’t shake the thought of whatever terrifying monster she had encountered, Y/n tried to stay calm and engaged in her current situation. “So not only are you listening to my phone calls, but you’re dragging an innocent with you?”

“No!” Stiles wheezed before hesitating, “Not the boring ones. And how do you know this wasn’t her idea and I’m the innocent one?” 

Y/n’s head snapped to the boy beside her. Crossing her arms before kicking at his leg. A wince sounded from him as she returned her eyes to Sheriff Stilinski. What was with these two throwing her under the bus? 

“So where is your usual partner in crime?” He continued, choosing to ignore the prior comment Stiles made. Stiles’ dad was clearly unimpressed with his son, his facing conveying that clear enough. It was almost comical to Y/n that he was so used to his son's shenanigans. 

“Who, Scott? Scott's home. He said he wanted to get a good night's sleep before the first day of school tomorrow. It’s just us. In the woods. Alone.” Stiles floundered, heavily wheezing as he tried to convince his dad. It was almost painful to watch as his lying continued to worsen through the sentence. Y/n quickly cut in, trying to save his ass while still even remotely possible.

“It’s true Mr. Stilinski. Just us out here. Scott wanted to make sure he was up and ready for lacrosse tomorrow! You’re coming to the first game right?” She tried to divert the attention away from her friend’s awful lying. Taking a small step forward as if to put a spotlight on her.

“Depends on everything at the station, but I’ll let you know. Do you have a ride home?” The sheriff's face was still unimpressed, just slightly less so. 

“No sir, Stiles and I came here together.” Y/n let a sweet smile play at her lips, really trying to sell it. She hoped to god he didn’t pester any further.

“Of course.” he started, “Stiles, take the girl home and then yourself. When you get there we‘re gonna have a discussion about something called violation of privacy.” 

Stilinski led the two to Stiles’ banged-up jeep, having them hop in before bidding them goodbye. Y/n let out a breath of relief she hadn’t known she was holding. Whether it was to finally be out of the thick woods or to be done with the sheriff's wrath she wasn’t sure. Whatever she saw tonight was unlike anything she's heard of. 

Spending the remainder of the car ride in silence, she wracked her brain for any sort of answer. Finally coming up with one solid conclusion, 

“I think I know what killed that jogger.” Y/n’s voice was meek, waiting for his eyes to meet hers. The sound of her own voice confused her. She wasn’t used to sounding so weak. Y/n McCall was many things; weak and uncertain did not fall anywhere on that list. It was clear she was still shaken up, it was just a matter of what exactly had this effect on her. She wished she knew the answer to that. Y/n was so caught up in her own crisis she didn’t even get her usual butterflies she does around the boy driving her home. 

“What do you mean what? Don’t you mean who?” Stiles tore his eyes from the road in front of him to make eye contact with her briefly. Turning his head back when her eyes faltered. She was nervous. Sweaty palm, wavering voice nervous.

“That’s the thing. It wasn’t a who.” She gulped before continuing, “I think it was a wolf. A really big fucking wolf.” A laugh bubbling from the boy's chest caught her off guard. He’s laughing at her. Tears had even started to form in his honey-colored eyes.

 A scowl quickly took over her features as her annoyance flared up. Like someone lit a fire in her lungs. She recognized the uncomfortable feeling as embarrassment.

“I’m being serious you asshole!” Her arms were firmly crossed over her chest. Any form of uncertainty she had before was out the window. His inability to give her discovery even a single thought fueled the fire that was still burning in her chest. This time the burning was different though. Almost like it was burning hotter and brighter than before. This was pure, jaw clenching anger. 

“I’m not trying to be an asshole, but you do know there haven’t been wolves in California in probably sixty years, right?” Stiles justifying his little episode only boiled Y/n’s blood more. She couldn’t remember a time she had been so upset with him. The only account coming to mind was when he ripped the head off of her only ken doll in the first grade. 

“Stiles. I know what I saw.” She spoke with conviction to signal the end of the conversation. Her own hand dug into her bicep subconsciously. The rest of the car ride was silent. Tension so thick in the air she could practically taste the bitterness on her tongue. Y/n always had Stiles’ back, so why couldn’t he have hers? She was smart too. Granted, not as smart as Stiles but still. She wasn’t blind and she knows what wolves look like. 

