#i think that's pretty much all . too many tags for just a sketch

[disposal-blueeee]

actors au ! lol

brusk told me about this au recently . we were talking about their actors for chapter 20/21 and she gave me the idea of drawing the two of them + todd interacting together . this is pretty enough to paint it , even ( but i won't )

brusk's post about this au is right here . i remember she said that the original idea was by sysig , though !

scriabin by zarla-s

todd and edgar by jhonen vasquez ,

[prozacwhorehouse]

camera roll 📷 | mgg x snl cast member au

in which you do a variety ‘what’s in my camera roll?’ interview and reveal moments from your life

authors note: this lowk sucks but new subplot alert?? i love I used to be funny so i just had to. matthew mixed in with some background for our snl reader ✅

“Hi Variety, this is y/n y/l/n,” you smile and and give a wave to the camera, “and today I’m showing you what’s in my camera roll.”

“This is a picture of me at the premier for a movie I did in 2022, called I Used To Be Funny,” you turn your phone towards the camera, revealing a picture a friend took of you posing underneath the title outside a movie theater in Los Angeles.

“I had the pleasure of running into the very talented Ally Pankiw at an event in 2022, and when she said she’d seen my shows and asked me if I’d audition, I read the script and immediately felt drawn to it,” you speak with your hands, imitating an emulation from your body. “It was funny, it was devastating, it’s an incredible story that I’m so honored to have helped tell.”

“I always wanted to be an actress. So landing that role the same year I was cast on SNL, just a dream come true.” you smile warmly at the memory, moving on to your next picture.

You huff out a laugh looking at the next picture, “aww. I love this one, a lot,” you again turn your phone towards the camera, revealing a picture of Marcello, you, Michael, Molly, and Devon on set.

“This is me and my SNL 22 Crew, which is the name of our group chat,” you nod, “pretty sure this was right before our first show. we were so nervous but it was all okay because we had each other. We were all in the same boat, and that was comforting. Ugh,” you sigh, tilting your head up and smiling, “I just love them so much.”

“it was really hard to pick this next one because my camera roll is currently 60 percent him. All he says is ’wait take a picture’, so now I just have a whole collection of silly photos,” you roll your eyes in fake annoyance, trying to distract from the blush that has crept on your face while talking about him.

‘I’m not entirely sure where we were here, all I know is anything Halloween, Matthew wants a picture with. We had dressed up all crazy, I had on an insane fall sweater and like, striped witch tights. I do really love mismatching clothes, layering and looking insane, which I don’t really see a lot of guys doing?” you furrow your brows and squint your eyes in thought, releasing when admitting, “so I feel really seen by him. He isn’t afraid to be himself, so it makes me feel like I can be myself too. It’s amazing. He’s great. I’m very thankful for him.”

“Aww,” you jut your lip out, heart melting over the picture. “I was having a really rough week. I remember my sketch got cut, and I couldn’t think of how to make them better. I walked into my bathroom one morning and Matthew had stuck this on my mirror. I have so many pictures of these, but I picked this one because it was the first.”

You hum, “I could go on, but, I won’t,” you laugh, tilting your head back down to your phone, quickly exhaling to get back on track, “anyways!” Causing the crew to laugh behind the camera.

And the comments are all like

Loved her in I Used To Be Funny. So talented!

I hope she’s on SNL for a while, she’s one of the best additions in a while

The way she talks about Matthew is the cutest thing

Its so cute that y/n and Matthew are getting more public with their relationship, this is the first time she’s mentioned him by name

THE NOTE HE LEFT HER I NEED TO SEE THE OTHERS

—————————————————————————

tag list <3

@sarcasm-and-stiles @mystargirl-interlude @rubyirene @ashrrams @ghostatrixx @forevermorepassionate @saint-boudica @reidmarieprentiss @awakeforu @spencerlicious @kittycat-april @baudarling @delusional-4-fake-people @avenlymars @angelinajolie0213 @arusio @littleslayofhorrors @jezabelle9299 @jaemnationnn @princess-ofthe-pages @flow33didontsmoke

[kohvan]

Selfpleasuring Seeds: three sketches

Tags/TW: smut, detailed.

"Yes… yes…" John's breath came out from his lips mixed with short moans. The hardness between his legs, peeking from under his lowered pants and boxers, ached and throbbed as he caressed it. He hissed, a thumb pressing against the tip of his shaft, giving out a painfully good sensation. He felt almost drunk or high, his fingers getting lower to the base of his cock, wrapping around it and giving it a nice, punishing squeeze. "Fucking sinner…" he exhaled, looking down at his swollen shaft standing hard and rubbing against his shirt ever so slightly. He closed his eyes, his tongue darting out to lick dry lips. He was so fucking close… A burning embarrassment mixed with arousal made him dizzy. He could almost hear in his ears judging voices of his parents and Joseph… Look at you. Doing such a dirty thing… Sinning before God's eyes… Disgusting, dirty sinner… "Yes…" he whined, his fingers stroking the whole length of his cock from its base to head only to smear a drop of pre-cum that gathered on it. "F-fuck…" Boys are not allowed to touch themselves like this, John. They get punished for that. You don't want us to punish you, do you? "Mh… please…" His hand movements sped up, matching his quickening breath. You're a sinner, John. From inside out. A damned one, indeed. "Yes… Oh God… I am… I am a sinner…" he whimpered, feeling his balls tightening as he reached his climax. We are so disappointed, John. Is it what we taught you to be? We wanted you to be cleansed. We wanted you to be pure. Don't you want to be pure? "No… yes…" his hand slid down and back up a few more times, his voice reminding a whine now. "Please… I want… I want…" Finally, he shuttered into a cllimax. He emptied himself erratically in his fist, gasping with each pulsation of his balls.

Jacob couldn't remember being that hard in years, that's for sure. His cock ached, pressing against his jeans, demanding attention. "Fuck…" if he could just not think about that pretty hands of hers… "Fuck," he repeated, palming himself through his clothes. He shoved aside a pen he held, and it fell on his working desk with a clink. Dammit, can't it wait until he comes back into his quarters? He can't do it right here, while sitting in his fucking office chair, working, and… But oh, if it was her fingers, not his… Her small and yet somehow long fingers with those pink tips and little scratchy nails, so beautiful despite all of the hard work… He closed his eyes and dropped his head on the back of the chair, caressing himself. His hand worked automatically, finding the zipper and pulling it down, slipping under his boxers… "F-f…" he hissed, barely able to curse, as he grabbed his shaft. Her hand would be too short for him, not even wrapped around him fully, wouldn't it? And her touch would be so soft and oh, so inexperienced at first… Yes, just like that… up and down… barely touching… and then giving it a tentative squeeze… and then… He exhaled sharply, biting down the moan that threatened to escape his throat. It felt too good. Too fucking good to be true. So he sped up a little, the caress turning into more of a scratch as he tried to push that vivid image of her out of his mind. He just needed to cum… to drop off that pent up stress… And then back to work… back to… "Jacob? Can I come in?" her voice came from behind the door, followed by a knock. He let out a short gasp, immediately reaching his peak. A handful of sperm spilled out on his palm and fingers, as if he was a damn teenager not able to hold back.

A myriad of voices followed him, calling for him again and again. Father, father, father… Too many lost souls, too many hurt children aching for his love. He breathed heavily, his brow pressed against the bathroom mirror. He needed to get it together. He couldn't afford this stress, not now, not when there is so much yet to be done… Joseph closed his eyes, his chest raising heavily with each deep breath he took. Yes, just like that. Just need to calm down. Just… He gasped softly, feeling a weird, unusual pain in his lower abdomen. His palm sneaked down from his bare chest to the waistband of his pants, caressing his stomach, trying to coax the pain away. But it kept building, a natural response to all of the stress he felt. A natural… and yet so forbidden. "No," he said to himself, full of confidence. "It's against your views, Joseph," his eyes snapped open, a judging stare facing him in the mirror. And yet, his hand seemed to move on its own accord. Committing a sin of flesh. He exhaled slowly, feeling the sensation of this feather-light touch of his hand against his hardening member. It was wrong. He had to fight it. But he was so tired of fighting. He… he couldn't afford this… the sin, it wasn't like him… "But aren't you just a human?" The voice came off his own lips, sounding both foreign and familiar. "God always forgive those who seek atonement…" His breath against the mirror created a foggy spot, blurring his face into someone else's. That voice urged him into giving in. And as much as he fought it, he wanted to give in. His hand grasped his groin, coaxing it into a full hardness. He swallowed, his mouth dry, the fingers, his, or not his any longer, teasing him through the denim of his pants. "N-no…" his own voice finally came out, a small whimper. "It's wrong…" He closed his eyes again, biting his lip painfully. He can't… he shouldn't… he… His breath hitched, a small sound escaping his mouth as he felt himself falling over the edge of this sinful act. Joseph opened his eyes again, his palm pressed hard against his groin. A wet spot slowly growing under his fingers.

[dorkagedoodles]

And there we have it folks - the end of Empyrean Book I! I sound like a parrot but just ... thank you so much for reading! Also, for everyone's convenience, the afterword is also in text under the "keep reading" bellow. <<< PREVIOUS ✧˖☆˖✧˖☆˖✧Page Archive✧˖☆˖✧˖☆˖✧

(To be continued ... ) AFTERWORD

I’ve been putting off writing this for way too long, thinking I have plenty of time until suddenly: BAM! December was upon me and the final update of Empyrean Book I was uploaded while I had the worst migraine in years and couldn’t even scramble together a last minute afterword. But here we go. I’ll try not to care about sounding professional or eloquent, just so I can get it done.

First I want to say a big thank you to everyone who've read Empyrean, all the way through or just a little bit, I’m grateful nonetheless. And extra big thank you to everyone who’s left comments or nice tags in the reblogs etc. I’m awful at responding, but I’ve seen them all and really, really appreciate it.

I worked on the book on and off for three years and I’m pretty happy with the end result. Of course, this is just the beginning of the story. I have an outline for the whole thing, aiming for a total of four books of similar length which will, as you can guess, take a loooooong time. Which brings me to my second point.

Empyrean will go on hiatus for the time being. For how long? I wish I knew. While Book 2 is all scripted and currently in the sketching stage, I have no idea when I’ll have enough finished pages for an update. Once I do, however, I’ll probably update as I finish the pages, rather than wait for the whole book to be complete.

I don’t think I need to explain much of why this is. It’s simply being an adult. It’s having rent, bills and a cat with special dietary needs. And what Empyrean brings in joy it certainly doesn’t bring in money, so ever since July I’ve drawn almost nothing but freelance work.

Despite that, I still feel positive about the future of Empyrean. It’s already been published in parts in a small Swedish magazine and I’ve met people and opened doors that would have been impossible, had I not created Empyrean. Long time followers might remember how I’ve long wanted to be able to support myself by making art. And right now? That's exactly what I’m doing.

Finishing Empyrean will take many years and, in the end, it might never even get picked up by a publisher. But I’m at peace with both of those things. I draw Empyrean entirely for myself and would continue to do so even if not a single other person was reading it. Though … as long as there’s at least one such person I will keep uploading it too!

Lastly, I’ve been looking into self-publishing and hope to give that a try. No solid plans yet, just counting costs, looking at kickstarters and such. I’m currently neck-deep in a big project, but once that’s over I can start thinking about it again. When the time comes, I will of course post about it.

I think that is all. It got a bit longer and ramblier than I planned but oh well.

