#hurt/comfort fic rec masterlist | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

onehoplessromantic · 1 year ago

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MASTERLIST

-constantly being updated- <- (that’s a lie)

updated 11/1/2024 [link check]

!!authors!! if u want ur work removed plz dm me:)

Helloooo! its been a while hasn’t it? School is dying down so I finally had a chance to update this master list! I have updated the counts and info on fics that were already there and added a bunch more (new idols get hype). another fun new thing is that im going to open my taglist, so whenever i update a new chapter or add a new fic or whatever, whoever wants to will get a notification. all you have to do is just add a note to the post that says “taglist” and ill add u, im trusting that youre over 16. anyways! enjoy the new library of fics!!!

peace 🫶🏻

PSA: if you want to be kept up to date with the happenings of this list you can sign up for my tag list here so you will be notified when i add fics or chapters and you can choose to keep up with bigger announcements as well

fluff-> 🤍 | smut -> 🍋 | angst -> 🌧️ | major tw -> ‼️

Jeon Jungkook

♡ I Want You to Stay | @ahundredtimesover

series | wc: 261.3k | 🌧️🤍‼️

boss!jungkook x assistant!reader

PLEASE READ WARNINGS

idiot strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers if you squint, k-drama feels, angst, drama, fluff, smut, sexual themes, power dynamics, anxiety, depictions of assault and aggression [chapter 8] (specific warnings on post)

♡ strong enough | @hyukaslvr

series *ongoing* | current wc: 32k | 🌧️

idol!jungkook x idol!reader

idiot exes to lovers, slow burn, kdrama feels (kind of like our beloved summer minus the salt and water if yk loll), angst, drama, fluff, smut

♡ guilty pleasures | @kookslastbutton

series *ongoing* | current wc: 28.4k | 🌧️🍋

ceo!jungkook x reader (?) idol!tae x reader

!!!okay so the fate of the story has not yet been decided, you’ll get it once you read!!! (not poly!!)

angst, smut, fluff, loverstoexesto (?), coworkersto (?), unrequited love, smut, sexism, morally grey-ness, swearing, alcohol consumption, sexism in media and business, toxic relationships, abandonment issues, explicit sexual content

♡ things you don’t know | @btsgotjams27

oneshot | wc: 4.3k | 🌧️🤍

jungkook x f!reader

angst, ex best friends au, language, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up

“i thought i’d never see you again”

♡ the farmhouse | @solecize

series | wc: 52.3k | 🌧️🤍

jungkook x reader

estranged friends to lovers, small town au, childhood best friends, slice of life, cowboy-ish jungkook, grief, mentions of death, death, fear, drinking and substance use, mutually pining, explicit language, jk as a parental figure (you’ll see), angst, fluff, growing up

♡ Chasing Cars | @oddinary4bts

series *ongoing* | current wc: 155.2k | 🌧️🍋

brothers best friend!jungkook x younger sister!reader

18+ mdni!, forbidden love? au, college!au, slice of life, smut, angst, fluff

♡ The Boy with Galaxies in His Eyes | @oddinary4bts

oneshot | wc: 52.9k | 🌧️🍋

idol!jungkook x tattoo-artist!reader

fwb to lovers, idol!au, angst (a lot), smut (a whole lot too), fluff, oc’s ex-boyfriend died and it takes an important place in the story, swearing, fuckboy Jungkook, fuckgirl oc, a whole bunch of red flags, miscommunication (they learn how to communicate don’t worry), exes that can’t stay out of your life, alcohol, they be a little toxic but they get better, explicit content: fingering, pussy slapping, squirting, oral sex (male and female receiving), mouth fucking, dirty talking, jungkook has a slight begging kink and an exhibitionism kink (not that present in the fic), dom!jk, switch!reader, car sex, sex in a tent, hair pulling (I think), tits/nipple play, unprotected sex, a little bit of ass slapping, mentions of choking

♡ For the Birds | @yoonieper

series *ongoing* | current wc: 65.9k | 🌧️🤍🍋‼️

jungkook x reader

slow burn, lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation! please read with caution!!

♡ how long will we fall | @jiminrings

oneshot | wc: 14k | 🌧️

jungkook x reader

soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love, a lot of angst, more fluff n wholesome moments, emotional constipation, yearning, jealousy, swearing, redemption arc, ngl jk kinda toxic

♡ touchin’ | @whatifyoulivelikethat

oneshot | wc: idk loll | 🍋🍋🍋

jungkook x reader

rated M (18+) for language, lovers that call themselves friends-with-benefits because jk is a fool, both parties are freaking annoying tbh, smut (fem reader, double lip piercing jk, heavy petting, standing doggy with clothes on, lots of neck making out, light nipple play, lowkey forearm kink), fluff, non-idol!au - jk is wearing the outfit from his 2023.06.29 weverse live

i dont usually recommend smut but this was just too good not to

♡ first class | @girlygguk

oneshot | wc: 25k+ | 🍋🤍🌧️

rich student!jk x (f)rich student!reader

childhood best friends, nepo baby!reader & jk, kth younger sister!reader, heavy pining, language, emotionally constipated characters, miscommunication, toxic/unhealthy friendships, fwb relationship, fighting, blood, alchohol consumption, smut (see fic for full warnings there was way too many to write here)

Min Yoongi

♡ Countermelody | @bonvoyagenoona

series | wc: ~100k | 🍋🌧️🤍

yoongi x reader

small town enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, smut, humor, producers!yoongi, hobi, namjoon, songwriters!yoongi, hobi, namjoon, musician!reader

♡ Oh! Darling | @yoongiofmine

series | wc: 108k | 🤍🍋🌧️

professor!yoongi x student!reader

fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, university au, mild age gap (emphasis on mild, yn in grad school and yoongi in his early 30s), forbidden romance

♡ Kitsungi | @moni-logues

series | wc: 105k | 🤍🍋🌧️‼️

yoongi x reader

strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non idol!au, angst, smut, eventual fluff ‼️alchohol consumption, yoongi and reader are both depressed, depressive episodes, attempted suicide, toxic relationships (readers ex), jokes about death, death, vomit, self harm, self deprecation, language (specific warnings posted for each chapter)

NOTE: please read the warnings carefully, there is a lot of heavy topics in this read

♡ Grey Area | @blushoseoks

series *ongoing* | current wc: 98,832 | 🌧️🍋

min yoongi x reader

heavy angst, language, alcohol consumption, university au, soulmate au, eventual smut, weed consumption, slow burn, death

♡ Illicit Favors | @yoongiofmine

oneshot | wc: 29k | 🍋🍋🍋

producer!yoongi x author!reader

smut with plot, friends to lovers, smut, more smut, even MORE smut, mutual pining, virgin reader, teaching sex au, this oneshot is amazing plz read it

♡ back-burner | @yoonpobs

series | wc: 95k | 🌧️🍋‼️

yoongi x f!reader

sisters best friend!au, best friend to lovers!au, sorta frenimies?to lovers!au, angst, *slow burn*, smut, fluff, one sided pining (?), longing, sibling jealousy, insecurities, family trauma, explicit language, eventual smut, eventual fluff, MAJOR ANGST, sexual harassment, mentions of poor mental health, alcohol as a coping mechanism, mentions of poor health, neglecting ones health [specific warnings in chapters]

guys this is another decently heavy one with a lot of sensitive topics so make the decision that is best for you while reading this

Kim Mingyu

♡ Today was (not) a fairytale | @babyleostuff

oneshot | wc: 1.6k | 🌧️🤍

idol!mingyu x fem!reader

established relationship, mingyu forgets your anniversary…

♡ Snowbound | @papermatisse

series *ongoing* | current wc: 17.6k | 🌧️🌧️🌧️

kim mingyu x f!reader

death mentioned/near death experiences, depression, unresolved mourning, cursing, emotional neglect, slight age gap (mingyu is slightly aged up), reader implied to be smaller than mingyu, stranger danger (?), extreme weather (?)

