#i really wish i hadnt lost my book

[sagittarithealastorsimp]

okay, i need to spit this out to someone

and i refuse to make a youtube video for it so im just gonna write a whole essay to my small amount of tumblr followers on prince arctic and also im waiting for my friend to wake up so i need to do something RIGHT NOW so uh

lets start with the reasons that could've played a part in how he acted

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀

so, arctic's family wasnt that great, we've all gathered that. his mother was just horrid honestly, and we have no idea how his father was (or if he even had one). diamond could've been better, and im sure the way she treated him and the things she expected of him were a definite cause, albeit not a full one. another cause was definitely his animus magic, but also cant really be the main cause, even though it was probably a major one. (heres a brief note on animus magic, atleast, my theory on it that is- animus magic isnt the full cause of dragons going insane, its how they view it, use it,how often they use it, and other things going on in their life. lets say we have an animus dragon, a funky little sandwing that for the purposes of this sidenote, will be called funkmaster. funkmaster isnt too concerned about their soul, has been through alot, and uses his magic to cause suffering to small animals quite frequently. funkmaster has gone insane because he uses his magic poorly, isnt concerned about his soul, and uses his magic to be a bastard. funkmaster is the negative result of animus magic. whereas, lets say we have a cute little adorable seawing named tappytoes. tappytoes cares about his soul, has still been through some stuff, but has a positive outlook still, and uses his magic only when he needs to, and only for good things. tappytoes is not a maniac. sidenote over) i do genuinely believe that yes, he did at one point love his family (even darkstalker, albeit not as long as the others), and he did genuinely wish he was a better father, but he had been too far gone for that to have lasted long.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩

now, while it is sort of difficult to figure out where everything started to go down hill, i do believe it was shortly after darkstalker and whiteout were hatched. he knew darkstalker had inheritted his animus magic, and assuming he knew that nightwings have powers from being born under the full moons, he also knew of the power he possessed. now, this wasnt the breaking point entirely. arctic now had the pressure of being a father, (which, yk, who knows if he even got to know his) and had probably used his animus magic a few times after foeslayer got him out of the ice kingdom. i have no concrete idea on what these times could've been, but possibly some things for foeslayer. even if they werent horrid things, and he cared about his soul, other factors also played into the animus causes of the insanity. by this time it was already too late, and he just snapped. he fully had lost himself from that point forward, and there was no going back anymore. the only point where i really think there was maybe a chance he hadnt completely gone over the fence was when he was bringing whiteout to the ice kingdom to get accepted back into their society and to get foeslayer back (i think?? its been a while since my last reread, i had to stop myself from rereading it because it just made me sad), which mayyy have been him just wanting to go back to how everything was before he had a family but could have also just been him wanting foeslayer back because he did actually still love her. anywho these are just my thoughts, there are probably a bunch of inaccuracies, im tired, and i dont feel like rereading the entire book just to make a tumblr post, have fun and dont die

[spookfished]

big media roundup (july edition)

hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.

books:

vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend

the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")

assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(

you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png

movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T

past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head

nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it

the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍

video games:

super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.

visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao

nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life

The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3

crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this

breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..

damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women

mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas

how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍

ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!

oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go

blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^

still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3

liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one

farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol

chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji

skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world

no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term

this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!

[killeriknik]

Killer Fish #1:

2000s Christian Metal

cleaning out some drawers, i rediscovered this album today. unfortunately, the cd and front cover have been lost somewhere in my house (hopefully). but it reminded me of a subgenre, or really a movement, that i hadnt considered fully before.

i found this cd in the basement of an odd store, half of which is a Moon Pie General Store, where you could find anything moonpie related as well as typical tourist junk. however, the other part of this business is a christian book store. on the main floor they sold new books. past the selections of bibles and christian novels/self help/anything, past the surprisingly funny secular selections of diary of a wimpy kid and Five Nights at Freddys novels, and past the section of childrens entertainment, there is a GIGANTIC basement.

scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

im not sure where the basement items they sold at a discounted price came from. it was like flea market levels of unsold stock. im talkin odd sh*t. at points they had 18+ erotica from the 90s, some Star Wars Episode 1 merch i regret not buying, 14 billion copies of a political hate book about president Obama, and of course a shit ton of cds. ive found suprisingly obscure and amazing books there, but thats not what this is about.

sometime maybe 2020-2021 i found this cd for 3 bucks. being an edgy teen with a hatred of Christianity, i was enthralled to find such a cd with the album name "buried alive." at a time in my life where i had limited to no internet access but blossoming music taste (and an impressive cd collection), I listened to this shit SO MUCH. heres one of my favs.

(sorry, wish i could find a better site to link their music, but the only site they seemed to upload to was myspace, and for some reason the site is broken, idk im not familiar with myspace)

The band Inhale Exhale was a semi popular american metal(core) group, hailing from Ohio. and like so many independent rock bands with the best music youve ever heard, they promptly disbanded with only a few albums under their belt.

R.I.P inhale exhale, 2005 - 2013.

its that yummy yummy mix of metal, emo, melodic hardcore, and probably countless other labels (can you tell i have a distaste for genres?) that rocked the scene in the 2000s to early 2010s, around a time when the Jesus Freak Movement had revived and infused its 70s hippie values into the grungey, edgy and dark undertones of the late 90s-00s, delivering the gospel with a unabashed punch. truly of another era, an era i wish i had experienced. i think this was the first "metal" music i ever listened to on my own, but i found out just today that they were in fact a christian metal band.

this year ive been really into metal related music. but ive also been really into the concept of christianity. my family, really my entire community ive been raised in is "christian". going to "christian" schools, having only christian "friends", adult role models who were "christian", its always been about salvation and damnation. as i became a teenager, i evolved into a creature who despised this religion, for many good reasons im sure ill talk on another time, but also pure teenage rebellion. studying the bible this year (as a part of my last year in.. you guessed it... a christian school) has been oddly eye-opening. maybe ive matured since i last cracked open the holy bibbel. but ive found myself debating the idea of it. at its core, it seems to my mind to be the best sounding religion out there. what i love most is the rich story and the themes of love, redemption, brokenness, true evil and true good; they resonate with me.

christian metal really hits the spot. the themes i have deep history with, pared with the aggression and beauty of the screams and rage filled melodic guitar riffs, as well as my personally over powering, nostalgic/anmoiac obsession for the 00s and early 10s creates a great mix. its a movement of music i wish i could be present in.

and why did christian metalcore decline in popularity into the 10s and 20s? im sure theres not an easy answer. i mean, look at popular christian music and culture today. its

so.

BLAND.

so void of life and culture, void of our beautiful human qualities. they speak the same, often hateful, script; they water down the thought provoking concepts and stories of their religion, and they try to remove what they think isnt acceptable. a lot of these christian metalcore groups have abandoned their roots, stating their disagreements with Christianity, which of course is valid.

hey, im still not sold on christianity, im still learning. everyone has their own free will to find what idealogies or lack thereof to believe in. so i mean no hate

i do feel though, in certain circumstances perhaps, this says something disturbing abt modern christianity. its mindnumbing. its boring. its really sad and honestly, with how perfected it appears to be, its f*cking ugly.

it also seems to connect with the way life today just dosent hit like it used to, and i know im not alone in my age group thinking this. there seems to be a blandness encroaching on our art and lives today. in the music, films, internet; a corporatization and general simplification of our art has been slowly killing us.

i long for a time when christians could death growl about god. but honestly, this can be done today if we really try. fuck modern christianity, fuck modernism in general; this isnt just for the christians. go nuts. scream, riot, portray your truths how you want to, dont follow some guideline.

i might have gotten out of hand with this post, i dont want to get to philosophical here. i guess thats what this blog is for though. christian metalcore is really cool tho, check it out. you might be surprised how many popular metal bands from that era had ties to christianity. ill include some recommendations, or you can search it out yourself.

have a punk ass day,

-nikki

(yeah i decided to use my current name, fuck it)

some bands:

 A Plea For Purging.

Shiver.

Heart of a Child.

The Fall.

Malevolence.

Underoath.

Norma Jean.

For Today.

Impending Doom.

Wolves At The Gate.

Phinehas.

Midst of Lions.

Demon Hunter.

killer fish.

[fenrhi]

On the meaning of hand-holding in Gankutsuou ep15

One of the most interesting things in Gankutsuou is how the writers mixed a futuristic setting with 1700-1800 french nobility��s customs and etiquette

So we have a story taking place in Paris, 5050, but people still write letters and have duels

Now I’m sure this is not what the writers intended but the hand-holding scene in ep15 reminded me of Don Juan

Specifically, the scene where he meets up with his debt collector, Mr Dimanche

Don Juan being Don Juan, he obviously doesn’t want to pay his debts, and tries to change the topic of the conversation. First, he asks Mr Dimanche how his family is doing. Then, he asks him to touch his hand

I don’t have the book on me but from what I remember from the editor’s notes, if you were a man and you touched another man’s hand, it was a huge deal. It was a way to strengthen/reaffirm your friendship.

Did Albert know about this tradition? Or did he interpret it as a romantic gesture? There’s no way to tell. But we do know something:

He was really flattered

Whether he knew about this tradition or not, the following scenes are still heartbreaking. As he watch the Count walking away from him, he can only shout ‘Count! I thought we would only trust each other from now on!’

[shower-phantom-ideas]

As a child little William Lancer was made fun of for having a “lame” or “boring” name. So he set off to prove to his classmates that William was a cool and famous name! This of course leads to him finding William Shakespeare and discovering how famous he was. Which did impress his friends to the max!

As a child he became fixated on learning about Shakespeare. He was a little fact spot of anything and everything he as a child could know about the man. Which eventually lead to him actually reading the works and not just w fun facts about the man. This lead to him reading more from that era. He was obsessed. His parents greatly encouraged this too since it was such a brilliant topic for a child to like. As a child always seeking out his parents attention and approval this just fuelled his passion even more. Reading was the best thing in the world to him and learning about books and their authors breathed life into the boy.

His tenth grade (i think its actually 11 in other countries) English teacher had been named William as well. They had taught him his love of English. And his love of learning. William Henthorne had a real love for teaching. He was strict but truly wanted his students to succeed so he went out of his way to help them outside of class. Mostly teaching his lesson of the day again but with more questions during his planning period (in my school teachers had a period, 1/4 of the school day, where the didnt have a class) so students could come back and have a second go at the material during their lunch break. Mr.Henthorne showed him the joys of learning that he wished to show others. He wanted everyone to know how great it felt to learn something from someone wo really cared.

When he finally got his degree and became a teacher his very first class had a William in it. A young freshman names William Starnes. The boy hated his name and went by Bill. Of we couldt have that. William Lancer made it his goal to get this child to see the greatness that the name William held. He showed the boy the wonders of Shakespeare. He was a fresh teacher who hadnt had the life sucked out of him by the horrible pay and treatment yet so he was a wonderful teacher. And finally it all paid off when at the end of the first semester (half the school year) young Mr. Starnes asked if he could speak to him after class. Of course Lancer had no way to know what this chat was going to be about but he held his hopes high that it would be another victory for the name William. He was right but also still lost his personal challenge to make Bill want to use his given name. Young Spencer said that they dont hate the name William any more but it just wasnt for them. OH! “Them” oh well Lancer could easily accept a loss here. If they wanted a more neutral name than William to feel comfortable then who was he to deny them that. In the end all that mattered is that the child was passing his class and was feeling comfortable enough to share with him something so personal. Lancer swelled with pride knowing that while he failed to get his student to use their given name William but succeeded in making them not feel so alone and to be more comfortable with themselves. And really that was much better than anything else. Even if William is the superior name of all names.

[bi-robins-club]

jason had just settled onto his couch with a jane austen novel and his favourite peach iced tea when damian crept in through his window. he sighed internally and decided to simply ignore him. he had told damian to use the front door (nevermind the fact that jason rarely used the door) and more importantly? he was freaking comfortable. after a few minutes as jason flipped idly through the book, damian cleared his throat. jason sighed again, outwardly this time and reluctantly dragged his eyes up to his youngest brother. baby bat was shivering slightly from the rain outside and jason simply rasied an eyebrow as he sipped at his tea. scowling, dami stomped over to jasons bathroom to dry off. he rolled his eyes. how dramatic. damian was acting like he sentenced titus and alfred the cat to their deaths instead of how he was actually saving jason from deep cleaning his rain soaked carpet. (he was still going to deep clean the carpet the next time he tidied up but still)

when damian stalked back into the room, looking less like a wet, angry kitten and more like a dry, angry kitten, jason titled his head back and established eye contact.

"so what brings you over to my neck of the woods, demon spawn?"

instead of snapping back like jason expected, damian simply stood there looking extremely uncomfortable. he shuffled his feet, opened his mouth then closed it and sat next to jason on the couch he splurged way too much on.

"i don't know how to tell you this" dami began, hesitant "but i believe harper is experiencing thoughts of suicide"

jason jerked up, almost knocking over his tea (and what a damn waste that would be) before fixing damian with a look. he hadnt noticed anything different in roy lately but he knew more than anyone that depression acted strangely and was hard to pinpoint. his mind raced with thoughts of why roy might be suddenly suicidal, from a sudden relapse to not getting a happy meal toy included in his 3.99 box of clogged arteries. "why do you say that, damian?"

"i have been keeping an eye on his health since he became a close confidant to you and last night he said something worrying that i am still not able to parse the meaning of" jason smiled lightly at that, in damian speak he was basically declaring that he cared for roy- if for nothing else than for how happy he made jason. still he shook it off and asked what roy had said that was worrying dami.

"he was patrolling last night" jason knew that. roy had been picking up his patrols since jason had a nasty leg wound. it was the reason he wasn't out tonight. "and he was on the phone with an unknown person, though i am inclined to believe it was either Starfire or Canary" okay, still not surprising "and then he said that the only place he could die happy was between your thighs" oh hello blue screen. yes jasons mind was in the middle of rebooting but could you hurry it along? he almost missed what damian said next. "not only does he wish for death upon himself, he wishes for you to give it to him!"

"damian" jason managed, frantically trying to figure out a way to explain to his baby brother without including his sex life. "uhh its just an expression"

damians face brightened up slightly. "really? he does not wish to smother himself between your thighs?"

"yeah, its like...like just a way to say... mind your business? mmhmm" he struggled to get out, pulling an explanation out of his ass.

"you have told father to mind his business a thousand times but i dont recal you ever using that one. is it new?"

oh god. jason would rather die again than continue this conversation.

"uhh its only used if you're close to someone" jason didnt know what he didnt wrong but dami's eyes widened in clear worry. "i thought you and father were reconnecting? has something happened? are you fighting again?"

well shit. jason had not thought this one through. fuck roy and fuck his mile wide kink that centered around jasons thighs. he was going to kill him. and he wouldnt even use his thighs. "oh nonono dami we're fine, just not as close as me and roy" he hedged, pleading to gods he didnt believe in to stop this conversation with whatever means necessary. strike him dead if need be but *please*. damians eyes narrowed "and exactly how close are you with harper, jason?" jason stared in disbelief. how had his nice relaxing evening turned into such a shitshow? damian was fine with roy when he and jason were just friends but now that he was (correctly) assuming a relationship, his over protective instincts were kicking in? christ. he remembered how when dick and babs finally started dating (again), damian seemingly lost all respect for her and called her an evil harlot more than once.

thankfully he was saved by answering in the form of the best person jason had ever met aka duke thomas. he announced his presence by awkwardly coughing. jason met his dark eyes and mouthed 'help me' over damians head. duke smiled as if it was getting pulled out of him by torture but nodded.

"hey dames, dick wanted you to join him by the docks when you finished up here" damian scowled "cant you see i am clearly not finished yet"

"hah, well dick was facing up against scarecrow and i think he needed some back up but you know him"

"yes, he wont admit he needs help when he very clearly does" damian sighed "very well, ill go check on dick. you stay and question jason. " and with that damian clambered out the window and after he disappeared from sight, jason threw his head back to stare at his ceiling and groaned. duke laughed at him.