Again, thank you so much for reading Empyrean! And until next time! -Hans

[crystaldoodler]

A very long post of doodles relating to @theminecraftbee ‘s smallishsona AU (sorry for the tag again). I think of this AU while wandering Tartarus, so, I’ve had a lot of time to think. This post is really long and has a lot of rambling so, I’m putting it all under the cut. I’m sorry world I have too many words and rambles in me

First up, character designs!

I used primarily their mc skins for design, with only a few rl things thrown in. But, I didn’t bring them up so the colors are off a bit.

Starting off with Joel:

He’s following the persona protagonist tradition of mostly wearing the school uniform correctly, but with some minor embellishments. I’m still debating whether or not to add more, but w/e. His signature color is green.

Then Skizz and Impulse:

The greatest dichotomy of time to design, Impulse I knocked out on the second go, but I’ve done many iterations of Skizz and I still am not satisfied with this design. The ripped sleeves looked too out there (to me, at least) but nothing else seems to work so I settled for the shirt under uniform shirt look. Something I struggled with that these two emphasize is making them look like teenagers, and what they look like, and also keep to the anime style, and also my own incompetence with drawing facial features so It’s something all of these lack in. Impulse is yellow, and Skizz is blue.

Scar and Grian are next up, Scar’s facial Scar is from summoning his persona, because he stabbed himself in the face lol. Not much to say about these guys, I settled on orange for Scar and red for grian, which I am still struggling with beacause mumbo:

is ALSO red. So I guess they are just, both? red? If you look at the party select screens in persona though, the characters have pretty strong color coding, so I guess I’ll figure something out. If anyone is still reading: help. Anyway, mumbo wins the award for wearing the uniform the most normal (except for the tie)

Last but not least, Gem!

She’s wearing a longer skirt than the usual uniforms and also some big-ass boots. Also, she’s a sea monster thing? So, I was thinking, staring at SEES cool new uniform things and thinking about the Phantom Thieves and how cool their outfits are and realized the persona games have at least some design change to separate their daily looks from shadow hunting. Even if it is only glasses in p4 lol. So, I thought maybe weapon holsters? but, that seemed a little too generic. So! I decided to combine how I normally draw the hermits (and a lot of the fandom does) as having non-human traits as the big things setting their combat looks apart. It is both a) fun to draw, b) creates an eye catching and distinctive design for combat and c) is really funny. I thought it was funny so I drew a comic about it:

and here’s a sketch of what everyone looks like and also the transformation gives them very distinct eyes, for no reason other than I think it looks cool:

mumbo is a normal human btw (or at least, he appears to be)

Welp,that’s all I got. If I look at these drawings any longer I will hate them so here they are, yippee. Also, Bee/OP, sorry for exploding; I am into persona and hermitcraft right now so this AU is like a perfect storm to give me brain rot.

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTHLY MFIP UPDATE✨✨

9/24 | Month 2 | Next Month | Month 1

Hey folks 🦐 I finally got the chance to make this month’s MFIP Update cuz god damn life was kicking my ass. College is fine for the most part tbh, just a lot of reading and writing cuz of the specific classes I chose. HOWEVER I have 💥FUCKING PMDD💥 so um skill issue on my part but it’s why I’ve been kinda exhausted as shit this week and was late with the update so my bad folks! (Also for more info on PMDD, click here! I don’t wanna spend this post yapping about it but wanted to leave a resource to spread awareness just in case :3). Also, Imma be tagging some of y'all who have been reading/supporting MFIP consistently just for this post, so yk you guys actually know these updates exist. I was gonna do that for the first ever update but as with many things, I forgor, so I'm doing it now! They’re supposed to come out on the 18th of every month, but yk sometimes life happens and I’m a lil late. It won’t be any earlier than the 18th tho so look out for these once it hits that date! Anywho, cheers to this month’s update!

Alrighty folks we be starting with the Art~!

Alrighty so obvious new thing, WE GOT RAPH’S REF SHEEEEEEEET TEEHEEEEEEE

BRO IM SO HYPE ABOUT IT! It turned out so genuinely amazing and I’m ridiculously proud of it! Especially cuz I honestly thought Raph was gonna be a harder design to figure out yk? I’m not used to drawing his body type, I wasn’t as familiar with his outfit, and even tho I’ve sketched him a few times before, I was just a bit nervous with Raph. Funfact, he’s also been the hardest to figure out how to write back when I was first starting MFIP. I genuinely don’t know why, but I got there eventually (I actually really love writing him now—) and same thing happened with his design!

Since MFIP’s taking place a few months after the Krang invasion, i’m able to take creative liberties and update the boys’ designs more! For some clarification btw, in my story’s lore, the invasion took place in September 2020, and MFIP starts on March 2021. Anywhizzle, my ideas for the boys’ designs is to combine their movie look with their show look, cuz while I do LOVE the black on them, it doesn’t feel right to me to not make them still unique in their own ways. These guys are all about authenticity, so why make their gear exactly the same, ya get me? I basically recolored his show gear to be black and red (and added a lil asymmetry on his legs) cuz I think it makes Raph feel older and more sure about himself, just feels right for him! I also just think the red fade on the black is hella cool! Fun lil color theory i think application, the black is more of a really dark, inky blue, so it makes the red pop out even more! I decided to make a bow out of his mask tails, too! I don’t wanna spoil the entire lore reasoning for it yet (it’ll pop up in the story), but I can indeed say it’s intentional that it looks a little like a lunamoth with damaged tails :3 I also took a BUNCH of creative liberties with his sais’ handles, since we haven’t really seen it much so like idk gaslight yourselves into thinking it’s always been this epic✨✨

Also I gave him his shorts back because FUCK YOU I LIKED THE RED TRIMMMM—

OH I ALMOST FORGOT yes he has longer eyelashes! I saw he grows to have really pretty eyelashes in the future cuz of his turtle species, and I wanted to lean into that by showing they’re starting to grow now :3

Bullshit Gag Because Yes‼️‼️

There ain’t shit to say about this, I just pulled a silly. I saw the fact Donnie was supposed to have a “Doctor Donatello” persona in the deleted episode where Dale turns into a werewolf. I’m really heavily on the train of Leo being the team medic and into medicine in general. I don’t think it makes sense for Donnie to be the medic judging by his sensory issues and this mf being as much of a germaphobe as my mom, and in my opinion it felt too stereotypical anyway to have Donnie be the medic. Ofc, to each their own, and this is just my interpretation of it, but I thought it’d be funny if Donnie still had this persona and was passionate about it, but was like horrifically bad at being a doctor. I made this dumbass sketch that I’ll finish sometime in the future (it’s gonna be a chapter in Arc 3 probably) and I just wanted to share it with yall~

THEY’RE HUMAN NOW⁉️

My ass wanted to show off cuz I’m sketching out some ideas of what my human designs for the boys culd be. I already did Leo’s like ages ago so he’s not on here but I’m realizing as I’m typing this my dumbass forgor to post it so um my bad I will do that in a few days—

But I wanted to design (or more accurately, redesign cuz I did draw em once a while back but I’m not satisfied with them) and I think I ate so far so uh yea. There isn’t any logic to sharing this, I just thought it was cool😭

And actually, imma share them here too just so y’all can see my boy ;w;

(A lil outdated cuz I didn’t give him lips at the time)

Okay there we go~

As you can see, I want all the boys to look kinda etherial and like they'd turn heads, and I think I am SUCCEEDING SO HARD SO FAR CUZ DAMNNNN THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AS SHIIIIIIIT TEEHEE✨ Also am tryna make sure they actually look Blasian since that's what the canon of my story says they are. I'll talk about them more another time when I have all of them on here~

But yea that's all for art this time folks :> ONTO THE NEXT THINGGG

Chapter Progress Time Whoop Whoooop‼️‼️

I didn’t make much progress on anything this month due to college—again, it’s fine, but there’s a shit ton of time management going on in my part to just manage everything and make sure I’m on track—BUT I am indeed still working on chapter 10. We’re up to 20 pages now which is only two more pages written from last month, but it’s kinda cool writing Donnie and I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of him! One thing I’ve been tryna do is understand autism better as a condition cuz I do wanna acknowledge and show bro’s autism instead of just ignoring it due to a lack of understanding. Donnie ain’t Donnie without it, ya know? I don’t know everything and tbh I would say I still have A LOT to learn on the subject matter, but I’m tryna expand my knowledge every opportunity I get and experimenting with how to better show it! This is to say tho, I’M NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, NOR AN EXPERT ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. This is what I’m finding and comprehending via my own research, and can tbh end up being wrong so please don’t quote me as a reliable source, I’m still learning ;v;

I remember one of the things I kept hearing about was autism leading people to struggle with empathy. The best way I heard it being described was someone bringing the example of when their friend was upset. That person can’t truly feel their friend’s emotions because they’re not the one experiencing it, so can’t properly understand how it’s making their friend feel. But they can see that their friend is communicating their sadness, and they still try to comfort them and make sure their friend knows they’re there for support. I understood it as bringing logic to emotions in a sense; collecting data and figuring out how to handle the situation based on the data rather than using intuition alone.

I’ve been using that to figure out how Donnie might handle more emotionally subtle situations, where he might try to rationally work through what’s happening and kinda substitute it in place of natural empathy. Like the little tidbit I gave above! Instead of just automatically being able to get vibes that the other person is upset, I felt maybe Donnie would instead notice the fact their tone is kinda different from before; it’s basically a data point. With that data point in mind, he could connect it to past experiences where a tone change could indicate a mood change, and as a result he might conclude that Salena’s tone change means she’s upset. I comprehend it as manually working through empathy rather than it being second nature, if that makes sense. Obviously and thankfully Donnie isn’t gonna spend the entire chapter playing a guessing game or anything with Salena’s emotions, it’s just one lil moment that I thought was cool challenge to myself with when writing him! I really love putting myself in the characters’ shoes when I’m writing them or their dialogue. I highly recommend it as a tool too, since it's helped me a lot with staying in character!

Last Lil Segment Y'all

Aight so, I wanted to try doing something cool if y'all are up for it. I really love rambling about my story and lore and characters blah blah blah, but I don't really know how to do so tbh. I'm not that familiar with how social medias work cuz I just never took it seriously, and I don't wanna just keep being like HEYYYYY ASK BOX IS OPENNNNN like I'm screaming from the top of the hill either. Sooooo insteaddddd

I think it'd be fun to do Q&As here! Or at least something similar. I'll open my ask box again and feel free to send any questions you want; it can be about the story, past lore, design questions, getting to know the characters, absolutely anything! Then when I'm gonna do my update for the month, I'll compile all y'all's asks, (prolly will have to tag to make sure you guys know I answered it, or if you ask anon then uh idk look out for the monthly update) and then answer them during the monthly update as the last section! I think it'll be a cool way to make this feel more interactive, and gives me an excuse to ramble. Don't be afraid to ask potentially spoilery questions either! If it's something I can't spoil yet or even give hints or vague answers about, I'll just say so in the update!

Anywhizzle, That's All Folks~!