♡ How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread) | @gyuswhore

oneshot | wc: 12.4k | 🌧️🤍

idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

one sided pining, slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, reader has issues opening up

♡ Hits Different (…’cause it’s you) | @gyuswhore

2-part series | wc: 40k | 🌧️🤍🍋

kim mingyu x reader

based off ‘hits different’ by taylor swift, brothers best friend!au, brother!seokmin, smut (part 2), friends(?) to lovers, university!au, slowburn, mingyus a bit of an airhead and an ass, reader has a hard time managing her feelings, lots of frustrated tears, one sided pining, user toruro x minghao make an appearance, swearing, theres another woman (gasp…..but shes cool so), nayeon is a darling, seungchol is kind of annoying but we love him, smut tags in part 2

♡ sugar and you | @97-liners

oneshot | wc: 4.5k | 🤍

mingyu x reader

in which mingyu is an idealistic pastry chef, and you’re a cynical wedding planner who doesn’t believe in love.

fluff, just really sweet (hah) fluff, one-sided enemies to lovers

♡ back to december | @toruro

oneshot | wc: 4.3k | 🍋🤍🌧️

mingyu x reader

miscommunication, unrequited love (not fr tho), big dick mingyu, sex in a car, riding, fingering, pet names, creampie

guys that was a lot of smit warnings but i promise its not a smut fic just read plz

Lee Minho

♡ Invisible Thread | @astraystayyh

series | wc: 37k | 🤍🌧️

minho x reader

university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies cuz they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst, poor relationships with parents, insecurities, she/her reader, mention of alcohol

♡ Lost in Translation | @moonjxsung

one-shot | wc: 26.5k | 🤍🌧️🍋

minho x reader

university au, babysitter!reader, older brother!minho, smut, angst, fluff, mention of pregnancy, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), pet names, (see other warnings)

Lee Felix

♡ forgive me for what i haven’t done | @rachalixie

one-shot | wc: 17.5k | 🤍🌧️

prince!felix x princess!reader

kingdom au, angst, betrayal, strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort, she/her reader, emotional manipulation and physical violence from readers father, mentions of violence

Bang Chan

♡ Dispatch | @baby-yongbok

oneshot | wc: 1.3k | 🌧️‼️

husband! 911 operator!bang chan x afab!reader

themes of home invasion, mentions of guns, please read responsibly!!!

Chan has heard a lot of calls being a 911 operator but this is never one he wanted to experience.

Kim Namjoon

♡ My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold | @daechwitatamic

series | wc: 76.3k | 🌧️🍋

KNJ x f!reader, unrequited KTH x reader

college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, slow burn, eventual smut, pov changes, convos revolving around the past loss of immediate family members, language, drinking, angst, a LOT of poetry, eventual smut - sections will have individual warnings

Jung Hoseok

♡ Flower | @readyplayerhobi

series | wc: 177k | 🤍🌧️🍋‼️

hoseok x reader

depression, anxiety, self-loathing, lack of self-esteem, oral sex (receiving and giving) penetrative sex, fingering, kink exploration, anal, panic attack, discussion of car accidents, mentions of character death, body issues, sex toys, stress, drinking [smut isnt till later in the series btw]

Choi Seungcheol

♡ Always Only You | @honeyhotteoks

oneshot | wc: 14.2k | 🌧️🍋

s.coups x reader

non idol!seungcheol x fem!reader, older brother mingyu, seungcheol is mingyus bff, childhood friends to lovers, brothers best friend, reader is called a sl*t in a mean way by her shitty date, v protective cheol, reckless driving, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), reader is curvy and descriptors like full, thick, etc are used, makeouts, grinding, cheol is obsessed with pussy, oral sex (f receiving), hand stuff, smut

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bobalegsanji · 5 months ago

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Masterlist 𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡

BobalegSanji

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Are you there? -> ‘’This didn’t happen.’’ ‘’It did, and we’re going to talk about it,’’ Zoro says, not caring about what Sanji has to say. ‘’You’re not doing well, and we’re going to fix it.’’ Sanji sighs. He’s still leaning on Zoro, he desperately needs Zoro’s steadiness as his feet occasionally trip over one another. ‘’I’m doing just fine,’’ he responds, barely audible.

Modern Zosan AU. Fluff/Angst. Words: 11,824.

Trigger Warnings: disordered eating, anxiety/panic attacks, depression, self-worth issues.

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Trust me -> Late night talks between a certain cook and a swordsman. Or, Sanji feels the need to learn more about Zoro after Thriller Bark. Or, Zoro needs to learn more about Sanji after Whole Cake Island

Zosan. Words: 7,806. Chapters: 2/2,

Trigger Warnings: mentions of anxiety.

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I've got you -> Sanji closes his eyes, leaning into the feeling of the warm hands on his face. ‘’Please…’’ he whispers, ‘’I… Please. Promise me you will if I ask.’’

Zosan. Words: 3,976. WCI spoilers!

Trigger Warnings: self-worth issues, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced childhood abuse

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Umakemenotwannadie -> Sanji just needs a little love in a world that couldn’t care less

Modern magic AU. Zosan. Chapters: 6/?.

Trigger Warnings: depression, substance abuse, implied drug addiction, past childhood abuse, panic/anxiety attacks

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Paranoid (again) -> Sanji can’t move. The arms around his neck keep him trapped in place. He can feel a wet spot on the side of his neck, but he can��t offer Nami any support right now. He’s too busy fighting back his own tears.

Zosan. Modern AU. Words: 5,401.

Trigger Warnings: gender dysphoria, depression, suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced to self-harm, substance abuse

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

Don't fight that feeling -> Sanji's insecure about his dreams. Usopp reminds him it's not just his dream.

Sanuso. Words: 2,486

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, implied/referenced depression, self-harm

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

Take me out of my mind -> Zoro thought he knew everything about Sanji. So why hadn’t he noticed Sanji slipping up? The answer is obvious. It swims around in Zoro’s thoughts, day and night, for the past few days. He had known. He had just hoped Sanji would be able to solve the problems himself. But as it turns out, Sanji couldn’t.

Modern Zosan au. Words: 2,910.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempt (aftermath), substance abuse, drug abuse, refereces to depression

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 months ago

Note

Hi! Hope you're having a good week!

I'm looking for suggestions of fics with a particular brand of sadness. Ones with that absolutely devastating sort of sadness that rips the characters and the reader to shreds, not afraid of character deaths etc.

These are some examples of ones I am talking about:

carrying up his morning tea

On the Losing Side

Ten Minutes

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest

We Go Anywhere But To The Ground

Alone On the Water

If you or anyone have any suggestions it would be much appreciated.

Hey Lovely!

OOOF those are some heartbreaking fics for SURE!! And I've got the perfect lists for you:

Major Character Death / Heavy Angst

Major Character Death / Heavy Angst Pt 2

One Lives, One Dies

John’s Suicide Before TEH

Dies After the Fall and Becomes a Ghost

John Has Cancer

Main Character Depression

Grief and Mourning

Burn So Slow it Hurts

Burn So Slow it Hurts Pt 2

Loss of a Child

Pretty much every one of those fics are on one of those lists!

And I was recced this one in the past as a pretty painful one:

Into the Gloaming by Vulpesmellifera (M, 8,385 w., 4 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Child Death, Grief / Mourning, Mentions of Cancer, Corvids, Fever Dreams, Hopeful Ending) – She lays the sage bundle down in one of his seashells, avoiding the label. How he loved cataloging natural items. That sharp mind of his so naturally tended to the sciences, and she’d taken great joy in encouraging him all his life. All the first thirteen years of it. The last year has been entirely different. His hand lies just outside the white comforter. When she touches it, the chill of his skin sends a shiver down her spine. His lips move, his voice as soft as dead, dry leaves. “What’s that, love?” she says. “In the trees,” he says, his eyes still closed. “Is it John there in the trees? I think he’s waiting for me.” Viola turns her gaze out the window and to the closest tree, a resplendent cherry in the throes of autumn. In the branches there, for just a second, she thinks she sees it: a black bird, feathers gleaming in the sun.

====

And for anyone who does need that bit of happiness at the end:

Angst With a Happy Ending

Angst With a Happy Ending Pt. 2

Angst With a Happy Ending Pt. 3

Angst With a Happy Ending Pt. 4

I have more Angst lists on this masterpost here :)

If anyone has some more to suggest that are just gut-wrenching, please let us know!

