#hurt us and our boys. wed never want to do that to yours :( the ones that do are always new and/or young armys because they think its ‘cool’

[shibaraki]

❄︎ ─ END OF YEAR REC REPORT: THE READER INSERT EDITION

hi lovelies!! as the year is coming to an end I wanted to work with my followers to compile a rec list of fics that have stuck with us as one massive thank you to all of the writers in our corner of tumblr/AO3. below you will find x reader fics from multiple different fandoms, and everything is in alphabetical order. I am grateful to all of you for the amazing work you do, and to those who participated!

extra note: I read through and tried my best to make sure everything is appropriately tagged (reader type and blushes included) but do let me know if anything needs amending—or if you are on this list and wish to be taken off it. happy reading and happy new year! (and thank you to @namodawrites for helping with the banners ily)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ─ ❄︎

fics: 100 fandoms: 23 total word count: 💀

an observer of longing by shibaraki [ONESHOT] [18K] #: afab reader - childhood best friends to lovers - romantic and sexual tension - mutual pining - casual physical affection - love confession - eventual sexual content

Could Hajime really return your feelings? Tooru certainly thinks so. And Issei, and Takahiro. Seemingly everyone that has been within twenty feet of you.

I wanna be yours by gabseyoo [ONESHOT] [5.9K] #: fem reader - recreational drug use - stoner suna rintaro - friends to lovers - shotgunning - smut - face riding - unprotected sex - sex under the influence

Your usual smoking date with your best friend takes an unexpected turn after a certain song starts playing.

in orbit by neonghxst [MULTI-CHAP] [27K] #: fem reader - slow burn - fluff - angst - enemies to friends to lovers - childhood friends - breaking up/making up

You tend to have a habit of coming and going, life sending you away at odd intervals and guiding you back into his path without warning. Akin to two planets caught in each other’s orbits, you pushed and pulled in a never-ending cycle. But if there was one thing Atsumu was certain of, it was that you would always find your way back to him (and this time, he’s determined to make you stay).

lover be good to me by suguwu [MULTI-CHAP] [30K] #: fem reader - soulmate au - slow burn - hurt/comfort - partner death (not kita shinsuke)

You meet Kita Shinsuke on a rainy summer day, with a sea of hydrangeas swirling at your feet. You know him instantly, as only a soulmate can. He seems like a good man. Like a good soulmate. But it's your wedding day.

miya atsumu and the chronic lovesick disease by fushisagi [ONESHOT] [12.6K] #: gender neutral reader - university au - fluff - friends to lovers - denial of feelings - mutual pining

The question comes to him one autumn night, surrounded by his friends and the chilly november breeze, asked by, who he assumes to be, just another nobody looking for money: what is it that you desire most, boy? the psychic asks, her saccharine smile forgotten when he looks into the crystal ball and all he ends up seeing is you. Alternatively: Miya Atsumu is not in love. what the hell? who would ever suggest something like that?

monster by satendou [SERIES: ONGOING] [13K] #: fem reader - unprotected sex - creampie - vaginal fingering - mentions of bullying - insecurities - described as blushing

You like horror movies, Tendou likes horror movies, what could go wrong?

storm chaser by amjustagirl [MULTI-CHAP] [163K] #: fem reader - post canon - domestic fluff - friends to lovers - romance - marriage - parenthood - angst

Living life with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm.

the burden of being by sashimiyas [ONESHOT] [22K] #: fem reader - angst - fluff - amnesia - pro volleyball player osamu - unhealthy coping mechanisms

There was an Osamu who loved you once. Who loved Onigiri Miya so much he spent most of his waking hours there, supported loyally by the members of Hyogo Ward. A fire changes that and he and his twin brother adopt their old high school motto: we don’t need the memories. Now they’re gone and memories are all you have. So as an homage to the man you love, you reopen his restaurant back up for him.

the inbetween by oh-katsuki [ONESHOT] [25K] #: fem reader - manga spoilers - childhood friends to lovers - slow burn - angst - sexual content

You and Tendou have been best friends since before you can remember. You share everything with each other and over the years have fallen into a friendship with clear boundaries but intimate values. When you start to notice Tendou growing more distant, you begin to worry that he’s keeping more secrets than you thought. 

there are reasons why a body stays in motion by gardenofnoah [ONESHOT] [4.7K] #: afab reader - strangers to lovers - fluff - eventual sexual content

You work too hard—kita knows it the second he meets you. He’s not expecting you to take him up on his offer. You don’t either, until you end up on his farm.

the blood of the witch is not ours by demxnscous [ONESHOT] [11K] #: afab reader - vampire miya osamu - strangers to friends to lovers - modern setting with a hidden supernatural world - blood and injury - eventual sexual content

The door opens. Osamu whines pitifully, a shallow breath that scarcely pulls at the lacerations along his body, blood of his own and of another creature matts his fur to his ribs, along his spine, and he lifts his head. “Oh, fuck.” From the threshold, your eyes widen, a stranger to the fox you find.

to: tokyo, love hyogo by akimind [ONESHOT] [15K] #: fem reader - described as blushing - reunions - angst - fluff - exes to lovers

Your mind wasn’t tricking you when it caught sight of this name from across the street you rarely frequent; it remains the same name even as you stand directly below now and reread that sign again. Onigiri Miya. …I’ll meet you in Hyogo. The same echo. The same memory.

roommate osamu kiss by shibaraki [DRABBLE] [0.6K] #: gender neutral reader - pre relationship - fluff - roommate miya osamu - sleepy kiss

Osamu likes to think that unlike Atsumu, he has some semblance of control over his impulses. it’s a fine art. When you softly touch his waist as you squeeze past, or dig your feet under his thigh on the couch, or lean into his side as you share the small bathroom, he can will his body still and maintain the equilibrium you’ve crafted together. But this morning he is frayed at the seams.

venus by saetyrn [ONESHOT] [15K] #: cisfem reader - mutual pining - alcohol consumption - friends to lovers - eventual sexual content - reader is inexperienced

After returning to Japan from studying abroad in California, Hajime’s found that his desire for you has only grown stronger in his year away. He hopes you feel the same, and see him as he sees you. What he doesn’t expect is for it all to go tits up when you ask him--your trusted friend--for help with losing your virginity.

wet haired kuroo by mrs-kurooo [DRABBLE] [0.8K] #: gender neutral reader - pre relationship - romantic tension

His hair lies flat, unlike the usual unruly, gravity-defying mess of black that sits on his head. It’s still a little damp, slowly drying in the warmth of your apartment, a lone droplet of water dripping from the ends and landing on his towel. It hangs in his eyes a little, more so than usual and the urge to run your fingers through it overwhelms you - it just looks so soft.

a duke's son and a baron's daughter by katsukikitten [ONESHOT] [14K] #: fem reader - victorian era au - arranged marriage - pining - slow burn - suggestive content - lord bakugo katsuki - lord todoroki shouto

The room ebbs in the low light of flickering candles, people gather in clusters like lost geese as they honk their gossip at one another causing you to sigh. It would be another long night of mental games as your cold eyes fail to warm from the eccentric sights. Silk dresses, long gloves, shimmering gems, and endless drink and food.  Yet you hated how little power you had over your choice of being here or not. 

a light that never comes by mighty-mighty-man [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [430K] #: fem reader - enemies to friends to lovers - reader is an ex villain - worldbuilding - polotics - drama - eventual romance

After your life is saved by a quirkless middle-schooler, you find yourself roped back into the world of Heroism you've spent years trying to escape. Your mentor convinces you to take a job at U.A. that will bring you perilously close to your former best friend, Toshinori Yagi, who you have been avoiding since you mysteriously dropped out of high school in your third year. Being a Hero never gets any easier. And high school never ends.

all the times i told you by gardenofnoah [SERIES] [8K+] #: afab reader - estbalished relationship - fluff - intimacy - hurt/comfort - eventual sexual content

A sweet little multi-parter about being so in love it makes you sick, featuring Katsuki.

a withered rose by potionpeddlerpatchy [ONESHOT] [18K] #: fem reader - mythical au - reader is a nymph - god of sleep shinsou hitoshi - sexual content - dubious consent - somnophilia - manipulation

In the center of all the strange but wonderful opulence sat a giant glass orb propped so beautifully atop of a pillar, woven so intricately like vines, of tourmaline. You couldn’t help but approach it, the alluring purple aura seemed to call out to you, reaching your delicate hand before you, nothing else crossed your mind that your desire to touch the orb's smooth surface. “You’re a bold little one, aren’t you?” Hitoshi spoke, chuckling deeply as he took in your startled form. 

a world away by invie [MULTI-CHAP] [26K] #: fem reader - slow burn - timeskips - pro hero bakugo katsuki - parallel universes - dimension travel - feelings realisation - first meetings - fluff - angst - love confessions

He met you at 16 and hasn't known peace since then.

casual by ghostbeam [ONESHOT] [4K] #: fem reader - no quirk au - friends with benefits - friends to lovers - sexual content - todoroki family feels

“My mom wants to meet you.” It’s a sentence uttered as Touya pulls the T-shirt he’d discarded earlier (while he was pushing you toward your bed and sucking your tongue into his mouth) over his head. It comes as a shock, lying in your bed completely bare, still struggling to catch your breath. It shouldn’t make you feel excited in the way that it does, not when Touya has been more than clear about the nature of the relationship between the two of you. Nothing serious. No commitment.

cruise universe by bfbkg [SERIES] #: fem reader - cruise au - pro hero bakugo - developing relationship - strangers to lovers - fluff - alcohol consumption - eventual sexual content

Your cruise holiday with your friends has got some pretty views, your favourite being the grumpy pretty blonde.

deceiving the duke by andypantsx3 [MULTI-CHAP] [30K] #: fem reader - regency au - class differences - romance - identity porn - eventual sexual content

When Camie Utsushimi elopes on the eve of her society debut, scandal threatens to destroy the family’s prospects. It’s up to you, a maid, to impersonate Camie throughout the Season, long enough that her elder sister can make a match. The only trouble? Lord Shouto Todoroki is also intent on making a match—and that match, quite impossibly, appears to involve you.

fill my little world by shibaraki [ONESHOT] [20K] #: afab reader - no quirk au - single dad aizawa shouta - nanny reader - falling in love - eventual sexual content

You are employed by Aizawa Shouta to nanny for his vulnerable adoptive daughter Eri while he’s at work. As time passes you find yourself equally smitten with them both, longing for a more permanent place in their family.

heart of the ocean by secondhand_trash [TWOSHOT] [13K] #: fem reader - pirate au - inspired by princess bride - romance - pirate todoroki touya - angst with a happy ending - sexual content

You had met many sailors in your life growing up by the sea, but there was only one like him.

higher than the mountain, deeper than the sea by itoshisoup [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [50K+] #: fem reader - psychological drama - childhood friends to lovers - stockholm syndrome - hurt/comfort - noncon elements

Touya watches you stare feebly out the window, your fingers curled around those useless flowers he bought, and he finally understands why his pathetic excuse of a father could never find the words to apologize to his mother.

I'll make this feel like home by missmeinyourbones [ONESHOT] [6K] #: afab reader - angst - canon compliant - hurt/comfort - dabi centric - todoroki family reveal - sexual content

Touya was eight years old when his youngest brother was born—the same age realized that his house no longer felt like home. 

incendiary by andypantsx3 [MULTI-CHAP] [30K] #: fem reader - enemies to lovers - quirkless discrimination - reader is a college student - romance- eventual sexual content

When you accidentally go viral in defense of quirkless people, an extremist group puts a target on your back. Pro hero Dynamight is the last person you want watching it.

in the dark of morning, you promise me the sun by kirketeer [MULTI-CHAP] [78K] #: fem reader - major character death - slow burn - grief and mourning - angst with a happy ending - eventual sexual content

When Denki, your long-term boyfriend, is stabbed by a villain on his way home from work, left to bleed out on the sidewalk only a mile from your apartment, you find yourself adrift. Strangely enough, it's Bakugou that helps with what comes after.

kingdom of ashes by shibaraki [TWOSHOT] [11K] #: fem reader - historical royalty au - prince todoroki touya - arranged marriage - sexual content - fluff - angst - hopeful ending

When you are suddenly uprooted from your life to enter an arranged marriage with Prince Touya you are unprepared for how greatly he defies your expectations, nor for how quickly you fall for him.

lights will guide you home by a11eya [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [22K] #: gender neutral reader - soulmate au - trope inversion/subversion - slow burn - getting together - falling in love - eventual sexual content

Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates. At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways. You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children. (In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)

one for the rules by alkhale [ONESHOT] [9K] #: fem reader - actor au - soulmates and identifying marks - romance - actor kita shinsuke - implied sexual content - reader described with long hair

“(Y/n)-san,” Kita whispers, low, just for you. Your eyes flicker nervously up to meet his, heart beating so wildly in your chest you feel like you’ll explode. Any minute now. There’ll be nothing left for him but little bits of nonsense. “I know I have no right to stop you… but please, if you’d be willing to wait, just a bit…” Kita pulls both your hands together now, away from both your shared marks. He holds them in both of his and he gazes at you the entire time, a man truly from another era, from a lost era of things so hopeless romantic and earnest you feel like there’s nothing you can do in the very face of it. Kita brings your hands up and he presses a kiss to your knuckles, peering up at you, eyes like honey, voice soft and warm and everywhere around you. “Would you give me the chance to show you my worth?” Kita asks. Ah, that’s it. Your heart really can’t take anymore.

passing peonies by dira333 [MULTI-CHAP] [34K] #: fem reader - recovery - mental health issues - returning to society - healing todoroki family - reader described to have a ponytail - angst

When the war ended, Midoriya Izuku had proven one thing: That Villains did not need to be killed to be defeated. That you could make friends from enemies. Touya Todoroki, formerly known as Dabi, had been one of those taken into the rehabilitation program. After one year of intense physical and psychological therapy, he's got the chance to prove himself. To prove that he can be a part of this world.

something just like this by ofmermaidstories [MULTI-CHAP] [200K] #: fem reader - strangers to lovers - pro hero deku - manga artist reader - eventual sexual content

It probably says a lot about you that your first thought on meeting Deku, international Symbol of Peace, isn't something like "Oh, wow," or, "Oh he's so nice," but is, instead, the un-Plus Ultra thought of, "I definitely would’ve bullied him, in high school." At least until those muscles came in.

the cardinal rule by coopigeoncoo [ONESHOT] [9K] #: gender neutral reader - romantic comedy - bird puns - blood and injury

A story where Hawks learns that while humans might be awed by his flying skills, the bird population is decidedly less impressed.

the widening sky by ofmermaidstories [MULTI-CHAP] [37K] #: fem reader - merpeople au - merman bakugo katsuki - canon typical violence - grief and mourning - eventual sexual content - bittersweet ending

You don’t believe your Grandmother’s stories about mermaids — until you meet one.

triptych by narumi-gens [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [20K] #: fem reader - yandere chisaki kai - psychological abuse - angst - codependency - imprisonment - canon typical violence - sexual content

Your life is nothing more than a triptych, a work of art in three parts with each panel depicting a distinct period — a beginning, a middle, an end. And in the triptych that is your life, the central figure has always been Chisaki Kai.

when to cradle, when to pry by therealvalkyrie [ONESHOT] [1.3K] #: fem reader - established relationship - depresson and panic attacks - reader has low self esteem - hurt/comfort

As he re-learns the joys of loving you, Katsuki also learns how to help you back on your own feet when you need it. OR An "in the aftermath" look at the relationship in 'you feel love in the sodium'

11:49pm by shotorus [DRABBLE] [0.4K] #: gender neutral reader - fluff and intimacy

Gojo is larger than life, but you make him feel small.

all that is solid by grilledtandoorismoke [SERIES] [38K] #: fem reader - arranged marriage - curse user reader - described as blushing - hurt/comfort - domestic fluff - angst - canon typical violence

Coming from a family of curse users and the first person in three hundred years to have your clan's inherited technique, political machinations force you to attend Jujutsu Tech while having to agree to an arranged marriage to Gojo Satoru.

am I (25F) the asshole for fucking my boyfriend's older brother (28M) by rinhaler [ONESHOT] [10K] #: fem reader - sexual content - dom/sub dynamics - older brother ryomen sukuna - sex under the influence - cheating - daddy kink

I know it sounds bad but we got high and he's hot!!

blood and pearls by vennilavee [SERIES: ONGOING] [10K] #: fem reader - trueform sukuna - developing relationship - canon typical violence - cannibalism - eventual sexual content

A lonely water nymph washes up to the shores of an enchanted lake with dreams of the sun and the stars. Little do you know, that this enchanted lake belongs to the king of curses himself, Ryomen Sukuna.

candied hearts by mrs-kurooo [ONESHOT] [10k] #: fem reader - no curse au - hurt/comfort - fluff - third party infidelity - sexual content - body worship - size difference - pull out method

Gojo is a nuisance. What more is there to say.