I'm glad there was so much to talk about this month! I actually deadass thought it would be short but I should know better with my yapping' ass💀✨ But yeah, thanks for reading everyone! I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your days, and I shall see you next month~ Bye :D

Tageroonies:

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @randomcerealbrand @goldanrabbit @m1sf0rtun3 @foundthethief @ackalice @jellyfishheartsss @dollyrin @harukonene @iieieiw @mwantstossleep @zipzaizen @hypocriticaltypwriter @lordfreg @rainbowpr1sm @idioticsky @oleander-nin @cheeselord-official @skittlesqueen101

By the way, if you guys think you’d like to be tagged whenever an MFIP chapter is posted, lmk in a reblog or comment (no asks or dms plz, too inconvenient) and I’ll be sure to tag so it’s more reliable than tumblr notifs :3🫶

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[lesbian-disaster-tm]

Hi! Im Maya (pronouns are she/her), and this is my blog<3

For My Moots:

Some things about me:

Name: Maya

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Lesbian (duh)

Fandoms: Marauders, Percy Jackson, MCU, The Scholomance trilogy, His dark materials and many other. I mostly post about the first two though

Favourite colour: I think every colour is pretty on its own way but my absolute favourite has to be ORANGE

I sometimes post my art which is distinguished in three TWO categories. The charcoal drawings and acrylic paintings that I take more seriously (they're ok) (I NO LONGER POST THOSE) my fanart/doodles/sketches (they suuuuck) and my fanfiction/writing (also sucks)

I may be seen lusting over/and or screaming about food I can't eat (anything with gluten).

My hobbies are basically just reading, watching tv and drawing.

I'm VERY bad at socialising both IRL and online. So I will most likely not be the kind to start a convo with someone. Still feel free to tag me on stuff or dm or shit. Also asks are very much welcome! Just don't be inappropriate please.

I have some tags like Maya draws or Maya talks or Maya's moots but I'm very bad about tagging stuff

And I think thats it? If you have any questions feel free to ask though I may or may not answer.

-I CAN NOT DONATE TO ANYTHING DON'T ASK ME TO PLEASE IT JUST STRESSES ME OUT- if you don't practice ship and let ship block me please

MY FAMILY:

My on and off wifey (we keep getting divorced???): @premier-amour-mm

My sisterrrrr : @aella-posts

Currently matching pfps with @premier-amour-mm

[pixelatedraindrops]

Hello everyone!! Today I grow a year older :3 (and I hate it lmao) FEEL FREE TO REPLY BIRTHDAY WISHES IF YOU WANT :3

So, over the time I've come back here, I've become pretty confident and proud of my once hidden passion about sick characters, sickfics and sick comfort/whump... 🌡️

And you all have been so supportive and sweet despite my weirdness so I thank you for that. You helped me feel more confident in my otherwise weird fixation <3 So, for my birthday I thought I'd try and make up a little drawing challenge for anyone who wants to give it a try... There are soo many talented artists on this site (and in this fandom)

So... It's your turn to target your faves now. You will see how fun it is and hopefully understand why I love doing it so much. 😈🌡️

(plus it's my birthday and I require some sustenance LMAO JKJK)

But yeah anyone can join in. This is just for fun though! You don't have to if you don't want to! I think its okay to ask for some food on my birthday though...right?? X'D So if you wanna do sth for my birthday...then... 👉👈 💦

CHALLENGE BELOW~

DRAW YOUR FAVE ON A SICK DAY CHALLENGE🌡️😷🥵🤧

~~~~

(Mmmmkay, I am lying to myself when I say this isn't mostly aimed at the RainCode community... X'D Can't help myself. But anyone can join regardless of the fandom!!)

So here's the challenge and the rules!! (featuring my two main lil targets ofc :3)

Regardless of who it is, put your fave through some sickness hell >:3c I'd love to see it! Make em' as miserable as you want!

destroy them 😈 jkjk XD

If you're in the RainCode community you can target anyone, but as you know, my main targets are Yuma and Makoto. If they're also your faves and who you decide to use, that will make me extra happy!

Some tips for anyone new to drawing a sick day scenario art. A few things that make it look convincing are the following:

Pajamas or Loungewear

Messy Bed Hair

Fever flushed face w sweat or at least a red nose

Tired Eye bags

Shivery body

Ice Pack or a Compress on the head

Thermometer sticking from their mouth

LOTS OF BLANKETS

Tissues or medicine surrounding them

Tea or Soup (or both)

Those are just to name some from the top of my head. If you'd like some pointers on how to make a character look ill, check out my Fever Coloring Guide. This is for digital artists but traditional artists can try it too!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

The scene can be anything you want to, it can be fluffy and wholesome (with a caretaker) it can be angsty, or it can be silly. Its all up to you! Do it for the sake of fluff! Caretaking scenes are the best for any kind of relationship >w<

Either way, have fun with it!! I look forward to see what people make if they decide to give it a try! It doesn't even have to be a full on picture! Doodles and sketches are fine too! Just show me something >w<

(feel free to tag me and say happy b-day and mention my challenge, I am proud to be known for this and would love for many to participate :3) I wanna see you take a go at it :3 Show me your style! :D

~

~~~

(wow look at me misspelling the word writing on text when I did it fine with my own hands lol)

Now, I know not everyone can draw...

Well never fear! I accept writing as well! ✍️✍️✍️

(hi vivia lol sorry for giving you a cold, at least you have an excuse to read and do nothing now haha x3)

Sickfics are one of the biggest things I live for! Any little drabbles or full fics with more than one chapter are welcome! Again target who you want any fandom you want, but I'll def be super happy if you make a RainCode fic. And even happier if you target my faves as well, but again, anything will do! Just make a cute story about your fave being miserable and being tended to! Trust me, it's super fun!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

Feel free to post your writing here and tag me or mention my AO3!

If you need a start to your fic, look on my blog for illness prompts! Maybe it can help give you a good start or give some inspiration! (thats why I share 'em :3)

I look forward to anything you try to write!

~

That's about all!! I hope you decide to participate! ✨

Good luck, have fun, and godspeed you future whumpers! 😈

(nah jk XD)

AGAIN THIS IS FOR FUN! NO PRRSSURE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!

[beowulfxgrendel]

A few thought i had about someone and about emotions that i wanted to share:

I think its very interesting how someone can admire and hate a person at the same time. It just seems so illogical to me and I've never really experienced it before like right now.

They give me so much comfort and gender Euphorie because they're kind of a good role model for me to not be scared of doing stuff that is considered feminin while being transmasc. Like they're wearing eyeliner/kajal and nail polish and are or at least were taking testosterone because of a deficit and they think gender stereotypes are dumb.

And that gave me so much confidence to start wearing nail polish and eyeliner again.

And they are just overall such an inspiration (and a very cool person) and I really like drawing/painting them.

But at the same time they're probably the reason why I've felt no desire to paint at all the last few days and actually had to cry more than once. Cause they have such a unique writing style and I'm pretty sure they wrote that one comment about my painting, that made me regret posting it as soon as I read it.

Like I really appreciate them reposting my art. That's great. And tagging me was also very kind (and they also kinda have the right to just post it on their account since my reference was their picture to begin with, but at least telling me or asking me would have been very nice too) but taking two in-progress pictures that look even worse than the finished painting (which I also captioned as clearly not perfect) because they're from a moment where most things where clearly not finished (and also my signature wasn't on it) and then putting a caption that says that I painted them how I see them with my heart (which is not true at all. I admire them and was painting them for practise. To get better at painting. Because I was so inspired by them) and that "someone could have told them that they aren't as beautiful as they thought they were" has just been putting my inspiration to a complete stop.

I was so proud of how the painting turned out but I was also clearly aware that it wasn't perfect (but that I would ruin it if I continued working on it, cause the text parts had already frustrated me too much). And now when I'm looking at it I'm constantly reminded of their opinion on it and have to stop myself from just destroying it because it makes me so sad and angry and disappointed in myself or from deleting the post (because as I said they tagged me. And if people would look at my profile they wouldn't even see the result. They would just have seen the in progress pics and would probably believe the caption completely). And of course it could also have been one of the other two that could have written the caption. But first of all it has such a unique wording that it fits best to him and I think the other two wouldn't be so rude.

And I've still done a few sketches of them because they also give me so much comfort but then I remember the caption again and just get so frustrated. And I wanted to start another painting but I haven't even completed the first sketch because I'm just soo worried that I'll mess up that one too and I'm not strong enough to handle another such disappointment.

I mean if you don't like what I painted, you don't have to share it. You could have just ignored it. And if you liked it and that was some kind of twisted irony then it's not better either. Because that wouldn't be clear from the wording.

And Its just so weird how such a few words from one person (or maybe three. Idk if the other two have to approve of posts first) can have such a negative impact while I've gotten so many nice words from so many people in the community. The positive and nice comments clearly outweight the one negative comment. And still it affects me so much. Maybe because they helped me find confidence in things considered feminine by society.

And still I admire them. Still their voice comforts me. And sketching them too. Im still looking for them in backgrounds of some TV stuff. I'm still listening to their podcast and music and it still gives me so much energy. But it all has such a bitter aftertaste. And then I remember again why I feel so conflicted and have to stop myself from crying.

I just don't understand that. Why are emotions so complicated. Why can such a little comment influence my whole life so much while positive comments can't?

Edit: I am aware that they deleted that one sentence. And that's (I don't want to say nice) fine. Because both sentences were unkind. But they could have just changed the caption if they were already at it. Because I most certainly did not paint them the way I see them with my heart, I am not good enough for something like that yet, and that comment still hurts.

However, I'm very grateful for you nice people who reached out to me (and apparently also to them?) and showed me that I wasn't really overreacting. (And because it seems I haven't been quite clear about this: I am aware that they mostly make comedy stuff and all that and that it was probably a joke (or if not then it was a not very nice honest opinion on something, where I never asked for an opinion, on something I made clear that it wasn't perfect or exactly how I wanted it))

[maxwellsuperbien]

Reminiscing & Sketching

I'm currently working on my portfolio and was thinking about what started my desire to work in art and when I started doing so. I guess other people approaching 30 y-o also think a lot about their past.

I believe my presence on the internet started in 2010, when I was 13 y-o. I created an account on Facebook because my favorite cousin moved there and wasn't on Skype anymore.

I was a naïve, sensitive, insecure, undiagnosed and bullied child. Friendships then weren't very good, I was constantly reprimanded for symptoms of my ADHD and probable autism.

However, I won't talk too in depth about it. I'm just giving context about how risky it was for me to have a presence online (less risky than nowadays though).

Back then, I hesitated between becoming an animal scientist or an artist. I think what made me chose the latter (apart from being bad at math) was the desire to share what I did. I used to show what I drew to my "friends" and my art teacher.

I wasn't confident, but I knew I had fun sketching and some pretty good skills. So I went ahead, created my online persona and started to display my art. I tried to gain more followers in the hope to find more people like me, who were passionate about drawing, make friends... I didn't go as far as 80 people until I went on Instagram, in 2016 (it was easy then, just had to post everyday and add the right tags).

I still don't have online ART friends, I wish I knew the steps to have mutuals become friends in a non-creepy way (I also know many minors are more active on social medias and I don't intend on befriending them, I'm 27, that's not appropriate). So most of my online friends are geeks (Wow ! Geeks on the internet ? Nobody would have guessed ! /s) but it's not the same as talking to people who know more about art.

Regardless of all that yapping, I'm still very much into sharing my sketches so here's a bunch of them.

[absoluteocellibehavior]

Tag Game for “People I’d Like to Get to Know Better”! Tagged by the lovely, beautiful @bizarreohmart <3

Last song: “Blonde Dynamite” by Caravan Palace. Man, I love me some Electroswing and their new album Gangbusters Melody Club is *chef’s kiss*.

Favorite color: Purple. No question. It’s a good color!! Can you blame me??

Last book: Gosh it’s been so long since I’ve pleasure read but I believe it was “Thirteen Storyes” by Jonathan Sims! I’m also going to make a plug for my absolute favorite book series “The Shadowhunter Chronicles”. I have all the books and OUGH!! Those are good!