"hey daisy duke?" duke grumbled at the nickname and jason cracked a smile "how did you know i needed back up?" duke winced and ran a hand over his dreads. he made a face and jasons soul was slowly draining out of his body. "oh haha funny story" duke rocked back on his feet and faked laughed "damians com was still connected to the channel" jason froze.

"who was on the channel oh my god" duke smiled thinly and his hand paused on his head. "other than me? everyone." jason buried his head in his hands and let out a high pitched whine. duke consolingly rubbed his shoulder. this is why jason loved him. he hadn't even laughed at jason like tim, dick or steph would or started plotting death like damian started to. he and cass would just offer support. jasons favorite brother and sister right here folks. duke sat down beside him

"listen. i know what it's like to be outed when youre not ready and when i heard damian grilling you about roy, i thought i would help" jason turned and stared at his brother. duke was staring at his hands and avoiding eye contact. "i got caught with a boy when i was 15 in high school. its pretty shitty to be gay and poor in a homophobic neighbourhood but its worse to be gay, poor and black." jason knocked shoulders with him. "if you tell me the name of whatever asshat outed you, I'll shoot him for you." duke let out a waterly laugh. "they kept bullying me for being gay but if they even listened, they would have realised that im pan" he joked "its a completely different thing after all". jason snorted

"that was horrible"

duke winced "yeah, it was wasnt it. im bad at this" it was jasons turn to avoid eye contact now.

"talia once caught me with a league operative. a male operative. i was so paranoid for days until i caught shiva leaving her rooms. i got the courage to tell her i was bi and she just patted my cheek and asked how my training was going."

duke huffed out a laugh. "bruce gives you shit but i for one think your lesbians moms are cool"

jason laughed with him "just wait until you meet Ducra. shes a badass"

"ducra?" he questioned with a weird look. "how many moms do you actually have? i knew about diana and your assassin moms but thats a new name" jason burst into laughter at the expression on dukes face. "its not fair man. steph is the only other one with a mom and you have four! you need to share" jason choked on his laughter and shoved duke.

"first of all, its only *three*. ducra is like my badass abuela"

"dont you already have a badass grandma? have you forgotten about Ma Gunn? she threatened to shoot bruce in the dick last week!"

"yes well excuse you i need strong female role models in my life, fuck you" the two of them continued to joke around for a little while longer before jason caught a flash of black kelvar outside his window and sighed. duke followed his eyes and smiled before patting jasons shoulder and pushing off. "have fun with the one strong male role model in your life. im going to see if cass needs help" both of them knew that cass wouldn't need help but jason accepted the excuse for what it was. "me and steph are still coming over to study tomorrow. college is kicking my ass and i need you to explain this English assignment to me"

jason scoffed "im not writing your essay for you"

"eh worth a try. bye jace" duke gave a two fingered salute and slipped out the window. jason took the brief reprieve to sip his tea and mourned when he discovered the ice had melted and watered down the peach taste. for the third time that night, someone crept into his window. oh well. third times the charm right? jason wasn't going to acknowledge bruce until he said something himself. it was a repeat of damian. jasom read his book as it got increasingly uncomfortable.

"jason."

"bruce" jason drawled, not lifting his eyes from his book. bruce grunted like the neanderthal he was and jason finally huffed out a heaving breath before marking his page and looking up. bruce looked supremely uncomfortable. actually his face looked exceedingly neutral but jason knew how to read bruce and that was the brow furrow of how do i deal with jason without fucking it up? jason was well famailairsed with that one.

"you know i love you" jasons own eyebrows rose. bruce only said 'i love you' like four times a year tops. and he usually never wasted it on jason. bruce deflated at whatever face jason must have made. goddamn it. this was why jason always fought with bruce with his helmet on, he couldnt control his facial expressions for shit. "no you dont know that." bruce smiled thinly and to jasons suprise, quickly crossed the room and knelt, placing his hands on jasons shoulders.

"even if you dont believe it, and its my own fault that you do and i hate that i ever caused you to even doubt my love for you, i swear that i do, jay lad" jason was completely frozen. he had expected bruce to yell at him for letting roy go unchecked on patrol last night and how irresponsible he was yada yada, not this declaration of feelings that he had no clue how to deal with. he couldnt remember the last time bruce called him that. it had to have been when he was still in those scaly green panties and pixie boots. and not the adult verison that jason picked up from a halloween store on a whim just to see roys eyes.

bruce sighed and drew jason into a hug. when bruces shoulder started getting wet, jason was horrified to realise he was crying. "i wanted you to know that i wouldnt love you any less for loving a man. but you have to know that i love you in the first place for that to happen" bruce said self deprecating.

"shut the fuck up" jason said sniffling and gripping his dads back. "i hate you"

bruce laughed softly at him before pressing a kiss to the side of jasons head. "i want you to know that i expect roy-and you- over at dinner on sunday. i need to meet the man that stole my babys heart" he murmured. jason laughed wetly "youve already met roy, you just want to con me into actually coming to family dinner"

bruce smiled "that was before i knew you two were dating. roy needs to know what hes getting into" jason leaned back enough to stare into bruces eyes and weakly punched him in the chest "dont threaten my boyfriend. he refused to look at me for two weeks after t was done with him" bruce sighed longingly "its times like this when i remember what caused me to love talia in the first place."

"bruce!" the aforementioned man laughed and hugged jason tightly before stepping back a few steps. "Sunday dinner. you and roy. 8 pm." on a whim jason reached out and snagged bruces hand. "hey" he started, swallowing "you wanna stay for a while? we could watch a movie or something" bruces eyes softened and he nodded. "let me change out of the suit."

and if roy had crept in after patrol only to see jason napping on his dads chest to a shitty action movie playing in the background and took several pictures, well that bruces fault for not waking up when roy stumbled it. (nevermind the fact that bruce had every single one of those pictures saved on his phone) (nevermind the fact that after roy put his phone away, he was greeted to the sight of batman glaring at him as he twisted a batarang around his fingers. it was sorta ruined by the fact that jasons curls was hiding the lower half of his face but roy was still adequately terrified)

[kanohivolitakk]

Have you done Krekka for the ask game? I know you're a huge Nidhiki fan, curious if you have any thoughts on his partner?

I haven't gotten Krekka yet actually. So far I only done Toa Ignika and Axonn for the Bionicle ask game (which Im still accepting). That being said great choice. Krekka isn't necessarily a big favorite of mine (partially because I'm not that fond of the "dumb brute" archetype barring a few exceptions), but I have to admit I do have a soft spot for the big guy. Krekka is a relatively simple character when it comes to characterization/backstory/role in the story (especially when compared to Nidhiki), but that doesn't mean I don't have any "deeper" thoughts regarding him or that there isnt stuff worth discussing.

Anyways some thoughts/headcanons/general musings:

This is a weird thing to start with but... Krekka is kinda adorable for me. I think its kinda this ...overgrown puppy (bulldog??) vibe due to his loyalty and dumbness. I admit BOADH is a big reason for me feeling this way since it gave him a few moments that made me go "AWWW he's so cute". Just..love his loyalty so much.

His undying loyalty makes him stand out for me across the other dark hunters. While many dark hunters we ha e are opportunistic and schemy, Krekka is just...very loyal. Maybe too much so. But I love that he is loyal. Feels refreshing tbh.

And now I cant help but feel that TSO is just "guys stupid but at least he wont double cross me and is easy to keep in check" when it comes to him.

Not to go woobifying villains but I genuinely dont think the guys that bad. Hes just really stupid, overly loyal and doing his job. Its kinda like w Lariska being a decent person despite being a knife happy murder girl although to a much lesser extent since guys a literalminded fool and also just smashy boy.

I do like his backstory of being a former guard who lost his job and started wreck havoc until one day a dark hunter found and hired him. It isnt anything too complex but it works well for his character and explains why he is so loyal to Dark Hunters. It also helps bringing a bit more light to his homeland and I love when we get more info of places through character backstories, makes the world feel more real that way.

Also can Gorast please stop hurting charaxters I like. This is the reason shes my least favorite character in the 2001-2008 storyline that isnt just a glorified extra or a plot device.

When it comes to Krekka, one scene I always think of when I think of him is in BOADH where he temporarily forgot to fly and Nidhiki was just "WAIT A MOMENT LARISKA TOLD ME YOU CAN FLY????" and Krekka just goes "whoops I forgot". That was adorable honestly. You dumb idiot, forgot you could fly.

Also, I know he's kinda "the idiot character", and while I am NOT saying he isn't, I do think its worth pointing out that he's basically literal minded. In BOADH (again) when Nidhiki tried to do that training scenario Krekka basically was like "wait I’m here, there’s nothing there why should I move there". This is

Another thing I really like about Krekka is that how, despite being an absolute idiot and tool, he still is willing to sometimes not take Nidhikis bullshit, see preventing him from getting the Zamor launchers (geez BOADH did a lot for this guys characterization lmao)

I sometimes call him truck boy because his name is one letter off my languages word for truck.

Also unless canon/word of Greg says otherwise I don't think every member of his species is as stupid as him. Like possibly on similar level but still.

It is made pretty clear that Nidhiki couldn't stand Krekka at all, but I do genuinely wonder how Krekka feels about Nidhiki. Based on the little we have I'd say he liked him to some extent or at the very least, didn't hate him to the same degree. I also have to wonder how aware he was about Nidhikis haterd towards him.

I also love the idea that when Nidhiki was mutated, Krekka just...wasnt afraid of him at slightest, no fear in this dumb boy. (I also like the idea he didnt recognize him at first and Nidhiki just, had to explain to his thick skull who he was. It took a while but eventually he got it.)

On a related note, I find it interesting how the LOMN website describes him working with Nidhiki because guy knows where to get the good jobs or something rather than being his goverment (read TSO) assigned partner The way the twos relationship were described makes it feel that by this point the staff hadnt figured out what they wanted to do with Dark Hunters , or if it even was an organization or just these two tools.

Its really interesting for me how Krekkas characterization not only varies between the books/comics (where hes more intimidating and him being a simpleton isnt as pronounced) and the movie (where hes more of a dumbass) but also how his characterization evolved. Like, his loyalty wasn't that pronounced trait but now I feel its just as important part of him as him being a dumbass (which is to say, very interesting)

I remember how the aftoermentoined Metru Nui movie website described that Krekka hated toa to the point wouldve hunted them for free if Nidhiki didnt make sure the two would get paid. I feel this is somewhat early installment weirdness as it isnt mentioned anywhere else but at the same time Krekka being willing to fight without payment sounds 1000% in character if you ask me

Something I have been confused over: when exactly was Krekka recruited to the dark hunters??? The timeline is very vague about this and I wish we knew.

It's been AGES since I watched my home countrys dub of LOMN but what I recall I really liked Krekka's voice in that dub. He sounded more badass and I loved it, the VA had a pretty unique sound. Sadly dont think there is any clips of the LOMN dub, which is a shame. UPDATE: I rewatched the dub and I love the voice itself but felt the voice direction made him sound kinda inconsistent

This is more a "Nidhiki and Krekka related thought" rather than just Krekka related but one thing I really like about Krekka and Nidhiki is that how they are like a more serious and competent take of "those two evil henchmen with contrasting personalities" trope. Often these types of villains are rather goofy, but these two could be rather dangerous as well and I really like that. I also like their dynamic of just doing Nidhiki being done with Krekkas bullshit. One of the main reasons I wish LOMN was a miniseries rather than a movie is because I really wanted more screentime with the two.

On a related note can I JUST SAY I LOVE the way the two compliment/pararell each other. From design (Krekka being bulky mostly blue colored, Nidhiki being slender and monstrous, mostly green colored) to personality (Krekka being foolish and simpleminded but loyal Nidhiki being cunning and ambitious but treacherous) to powersets (Krekka being strong physical attacker, Nidhiki being weaker(??) but faster and more special attacker).Heck, even their backstories have similarities as they both lost their orginal purpose in one way or another and didnt have anywhere to go but Dark Hunters (the main difference being that Nidhiki inflicted his fate upon himself by betraying the toa while Krekka didnt really do anything iirc)

Now for something crossovery, Krekkas and Nidhikis dynamic reminds me a lot of Kronk and Yzma from Emperors New Groove. Yes I have drawn a parody of the "pull the lever kronk" meme, yes I intend to make more screencap redraws. They also remind me a lot of Mummymon and Archenemon from Digimon 02, partially due to the dynamic (smug spider that tries to be cunning and intimidating but gets outclassed by most other villains in that + loyal blue dumb boy) partially due to their ultimate fate being rather similar.

I don't know how familiar you are with the franchise, but Krekka reminds me a fair bit of Gamel, one of the four villain generals in Kamen Rider OOOs, mainly because "the dumb brute major villain that's kinda cuteish and loyal a f while everyone else is an asshole".

I remember reading a p good oneshot fic that was just him accidentally killing a civilian when all he wanted was a hug and...honestly that is p much what I imagine him being like. Guy may be strong, reckless and a fool but like I said I dont think hes all that bad and just a puppy. An overgrown, moronic puppy but a puppy nontheless

For AUs, I remember I have thought once of "What if Krekka survived but Nidhiki died" and just ...guy wouldve been very lost and confused and unsure what to do tbh. He would most likely returned to Dark Hunters but Mata Nui knows how say TSO wouldve felt about that. Its not too complex au yet but I am thinking of developing it further one day.

Thank you for asking.

Sorry this took longer than expected. I had too many thoughts and half of them were deleted so. I hope its worth the wait tho. I do have a lot of Krekka thoughts and tbh wasnt sure if I was even able to get them all here.

(I am still doing the ask game so if anyone wants to send me a bonkle I will try to give thoughts, meta and headcanons on them)

[adramaticbeauty]

Dragons and Fireflies

Waitttt! If you havent read the previous chapters I wouldnt advise reading this. Here's the link for the rest of the chapters if you need to go back. https://my.w.tt/gYNayRx9rcb

Since the ones on my tumblr...are forever lost now😔 Anyway those who read it please enjoy!

Chapter 7: Buried Memories

"Juvia is so sorry, Anna~sama. She never thought things would turn out so...complicated."

All Anna could do was carress her temples in order to calm herself down. After all she was getting older, and she couldn't let such things stress her out anymore. Unless she wanted an early grave dug of course.

" It's quite alright Juvia. It isnt as big of a deal as it seems."

Juvia couldnt help but breathe a sigh of relief at her reassuring comment. She would never forgive herself if she ever endangered the bands success with her selfishness.

"Oh thank goodness-"

"If you clean up the mess you made."

Juvia's heart stopped as she held her breath. As she took in her words silently, a million questions popped into her head. That she was too afraid to hear the answer to. What on earth did she mean by that? And the bigger question was how could she possibly even fix this mess? Anna's eyes softened as she met Juvia's worried ones.

"We need to figure out how the public would take this whole misunderstanding first and then address the situation publicly. Thats the smartest thing to do at this moment. Until then I will discuss the predicament with the Dragonflies manager."

As Juvia listened for the click of her door, she could finally breathe a sigh of relief. She had known when she had seen the photo in the paper, things would get bad. But she never thought this bad. And now the world was convinced Gray Fullbuster from the popular band 'Dragonflies' was her secret lover.

It was even worse they were competitors, both fighting for the top spot of best band. Why did she do it? Get involved with Gray Fullbuster? Her reasons were something personal to her, close to her heart that was from the past that she so desired to forget. It wasnt his looks or anything, although she couldnt deny his attractiveness.

She knew the rumors were true, after all she had seen for her own eyes the damage he could do to a woman. And she wouldnt be one of those who was affected by his charms. She refused to. She was the one who was going to teach him how women were to be treated, and not as playthings.

She was going to do it...for her. But she messed things up because of her anger, and now look at what happened. Her head was pounding with past emotions steadily creeping back from their place pushed deep down in her heart. It made her clench her fists in irritation and helplessness. Maybe she hadnt changed from all those years ago. The nightmares also flooded back to her, making her freeze in her own body. She shook in frustration with herself.