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #heavy angst fics #angst fics #my fic recs #gut wrenching fics #depressing fics #hurt comfort fics #fic masterlist

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911ficrecs · 2 years ago

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Hurt/Comfort Masterlist

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things - 11,163 words, not rated

Summary: Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

blue enough to bruise by renecdote - 3,161 words, teen+

Summary: Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

They lock eyes for a second, half a second, Buck’s wide and afraid, Eddie’s probably a match with the way his heart is pounding hard enough to hurt, nothing either of them can do, knowing that there is nothing either of them can do, and then—Buck is falling.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels - 5,434 words, explicit

Summary: In which Buck sleeps his way into a relationship with Eddie, but not in the way you'd think.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea - 13,799 words, mature

Summary: “You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

i'm sinking deeper (reaching for the end of the light) by moodyreindeer - 8,716 words, mature

Summary: "I'm just so tired."

post 3.04, rewrite of 3.05 - when all is said and done, Buck is just really fucking tired of feeling alone.

Life Is Just The Way You Hold Me by allyasavedtheday - 10,142 words, teen+

Summary: Eddie needs a hug and some sleep. Buck, quite literally, offers his services.

Love You Sober by Child_Of_Wonderland - 4,545 words, teen+

Summary: Buck twirls the beer bottle around in his fingers and tries to ignore the rapid fading of the warmth in his chest. It's not a feeling he can mimic, no matter how hard he may try, and his brain won't stray from a perfect image of Eddie. To be loved back, that's all he really wants.

one part trust, three parts betrayal (just add fire) by wonderfool (foolmetal) - 14,925 words, teen+

Summary: Buck's parents are in town. It all goes downhill from there.

Reaching In The Dark by Pline - 38,713 words, general

Summary: It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

real family by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor - 5,578 words, general

Summary: Buck has a son, but only few people know about him because of Buck's abusive ex-husband. Buck has been terrified of his ex-husband finding him and taking his son away from him, but a minor accident with his son makes him realize that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he told the 118 about his son.

returning home by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor - 5,162 words, teen+

Summary: Eddie has been away in the army a few years, leaving Buck at home to watch over their son, Christopher. Things are stressful for Buck, but he tries to put on a brave face for Christopher while they patiently wait for Eddie's return.

Some wounds never heal by yellowdaisy2023 - 8,964 words, general

Summary: After Buck comes out as bi, Ana voices her dislike for Buck.

there's frost in the air (but there's home in your eyes) by rogerzsteven - 3,702 words, teen+

Summary: Buck and Eddie are trapped in a train crash.

this is me trying (at least i'm trying) by screaminghalfpastmidnight - 15,393 words, teen+

Summary: Buck never really dealt with his issues after the tsunami and the team never really asked so here he is, two years later - the pier's reopening, a victim shows up and thanks Buck, plus the city wants to give him an award for not dying out of pure luck. So, yeah. Buck's not doing well, everyone knows and Eddie's unsure which lines he should be crossing now that he and Buck are in some weird, middle stage of knowing that they will be together, but aren't yet due to personal reasons (like figuring their own relationship trauma out so they're not shitty partners).

you can say we're still friends ( but i don't wanna pretend ) by swiftiediaz - 8,487 words, teen+

Summary: Eddie talks about his feelings for Buck. Hen and Chimney take matters into their own hands and set them up on a blind date without their knowledge.

#buddie fic rec #ubddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hurt/comfort #hurt!buck #hurt!eddie #masterlist

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pattwtf · 1 year ago

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I read @morning-star-joy 's A strager's heart without a home last summer... And it made me feel so many things in such a deep way I got attached to this story in a level I didn't think was possible.

I decided to read it all again last week and... God, i relived it all again, it felt like the very first time...

If you have not read it yet, or if you did some time ago, PLEASE, read it.

a stranger's heart without a home masterlist

Pairing: rivals to friends with benefits slowburn Joel x F!Reader, Post-Outbreak

Fic Summary: Sleeping with Joel Miller was supposed to be a one time thing. When the older brother of your closest friend showed up in Jackson, you hadn't expected him to stay more than a day. You'd both given into a brief moment of passion before he left, and that was the end of that. It didn't matter, you were never going to see him again. Then Joel returns a few months later, and screws up everything about the comforting life you had established in Jackson.

Fic Tags: One Night Stands, Rivals into Friends with Benefits, Emotional Slow Burn (really slow), Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining Idiots, Angst & Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family (lots of Tommy & Reader and Dina & Reader friendships), Long Chapters

Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader around 30, Joel 56) Themes of Grief/PTSD/Depression with mentions of death (family members, both Reader and Joel) that can be heavy at times, Specific Warnings in each Chapter

Status: Complete

ao3 link

official art by @cynibuns

tribute edit by @dundienominee

moodboard/graphic by @planet-marz1

Reader fanart by @mydzygro-art

chapter 1: I am not the only traveler

chapter 2: the holidays linger like bad perfume

chapter 3: do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways (18+ Smut)

chapter 4: there it is again, that funny feeling

chapter 5: break the silence; damn the dark, damn the light

chapter 6: and I'll never see you again if I can help it (18+ Smut)

chapter 7: look at us, you and I, back at it again (18+ Smut)

chapter 8: maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway

chapter 9: I thought that you’d be here by now (18+ Smut)

chapter 10: can the killer in me tame the fire in you?

chapter 11: this slope is treacherous, this path is reckless (18+ Smut)

chapter 12: you take what you get, and you turn it into honesty

chapter 13: burned out flames should never reignite, but I thought you might take me home (18+ Smut)

chapter 14: he built a fire just to keep me warm

chapter 15: speak to me until your history’s no mystery to me

chapter 16: and it feels good to be known so well (18+ Smut)

chapter 17: baby, it's Halloween, and we can be anything (18+ Smut)

chapter 18: yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you (18+ Smut)

chapter 19: either I'm careless or I wanna get caught (18+ Smut)

chapter 20: with your boots beneath my bed; forever is the sweetest con (18+ Smut)

epilogue

(listed in order of how they occur after the main fic)

morning after chapter 20

waking up to oral (18+ Smut)

painfully domestic (kisses to get their attention)

drunk kisses (18+ Smut)

lingerie & breeding kink (18+ Smut)

(epilogue takes place here)

not much I need (nonsexual intimacy)

kissing scars

easy, plaid-shirt mornings (18+ Smut)

would it be enough if I could never give you peace? (Reader's anxiety)

chapter 13 sneak peek (Jealous!Joel's POV Date Scene)

chapter 13 scene (Jealous!Joel Smut after Date 18+)

chapter 13 cut endings (Angst af)

chapter 14 sneak peek (Reflection Joel's POV)

chapter 15 sneak peek (Totally Casual Drinks Between Friends)

chapter 16 sneak peek (Dina and Ellie Plan)

chapter 17 sneak peek (The Dance)

chapter 18 sneak peek (Joel Pines for You)

chapter 18 secret scene (Tommy finally fucking figures it out)

chapter 19 sneak peek (Tommy and Reader)

fic playlist

MC playlist

Taylor-coded MC playlist (for my fellow Swifties!)

Joel POV playlist

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller smut #joel miller hurt/comfort #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller series #joel miller x f!reader #fic masterlist #a stranger's heart series #ASHWAH series #morning-star-joy #fic rec #one of my favs #no doubt #this fic makes me things

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bed-chemist · 1 year ago

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❝bed chemist's joel miller recs❞

⋆ key ⋆ smut: 𖥔, fluff: ♡

a/n: okay so i realized i read a lot of joel content. this is the best of the best. the creme de la creme of joel fics. this is a part two to ❝barbie's recs❞ because that rec list was being clogged by our father in christ, joel.

this is constantly being updated because i use it instead of reblogging to limit blog clutter. if you like any of the fics mentioned, def follow them... but consider giving me a like and a follow for compiling this list. ofc read their content warnings before just diving into anything, but hopefully, the key helps. ─⋆✰ liv

Albums

angsty pregnancy fic by @avenging-fandoms ♡

Belong to me by @chloeangelic 𖥔♡

Best Man by @pedge-page 𖥔

Boyfriend's dad!joel by @joelscruff 𖥔

Elementary by @guess-my-next-obsession 𖥔♡ literally my favorite joel fic of all time. i have yet to find another to top it, no offense to any other writer. it inspires me so much and i can read it over and over again.

He Tells Me by @just-some-random-blogger this joel x reader x ellie combo and the sweetest pie combo are so similar and i love it

i know it when i see it by @bageldaddy 𖥔

My Best Friend Joel by @mannaima 𖥔

pretty little wife | morning glory by @beardedjoel 𖥔

say it with your hands & put your lips close to mine by @swiftispunk 𖥔 listen... i will say i am no better than a frat boy.

stay awake by @toxicanonymity 𖥔♡

strawberry | frosting by @joelsgreys 𖥔♡ arf arf. woof woof.

sweetest pie by @fanficbarbie 𖥔♡ self plug cause i can lol but please please read? maybe.