cor unum by vampyrsm [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [130K] #: fem reader - trueform sukuna - slow burn - period typical sexism - body horror - cannibalism - blood and violence - eventual sexual content

A tale of how the Shogun's daughter ends up in the maw of one of the most fierce curse users to ever exist.

godmaker by firein-thesky [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [50K] #: fem reader - arranged marriage - angst - unhealthy relationships - parental abuse - canon typical violence - hurt/comfort - slow burn - eventual sexual content

And the form leans down, closer, as their voice drops to a murmur, all honey and thorns, the promise of something far greater than you. A storm to come. The future that you will bear upon the slant of your shoulders. And when they speak, you know they’ve cursed you; “I will teach you how to make a God.”

hey lonely stranger (won't you meet my eye?) by stellamancer [ONESHOT] [6.4K] #: fem reader - speed dating - unresolved romantic tension - jealous gojo satoru - allusions to canon typical violence

You attend a match-making event and who else should be there but the last person you want to see: Satoru Gojo.

how to be a dog by prettyboykatsuki [TWOSHOT] [37K] #: fem reader - yandere gojo satoru - manipulation and coercion - stalking - graphic depictions of violence - rape/non-con - forced intimacy - sexual content

"Of course you must learn to love, to love always and love entirely and to be wounded by nothing so much as the violence of your own love." - ANDREW KANE, HOW TO BE A DOG. With six eyes to see, it becomes clear. You are being watched.

intrinsic warmth by thatdesklamp [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [150K] #: fem reader - slow burn - childhood friends - mutual pining - angst - canon typical violence

You meet Satoru on 7th September, 1996. Some time later, you realise you love him.

let your hand become a blade so i may take it by seravphs [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [10K] #: princess reader - knight gojo satoru - royal au - forbidden love - period typical misogyny - childhood friends to enemies to lovers

Knights are bound by duty and honor, but Gojo is more devoted to his princess than he ever was to his oaths.

limerence by shibaraki [ONESHOT] [4K] #: gender neutral reader - friends to lovers - pining - masturbation - sexual tension

The little intimacies you shared together were a fix of Gojo's.

lucky by izvmimi [ONESHOT] [3.5K] #: fem reader - crack - plot heavy with a little porn - todo aoi's otaku behaviour

You meet someone desperate to win a competition.

men are so quick to blame the gods by awearywritersworld [SERIES] [16K+] #: fem reader - enemies to lovers - developing relationship - angst - fluff - canon typical violence - not canon compliant - jealousy

Your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper, leaving you to form an unlikely relationship with the curse occupying his body during the late hours of the night.

playing pretend by itadorey [ONESHOT] [5.4K] #: gender neutral reader - fake dating - friends to lovers - slice of life and humour

Gojo lies to Shoko in order to win a bet and you're dragged along for the ride.

🔒 polluted by heich0e [ONESHOT] [11K] #: fem reader - university au - sexual content - recreational drug use - sex under the influence - gangbang - double penetration - dubcon

"Weed doesn't make her annoying," Sukuna drawls, tossing the basketball up again, only this time away from him—you watch as it curves gracefully in the air, swishing through the little net Geto and Gojo have affixed to the back of their dorm room door. "She's always annoying." [...] Sukuna's smirk turns into something even sharper, a smile unfurling slow and wicked across his face. "Weed doesn't make her annoying--it makes her into a whore."

seat taker by coconutdays [ONESHOT] [10K] #: fem reader - university au - biker geto suguru - sexual tension - fluff - strangers to lovers - eventual sexual content

You have a crush on the smartest and sexiest guy in your lit class who happens to ride a motorcycle with spooky season around the corner. what ever might happen?

still melting? by arminsumi [ONESHOT] [1.4K] #: fem reader - best friend geto suguru - romantic and sexual tension - flirting

Practicing putting eyeliner on your best friend, while sat in his lap. He can't help but take this chance to flirt with you. Of course, a certain someone interrupts your moment right at the end

sunset by princess-okkotsu [ONESHOT] [5.6K] #: princess reader - knight zen'in maki - reader implied shorter than maki - royal au - period typical attitudes - sexual content

You’re a princess, though the last of several siblings, set to never wear the crown of your kingdom. The last to marry, you're suddenly betrothed after your father waged your hand in marriage in some game of bow and arrow. Though you and your knight, Maki, have been content with bottling up your affections for one another, this sudden betrothal has you both wishing for something you know you can't have.

they were just friends by wanderwithme [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [65K] #: fem reader - fireman fushiguro toji - slow burn - roommates - character death - eventual romance - described as blushing

It’s 4:24 p.m. and the love of your life is cheating on you.

turn me like a beast / hold you to the floor by gardenofnoah [ONESHOT] [6.5K] #: princess reader - strangers to unfortunate lovers - hunter nanami kento - the fall of a dynasty - major character death - reincarnation - bittersweet ending

The world is at its end, and an unlikely pair finds solace in each other. To love is an animal thing.

wormwood by linkcities [ONESHOT] [25K] #: fem reader - angst with a happy ending - canon compliant - childhood friends to lovers - mutual pining - codependency - new beginnings

Absence festers in the presence of little yellow wormwood flowers, and you come to learn about how it goes hand in hand with lingering bitterness when you meet Gojo Satoru. or, As the young God’s only friend, you are punctured with the burden of his companionship, regardless if you deem yourself unworthy of it.

风月 | wind, moon by itoshisoup [ONESHOT] [7.5K] #: gender neutral reader - established relationship - fluff - romance

In which you drag Dan Heng halfway across the universe for a candied fruit skewer, and he gets a taste of the life that was once denied to him.

christmas countdown by suguwu [ONESHOT] [16K] #: gender neutral reader - hallmark au - holiday fluff - age gap - romance

Your company is taking on a new project and desperately wants the backing and expertise of retired CEO Jing Yuan. Dispatched out into the countryside to bring him on board, you find it won't be as easy as you think. Jing Yuan strikes a bargain with you: spend the upcoming days with him, until Christmas Eve, and he'll tell you exactly what it will take for him to come back if you don't figure it out yourself. Let the Christmas countdown begin.

nexus by ddarker-dreams [MULTI-CHAP] [51K] #: fem reader - yandere blade - codependency - eventual sexual content - dark comedy - space politics

You belong to a specialized group — the Arbiters — who are capable of influencing others' perceptions. Your clients hail from all corners of the universe to see their wildest fantasies come true. By establishing a link with them, they can experience a dreamscape of their choosing, more convincing than the latest developments in augmented reality. You have received many unique requests throughout the years. After the Stellaron Hunter's swordsman saves you from an early demise, you offer him the chance to experience any phantasia of his choosing. It is then that you're posed with a trying challenge: "Show me what it's like to die."

scrap metal by lorelune [TWOSHOT] [5K] #: gender neutral reader - captive reader - injury - use of a muzzle - non consensual touching - yandere blade - force feeding

Per Elio's newest script, the Stellaron Hunters take in a stray.

love like no other by nanamimizz [ONESHOT] [2.6K] #: fem reader - sexual content - established relationship - open communication

Al Haitham is man solemnly thought he would never find love, so when he has that and more the night turns...physical.

you didn't teach me how to forget you by haitaniapologist [TWOSHOT] [15K] #: ragnvindr fem reader - described as blushing - fluff - lovesick childe - possessiveness

You never thought you would find the boy who haunted your childhood in a trip to Liyue.

arranged marriages and well-kept secrets by dearayato [ONESHOT] [1.7K] #: gender neutral reader - established relationship - talk of marriage - proposals

Ayato props himself on his elbows, a smug smile adorning his face, “Don’t worry love, the only person I see in my future is you.”

for you are the world by lorelune [MULTI-CHAP] [29K] #: fem reader - childhood friends to lovers - post trauma - fluff - hurt/comfort - chronic injuries - sexual content - protective diluc

You return to Mondstadt after many years away, sick, with an feeling that's all-too familiar and unwelcome.

bury me by deskaisers [ONESHOT] [8.8K] #: fem reader - described as blushing - stepcest - step brother oliver aiku - virginity - corruption kink - unprotected sex

Your father's new relationship was rather unexpected, but there was no way in hell you could have predicted everything else that came with it.

everything's better when you're honest by prettyboykatsuki [ONESHOT] [11K] #: fem reader - friends to lovers - professional athlete isagi yoichi - reader is sexually experienced - sexual content

you notice early on that isagi is always holding back something. the deeper into your relationship you go, the more you wish he'd let loose.

to my first love by by-moonflower [TWOSHOT][17.3K] #: fem reader - high school au to married au - non-linear narrative - exploring girlhood - fluff - angst - romance - suggestive - described as blushing

When you agreed to date itoshi sae in mid-October of 1993, you never imagined he'd be your first love—whose presence would continue to linger in your life, hauntingly, even if a year, two, or ten came to pass.

finding peace in the spontaneous wild (that is you) by tired-biscuit [ONESHOT] [26K] #: fem reader - university au - modern supernatural elements - friends to lovers - werewolf kiba - mutual pining - eventual sexual content

You run into Kiba at the grocery store, around two weeks after returning home from college.

🔒 tacenda by namodawrites [MULTI-CHAP] [100K] #: gender neutral reader - mutual pining - slow burn - childhood friends to lovers - canon typical violence - rivalry

Somewhere along the way trying to prove Neji wrong about fate and destiny, you fall in love.

den of wolves by kuramakakashi [MULTICHAP] [37K] #: senju reader - descriptions of gore - uchiha centric - canon typical violence - worldbuilding

Peace in our time – it was the dream your cousin had championed since childhood, and it was the foundation for all of his efforts to bring the constant warring between clans to a permanent end.  And it was why he sent you into the den of wolves with only one order: Save Izuna Uchiha.  

🔒 birds of a feather by namodawrites [ONESHOT] [18K] #: gender neutral reader - touchstarved - possessive behaviour - comfort/angst - canon typical violence

Knives rediscovers his humanity while recovering. You fight hard not to lose yours.

bittersweet by heich0e [ONESHOT [6K] #: afab reader - domestic fluff - sharing a bed - gentle sex - sweet soggy vash

Something shuffles in the dark. Papa left you a gun, too. Even taught you how to shoot it. Mama hated that. She hated how good you were at it even more. She used to say that shooting was gonna be your husband’s job someday, and that even in a world this wicked Papa was teaching you things you didn’t need to know. But now Mama’s gone. And Papa’s gone. And the world is still wicked. And you’ve got no husband, but you have a gun you know how to shoot.

and I know it’s hard enough to love me (but I woke up in a safe house) by seoafin [ONESHOT] [4K] #: fem reader - sharing a bed - tending to wounds - fluff - blood and injury

“My husband and I would like a room. We’re on our honeymoon”. “In this shithole of a town?” The innkeeper asks with a raised eyebrow, looking from you to Vash, who only lets out a sheepish chuckle as he scratches the back of his head. Despite his sluggish breaths, his slow blinking gaze, and the red slowly staining his shirt.

solar lunacy by bamsara [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [225K] #: gender neutral reader - slow burn - fluff and angst - developing relationships - blood and injury - posessive behaviour

You weren’t a technician, you weren’t a security guard, you weren’t a daycare assistant. You’re just an employee. Staff. The ‘jack-of-all-trades’ employee with mediocre at best skills and specialty in none, tasked with doing miscellaneous jobs that robots couldn’t do and human staff couldn’t care to. The job is unpredictable, but it pays good and it’s relatively easy. Except for the part where all the animatronics are more sentient than you thought, and you’re roped into a mystery surrounding the Daycare Attendants, who are bit too curious about you for your liking. You don’t think this was in your employee contact.

cryptid sightings by naffeclipse [MULTICHAP] [250K] #: gender neutral reader - cryptid au - reader is a cryptid hunter - horror - blood and violence - sleep terrors - non-sexual intimacy - posessive behaviour

Perhaps this would scare a person, being all alone in the woods in the dark, but not you. You’re too intertwined with the paranormal and inexplicable. It’s in your blood. That doesn’t mean your heart won’t pound with terror when you face something with fangs and hungry eyes for flesh, but you don’t run away, and that’s what matters most. You will face the monsters.

celestial sundown by pillowspace [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [80K] #: gender neutral reader - god au - historical fantasy - slow burn - blood and injury - developing relationships - dimension travel

You are a peasant living in the middle of the woods, Sun is the god of day you brought back home with you, and Moon is the god of night tucked away in the Celestial Realm.

method acting by seeingivy [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [168K] #: fem reader - celebrity au - actor eren jaeger - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - miscommunication - eventual fluff - social media elements

Method acting is a very powerful skill. Using your own personal, physical, and emotional self and pouring it into the character on the screen makes for a powerful performance. Except when it's you and Eren - you're not sure where the acting starts, and real life begins.

public relations by crybaby-ink [ONESHOT] [12K] #: afab reader - office romance - boss/employee relationship - power dynamics - drama - politics - sexual content

Even though Zeke has had a little crush on you for a while now, he’s mostly okay with things in the office staying exactly the way they are. Mostly.

vestal virgin by bokutosdove [ONESHOT] [6K] #: fem reader - modern au - sexual content - loss of virginity - jean kirstein has a corruption kink - protected sex - implied dom/sub dynamic

A virgin consecrated and vowed to chastity; a chaste woman.

wild card by wellitcouldbeworse3 [MULTI-CHAP] [215K] #: fem reader - hunger games au - tribute levi ackerman - blood and violence - slow burn - psychological torture - character death - reader is proficient at archery - described as blushing

When you're selected to be the tribute representing District 12 in the 121st annual Hunger Games, you're pretty sure you're screwed. But, somehow, there's two things working in your favor. One: you're not half bad with a bow and arrow. Two: the male tribute from District 2 seems to have his eye on you...

❄︎ DEMON SLAYER

something blue by extrav1rgin [ONESHOT] [11K] #: fem reader - described as blushing - arranged marriage - angst with a happy ending - hurt/comfort - not canon compliant

Turning away you trace your way back through the route Giyuu had taken you down before. As you walk nearly silently you keep your ears out for the sound of another human. You find a note stuck to the door when you make your way toward it. If it was there before you must’ve missed it. ‘Gone on a mission, will be back.’ And you suppose that’s that.

❄︎ HELL'S PARADISE

safe for one more night with you by nagumoan [ONESHOT] [3.3K] #: fem reader - established relationship - domestic fluff - humour - sexual content

You get to share one last night with your husband Shion before his work will steal him from the warmth of your embrace with the first rays of the sun in the morning.

❄︎ BUNGO STRAY DOGS

pharos by auraxins [ONESHOT] [14K] #: afab reader - mer au - eldritch mer chuuya - strangers to lovers - island survival - blood and injury - eventual sexual content - unprotected sex

“Who are you?” you call. “What business have you here?” “You don't know?” barks the man, incredulousness in his tone. “You summoned me here.” “I fixed the lighthouse,” you correct. “I did not summon anything.”

❄︎ TOKYO REVENGERS

from his mind to hers by embossross [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [102K] #: fem reader - dark content - patient x doctor relationship - sexual content - stalking - cheating

Forced into therapy, Hanma expects to waste his time and yours, but you’re not about to let the chance of a high-profile and higher paying patient slip through your grasp. The fact that you’re both attracted to each other doesn’t hurt either.

❄︎ ONE PIECE

breathe me in by standfucker [ONESHOT] [7.4K] #: fem reader - inappropriate use of devil fruit powers - described as blushing - rough unprotected sex - creampie and breeding

As a woman in the Marines, the path to Read Admiral has been rough, but Smoker's been there for you since the beginning.

❄︎ BALDUR'S GATE

through the gates of horn and oak by sensoo [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [116K] #: fem reader - graphic depictions of violence - sexual content - fluff - F/M/M threesomes - spoilers marked by chapter

Each of them needs something different, but under the surface it's really the same thing. The burden of leadership is isolating and it is so difficult to carry on alone. Zevlor is trying to navigate through the shattered pieces of his life. Halsin is haunted by regrets and the tasks left unfinished. And you can't stop meddling in everyone else's affairs, even as you swear up and down that you're just trying to survive. Living is more than survival, but both are getting increasingly more difficult.

the five senses by nanamimizz [SERIES] [9K] #: fem cleric reader - non-sexual intimacy - angst - hurt/comfort - developing relationship - exploring trauma

A five part mini-series with everyone's favorite high elf vampire focusing on non-sexual intimacy and the budding relationship you foster with the guarded rouge.

❄︎ TWISTED WONDERLAND

uniform by giratinazero [ONESHOT] [2.4K] #: fem reader - non-sexual intimacy - undressing

With one gloved hand he reached up, threading his delicate fingers through a loop in the heart-shaped collar to drag you down to his height. Riddle slowly, purposely ran his eyes up and down the length of your body— you could feel the frustration that simmered just under the surface, like a teapot left on the heat and about to burst with steam.

