#i just love everything about them and this episode so much

[pinegreenapples]

Radiostatic Fic Recs Part 3!

Hello everyone! I'm back again with a third installment in fics that I believe are great reads! A quick reminder as always, read the tags and if you don't like something, just tab out! The previous parts can be found here. Part 1 | Part 2

Finished

Sound Effect!

This is a silly little crackfic by the beloved ohdeercoffee! It features proto Vox who has been cursed to be a silent film where all his speech is shown as title cards. This leads to a misunderstanding between him and Alastor, but everyone walks away pleased with the aftermath.

Wallow

This series is heartbreaking. It had me shedding real tears as I read it. Alastor and Vox reckoning with the aftermath of their falling out and the mistakes they made that have cost each other everything.

Oh, I'm gonna be wounded/Oh, you're gonna be my wound

Alastor spends an evening devouring Vox as he watches through his cameras. They end up talking about some things afterwards.

Questionable Attachment

Alastor goes to Vee Tower to mess with Vox because he's bored. They end up kissing and Alastor finds himself consumed with the thought of kissing Vox again.

a glass full of love

Alastor accidentally gets dosed with love potion and falls madly in love with Vox. Vox is milking it for everything he can get.

Playing the Victim

As always, I am a sucker for lykomancer's stories and this one is no different. Vox captures Alastor and implants various hypnotic codes in his psyche before fucking him.

Unsurpassable skills in espionage

Vox manages to collect dirt on the hotel that could ruin them, Alastor is tasked with retrieving said dirt because he's so well versed in subterfuge, and not, as Angel claims, because Vox wants to fuck him.

Two for the Show

This fic was so good! There's something about ohdeercoffee's smut that is just absolutely delectable. Alastor has a little game he plays each time he goes into rut. He goes to bars and flirts with sinners only to blue ball them the second they leave the bar. This time Alastor spots a peculiar looking sinner with a box for a head and decides he will be his next victim.

(Temporary) Truce

Alastor is going through heat after seven years away from Hell. Vox notices the signs and steps in to help.

The Trials and Tribulations of Alastor's Cursed Pussy

As you can imagine from the title, this series deals with Alastor going through estrus and the various points in their relationship that Vox has helped Alastor through it. This series is in turn sexy, funny, and heart wrenching.

Haven

This fic is so sad but so wonderful. Alastor is so desperately worried for his friend and it provides a wonderful characterization of his inner monologue. Vox pisses off another overlord and is kidnapped. Alastor searches the whole of Pentagram City to find him and bring him home.

Two Halves of a Whole Idiot

Alastor goes into heat and chases Vox down as part of a mating ritual. Vox is super into it. They end up fucking about it.

Man or Machine

Vox has just finished another surgical upgrade and Alastor becomes curious as to how much of Vox remains organic and how much has turned mechanical. He conducts his own investigation.

Thought Contagion

Vox works until he drops and Alastor finds it funny to keep a tally of all the silly places Vox has ended up passed out in. During this latest instance, Vox starts to dream and Alastor finds himself drawn to the fantasy displayed on his screen.

Epitaph

This fic is very sad, much hurt and no comfort. Alastor finally commits the inevitable and deals with the fall out of his own needs.

Shadow of Yourself

Another delectable smut piece by the beloved princeliest! Alastor lets slip that he and his shadow share sensation and Vox decides to bring that to the bedroom.

Coup de foudre

The hotel hosts a party to celebrate their win against the exorcists. Alastor meets Vox again and finds himself weak to the man's charms even after decades apart.

Meet Me at My Frequency

Starting after episode 2, Vox's actions push him and Alastor to actually reconcile with each other. The rest of the series follows the rest of canon with some small twists prompted by their rekindled relationship.

Even Exchange

So sad but it has a happy ending! A very nice fic for some good catharsis and exploring Vox's complicated feelings for Alastor. Heaven plans a larger attack and Alastor and Charlie meet with other overlords to secure their support. The Vees agree and join the fight. Vox sustains a major injury.

Video Fucked The Radio Star

Alastor comes to pick up Angel from the studio and Valentino bites him. Unfortunately for Alastor, Val's venom is a potent aphrodisiac. Vox offers to help him through it.

Floating, Where You Belong

This is a delightfully dark fic where Vox hypnotizes and mind breaks Alastor into his own personal sex kitten.

The New and Novel

Alastor grows curious about Vox's hypnotism and he asks Vox to use it on him while they have sex. The end results are very worth it.

Boredom Ruins Everything

Alastor feels particularly vulnerable after his fight with Adam and he worries that he might be overpowered and taken advantage of. This leads him to make a deal with Vox to ensure his own peace of mind. Mostly a smut series, but a very good smut series! Binturong Rose has an excellent grasp of the push-pull between these two and masterfully incorporates that in their sex life.

You'll Know

Alastor's first sexual encounter was deeply disappointing. So much so, that he's never attempted something like that again. After meeting and falling in love with Vox, he decides to give it another try and finds that perhaps sex isn't all bad after all.

Shadows and Light

This fic has been rewritten and this is its newest iteration! Vox brings home his latest film to watch with Alastor. Watching it together brings out some unexpected revelations.

So An Author & A Serial Killer Go On A Date

This one's super cute! Based on a well known tumblr prompt, Alastor and Vox meet because Alastor is a serial killer and Vox is a murder novelist and they have been searching similar things on the internet.

In Your Dreams, Old Pal

Vox has been dreaming of Alastor and himself together for a while. Alastor decides to take a peek and is disgusted to find the simpering dream version of him Vox has made. In a fit of rage, he eats his dream counterpart and accidentally seals his own fate. Now he has to play the part of himself every night in Vox's dreams.

Background Noise

A fluffy fic about Alastor's hooves and how cute Vox finds them!

Nothing Above the Knee

A smutty fic of Vox deeply appreciating Alastor's hooves!

Red Bow Tie

Alastor reminisces on the past and his current relationship with Vox. A bittersweet piece about what could have been and what still is.

golden rule, it's just for show!

An unfortunate incident at an overlord meeting turns all the overlords back to their human forms. Alastor finds himself mesmerized by the slight figure Vox cuts and resolves to make him his.

Brand me (so I'll have a reason to be mad)

This fic is super sexy. I really enjoyed the erotica and characterization of the two. Vox presents Alastor with a piece of jewelry with his brand on it. Alastor ridicules him for it, but does he really consider the piece as tacky as he claims?

Sinking Funds

Alastor discovers that Vox has given him the most exclusive credit card one can get in Hell and decides to take it for a spin to see how much Vox cares about Alastor spending his money.

You Want It Rough, You're Out Of Bounds

I will forever and always be a huge Mothball Milkshake fan. Any time they write radiostatic, I am running to read it. Here, Moth took a break from Signals to give us a lovely smutty fic. Alastor and Vox have finally started up a relationship of sorts. They've had sex several times but vox has never been able to make Alastor come. He's determined to change that tonight!

Wind Me Up and Break Me Down

Another fic by the wonderful Mothball Milkshake! (As I said, I am their number one fan lol) This is loosely connected to the above fic but can be read separately. Vox ties Alastor up and worships his body.

scatterbrain

This fic is sweet and hilarious. Alastor discovers that sleeping is technically optional in Hell and stops sleeping for several decades. Lilith steps in and forces him to sleep until he is fully rested.

The Merman

For my Vox merman lovers, come eat! Alastor has heard tale of these merfolk and has been working to capture one for study. He stumbles across Vox and he attempts to capture him. Vox is amused and decides to keep the pretty human that tried to capture him.

In Season

This fic is cute and funny! A little cracky but a good read! Vox and Alastor used to spend their autumn rut/heat together since both their sinner forms went into heat/rut at the same time. Even as enemies, they kept this arrangement. As Alastor goes into his first rut after his sabbatical, he fully expects Vox to join him like normal. However, Vox is not happy that he got left in the lurch for seven years and refuses to cave to his desires.

Research and Development

Velvette and Valentino are sick of Vox constantly obsessing over Alastor and order him to do something about it. He ends up creating a virtual reality so that he can finally fuck Alastor and maybe get it out of his system. However, the program seems to have other ideas.

when the flies fell

A modern day human AU wherein Alastor convinces Vox to help him summon a demon. This has worse consequences than either of them foresaw as they race to fix their mistake.

Unfinished

Harlem Sunset

Set after the events of episode 2. Alastor approaches Vox to propose scheduled brawls outside of the city. Vox decides to take him up on it and it sets in motion a chain of events that can't be stopped. Just a small note, none of the fight scenes are on camera, so to speak, in the fic. However, the developing relationship is sweet and I am enjoying it a lot!

My Body, Your Temple

This is a masterfully done human AU set in the 1930s. Vox comes down to New Orleans in an effort to poach New Orleans' very own Alastor Deveaux, Alastor finds him absolutely insufferable. They find themselves drawn into each other's orbit and find themselves tangled in an all consuming desire for one another.

Believe Me, (The Sun Always Shines on TV)

In a fit of rage, Valentino damages Vox's head so badly that he can't fix it himself, so he goes to the one person he knows can piece him back together. Doing so forces both Alastor and Vox to confront the ugly history between them.

Summer Wine

Charlie strikes a deal with Heaven to trial run redemption with a sinner of her choosing. By pure accident, Vox and Alastor are selected instead and must work together as they find themselves back on Earth in the modern day.

Perhaps it's Pedestrian

Okay so I normally have a rule that a fic has to have at least three chapters before I toss it up on the list because I always hate clicking on rec lists that are full of one chapter WIPS. However, this fic is so long and wonderfully written for the two chapters it does have that it deserves a spot so more people can go encourage the author with kudos and comments!

Vox and Val break up again and Vox goes to a bar to drink and find a one night stand. Alastor makes that much harder than it should be to do so.

Animal Natures

Another favorite by the dear lykomancer! This time it's a series. As the title suggests, Alastor goes into rut and Vox helps him through it. Unfortunately, Alastor likes it a little too much and now that's Vox's fault, somehow.

For the sake of research and understanding

Alastor is curious about why others seem so obsessed with sex, so he goes to his good pal Vox to ask him to explain to him. One thing leads to another, and Vox finds himself giving a practical demonstration.

An Unforgettable Debut | 1961

After several years of hard work, Vox is finally ready to launch his own studio and has thrown a huge party to celebrate. Unfortunately for him, someone has ordered a hit out on one of the Radio Demon's companions and he's been caught in the crossfire. Will he be able to make it to his party on time?

Modulation Missteps

I'm really enjoying this fic and the worldbuilding the author has put in to make a comprehensive narrative. This is a Human AU where Vox and Alastor were childhood best friends who separated. Years later, Vox forces a reconnect and they have to work through all the ugly emotions they've both been harboring for over a decade.

Now only dogs follow me (Is He Following?)

Several years ago, Vox was an incredible detective solving serial killer cases until he suffered a mental break and was fired. After finally getting his life back on track, all his progress is threatened as a new killer comes to town and the department needs him again. Luckily, he finds support in his old childhood friend, Alastor.

it's not murder, it's research and waste disposal

Okay so. This guy is dark and very gory. And I do mean that a lot. Please read the tags before diving into this fic, it is absolutely not for the faint of heart and it has even grossed me out a few times. That said, it is beautifully written and the relationship between Alastor and Vox is simply divine.

Vox moves to New Orleans and meets Alastor and immediately falls in love. Alastor wishes Vox would choke and die until he finds Vox attempting to dump a body in the bayou and suddenly Vox is so much more interesting.