The life you’ve always wanted by @kkcauseway 𖥔♡

Without a Warning by @chloeangelic 𖥔

Singles

A part of you, a part of me by @apollyonsdarksecrets 𖥔♡

Attraction spell by @jksprincess10 𖥔

Cup of Sugar by @strang3lov3 𖥔

Damage done by @bluebeary-jay 𖥔

✦ 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 by @psychedelic-ink 𖥔

Home by @poeticbarnes ♡ my comfort fic for obvious reasons.

in control by @talaok 𖥔

Lovers and Love. by @peterparkersnose ♡

pretty when I cry by @awesumsaus 𖥔♡

red dress (pregnant) by @toxicanonymity 𖥔♡

The Best Part of Waking Up by @atomicladytimetravel 𖥔

switching the positions by @cupofjoel 𖥔♡

toolbox by @palioom 𖥔

You're perfect, baby. by @amy172 ♡ foaming at the fucking mouth with this one

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madamechrissy · 7 months ago

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Kofi link (if you feel generous & wanna buy me a ☕️)

ꔫ Jujutsu Kaisen ꔫ

ꔫ Gojo x Reader-Time after Time- Finished- Wc: 103k- (Ao3 link) CEO Gojo, you're his lead assistant and you put in your two weeks notice, so Gojo pulls out ALL the stops- cute/fun smut (first jjk fanfic I madeee)

Take Me Home Tonight - Finished-Wc: 136k- law professor Gojo/x law student (A03 Link) you hook up with a sexy white haired man, only to be in his class two months later!?!? witty/banter, law setting-smut

Fractured Desires - Finished- explicit- wc 95k (angsty/ toxic/smutfest) Ao3 link You're Suguru Geto's girl, and he decides to 'share you- which becomes a fkn MESS (Starts off as Sugu/reader- Extremely explicit-yandere asf)

Silent Serenades - Ongoing- wc 146k - You are promised to Marry Duke Gojo, you're the diamond after all. Only thing is, he HATES you. Angsty arranged marriage AU, 1800s-explicit- cruel Duke Gojo- AO3 Link

Healing Hearts -Dr. Gojo/intern- ongoing- You're an exhausted intern, and you just so happen to be Dr. Gojo's intern. - Hospital setting/witty/light angst Ao3 Link- 49k

Losing Control Now- Mafia AU, Satoru becomes obsessed with you. The pretty bartender- lots of smut, Satoru being obsessed, mafia themes -ongoing-7k

Gojo MiniSeries- Would you come with me? -You have been Satoru's best friend forever, and one day he asks you a really big favor- marry him. Finished- three parts 22k

Gojo long oneshots here- Masterlist - Drabbles/ short oneshots : Masterlist

ꔫ Sukuna x Reader - Cursed Promises - finished- 24k words- You are arranged to marry King Sukuna to save your village, everyone is terrified of him, but are you?- true form Sukuna smutty and sweet Ao3

Ongoing- Pour it up- 26k wc- you're a mom fallen on hard times, and decide to strip again, only to meet Sukuna, the owner and he needs you- mafia/stripclub AU AO3

Oneshots/Drabbles here: Masterlist

ꔫ Geto x Reader- Up in the Air: Finished- Wc: 103k - Masterlist -jilted at the altar, you meet Suguru Geto on a plane to your 'honeymoon' - and he helps you find yourself again. hurt/comfort, sweet and smutty

Geto Mini Series- Baby, you're no good- arranged to marry psychotic cult leader Suguru, will you make it out alive?- enemies to lovers- wc 14.5k

Oneshots/Drabbles here: Masterlist

ꔫ Nanami x Reader- But it's Better if You Do- (Ao3) Finished- Wc 92k- Masterlist- You're a barista AND a stripper, and in love w/Nanami Kento for a year, when finally he lands right in your strip club!? Sweet, smutty-daddy nanami-fluffy

Oneshots/Drabbles here: Masterlist

ꔫ Toji x Reader Dirty Little Secret -(Ao3) Finished- Wc: 86k - (Masterlist) Toji is your dad (Shiu) best friend visiting on spring break, what is supposed to be a hookup becomes so much more- smutty ASF, freaky, age gap

Oneshots/drabbles here: Masterlist

ꔫ Choso x Reader-Keep this Lowkey- Finished- After nasty breakups, you and Choso decide to become friends w/benefits - angsty/sweet- smut- 57k A03

Smut Drabbles: here & here & here

ꔫ Satosugu x Reader- oneshots/mini series - Masterlist

JJK men Multi x Reader- Here & here -Kiyotaka here

Blog recs -- Tagsss: #Inbox #Fic recs

About me I'm Chrissy, she/her- a girl mom, 90s bb, millenial, Aries, weeb. Obsessed with hot Anime men. I started writing in February of 2024 after a big break. Romantic comedy, smut with lots of plot. Also angst and darker stories, including Yandere and bdsm (properly tagging them) If you don't like those, skip and move on 💕 I post once or twice a month for each long story typically, oneshots and mini series much faster. Open to requests currently- but I may not always do them or may take time. Currently only writing JJK- open to Black Butler, AOT and maybe more. Characters I write for are - Gojo, Sukuna, Geto, Toji, and some Nanami and Choso. Please be kind and respectful

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outoftheseine · 1 month ago

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- AZRIEL “THE SHADOWSINGER” FIC RECS 2 -

my broody husband | note: please be aware of the authors’ warnings before reading. fics include canon tw’s like: violence, death, grief. some fics have 18+ content so minors please DNI.

part one | main masterlist

SERIES - MULTI-CHAPTERS

my heart has wings • azriel x reader

↳ by @kymawrites

i got cursed like eve got bitten • azriel x rhysand’s sister!reader

↳ by @daycourtofficial

birds of a feather | we should stick together • azriel x reader

↳ by @serpentandlily (very angsty, unrequited love, death)

cauldron-born | part two • azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @itsswritten

only in my dreams • azriel x reader

↳ by @really-fanny-longbottom (angst)

stranded • azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @mcuamerica

exiled by fire • azriel x vanserra!reader

↳ by @acotar-writing

and i wouldn’t marry me, either | part two • azriel x reader

↳ by @bluetimeombre

farewell, my love • azriel x reader

↳ by @allhopesforlove

blessed mistakes • azriel x reader

↳ by @mellowmusings

despite the hatred, despite the love | part two | part three • azriel x reader

↳ by @lidiasloca

scattered vows | part two • azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @azrielslightintheshadows

betrayal • azriel x oc

↳ by @liahaslosthermind

can’t bring myself to hate you • azriel x reader

↳ by @tadpolesonalgae

the spymaster’s secret • azriel x reader

↳ by @liahaslosthermind

silence | part two | part three • azriel x healer!reader

↳ by @azmageddon

sunlight in burgundy | part two • azriel x reader

↳ by @svearehnn

god’s game • azriel x oc

↳ by @toodelusionalforreality

ONE-SHOTS - BLURBS - HC’S

anything for you • azriel x reader

↳ by @kymawrites (hurt/comfort, fluff, bad periods)

not me • azriel x reader

↳ by @azsazz (smut, angst but fluff at the end)

at the sake of you • s&r officer!azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @websterss (angst, car accident, fluff)

a helping hand • azriel x reader

↳ by @inkedinshadows (angst, comfort)

he’s my mate • azriel x reader

↳ by @moosesarecute (angst, torture, fluff, comfort)

paper trail • azriel x reader

↳ by @acotarxreader (fluff, angst, comfort, tw: dv)

i only pray, don’t fall away from me • azriel x reader

↳ by @ceoofyearning (hurt/comfort, anxiety, nightmares)

centuries coming • azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @parkerslatte (angst but happy ending)

dinner and dessert • azriel x pregnant!oc

↳ by @ninthcircleofprythian (smut)

drifting away • azriel x reader

↳ by @solbaby7 (angst, mental health issues)