❄︎ MORTAL KOMBAT

inescapable by dynamites [ONESHOT] [7K] #: gender neutral reader - light angst - crossing timelines - pining

From half across the somber battlefield, someone keeps glancing your way.

❄︎ BLEACH

cherry coloured funk by grinmjows [ONESHOT] [8.7K] #: fem reader - described to have dark hair and pale skin - explicit incest - sexual content

You usually find the moonlit nights strangely empty, for when you call your brother's name through them, he never answers.

desperate measures by ghost-party [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [27K] #: fem reader - modern au - transactional relationship - sugar daddy - age difference - dom/sub dynamic - sexual content - violence

After you’ve been laid off from your job, your friend Rangiku recommends a very specific kind of dating app — one where rich, lonely men seek younger partners to spoil. Reluctantly, you decide to give it a try. You tell yourself it’s a one-time thing, and that you have no plans on becoming dependent on anyone, let alone falling for them. But Sosuke Aizen makes you rethink everything…

❄︎ IDOLISH 7

in the eyes of the tide by namodawrites [ONESHOT] [15K] #: gender neutral reader - merman au - secret identity - angst - hurt/comfort

Oogami Banri is a calm, unassuming man. His first and second impressions of you had been undignified to say the least: encountering you passed out on a bench outside of a little shop, sheltered beneath its slanted tiled awning; assisting you to escape a cave during high tide, too afraid of the strange shapes you’d seen in the water to make the short journey alone.

❄︎ GOD OF WAR

and touched with the wonder of mortal beauty, her face by vampireloverz [ONESHOT] [8.8K] #: fem reader - pre-canon - size difference - sexual content - unprotected sex - canon-typical violence - described with body hair - reader is lifted by character

You hum to yourself, curious about what business he has in the woods, maybe it has something to do with whatever mysterious thing he has wrapped in foreign fabric. Through the days, you find yourself thinking of him. This warrior, this man, so elusive he feels almost like a ghost. You find yourself earnestly looking forward to the next time you come across each other.

❄︎ DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS

kinktober: monsterfucking by mintmatcha [TWOSHOT][5K] #: cisfem reader - original character romance - racism in a fantasy setting - sexual content - monsterfucking

After months of adventuring with your party, you can't help but be curious about a certain dragonborne...

❄︎ THE HUNGER GAMES

the death of an actor by uzurimisery [MULTI-CHAP: ONGOING] [36K] #: fem reader - fake dating - misogyny - reader is dr. gaul's daughter - sexual content - unhealthy dynamics

Y/N Gaul the Capitol's unregulated daughter of Dr. Gaul. Argumentative, independent, and hindrance to Coriolanus Snow's life plans.He can't stand you, you’re impossible for him to read. When your mother concocts a hairbrained plan to better set up her protege you’re caught in the crossfire and forced to play the part of Snow’s lover. Now if only the lines of what's an act and what was real wouldn’t get so blurry.

❄︎ DC UNIVERSE

callipygian by onesmartcookie78, pennydragons [MULTI-CHAP: ONGONG] [70K] #: original female character - described as blushing - canon typical violence - enemies to friends to lovers - secret identity - batfamily drama

"She knows that ass. In fact, she'd spent the whole day staring at pictures of it. So she is absolutely, 100% certain that ass belongs to Dick Grayson. Now, if Dick Grayson wants to run across the rooftops dressed in spandex, that's his prerogative. The problem is, he's not just Dick Grayson. No. Dick Grayson is Nightwing. And she has questions." She hadn't been trying to figure out who he was. In fact, she was trying to uncover the identity of the Red Hood. But now that she knows, she can't go back.

let me just add there are an infinite amount of other amazing fics that will not have made this rec list purely due to the time constraints, submission limit and lack of reach, etc. your fic is valuable and loved whether it made the cut or not—please do remember that!!!!!!

[laurorne]

༊*·˚ CRAVING YOUR WARMTH | aegon ii targaryen x targaryen bastard sister!reader

summary: two dragons who seek to move closer for warmth during their grief must remain apart, as they can only hurt one another with their sharp teeth and barely contained flames. though they both share the intentions of a close relationship, they're unable, for reasons they cannot avoid.

content: targaryen incest, angst, allusion of self-mutilation/harm, bastardphobia in westeros, night after intimacy suggested, self-hatred, blood, wonky metaphors and personification, no beta we die like vizzy t, badly written angst, that damn necklace

word count: 1.5k

a/n: let me tell you that i struggle writing angst, but god do i love reading it. i'm like my own self entertaining paradoxical concept and it astounds me

A gentle hand smoothing over his back is what stirs him from the throes of sleep, nails skating along his marked skin softly enough to tickle. He shifts as the hand moves from the expanse of his back up to his hair, rubbing circles into the crown of his head. Twirling bits of hair between deft fingers as she presses a kiss to the slope of his shoulder.

He hums, limbs stretching out clumsily as he rolls onto his side, fingers weak as his hand dances along the goose-down duvet until it reaches her. Her, and her softness, and her warmth.

“Wife.” He’s barely awake, even with the exasperated sigh that comes from his older sister.

“We are not wed, Aegon.” A gentle reminder from soft lips, her eyes taking in his tired demeanour, the curve of his brow.

She brushes the strand of choppy hair from his face, thumb dragging along the apple of his cheek.

He doesn’t speak for a moment, lids finally fluttering open as he stares up at her with those watery eyes. The ones he knew made her weak to suggestion. He lets his hand creep up her calf –where he can still feel the divets of scars from their childhood running through the gardens– until it finds home on the hand she has in her lap, he threads his fingers with hers. The number of rings adorning her fingers was thanks to him: he and his obsession with keeping his older sister glamoured. 

Imported Dornish rings that gleamed with the heat of the sun, Essosi ornate cloth and dresses that were far from the modesty of Court, hair pins adorned with pearls from the Summer Isles, and an intricate necklace crafted from the smelted metal of a Valyrian sword, inlaid with gemstones he had pulled from the Red Keeps vaults.

She was wearing it now, the stones gleaming under the sun that spotted through the lace curtains of her room. The engraved details scatter the few beams of light they catch like dew drops upon spider silk. The stones dangle between the valley her breasts create, the smallest of them twirls some intricate dance as she shifts. Like molten silver, it fits her without any of the stiffness metal should have. 

“We should be.” He glances down at his hand intertwined with hers and watches her thumb rub over his —in the way she always has ever since childhood— it makes him all the more rueful.

He’s hopeful, far beyond it. His bones ache and his head throbs from a swelling hangover, and he feels his throat ache something terrible at its use. His eyes trail from their hands to her face, he wants anything aside from sorrow to be there.

It’s worse. 

Her brows are furrowed as she stares down at him with pity, oh how he wishes it wasn’t pity.

“Oh, sweet boy.” She pulls her hand from his grasp and holds his face in her gentle hands with all the care he needs. “Some things, they just can’t be.”

His lip curls, a pathetic smile covering his visage as he cups the backs of her hands in his own. “But they could. Helaena would not care, she loathes our marriage. As do I. We could take Valyrian vows on Dragonstone. Just as our sister and uncle have. We could leave.”

“Aegon.” A wistful breath of his name, pained and twisted with grief of things that never were and never will.

“We don’t need to stay. Just you and I, riding atop Sunfyre. Across the Narrow Sea.” He moves onto his knees, staring into her wet doe-like eyes as he speaks. He doesn’t leave her an opportunity to doubt him. Doesn’t allow her to pull away as he keeps her hands on his jaw.

Her lips twitch and so do her fingers against his. “Aegon, don’t be foolish.”

“You mustn’t know what you mean to m-”

“Aegon, please.” She tries to pull away now, but he winds his hand into the hair at the nape of her neck and presses forward. Wine-stained lips crushing against the curve of her nose, fluttering across her brow like the gentle wings of a cotton moth as it devours silks and linen allied— devourer of all things beautiful and plain. 

He drags his lips to hers finally, soaking her up in a way only someone as depraved as he could. It’s like stretching out upon a rock after not feeling the son for years, like stripping yourself of shackles you’ve worn since birth. Her lips are chapped, a split in her lips from all the worrying she does to the poor thing scratches along his upper. He surges forward, pulling her so fully against him that it fills some empty part of him, like a puzzle piece that’s never been slotted into place. But oh —how it has— and how it always disappears just as quickly as it comes to him. He licks at her bottom lip, sucks it into his mouth and shudders out a breath as she reciprocates. Her lashes fluttering against his cheeks as they finally shut, as she cups his neck and presses her butterfly kisses onto him, licks into his mouth as she breathes hotly across his face in a way only Aegon can enjoy.

He nips at her tongue accidentally, overexcited and eager as he is. And that seems to bring her back from whatever hole he had dragged her into. But he persists, hand drifting down to the smooth metal of her necklace as he thumbs at a jewel. He tries to savour her presence even as her face scrunches and her fingers fist the hairs behind his ears. It nearly pains Aegon, with the way his head tilts away from her just slightly, Adams apple jumping against pale skin as he stares oh-so adoringly, heady breaths stinking of wine fanning her bruised lips.

“We could start a family in Essos. As many children as you want.” He desperately reaches for her again.

“Aegon.” 

“A home in Braavos, on the beach. Where we could lo-”

A hiccuped sob that withers in her throat is what stops him, punches the wind from his lungs.

Her lips are pursed and her hands have loosed upon his hair and move to cup his ruddy cheeks. Nails pressing into the flesh of his face hazardously. His eyes are dark and his lips part as he stares up at her, he sees the tears edging along her waterline. That deep frown she has when she’s trying not to cry, whether it's about something he had done or when she’s ordered by their Grandsire to stop her hysterics.

“Aegon,” It’s a sullen whisper as she lets his face go entirely, fingers slipping down his chest before they land in her lap again. “I am not a trueborn daughter. I will never be. I am not right in the mind. I will birth lunatics and monsters and wailing death. You can’t love me.”

He doesn’t know what to say, for once he has no sharp-tongued quip or comment. He pushed her from a height, just when she had finally reached the top of her spire. He retracts, fingers loosening from the grip he had on her pale hair, and lets her fall back onto the plush of her bed as she stares up at him like he’s burnt her. Like he’s dragged a dagger across the soft of her flesh and told her he never loved her. She pushes herself away, curling in on herself as tears cut through the flush of her cheeks. A wobbly exhale, and another as he drags a hand through her hair.

Her fingers dance down her neck and across the skin of her arms where they find home on the pale scars marring the upper parts of her arms. He can see her fingertips quivering with the urge to dig. To pull at chords of muscle beneath her skin and scratch at her bones. She had told him about things she saw. Things that hunted at the edge of her vision and scattered when she went looking. Dreams that came to the waking world with her. A pale man with the stench of darkness seeping from his pores.

“I love yo-” He leans forward to comfort her. 

“You don’t.”

“I know that I love you.”

“You know nothing, Aegon.” She pulls herself to the edge of the bed and drags herself to stand, the silk bedsheets slip away and her goosebumps raise upon her bruise-marred skin, she’s as bare as the day she was born. Her throat is too tight and her necklace feels heavy as she stumbles to the secret passage, she slips from the room unbidden and leaves a smudge of blood on the wooden grain of the bookcase as Aegon sits in her bed. Salty tears of his own roll down his face as he clenches and unclenches his fists.

[bunniwords]

prove me right ╱ c.yj x gn!reader

synopsis: your jealousy for his girl best friend lead you to have one of the most difficult conversations you needed to have with jun.

genre: angst, no comfort

bunni speaks: surprise! i’m back to my roots of causing others pain through my writing. just a quick drabble! enjoy or… don’t 🐰 also i didn’t proofread… xo

loving someone like yeonjun was not difficult in the slightest. when he gave you his attention, you felt like the most important person in the world. from the way he held your hands to the way he called out your name, that boy had you smitten.

so why were you standing in front of him crying?

“i want to break up,” you could hardly hear the words coming out of your lips, “please.”

yeonjun couldn’t understand why you sounded so desperate. he believed everything to be fine. everything was fine, no?

“i don’t… why? did i do something wrong?” he was steady with his words when he asked.

you remained silent.

“you can’t break up with me if you can’t tell me why,” he frowned.

“you’ll be mad,” you whispered, “i just want us to end on good terms.”

“no,” he furrowed his brows, “tell me what’s wrong. you can’t just not tell me. i deserve to know.”

you nervously started stretching out the ends of your shirt. how could you tell him you were jealous? jealous of his best girl friend? the one where he’s dropped anything and everything for? you loved this boy but feeling like you’re not important enough to your partner isn’t what you deserve.

“my birthday,” you said.

“but you know that i had to—“

“yeah, i know she’s going through a bad break up and you had to be there for her. there was also when my cat had to go to the er,” you cut him off.

“wait, but that time…” he trailed off, trying to think about what had happen then.

“she got stood up on a date,” you answered for him, “and she broke her leg on our anniversary and she also needed a wedding date. she—“

“wait,” yeonjun stopped you, “you’re breaking up with me because i’m a good friend?”

you really really tried holding back your tears but before you knew it, more streams were forming on your face. you felt frustrated because you were breaking up with him but you seemed like the only one hurting this much. he couldn’t understand or even fathom your pain right now.

“yeah, sure,” you managed to say.

“sure?” he sounded mad but you didn’t dare to look at him.

“do you think you can handle it, junnie? do you think you can accept me not showing up because of a best friend?”

“this is ridiculous.”

“yeonjun, please. i’m not trying to change who you are, but i can’t handle this. i don’t want to be your number two.”

“you aren’t!” he shouted.

your eyes widened and you actually made eye contact with him. you really didn’t want to see his face while you looked like this but he’s never raised his voice at you.

“i-i sorry, i didn’t mean to raise my voice. it just seemed important at the time, but you’re not number two… i’ve always…” yeonjun pouted, “i love you but it’s her. she’s my best friend…”

you only nodded and forced a smile. if another word came out, you might actually start bawling.

“please,” he held your hand as he pleaded, “i love you.”

everything felt as if it was burning you. you didn’t want him to comfort you. you didn’t want him to give you hope.

“n-no,” you uttered as you pulled your hands away from him to wipe your tears, “i can’t handle it. i don’t want to be your second choice. i love you, but it hu-urts… i can’t… i can’t do it.”

yeonjun didn’t know what to do to change your mind. he didn’t think this would be a problem in your relationship. he wasn’t cheating on you. no, he’d never cheat on you. he was just always taught to be a good friend and this was his best friend the two of you were talking about. this was someone he always wanted in his life and that was fine to you too until he started prioritizing her over you.

“please…” he begged, “i…”

jun started to see your relationship flash before his eyes. your soft gentle touches when you brushed small strands out of his face when he’s in middle of talking to you. how you remembered the smallest littlest things he’s picky about and how you cutely mocked him for it. you all snuggled up in bed with all the blankets and pillows suffocating you but he adored seeing you like that. your giggles when he gave you flowers. your cold hands on his neck so he could gladly warm you up. the sight of you waiting in your favorite outfit for him to take you out on a date.

why didn’t he think of you first?

why did it have to take you sobbing for him to see all of this? to see how bad it has gotten?

“i’ll prove you wrong, angel,” he concluded, “just one more chance.”

“junnie…” you frowned, “i don’t wanna be proven right.”

“you’re my number one. i’ll show you.”

“no, you’ve shown me. maybe you can show your next partner. it’s okay,” you forced out a smile, “i don’t want you to choose. your first instinct isn’t to go to me and that’s okay.”

yeonjun’s heart was shattering. is this how you saw him? a boyfriend that can’t choose his partner first? he never wanted that. he doesn’t want another partner either. he only wanted you.

“baby, please don’t.”

“choi yeonjun.”

he visibly looked disgusted hearing you call him by his full government name.

“it’s not choi yeonjun or yeonjun. it’s junnie or baby or—“

“i’ll pick up my things next week.”

“no.”

“then i’ll come the week after.”

“give me one more chance, please,” he looked like he was going to get on his knees at any moment. you looked away but you swore you could see tears forming on his waterline.

“i’ll wait for when you’re ready to give me my things back then. it’s nothing i absolutely need. i’ll drop your things off when—“

“i don’t want to break up,” he seemed adamant, “just let me show you…”

“i—“

riiing. riiing.

you felt extremely defeated. without even asking or looking, you knew who was calling. this really was starting to feel like a sign, especially when he looked down at his phone to even check who it was.

you let out one last tired sigh.

“you can go and pick that up, junnie. bye.”

[mischieveousmayhem]

continuation of the series "Mom, we miss you", Bruce's point of view without his wife

My love, I failed

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Batmom! Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mention of death (obviously), Bruce ooc

Synopsis: Bruce took a chance to love again. Only to lose her.

A/N: okay a few things, thank you for all the requests ima work on them asap. second of all , back by popular demand we're gonna do Bruce. Third, I did Bruces differently;). Lastly, I might do Alfred too cuz like he's part of the fam too 🤭 anyways enjoy

THE MASTERLIST

—

"Dear Y/N,

I only want to talk to you, so here I am. You're gone and I realize that. But I miss you so much and can't accept your death. I know you wouldn't want to see me like this, I know you would want me to be strong but I simply can't because you were my strength.