@00sukisuki00 @15prime8 @19vv91 @3oddsocks69 @ach0ndrit3 @adeala3in1 @ali3npuppyy @alice-after-dark @alice-on-elm-street @almaquinzel @animefanboy48 @anon4usfickly @arleney @aroace-axolotl @aseplant @av0ryx22 @awasteofyourtime @ayoaloe @az13478809 @barblesgirl @beamie-24 @beloved-riverbank @bigsongtraveler @bookworm-blogs @borckschav @bratpfanne-of-doom @brayanneitor @bruhjoll @burrito-me-batman @bv-l7a @camillekarnage @carchee-sh @catgirl-catboy @celenepolaris @charmeecoffee @cheeseindeed @classystudentmiracleus @coins-that-never-land @cpyclopse @creatrajournal @scrumii @cryptidinprogress @d3ath4mybirthday @dancingafterdark @dancingthere @darkenthusiastearthquake @deaddeerdonoteat @dible-png @diequeeria @dragengyrr

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[iloveacaibowls111]

A Love Unborn

synopsis: sequel to Wifey Material, angst with hurt comfort.

TW: Miscarriage is mentioned throughout (not described in extreme detail)

A/N: Once again like the previous post I got heavily inspired by Charlotte York as I had just watched the SATC episode where she unfortunately miscarriages. I even referenced the Tiffany baby rattle ☹️.

As you sat on the toilet, you couldn’t bear to turn over the pregnancy test on the sink. You and Nanami had been trying for a baby for about 2 months now and so far there were no apparent fruits of your labour. You were beginning to lose hope when your period was gone for 2 weeks. So, you did the sensible thing and dragged one of your good friends, Nicole, out and to buy a pregnancy test with you.

“What if I’m not?” You anxiously ask, finger repeatedly tapping the pregnancy test box.

“What if you are?” Nicole replied, taking the box away from your anxious hands. “And if you’re not, that’s okay. It’s normal. You are 26, not 56. I’m sure you have tons of eggs left waiting for sperm to fill them up.”

“Ew, don’t say that.” You laugh. “But you’re right.” 

Nicole took your arm and dragged you to the pharmacy counter. She gave you a slight hug, reiterating her support for you. 

———

Your heart was pounding in your chest as the two minutes slowly took place. Nanami was at work but he had promised you that when you got the news you would call him straight away. As the timer on your phone blared out, you took a deep breath and slowly reached out for the test. With shaking hands, you picked it up and slowly brought it in front of you. Now, your whole body was pretty much shaking and there was a part of you that didn’t want to turn over the test, didn’t want to come in terms with the fact that you were not pregnant, again. 

You can do this, you thought to yourself before you finally turned it around. Your eyes immediately saw the two lines, clear as a summer’s day. You screamed in exhilaration, jumping up and down joyfully. You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe it. A surge of joy and disbelief washed over you as you stared at the test, double-checking the two unmistakable lines that confirmed it. Tears pricked your eyes, and your hands flew to your mouth as you tried to hold back the rush of emotions. You had imagined this moment so many times, but nothing prepared you for the overwhelming wave of happiness now that it was real.

You grabbed your phone with trembling fingers, scrolling to Nanami’s number. You held your breath as the phone rang, heartbeat thumping in anticipation. When he picked up, his warm, familiar voice instantly made you feel at ease.

“Hey, love,” he said, his tone instantly comforting. “Everything okay? Did you take the test?”

“Yes,” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper, already thick with emotion.

There was a pause as he held his breath, waiting. “And…?” His voice softened, a mix of hope and gentle anticipation.

You could feel your heart swelling with happiness as you spoke, “It’s positive, Nanami. I’m pregnant!” The words were full of joy, like they couldn’t wait to tumble out.

You heard him inhale sharply, a stunned silence on the other end as he absorbed the news. Then, a quiet, relieved laugh escaped him. “We did it,” he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. “We’re going to be parents.”

“Yes, we’re really going to be parents,” you said, tears spilling down your cheeks as you laughed, the joy bubbling up in both of you. “It actually happened.”

“I can’t believe it,” he said, his voice low, almost reverent. “I knew we were hoping, but… hearing you say it out loud—this feels incredible.” He paused, and you could hear the soft emotion in his voice. “Thank you, my love, for making this dream come true with me.”

The two of you shared a moment of silent wonder on the phone, both overwhelmed by the reality of what lay ahead. You could practically feel his warmth through the line, his hand reaching out for yours in spirit, holding on as the reality of this new adventure took hold. After a moment, he spoke, his tone warm and full of love. “I’ll be home as soon as I can. We need to celebrate this together.”

———

When Nanami finally came through the door later, he was practically glowing with happiness, his face breaking into a wide smile the moment he saw you. Without a word, he crossed the room, pulling you close and holding you tightly. After a moment, he leaned back, one hand drifting to your stomach as he met your eyes, his gaze full of warmth and quiet joy.

“This is it,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe. “Our family is beginning.”

You placed your hand over his, feeling a shared surge of excitement and tenderness. “It’s really happening, Nanami. We’re going to be parents.”

His smile softened, and he bent down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for everything. I can’t wait to go through this journey with you.”

“I have a surprise for you…” Nanami began, reaching behind his back to produce a small blue box wrapped with a white bow. His gaze softened as he held it out to you. “I bought this when we first decided on having a baby.”

Your heart fluttered as you took the box from his hands, carefully untying the bow. Inside was a beautiful Tiffany baby rattle, gleaming and elegant. It looked just like the one Charlotte had in SATC.

“Kento! It’s just like Charlotte York’s!” you exclaimed, a mix of joy and nostalgia filling your voice. “I love it.”

Nanami’s smile warmed, his eyes holding a gentle pride as he watched your reaction. Wrapped in his arms, you could not wait for the future where your little family was just a little bigger.

———

A month later, you and Nanami had already begun planning for the baby.  The spare room, which had once served as your closet overflow space, was slowly being transformed into a nursery. 

“Pastel yellow for the walls, please. We don’t know the gender yet!” You inform the painter who just gave you a caring smile. You felt almost giddy with joy from the past month. Every evening, Nanami and you would sit together, pouring over lists of essentials, talking about baby names, and picturing what life would be like as parents. 

As you left the painter to begin painting the walls, you suddenly felt a sharp pang in your stomach. You suddenly felt uneasiness in your stomach. The sharp pang brought you to a standstill, your hand instinctively moving to cradle your stomach. You took a shaky breath, trying to convince yourself it was nothing—just an ordinary cramp, something minor. But the feeling lingered, gnawing and unsettling, and your heart sank as worry took root.

Nanami was at work, so you texted him quickly, keeping it light: “Feeling a bit off, but I’m sure it’s fine.” You didn't want to alarm him, and part of you wanted to believe it was nothing to worry about. But when the pain returned, sharper this time, you found yourself reaching for your phone again, and before you knew it, you were calling him.

“Hey,” he answered, his voice immediately shifting to concern. “What’s wrong?”

You hesitated, not wanting to voice the fear building inside of you. “I… I think something might be wrong,” you whispered, the words tasting bitter and strange. “Can you come home?”

He promised he’d be there as soon as possible, and you could hear the worry in his voice even as he tried to stay calm for your sake. Waiting for him felt endless, each second stretching longer as the uneasiness grew into dread. You wanted to believe that everything was fine, that it was just your mind playing tricks on you.

———

When Nanami finally arrived, he rushed to your side, taking one look at you before pulling you into his arms. “Let’s go,” he said softly, guiding you to the car, his hand firmly in yours the entire time. The drive to the hospital was quiet, tense. He kept glancing over at you, giving your hand small, reassuring squeezes, his jaw tight, though he kept his worry hidden as best he could.

At the hospital, things happened too quickly and yet painfully slow—machines, concerned faces, hushed voices. They asked you questions, too many questions, and you barely had the energy to answer. All you could feel was the coldness of the room, the heaviness pressing in on you. Nanami held your hand the entire time, his presence grounding you as you waited, desperate for answers, but terrified of what they might say.

When the doctor finally spoke, her voice gentle and filled with the kind of sympathy you’d hoped you’d never have to hear, the words barely registered at first. “I’m so sorry… but unfortunately, you’ve lost the baby.” Her voice was soft, but the words struck like a hammer, shattering the fragile hope you’d clung to.

You stared at her, numb, unable to comprehend what she was saying. Beside you, Nanami’s grip tightened on your hand, his face pale as he absorbed the news, his eyes brimming with the same disbelief, the same anguish that you felt. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he simply pulled you close, holding you tightly as you both fell apart.

———

Back home, the apartment felt different—empty, echoing with a silence that seemed to mock the joy and laughter that had filled it just days before. The room that had started becoming a nursery now felt haunting, a reminder of the life you’d imagined, a future that had vanished before it had even truly begun. You stood in the doorway, staring at the freshly painted yellow walls, feeling like a stranger in a place that had once held so much hope.

“Well, I guess there was no need to pay the painter to do the walls that colour. ” You said, your voice strained. 

Nanami wrapped his arms around you from behind, his face buried in your shoulder as he whispered, “I’m so sorry… I wish I could take this pain away from you.”

You reached up, placing your hand over his, tears spilling down your cheeks. “I wanted this so much,” you choked out, your voice cracking. “I wanted to give us a family. I wanted—” Your words faltered, lost in the ache that seemed to consume every part of you.

He turned you around to face him, his own eyes red-rimmed, tears slipping silently down his cheeks. “It’s not your fault,” he said, his voice filled with a fierce, quiet determination. 

But you couldn’t bear to look at him. “But it is,” you choked out, pulling back, the weight of guilt pressing down on you. “I couldn’t do the one thing I was supposed to do. I couldn’t give us a baby.” Your voice broke, and the words spilled out, raw and painful. You turned away from his reach, feeling a need to retreat, to let the numbness consume you. “I’m… I’m going to bed,” you murmured, barely recognising your own voice.

“Y/N…” Nanami called out, walking towards you.

“Please.” You cried out, “I need to be alone right now.”

———

The next few days were a blur. People came by, offering condolences, leaving flowers, cards, and soft words meant to soothe. But none of it reached you. Nothing could fill the empty hole in your heart. You felt as if you’d never be whole again, as if nothing could bring colour back into your world.

“She hasn’t left the bedroom in three days,” Nanami said quietly in the kitchen, his voice heavy with worry. His gaze lingered on the closed door of your bedroom. “There’s nothing I can say or do to get her out.”

Gojo, Geto, Shoko, and Utahime exchanged worried glances from where they sat in the living room, concern etched deeply on their faces. After a moment, Utahime took a breath and nodded, determination sparking in her eyes. “Let us try,” she said, standing up and urging Shoko to follow her.

They approached your bedroom door, knocking softly before opening it just a crack. Inside, they found you lying motionless on the bed, staring blankly into the dim shadows. You hadn’t touched your phone, hadn’t moved much at all. Even the warmth of your blankets felt oppressive, weighing you down like a heavy fog.

“Can we come in?” Utahime asked gently, her voice a soft, steady presence.

You didn’t respond, and the silence stretched on, but they took it as permission, quietly entering and sitting down on either side of the bed. Shoko rested a comforting hand on your shoulder, while Utahime sat beside you, a silent, patient presence.

“Everyone’s really worried about you,” Shoko murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to go through this alone, you know.”

You swallowed, throat tight, their words stirring something deep within you—a tangled knot of grief and shame. “I just… I don’t know how to get past this,” you admitted, your voice hoarse.

Utahime’s expression softened as she reached over, taking your hand in hers. “No one’s expecting you to be ‘over it,’” she said gently. “But shutting us out, pushing everyone away… it’s only going to make it harder.”

The weight of her words pressed on you, but you shook your head slowly, retreating further into yourself. “I’m sorry… I just can’t.”

Seeing your hesitation, Shoko and Utahime exchanged a glance. They gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze, a reminder of their presence, and eventually retreated, leaving you alone in the quiet.

