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#i won't be home today . so i had to make sure i could actually get this one posted on time
disposal-blueeee · 4 days
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VARGASTOBER - day 1 : memories
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nguyenfinity · 1 year
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Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)
Lighthearted bonus:
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#enstars#hiiro amagi#rinne amagi#i don't know if this is a bad time to be amagi-posting given that hiiro's fs2 just dropped but. oh well#also this might be the last thing i draw for a bit because i am in the final stretch of this semester#if you sent in a request. i will get to it and thank you for your patience#anyways i know i'm kinda being like 'haha rinne mama's boy' which like. yeah but also sometimes--#--sometimes you're an adult in their 20s and like. yeah sure you're technically an adult or whatever but you still feel like a kid yeah?#and sometimes you just maybe want your mom to help you when you're lost or confused or when you need someone to tell you it'll be okay#but you won't get that for whatever reason#sincerely: an adult in their 20s#....can you tell why rinne is like. a vibe to me now#anyways i'm not saying mamagi dying was a necessary evil but if hiiro and rinne had an adult who actually loved them at home they probably-#-wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have the main story#if she was alive today tho she'd be going to their lives sorry i don't make the rules (yes i do)#if she ends up being exactly like the rest of their village in some future lore i'm gonna be so sad.#she'd throw hands with niki's parents#imagine leaving your sons behind because you straight up died (couldn't really do anything about that)#meanwhile your son's boyfriend's parents just. up and left him because they could#also posts with her will be tagged mamagi#if you read all that <3#mamagi#she'd adopt all the bees and alkaloid too#imagine if they got their singing skills from her#also mamagi 1 rinniki shipper (also does not care it's not legal)#rinniki
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irisbaggins · 1 month
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Guess what, I've worked what probably amounts to half of my total hours, in one fucking month. My store is resting on my shoulders, it seems, and boy do I feel that. I have not had a moment's rest since my vacation, and uh, it's probably not sustainable? Maybe?
Anyway. Guess who's going to be travelling for hours on end and then arrive just a day before a mandatory University lecture? It's me!
#text_loke#i'm also curious what my boss is going to say when he gets back. and looks at my nightmare hours#because uh. i've worked. wayyyy too much these last few months#and i am. halfway. tempted to make a little bit of a racket to the higher ups to argue my way for a higher percentage position#because i have not worked 20% in a WHILE. gimme my 40% because i for damn sure have earned it#i also. somehow. need to squeeze in the time to read the books for my Masters. because uh. i'm also doing that#can you tell i'm living by a thread rn? my sister legit just moved out yesterday and i have NOT had time to process that#i still don't have time! i won't have time!#so i shall grin and bear it as i always do!#ahjshdd legit tho. yesterday i had barely had anything to eat due to my schedule being PACKED#i woke up after five hours of sleep finished the postbox for my sister RAN out the door for Uni at 11. and when done at Uni went work#my coworker thought me insane yesterday for bouncing on my feet with barely any food in my body. or sleep#however. it's just how i am. i can just. grin and go on with my day and function when my body is Barely Responding#i will just. not be quite intelligent because my brain is Slow#also. i was NOT happy being one hour extra at work today. like it WAS worth it and i did it freely#but also i wanted to go home. but. closing shift needed my help and i had to make sure everything was ok before i left#however. i have. so much bullshit i must do tomorrow. fuck#anyway. if y'all are curious as to where i've been these last few months. my answer is dying (work and uni). i am perished#i have barely any time for myself anymore. i'm not mad about it or anything. not even like. burnt out (knock on wood)#however. i do feel the toll. i do wish i could just. do fun things again. hopefully when uni properly starts and i go to my ACTUAL CONTRACT#i can then finally relax. right now however. not so much#hopefully they won't need me next week tho. because i cannot. at all#anyway. if i didn't already know i was a workaholic i sure do now!
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ddiidi · 1 month
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bf!Bangchan x gn!reader (ot8 mentioned)
Masterlist
When he calls you clingy, so you distance yourself
Previous Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Next Pt. 3
!Warnings: angst, swearing, fun at the end bc reader needs fun in life (lmk if i missed anything)
Important!Side-Note!: Should I do a happy ending for them?
It has been 3 days since that incident. 3 days and still not a single message from Chan, not even an apology for yelling at you, nothing. You've been texting him every now and then, to ask if he's okay, eats and sleeps. He never replied to any of them, nor has he seen them, so you spend most of the time packing your stuff and working from home. You were glad you had a job you also could work from home for. Every now and then, you went over to the building, to check a few things, walking extra detours, to make sure, you won't bump into Chan.
A few of the other members texted you the past days, asking if everything is okay and why the haven't seen you around for a while, to which you just replied with "Busy with work and private stuff, dww:)". It made you happy they actually care that much about you, just because they haven't seen you in a few days, but also anxious and sad, since they care, but chan hasn't even shown any intress in you the past days. You weren't even able to tell him that you're moving.
More days pass, and a few days, turn into a week of no textes from Chan. At this point, you wondered if he even knew that you still exist.
So here you were, in your old apartment, stuffed with boxes, not being able to get your mind off chan and his well-being, even though, you're still deeply hurt from what he said, you couldn't just not not care about him....He pointed out two of your insecurities, just like that as if it was nothing and he doesn't even care...not about you not your feelings.
You let out a deep sigh. You should be getting ready for a day with your friends. Not think about some man, who happened to be the love of your life, who calls you his partner, but doesn't even know how to cherish you.
You let out another, heavy, sigh as you drop to the floor to put on your shoes, Let's just focus on having a great time today, you thought to yourself and left the apartment.
Well, maybe it was not the best decision to go out today...
Chan for his part, had to listen to a lectur from Felix, after you ran out, crying. "Chris..you really shouldn't have said all that to her. I understand that you were annoyed or whatever, but that was no reason to yell at her" "Really now? They were just being a fucking, clingy and annoying crybaby that couldn't take no for an answer, for whatever reason." chan sighed out, at the younger member. "That crybaby...was really uncalled for chris. They're your partner, not some random person on the street you can yell at. I wouldn't wonder if they took that "Leave me alone" to heart and actually leave you after that action." "But I-" chan starts, "I'm just saying chris. You better fix this before it's too late. After what you pulled, partners are faster gone than you could blink" with that, Felix leaves the room, leaving Chan alone, again.
Since that talk, Chan locked himself in his studio, thinking about the best way to apologize for what he said. But he couldn't find one. No matter how long he thought, days, a whole week, there was nothing but regret. He just had to apologize in person and beg for forgivness, hoping that you'd actually forgive him.
So there he was, with a giant bouquet of flowers, fresh clothes and hope.
He had the code to your apartment, so he opened the door, ready to be greeted by the warm, wide open hallway, but was greeted with the cold gray of bunch of boxes instead and the first thing he felt, was panic."Y/n? Y/n are you there?" he yelled, as he ran through your whole apartment, but as he saw that even all your date polaroid pictures where gone, he couldn't help but panic even more.
He let's the flowers fall on the floor, running to your room and nearly collapsed when he found..nothing. Where were you? Did you actually go? Did you actually leave him? All these questions consumed his head and that's when he broke, crying to the point he couldn't breath. He took out his phone and called the first number he saw in his recent calls. It peeped a few times, before someone took the call.
"Hey Chris everything alr-" "They're gone! Felix they're gone, they're not here i don't know what to do! I've never meant it I was just-" chan cried and gasped out at felix on the other line. "Woah there calm down, try to breath I don't understand a word. Relax, I'll be there okay? You know there is an explination for everything, that's what you always say, so try to relax it's okay" Felix tried to soothen the older man, while grabbing his keys and running out to his car. Chan didn't reply anything to that and continued soobing.
I have your location, I'll be there in 5." that's the last thing chan heared from felix, before he collapsed on the floor in your apartment.
And you? You were drinking coffee with your friends, while your bestie told you guys a story how she saw a horse that nearly drowned.
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
@finnbbl @wolfs-howling
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luveline · 1 year
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𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚
miguel can’t control himself when you get hurt in the field —a ficlet featuring an irritated (lovesick) miguel and a flirty, distracted spider-girl. pre across the spider-verse but contains spoilers. requested he re, fem!reader, 2.5k
tw. fighting, injury, blood
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Miguel watches the screen in front of him unhappily. 
"Spider-Girl," he says. Two people answer him. He sighs. "Y/N," he amends, "you're being reckless." 
The little droid camera that follows you around circles your head as you swing from one place to another. "I'm being good," you deny. 
Miguel would never tell you this, but he loves how you speak. Sure, almost every word you say annoys him, but the cadence of your voice is melodic and addictive at once. And Miguel knows you're nice to everyone, but it's him alone that has you speaking so softly. 
You do it to torture him, he's sure. 
"You're doing well, but you'd be better if you didn't free fall for so long. Mechanical failure can happen at any minute," Miguel says. 
"Then one of the others will catch me." 
"And if there's no team member close by? I'm supposed to come and scrape you off of the sidewalk?" 
"Miguel," you say gently. He can tell what mood you're in today. "They have people for that." 
"Could you just do as I asked you to?" 
"Ah, but you haven't asked me anything." 
"Please," he says, "focus on the task at hand, and use your webs cautiously." 
You make a chirping sound that feels more laughter than affirmation, but you do as he requests, reducing the length of time between each web shot. You're in New York, Earth-1844, attempting to send home an unhappy Doc Ock variant whose mechanical arms are immensely technologically advanced, even when compared to Nueva York's futurism.
Miguel had sent you along with a rather large team, one. because a big team was necessary for the task, two. because you'd asked and he has trouble saying no to you, and three. because if you'd spent another hour in his office today he actually might have given into temptation, which wouldn't be good for anybody.
Miguel is used to doing what needs to be done rather than what he'd like, these days. So while he wants to indulge you and your fanciful suggestions —I'm not heavy, handsome, please, you won't even notice I'm in your lap, your thighs are so wide— he can't. He has things to do. Things that cannot endure distraction. 
"Woo!" you cheer through laughter, letting your shoes skim the floor in an especially dangerous manoeuvre. The adrenaline turns you giddy. "Holy crap." 
Oh, right, that's why he resists temptation —he hates you. (He doesn't hate you.) He hates you and your disregard for your own safety, he hates your rejection of his authority, and he hates the stupid sweet sound you make when you're excited. 
"Do you listen to me and then forget what I've said, or do you not understand the English language?" he asks. 
You land on a rooftop overlooking the centre of Future Doc Ock's destruction. "Well, I've been learning Spanish. We could always try that," you suggest. 
"Why have you been learning Spanish?" he asks. 
"Coquetear contigo," you say, your pronunciation all over the place. To flirt with you. 
"Qué maravilla," he mutters. 
"I don't know that one, handsome, so I'm going to assume it was a love confession or something similar." You sound so overly fond he has to tense his jaw. "Gwen, where are you?" 
"I'm over here?" 
Gwen is wrapped up tightly in a metal tentacle. It shakes her around fanatically. Miguel swears and zooms in on her location, watching in apprehension as she attempts to free herself while the arm creaks, tightening, tightening. 
"Woah," you say, taking a running jump off of the rooftop. "Can you believe it? I'm not the first one who needs rescuing." 
Hobie Brown reaches Gwen before you can, and he makes an impressive rescue. You divert your path, shooting a web at the glass dome covering Future Doc Ock's head. Miguel crosses his arms across his chest. Wannabe Mysterio loser, he thinks, and then, when you've smashed a hole into the dome with a generously momentous kick, Nice. 
He doesn't suppose Doc Ock was expecting a kick to the jaw today. 
You hiss as you propel yourself away from him, another web shot at a nearby lamppost. It does something funny to his chest when he hears you whine in pain, but he's too distracted to ask what's wrong —he scours your droid's view for an answer, finds it red and saturating the fabric of your suit. 
"Why are you bleeding, Spider-Girl?" he asks, gaze drawn to the main screen where Dock Ock shouts belligerent threats at an approaching Spider-Man. 
"No biggie," you say, hissing again, "I think I cut my leg on the glass. I need a better suit." 
"Can you walk?" 
"I'm fine," you say with a sniffle. From the amount of blood, the cut is deep. "Is it me, or is it dusty in here?" 
It definitely hurts if it's making you cry, though maybe you're unprepared. This was a bad idea, you aren't as seasoned as the others, and he knows you don't know what you're doing yet. You need more time, more practice. You've hurt yourself in the field on your very first mission, and you don't have the pain threshold or the super-healing necessary to cope.
It's his fault for letting you go. 
"Prepare for extraction," he says.
"No! No way, are you kidding? I'm fine, I– I can do this."
"Y/N," he warns. 
You fling yourself from the lamppost with impressive grace considering your injury and join the fight once again. Miguel can't keep an eye on you like he wants to, as the alarm that indicates an anomaly begins to sound. He's forced to rush together a second team while the elite strike force are preoccupied, yanking members of Spider-Society from their goings abouts, Lyla in his ear recommending effective combinations and fighting styles. From that point on, he has to supervise two different missions, his head pounding with effort. 
His hands itch. He should be out there. Miguel is the cream of the crop and he isn't shy to admit that. He's a good fighter, but he can't be everywhere at once, and most of the anomalies they face require multiple sets of hands to fix. So he forces himself to stay put and guide the teams through each fight, sick to his stomach with every bloody footprint you leave behind. 
He's following Hobie Brown and offering rejected instruction when he sees you go down. He toggles your voice channel and catches the end of a high-pitched, "Oof," the air-knocked from your lungs forcibly as you hit the ground. The tentacle that propelled you veers up for a finishing blow, and three different webs catch it and pull it backward. 
It's a blur. One minute Miguel's in the control room at Spider-Society headquarters, the next he's breathing in the smoggy air of New York, Earth-1844, concrete and asphalt torn up under his hands. Lyla speaks in his ear and he's deaf to her, his focus pointed with only one thing in mind. 
The restraint it takes not to wipe Doc Ock from the face of the dimension is incalculable. Miguel can't quite believe his own moderation as he orchestrates the return of the anomaly, your body on the ground in the corner of his eye. 
The second the situation is under control, he runs to you. His gloves hit the ground with a thud by your hip, as do his knees. Spider-Man, a Peter Parker from Earth-751263, has already set nanobots over your prone figure, tiny spider-like creatures that leave webbing bandages in their wake, closing the sluggish wound on your calf. But nanotech won't fix a broken spine, not in the field. Miguel needs a stretcher. He needs to get you home. 
"Miguel," you say, drawing his gaze from your slow-rising chest, "I can't breathe.
He slides his thumb as gently as he can into the seam of your mask and eases it off. "You're winded." 
You cough. The sound is disturbingly wet, but your lips remain unsullied. Miguel can't look at you in this much pain, and he won't: he stands, and he takes control. 
You're not in nearly as much pain as you should be, because Doctor Spider-Man gave you the good stuff. "Your healing isn't nearly as expedited as most of us," he'd said. 
"Is this medical discrimination?" you'd asked, faking a serious concern. "Do I need to talk to Spider-Lawyer?" 
You found it funny. He maybe didn't, but he gave you an extra dose and told you to rest up before leaving. Resting at the Society medbay isn't easy because Spider People are constantly filtering in and out of the ward for check-ups, medication, and corrections. 
It's also not easy because most Spider People are incredibly lonely in their home dimensions, and incredibly friendly here. When Miguel finally comes to visit you, you have a Spider-Girl from a few dimensions over who has the same biological mother as you but a different father sitting to your left —she's trippy and adorable, if you do say so yourself— two Peter Parkers to your right, and a melting pot of currency lost in the white linen sheets over your legs.  
They get one good look at Miguel and put down their playing cards. 
The Peter Parkers slink off together promising to come and see you again sometime, and your variant stops just shy of Miguel's position to look him up and down affectionately. 
"Go away," he says. 
She beams at him. "Okay." 
"You can't help it, can you?" he asks after she's gone, picking a rogue playing card up from the end of your bed. He twiddles it between his index and middle finger, the card shushing with each turn.
You sit up in bed and try to straighten out the sheets, hoping to entice him. You don't bother answering his question. It barely sounded like one. 
"I'm hurt, you know?" you ask. 
"I know. I told you to retreat." 
"No, I'm hurt it took you so long to visit me," you say. You're putting on airs. Truthfully, you genuinely are a little hurt, but your voice is soft and dreamy as always. "I thought we were friends." 
"Ah, because you need more of those." 
You sink down into your pillows, your knees hiked. "I really can't help it if people like me. And you'd know." 
Miguel surprises you by sitting down. He faces away from you, his thigh just shy of your feet below the sheets, and it's only then you realise he's tense. He's in civvies for a change, a t-shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders and chest and regular black sweatpants. He's wearing converse. 
You look at him through a squint. "Did you hit your head, too?" 
"I'm off-duty."
"I just never pictured you in sneakers." 
"How do you picture me?" he asks, neck craned to look at you, his chin touching his shoulder. He has dark circles under his eyes and his brows are ruffled on one side. 
You let your knees fall to one side and pull your legs to your chest, hoping to entice him closer. "You're not sleeping well?" 
Miguel doesn't answer your inquiry. In fact, he falls silent. His eyes are on your hands where they're bunched at your chest, his dark flush of lashes twitching as his gaze tracks along the column of your throat, your jaw, and finally, your face. 
"If you were anyone else," he says eventually, "you'd be benched." 
"I'm not benched?" you ask. 
"You disobeyed a direct order," he says, "and your actions affected the people around you. Someone else could've been hurt protecting you. You have to listen to what I'm telling you to do, or this is never going to work." 
You look at the hospital bed railing rather than face his disappointment. 
"But it's my fault." 
"What?" you ask, startled. 
"It's my fault you got hurt. I knew you couldn't handle it, and I let you go anyway. I'm… I'm weak." 
"What are you talking about?" you ask. "Weak? You're the strongest person here, with or without Rapture." 
He flinches at the drug's name.
You lay there, paralysed by your own mistake, your big mouth ruining everything for the thousandth time. If there's one thing you know about Miguel, it's that you never mention his weaknesses. His drug. His last attempt at a full life. You might be light-hearted, a free spirit, but you're far from stupid usually. Your emotional intelligence must've got lost somewhere on Earth-1844. 
"Sorry," you murmur, looking at him from under your lashes. "I didn't mean…" 
Slowly, so slowly, he puts his hand on your leg. It doesn't hurt, you've been medicated and stitched and his touch is far from cruel, but you're so startled that your breath gets caught in your throat. Miguel doesn't touch you unless he's giving you a vague reprimand, moving your hand from a button you shouldn't touch or a door you're not allowed to open. 
"I let you go on that mission, knowing you weren't ready, because you asked me to let you. I put selfish motivations over your safety. It won't happen again." 
You're not as brave as you think you are. You try to hold his hand but it looks so big, and you've never had him this close to you of his own accord. You're a moment away from nervous goosebumps. 
He looks up at your touch, your pinky finger wrapped over his, smaller and shorter but with the same pattern of calluses, skin abraded by tight gloves and rough surfaces. 
"Selfish motivations," you repeat in a murmur. 
"I don't– like saying no. To you." He couldn't sound more unhappy to admit it. 
"You say no to me all the time," you say. You don't mean to, but suddenly you're folding your fingers over his, forcing him to hold your hand. He doesn't stop you. He doesn't let go. "Like, ten times a day." 
"It's difficult." Your complaint is a blessing for him —the atmosphere around you shifts to something less vulnerable, and his permanently chagrined personality rears its head once again. He raises his eyebrows. "You make my life extremely difficult," he says flatly. 
"You make my life difficult, too," you say. 
You can't help but give him your fondest smile, your lashes kissing in the corners of your eyes.  
He visibly softens. His thumb rubs the back of your hand, just once. 
"Fantastic," he says, looking firmly away from you. "Great." 
"Isn't it?" you ask happily. 
He squeezes your fingers gently. It's almost imperceptible. "Yeah, it is," he says. 
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! also, im sorry if you already speak spanish i realised after that that detail was subjective to the reader, sorry!
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honnelander · 1 year
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busgirl
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once again i got carried away and wrote way more than i planned too lol thank you to the lovely anon who requested this and i hope i did your prompt justice request: what if the reader’s a merchant’s daughter who was supposed to marry a suitor but she runs away and ends up meeting sanji
WARNINGS: none
word count: 3.4k
pairing: opla!sanji x fem!reader
summary: reader is arranged to be married but she won't stand for it. so what does she do? she runs away and meets one particular chef, begging him for help
masterlist
taglist: @smol-book-nerd @shuujin @smolracoon25 @mischiefmanaged71 @amanda08319
You never imagined your life turning out like this: still living with your father at this grown age, never having gone beyond your small island town ever in your life, and waking up every day just to relive the same day over and over again. It was torture.
Every single day of your life has been the same since you left school: you woke up before the sun rose, made breakfast for you and your father, helped prepare the wagon for its daily trip into town, then spend all day yelling in the town's square trying to sell any shoes you could (your father was a shoe merchant), pack up the unsold product at the end of the day, head home, make dinner, then go to bed soon after cleaning up just so you could wake up and do the same things all over again. You hated it.
But what could you really do to change anything? You were born to a poor shoe merchant and ever since your mother had died, things had become even tighter for your small family, of now, two.
Your father never had much, barely a penny to his name, so that meant you also had no money to your name either. Sure, you could've started a side hustle of scams and cons, maybe trying your luck at playing poker at the docks whenever pirates showed up, but how could you just leave your father like that? Just leave him all alone once you scraped together enough berry to buy a one-way ticket out of this town? As much as you were tempted, you couldn't. It didn't feel right. And besides, you were always too exhausted at the end of the day to do anything else anyway.
But then one day, your father said something that would change your life forever.
The day started out like any other. You had cooked a quick meal of toast and eggs for yourselves and once you finished your plate, you moved to get up to put the dishes in the sink for later.
But before you could get out of your seat, your dad grabbed your wrist gently, telling you to stay seated. "Actually, y/n, no need to rush this morning. We're not going into town today."