Last Movie: “The Boondock Saints”! GOSH, that was good!! Highly recommend!

Last TV Show: Me and the fam are working through season two of Arcane at the moment! I am sobbing! I am not ok! We’re sooooo chillin- *sobs*

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: SPICY!! I think it’s usually sweet for me but we had Cajun for Thanksgiving and I’m in the mood :]

Relationship Status: Taken >:D

Last Thing I Searched: Ah, let’s see… “Jewish prayer times”! Can you tell that Holy Ghosts religion sharing has been on my mind? HA!

Current Obsession: Speaking of which, Malevolent!! Specifically this Malevolent and TMA AU that lives in the realm of me and my friend’s discord chat. That and now a Malevolent/Critical Role crossover. So, Malevolent in general! I’ve pretty much been living in that Discord server and was even featured on the most recent Malevolent Autopsy! Yay!

Looking Forward To: End of the semester! Christmas villages! Seeing long distance friends! Sharing a Blood and Sand with my friend on her 21st! Malevolent gift exchange!

Favorite Drink: DR PEPPER CREAM SODA IS A GUILTY PLEASURE!! OH IT’S GOOD. But a nice Old Fashioned for special occasions <3

Song Playing on Loop in Your Head 24/7: “Experience” by Ludovico Einaudi. That song has inspired countless stories for many years now. It’s beautiful…

Current Favorite Character: Just one?! I’ll give you two. The partners: Charlie Dowd and Roland Cummings! I’m still listening to Malevolent and I’m working my way through Harlan’s first Call of Cthulhu campaign. I’m in denial about both of them. They’re in the Waylay sharing a Moscow Mule and Old Fashioned and you cannot convince me otherwise (this is a fanfic I’m planning on writing too).

Fun Activity You’d Really Like to Get Into: Book binding!! I think it’d be so neat. I’ve got this hand bound journal that I sketch in and it’s one of my favorite things. I’d love to learn leather work and how to make your own paper! This just combines those two in a perfect way.

Last Video Game: Played? Stardew Valley! I will marry Harvey or Sam come hell or high water. Now, watched about eight hours of lore videos over? Faith: The Unholy Trinity. Horrifying game. Delicious lore. SO good. Father Garcia, my beloved <3.

Last Comic/Graphic Novel: Truthfully, it was the garbage, totally inaccurate comic called “Samson: Judge of Israel” for my Old Testament class but I don’t wanna talk about that unless you want me to rant about modern Christians reading Jesus into the Old Testament where He shouldn’t be read into (*rasa frasas in Catholic Religion Major*). I will say that the art was stunning in it though. The last one I read out of choice was Blue Exorcist! I don’t think I’m caught up with it anymore but that is my favorite manga of all time! Father Shiro Fujimoto, my beloved <3

(Did I just “my beloved” two priest characters back to back? That wasn’t purposeful! You know, while we’re at it, Father Oscar Malevolent and Father Edwin Burroughs TMA, my beloved <3)

As for tagging!! My dearests @rightpastnowhere , @vee-lociraptor , and @rosesofenvy !! I’d love to hear from you! No pressure at all though <3

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[shares-a-vest]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by the wonderful @hbyrde36 and @sidekick-hero. Thank you both so much for the tags 💖 I always love seeing authors talking about their work!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Six. I really need to cross-post some stuff, including what I wrote for Steddie Love Month and the Flufftober Spring Event.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

16,565 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things and let me tell you, the brainrot is not subsiding (it is settling in to fester now).

4. What are your top 5 3 fics by kudos?

you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won't have to cry

Just a Shirt

Eds, I'm Hungry

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! And I'm sure my answers are always too long-winded 😂 It makes me so happy to get comments on the silly things I write. Actually, brb, I'm sure in the initial excitement, I have forgotten to respond to some here and there.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This ficlet (WARNING: BREAK UP FIC). Life got hectic during Eddie Month so I only wrote a couple of things and this one hurrrrt baaad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm, tough to pick seeing as I usually write happy endings. Lol, the number of times I ended something with Steddie kissing or saying, "I love you". I think I'll go with the entirety of my Joanie Munson AU because it's where I aim to be as fluffy/sappy as possible.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I am extremely thankful that so far I haven't. And I am sending all my love and hugs to people who deal with/have dealt with hateful comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson vs. A Box of Condoms is the closest I have come (hehe, pun). Idk, I struggle to write smut. I'm much better with suggestive language and innuendo, but somehow this fic got the balance right and honestly, gave me a lot of confidence!

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. But I need everyone to know that I have a Riverdale x ST crossover sloshing around in my brain juice on the regular.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. But now I'm paranoid *also proceeds to have an existential crisis about ai scraping my very internet-based soul.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'm more than welcome for someone to reach out.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I am absolutely open to it though! The closest to a collab I have done is Just a Shirt in which I wrote a whole fic from some incredible tags that were left on a ficlet.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I mean, it's gotta be Steddie right? I've never had a hyperfixation give me brainrot like this. Though, if we go back to lame teenage me, the ship that really got me into the fic/tumblr sphere was Sterek.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have been returning to a few wips I thought I had abandoned lately, so never say never. I firmly believe in taking a break if something isn't working out and circling back with fresh eyes.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Despite how I am probably answering most of these questions (lmao), I think I am pretty good at keeping my writing concise and moving it right along. It's not that I rush writing, but I am good at recognising when something I have written begins to meander. I like writing dialogue where people are cutting each other off, and crafting stuff that is a quick little ficlet etc. Having said this...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptive language. I always get so caught up in action and dialogue that I easily forget descriptions of surroundings, objects, clothes etc. Funnily enough, right now I am working on a few quick visual aids (flash-sheet style sketches) for my Steddie BB fic of things that I need to keep in mind/remember to describe as a strategy that will hopefully help.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I could never do it (I only speak English), but honestly, kudos to you if you do/can!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger Things is the first fandom I have written for.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I swear to god this isn't a plug, but I thiiiiink it might be the wip I am oh-so-close to finishing. It's basically a character study of Steve's Mom and is her POV of the end of season 3. I have shared some snippets in the STWG server (and complained during writing sprints). I just need to do a solid edit and get a vibe-check read-through from someone else then it's good to go!!!

Tagging: @momotonescreaming @eyesofshinigami @devondespresso @missberrycake @steventhusiast

(I know this tag game has been making the rounds, so if you see this and haven't been tagged yet, count this as a tag)

[kultavalo]

Summary: Jake and Josh visit a museum on their day off and learn about the life and art of J.C. Leyendecker.

Tags: Josh x male!OC, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, art history, brotherly bonding, marriage proposal

Word count: 8.9k

The museum was quiet that Wednesday morning.

Jake and Josh had gotten up early on their day off in Chicago. They had set out on just wandering through the city for a while, meandering in and out of shops, grabbing breakfast and coffee along the way. Simply enjoying their free time in a new city.

They had been walking for a few hours when the lightly overcast sky had turned dark and angry. When the clouds broke, the sudden and unrelenting downpour that was released forced them to seek shelter somewhere warm and dry. A museum had been their best option for a few blocks and the twins had always been able to appreciate all kinds of art.

Jake had grabbed a pamphlet on the current exposition as Josh paid for their tickets.

“J.C. Leyendecker.” he read while Josh shrugged off his soaked jacked and ruffled a hand through his rain flattened curls.

“Ever heard of him?” he continued, handing Josh the booklet as he peeled off his own coat and made an attempt at drying his hair with the flimsy scarf he’d been wearing. It didn’t do much but at the very least it stopped the long strands from dripping too much water onto his shirt.

Josh looked at the pamphlet as he waited for Jake to finish putting his jacket onto a hanger and shrugged.

“It looks vaguely familiar, I think he made ads and anti war propaganda in the early twentieth century? But honestly what artist from that time didn’t dabble in that kind of content.”

Jake smiled as they started walking into the gallery.

“Makes a living I guess.” he said, opening the booklet and finding the directions to a guided tour through the artworks.

He showed the map to Josh. “Ready to waste a few educational hours here?”

Josh glanced at the map, still absentmindedly fussing with his hair.

“Sure, “ he replied, “beats getting even more soaked I suppose.”

Jake let out a small laugh. “Always the optimist.”

Josh stuck out his tongue at his brother and Jake playfully bumped his shoulder as they walked past the first few sketches showcasing rough drafts of magazine covers.

“These are actually really pretty.” Josh said, eyeing a pencil sketch of a man straightening his tie in a mirror.

Jake flipped through the next page of the pamphlet. It held a little blurb about the artist which he read aloud as they slowly walked from painting to painting.

“Joseph Christian Leyendecker was one of the most prominent and financially successful freelance commercial artists in the U.S. He was active between 1895 and 1951 producing drawings and paintings for hundreds of posters, books, advertisements, and magazine covers and stories. He is best known for his 80 covers for Collier's Weekly, 322 covers for The Saturday Evening Post, and advertising illustrations for B. Kuppenheimer men's clothing and Arrow brand shirts and detachable collars. He was one of the few known gay artists working in the early-twentieth century U.S.”

Josh, who had only half been listening to his brother, more interested in the visuals in front of him, stopped in his tracks when he heard Jake speak the last sentence.

A small smile crept onto his face and a warm feeling started to bloom in his chest. It generally wasn’t too hard for Josh to connect to other artists, knowing the creative process and struggles all too well. But something inside him always soared when he could connect to them on a personal level like this. Finding another queer artist always made him happy, especially when they had lived and worked and loved freely during a time where that wasn’t generally accepted.

Jake looked up from the booklet when Josh had stayed quiet. He recognised the look on his twin’s face well.

When Josh had just come out to him in their early teens Jake had made it a point to listen to as many queer artists as he could find and show them all to Josh as an awkward, pre-pubescent way of showing his support to his brother.

Josh had always appreciated that.

So the fact that they had now unknowingly stumbled into an exposition on another queer artist meant a lot to the both of them.

Jake lightly bumped Josh’s shoulder with his own, shooting him a small smile in acknowledgement. Josh bumped back and mirrored Jake’s smile. It was a nice moment where words were completely unnecessary.

After a while they walked on to the next painting and Jake continued to read from the pamphlet.

“Leyendecker ,also known as 'J. C.' or 'Joe', was born on March 23, 1874, in Montabaur, Germany, to Peter Leyendecker and Elizabeth Ortseifen Leyendecker. His brother and fellow illustrator Francis Xavier, aka "Frank", was born two years later. In 1882, the entire Leyendecker family immigrated to Chicago, Illinois. A sister, Augusta Mary, was born after the family immigrated to America.”

Josh lazily walked past the paintings, staying within earshot of Jake and appreciating the art in an entirely new light.

He’d liked the imagines when they’d first walked in, simply enjoying the artistry and skill that obviously went into the creation of the paintings.

But now he was able to see beyond that.

He noticed how most paintings just depicted men, and in the few where women were also shown it seemed like the men looked at them at first glance, but when you carefully followed their eye lines you’d notice that they were almost always looking at other men.

He lightly chuckled at the subtle realization.

A few feet behind him Jake continued to read, having stopped momentarily to look at a few paintings himself.

“After studying drawing and anatomy under John Vanderpoel at the Chicago Art Institute, J. C. and Frank enrolled in the Académie Julian in Paris from October 1895 through June 1897. Upon their return to Chicago, the Leyendecker brothers took an apartment in Hyde Park. They also shared a studio in Chicago's Fine Arts Building at 410 South Michigan Ave.”

Josh looked back at Jake with a fond smile.