If she wasn’t so infatuated with the idiot she was sure her fist would be in his mouth. 

They finally reached the McCall residence, slowing to a stop at the curb. Stiles didn’t have a chance to say anything before Y/n was up and out of the car, slamming the door behind her. She needed to sleep this off. It was extremely late by the time she made it to her room; checking to see if Scott had made it home never crossed her mind. 

Y/n kicked off her muddy slippers, crawling into bed slowly. Letting out a groan when she finally flopped onto her right side, letting her head hit her pillow. Stupid Stiles and his stupids smarts. Who does he think he is. With his perfect brain and stupid haircut. She felt herself nod off, closing her eyes for what seemed to be only a second. 

Y/n gasped, shooting up in her bed as the sound of her alarm cut through the thick silence. She grabbed her phone to turn the blaring alarm off. She sighed sitting on the edge of her bed, attempting to rub the sleep out of her eyes. Continuing to the bathroom to shower for school. School. She was fully awake now at the thought. It was the first day of sophomore year and she was going into it mad at her best friend. With great reason of course. She deserved the same amount of respect and trust she gave her friends, and she’d be damned to not stand up for herself.

“Scott! Are you ready?” Y/n trampled down the stairs in search of her brother. Only to be surprised that he was already standing next to the door, waiting for her. “Woah, you’re never up before I am.” 

“Lacrosse. Remember?” Scott countered, fidgeting in his spot. Y/n narrowed her eyes as she slowly stepped closer to him. Her brother seemed to gulp at the intense stare. She assumed he was hiding something, the tell of his jaw clenching giving it away. 

Y/n let a smile break out onto her face, simply patting Scott on the chest and continuing through the front door. Dealing with Scott hiding something could wait. If it were that important he would tell her; she was sure of it. 

The two set off on their bikes towards the school. Neither spoke to each other and that fact alone was odd. Scott almost always had something to say to Y/n. She brushed it off, assuming he had tryout jitters and that was the reason for his odd behavior. Plus she was still thinking about Stiles. Not in the usual way of admiration though. Just the thought of the conversation the two had the night before was enough to relight her hate fire. Y/n’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the handlebars. Letting out a quick breath to calm herself down. 

Her grip loosened as the school came into view bursting with life. The parking lot filling up quickly, kids were hopping off their bus to shuffle into the building, and cliques were already being formed. Y/n sucked in a breath of air, holding it in her cheeks as she mentally prepared for hell. 

The two pulled up to a bike rack, taking their time to take off their helmets and lock up. This year was going to be different. Y/n could feel it. She couldn’t tell if it was her outfit choice or something bigger. She chose her outfit. Consisting of a sweater tucked perfectly messy into an a-line plaid skirt. Not only did she look good, she felt great. This year she was going to dress as nice as she wanted, straying from her usual way of dressing. The teen always felt like she was being stared at. She hated that. This year she wasn’t going to care if people stared. As long as she felt comfortable with herself it no longer mattered to her.

The sound of an engine getting closer invaded her thoughts. Her head whipping to the side to find the intrusive sound. A silver Porsche pulled smoothly into the spot next to them. Jackson Whittemore. She identified the king of a-holes immediately. 

She watched Jackson step out of his ridiculously short car, promptly hitting Scott with the door. 

“Dude. Watch the paint job.” His stupidly blue eyes settled intensely on her brother.

“You hit him, asshole.” Y/n stepped in, crossing her arms as if to challenge him. He scoffed, raising his eyebrows before biting back.

“Whatever.” 

“Bite me.” 

They watched as he walked away. Keeping an icy stare on the two as he did so. Scott pulled her towards the front of the school, mumbling something about making enemies on the first day.  Stiles bombarded the two, desperately asking Scott to see something. Y/n looked between the two. See what? Just as she was about to open her mouth Scott lifts up his shirt. Revealing a large patch of gauze. Blood visibly seeping through the protective covering.

“Scott, what the hell happened.” Y/n’s fingers traced over his side, moving like her hands had minds of their own. Apparently too harshly as Scott jumped back wincing. Her eyes widened, instantly feeling terrible. He barely looked at her and instead continued to talk to Stiles.

“It was too dark to see very much, but I'm pretty sure it was a wolf.” Y/n’s eyes widened, gawking at her brother. A wolf. Just like she said she had seen just hours before. 