Later, Gojo and Geto took their turn, determined to draw you out of the darkness that had swallowed you. They knocked lightly and entered, each trying to bring a sense of comfort and normalcy with them. Gojo made a few jokes, his tone soft but hopeful, while Geto spoke quietly, sharing small memories and moments that they thought might bring you some solace.

But no matter what they tried, you remained closed off, your eyes fixed on the floor, barely responding. Nothing they said seemed to reach you, as if you were wrapped in an impenetrable cocoon of sorrow.

Finally, Gojo sighed, his usual confidence softened by helplessness. “We’re here whenever you’re ready,” he said gently, his eyes searching your face. “Just… don’t shut us out forever, alright?”

You didn’t respond, but his words echoed in the silence as they quietly left, the room growing colder and quieter in their absence.

———

A few days later, Nanami sat across from you in the quiet of the living room, his formal suit neatly pressed, though his face was creased with hesitation. He had been invited to a gala event for his company, but he seemed reluctant to leave, his gaze drifting back to you, worry etched in his eyes.

“I don’t have to go,” he said softly, his hand resting on yours. “I can stay here with you.”

“No, please go.” You smile faintly, touching his hand. 

He stared at you for a while, trying to make out what you were thinking. “Fine. But text me throughout the night, so I know you’re okay.” He stood up trying to find his tie. 

You managed a faint nod, only half hearing him. Your eyes had caught on something across the room—the Tiffany baby rattle, resting on a shelf. The very one Nanami had surprised you with all those weeks ago. It was a quiet symbol of a future you’d both dreamed of, a future that felt so close, once.

Your chest tightened as you stared at the toy, a flood of emotions rushing in—grief, yes, but something else as well. A part of you ached to hold onto the sorrow, to stay hidden away from the world. But looking at the tiny rattle, you felt an unexpected warmth stir within you. The memory of that hope, that dream, wasn’t gone. It wasn’t erased.

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your grief soften, just enough for you to breathe without it pressing down on you. And as you exhaled, something inside you whispered that maybe it was time to step forward, even if it felt impossible. You weren’t ready to let go completely, but you could try to live with the memory, rather than solely in the grief of it.

As you peered over at Nanami who had changed into his white shirt and was standing opposite a mirror, tying his tie. You couldn’t help but feel a surge of love and affection. He was your husband, for better or for worse. 

“I think…” you began, surprising even yourself with the words. You looked up at Nanami, who was watching you with a mix of worry and gentle encouragement. “I think I want to go with you.”

He blinked, clearly taken aback, but a small, hopeful smile spread across his face. “Are you sure?”

You nodded, a tiny, tentative smile pulling at your lips. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. I… I think I need to try.”

Nanami’s relief was palpable as he took your hand, squeezing it warmly. Without another word, he guided you to your room, gently setting out a gown you’d worn before—a piece that made you feel elegant, strong. You took your time, steadying yourself as you got ready, every small step a quiet victory.

By the time you emerged, Nanami’s smile had widened, his pride evident as he took in the sight of you. He offered you his arm, and you took it, feeling a newfound strength, a fragile but determined spark within you.

As you left together, you felt, for the first time, a sliver of hope breaking through the clouds.

[thecoolerliauditore]

saw you mention gender for a bit - i wonder why grian is feminized so much? it's of course because of the feedback loop of fanon but how did it snowball so much? it would be funny if it's from him using the alex player model

I'm probably not the guy to ask for this just to be clear right off the back. I love observing fandom trends but I'm just not keeping an eye on Grian stuff more often than not. Grain (lol) of salt, blah blah blah.

So first off I think we should tackle what "feminized" means in this context because I can see that argument being made for both the default-ish generic young anime guy grian I have in my head when I think "fanon grian" and. well. arianna griande and the like (I'd argue cuteguy falls into this latter category)

I'm gonna start with the first one and use my own Grian as an example because I think he's pretty much as standard as you can go in the former category, and that's more or less on purpose. Pictured here in all of his tiny anime twink glory (next to Joel and Cleo who are also meant to be pretty short!)

So while I can't read the minds of other Grian artists, I can offer what went through my head when I designed mine and try to have a guess at how much other people thought the same.

First things first I do think this specific brand of Grian is "feminized" -- if you compare him to the CC. The goal at least for me was more to communicate youthfulness than femininity, but those traits tend to go hand in hand with male characters due to them having pretty much the same features (no facial/body hair is a big one).

Artists in this fandom tend to swing on the younger side, and people tend to base their designs unconsciously (or consciously tbh) on themselves or media they like, the latter being very likely to be media aimed at their age group and thus having a cast of characters around their age. Doesn't help that most popular animated things are made for younger audiences, so chances are most people are basing their art styles in media where the casts age range is 12-25.

For me I do think most of my designs have a little bit of added in youthfulness/femininity unless I Really want to get across age/masculinity. It's a lot easier to separate the 30 year olds from the 40 year olds if the 30 year olds look a bit closer to 20, doubly so when most of the stuff I like (and thus reference from purposefully or not) has casts full of 15 year olds. Alot of this also applies to the other younger men in my designs aside from Grian, like Joel who's next to him.

But Joel is still drawn with stubble and a bit taller than Grian, so what gives about Grian specifically?

For me personally, I draw everything with the Life Series in mind, especially Third Life in Grian's case. And the character who Grian plays off the most in that series, especially in Third Life, is Scar.

While I do think the aforementioned age factor also impacts a lot of Scar designs (as well as younger artists' tendency towards shyness when drawing muscles), I think most people see Scar's masculinity as a key trait of his. I think I'm kind of unique in that I take descriptions of their appearances ingame as somewhat canon (e.g. Scott being canonically referred to as "handsome") but Scar really lays it on thick with "Hot Guy" and the abs and so on that it's pretty much screaming for acknowledgement when you're designing him.

Grian is also short irl and this even gets mentioned by Joel in the first WL episode, so it made enough sense to me that should be something exaggerated with Desert Duo's designs to make them look better next to eachother.

This is also maybe getting a bit into headcanon territory but when I think Grian I don't necessarily think predator or brute force, I think of him setting his traps and giggling maniacally and manipulating what he wants out of people with his words instead of his sword. And him just being like. a little gremlin thing compared to his Big Strong Man partner in crime whilst also, actually being arguably the more dangerous of the two feels harmonious.

If we do a layer deeper into headcanon land, I've also always seen him as more frail and physically weak due to Martyn's concern for his safety and his own more anxious nature in 3L as one of the first players to really consider having to defend himself -- if you're dropped into a death game arena and you're the smallest one there, you would naturally be a lot more nervous than the big guys and come off as more "insane" for wanting to set up seemingly unnecessary defenses or striking first. (<-- this is why I don't talk about Grian much btw all of my thoughts regarding him are seeped in headcanons lol)

Alot of Grian artists are also Desert Duo artists and while they might not be operating by the same logic I am I have to assume there's some common points.

I've seen this meme used a lot when people make fun of other peoples DD art and it's almost always people with very little self-awareness. it's funny to me (and this probably could be its own discussion about queer tropes and xenophobia, but whatever haha funny it's literally them so true so true.)

One final note on this is I think this specific brand of twink Grian might be dipping in popularity? I've been seeing a lot more Grians that are chunkier or entirely throw out his anime-main-character-ness by making his glasses or curly hair heavily exaggerated. Which is cool I especially loveeee the more cartoony puff ball grians that have gotten more popular. Idk if it's necessarily in response to the anti-twink-propaganda or if it's just a new stage in Grian design development as we get further away from the Third Life Desert Duo meta, but it's fun and I think speaks the feminizing not really being an intentional trait and more of a consequence of other things.

As for CuteGuy/Griande I can't really offer as much insight since I don't really get the appeal either lol except that I think it's fun in the way drag is fun.

I think what a lot of people need to remember when they ask for more masculine designs is that masculinity irl is often synonymous with less customization. Alot of it is practical (like short hair obviously you can't style like long hair) and especially outside of queer circles a lot of it is just gender roles -- alot of men will refuse to wear literally plain mens t shirts if it's an eye-catching colour.

There's a great Derek Guy interview where he talks about how men tend to misunderstand what "fashion" is and how most cishet men actually care deeply about fashion. He makes the example of offering two pairs of jeans -- one is a regular pair of blue jeans that costs fifty dollars and another is free of charge but happens to be pink, and how most men despite "not caring about fashion" will go for the fifty dollar blue jeans.

If you want an example of mens fashion and its "boring" aesthetics made more to fit into a crowd than to stand out, just go on instagram and look at pictures of the Empires CCs together and watch the guys get absolutely mogged. This isn't me calling the men badly dressed (in fact I've actually noticed before that CC Joel is like. super well put together) but more of a statement on how womens clothing is designed vs how mens clothing is designed.

I know where my eyes go first, at least. (self indulgent note: Pearl is kind of an exception to the rule for reasons but I cannot say lest I betray my own moral code. however my eyes go to her first anyway because she is stunningly beautiful she could wear a potato sack and it'd work)

And while I don't agree with this sentiment (I actually loveee menswear deeply it's. a thing), in the world of fandom artists who typically are big fans of the gay gay homosexual gay and more into high-decorative, sexier stuff, clawing at any ounce of femininity that these men exhibit is probably an opportunity hard to pass on. This also happens with Jimmy on occasion I think, with stuff like the maid dress. And Ariana Griande is like Drag Drag, not just a dress but a whole persona, so that in combination with feeding into yaoi tropes for popular ships like Scarian and Grumbo, I'm not surprised there's such a gap between actual screentime and fanmade content.

Also is Griande even like. That popular anymore? I also don't think I've seen CuteGuy all that much unless it's DDVAU stuff specifically.

I'd be interested to hear my artist friends comment on this too since again I feel like I'm not the right person to ask lol. Take this as an invitation to yap I would be fascinated hearing your perspectives.

I also think his popularity and younger audience might be playing a big part in this especially in conjunction with the first point about drawing characters younger-looking but this is getting fairly rambly already lol

Go follow the menswear guy (@/dieworkwear) on twitter if you're interested in menswear btw he's very insightful and funny

[hugthesquids]

The whole interview for reference. It's got really nice characterisation!

Date of the interview: 07 January 2015 (This is when season 1 episode 35 "Lion 3: Straight to Video" was the latest episode out)

Newsarama: Hey Steven, thanks for talking to us!

Steven Universe: Happy to!

Nrama: Now, you're a little younger than who we usually talk to, so we wanted to make sure you had a parent or guardian present.

Steven:Yeah that’s cool! Here’s my dad!

Universe:Wow, I haven’t done an interview in ages! I’m Mr. Universe, uh, interstellar rock star! But it’s been a few decades since my last tour so I guess you can call me …Steven’s dad Greg!

Steven: Woo! Oh hey look, Pearl is coming over too. Hey Pearl!

Pearl of the Crystal Gems: Excuse me, excuse me, who are you and what exactly is going on here?

Greg: Newsarama’s doing an interview with us!

Pearl: I was asking this complete stranger, not you, Greg.

Nrama: …this is great! A rock star… and a rock from the stars!

Steven: Oh that's good!

Pearl: How much have you two told this human?

Greg: Don’t worry Pearl… this isn’t about Gems… it’s just about Steven.

Nrama: Okay, well, that brings me to my first question. Steven, you’re the first half human, half Crystal Gem, is that right?

Steven: Mmhm!

Pearl: Yes, he’s the son of the incomparable Rose Quartz! He’s inherited her Gem and her legacy.

Greg: …and I had a little to do with it! Uh… Steven… existing!

Nrama: Greg, I have to say, it's not every parent who'd let his son be trained by magical beings. Why do you feel it's important for Steven to live with the Gems?