"What?" You were taken aback. You couldn't remember a day where you both didn't do this daily routine. "Why?"
Your father couldn't look at you in the eye. Instead, he kept his focus on his half-eaten breakfast, which was also weird. He normally finished eating before you. "Y/n...you know I wouldn't do this unless I had no other choice," he started.
You felt your heart drop to the bottom of your stomach. What was happening?
"But business has been really slow lately, and I tried to hold this off for as long as I could," he continued.
"Hold what off?"
He kept talking like you hadn't said anything. "But there really was no other choice." He swallowed and finally looked up and the look in his eyes scared you. You've never seen your father look that upset before...the only other time he had looked like that had been when mom died.
You tried to swallow but your mouth was dry. "Dad, what's going on?"
"And you know I always will love you, right?"
"Dad," you said a little more sternly, your heart beating a thousand miles a minute. "What is happening?" After a moment of silence, you repeated yourself. "Dad, answer me."
His next sentence hit you like a ton of bricks. "Y/n, I arranged for you to be married."
You couldn't move. "What?" you breathed.
Like always, your father continued on like you hadn't said a word. "He's a nice man, a decent man. His name is Olaf and he's from the North Blue, comes from money..."
You felt your dad tighten his grip on your wrist and suddenly you felt like you were being suffocated. You ripped your hand away from your dad's grip, the sting of betrayal hurting more than any cut or wound ever could. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you fought your hardest not to let them fall. "You sold me?" your voice quivered.
Those three words finally got your dad's attention. He looked into your eyes again, hurt evident in his gaze, but you realized you didn't care. Not anymore. "No," he replied firmly. "You know I would never sell you to anyone. I would never do that."
A humorous laugh escaped your lips. "Oh? But you'd put me in an arranged marriage instead? For money?" When you blinked, tears fell down your cheeks. "Are we really that poor dad?" you spat.
"Y/n-"
"Why didn't you tell me how bad off we were before? Before-" you stuttered and waved your arms around, "before all of this? I could've- I could've done something, anything." You ran a hand through your hair as you exhaled, a sardonic smile appearing on your face as you looked up to the ceiling, up to whatever God had subjected you to this cruel fate.
"There's nothing you could've done, y/n."
"You don't know that!" you exclaimed. Pure hot red rage adorning your features as your furious eyes snapped down to look at your dad. "I could've hustled, I could've conned the guys down at the dock for some money. I could've done something instead of nothing!"
"And then what? End up dead in a dark alley once those men found out you stole money from them? End up raped?" Your dad's anger matched yours, his voice growing louder with each sentence. "Maybe become a pirate? There is no way I would ever let that happen to you y/n."
Your dad hated pirates and you knew he would rather die before he ever let you become one.
You flung your arms up in exasperation. rolling your eyes as you let out a frustrated groan. "Oh I don't know dad," you yelled, "maybe I could've joined the Marines or something!"
But your dad didn't like the Marines either. He believed pirates and Marines were the same person, just in different clothes.
"I wouldn't let you do that either, you know that y/n."
Suddenly, a thought stuck you: you were an adult, so why was your father still making all of these major life decisions for you? It didn't make sense.
But you knew one thing: you certainly weren't going to marry some rich guy you didn't know from the North Blue. Not if you were still living and breathing.
You glanced at the open window behind your dad, seeing the early morning tinges of a sunrise lighting up the sky. Perfect, you thought. Docked ships normally didn't leave port until the sun broke the horizon, so you had a chance to hop aboard any ship that would take you far far away from here. Away from your miserable life and a father you were realizing you hated.
The sky started becoming brighter by the minute and your heart rate started to spike. You estimated you had around 20 minutes or so until the sunrise broke and if you were serious about running away, it was now or never.
Suddenly, you stood up from the kitchen table and realized that your father had stopped whatever he was saying to look at you with a curious expression.
"Y/n?"
"Y-you know what dad?" your voice shook and you swallowed your nerves. "I...I think you're right? This Olaf guy probably isn't that bad and would probably give me a better life than I ever could," you ground out and forced a smile that you were sure looked more like a grimace. "I'll do it."
If today had been a normal day, your dad would've been tipped off that something was up but he was just so relieved that you were actually agreeing to all this.
Your dad had a relieved smile on his face as he said, "That makes me so happy to hear that y/n. You have no idea."
"Y-yeah, me too," you agreed with a small nod. You reached down to pick up your plates but your hands were shaking.
Your father placed a hand on your arm. "I understand you're nervous sweetheart. Why don't you go lie down in your room? There's some time until Olaf gets here. I can handle the dishes for today."
Perfect. You agreed and nodded quickly. Thanking your dad and giving him one last look before you went up to your room and never saw him again.
--------- -----
Your lungs were burning as you ran towards the docks. You could feel sweat running down your back as you pushed yourself to run as fast as you could, arms pumping and feet kicking out dirt behind you.
The sky was beginning to turn a lighter shade of orange and a ping of fear gripped your heart.
What if you didn't make it? What if all the ships were all boarded up and ready to set sail by the time you got there? It wasn't uncommon for ships to leave a tad early since most of them had a full day at sea before them but you were so close, you just had to make it. There were probably around five minutes or so until you reached the docks and you just had to get over this ridiculous hill.
But your legs were tired and your sides were cramping and you could feel yourself slowing down due to exhaustion. You weren't a huge runner to begin with but you were literally running for your life- so what choice did you have?
If you made it through all this, you vowed to yourself that you would get better at running. Who knew the next time your life would depend on it?
As you reached the top of the hill, you took a quick second to breathe and survey the docks before you but what you saw nearly stopped your heart. There were normally a dozen or so ships that littered these docks but it looked like most of them had headed out early with only a few ships remaining, and the ones that were left? They looked like they were nearly ready to leave port as well.
With newfound urgency, you sprinted down the hill, yelling out to any sailor who would listen to your plea.
"WAIT!" you screamed. "Wait for me!"
But no one acknowledged you. You started to wave your arms around, your travel bag bouncing around as you continued to sprint.
"PLEASE! I beg you!"
As you got closer, you could start to make out the names of the few ships that were there. There was one ship called "The Happy Farewell" and you figured since they were closest you would try them first.
"Get lost girl," the ship's captain sneered. "I got no use for a girl like you."
"But please, I need to leave. You don't understand," you begged.
The captain clicked his tongue as he shook his head. "Don't we all?" he muttered. But he spared you one last glance before boarding his ship and something in your expression must've been wildly desperate because he sighed before nodding towards the ship two docks down. "Zeff's."
"What?"
"Go to Zeff's ship, girl. The Baratie. He doesn't have the heart to turn away desperate souls like yourself."
Your head whipped towards the direction the captain was looking and you saw the decent-sized Baratie standing there.
"But you better hurry," he warned. "They're setting sail as soon as we leave."
You quickly looked back at the captain to thank him but he was already walking up the plank to board his ship, barking out orders to let down the sails and hoist up the anchor.
Shit. You had to hurry.
You sprinted two docks over and once you reached the dock The Baratie was tied to, you saw a couple of men in white coats loading up the last of the crates of food onboard. You had just made it.
It was weird to you that these pirates were dressed up in matching white coats and blue bandanas around their collar but, hey, it could always be worse and you weren't in a position to be picky. You would even join a circus crew at this point.
You made your way over to the closest "pirate", a tall blonde guy that had hair almost covering his left eye. He was inspecting one of the crates, clipboard in hand and checked things off as he examined it.
"Excuse me," you huffed, trying to get this man's attention. "But I need your help. I need to speak to the ship's captain."
"Don't we all," the guy replied with a good-humored laugh and crooked smile, not looking up from his clipboard.
"Please," you urged. "It's important."
The man looked up from his clipboard and did a double-take, clearly not expecting a young woman like yourself, who looked like they just ran away from demons, asking to speak to the captain this early in the morning.
His eyebrows rose as he looked you over, his smile disappearing. "Are you alright Madam? Is something the matter?"
As his eyes scanned you over, you noticed how good-looking this guy was. And here you were, all sweaty and disheveled, your hair probably sticking out in all different directions. You prayed to whatever God was out there that you didn't have sweat stains on your shirt.
What a day this was turning out to be.
You ran your hands over your hair, trying to smooth down your flyaways and hoping you looked a bit more presentable. "I will be alright, when I speak to the captain."
"Anything I can help you with?"
What the- was this guy hitting on you? Your wandering eyes snapped back to look at this man when he asked that, looking to see if he really had the audacity to hit on you while you were begging for help, but you saw no trace of flirtation whatsoever, just concern.
"Ah- no. Unless you have the power to give me a spot on this crew."
The man's eyes lit up (you noticed they were blue). "Ah, so you want to join the Baratie? Become a chef yourself?"
You looked at him in utter confusion, blinking a couple times to make sure you heard him right. "Huh? A chef?" You looked at his outfit a little more closely and turned to examine the other men who were dressed similarly. You didn't notice it before, but they weren't just wearing any white coat, they were wearing a chef's white coat. "You guys are chefs?" you asked dumbly.
The chef, as you now noticed, rubbed his jaw as he tried to hide his smile at your obvious question. "Yes, Madam. We're chefs."
"So you're a pirate chef?"
The blonde cook couldn't hide his laugh at your series of questions, his blue eyes sparkling and white teeth showing like he had just heard the funniest joke. "No, Madam. We're just chefs. Not pirates or pirate chefs."
You felt stupid and felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "Oh." But if they were all chefs on this boat, did that mean... "Wait- do I have to be a chef in order to get on this boat?"
"Ah well, if it were up to me," he sighed, "I would give you a spot on the ship regardless if you could cook or not." He twirled the pencil between his fingers as he crossed his arm in thought. "Although, we do need some new waiters. The dining room always seems to be short-staffed..."
You opened your mouth to quickly volunteer yourself even though you never waited tables a day in your life but the blonde chef kept talking.
"Or," he thought out loud," if you really wanted to be a chef with no experience, there are ways you could get into the kitchen. We do need a new busboy. Or girl," he quickly corrected. "Move your way up and learn..."
The sun broke the horizon, the morning orange light now fading into yellow. You swallowed. You were out of time. If you couldn't get a spot on this ship then your life was over.
"I'll do it," you quickly interrupted and nodded. "I'll- I'll do anything. A chef, a waiter, a busboy or busgirl- anything. I'll even clean toilets if I have to. I just- I need to get on this ship."
Your desperate plea silenced the chef, pulling him out of his musings and you could see concern wash over his features. But before he could say anything else, a voice called out from the top of the ship's plank.
"Oi! Sanji! What the hell are you doing down there, son?" the man with a tall chef's hat and braided mustache called out. As he made his way down to the dock, you noticed one of his legs was a wooden peg instead. "The sun's broken the horizon. I don't know how many times I need to tell you this, but next time we pull out of port late, I'm shoving my leg up your ass and you're off the line for a week."
Sanji shook his head, for once not caring about the threat of not cooking, and looked at his father figure, nodding to you. "Zeff, you need to speak to this girl. You have to let her join our crew."
You watched as Zeff followed Sanji's nod and looked down at you with raised eyebrows. It was like he just noticed you were there. "Her? For the last time Sanji, I'm not letting one of your one-night stands join the crew," he said with an exasperated sigh and turned back towards the ship. "Pretty or not."
"Wait!" you called out, grabbing Zeff's arm and immediately dropping it when he turned to look at you in disbelief. "I, I don't know him," you quickly said, pointing at Sanji and taking a big step away from him to prove your point, "My name is y/n and I desperately need a spot on your ship, Sir. Please."
Zeff studied you for a moment, eyes scanning your face. "People like you normally aren't 'desperate' to join my crew."
"But I am, Sir. I," you inhaled a shaky breath at the thought that this man could also turn you away. "I can't stay here. I need to leave. I'll do anything. I can even scrub the toilets."
Zeff regarded you with a short sigh. "Lass, there's no way I would have you scrubbing toilets. I'd make him do that way before asking you," he said and jabbed a thumb at Sanji, silencing Sanji's scoff of disbelief with a look. His face became serious as he asked, "You're serious aren't you?"
You nodded. "As serious as I can be sir."
The head chef became quiet, looking at you like he was trying to figure out what you were running away from, but it wasn't any of his business. At the end of the day, everyone had a past and he wasn't there to judge.
"Alright, lass, you want a position at my restaurant that badly? You got it. Your first service as a busboy- girl, whatever- starts tonight." He pointed a finger at you and with a stern voice asked, "Everyone on this ship earns their keep, alright? And no talking back. Understood?"
Relief flooded your veins at his words, you couldn't control the smile that stretched your cheeks as you nodded. "Yes, chef."
The corner of Zeff's mouth twitched upwards in amusement and he nodded once. "Good." As he turned around to head back onto the ship, he glanced at Sanji. "I like this girl. Wherever you found her...good job, son." He started walking back up the plank onto the ship and called out, "Get those last few crates up on here, boy. We got to leave, we have a dinner service tonight!"
You frowned as you watched Zeff walk away, a little annoyed at the thought that 'Sanji found you' instead of you finding him. When you looked over at Sanji, you saw him still watching Zeff make his way up the plank, beaming slightly at the head chef's praise.
"You didn't find me. I found you," you said to your newest crewmember.
Sanji looked over at you, a small mischievous smile on his face. "And aren't you glad you did?"
Before you could correct him or slap him, you heard Zeff calling out to you from the ship's deck. "Oi! Y/n! What are you doing down there? I'm not paying you to just stand there all day with Sanji! There's a pile of dirty dishes with your name on them in the sink."
"What? Already?" you grumbled as made your way up the plank to board the ship.
From behind you, you could hear Sanji's laughter and you could hear it until you made your way inside.
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dovveri · 1 month
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strangers
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synopsis: trainee life is a lot tougher than you thought, but with three other trainees you met along the way, you have a little more hope that it’ll all be worth it in the end.
warnings: bad eating habits, mentions of vomiting and self-induced vomiting, swearing, suggestive, TOE-SUCKING, alcohol and parties, lots of feelings and trainee life angst
w/c: 19.2k !!!!! why is this like half of my entire bachelorette series jeezus
a/n: requested!! i actually dont fill reqs this quick but i had the idea alr and i lwk love writing poly i just think its so much messier and more confusing and FUN so writing this came a lot easier than writing other reqs do. also u lwk only have to read half of this and be happy yippee happily ever after OR u can potentially hurt urself and enjoy the angst but idk it’s not THAT bad so 🤗
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
“y/n?”
you blink, tilting your head up from your hiding spot under the table in the recording studio. it’s nayeon, one of the korean trainees. you hurriedly wipe your eyes on your sleeve, stumbling upwards and almost knocking your head on the bottom of the table.
“s-sorry. were you using this room? i’ll get out now-“
“no no! it’s okay i was just going to get some practice in and i saw you. are you… are you okay?” you appreciate her speaking slower for you, your grasp of korean still wasn’t the best.
“y-yeah i’m fine. i’ll just- leave you to it- sorry again-“
“are you sure? today’s actually my day off so i don’t have to be doing anything. i’m happy to just listen if you want…?”
you gulp, avoiding her gaze, nayeon was one of the trainees that everyone knew would most likely make it. you didn’t see much of her because she was always off on side jobs filming as a background dancer for music videos, booking small modelling gigs, and she was generally in more advanced classes than yours and was even set to debut in a group with a few others before the idea was scrapped. she was steadily making a name for herself even before the public knew her, something you couldn’t help but be envious of. but here she was, offering to listen to you of all people.
“i- um-“
“it’s okay. you can take your time.” she smiles sweetly, “i tried to take a few english classes but it’s a lot more difficult than i thought it’d be. so i can understand how hard it must be to come to a different country and learn a whole new language.”
“t-thank you. i was just um- i was actually just thinking about calling home and… and quitting.”
she nods, eyes filled with empathy, waiting for you to continue.
“i just- don’t think i can make it. there’s so many talented people here and this has always been my dream but i’m just not good enough and i don’t even- it doesn’t even make sense for me to be here when i could be back home getting an education or i don’t know- doing something with my life.”
“you don’t think what you’re doing now is something?”
you sigh, gripping your arm firmly, "it- it is but i don't know if it's all going to work out in the end."
"and you think going back home and going to school will guarantee things working out for you?"
"well- i- no, not for certain but-"
"so isn't the only difference that you actually want to do this? you don't want to end up working an office job for the rest of your life right?"
"but- like i'm more likely to get an office job than i am to debut-"
"i'm sure the office jobs will wait for you. idol life won't. if you don't make it, then the office job will always be there right? it's up to you though, i'm not trying to convince you to stay or leave, i just think it's a shame when you have a real chance at getting what you've dreamt of your whole life. you were scouted weren't you? did you know i auditioned to get in? and i had to hide it from my family because they didn't think this was a realistic job prospect, not when i was still in high school. so if you think you don't belong here, just remember you beat out other auditionees to get your spot as a trainee here, so you were good enough for that." she smiles brightly, her two protruding front teeth proudly on display, giving her the adorable likeability to a rabbit.
her words bring you back from the edge of panic, you've always looked at her through a lens of jealousy, wishing you had as much natural talent and star power as she did, but right now, you could see she was so much more than that, and you respected her for it, admired her for it.
"thank you nayeon." you finally meet the older girl's eyes, and her smile grows even brighter.
"of course. do you have any training schedules to get to right now? or do you want to stay here and practice some vocal chords with me?"
"would that be okay?" your eyes widen at her offer.
"yes! don't be silly y/n i know we're all meant to be competing or whatever but we're most likely going to debut in a group right? we can't just be out for each other's throats all the time."
you smile, finding her attitude refreshing, most of the trainees you had met were exactly like that, and you felt even more isolated when it was obvious they made no effort to get to know you because of the language barrier, to them, it was just another advantage they had over you.
"c'mon. let's see what you got."
your motivation reinvigorated, you spend the rest of the afternoon cooped up in the recording studio with nayeon, practicing together but also joking around and laughing, being the kids you were in an industry that stripped you of that freedom.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
"これの読み方を知っていますか?"
"いいえ、私は愚かです."
you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat, unable to shake the insecurity that they were talking about you. you were currently in your intensive korean class, waiting for the teacher to appear. the class was mostly quiet, except for the two girls sitting a table away from you, whispering and laughing, pushing each other around playfully.
when you glance towards them again, one of them meets your eye. you panic, whipping your head back down to your open textbook.
the girl who saw you whispers something to her seatmate, nodding towards you, bringing the other girl's attention to you as well.
you strain to see what they're doing in your peripheral vision, but the little giggles and whispers have you shrinking in even more on yourself, thinking they were making fun of you for whatever reason.
you don't notice when the one who spotted you first is suddenly standing next to you. she waits for you to acknowledge her, but when you don't she giggles again, leaning down and tilting her head so you had to look at her.
"hi. my name sana. you?"
"y-y/n."
"y/n? nice to meet you! that momo." she steps back a little and points at the other girl who waves shyly at you. you stare back at her, dumbfounded, reciprocating her wave.
"you... korean good?"
you blink, unsure of what to say, "umm... it's okay i guess."
sana grins, all teeth, almost blinding you, running back to her seat and picking up her textbook, skipping back towards you and plopping down in the empty seat next to you. she points at the page, "how to do?"
you look down to the question she has circled, it was part of the homework set from the last lesson. you flick back to that page in your own textbook, showing her and trying to explain with gestures what it was asking.
when it clicks, that blinding smile graces her features again, her eyes lighting up and quickly scribbling down the answer. then she turns to momo who seemed to be doodling little drawings all over her workbook instead of studying.
"モモリ馬鹿野郎 ! これがあなたのやり方です."
you shrink back into your seat, thinking she was done with you, only needing you to help her with her homework, and now that she was done, she could go back to making fun of you.
but instead, momo looks over curiously, standing up and hovering over the two of you. sana starts talking in rapid japanese, her hands flailing around excitedly.
momo nods along, and then she seems to get a moment of realisation, her eyebrows raising and mouth opening in the shape of an o, an "ahh!" escaping her.
sana looks back to you, "thank you! you so smart!"
you still don't really follow their conversation but you nod, shyly rubbing the back of your neck, "it's okay."
"we sit here?"
"sorry?"
sana frowns, an adorable pout forming on her lips, thinking over how to say what she wants. then she grabs momo's hand, gesturing between the both of them, "friends!", then she grabs your hand, gesturing between the three of you now, "friends?"
your hand is sweaty against sana's, you take note of how soft it feels against yours, heart stumbling a little over itself. you nod sheepishly, not expecting sana to grin, pulling you into a hug immediately.
momo goes to grab her things, and then settles into the seat on your other side, "sorry for her. she very huggy."
sana pouts, flicking momo's forehead playfully after she pulls away from you, "you like it too."
momo giggles, rolling her eyes.
things were moving so fast your brain was playing catch up. you knew the people here were a lot more affectionate than back home, but you still felt your heart racing from being in such close proximity with sana, and now momo too, the both of them squeezed against you and conversing lightly in broken korean and japanese while waiting for the teacher. it wasn't unwelcome though, this was the first time someone had asked you in such a straightforward way to become friends, it was refreshing, definitely better than the trainees in your vocal and dance classes who refused to interact with you at all.
when the teacher finally comes, he looks a little surprised at the change in seating, but doesn't comment on it, diving straight into the lesson.
sana and momo both try their best to keep up, sana remains fully engaged in the lesson, asking plenty of questions, while momo is the opposite. she's easily distracted, when the teacher goes on one of his off topic rants, she starts doodling in her textbook again, you repress a laugh at the stick men she drew frolicking around in fields with rainbows and stars. you can't help yourself but bring your pen to her page, adding a little deranged dog to her drawing.
she looks at you in surprise, but lets you finish, giggling at the result and drawing in some fur for the dog, fixing up your sorry attempt at a puppy.
the class finishes uneventfully after that. momo yawns, closing her book with relief while sana stretches, standing up and grinning down at the both of you.
momo looks at her warily, squinting, "what?"
"what?"
"you have not good look on your face. what you do?"