“i think you are pretty attractive yourself” • azriel x reader

↳ by @narnianflame (fluff)

here without you • azriel x reader

↳ by @readychilledwine (angst)

until the last breath • azriel x reader

↳ by @inkedinshadows (angst, death)

i love hate you • azriel x reader

↳ by @mika-no-sekai-blog (angst, jealousy, fluff at the end)

the other woman • azriel x necromancer!reader

↳ by @tadpolesonalgae (angst, violence)

confession • azriel x reader

↳ by @harrystylesfan2686 (very fluffy)

is it love, or just the fear of loneliness? • azriel x reader

↳ by @lidiasloca (angst, doubts, fluff)

love in ink • azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @itsswritten (angst, rejection, blood)

his shadows • azriel x reader

↳ by @cyripticchronicler (fluff, slight angst, a little possessive!azriel)

no damsels here • azriel x reader

↳ by @olive-main (fluff, pining)

in every universe • azriel x reader

↳ by @illyrianbitch (fluff)

by the candlelight • azriel x reader

↳ by @manicmanuscription (suggestive, pining)

flicker out • azriel x reader

↳ by @thelov3lybookworm (angst but happy ending)

healing • azriel x reader

↳ by @cyripticchronicler (angst, torture, comfort, tw: sa)

warm • azriel x reader

↳ by @redheadspark (fluff)

weight in gold • azriel x seraphim!reader

↳ by @yiiyiiwrites (hurt/comfort, angst)

frosted hearts • azriel x fem!reader

↳ by @moonlitstoriess (angst, comfort, smut)

a raging storm • azriel x reader

↳ by @svearehnn (angst)

lay your hand in mine • azriel x reader

↳ by @kymawrites (violence, hurt/comfort, smut)

escaping • azriel x reader

↳ by @eviesaurusrex (fluff)

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mediocre-writing · 20 days ago

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Fic recs Yoongi

Some fics I read this week, and I need to make people read them too lol I'll probably do it with the other members too.

Interlude | MYG | Series Masterlist @yoongiofmine (Idol!Yoongi X Deaf!Reader)

Summary: All Yoongi wanted was to use the last few months before enlisting to work on his solo projects, prepare for his tour. When the silence left around him as his members started to go one by one got too loud, he needed to find something else to fill in the void. But Yoongi would never have guessed that it would come in the form of you… Someone he would never expect to fall in love with.

– This is simply the most beautiful Yoongi series I've ever read.

——

The Consequences of Fucking Up @borathae

“Your break up was messy and painful. All you want to do is to forget about him. His friends, who ever since you ended it with Yoongi see you as their bullying target, make sure that the memory of him stays fresh in your mind however, haunting you day by fucking day. While Yoongi makes it seem as if he gives no fuck about your situation. Until one night he is in front of your door. Drunk and fucking regretful.”

– You won't regret reading it, trust me.

——

his entire world | min yoongi x f!reader | a serendipitous life series @serendipitous-seven

summary: you and yoongi are trying to enjoy your friends' wedding with a very fussy baby

– THIS WAS ONE OF THE SOFTEST THINGS I'VE EVER READ 😭💞

——

F*ck Tradition | Yoongi @dancinglikebutterflywings ( Min Yoongi x Fiancee!Reader)

- Synopsis: Y/N takes Yoongi with her to go wedding dress shopping because her fiancées opinion is the only one that matters.

– I feel like this story and this writer deserves much more recognition, MY GOD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

—

you're okay | myg (m) @taegularities

Summary: Let it hurt and burn. Let it out; and then let it fade away. Let it heal. Yoongi can't lift all your burdens, but he has taught you at least this much over the years.

– This here comforted my heart in a way 😭😭💞💞

—

ex-things - m.yg. @namfinessed

summary: over the years, everything you've owned has belonged to yoongi and everything yoongi's owned has belonged to you but when you break up, everything is your's and everything is his but none of it belongs to the two of you anymore and both of you can't stand it.

– That was adorable and made me smile like a fool.

—

impression | yg @namjoonchronicles

↳ summary many forgot that when you marry someone, you marry their family too, at least that’s how Asian family is like

– This is so cute, I love the husband!Yoongi

—

The Final - Day 02 | MYG | ONESHOT @yoongiofmine

Summary: You've been Yoongi's go-to companion for the past few years, well aware that's all you were going to be. Despite your very real, growing feelings for the rapper, you took what you could get every time. Now, you're backstage at day two of the final leg of his tour when another member takes an interest in you. Will it be enough to make Yoongi realize he's got competition?

– it made me wild and crazy

—

dissertation | yg @namjoonchronicles

↳ summary many people doubted your union, how exactly an artist with as much influence as yoongi be a husband to a wife that is still studying.

– Yoon being the person we all need, This writer is wonderful, please give him a chance. (I'm telling you this writer is amazing)

—

Shy - Yoongi X Reader @7ndipity

Summary: You’re desperately craving your boyfriend's attention, but are too shy to ask for it outright. Luckily, Yoongi knows what you want anyway.

– This is something cute and warm.

—

YES, I WILL DO MORE BECAUSE WE HAVE MANY TALENTED WRITERS.

#yoongi x you #yoongi scenarios #yoongi x reader #yoongi #bts x fem!reader #bts x reader #suga x reader #min yoongi #fanfic #fic rec #fic recs #yoongi recs #suga fic #bts recs #bts fic #bts #bangtan #jungkook x reader

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hp-fanfic-archive · 5 months ago

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Harry/Ron Hurt/Comfort Masterlist | Works With Less Than 5k Words

find the full masterlist directory here

last updated: 09/10/24 | links last checked: 09/10/24

*a mother's love by playitagain [T, 2k]

Molly stumbles upon her boys sharing a bed after a long day of training.

*a real thunderbolt by wheezy weasley [T, 3k]

“Who said you were leaving?” Ron questions. “I think you deserve a bit of a break, sure—honestly, mate, if I thought I could get you to leave for a while, I would make it happen, but I know you’re not going to let the rest of the world clean itself up without your help. I’m just suggesting getting some sleep first. After all, you’ve been through the most, out of everyone here. I say you deserve the rest.” “No, I—” Harry finds it difficult, putting it all into words. “I haven’t got the right,” he settles on, a moment later. “People died, Ron. I didn’t.” “Didn’t you?” the war is over, but that doesn't mean they're done. (Sequel to sea green, see blue)

*Cold Floors and Quicksand by Memori_wanderis [G, 1k]

"For the third time, the sound of furniture being moved in the living room woke Ron up."

*Compass Points by wickersnap [G, 3k, Minor Hermione/Ginny]

“Is this…” Harry croaks, “Is this how you feel when you look at her? When you see her with someone else?” Ron leaves several times throughout their friendship, but he always comes back. It doesn’t mean Harry ever stops feeling each loss like a knife to the gut, though.

*don't leave again by burnthesocks [T, 3k]

Takes place in The Deathly Hallows during the chapter “The Silver Doe,” when Harry tries to get the Gryffindor sword and destroy the locket Horcrux. (When Ron saves Harry.)

*friends just sleep in other beds by intertwiningwords [G, 1k]

harry has nightmares. ron helps.

Fuck It by me_i_and_this_guy [G, 1k]

Ron never thought it would end up like this when he first started helping Harry with his nightmares.

He wished Ron would look away…didn't he? by angelwithasaxophone [Not Rated, 1k]

A story set during Goblet of Fire, after the Third Task while Harry is in the hospital wing. Instead of Mrs Weasley being the one to comfort Harry, it's Ron.