Greg: I mean he’s got Rose’s Gem so… sooner or later we knew his powers might come out somehow, and I’m not much help in that department?

I mean, the Gems didn’t know much about raising a baby. That I get, I had that covered. But I don’t know much about being a Gem. They sure do, they’re really exceptional Gems. They’re really thoughtful, you know… they really try their best to understand people.

Pearl: Yes, people are wonderful.

Steven: Go people!

Nrama: And Pearl, I'm sure it must have been very unusual for you when you found out Rose Quartz had fallen in love with a human. What was what like for you?

Greg: Wow, you’re really zero to sixty with these questions, buddy.

Pearl: That is absolutely none of your business!

Nrama: Well, what about when you found out Rose Quartz was going to have a half-human child?        

Pearl: Brilliant leaders do brilliant things, that’s why you look to them for answers, answers no one else could have, that’s why you trust them, even when you can’t understand why they chose …Greg.

Greg: Well, ahh, we were so excited to see who Steven would be! When we… well, when we figured out that it might be possible!

And there’s never been anyone like him, and he really is a Gem and a human at the same time, it’s just incredible.

Steven: Yeah, I’ve been training and a lot of my powers are coming out! I can bubble up really easy these days, and I can warp on my own, and for a little bit I could even heal people and stuff.

Pearl: Yes! He’s been doing fantastic!

Greg: And he’s got my knack for music too! It’s really something, it’s unreal, you should hear him play!

Nrama: Wow that’s exciting! So Steven, you’re really talented.

Steven: Yeah! I can draw too! I drew last year's Beachapalooza flier! Guess what I figured out –  if you draw with a pencil but you draw really hard, you can smudge the line around with your finger and give everything really cool shading, and make shooting stars and comets… go look, the flier’s still up on the bulletin board at the Big Donut!

I want to get better at drawing… and I want to get better at my shield powers.

Nrama: You sound more excited about the flier than the shield powers!

Steven: Yeah, well, my flier came out really good and you can go see it! I’d show you my shield too, but I can’t make it come out whenever I want.

Pearl: Oh Steven, you’ll get it! You’ve manifested it twice!

Greg: Yeah I’ve seen him do it, it’s really something! He blocked this crazy water ball with it, and it gonged out all the water clones. It’s gorgeous, it’s Rose’s.

Steven: Thanks… yeah, I know I’ll get it… I’ve been practicing in the mornings! I just can’t seem to get it. Shield is harder than bubble I guess…

Nrama: Look, Steven, I didn't mean to make you self-conscious about your Gem abilities – besides, aside from all that, you seem like most other kids your age. Actually, it seems like you're pretty popular in Beach City!

Steven: Oh, I dunno about that! I just like talking to people, and then a lot of the time, they talk back! Ha!

Pearl: Human beings just adore each other, and Rose just adored human beings, so Steven is a real “people human,” as they say!

Greg: Heh… I think you mean “People person.”

Pearl: What? That can’t be right. That’s so redundant.

Nrama: So I have to ask – do you have any favorite comic books?

Steven: Oh man, me and Dad were going through all his old comics in the van! I got to keep a bunch of them, Casper, Richie Rich, Hot Stuff, Baby Huey, Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost… Wendy Witch…

Greg: I gave him lotsa Harvey Comics.

Steven: Dad says I can’t read his Heavy Metals till I’m older.

Greg: You can have those in a couple years!

Steven: Oh yeah and I just got the No Home Boys graphic novel adaptation! But I think it really missed the mark. And I like Sailor Moon. It’s really down to earth.

Nrama: And what's coming up for you?

Steven: I dunno, I guess anything could happen, that’s usually how it is! I met a new Gem recently, her name was Lapis Lazuli and she seemed really cool! She flew away to the Gem Homeworld!

Pearl: Steven, please. Look, stranger. There’s nothing to worry about. Earth is an independent planet, and Lapis Lazuli couldn’t possibly have made it all the way home.

Steven: What? Oh no, oh Pearl, you really think so?

Pearl: Or, well, Steven, I’m sure she did, yes, right, she definitely made it back, I’m sure she’s… having a really fun time… telling everyone… nothing!

Steven: … ok…

Greg: Hey! Hey, everything’s ok, whatever happens we can always roll with it, am I right?

Pearl: Yes, yes. We’ll roll! We are planning to roll.

Nrama: So, Steven – what is the best thing about being Steven Universe?

Steven: I get to be a Crystal Gem, and I learn a lot all the time, and hang out with Dad and with my friends …and everybody!

I’m changing a lot all the time, but that’s good, I think, since everybody changes all the time. I like it because even if you know somebody you can know them again, all the time, when they’re different, and what doesn’t change is how you feel, you know?

That can stay the same, which is really cool –  like if you love somebody, that’s the thing that can stay the same no matter what.

Greg: Ah boy, gosh Steven, what a really nice thought.

Pearl: Oh Greg, can you believe it, sometimes he sounds just like …well …just like Steven.

Greg: Yeah. He’s really somethin’ else.

Nrama: Thanks again for talking to me!

Steven: You’re welcome! Crystal Gems forever!

Greg: Hey yeah thanks! Keep watching the skies! Haha hahaha… heh!

Pearl: No ah, please don’t! We’ll take care of everything. Stay safe, human!

in-character interview with newsarama by rebecca sugar, 2015

this official steven universe interview is no longer available on the website, but it’s archived!

it’s canon & written by rebecca sugar, an interview of the characters pearl, greg, & steven.

there’s some really sweet and subtle pearlrose moments, i particularly love this one:

steven: i'm changing a lot all the time, but that's good, i think, since everybody changes all the time. i like it because even if you know somebody, you can know them again, all the time, when they're different, & what doesn't change is how you feel, you know? that can stay the same, which is really cool. like if you love somebody, that's the thing that can stay the same no matter what.

greg: steven, what a really nice thought.

pearl: oh greg, can you believe it, sometimes he sounds just like—well, just like steven.

greg: yeah, he’s really something else.

pearl stops herself before she can say rose, because that would be quite awkward in the interview setting. she also says she trusts rose & calls her incomparable. there’s a bit of jealousy with greg, because the timeline is at around the beginning of the show, so pearl hasn’t really found closure yet & is questioning things. eventually she’ll understand that rose never chose a partner over her, but anyway! really cute & canon pearlrose here.

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

It's the penultimate episode, I've got some words for P'Dome that he'll never get to hear but most importantly I'm here to congratulate Peach and Home on not breaking up this episode. So let's get to it!

1

We begin with Home being sad looking at their ad while thinking about his gramps trying to teach him the meaning of "home"

But while Pangpang puts it plainly into words

Home is apparently so dense that he still hasn't figured it out

We've been seeing quite clearly, and Home seems to be aware on a subconcious level at least, that Peach and the rest of the squad have become his home. But well, Home the man, clearly put all his character points into cuteness leaving none for intelligence so I guess we'll have to wait for the last (TT) episode for him to finally get it.

2

Peach has gotten to know Home very well. So of course he can tell that there's something up with his platonic? boyfriend. (on the first watch i thought this was him fishing for "Home is so sad that you're leaving"-validation)

He's also totally definitely not at all worried about Home. I'd say acting isn't Peach's strong suit but he did quite well with the fuckery they put on so I guess it's a case of the old can't-lie-when-it-comes-to-love.

Despite his utter non-worry he still delegates Home-care to Kan which kind of implies that he sees it as his job to take care of him. (and shows how much he is worried and cares about Home but that's not really news at this point)

3

Even Kan is teasing them about their relationship now.

4

Sure, their fight turned out to be somewhat staged to distract evil lawyer but the sentiments are nontheless quite real. The familiar territory of fighting allows them to finally speak out their feelings about what happened at the end of last episode. And, surprise, surprise, both are hurt by the idea of being left by the other, of ultimately not meaning that much to each other. (as I said, abandonment trauma rearing its ugly head) At this point, regardless of their relationship status maybe they should just get married so they'll finally feel some security in their importance to each other. (this is almost definitely not a good solution to this sort of problem irl, of course)

5

It's a good thing they've been perfecting their nonverbal communication over the course of the show. It comes in quite handy in situations like this.

6

Surrounded by the betrayal from his blood family, Home knows there's someone he can always trust.

Peach. And the rest of the gang. His real family. (+ the friends they made along the way)

7

This scene was honestly the cutest shit. The way he goes from his legs raised in happiness, to lowerd in disappointment, to swinging with giddieness. The way he's hiding under his duvet to secretly talk to his boyfriend on the phone. Ridiculously cute. This man is so in love. And he shows it like a stereotypical 12 y/o girl.

And Peach isn't any better with his arms on display and that fondness in his face.

8

Peach really doesn't want Home to go back to America.

But while he's not getting that reassurance for now (I can't bring myself to believe he'll actually leave. Not after everything, not when the reason for his exile has been resolved, not when he's finally found the meaning of "home" so his grandpa would have allowed him to come back, anyway. And how ironic btw, that he had to come home first and face the consequences of his actions, in order to find his meaning of "home"), at least he gets some surprisingly clear real-talk on Home's feelings.

9

Peach is smelling the bs on uncle and he's not looking to become a widower. He already watched Home die once, he's really not inclined to repeat that experience.

Unfortunately he let's Home convince him it'll be fine (and unfortunately Home has retained a lot of that naivete that he displayed when he first met Kan) so he's left behind to worry about Home's safety.

10

This plan from the uncle is absolutely evil. To not only kill his nephew but make people, possibly even Home himself, believe that Peach is the one who killed him? To destroy his nephew's most important person in the process, not only worldly by framing him for murder, but also spiritually by having someone (Home!) die from his cooking? I'm sure to Kid this was mostly a matter of hitting two flies with one stone but whether intentional or not this plan is clearly designed for maximum cruelty. And it's made even more cruel by the love and trust Home and Peach clearly have for each other, plain for everyone, even the evil uncle, to see. But he doesn't even grant Home the knowledge of being loved at the point of his death.

Stop trying to bury our gays you pos uncle!

11

As a palate cleanser, please enjoy this image of the whole happy family. Including the dads, their daughter + her wife, and ... Suradech!

Lesbian Corner

Kan has been spending so much time with Pangpang that she's internalising her speech patterns.

And THIS is her reaction when Peach calls her out on it. Someone's in luuurve!

[that-one-fandom-girl]

Rating Miraculous Super Names Based on Their Creativity

(Not based on whether I like them or think they’re catchy—just creativity. Personally, I like/love most of the characters and their names (and really wouldn’t change them at all), so that’s not going to color my thoughts on them, really. Also, I will talk about cultures and languages in this post and I’m not making any comments about them themselves or anything like that—just the creativity of the characters that may *have* said cultures and languages—using the knowledge of them I know or looked up. This post is also both slightly serious and very much not at the same time, lol)

Ladybug: Marinette had several little pet-names in the Origins episode; Wonder-Bug (my personal fav), Bug-Lady, and Clumsy-Girl, and she took the one thought of “well, Tikki said I get magical ladybugs to fix everything and I have a red and black motif, so I’ll call myself Ladybug” (while Alya took the same information and made the most complex names known in existence 😆). I’d say, about 4-4.5 out of 10 for her main super name; it’s not the most creative, but it’s not the worst on this list, lolol.

For her other names:

Ladynoire: (They both named each other for the Kwami-swap if you watch the episode, so those two names are really a judgement on the other person’s creativity, lol). Adrien mushed both his own super name and Ladybug’s super name together and recreated their ship name, basically. Eh, I’d say probably maybe a solid 6 out of 10? More creative, but he could’ve just read all their in-universe fans’ discourse and gave their ship name to her, which would fit with his crush on her 😆.