Did she even change at all? No, she wasnt that naive girl from years ago anymore, and she would never be again. Too much had happened for that. She never thought this would go so far, and affect her friends though. Her bandmates meant the world to her, and she would never hurt them purposely. After all, they saved her from her wretched life, after she had fallen so deep into despair. Gajeel...

She felt tears well up in her eyes before she couldnt help but scowl at her emotions getting the best of her once again. She chuckled dryly. She never was one for hiding her emotions, and her faces always told the world how she felt. She despised that with her entire being.

Although with Gray, it was easy to hide them, and she doubted he cared about them anyway. Thats why he was so easy to manipulate at the time. Its not like Juvia wasnt worried about her image at all. In fact it was probably tainted just by even being seen with that womanizer.

Her image in the band was supposed to be the innocent but sexy one, and men went crazy over it. Her merchandise being the most bought out in stores. She remembered when Lucy made a fuss about it, chastising Anna of giving her the wrong image for the band

And Juvia couldn't help but muffle her laughs with her hand in the background.

Her heart warmed at the memory and it made her clutch at her heart thinking of losing that small happiness. They were just taking off and already making merchandise, because Anna was sure that they would become a success fast. Juvia couldnt help but wonder that maybe Anna had made the wrong choice letting her into Fireflies.

"Juvia? Juvia! I have been calling your name for 5 minutes now!" She jumped at the sudden noise and swung her head up. She thought she had locked the door.

"Ahh Levy-san. What do you need?" Juvia asked exasperated.

She tried to wipe her stray tears quickly, turning her face in embarrassment. She hadn't even noticed she had cried. Levy did nothing but stare at her for a minute, before walking over and plopping down on the couch right beside her.

" You know, the girls are really not upset or anything. If thats what...you're crying about?"

Juvia looked into her cocoa irises and Levy met hers. They were full of worry.

"Honestly Juvia is fine. She just...regrets causing you guys so much trouble." Juvia tried to put on a smile but it came out as an obvious grimace.

"You really didnt. After all anyone who doesnt know that females have sexual needs too, know now."

"Huh???"

"Sexual needs? I read it in a reproduction book too. Apparently women have the most urge for it during pregnancy. Wait could this be-"

"Oh nooo Levy-san, this incident has nothing to do with...that."

"Oh. So not at all? You didnt...do anything?"

"Heavens no. Im not that kind of girl." Juvia gave her a reassuring smile, while Levy wiped her brow in relief.

"Cana lost 50 bucks today." She smiled staring a little too hard at her lap.

" What do you mean Levy-san?" She was beginning to feel suspicious.

"Well umm..."

"Levy..."

" Alright, alright! The girls made a bet about if you slept with Gray or not. Of course I bet that you didnt, but Cana got into my head and made me think things...something about girls needing devouring too. So I read up on it and..."

Juvia stared in disbelief as Levy squirmed under her gaze. A giggled echoed throughout the room, making Levy jump in surprise.

" Of course she did! Cana-san is always talking about things like that."

When Levy saw the laughter wasnt of anger or irritation, she laughed along too.

" Yeah, and Lucy chastised her for even thinking of you being so careless. She said' Juvia would only do dirty things like that when she's married.' "Levy took a breath before she continued.

" And then Cana said 'Listen hunny, if you have a good sex life, all the worries go away. Thats why I have no gray hair yet and ole Lucy does.' "Levy couldnt help but chuckle at her own impersonation of Cana.

Juvia laughed at her words. She wished she would have been there to hear the rest but she had been stuck in her room, hiding for at least two days. Levy placed a small pale hand on hers.

" Dont hide from us, ok Juvia? We miss you." She then gave her a tight squeeze, wrapping her arms around Juvia's whole body.

Juvia sat there, stiff as a board but she hugged her back silently. She allowed some tears to slip down now. After all this was a special moment. She had forgotten her friends were such kind souls, and they would be accepting of just about everyone. That didnt mean Juvia could just accept herself whole-heartedly though.

She would always be dirty in her own eyes. As she waved goodbye to Levy and she heard the click of her door, she laid back and stared at the white of her ceiling. What did Anna mean 'clean up her mess'? And what would that entail?

[blackhyena]

gothank you @slutteryingreen for tagging me to uhhh. do this deep dive i guess.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black ideally but like, whatever’s there in practice? i seem to have got hold of an aqua blue bastard right now and i feel somewhat foolish

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? i love the country but i need to be in a city where everything is convenient and it feels like im part of.... something at least. the idea of being far from amenities is quite frightening to me given how paranoid i can be lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? i know i already play guitar but i would like to be actually genuinely good at it rather than mediocre. i also would like to be better at doing makeup, and i’d really love to be able to make my own clothes alas i can’t even work a sewing machine

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i do not

5. What was your favourite book as a child? omg megan horrible histories is such a shout. i did love those dragonology/egyptology/pirateology books though i still have them somewhere cause im not throwing away QUALITY like that

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers 

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Oh To Be A Gender Non Conforming Vampire

8. Paper or electronic books? paper

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my assorted flashy blazer collection

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i mean.... it’s unusual, and i suppose that makes it feel very personal to me. but then also i love my nicknames/alternative names so much, i have genuinely considered changing it, but then i also like the idea of going by several variously

11. Who is a mentor to you? ummm. literally? my supervisor

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?  i still daydream about being a musician, that hasnt changed since i was really small haha. though sometimes in my daydreams i am also a screenwriter/director maybe. i don’t know. id hate to be super famous though megan is on the money, gotta be niche

13. Are you a restless sleeper? hmm, i take ages to get to sleep but when im out i am OUT. as in people have to make sure im not dead out. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? in every sense of the word!

15. Which element best represents you?  this is probably just from astrology shit but i think air is also quite representative of me!

16. Who do you want to be closer to? oh to be close to someone! in this economy...

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?  SEE ABOVE. everyone!!!!!

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory: my two cousins arguing over who got to give me a horse-ride in my nana’s living room, meanwhile i’m crying in the corner begging them not to fight

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? oh take your pick! chicken hearts, ostrich, springbok.... all very delicious would recommend

20. What are you most thankful for? im very loved by my family and friends 🥺 even though i can get insecure and not realise it, it’s something i need to commit to heart more often. 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but my body does not. doesn’t stop me though!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? ive met miles kane! and jason manford. and some randos from coronation street. oh and kate mulgrew. and lee mack, who was getting my train along with catherine tate. there’s probably more ive forgotten. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? lol NO but i do have a planner because if i didnt my life would have fallen apart completely by now. 

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?  pen.

25. What is your star sign? libra

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy... but i also don’t eat cereal. ive fully gone off milk (no pun intended)

27. What would you want your legacy to be? that i created something beautiful or though-provoking, or at least funny

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? ahah if i didnt like reading doing what i do then id be FUCKED. i just finished reading the ebb-tide by robert louis stevenson!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i get them something nice... i suck at expressing it because i’m so nervous it won’t go down well. a gift does nicely to get around that.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? i guess?

31. What are you afraid of? failing.... being forgotten.....rejection.... oh and wasps, hugely. bug sounds freak me the fuck out!!!!

32. What is your favourite scent? woody, earthy rain smells. and jasmine/honeysuckle too i suppose

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i... whatever they go by????

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? my house would be so beautifully hideous and full of beautifully hideous clothes. 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, just cause i can’t be dealing with salt water in my nose where it has no business being

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? i .... GUESS i would turn it in to see if anyone had lost it, but you can bet i’d be fuming

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no!!! i think i’m too short-sighted to pick most of them out. really mad about that actually why did you ask

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? im not planning to have kids but i did come to a conclusion that, while formerly i would have simply told them to be kind, i would also tell them to be smart. because natural intelligence aside critical thinking is a GIFT and they should rightly question everything rather than taking it as gospel. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? urgh i know exactly what i would get and if covid/money/parental expectations truly were no object i’d be getting little fragments of cathedral architecture from all the cities i’ve lived in tattooed on my wrists.

40. What can you hear now? the garage door creaking open under our flat

41. Where do you feel the safest? at home, with a cat curled up on my bed.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? insecurities yes.... anxieties.... fears.... all that. i should get therapy probably

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? it would not be permanent because i do NOT want to live without modern niceties but i WOULD go back to the eighteenth century/regency.... and just meet some people i’ve been reading about in the flesh, and see if they live up to the hype.

44. What is your most used emoji?  red love heart emoji....

45. Describe yourself using one word. odd...

46. What do you regret the most?  not sticking up for people being bullied at school. i know it was a self preservation thing at the time and i was a kid and didnt necessarily know better but like.... i wish i hadnt tried to distance myself from it, i could have been a lot more empathetic and made the world a bit kinder for people going through it, you know?

47. Last movie you saw?  belle! 

48. Last tv show you watched? succession

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. you know when you give your cat a gentle shove and it rolls over dramatically onto its back? that’s tipcat. 

i tag @ceolfriths @wutheringdyke  @mycravatundone @colubride @renfield @goblinmarquess​

[getbacktoworknovice]

🍑White Chocolate and Peaches

[a shorter fic based on what would happen during the reader having a bout of morning sickness~ reposting some older Ao3 stuff~]

Well, the doctor had been right.

Peanut butter really did taste the same going down as it did coming back up.

This had been your third trip to the bathroom so far this morning, throwing up literally everything in your stomach but the little baby growing there, and you were exhausted and cold from having to sit on the tile floor.

Not that you were going to complain, after all, you had always wanted to be a mother and this was just part of the package as your mother had said. You and Ezio had been trying forever it seemed to get pregnant and when the news finally came the two of you could not be any more excited.

You just wish this awful morning sickness would pass so you could curl back up in bed with your husband. You hoped you hadnt woken him with all your running out of bed to the bathroom. Hearing his bare feet padding towards you soon enough however shot that hope down in smoke.

He knelt down beside you and gently ran his fingers through your hair. “My poor sweet bella…” he said softly. You found that accent of his so adorable, even now when you were puking your guts up. His trailing fingers gathered your hair at the nape of your neck as you did, his other hand gently rubbing your back, humming softly as he knew it calmed you.

Even if you had woken him up, you were glad he was there.

Once the nauseousness subsided, Ezio helped you to your feet so you could brush your teeth. The taste was awful, but at least it was over…until tomorrow morning of course. Once back in bed, you had trouble falling back asleep so the two of you just talked.

You liked having this kind of time with him. No work, no business or errands to tend to. Just you and him. Talking about nothing for what seemed like hours. Of course, you loved that voice of his so you certainly didn’t mind some one on one talking time.

You closed you eyes and rested your head against his chest and he ran his fingers up and down your arms slowly, his fingers gently digging into your skin. Had you been a cat you’d be purring right now. He had a way of making you instantly at ease, comfortable, even when you were miserable. Like when you had the flu last year.

Once he found out you were pregnant he had immediately began preparing. He had turned the extra room into a nursery (crib, mobile and all!), bought a baby monitor and a BOAT load of diapers (as his mother had told him those would be the one thing they needed most) and had even gotten you maternity clothes for the stages you would go through.

Not to mention helping with baby names, he loooved getting to do that it seemed. He would nae off names in the baby book with “Auditore” as the last name and see how it sounded. “Gus Auditore” had cracked you up for five minutes straight. You had no idea why.

You hadnt even realized it was almost noon by the time you looked at the clock and even after your stint in the bathroom hours ago you were even a little hungry. “Mn, its noon already…” You said looking up at him with a smile, poking his stomach playfully. “Are you hungry? I could make you something?” You asked as you sat up a bit.

Ezio sat up as well but not before pulling you into his arms for a kiss. “Ah, ah bella, I told you, I take care of you.” He said moving to get out of bed with a stretch. “Now, what is my lovely little wife in the mood for?” He asked, putting his arms on either side of you as he leaned on the bed waiting for your answer.

You thought for a moment. Recently you had really been craving white chocolate and peaches. You weren’t sure why, but you had indeed grown to love them together. Especially when the chocolate was melted and she could dip the peaches like fondue. Giving a sheepish smile you looked up at him. “Well, I would really love some peaches-” You started and Ezio gave one of his little smirk smiles.

“And white chocolate?” He finished to which you blushed and swatted him. “Yes! I cant help it, I get cravings!” You said and tried not to smile as he chuckled, pushing himself back from the bed with a nod. “Very well my bella, I shall be right back.” He said with a kiss to your cheek. “Don’t go anywhere!” He teased to which you threw a pillow at him.

“Just don’t get lost on your way back!” You teased him in return and you could hear his laugh from the hallway. Leaning back against your pillows you smiled. Being married to him was an adventure all right…one you never wanted to end.

~Five years later~

“Giovanni?”

The little brown haired boy looked up when his name was called. It was the first day of kindergarten and each child had to tell the class something about themselves. He was nervous because he didnt like to be the center of attention but he stood regardless as it was what he had to do.

“Yes ma'am?” He asked, his hands folded in front of him. “Its your turn sweetheart, tell us your full name, and something about you that you think is interesting.” His teacher said with a smile. Giovanni thought for a moment before giving a smile.

“My name is Giovanni Auditore the second, and I love white chocolate and peaches~”

[hellswolfie]

HOO The Son of Neptune

So recently i’ve done a “review” of The Lost Hero and so i decided to do it again for the Son of Neptune because it feels good to vent somewhere ^^ 

also, once again, just because i criticize it, it doesn’t mean i didn’t like this book. In fact I actually liked it way more than The Lost Hero (the lack of Jiper will do that to you ^^)

Anyway lets go !

THINGS I DIDNT LIKE : 

- Hazel’s Big Secret. Dont get me wrong, i love her and her backstory is really interesting, but like...The Girl Who Has A Big Secret That She Hides Because If People Knew Surely They Would Hate Her Forever....its so rebondant with Piper’s story in the last book. So yeah, i admit, it made me roll my eyes a few times. 

- The age difference between Hazel and Frank. Knowing tumblr, im probably not the only one thinking this ^^ but yeah, while a 13 years old with a 16 years old is not the end of the world, it still made me extremely uncomfy at times, especially when Frank was rambling on how hot Hazel was like please stop X( and the fact that absolutely no one in the book thinks there is anything wrong or even weird with that like seriously ??

- Percy losing the Achille Curse. Yeah, i get that he had to lose it at some point, because if he was invulnerable all the time it would be too easy, but I just wish it could have been explored more, you know ? Like it was completely cast away with a plot convenience and never thought about again, while in The Last Olympian, everyone was saying how horrible and how much a curse it was, like im sure there were so many interesting things to do with it...

- The fact that they are all just too Good. Not in the sense that they’re badasses and all of that, but like how every time, the heroes always make the right moral decision. Im putting it there because thats the scene with Ella that did it for me...When they all decide instantly they wont capture her, even tho the Blind Guy would have told them everything they needed to know TO SAVE THE WORLD if they did, and that none of them ever really liked harpies in the first place...Like none of them even CONSIDER it !! Even Frank who is supposed to be the one willing to make hard decision for the greater good !! I dont know it just really irked me. I love charaters having to bend their morals or making difficult decision and mystakes, thats always what make them interesting !

- Percy already considering New Rome as his Family. It just...doesnt make sense. He spent what ? One day here ? Two at most ? And some of them wanted him dead ??? Why would he ever thought of them as his family as much as Camp Half Blood that fast ????  I know its maybe a little thing, but it shows that once again, having all the character and relationship development happen in the course of a few days make them rushed !

THINGS I LIKED  :

- Percy Jackson. I literaly had to stop reading when I saw his name in the first page because it made me too excited and i was smiling like an idiot while reading his chapters. I really hadnt realised how much i missed him until this moment !! Hes still so badass and kind and brave and smart and i love him so much !!! and seeing him in other people’s POV ?? AMAZING !!! everyone thinks hes a snack and thats what he deserves ^^ (and the scene where everyone waas omg its Ares bow before him and he was just like fuck this guy was Epic XD)

- Frank : a baby ^^ but seriously i really really like him. He has a lot of potential here, with how smart and strategic he can be (also his capacities as a leader), and i loved to see a perspective from a child of Ares who is  just too nice for his own good, it was really intersting (i would love for him to meet Clarisse lol). And his grandma ? A Queen. 