Jake walked up to him and slung an arm around his shoulder as they both looked at a picture of a young boy being happily fitted for his first suit.

“Brothers in art, working together.” Jake smiled, lifting his hand from Josh’s shoulder to ruffle his still damp curls.

Josh laughed as he pushed Jake’s hand away.

“Let’s just continue the tour dumbass.” Josh said with a smile.

They stopped in their tracks as they entered the next room.

The exact same face was staring at them from every painting. Sometimes he would be blond, sometimes dark haired, but the features were always identical; soft slightly round cheeks, a button nose, a slight widow’s peak, dimpled chin, and soft sleepy eyes.

The man was always neatly dressed in a suit or morning coat, placed in different situations; reading a newspaper, walking outside, smoking a cigarette. But it was always definitely him.

The twins shot each other a quizzical look and Jake continued reading from the pamphlet.

“This room is dedicated to Leyendecker’s muse and long time partner Charles Allwood Beach. Beach was Leyendecker's studio manager and frequent model, often posing for the Arrow dress shirts and collars ads. Beach quickly became the official face of the brand, effectively making their secret romance a front page feature across the U.S.”

Josh scanned the room once more. There must have been at least a hundred pictures covering the walls.

Showing this same man, depicted over many years, in many ways. And each of those pictures had been created by another man who obviously loved him very much.

A small lump started forming in his throat, and he had to blink a few times to keep his vision from going blurry with tears. He didn’t wanna cry right now, he wanted to look at every painting and be able to appreciate all their details.

Jake silently followed him around the room, looking at the pictures and leafing through the booklet for any more interesting information.

As they stopped in front of a painting of a man and a woman standing on a staircase while looking off to an unseen scene to the right, Jake continued reading out loud.

“In 1915 Leyendecker and his two siblings moved into a newly built studio and home in New Rochelle. A few years later in 1918 Beach joined them and took up residence at the house full time. The 1920s were in many ways the apex of Leyendecker's career, with some of his most recognisable work being completed during this time. This popularity extended beyond the commercial, and into Leyendecker's personal life, where he and Charles Beach hosted large galas attended by people of consequence from all sectors. The parties they hosted at their New Rochelle home and studio were important social and celebrity making events.”

Josh smiled wide, eyes never leaving the painting in front of him.

“I love that for them.” he muttered, voice coming out a bit crackly due to the lump still firmly wedged in his throat.

Jake looked at his brother, a soft smile played on his lips. He knew what the crackly voice meant. Josh was imagining the love these people had shared. He could visualize the house, the living together, the parties, the extravagance.

And Jake knew Josh was comparing it to what he and his boyfriend had right now. The quiet nights between tours, the holidays they shared, the love that had lasted them eight years and felt like a well that never ran dry.

Jake loved how happy Felix made his brother. Josh deserved all the love in the world and Felix seemed hellbound on providing that.

Josh was absolutely lost in thought. He was still looking at the painting in front of him but his eyes were miles away.

Jake didn’t want to interrupt, but he suddenly realized he really needed the bathroom.

He lightly placed his hand on Josh’s shoulder knowing that would make him pay attention to what Jake was saying but not fully snap him out of his daydream.

Josh turned his head ever so slightly towards Jake as he spoke. “You stay here for a bit, I'm gonna go find a toilet.”

Josh nodded lightly and grabbed the pamphlet as Jake pressed it into his hand, not wanting to take it with him as he went for a piss.

Finding the bathroom was a bit of a quest. The gallery didn’t seem to use directional signs and seeing as Jake had left the pamphlet with Josh he was unable to check the map for any clues.

It took him about five minutes of wandering in and out of art-filled rooms before he finally spotted a door with a sign that read “toilets”. Jake let out a relieved sigh as he slammed open the door and tumbled into the first stall he saw. He hadn’t fully realized how badly he needed to go until he was struggling to open his belt.

He washed his hands after he was done emptying his bladder and excited the bathroom feeling much more relaxed.

A feeling that quickly faded when he realized he had no idea which direction he had come from.

In his rush to find a bathroom on time he had completely neglected to pay attention to the turns he had made and which rooms he had entered. Lightly cursing at himself he started to try and find his way back through the maze of a museum.

It took him another seven minutes to find the Muse’s room again where he had left Josh, having gotten a little distracted by the art he encountered on the way.

Josh had moved to the other side of the room, his back now towards Jake. he was looking at a big sketch of two men standing next to each other, their backs turned towards the viewer, the man on the left casually resting his hand on the shoulder of the man to his right. The edges of the picture were lined with detailed sketches of one of the men’s head’s, the hand on the shoulder, and the other man’s hands gripping his gloves behind his back. It was a nice simple picture and Jake didn’t think too much of it.

Until he looked down at Josh.

Josh was standing, tightly hugging his own chest, the booklet still grasped in his left hand but now opened to a page Jake hadn’t read yet.

His shoulders were shaking softly and with a start Jake realized he was crying.

Worry washed over him as he slowly made his way over to his twin.

What could possibly have happened in the last… shit, fifteen minutes, had he really been away that long? But that still didn’t explain why Josh was crying. They both had their phones on them, if he’d been worried he simply would have called. And Josh had never been that codependent.

“Josh?” Jake spoke softly as he stopped next to him.

“What happened? Are you alright?” He tried to keep too much of the worry out of his voice but he was unsuccessful. Jake hated seeing Josh cry.

Josh let out a shaky sob as he turned to face Jake. his eyes were rimmed red and his cheeks were streaked with tears. For a moment Jake had thought the art had simply made Josh emotional but this was obviously more than that.

“It’s never gonna change is it?” Josh spoke, voice sounding small and hurt and so unlike how he usually sounded.

“What is?” Jake asked, slightly confused.

“Everything! The people, the hiding, the judgment, the shame. The inability to just live life and love without explanation!” Josh said, his voice steadily growing louder and sounding almost desperate.

He wiped at his face and sat down on a nearby gallery bench with a deep sigh, he stared at the ground for a moment as he handed Jake the pamphlet.

Hoping he’d find some answers there Jake quickly skimmed the page Josh had turned to in his absence.

Apparently Leyendecker’s success had only lasted about ten years. The rise of better film and photography equipment eliminating the need for photorealistic art, especially for advertisements.

The money stopped coming in. The parties became less and less frequent until they stopped entirely. The house he and Charles had built became a chore instead of a pleasure, and after J.C.’s brother Frank died in the early twenties the couple became more and more isolated as the brewing start of the second world war had relit the fires of persecution of prominent queer people.

When Leyendecker died on the 25th of July, 1951 he was pretty much completely isolated from the outside world. The remains of his estate were split evenly between his sister Augusta Mary, and his partner Charles Beach.

Upon his death Leyendecker had instructed Beach to burn many of his letters and paintings.

Beach had been unable to fully destroy these last vestiges of his love, instead selling them so he could continue to afford the upkeep on the house they had shared for thirty five years.

Charles died of a heart attack three years later.

Jake’s heart felt heavy with this new information.

He sat down next to his brother, wrapping an arm around his still shaking shoulders.

Josh spoke through ragged sobs.

“ What if you die first? And Sammy and Danny? What if Felix dies before me and I’m left all alone. Or what if I die before Felix and he has to burn whatever he has left of me because keeping it could mean he’d be putting himself in danger. It’s been almost a hundred years and I feel like barely anything has changed. We keep getting these glimmers of freedom only for them to be snatched away again at a moment's notice.” Josh sobbed into Jake’s shoulder and Jake’s heart shattered at these previously unspoken worries that had obviously been haunting Josh’s brain for a while.

“We’ve been together for eight years.” Josh continued.

“Eight full years. He’s the love of my life and I’m scared to hold his hand in public because that small sign of affection could sign our death sentence. I’m scared to touch him when we go to a restaurant, I’m scared to dance with him when we go out. I’m just so scared, all the fucking time and sometimes I feel like I just wanna stay at home with him and never go outside again cause at least when we’re together in our own space I feel safe.”

Jake hugged him tighter, putting down the pamphlet on the bench beside him and adding his other arm to the hug as well.

Josh was sobbing violently, heaving breaths wracking his body and despite being the same size, at this moment he looked incredibly small to Jake.

It took a good few minutes before Jake felt like he had the growing lump in his own throat under control enough to speak.

“I can’t predict the future Josh.” he started.

“No one can. And I don’t know who will die first, but I can definitely bet on my liver giving out before yours.” he paused as Josh let out a tiny huff, not quite the laughter Jake had hoped for but it was a start.

“No one is gonna burn anything, I’ll make sure of that. If anyone so much as takes out a match near any of your stuff my ancient ass is gonna take them out faster than they can say ‘grandpa put the sword down’” Josh chuckled slightly at that and Jake’s heart slowly started piecing itself back together.

“I can never fully grasp what you’re going through. And I hate seeing you suffer like this. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to help change how scared you are and I hate that too. But I do know one thing.”

Josh looked up a little at his brother’s face, eyes even puffier than before, skin blotchy with tears.

“What’s that?” he muttered, wiping his sleeve across his cheeks.

“Felix loves you more than life itself.” Jake said with a smile.

“That man looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky.”

Josh gave him a watery smile at that.

“And I also know,” Jake continued, “That you love him more than anything too. Whenever you see him your face lights up like the fucking sun.”

Josh looked down at his hands for a moment, a smile playing on his face as he thought about the man whom he had spent the last eight years of his life with.

“Honestly we all thought you guys would stop being so disgustingly in love after a few years and just settle into tolerating each other like the rest of us mere mortals. But I don’t think you two will ever stop acting like lovey dovey teenagers who just confessed their first crush.” Jake laughed and Josh let out a small chuckle.

“I’m sorry our love is so unbearably cute Jake, we’ll try and tone it down a bit.” Josh muttered, still smiling as he absentmindedly picked at his nails.

Jake grabbed his shoulders, gently but firm enough to make Josh look at him.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Seeing you two like that makes me believe all is right in the world. I never really believed in true love man, but when I look at you guys… you radiate so much joy and positivity and care, I can’t help but feel loved just by proximity.”

Josh beamed at him through his tears.

“I love you Jakey. We both do.” he said as he sniffled and wiped at his nose with his sleeve.

Jake pulled him into another hug. “I love you too Josh.” he replied. “And I’m so incredibly happy you two found each other. No matter what happens, I’ll always make sure you’ll be safe.”

Josh let out a shaky breath and held his brother tighter. The future was just as unsure as it had ever been, but he knew it would be okay as long as he had his family.

After a few minutes of just sitting together in silent embrace Josh took a deep sigh and slowly let go of Jake.

“Do you wanna continue the tour?” he asked as he rubbed his hands across his still damp cheeks.

“Only if you want to.” Jake replied. “We can also check if the rain has stopped and go grab a coffee somewhere.”

Josh nodded at that. As much as he appreciated the art, it just reminded him of the struggles of the past. He needed to return to the present for a bit.

They silently made their way back to the lobby of the gallery.

Jake went to grab their jackets as Josh went to find a bathroom. He really did need to pee but he also appreciated the quiet opportunity to splash some cold water on his face before heading out onto the streets again.

He glanced at himself in the mirror above the sink. His hair was all frizzed up from the rain, his eyes were red and bloodshot, and his skin was blotchy and tear streaked.

He looked like a wreck.

As he splashed more water onto his face he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, signaling a text.

Probably Jake asking what took him so long.

He quickly grabbed a towel and dried off his face and hands before walking out of the bathroom, ignoring his phone.

He found Jake idling around the tiny museum gift shop, holding both their jackets in one arm and lazily spinning a rack of postcards.