"what do you mean momoring?" sana's grin only grows wider.
"i don't want to get in trouble again."
"you woooon't. what you think y/n? want to sneak out get fried chicken and beer?"
momo groans, slumping down on her desk, muttering to herself in japanese while sana laughs at her reaction.
you look between the both of them, raising an eyebrow. you knew you shouldn't, but you hadn't had real food in so long, the company's strict diet and weight requirements always on all of your minds. and you hadn't really gone out and explored korea since you arrived. you'd pretty much been confined to the dorms and the company building, eating cafeteria food and living the same routine everyday, you knew the korean trainees would often get together after late night practices and have small gatherings the company wouldn't know about, but you were never invited to those.
you grin cheekily, "you have a plan?"
sana laughs, pulling you up to stand, hugging you once again in glee, "yay!! i knew we good friends! of course, it's not the first time momoring and i have snuck out." she pulls away with a wink.
momo grumbles behind you, slowly standing up as well, "last time you got us caught you said we were helping 'clean the streets'. stupid. we had extra exercise requirements for two weeks."
"we won't get caught this time! i promise! and if we do i pay for all our food."
momo perks up at that, eyeing sana, then holding out her pinky.
sana giggles, linking their pinkies and then dragging momo by their pinkies, and you by your hand out of the classroom and back towards the dorms to get ready.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
"sana- move!" momo grunts, shuffling around in clothes too big for her, a cap that dipped over her eyes, and a mask to hide her face.
"shh! you're gonna get us caught!"
"no you are!"
"okay they're gone let's go." sana slinks forward in similar attire, careful to avoid the security cameras, flapping a sleeve behind her frantically to gesture the both of you to follow. momo glances at you, rolling her eyes but smiling, tiptoeing forward and following sana.
you're body is surging with adrenaline. you had always been a 'good' kid. you've never tried sneaking out of anywhere before. you were also trying to hold in your laughter at how stupid the three of you must look, the sunglasses covering your eyes while indoors and at 9pm at night glazing your vision.
you make it halfway across the main entrance, almost to the exit, hands shoved in your pockets.
"... y/n?"
you pause, heart pounding. the two in front of you stop as well, sana looks back at you in alarm.
you decide the best course of action is to pretend you didn't hear them. after all, they couldn't be sure you were yourself right now right? the absurd disguises made sure of that. you take another step forward.
"y/n what are you wearing? you look like vector from despicable me."
curse sana for lending you that naruto cosplay. you forgot how visible your disguise was.
you turn on your heel slowly, terribly embarrassed to have been discovered like this, mind scrambling to come up with an excuse for what the three of you were doing.
but you're stopped in your tracks when you realise who was teasing you with a wide grin, two front teeth on display. she laughs when she finally sees you, it's loud and bright, it'd scare you away if you hadn't already heard it plenty of times from her when she had found you in the practice room that day.
"you look so stupid. wait-" she whips out her phone, and before you can protest, she snaps a quick picture, laughing at her phone after checking the result.
"nayeonn!"
"i can't believe you tried to sneak out wearing that."
you pout, crossing your arms protectively over yourself, "i wasn't trying to sneak out!"
she raises an eyebrow, "yeah and i'm not gorgeous." she jokes sarcastically, before peeking over your shoulder and nodding behind you, "and who are those two losers behind you?"
you turn, taking off your ridiculous sunglasses and waving to let them know you were fine and to join you. sana tilts her head curiously, moving back towards you, tugging along momo who takes off her cap, blowing her hair out of her face.
"oh! you're the japanese duo that came here on the same day! i'm sorry i don't remember your names but i saw you dance and you were incredible." she directs the last part at momo, who blushes at the compliment, nodding and hiding behind her hair. sana grins though, bowing down and bringing momo down with her.
"i'm sana! this is momo!"
"nayeon. it's nice to meet you both." nayeon smiles sweetly, bowing as well and gesturing for them to stand up. "where were you guys headed?"
"chicken and beer! you want to come?" sana quips happily, excited to meet anyone new.
"how were you guys going to get beer?" nayeon jokes with a smirk.
sana tilts her head confusedly, she looks adorable in the clothes that drown her.
"you're all underage right?"
sana looks to you in confusion, not seeming to understand what underage meant.
"ah- none of us are 18..." you gesture to the three of you.
sana makes a sound of exclamation, not having thought about that particular detail.
nayeon laughs brightly, finding the japanese girl's antiques endearing. "good thing you have me then! c'mon. i know the best place as well, and no one from the company will go around there so we won't get caught." she winks, pulling a mask and cap out of her jacket pocket and slipping it on.
you blink, surprised at the change in events.
nayeon shrugs, "always gotta be ready if we're training to be idols right?" you can see the smirk in her eyes, before she charges forward without an answer and leads the four of you into the night.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
your shoulder hurt.
there's another bout of laughter, you flinch, preparing yourself.
sure enough, nayeon's large hands come clapping down on your arm, you wince, trying to smile your way through the sting of each slap.
it doesn't help when sana realises why you look constipated, cracking up even more pointing at you with a hand over her mouth, which makes nayeon laugh again for absolutely no other reason than that you were all wasted.
"nayeonnie calm down- you're going to kill y/n-" sana chokes out between giggles.
nayeon blinks, looking at you, face brightly flushed. she pouts, leaning in close, "what did i do?"
you flush even brighter, blaming the alcohol and not the way nayeon's eyes are glued to your lips, squinting and trying to focus on one part of your face only with her wobbly vision. you push her off of you gently, rubbing at your shoulder with a grimace, "you hit people when you're drunk.""
nayeon coos, chasing after you, "awwwwwh did i hurt you? poor baby. here lemme kiss it better." nayeon purses her lips together, pushing her face towards you while you whine and laugh, trying to push her away.
sana pipes up at the word, "kiss? who are we kissing? i wanna kiss!"
momo snorts, playing around with the bottle cap of the soju you had gotten to after you had all decided the beer wasn't enough. her face is probably the most flushed of you all, but she was also probably the most sane of you all currently. "don't you kiss enough?"
sana whines, poking momo's cheek, "no! you don't let me! c'mere-" she leans forward, tickling momo's sides, trying to get her to let her defenses down and land one on her. momo laughs, pushing sana off, scrambling away in urgency.
you aren't faring much better, but then you get an idea, "sanaaa! kiss nayeon! she's trying to get me!"
sana turns to you both, and she's never one to turn down a kiss so she leans across the table, yanking nayeon's head towards her and pulling her away from you. but what surprises you is when she plants a sloppy kiss right on the eldest's lips.
you look at momo, expecting to see a similar look reflected, but she rolls her eyes, calmly picking up the bottle and bringing it to her lips again to take a sip.
they break away with a smack, exaggerated on sana's end who giggles and licks her lips, grabbing the bottle from momo and taking a sip as well.
nayeon blinks, her brain seeming to catch up with her body 2 seconds late. when she realises what happens, she stands up abruptly with a screech, her metal chair scraping against the floor in pain. you wince at the sound, but laugh when you catch her face, now brighter than momo's, hand over her mouth in shock. sana and momo easily join you, cackling as nayeon flails around, sounds coming out of her mouth in incoherent phrases.
it seems the shop owner has had enough of the four of you though.
"yah! out! all of you! bedtime! 2am now! go go!" you all continue laughing as you're ushered out of your seats. you're all too drunk to notice the way the shop owner has fondly been watching you for the last few hours, cleaning around and keeping her shop open later than she normally opens, recalling the days she was young and stupid as well. she shouts at you while she pushes you out the door, but she also shoves a plastic bag of takeaway chicken into your hands as she pushes you out, telling you all to go home and not to cause too much trouble at this time of night.
you all laugh and thank her, sana even goes to kiss her cheek, cooing at how adorable she was in her apron and wrinkles.
when you've finally calmed down and take in the chill air of the night sky, you shiver a little, the alcohol sloshing around in your body not enough to keep you warm.
momo sidles up next to you, linking your hands together easily and pulling you against her.
you grin at her, tightening your grip around her hand that she's shoved into the warm pocket of her jacket pocket.
the peace is quickly disrupted when nayeon sends a stumbled kick your way from behind you. she misses though, tripping over herself and almost falling face-flat onto the ground save for sana hooking onto her waist quickly, pulling her back up with a laugh.
nayeon wraps an arm around sana's shoulder, thanking her for the support. "yah. you two. kiss. i can't be the only one who had to kiss someone today."
sana pouts, "why do you say that like you didn't like it?"
nayeon sputters, squinting up at sana from her slouched position, her weight almost entirely leaning on sana, "no i didn't- i didn't mean it like- no but- ugh-"
sana giggles, shuffling around so she can accommodate nayeon better.
momo turns her head, "no way loser. you two only kissed because you're both so kissy."
"what does that even mean?!"
"sana kisses everyone when she's drunk. and you're just as bad nayeon. i don't know how you can go drinking with just one person. you need at least 2 or 3 to hold you up when you get drunk." momo teases, sticking out her tongue.
"respect your elders you little shit!"
you all laugh at that, nayeon may have gotten you all drinks but she wasn't that much older than you. and she looks hilarious bringing a fist up in the air and waving it around like a little angry old lady, too much spite in too little a body, it was cute.
"wait... so the only one i haven't kissed yet is y/n?"
you freeze, ready to make a run for it at the earliest sign of danger.
nayeon grins, pushing sana off of her and towards you, "let's change that!"
your eyes widen, legs tensing up, ready to rush forward, you pull your intertwined hands out of momo's pocket. but right as you're about to take off, momo smirks, yanking you backwards and spinning you around until you're met with the soft, ready lips sana has wating for you.
"mmf-!"
your eyes are squeezed shut when momo spun you, terrified of falling onto your face, but now all you can feel is her hand still holding yours, sana's coming up to steady your hips, her lips pressing against yours gently.
all too quickly, she breaks away with a giggle, licking her lips again. it must be a habit.
you stare at her dumbly, mouth hanging open, lips tingling with the faint taste of strawberry soju.
nayeon has ended up on the floor without anyone supporting her, cackling loudly and pointing at your dumbfounded look.
momo stifles a few chuckles as well, her hand still wrapped tightly around yours.
sana simply smiles, closing your mouth with her hand, brushing a thumb over your jaw in the process, then tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
you flush up immediately, whipping around and staring at the floor, the tips of your ears bright red.
sana laughs, cooing, "awwwwh! you're so cute! look at her guys! she's blushing!"
"no!" you speak up indignantly, voice squeaky, "i'm just drunk!"
"you're more red than me!" momo joins in, trying to get a look at your face better with a laugh, her nose scrunching up in glee.
you whine, trying to pull away from her, but she doesn't let your hand go, so you end up pulling her along with you as you stomp forward, eager to get home and away from your teasing new friends.
sana laughs, running after you both.
that left nayeon, still on the floor in the middle of the street at 3am. "guys! hey guys! don't forget me! come back! hey- wait!"
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
the four of you grow easily close after that night. and it helps that by chance, you're all allocated into the same dorm room for the new year. it's definitely a surprise since nayeon was one of the company's top trainees, and the rest of you were foreigners and had only been around for about 2 months. you'd heard it was meant to help the three of you get better at korean, having to converse in korean daily with a korean roommate so that existing friends like sana and momo couldn't get away with just talking in japanese when they were in the comfort of their dorms. plus, it seemed both sana and momo were making a name for themselves amongst the trainees as well for their bubbly idol personality and raw talent respectively.
"how's this?" nayeon comes out of the bathroom and does a little twirl, her hair already curled and makeup applied dazzlingly. she's wearing a pretty silk white dress with little blue bows decorating it, matching the blue ribbons she's used in her hair.
sana squeals, immediately bounding upwards and poking at her. "it's so cute! when did you get this?!"
"the last family trip i went on! are you sure it's okay?" nayeon pouts.
but then momo yells out from behind her, still doing her eyeliner in your shared bathroom mirror, "you look fine stop digging for compliments."
sana laughs cheerily when nayeon sputters back at her, latching onto the older girl and pecking her cheek, "it's okay nayeonnie i don't mind. i'll praise you anytime you want." there's a slight lilt to her voice, she finishes with a wink.
nayeon blushes immediately, but tries to cover for it by turning to you. "y/n? what do you think?"
you roll your eyes from your spot on sana's bed, more focused on applying the dark blue nail polish on your hands. "it's pretty."
"just pretty?" you can hear the pout in her voice.
you sigh exasperatedly, looking up at her in mock annoyance. "you're gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, exquisite, glamorous, everyone at the party will have their eyes on you."
you can hear momo fake gag from the bathroom, and sana bursting into giggles. but nayeon crosses her arms, frowning, "you see when you list it out like that it makes it a little harder to believe."
"ugh nayeon! you look good! what more do you want from me!"
she laughs, leaning down to squish your cheeks together affectionately, "thanks darling, i love my little thesaurus."
you grumble, careful not to get the drying nail polish onto sana's sheets. sana comes back to her position next to you, grabbing your hands and starting to blow on your fingers.
"what time does the party start again?" momo yells out from the bathroom, slipping into her outfit for the night.
"like... 10 minutes ago but it's fine. no one interesting is gonna get there on time." nayeon squeezes in next to you as well, leaning her head on your shoulder.
"that's because you're only interested in yourself."
"hey! i can revoke my invite to all of you!"
"you wanted us to go because you'd be, quote, bored out of your mind with all those mindless prepubescent boys trying to get in your pants! besides, we all got our own invites anyway."
"what?! why didn't you tell me?!"
"you were so cute thinking you were doing us all a solid or something for inviting us." sana speaks up with a giggle, "we couldn't break that!"
"you couldn't sana! i wanted to tell her and shove it up her proud ass but you just love to watch cute girls fumble around don't you?"
sana giggles again, going back to blowing on your nails.
but then momo steps out of the bathroom, clad in a very short bodycon dress, her makeup and hair fully done, the dress cutting open at her midriff showing off toned abs, pretty gold necklace decorating her neck, outlining her collarbones and the plunging neckline that pretty much ended at her belly button, tying together the cutout.
the three of you all stare at her, eyes roaming over the mass of skin, mouths open in... shock.
sana licks her lips slowly, eyes not bothering to meet her best friend's again, "you look... good."
momo smirks, imitating what's meant to be nayeon, "just good?"
nayeon bristles then, snapping out of her stupor, "shut up momo. don't you think you're... showing a bit too much skin?"
momo starts looking around for her shoes, bending over criminally with her back to you all, it's almost comedic how all three of your gazes lock onto her ass immediately. "this is nothing compared to some of the outfits they put us in when we do our showcases. besides, it's not like you can talk." she snorts, turning back around with heels in hand, her smirk never leaving her face as she watches the three of you, knowing exactly what you were doing.
"yeah but you'll... get cold."
"it's an indoor party."
"shut up!"
she laughs, standing back up after slipping into her shoes, "okay! ready to go?"
you gulp, standing up shakily, forcing you to look at her face and not ogle your friend's very attractive body. "y-yeah. took you all long enough."
"you finished practice earlier than us, you had more time to get ready. now let's go losers."
she leads the charge out your tiny shared room, nayeon gets up and follows grumpily. you look back down to sana who's still got her gaze locked on the way both girls' hips sway with each step. you roll your eyes, poking sana and dragging her up with a laugh. sana lets you, her brain short-circuiting, only able to be tugged along.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
you honestly had no idea how a party of this scale went unnoticed by the company. there were so many trainees you recognised, and even a few idols that were lesser known to the public. it was at someone's house, you don't remember who's, but there was no way you could've gotten away with a party this size back at the dorms.
music was blasting, drinks were being circulated, people were dancing and grinding up against each other. it wasn't a surprise to see the amount of rowdiness going on, that's what happened when you force a bunch of teenagers to undergo strict training and diet regimes, and forbid anything that could get anyone into any sorts of controversies in the future in case you made it and got famous.
the four of you had naturally split up when you arrived, being pulled away by different friends and people wanting to greet you. you spot momo on the dance floor already, not that it was difficult to seperate her from everyone else. sure you were all trainees and went through mandatory dance class, but everyone knew momo was something else when it came to dance. she had an aura about her, one that made people back up and give her space, circling her on the crowded floor and watching in awe of her moves.
you can hear nayeon before you spot her. she's with jihyo and jeongyeon, two other trainees that she was set to debut with, and granted, was naturally close with. they were all top-notch trainees at the company, everyone knew of them, knew that the next group coming out of jyp would most likely include the three of them.
that left sana, someone people naturally gravitated towards. her adorable happy-go-lucky energy was infectious, it was impossible not to fall in love with her at first sight. she was currently surrounded by a crowd of people, laughing and smiling, face tinged with the pink of alcohol.
eventually, someone gets people together for a game of spin the bottle. you're all sitting in a big circle in a room away from the rest of the party, chattering excitedly with the buzz of liquors, an empty soju bottle laying in the middle of you all.
"okay party people! game time!" the original host of the party, jackson wang, saunters in with a charming grin, plopping himself down between mark and jeongyeon. "so i'm gonna assume we all know how spin the bottle works. and if you don't... well you'll find out! who wants to go first!"
everyone looks around at everyone, antsy, unwilling to go first. jackson rolls his eyes, "alright losers. guess it's me." he bends forward and spins the bottle. everyone watches with anticipation, breaths held.
it lands on one of the younger trainees, ryujin. she makes a face of disgust, cringing, but jackson ignores it, quickly swooping in and kissing her.
when they break away, ryujin quickly downs her cup of whatever concoction of alcohol she has, wiping at her lips and pushing him off of her playfully. jackson laughs, backing away and returning to his seat. ryujin goes forward, places her fingers on the bottle, then spins it.
again, you all wait in anticipation, eyes locked on the dizzying movement, until it slowly lands on bambam.
ryujin groans again, bambam looks like he just won the lottery. "nope! i'm not kissing one of you gross guys again, jackson tasted like he doesn't know what a toothbrush is. gimme a dare."
there are shouts of disapproval, but ryujin ignores them all, sitting on her haunches, unmoving.
"okay just because you made that totally untrue comment about my breath, i'll give you one worse than kissing bam." jackson looks around the room, thinking to himself, mark whispers something in his ear and they both snicker, "alright. suck someone's toes for 10 seconds."
"pfft is that meant to be a dare?" ryujin easily leans forward, pulling yeji's sock off and immediately wrapping her lips around her toe. yeji squeals, trying to pull her foot away but ryujin is persistent amongst everyone's hollering and cheering, counting down the seconds.
she finally breaks away with a laugh, making a show of licking her lips while yeji blushes, yelling at her and slapping her arm, shoving her drink into her hand and making her rinse out her mouth.
bambam shyly goes forward next, he spins the bottle, and it lands on nayeon. his eyebrows almost get lost in his hairline with how far up they go, his head shooting up and looking at nayeon who was leaning on jihyo heavily, still laughing at the whole ryujin-yeji situation.
his boys clap him on the back with a cheer, pushing him forward towards the older girl. nayeon blinks, turning her attention to him, realising he had spun her.
her eyes meet yours for a second, and then they flit around the room, landing on sana and momo respectively, it's so quick you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't already locked on her gaze.
bambam moves forward shyly, kneeling in front of her, unsure of what to do. she leans back a little as he comes closer, putting on an encouraging smile, looking up at him.
he takes a breath, then dives down, you can hear their teeth clacking as he accidentally goes in too aggressively, nayeon cringes, but tries to make up for it by tilting her head, pressing her lips against his, trying to urge him to slow down, but bambam moves almost too eagerly, like he's eating her up. in the end, nayeon has to gently push him off of her to get him to stop, he looks dazed as he collapses back in his spot, bright blush on his face all the way down to his neck. nayeon tries to look polite and laughs it off, moving forward and quickly spinning the bottle to move everyone along.
only for it land on momo.
"oh hell no." they both say simultaneously, blushing furiously and gaping at each other from across the circle. you catch sana's eye, supressing a laugh as you look between the two of them.
"dare! i pick dare!"
sana perks up, taking the opportunity immediately, "okay i dare you to kiss momo!"
the boys around the circle all laugh, agreeing with her energetically, starting up a chant. momo sends a death glare towards sana, who just sticks out her tongue at her, making an exaggerated kissy face mimicking momo and nayeon kissing.
with no choice, nayeon shuffles forward, crouching down in front of momo who can't look her in the eye.
"don't fall in love with me or anything hirai."
that gets momo to snort, meeting nayeon's equally nervous gaze, "as if i'll be able to think about anything other than getting rid of the taste of you-" she's cut off, nayeon leaning down to plant her lips on her in haste.
momo blinks at first in confusion, then she's closing her eyes and circling a hand around nayeon's neck, pulling her in just a little closer and returning the kiss. they ignore the roar of the crowd, nayeon thinks to herself how much better momo's lips felt against her own than bambam's teeth did.
that thought quickly rips her away though, scrambling backwards and wiping at her lips in mock disgust, laughing breathily with a pretty blush adorning her face.
momo looks on after her, her expression unreadable. after things settle down again, momo leans forward, spinning the bottle.
sana doesn't even give anyone the chance to think, sliding forward and into momo's lap, cupping her cheek and bringing their lips together. momo reacts automatically, hands circling sana's hips and slotting them together, like they've done this countless times in the past.
watching nayeon and momo kiss was silly, fun, but this, this was something different. you glance at nayeon, who has a hand at her lips, staring at sana and momo make out in front of everyone, eyebrows furrowed slightly. you look back, swearing you can see the hint of a pink tongue poke out from sana, momo's hands tightening around the other girl's hips in reaction, before sana finally breaks away. she stands up, sauntering back to her spot with a proud grin, people are cheering, throwing confetti, bowing down to her as if she just brought rain down in a drought. she thrives in the attention. momo on the other hand is breathing heavily, expression shielded behind her hair, biting her lip and clenching her thighs together.
sana does a round around the inside of the circle, giggling and skipping along in her little pink slip. she finally arrives back to her original spot, bending down and spinning the bottle.
it lands on one of the younger trainees, dahyun. sana smiles sweetly, crawling forward. she whispers a few words to dahyun, who nods shyly, breath picking up, then sana leans in, just pecking her before pulling away again. nothing like the kiss she shared with momo.
you decide you need a drink.
at this point in the night, the kitchen is thankfully much less chaotic. most people are playing the game, on the dance floor, or passed out around the house.
you spoon a ladle of the jungle juice that probably has ludicrous amounts of liquor in it into your cup, gulping it down thirstily. you don't know why you suddenly felt so stifled in that room, feeling hot even in the little cropped top and skirt you're wearing.