 - Hazel. Yes this time, i liked of all the trio. I admit i was a bit hard on her at first because i kept thinking “if you wanted a child of Hades to be one of the Seven, why not Nico ??” because yes i really wanted to see more Nico and to have him be a main :( but anyway, i rapidly warmed up to her, she s so fucking badass and brave and she deserves the best ever <3 Also she has the best Horse lol (if we dont count Blackjack because hes a pegasus of course).

- Reyna : a Badass Queen. Jiper is gonna hurt her so much, i can smell it from here, and thats just one more reason to hate this couple...But really shes such a good leader, strong and firm but willing to listen and compromise. I love her !!

- Nico. I love him so much and he deserves to be more present !! Also now hes a prisonner like can someone other than Hazel be worried about that please ??? And seeing him as a big brother was so sweet !!

- Percabeth. Well we didnt see much but the little glimpses we had...Percy only remembering Annabeths name...swoon

- Frazel. Like i said earlier i really didnt like their age difference but their dynamic is really great. They have so much respect and admiration for one another, and it didnt feel forced at all, it feels good to have a couple like that from time to time ^^

- New Rome. I really loved getting to explore this. The other aspects of the Gods, their way of living...It was really really interesting to see. It brings a whole new and fesh perspective on the mythologie and what does it mean to be a halfblood and i loved it. 

- The scene where Percy calls his mum. It was such a great emotional scene to me. Like in the mids off al the crazy stuff with saving the world and fighting monsters, Percy calling his mum is the scene that really reminds the reader that yeah, hes really badass and all but hes also a sixteen years old who disappeared for months and who needs his mum. It really humanizes him and brings the reader back to “reality” in such a raw way and yeah...Almost bought tears to my eyes...

Ok I think that was it. Feel free to discuss it (respectfully of course) ^^. 

[shiro-0197]

Oh I'm glad you got to rest more today tho!! Are you feeling okay this morning?? HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! Will you be doing anything special to celebrate it?

Fan-Haikyuu team? (I may just be dumb, but is that when you think of actors who fit the Haikyuu characters?😭😭😭I'm probably wrong but that sounds really cool) I'm just taking a short break from work, and I'll continue again in a while ^-^

in that case I sincerely hope you have something every morning :] (question: rice or noodles??) Oh I see!! I don't drink milk with my tea... I've never tried it because my mom always says tea is better without milk (but maybe that's just her 😝) but I love green tea the most.

aaah that's just so precious. And yeah the mbti test was pretty hard for me too, but I like my classification a lot. It sums me up perfectly, now that I think about it.

YOUR QUICHES ARE PROBABLY TO DIE FOR ISTG. Pizza's are also a good way to sneak cheese in! I made some yesterday for dinner and I'm pretty sure I used a lot more cheese than needed xD but oh well, cheese is bae 😼🤚

omg your parrot sounds ADORABLE! What's its name? And ksjdksks yes toads are very cute too :> they're like creatures mostly found in fairy tails, so I find that nice. But yes, in general, all animals are perfect and deserve love :) my club's logo is a lion, so I kinda like lions too (they're just big cats with pretty hair tbh)

You're tempting me to not do it, sir— 😼

omg noooo I'm sobbing that's fullproof istg. But yeah smh amateurs :] were the stories any interesting, or was it just school books related to the syllabus ? We don't have that here tbh we just have the literature components to our language studies, and that's the only books they make us read (but everyone buys the summary from bookshops so no one ever reads the whole book anyways)

thank you for reminding me, my precious cookie, I'll certainly keep that in mind and take more frequent rests :) I hope you do the same too, and smile often!! (I'm sure you have the prettiest smile), and of course, a wonderful day ahead.

AKDBDLSBDKSK NOOOOO SCIENCE PUNS I'M MELTING. 😝That's so cute, because you're Hydrogen; my number 1 !!

Love you love you LOVE YOU!

—Ari

Hey hey!! I'm feeling great, I've had a headache since the pillow said "fuck you" and somehow got messed up, but I took a pill and had a drink, and ow I'm better:D Thank youu!! I'm not sure I will, since my mom is going to a relative's birthday and im gonna stay at home alone, so might as well just make myself grilled cheese while watching Netflix. But, if i were at school right now, we'd definitely have a festival (or as close as we can get to a festival, considering the school's budget) or something similar to that, hehe. The school really made a huge deal out of holidays. I really miss it sometimes, cuz it never feels like a holiday at home, even during new years:/

Ohh, I meant like, creating original characters and shoving them all into the HQ universe and making it a team. Lemme show you the least of the team members xD

We're still working on the staff and the leftover characters' designs. I made school and volleyball uniform, but they dont look great so I'll probably work on them more!!! Me, Kuro & Liza (the friend) are making it, with Kuro being the main artist and Liza creating the characters. I'm responsible for the stuff. It's pretty fun. Hahah, sorry for rambling like that, it's like a personal passion project, and it's the only productive thing I can do while having fun, so I'm very happy about it~

I really love noodles♡ anything related to noodles is my favorite. If only you'd see me freaking out when I see spaghetti on our school menu XD I wish we got to make noodle soup more often. I love it so much😭

I only prefer rice when it's really spicy. I love spicy stuff a lot, and plain rice/rice soup feels really weird and my picky ass doesnt like it. I also love Pilaf (we call it plov here), it's not always spicy but it still tastes good😝

Oh, I think you should try it! It's really good, kind of plain but still nice. I'm really picky about my tea and I havent drunk any good tea in ages, but I remember a really nice cafe that served PERFECT green tea. I miss it😩 It was when I went on a school event, we got to roam around the city (with the teachers of course, because most have no idea where they are haha), and I visited that cafe, and I absolutely loved everything about it.

OH YEAH, but pizzas are really thin and get eaten fast, while quiches and pies are more fulfilling XD that's just me probs but still~

Ahhh, my parrot's name was Molly! Though only after her death I realised that it was indeed a "he", which was awkward. But the shopkeeper said it's a girl, and we were uneducated, so it's not our fault XD it was the cutest, tbh. It loved running after my pens when we played on the table. Sadly, my disgrace of a father kept reopening the front door in winter and overfeeding it when I wasn't home, so the parrot passed away:( one more reason to hate the old man, haha~ dont worry, I'm over it :D

Omg!! Lions, lions are so wonderful🥺🥺 Our school logo is a bird,

Hopefully it's visible. The pic is transparent, sorry for that XD

The stories weren't the best. There were children's turkish books, a few kazakh classics, a Harry Potter book (I hadnt gotten a chance to read or watch them, but after the Rowling situation I kind of lost any wish to somehow associate with the books) and honestly the Russian ones were the only readable ones:D (also, what little cheaters they are XD tbh our guys probably would do the same)

I'll try my best to smile whenever I can~ itll be easy if i just keep you in mind, shortcake;D

Ohhh that one is adorable!! I love you muchh😭🥺💕💕

[hufflesmonsters]

Albino Lizard Man

Wow, look at that, I do know how to write sobs,  this was commissioned by @aelia-likes-monsters, who simply screamed STORY. So, here we are <3 

Maybe you were experiencing an early midlife crisis by quitting your job and moving out to a small town in South Carolina. It wasn't like you had any reason to, you had a decent job, a good apartment. You weren't rich but you were fairly comfortable. Just… One day you had looked up and decided that you didn't want this kind of life any longer.

So you quit the next day, gathered all your savings and canceled the lease on your apartment. You sold anything that you weren't fond of, the stuff that basically made its living on the back of your shelf, and shoved the rest of your belongings into the back of your van. You set out down south, pausing at every rest stop to look through brochures for upcoming towns. You did that for three days before you came across one, advertising itself as the second town to have a “lizard man”. It was ridiculous, two towns claiming the same myth. And yet you found yourself drawn to the pamphlet in a way you weren't sure if you could ever explain.

You hit the town the next day, and had found a place to rent by noon. It was a small, but cute little lake house that was way to cheap for the location, but you knew when to not look a gift horse in the mouth. You had had all of your belongings set up by dinner, and was lucky enough to have pizza delivered. And as you sat down on your couch, a slice in hand, you looked around the home and felt a wave of satisfaction. Whatever you were craving, it was here, you were sure of it.

But that was months ago, and you still hadn't found the calling you were looking for. You got a job at a grocery store, nothing big or fancy you only did cashier work. The hours were okay, you managed to keep a steady income. And the job wasn't too bad, the people here were pleasant so you didn't get many, if any, creeps. You just felt… lost almost. Like you were searching for something, or someone, and just couldn't find it.

You also hadn't seen the infamous lizard man, despite your neighbors insisting that he's real. You'd seen alligators, sure, though none of them were big enough to qualify as a “man”. You were beginning to think that the townsfolk had just made him up for tourists, when one day a new alligator appeared.

It was early morning, you were off and wanted to experience the morning on your back porch. It was something you'd always wanted to do, but couldn't in the city. But here, here was perfect.

As you sat, nursing your coffee, a flash of brilliant white caught your eyes. You looked up, eyes wide at the sight of a large, alabaster alligator head floating along the top of the lake a mere ten feet away. Its pink eyes, strangely humanoid, stared back at you, an inquisitive look in his eye. You were suddenly very grateful for the railings that separated the two of you. You slowly placed your cup down and leaned forward to observe the colossal reptile, taking in the scarring on the side of his face.

You'd be the first to admit that you didn't know much about alligators and crocodiles alike, far from it actually. You'd seen videos, and watch them feed some days. They were terrifyingly beautiful, in the way that the same grace that they use to swim can also be used to kill. But, if there was one thing that you did know, it was that albino alligators were a rare find indeed. Only aquariums and zoos housed the animals, finding one in the wild, especially this big and old, was rarer than rare.

Suddenly realizing that you'd been staring at the reptiles pink eye, you averted your gaze to the snout. He'd gotten closer during the time you had spaced out, and was now five feet away. The water was too murky to see the rest of his body, and you really didn't want to see it this close. He was huge. You gave him a hesitant smile, your eyes locking back to his pink, and felt a wave of shock when his own pink orbs widened before he dipped back down into the water. You sat there, staring at the spot where he was in silence.

How about that, you thought as you leaned back and grabbed your cup of coffee. Taking a sip, you let your gaze wander around the surface of the lake. Maybe there is a lizard man after all. A snort escaped you, oh you were funny. One large alligator and suddenly you were believing the rumors. 

You stood, back cracking, and grabbed your cup. You had things to do today, like the pile of dishes that you’d been avoiding like it was the plague. The floor needed to be swept, and you had a whole pile of books that you needed to sort between keep or donate. As much as you really, really, wanted to stay outside and watch the water, you knew that the chores needed to be done. You were an adult, you could totally do this.

It was almost night when you finally allowed yourself to sit again, exhaustion filling your body as you attempted to relax. Your head hit the back of the sofa, a grunt escaping as you adjusted yourself into a more comfortable position. You wanted nothing more than to just sink into the cushions and never get up again. Your whole body hurt, because once you had started on the floor you realized that you hadn’t liked the way your furniture was arranged. Which lead to you rearranging things around, which lead to you not liking that arrangement. By the time you were done, it was dinner time and all you wanted to do was sit.

Your head rolled to the side facing the kitchen. Shit, you hadn’t even touched the dishes. You closed your eyes as you faced the ceiling again. Take out again tonight, it seemed. With a groan, you got up and stretched, wincing when your back popped audibly. You staggered into the kitchen, reaching for your phone you opened your contacts for the local pizza joint. A flash of white caught your eye through the window as you turned, your interest piqued, was your albino friend back?

You walked over to the window, smiling at the large alligator that floated in the water behind your home. You were half tempted to just throw some chicken out into the water for him, to keep him well fed in these cold days. Which, after seeing all of the lake placid movies, you knew was inadvisable. The last thing this town needed was an influx of alligators getting fat and comfortable around humans. But, you thought back to the almost human look in his eyes, it'd be a nice experiment to see if he really was all alligator.

You dialed the pizza place, listing your order as you watched the large alligator. You had ordered a thing of chicken tenders as well, partly to eat and the other part to throw into the lake. The employee gave the time table of forty minutes before you hung up. That would be enough time to do the dishes, maybe. You glanced at the television that called your name, your stance wavering. This was a dangerous territory you found yourself in, the need to get your kitchen in order was just barely winning the war to re-watch Daredevil.

With a sigh, you turned and walked to the sink. Rolling up your sleeves, you went to work. Your mind wandered, as it always did when you did your chores. You glanced up at your alabaster friend, he was still out there, still watching your house. You screwed your lips as you looked back down.

You felt almost silly, being this enamored with the wild animal. Yeah, he was a sight to behold, but you really didn’t need to be staring this much. You had never felt so relieved to hear your doorbell ring, tearing your gaze from the window and shutting your water off. You grabbed the towel and walked over to the door as you dried your hands.

The pizza man was here.

You opened the door and greeted him with a smile, placing the towel on the side table and grabbing your wallet. “How much?”

“Ah,” the kid fumbled with the boxes as he looked for the order ticket. “Twent… Twenty five sixty.”

You pulled out two twenties and six dollars. “The other twenty is your tip,” you told him when he tried to hand it back. His eyes went wide, and you swore that you saw tears well up. You smiled again and took the pizza and chicken from the kid, nodding when he wished you a good night.

Shutting the door, you weighed your options. It was actually a nice night out, the air not as cold as it had been the past few weeks. Plus, it'd be nice to relax out on your patio, with no one but the alligator to see you. So, with your mind made up, you grabbed a plate, napkins and a drink, piling them onto the pizza box, and timidly made your way onto the back patio.

You placed your food down on the table, and collapsed onto the chair, taking in the moment. It really was beautiful outside, the lightning bugs were out and dancing along the lakes surface. The trees and Spanish miss danced in the wind, slowly swaying from side to side. The owls were hooting, the frogs were croaking, and the cicadas were thankfully on a low pitch tonight. You felt an ease settle over you, this right here was why you moved to this secluded spot.

Your stomach alerted you that it was indeed still hungry, the loud growl caused you to jump as it shook you from your thoughts. With a slight chuckle, you grabbed your plate and piled it with pizza and a chicken tender. You ate slowly, going from looking at your phone to looking at the lake. Your new friend was still there, still watching. He looked hungry.

“Can you even eat cooked chicken?” You asked him with a raised brow. Raw meat was for certain, but with the breading and the grease, surely that couldn't be good for an alligators digestive system.

“It's one of my favorite things, actually,” a deep rumble answered. The voice sent a shiver down your spine, goosebumps rising along your arms. You were always a sucker for voices, and this one was no different. You looked around wildly for the source, eyes wide. There was no one there, but you still heard the deep chuckle all the same.

Then, the alligator rose out of the water. Large, strong hands connected to some very well muscled arms grasped the railing. The large reptilian head towered over you as he ducked under the roof. A large knee rested along the wooden floor, and a large tail swept in the water from side to side.

You dropped your pizza in shock. Your mouth opened and closed for a few seconds as you struggled to gather your thoughts. The albino alligator was really the lizard man, you'd been checking him out for the whole day. Hell, you were still checking him out, but you could always tell him it was because his scales looked pretty as they glistened in the low light. That was normal, right?  God you hoped so.

“I…uh, here?” You shakily grabbed a tender and held it out for him to grab.

He gently took it from you, the coolness of his scales brushing against your skin caused you to shiver and blush. Why was he attractive to you? Yeah, the voice is one thing, you even thought those dragons from skyrim were hot, but this?

Him?

You watched as he downed the chicken like it was nothing, and, considering how big he was, it probably wasn't. A long pink tongue snuck out to lick his lips, teeth glistening. His pink orbs fixated on you again.

“Thanks for the snack,” he purred as he leaned down closer to you. “My name is Irsosz, and who might you be?”

Yep, you were fucked. You were absolutely attracted to this reptile of a man. “I, uh, Anna,” you said not quite as smooth as you were praying.

“When did you move in? This house was vacant when I left.”

“F, four months ago,” you said as you tried to keep eye contact. It was so much easier when you thought he was just a normal ass alligator.

Irsosz nodded. “Ah, and I've been gone for five months,” he said. “If I had known how beautiful my new neighbor is, I would have made the effort to come back sooner.” He gave you a wink, and you hated him just a little for it.