Multi-Mouse: 6.5? She used the fact that she used *multiple* miraculous *multiple* times and that she was a mouse for her name.

Her other names are basically just putting other miraculous or power-ups with the name ‘Ladybug’: soooo…3? 4?

Cat Noir: for him, it depends on which of the two main dubs you watch; if you watch the English dub, Adrien went, “well, two of the languages I’m most fluent in is English and French, and I am a black cat, so I’ll honor both languages and call myself Cat Noir”, which is slightly more creative. But if you use the French dub version of his name, Chat Noir, it sounds like he just went “I’m a black cat…I’ll just call myself ‘Black Cat’”—which *is* an actual character in other superhero media (The Black Cat in Marvel Comics)— but he’s not even *the* black cat, he’s only ‘Black Cat’ 😆. So my vote is English dub = 4.5, French dub = 4.

Mr. Bug: Marinette took her base name and gave him the male prefix instead, which, okay, it does work and she brought something else to the table; but if I’m being honest, we could’ve gotten the name ‘Lord Bug’, and that would’ve been funny, lol (jk). 6-6.5 out of 10.

Cat Walker: 9.5-10. Yes, I rate this as one of the highest (if not the highest) in this list—here’s why; he’s acting more like his ‘perfect Adrien’ golden boy model persona, a.k.a. he’s putting on a show, and his name is a play on the word ‘Cat Walk’…which is all three, a way to walk on the runway, the runway itself, and an elevated bridge walked on above a stage for behind-the-scenes work. All that meaning in his name AND it’s a pun??? Absolute freaking amazing job, Adrien; you rocked it!

His other names are again, pretty much just putting his main super name with the various other miraculous and power ups: so again, 3? 4? EXCEPT for his ice power-up which is called ‘Ice Noir’, which translates to ‘Black Ice’ which is a dangerous type of ice and fits into his destruction motif, so that one gets a bit more; I’d say about 6 out of 10.

Rena Rouge; depending on what you take it as, it’s either a play on the words “red fox” in French (Renard Rouge)—it’s creative because it’s a *play* on the words, not the actual words themselves—or Alya used her both her Creole roots and French language as inspiration and used the Creole word for ‘fox’ (Rena) and French word for ‘red’ (Rouge). First possibility: 5, second: 6-6.5

Carapace: Nino used his knowledge of turtles and his super ability of protecting people as inspiration for his name—Carapace, which is the word for a turtle’s shell. Ehh, 5?

Queen Bee: Chloe used both the animal super she is and her status as inspiration for her name—plus it’s also a pun, which makes it even more fun. She’s a bee, she’s the popular girl in school (a.k.a. a ‘queen bee’ in school), it fits her personality, and she ran with it. A solid 7, maybe

Hawkmoth: I mean, he’s not very creative here—but at least Gabriel chose a *type* of moth to use as a name…why he chose a *moth* name in the first place when he’s a *butterfly* is another thing, tho, lolol! But I did read that Hawk Moths are known for their fast flying, so I guess that works for the Akumas. If it was a contest for catchy, I’d give it a higher rating, but for creativity? Less than our main heroes: 3. I wouldn’t give him a ton because he’s a butterfly instead of a moth, but he did choose a fitting type so…

Bunnyx: Alix literally just put an ‘X’ after the word ‘bunny’; she gets, like, a 1 😂.

Caprikid: Nathaniel used him being a goat-inspired superhero, the goat horoscope, the fact he is a kid, and the fact that goat children are called ‘kids’ put together to make his name. Pretty awesome, actually. 7-8? It just fits very well.

King Monkey: I gotta admit, I wasn’t gonna give Kim a very high score ‘cause I thought he was basically just the miraculous version of Donkey Kong, lolol; but I looked him up on Miraculous Wiki, and it says his name was inspired by an ancient Chinese legend and the novel has been adapted into a show called “Monkey Magic”, which is kind of a pretty cool fitting-sounding reference. So if Kim actually thought it through like that, 7-7.5? But knowing Kim, and if he just went, “dude, imma be like Donkey Kong! What sounds like Donkey Kong???….. King Monkey!”, then I’m only gonna give him like a 3-3.5 as well 😆.

Viperion: Luka did alright; not amazing, but it fits. ‘Viper’, a type of snake, for a snake-themed hero. 4-4.5?

Purple Tigress: …all Juleka did was was describe herself 😆. But she did do better than Alix, so I’ll give her a 2, lolol!

Miss Hound: I feel like Sabrina is in the group of heroes who went really literal, but still tried, so I’ll give her the same rating—4-4.5.

Minotaurox: Ivan used the animal words Minotaur and Ox, and put them together; an ox is, well, an ox, and a Minotaur is a tough creature from Greek mythology that is half-man and half-bull, so it does have some coolness to it. 7-7.5

Pegasus: Max did use a cool figure for his name, but he only used the fact that he was a horse and the very well known figure of Pegasus together for his name. Don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty cool, but after some of the other names on this list, and how some of them fit together; I feel like it’s just not *as* creative of a name. I think I’ll give him maybe a 5?

Polymouse: Mylene used the word ‘poly’ which means ‘many’ and mouse, so I’ll give her the same as I gave Multimouse, since they’re very similar—6.5

Ryuko: I didn’t know what this meant until I looked it up on Miraculous Wiki, and it says that while it can have many meanings in Japanese; it’s most likely that it means “child of the dragon”, and that just sounds cool as heck. To me, it sounds like Kagami pushed the ‘having a pun or fitting mythological/cultural figure as part of the name’ thing to the side and just made up a cool-sounding name on her own, which is pretty cool and creative! 8? 8.5?

Pigella: I feel like Rose just put a feminine suffix to the word ‘pig’, which…doesn’t seem as creative. To be fair to her, I don’t think it’s very easy to make a cool, creative sounding name incorporating the word *pig* into it. It does sound like she tried, and the flair she put at the end does fit her personality, so I’ll give her a little more credit. 5?

Rooster Bold: Marc tried, like Rose, but…. It doesn’t feel like a creative name; just his animal and what he becomes after being a hero. 3, maybe?

GUYS, I did NOT know what ‘Argos’ meant, so I looked it up on regular Wikipedia, and it’s a ship from Greek Mythology that carried the Argonauts on their quest to get the Golden Fleece and that, quote, “some sources state that since people had not seen a ship before, they described the Argo as a monster”, unquote!! 😭😭😂😂😂 Does that NOT sound like Felix? Okay, that’s it; Felix wins this whole thing!! Cat Walker was a good second, but, sorry Adrien! Your dramatic and showman cousin wins the competition! He gets an 11 out of 10.

……I absolutely love how half of these characters just literally used their animal names as 3/4’s of their super name, and then there’s freaking Felix who uses his entire backstory/character arc as a super name 😂. It really shows the range of the show, fr fr!

P.S. I realized I forgot about Mayura and Vesperia.

I looked it up and Reddit says that ‘Mayura’ means ‘peacock’, so…4.5-5?

Miraculous Wiki says that Vesperia’s name is derived from the Italian word ‘Vespa’, which means ‘wasp’, so her name means the female wasp. Sounds kinda cool and she added specificity to her animal, so 6?

[riverssongs13]

Finally being able to watch ep09 Maiden Mother Crone without uncontrollably sobbing, I can now see and compare the differences between The Ballad as performed in ep09 vs in ep02 Circle Sewn With Fate Unlock Thy Hidden Gate.

Here's a side by side image of the waveforms from both versions, last verse just after "blood and tears and bones, maiden mother crone":

As I suspected (and hoped), the Basement part was re-recorded (or at least a different version was used). Around the 45 second mark is Patti belting "down, down, down":

In episode 9, it's noticeable how in the last line of "follow me my friend" instead of fading out, it started building a crescendo of strings, right up until "the end" when the instruments finally halted to rest.

Compared to episode 2 where we get a decrescendo by "follow me my friend" and there are only vocals in "to glory at the end":

I absolutely love how these subtle differences give so much details in the storytelling. We set out gathering this ragtag of witches as a temp coven just so The Road can be accessed, and because we know not of The Road's true nature, we're given this silent, almost solemn hymn of prayer, hoping The Road would show itself to us, to the coven. We were fed the information that its quite difficult to reach The Road, and of course we didn't immediately believe Agatha when she said it does not exist. Thus we have this silent prayer, this plea to the Maiden to show us the way so we can help Lilia and the gang get what they want. The instruments fading out giving the feels of slow acceptance that maybe, The Road just wouldn't show itself this time, maybe it needed an actual coven, maybe this maybe that, things go wrong, let's pack it up, nice singing, thank you for belting the best parts Lilia.

Compared to the utter instrumentality of ep09. Even before the Ballad started, as the first victim approached Agatha we can already hear a disjointed string note, giving an underlying looming threat, like something is amiss, something bad is about to happen. The song started with a chorus, granted, but it started with instruments. The verses accompanied by heavy strings while Agatha goads the witches so she can leech out their powers is extremely powerful imagery. There is no subtle con here, we are being given the bulk of the story now, no more subtle foreshadowing, this is our rude awakening.

We're presented this song born out of an innocent soul who'd hum to his mother, twisted by grief and the desire to obtain more powers for Agatha's gain. We're given the montage of the countless witches Agatha has slain throughout the centuries, lured by the promises of The Road, unbeknownst to them that it in fact does not exist.

And so how fitting would it be that towards the end of the song, as it showed us Agatha's latest victims, instead of the original solemn prayer we get an orchestra building up a crescendo that explodes with the exposition of HEY, it has indeed been Agatha All Along, because that song is not true and y'all are stupid for falling for it. The bellowing of strings (I'm talking of strings over and over again aren't I? sorry I'm a guitarist by training haha), the booming winds, the loud percussions, the immaculate choir who are presumably Agatha's witch victims, the visuals of Agatha absorbing all the powers she can eat... It almost feels like the music is Agatha eating all the magic around her.

The basement scene then shows up, with a subtle but quite discernible difference in the audio mix. This time only the second "down down down" of Lilia is amplified; Alice's voice is more rounded; Mrs Hart Sharon's confusion is more prominent; Jen's demeanour and voice is calmer; and Agatha, our dear, murderous Agatha, looks and sounds more sure of herself and the whole ritual. Kind of like this time, SHE KNOWS that everything was nothing but a scam, no need to be so over the top about it, The Road isn't real and these witches are wrapped in her fingers like the idiots they are. Let the instruments do the talking, because each and every one of them are merely instruments to her plans wink wink.

Absolute perfection of the marriage between visuals, audio, and storytelling. The way everything was sewn together seamlessly, like a tapestry unfolding right before our very eyes, IN SONG FORM. This TV show is far from perfect, it may have its issues, but one cannot deny that it really did excellently on the things it did well.

To sum up the beauty of this immaculate storytelling, here's a side by side of The Ballad's last verse, as shown in episodes 2 and 9:

Here's to hoping there'd be more of this exquisite storytelling in the MCU. To Jac Schaeffer, and everyone involved in the creation of this piece of art, thank you.

[madeby-meru]

Jason Epsiode 9 Thoughts

Yesterday I played whatever I could of episode 9 on Jason's route and finished watching the rest on youtube, so I wanna share my thoughts (generally speaking tho, I actually enjoyed the episode! it was honestly refreshing after.... everything, lol)

beware of spoilers under the cut <3

Okay, this was quite surprising for me. From what I had spoiled myself already I could tell that I was going to like some things about the episode, but I was not expecting to feel overall so positive about it!