I have not seen the boys in months after your funeral, only one I've seen is Jason and that is because sometimes I will sit out here with him.

I call myself Batman and claim to be a hero. But you were more of hero then I am. You even had your own power. The power of love.

When you first came into my life, I didn't except us to adopt so many kids together or have Damian around. Hell, I didn't even expect us to ever get married. You used that power of love and casted a spell on me.

For all these years you have dealt with me, and I don't know how or why. I know I was a little bit rude to you sometimes but you still dealt with it even when I hurt you. When I got in that bad mood, you always found a way to bring me down to feel like myself again.

As for the boys, they each had their own flaws when they first came into our lives. But to you their flaws made you try even harder to show them you loved them. However, I will never understand how you get the boys to cling onto you like they did. Maybe you just showed them the mother's love they were missing in their life. Hell, you even showed me mother's love, and you are my damn wife.

But my darling, I never got to apologize to you properly. Out of all the times I should've, you came and apologized like it was your fault. I never even said I forgave you most times, because most times it wasn't your fault.

I'm sorry for how I was towards you most of the time. Especially when you were upset about me putting myself and the boys in danger. I realize how bad it was. I apologize for all the times I broke your heart, and didn't help you put it back together.

But last of all, I'm sorry for sleeping with Talia while you were gone that one time. I don't understand myself why you stayed. I know that caused you so much pain and it ate at you when you found out Damian is my biological son.

For going through all this you are proven to be the strongest person I will have ever known.

My love, I failed you. I have said this when it's too late but I hope you're watching me and listening, because I want you to know I'm sorry.

Your pain and suffering has ended. Your long with your mental health is over. You were super strong , and thats why you are The Batmom.

I love and miss you,

Bruce Wayne."

He was crying the whole time he read that to your grave. Which secretly had nothing in it.

Why?

The public visits your grave and Bruce knew they would. But all of your boys had some of your ashes. Tim, had the most.

Bruce had a locket with your wedding picture on it and inside some of your ashes, which he clutched and his tears fell and he read the letter he wrote.

There he sat, underneath the cherry blossom tree at 2:45am, at your grave. His apology unheard by others but hopefully heard by you, Batmom.

[sapphicmsmarvel]

azriel: mr loverboy

angst + fluff 

“boy you keep on blowing my mind, caught up in my emotions.” 

song: mr loverboy by little mix

Azriel always treated you kindly when you were just friends. But once that mating bond snapped, oh boy that’s where everything changed. 

You didn’t think it was possible that Azriel could get sweeter than he already was but he quickly proved you wrong. 

If he knew you had a bad day, he’d show up with your favorite flowers, candy or a new book. He always held doors open for you, made you walk on the side of a street that was least hazardous. Always listened to you, held you. 

You made sure to return that in tenfold. 

Because of past relationships, you kind of expected to see your partner have wandering eyes but as long as they came home with you, you always felt like you didn’t have a right to be upset. At least, that’s what they told you. But Azriel’s eyes never strayed from yours. He hugged his family but he held you differently. As if he wanted every part of your body constantly being pressed against his. 

However, if someone randomly came up touching him, he would either flatly look at them disgusted or politely decline depending on the social situation. He didn’t like hurting other people's feelings but he knew your scent was on him as well as his whole ass wedding ring. 

You and the Inner Circle were at a party in the Summer Court. Tarquin and his newly wedded mate had thrown a lovely gathering. Tarquin even temporarily lifted the ban on Cassian. As long as he didn’t go anywhere alone. 

You were too used to seeing multiple people throw themselves on your husband. But he didn’t even look at them. He kept telling them no and they just wouldn’t listen. 

But this night, a night of love and celebration, you watched one girl just push it a bit too far. You could see your mate trying to politely turn her down and not cause a scene that would distract from the newly wedded couple. 

So you did what anyone else would do. 

Walked your sexy ass over and plopped down on his lap. Put his face in your hands and gave him a big ole kiss. You ignored the snickers from his brothers and the gasps from the girl and just focused on him. He kissed you back eagerly. His hands coming up behind your back and holding you. 

You two pulled away, he smiled, a glimmer of affection and pure warmth was sent down the bond. “What was that for?” 

You smiled, “I just wanted to.” You didn’t wanna admit it was jealousy. However, your husband wasn’t stupid. He smiled knowingly and you rolled your eyes. You turned towards the girl and she had already left. 

Satisfied, you turned towards where Azriel was facing. You saw the Inner Circle giving you shit-eating looks. You did something no one would dare do to their High Lady however you got special privilege. “Shut the fuck up.” You murmured. She threw her beautiful head back and laughed. She knew all too well how you felt about Azriel’s admirers. She felt the same about Rhysand’s. Nesta tipped her glass to you, she also knew what it was like fighting off the admirers. 

You leaned back against the warmth of your mate. A welcome contrast to the cool summer breeze on the patio. 

After a bit more dancing, Nesta and Cassian retired to bed, Rhysand and Feyre quickly following. After a quick goodbye to the happy couple, you and Azriel began a walk by the beach. 

“So do you prefer the sandy beaches or the rocky beaches of the Night Court?” Azriel asked you. 

“Honestly, I’ve always hated sand. Blegh, the herpes of nature.” You shuddered. 

He let out a loud, unguarded laugh and you found it the most beautiful sound. Usually, after a comment like that, your past partners would scold you. 

But Azriel embraces you. He held your hand even tighter. 

“But we wouldn’t be able to be barefoot in the Night Court.” He argued. “Yes, but we also don’t know what germs are touching our naked feet. I’d rather have protection. What if you step on glass in sand?” You said back. 

He gave you a pensive thought. “It seems we agree to disagree.” 

“You like the sand?” you asked softly. You’d put up with it for him. You’d put up a lot for this man.

“I don’t know what it is. It just feels nice.”

“Then we should look into a vacation rental here.” You squeezed his hand. 

“No, no you hate-”

“Hey, I hate sand but I can put up with it if it means I get to wake up to your sexy naked body in the sun.” You gave an overdramatic shiver. “Lord, they’re gonna have to put me in church for the thoughts I just had about you.” 

He let out another laugh, you wanted to preserve it in a jar and just open it to hear it. “Besides, a vacation rental would be nice. Just imagine,” You held your hand out in front of you as if to paint a scene. “A nice cabana, windows and doors wide open, curtains blowing in with the breeze. Fresh fruit and seafood waiting for us. The smell of sex and ocean water. A goddamn wet dream.” 

But when you turned your head, you just saw him gazing at you full of love. “I’m looking at the only dream I’ll ever need right now.” 

Your blush could’ve rivaled the earlier sunset. “Sap.” 

“You love it.” “More than anything.” You said, all traces of joking gone. 

You somehow were able to hold him tighter as you two continued walking 

“Thank you for earlier by the way.” You whispered. 

He looked confused, “what?”

“You didn’t entertain that random girl. I appreciated it.”

“You…you don't need to thank me for not looking at other people?” He was even more confused. “You’re my mate. My wife. You come first, always and forever, baby.” He brought your interlocked hands up to his lips to kiss your hand. 

You got a bit embarrassed.  “I’ve never been anyone's first choice, so it’s kind of crazy to me that I’m yours.” You admitted. 

His heart slowly broke that you had never had someone treat you like this. He pulled you both to a stop. “You’ll always be my number one. Even above the Night Court. Above it all.”

“I’d never ask you to put me above your job, Az.”

“I know, hence why you’re put above it.” He pulled you in to kiss your forehead. “You deserve the best, better than me, I don't know how the Mother paired-“

“Shut up,” You snapped with no real bite. “You’re wonderful Az, I’ll always tell you that.”

He conceded, “we’re perfect together.”

“Fuck yeah we are.” You said bringing him in for a kiss. 

[athanza]

Starlett - Part 1

Cooper Howard/fem!OC (not self-insert)

Tags: Hurt/comfort (sort of?), non-allowed romantic connection, lots of tention, pre and post war drama, some fluff

Warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse (no graphic scenes or descriptions of that nature), angst, canon wasteland violence

Summary: The Ghoul remembers a recruit of Moldaver, by the name of Irene Taylor, who he met before the war.

This branches out from canon but I thought it was a cute story idea so I had to write it. Enjoy! ♡

Part 2 | Part 3 | Final part

2296

Cooper's weather-beaten boots thudded on the dirt, the stones crackling beneath his heels.

The town was too quiet for there not to be a surprise waiting for him somewhere amongst the pre-war rubble so when a glimpse of movement caught his attention and he pulled his gun.

A kid, no older than 15 held up his hands in fear.

"Please don't shoot!"

Coopers sunken eyes narrowed. "Do yourself a favour and scram. If you try anything I will shoot you. Understand?"

The kid nodded frantically in agreement and Cooper gestured with his gun for the kid to get out of there.

As the boy ran off, a large, rolled up piece of paper fell out of his backpack and unfurled face-up in the dirt.

Cooper stepped over as he re-holstered his gun, and looked down at it out of curiosity. When he saw a familiar face on it he bent down to pick it up and held it out in front of him.

"Irene Taylor," It read. "Songbird of Hollywood Hills."

On the poster was a large photograph of a glamorous woman behind a microphone, and a look of a fond, yet faded, remembrance appeared on his scarred features.

2077

"This is a little public for a meeting isn't it?" Cooper asked as he and Lee Muldaver made their way to an empty table at a local jazz club called the Bird Cage.

"My contact is meeting us here. Don't worry about being recognised, this place is used to celebrities, they mind their own business."

They took a seat and settled in and Cooper turned his attention to the band, the singer had a lovely voice and it reminded him of the band that played at his wedding. He shook the memory from his mind.

"So where is this contact?" He asked.

Muldaver smiled a little. "You're listening to her."

He looked back at the singer.

Now that he thought about it, he did recognise her. He'd seen her face on posters for jazz clubs all over the city but never gave them much thought.

"Her husband is Frank Taylor, he's an executive for Vault Tec. She feeds us any information she can get. She's one of our best."

She had wonderful stage presence, captivating the audience with a rendition of "Them There Eyes" by Billie Holiday. Her champagne coloured dress sparkled in the stage lights, and she had every person in that room wrapped around her finger, and she knew it.

When she finished the song the room roared with applause and she stepped off the stage, politely thanking patrons as they came up to her on her way over.

Muldaver rose from her seat to meet her as she reached their table.

"Lee." Irene smiled fondly as she hugged her. "Thank you for coming."

"That was wonderful as always."

"Stop it you." Irene joked.

"May I introduce Mr. Cooper Howard?"

Irene looked at him and he held out his hand, having stood up with Muldaver.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Howard." She smiled as she took his hand.

"The pleasure is mine." He replied with a charming grin.

She sat down at their table and waved the waiter down for a round of drinks.

"How is everything going? Is Frank well?" Muldaver asked.

Cooper noticed Irene make a subtle, nervous glance at the bar before answering. "He's fine." She replied. "You said there was something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes, our new recruit."

Muldaver looked at Cooper and Irene seemed surprised, unable to reply for a few seconds.

"I apologise for seeming so shocked, but with all of your promotions with Vault Tec, you're one of the last people I'd expect."

"Don't worry about it." He replied, reassuring her. "I understand. I'm not the first I'd expect either."

"Well, I guess this proves how convincing Lee can be." She smiled again, but there was something in that smile that seemed pained somehow.

Just then, a man came up behind them with a drink in his hand and put the other on Irene's shoulder and she jumped a little.

By her reaction Cooper thought it was another random patron come to say hello and invade her space, but he kissed her on the cheek and she looked up and smiled at him.

"Hello darling." She said.

"Hi Frank, how have you been?" Muldaver smiled.

"Oh, you know, more hours and no pay rise." He joked.

It was obvious he was tipsy and the discomfort on Irene's face as her husband sat down next to her made Cooper's eyes narrow a little.

"Darling, have you met Mr. Howard?"

"No I haven't had the pleasure." Frank replied, reaching over to shake his hand. "Nice to finally meet you Mr. Howard, your advert for vault 4 was terrific, exactly what we were looking for. I was sad to hear about your resignation."

Cooper shifted in his seat and chuckled uncomfortably, trying to retain his professionalism. "Ah, well, I'm not getting any younger." He joked.

Frank laughed, a little louder than was necessary. "Aren't we all! Say, is it true that it was your real dog in A Man and His Dog?".

Cooper took a sip of his drink that had just arrived. "Yes, Roosevelt, he's a beloved member of our little family."

"Well isn't that just the cutest darn thing." He smiled.

Irene was shrinking. Frank's presence was drowning the one that was only just captivating an entire audience. Then he noticed it and his chest pulsed with distain.

"Mr. Taylor, would you mind if I stole your wife for a dance?"

Irene looked slightly worried and stuttered her reply. "U-um, I don't..." She looked at Frank, almost for permission.

He hesitated but wanted to save face in front of everyone. "Of course." He smiled.

She stood up and walked over to take Cooper's extended hand.

He lead her to the dance floor. The band was playing an instrumental of "Good Morning Heartache" and he placed a hand on her waist.

"Not too close." She said. She realised her fear had slipped out and very quickly composed herself. "Don't want Frank to get jealous." She chuckled, disguising her reaction with a joking tone.

He stayed a modest distance from her as they began swaying to the music.

"He's playing it down but Frank is a big fan of yours. He's seen almost all of your movies, even dressed as your role in The Man From Calabasas for Halloween a few years back."

"You know," he said. "There's a funny story from that set. In the scene where I had to lasso that steer, the first take it somehow managed to pull me clean off my horse. I had a terrible black eye for two weeks after that, but the makeup team covered it up so well that no one could tell. In other words, I know a cover job when I see one."

She nervously glanced at her shoulder, briefly enough that hopefully Frank wouldn't notice if he was watching her.

"I know we just met, and it's none of my business, but Lee told me you married him for the mission. If he's hurting you, you need to tell her."

"She knows." Irene replied.

"She knows? And she hasn't pulled you out?"

"I asked her not to."

"Why?"

"Because this cause means a lot to me, and whatever I'm going through is for the greater good. I'm the only one with my foot in the door this high up, at least before you showed up."

He was getting angry now, not at anyone in particular, but at the unnecessary situation.

"Forgive me, but that's about the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard. You don't need to be in this any more than I do."

She scoffed dismissively. "You don't understand Mr. Howard, this is my purpose, stopping Vault Tec in any way that I can, even if it's one password or document at a time."

Part 2

[scekrex]

Adam Masterlist

Consider chasing dick instead of pussy {SFW}

Fuck him, flip him, bend him backwards, baby, put your back into it {NSFW}

Bitches want me 'cuz they know that I can rock {NSFW}

Heavenly {NSFW}

Till death do us part, but we're already past that phase {SFW}

Heaven's gates won't open up for us again {SFW}

What it takes to be a man {SFW}

Going viral {SFW, crack fic}

Hidden in the sheets {SFW}

Lost and Found {SFW}

Any way you want me, baby, that's the way you got me {NSFW}

Night Terrors {SFW}

I'm liking it better with you {SFW, crack fic}

Drunk 'n' Nasty {SFW, crack fic}

Constant Headache {SFW}

Baby we could be Bonnie & Clyde {SFW}

Do you even {SFW, crack fic}

For you I'd bleed myself dry {SFW}

Pretty baby with the sun in his eyes {SFW}

Figure you out {SFW}

Cuffed Up {SFW}

Got Me Obsessed {NSFW}

Forbidden fruits cause damage {SFW}

Born to Lose {SFW}

Chaotically Chaotic {SFW}

Let me live/Let me die {SFW}

Lonely Eyes {SFW}

Flying and Falling are pretty close to each other {SFW, crack fic}

I'll shelter and adore you more than anything {SFW}

Stick It To The (Wo)Man {SFW}

With broken wings we're fallin' {SFW}

The Plan (Fuck Parents) {SFW}

Pretty Boy Swag {SFW}

Goodbyes that feel like you're still in my city {SFW}

In Desire We Trust {NSFW}

People Pleasing doesn't rock {SFW}

And I dream to be your fantasy {SFW}

Chains on my lips just add flames to the fire {SFW}

Love me like you mean it, a little bit harder now {NSFW}

Never wanna stop 'cause your taste is so divine {NSFW}

Let the sun set on your life and I'll make, oh I'll make you mine {SFW}

When you meet my eyes, we both know that you're mine {SFW}

But I still want more, don't know what I'm after {NSFW}

I hate everyone, it's so easy, I wouldn't do it if I didn't really care {NSFW}

It's 'cause of these things {SFW}

He can fix it {SFW}

If God's watching then we're both sinners {SFW}

Love at first sight, I still believe {SFW}

Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone {SFW}

I bring the ribs, I bring the drama {SFW}

Everything I love, I guess it makes me damned {NSFW}

Smother me with loving hands {SFW}

We're eating good tonight, darlin' {NSFW}

Reach out and touch faith {NSFW}

Birthday boy {SFW}

All the violence makes a statement {SFW}

If I'm so wonderful then why am I so misunderstood {SFW}

This hurts me like Heaven {NSFW}

Is this the life, the one from your dreams? {NSFW}

I got myself a fuckin' life dressed up in evening wear {SFW}

Little soldier {SFW}

About bragging and loving {SFW}

The deeper you go, the better you feel {NSFW}

Never wanted to dance with nobody, but you {SFW}

I'm a jester and I'm yours, call me your fool {SFW}

Burning, I feel it too {SFW}

There's a darkness at the heart of my love, that runs cold, runs deep {SFW}

I promise you that I'll be good to you if you promise that you'll try to love me too {SFW}

Make me cum {NSFW}

You're dead to me, stop saying my name like beetlejuice {SFW}

Spin round quick rock yo body {NSFW}

I got all twisted up, you helped straighten me out {SFW}

Suck it up, big boy {NSFW}

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be {SFW}

Take me down, a little bit harder now {NSFW}

I'm not likely to kick a head in, but I'll curb stomp a bitch if she objects at our wedding {SFW}

Kill anyone for you {SFW}

Out for Blood {SFW}

Lover come hold me {SFW}

I'll meet you in hell {SFW}

I don't want you to hate me, no, I want you to wanna hate me {SFW}

I wave goodbye to the end of beginning {SFW}

Let's make a mess and cross the line, you and me a masterpiece {NSFW}

Call me daddy {SFW}

I love it - you son of a bitch {SFW}

The king's demand of golden birds {SFW}

Rocking your world {NSFW}

I'm gonna fuck you up without further ado {SFW}

Can't take back all the things we said {SFW}

Slow Dance with You {SFW}

Gold is a divine color, luckily you're the most divine person to exist {SFW}

You're always so lovely {SFW}

All I want is all you've got {SFW}

'Cause a sinner needs a saint to tell him what's at the end {SFW}

Drunken Truths {SFW}

A bloody nose and two bleeding hearts {SFW}

'Cause no one saw me the way you did and no one's seen me that way since {SFW}

And I know the weight of the world can't crush my chest {SFW}

I could treat you so much better I've known you forever figured you out {SFW}

Masterlist 2

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - As Sure As It Gets

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 4.6k

Warning(s): none? Angst? Miscommunication?