"y/n?"
you turn, of course it's your three roommates, all looking very concerned for you.
"hey. you okay?" sana comes up to you first, cupping your cheeks, placing the back of her hand on the front of your forehead.
you wave her off with a chuckle, "yeah i'm fine guys. why did you leave the game?"
"because you left." momo says simply, taking the cup you're still holding in your hand away from you, sniffing the contents.
"you didn't have to do that. i was just taking a water break."
"riiiight. water." momo raises an eyebrow unimpressively, pouring the rest of your drink down the sink nearby.
"i'm fine though seriously! you guys should get back to the game."
"you're not coming?" sana pouts.
"not really feeling it anymore."
"do you wanna go home?" nayeon speaks up then, coming forward to lean on sana's back, her face resting on sana's shoulder, looking up at you with wide eyes.
"what? no! you guys have fun. seriously, stop worrying about me i'm fine!"
"we can't have fun without you."
"i'm sure you can."
"no. we're not the four of us without you. we're just... the three of us." sana tilts her head like a confused puppy, her proximity to you making you dizzy, you're not sure if it's the alcohol, or the fact that she was so close, but you can only focus on her lips, which then remind you of the way her lips had been on momo's lips, that had been on nayeon's lips. yeah you were definitely a little more than dizzy.
"wooahh- too much to drink i think." momo sidles up next to you, catching your waist, and holding you up against her. she jokes, "didn't think you'd be the same kinda drunk as nayeon y/n. i don't know if we have enough personnel to take care of the both of you."
you groan, pushing yourself back onto your own two feet, leaning back against the kitchen bench, "don't compare me to that trainwreck."
"hey!"
you all laugh, sana's hands coming down to squeeze nayeon's that are around her waist, turning to peck her cheek.
"i'm getting tired anyway. let's go home."
"what? guys no- you don't have to do this for me- you can stay-"
"we're not doing this for you idiot. i wanna sleep too. i'm gonna be grumpy tomorrow morning if we don't get enough sleep and i have dance practice with jyp."
"you're always grumpy in the mornings momoring."
"no i'm not!"
"yes you are." nayeon quips.
"shut up or i'll kiss you again im."
that makes everyone pause, processing the words in their head. momo doesn't even seem to realise what she's said, staring fiercely back at nayeon, only focused on winning their little bouts of banter.
you all stand in the kitchen in awkward silence, looking nervously at each other, unsure of what to say.
eventually sana speaks up, laughing edgily. "are y/n and i interrupting something orr...?"
"what?! no?!" they both speak up, protesting loudly.
you laugh, trying to ease the tension that seems to have come out of nowhere. "i could've said that about you and momo sana. that was some kiss." that was probably not the right thing to say to ease the tension.
"that's nothing. sana and i kiss all the time." momo brushes you off, shrugging, but sana looks hurt at the her words.
"nothing?"
"wait what do you mean all the time?"
momo blushes, looking between sana and nayeon. but sana's easily emotional feelings, amplified by her intoxication, have her eyes watering, sending momo straight into panic mode. "wait no- that's not what i meant satang-"
"then what did you mean?" sana frowns, you weren't sure if she was genuinely angry now or still playing around.
"i don't- satang i'm stupid we know this i just say stupid shit- things just come out of my mouth i didn't mean it like that-"
"then in what way did you mean it momoring?" her tone is clipped, throat scratchy.
"satang this isn't fair-"
"what isn't?"
"c'mon- satang please-"
all of a sudden, sana lurches forward, pressing her lips against momo's, trapping her against the kitchen counter. nayeon falls onto you without sana holding her up, you quickly grab her waist, supporting her, but both your eyes move back to sana and momo quickly.
they're kissing for real this time, not like when they were putting on a show for everyone else during the game. and you're both close enough you can hear the wet smacks of lips against lips, the little gasps and whimpers, every breath they take in between each kiss. momo's hands have come up to tangle in sana's hair, pulling her closer, their bodies meeting and moving against each other like they were made for each other.
you squirm slightly under nayeon, hands gripping her waist tighter at the sight, the dizzy feeling from earlier returning full force. you try and force yourself to focus on something else, it was probably a bit weird, to be so close, staring as your two closest friends made out, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away, your gaze lidded at the rushed pace, tongues clashing and being sucked into mouths.
you can tell nayeon is feeling very similarly, her hot breath hitting your lips at a faster pace than normal, laboured with excitement.
there's a crashing sound from upstairs where they were playing the game, followed by loud whooping and cheering. it pops the bubble that's formed between the four of you. sana breaks away from momo, panting, hands having come in to hold onto the other girl's hips, pushing her into the bench further having squeezed their bodies together as close as possible.
"w-was that- nothing?" her voice comes out hoarse and in a whisper, still catching her breath.
momo can't speak, her eyes still tightly shut, shaking her head in response.
"then what was it?"
momo groans, knocking her forehead against sana's gently, "don't ask me that sana." her voice is also laced with shaky breaths.
"why not?"
"it's confusing. you know i can't handle thinking about that much."
"am i confusing?"
she shakes her head again, but then points to you and nayeon, drawing a circle between the four of you, "this is confusing."
that gives sana pause, thinking over the possible implications of momo's words, taking the chance to catch her breath. then she looks up to the both of you, her eyes dragging up from the way you're still clutching nayeon's waist tightly, before meeting yours. the eye contact sends shivers down your spine, even when her eyes leave yours to stare into nayeon's, you can still feel all your senses on alert, breath held, tensions at an all time high.
sana's head tilts again, considering the both of you. then, she seems to come to a decision, and she's just as quick as she always is.
before you realise it, her lips are on yours, hand cupping your cheek, the other wrapped around nayeon to keep her there.
it's nothing like that first kiss you shared weeks ago. that was a simple peck, there and gone. this time, sana's moving her lips against yours, fingers caressing your cheek, down to your neck, lips soft and wet, panting directly into your mouth.
momo forces her eyes open, staring at you and sana kiss with hooded eyes. hands coming back down to grip the bench behind her, knuckles almost turning white from how hard she was holding onto it.
sana breaks away from you, but without taking a breath, turns her head, and starts kissing nayeon.
nayeon is only slightly surprised, almost all her weight leaning on you, gripping the back of your top tightly, reciprocating sana's kiss with as much vigor as sana gives.
when they finally break apart, you're all still breathing heavily, looking between each other, tension surmounting, thousands of words unsaid.
it's nayeon that speaks up first this time. she whistles lowly, letting out a small chuckle, "so... that wasn't... nothing."
"no." momo agrees. their eyes meet.
sana rolls her eyes, getting impatient, "so do you two wanna fuck or do you wanna fight?"
neither of them protest this time, they don't even laugh it off, you can all feel the very real pressure in the air.
"dunno. i think i need a..." momo licks her lips, "another taste to know." then she leans forward, capturing nayeon's lips with her own, straight up moaning at the contact. your thighs clench together at the sound. all of this was getting too much for your dumb little drunk brain. you had been spectating more than you had been involved, and it'd be a lie if you said you weren't turned on by it all.
nayeon and momo's kiss is different from sana's kisses. they're both aggressive, fighting for dominance, their natural banter translated onto their lips, grunts and gasps, trying to one-up each other.
eventually, they break away, but momo transitions straight over to you.
"need to compare." she mumbles lowly before attaching her lips to yours. she's much more gentle with you, teasing your mouth open before dipping her tongue inside, you whine against her, hips moving of their own accord when they grind up into nayeon who's still leaning on you for support.
you hear nayeon swear under her breath, regaining some of her drunk-addled consciousness to grip your hips roughly to stop you from doing that again. but that's the end of her control, she leans in, close enough so momo and you can both hear her, just inches away from your mouths moving against each other.
"my turn."
momo obliges, breaking away from you, only for nayeon to latch on. you can still hear momo's rough breathing next to your ear while your lips start moving against nayeon's, once again, with a completely different kissing style to momo and sana. she's slow and languid, pressed against your lips until you're just about to be out of breath, before breaking away and coming back in. she finishes with a little kitten lick on your upper lip, you whine, pushing your hips against her hands as she growls, pushing you back into the counter.
sana's spent the entire time watching all of you, having enough time to even pour herself another much needed drink. she swirls around the contents of her cup, downing it and speaking up again. "home?"
"home." you all unanimously agree.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
you wake up hazily with a pounding headache, vision blurred, mouth dry.
you squeeze your eyes shut again, the dim brightness of the room too much for you. you reach blindly for your glasses that should be next to your pillow on the top bunk of the bunk bed you share with sana. instead, your palm comes colliding with something that most definitely was not your glasses.
your eyes shoot open, squinting and trying to focus, as the person you've hit groans.
"10 more minutes."
"...momo?"
momo groans again, burying her face into the pillow you're sharing, hair messily coming to cover her eyes and furrowed eyebrows.
suddenly, memories of last night come flying back to you. you look down alarmingly, lifting the blanket slightly to find yourself very naked, with an equally naked momo curled around you, arm thrown lazily over your side, legs intertwined.
you also realise that this was not your bed. you were on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed opposite the one you shared with sana, this was nayeon's bed. now even more confused, you slowly turn your body, trying your best to not disturb momo who mumbles something while you shuffle around the bed, before pulling you closer into her.
the sudden feeling of her chest now pressed against your bare back surprises you, even though you knew you were both naked. you try your best to not think about it, squinting to look around the room for where nayeon could be if you were in her bed.
you didn't have to look far though, cuddled up on sana's bed right opposite you, is sana and nayeon. and you'd bet they were in the same state of undress you and momo were.
your heart rate picks up as you recall the events of last night. you hadn't exactly done a lot of talking. as soon as you got home, you were all over each other, somehow, you had made the limited space, and the fact that not all four of you could fit on one little bunk bed work for all of you. your thighs tingle with the memory, a blush adorning your face.
eventually, it's sana that wakes up first, turning in her bed and blinking at you slowly.
you let her come to her senses, your eyes drifting down to where the blanket has fallen in her movement, breath catching at the sight of her pretty naked chest moving up and down slowly with each breath.
sana doesn't mind the attention, she never has, she yawns, stretching unabashedly, revealing more of herself, sitting up and letting the blanket fall to her waist. "morning." she grumbles out, her voice scratchy and deep with fatigue.
you gulp, unable to tear your eyes away from her, "morning."
nayeon whines as sana moves, slowly waking up as well, her arm curled around sana's thighs, trying to keep her still.
sana reaches around and pulls an oversized shirt on, patting her hair down. you're not sure if you're thankful or mournful she's covered up.
"what time is it?" nayeon's voice speaks up, laced with the same hoarse tiredness you're sure you all have right now.
sana picks up her phone on the bedside table next to her bed, you're not sure where yours is. "6."
"too early. come back to bed."
sana giggles then, putting her phone back down and running a hand through nayeon's hair. "don't you have a schedule to get to later?"
"yeah later."
"... we should talk anyway." she's strangely serious, normally the most energetic of you all, even in the mornings. it gets nayeon to look up, hair messy, squinting, placing her chin on sana's thigh.
sana smiles at the sight, you find nayeon's glasses next to her bed, reaching to hand it over.
sana murmurs her thanks, stretching out to grab it from you and gently placing it over the eldest's eyes. she looks adorable.
"how long have you been awake?" nayeon directs the question to you, finally able to see you were awake and looking at the two of them.
you smile, "not that long."
"is momo...?"
"still asleep."
"should we wake her?"
"she's not gonna like that."
"she needs to get up in a bit anyway. she has practice with jyp later remember?"
in agreement, you turn in your spot again, smiling at the sight of momo, mouth hanging open slightly, black hair framing her face. hesitantly, you nudge her shoulder. there's no response, so you nudge her again, a little harder. she groans, grabbing your hand and interlacing your fingers, "10 more minutes."
you giggle, "you said that 10 minutes ago."
she mumbles incoherently, drifting back into sleep.
you roll your eyes, nudging her again, except she doesn't respond. so you resort to different measures, your other hand that isn't being held captive by her, sneaks down between the two of you, and you start tickling her sides.
she squirms, blinking, waking up, whiny and giggly.
"s-stop- stop y/n- stop- i'm up i'm up!"
there's laughter from behind you as well, and momo sits up, pushing your hands away to stop you from your attack. not that she needed to, your eyes focused on something else as soon as the covers left her body. but of course, she bumps her head on the bunk, yelping, and cradling the top of her head, her hangover only worsening.
"okay okay guys- before we talk- i'm gonna need all of you to put on some clothes." you speak up, eyes still staring at momo's chest, almost drooling over her.
momo raises an eyebrow, before she shoves her chest into your face, rolling on top of you and squishing you.
"wha- momo- hey! no- mmf-"
you can hear everyone laughing as momo gets her revenge, pulling on the back of your neck while pushing out her chest, squeezing your face in between her breasts.
she finally breaks away once she's had enough, grinning and plucking a shirt down from her bunk on the top bed, pulling it loosely over her body.
"there. better?" she's kneeling on top of you, legs on both sides of your torso, shirt just long enough to reach past her top thighs. you gulp, eyes trained on the skin of her legs. momo rolls her eyes, pulling her shirt down a little more, coughing to get your attention.
your eyes snap back up to her with a blush.
she grins, leaning down easily and pecking you, rolling off of you again with one leg still thrown over your legs and cuddling into your side.
"morning losers."
"you're inconceivable momo."
"where'd you learn that word from? my ass?"
nayeon blushes, digging into sana's thighs. "throw me a shirt you little gremlin."
"get it yourself."
"you're on my bed!"
momo blinks, looking down at herself, finally coming to realise her surroundings. "oh."
sana laughs, pulls a shirt from under her bed and hands it to nayeon, "just borrow one of mine for now."
"sana i just got one for her!"
"give it to y/n."
"you just wanted to see her in your clothes."
"so?"
momo grumbles, handing the shirt she had grabbed for nayeon to you, helping you pull it on, hand skimming over the skin of your side and stomach.
“so…” you cough awkwardly, squirming under momo’s fingers that have stayed beneath your shirt, drawing random shapes into your skin.
“wait why do we need to talk?” she speaks up, leaning on her elbow, face on her palm looking across the room.
sana laughs, “is it simple for you now momoring?”
“is what simple?”
“i love your brain you idiot.”
“huh?” momo looks as confused as ever, too early to be thinking about anything.
sana takes a breath, gripping nayeon’s hand, “i like you. all of you.”
momo blinks, “we like you too.”
“i don’t want to kiss mina the way i kiss you momoring.”
“oh.” momo looks at sana, thinking, “but don’t you kiss everyone?”
sana laughs again, “is that what you think of me?”
she shrugs, “we kiss all the time.” she quickly corrects herself, not wanting to make the same mistake as last night, “and it doesn’t mean nothing. i’m sorry for saying that last night.”
the younger smiles, appreciates the effort, “you’re right. i kiss you all the time. no one else. i think you just get too dazed to notice anything else after we kiss.”
nayeon snorts, laughing loudly.
“what about dahyun last night?” you speak up, recalling the whispered words sana said to the younger trainee.
“we were playing spin the bottle. nayeonnie doesn’t like bambam even though she kissed him right?”
nayeon’s laughs turn into coughs very quickly, “absolutely the fuck not.”
“i was just making sure dahyunnie was okay with me kissing her, i told her it’d be really quick and i wouldn’t kiss her like i did momo. you don’t have to be jealous y/n.” she teases.
you whine, “i wasn’t!! i was just curious…”
“wait… is that why you left the game early last night?”
you feel your cheeks heat up, refusing to acknowledge the question.
“y/n!”
“what!”
“you should’ve told us! or me.”
“no way. i didn't even know what i was feeling. i just needed to get some air."
"will you tell us next time?"
"next time what?"
"next time you feel anything. even if you don't know what the feeling is."
you smile, pulling momo's hand that was creeping dangerously higher out from under your shirt, and interlocking your fingers, "yes. i will. i like you all too."
"blegh."
you and sana both look at nayeon with a frown.
"what?" she asks simply, crunching her nose up.
"nerd." sana pushes nayeon off her thigh, rolling her eyes.
"i'm not good with feelings!"
"get better with them then because i'm not dating an emotionless narcissist."
nayeon perks up, ignoring the insult, "we're dating?"
sana blushes, "i don't know. do you guys want to?"
"i do." you offer sana a reassuring smile, she's been leading the conversation this whole time and it took a lot of courage to do that. "momo, nayeon?"
"i don't think anything changes between us. except we all get to kiss and have sex whenever we want right?"
"momo!" you slap her hand lightly, she snickers.
"yeah. i'm pretty happy with that."
you all turn your gazes to nayeon.
she rolls her eyes, "as long as i get to top momo."
"just try it!"
"i will!"
you spend the rest of the morning, laughing, cuddling, doing things you'd always do together, but now with more freedom and less confusion.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
sometimes, you wish you had a different dream. a lot of the time really.
it hasn't been a good week. monthly trainee evaluations were coming up, and everyone could feel the pressure. there were rumours running around that jyp was preparing a survival show to debut the next girl group, and he was in the midst of picking trainees to participate, so everyone was on edge more than ever.
the one who had it the worst was momo.
you wince, curling in on yourself, knees to your chest, head resting on your knees, while you listen to your girlfriend dry heave in the bathroom.
nayeon's pacing around the room, obviously agitated, wishing she could do something to help. sana was in practice, you knew how hard she was working recently, she didn't need to worry about anything more right now.
"-stupid fucking trainers. they're all fucking blind she doesn't need to lose weight. they're gonna fucking kill her fuck-"
the bathroom door creaks open. both you and nayeon's heads snap towards it immediately.
nayeon rushes forward, holding momo up, caressing her cheek, brushing hair out of her face.
momo looks pale as a ghost. she's trembling, exhausted, you can barely stand to look at her without breaking down in tears. she knows. she knows how you all felt about her. so even when she's suffering the most, she still manages to crack a joke, "you care about me now im?"
"shut up momo. this isn't the time for that. you should lie down."
momo groans weakly, "can't. need to go to the gym."
nayeon explodes then, "what?! you are not going to the fucking gym right now momo. look at yourself! you're dying!"
"you still think i'm hot though right?" she grins. it has none of her usual sparkle, no mischief, just white teeth and lips.
"shut up or i'll kill you before you kill yourself."
the younger girl shrugs, you can see her bones with the movement.
"don't go to the gym. you already haven't eaten anything for the last five days. you haven't even drunk water for the last five days."
"yeah and i've still got 2 and a half kilos to lose."
"you don't- you shouldn't have to do that! you're skinny enough! you're going to die before you lose that weight!"
momo takes a shaky breath, you're surprised when a tear escapes her eye. even the fact that her body still has enough water to cry, and her not being the type of person to cry much in the first place, especially in front of other people, is shocking enough. she can't hold herself up any longer, collapsing onto the bed next to you. you open your arms immediately, lowering your legs, adjusting so she can lean all her weight on you. the feeling of her body against yours is terrifying. she's all bones. you can feel each rib, every pointy bone in her joints.
"i know. i'm so scared of dying." she whispers out eventually, still crying silently.
nayeon squeezes in as well, holding one of momo's hands, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it softly.
"i don't want to sleep. i'm terrified i won't wake up again. that i won't be able to see you guys again."
there are tears streaming down yours and nayeon's faces as well now.
"then eat. please darling. you need to eat." nayeon begs, wiping at her eyes furiously.
momo looks up at her weakly, smiling even now, "you know i can't. you'd both be doing the same thing if you were in my position right now."
you hold back choked sobs, burying your face into her neck. she can feel the tears staining it.
"it's okay. i'm gonna be okay. we're all going to be okay." her hand finds yours, squeezes both your hand and nayeon's.
"it's not fair. you're pretty much the same weight as me. why are they making you do this?"
she shrugs again, her sharp shoulders dig into your chest, "maybe they're testing me."
"for what?" nayeon says incredulously.
"dunno. if i have the willpower. if i'm ready to die for my dream. who knows."
"it's not willpower. it's fucking starvation. you're not even- you're all muscle. there's nothing to lose. the number on that scale is only higher because muscle is heavier than fat. and you wouldn't have all that muscle if you weren't the best dancer in this fucking company."