From the beginning, I personally really liked all the tidbits of the common route. I liked seeing Tasha and Zahra play cards (seeing their relationship and how close and friendly they seem, what they like, etc), and I also liked the time spent with the inters, they were fun and I generally enjoy seeing the MC interact with other characters. I did miss some more interaction with the other routes, I chose Thomas to work with and honestly it felt like he was barely even there :/ it would have been fun to see him more with the interns and talk about the project he was working on. I don't know, I like this type of "filler" stuff that tells you about the characters and how they act and interact with other people and in different situations, it makes them feel more 3d and real and I fell like this is something the game lacks a LOT. It's nice that we are very focused on our route from the get go cause we get many moments with them, but at the same time it makes the experience very isolating and you dont get to know anyone much besides your route (you also have way less chances to get affinity with other characters, which bothers me honestly, I don't like feeling "locked" with the LI i chose). It gets boring for me but I understand that's just preference and that many people prefer this, so I appreciated all the common route moments we had this episode.

Now, Jason.

God, I absolutely loved it, the more I think about it the more I like it. I liked getting to know more about him, I liked the vulnerable moments, the looks to the side, the sad face, the smidge of angst. The special scene was cute, he looked so soft and kind while keeping that playful air. I wish they had some more banter and more jokes but I liked how they interacted in this episode and how it seemed llike 2 actual adults subtly flirting and connecting. He was very charming here.

HOWEVER, I need to be honest and mentioned all the stuff I didn't like at all.

First of all, it really bothers me that in the spanish version the characters don't seem to have a defined speech style at all. The way Jason speaks sometimes feels SO weird and it doesn't fit him at all. It takes me out so much to hear him speak like that.

Then the writing is... ugh. It feels like it has not been proof read at all, so many repetitiveness? It takes me out of the story a lot and honestly, it feels poor quality and that it has little care put into it

And it really bothers me how they repeated AGAIN the whole "i have never seen him smiled genuinely like this" GIRL YOU DID ????? ON EPISODE 7 ????? YOU SAID THE SAME THING THEN ????? is anyone editing these dialogues be honest with me beemoov

Lastly, my biggest enemy this game: Ysaline

I really, REALLY, don't like her. It bothers me how utterly dramatic she is with the whole "deal with the devil" bullshit (and the amount of times this sentence has been repeated is so obnoxious, we GET IT, be original ffs). Specially cause what the actual fuck has this man done for you to antagonize him and judge him so much? 5 random people that you knew for 2 days told you he was bad and you ran with it, girl have some actual thoughts of your own and stop judging people you know shit about.

Because I am seriously asking, what has Jason done to be "THE DEVIL"? Work hard? Cause that's all I have seen.

(And where did that episode 5 stuff with the "You owe me a favor now" go ???? did everyone forget about this ???? this "deal with the devil" bullshit again ???? I was expecting this to be a relevant line but we are going on episode 10 and I only hear crickets, it has't even been mentionned I really hate how utterly disconnected the episodes feel and how we have literally no plot)

And god Ysaline gave me so much second hand embarassment when she kept accusing him og using Tasha to spy on Devenementiel ????? GIRL? First of all, you are the new hire of a 7 people company, what the fuck would your 16 year old sister have ???? Devenementiel doesnt even have confidential information why would Jason even CARE. This was EMBARASSING.

Also, Jason telling her that he motivated Tasha by telling her that Ysa would be better ?????? Bro what makes you think that, all you have seen of this woman is her being an absoute mess, doing the most stupid and ridicuous bullshit, NOT WORKING (miss girl was out strolling around the city looking for apartments during work hours, she barely even worked that day), and not being able to even organize a damn birthday party. What about this woman is capable or competent? Aren't you supposed to hate incompetent people? hm?

I really mean this but these two have so little chemistry that is DRY as a desert I don't understand what Jason could see in her cause everything we know about the character would point to him disliking her. In his route what would make sense is for Ysalinne to be super hard working person, someone competitive and very focused on her work that takes her professional life seriously. THAT is someone that I can see Jason liking and somewhat admiring and wanting by his side.

Anyway, tldr: I liked this episode, I hope we get more like this, I hope Ysaline grows the fuck up and I hope we have more fun banter and jokes and flirting instead of creepyness <3

[whateverisbeautiful]

Do you have any fav moments with Rick/Carl, Michonne/Carl and/or Michonne/Judith from the show? (I don't mention RJ since he didn't get a lot of screentime)

Yes! I wrote them out below. It was particularly hard to narrow down my favorite Michonne and Carl moments since I love so many of their exchanges but after some thought, I think I was able to solidify my fav Rick/Carl, Michonne/Carl, and Michonne/Judith moments. I wish RJ would have had more screen time and one-on-one moments with Michonne in TWD. If ever we see the Grimes family again, I’d love to see some Rick/RJ and Michonne/RJ moments to add to this list. 

Favorite Rick/Carl Moments

1) When Rick first gives Carl the sheriff hat after he’s been shot in season 2. That storyline with Rick quite literally trying to give everything he could of himself to keep Carl alive was always really moving. And I also love this season 2 scene when Rick has a very honest and transparent conversation with Carl.

2) When Rick and Carl are gunning down those walkers during that chaotic night at the prison in season 4. It showed how this father and son are cut from the same cloth and the layered look Rick gives Carl as he sees how much his son has adapted to this world is so memorable to me.

3) When Rick and Carl have that conversation toward the end of 4.09 and Rick tells Carl about how he’s a man now and Carl tells him about how he ate all that pudding. After all their tension and conflict in that episode, I love the way they started to repair their connection at that moment. 

Favorite Michonne/Judith Moments

1) When Michonne holds Judith for the first time at the prison. That is one of the most beautiful and touching scenes of TWD to me. It’s such a powerful moment watching Michonne go from barely wanting to hold the baby to fully embracing her and letting out a lot of the emotion she’s kept inside about Andre. Danai did an incredible job depicting the moment Michonne goes from distant to mother. And the way she and the baby look at each other before the embrace is so special, especially knowing those two will truly be mother and daughter.

2) When Michonne and Judith have that conversation in 9.14 and Judith says “You’re my mom. You chose to be. Because you love me and I love you.” I loved hearing that. I also always love the way Michonne uses her shirt to patch Judith up and just seeing them get to open up more as a mom and daughter. In 9.14, I also was really glad to hear the younger Judith call Michonne “mommy,” since I’d been wanting to hear that for a while. I don’t like the excessive brutality and trauma they put Michonne through in 9.14 and that they tried to land on the message that Michonne should actually take care of all these communities more, even when they don’t extend nearly the same care for her. But what I do like about the episode is Danai and Cailey’s great performances and that Michonne and Judith got multiple scenes to depict and strengthen their relationship.

3) I feel like I’m forgetting some other Michonne/Judith scenes that might’ve made the list, but from what I can remember, I always really love that quick scene in season 8 when Michonne says goodbye to Judith and says she’ll be back soon with her daddy. So so so cute and I love that the first time we hear Judith speak it’s with her mom Michonne. 

Favorite Michonne/Carl Moments

1) When Michonne gets the family photo for Carl in Clear. I love that their bond was cemented in that moment. And it’ll always be so meaningful that Michonne hands Carl a photo of his mom while also going on to become his mom herself. I also really appreciate when she reveals she went in to grab the rainbow cat as well. I think it was a great choice to have her grab the cat sculpture for her rather than it being like a toy for Carl or something, because she was also offering up a bit about herself through it. Beforehand she probably seemed more stoic and had more of this black cat energy but in grabbing this rainbow cat it showed Carl that there’s a playfulness and bright vibrancy to her too and it was sweet seeing the way that moment endeared her to him.

2) When Michonne and Carl go on that run in 4.11 and open up about Michonne’s past. (Also honorable mention to their soy milk conversation in this episode). I love how eager Carl was to get to know her more and how Michonne found such a good balance between treating Carl like an equal and a kid. It was great seeing Carl want Michonne to feel assured that everything she was sharing was safe with him and it never fails to move me when he tries to offer them both some comfort by saying maybe Andre and Judith are together somewhere.

3) When Michonne and Carl have that heart-to-heart in the woods after the Claimer situation. That scene really showed the way in which they trust each other and can confide in each other about even the deepest darkest things. Michonne fully became Carl’s parent in season 4 and that was evident in so many scenes, including when Carl rests in her lap. I always really love their talk in the woods because Carl clearly feels super safe with Michonne and Michonne feels safe with him to share the hardest details from the day she lost her family. It’s so meaningful to hear Michonne say that Carl and Rick brought her back and to assure Carl that he doesn’t have to be afraid of her or his dad. And the fact that Carl felt like he was just another monster too is so sad but it makes it extra important that he had someone like Michonne in his life to admit that to and feel less alone with.

4) When Carl and Michonne have that conversation on the porch in season 6, just before Rick and Michonne officially become Richonne. I love that in explaining why he didn’t just put Deanna down himself, Carl basically confirms that he views Michonne as a mom. And you can see in Michonne’s expression that she knows Carl saying “I’d do it for you’ is him saying that she’s a mother to him. I love that Judith is included in the scene too (and that it truly sounds like she says ‘Michonne’ when Michonne approaches.) It’s also sweet how the scene starts with Carl telling Judith about the North Star and then Michonne arrives, as she’s truly like the Grimes family’s North Star. I love that this scene between Michonne, Carl, and Judith was included just before Michonne and Rick had their romantic moment because it affirmed that these four were already family in every way that's important.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

aww yeah ep 20 GOOD

I guess I do (very casual, broadstroke) episode commentaries now, halfway through the show lmao. Spoilers below!!

Bai Jiu BETRAYAL?

Wen Xiao WANTED?

Zhuo Yichen DETECTIVE-ING?

Ying Lei BACK?

*crowd cheers*

The dots are connecting like crazy with the big bad's whole inner core crusade and also with the simultaneous demon case like I did not recognize Ao Yin as the demon Li Lun first released eight years ago but oooh do I enjoy that minor payoff.

Love the repeated use of the demonic-spell-restraining sigils now that we've been introduced to them, though I wonder why the Bureau doesn't ever seem to make use of them. Maybe they don't deal with enough powerful demons to need to paint those in their own (very empty) dungeon? Or perhaps just plot convenience.

Anyway I kind of wish in the Chongwu Camp dungeon PSJ fought a little bc she's so cool in action and their bailing was a little abrupt, but it makes sense that they'd have an immediate getaway plan. Also this is an ep 19 comment but that line Mr. 3-Face Mask delivered about PSJ being fated to always be betrayed by her little brother(s) HURT. So good.

Back to the Bureau, I do love me a good framing, and I'm also happy to get a tiny bit of the episodic demon-murder-case style back. WX was v clever to hide out in Situ Mansion, and (small detail but) I appreciate that the others catch her up on the Bai Jiu thing onscreen. As an aside, I also like that the actress for WX got to be double-casted even just briefly. Seeing some of the actors get to play around with portraying various extremes in characterization and costuming is a ton of fun.

And then yay Bai Jiu backstory at last~! It's crazy how much that blood moon fucked up everyone's lives eight years ago huh.

Everything ZYC says to him is on point (and honestly, ZYC is really quite adept at comforting others, he just sucks utter ass at it when it's his fault and he has to apologize lmaooo) but of course my favorite scene in the whole episode is as follows:

The very slight shine in the waterline, the bittersweet smile/grimace as, deliberately or not, ZYC's words indirectly echo everything about the circumstances between the two of them right now??? Whew. They did that for me specifically.

Anyway, this was a good one to chew on for me, packed with plot movement enough that I didn't feel unsatisfied with just one episode. I'm glad that so far it seems like the release schedule bears in mind what episodes should be watched in pairs for maximum effect (eps 16/17, 18/19 specifically) and which ones are okay to stand alone for the day, but I also don't want to speak too soon haha. We'll see how ep 21 fares.