“Where did you go, if you weren't here?” You asked, latching onto that tidbit for dear life. You weren't going to verbally acknowledge his advance, your mind was still stumped by it.

“Further up stream, visiting my brothers,” he answered smoothly. “My twin is getting engaged, by our customs at least, so I was helping him propose.”

“You guys get married?”

“We made for life, of course we get married. But his mate is human, so she can't get married by your standards.” Irsosz nodded to himself as he glanced back at the lake, his tail sweeping the water again. “Our marriage isn't complicated. We give our mates a scale, and them in return if they're lizardfolk as well. Our hands our bound to each other by a vine, and we say our… vows I suppose. It's more or less promises, assurances. And then the ceremony is over, and the two are bound.”

You nodded as he finished. “That's kind of cool, actually. She could totally have a “normal” wedding, all you need is someone who is ordained to watch over the vows.”

Irsosz thought that over. “My little brothers girlfriend mentioned that,” he mused before looking at you with a reptilian smile. “You're right, Belle will be thrilled to hear it.”

You smiled back at him. “So you have a twin and little brother living up stream, any other siblings nearby?”

“No, thank god, I'd hate to have to fight them off if they decided to set their sights on you,” he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, white nostrils flaring at the thought. “No, it's just Igrisz, who I absolutely don't mind, and Bruxo, who I do.”

“Aw, what did he do?”

“Besides being a little shit? He spent the entire time I was up there showing off to his girlfriend up until me and Igrisz had enough and tried to drown him.” He chuckled fondly at the memory.

“I take it he's the youngest of the family,” you gathered.

“He's a couple clutches younger,” Irsosz said. “But not the youngest anymore. Our mother had about five clutches after him, the youngest being ten.” He sighed and shook his head before looking at you again. “But enough about my woes, how are you enjoying the lake?”

“I like it,” you said honestly. “More now that I know you're here.” Was that too strong? You took in his grin, maybe not. “I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised. The locals had me thinking that you were going to break down my front door and start wrecking everything I hold near and dear.”

Irsosz let out a laugh. “I’m not surprised, they like to project Igrisz’s antics onto me. So long as you keep respectful of the lake, I don’t care what you do.” He paused and glanced down at you. “You, however, I am very interested in what you do.”

You stared at the floor as you wrapped your head around that comment. The way you saw it, you had two choices. Go with your head and tell him that it will never work out between the two of you, or go with your heart that said to jump into those drool worthy arms and swim off into the sunset with him. “Is… would it be…” You took a deep breath. “Is it crazy to say that I might be… into you?” God, you sounded lame.

“Not at all,” Irsosz said softly as his large head leaned down closer to yours. “I’m not as theatrical as my brothers, nor as dramatic, but, I look at you and I feel like, for once, my home is complete. A reason to stay here, for more than a few months at a time.”

You wanted to say that this was moving way too fast, that you were a woman who deserved a long series of complicated courting. But you didn’t, because frankly you felt the same thing. The draw, the way you felt like you were complete around him. Maybe, maybe when you quit your job, when you moved out here, it was all in preparation to meeting him. He was your missing piece in life, you knew it now. “So stay,” you whispered to him softly.

His pink orbs searched your face, looking for anything that could contradict your words. When he saw nothing, a shudder went through his body before his hand reached out and cupped your cheek, his head lowering, his lips covering yours. The kiss was sweet, and tasted salty but you found yourself liking it. There was a groan, deep with a creaking echo. Before you could place what it was, Irsosz suddenly dropped onto the wooden floor with a solid thump. A moan of pain escaped him as you looked down wide eyed.

The railing had broken under the immense pressure, the two posts sticking out on either side of his pearline skin. You pressed your lips together, a giggle bubbling up and threatened to burst. Irsosz looked at you with a sigh, resigned to the inevitable.

“Go ahead,” he said as he placed a hand under his chin, trying to regain some dignity. But, as your peals of laughter echoed across the lake, he found himself grinning up at you. You smiled back, eyes alight in adoration. Yes, moving out here may have been a huge decision that you hadn’t fully thought out. But it was worth it, god was it worth it.

[eryiss]

Chapter One ~ Sunrise

Summary: When Lucius was told his father was retiring and he was to inherit the company, he was overwhelmed. Naturally, he confided in the advice of H’esper Legal Firm on what to do with his new acquisition, with the expectation of sound legal advice and nothing more. And while he gets this advice, he finds himself much more interested with the handsome intern with deep freckles and a statue of a bird sitting on his desk. [Quillucius | Modern Au]

This is my first time writing for, or interacting with, the High Rollers Fandom. But this ship has taken ahold of me and I had to write for it, so here you go. This is the first of two parts, the second will hopefully be done by friday. Hope you all enjoy.

You can read it on Archive of our Own, or under the cut. I hope you all enjoy it!

Chapter One: Sunrise

Friday; 16th August

Watching as the large doors closed before him, Lucius couldn't help but fidget.

He had never exactly been the business, corporate type of man, much favouring more creative endeavours. So having walked through the extravagant lobby of H'esper Legal Firm – one of the most respected collections of lawyers and legal advisories in the country – was intimidating to say the least. Being surrounded by so many stuffed-shirt lawyers was about as out of his depth as he could bare to be.

Still, despite how uncomfortable he felt in the unfamiliar environment, he knew that he needed to do this. He could do this, be brave for Daddy's sake. Though, he did suspect that if his father were with him, he would have advised him not to wear such an extravagant outfit.

But Daddy wasn't here, so he could wear what he wished.

The reason for his visit to the elite legal firm was a simple one. His father had recently retired from the company he had created, a successful luxury car manufacturer known for having powerful, eco-friendly engines that were unrivalled by their competitors. Deciding that he would move to Australia for the retirement years, Lucius' father had decided that it would be best to leave the company in his son's hands. An outsider may say this was an unusual choice, given Lucius' entire personality, but with his sister already living outside the country Lucius was the only member of the family who would be anywhere near the head offices and manufactories.

So, Lucius was going to sell it.

Though it sounded somewhat selfish, his father had even told him that would probably be best. Maybe if he put the effort in Lucius could keep the company afloat, but advancing it was unlikely. It was much easier to sell it to someone who knew what they were doing. That was where H'esper came into the equation, he would provide the legal advice over all possible offers Lucius was getting.

The lawyer had already asked why Lucius' father hadnt sold it himself, and Lucius had laughed it off as an oversight. He knew the actual reason, but tried not to linger on it.

With a delightful little ding from the elevator speakers, the large metal doors opened to the top floor of the skyscraper. He stepped out, hiding the slight amount of nervousness that was on his face as he walked across the hardwood floor, with his boots clicking against it softly. He held his head high and turned a corner to what he assumed was the reception of H'esper's personal office. He walked to it with as much confidence as he could portray.

That was when he first saw him.

Apparently alerted to Lucius' presence by the sound of his boots on the floor, the man sitting at the somewhat cluttered desk looked up. He had brown hair which had been slicked back and attacked with a can of hairspray; a somewhat uneven coating if Lucius wanted to be critical. He had a mess of freckles across his face and brown eyes that were a darker shade than that of his hair. It would have been unnoticeable to most, but Lucius had always made to make note of colours; a small quirk that had served him well in only a few instances.

All in all, for a stuffed-shirt lawyer type of person, he was rather cute.

"Hello," The receptionist spoke up, smiling a little. "How can I help you?"

"I'm here for an appointment with H'esper," Lucius hoped his somewhat forced confidence was believable. "Lucius Virion-Elluin Elenasto, an eleven thirty appointment I believe."

Lucius watched as the receptionist nodded and turned to his computer, clicking on a few things and typing a moment later. The blonde frowned a little when he saw that he was only typing with his right hand, something that didn't seem like it would be particularly efficient. When he looked at the man's left hand, he saw that it was made of a black plastic; or was it metal. It had a small sheen to it, so metal made sense.

"There you are," The receptionist said, looking up from the computer.

Lucius found himself snapped out of his thoughts and back into the reality of the situation, which gave him a dull sense of nervousness in his stomach. After all, the repercussions of getting the material of a prosthetic wrong wasn't nearly as bad as selling his father's company to someone who would run it into the ground.

Trying not to let it get to him, he watched as the receptionist pulled up a large leather-bound book and a pen from his desk. He quickly wrote something in the book before turning it on the desk, so it was facing Lucius. "Could you sign that please?"

With a small nod, Lucius took the pen from the receptionist. He leant down and put his signature – a beautiful and curvy symbol he was rather proud of – next to his name. That's what the receptionist must have been writing; he had rather nice handwriting. Perhaps cursive.

"Thanks," The receptionist smiled. "He should be out soon, please taking a seat."

Lucius looked to where the receptionist had motioned to, and saw a white leather sofa and coffee table made of glass. He walked to it and sat on the side closer to the receptionist's desk. His posture was perfect and his clothes lacking anything as small as a crease; he needed to make sure he looked as good as possible. In environments like this, image played a large part in how he was received. Anyone who knew the Elenasto family knew he wasn't going to be the next tycoon, so he was already wrongfooted and needed to make up for it.

Unfortunately, looking confident and feeling confident were different things entirely. And sitting in the silence of the reception area, with only his thoughts to entertain him, the ramifications of what he was going to do plagued his mind, leaving him with a sense akin to sickness in the pit of his stomach.

A thousand and one questions flashed before him. What if he sold it to someone who couldn't handle it? What if the person who brought it was a rival that he wasn't aware of? What if he couldn't sell it at all and the company went into liquidation because of his poor leadership and people lost their jobbies?

He couldn't stew like this forever though. He was here to stop all of that from happening. H'esper had been his father's personal lawyer, knew all the ins and outs of the company and would be the best person to help Lucius through the selling process. And if he needed to, he could call Daddy and ask his advice on the prospective clients; just because he was on the other side of the planet didn't meant they couldn't speak to each other.

Even if it did feel like that sometimes.

Shaking his head a little as if to reject the negativity, he looked up when he heard the sound of typing again. He assessed the man's desk with a curious expression. It was tidy enough to not look out of place in the minimalist building, but there was a small amount of clutter on it that was organised just enough to not detract the eye. It would all look very formal, if not for the small statue perched on the right side of the computer.

It was of a bird; or birdman to be more specific. It looked like something from a fantasy novel, with a single large wing – which was holding a golden spyglass in its talons – and a clear brown and yellow colour pallet going on. It should have contrasted with the room entirely, but somehow added to it. It made Lucius smile.

"Birdie," He said aloud, in a similar way that someone would point out a horse on a country road.

The receptionist looked up at the word, frowning slightly. "Excuse me?"

"Oh," Lucius' head snapped from the statue to the man. He hadnt meant to actually speak. "I just meant that I like the statue of the little birdie you've got."

"Er, thanks," The receptionist seemed a little taken aback. Still, he smiled, and it settled Lucius' stomach somewhat. "My friend made it for my birthday, I'll be sure to tell her that you like it when I next see her."

Lucius smiled a little at the unneeded admission that a friend had made it for the receptionist. It meant that either he too had been affected by the silence between them and wanted to break it by inviting Lucius into a conversation – which Lucius would love, because his own mind wasn't a playground at the moment – or simply the receptionist had heard of Lucius' impeccable style and creative judgements and knew that the praise would make his friend feel better than anything else in the world possibly could.

It was almost definitely the former, but that didn't make the latter any less true.

"It's very good," Lucius continued, walking to the desk again and looking at the statue closer. The paintwork was impeccable. "Is your friend a sculpture?"

"No, almost the opposite really. She's a robotics engineer," The receptionist laughed, looking at the statue with a small amount of fondness. Lucius frowned, certainly not expecting something so creative to come from a science person. "She doesn't like it when robots look like robots, so she's pretty good with a 3D printer. She usually uses it for casing her projects, but she wanted to make this for me as a treat."

"So you like birdies then?" Lucius probed. The content smile and soft voice the receptionist was showing relaxed his stomach further.

"They're my favourite type of animal," The receptionist smiled a little wider, having placed a hand on the statue with fondness. "I drew this guy myself though, when I was a teenager. Used him as my icon for pretty much every website I signed up to, that's why Sentry made him for me I think."

Lucius laughed a little at the admission, though had to admit that he was a little shocked. The bird's design was good, the colours complimentary and the clothing somehow fitting the design well. He knew that it was cliché to say, but he had expected all the people who worked at a law firm to be lacking any creativity, having it knocked out of their heads by all the laws and bylaws and whatever else they learned in law school. It made him feel even more comfortable in the unfamiliar environment, he wasn't the only creative in the room anymore.

"So you're an artist then?" He asked, leaning forward slightly now.

"No. Not unless you really stretch the definition," The receptionist laughed off, removing his hand from the statue. "I only used to take it seriously when I was at university, and that was because I was doing commissions."

"Then you are an artist!" Lucius insisted with a smile.

"Not really. And if I was anything, I was a cartographer," The receptionist smiled again; Lucius frowned a little. "I used to draw maps of fantasy worlds, I think people used to frame them or give them as gifts. It was fun, actually."

"You don't do it anymore then?" At Lucius' question, the receptionist shook his head. "Why not?"

Throughout their conversation, the receptionist had at least kept an eye on his monitor so he could do some kind of work, however Lucius' question had finally made him pay full attention to the blonde and look at him with a somewhat puzzled expression. Slowly he looked down to the desk, and when Lucius followed his gaze, he saw that he was motioning to the prosthetic arm resting against the table. Lucius was now sure it was made of metal; lights didn't glint off of plastic in that way.

Lucius almost tilted his head at the gesture. So the reason that the receptionist wasn't drawing was because he only had one arm; which apparently wasn't something he had been born with or that excuse wouldn't make any sense. He made his confusion known by wearing a pretty obvious frown, eyes flicking first to the keyboard and then to the large leather-bound book he had signed.

"I don't see why that should stop you," Lucius frowned, looking back to the receptionist. "You type very fast and your handwriting is very fancy, so you seem to be right-handed and still arty. So what's stopping you from making your mappies?"

The receptionist thoughts for a moment, seemingly unable to find an answer he was happy with.

"Quill," A slightly tinny voice came through a speaker on the desk, shocking both men. "Can you send in Mr Elenasto please?"

"Er," The receptionist startled slightly, leaning into a microphone and pressing a button. "Of course, sir," He turned back to Lucius. "H'esper says he's ready to see you."

"Thank you," Lucius smiled, feeling the nervousness sneak back in as he looked to the door of H'esper's office. "Make sure you think about what I said. I'm sure your mappies were very good, Birdie."

He turned towards the door, putting back his 'serious and confident' persona again, as it had slipped into something more relaxed when talking to the receptionist; he hoped the nickname hadnt offended him. Though, as he walked towards the door, he thought that maybe he should be more worried that he had offended the man by being somewhat dismissive of his lack of an arm. But Lucius just couldn't stand to think a creative soul had been hindered without good reason.

After opening the door to H'esper's office, he was first met with a large view of the city skyline and an executive looking office. Sitting at a modern desk was a man who he had met on occasion, mainly as his father's work events, who he recognised as H'esper. He wore a kind smile, which made Lucius feel more welcome than he expected.

"Mr Elenasto, a pleasure to see you," H'esper stood up and offered a hand to shake, which Lucius shook; with strength, as Daddy had taught him.

"You too," Lucius smiled, sitting in the seat opposite the desk. H'esper sat back where he had just been.

"I'm sure you're aware of what services I'll provide for you, but I'll give a brief overview to be clear about it," H'esper began. "You've obviously got a lot of interest in the company, so I'm here to inform you of what legal implications there are to selling your company to certain people, as well as the expected outcomes to what will happen with whoever you choose. You father's paid for as many meetings with me as needed, so we don't need to rush this, and hopefully we can find someone that you're happy with that can bring the company forward."

"Well, with your help I'm sure we can," Lucius smiled. Buttering him up meant he was more likely to give him better services and advice.

"Thank you for trusting me," H'esper smiled. "And in the interest of trust, I should inform you your father has insisted he be kept informed about the process, so I will be reporting to him after each of our meetings."