“Oh, now you too? Not a chance.” Stiles laughed. Instantly reminding Y/n of her anger towards him. He’s still being an asshole. She may have a crush on him, but she wasn’t blinded by the fact. If anything it made her even more critical of the situation.

“Huh. Isn’t that funny he says that Stiles?” She cocked her head sideways, clearly mocking him. While Stiles’ eyes softened, Scott seemed oblivious to the tension as he continued to argue with Stiles.

Y/n stayed walking by the two. She had decided to argue with Stiles at this moment was pointless. If he wasn’t going to listen to her then so be it. She wasn’t going to listen to him. Instead focusing on her class schedule. Mentally mapping out the fastest routes through the school.

“I heard a wolf howling.” 

“No, you didn’t.”

“What do you mean I didn't, how do you know what I heard?”

“Because California doesn't have wolves, okay? Not for like sixty years.” Stiles continued to laugh, settling his hand on his backpack strap. They stopped walking, causing Y/n to stop walking as well.

“Really?” Scott says, his tone teasing. 

“Yes, really. Look, there's no wolves in California.”

 “Really Stiles? You can’t stand to be wrong just this once?” Y/n threw her arms up, “For fuck's sake, two people are crying wolf!” Her blood boiled. Baffled that her usual partner in crime had such a huge stick up his ass over this. 

 Stiles just sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

 “What’s up with you two?” Scott asked, looking between the two. Y/n shook her head, mumbling an incoherent response. She shifted her eyes to the ground. “Well, if you don't believe me about the wolf, then you're definitely not gonna believe when I tell you I found the body.” His voice trailed off.

 At this point, Y/n couldn’t care less about the body. She just wanted to have a good first day. Clearly, that card wasn’t on the table.

“Are you kidding me?” Stiles’ eyes flashed like lightbulbs. Excitedly reaching his hand out towards her brother. 

 “I wish. I’m gonna have nightmares for months.” Scott said, a visible shudder wracking his body. 

 “That is freaking awesome!,” Stiles cheered, “I mean, seriously, it's the best thing that’s ever happened in this town, since-” His eyes shifted to look straight at a familiar strawberry blonde walking by, ”The birth of Lydia Martin. Hey, Lydia! You look- like you're gonna ignore me!” The boy waved, only to slightly deflate as Lydia ignored him.

 Y/n inwardly scoffed. Of course he still has a crush on her. Why wouldn’t he? This was the icing on top of her anger cake if that was even a thing. How ignorant could this boy be? She turned around to walk away, trying to contain her sigh of annoyance threatening to surface. 

 “Hey, where are you going?” Scott called after her, confusion lacing his voice. Y/n turned around, walking backward in her heeled booties. 

 “Class” The girl shrugged. Technically it wasn’t a lie. She did have class, just not for another 20 minutes. Her creative writing class called her name, seeming even more intriguing as she looked for an excuse to leave the conversation. 

 Y/n made a pit stop at her locker, swiftly entering in the code. Her body jolted in surprise, someone slamming their locker beside her. Her eyes turned to mere slits, realizing her locker neighbor to be none other than Jackson Whitmore. This day just kept getting better and better.

 “What are you looking at? Buzz off.” Jackson said, his voice rapidly becoming more annoying. She barely had enough time to scoff, soft tresses of strawberry blonde hair distracting her. Lydia Martin. 

 “Jackson. Let's go.” Her voice was demanding, a feminine edge to it. Y/n resisted the urge to roll her eyes, unable to control her overwhelming bitterness. She hadn’t even noticed Lydia’s eyes trailing over to her. “I love your skirt.”

 “What?-Oh. Thanks.” Y/n was caught off guard, hands instantly coming down to stroke the plaid fabric. Lydia Martin. Complimenting her. Was this an alternate universe? She didn’t know how to react, too caught up on her prior thoughts. Lydia Martin was a heinous bitch. Wasn’t she?

 “You’re Y/n. Right? We had health together last year.” A gentle smile played at Lydia's lips. 

 “Yep, that’s me!” Y/n replied, internally cringing at the blatantly obvious fake happiness. Clearing her throat she passed the ginger a smile before closing her locker. Turning to walk away from the horrendously awkward situation.

 “You’ll have to show me where you got it sometime!” Lydia called out after her. Catching her off guard as she sputtered to a stop. 