This was proofread once and written during a nasty headache.

—————————————

“Jack, you’re my best friend.. and I know that..” I had to pause to find the right words. Jack was home for the summer. Home with his family, and I stupidly thought I couldn’t hide my feelings any longer.

“Your best friend?” Jack smirked, leaning into my side, where he’d been for the past hour, binging comedy sitcoms with me. He was practically laying on me, but I never minded. Jack was always a space invader. The best kind, in my opinion. Cuddly and gentle.

“Yeah.” My heart hurt to hear the excitement in his tone when he repeated my words. Maybe best friends was all he wanted to be.

“What’s up?” Jack pressed on, knowing by the tone in my voice that there was more.

“Jack-“ I sighed, glancing down at my lap, where I had been playing with Jack’s hands, occasionally running my fingers over the bracelet I made for him a week ago. The one he never took off. Because it was a symbol of our friendship.

When I didn’t continue, Jack gently moved one of his hands from my own to rest on my thigh.

“I’m listening.”

“Did you ever think about us.. as maybe more than friends?” I knew he had when we were little. Because when we were little, Jack was obsessed with me. Always running across the street with dandelions or flowers from his mother’s garden to knock on my door and give them to me. I used to love the flowers, but Jack had to stop that eventually when Ellen’s plants kept dying. At one point, little Jack, as mischievous as he was, stole his mother’s wedding band to propose to me. Granted we were only kids, and those feelings meant nothing, because they weren’t romantic. But Jack used to think I was the prettiest girl in the room.

“What?” Jack giggled, and I was too caught up in the fact that he was laughing to acknowledge the nervous sound in his voice. “No. Why? We’re best friends.” Jack squeezed my thigh. “Silly.”

Silly. Just like my delusional hope that he felt the same way. My heart shattered. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I tried my best to wipe them away without disturbing the boy pressed into my side. I stared down the tv, as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. Jack and I never bothered to look at one another. But at one point I did notice the way his hand raised to his face. No doubt biting one of his nails, which was a nervous habit he had. Had I made him uncomfortable?

When I got the confidence to speak again, I carefully rubbed a hand through his hair to gain his attention. My eyes were no doubt red from holding back tears, but in the dark, Jack would have been none the wiser. He tilted his head back to look at me.

“Yeah?”

“I should get going..” I was slow to slip out from beneath him. Jack’s lips immediately pulled into a frown. I never left the Hughes house this early.

“You have to stay. The episode’s not even over.”

“Sorry, Jack. I’m just too tired. Ask Lu to watch it with you.”

“Lukey’s boring.” Jack’s small whine of complaint would have been amusing if not for the pulsing pain in my chest. I forced out a laugh nonetheless and started to make my way over to the door. It was only then that Jack completely sat up and stared me down, a sad look in his eyes that I didn’t completely understand. I slipped my shoes on and eyed him in the silence.

“You’re really leaving?”

“Yes, Jack.”

“But we were gonna do milkshakes.” The disappointment in his tone frustrated me. The last thing I wanted to do was be around him.

“We’ll do ‘em some other time, Jack.” I sighed, shaking my head and grabbing my purse. A few tears finally slipped down my cheeks.

“Did I do something?” I heard Jack stand up, and I immediately reached for the door, opening it.

“No.. no Jack. Goodnight.”

Perhaps it was a harsh way to leave him. We hadn’t spoken for a week. An insufferably long week. I pushed him aside when he asked about hanging out. I told him I wasnt home when he asked to come over. I told him I didn’t have time when he offered to take me out. And each time he texted, I’d cry. I’d remember how he wanted nothing more than a friendship, and my heart would break all over again.

“He can have anybody. I should have known it was just in my head.” Eventually the sadness became overshadowed by anger. Frustration in myself for ever letting my feelings get as far as they had.

“I could have sworn he had a thing for you.” Madison muttered as she leaned against the cafe table we were seated at. The one I took Jack to frequently before I decided to ignore his existence.

“Apparently not.” I snapped softly. “He’s just like that.. that’s just the way Jack is. He’s touchy and sweet- and cuddly, and he probably did the same thing with Ty before he left.” My voice could barely balance itself, overwhelmed with emotion as I felt tears well up in my eyes. What hurt the most was knowing Jack probably wasn’t even phased by the fact that we weren’t talking much, or seeing each other. He probably just assumed everything was fine. This was one of those things I couldn’t see Jack about. I couldn’t cry on his shoulder about a broken heart, because he was the one who broke it. And he didn’t even know.

“Maybe you just need to find another guy. I mean, you’ve never known anybody as deeply as you knew Jack. Maybe a contender might help. And you have shit to look forward to! Like your birthday coming up! Did you make plans?”

“Not really…”

“We should do something!”

“I don’t know.”

“We could go out for drinks and get you laid. I think that’s a flawless plan.”

“What about Jack?”

“Think of it as the beginning of you forgetting about him.”

“I’ll think about it.” I wouldn’t. I knew for a fact the Hughes would want to do something, and as hard as it was to think about Jack, I’d still rather spend my night with a family who cared about me, than a man looking to get lucky.

——————

“Hey, mom?”

Ellen smiled at the sound of her son’s voice. Filling that silence she grew used to over the years of her boys being gone. She looked up from the magazine in her hands, taking in the usual disheveled appearance of her middle child. She wasn’t oblivious to the change in his behaviors as of recent, but seeing as he wasn’t going to be an open book about it, she never asked more than once.

“What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you, just real quick?”

“Yeah, hun. What’s-“

“It has to be fast. I’m up to play Quinn in ping pong next.” Ellen smiled at her son. He always thought he was slick, finding excuses to make their emotional conversations brief. To act like whatever was on his mind, wasn’t truly that bothersome.

“Pop a squat sweet pea.” Jack quickly plopped down in the deck chair across from Ellen. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, leaning back and getting comfortable. Too comfortable for the supposed “short” conversation they were going to have. “What’s going on?”

“Do you know..” Jack’s hands fell into his lap, fidgeting with them aimlessly. “How to apologize for something.. when you don’t know what you did wrong?”

Ellen’s brow furrowed, and she closed the magazine in her hands.

“Who’s mad at you?”

“Uh.. nobody. I was just- asking.”

“Is it one of your brothers?”

“No.. it’s just- the other night, at the house when I had-“

“Did you upset her? What did you say?”

Ellen knew it was me before he even said my name.

“I didn’t say anything.” Jack brought his hand up to his face, resting his cheek on his fist and propping his elbow up on the arm of the chair. “She asked me if I ever thought of us as more than friends.”

“What’s wrong with that? You like her, don’t you?” Jack shrugged, a deep frown tugging at the corners of his quivering lips. “Honey, what’s wrong?” Ellen cooed, slowly leaning forward.

“I told her no.”

“What?” She set her magazine aside. “Why?”

“Because she’ll end up hating me!” Jack began to wipe at the tears forming in his eyes. Ellen stared him down in disbelief.

“How many years have you guys been friends? She’s put up with you this long.”

“But it’s different.. if we get into a relationship and she decides she hates me, it’ll ruin our friendship.” Jack choked on a breath of air and sighed. “She’s my best friend, mom. What if I ruin it?” Ellen slowly stood up and closed the short distance between herself and her son. She reached out to him, and sighed when Jack fell forward, his forehead pressed into her stomach as his arms wrapped around her legs.

“Sometimes I wish you’d just tell me these things before you work yourself up this much over them.” Ellen whispered as she ran one of her hands through Jack’s hair. “Jack, I don’t think you could possibly ruin anything between you two. I raised you to be a kind and respectful person. You’ve never hurt a girl before, have you?” He shook his head, a quiet sniffle catching the attention of his mother, who moved the hand rubbing his back to carefully guide his head away from her body. She tilted his chin upwards. “And even if something happens and you two decide to stay friends, I doubt she’ll just walk away.”

“She won’t spend time with me now.” Jack whispered, trying to stop himself from breathing as hard as he was, while his mother wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“Because she’s hurt, Jack.”

“‘Cause I hurt her.” Ellen could see the tears forming again.

“You can fix it honey, I promise. It’s not too late to figure it out.”

——————

“It’s refreshing to get out of the house. Jack’s been such a let down lately.” Quinn griped as he turned down the next street. I didn’t know why I turned Madison down to go out. I dreaded seeing Jack, but spending the day with Quinn helped me ease into the idea of spending an evening around him.

“Thanks for the birthday celebration today.” I spoke with a small smile.

“No problem. I enjoyed it. Especially that cake you dropped.”

“I didn’t drop it!”

“Yes you did! You’re lucky the thing had a lid, or we would have been eating cake off the concrete.”

“Bold of you to assume I was eating concrete cake.”

“You like the gift though, yeah?” Quinn swiftly switched the conversation on me, and I chuckled softly.

“It’s perfect, considering I’ve only been asking for Canucks gear for a year now.” I teased, tugging at the sides of the Canucks beanie I wore on my head.

“I’ll take it back.” Quinn threatened as he pulled into the driveway of the Hughes’ household. My gaze drifted to the house, and my smile slowly faltered.

“Mom’s been cooking all day. She even got our dad to help.” Quinn turned the car off and quickly climbed out. I hesitated, and he must have taken that as a hint, seeing as he opened the door for me when he got around to my side. I had no choice but to slip out of the car and follow him to the front door. I could smell the food the second Quinn pulled the door open. We both inhaled at the same time, an excited look taking over Quinn’s features. His usual dark and brooding demeanor completely gone.

“Mom! I got her!” Quinn called, and I gently shoved his shoulder.

“I’m not a package.” I scolded.

“Trust me, I know. Nobody would pay for you.”

“Hey! Don’t be mean!” Luke piped up as soon as he stepped into the entryway to greet us. “I’d pay for you.” I assumed Luke was trying to be kind, but it hadn’t come out the way he wanted it to, which left us three laughing softly.

“Glad to know. At least I’d have one supporter if my first profession doesn’t work out.” I held my arms out, and Luke was quick to hug me.

“That’s nasty.” Quinn commented, seeing as I put a visual in his head that he certainly didn’t want. “Go talk to Jack about that.” It was a thoughtless quip. One he knew better than to speak after his mother informed him of the situation, but one he hadn’t thought twice about saying because he said similar things all the time. I cringed, and Luke gave me an extra squeeze. I had no clue that either of these boys knew of my situation with Jack. When Luke pulled away, Ellen was standing in the doorway waiting for her turn. We lunged at each other the second we made eye contact, Ellen pulling me into one of the tightest hugs I’d ever received.

“Oh how I missed you!” She laughed softly. “Jim did too, believe it or not.” It was my turn to laugh.

“Where’s he at?” I questioned as we pulled apart.

“In the kitchen with Jack.” My heart sank. I hadn’t been as prepared as I thought I was. “Come on!” Ellen grabbed my hand and led me off down the hall. I drew in a deep breath, soothed by the smell of her cooking, and quickly stressed by the sight of Jack when I stepped into the kitchen with the woman.

“Hey! Birthday girl’s finally here!” Jim shouted, abandoning the pan on the stove to hug me. I laughed at his excitement.

“Jim! I told you to stir that!” Ellen left my side to rush toward the pan. Jim pulled away from me to look back at his wife.

“I just wanted to say hi.”

“I got it, now.” Ellen waved him off, and I found myself giggling at them before my gaze trailed toward Jack, seated at the table with a hopeful smile on his face.

“Hey!” I had to remind myself that he hadn’t really been affected by my confession. That the joy in his tone was from the fact that this was the first time we’d seen each other in a good week and a half. I couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Jack’s hope was merely a cover for how worried he was that our friendship was already falling apart. He was trying to look excited while mentally he berated himself over missing his chance with me.

“Hey, J.” I prayed for a distraction, and thankfully it presented itself when Luke came rushing into the room to grab my arm.

“You have to pick our movie tonight.”

“It’s my turn!” Quinn shouted from the living room.

Jim scoffed and leaned against the counter.

“Quinn and I will compromise on something. We’ve spent the whole day together, I practically know him like the back of my hand now.” I joked softly. “Go tell your brother to calm down.” Luke nodded and slipped back out of the room. I turned to look back at Jim and Ellen.

“Happy birthday.” Jack’s voice made me cringe. I forced a smile and looked toward him to nod, but my brow furrowed when I noticed the falseness in his smile, fidgeting with his hands.

“Dinner will be ready soon, if you kids wanna go sit in the living room and find that movie.” Ellen suggested.

“Got a time estimate on that?” I watched her head whip back in my direction, smiles painting our lips.

“Ten minutes,” she answered with a chuckle. I nodded and swiftly left to find Quinn and Luke in the living room.

“Quinn, hand over the remote.” I held my hand out, and watched Quinn roll his eyes before placing the tv remote in my hand.

“We’ll pick something together.”

“Oh no! It’s your birthday. Nobody wants what I want.” I chuckled at Quinn’s dramatic acting.

“You hit the nail on the head, Q.” I teased, only to earn a glare from him. We spent the next ten minutes arguing over a movie before Ellen called us into the kitchen again. There was a swift prayer said over the food, and Ellen began preparing plates before guiding everybody into the living room. Usually we ate at the table, but seeing as it was a special occasion, Ellen was lenient.

I plopped down on the couch beside Quinn, Luke quickly invading my space on the other side. I’d admit it felt weird, because Jack always sat beside me, but I tried not to think much of it. Until he came into the room and sat in the arm chair diagonal to the couch. We spared each other cautious glances, and Jack flashed me a hopeful smile. He was off. I couldn’t understand why.

“So,” Ellen spoke when she walked into the living room, sitting on the floor and resting her plate in her lap. “Tell me what you and Quinn did today.”

“She dragged me around until my feet hurt.”

I lightly slapped Quinn’s shoulder, and shot a glare at Luke when he laughed.

“We went to Starbucks first. Then we went to the mall and ran around for a bit. I went ahead and bought a new dress for this fund raiser I have going on next month.”

“I pitched in on that.” Quinn chimed in.

“Yes. He technically got me two things.”

“Yeah, but the beanie didn’t cost much.” He reasoned, and I shrugged.

“Anyways,” I smiled. “We stopped at Walmart after and got a small cake to share-“

“That she dropped.”

“On accident!” Luke started laughing once again, and I shot him another dirty glare. Jim seemed just as amused, and I almost expected Jack to laugh too, but when I looked in his direction, he didn’t seem to be paying much attention, merely picking at his food and occasionally looking up. I may have been heartbroken over the fact that he didn’t like me the way I did him, but I hated to see him so off. I hated that I hadn’t been able to spend my birthday with Jack, like we did every year prior.