Although he felt a little insulted about his father's lack of trust in him, he understood it. He wasn't a businessman, the company and its patents with his father's lifework and he needed to know it wasn't going to someone who would destroy that. Still, a little bit of trust would have been nice, the blonde thought.

"One more thing before we begin, I have a small request," H'esper continued. "I've been trying to get my intern into more real-world work, and I was wondering if you would mind if he sat in during our meetings so he can get some experience. It's your choice of course. His name's Quillek, I assume you met him outside."

"Quillek?" Lucius thought for a moment. "Oh, Birdie? Oh no, I don't mind that at all."

"Great," H'esper smiled, standing up. "I'll go and get him, then."

H'esper walked to the door of his office, and Lucius was almost sure he could hear the lawyer repeat his nickname for Quillek under his breath. He smiled a little, as he looked over the view of the city, then towards the unoccupied seat to his left that Birdie would probably be sitting in during their meetings. He was glad to have the opportunity to spend more time with the man, even if it was only when discussing boring company things. He liked talking to Birdie, it was relaxing and kind of fun.

A moment later, the door to the office opened again and H'esper walked in, this time followed by Birdie. He wasn't as tall as Lucius expected, but that wasn't a bad thing; and the suit wasn't a bad look on him.

He watched as Birdie walked, holding a large folder and a notebook in his right hand, the pile of papers seemingly unsteady. Lucius could see what was going to happen, and Quillek seemed to see it as well, but neither could stop it from happening. The notepad started to slip from his grasp, and by the looks of it, it was filled with loose papers that would scatter the moment it hit the ground.

Thankfully though, Lucius' reactions weren't exactly slow. His hand shot out and he managed to catch the notebook before the papers inside could scatter, smiling at Birdie and handing it back to him when he had readjusted his folder into a safer position.

"Thanks," Quillek smiled at Lucius, a small amount of redness forming under his freckles.

"Don't worry Birdie," Lucius smiled back, watching as Quillek sat beside him.

As the blonde looked over towards H'esper, who had a small smile on his face as he watched the two of them from his seat behind the desk. This wasn't nearly as corporate as he had expected, and with Birdie beside him, he felt almost comfortable in the situation. Funny; he had been dreading it for basically a week but now that it was happening, he didn't mind it all that much.

He could deal with this for a few weeks. It was actually quite nice.

-~~~-

Wednesday; 4th September

"I think that's all we need to speak about today, Mr Elenasto."

Quill looked up from his notebook, in which he had been taking notes about what had been said, as H'esper ended the meeting. He watched as Lucius relaxed in the seat behind him, something the blonde had always done when his meetings with H'esper. It was obvious that this wasn't the kind of work that Lucius enjoyed doing.

So far, Quill had sat in on all four meetings between H'esper and Lucius. He was mainly taking notes on how H'esper worked, both focusing on how he interacted with Lucius as well as how he debated and negotiated with the people interested in buying the company. It was a sight to see, and it was made clear why H'esper was seen as one of the most well-respected lawyers in the country. The way that he capitalised on the inconsistencies or called out attempts at swindling a better deal from Lucius was amazing. The intern had to wonder what the legal god – as he had been described in his most recent magazine interview – had seen in him.

Still, focusing on his insecurities wasn't going to help anything. He closed his notebook and watched as H'esper and Lucius shook hands. He wore a small smile as he looked at the blonde.

The meetings shared with Lucius had become something of a highlight for Quill, despite them only having occurred for less than a month. Lucius seemed to enjoy getting to the office with time to spare, giving the two of them the chance to talk while they waited for H'esper to finish whatever he was doing. They never talked about anything serious, and it was a nice break from the seriousness of Quill's work. Lucius was a natural born entertainer.

It made Quill a bit disappointed with the progress they were making.

Now that Lucius had been informed of who wanted to buy his company, and the expected outcome of selling to these people, it meant that their next meeting would be seriously considering who he was going to sell to. That meant that, pretty soon, his weekly trips to the office would end.

It was selfish, he knew. He was interning under one of the best lawyers in the country – and getting personal advice from him no less – so he didn't really have much room to complain about missing a certain client. But still, the blonde seemed to invigorate the room and make it brighter when he came in, most likely because of all the colours he wore, but also in his personality. So many people he worked with were drab, Lucius basically acted as a rejection of this drabness.

Quill stood up and walked out of his boss's office, going towards his desk in the reception area. Lucius held the door open for him as he walked through it, to which Quill thanked him. Lucius was also different to most of H'esper's clients as he was rich, but not obnoxious about it.

"Birdie," The man in question spoke up.

Quill smiled at the nickname as he placed his notebook and folders in his desk draw, locking it for safety; attorney client confidentiality. He looked up to the taller man with a smile on his face, seeing Lucius reciprocate it.

"Yeah, Lucius?" He asked, taking a seat at his desk.

"You wouldn't happen to have a little breaky coming up, would you?" Lucius asked, hand resting on the bird statue as it often did when he stood in-front of Quill's desk. "There's a little coffee shop down the street that my friend said has the best milkshakes. I thought you could keep me company, if you want?"

Quill found himself a little blind sighted by that. He had no qualms in admitting that spending time with Lucius outside of work would be enjoyable; he was basically silent when he was in the meetings and while he enjoyed their conversations beforehand, they were never all that long. So being able to talk to him in a more relaxed environment would be good, and the slightly hopeful expression that Lucius only made Quill want to meet him more.

"Well, that sounds nice, but my lunch break is in about an hour, so I doubt you'll want to wait for that long," Quill turned to his monitor after smiling apologetically at Lucius.

"You can take an early lunch if you wish, Quillek," H'esper said from the door to his office, apparently having listened to their conversations. "I don't have any scheduled meetings this morning, so you probably wouldn't have much to do anyway."

"Are you sure?" Quill asked, looking at his boss. He got a nod in return. "Thank you," He smiled at his boss before turning to Lucius. "Guess I can join you then. It'll be nice."

"Oh Birdie you'll love it," Lucius practically gushed.

Quill chuckled at the man's enthusiasm, standing up from his deck chair and smiling up at him. Lucius continued to grin at him, seemingly incredibly enthused by the prospect of sharing coffee with Quill. The brunette couldn't help but share his enthusiasm as they walked towards the elevators side by side.

The walk to the coffee shop didn't take long after leaving the building, and Lucius filled any potential silence by explaining how his friend Nova had visited the coffee shop once and couldn't stop talking about how good the drinks were, as well as the cupcake she had tried. Quill couldn't stop himself from laughing along at the vivid description of what the food had tasted like according to Lucius' friend; Quill was almost sure Lucius was being so absurdly descriptive just to amuse him. If so, it was working.

When they got to the coffee shop, it was incredibly colourful. When Quill glanced at Lucius, he seemed quite happy at what he was looking at and pushed the double doors open with more enthusiasm than was perhaps needed. Still, it made Quill chuckle as he followed the extravagant man.

Ordering was quick, and they soon found themselves sat at one of the tables. Quill had a large mug of mocha and a shot of espresso – it was the afternoon he reserved for admin; he needed the energy – while Lucius had what was called a Rainbow Milkshake. Quill didn't know exactly what the flavour was, as there was a spiral of different colours seen through the plastic cup, but Lucius was happily sipping it with a smile on his face.

It was pretty adorable, Quill had to admit.

"Sorry Birdie, I feel like I'm always talking over you," Lucius said after draining more of his milky drink. "So, you want to be a lawyer right, how did you get into that?"

"Well, this is probably going to sound a little stupid, but I wanted to make a difference," Quill felt his cheeks redden slightly as he spoke; he sounded like an overly idealistic TV show character. "I was never the most athletic person in the world so the more physical type jobs like police or firemen didn't seem possible, When I was a kid, went through a bit of self-doubting period," He shrugged. The lack of an arm also didn't help, but mentioning that always made people feel awkward. "But the law sort of just clicked with me, it made sense, so I looked into it and I haven't really stopped," He laughed a little.

"So you want to be Birdie the superhero of law then?" Lucius laughed, and Quill had to join him. "You must be very smart to work with H'esper. Is it exciting?"

"Definitely," Quill grinned. "And it's helping me get a better understanding of which part of the law I want to work in. H'esper certainly doesn't keep all his eggs in one basket-"

"Like a birdie," Lucius interrupted with a wide grin, clearly happy with his observation. "Whoops. Didn't mean to interrupt you again, sorry."

"Don't be. It was a good point," Quill joked, and Lucius grinned as he leant forward and sipped at his milkshake. "But yeah, working with H'esper definitely lets me see all aspects of what I could do. He's a pretty good mentor too, liked to get me as involved as possible with his clients whenever they let me. Some of them are very boring people though."

Lucius laughed a little as he sipped his drink. "Boring people? In an office?"

"I know," Quill grinned. "Wonders never cease."

The two laughed, and Quill brought his drink to his lips and took a tentative sip; Lucius' friend wasn't exaggerating by saying it was 'so much better' than Starbucks. The intern looked back to Lucius, who had taken the lid off of the plastic cup and was now spooning out the remaining whipped cream – which was covered in colourful sprinkles – and eating it with a content expression on his face. Quill had no intention of fighting back the smile on his face.

Despite being a force of extravagance and flamboyance when he wanted to be, Lucius somewhat calmed Quill. Maybe the extravagance was the reason; Lucius could stick out in a crowd and be loud and not care. It made Quill feel as though he wasn't going to be judged. It would be like a rainbow judging a box of pencils for being too colourful.

That was an odd comparison, but the point was he really enjoyed being around Lucius.

"I've been wanting to ask, Birdie," Lucius continued, putting the straw down. "Have you thought about drawing any new mappies yet?"

"Erm," Quill's voice got a little higher than normal. "I mean, I thought about it a little bit but haven't done anything about it yet," Because he was scared that he couldn't do it anymore. "Anyway, you must be pretty excited that the sale is going through. What are you planning on doing once you get the pay-out?"

Was the clear deflection obvious enough? Maybe he should have written 'I'm ignoring this question' in the foam of his drink to make it completely clear.

"Well Birdie, I'm not one to sit around and do nothing," Lucius grinned, apparently not bothered with Quill not answering him. "And now that I'll have a teensy bit of money to spare," Quill laughed, that was an understatement of the year. "I think I'm going to try and follow my dream and see if I can get a job in the theatre!"

"You want to be an actor?"

"No," Lucius grinned and leant forward, not saying anything else. This was going to be a guessing game it seemed.

"Director?"

"No."

"Producer?"

"Nope."

"Erm," Quill frowned; he didn't know much about the theatre if he was honest. "Selling the ice cream at the interval."

"No," Lucius said, beaming again. "I want to be the costume designer!"

Well that was unexpected, though sort of made sense. The idea of Lucius wanting to do something creative wasn't hard to believe; he constantly was talking about colours and vibrancy and aesthetic appeal in their conversations before the meeting. And, thinking about it, Lucius' personal style had more in common with the surreal clothes worn in fashion shows than it did with someone wearing jeans and a tee-shirt.

"That's pretty cool," Quill admitted. "Are you just now getting into making clothes, or have you done it before?"

"Birdie, everything I'm wearing I made myself," Lucius placed a hand on his chest as if offended. The smile he wore betrayed this act though "You think any store in the world would have such fantastic clothes. I'm offended Birdie, you really do wound me."

"I couldn't be more sorry. I hand my head in shame, I really do," Quill laughed, looking down at his coffee "Can I ask why the theatre though. There's probably more work in TV if you want to make costumes."

"I know there is, but all the programs right now are so gloomy," Lucius rested his head on his left hand, a small pout on his features. "Imagine being the person working on the costumes for Game of Thrones, your entire life would be surrounded by monochrome fabrics. You'd throw a party every time you got to work with a colour pallet that didn't have grey in it. I just couldn't live like that; I'd go completely insane."

Quill grinned. Such a dramatic man.

"But it's not like that in the theatre. Everything's colourful and joyful, it's like this place but with singing and acting," Lucius motioned to the colourful room they sat in. "That's my idea of heaven, Birdie."

"Well, good luck with it," Quill smiled, and Lucius grinned. "After the sale goes through, you'll be able to focus on that fully I suppose."

"Yeah, guess I will," Lucius' smile fell slightly. "Sometimes I think Daddy gave me the company instead of selling it himself so I can be safe no matter what happens."

Though Lucius let out a small laugh, it was obvious it wasn't genuine. His eyes had dropped slightly, and his posture deflated a little, and it made Quill frown. Lucius had spoken about his father a few times in their conversations, and it had always seemed to be in a positive way. But, given what Lucius had said, perhaps his father didn't trust Lucius as much as the blonde would like. It must hurt to feel like that, especially given how much Lucius seemed to idolise the man. Quill didn't comment on it.

"But you're right, Birdie," Lucius continued, his smile seemingly more genuine now. "I'll be able to make a portfolio that'll skyrocket me in costume design stardom."

With the confidence he spoke with, Quill liked to think Lucius would achieve just that.

Despite Lucius' small drop in mood, conversation picked up almost immediately and continued. Quill brought himself something for lunch, as this was his lunch break, and ate it as Lucius explained point by point what he would have done if he were in charge of the costumes in a musical that he had grown to love. The enthusiasm that Lucius showed for what he was passionate in, as well as the detail he went into about small things such as stitching and lining, made Quill listen with interest.

Lucius made sure that the conversation wasn't one sided, of course. It was free flowing and natural, and the expression Lucius wore when Quill admitted he had never seen a stage show in his adult life had left Quill laughing through his sandwich. Lucius then gave him a list of shows he needed to see, and Quill promised he would at least try one of them.

"Sorry Birdie," Lucius said, cutting himself off suddenly, reaching into his jacket pocket. "I've been trying to ignore it, but someone really wants to get ahold of me."

Quill watched as Lucius opened his phone, seeing that his notifications were filled by someone named Aila, who was texting him repeatedly; there was a fair amount of profanity in the texts, even Quill could identify that from reading upside down. Lucius chuckled, seemingly unbothered by it, and sending a quick text before pocketing his phone again.

"My personal trainer," Lucius explained, smiling. "Well, she's one of my best friends as well, but I'm meant to be in a session right now and she's annoyed I haven't turned up."

"Yeah, the swearing tipped me off that she wasn't in a good mood," Quill laughed.

"Oh she's just like that sometimes. She's a delight really," Lucius laughed a little, and Quill wondered if he was missing an inside joke of some kind. "I might have to go in a few minutes, or she'll work me really hard."

"You didn't strike me as the gym type," Quill spoke, teasing slightly.

"What on earth are you implying Birdie?" Lucius placed his hand on his chest again. "I'll have you know I'm the picture of fitness. I'll show you!"

Before Quill could stop him, Lucius shrugged off the right arm of his coat and rolled the sleeve of his black shirt. He flexed his bicep to prove his 'picture of fitness' claim and, indeed, it was pretty impressive; he was stronger than his coat gave him credit for. Quill couldn't stop himself from blushing under his freckles; having the rich man essentially flex to show off to him was bound to embarrass him a little.

"Well, looks like I stand corrected," Quill admitted.

"Thank you for being so humble in defeat, Birdie," Lucius grinned. "What time is your actual lunch break, maybe we should make this a regular thing?"

"Really?" Quill asked before he could stop himself.

"Of course. You're fun to spend time with, that's why I wanted to take you hear in the first place," Lucius spoke as if it was obvious, and Quill was shocked that 'Silly Birdie' hadnt left the man's lips. "And I'll probably be finished with selling Daddy's company soon, so I won't have an excuse to see you. But if we meet up every Wednesday then we can be friends, right?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so," Quill smiled. Meeting up with Lucius once a week would be pretty nice, actually. "That'd be fun, I'd like that."

"Oh yay, that's great," Lucius smiled, before glancing down to his phone which had lit up again. When he read the text, he pouted again and looked back to Quill. "Aw. Now she's going to make me do burpees."

"Surely someone who is the picture of fitness can deal with some little burpees," Quill teased with a smile.