 Y/n threw a quick smile over her shoulder, “Yeah, definitely.” She mumbled, clearly still loud enough as Lydia smiled in response. Promptly flicking her hair over her shoulder before turning back to her boyfriend to reprimand him for being so slow. Y/n continued walking, confusion settling in her brain. 

What the hell was happening in this town?

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[madebycoffee]

OH ALSO I finished watching Legend of Korra and here is non spoiler thoughts: I really enjoyed it and just like atla I cried at every single season finale. I really like that the main cast while still young, is older than the lITERAL children of atla. atla still holds up watching it as an adult, but I feel like korra is a bit more my jive. There is only one episode that I won’t watch again (season 4 remembrances, when you are binging the show it isn’t necessary as it’s a recap and not as fun as ember island players which serves the same purpose in atla. Also I looked on IMDB, that is the lowest rated episode. I agree. Honestly, if you are binging you can skip it) but I can def see myself watching the whole thing again. Season 1 is my overall favorite of the series. 

Spoiler thoughts below the cut because WOW I HAVE THOUGHTS (it’s long)

hi spoiler time last chance to look away

Before going into LOK I had read a decent amount of spoilers beforehand since this aired back in 2012-2014. I don’t think I even knew about it after it was nearly done so the one thing I knew was that Korra & Asami get together lol. Anyway my point is I knew what was coming overall.

Season 1: My personal favorite, I think it’s a really strong stand alone season. I thought it was really smart to begin the series in the water tribe again, as well as with Katara as that’s how ATLA started. I also think its really clever that with Aang, he was very spiritual and a master airbender already, but needed to learn the other 3 element. Korra is the opposite. It helps it not be so repetitive. We already saw one avatar working to master fire, water, and earth. I also realized how used to the world of atla I was and was confused for a split second how Mako and Bolin were brothers but one was an earthbender and one was a firebender... Yeah I know I’m dumb and I forgot that its a different world lol.  -Another strong point was that no matter how in danger Korra got in season 1 she never went into the avatar state, because as she says in what ep 1? that she has never been good at the spiritual side of being the avatar. Part of me kept expecting it to happen, but even the final showdown with Amon it didn’t so I was like oh damn. The finale when she does go into the avatar state with Aang giving her the bending she lost back.... I was a wreck. Sobbing my eyes out it just HIT ME.  -Other moments that hit me hard: Hearing Dante Basco’s voice as General Iroh ow my soul, Hearing through Katara that Sokka is dead, The flashbacks to the trial of the bloodbender (forgot his name??) and seeing them get bloodbent HURTS MY HEART. And every time Aang’s statue was shown. ;-; Also, just like ATLA there isn’t a main character that I dislike. I genuinely like Korra, Asami, Mako, & Bolin as a team. Lin is my favorite which not hard being Toph’s daughter lol. Tenzin and fam are a delight (though Meelo can get on my nerves but eh)  TL:DR SEASON 1 IS GREAT I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH IT AGAIN!!

Season 2: Alright so. A lot of Spirit World dealings. Unalaq being a GASP evil brother??? LOK has a thing about brothers lol. First with Amon and whathisname, now with Korra’s dad and uncle. Anyway, season 2 I really like too. Yes even the finale. And it’s been a few weeks (maybe months??) since I watched season 2 so the finale is really all that stands out. Other than that I do really like seeing the story of the first avatar. OH MAN AND IROH IN THE SPIRIT WORLD HAD ME ALL SORTS OF LEVELS OF EMOTIONAL. -SO. This was the big spoiler I knew going in, that the past lives of the Avatar are severed from Korra. I know that A LOT of people really don’t like it either. And upon hearing that plot point I didn’t like it as well. But when I sat down and watched the whole series. I actually thought it was the right thing to do. And I didn’t mind it as much as I thought. Korra can no longer call upon the past lives which is sad, but those Avatars still existed. And with Tenzin being so prevalent in the show, it really feels like Aang is still there in spirit. The reason I thought it was the right thing to do with the story, is that it let’s the show as a whole exist on it’s own. IDK how to properly explain.. I get why people don’t like it, but it makes sense to me. -And I do commend the show runners for sticking to this. There is no getting contact back with the past lives. Which, personally I approve of. Whenever you do something world altering like that it annoys me when the show takes it back. My main gripe is people dying but wAIT NO THEY’RE ALIVE!!! It lessens the stakes. And I think a through line of Korra is that actions have consequences. TL;DR I LIKE SEASON 2 AS WELL. DOESN’T LEAVE A LASTING IMPRESSION SINCE THE FINALE IS SUCH A BIG DEAL.