"you think i'm the best dancer?"
nayeon sighs frustratedly, "i know you are. darling... please. please just- some water- anything-"
"i can't. i'm sorry."
you've been talking in circles for days. the same thing, over and over again, begging her to eat, drink some water, rest. she's persistent though, hasn't broken once. when she first told you all the news, you were aghast, angry, but not surprised. you all thought you knew what it meant to lose 7 kilograms in a week, it was terrible, but it wouldn't be impossible. they wouldn't set you an impossible task. there has always been importance placed on your weight in this industry. they weighed you every morning before classes, tracked your progress, what you ate, how often you worked out, made sure you were kept consistently underweight, just how the public liked you. if they said momo needed to lose 7 kilograms to be attractive, to get a chance to debut, then she needed to lose 7 kilograms.
it wasn't until around the third day that you realised just what that meant though.
she collapsed in dance class. it wasn't an out of the ordinary experience, they put all of you on the edge of malnutrition, so there were always girls fainting left and right. but it was the first time for momo. and unlike the other girls who were instructed to eat better, momo was encouraged to keep doing what she was doing. because it was working, she was losing a kilogram everyday, more than that at the time because all her water weight was gone first.
so she came home that night proud that she had collapsed. they'd brainwashed her.
and so she kept on going. when all the trainees were off enjoying lunch, she had two fingers down her throat in the company bathrooms. when everyone retired to go home for the night and rest, she'd be running 10 miles an hour on the treadmill at the gym. naturally, her body started shutting down. she was losing too much weight too quickly, she wasn't getting the nutrients she needed to function as a human being, her body was in a state of panic, it was retaining as much weight as it could, it thought momo was in trouble, that it needed to protect her from all of these sudden changes, so it's natural she stopped losing weight at such a fast rate.
she didn't care if it was natural. all that mattered was that that number on the scale was 7 kilograms less than it was when she was first told to lose the weight.
on the outside, you could see how much it was affecting her, not just physically, but mentally as well. you were so confused what to do, you wanted to support her, and as a trainee who had the same dream as her, you understood why she was doing what she was doing, but you also didn't want her to die. you wanted your momo back, the one that smiled and laughed and played around with sana, secretly loving how affectionate sana was despite her outwardly 'cool girl' persona. you wanted the momo that teased and fought with nayeon, the only one that could bring nayeon back down to earth when she was getting too much in her head. you wanted the momo that kissed and pulled you into her whenever you shared a bed, that clung to you in the morning when you had to get up, whiny and pouty and sleepy. she was a shell of herself now. they had ripped the life out of one of your favourite people on the planet.
the door to your dorm clicks open softly.
you're all still cuddled up on the bed, squeezed against one another.
sana walks in, a tired smile on her face. it immediately disappears once she sees the tear streaks on all of your faces.
she rushes forward, cupping momo's cheeks, checking her pulse.
"i'm alive satang don't worry."
"did you eat?"
"you know i haven't."
sana's the most emotional of you all. just seeing her favourite people crying has her own tears welling up.
"oh satang not you too-"
"i can't help it. look at you momoring. why didn't you guys tell me?" she directs that to you and nayeon, frowning.
"you were at practice. we didn't want you to worry."
"momo is more important than practice."
"no satang. monthly evaluations are in two days. you're gonna make that lineup."
"i don't care if i make it if you die momo!"
"stop it. all this talk about- i'm not going to die guys. i'm fine, don't give up on me yet. i'm still here. if you all think i'm not going to make it then how am i supposed to think i'm going to make it?"
"that's not fair momo." you speak up, still cuddled into her neck. "this isn't- this isn't a daily worry. we live in the fucking twenty first century it's not normal to worry about whether or not you're going to live to see tomorrow."
"please momoring. here-" sana starts scrambling around in her bag, pulling out a thermos. "just one please-" she shakes out an ice cube, holds it out to momo in her palm.
momo stares at it, watches it melt, her mouth open, lips dry.
"please it's just one-"
"i-i... i can't-"
sana sobs, head falling into her elbow, crouched on the floor.
nayeon gently takes the ice cube from her, holds it in her palm, watching momo's gaze follow it.
"momo..."
"don't make me nayeon. please. i can't."
"i'm not. i won't." nayeon makes sure momo is still watching her, then she slowly takes the ice cube into her own mouth. she sucks on it, her cheeks hollowing out, melts it in her mouth slowly. when she's done, she opens her mouth, showing she's swallowed it all, then she asks, "do i look different?"
momo looks at her confused, "no?"
"if i went on that scale, how much do you think my weight will change?"
momo gets it, her face darkening again, "don't do this nayeon."
"just answer the question."
"...it probably wouldn't."
"right. look, here, y/n, have one." she reaches for sana's thermos, you hold out your hand, accepting the cold cube, then you pop it in your mouth, burying yourself back to your position in her neck, kissing the skin there gently with your cool lips.
she sighs on top of you.
nayeon's shaking another one out, popping it in her mouth, then she's giving one to sana who has her hand out, staring at momo with wide, hopeful eyes.
momo looks between the three of you, you all had so much love for her, you all just wanted the best for her. it was one ice cube. her body was screaming for it.
slowly, she holds her palm out.
you all stare at her with bated breath, almost in disbelief.
she smiles, "i've probably cried out enough for an ice cube right?"
sana lets out a broken laugh, nayeon's quick to shake out an ice cube into momo's palm.
momo stares down at it, brings it up to her mouth, takes a breath, then encloses her lips around it.
she sighs again, closing her eyes, reveling in the coolness of it, leaning back against you more.
you let her, leaning back fully until you're laid on the bed, spooning her. nayeon comes in behind you, squeezing herself against the wall, an arm coming up to rest on your midriff, her hand able to reach momo's side. sana clambers up as well, kissing momo's forehead and sniffling, looping an arm around her waist and snuggling in. after you had started dating you ended up pushing the two bunk beds in your room together so you could all share the bottom bunk, and so you could use the top bunks for storage space. it was still a little bit of a squeeze but the four of you didn't mind. you liked being as close as you all possibly could.
momo couldn't shake the thought that the ice cube melting down her throat would add on another kilogram or two, but she tried to focus on the feeling of her loved ones curled around her instead, falling into a restless sleep, praying she would be able to wake up and feel like this again.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
you grip your fork tightly, stabbing into your bland salad.
sana sits next to you, just as stiff, staring daggers across the cafeteria.
momo doesn't seem to mind though. she's happily munching away at her leaves. your heart softens a little at the sight, remembering how far she pushed herself last month, at least she was eating better now.
but then nayeon's laugh breaks through again, loud and bright. your jaw tightens at the sound.
"that's it." sana goes to stand but you tug on her hand, pulling her back down.
"don't."
"why not?" she spits, you've never seen her so livid. she was the happy charm of the company, people forget she could feel other emotions too.
"you'll cause a scene."
"good. then maybe he'll get his fucking baby hands off her."
"we can't. everyone will wonder why."
"why what?" she's still seething.
"why you have an issue with them. at worst they’ll think there’s something going on between you and nayeon. at best they’ll think you have a crush on him."
sana blanches, flicking her gaze over to you, “what?!”
“i don’t like it either. but we just have to trust her right?” you offer a smile, it’s a bit wonky and forced and sana sees straight through it, but it does get her to calm down a bit, taking a breath and slumping down in her seat.
“fine.”
“she loves you.”
“whatever.”
you smile genuinely at momo who looks at you in confusion, her mouth still full of lettuce. you shake your head, gesturing for her to keep eating and not to worry.
it’s not until later in the day when you have combined level dance practice that the issue comes up again. normally, he wouldn’t be near your class, sana and momo were naturally gifted dancers, so they were in higher level classes, and nayeon was an all-rounder, she was always in every top class to ensure she was around other people her level.
“they’d be cute wouldn’t they?” jihyo makes light conversation while you’re all stretching.
jeongyeon scoffs, “are you serious? he’s like… a baby.”
“he won’t be for that much longer.”
“gross dude!”
jihyo laughs.
“who are you guys talking about?” momo moves towards your group, mina in tow behind her.
“bambam and nayeon.”
“oh.” she drops down in a stretch, “what about them?”
jeongyeon snickers, teasing momo, “of course you didn’t know you airhead. bambam has a crush on her.”
“really?”
“yeah. did you see him almost wet himself when he got her during spin the bottle at jackson’s party?”
“it was so funny! and then when he went in to kiss her, that was so awkward! poor kid, i almost felt bad for him.”
“i don’t.” sana speaks up then, her teeth gritted, eyebrows furrowed, not even bothering to hide her gaze, staring at bambam and nayeon playing around in the mirror.
jihyo and jeongyeon exchange glances, confused.
“uhh… you okay sana?”
her eyes snap back up to meet jeongyeon’s, “yeah. fine, why?”
“you just seem a little… edgy.”
sana huffs, standing up again, “just tired.” she doesn’t say anything else, turning on her heel and leaving the training room.
momo catches your eye, tilts her head in question.
you shake your head, speaking up, “i’ll check on her.”
you jog outside, finding her near the water fountain.
“hey.”
“if you’re gonna lecture me again i don’t want to hear it.”
“no i wasn’t- i didn’t mean to lecture you at lunch. i just wanted to check on you.”
she sighs, sinking down into the cushion next to the fountain. you carefully sit next to her.
“i’m sorry. i just- i do trust her i just- i don’t trust him.”
“he’s just a kid sweetie.”
she scoffs, “yeah a hormonal pubescent teenage boy. they’re soo innocent, not like they don’t watch porn and jack off to every woman who even breathes near them.”
you’re about to reply when the door to the dance studio opens again, it’s nayeon.
she pokes her head out, looks up and down the hallway, and spots you, grinning. she jogs down to the both of you.
“hey! what are you guys doing here? class is about to start!”
sana doesn’t bother meeting her gaze, “oh so now you care about us?”
nayeon frowns, looks at you in confusion, you feel incredibly awkward, avoiding her eyes as well, “what’s going on?”
“nothing. go back to your boyfriend.”
“what?”
“you heard me.”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about sana. c’mon, let’s go to practice.”
“you don’t? is it that natural for you to drape yourself all over him?”
“what?”
sana finally looks up, eyes red and angry, “bambam. you know he likes you. why do you entertain him?”
“what? sana he’s just a kid-“
sana stands then, throwing her hands up in frustration, you keep your gaze locked on your shoes, “a kid! i’m sick of hearing that! so what if he’s a fucking kid? we’re fucking kids. you all think it’s so impossible that the im nayeon would ever like someone like him so it shouldn’t be anything to worry about right?! you know what sounds more impossible?! that im nayeon is in a polyamorous relationship with three other girls. three other kids!”
“sana! calm down don’t be so loud-“
“no don’t you tell me to fucking calm down. you see? we have to hide this. us. we can’t even talk about us in public. i was okay with that! because i still had you all. you were all worth it! but you could get with bambam right now and people wouldn’t even bat an eye. they’d celebrate it, congratulate him for pulling the girl, all while we can’t even hold hands in public without people looking at us weird!”
“but i- i don’t want to be with him! i want to be with all of you!”
“then don’t fucking laugh at his jokes, touch his biceps, compliment his fucking hair!”
“but- honey that’s all harmless-“
“you still don’t get it! you-"
the door opens once again, and this time it's momo's head that pops out. she frowns when she sees all of you, walking up, tilting her head in question.
sana huffs, "whatever. i'm not feeling like practice today. tell the instructors i'm sick please."
"wait sana-"
she turns on her heel and struts briskly away.
nayeon sighs in frustration, running a hand through her hair, "what is going on with her?" she mutters to herself.
you frown, the events of the day culminating, you wish nayeon could see where you were coming from, "she told you. i think it was pretty obvious." you didn't mean to sound so clipped, your tone just slipped out that way.
nayeon looks down at you, you were never one to talk back, you'd kept more of your emotions to yourself. "are you angry with me too then?"
"that's not it nayeon. look i don't want to fight. let's just go to practice."
you stand up, brushing past her, unable to look her in the eye. you can hear momo questioning nayeon behind you before you open the door to the practice room again, thinking over sana's words that left a heavy feeling in your stomach.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
after practice, you and momo go and grab dinner while nayeon has to go to another vocal lesson.
momo's still blissfully unaware, talking about how the dance practice was and how much fun she had in such a big class with everybody. you listen to her ramble with a smile, not wanting to burst her bubble.
it's unavoidable when you go home later that night and find nayeon alone in your dorm, freshly showered and typing away at her phone.
momo skips in first, kissing nayeon and grabbing some clothes to shower into, heading into the bathroom right after.
nayeon looks at you then, putting her phone down, "hey."
"hi." you shrug off your bag, taking off your shoes.
"where's sana?"
"i thought she'd be home by now."
she frowns, "i haven't seen her since..."
you bite your lip, growing slightly concerned, "should we call her?"
"i don't know if she would pick up for me..."
"right..." you take out your phone, scrolling to sana's contact and pressing dial. it rings for a little, and just before you're about to give up, she picks up, giggly and breathy.
"y/n!! i miss you! what's up!"
you squint, there was a lot of background noise, "sana where are you?"
"out! i'm having fun!"
"where?"
"i don't really know but i'll be home soon! i promise! i love you!" she blows a kiss through the phone and then she hangs up.
you stare down at her contact picture, it was of her and a hamster plushie momo had won for her when you had gone on a date to the carnival. you had all agreed it looked like her and she had hated it because she thought you were saying her chubby cheeks were the resemblance point.
"is she okay?" nayeon speaks up again, barefaced with her thick glasses on.
"i think so. she sounded... she said she'd be home soon."
"oh."
"yeah."
it's oddly quiet, awkward. you start shuffling out of your day clothes, picking out pyjamas for your turn to shower after momo.
"are we okay?" nayeon breaks the silence suddenly, eyes seemingly even bigger behind her glasses. she fiddles with her fingers nervously.
you sigh, moving around the small room to clean up a little, if only to give your hands something to do, so you had an excuse not to look at her. "i don't know. i think sana's less okay than me."
"but you're still... not okay?"
"i feel silly. momo doesn't even feel anything about it. i wish i was the same. i know you'd never cheat on us or whatever, i just- it's still hard y'know? watching you be like that with him. like- you wouldn't want to see me all over another guy right?"
"but he doesn't mean anything to me. he's just- he's like my little brother."
"i know that's why i feel silly. i know realistically you'd never leave us for him. but it still hurts sometimes- like- like you're dangling the fact that you can in front of our faces."
she's quiet for a bit. you risk it to sneak a glance at her. she has her eyebrows furrowed, thinking.
you sigh again, moving forward and standing next to the bed. you place your hand on her head, then start running your fingers through her hair.
"i'm sorry. i don't want to be- i'm not trying to be clingy or jealous or whatever i just can't help it. i- i- i love you."
she looks up at you, surprised. your hands move down to cup her cheeks, smoothing out the skin, there.
you lean down, pressing your forehead against hers, breathing softly, closing your eyes, appreciating her presence. then, you move the extra inch to press your lips together, just slowly, softly, only for a second or two.
when you break away, she doesn't let you go, holding onto your wrist and tugging you down gently, asking you to hug her. and you oblige. kneeling on the bed, letting her wrap her arms around you, and place another kiss on the crown of your head.
"i love you too. i'm sorry i didn't- i wasn't aware of how it looked on the outside. i never- because he doesn't mean anything to me like that, i didn't think anything of it. i didn't realise you guys may have taken it differently. thank you for telling me."
you peck the side of her hand that's right next to your face, holding yours. "it's because you're a T isn't it?" you joke.
she chuckles behind you, "yeah and all my girlfriends are Fs. emotional losers."
"repressed freak."
she rolls her eyes, brings you in closer, "i love you."
"you said that already."
"i wanted you to know again."
"looks like our F is rubbing off on you."
she whines, "are you not going to say it back?"
you smile, "i love you too."
when momo comes out of her shower, she curls into bed immediately with you all, tired from her day and wanting no more than to sleep with her girlfriends. she hopes you've all made up and the fighting can stop tomorrow.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
"did she come home last night?"
"it doesn't look like it."
"fuck she's not picking up her phone either."
"where could she be?"
"what are we going to tell the company?"
"she can't just have gone missing right?"
you're all stressing, nayeon's pacing around the room like she does when she's agitated, momo's trying to call sana's cell, and you're checking her socials and her friends to see if anyone knows where she is.
"what did she say when you called her again yesterday?"
"that she'd come home soon. there was a lot of background noise though, she said she didn't know where she was."
"you don't think she's in trouble right?"
"i don't know..."
"fuck! i never should've fought with her yesterday!"
"don't- no nayeon this isn't your fault at all don't blame yourself. we're going to find her." you step up, halting her pacing, grabbing her hands and squeezing.
she sighs, gritting her teeth, "fine. c'mon. let's go to class, we're late. maybe someone there has seen her.”
before she moves to leave, you cup her cheek, turning her back to you and kiss her in reassurance. she offers a smile when you break away, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
momo keeps trying sana's phone while you walk to the company building. by now, you were all relatively well known in the company, and the tension could be felt by newer trainees, they cleared the way as you walked past, not wanting to get caught up in anything.
you push open the door to the dance studio hurriedly, not in the mood for another scolding from the trainers.
but you freeze, spotting sana on the floor, stretching and getting ready.
"y/n? what's wrong?" momo tries peeking over your shoulder to see why you've stopped, and then she spots her as well.
"satang!"
sana looks up, there are obvious bags under her eyes, she's sluggish in her movements. momo pushes past you, dumping her bag down and rushing over.
"where were you?! we've been calling you all morning!"
sana squints, backing away from momo who was speaking too loud for her, "phone died."
"we were worried satang! why didn't you come home last night?" she says the last part in a whisper, not wanting to get sana in trouble with the watchful trainers.
you and nayeon have both entered now as well, nayeon stands behind you a little awkwardly, unsure of how to approach.
"i was out." sana says simply.
"but where?"
"doesn't matter. i'm here now right?"
"sana we were really worried." you speak up now, crouching down into a stretch.
she looks at you, her eyes are lifeless. "and now there's nothing to be worried about. i'm fine."
"what happened to you last night? you said you'd come home and then you didn't. where did you sleep? did you sleep? you look terrible."
she cringes, "gee thanks."
"you know i didn't mean it like that. what aren't you telling us?"
at that moment, bambam chooses to come over and greet you all.
"morning nayeon!"
nayeon is still focused on sana, frowning, but she greets him offhandedly anyway, "morning bam."
"what? no morning for us bambam?" sana speaks up with a teasing smile, it's anything but harmless.
"o-oh! sorry. good morning sana, momo, y/n." he bows to each of you.
"i get it. it's your crush on nayeonnie isn't it? she's so pretty right? and born to be an idol. i can see why you like her."
bambam sputters, completely unprepared, blushing bright red.
sana's smile is sinister.
"sana stop."
she looks at you innocently, blinking, "stop what? i'm not doing anything."
"sana!" behind you, mark suddenly appears, clapping bambam on the back. "last night was fun. you should invite your roomies next time! i'm sure bam would appreciate that wouldn't he?" mark elbows bambam with a snicker.
"oh i'm sure he would. i don't know though, i kinda liked it when it was just us y'know?" she sports a smirk, the one she uses when she wants sex.
mark blushes, muttering something and then dragging bambam away.
"what the fuck sana?" nayeon finally speaks up, glowering.
"what?" she blinks up.
"you were out with mark last night?"
"so what if i was?"
"we were fucking worried."
"and i told you i'm fine now. there was no reason to worry."
"we thought something bad could've happened."
"yeah well obviously nothing did right!? i don't get why you guys are so pressed. i just had a little fun, i needed it, and it was good for me."
"you mean he was good for you?"
"better for me than you were."
nayeon falters at that, hurt flashing across her face, "i'm sorry."
"what for?"
"i didn't listen to you yesterday."
sana shrugs, "it's fine. i get why you like it. i tried it. it's the attention right? it's nice to know someone else is in love with you."
"that's not- that's not what i was doing sana-"
"then what were you doing? you're with us right? so why are you flirting with other people? worried we won't last? backup options? attention?"
"sana- please- can we talk about this i don't-"
"we are talking about this."
"not here. alone."
"you ashamed of me?"
"no! sana what-"
"mark can hold my hand in public. he can kiss me in public. he can call me his."
nayeon clenches her fist, "does he?"
sana shrugs again, not bothering to answer, moving into another stretch. you can't believe her, what you're hearing, you've never seen her like this. never thought she could be like this. momo looks to be in shock too, sitting on her haunches, staring at sana with hurt written all over her face. sana ignores you all.
class starts.
you keep sana in the corner of your eye. she fools around with mark, teasing him, playfighting with him, and ignores the three of you completely. you try and understand where she's coming from, why she was purposely trying to hurt you. she just told you she loved you last night, this wasn't real. she was just doing this as her own personal form of revenge. she didn't mean any of this.
you had to keep telling yourself that.
as class ends, sana looks like she’s about to go out with mark again, but you quickly run out the door, tugging on her arm, “can we talk?”
her eyes soften when she realises it’s you, but she still looks unsure.
that is, until momo links her arm with yours, pleading with sana as well.
“alright.”
you quickly lead her into one of the empty recording studios, gesturing for nayeon to come follow before sana can change her mind. as soon as you’re all inside, you stand against the door, blocking any routes of escape.
sana scoffs when she sees nayeon enter the room as well, but with you in the way, there’s nowhere to run.
“what did you want to talk about?” her tone is cutting, she rubs in between her eyebrows, pushing out the tension there.
“you.”
“what about me?”
“how could you do that to us satang?”
sana sighs, glancing at momo, “you notice now momoring? how come you didn’t have an issue when it was nayeon?”
“w-what?”
“you knew bambam liked nayeon. why didn’t you have a problem when nayeon was hanging all over him?”
nayeon tries to protest but momo replies quickly, wide-eyed, “what do you mean? nayeon doesn’t like bambam though.”
“and i don’t like mark. so what’s the difference?”
“you went after him.” you interject.
“no i didn’t.”
“then how did you end up hanging out with him last night?”
“he saw me crying outside the company. he offered to listen and then to distract me afterwards. i had fun. he didn’t make me cry.”
“sana…” nayeon’s lower lip is wobbly.
“what?”
“…i’m sorry. for not listening to you. i should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself and understand where you were coming from.”
sana’s quiet for a bit, staring at nayeon, turning the words over in her head slowly. and then her own lip starts wobbling, throat constricting, tears welling up.
nayeon panics, “fuck- no i didn’t want to make you cry i didn’t- i’m sorry i made you cry the first time i didn’t- i’m sorry-“ she desperately wants to comfort her but she’s not sure if she can, still in an awkward sort of limbo.
sana closes it though, almost leaping into nayeon’s arms, burrowing her face into her neck and breathing out shakily, sniffling.
“…i’m sorry too. i knew what i was doing- i was being petty and stupid and jealous and i hurt all of you doing that.” she whispers into nayeon’s neck, but it’s quiet enough in the room that you can all hear her.
you breathe a sigh of relief, internal turmoil calmed for the moment. you walk forwards, wrapping your arms around the both of them, feeling momo do so as well on the other side.
“i don’t like him. i didn’t kiss or hold hands or do whatever else i said in there. i just- it really didn’t bother me before. that we had to keep this to ourselves. but then seeing nayeonnie with bambam acting so carefree and- and- everything, i just wished i could grab her and kiss her in front of him, so that everyone knew you were all mine, and that i’m all yours.”