"I can, I just don't want to," Lucius mumbled with a small smile. "But I should go now, or she'll make me use the rowing machine. My poor leggies haven't recovered since the last time. Sorry I have to cut this short."

"Don't worry. I would have had to go back to the office soon anyway," Quill assured him as Lucius stood up. "But this was really nice."

"Yes, it was wasn't it?" Lucius smiled. "And we'll have just as much fun next week, won't we Birdie?"

"Suppose we will."

"Great," Lucius smiled, tucking his chair under the table. "It's a date. See you Birdie."

Lucius waved and retreated to the door of the coffee shop, leaving Quill with his half-drunk mocha, the wrapper of his sandwich, the empty shot of espresso, and a single thought plaguing his mind. Lucius had said 'it's a date.' When he said that, had he simply been saying it as a phrase, or had he meant that the next time they would be meeting in the coffee shop it would be a date. Quill knew that was unlikely but, in the event that Lucius did mean that they were going to go on a date, did that also mean that this counted as a date?

It was a thought that remained in his head throughout the rest of the day. Still, at least it knocked out the image of Lucius flexing…

-~~~-

Saturday; 5th October

Lucius flittered around his large apartment with nervousness. On the marble countertops of his kitchen stood an array of luxurious finger foods – provided to him by some of the best caterers in town – sitting beside an ice bucket holding an expensive bottle of champagne. Throughout his speaker system, some mindless smooth jazz was playing from a playlist he had found of good dinner party music on the internet. Sitting on his sofa set and watching hit TV were two of his closest friends, Nova and Aila.

The reason for his borderline erratic behaviour was that he was having something of a party. It wasn't anything big, but the people who were coming were causing Lucius' stress. Aila and Nova were, of course, not to blame. But the blonde had also invited Quill and had insisted that he bring Sentry with him so they could meet.

It was a big deal. He may have developed something of a tiny little crushy on Quill, and not only was this the first time Birdie would see him at home – which was an extension of his personality – but it was also the first time he was going to meet Birdie's friend. If he messed it up, who knows what could happen?

He was especially stressed because this could be the turning point in their relationship!

The party was happening because, earlier in the week, Lucius had finally closed the deal on his father's company. Daddy had been happy with who he had chosen to sell to, the buyer had seemed like he knew what he was doing and would respect the legacy the company had behind it, and also had good ideas on what they could do with their engines. All in all, it seemed like the best outcome, but it did mean that the weekly meetings that Lucius was having with H'esper had to end, meaning his friendship with Quill was also at risk.

They had continued to spend Quill's Wednesday lunch break going to the coffee shop as they had planned, and Lucius loved every minute of it. Spending time with the adorable Birdie – he had been promoted from just cute – was something he was quickly coming to adore.

But this was the first time they were expanding their friendship further, and Lucius couldn't mess it up.

"Lucius," Nova spoke from the sofa, leaning over the back to look at him. "If you keep pacing around like that, you'll end up fainting before they even get here because you've ran out of energy."

"Yeah," Aila nodded. "How'd we make fun of you if you're asleep before your boyfriend comes."

"He's not my boyfriend," Lucius insisted.

Lucius had, of course, told his friends about Birdie. The blonde thought he only brought his new friend up on occasion, but if Nova and Aila were to be believed then he never seemed to shut up about him. Nova had claimed that it was nice that Lucius had someone he thought so well of and would happily listen to his rambles, whereas Aila simply thought it was hilarious and used it as ammunition to embarrass him whenever possible. Lucius could deal with the teasing, though he still maintained his argument that he spoke about Quill a normal amount.

"Not yet," Nova said in a slightly teasing tone. "But that doesn't mean you don't want him to be, right?"

"That," Lucius spoke, pausing for a moment. He couldn't exactly deny it. "That is neither here nor there. If today is about anything, it's celebrating the fact I don't own a company I'm unqualified to run anymore, as well as making new friends."

"With the guy you wanna bone," Aila amended, grinning.

"You know, you two are just very mean," Lucius huffed, his cheeks red from embarrassment; he certainly hoped that they would at least try to be a bit more subtle when Birdie and his friend arrived. "I paid for all of this, and it's in my apartment, and I didn't have to invite you to be here. To think you're still so cruel to me after all the nice things I do for you both. Oh-"

Lucius cut himself off from what he was saying and walked towards what would be the larger bedroom in the apartment, if he hadnt turned it into an office/workshop of sorts. He didn't bother turning the lights on as he walked towards the old-fashioned mannequin he owned, carefully removing the blue and gold coat from it. He gave it a speedy once-over to make sure all the holding pins had been removed and his stitching wasn't obvious in the places it wasn't meant to be, before returning to his open plan living room.

The coat was Nova's, one of her favourites. She had gotten a very nasty tear that made it unwearable, so Lucius had offered to fix it up for her. He didn't even request payment for his flawless work, and yet his friends were still cruel to him.

"Here you are Nova," He said, offering the coat to its owner "Good as new."

The blue haired woman looked at her fixed coat with a wide smile. "Thanks Lucius. You really can't tell what happened, can you?"

"I wouldn't be much good if you could," Lucius smiled, before looking to Aila. "See Aila, look how happy Nova is with what I've done to her special coat, that must mean I'm good. Will you please let me make something for you?"

"Don't need it," Aila shrugged, eating a handful of peanuts.

"But I'll even stick with this… lumberjack motif you like. I just want to see you wearing something other than brown," Lucius had a small frown on his face; his friend really needed new clothes.

"Keep asking and I'll hit ya, Lucius," Aila said, looking at Lucius again who pouted in response but let it go.

He went back to fretting over if he had everything needed ready, looking over the food he had ordered and making sure they were all properly labelled; he didn't want anyone getting confused about what was vegan friendly or nut free as he wasn't sure what Sentry would eat. He probably should have asked. Oh, what if either of them was gluten intolerant and all the food he'd ordered had gluten. He didn't really know what gluten was, but he didn't want to end up poisoning someone because of his oversight.

Just as he considered looking online to see if there was a gluten hotline of some kind, the rhythmic chimes of the building's buzzer system. His eyes shot to the interface that rested beside his front door, and his heartbeat increased somewhat. He rushed to it quickly.

"Elenasto residence," He spoke into the microphone, formal just in case it wasn't his guests.

"Lucius?" Quill's voice crackled through the speaker. "It's Quill, we're on time, right?"

"Of course, one second," He pressed the button that unlocked the front door. "You can come in now, you remember my apartment number, right?"

"Yeah, see you in a minute then."

"See you soon, Birdie," Lucius smiled. He then quickly turned to his friends, crossing his arms. "Now, you both have to be nice to me today. If you're not, I'll use all of Daddy's company money to buy all the bookstores, gyms and horrible lumberjack clothes shops in the city and make sure you're banned from them all."

Both women laughed at the threat, knowing it was hollow, but Lucius was pretty sure they were going to behave themselves. Well, Nova would at least, and hopefully Aila would just decide to be kind to him for a day.

It took a few minutes for there to be a nock at the door, at which Lucius let out an undignified squeak. He rushed to the door, made sure his hair looked good in the mirror, and opened it to see the final two guests in for his party. Quill caught his eye immediately, as he was wearing clothes more smart-casual than his work clothes, and his hair was more ruffled and natural looking when compared to his working look. He was smiling an annoyingly infection smile that Lucius couldn't help but match.

When the blonde glanced towards the woman standing behind Quill, he was met with a gentle smiling face of someone who might be taller than Aila. She had an expression Lucius immediately associated with kindness, and when he glanced down, he saw she was holding a… thing in her hands.

"Hi," Quill spoke, catching Lucius' attention again. "We weren't sure if we should bring anything, so here," Quill handed Lucius a bottle of red wine, which the blonde took before stepping aside so they could get into the apartment. "Oh, sorry. Lucius, this is Sentry. Sentry, this is Lucius."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Sentry spoke in a soothing tone, shaking Lucius' hand.

"You too," Lucius smiled back. He then looked to the seating area, where both Nova and Aila had stood up so they could introduce themselves properly. "These are my friends. This is Nova and that's Aila."

"Oh, you're the one he hides the milkshakes from-"

"Birdie!" Lucius exclaimed incredulously. Such a vicious attack on their friendship already! Though Quill did look a little sheepish, so maybe it was an accident. Lucius quickly looked towards Aila before she could scold him. "I only had one," He lied. "And I only had it because Birdie said he wanted one and I didn't want him to feel left out."

Aila clearly didn't believe him but was nice enough to let it go; though Lucius expected that he would definitely be on the rowing machine next week. Maybe he really should buy the gym and burn it down before that could happen…

After placing the wine down, and making a promise to drink some of it because Birdie got it for him specially, he looked back to see how his friends were getting along. Nova had shaken both Quill and Sentry's hands and greeted them, before going back to the sofa where she probably felt more comfortable, whereas Nova was having an animated conversation with them both, and had thankfully brought up one of the two elephants in the room. Luckily for Lucius, it wasn't his huge crush on Birdie.

"So, I have to ask, what exactly are you holding?" Nova asked, looking at the thing Sentry was holding.

Lucius looked at it again, and truly couldn't identify what it was. It seemed almost as if a nest of twigs had turned into some sort of a ball. In between the twig-like ball was a small purple sphere that, at a glance, looked like a large singular eye. Lucius would almost say that it looked quite cute.

"Sorry, it's a project I'm doing at work. It's got a satellite tracking feature we need to test, and my boss insisted I take it everywhere I go," She seemed a little apologetic. "You don't have a socket I can plug it in, just to do the test, then I can put it away."

"Of course, and don't feel like you have to rush. I don't mind," Lucius reassured her, looking at the device. "Birdie's right, you are good with a 3D printer. I couldn't tell it's a robot at all."

"It's a robot!" Nova, rather predictably, shot up at that and began inspecting the machine with almost sparkling eyes.

Lucius laughed when Nova followed Sentry as she plugged the device into the wall socket, a barrage of questions that probably wouldn't end until Nova had found out the life story of both the robot and the woman who had created it. Lucius had expected that, the moment Nova knew about what Sentry did, she would be incredibly interested and would not leave her alone. That suited Lucius quite well, it meant that his friend would get along with Quill's friend and there would be less chance of her embarrassing him on purpose.

Nova's enthusiasm, and the questions that followed, seemed to have broken any ice that had been present between the five of them. While Sentry did whatever she needed to with her robot – apparently named ECHO – Lucius and Quill sat side by side in the loveseat sofa. Lucius wondered if Aila moving from the sofa to the armchair was a wing-woman act, or simply just a coincidence. Either way, the party had begun and it was all going rather well for Lucius.

They watched a movie or two, ate the food Lucius had ordered (which thankfully hadnt left anyone with glucose poisoning), and overall had a nice time. Lucius had a somewhat goofy smile on his face throughout, which Quill must have noticed. Lucius couldn't find it in himself to care, though.

"I like him," Nova commented, appearing in the kitchen nearly seemingly from nowhere.

Lucius nearly dropped the bag of popcorn that he was emptying into a bowl, glancing up from the kitchen towards the living room. It was only he and Nova in the kitchen, and Quill seemed to be busy explaining where he got the nickname 'Birdie' from to Sentry and Aila. Thankfully, he seemed too involved in that conversation to notice Nova sneak up of Lucius and nearly scare him to death. He wanted to pout at her – he could still hear them; they weren't that far away! – but instead looked at his friend with a small smile.

"You do?" He whispered, blushing a little.

"I really do," Nova smiled, nodding. "He's sweet and smart and not bad looking really. Aila likes him too, I think. And anyone who finds its funny that you call books 'bookies' is pretty much perfect for you."

"It's much more fun to say bookies," Lucius defended himself, but grinned. "But yes, he did laugh, didn't he? He even let's me talk about fabrics and colours and fashions thingies, and he seems like he's actually interested as well and not just letting me get it out of my system. And that was the first time we met outside of H'esper's office." The blonde smiled fondly at the memory.

"Maybe you should show him your studio," Nova suggested with a wide grin. "Show off what you're like in your element, as well as what you can do," Her grin widened a little. "And you'll also have a little privacy~"

She couldn't have been more obvious of what her words meant if she wiggled her eyebrows and held up an 'Ask the guy out' sign which she hit him over the head with, but he was appreciative of her non the less. While he was undoubtedly enjoying this melding of their friendship groups, it did mean that the time between he and Quill had been diluted a little. But assuming that Sentry was still entertained by Nova's questioning, showing off his studio would get them nice and alone. And when he was showing Birdie all his fancy clothes, he would sweep him off his feet like the dashing prince charming everyone knew he was.

"Birdie," He exclaimed with a grin, overly enthused by his plan. "You should see my studio!"

Quill turned, seemingly shocked by the sudden suggestion, but he smiled a moment later and stood up from the sofa. "Sure."

Now practically fizzing with excitement – Birdie hadnt even questioned why, he just agreed, so he must be at least a little interested – Lucius left the kitchen and the half-filled bowl of popcorn for Nova to deal with. He stood by the door with a larger than needed grin on his face, waiting for Quill to join him. When he did, Lucius opened the door with a large amount of flourish and flare.

Lucius was a proud man, and he was perhaps more proud of his studio than anything else.

The wall to the left of the door had a large array of different fabrics hung to the left wall, allowing Lucius to best decide what would be best in terms of colour, texture and pattern for whatever he was working on. The far wall housed his drafting table and sewing machines. The wall on the right contained a row of traditional mannequins of differing sizes, all of which were empty now Nova had taken her coat back. The wall which housed the door itself was almost entirely hidden behind a large mess of draws and cupboard, containing all the possible materials he could need.

Switching on the lights – which were spotlights aimed towards the mannequins for better lighting – Lucius couldn't stop himself from grinning as he watched Quill look around. Although he wasn't awestruck, Quill was looking around with a big smile and even running his hand across the fabrics like Lucius often did.

It made him feel all gooey inside to watch.

"This is really cool," Birdie said after looking around the room completely, and it made Lucius grin even wider. "I don't know why I expected anything else. Making clothes that fabulous," He motioned to Lucius. "I don't know why I thought you'd have anything but the best."

"Oh Birdie, you flatter me," Lucius grinned, leaning against his drafting table. Birdie sat at the vintage stool before the table. Lucius waited a few moments before speaking again. "So, are you having a nice time, then?"

"I really am," Quill smiled, leaning back. "I like your friends. They're nice."

"Sentry's nice too," Lucius smiled, tucking a long strand of blonde hair behind his ear with a slightly bashful smile. "I should have warned her about Nova though, I knew it'd happen when she found out what she does."

"Don't worry, Sentry's a patient person and she likes her work," Quill smiled.

The two sat in silence for a moment, the muted sound of the jazz playlist Lucius had put on vaguely audible through the walls. The spotlights meant that the corner of the room both men sat in was lit up softly, perhaps even romantically. Lucius got another good look at his crush in a more casual environment, and it made him smile. The slightly scruffy hair was adorable and even slightly resembled the plumage of a bird. And while Birdie looked very nice in a suit – very very nice – the softer tones of clothing he wore was much more suited to how he looked. It made Lucius feel even more gooey inside.

The blonde knew that this was as good a time as any to confess his crush. They were both happy, this was the most intimate environment they had been in together, and the champagne they'd both had a glass or two of was giving him a little push as well.

"Lucius," Quill spoke first, and Lucius looked towards him with a smile. "There's something that's been on my mind for a while. So, can I ask you something?"

"Of course Birdie," Lucius smiled; he could put off asking him out for a few moments.

"Well, it's just that when we first agreed to make the coffee shop a regular thing, you said that it was a date," Quill looked down, and Lucius frowned. Was something wrong? "I was just wondering that, well, did you just mean that in the 'see you next time' way or did you mean that it… that it was a date?"

Oh. Oh god. Lucius had no idea how to deal with that question. Did that mean that Quill was open to the idea of going to dates with Lucius? Because if so, that was great. But what if he meant he was uncomfortable having coffee now! Oh god, this could have messed everything up.

But he needed to say something. No matter what, he couldn't just sit there in silence.

"Birdie, if you were on a date with Lucius Virion-Elluin Elenasto, you would definitely know," Lucius pushed his chest out a little, forcing confidence in the same way he had when first going into H'esper's office.