*i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) by hotcuppa [G, 2k]

harry can’t sleep, and ron comforts him the best way he knows how.

i'll keep you safe. by celinalia [G, 1k]

harry is nervous about competing in the triwizard tournament. ron is trying to calm him down (and lowkey just as nervous as harry)

*denotes personal favorite

#harry/ron #ron/harry #rarry #rarry fic rec #ronarry #hp fic rec masterlist #rarry fic rec masterlist #hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort fic rec masterlist #less than 5k words #rarry hurt/comfort fic rec masterlist #itty bitty rarry hurt/comfort fic rec masterlist #itty bitty hurt/comfort fic rec masterlist #itty bitty rarry fic rec masterlist #itty bitty fic rec masterlist

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softestqueeen · 4 months ago

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✧*̥˚ spencer reid fic recs part 3*̥˚✧

a/n: *heavy sigh* another month, another fic rec list! yes, i am insane. also this picture of mgg is literally driving me into oblivion! i need him

✨ favourites

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I my criminal minds masterlist

✧*̥˚ smut *̥˚✧

bad, bad news by @aliteralsemicolon

it will come back by @parfaitblogs

diphenhydramine by @pathologicalreid

with your hands tied by -//-

gypsophilia; honey by @ophelia-is-complex

accidents by @tinystarbites ✨

like the back of my hand by @spencerreidenjoyer

✧*̥˚ fluff *̥˚✧

sweet creature by @cowboy1ikereid

rite of passage by @foxy-eva

more than a woman by @anniebeemine

eyes in the sun by @planetpedri

market day by @cookiescribble

radiant by @reidmoony-toast

longing for you by @proseandpretrichor

all of the books besides your bed by @tlou-reid

sleep by @mindfullycriminal

✧*̥˚ angst/hurt/comfort *̥˚✧

of anything by @reidscanehand

always, i'll wait by @pathologicalreid

deprivation by @reiding-writing ✨

lucky by @reidmarieprentiss ✨

speciality by @imagining-in-the-margins

please let me be enough by @mindfullycriminal

✧*̥˚ honorable mentions *̥˚✧

him (one-shot series) by @godsfavdarling series masterlist I her masterlist

@mindfullycriminal I her masterlist

if you want your work removed, dm me!

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dullwaterlily · 1 month ago

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🌷 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 🌷 ~ fic recs ii

~ the gun ~ 𝐛𝐲 @auroralwriting

spencer reid x reader , hurt/comfort

~ wedding bells ~ 𝐛𝐲 @auroralwriting

spencer reid x reader , pt2 of the gun , fluff

~ litmus test ~ 𝐛𝐲 @pathologicalreid

spencer reid x biochemist!reader ( i love love this au ), flangst

~ in the absence of you ~ 𝐛𝐲 @reidmania

spencer reid x reader , hurt/comfort , angst , read tw!!

~ time gave no compass, were there clues? ~ 𝐛𝐲 @gghostwriter

spencer reid x reader , fluff

~ between silence and sorrow ~ 𝐛𝐲 @springtyme

spencer reid x reader , hurt/comfort

~ it’s romantic ~ 𝐛𝐲 @enderlovez

spencer reid x reader , fluff

~ trouble almost all my life ~ 𝐛𝐲 @januaryembrs

spencer reid x prentiss!reader , series

~ lost and found ~ 𝐛𝐲 @sunshine-on-marz

spencer reid x reader , angst

~ thank you’s ~ 𝐛𝐲 @angellic4l

spencer reid x reader , mainly fluff

~ “unspoken understanding” ~ 𝐛𝐲 @little-jana

spencer reid x deaf!reader , fluff

~ tease ~ 𝐛𝐲 @parfaitblogs

spencer reid x shy!reader , flufff

~ copycat ~ 𝐛𝐲 @reiding-writing

spencer reid x unsub!reader , angst ,

~ copycat pt2 ~ 𝐛𝐲 @reiding-writing

spencer reid x unsub!reader , angst , i ❤️❤️❤️ this

~ kill for you ~ 𝐛𝐲 @reidmania

spencer reid x reader , hurt/comfort

~ last christmas ~ 𝐛𝐲 @anniebeemine

spencer reid x reader , angsty

~ burn notice ~ 𝐛𝐲 @pathologicalreid

spencer reid x reader , angst , i recommend margot’s whole masterlist!!

~ strawberry laces ~ 𝐛𝐲 @as-sweet-as-a

spencer reid x reader , fluff

~ first fall of snow ~ 𝐛𝐲 @3verythingiknowaboutlove

spencer reid x reader , fluff

~ lost connection ~ 𝐛𝐲 @darkmatilda

spencer reid x reader , angst

~ was i stupid to love you? ~ 𝐛𝐲 @incognit0slut

spencer reid x reader , angst

~ la vita è bella ~ 𝐛𝐲 @angellic4l

spencer reid x reader , fluff

~ in omnia paratus ~ 𝐛𝐲 @street-smarts00

spencer reid x reader , hurt/comfort , flangst

~ lovebird ~ 𝐛𝐲 @spencerreidenjoyer

spencer reid x reader , fluff

make sure to support all these wonderful writers !!

💐💐

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bobalegsanji · 3 months ago

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I've got you

Sanji closes his eyes, leaning into the feeling of the warm hands on his face. ‘’Please…’’ he whispers, ‘’I… Please. Promise me you will if I ask.’’

Zosan. Words: 3,976. WCI spoilers!

Trigger Warnings: self-worth issues, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced childhood abuse

One Piece Masterlist

Splat. Splat. Splat.

The dripping of the water got on his nerves.

It’s too loud in the empty storage room. Like a metronome that keeps track of every agonising second he’s sitting there.

Splat. Splat.

It’s too dark to see the source. The pantry is too small for any windows. Sanji could turn on the light, but getting up from his sitting position against the door feels like an impossible task.

He should be bothered by the darkness, or the annoying torture of a sound. He should be figuring out where the water is coming from, or at least let Franky or Usopp know, so they can fix whatever it is, but he has no energy to stand up.

He barely has energy to breathe.

Whatever, it’s not like the ship is going to sink. Every man of the sea knows water won’t trickle into a sailing ship. Water is like a God, all powerful and demanding. A leak in the ship would make itself known, pushing everything out of their way to do the one task Poseidon has laid upon it: to take away oxygen.

Plus, if the ship would really sink right now, Sanji wouldn’t care.

No one would

Sanji shakes his head, mentally begging the intrusive thoughts to please, leave him alone.

The hands in his hair tighten. It doesn’t ground him whatsoever.

When he was a kid, he learned physical harm won’t take away the pain.

His brothers tried to teach him first. They didn’t step down for emotional torture; reminding him he wasn’t loved, humiliating him and threatening to kill him weren’t unusual situations. Ichiji was the worst. He always knew exactly what to say and when to say it.

Yonji and Niji preferred the physical harm. They’re the ones to teach him that physical pain will never be able to overshadow his mental burdens. No matter how much he bled and cried, or locked up and starved, the thoughts were worse.

Sanji hates to think of them. They’re part of who he is and, though he doesn’t want to think about it, who he’ll always be. The melancholy and demons of his past are intertwined in every part of his being.

Every time he feeds his crew, he makes sure to make his own portion a little smaller. He makes sure to wake up a little earlier and go to bed a little later than anyone else. He puts in extra effort to make his crew’s favourite food, drinks and desserts on special days, but never his own. In fights, he’d give up his life for his nakama in the split of a second.

They’re all small reminders of remains of a past that taught him he’s less than others.

He breathes deeply. The anxiety in his bones doesn’t settle.

The mixed signals his body is sending him are making him dizzy. He wants to scratch his arms until he bleeds. He wants to hit his head against the wall until he blacks out. Wants to kick against the door until his legs give in. He wants to scream until his lungs double down, until his body hits the floor, and he gets a couple of seconds of peace.

But that’s now how it works.

His body has no energy to fuel itself to do anything. Sanji wonders where the energy to keep his heart beating is coming from.

Splat .

A small smile plays on his lips.

His life is a fucking joke.

Soft footsteps walk above him.

He opens his eyes slowly.

The darkness is still present. His back hurts from being in a very uncomfortable sitting position for too long. How long has he been asleep?

A knock right above his head makes him shiver.

“Sanji-kun?” Nami’s voice is soft and elegant. It’s beautiful, just like her.

He doesn’t want to respond, but all hell will break loose if they think they’ve lost him somewhere on the big broad sea. If Nami’s searching for him of all people, his nakama is definitely worried.

“Yes, dear?” He responds breathlessly, glad he locked the door before he fell asleep.

As expected, the handle goes down, but the door doesn’t budge. The handle hits the top of his head. Sanji closes his eyes in annoyance, but doesn’t react otherwise. It hurts only a bit, but it feels comforting.

“Are you coming for dinner? Why is the door locked?”

Sanji rolls his eyes. Is it so hard for the crew to leave him alone? He made them dinner. It’s neatly placed on the counter of his beloved kitchen. All they have to do is heat it up, and he’s pretty sure even Luffy could manage to do that.

“Go ahead and eat, my sweet. I’ve had dinner already,” he tells her as convincingly as possible.

His stomach rumbles softly, but luckily not loud enough for her to hear. The thought of food makes his stomach twist and turn. If she keeps pestering him, he might throw up.