“one day we’ll be able to sana. i promise. and i won’t- i’m not going to act like i’m not already spoken for anymore. i am all yours and i always will be.”
sana sniffles again, you’re close enough you can lean over nayeon’s shoulder and kiss her forehead.
“and i’m sorry for making you guys worry. my phone really did die though if that’s any solace.” she chuckles wetly.
“i have a portable!” momo quickly breaks away, running to her bag and pulling it out, handing it to sana with a proud smile.
sana returns it, thanking her and kissing her cheek, plugging in her phone.
“you were wrong about one thing you know.” nayeon speaks up again, the hint of a smile on her face.
sana stiffens, ready to argue again but not wanting to.
“korea is so homophobic that we can actually hold hands in public without people thinking we’re anything. we could probably get away with kissing on a few rare occasions too and people would still think we’re just really good friends. especially if we’re all kissing each other, they’ll just think we’re… all very friendly with each other and kiss as a sign of affection or something.”
sana laughs out loud, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, “you’re right. i don’t necessarily have to hide how affectionate i am with you all.”
“and you’re very affectionate satang.”
sana rolls her eyes, hitting momo lightly. but then, her phone lights up, and she seems to read over something. she takes a few seconds, and then she’s blinking up, fresh tears in her eyes, launching forward into nayeon’s arms again.
nayeon grunts, catching her and squeezing back, “i take it you saw my message.”
“mmsorry- i lov- too.” her voice is muffled, but it’s obvious what she’s saying.
you don’t know what nayeon’s text said, and sana refuses to share with you afterwards, saying “nayeonnie’s words are for me only, tell her to do it again for you.” knowing nayeon hates expressing too much, which makes it all the more special to sana, but you’re just happy everything is okay between the four of you again.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
there was something going on and everyone knew it. the rumoured survival show for a new debut group was apparently set to start filming soon. select trainees were being pulled out of practice and given the news, although they were instructed not to say anything about it in order to not cause discouragement amongst other trainees and to minimise media leakage.
your girlfriends had all been called up and informed that they would be participating. now you were all waiting in anticipation for your own name to be called out.
after the monthly trainee showcase, JYP himself comes to make the announcement.
"i'm sure you've all heard the rumours going around about the new group we're planning to debut. it's going to be televised nationally in a reality-type fashion, so even if you don't make it to the final lineup, making it onto the show itself will be a big deal already, getting your name out there for potential future plans. the name of this show will be..." he pauses for effect, "sixteen!"
there's thundering applause, but you can barely hear it, anticipating, praying he would be announcing the lineup and that your name would be there.
"it's sixteen for the chosen sixteen exemplary trainees that the staff have recognised and recommended. they will be competing for seven spots in this new group. all sixteen trainees have now been notified of their involvement, but if you haven't received any news, don't worry! i always have all of you in my mind, like god, your time will come! so please cheer on and support your fellow trainees in their journeys!"
did you hear that right? everyone chosen had been notified already? so you weren't chosen? you weren't good enough? all that training... all those hours slaving away... all those tears, doubts, connections you've lost, all for what?
you look around, other people are cheering, some are crying, some are in disbelief like you.
your feet move before you can think, pushing to the front of the crowd, grabbing JYP.
"sir- why- why didn't i make it?" you're desperate, huffing, on the verge of breakdown.
he looks you up and down, a frown appearing on his usually smiley face, "what was your name again?"
your heart sinks. he didn't even know your name.
and then a look of realisation comes across him, "oh! you're that girl that's always with nayeon, momo, and sana! you should be happy for them! they're all fantastic trainees, they'll make wonderful idols."
you blink, dumbfounded, mouth agape.
"b-but- i- what was it? was i not a good enough singer? dancer? am i not pretty enough?" you're grasping for straws, anything to help you cling on to the possibility of your dream.
he tilts his head, crossing his arms, "ah- you... perhaps it's because you're always with those three. you just don't... stand out. nayeon has natural star power, her voice is one of the strongest in the company. momo is the best dancer we have, probably one of the best dancers in your generation. and sana has a personality people gravitate towards, she can keep group morale up and maintain public image. let me ask you.. what do you have? because aside from being friends with genuinely talented people, you just seem... average."
your hand falls, head drooping, the words hitting you hard.
"don't take this too personal though! perhaps with them out of the way, you can really find your own light to shine now! i believe in you!" he smiles again, then he's off with a flourish, being guided away by busy assistants.
you stare after him in shock, a flashback of sorts playing through your head, of the hardships you've been through to get to this point, of the tears and sweat you've dripped, it was too much. you needed out.
again, your feet move before you have control over them. mind moving at miles a minute, body on autopilot.
you're back in you're dorm room before you know it, and then your suitcase is being pulled off the top bunk, laid on the floor, and you're stumbling around throwing things in haphazardly. you don't even register when the door opens and three sets of footsteps tread in, too focused on thinking about how to get out, whether you could get to the airport in time, what you would say to your parents, your family, the people standing at the door in surprise, watching you clumsily shove things into your suitcase.
"...y/n? what are you doing?"
you barely look at them to reply, voice light and distracted, "packing."
"where are you going?"
"home."
"what?"
you head into the bathroom, starting to pick off the things you needed, you could leave some things, not everything was going to fit anyway and some things you could throw away.
"y/n wait- stop- just wait-"
you ignore them, clattering makeup items falling out of order into toiletry bags.
"y/n!" it's nayeon, her hands gripping your wrists firmly, not too firm to hurt, but enough to get you to stop. you finally look up at them, the break allows you to really feel your emotions, tears welling up immediately.
"oh sweetheart." nayeon tugs you into a hug, running a hand through your hair comfortingly. you feel sana and momo surround you, placing their arms around you as well. the dams break open then, and you're sobbing into their arms, all of your emotions finally catching up.
you stay there for a few minutes, just crying it out, the girls hushing and soothing you, letting you babble nonsense and cry into their shoulders.
when you finally calm down, you're exhausted, slumping down into nayeon. she supports you immediately, and tries to peek at you from your position in her neck, but you refuse to look at her, your eyes puffy and nose red.
"do you want to talk about it?"
you shake your head.
"do you... still want to leave?"
you take a breath, unsure. "i don't know." you whisper honestly, "what do i have to do here if i stay?"
"you have us." sana says quietly.
you chuckle wetly, "you don't get it. you guys all made it. i'm never going to. i don't- i'm happy for you all i am but- my dream-"
"shhh- it's okay. we... we do get it my love. we were all on this journey together weren't we? we've all had thoughts we wouldn't make it. even nayeon." momo tries to lighten the mood a little.
"but- you've all made it now. i don't even- why would you still want to be with me? i'm not good enough. you all got through. i'm the only one who didn't. doesn't that- don't you think i'm just pathetic? how could you still like me?"
"what?! what are you talking about y/n?! we don't like you for your talent we're not some talent recruiters. we like you because you're you, you're sweet and funny and caring. i know it's hard because we're in this industry so it feels like we're all competing, but you can't- it's not like that for us. don't ever doubt our love for you again."
you sob quietly, emotions still a wreck.
"please don't leave. this doesn't mean anything. there will be other opportunities. your dream is still possible. we might not be able to debut all together like we always wanted to but- but you still have a chance y/n. don't give up on it."
you sigh, too tired to argue, letting them bring you to bed, giving you one of the coveted middle spoon spots and cuddling into you until you fell into a restless sleep.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐
the next few weeks are absolutely hectic. for your girlfriends. you spent most of your time moping around, giving only about 50% in all your classes, motivation completely shot. it didn't help that the three of them started spending a lot more time together, as is expected when they have to prepare filming for the same thing. often you'd find yourself coming home after a long day of practice, and find them giggling and laughing about things you have no idea about, sharing inside jokes and talking about things that happened during their day that you'd be too tired or jealous to ask about.
they tried to include you of course, but you couldn't bring yourself to join in.
internally, you felt terrible. you knew you should be proud, happy, enthusiastic that all three of them were in the process of having their dreams come true. they had worked harder than all of you, they certainly deserved this opportunity, and they deserved you to be in their corner, supporting them and loving them like any other partner would do in this situation.
but you couldn't do it. jyp's words continue to ping around your head like an endless pinball machine. how you had always been in their shadow, how he never saw your worth because of them. a small, petty part of you blamed them. you hated that part of yourself, tried to squash it down as much as you could. but sometimes when you're laid in between them at night, their light breaths deep in sleep, those thoughts come back, and you can't help but be envious of their position, wondering why them and not you.
naturally, you started drifting from them, especially when filming actually started.
they were moved out to different dorms during the filming, split into major and minor dorms so that the film crew could get some reality content. they still texted you often though, asking how your day was every night, they still made every effort to make it work. it was you who really started moving away when they were no longer physically there to remind you they loved you.
you'd cry most nights. cuddling into sheets that smelled like them, watching episodes of sixteen, wishing you were there with them. you missed them.
and then momo gets eliminated.
it's brutal. you're confused when she shuffles into your dorm room, hood over her head, dark circles under her eyes, still red from crying.
you had no idea what happened, the episode hadn't aired yet.
but your heart breaks seeing your girlfriend. you immediately squeeze her in your arms, she bursts into tears again, sobbing, clinging to you, unable to make any words.
she tells you later when you're curled up in bed, what happened and how she got eliminated. when she drifts off to bed, you stare at her sleeping face, now devoid of tears, she looked peaceful. and those sick thoughts come back.
you felt grateful she was eliminated. she was brought down to your level again. she was just another trainee now. it was terrible, but you had her again, you weren't going to lose her. you should've felt angry, sad, disappointed her dreams were just ripped away from her after getting so close. but you felt relieved instead. what a terrible person you were.
soon enough, it's the finals.
momo's dyed her hair a light blonde colour and cut bangs. you went with her and helped her pick it out the day after she came home. she needed a fresh start, needed to forget the pain it felt to be back at square 1.
now you stood with her in the crowd with the other eliminated trainees. you nod at them politely, but you have your hand tightly gripped with momo's anxiously looking up at the stage waiting for your other two girlfriends to appear. you hadn't seen them in months and you'd missed them.
momo had talked your ear off about everything that happened while she was on the show. updated you on everything. it felt nice, to be included again, to feel needed, wanted.
and momo wasn't shy about how supportive she was of nayeon and sana. constantly bringing them up during the day, wondering how they were doing, if they'd eaten yet, if they were getting enough sleep, hoping they weren't thinking about her getting eliminated too much, praying they'll both make the final group.
you agreed with her each time, but she made you feel like a terrible girlfriend. she was what you were meant to be when she was still on the show. you try and make up for it in the last few weeks, making signs and pasting pictures of nayeon and sana on posters, making some for both you and momo to bring to the finals. she grins and kisses you on the head when she sees them, saying how sweet you were, how considerate you were. you smile guiltily, knowing that was far from the truth.
finally, the lineup starts to be announced.
you spot sana on the majors side already, nayeon still on the minors side. you have your fingers crossed, anxiously watching, momo's hand is white from how hard she's gripping yours, just as anxious.
nayeon's name is announced first.
momo bursts into tears, smiling, crying. she's so proud. you are too. she made it. you always knew she would. im nayeon was born to be a star.
and then, after the first seven are confirmed, sana's spot also secured, jyp makes the surprise announcement. it was going to be a nine member group. he announces tzuyu first, as the fan favourite.
and then, momo's name is read out.
momo is in shock at first, but trainees around you start clapping her on the back, congratulating her, and she starts sobbing again, covering her face as the camera pans to her. you quickly let go of her hand, not wanting to arouse any suspicions. she tries and looks at you but she's pushed up on stage before she knows it.
you can see nayeon and sana in the back, crying, in shock as well.
you can't even listen to momo's speech.
you feel like you're the only person in the entire venue again. it was quiet. you were alone. again.
your feet start to move on autopilot again. dissociating.
you manage to slip through the crowd, back turned, not realising the girls were searching the crowd, looking for you. wanting to share one of the most important parts of their lives with you. you were too selfish to let them.
you're at the dorms again, the suitcase is out, already half-packed from the last time you'd thought about doing this. this time though, they wouldn't be able to stop you. there'd be an afterparty, you were sure, they'll probably expect to see you there, they won't. then they'll come home, worried, and find all your things gone. the only remnant of your existence, a letter placed carefully on the bed.
dear nayeon, momo, sana,
firstly, congratulations. if anyone deserved those spots, it was you three. you've all worked so hard to get here, and i'm so proud of you all. your dreams are coming true. everything you've ever thought was out of reach, is about to become reality. you deserve all the fame, money, love, everything, and i know it's going to come your way, because i fell for you too.
i'm sorry. i'm not who you thought i was. i'm not a good person. and you deserve to be with good people. i'm leaving. for good this time. i'm sorry that i chose tonight to do this, when you three should be on top of the world, in a way, it's my own sort of revenge i guess. selfishly making you feel a little of what i've felt the last few months. it's why i can't be with you anymore. i'll only bring you down more. i loved you all. i didn't want to start hating you for being better than me, i wanted to keep the memories of our love pure and joyful. if i stayed, i'd grow to despise you for having what i've wanted for all my life. i didn't want that. i'm a terrible person, i could never ask for your forgiveness, only that you forget about me. forget me and continue living your lives under the spotlight, don't let me drag you back into the shadows. don't try and find me.
i'm sorry.
when they try and call you, you'll be on the flight home, your phone unable to receive any of their messages. you throw away your phone as soon as you arrive, buying a new one and starting your new life.
they barely have time to chase after you. you'd be grateful for that. they're thrown straight into schedules and planning for their debut.
eventually, you become a distant memory for them, as they do for you.
when you're older, you'll find a box you sealed away, filled with pictures of the four of you, young and in love. you'll sit there, thumbing through them, crying, wondering how you could possibly have let them go. you'll think back to your actions, appalled at the person you were, hating the industry for pitting you against them, and then realising it was your fault the entire time. you were young, stupid, greedy, you thought your dream mattered more to you than the girls did. now that you’re older, you realise you were so wrong. the girls were your dream.
you'll buy a ticket for their concert while they’re on tour, and you'll quietly cry to yourself again, seeing them in person, grown up, smiling, singing, doing what they loved in front of crowds of people who loved them as much as they loved you all those years ago. you'll think about making yourself known to them, but you'd hurt them enough. they seemed happy now, you had no place intruding on that anymore.
you were just another stranger now. you have been for years. and you had no one to blame but yourself.
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ravencantwrite · 24 days
Text
Small things that Logan does for you
Logan x Chronically ill! Reader
Warnings: nothing really, just a lil fluffy hehe
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Carries your bag for you
You are used to carrying your bag around with you after all it had almost everything you'd need— meds, pain relief patches, first aid material, or any other things that you'd need. But sometimes it does become a headache to take it everywhere. Holding on to your bag, or carrying your stuff around in a sling isn't really the most comfortable spot to be in really, considering the weight of the bag after everything you have to carry.
So when you try to pack less stuff than you usually do, Logan notices and immediately asks you if you don't need them anymore. "It's not that I don't need them, I'm just trying to take what I think I won't need today so that my bag won't be heavy", you tell him. He knows that your symptoms sometimes worsen suddenly and he is not willing to take the chance of going out with you and you not having everything that you need to help yourself.
"Pack everything that you need. Don't worry about how heavy it's going to be, I'll carry it for you", he tells you. And so he walks around with a little brown bag which obviously looks stuffed, hanging over his shoulders with a smile on his face, content at the fact that he was able to help you.
He packs your umbrella for you
Sometimes you tend to forget that your joints somehow predict the weather better than the weather report does. So when they start aching at first you blame it on overworking yourself, sleeping wrong, or anything else you can think of at the moment. The thought of the humidity in the air actually being the reason for your joint pain doesn't really occur to you.
It's only when you look out of the window from the class you were teaching at in the X Mansion that you see the grey clouds growing over the buildings, covering what was once a clear blue sky, that you realise the real cause of your joint pain. Your phone rings and it's Logan on the other end.
"Is it raining there yet? Because if it is, I packed your umbrella in your bag. Don't take too long and come back home after your shift."
He would always protect you in crowds
You can't always void crowds although you wish you could. People pushing against you, almost knocking you down accidentally wasn't really something that you look forward to. So when you're in a particularly very crowded elevator with Logan he makes sure to stand in a way that would let you have your space and would keep other people at a respectable distance so that when they move in or out of the elevator they don't accidentally hit you.
He would always try to get you to the side of the elevator so that you could hold onto the handrail and get that extra support that you would need while standing. And if that isn't enough, he would place his hand on your back, supporting you.
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slasher-male-wife · 2 years
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Slashers when you succumb to Stockholm syndrome
So @slasherhaven wrote for this idea before but I wanted to write for it too. I didn't really reference their head canons too much just to make sure that I'm not copying them but I did get the idea from them. These are in the form of little drabbles because I liked them better than head canons
Includes: The Grabber, Brahms Heelshire, Pyramid Head and Bo Sinclair
Warnings: Manipulation, kidnapped reader, Stockholm syndrome
The Grabber
When he opens the basement door he finds you asleep, like he planned to find you. He's been watching you sleep since you first came here a month ago. He carefully shuts the door and makes his way over to the floor by the bed. He watches your chest move up and down as you sleep. A few minutes later he sees your eyes open. But instead of screaming or moving away from him, you smile. Catching him off guard.
"You came to check on me?" You whisper to him. It takes a few moments before he nods, "I'm glad you care about me. I like that." Slowly he realizes what's happening with you, a smile spread across his masked face.
"Of course I care about you dove. I took you because I care about you. I'm glad you know that I care." He moves in closer to you and strokes your hair out of your face. You shut your eyes again and drift back to sleep. He knows you don't really love him, but that doesn't matter. You think you love him, and you won't be leaving anytime soon.
Brahms Heelshire
When Brahms wakes up to your voice he's scared at first. Quickly sitting up in his bed.
"Good morning Brahms," You say with a smile on your face, "I hope you're ready to start your day." He's caught off guard by the shift in your attitude. He had to drag you everywhere with him just a few days ago. But now, two months into knowing the real Brahms, you're actually following the schedule. He can't see any signs of you crying either. He thinks that you've finally accepted life here with him.
"I am Y/n. I'm glad to see you finally happy."
"Of course Brahms. Now let's get changed then we can eat." He nods getting out of bed while you pull out his new clothes. He could get very used to this.
Pyramid Head
After having to leave to deal with some intruders Pyramid Head returns to the building that he's kept you in for a few months now. When he walks in he notices you're still not fighting him like you were before. He unties your hands from a radiator that he keeps you attached to while he's gone and you don't try to run away from him.
He steps away from you to see if you'll try to run then but you don't.
"I'm not going to leave you," You say to him, "You're keeping me safe and alive and I don't want to ruin that. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his torso, "I promise I won't leave."
Pyramid head is very confused about this but he doesn't question you on it. He simply puts his arms lightly around you too and hugs you back. He doesn't care why you changed like this all of the sudden, he just cares that you're finally trusting him.
Bo Sinclair
It's been months since you first came to Ambrose. You gave up on fighting Bo awhile ago and now you're locked inside the house while he's gone. But when he came home today he found you cooking dinner for him in the kitchen.
"Darlin'?" He asks. You used to tell him not to call you that and you never responded to it but today you turn and look at him with a smile.
"Hi Bo. I thought I would make dinner for you since you're so busy today, I hope you don't mind."
"Not t'all Y/n," He has an idea of what's going on with you but he doesn't want to really say its Stockholm syndrome yet. But when he puts his hands on your hips while standing behind you, and you hum out approval, he knows you're in Stockholm syndrome, but he doesn't care. You're finally accepting your new life here, and that's all he's ever wanted.
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yeonzzzn · 7 months
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hehehe bec my love I have a very important request 😌
may I so kindly request a yandere yeonjun fic where he realizes that another member has a crush on his s/o, so he decides to show them just who you belong to and fucks you in the living room so when the said member walks in he sees. you can quite literally go as insane as you'd like I won't mind 🤭
(im sure you know who this is but much love and have fun *muwh*)
yandere yeonjunnnnnnn😮‍💨 big brain idea. yeonjun is so yandere coded. (I see you my love don’t worry *muwh*)
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that girl is mine: choi yeonjun
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pairing: yeonjun x afab!reader word count: 1.8k
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Yeonjun wasted no time bending you over the back of the couch, hissing out a warning to not move as he slid your shorts and panties down to your ankles. 
You grip the couch cushions, biting at your lips to keep quiet. You kept running through your head on what flipped a switch within your boyfriend to behave like this, usually, he’s so sweet and caring even during sex, but right now? His eyes filled with lust and his movements filled with desperation. 
And desperate Yeonjun was. 
He’s had his suspicions for a while now that Soobin had a small crush on you. The moment Yeonjun picked up on it he was pissed. Pissed like a dog who was fixing to get bone taken from him and ready to bite and bark at anyone who looked at it for too long. 
You were his bone. He was so possessive and obsessed with you that it actually drove him crazy. Wanting to fight anyone who looked at you or even in your general direction. 
Yeonjun did nothing about it at first when he caught on to Soobin’s little crush. Trying to not make a scene or act out in any way that could cause problems within the group. That’s the last thing Yeonjun wanted. 
But earlier today his suspicions were true and real. Yeonjun wasn’t crazy like he thought he may have been. 
He caught Soobin checking your ass out as you bent down to the floor to pick up the plastic cup you dropped from the cabinet. Yeonjun knew Soobin purposely didn’t help you grab it from the top shelf, watching as he took a step back to stare at your ass as you reached on your tiptoes for the cup. Then followed your ass to the tile floor as you bent down to pick it up. 
What made it worse was the laugh and teasing Soobin did after you picked up the cup and was now standing normally and facing him. 
The way Soobin fucked you with his eye burned a rage into Yeonjun that he didn’t know was possible. 