“Has the rain stopped yet?” Josh asked as he walked up to his brother and took his own jacket out of his arms. The fabric was still a little damn but thankfully the sudden downpour hadn’t soaked it too bad.

Jake grimaced as he slipped his arms into his own jacket, the denim not having been quite as waterproof as Josh’s bomber jacket.

“I think so.” Jake replied, "looks a lot better anyways.”

It still drizzled slightly as they walked outside but it wasn’t too bad.

Jake was absentmindedly fiddling with his phone as they walked but he seemed to know where they were going so Josh simply followed him, mind racing too much to fully care where they’d end up.

After about a ten minute walk Jake suddenly stopped and Josh almost crashed into his back, not expecting the sudden cease of motion.

“What the- why did you stop Jake?” he asked, looking at him with a confused frown.

“We’re here!” Jake beamed, gesturing at the building in front of them.

Josh looked at the building, having been too lost in thought to notice it before.

It looked like a cute little cafe, two big windows sat on either side of the front door and wherever there was even an inch of exposed brick large trellises of climbing ivy had found their home.

There was a sun and a moon painted on the left and right windows respectively and underneath in golden lettering Josh read; “Sun and Moon cafe, purveyors of good coffee and safe spaces since 1876”

Above the front door a giant pride flag lazily waved in the slight breeze.

Jake was still doing what he always did when trying to cheer Josh up; research and connection.

As much as Jake was a walking thesaurus he often preferred to show his affection and support through actions.

Josh felt the lump in his throat returning in full force. He swallowed hard and shot his brother a warm smile before walking into the cafe.

The interior was cozy. Warm brown wood panels covered the walls and there were plants hanging from the ceiling. There were a few small window seats to both sides of the door. Two sets of steps on either side of the room led to a bigger elevated seating area and nestled between the stairs was a small barista bar.

The walls were covered with posters and artwork promoting all kinds of pride events, drag performances, and community events. Some posters seemed to date back at least fifty years.

Jake closed the door behind them and quietly shuffled past Josh until he stood in front of him.

“How about you go and find us a table, I’ll order the drinks.” he said, smiling as he saw Josh look around in wonder.

Josh quietly nodded and slowly made his way up the stairs, still looking at all the posters lining the staircase.

The upstairs seating area was quiet. There was a woman in a corner booth leafing through a book as she absentmindedly stirred her coffee. One of the tables near the right staircase was occupied by two men talking together and laughing.

Other than that the cafe was empty. It was a Wednesday afternoon after all, Josh had almost forgotten that.

He looked around at the tables, trying to decide which one would give him the best view of the restaurant while still being able to pay attention to Jake when he noticed something peculiar.

All of the tables had been scratched to shit. The surfaces and the table legs looked rough, like a herd of cats had attacked them on a daily basis for years.

But when he looked closer he realized it wasn’t just random scratching. There were names and hearts and full sentences and declarations of love, carefully carved on every square inch. None of them seemed to overlap.

He traced some of the letters with a finger, trying to read what it said.

“Forever yours, Sue and Bonny”

“Ted + Allen, never apart “

“Roberta and Juliet, rebels for life”

"Joe and Charlie, in this life and the next"

On and on the carvings went and Josh wanted to read them all.

“Oh cool! The website said this would be here but I didn’t know if it would be accessible.” Jake said as he carefully climbed the stairs holding two giant cups of coffee and lightly startling Josh out of his focus.

“What are you talking about Jake?” Josh asked.

“Well I did a little google search for some cool cafes when you were in the bathroom and this place was pretty high on the list.” Jake answered as he set the two cups down on a table near the left hand stairs.

“Apparently it’s one of the first public queer spaces in the country, and somewhere in the early twentieth century a tradition was started for couples to carve their names into the tables to make their relationships official. It basically meant you were married.”

Josh stared at him slack jawed. Jake nonchalantly sat down at the table, taking a sip of his coffee and scrunching his nose a bit before grabbing the sugar.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re the best brother in the history of all brothers?” Josh said as he slowly slipped into his own seat, still in awe at how considerate Jake had been.

“Yeah, Sammy says it quite a lot actually.” Jake smiled as he took another sip, now seeming more satisfied with the taste.

Josh snorted at that. “Well I know that’s a lie.” he chuckled as he took a sip from his own coffee.

“You’re right.” Jake nodded sagely “Danny actually says it the most.”

Josh laughed loudly.

“Now that I do believe!” He remarked as Jake let out a laugh of his own.

The pair chuckled for a few minutes, not really laughing at the bad joke but simply being caught in a fit of giggles that kept bubbling up as soon as one of them got quiet.

The day had been much more emotional and draining than either of them could ever have expected and the small moment of levity was like a breath of fresh air.

As their giggles finally died down Jake leaned back in his chair with a small sigh, face angled towards the ceiling, eyes closed, simply enjoying the quiet of the cafe for a moment.

Josh looked down at the table and thought about what Jake had said the carvings meant. His fingers went back to lazily tracing the letters as he spoke softly.

“I’m gonna ask Felix to marry me.”

Jake’s head quickly snapped back to look at his brother’s face. Josh almost looked shy. His fingers still tracing the carvings, eyes focused on the movement.

“Holy shit!” Jake exclaimed. “Finally!”

Josh let out a laugh at that.

“I felt like it was time.” he said, still not meeting Jake’s eyes.

“You don’t fucking say.” Jake replied. “I mean I’m not saying there was a betting pool or anything but both mom and Sammy definitely owe me money now.”

Josh finally looked up, a frown on his face. “You bet on whether or not we’d get married?” he asked, sounding slightly offended.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Jake replied. “We always knew you were gonna get married. We were just betting on who would ask who first.”

Josh let out a snort. “You fuckers are unbelievable.” he laughed.

“When are you gonna ask him?” Jake asked when his twin had stopped laughing.

“I don’t know yet.” Josh replied. “Trying to think of the right moment.”

Jake nodded. He tried to think of the best way to go about proposing to someone but anything he could come up with just didn’t feel quite right.

“Do you have a ring yet?” he asked instead.

Josh looked down at his hands again, trying to hide the blush that slowly crept up on his cheeks. He nodded his head lightly.

He slipped one hand into the front of his shirt and pulled out a long silver necklace on which a beautiful silver ring hung.

The band was a little over a quarter inch in broadness. The outer edges were slightly raised and in the middle of the band there were several stars engraved, their centers adorned with tiny diamonds that reflected a multitude of colors in the soft cafe lights.

“Shit man, that’s gorgeous.” Jake whispered in amazement, eyes wide as he took in the tiny work of art.

“Thanks.” Josh smiled. “I designed it.” he carefully placed the chain back under his shirt, placing his hand over the fabric, softly pressing the ring against his chest.

“Why do you have it on a chain though?” Jake asked. “Aren’t you scared you’re gonna lose it?”

“ A little, I guess.” Josh replied. “But wearing it like this against my skin… I don’t know, it sounds stupid.” he quickly took another sip from his coffee, looking around the room to try and avoid eye contact.

Jake positioned himself right in Josh’s line of sight, making it nearly impossible for Josh to look away from his brother’s face.

“Come on man, you can tell me, I promise I won’t say it’s stupid.”

Josh sighed and looked into his cup as he spoke, still avoiding looking directly at Jake’s face.

“Wearing it like this against my skin makes me feel like I'm charging it up with my love.” he said, face turning bright red.

“I commissioned it six months ago, received the finished product three months later and I’ve been wearing it every day since.” he shot a glance at Jake who just looked at him with a goofy smile.

“You’re such a romantic Joshy.” Jake smiled as he rested his head on his hands in a theatrically lovestruck way.

“Honestly if Felix doesn’t say yes I just might.” he continued shooting Josh a toothy grin and a wink.

Josh snorted into his coffee and smacked Jake on the shoulder.

“Gross dude!” Josh laughed as he wiped the foam off of his top lip.

“I hope you’re not talking about the coffee.” a familiar voice spoke behind them.

“I could really use some caffeine after that flight.”

Josh turned around with an incredible speed. He would recognise that voice anywhere.

“Felix?!” he exclaimed in shock as he looked upon his boyfriend who was definitely here and holding a suitcase and might have heard… oh god he could have heard everything.

“What- how- when- what are you doing here darling?!” Josh was at a loss for words, a feeling he was not too overly familiar with.

“Well sweetheart, maybe if you checked your phone more than twice a day you’d know.” Felix laughed.

Josh frowned and quickly grabbed his phone out of his pocket. The only one who had texted him today had been Jake when he was in the bathroom.

But one look at his screen quickly reminded him that even though he had felt the message come in, he’d never actually checked who had sent it. The message read:

“Hello my love, I managed to get the next two weeks off from work so I’m hopping on the next available flight to Chicago. Let me know where in the city you are and I’ll come to you. Miss you, love you, see you soon.”

Josh stared at his phone in confusion.

“But I didn’t reply so how did you-” his sentence was cut off by Jake loudly slurping his coffee. He wiggled his fingers in a little wave and shot Josh a shit eating grin when he looked up from his phone screen.

“You motherfucker…” Josh whispered, eyes wide in realization.

Jake made an exaggeratedly insulted face, pressing one hand to his chest as if he were clutching a pearl necklace.

“Come now Joshy.” he said, tone trying to match his expression but unable to keep the amusement in his voice from slipping through.

“If it hadn’t been for this motherfucker that poor boy would have spent all day wandering the cold empty streets of this big scary city! You wouldn’t have wanted that would you?”

Josh rolled his eyes at Jake and instead turned his attention back to Felix who was trying his best to suppress his laughter.

The shock at suddenly seeing his partner had started to fade away and instead Josh was now awash in an overwhelming feeling of love that seemed to flow out of a bottomless pool in the pit of his stomach.

He wanted to hug Felix and never let go, kiss him until his lips were red and sore. But the bubbling flow of love flowing through his guts was quickly poisoned by fear. They were in public.

He got up from his chair and walked over to Felix, using all the restraint he could muster to simply give him a friendly hug. It hurt him, having to let go so fast, but their safety was worth more than his emotional comfort.

As they let go however, Jake softly cleared his throat behind them.

Josh looked back at his brother and saw him silently tapping a pride sticker pasted on the wall next to their table.

Jake was way too fucking observant.

But a slow realization did start creeping its way into Josh’s mind.

This was a queer bar. A safe space. They could be as affectionate as they wanted here and no one would care. The fact that there were barely any people in the bar also helped ease the anxiety when Josh turned back to his boyfriend and softly kissed him on the lips.

Their first kiss in public resembled their first kiss in private an awful lot.

It was shy and soft and sweet and perfect. Felix had wrapped his arms around Josh’s waist, pulling him flush against his chest. Josh stood slightly on his tiptoes as he draped his hands around the taller man’s shoulders, one hand automatically snaking its way into his hair like it had done so many times before in the privacy of their own home.

They held each other for a long while, pressing their foreheads together once their lips disconnected.

“I missed you so much.” Josh whispered against Felix’s skin.

Felix smiled and pressed their lips together once more before replying. “I missed you too, so much.”

Josh hugged him tightly for a moment before letting go and, now fully realizing what he’d done, anxiously looking around the room.

No one looked at them. No one had even seemed to notice them. The woman in the corner was still reading her book and the two men at the table across from them were too caught up in their own conversation to pay them any mind.

Jake was silently sipping his coffee and reading through the menu that came with the table, making a valiant effort to grant them some semblance of privacy.