The moment he said it, his confidence went away again. What if, on the odd chance that Quill had thought they had been going on dates and he had been enjoying it, Lucius saying that would hurt Quill? He didn't want Birdie to think that he didn't want to go on dates with him, because he certainly did! He wanted to go on all the possible dates with Quill. Anything from a little coffee shop to skydiving so Quill can live up to his Birdie potential.

Well, maybe not skydiving. That sounded horrible.

"Sounds like being with you would be pretty intense," Quill chuckled, seemingly not put off by what Lucius had said. He looked up and grinned at Lucius. "Interesting fact about me, I'm pretty good when things get intense."

Was that a line? A pickup line? Oh dear god was Birdie flirting?

As Lucius came to terms with what was, factually speaking, the best pickup line known to man in all of recorded history, Quill seemed to crumble in on himself. Apparently the cool, smooth side of himself could only last so long, as he buried his face in his hand and blushed red and seemed unable to look Lucius in the eye. Lucius himself wasn't doing much better, also reddening under the gentle lights while recovering from the line. Damn, Birdie could be so cool when he wanted to be!

"W-what I mean is," Quill continued, trying to recover. "Oh god I messed this up. So, basically," He still seemed to be cringing into his hands. "Wanna go on a date sometime?"

"Oh Birdie," Lucius grinned, wrapping his arms around Quill suddenly. "I'd love to!"

[itsqueenelise]

So Red Sister. I need to speak on it before I let Grey Sister corrupt too much of my thoughts. I finished the second half in a breeze of time the other day and have been super excited to talk about it. I had not given Lawrence enough credit in the first half. Sister Pan and Apple would be upset at me for my lack of mastery in patience. Like I felt, the first half was mostly build up. We got to see Nona before and at her entrance to the convent and how her relationships are created in the first part. This proves to be super important since the second part expands on everything shown in the first half. The mystery of Nona’s blades, her backstory she keeps lying about, Clera, Raymel Tacsis, and so much more. I’d say the first half of the book is pretty much all exposition and I think that Lawrence did that very well and the setup was worth it.

As you read the first half, you assume that there has to be something more to Nona. She has these weird invisible blades that don’t make any sense and feel out of place, the abbess cares to much for her as well as Sherzal (though in a negative way). It seems so odd that she would just be a hunska especially with the big presence of the prophecy and the four bloods. And sadly Ara doesn’t have as big of a presence or hold on the plot as you think she should as “the chosen one”, so it feels odd as the reader. But then you get the introduction of Zole. Zole is perfect edgy main character material. Uber strong, dark past, high connections and even while reading her introduction you can feel that she’s something more. What I do like though is that Lawrence teases the reader with Nona’s discovery as a quantal and then a marjal soon after.

One of my favorite things to read in this story was Nona’s battle with convent and her faith sort of. She rejected the spiritual parts of her education super hard in the first part and then soon learns that she is a quantal and has the potential to connect with the path and the magics surrounding it. And from there she really gets to explore and appreciate that spritual side. I really enjoy seeing her struggle with patience and serenity and actively trying to achieve it and respecting it, but then also finding her own way. The path of passion and rage she finds is really interesting as it completely fits Nona and who she is and shows her flaws but also acts as her strength. (This is where i want to speak about Grey Sister ahhh) She is figuring out who she is and how she can apply her taught mantras and then her own. The blade path is a perfect metaphor for this, for as she gets better at achieving patience and serenity and tries to apply it to the blade path, she fails quicker and faster. But when she goes fast, without thinking, she is able to fly through and achieve it. This discovery and inner battle was great to see and I am super excited to see that it continues in Grey Sister and even amplified further as a bigger theme.

I think I should take a moment speak on Nona as a marjal and also her potential as a three-blood. I thought it was super fitting at first when her quantal blood is realized since that is sort of the “holy” magic and super contrasts Nona’s character and how she is, though it feels just as amazing when her marjal blood is discovered through her use of her talons. The fact that this blood harboring usually the “darker” magics has always been with her unconsciously fits just as well in a different way. My one fear was that Nona would just turn into a Vin from Mistborn and be super amazing at everything and lose some of her flaw and interest as a character, but Lawrence has shown that her potential is there but her flaws do really hold her back. She is small and weak and has such an impossible time against big foes like Denam (that fight was amazing) and Raymel as wel despite even being able to walk the path. And even though she can walk the path, it is through rage and not controlled. The flashes into the future show that she can use that as an advantage even though it is a flaw, but she will never have the careful touch of the path and threads that Hessa had or the control and power that Ara has. It feels like she has potential for amazing things but also equal potential to fall. Though she’s also a marjal...but Lawrence did good in limiting that from cutting her shadow free and therefore losing her ability to weave shadows. I’m still skeptical because I don’t want another Vin, but I have hope.

Speaking of cutting her shadow free, my absolute favorite part of this book has to be Hessa and Nona’s thread bond. The connection between these two characters literally and figuratively is so beautiful. Nona throughout has a big problem with trust, but Hessa always acts as the person she is able to look to and be close to. Hessa is so important for Nona’s character. She keeps Nona grounded, having something to care for and showing her the beauties of friendship and connections between people. Clera of course was really her first friend at the convent but they do not have a connect at all like what she does with Hessa. And they do have a literal connection, but their roots are connected and the ordeal of the shield pushed that further. I have a difficult time explaining it, but I looking at what they had was really beautiful (forgive me for repetition). And that’s what made Hessa’s death hit so hard. That whole climax sequence was ridiculously well written from Lawrence, we get to jump between Hessa and Nona at the height of desperation and danger. Both of their lives and so much more on the line with each being helpless in what they can do to each other; yet they get to see, feel, and understand what is happening to the other. And as easy as it would be for Hessa to have killed Yisht and succeed probably what Nona would do in a second, Hessa’s compassion held strong while Nona had to watch and do nothing while Hessa fails and dies. And all of that there gave Nona the passion and strength to survive. Hessa gave her life and everything and despite failing sort of acted as path for Nona to follow and win. And it’s easy to see how that will live in and affect Nona (and again more wanting to talk about Grey Sister).

Now I guess I need to talk about Clera. I really liked her as a character. She is a lot like Nona: gifted, smart, rule breaker, brazen. Though she lacks some of the softer things Nona has like her compassion (just look at how they treated the trainees at the Caltess). And I feel like Clera could even be looked at as what Nona could have been if she just succumbed to her rage and passion completely and hadnt learned compassion and care from people like Hessa, Glass, and Ara. Lawrence made it really clear through the book that Clera was going to go bad from the warning Nona got about Clera and friendship from Glass (I think it was), to her fascination with money and wanting to leave the convent, her deal with Partnis, etc etc. But even though it’s clear, you keep wanting to believe in her. Just like Nona. I like to believe Nona had to know way longer than her blatant suspicion near the end but like the reader, never wanted to believe it. And that makes her such a good villain and makes her betrayal hurt a lot.

Now finally I want to mention my thoughts on just a few other things. Darla was a highlight for me despite her small role in the book (Grey Sister ahhhhh). Her and Nona’s growing relationship after their initial fight was nice to see and became on of my favorite small characters by the end. And another big highlight is Ara. She is a character that has a lot to her, but I wish she had more of a spotlight. Her and Nona’s relationship is sweet and I really want to see them grow closer and how their relationship develops, but I assume that is left to Grey Sister and I haven’t gotten there so I can’t complain too much. Though I do feel bad for her since she really lost so much. She isn’t even the Argatha and Nona is still the shield and she is just kind of there. I want to see what becomes of her as the series goes onward. Honestly there’s so much more I could keep going on and on about and maybe I will make another post going deeper into my thoughts on specific things since this was mainly just a general thought dump of my initial reactions after finishing the book. Overall I was amazed. It felt like a rollercoaster just in my thoughts as I traversed this journey Lawrence laid out I want to just read more.

[derpyslurpy-da-derp-master]

All the personal asks plz

Alrighty then!

1. Any scars?

Mhm, pretty much all the scars I have are burns. One is from burning the side of my arm on an iron my mom had  standing upright that I brushed against trying to reach something on the counter behind it and I’ve got one or two other scars from my culinary class on my hands from trying to put a tray in the oven and bumping it on the rungs above the ones I was putting it on. I burnt my hand day one of actually cooking. Yes I’m a disaster.

2. Self harmed?

Absolutely not. One, I’m too scared of pain, and two, I have uh… An unpleasant history involving someone else threatening self harm to make me do what they wanted, so… It’s a really sore spot for me.

3. Crush?

I honestly have no idea.

4. Kissed anyone?

Nope

5. Coke or Pepsi?

Neither they make me physically ill

6. Someone you hate?

There’s a LOT of assholes at my school but the person I hate the most is probably my dad for reasons.

7. Best Friends?

Mhm! I’ve got a handful on this site but my IRL best friend is @theansweris-a. She doesn’t really get on tumblr anymore but if you’re reading this I love you friendo and have a good day! :D

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

hahaha fuCK NO. I’d rather not get addicted to something that can and will kill me and throw my money at people to sustain it. If someone offered me either I’d probably flip them off whilst slowly backing up and getting tf out of there because NO.

9. What’s your dream job?

Author/Illustrator with some VA work and Video Game directing on the side.

10. Ever been in love?

I have. It was with someone I didn’t have a chance with and who would be an absolutely awful lover to me since we weren’t compatible emotion-wise so I let it go. It was hard, but I did it.

11. Last time you cried?

Last Sunday trying to explain to my mom why our preacher and the church we go to has completely fallen out of my favor for it’s very loud blatant ‘LGBT people are bad abortion is evil insert other white conservative stuff here’ ‘cause she doesn’t know I’m LGBT+ (and it’s going to stay that way) and I was trying to explain to her why I would never say invite my LGBT friends to church because they would be mercilessly persecuted by people who call themselves followers of God then spit in his eye by doing the exact opposite of everything he’s asked of them. Yes I still feel really strongly about this.

12. Favorite color?

Cyan!

13. Height?

How coincidence, I just got it measured today! 5′6, FINALLY OFFICIALLY TALLER THEN MY MOM MUHAHAHAHAHA

14. Birthday?

November 17th!

15. Eye color?

Milk chocolately-brown

16. Hair color?

Dark brown

17. What do you love?

this is so open ended hjkfjfjkhgkjh okay then I love girls, video games, anime, writing, drawing, reading, and animals.

18. Obsession?

My top 3 in order of obsession; Kill La Kill, RWBY, and Kingdom Hearts.

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

For every single illness, disease, syndrome, disorder, and so on to have a cure. From Cancer to Asthma. Both because I have so many incurable diseases/disorders and because I know there are people out there who have things so much worse than me in that department.

20. Do you love someone?

I love all my mutals, friends, and most of my family including extended family. 

21. Kiss or hug?

I’ve never been kissed so I don’t know anything about how that would be so I’d say hug because I love hugs!

22. Nicknames people call you?

Derpy, Slurpy, D-Slur, Resident Cinnamon Roll (That’s my actual nickname on a Revue Starlight discord)

23. Favorite song?

this is like asking me to pick my favorite child uhhhhh… This Life Is Mine by Jeff Williams, it just means a lot to me.

24. Favorite band?

i know no bands by name

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

….Okay, uh, this is gonna be really hard to decide because a LOT of bad things have happened to me. I’ll go with the more physical choice because I’d rather not dump too much of my emotional baggage onto yall. One time I was being prepped for surgery and they needed to get the IV in. (for the record I’m shaking pretty badly right now from thinking about this) They had to stab my arm with what they called a ‘Bee sting’ (it wasn’t a bee sting it goes almost down to the bone) that had numbing stuff in it and they were trying to find a vein they could put my IV in but they couldn’t find one (okay now i’m typing really fast so I don’t have to think about this for long) and they kept stabbing my arm over and over again. The thing is I have a serious phobia of needles that sends me into panic attacks, I’ll go lightheaded I’ll lose my hearing and so on. So I was trying to put a brave face on despite my parents not even being there but they would. not. stop. They didn’t give me a break. It was one stab then another then another then another. I was having a full blown panic attack, I was almost crying. Then they seemed to get it. They left me for a bit and my parents came in. My arm started swelling. They HADNT got it. My arm was being filled with whatever my IV was. They came back in with the beesting. They started stabbing me again but on the other arm. I couldn’t keep a brave face anymore after thinking they were finally done. I started to cry and sob and the panic attack I had that day was the single worst I have ever had. It got worse. They missed a vein entirely and instead hit a bundle of nerves. My hand started involuntarily twitching as pain unlike any I’ve ever felt before or until now wracked my arm. I had actual trauma from this, the night after the surgery I kept feeling ghost pains of the stabs in my arms, I had to sleep on my stomach with my arms wrapped around my front just to make them go away. I’m still extremely traumatized of this to this day. I never want to have surgery again. I never want an IV again. 

Okay that got away from me there I’m sorry I kinda was having a panic attack while writing that. Anyways moving on.

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

This is gonna sound cheesy but meeting @theansweris-a. She’s the sweetest and kindest person I have ever met in my entire life and I feel so incredibly lucky to call her my friend, though knowing her she’ll see this and reply with ‘No U’ because we always end up in a shouting match of ‘YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING’ ‘NO YOU’RE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING’ 

27. Something you would change about yourself?

I definitely would lose weight. Not because of societies bullshit but because I legitimately want to lose weight so I can actually get strong and build up some muscle, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO OPEN GATORADE BOTTLES GODDAMNIT

28. Ever dated someone?

Nope, I’m closeted and have no interest in even pretending I’m straight by dating a guy, I mean I know some genuinely nice guys (all of them dorks) but they’re all just my friends though they are massive goofballs and I love them very much. (Entirely platonically)

29. Worst mistake?

I… Don’t think you guys wanna know that. It’s nothing bad its just depressing and I don’t wanna be more depressing then I already have been.

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

Depends on which is better, like I’d rather watch the Chronicles of Narnia than read the books because the books are honestly terrible but I’d rather read Percy Jackson than watch the movie because the movies are incredibly unfaithful to the books.

31. Ever had a heartbreak?

Yeah… 

32. Favorite show?

Kill La Kill!

33. Best day of your life?

My cheesiness never ceases but the first time I actually hung out with @theansweris-a IRL at the mall. I remember being SO excited for it but also nervous that how easily we talk to each other wouldn’t translate into real life and I remember spotting her walking up and practically shouting her name before running up and giving her a big ol’ hug whilst crying happy tears (I know i’m sappy shut up) and then when we were let loose to walk around we quickly discovered that we clicked almost immediately and incredibly well it was just the best thing ever. Like, in that one day alone we spent six hours in that mall just chatting and buying stuff and having fun and we left the mall with like three different inside jokes despite it being our first time meeting in person since we first met. Hi my name is Derpy and I’m a big ol’ sap.

34. Any talents?

I’m pretty good at writing, I can type really fast, and I can play the harmonica.

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

Absolutely not. Things are the way they are for a reason, and even though I’ve been through a LOT it’s because of all that that I’m the person I am today and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

36. Any bad habits?

Yeah, I’m a nail biter.

37. Ever had a near death experience?

Yes actually, when I was 3 or 4 we took a plane to California to visit some relatives and I almost walked out of the air hatch one the way out, I remember this vividly even though it was a long time ago. If it wasn’t for the flight attendant grabbing me before I fell out, I wouldn’t be here today.

38. Someone I can tell anything to?

@theansweris-a and @my-words-are-light, they’re both really good listeners and have helped me through a lot of stuff.

39. Ever lost a loved one?

My Great Grandpa Ritch died shortly after I was born, there’s a lot of pictures of him smiling and holding me while in a hospital bed and hooked up to oxygen.

40. Do you believe in love?

Oh absolutely, 100%. I mean if you know me you already know that I have just ABSURD amounts of love in my heart and I genuinely believe that it exists.

41. Someone you hate/Dislike?

Wasn’t this already a question?

42. Are you okay?

Mostly, yeah. I have some stuff to work on but I’m honestly at the best i’ve ever been!

43. Relationship status?

I’m a Single Pringle