“It was still good.” I spoke, slightly distracted by my conflicting thoughts about Jack.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Quinn still decided to play difficult.

“Seems like you two had a great day. Jim went out to do some last minute present shopping while I cooked today.” Ellen’s husband looked up at her with wide eyes.

“Damn mom,” Quinn laughed, “throwin’ dad under the bus.”

“More like ran me over.” Jim chimed in, earning a gentle nudge from Ellen.

“You guys didn’t have to get me anything.”

“We always do, hun.” Ellen reasoned, and she wasn’t wrong. The Hughes family always made me feel loved and special. Anybody would have been lucky to be as close to them as I was.

We conversed and discussed various things while we ate, until plates were set aside and conversation slowed. “Alright. I’ll take plates into the kitchen. You guys get the presents out.” Ellen instructed, and I watched everybody stand up and disperse. Everybody except for Jack. I eyed him for a moment, the way he brought his hand to his mouth to bite one of his nails. That spaced out look in his eyes. We started out good. He smiled at me. He greeted me. I pushed him off again…

“You good?” I finally asked.

“Fine.” Jack answered in a flat tone.

“Jack-“ I immediately stopped when Luke returned with his father. Luke held a small bag, and Jim held two wrapped boxes. When Ellen came back, with Quinn, she had a bag in her own hands. Everybody got situated in their spots again after the presents were set on the coffee table.

“Jack, honey, did you get anything?”

The middle boy looked toward his mother, shaking his head.

“I forgot.”

“That’s such a lie! You got her something like two months ago! You haven’t shut up about it since.” Luke was on the receiving end of a hard glare from Jack before the middle brother got up and stepped out of the room.

“I’ll grab it. You guys go ahead and start.” He spoke.

“Open mine first.” Luke suggested, and I nodded. Opening presents always went by quickly with the Hughes. Luke got me a Polaroid camera and a few packs of extra film. Something I never asked for, but was certainly elated to get. A gift that I was excited to use over the summer. Ellen had informed me that her mother had helped with her gift, which happened to be my very own Grandma Hughes blanket. With three little logos in the bottom, being the teams the boys play for, and my name embroidered in cursive on the other corner. Jim had gotten me a mug and tried to tie it in with his wife’s gift. I assured him the mug would be put to good use, and that I loved it. When it came down to Jack, Ellen called for him. We waited for a while before she let out a sigh.

“I’ll go find him.”

“Let me do it.” I slowly stood up from the couch. Ellen smiled at me and nodded. I didn’t expect my birthday to go by as smoothly as it did, but I knew there was tension between Jack and I. We just needed to talk. When I got up to his bedroom, I gently knocked on the door before pushing the cracked door open. Jack was on his bed, staring down at a little box and twisting a lock of hair between his fingers.

“Jack?” I must have startled him, hearing the gasp he drew in as he looked up at me. He looked teary eyed.

“I’m fine.” He insisted before I asked, his hand falling away from his hair. “I got this for you.” He held out the box, but it was the last thing I was interested in when my best friend looked absolutely heartbroken. I took the box from his hand and set it down on his nightstand.

“What’s going on?” I sat down on the edge of his bed. “Just a bad day?”

“A bad week.” I bit down on my bottom lip. I knew it was my fault. “I missed you.” He looked down at his bed.

“I’m sorry Jack.. I should have made time to spend with you.”

“It’s okay.” He sniffled. “You were upset.. it’s my fault. I ruined it.” I raised a brow.

“What did you ruin, Jack?”

“Our friendship.”

“Jack it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have asked you that question anyway. If anything it’s on me.. and if you don’t feel the same, it’s fine-“

“I like you too.” Jack’s voice came out in a whisper.

“You don’t have to lie now.” I felt the tears spring to my eyes, looking away.

“No I mean it. I do. I was afraid- in the beginning.. I got scared. I didn’t wanna lose you. I’ve liked you for- for forever. But I was afraid it would ruin our friendship.” I tensed when I felt Jack’s hand rest on my thigh. “I wanna be with you so bad.”

I looked back at him, my brow knitted together in disbelief. “Are you sure?” I wiped the tears from my eyes.

“So sure.” Jack looked up at me, and the silence was almost deafening. “I’m sorry I messed this whole thing up.” His eyes trailed back down to the bed, but I was quick to cup his jaw in my hand, bringing his attention back to myself.

“You didn’t mess anything up, Jack.” I insisted. “Just added a few pages to a chapter that could have ended a week ago.” I joked gently.

“I guess so.”

“Oh, stop that.” I gently rubbed his cheek with my thumb. “We’re on the same page now. There’s nothing to worry about.” I shimmied up the length of his bed and leaned back against the headboard. “Come here.” I patted the space next to myself, and Jack quickly moved up to sit beside me. I grabbed the small box from his nightstand and rested it in my lap. He still seemed a bit upset, but I had no doubt he was only beating himself up. He glanced down at the small box in my lap.

“I can return it if you don’t like it.” He spoke softly, but the last thing I wanted to do was return a gift from the boy who just confessed his love for me.

“You know I never return a Jack Hughes birthday gift.” I reminded him as I slowly tore the colorful wrapping paper off. I tried to fight the excitement in my chest when I felt the velvet on the box. It was jewelry.

Jack leaned into my side, one of his hands resting gently against the side of my thigh while I lifted the box and slowly opened it. My heart raced. I gasped. I sat up so quickly that Jack’s teeth chattered when my shoulder hit the underside of his jaw.

“Oh my god!”

“You like it?” Jack asked as he rubbed his face. I turned to look at him.

“It’s beautiful! Jack you have to put it on!” I quickly removed the cushion the necklace sat on. A dainty silver chain with an equally dainty heart charm on it. Something tiny, but elegant in its own manner. I removed the necklace from the cushion and handed it over to him.

“Where’d you find it?” I asked while he worked on undoing the clasp.

“New Jersey. My mom helped me find it for you when she visited last.” He wrapped the necklace around my neck, and I had trouble containing my smile. Once he got the clasp redone, I reached up to run my fingers across the chain.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t like it when I got it.. ‘cause it looked like something for a couple-“ I turned back in Jack’s direction and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

“God it’s a good thing we like each other then, huh?” Jack’s silence made me slowly pull away.

“Huh?”

“Because it’s a thing for a couple.” I reminded him of his previous words, and it seemed to take Jack a moment to understand before a smile parted his lips.

“We can do that?”

“Absolutely we can.” I allowed my arms to hang lazily over his shoulders.

“Man, I was so nervous.. I thought you’d change your mind or- god I don’t know..”

“Jack.” I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. “I have loved you for years now. My mind was made up a long time ago.” His big smile was such a contrast to the frown from before.

“You’re sure?”

“Ask me one more time, Hughes.” I whispered.

“You’re sure?”

I slowly leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“As sure as it gets, lovely.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[quotergirl19]

A season 3 conversation between Colin & Eloise:

Colin: You may be able to walk away from Penelope forever because she has done something that you do not approve of or that you cannot understand, but I am not so fickle hearted. I will not abandon her. I will do everything in my power to try and understand why she has done the things she has done, and to try and move past her faults and mistakes because I know her heart and she is a good person. I cannot imagine my life without her. How can you be so quit to forget years of loyal friendship? Are you truly so disloyal?

Eloise: You call me disloyal!? Do you even know what she has done? Do you have more faith in Penelope than in your own sister?

Colin: I do. She is our oldest and dearest friend, and I know how stubborn you can be.

Eloise: You might feel differently if you knew what I know.

Colin: I know that my life is colder and darker without Penelope in it. I imagine you must miss her. I was traveling for months and I thought of her often and deeply missed her friendship. Why are you so unwilling to talk things out so you can forgive and move past—

Eloise: Ask her yourself!! Only do not be surprised when she won’t tell you because she keeps secrets and cares nothing for the pain she causes others.

Colin: Of course she cares! I have never mentioned this before because I knew you would probably never let me live it down but she warned me about Marina. I just refused listen and Penelope hates that she chose to be disloyal to her own family to save me from being tricked into a lifelong commitment with someone who was willing to lie to me and make me her fool. I may have decided to forgive Marina’s actions but make no mistake, it took a very long time for me to do that and I honestly believe it was only possible because she was thwarted. Penelope acted out of desperation and fear of what would become of me if she didn’t stop the wedding and I can honestly say that I am grateful because I was being impulsive and reckless. She hates herself for hurting Marina!

Eloise: She— wait, you know!?

Colin: Yes! I also know that what she did saved Daphne from Nigel Berbrooke and you from your own foolishness! Thinking you could lie to the Queen and get away with it!? All because you decided to ignore every rule of propriety to see a print shop boy who might have ruined you and our entire family! And you think Penelope is the only one in the wrong!? I think it’s time you looked in the mirror Eloise, and be honest with yourself about the part you played in everything that happened.

Eloise: Why would she confide in you but not me?

Colin: Because I allowed her the chance to explain. You should consider doing the same. Especially since you’re about to be sisters.

Eloise: You can’t be serious, you don’t want to marry Penelope. You’re too busy flirting and traveling the world so you can bore us all with your stories.

Colin: I can still travel with a her. In fact, I’ll be grateful for the company and flirting with Penelope is something I particularly enjoy. I have asked her to marry me and she has consented to be my wife. So I encourage you to mind your tongue and be civil because nastiness and hostility directed at my bride will not be tolerated, sister.

Eloise: Oh my god… do you love her, brother?

Colin: With everything I am and everything I will ever be. We understand each other, we’re truly happy to know we will always be together. Please, make things right Eloise. Do it for me and for yourself, and do it for Penelope. She misses you, and I know you’ve missed your friend. Talk to her.

[thevoidscreams]

If you're still taking requests, I have one you might like. Primarchs admitting to their new wives that they've never had sex before. Let's see the boys and nervous virgins >:3c

Day four of Mating Press March

I'm picking Vulkan, Sanguinius, Magnus, and Ferrus for this. I hope that selection pleases.

Warnings for mentions of first times sex and blushy primarchs

Paring: primarchs x reader

"So, I'm all yours now. How would you like to have me?" You asked, smiling lovingly up at your towering husband.

Vulkan:

He swallowed hard as you crawled up his body to rest on his chest. He averted his firey red gaze, embarrassed by what he had to tell you.

"I..well I am unsure." He told you.

"Wait, have you never..?" You let the question hang in the air unfinished. Letting him decide if he wanted to finish it.

"I have not been with another, no. It was not for lack of interest, especially with you, my flame." He sighed. "But there was never a good time or opportunity. And as I grew and I became responsible for my sons." He voice trailed off and your hands cupped his cheeks. You were only a bit surprised by this. He was such a busy man.

"Well then, I would happily be your first." You kissed his nose and he wrapped his arms around you.

"Thank you. I would have you be my first and only one, though."

Your heart melted faster than a snowball on Nocturn. "Well, duh. I'm your wife now. I'd sure hope I'd be your only." His smile could have lit up half of Nostromos for how brilliant it was.

"How right you are, my flame. Please, will you guide me. I do not wish you hurt you, especially not on the night of our wedding." He appealed, and you were happy to oblige. How could you not for your beloved lord of drakes.

Sanguinius:

He turned away as you asked him. He was trying to figure out how to answer without leaving you hanging.

You hardly noticed as your angel looked so perfect as he shed his armor for you for the first time. He'd look nothing short of divine in his ceremonial armor. You could hardly pull your eyes away from him.

The celebration after had also been an absolute pleasure, and many of your new 'sons' had come to congratulate you and Sanguinius on your nuptials.

Your eyes trailed up his sculpted naked form. He was perfect. As much as any person could be, you thought. But your eyes stopped on his face. He looked distracted and even nervous.

Your hand reached for his taking it and holding it close to your chest. "What troubles you, my angel?"

He took a deep breath, his cheeks reddening as he searched for the words. "I am.." He took a moment before continuing. "I am well versed in many things. But this is not one of them, my dove."

He kneeled on the bed, still a good deal taller than you. "Well, I don't have much experience either. But between the two of us, I am sure we can combine what we know to figure it out." You offered sweetly.

Sanguinius swallowed down his nervousness. His eyes trailing over your form and the bridal lingerie you'd chosen for the evening 'conclusion'. And he felt excitement flowing through his veins. A hunger like he'd never had before.

He raised your hand to his lips, placing a kiss on them. "What I mean to say, my dove, is that I've never.. I've never been with anyone in this way."

The realization dawned on you and you felt a bit silly.

"Well, if you want, I take what little I know, and we can work it out as we go."

He nodded. "Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you." You opened your arms to him, and he hugged you close. Wrapping you up in his wings.

It didn't take you all night to figure it out. Sanguinius was a quick learner, and you were more than ready to take a trip to heaven with your angel.

Magnus:

You set your brush aside and ran your fingers through Magnus’s bountiful red locks. "There, all smooth and brushed."

A bath had been quite necessary after your wedding. After you and your newly we'd husband had been the target of piece of cake, courtesy of his brother Leman. But it'd all been in good fun and your dress wasn't ruined, which you were grateful for.

Magnus sighed and turned to face you. His single eye shone brighter as he saw you. "Thank you it is always better when you brush it."

"You cupped his cheeks as you slid into his lap. He was smaller than he'd been earlier, just a bit larger than the average human man. At least it would make things a bit easier. His lips met yours, pouring as much love as he could into the gesture. You melted against him. Delighting in your first proper kiss since the ceremony.

Several minutes passed in that sense of bliss until you had to pull away for a breath, your face flushed, and you bit your lip. Quietly, you asked him, excited to consummate your marriage. Magnus also flushed, but unlike you, his blush seemed to be one of embarrassment.

He rested his chin atop your head and hugged you. His twin hearts beating faster.

"I-I do not know." He stammered.

You pulled away quickly, looking up at his face, and saw a deep sense of uncertainty.

"I'm sorry, I mean, we don't have to if you're not interested. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Magnus quickly took your face in his large hands and gasped out an urgent but sincere "No."

That gave you pause, and you felt confused. "No?"

"What I meant," Magnus quickly amended, "is I don't know what I would like."

Still you were partly confused as you tried to piece things together in your mind. "We've talked about some things in the past. Things involving bedroom activities."

You felt stumped as your large and immensely powerful husband fidgeted.

"Magnus, please just tell me what's up."

He looked down at you and felt as well as saw the shift in your aura from arousal and excitement to worry and fear. His hearts clenched, knowing he'd caused you those feelings, and he figured if he couldn't put his pride aside for you, then he wasn't worthy of calling himself your husband.

"I'm a virgin." He blurted out. You looked at him dumbfounded. "My knowledge of sex has been, up till now, purely academic. And I was worried to tell you because I did not want you to think lesser or incapable."

Your opinion of him really did matter yo Jim more than he cared to admit. He was startled when a light chuckle broke from your lips.

"Oh Maggy, no, why would I ever think less of you for that? I mean, I am a bit surprised, though." He wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Why would you be surprised? I'm not like most men after all."

You gave him a shrug. "Exactly. I mean, look at you. You're the most amazingly beautiful man I've ever seen, and you're smart on top of that. You're incredible. I'm shocked you haven't, up until now."

Magnus smiled and nuzzled his nose against yours. "Maybe I was just waiting for my perfect match."

You felt warmth surge in your chest and sighed. "Would you like to just start slow and see where that takes us?"

Magnus nodded, pulling the ties holding your robe in place until he could slip it off. "Yes, I would like that very much."

Ferrus:

The bathroom door creaked open softly as Ferrus stepped out, garbed in nothing but a towel. He'd insisted on rinsing away the sweat of the day so he could be fresh for you before you spent your first night together as husband and wife.

In truth, Ferrus was gathering himself. Collecting his thoughts and trying to calm his pounding hearts. He saw you laid out on the bed and was uncharacteristically uncertain. His gleaming metallic hands held the towel even more firmly. You were a vision, the women he loved and the one he wished to bear his blooded sons.

Stepping up to the bed, Ferrus watched you raise your hands to invite him to join you. Your voice carried up to him, saccharine and warm.

"There is something I must confess." He admitted m, not allowing himself to hide the truth any longer.

His normally pale cheeks colored ever so slightly.

"What is it?" You asked. Ferrus sat on the edge of the bed.

"I have never been intimate with anyone before. I have had opportunities in the past. But I did not."

You took his words in and nodded. Not so much surprised but curious you asked. "Why not?"

Ferrus met your eyes and lifted one hand to tilt your chin up, his fingers so big compared to yours, and you placed a hand on his wrist.

"I have never wanted to before. You are the only one I have ever found to make me feel otherwise."

Your lips curled up in a gentle smile. "You're the only one I want to be with as well."

Ferrus nodded, and a rare ghost of a smile graced his lips.

"I will do my best to be as gentle as I can."

"I know. I trust you, and we'll figure this out together." You freed your chin from his hand and crawled into his lap to kiss him.

His lips were bigger than yours, but you made it work. And you would always make it work. Because he was worth it.