“Oh…” She responds. “Well, will you sit with us then? You can sit between Robin and me.”

In normal circumstances, Sanji would jump at the chance. He’d be their footstool during meals if they asked, but not today.

The empty feeling will only get worse if he accepts. Seeing his friends, his nakama, enjoy their day and talk while he feels so disconnected and stuck in the past will only bring more torture. He learned his lesson way back in Arrabasta.

“I’m kind of busy right now,” he says softly. His eyes are clenched closed as he says it, already regretting but having to accept the situation.

The handle gets pushed again, and once more, Sanji feels the cold metal make contact with his head. This time there’s less force behind it. Nami already knows it won’t work, but it doesn’t stop her desperate attempt to try and pry open the door again.

“Sanji, come on,” she says softly. “What’s wrong? Is it because of what happened at Whole Cake? Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head. Even if Nami can’t see it, he has to shake away the images of Judge. A wave of embarrassment flushes over him. He wishes they had never learned of his past.

It should’ve been easy. He had never told anyone his last name, never told them anything about his childhood or his brothers... What a twisted play of fate that she decided to reveal his darkest secrets to his new family.

They know he’s pathetic. They’ve seen his family first hand. They haven’t seen the bruises, or the mental scars that will never leave, but they understand.

He pushes up his sleeves without looking. His hands search his wrists on both sides, where he feels a ragged line. Whose father would put his own son in handcuffs for long enough that he’s scarred? They’re like his own personal handcuffs, keeping him tied to the dark memories of Germa.

A singular tear rolls from his eye. He hopes his voice doesn’t show any emotion.

“I really need to finish this, Nami. Please leave me alone.”

He hears her ragged breath, proof of her hesitation. It pains him to realise; they don’t trust him on his own.

The worst part is, he knows they’re right. He’s in no position to be left alone, but he can’t ask them for help. What would they even help him with? Luffy had promised him the revelations of Whole Cake would change nothing - so they have no reason to suddenly meddle with his self-depreciation issues.

The sound of her footsteps slowly fading away bleeds through the door. Sanji asked for this, basically begging the orange-haired woman to leave him alone, but he can’t help the nails he unconsciously digs into his wrists.

She doesn’t care about you

Mindlessly, he stares at the stock of cheap alcohol in front of him. Technically, it’s Zoro’s, but everyone knows the pantry is Sanji’s territory, so that gives him at least some authority over the superfluous amount of sake, right?

He downs a bottle before he can really think about it. It’s messy, Sanji has never been very good at downing something quickly. Droplets fall down the side of his mouth, on his shirt, his trousers.

He wipes his face clean with his hand before grabbing a second. The wetness feels sticky, and the taste is disgusting, but that doesn’t matter.

The burn in his throat feels nice. It grounds him more than the pain of his cuffs in Whole Cake ever had.

The swaying of the ship feels weird. His centre of balance has shifted from alcohol from pretty good to non-existent. His back’s now against the cupboard with liquor. His eyes keep falling closed involuntarily, but it doesn’t matter. Not like the door is very interesting to look at, anyway.

Sanji could hear Zoro walking through the corridors from a mile away. It’s good they don’t fish during the night, when Zoro is usually awake, or he’d scare every living creature in a thirty-mile radius to death.

He giggles softly at his own joke.

‘’Cook? Everyone went to bed, come out before I open the door myself,’’ Zoro’s voice doesn’t waver, leaving absolutely no space for arguments.

‘’Try me, brute,’’ Sanji laughs, taking another swig of - what was it again?

‘’Are you drinking my fucking sake?’’ Zoro sounds angry.

That was it! Sake.

Sanji plops the empty bottle down on the ground. It makes a hollow sound in the otherwise abandoned part of the ship.

‘’I swear to God, I will cut down this fucking door if you don’t open it right now, Cook,’’ Zoro grits through his teeth.

Sanji doesn’t respond. He closes his eyes to try and focus more on the sounds and vibrations of the ship. How is there so little sound? He can hear the waves crash against the side of the ship in a rhythm. His stomach churns a bit at the constant movement, but it’s something you get accustomed to after a life at sea.

The sound of Wado being taken out of its saya triggers Sanji’s fight or flight response. All his muscles tense as his eyes immediately open, he automatically looks around the room in search of any danger. He’s conditioned to link the sound to a fight.

‘’Wait!’’ He stammered. ‘’Don’t - I’ll, I’ll open it.’’

It takes some stumbling before he’s up and twists the lock open.

Zoro pushes the door open as soon as he hears the click. Not taking Sanji’s current state into account - who needed a couple more seconds to grasp the change of situation - the door gets slammed against Sanji’s shoulder, who immediately loses his balance.

The pathetic sight in front of him makes Zoro sigh. Sanji fell down and is currently pouting up at the swordsman with a mean glare, next to several bottles of empty liquor. He quickly counts them.

‘’Seven? You drank seven bottles of MY sake?’’ Zoro screams angrily, pointing somewhere in the direction of the bottles or Sanji - the pantry isn’t that big.

‘’Try to outdrink me, Mosshead,’’ Sanji says simply, picking up another bottle.

Zoro quickly takes it out of his hand, earning another angry glare from the blond. ‘’You’re an idiot, you know that? I’ve outdrank you more times than I can count, and you’re not supposed to last after five.’’

‘’Oh, haven’t you heard?’’ Sanji laughs, amused. ‘’I’m a superhuman now! I can do whatever the fuck I want, also, fuck you.’’

Zoro closes his eyes in annoyance. He hadn’t heard the full story of Whole Cake yet. No one really seemed eager to talk about it, and Zoro’s never been one to gossip, not taking into account it’s only been days since they’d left Wano.

‘’Does this have to do with that stupid question you asked me in Wano?’’ he asks.

‘’Which one?’’ Sanji asks curiously.

‘’You know-’’ Zoro says awkwardly. They haven’t really talked about it, not really. ‘’About the… The promise.’’

‘’Oh!’’ Sanji suddenly seems to remember. He tries to stand up, but the sea hasn’t been very kind this night- a particularly strong wave makes him crash down onto the floor again.

Zoro gives him a hand to help him up.

‘’About killing me?’’ Sanji asks, tightly holding Zoro’s hand.

They stand still for a couple of seconds, awkwardly staring at each other, until Zoro tugs his hand back. ‘’Yes, that one.’’

Sanji smiles as he steadies himself against the wall with one hand. ‘’Yes and no. Everything has to do with each other, can’t you see?’’ He laughs as he says it, but it’s the most emotionless thing Zoro’s ever heard him say.

Zoro stares at Sanji for a second before realising this isn’t going to help. He promised the crew to get the cook to bed as soon as his watch started - he would’ve picked the blond up three hours ago at dinner time if Nami hadn’t stood on giving Sanji some alone time.

Look what that brought them. Now, drunk Sanji is his problem. He’s going to curse that witch one day.

‘’Come, we’re going outside. It surprises me you haven’t tried to smoke and light the ship on fire in there,’’ Zoro sighs, grabbing Sanji’s hand and dragging him with him to the deck.

The idea of finally smoking makes Sanji sound a relieved moan. Zoro feels a blush creep up all the way to his ears.

‘’Quiet down,’’ he says, annoyed, ‘’if you wake someone up with your whining I’m going to be blamed.’’

The door to the deck gets opened, and Sanji basks in the feel of the cold night air.

‘’So? Don’t want them to think we’re having a little tumble between the sheets, Mossy?’’

Zoro curses loudly. He has half a mind to throw Sanji overboard and act like he has nothing to do with it, but in this state he’s never going to figure out a way to get on dry land again.

Instead, he opts to take a deep breath. ‘’What is your fucking problem today? First you make everyone worry, then you drink and make it my problem, and now you’re coming onto me?’’

‘’I’m not coming onto you,’’ Sanji says absentmindedly, trying to talk and fish a cigarette out of his chest pocket is harder than it looks when you’re swaying from left to right with no centre of gravity, ‘’but I’m too drunk to do anything against it, so this is your chance.’’

Zoro knows the noble thing would be to let the blond have a cigarette, give him a glass of water and toss him into bed, but he can’t. He’s too curious. The cook is always so closed off, prissy and uncomfortable about any personal conversation - this is his chance to get some information out of Sanji.

He’s a man of honour, but this is a unique situation. One where he can make a little exception to learn about the annoying, irritable guy he hasn’t been able to get out of his head for months.