Season 3: I THINK this would be my second favorite season. I REALLY like Zaheer as I guess the ~big bad~ and the squad he has. SO much so that I’m actually upset that they all are dead by the end. I think P’Li is done the dirtiest. You see and know very little about her until an ~exposition~ line a few scenes before she dies. (But damn if the scene of Su throwing her metal breastplate around her head isn’t hardcore cool. I haven’t said yet but the fight sequences in Korra??? Amazing.) Bolin finding out he can Lavabend??? oh hell yeah that’s the good shit, same with lavabending in GENERAL. seeing what people can REALLY do with their bending is probably my favorite part about Korra. I do think Zaheer looks a little silly when he starts flying around, but hey that part is cool too. Also easily the most horrified I’ve been watching this show was the pulling the aiR OUT OF SOMEONE. JESUS. Up until that point Airbending still seemed like the least dangerous form but HOLY SHIT. I will say that the way Kuvira is if not introduced/ we’re reminded about her in the finale is a little bit more like “uhhh is Korra’s dad going to have an affair???” to me than “she gonna be the big bad next season” Also on IMDB the finale of season 3 is the highest rated finale. 

Season 4: Even thought this has the same number of episodes as season 3, it feels the most rushed to me. However I do appreciate the timejump and GODTDAMN I love me some old lady Toph. I also like that Toph says that she’s watching Su & Lin through the swamp, an episode or two later Su and Zaofu are attacked and captured, and when Lin, Opal, and Bolin go to Zaofu to try and rescue, Toph is there. It’s a nice payoff. As Su was getting captured I was thinking “hmmmm does Toph see this” And she does, which has her leave the swamp, so she’s not there when Kuvira’s army is cutting vines. Because cmon is Toph was there she woulda kicked their asses. -The huge mecha suit with the spirit weapon on it is HARROWING. I like that Baatar Jr. see’s that Kuvira was gonna kill him for thE gREatER gOOD and was instantly like “oh shit well i guess my loyalties were wrong then ok” Oh and out of order but I had a feeling that Zhu Li was telling Kuvira what she wanted to hear to be sneaky and I was v happy to be proven right by Toph. I ALSO like that things like Toph being able to tell if people are lying aren’t forgotten about. Also... Cried like a baby at Zhu Li and Varrick’s wedding. Haven’t mentioned Varrick yet but hot damn if he isn’t one of my favorite characters. What I wouldn’t GIVE to have Sokka and Varrick brainstorm some truly crazy shit. 10/10.  TL;DR SEASON 3 IS REALLY GOOD AND SEASON 4 IS GOOD BUT FEELS LIKE IT’S TOO SHORT.

But yeah. Overall I really enjoyed it. I looked through the episodes on IMDB and nearly everything is above 8.5 except for some of the first episodes in season 2 which I get. I can tell that this is by the same team that did ATLA. It feels so much the same. And I think there was the right amount of the original peeps or their kids but still was focusing on our core four. Other little things:

- I like that the “villains” or ig the conflicts of people weren’t anyone from the Fire Nation. (Although do we know where Zaheer is from??? Family lineage?) Well regardless, what we have is Amon: Waterbender, Unalaq: Waterbender, Zaheer: Airbender, Kuvira: Earthbender. ATLA we were fighting the fire nation, LOK has the range lol. - I do wish we could have been in the Fire Nation tho. I wanna see what’s it like over there :( - Adored seeing all the changes to the world. In ATLA we see the blimps/airships more or less being invented and then 70 years later AIRSHIPS AND CARS GALORE. And having radios/phones VERY nice. Don’t have to rely on letters or talking in person.  - I really like Korra. I feel like it needs to be said lol, but I thoroughly enjoyed her as the Avatar (maybe more than Aang??) - Zuko’s face after Korra says she talked to Iroh in the spirit world I’m not crying you are.

ANYWAY. I think that’s it. I just needed to get it all out somewhere. Not a perfect show (neither is atla) but damn if it isn’t some of the best TV out there. If you read all of that woW good job.