[jozor-johai]

Ser Arthur and Ser Jaime, the Maiden

Jaime’s knighting by Ser Arthur is, in so many ways, Jaime’s deflowering. I did not come up with this idea on my own—credit to @mylestoyne for pointing this out first, or at least for bringing this idea to my dash—but I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now, and I wanted to do a closer examination of this idea.

It had been years since his last vigil. And I was younger then, a boy of fifteen years. He had worn no armor then, only a plain white tunic. The sept where he’d spent the night was not a third as large as any of the Great Sept’s seven transepts. Jaime had laid his sword across the Warrior’s knees, piled his armor at his feet, and knelt upon the rough stone floor before the altar. When dawn came his knees were raw and bloody. “All knights must bleed, Jaime,” Ser Arthur Dayne had said, when he saw. “Blood is the seal of our devotion.” With dawn he tapped him on the shoulder; the pale blade was so sharp that even that light touch cut through Jaime’s tunic, so he bled anew. He never felt it. A boy knelt; a knight rose. (AFFC Jaime I)

Arthur Dayne reaffirms that “blood is the seal of our devotion,” which is true for this religious vigil just as it is true for the marriage bed. A marriage that is not consummated can be annulled:

Do I need to remind you that a marriage that has not been consummated can be set aside? (ASOS Tyrion IV)

Therefore, the revealing of the bloody sheet after a bedding is proof that the oath of marriage has been matched by a blood oath:

“Did you chance to see the marriage bed the morning after?” Cersei asked. “Did she bleed?” “No sheet was shown, Your Grace.” (AFFC Cersei VI)

So Jaime’s memory of his knighting ceremony is like a metaphorical wedding—and deflowering—in this way.

The imagery of the bloody sheet is present in this knighting ceremony, too. Jaime is cut through his plain white tunic, leaving a bloody mark on his clothing identical to the blood of a maiden on a white sheet.

We can also look to Barbrey Dustin for the significance of a bloody sword used this way:

Brandon was never shy about taking what he wanted. I am old now, a dried-up thing, too long a widow, but I still remember the look of my maiden’s blood on his cock the night he claimed me. I think Brandon liked the sight as well. A bloody sword is a beautiful thing, yes. It hurt, but it was a sweet pain. (ADWD The Turncloak)

Like Brandon with Barbrey, we have Arthur Dayne bloodying his sword on Jaime. For his part, Jaime “never felt it,” because of the significance of the moment—not unlike Barbrey, who says it was a “sweet pain.”

Finally, we have the significance of deflowering as representative of the transition to adulthood.

Sex is frequently described as one marker of the transition from boyhood to manhood:

His sweet innocent Tysha had been a lie start to finish, only a whore his brother Jaime had hired to make him a man. (ACOK Tyrion VII)

For Sansa, we see that her blood, as well as the image of the bloody sheet, marks her transition from girlhood to womanhood when she wakes in a bloody bed after “flowering” —a term notable for the implication that she can now be deflowered.

The blood is the seal of your womanhood. (ACOK Sansa IV)

Unpacking the reasons why a girl would ascend to womanhood with a natural process, and not an action, while a boy’s ascension to manhood would be an act would be a whole other issue, but it’s significant here that both situations result in the “bloody sheet,” whether it be Sansa’s flowering, a maiden’s deflowering, or Jaime’s knighting with the blood welling up through his white tunic.

The loss of innocence and skipping manhood

Part of this relationship with Jaime and Arthur is tragic: let’s not forget that Jaime is knighted and then subsequently is elevated to the Kingsguard both at fifteen, after having been entering tourneys and melees at thirteen. While he was clearly capable, there is something tragic about his youth here: this is someone who was clearly barely out of childhood being thrust directly into an adult role without any of the preparation required.

Consider how Jaime thinks of this transformation:

A boy knelt; a knight rose.

He’s skipped over manhood here—he’s gone directly from boy to knight. Soon after this, he will enter the Kingsguard and be expected to take a vow of chastity and forsake his familial ties in service to the king.

Consider a similarly young man—Jon Snow—considering a future in a similarly chaste and isolated role, and the difference in his mentorship here. Benjen warns him that he is too young to understand what he is entering, and tries to insist Jon live more of his life—to become a man first, and then a Man of the Watch:

Uncle Benjen studied his face carefully. “The Wall is a hard place for a boy, Jon.” “I am almost a man grown,” Jon protested. “I will turn fifteen on my next name day, and Maester Luwin says bastards grow up faster than other children.” “That’s true enough,” Benjen said with a downward twist of his mouth. He took Jon’s cup from the table, filled it fresh from a nearby pitcher, and drank down a long swallow. … “You don’t know what you’re asking, Jon. The Night’s Watch is a sworn brotherhood. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons. Our wife is duty. Our mistress is honor.” “A bastard can have honor too,” Jon said. “I am ready to swear your oath.” “You are a boy of fourteen,” Benjen said. “Not a man, not yet. Until you have known a woman, you cannot understand what you would be giving up.” “I don’t care about that!” Jon said hotly. “You might, if you knew what it meant,” Benjen said. “If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eager to pay the price, son.” Jon felt anger rise inside him. “I’m not your son!” Benjen Stark stood up. “More’s the pity.” He put a hand on Jon’s shoulder. “Come back to me after you’ve fathered a few bastards of your own, and we’ll see how you feel.” (AGOT Jon I)

Benjen fails to convince Jon, of course, but he tries to warn Jon of this experience, of the tragedy of growing up too suddenly.

Jaime receives no such warning, especially not from Ser Arthur Dayne; instead, Dayne coldly acknowledges that “all knights must bleed,” even those who are fifteen.

This too is a common theme with this loss of virginity, especially in connection with a sudden ascension to power. At the same age Jaime was entering and winning melees against grown men, Daenerys Targaryen was losing her virginity to Khal Drogo and cementing her role as khaleesi. With her, the shock of her young age is much more clear, and GRRM makes it much more clear, closing a chapter with these haunting words:

They were on the far side of the Dothraki sea when Jhiqui brushed the soft swell of Dany’s stomach with her fingers and said, “Khaleesi, you are with child.” “I know,” Dany told her. It was her fourteenth name day. (AGOT Daenerys III)

However, she’s in a similar situation as Jaime. Whereas Jaime’s deflowering was metaphorical as he bypassed manhood and ascended from boyhood to knighthood, Dany’s deflowering is literal—with all associated horrors—as she ascends suddenly from girlhood to the role of khaleesi.

Like Jaime, this is tragic, and we shouldn’t forget that it should not be the responsibility of one so young to bear the weight of a khalasar, of her blood and heritage, and of her for a lost people. Like with Jaime, whose childhood becomes increasingly sad the more we learn of its nonexistence and corruption, we should not forget to mourn Dany’s age and loss of childhood even when we cheer her successes.

The Kingsguard White

As an aside: especially since Jaime and Arthur enter the Kingsguard later, we can also imagine the bloody white Kingsguard cloak, another even better analogue for the bloody sheet of a deflowered maiden. This image appears in a major way elsewhere when Sandor visits Sansa at night and leaves behind his bloody Kingsguard cloak.

Since the Kingsguard are expected to hold to their vow of chastity, we can see the bloodying of the Kingsguard cloak to be as much a deflowering as the bloodying of the white sheet on wedding night. For the Kingsguard, who share the same notion of chastity-as-purity as a virginal maiden, this deflowering can almost be seen as identical: it is the loss of innocence, chastity, and purity all in one.

Consider the circumstances that lead one to bloody the Kingsguard cloak, however: simply the act of killing, an act which is expected and demanded of the Kingsguard from the moment of their initiation.

Killing is the realm of knights, as Sandor points out to Sansa:

“Just as if I was one of those true knights you love so well, yes. What do you think a knight is for, girl? You think it’s all taking favors from ladies and looking fine in gold plate? Knights are for killing.” (ACOK Sansa IV)

So it is no surprise that Jaime’s deflowering—and loss of innocence—comes with his ascension from boyhood to knighthood.

A boy knelt; a knight rose.

However, it is therefore ironic that all Kingsguard are expected to be knights, and knights are meant for killing, and yet killing results in the red blood spatter on the white Kingsguard cloak, a symbol of their metaphorical virginal purity and chastity lost.

Here, then, we see that the bloody white cloak, when placed in comparison to the bloody sheet of the maiden’s wedding bed, illustrates the inherent contradiction of the Kingsguard.

In this scene with Jaime and Arthur, we see that this begins from the moment of knighthood: Arthur initiates Jaime into a world where “all knights must bleed.”

The myth of Maidenhood (and it’s significance)

I do want to add a disclaimer that I know (and we should all know in this century) that the concept of a virgin bleeding when she loses her virginity is pretty much a myth, and that if there is blood with penetration it has nothing to do with the “virginal” nature of the woman and rather more to do with arousal or other circumstances.

GRRM includes a passage, eventually, that seems to hint that even in Westeros, this is unofficially understood to be a myth, even as the practice of “examining” to prove the maidenhood of those marrying the king is still carried out, and even as the “bloody sheet” of the wedding night is still trotted out to appease family and tradition.

“Did you chance to see the marriage bed the morning after?” Cersei asked. “Did she bleed?” “No sheet was shown, Your Grace.”A pity. Still, the absence of a bloody sheet meant little, by itself. Common peasant girls bled like pigs upon their wedding nights, she had heard, but that was less true of highborn maids like Margaery Tyrell. A lord’s daughter was more like to give her maidenhead to a horse than a husband, it was said, and Margaery had been riding since she was old enough to walk. (AFFC Cersei VI)

Cersei, at least, has an understanding that the “maidenhead,” and perhaps even “maidenhood” does not actually work the way that is believed, although this even is a poor excuse for an explanation because it still allows for the existence of the myth elsewhere, and for allowing the idea that the “maidenhead” will bleed, only not in the ways that are alleged.

Since this concept of the virgin bleeding is really an outdated myth with little real-life relevance and yet is foregrounded so often in the story, I tend to imagine that GRRM has included and highlighted the concept so frequently because there is some non-literal importance to the idea or the symbols it offers.

For one, it’s one way to being the ever-present blood motif to yet another relationship, which I think is probably the key point here. Blood is a huge motif in ASOIAF; it appears in many different contexts with many layered meanings. There’s blood sacrifice, blood magic, blood heritage, blood ties, blood oaths, bloody weirwood sap, bloody weddings, blood sausage, blood and fire, black blood, etc etc. Being able to add blood into the wedding rite offers beneficial symbolic opportunities.

In that vein, highlighting the concept of “virgins bleeding” allows for a lot of the comparisons between swords and penises I’ve mentioned above which I assume are thematically central because of the penetration of Azor Ahai and Nissa Nissa.

Arthur Dayne

The one remaining notion here is that which I began to think about this scene with.

While Jaime spends so much of his storyline unpacking what this means for him, I wonder what this interaction says about Ser Arthur Dayne, who played this role in Jaime’s life?

If it’s about devotion and oaths, what does this deflowering say about Dayne’s relationship to Jaime’s relationship with oaths? If it’s about innocence, what does this say about Dayne’s relationship to Jaime’s innocence? If it’s about sex, what does this say about Dayne’s relationship to sex?

What does it mean for Dayne’s character that he’s the one who metaphorically took Jaime’s innocence here?

Or, alternatively, perhaps this says something about Dayne more directly. “All knights must bleed” and “blood is the seal of our devotion” may be true in the grander sense of Westerosi culture, but they’re hardly normal things to say. Does this say something about Dayne’s attitude specifically?

Should we be seeing this as Dayne personally being somewhat responsible for Jaime’s loss of innocence? Should we be seeing this act of metaphorical penetration as a power dynamic which Dayne is specifically enforcing?

[agentrouka-blog]

Do you think Sansa would mind that Robb disinherited her? I haven’t read all the books, but I recently saw a Sansa’ quote that she never thought to have a claim

Well, he didn't disinherit her. He placed Jon ahead of her in the line of succession in order to foil the Lannister plan of claiming Winterfell through her.

Ultimately, I think this move would hurt Sansa far less than the knowledge that he could have traded for her but chose not to. Though I doubt GRRM will take the time to explore that. Sansa connects no personal ambition to her claim, though she grows to connect it to her sense of home and belonging and return.

Sansa always had a place in the line of succession. The quote you refer to highlights how unlikely she considered it to become relevant:

But she had not forgotten his words, either. The heir to Winterfell, she would think as she lay abed at night. It's your claim they mean to wed. Sansa had grown up with three brothers. She never thought to have a claim, but with Bran and Rickon dead . . . It doesn't matter, there's still Robb, he's a man grown now, and soon he'll wed and have a son. Anyway, Willas Tyrell will have Highgarden, what would he want with Winterfell? (ASOS, Sansa II)

Later, she is well aware of what this claim means for her. It makes her a target of other people's ambitions.

Tyrell or Lannister, it makes no matter, it's not me they want, only my claim. (ASOS, Sansa III)

At least I am safe here. Joffrey is dead, he cannot hurt me anymore, and I am only a bastard girl now. Alayne Stone has no husband and no claim. And her aunt would soon be here as well. The long nightmare of King's Landing was behind her, and her mockery of a marriage as well. She could make herself a new home here, just as Petyr said. [...] The thought made Sansa weary. All she knew of Robert Arryn was that he was a little boy, and sickly. It is not me she wants her son to marry, it is my claim. No one will ever marry me for love. But lying came easy to her now.  (ASOS, Sansa VI)

GRRM begins the next chapter by having Sansa rebuild the entire castle from memory using snow. Which is pretty heavy-handed symbolism that depicts - without spelling it out - a growing sense of identification with her claim, with the role of bearing the legacy of House Stark and Winterfell. It is not ambition so much a responsibility and personal attachment that guides her.

The next books culminates with a re-emergance of her claim's importance:

 Jon Arryn's bannermen will never love me, nor our silly, shaking Robert, but they will love their Young Falcon . . . and when they come together for his wedding, and you come out with your long auburn hair, clad in a maiden's cloak of white and grey with a direwolf emblazoned on the back . . . why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright. So those are your gifts from me, my sweet Sansa . . . Harry, the Eyrie, and Winterfell. That's worth another kiss now, don't you think?" (AFFC, Alayne II)

Regardless of the actual sincerity of this plan on Littlefinger's part, we are painted a credible image of what Sansa's claim means politically, and she accepts this function of her claim.

To find out that this claim is removed from her would always be ambiguous and depend on context. If she is displaced by Bran and Rickon, it means her beloved brothers are alive. She would be jubilant. If she is displaced by Jon Snow, she may feel more conflicted in knowing her brother Robb disposed of her relevance in this way and how her mother would have felt about it. This might also play into initial concerns on her part how Jon will deal with the competiton that her claim presents in a world where bastardy carries social stigma. It may well put her in danger from other people's politics again.

That is IF Robb's will even becomes public knowledge. GRRM may well keep its impact focused on what it means to Jon in tandem with the reveal of his parentage - giving him two optional identities to privately choose from that cancel out each other.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Playing pretend.

Is something he always found himself doing it... for a very long time.

Since his childhood to the now present days... From imagining how his father's reaction would be to see him using his quirk like he wanted, to imagining the most pathetic thing he never thought he would be doing it.

"If we have one boy I'm going to put his name as Natsuo." He mumbled while you snorted.

"What about a girl?"

"Then it's your choice." He smirked at you, loving how your giggles echoed in the shifty apartment you both could afford.

"What if we have two boys? Or even two girls?" You sat on his lap as he immediately grabbed on your thighs, sighing on your neck and nuzzling on it like a cat.

"Then we choose one each. If we have two girls I'm calling her Tamari-"

"Heck no." You growled and he couldn't help but snicker.

"Why not doll?"

"Is a ugly name, no way one of my daughters is having that shit as a name. Have a bit of pity to your own blood dammit-" you shrieked in laughter when he just picked you up and threw you on your back with a evil cackle.

No way you guys would have kids... how could you? He was a assassin, a category B villain who was nothing but a walking almost dead burnt man... he could and would understand if you left him, but he knew how stubborn you were. You loved him, and just wouldn't walk out... but still, it didn't hurt to dream right?

It didn't hurt or cost anything to just play pretend on imagining silly things like that...

It wasn't just about kids... it was practically everything.

"On our honeymoon, I would like to go to somewhere nice." You whispered in the night as he cracked his eyes open to stare down at you, lying on his chest, mindfully of the staples and scars adorned on it.

"... Italy sounds nice. I heard there is a carnival there." He muttered, his voice rough and raspy due to sleep deprivation and the mission he had to go earlier.

"Sounds nice, what about France? Paris is the city of love right?"

"I think is the city of lights." He commented cheerily before chuckling at your scoff.

"You got my point... we could go both to Italy and France... grab some munchies in there-"

"Ooh like a croissant?" He mimicked the French like sound and you grimace at it before slapping his chest as he once again laughed.

With what money could you both go? Better yet, how would he even fucking leave Japan by being a wanted criminal? Is just wasn't ever possible.