Sanji’s standing against the railing. His legs tremble, it only takes a slight push from Zoro to get him on the ground.

‘’Sit down,’’ he says, already getting seated next to the man. ‘’You’re not - You’re not into men, right?’’

Sanji lets out a lighthearted laughter, but once again, the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. ‘’Only into the pretty ones.’’

Zoro raises his eyes, but Sanji doesn’t react. Zoro’s not even sure if Sanji realises all the shit he’s sprouting right now. ‘’The pretty ones?’’

‘’Mhmm,’’ Sanji mumbles, taking a big drag out of his cigarette. ‘’Like Ace.’’

Zoro’s jaw drops at this information. ‘’You had a thing for Ace?’’

‘’No, my love,’’ Sanji smiles. The nickname hits Zoro right where it hurts. ‘’We had a thing.’’

Zoro can feel the sadness radiate off of the man like a heater.

‘’Truthfully, I’m… I’m happy I wasn’t at Marineford. I don’t think… I would’ve been able to comfort Luffy.’’ He sighs deeply, staring out onto the deck. His voice grows even more soft and fragile, ‘’I wish I was there for Luffy, but… I think I would’ve broke, too, right on that battlefield.’’

Zoro is not sure how to react. He didn’t expect Sanji to have a thing for Luffy’s brother, let alone for said brother to reciprocate those feelings. Were they feelings? A relationship? Or just casual sex?

The question seems rude to ask now that Sanji sounds so sad.

He’s nervous about being turned down, but also desperately wants to comfort the cook in some way. He’s no stranger to grief, and knows the painful feeling that worms its way into your heart like a parasite, only to never let go.

Zoro quietly grabs Sanji’s hand, the one not holding a cigarette, and hopes fiercely he doesn’t get turned down.

Sanji doesn’t. Instead, the blond quietly weaves their fingers together.

‘’What about you?��’ He asks.

‘’Hm?’’ Zoro asks. ‘’What about me?’’

Sanji turns his head to look him in the eye. He looks handsome. The moonlight paints his hair a softer colour than it actually is, and makes his one visible eye light up like… like the all blue Sanji always goes on about.

If only he knew he’s carrying his own dream in the iris of his eye.

Sanji's smile is a mix between misschievous and sad. The perfect explanation for this weird night - kind of sad, but it also gives a thrill to see Sanji like this, so honest and unfiltered.

‘’Are you into pretty men?’’

Zoro nods worthlessly. How could he explain that the most beautiful man he could ever imagine is sitting right in front of him?

Sanji laughs softly. ‘’Thought so.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’ Zoro asks, slightly annoyed. What a way to mess up their conversation.

‘’It’s nothing bad. You just never seem to appreciate the beauty of a lady.’’

Zoro hums softly. ‘’I’ve never really liked women.’’

‘’Not one?’’ Sanji sounds surprised. ‘’Not even Hiyori?’’

Zoro shakes his head. ‘’She was sweet, but I can’t let anyone distract me from my goal.’’

‘’Not even a beautiful man?’’

Zoro smiles softly. ‘’Only if that man has the same goal as me.’’ The moment the words leave his lips, an anxious feeling creeps up on him. Is this too much information? Will Sanji figure out this little, one-sided crush he has?

He cringes, but Sanji just tightens the grip on his hand. ‘’I understand that.’’

The swordsman’s clenched muscles relax, and he sighs relieved. Sanji’s drunk, and how could he forget, kind.

‘’Can I -’’ he starts, scared to bring up the conversation, but it has to happen. Sanji doesn’t seem that drunk anymore, and the possibility of ever bringing up this topic without getting a kick in the face again seems small. He has to know ‘’Can I ask about Wano?’’

‘’The question?’’ Sanji asks.

Zoro hums softly.

It’s quiet between the two. The waves rhythmically crash against the boat. Sanji’s lighter clicks once to light another cigarette.

Zoro sighs deeply, maybe it was wrong to bring it up, but Sanji hasn’t let go of his hand yet.

‘’I wanted to be sure I’d be dealt with properly… if something happened to me,’’ Sanji sighs. ‘’I didn’t want to hurt our crew.’’

‘’You would never hurt our crew. Why would you think that?’’ Zoro is starting to realise that maybe he did miss a big part of Whole Cake.

Sanji’s eyes linger on their hands. Zoro doesn’t comment on it.

The quietness resumes until Sanji finishes his cigarette. He turns the hand they’re holding around, so his palms are up in the air. With the other hand, he slowly moves up his sleeve.

The scars around his wrist look deep. They’re not fully settled yet- but it hurts to imagine what it used to look like. Zoro moves their hands around to get a better look, confirming for himself that the scar is a circle around his complete wrist- but it’s not linear, it’s ragged.

‘’Who did this to you?’’ Zoro is very aware of the protective tone in his voice, but he can’t help it. Whoever dared to touch their cook needs to be dealt with.

Sanji grips Zoro’s hand a little tighter before responding, ‘’my father.’’

Zoro looks up, the fresh tears in the blond’s eye make him nauseous. ‘’What?’’

The small, pathetic smile on Sanji’s lips feels like a kick to the chest.

‘’He’s… not a great man. He cuffed me on Whole Cake. If I went against him, they’d blow up. Remember the collars of the slaves of the world nobles in Sabaody?’’

Zoro nods softly.

‘’It was like that.’’ Sanji’s eyes fall down to his wrists. ‘’He did more to me… To my body... I wanted to be sure that if he did something irreversible, you’d keep the crew safe… From me.’’ The last word is accompanied by a sob.

Zoro immediately lets go of his hand to throw his arms around the cook’s shoulders.

Soft sobs make Sanji’s shoulders shake, but it’s quiet. He barely makes a sound as he breaks in Zoro’s arms.

‘’Don’t cry now, Curls,’’ Zoro whispers in his ears. His hand plays with the blond locks around his neck. ‘’I’ve got you. We’ll make him pay, okay? I promise.’’

Sanji shakes his head, but makes no move to leave the embrace. ‘’I can’t.’’

Zoro tries to pull back to look Sanji in the eyes, but the hold on his body is too strong, so he just lets him.

‘’Why not?’’

‘’He’s my father,’’ Sanji whispers against Zoro’s neck. ‘’I can’t…’’ He takes a couple of deep breaths to steady his voice. Once he’s ready, he doesn’t move away as Zoro expected, he moves closer , nuzzling his nose in Zoro’s neck. ‘’My mother loved him, in some kind of way. I can’t hurt him. For her.’’

Zoro mindlessly plays with Sanji’s hair. ‘’I can do it quickly?’’

Sanji breaks the embrace, slowly pushing the man away from him. ‘’No, you brute,’’ he says with no insulting undertone.

Zoro knows he might cross a boundary with his next move, but he can’t help it.

He cups Sanji’s face with his hands, wiping away the tears that have fallen. He’s not used to the kindness in Sanji’s heart, even to people who don’t deserve it, but what Sanji wants, Sanji gets. ‘’Okay. But we’ve got you, yeah? No one is killing anybody, then.’’

Sanji closes his eyes, leaning into the feeling of the warm hands on his face. ‘’Please…’’ he whispers, ‘’I… Please. Promise me you will if I ask.’’

‘’Your father? I will kill him in a heartbeat if you as much as point in his direction.’’

Sanji shakes his head, not opening his eyes and heavily leaning on Zoro’s hands.

‘’No. I need you to kill me if I ask.’’

‘’Sanji…’’

‘’Just promise me,’’ Sanji opens his eyes, fresh tears are ready to fall and his bottom lip quivers, but he bravely talks without letting his voice quiver, ‘’I need to know you’ve got my back.’’

Zoro plays with Sanji’s hair, moving it out of the way and softly stroking the side that’s not always in front of his face. He knows the cook long enough to know which part of his face he wants to keep covered, even if he has never understood why. He’s so beautiful.

‘’I always got your back,’’ Zoro whispers softly. ‘’But I won’t mindlessly kill you. You’re too important to the crew. And to me.’’

Sanji closes his eyes, leaning into the touch of Zoro’s hand. He sighs so deeply, it almost worries Zoro.

‘’I’m not that impo-’’ he stops himself before finishing. ‘’Will you kill me if I go insane, then?’’

‘’Curly, I know you better than anyone. I’ll catch you before you go insane.’’

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