It burned so bad that Yeonjun waited until Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Huening Kai left the dorm to go shopping, waited for Soobin to sit in front of his computer to play Overwatch, and waited until those headphones slid onto his head. 
Soobin usually plays games with his door closed, but Yeonjun is sneaky. Tiptoeing carefully down the hall to crack open his bedroom door and quickly making his way to his bedroom, pulling you off his bed and into the living room. 
You were in a deep nap when Yeonjun woke you from your sleep, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as his hand slid down your panties and rubbed your heat until you were squirming and soaked. That’s when he pulled you from his bed and into the living room. 
You tried to protest as his lips connected to yours and his hands felt every inch of your body. “Junnie,” you said in between his aggressive kisses, “Soobin is still home.” 
And that’s how you ended up bent over the couch, Yeonjun hissing his warnings, “Don’t fucking move unless I tell you to. And keep his name out of your mouth.” 
You’ve seen your boyfriend jealous before, but never like this. Or at least to your knowledge. 
Yeonjun was a hard yandere, he knew it too. And always made it a point to keep it hidden from you, not wanting you to see his crazy side. But right now? He didn’t care. He had a point to make. 
But you kept quiet and unmoving, listening as Yeonjun’s jeans touched and scraped across the floor and away from him, his hands lifting your legs one by one to remove your panties and shorts from your ankles. 
His cold hands touched your ass ad he got down on his knees, spreading your cheeks apart, loving the lewd sounds your cunt made as the lips moved apart, seeing how dripping your cunt was. Yeonjun licked his lips before moving in, “Such a pretty pussy, all for me. All MINE.” 
You gasped at the feeling of his tongue flatting against your hole, gripping the couch cushions even tighter and holding back each moan you wanted to let out, not wanting Soobin to hear them. 
But that was Yeonjun’s plan. He wanted Soobin to hear. Want to get you moaning so loud Soobin would be able to hear it over his headset. 
He couldn’t tell you this though, you’d be against the whole plan and then pull him into his bedroom to fuck you. But no, oh no, he couldn’t have that. Yeonjun’s plan was just starting. 
He chuckled into your pussy, the vibrations sending chills up your entire body, “Junnieeee,” you softly moan. 
“Louder baby,” he said into your cunt, “Moan my name louder.” 
You couldn’t wrap your head around what had gotten into him, but let his name roll from your lips a bit louder than before. 
Yeonjun wasn’t satisfied though. He locked his tongue to your clit, sliding three fingers into your cunt. Knowing this would get you moaning louder. 
He flicked your clit with each stroke of his fingers moving in and out of you, your breathing became more uneven as you pant from the friction. Gasping out for the air to return back into your lungs that he was making escape. 
Even though Yeonjun wanted to prove who you belonged to, he couldn’t do it without making sure you were also being pleasured, your happiness came above everything else. It just so happened he was knocking two birds out with one stone. 
But you still weren’t moaning loud enough for him, your voice only going an octave higher each time he told you to go louder. 
Yeonjun released his lips from your cunt, standing back up to his feet and gripping your leg, and bending it over the top of the couch, making you completely spread out before him. 
“Fuck,” he hissed, rubbing the tip of his cock at your entrance, teasing you by sliding only the tip in and back out. Wanting to hear you beg for him. Wanting to hear your pretty voice say specific words as a way to reassure him. 
“Junnieee,” you pleaded, tilted your head back to look at him, “Please fuck me, wanna feel you.” 
Those were the exact words he needed to hear. What he wanted to hear. To hear his name. Not Soobin’s or any other males. But his and only his. 
You yelp out at the feeling of him pushing into you in such a fast motion, bottoming out as his tip kissed your cervix, “This pussy was made for me,” he groans, sliding all the way back out, then aggressively pushing back in, “For me and only me.” 
You bit your lips again, forcing on the grip your hands had on the couch to keep from moaning too loud. But your hard will was failing. You couldn’t keep that strength up, not when Yeonjun was pistoning his hips so hard and fast against your body, his hand on your thigh gripping as if his life depended on it. That the plush of your skin was the only way to save him. 
But Yeonjun was growing patient, he needed Soobin to hear you. Needed to hear how good he was fucking you. Needed Soobin to understand that you didn’t belong to him. 
Yeonjun gripped a handful of your hair, yanking and pulling you up against his chest, “Scream my name.” 
You didn’t get the chance to even part your lips before his hand was now clenching your jaw, his fingers prying open your mouth, “I said scream my name.”
So you did, moaning out his name in a chanting form in sync with his thrusts. 
Yeonjun’s eyes darted down the hallway, barely being able to see Soobin still at his desk. 
He gritted his teeth, mouth going to your ear, “Scream for Soobin.” 
Your eyes widened, heart nearly stopping, “W-what?” 
“You heard me,” he hisses, “Call for him. Now.” 
Yeonjun’s hand connected to your ass with a slap, you hissed and moaned out in pleasure from it, screaming out his name instead. 
“No, baby,” he whispers in your ear, biting the shell, “Call for Soobin, or else I won't let you cum.” 
You wanted to be bratty, but knew it would get you anywhere. Yeonjun thrust harder into you, holding his hips against your ass, his tip threatening to break the barrier of your cervix. 
So you called out for Soobin. Moaned out his name like your boyfriend asked you to. 
Yeonjun looked back at the door to Soobin’s room, watching as he lifted his hand to the left side of his headset, pushing the muff off his ear. Yeonjun smiled, he heard his name being called. 
“Again,” he breathes into your ear, “Do it again.” 
But this time, knowing Soobin would come rushing out, Yeonjun fucked into you like he would when no one else was around. Feeling the satisfaction once Soobin’s name left your lips for the final time. 
Yeonjun was getting lost in your pussy now, knowing his plan was coming to an end. 
He lifted his eyes from your back and to the hall, a smirk playing on his face seeing his leader standing there staring with wide eyes. 
“Finally,” Yeonjun chuckles, “About fucking time you showed up.” 
You lift your head to see Soobin standing at the entrance of the living room. Your heart feels like it actually stopped. 
“See this?” Yeonjun hissed in anger, pulling you up by your neck and close to his chest as he fucked into you even faster, “She’s mine. All mine. If I catch you looking at her like that again, it’s over for you.” 
Then it finally clicked in your head what Yeonjun was doing. You also knew Soobin had a small crush. But never addressed it to anyone. It was a small crush, it was harmless. Soobin respected you and your relationship with Yeonjun. He always had and always would no matter the feelings he felt towards you. 
Yeonjun knew deep down that it was harmless. That Soobin probably hated himself for even catching feelings for you when you didn’t belong to him. But that didn’t stop this from happening. Yeonjun needed to make it clear you were his. 
“That girl is mine,” Yeonjun hissed the final words, feeling relief that Soobin understood. 
He turned around quickly cursing under his breath, “I already knew she was yours you fucking dumbass.” Then the sound of his bedroom door slamming echoed throughout the whole dorm. 
Yeonjun bent you back over the top of the couch, his chest still connecting to your back as he pounded into you. But not with aggression like before. It was not filled with love and passion, he was finally back to the Yeonjun you knew of him. Or well, the sweet non yandere side of him. 
“You’re mine, understand? No one else can have you.”
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sirfrogsworth · 7 months
Text
We moved into this house back in the early 90s. We bought it from an old man named Fred Salmo. As we began living in the home every once in a while we'd discover some weird new thing wrong with it. Never anything catastrophic, but small frustrations that my dad had to deal with all the same.
Fred thought himself quite the handyman.
He was not.
He was a union sheet metal worker and I guess he thought that translated to home repair. But in actuality he would usually try to fix things with sheet metal even when that was not an appropriate solution.
And so whenever we'd find one of these issues we'd joke that we got "Salmo'd" again.
Almost all of the electrical outlets were wired backwards. "Looks like we got Salmo'd again."
A heating duct would have some terrible patchwork (with sheet metal). "He really Salmo'd this."
There was a bedroom ceiling fan that was not securely attached to said ceiling. "He's going to Salmo us to death in our sleep."
We kept finding these inept fixes for many years. One by one, my dad (who was an actual handyman) would properly fix them.
Eventually, we were pretty certain all of the Salmo'd shit had been addressed.
Until last night.
I noticed something looked off about the big light on our garage workshop on the back of the property.
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It was... lower... somehow.
I walked back to figure out what was wrong and discovered this.
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The wind was blowing pretty hard and the light fell off of its mount and was dangling by the electrical wiring.
Upon closer inspection I noticed something.
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It was mounted to a piece of thin metal decorative trim. I could see nothing structural it could have been attached to. No stud or beam. Just that trim.
That light was here before we moved in. Which means it has lasted over 30 years without falling down. And knowing how it was mounted, that is kind of incredible.
But it definitely feels strange getting Salmo'd again after all this time.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this yet. My brother took our only ladder a long time ago and never returned it. I'm not even sure how to power off the light without turning off all the power to that building. But I guess I should make that a priority today and go from there.
Replacing that light is one of the first things I wanted to do if I got some money to fix up the house. It has a horrible green tint and for as big as it is, it only lights up a small area. Hopefully that won't be a super costly repair.
Fucking Fred Salmo.
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somerandomdudelmao · 1 year
Note
Okay okay hear me out.
We all know that Donnie was devastated to discover what happened to his brothers. But in light of the most recent update, new meaning has been added to the panels of him watching their deaths' play out.
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Look at him here. At first glance, it simply seemed that Donnie was grieving the loss of his brothers. "We lost. They're all gone. My dumb dumb brothers sacrificed themselves. I'm alone."
BUT after today's update, we realize that NOOO he's not just regretting that they're gone, he's BLAMING HIMSELF. Not only is he sad, he feels GUILT.
Looking back, his face clearly says, "I could have stopped it. I could have saved them. I failed. This is my fault."
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"If I had been with you, the outcome might have been better." What hurts is that Don is RIGHT. He WAS the keystone of the resistance. Everything does indeed fall apart soon after he's gone (hence the episode name). It's a cruel, ironic twist on Survivor's Guilt-- because in that timeline he didn't survive. He was gone. And he blames himself for being gone.
We often talk about Future Leo's guilt over the apocalypse, but Future Donnie's guilt is not to be taken lightly. It actually makes a LOT of sense for him to blame himself for his family's deaths. We know that all dear Donton has ever wanted is validation for his tech, and his tech is his way of expressing to his family that he loves them. Ergo, all Donnie wants is to make tech to protect his family to Show Them That He Loves Them.
This is probably why he opened up to Raph, all but admitting his guilt over the less-than-perfect security system: it was like saying he and his love failed to protect them for long.
The character analysis deepens~
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Here (and throughout all of The Little Things, really) we see him taking steps to make sure his brothers (and the resistance) will be taken care of. Delegating everything, even The Little Things (ah HA) all to ensure that all he does for them (to prove his love, of course) continues to happen.
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Even here, when Donnie has been hanging onto life for so long that the Kraang are shocked he's still alive, Donnie wants to help. He could not "sit here and listen to them get killed," because he is Donatello, and he loves his family. Cass, you said it yourself: Violence is his love language. Rushing into battle, decimating the Kraang, saving his family. Because he may be dying, he may be clinging to life by a few threads, but he is Hamato Donatello and he loves his family.
But in the end, that's what he does. In the end, he DOES sit there and watch them get killed. Watches with his very own tech. One. By. One. They. Die. And deep down, Donnie thinks that if he would have been there, he could have found a way to make a generator NOT from Raph's heart. That he could have supported Mikey enough to keep him from disintegrating. That he could have protected Leo in those final, self sacrificial moments.
Donatello blames himself for not being there for his brothers. He blames himself for his tech not being flawless enough. He blames himself for dying on them.
Which is why he won't rest until they're ALL back home.
He is Mr. "I Can Fix This", so of COURSE he's going to fix this.
And afterwards, when his family is SAFE and HOME and TOGETHER he's going to apologize for "letting them die" and he's FINALLY going to get some SENSE knocked into his OWN dumb dumb brain (probably by Dr. Delicate Touch). His brothers love him because he's DONNIE. I cannot WAIT for the moment when they make him realize that they didn't miss his tech, they missed HIM. He's gonna realize just how utterly loved he is and I'm so excited for you, Cass, to show us that moment.
(I apologize; this got out of hand quickly, but the analysis has been bouncing around my head all day and I NEEDED to share it)
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OH THIS IS ONE GREAT ANALYSIS RIGHT HERE
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maeby-cursed · 8 months
Text
➴ OH, STUPID CUPID ! ♡
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✧ a/n: happy valentine's, dear angels ! ♡
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Toji Fushiguro doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day.
Why would he, after all? It’s merely a capitalist ploy to keep the consumerism engines turning. You can disguise greed in glittery pink polish and white chocolate bonbons but at its core, it won't change its nature.
And so, he spends St. Valentine’s like he would any other day; gets up at dawn, works until his hands are peeled and his back aches and gets home to eat whatever he has left over. 
It’s a good routine, the most stable one he’s found for himself in years. 
He can't recall a time where the fourteenth of February meant anything at all. 
(Except for that one year that it had.)
But he won't think of withered flowers or laughing kisses or other sweets that have since rotten in his memory. A woman, a child, an apartment downtown.
That is all long gone now. The apartment downtown had gotten expensive, and the child had grown older. The woman had gone long ago and there were no more flowers or kisses or laughter.
It’s all capitalism, it’s all vapid and stupid and childish.
So, Toji Fushiguro doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. That is until you come along, knocking on his workshop’s door.
You’re obviously lost, mumbling an inquiry about how much you could get for selling a motorbike you keep referring to as "an old piece of garbage".
He can't help but snicker at your wording, a little chuckle that grows into a full chest laugh when he sees what you’ve dragged to his shop. It’s painfully obvious that this thing isn’t yours.
You keep holding the handlebars with careful hands, sparing few disgusted glances to the vehicle, as if its mere existence wounded you.
He asks how long you’ve had it, and where you got it, and how much you’d like to get. 
You answer back curtly: two years, your ex, nothing as long as you get rid of it.
You seem annoyed just by having to be there and for some unexplainable reason this amuses him to no end. Maybe being surrounded by car engines in a small workshop with no windows is starting to affect him.
“I’ll take it.”
You raise your gaze from the dusty headlight, shocked by his offer.
“You will?”
“Sure thing. You don’t want it, I could use some new parts, I’ll just scrap it.”
You let out a sigh, relieved, and all the tension dissipates from your shoulders.
“Oh, that… well, that would be great! Thank you.”
Your smile makes him stop in his tracks. Pretty and warm and familiar – something dangerous. His head travels back.
After a second that lasts forever, he acknowledges what you've said, grunting as his only response and getting back to the store with you in tow.
“Could I leave it with you now or…?"
“Bring it back next week, I don’t really have a place to put it right now, y’know?”
You look around the place. It’s full of buckets of paint and car parts, no decor but stacks upon stacks of metallic shelves full of objects you can’t recognize. You chuckle awkwardly, seemingly in a better mood after the compromise you've arranged.
“Right, uhm… Actually, I'm not here next week, could I come back tomorrow?”
Toji turns back to stare at you, and for the first time, really sees you. You look young, probably in your mid-twenties, of bright eyes and shiny hair, and that pretty smile that keeps fluttering over your lips. 
He hasn’t done this in a long time… But maybe…
“I close at 10pm today, why don’t you come back then?” he says, closing his fists to stop them from sweating.
Your wondering eyes freeze on him then, and your lips part slightly. He just can't stop staring.  
“But it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t you have any plans?” you ask, shyly.
“I don’t believe in that crap.”
Shit. That wasn’t supposed to come out like that.
“Oh,” you whisper. You're still grinning up at him, but your expression has lost its warmth, instead replaced by a polite awkwardness and doubtful gaze, and now he's kicking himself in his head.
“Sorry, did that bother you?” he asks, hiding his guilt with a smirk.
“No, not at all!" You laugh, playing with your hands. "I… just, I don’t mind it, I guess.
"I know it's not even a real holiday and that it's merely a product of capitalism, and that it’s all about sales and consumerism and all of that, but… I find it nice, you know? Having a day to be with the people you love…" You look around his shop once, before giving him a shy stare. "It’s sappy, I know.” You end with a shrug, your ears flushed.
Toji doesn’t say anything for a minute, he just breathes and takes it in. 
Oh, he’s grown bitter, hasn’t he? Old and sour. 
His son is out there right now buying flowers with his friends, his coworker is on a date at a fancy place, his one and only friend is buying chocolates for his wife… And he’s here at 5pm, with his hands dirty and his neck sweaty and the prettiest woman he’s seen in a long time in front of him, with no plans for tonight and a lovely smile hidden by a familiar sort of nervousness.
What is wrong with him? Is he truly that fucking stubborn? Can't he deal with a bit of pink?
He’ll admit that he's never minded the chocolates and the roses – even if they aren’t his favorite – and that he always laughs at the cherubs and the cheesy postcards. Of course, he won't talk about how he still hums old 50s songs while he works or how he indulges in a bit of dessert when February rolls around, though.
But he knows. He's always known.
So, maybe it’s not all about the money. Maybe it’s more about being accompanied for once since he was twenty three and alone. Maybe it’s more about taking a shot at getting something good back.
Maybe it's not all capitalism, not all vapid and stupid and childish.
“Yeah… I guess it’s not all that bad.”
“I do like it… sometimes,” you finish, as if completing his train of thought. This hasn't happened to him in a long time. "I’ll be back tonight then…?”
He recovers quickly, smirking briefly before turning to clean his hands with a rag.
“Sure, at 10pm," he says, over his shoulder.
You laugh, cheerful once more, and begin walking to the door.
“It’s a date!”
And, God, he really hopes it can be, if only because it’s Valentine’s Day.
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© 2024, MAEBY-CURSED — do not copy/repost/edit.
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rosenclaws · 18 days
Note
Hi again lol 👋
Here's the leopold idea I had:
The reader is a shy baker who lives next door to Stuart. Her and Stuart are friends, and sometimes she'll bring meals/baked goods over to make sure he's eating (she's soft like that). She also has a cat, Appa, who likes to visit Stuart. When Stuart takes Leo home, they get introduced to each other due to her cat coming over and finding Leo instead.
Leo and the reader build a friendship, and she introduces him to all the different cuisines/baked goods the 21st century has to offer. Over time, they start to develop feelings for each other but won't say anything to the other because they don't think the other likes them in that way. Stuart, our awkward wing man, informs Leo that the reader definitely likes them due to how much time they spent with them and may have overheard a conversation that the reader has with a friend about him.
They admit their feelings in a fluffy way and throw in a kiss and maybe like a timeskip into the future where they're married, and they're telling their kids how they met and all that fluffy goodness.
I'll leave the ending up to you. I was running out of creative juice on how to end it, lol.
Made With Love || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader
warnings: fem!reader, fluff, a little messing with the Kate & Leopold canon, me making shit up about Leopolds past, leopold is a girl dad
a/n: I love this request and it actually ended up being longer than I thought haha. I have also crafted this total backstory to Leopold's childhood and parents in my head so now that's gonna be a running theme in my leo fics i think. Anyways I hope you like it!! Also i made some little divider in canva in like 3 seconds im sorry its not very original sdfalkj
wc: 2.9k
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The sun shines through your balcony windows as another day begins, well for you the day had began at 4am. Preparing dough for the large order of baked goods you had to deliver today. It's a very small business, one that you run from your apartment but you love it.
"Good morning Appa, finally decided to wake up huh?" You wipe your hands on your apron and scratch his head softly. He stretches happily before heading towards the window. Appa is a very spoiled cat so you have no worries of him running off. He often travels to your neighbors, seeing if they're free to give him even more attention.
"Okay pretty simple order today." You check your list over before giving yourself a little time to rest.
A loud yowl makes you jump as you hurry towards the window. That's definitely Appa and you've never heard him make a sound like that. Peeking out the window you see him standing outside of Stuarts window, back arched and ears flat as he hisses.
"Appa what has gotten into you!" You climb over and pick him up.
"Sorry Stuart I have no..." When you look into the window it's not Stuart you see. A strange man is on the couch looking disheveled and confused and wearing really strange clothing.
"You're not Stuart." You hold your cat closer, debating if you should run and call the cops or not.
"I'm afraid not, he'll be back in just a moment." You slowly inch back towards your apartment.
"Um, okay. Who are you? Exactly?"
"Leopold. Do you know the man that lives here?" He gets up and walks towards you making you take a step back. Appa jumps out of your arms and scampers back to your apartment. The door opens and you spot Stuart and Bart.
"Stuart! What the hell did you do!?" You shout. Leopold stops in his tracks when he notices the nervousness in your voice.
"Dammit!" Stuart hurries over to the window.
"Now is not a good time, I'll explain later." He abruptly slams the window in your face.
You slam your fist against the window but the blinds go down, locking you out. You knew Stuart has had some, interesting ideas before. He's shown you but you never believed they could actually do anything. Just a work of science fiction.
Climbing back into your apartment you check on your baked goods. Taking a few sheets of cookies out of the oven you decide to grab a few and put them on a plate. Stuart could never resist your homemade chocolate chip cookies.
"Stuart! Let me in! I have cookies." You hear shuffling behind the door before it swings open.
"Not fair." He opens the door to let you in and you smile happily.
"So, who is he?" Stuart explains as much as he can. That he traveled back in time to 1876 and accidently brought back his great great great grandfather Leopold and now he has to get him back or else he'll disappear.
"You're kidding right? This is some elaborate prank?" Stuart shakes his head as he takes a bit of a cookie.
"I swear on my life." Your eyes drift to Leopold who was currently looking through some magazine.
A look of utter bewilderment on his face. He throws the magazine down and lets his head fall into his hands. To him this must be a nightmare. Not that you fully believed Stuart but you were willing to entertain the idea. You take the plate of cookies and place them in front of him.
"You want one?" He lifts his head to see you standing there. You actually start to feel bad. He looked stressed, upset, and genuinely lost.
"What is this?" He reaches out and turns it around in his hands.
"Have you never seen a chocolate chip cookie?" You ask with a laugh, though it quickly dies down as you realize he hasn't.