Josh turned back to Felix, heart still racing from love and anxiety and the general whirlwind of emotions the day had brought.

He cleared his throat before he spoke, unsure which emotion his voice would linger on when he spoke.

“You wanted coffee right?” he asked, voice having landed on anxious giddiness. “I’ll get you some coffee.”

Felix nodded with a smile. “Coffee would be nice, thank you my darling.” he said, giving Josh’s bicep a squeeze before taking a seat at their table.

Josh smiled back before walking down the stairs to order at the till. His head still swam and it took him a few moments before he actually realized the woman behind the counter had spoken to him.

She slowly waved a hand before his eyes and gave him a warm smile as he blinked out of his musings.

“Hello there.” she smiled. “Back again from far away?”

Josh shot her an apologetic smile back. “Sorry, yeah, bit distracted at the moment.”

“No worries, what can I get for you.” she asked as her hands idly fluttered over the till, waiting to enter his order into the system.

“Uhm, I’ll have a large latte please and…” his sentence drifted off as he looked at the glass cabinet filled with baked goods.

Josh could feel his stomach rumbling, not really having eaten since breakfast which would have been at least six hours ago by now.

The cabinet was filled with all manner of cakes, cookies, and sandwiches. The amount of choice was a little overwhelming.

“Uhm.. what do you recommend?” he asked the lady as he gestured at the many food options.

She smiled as she excitedly walked Josh through her favorite options. He eventually picked a spicy cream cheese and cucumber sandwich for Felix, a salmon and lox bagel for Jake, and a slice of carrot cake for himself.

He paid for his order, waited a few minutes for the drinks and food to be prepared and then took the tray of items up the stairs and back to their table.

He walked slowly, not wanting to drop the tray on his way up the narrow staircase. As he got about halfway up he started to catch slivers of a conversation. Too focussed on the tray he was carrying, it took Josh a while to realize the conversation he was overhearing was between Felix and Jake.

Josh always loved when his brother and his boyfriend shared a moment together. They didn’t have much in common, having completely different jobs, hobbies, and general interests. But whenever they found something they could both nerd out over, Josh enjoyed nothing more than to just sit back and watch them have fun together.

This conversation didn’t seem to be about some new tv show or movie they had both seen though. Josh wasn’t sure what it was actually about.

“You can’t go first man, you’ll make me lose money!” Jake’s voice came in a hushed tone.

“Jake, I really don’t care about your stupid bet.” Felix replied in the same tone.

Bet, bet… what bet? Why did that sound so familiar?

Were they talking about Jake’s bet about who would propose first? But why would they be talking about that?

Josh’s racing mind was cut off by Jake’s voice, now speaking at a normal level.

“Oh sweet, I’m starving!” he exclaimed.

It took Josh a second to realize what his brother was talking about, until he remembered he was still holding the plate of food and Felix’s coffee which was now slowly getting cold.

He quickly continued up the stairs and placed the tray on the table, distributing the food and sitting down next to his boyfriend.

Felix gave him a warm smile and comfortably slung an arm around the back of Josh’s seat and Josh’s heart fluttered.

The anxiety he had felt earlier that day about not being able to share these little moments with his partner seemed like such a distant memory in a way.

Of course it wasn’t fully gone. 27 years of fear doesn’t just go away with one good experience.

But the fact that these comfortable tiny things were now a part of his reality made him feel safe in a way he had rarely felt outside the confines of his own home.

Josh smiled back at Felix and took a bite of his cake when he remembered the confusing conversation he’d overheard as he walked up the stairs.

“So what were you guys talking about?” he asked nonchalantly between another bite of cake and a sip of his now lukewarm coffee.

The panicked look Jake and Felix shot each other didn’t go unnoticed by Josh. but he chose not to comment on it, too curious to see what reply they’d come up with first.

“A movie.”

“Music.”

Their replies came at the same time.

Josh raised his eyebrows and shot both of them a look over the edge of his coffee cup.

Felix looked absolutely terrified and Jake resorted to taking the biggest bite of his bagel he could possibly fit in his mouth and desperately avoiding any and all eye contact with anyone.

The answer as to what they had been discussing was pretty clear.

Even though he was immensely amused at their reactions, he kept a straight face as he put his cup back on the table and stood up.

“I see,” he spoke gravely. “If you two will excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

And with that he turned his back to them and descended down the stairs again.

He could hear their panicked whispers behind him and something that vaguely sounded like Jake choking on his bite but he paid it no mind.

He simply walked back to the coffee bar and waited in line behind some new customers who had just entered.

He patiently waited for the people in front of him to finish their order and smiled at the woman behind the counter when his turn came.

“Back so soon?” she smiled back “everything okay with your order?”

“Yes the food is great, thank you.” Josh replied.

“I was just wondering, is everyone allowed to carve into the tables? Are there any rules?”

The woman behind the counter, Josh now noticed her name tag read ‘Jocelyn’, gave him a knowing smile.

“I’m very happy you asked.” she said as she dug behind the counter and pulled out a clipboard with a form.

“It used to be a bit more informal,” she said, seeing the confused look on Josh’s face.

“But seeing as this has been declared a historic establishment we now unfortunately have to deal with a bit more paperwork.”

Josh nodded as he started to read through the form. It wasn’t too complicated, simply a list of rules, an empty space to fill out what you were about to carve so if it ever became unreadable evidence of it would still exist, and a place to sign to signify you had read the form.

The rules were pretty standard;

Don’t carve over any previous carvings.

No obscenities.

Don’t damage the table in any way that could compromise its functionality.

The carvings can take up no more than two and a half by two and a half inches.

Josh filled out the form and handed it back to Jocelyn who quickly skimmed through it and put it back behind the counter.

“Very nice. Do you have a carving utensil or would you like to borrow one?” she asked as she looked back up at him.

“Oh uh, I’ll borrow one please.” Josh smiled sheepishly, not really having thought about how he would actually create the carving.

“Of course.” she smiled and rifled behind the counter once more.

A few seconds later she handed him a short stubby knife. It definitely looked sharp enough to do the job, but the blade was also short enough to avoid accidentally cutting your fingers.

Josh beamed brightly at her.

“Thanks, I’ll return this before we leave.”

Jocelyn nodded back with a smile. “Have fun and be safe!”

Josh straightened his face again as he walked back up the stairs, keeping the knife out of view as much as possible.

Jake and Felix were quiet, panicked whispers having died down; they now both stared into their respective coffee cups, looking slightly shell shocked.

Josh almost felt bad for them. Almost.

Felix looked up at him as he stepped foot on the landing. He opened his mouth to speak but Josh simply raised his hand to cut him off.

He sat back down in his seat and looked at the table for an empty spot. The table was pretty much covered but as he moved his plate of cake he found a spot that seemed to be just the right size.

“Josh, sweetheart, what are you-” Felix started as Josh started dragging the short blade over the wood.

“Josh what the?!” Felix sounded alarmed at his actions, not used to seeing his boyfriend perform random acts of vandalism in public. But out of the corner of his eye Josh saw Jake put a hand on Felix’s arm to quiet him.

“Shh, it’s allowed.” Jake spoke.

Above his head Josh could hear his brother and his boyfriend quietly arguing but he didn’t pay much attention to what they were saying. He was too focussed on making sure the letters of Felix’s name would be readable for a very long time.

As soon as he was satisfied with his handiwork he sat up and handed the knife to Felix, cutting him off mid sentence.

“Here, now you carve my name.” he said, holding the handle of the blade out to the love of his life, who still looked incredibly confused but to his credit did take the knife and did as he was instructed.

Josh shot a glance at Jake who also still looked somewhat puzzled but as Felix started carving realization seemed to dawn on him and a smile started tugging at the corners of his mouth.

While Felix was focussed on the table Josh deftly unclasped the necklace from his throat and let it drop into his lap. He silently slipped the ring off of the chain and held it in his left hand as his right nimbly stuffed the necklace into his pocket.

It took a minute but soon Felix too had finished his carving and sat back up, handing the knife back to Josh.

Josh finally allowed himself to smile as he took the knife and carefully placed it onto the table.

“There.” he spoke, shooting a sly grin at Felix. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”

Felix’s eyes frantically shot back and forth between the twins.

“What?” he asked, voiced small and confused.

Josh smiled at his husband.

“Carving your names into the table has been a tradition here for queer couples for over a century. In times where legal marriage wasn’t possible this meant that you were married in any way that mattered. We’re married now darling. And I know that bulge in your pocket isn’t just ‘cause you’re happy to see me so come on pretty boy, show me what you got.”

Felix’s puzzlement turned into a wide grin as he dug into his pocket and took out a box.

Josh stared in awe at the silver band that rested against the blue velvet lining of the box.

In the center of the band there was a tiny, expertly engraved depiction of a sun with a face. It was almost reminiscent of a tarot card with its closed eyes and soft smile. Engraved tendrils of lights shot off from its face and encircled the ring. It was beautiful.

Felix was equally in awe as he stared at the ring in Josh’s palm.

Their hands shook slightly as they placed their rings onto the other’s fingers and when they looked up at each other’s faces they saw their own watery smiles mirrored back.

Their lips met in a teary eyed kiss and for a moment it felt like they were the only ones in the room.

Even though it wasn’t technically official, the way Josh felt as he disconnected his lips from Felix’s to look back down at their names carved into the table told him that the man he now held in his arms, the man he had held as close as humanly possible for the last eight years, was now really, truly his for life.

Josh looked back at Felix, pressed their foreheads together and let out a wet laugh as Felix suddenly started peppering his face in kisses.

He managed to get both Josh’s cheeks, his left eye, his forehead and the tip of his nose before Josh devolved into a fit of giggles and grabbed Felix’s face with both hands, holding him still as he stared into his husband’s eyes before pressing their lips close again for another deep kiss.

They were so lost in eachother that the sudden sniffle emanating from the other side of the table actually startled them.

Jake hadn’t meant to snap them out of their moment but the tears had been running down his face ever since they had finished the carving and if he hadn’t sniffed his nose at that moment he would truly have turned into a blubbering mess.

Josh smiled softly at his brother.

‘Are you crying Jakey?” he asked, trying to sound teasing but unable to keep the real emotion out of his voice.

“Shut up. No I’m not.” Jake sniffled back, wiping at his eyes and nose with the back of his sleeve, silently cursing at the apparent lack of napkins in this cafe.

“I’m just upset that seeing as neither of you fuckers actually proposed no one is gonna win the bet.” Jake said, tears still streaming down his face.

Josh and Felix both let out a loud snorting laugh at that and scooted their chairs over to each side of Jake in order to trap him in a warm hug.

“Let go assholes,” Jake protested weakly “you two just lost me a lot of money!”

“Oh boo hoo.” Josh chuckled as he squeezed his twin tighter. “Maybe that’ll teach you not to bet on people’s important life events.”

Jake grumbled some curses under his breath but his hands snaked around both Josh’s and Felix’s waists in order to return the hug.

After a few moments of comfort they all let go and scooted back to their own seats.

They finished their food and coffee and talked about how to start planning an actual wedding, who to invite, where to have it, what they would wear, color schemes, etcetera.

After a while when Jake started suggesting they go with purple and green for the colors the newly weds decided it was time to leave seeing as Jake was obviously getting bored.

As they walked downstairs Josh remembered to return the knife to Jocelyn.

She gave him a bright smile as she saw him approach the counter, holding Felix’s hand.

“All done?” she asked as she took the knife from Josh and stored it back safely in its designated spot.

“Yes. Thank you.” Josh smiled back and the three of them started walking towards the door.