Also since this is a ZYC stan account (lmao) I have some obligatory ZYC thoughts that I haven't managed to fit anywhere else. I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now and was reminded by this episode: I love the fact that ZYC actually smiles quite often. I think it's a bit surprising every time he does because he so easily fits the archetype of stoic broody action hero, but it really is just an archetype he's fit himself into, and it's never clearer than when they flash back to smiley baby!ZYC (how freely and purely he used to give those smiles away...).

On the other side of this is also how caustic and biting he can be with his words, whether sarcastically or otherwise, and how clearly his face telegraphs his emotions in general. I love that he actually emotes quite a lot and isn't cold and unaffected in the least, just pouty frowny and awkward.

The last piece to this for me is probably his age (which I very much appreciated being established super early on) and how convincingly TJR portrays him as young and inexperienced and extremely earnest. He's so sincere in everything he does that it really doesn't take much to move him, which also (imo) makes his arc less overdone.

We all know from the start what direction his development will likely go, how he'll learn he's mistaken about ZYZ and how he'll grow to have a more nuanced view of the world as he creates more bonds with others. But he's so emotional and emotionally aware that it doesn't really take much push and pull to get him there. And actually, it's not untread ground to him—he is moreso thawing, in part returning to the open-hearted nature that he had to very abruptly shutter away rather than fundamentally changing as a person. I think to me, that makes his character more compelling to watch because his cynicism about the world is perhaps the least sincere thing about him. It's entirely learned, and not by choice. Relatable.

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Forever

Christian Yu x Y/N - drabble - 1.2K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, verbal abuse, shitty parents for reader, reassurance, shoving, L bombs, Mito, so much love its sappy af

-------------------------------

“It’s lovely to meet you both.” Christian said as he shook both your parents hands before walking into the house with you. 

“Likewise.” your mother said with an unreadable expression on her face.

Christian had been begging you for the past month to meet your parents since you two had been dating for over a year. You were close with his mom, he wanted to be close to your family too. You were hesitant as you didn’t have the best relationship with your parents. They disapproved of most of your decisions ever since you moved out of the house. Especially when you started dating a celebrity. 

“Hi mom,” you said, giving her a hug and kissing her cheek before you did the same to your dad.

“Dinner is on the table, shall we?” she said, motioning you all to the dining room. 

You all sat and dished yourselves up some food. The conversation was light and for a second you thought maybe everything would be fine.

“So what’s this I read online - something about you having depression or… oh what was it…”

“Mom!” you said sharply, embarrassed she would call him out like that over dinner.

“Bipolar?” Christian said tentatively.

“Don’t forget his many personalities.” your dad chuckled.

“Can we please change the subject?” you asked as you drank some water, trying to clear the embarrassed lump in your throat. 

“I’m just curious. How could you be so successful and have these supposed ‘issues’.” your mom asked. The look on her face was something familiar with you. It was venomous; not a hint of sincerity - she was asking to embarrass and tear him down just like she had with you your whole life. 

“Mom, drop it.” you said sternly. You had stood up to your parents years ago, it’s why your relationship with them was so strained. You’ll be damned before they treat Christian even a fraction of how they treated you. 

Christian looked incredibly uncomfortable, reaching a hand under the table to hold and fidget with yours. You gave him a reassuring squeeze. 

“I’ve been diagnosed since I was 13 and medicated for a while. I’m pretty stable most of the time.” Christian said in a watery tone, as if he was walking on eggshells.

“And the other times? Is my kid just there to baby you?” your dad said, crossing his arms.

“Honestly, how serious could this relationship be? It sounds more like a ticking time bomb before you have a mental episode and who knows what will happen to my baby? And if you two had children, heaven forbid, who knows if they would be normal.” your mom said, holding her hand to her chest. 

You could see Christian’s eyes watering. “Enough!” you said standing up so abruptly your chair fell over. “Were leaving.” you said, pulling Christian up gently as you walked to the front door.

You parents scolded you to sit back down, saying you were being wildly disrespectful. All you had was tunnel vision, what they said about Christian echoing in your mind. You felt Christian tug against you, when you turned to look you saw your dad holding Christian’s shoulder, gearing up to say something wildly inappropriate no doubt. 

You lost it, smacking your dad’s hand off Christian’s shoulder before shoving him back slightly to put space between them. You shoved your finger in your dads face before unloading, “How fucking dare you? You two have been damn near absent from my life for the past 3 years because you are intolerant assholes who refuse to admit when they have hurt people. And now I bring you my boyfriend, the man I love and want to spend forever with, and you insult him to his face?”

“Honey we’re just concerned about you…” you mom began.

“I wasn’t finished,” you said, pointing your finger at her as you raised your voice. “Christian is the most wonderful person I know, he would do anything for me. All you should want for me as your child is happiness. He is my happiness. He has helped me in more ways than you know, more than you two ever have. He got me into therapy. He got me set up with a psychiatrist. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. And if we do have kids, he would be the best father and they would be loved beyond words. I’m done with both of you and your very conditional love - you can either be in my life or not, the choice is yours. But if you are, you will show us the respect we deserve and we will have some firm ass boundaries, do you understand?” you said angrily.

“Y/N,” you mother and father said.

“Do you understand me?” you said in the most scary, authoritative tone you’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. 

Both your parents' lips were drawn tight, they gave curt nods.

Without another word you walked out the door with Christian, slamming it before you got in the car. You were so focused driving home you didn’t realize Mito had fully emerged and was silently crying in the passenger seat. You both walked into your apartment silently but as soon as the door was shut you engulfed Mito in a hug. He slowly hugged you back but you could hear him sniffling into the crook of your neck, his tears hitting your skin. You rubbed over his back with one hand while tangling your other hand in his beautiful black locks.

“I love you.” you said to him over and over again, hoping it would break through to them. You pulled back slightly, holding his face in your hands. You wiped his tears away with your thumbs as you looked into his eyes, “You are the most wonderful person I know. Your diagnosis doesn't define you. I love you in every lifetime. They will not be a part of my life if they cannot respect you and see how much joy and love you bring me.” you said, sounding completely sure of yourself.

“Maybe they’re right…” he mumbled.

“No they’re not. I have never once felt or even thought that I couldn’t handle your mental stuff. I have always known that we will support each other no matter what. They are ignorant old bitches and I never want to lose you over stupid shit like them and their words.” you said.

“But what if we had kids? What if they end up all messed up like me?” he said, new tears flooding his eyes.

You kissed him deeply, “If we had kids, they would have the best dad who would love them more than anything in the world. If they had a mental illness would you love them any less?” you asked him, already knowing the answer.

“Of course not.” Mito said with a firm tone.

“Then what does it matter? We would love them and support them and take care of them. Right?” you asked.

Mito nodded in agreement.

“Then you need to afford yourself the same grace. You are not broken, you are not any less worthy of love. You are my boyfriend who I love in every sense of the word who I want to be with forever.” you leaned your forehead against his. 

Mito nodded gently, holding your wrists as you held his face, “I love you.” he said with a soft voice.

You smiled gently at him before kissing him sweetly. “Let's go watch a movie and eat an ungodly amount of sweets, yeah?” 

Mito nodded with a gentle smile before kissing you once more.

------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello! This was based off a request and I absolutely loved writing this one! I hope you all are well and had a great Halloween :) life is still a bit rough but I am really lucky to have a good support system. I'll write again soon! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 6

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

I like that Luis forces Marta to do the very thing Fina tried to get her to do in the job interview, let the perfume rest on her skin before giving it a whiff. Is this meant to be the thing that tipped the scales in Fina’s favour? Or do we think Fina was always going to be Marta’s first choice as new shopgirl? I wonder when Marta started noticing Fina, I mean sure I think once she got into that uniform she was forced to see her in a new light. But I’m still curious to what it was like before that. It’s clear they knew a lot about each other, but to what extent really?

As I’m watching beyond just the Mafin scenes I’m surprised to see how similar Luis and Marta are and the way their stories are structured. They’ve both got that kind of infectious drive only in different fields.  That strong sense of right and wrong too, with an insane work ethic and a desire to make the world a better place I think. It’s also super easy to imagine their siblings running around as kids, climbing a hill, kicking a ball and Luis and Marta being left behind with an antfarm, an abbacus and a lot of curious questions.

Petra put down the fucking shovel, the hole is big enough for the Titanic without you going and insulting Marta too on top of everything. This isn’t Journey to the Center of the Earth, you can stop digging now. Have I mentioned I hate her? Because I do, I really do.

Marta with a notepad or a folder in her hands is another one of those moments when I sort of feel like the Universe might be catering to me, but I don’t mind.

Marta is especially demanding in this episode, ordering Luz and Luis around - telling them to get their little butts into gear and work work. Watching the episodes back to back it now sort of stands out to me how she showed one emotion last episode and now she needs to be super competent at her work to make up for it. In her eyes at least. It actually makes me really curious about how much background the actors get on their characters and about future storylines. Because it does sort of come across as this is Marta throwing herself into her work to make up for that perceived failure of last episode, that whole business of her not being able to make her father proud through her unconventional marriage and the fact that she is childless. And knowing that she never will be able to as her marriage is mostly a cage and at best an inconvenience. Her behaviour in this episode gives a sense of - if she can’t make her father proud of who she is, then maybe she can make him proud of her achievements at least. Over-achieving daughter of an emotionally distant man, we've all been there, right?! Right?

As a rule there’s a lot of heartbreak and all kinds of personal problems being aired, but there’s always something about seeing Fina, Carmen and Claudia together in their room that makes me happy. Their room feels like a home, it’s soft and comforting despite at its core being a very spartan dormitory.

Fina telling them she’s going out with Petra and at least Carmen has the decency to not say anything, Claudia on the other hand runs straight for the idea that the two of them will be so pretty together they’ll immediately attract boyfriends. Oh Claudia. I love a good running joke so I sort of hope they never tell Claudia about lesbianism. Let her live her life without knowing that is a thing that exists so that we as an audience can keep mocking her forever and ever.

[s-wave-entertainment]

*BAM*

THAT WAS THE SOUND OF ME BUSTING THE DOOR DOWN. HI. Okay so first thing's first, I recently saw an animatic (??) by @/armintist on Instagram about N's perception of Tessa as of ep. 6 and it has broken the dam. Your honor I think about what must have been going through his head at that given moment So Often; some may say too often (I know my roommate definitely would, sorry Anna-). Y'all, he literally just remembered her existence and because we have no canon timeline as to how long was between eps. 5&6, I'm going to assume it was no LESS than two hours, IF EVEN. Doll could have gone straight to "Tessa" from Uzi's house, we'll never know. But like... what in the fuck was going on in his brain? This person, who he KNOWS that he knows, that he has vague, barely comprehensible memories of from a time far back into his past that he only just got back, is suddenly standing right in front of him again. And he hesitates, because OF COURSE HE DID. It looks like her (or does it? He doesn't remember his face, he never even truly saw it), it sounds like her, it feels like her... but how long has it been? And why here, why now?

Honestly, "Cyn's" pretty smart. She knew he would be willing to go along with what he told her because he's never really pressed into his memories before. He's relieved the tidbits of them, sure, but he tends to acknowledge them and move on. She knew all she had to do was act right and he would probably trust her. But what she didn't account for was him finding a love worth fighting for, and that's where her ultimate fucky-wucky was. But I'm not here to talk about "Cyn's" strategy, I'm here to talk about our beloved traumatized murder robot puppy.