"Try it, it's good." He hesitates but takes a bite.
"This is marvelous. Did you make these?" He stands up abruptly, startling you just a bit.
"Yeah, have you really never had this before?' You ask in disbelief. Leopold finishes the cookie quickly, savoring every bite as the flavor takes over his taste buds.
"Never, I've had shortbread before but never something this rich and delicious." He compliments. You're slightly taken back, yes people like your baked goods but they aren't usually this forward about it. Or this charming
"Oh it's nothing, I make these all the time."
"Nonsense, the work of a baker is like art. Crafting such succulent breads and goods with your own hands is no easy task." The way he speaks is enchanting, maybe it's the accent but you've never met a man so well spoken before. Maybe he really was from the past.
"I can show you how I make them, if you want." You offer.
"It would be my honor."
“Hey wait a second,” Stuart interrupts.
“You said the next chance to get him home is Monday right? Well thats a week away so we have time. Bye Stuart!” You grab Leopold’s wrist and take him back to your apartment. He’s met with the smell of fresh bread as he steps foot into your place. It’s comforting, reminds him of his childhood.
“I have a couple orders that are getting picked up today, so can you help me roll out some dough?” You don’t hesitate to put him to work as you prepare the pie filling for your order. Leopold takes off his coat and rolls up his sleeves. You hand him five separate balls of dough for the five pies.
“You mentioned orders, do you run a bakery?” He questions as he watches you weigh ingredients.
“Not quite, I wouldn’t really call this a bakery. More of a small business.”
“A businesswoman?” You raise an eyebrow and stop mixing.
“What? Hard to believe?” You tease.
“Not at all. I find it very fitting.” You hum in response, finishing up the filling for the order. You turn on some music to fill the air and time goes by quickly. Leopold is a great help, the pies getting into the oven ahead of schedule.
"Now we wait." You say with a sigh as you stretch your arms above your head.
Appa jumps onto the counter and rubs his head against your side. He stares at Leopold for a moment before cautiously sniffing his hand. Leopold reaches and pets Appa's head, scratching his chin and smiling when Appa starts to purr happily.
"So, tell me Leopold, how did you get here from the past?" He sighs and leans against the counter.
"I haven't the faintest idea. One moment I'm about to announce my engagement and the next I'm falling off a bridge and waking up here." He looks around, staring out the window to look at what is supposedly New York.
"Engagement?" You say shocked, I mean he's a good looking guy so it's not too shocking but that's quite the information to dump. His face shifts to a look of annoyance.
"My uncle had decided that it was time to get married. We were running out of money and marrying a wealthy American was..."
"A means to an end?" You finish for him.
He nods, he smiles but there's sadness in his eyes. You couldn't imagine what it must be like for him. Having to marry for money instead of real love. Without think you start to play with your necklace.
"That's a beautiful necklace. May I?" He reaches out but waits for your okay. You nod silently and he gently holds the stone in his hands.
"It was my grandmothers, real diamond so she claimed." You joke, real diamond or not it belonged to her and you loved it.
"My mother had a ring like this. A beautiful ruby at the center." He gently places it back down against your skin. You suddenly become incredibly aware of how close he is. Your timer rings out through the apartment making you take a step back. You clear your throat and move to check on your pies.
"Tell me more, about your life before you came here." You ask, wanting to know everything about this man. He's like a magnet that you can't help but move towards.
"It's a long story." He says gently. You glance at the clock and shrug your shoulders.
"We've got time."
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The week passes by too fast. Way too fast. Leopold was over almost every day. Helping you with your orders and telling you wonderful stories.
He was a natural in the kitchen with you. For that he gave credit to his mother. His mother wasn't born royal, working in an orchard for her family. She was a wonderful cook according to Leopold. His father was the one with royal blood, like Leopold he was meant to marry for power, for status but he didn't. He fell in love with Leopold's mother, love at first sight. Soulmates that were destined to be together. Their love story is what made love so hard for Leopold. Love is a leap, that's what he said. Yet there has been no one worth jumping for.
You understood, there hasn't been anyone like that for you either. Well, not until Leopold showed up. You used to scoff at the idea of love. It feels impossible to find love these days, no matter what you tried there never was this spark. So you stopped caring for now, focusing on your business instead.
Then Leopold fell into your life and ruined it all. You want to tell him, to kiss him, to save him from a loveless marriage but the deadline looms over you like a cloud and the fact that he's told you he's never been in love suppress any real chance of you saying something. So you decide to enjoy your time with him now, hoping its enough to last you a life time.
Sunday night comes too quickly. He has to leave tomorrow. Leopold stares out at the city he's gotten to know. The lights are on in your apartment but he can't bring himself to go over. He has to say goodbye but he doesn't know how. He hears the window open behind him.
"She's home. I can hear her through the walls." Stuart nudges Leopold's shoulder. He glances over but stays put.
"I...If go now, I don't think I would leave. I love her." He looks down at his hands.
"She loves you too. I know it. I've never seen her light up around someone like she does with you." Stuart rests a hand on his shoulder in an attempt at comfort him.
"I'm sorry, I wish things were different." The light in your apartment goes out and he feels his heart clench.
It's too late. He sighs and heads back inside, laying on Stuarts couch as he stares at the celling. At least he's gotten the chance to know what love is.
Even if it's a fleeting moment, he knows.
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You knock on the door, a plate of fresh cookies in your hand. You want Leopold to have them one last time. You wait and wait but no one comes.
A pit forms in your stomach as you leave the cookies at the doorstep. You hurry through your apartment to the window. Your heart stops as you see a letter with your name on it sitting on your window sill.
Hello my love,
I apologize for not seeing you in person before I have to leave. The truth is I am a coward. I knew that if I had said goodbye, if I had seen your face that I would not have had the strength to leave. Though I return to my time, I must tell you that my heart is yours. It will always be yours. I love you.
Yours truly,
Leopold.
You wipe the tears that are forming in your eyes with the back of your hand. He can't be gone. He can't just leave like that. You love him. You love him so much. You fold the letter and tuck it in your back pocket.
"Appa!" You grab your cat and run out the door.
This is stupid, this is so stupid. You race down the street towards the Brooklyn bridge as fast as your legs could carry you. Appa clings to your shoulder as you weave through the people.
"Stuart!" You shout as you spot him across the street. He looks at you confused as you run through traffic, dodging cars to get to him.
"Is he gone? Is it too late?" You ask desperately.
"I...what?" Stuart asks in disbelief.
"Is it too late to go back?" Are you really going to do this? Go back in time to be with him? This is crazy, absolutely crazy. But Leopold told you that love was a leap and for once you want to jump.
"Are you sure about this?" Stuart asks as you both race towards the bridge.
"Yes, for once in my life I am sure." You stop on the edge of the bridge.
"I just have to jump right?" You hold Appa tightly as you peer over the side.
"Don't look down, it's going to be okay." You take one last look back.
"Thank you Stuart, Thank you." You give him a hug before take a deep breath and jumping off the side.
You feel the wind rushing past your face, you're falling and falling. Until you're not. Everything seems to stop. As you open your eyes you see cobblestone streets and people dressed in old clothing.
"We made it!" You look around for any sign of where to find Leopold.
Racing down the streets towards his home, he told you about it once. Pointed it out, he was shocked it was still there. You sneak your way past some people dressed in fancy clothes. Head's turning your direction as you stick out amongst the crowd. Your breath stops as you see him steps above the crowd.
"Sorry, excuse me." You push past a crowd of people to get his attention.
"Leopold!" His eyes dart around the room, searching for your voice. Perhaps it's a trick of the mind.
"Leo!" You push to the front, not caring that everyone is staring at you.
You're here, you found him. A look of pure shock on his face as he steps down. For a moment he doesn't think you're real. How could you be? You set Appa down and walk towards him.
"How could you leave me without saying goodbye?" You take the letter and shove it against his chest. He stands there, still stunned by your presence.
"I love you Leopold, I love you." He leans in and kisses you passionately.
One hand cupping your head and the other resting at your waist as he pulls you as close as he can get you. Your arms wrap around his neck, his nose brushes against your cheek.
"I love you." He says breathlessly. Without hesitating he gets down on one knee, taking his mothers ring from his pocket.
"Will you marry me?" You don't wait a second before saying yes. He slips the ring on and pulls you into another kiss. Nothing else mattered as you held Leopold in your arms.
You were home.
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"Tell it again!" Your oldest daughter pleads. She puts on her best puppy dog eyes. You laugh and brush the hair out of her face.
"Yes please!" The younger one joins in the begging.
"You've already heard it a million times." You say but they don't care.
"But it's such a good story. You're like a princess!"
"Actually, she's a duchess." Leopold says as he walks through the door. Your girls jump from your lap straight into Leopold's arms.
"How are my darling girls today?" They start to babble on about their day and you watch happily. Appa sits on the window sill, lazily sleeping in the sun.
"Alright go wash up for dinner." He gently sets them down and watches as they go running. You stand up and kiss him gently.
"How was the bakery today?" You ask as Leopold wraps you in a warm hug. He smells like bread.
"Busy as usual." When you got married it's safe to say his uncle was not amused.
So the two of you left and much to Leopold's dismay you sold your necklace. He tried to get you to keep it but you were set on it. With the money you opened up a small bakery. You tried not to mess too much with the past but somethings slipped through as your bakery became the biggest hit in New York. Now you live a nice life. Two kids and a loving husband. What more could you ask for?
"The girls say we're soulmates," You hum happily. Leopold kisses you again, and again, and once more for good measure.
"We are my love,"
"Through space and time." You add.
Looking back maybe it was crazy that you left everything behind so quickly. To leave everything you knew to be with him. But you loved him. It felt like there was this string pulling the two of you closer and closer, through all of time. You built a life with him. There's no regrets, no worries. Just Leopold.
He was yours and nothing else mattered.
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pressureplus · 2 months
Note
Hihii! Hope your all doing well
Could you please do human Sebastian Headcannons where it’s his or our birthday and writhed we get him something or we get him something?? My birthday was yesterday n I think this’ll be cute <3
Remember to take breaks <3
-💫
Hi! We're doing good, thank you for asking ❤️ (We get our breaks by taking turns making stuff, so don't worry too much about that)
It's a day late, but happy birthday, Anon! I hope it was a good one!
Birthday Wishes
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Pairings: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader
Au: Classic
Warnings: N/A
◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟
Everything has to be perfect. As perfect as it can possibly be from a place like this.
He's made sure to send Y/N out on a supply run he's hoping is going to take quite a while, needing some extra time to prepare for something he's making out to be a big event.
As much as he hates sending his dumb little diver anywhere without either going with them or watching them, he's taken a great deal of caution in getting them supplied and assuring the halls were not active today... Sebastian has well enough ferryman tokens in stock to bribe and barter with should anything happen, worse case scenario.
Shaking his head, he attempts to get rid of those paranoid tendencies so he can finish hanging up the streamers. The bastard fish had been awfully mean to Y/N this morning trying to throw them off so they wouldn't catch any hints for the surprises he's planned. The experiment still is not the best with putting that guard down that's been built up so he can live down here, but he's been trying. Y/N has made him really want to try.
Part of him is still nervous about this, scared that once they get this gift and use it that they'll figure out that they don't want him. He's scared that they'll settle on the thought that they only wanted his company out of desperation, lingering on the idea a bit too long and decide to go find someone else. The anxiety has left his hands shaking a good portion of the morning.
But he has to trust them. They've earned that a few hundred times over for being patient with him for so long.
Sebastian has been preparing for this day for years, and in truth this was for himself at first. This was supposed to be for him. He worked for it, scavenged for it, fought, killed, and lived for it. He's been running this shop for so long it's all he knows anymore and it was always for this.
It wasn't until Y/N came along it stopped being for him and started being for the both of them.
There's even a cake, and though he's still a bit concerned they're not going to like his less than stellar icing designs, he knows it's your favorite flavor so he's sure you won't hate it.
When he decides he's made it up nice enough and that he's brave enough to greet you, he makes his way back to his shop and sits waiting, trying not to mull over his choices, hoping that it will go well.
It doesn't take long, maybe another half hour at most, for his favorite person to stroll back in.
"Sebby! I'm home!" Y/N greets him first, going to set the small crate of goods down near the doorway.
"Took you long enough. Hard run?" He teases, reaching one of those big clawed hands down to ruffle their hair. Smile a little wider and eyes a little brighter, he can't deny he's excited.
"No! It was actually super easy! I didn't find even an ounce of data, though..." Seeming disappointed, they almost go to sulk before he catches them.
"No, no, I have made well enough for the week." He reaches under the desk and pulls out a messily wrapped box.
"Plus, it's your birthday, isn't it?" Sebastian grins.
It takes Y/N a long beat of silence to perk up, eyes sparkling under the outdated LEDs.
"It is! You remembered my birthday?" They snatch the present up and instinctually shake it.
"Ah, don't get too happy about it, I saw it on the calendar." The fishy man tries to play it off for longer, really dragging it out.
"I'd say happy birthday, but could it really be happy in the Blacksite?" He pokes, the snide jab not seeming to bring Y/N down at all.
"It is with you!" They give him a beaming grin and start to open their box.
Nearly choking, Sebastian feels his face heat up a bit and his heart stops in his chest. How is he not supposed to treasure his Y/N? How could anyone think they were anything less than amazing?
"Well, it is a special day nonetheless. You only get this old once." He adjusts his comment to match their mood, still reminding himself to soften up for them.
He's decorated it in their favorite colors, colorful streamers matching all the little things that's going to make it feel like a home.
"You got me a plushy?! Where'd you find one!?" Y/N tugs the stuffed toy out of the box and squeezes it, very clearly resembling their favorite mythical creature.
"Would you believe it was luck?" He chuckles, lying to them point blank. He'd made it by hand, but doesn't want the tears or teasing from you that would come with admitting that.
"Thank you so much, Sebastian! You're the best!" Y/N only continues to shine in the dimly lit shop.
"I've got something else for you. It's in the back." He places a hand on their waist to usher the former prisoner along towards the grand finale.
"Is it really gonna beat the plushie?" They joke and he snickers.
"I'd certainly hope so, it's your party." He uses another of his massive hands to cover your eyes and lead you out past the room, guiding your step up on a completely unfamiliar stair.
"Woah, is this a new room?" Y/N looks confused.
"Yep. It's your room now. We're still going to be sharing, but it's brand new." He hesitates for another few seconds.
Closing his own eyes, he tries to stay calm. Ripping that metaphorical bandaid off, his hands come away from them to let Y/N look around.
And Y/N finds themself in a submarine.
"You... Your deal went through. . ." They look around at the painstaking way he's furnished and decorated it.
"Yep. I got us a way out." He closes the door behind him and Y/N whips around to look at him.
"We're leaving!? WE'RE LEAVING TODAY?!" They look shaken, but more excited than he thinks he's ever seen before in his life.
The fear melts away watching the way they go and cheer, tossing their new plush onto the bed at the back of the vessel and laughing, already chattering about showing him the places they wanna go. If nothing he does ever goes right again his whole life, he's done good doing this.
Sebastian pulls another mischievous look and holds out the keys, barely catching their severely divided attention with the shiny new keyring.
"Happy Birthday, Y/N."
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altheneum-library · 2 months
Text
If only you'd come to my warm heart
╭──╯ . . . . .⍣ ೋ
INCLUDES: One sided romantic Sebastian Solace/Reader
CONTAINS: Reader death, description of blood and gore, angst
NOW PLAYING: Jo Deok Bae - If You Come Into My Heart
INSPIRED BY: Vivinos's "Beloved"
SUMMARY: a oneshot in which Sebastian falls for you and tries hard to suppress it for he had loved another before and possibly lost them, he is afraid, and thus does his best to act like he doesn't favor you over others. Alas, he had a nightmare about your death in which causes for him to actually fall for you more much to his agony. he misses you.
WRITER'S NOTE: this post is pretty long, sorry about that! it may also be a bit ooc? I did my best to make him as close to canon as possible personality wise but I had so much fun! so please enjoy reading this!
⍣ ೋ. . . . . ╰──╮
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🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
You were such a stubborn yet amusing expendable to both see and watch, how did he end up this way? how did he end up just...falling for YOU of all people? of everyone he could have fallen for he fell for you. you.
Sebastian was this close to asking any sort of god out there why he had to be hit with that stupid cupid's arrow and you just had to be there, oh how convenient.
Sebastian loved someone else before, long ago of course, but it was still love either way. He lost that person by now anyways so why now of all times? why now when he's lost his humanity? his basic mentality to be vulnerable around someone who was literally weaker than he was due to his mutations?
everything down here sucked and here you are. making it less... sorta sh💩tty for him somehow? I mean, you sure can be annoying and you can be a little childish but isn't anyone as petty as a child was at some point? oh how Sebastian tried so hard to try to make sense of you, make sense of your chaotic antics, just make sense of why he liked you in any way possible.
Was it because you like to banter with him, giving some sass back which surprises yet gets a chuckle out of him? or was it that you actually stood up for him, lightly scolding your friends that flashing his poor eyes with the flash beacon was an ass thing to do to Sebastian considering his DNA or whichever else?
No. it couldn't be!
could it be your eyes? those watercoloured eyes that reminded him of so many things he's seen back home on the surface? whether it be the waters of the ocean, the soils of the earth, or the green of the trees? the grey of those clouds?
No. it must be your hair! maybe your personality?
GAH! why was he thinking so hard about this!? why must an expendable like you be such a puzzle in his mind to solve!?
he refuses such a thing to happen, falling in love with you, yet he has so already.
'I would rather run.' he would think to himself as he awaited in his make shift shop, his fins twitching here and there. he can be rather patient for a seemingly impatient man...
his mind kept going up to you, your smile haunts him. he scowled at himself for thinking of you. 'I would rather fly if I could.' he thought.
damn you, why must you be adorable and make him laugh!? 'If I let them come into my heart I-...' his train of thoughts trail off to a dead end. what exactly was he gonna do if he did succumb to this thing called love? with you?
....it's gonna be a slow day at the shop today, not that surprising, but annoying to Sebastian either way and he had absolutely nothing to do but wait and stare into whatever he bores his eyes into.
hm, perhaps taking a nap won't hurt besides he's been tired as of late. so he coiled himself over and rested his head underneath his tail and just simply turned off the lure's light.
he succumbs to sleep
.
.
.
his nightmare was but mere flashed visions, memorialized pictures he sees.
there you were, your body mangled and a mess.
Sebastian was used to this, he has seen multiple dead bodies; parts of them bitten off, some with their head popped and their brain just splattered the walls, and a few missing their insides here and there.
but you? you were beyond unrecognizable.
where was your face? where is your left arm? who or which took bits of your skin off because he for sure knows none of the creatures can do that, not even wall dwellers-
so why
why were you like this?
what happened, did he do this? did urbanshade do this?
and dear god please tell him why he can feel his eyes stinging. someone tell him why his chest is aching and why he wants to scream.
please, someone please tell him.
G̵̨̢̦̬͉̥̤͕͎̐͗͆̍́̿̀̈́̽͌̿̒͛͝Ò̵̞̦̟̼̜D̷̛̦͈̗͎̭̗͔̣͈̣̻̣̻͙̈́̇̂͛͂̎̓͑́̈́̈́̌̌͜͠͝ ̶̧̡̝̻̺̬̦̲̣̦̘̬̪̃̈͘͜͝͝ͅͅP̵̬͕̬̥͖̳͖̼̰͔̖̥̉ͅL̵̺̭͓͍̤͉͛́̔̏E̸̢̧̪̻̟͙͍̣͗̈́̐̈́̑̋̄̽̒̿͛̂͌̾̌̚A̵̧͙͖̻̲̳͔̱̐̔̈̓̊͛͘S̶̢̬̤̱̹͚̼̼̯̘͖͍̞̩͇̮̈́͂̐̈́̀̓̈͝Ę̶̨̩̣͔̘͔̼̹͖̫̝̦̯̥͗͂̉̃̈́͆̆̽̊̈̌͑̎͠ ̷̨̯͔̩̯̤̫̩̮̤̲̘̗̳̱͉͇͗̂͆̕S̴̢̗̥̙̲̭͒̀̀̓͛́̓̏͂͋͝ͅÓ̵̧̢̬͔̪̬͙̖̬̳̘͛̋̋͘͘͝M̷̢̢͕̱̜̳̝̟͓͉̆͌͘Ē̴̛̲̗̭̝̩̖̪̞̲̦̣̦̤̯̳̋͊͆̈́͐̍̾͒̐̌̕͝͝O̸̹̜͈͇̅͆̉͂̊Ṇ̶̠̪̭̻̣͈̇̌̐̉̄̓̈́͑͐͊̕͠Ȩ̷̧̛̯̥̟̯̫͇̙̪̟̯̀̈̈́̆͌̅̑͒͘̚͜͜͠͝͝͠ͅ ̷̧̬͕͙̞͐̈́̄͘H̵̢̛̰͇̱̤̿͛͐͛̍̆̂̔̎̚͝E̷̯̟͎̬̠͕͔̐͋̐̏̈́̀̒̓͗̾̏̎̿ͅL̴̖͎͙̣̣͆͌̿̾͗P̵̺̰̞͎̭̗̖̩̰̭̃ ̷̨͇̯͇̦̮̺̏̆̉̌͌̍̌́͛̆Ḧ̶͔͎́̋̀̓̆̄̆̔̈́̊͒̈́͌̍̀͝͝I̵͈̮̝̙̠̗̩̳̲͋̄̍̂́̏͛͜M̸͊̐̀̀̅̂̅̈̀̿̆̄̄̒͜͠͝͠-̷̧̨̨̨̧͔̲̠͙̻̗̤̬͉̩̀͒̃
--Sebastian awoke in a cold sweat, he gasped and his eyes snapped open wide. he scrambled upwards just to process where he was. Once he realized he fell asleep faster than he thought.
He sighed in relief, thank the stars that wasn't real. otherwise....-
....oh he's deeper in love than he thought.
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
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