“Wait! I have something for you!” Jocelyn called after them.

The three men stopped and turned back as she put a small box obviously meant to carry home baked goods on the counter.

Josh, Felix, and Jake looked through the little plastic window at the top of the box. Inside were two cookies, beautifully decorated with lavender flowers made out of icing and swirling letters that read “Just Married”

It took all three of them some conscious effort to keep the tears down once more as Josh and Felix profusely thanked Jocelyn.

Jake picked up the box of cookies as Felix was still dragging his suitcase around in his right hand, and his left hand refused to let go of Josh and Josh in turn hand lost his right hand to his husband and his left hand was desperately trying to open Felix’s umbrella as they stepped outside into the drizzling rain.

Josh finally managed to get the umbrella open and he and Felix walked with their shoulders pressed together and their hands entwined. More free and in love than they ever had been.

Jake couldn’t help but smile and take a picture as he watched his brother and his brother-in-law walk out onto the gray streets of Chicago.

He also snapped a shot of the cookies in his hands and sent both pictures to the family group chat. waiting for chaos to ensue, he turned off his notifications and quickly hurried after the two love sick idiots in front of him, cursing himself for not bringing an umbrella of his own as the skies above him opened up once more.

[n0rthernattitude]

⊹₊ ⋆ ( danny ramirez, cismale, he/him/his, thirty ) i think dominic "dom" martinez  just walked by! wow, they really are a danny ramirez lookalike! they’ve been here in salem for his whole life, and seem to hang around downtown fitness center a lot. i heard they’re a tattoo artist at  inked crow designs. when asked to describe themselves they’re likely to say black coffee, worn flannels with rolled up sleeves, ink disappearing beneath a shirt collar, faded t-shirts, backwards baseball caps.

basics.

full name: dominic emilio martinez. nicknames: most people just stick with dom. gender/pronouns: cismale/he/him/his. sexual orientation: extremely bisexual. birthday: november 15th. star sign: scorpio. scorpios are known to be loyal, passionate, intuitive...temperamental, moody, and secretive. occupation: tattoo artist at inked crow.

personality.

positive traits:  honest, loyal, determined, passionate, dedicated, intelligent. negative traits: realistic moody, sarcastic, possessive, stubborn, easily jealous, holds grudges. he is the grump with a heart of gold. hogwarts house: i know jrk sucks and we do not claim her but the man is a slytherin.  alignment: chaotic neutral. ennegram: 4w5. personality type: infp. 

backstory.

dom grew up in salem. he's the oldest of five kids. his parents are still in town and he stuck around partially to take care of them as they got older and also because he couldn't really imagine himself anywhere else. (he sometimes thinks they're disappointed that he didn't pursue a more impactful career, but he thinks that permanent body art is pretty damn impactful).

he was a creative kid. during recess, most of the other kids were playing pickup soccer football or tag. dom was scribbling away in one of countless composition notebooks. in fact, he was doing that during class, too, much to his parents' chagrin. they had to take sketch pads away from him more than once.

he's a natural athlete and he did play football all through high school. he probably would have played in college, too, if he didn't blow out his knee his senior year. while his parents were devastated, dom privately didn't really mind. he had no idea what he wanted to study if he did go away to school and he hadn't gotten a full scholarship, so sticking around in salem to help out with his little siblings was fine with him.

besides, it meant he got to become an apprentice at inked crow. at first, he was mostly sitting at the desk answers phones, booking appointments, and cleaning up once the shop closed, but he got to draw a lot during down time...and he got a lot of cheap ink from the newer artists by offering himself up as a canvas.

the rest is pretty much history. he slowly moved up the ranks to become one of the town's most sought after tattoo artists and he spends his afternoons and evenings doing what he loves: helping people get their dream tattoos. he's known for his custom designs and he never uses the same one twice.

his dad recently fell and broke his hip, so he's spending a lot of time at his parents making sure they have hot meals and that his dad isn't pushing himself too much.

many of his classmates and friends have moved on, so dom keeps to himself -spending time re-reading books he liked as a kid, drawing, working out, drawing, binge watching the latest netflix original, drawing, playing video games or drawing.

he's a little bit closed off because he's been burned before, but he has his handful of his people who he'd protect with his life...and once you get to know him, the prickly outer shell fades into a pretty funny -albeit sarcastic- artist.

plots n' stuff.

would love to have some repeat clients -or even a muse- who likes to come into the shop. maybe they're working on a big piece like a sleeve or something? or just someone who has a small tattoo addiction and keeps coming in to offer up whatever spare bit of skin they've got!

dom's not living at home so i could see him having 1-2 roommates to cut down on costs, potentially?

he's been around town forever so old high school friends (...or enemies) could be fun, especially if they're newly back to town

i need him to have a couple of ride or die friends who are more like family, truthfully. we all need those types of people.

i love the dynamics involved in like ex-partner plots so give me some of those?

he's the oldest of 5 siblings so either an older muse who makes him the younger brother or a younger muse he takes under his wing would be fun!

literally anything. let's plot why our muses would interact because of their jobs or just because they both live in town, the world is our oyster!

hey guys! i'm ck and i'm so excited to get to know you/your muses and write with you all! feel free to jump into my dm's and we can plot something out!

[vargaslovinghours]

Requestober 2023: Vargas Edition

The playlist has returned for this year! There will be a few in between, but it should be updating at least once a week on either Wednesday or Friday or both - keep an eye out for your req(s)!

I considered a couple different lines for day 1 - there are just so many Narrator lines that could work for Scriabin! Any of the many times where the Narrator is being sadistic, it all just works. Plus, it’s fun to imagine Scriabin trapping Edgar in the same way, just shoops a wall right into his path haha

But in the end I went for one of the tags I left myself on the original TSP/Vargas crossover doodles, it does still live in my head rent-free after all. You can see in the background that those “invisible” tears were intended from the beginning as well :3c

There’s also something funny to me about Scriabin using the word “rubbish” haha ♪ How posh

Edgar, as usual, getting blame for something that was definitely his Narrator, I mean Scriabin’s fault lol

I really wasn’t sure what to do with day 2 at first - I’m too scared to watch any of the SAWs, or look them up on YouTube >~< I tried finding transcripts with stage direction or people describing them in text online but I couldn’t really find anything, I really do appreciate my friend for telling me about one haha. Even with that though, I still had to do a lot of guesswork! Something about wrists, fear, not doing well - Scriabin is very cute hiding behind Edgar but it’s still not very obvious what the theme is, huh?

I was able to find a very brief animation of I think? the trap that had been described to me but even that was a bit much for me :’D I was a very wimp that day! I didn’t even have it in me to draw the trap itself in the sketch! There’s something a bit ominous about not being able to see into the trap completely, only the blood pooling at the bottom ♪ But I’m still happy I went with what I did in the end, though I did have to change Scriabin’s dialogue from fear to accusation - though that tracks for him haha

Day 3 was silly and therefore easy to whip up haha ♪ The angst is done, the blood is done, this leaves only kisses! Any opportunity to use my pencils to make kiss-marks, I will take lol. Clearly this is what the prompt was pointing at! Obviously! Lol

If you look, Jake’s lips are painted pink and Scriabin’s red, and they have each other’s lipstick marks on their faces lol - I am attention to detail when it comes to kisses ♪

I did still end up making an alt even after pretty much decided on the first one, it’s still fun to think about Scriabin interacting with Jake before he gets his own body ♫ He’s so smug lol, at least they’re easy to cover! Ish! Mostly! Probably itch tho lol

Day 5, yaaay some Biblical Edgar <3 I have been out of practice drawing wings lately so they’re basically just Big Shapes here lol, it’s all about blocking out the space they’ll take for when it’s cleaned! I am quite happy with how he turned out digitally, his cute face ♥

Day 7 got a couple passes as well before settling! It’s a theme lol, though there were both kidverse! The prompt mentioned “brothers” but that doesn’t necessarily mean when they were kids - they can be silly and sibling-like even After, they have the range. Still, Edgar pushing him on the swing as a kid was a cute idea so I’m glad I at least scratched it down haha. Why’s he so heavy? He’s dense ♪

The alt was the winner tho! I love how much like a bug Scriabin looks here haha, how could he have possibly seen this coming??

Day 8′s sketch was done outside in the dark actually, stargazing very appropriate!  You can kinda see me go back and forth on their clothes in the moment lol, Edgar’s striped shirt visible on his upper arms underneath his long sleeves and I still ended up going with a scarf! I also planned to make their breath clouds but I forgot them in the end, that background took up a lot of my focus lol. Also how come Edgar’s feet turned out better here than in the final version >:P

Gaster! A warmup for Day 9 since it’s been a bit since I’ve drawn him, especially with the cracks in his face! Scriabin is annoying his offscreen so it still totally counts as being Vargas-themed lol

Their poses were a bit subdued initially so I knew I wanted to try again, but at the same time there are a lot of elements here that I liked! Especially their hands, Gaster holding his hands in fists at his sides rather than speaking to Scriabin through sign language, and Scriabin with his flourish-opened palm, inviting ♪

Actual pose skeletons lol, though Gaster’s was a bit top-heavy. It all worked out in the end at least :)

Day 11 was a very fun concept! Turning Scriabin into an Enderman was an especially fun idea if Edgar could figure/find out that he could hide from him using a pumpkin mask, though I’m sure that would make Scriabin mad as well once he found him haha. Just sneeaaak quietly behind him, he’ll never know! Also the pumpkin having Edgar’s glasses, goatee, and scars carved into it haha <3

All the same, I’m glad I went with what I did - Scriabin’s pose is so much more dynamic! Very fun! His hands and his legs, and the way his coat flares out! Plus putting his Ender teeth on display was a lot of fun haha ♪ Poor Edgar can’t catch a break no matter what world he’s in, at least I didn’t actually turn him into a sheep lol

Day 12, yaaaay I finally got to Uncle Jake! So nervous <3 Don’t break the baby, don’t hurt him don’t move too much ahhh! Haha, terribly cute ♥ I do still really love how confident Edgar is here - he’s usually so nervous around Jake, but oh how the tables! Dadgar with a support system <3 His FWB comes to say hi to his son, it’s very wholesome hehe ♪

Day 13 was actually drawn way of out of order, between several of the later days and even day 12 I think lol, it’s so hard to convince my brain to listen to new music haha. It was quite a lot of fun making the text not look like it’s “spoken,” outside of a text bubble hehe, I don’t do that too often! And of course still deeply inspired by his palette challenge, it is too pretty to not pull from every not and again <3

Honestly I initially had no ideas for day 14, and yet this was still the only sketch I ended up with! My earworm at the time came in clutch, honestly do listen to Everything In You it’s such pretty yearning starcrossed song ah <3 All these musical doodles haha ♪ Sweetness sweetness <3

And of course when they’re that close there has to be a kiss! Scriabin is surprised, but how much? :3c Edgar giving Scriabin kisses of his own accord 💖 That theme never really left me either hehe

Day 27, the last Vargas day! Had to get in one Snake Charmer before the end huh haha ♪ It’s too bad my Ladyverse!Naga idea was a bit too long or I would’ve done that, but I’ll never turn down the potential for pretty clothes! And spiders for that matter haha, I went with the Acanthoscurria Geniculata - Brazilian Whiteknee again :) As much as I love Scriabin as a Bold Jumper, tarantulas just have such gorgeous proportions! And of course, I always enjoy drawing Lady!Scriabin, so it was doubly fun to draw her as a spider :)

That’s all of this year’s Vargas sketches! A fun bunch! And it was fun to mix a few others in as well :D