But still

It didn't hurt to dream, right? It didn't hurt to play pretend.

"The cake batter has to be a vanilla one!" You argued with him as he rolled his eyes at the table you were both in.

"Too classic. Have a bit more of taste doll-"

"Oh fuck you! You said it wasn't a good idea to have a chocolate cake on our wedding!" You pointed a finger at him as he shivered.

"Because it's fucking nauseous. I want to enjoy my own fucking wedding cake-"

"It's not yours-"

"Fine fine, our cake." He rolled his eyes, a silence glare between you both before you started to giggle at how ridiculous yet sweet discussion you were both in... your happiness was contagious as he couldn't help but chuckle at it as well.

It's not possible. He wouldn't put you through that type of misery to be married with a todoroki... he just couldn't.

None of you guys dreams were possible due to his fucked up actions....

"... I want our kids to meet their grandma, uncle and aunt." He commented once in the night as you turned around to smile at him... knowing what he was getting into.

"Bet Natsuo would spoil the hell out of them." You didn't knew none of sibling nor never met his mother... but he talked about it.

Dream it about it.

"Definitely. Fuyumi would try to teach some kids shit... while mother would sing them old songs and sneak some money or a snack behind our freacking backs." He chuckled sadly, staring up at the ceiling, blood starting to come out of his eyes as you sat up to brush them away without a hint of disgust.

"Our son would be pretty much like a brat like yourself them... and the girl would be a daddy's girl." You whispered, carresing his hair as he blinked... it hurt, but it was muscle memory to blink away the tears.

"Yeah... imagine if we had twins though-"

"You shut your damn mouth touya." You growled jokingly as he snickered.

He also knew you had the mindful to know neither of your little dreams or imaginary scenarios would never actually happen... but you still humored him onto it... both of you knowing it wasn't ever possible to have that kind of future by how far be is going with his path... but deep down... he knew you had a bit of hope and wanting for all of these... marriage, trips, honeymoon... kids... he knew you wanted that... because deep down he also wanted that.

But again.

This was all playing pretend.

Because it would enever happen.

[countrymusiclover]

15 - The Handmaiden’s Admirer

Part 16

The Last Velaryon

Tag list @rise-my-angel @cdragons @kmc1989

Kings Landing - A few months later

Tyrion’s pov

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I climbed out of the bed seeing that one of the servants had slipped underneath my chamber door. Picking up the envelope I tore it open seeing a Lannister seal attached to it. “This isn’t Haelesa’s handwriting meaning it’s Chez.” I muttered sitting down on the edge of the bed before I read quietly to myself.

“Dear Tyrion,

I must seal this letter to appear that it is Haelesa writing to you but as you’ve probably already figured out it is not. Your brother has been placed inside a cell and we remain in one of the camps tents per the young wolf’s request. My best friend won’t admit it but she clearly has feelings for him. I haven’t spoken to her about us yet. I wish I could talk about our relationship truly considering we only were together until Jaime led the Lannister army into battle. Anyway you should know I miss you, my lion.”

yours, Chezney”

Closing the paper in my hands I stared silently at it wishing she was here. My father and sister could never know about these letters for they would go after her. Father already didn’t like me and he would say I was discraing the family name if I married someone below my station a second time. If we were lucky Chezney and I could marry once the war was won for good.

Sitting in the small council room we had finally received a letter from Robb Stark’s camp and my sister took the paper from our cousin reading it aloud for all. “From this time until the end of time we are not part of your realm but a free and independent kingdom of the North” - he has more spirit then his father I’ll give him that.” She tore the paper into four separate pieces.

“You’ve perfected the art of tearing up papers. We can give him his father’s bones back as a show of good faith.”

My sister eyed our cousin. “You’ll give the Stark’s our reply, cousin.

He nodded, being escorted out of the room. “I will, your Grace.”

“At the very least we should be grateful that our brother and his wife are still alive and that the Stark boy hasn’t taken their heads.”

She rolled her eyes in my direction. “Oh shut up. The only thing I want from your mouth is a plan on how we can get our brother back and that ridiculous Velaryon girl father forced him to wed.”

“You can’t blame our father for your misery when he is unaware of how close you and Jaime really are.” Leaning back in my chair I could speak the truth that only a small handful of people knew about in the Seven Kingdoms.

My sister looked at me like she wanted to bitch slap me across the face at my remark. “What did I just say could come from your mouth!”

“You’re forgetting that this Velaryon girl may have more under her name than you realize.”

“What do you mean?” Cersei asked me.

“If you would let me finish you might hear my answer. The Velaryon house may almost all be gone but they are loyal to Robert’s house which you control. Her father owns a very large fleet. If you return his daughter back safely he will be very loyal to our part in the war.”

I had to bite the inside of my lip fighting my instinct to not tell her that I hoped Chezney would get my letter to tell Haelesa to write to her father and see where her father’s loyalty truly lied. “That is probably one of the smartest things you’ve ever said. Deliver what words need to be sent to a messenger who shall deliver it through a Raven.”

“I’ll leave right now to do so. I think this is the first we’ve actually plotted together.”

My sister rose from her chair leaving the room before I grumbled under her breath. “Don’t get used to it, you little monster.”

“Gods help me.” I whispered to the ceiling not wanting my friends to get hurt and for my brother to be returned home without too much blood shed on my hands.

Stark Camp - Haelesa’s pov

“Ahh. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you have improved much from the first time.” I threw my head back when we separated our bodies from the other and I hopped around pulling my trousers back up needing to hide the deed that we had just done.

Yanking my cloak on and over my shoulders I clipped it closes together looking at Jaime who was chaining himself back up since I had under done them with a key I stole from the guard who was asleep. “I wouldn't have ever guessed you were a woman who wants sex half the time.”

“Are you complaining about my services because we can stop then right here right now.” I threatened him.

Jaime held up his hands in surrender. “God's no! You've made me sitting in my own shit for months less worse.”

“If you want to keep it this way then don’t mock me with that arrogant attitude of yours. Now I best be going, Kingslayer.” Spinning around on my feet I exited the cell suddenly tumbling to the dirt when I bumped into someone and we toppled to the ground tangled up in the others limbs. “Ow! Hey, watch where you’re going - Robb?”

He rubbed his head tousling his already messy curls around seeing it was me through the thin amount of light the torches could provide. “Hael? What were you doing in there with him?”

“Um - telling him how you are going to win this war against his family of course.”

He slowly pushed himself up to stand helping me up from the harsh dirt. “Did he hurt you? Your clothing is twisted about.” His eyes scanned over my form seeing my cloak was wrinkled which wasn’t common for me and my tunic appeared to be thrown on in a haste showing more of my chest than I normally liked to.

“Oh, I’m fine. Must have gotten that way from the fall. I’m sorry I took you down with my clumsiness.” I did the best I could to fix my shirt and didn’t bother with the cloak since the wind blew slowly around us regardless.

The wolf boy nodded, staring at me for a long time before he ever spoke his next words. “Well I was actually coming to find you. I was wondering if you’d accompany me for a walk this morning. If you’ve got time of course.”

“Chezney will likely still be asleep. She’s not a morning person, so I am completely free.”

A genuine smile crossed his features. “Great then let’s go, my lady.”

We didn’t walk too far away from camp since the sun had just started rising over the mountains and providing us with warm daylight. Robb and I walked almost in sync with one another in a comfortable silence just listening to the sounds of the animals and winds of the forest. “I have been meaning to find you and speak with you about what happened between us.”

“Robb, I really don’t wish to talk about that situation anymore. You can think whatever you wish. So long as I am living in your camp I must follow the commands of the king giving me a place to stay.”

He paused in his step reaching down and grasping my right hand in his gloved one. “Haelesa, please let me apologize for not giving you the opportunity to defend yourself. You deserve to tell me your side of the story and I am here to listen to you.”

“If you wish to know, Jaime asked if I would give him one final kiss thinking he was going to be killed that night. It may have appeared as if I had started the kiss but it truly had nothing to do with it. I was simply giving him one last request.”

Robb softly nodded his head squeezing my hand that he was still holding in his larger one. “Thank you for telling me, Hael. I believe what you’re telling me.”

“Thanks for believing in me.” I sent him a smile.

“Gaomagon ao shijetra issa? - ( Do you forgive me )”

“Wha - what did you say to me?”

Robb simply answered. “You know what I said.”

“I do. But I wish to know how. I’ve only taught you the basics so how do you know how to speak Valyrian without my help?” I knitted my brows together having a guess of what he had done but I noted that his effort meant something to me.

Robb spoke in my family’s language once more and my heart skipped a few beats when he did. “Syt se past month se tolī nyke emagon spent issa spare jēda rūsīr issa bartos buried isse se valyrīha udrir bona ao lent issa. - ( For the past month and more I have spent my spare time with my head buried in the Valyrian language that you lent me.)”

“Nyke’m proud hen aōha efforts, robb. Lo īlva circumstances istan different issa families lentor olvie likely would’ve supported ao sir isse bisa vīlībāzma. Lo īlon ēdan wed - ( I’m proud of your efforts, Robb. If our circumstances were different my families house most likely would’ve supported you now in this war. If we had wed.)”

Robb shifted his feet pressing our chests against one another with our noses brushing the other taking my voice away when he had asked a question I wasn’t expecting him to. “Who says the circumstances have to be different now. Why can’t we be wed now you and I?”

Drawing my head slightly back I tried to remove my hand from his grasp but he wouldn’t allow me to gently tightening his grip waiting for a reply. “Because you’ve been betrothed off to Frey's daughter. I am the wife of Jaime Lannister and you - you have to marry her. You made a vow to her family-“

“I don’t care about my vow. I don’t want to marry the Frey girl.”

I stuttered for more words but nothing came. “Robb-“

“Will you marry me or not, Haelesa Velaryon?” I remained frozen staring into his eyes wishing I knew what to say to him asking for my hand here and now.

[charmingsoa]

✶ Where the Wild Things Are: Prequel ✶ ■ 1960s Sons of Anarchy story ■

⌃ Jax Teller/ OC x Thomas Teller/OC ⌃

Warning: Please read with caution. This story will include: drug use, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. miscarriages, sexual content, alcohol use, homicide, cursing, etc. ★ If You would like to be tagged in future updates, simply leave your username in the comments.

When I look back on my life – I often wonder if I made the right choices when I was younger. I obviously got to my place in life because of what happened all those years ago in California. Hell, there were times when I didn’t even think I would make it out alive. Growing up, my parents were very strict – almost authoritarian. My father had fought for his country in WWII and my mother was your typical housewife. The picture-perfect look was what they strived for – putting my brothers and I in whatever activities they could. There were structured rules that were drilled into our heads from day one.

No elbows on the table Respect your parents and your elders Girls and woman are to bow down to menfolk and do what they’re told. Women are forbidden to wear pants or short skirts. Girls can attend secondary school but will not be allowed to attend college. Marriage, motherhood, and the act of obeying your husband is the most important role in a woman’s life.

I distinctly remember my father telling me that if I wanted to dress like a whore, I can plant myself on the side of the highway and start making a living for myself. I spent most of my childhood bowing down to everything my father said. He instilled that fear in me as a young girl – always being on the back end of his belt or switch if I was “bad” enough. I was the only daughter – I needed to be picture perfect and like a doll. My mother would stand idly by as he inflicted his abuse on me – only doing so because he loved and cared about me.

Total bullshit if you ask me.

I guess you can say with all the structure and ruling that fell at the hand of my father – you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I rebelled. Starting at the early age of 13, I snuck out of the house to meet the boys from the wrong sides of the tracks. We would listen to the devil’s music as my father called it – getting high as kites.  My flower-patterned dress would be hiked up above my waist – my legs wrapped tightly around the guy’s hips – as they pounded into me. My mother always preached that a girl should stay pure until the night of their wedding -giving the gift of virginity to their awaiting husband.

 I lost that gift behind the First Methodist Church to a kid three grades ahead of me. It was meaningless and hurt like hell, but after that I couldn’t get enough.

By the time I hit 16, I had fucked half the senior class. I gained a reputation as the 10th grade slut – willing to do anything and anyone. Now, was this true – partially. I didn’t care if you were the ugliest guy in class – if you had a dick then I was ready and willing. I was never one to seek the guys out first. They would come to me and a couple minutes later they would be making me cum. There were rumors that I was a child prostitute – my parents were less than thrilled to hear that be brought up during a meeting with the principal.

At that point, I was pulled out of the school and sent to an all-girls catholic school about 45 minutes from home. My father made sure to drive me every day and would stay on the premises until school was over. Even if I wanted to ditch class and run away, Roy Landry was watching like a fucking hawk. I managed to mellow out a little once I graduated high school – I guess being locked up like Rapunzel will do that to people. I wasn’t allowed to go to prom – parties thrown by the other girls - I was isolated in my room. While my brothers were living their lives, I was stuck watching Walter Cronkite on the CBS Evening News with Brenda and Roy ever night.

I’m sure you’re trying to figure out where I’m going with all this information – I swear it’s important given the truth you’re about to hear.

A girl who hitchhiked all the way to California- fell in love with two brothers who despised each other – watching as they both fell into the pits of hell by creating the most dangerous motorcycle gang in Northern Cali – my story has to start somewhere, right?

[sombrashe]

this is a repost because my original blog was deleted

relationship(s) valeria x reader

content angst, murder threats, reader gets punched, graves is an asshole

note(s) this was a request from my original blog ♡ “Maybe if we could get a Valeria x reader... When Valeria gets interrogated the 141 reveals they know about y/n (Valeria's partner) and how she would react?”

Valeria sat, a smirk gracing her lips as the men in front of her stared. That merc, Graves she thinks, is inches from her ear.

“We just want Hassan, Valeria.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, “And what if I don’t give a fuck about what you want?”

She’s showing her teeth as she grins at him, their noses brushing against each other. He smiles at this reaction.

“Well, either you give us the information we want or we’re going to have an innocent casualty on our hands.”

For the first time she’s confused, why would she care about some random civilian?

“Boys.”

It’s all he has to say before the Scottish one disappears out the front of the crate. Her arms are crossed as they lead a bagged someone inside. She doesn’t have to wait to know who it is. She knows that wedding band anywhere. Her head is colliding with Graves’s face and she splits open his nose.

“I’ll fucking kill you.”

She’s up but is being grabbed back by Alejandro. He has his hand on the back of her neck and her arm is shoved out to the side to keep her from moving. She can only watch as that idiot Soap removed the burlap bag around your head. She watches your eyes fill with terror at the realization you were alone in a room with 6 military men. You looked so tiny right now and it crushed her heart.

“You’re all dead men walking if you don’t let them go.”

Her teeth are stuck together as she talks, anger ripping her apart. Your eyes flick to hers and she watches as you tense. You go to move for her when you’re gripped by the back of your shirt. You freeze and she watches hopelessly as tears fill your eyes. You think you’re going to die.

“Malditos idiotas, creen que los vas a matar.”

Alejandro seems to notice your fear and gestures with his head toward the rest of his team. The older brit takes notice and speaks up.

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to hurt you. So long as we get what we need from El Sin Nombre here.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Graves’ anger is radiating off of him as he stomps up to you and you have to get on the tips of your toes. He has your shirt in a bunch in his fist and a gun to the side of your throat. Your tears finally start coming down now and you have to fight back sobs. He looks behind him at the struggling Valeria and gives her a sick grin.

“Give me what I want and they’re free to go, fuck with me and I blow their spinal cord all over these walls.”

You hiccup as you squeeze your hands into fists. You attempt to calm yourself, not just for yourself but for Valeria. Your eyes darken as you look into the man’s blue ones.

“You do that and you get nothing, coward.”

His fist is connecting with your cheek so fast that you have no time to process the connection. You’re on the floor spitting out a tooth as you hear yelling above you. The mixture of accents all collide in your head and Alejandro must have taken pity because Valeria’s arms were scooping you up in an instant.

“Lovely, hey… look at me. Let me see your pupils.”

Her voice is soft against the sea of voices and you struggle to do as you’re told. You’ve never been hit before, the people of Las Almas knew better than to lay a finger on you. You’re dazed but overall okay, no concussion and she’s relieved.

“I’ll tell you whatever you need to know, just take them home.”

Her voice is stern and she’s looking into your eyes. You frown and try to protest, you’ll do anything to keep her safe. She shushes you and gives you a soft kiss.

“You need to clean up, lovely, can’t have you looking like a mess can we?”

You continue to frown as you’re lifted and hauled away from her. Your face is throbbing as the door is closed locking you away from one another. She’s wrapping her chain around her knuckles as the door clicks shut. Once it does she’s left throwing her first directly into Grave’s chin. His head swings to the side and a bruise in the shape of interlocked metal starts to form. She’s forcefully sat by Soap, Rodolfo being tasked to take you home safely.

“You ever lay a hand on them again and I’ll rip your balls off with my bare hands and force-feed them to you.” Her face is calm but her eyes are storming with quiet anger.

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