What do you think happened when it hit him that that skin over Cyn's body wasn't of it's own creation? That his friend was technically still alive, if you count her preserved remains being thrown over a robot body like some sick and twisted reverse fursuit. And it can't be said that that didn't happen, because it definitely did. N's little episode in the hallway while "Cyn" hunted them down showed us that he is in fact recovering his memories. Slowly, and at very unfortunate times, but he is. And I can almost guarantee you that at some point, in some way, he must have recovered the full memory of the gala massacre. And oh me oh my, that must have been a long, hard day for him. Thank God he has Uzi now-

That aside, he must eventually realize what happened. And as he remembers more and more good times with her, his little heart probably just shattered more and more. Along with all of the other BULLSHIT he must be remembering following ep. 8.

AND ANOTHER THING ON THAT NOTE. I have so so so many emotions about N and how good he is and how,,,, Genuinely Good his heart is. Like actually. Y'all, need I remind the court that he was supposed to KILL Uzi. He had her PINNED TO THE WALL with a wing, but after watching her father turn around and ABANDON HER, he stopped. And sure, it can be reasonably said that this is because he spent some time with Uzi beforehand, but how long would they have had together, logistically? Ten minutes, maybe twenty, tops?? The fact that that was enough for him to COMPLETELY CHANGE SIDES and want to help her instead (which is also attributed to the conversation they had in the cockpit but again, TEN MINUTES)... listen, Uzi had no one before she found N, but N had no one either. J openly abused him, and V had to act like she hated him to protect him. N was lonely, just like Uzi. Somehow, someone found him who was kind to him and seemed to actually care. She was a little edgy, but she talked to him and she listened. It was more than he had at the base - and the same was true for Uzi. But again, I could talk about how much I love NUZI for hours, right now I want to talk about how good N's heart is. He was a worker, once. A worker who did everything he could to be... useful, to Tessa's parents, but a good friend to Tessa. And he loved his friends. He has,,, so much love in his heart. He always has. And he gives it so readily, and it can hurt him, but he like - he gets better about it, I believe. He can guard himself better these days, but he just. He still cares. And he cares so much and he just. GOD. GOD I LOVE HIM AND I FEEL SO TERRIBLE FOR WHAT HE'S BEEN THROUGH. FUCKING HELL-

[antianakin]

You are ABSOLUTELY not alone in that sentiment! At the very least you've got me, too! It definitely makes the most sense for the clones to look around as they are learning what it means to even BE a person and tend to lean towards the only person willing to speak to them and guide them and answer their questions (and there isn't a single Mandalorian who would ever do the same). I'm going to put the rest of this under a cut since it's getting long.

I've read plenty of posts about what attachment actually means in Star Wars (I've made a few myself, or at least addressed it in plenty of posts about the Jedi over the years), and I totally agree that the clones do also seem to hold similar values to the Jedi in terms of attachment, even if it comes from a very different (and arguably somewhat less healthy) place. It's not even really that they move on quickly, because part of the reason that seems to happen is more a matter of how the TV show is structured (TCW does not allow for anything to have any long-term impact on any of the characters, major events aren't discussed again once the episode/arc ends). For me, it's more seen in how clear-headed they seem to be about their situation, how aware they are of how much their situation sucks but they also recognize that if they DON'T fight, then they'll still suffer the consequences and helping protect innocent people is still the right thing to do. This is basically exactly what Rex tells Cut during that episode The Deserter. He also says something similar to Ahsoka in season 7 about how complicated the clones' relationship is to the war since they wouldn't exist without it, but none of them LIKE it, either. That recognition that they can't change the universe to suit them but that it doesn't mean they can't do ANYTHING is very Jedi-like to me.

I do think that the clones probably have a very different relationship with death than many other species simply because they'd have been raised to expect that they'd all die young and once the war starts, so many of them DO die that it would likely impact how they approach relationships. They don't seem to steer clear of relationships ENTIRELY (or at least, Cody and Rex don't seem to do so), despite how likely it is that those relationships might not last very long. It clearly does impact them when people they care about die, since Cody and Rex have that conversation in season 7's Bad Batch arc about all the people they've lost and how hard it is to be the one that survives in a war. It DOES impact them to see their own killed, it has a long-term effect on them as the war drags on, but Rex himself has said that his beliefs mean that he can't just walk away from the war, either. The only way his loved ones and his people stop dying is to do everything in his power to END the war. And that, again, is an extremely Jedi-like approach to this kind of situation and to the war itself. It's entirely possible that the Jedi helped them be able to reach this conclusion, that their guidance and openness about their OWN values and philosophies could've helped Rex learn what HIS values are. We do see Anakin helping guide Rex in an emotional moment during the same Bad Batch arc in season 7 of TCW, although I'd be willing to bet that Rex probably benefited more from Obi-Wan's guidance than Anakin's in the early days.

Obviously there is the fact that the clones seem to practice non-attachment in part because they've had no choice in entering this war and they'd likely go insane if they didn't learn how to let go to some degree, so the circumstances that led to the clones doing this isn't ideal, but that doesn't mean that the connection between their values and the Jedi's values isn't there and wouldn't help make that bond even deeper.

With the "found family/adopted family" thing for Mandos, my experience of it in the higher canon seems to indicate that it still follows VERY nuclear family guidelines (one Mando adopts their specific foundling and now they are considered parent and child, much like with Din Djarin and Grogu). This isn't really something the clones can emulate very well. There obviously are different generations of clones, but they aren't the ones choosing to produce more clones, and they likely aren't encouraged to create familial bonds with each other that way. We do also see older clones helping take care of younger ones sometimes (99 obviously has some sort of relationship with the Domino squad, there's a red-uniform clone leading a group of younglings to safety on Kamino once, and an older clone taking care of the group of younglings brought to see Mace and Anakin's ship), but even 99 tends to think of himself as a "brother" to the other clones, no matter how much older he might actually be. He is NOT their father nor do any of them really seem to see him as one.

And this, to me, might also be another way the clones and the JEDI can connect. The Jedi also don't really emulate nuclear family bonds. Jedi appear to be raised in groups when they're very young and are raised by several different adult Jedi. Then at some point when they reach teenagerhood, they presumably get chosen by a Master and become a Padawan. A lot of people see Master/Padawan relationships as very close to parent/child, but as we see with several of our canon Master/Padawan pairs, it's not always quite that clear. Anakin refers to Obi-Wan as "like a father" to him, but Obi-Wan calls Anakin his "brother" later. It's possible the relationship developed from one to the other over time, it's also possible that the two of them simply see their relationship differently. They're only 14 years apart, so it's not QUITE enough of an age difference to be obviously parent/child, but it's much larger than most sibling relationships. And also of course Anakin has already HAD a parent in his life that he still remembers as his parent (and he had the beginnings of a more parental relationship with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was Qui-Gon's student, which muddies the waters even more). And there's Ahsoka and Anakin who are only 6 years apart or so and thus WAY too close in age to ever really be in a parent/child dynamic and they tend to be written with a more sibling-like relationship in mind (and I believe Ahsoka refers to him as her older brother to Trace in season 7). There's a comic where Obi-Wan is asked if Anakin is his son and Obi-Wan's response is "He's my Padawan," indicating that it is a DIFFERENT relationship to a typical parent/child relationship. It is something wholly unique.

And that's kind-of how I tend to see clone relationships with each other, too. They call each other brothers ("same heart, same blood" as Fives says), but it does seem to encompass something closer to "brothers in arms" than a more literal definition. But of course, they ARE clones and they DO share the same genetics for the most part, and that clearly does impact their relationships with each other, too. Their relationships with each other MIGHT have some familial aspects to them, but they also might end up feeling pretty distant since there are millions of them and they obviously don't all know everybody. Maybe some of them feel closer to other clones than anybody else, maybe some of them try to create more distance so as to better express their individuality. It's never going to fit into your basic nuclear family formulas. Maybe sometimes it gets close, maybe some of those labels can feel appropriate enough, but they'd also be something entirely and wholly unique to them, DIFFERENT from the way anyone else understands those same labels.

I like taking those "artificial" elements to the clones that could be viewed as similar to the Mandos and making them super unimportant to the clones. Specifically the armor, because the Mandos are basically defined by it. I love making headcanons that the clones barely care about their armor. They would never swap armor as a declaration of affection (romantic or otherwise). Their armor isn't SHIT, but it does get damaged and lost, so it seems a little silly to use it that way. They can't get attached to their armor any more than they can get attached to anything else. It's a practical thing to them, not a sentimental one. It also isn't something passed down through hundreds of years and multiple generations of their family the way it is for the Mandalorians. It was likely made new just a few years ago at most and they're likely the first one to ever use it and the chances that anyone would end up using THEIR armor after they died seem pretty minimal. The armor is also representative of the war they all feel such complicated things about and I like thinking that, in a happy fix-it AU, VERY VERY FEW OF THEM would keep it and plenty of them would actually destroy the armor as a symbol of their freedom.

And like with the language, there's never any indication they know it or care about speaking it, but we DO see a couple of them asking Obi-Wan about a TWI'LEK word once. We know they travel a lot and probably do have some level of interaction with locals sometime, so maybe instead of using Mando'a words, they start picking up fun words from other languages around the galaxy. Maybe they end up using a mishmash of different words from different languages and each battalion ends up with their own "dialect" almost depending on the words they learned from their various missions. They obviously are trained enough not to use them in formal situations, but it's something that comes out in their downtime maybe.

I love both the ideas about clone food, either that they have the worst creations known to man that only they could enjoy OR that they intentionally always make the blandest food possible because it's what they're used to and it's almost like comfort food to them.

One of my clone food headcanons was that the clones actually really lean towards FUSION food options. For the Jedi, we know that they obviously have a culture full of different species, but their food options might end up just full of different options of dishes from the cultures in the Order. It's not a FUSION of cultures so much as it is just a lot of variety. But the clones don't have access to all of the ingredients or equipment to manage that, so they have to make do what little they DO get. Much like with the language, I also like to think that they sometimes are able to pick up a few random food items from the places they visit and then try to figure out how to incorporate them into dishes with whatever else they've got. They're likely not trying to replicate an entire dish they've had (if they've even had the opportunity to try a whole dish), but just trying to figure out how to cook maybe one specific fruit they found or seeing if this thing that looks like a nut might make for a good garnish of sorts. And some of them could end up coming out really bad because they don't always know what they're doing, but they slowly start to learn and some of the food they create is actually REALLY GOOD, it's just... not from any one specific culture because they had to combine like flour from Ryloth and some fruit from Rodia and some of their own protein rations to try to create it. It's different, it's not BAD, but it could range from best thing you've ever eaten even though you couldn't explain what it tasted like if your life depended on it... all the way to just being a straight up acquired taste kind of dish.

And that's what clone cuisine ends up being known for because they refuse to be relegated to only one kind of food, they want to try EVERYTHING and see how it works but they have to make do with the ingredients and knowledge that they have. And in happy fix-it AUs, they would just continue to do that even after they DO have access to tons of ingredients and equipment and recipes. They COULD replicate specific dishes if they wanted, and maybe to do that sometimes too, but they also just love experimenting with different ingredients and flavors and seeing what happens.

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.

[egophiliac]

I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!

I am not normal about any of these characters!

[irisbaggins]

In rewatching the season, I'm noticing how clever Aabria and Brennan were in crafting Tula's story. How well thought out everything was.

Specifically, the bear. It's been mentioned so many times before, but with the context of the completed season, I cannot help but be in awe at the skilful storytelling at display here. The way in which the Blue is described to appear wrong only in reference to Tula and her heart, the way in which Tula talks about curiosity and and having experienced knowing someone who died because of it. Of how Aabria describes to Izzy how Tula looks when she heals the bear, of how Aabria specifically points out that Tula recognises the commonalities between herself and the bear. These breadcrumbs that mean little in the beginning, that tell everything at the end. It's amazing, stunning, masterful storytelling. I am in awe.