#hurt obi-wan (mentioned)

[darth-kote]

The Bug Collector - Codywan, (~10.5k words, rated t-m for descriptions of fear and slight violence)

𓇢𓆸

The very first time Cody lays eyes on his general, he also happens to be met with a sharp glean in his visor: a ray of light bouncing off the silk of a spider's web that had been set up in the tree behind the Jedi, similar to the way the rest of Cody's men are setting up camp just east. He's thankful his helmet's over his head so his darting eyes don't act as a dead giveaway to his distraction. First impressions last, the voice of Alpha reminds him, causing him to straighten his back and stand at attention. "CT-2224, Sir." He needs to be good at this, to make his general happy. He doesn't want to think about what Nala Se might do to him if he isn't up to her standards. "Reporting for duty. The rest of the men are unloading the weaponry and setting our post." He maintains his posture, and his eyes never leave the spider for long. That is until his Jedi turns around to face him.

"Ah, good." The man before him had seemed smaller to Cody before; with a brown cloak draped over his figure, he'd been almost formless. But now, the hood has been pushed back, revealing a full head of hair the color of a... well, Cody didn't know what to compare it to. It was unlike any clone Cody had met; he imagined a wild beast would be proud to don the mane. It's like gold and blood and iron. His eyes, oppositely, are like pools – not raging waves, but crystal clear, calm pools. "I've been awaiting your arrival." Cody is brought back to the moment by a kind smile, the sort that has only ever been offered by his little brothers when they wanted his attention. "It's good to meet you, eh.."

"CT-2224." He reminds his general.

And there it is again, that smile. Cody hadn't said anything to earn that, and the sense of confusion must somehow become apparent to his Jedi, as he explains. "I remember the number the Kaminoans gave you, yes. But is there something else you'd like to be called?" Cody understands the prior hesitation now, and he feels like a reject clone for being so slow to compute. Now, though, he is left torn between the fear Nala Se has instilled in him and the Jedi's magnetic draw. It feels like a hand has been extended toward him even though they are still separated by meters. The spider still rests, fat, in its web, and Cody is relieved.

Cody swallows, tipping his chin down in contemplation. He knows the Jedi has no facial features to go by - only his body language, which he is mostly thankful for. The name Cody, Kote... it is something only his brothers call him by, and never within earshot of an outsider. He isn't sure if he should trust the Jedi general so quickly, especially with something so close to his heart. But he figures that if he is blindly willing to die for the man, he'd better kriffing know his name first. He deserves a proper prayer said for him when if he dies, at least. "Cody."

Now, the Jedi's face contorts with a wide, toothy grin. "Beautiful. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Cody." The name rolls off his tongue like it's the most natural thing, and it causes something inside the clone's gut to quiver. He's used to the number assigned to him, the awkwardness and mismatch he feels in his bones when someone uses it in conversation – like his body knows the label is a restriction. It feels like what he imagines a restraining bolt to feel like on a droid, intrusive and cold. "Obi-Wan Kenobi," he says and holds out his hand.

Cody gathers the sing-song to be the Jedi's name, and he grasps the held-out extremity without hesitation. He smiles back at the man despite the expression's lack of reception, feeling welcome in every sense of the word.

𓆙

Cody's gut instinct had been right. Obi-Wan has proven himself quite trustworthy to the clones and to Cody himself. He's been the general's right hand for just short of one standard year now, and the battles they've fought together have been hard on both of them. Cody has seen many brothers come and go, just as Obi-Wan has witnessed more Jedi fall than he ever brings up in conversation with Cody. They've deliquesced into a comfortable dynamic nurtured by long meetings in each other's quarters, shared laughter in the depths of hyperspace, and acts of utter selflessness.

Obi-Wan prays over the bodies of Kote's brothers, entertains their questions about his jetii lifestyle, and even encourages them to create a culture of their own. All of this proves he sees them as equals – as living beings that are connected to the Force despite what anyone else might try to have them believe. He once told Cody, to his face and without a drop of hesitation, that he deserves to be humanized. It shouldn't have kept him awake as long as it had the night he'd heard it... but he'd be lying if he said it didn't gain the Jedi his utmost respect. Of course, the Jedi treats just about every living thing with complete care, which Cody never forgets after getting the shab off Geonosis.

"No, no. Sir," He says disapprovingly, helmet cradled in his arm as he enters Obi-Wan's quarters to restrategize for the next campaign. A heavily fortified glass container sits atop the general's desk, and the Jedi is in front of it, watching the contents squirm and thrash intently. Cody chuckles dryly, then, "Tell me I'm dreaming. It's just a... bad dream." He carries on talking to himself, trying to soothe the pit of anxiety that's starting to form in his chest. He's never mentioned his fear of bugs outright; it's pathetic that the Republic's "finest clone" could have a fear as maladaptive as his. Besides, blasters usually made them easier to deal with. The worst is when they (the bugs) come into his territory.

"Not a dream, Cody," Obi-Wan replies, causing a new wave of worry to wash over the clone from head to toe. What if it gets out? What if it bites him? Or worse, his jetii or brothers?

"Don't let your worries get the best of you." Kenobi turns around in his chair, and Cody can see his hair and beard aren't as well-groomed as they might typically be in the war room or when he prepares to speak to the Council. In no way is he a mess (Cody doubts that's even possible.), but he is in a more defenseless state than Cody has ever seen. The marshal commander can tell from the stray flame-like hairs and the verging-on-bloodshot eyes that his Jedi has been sitting over the desk for some time. "This," he motions back to the jar behind him, "is one of the worms used by the Geonosian Queen to... force her will upon her people. I'm sure that if we can return it to Coruscant, research could be done to reverse its effects."

Cody is now squatting low near the wall, his eyes going back and forth between Obi-Wan and the grotesque being beside him. "There's not much difference between us and them, you know." The Jedi's words catch Cody off guard. Sometimes, the general has a way of knowing exactly where his commander's thoughts are. He's heard, time and time again, that the Jedi don't have mind-reading abilities, but when Kenobi pulls something like this, he has a hard time not getting suspicious.

"As far as I'm concerned, we are very different from it. It crawled into... brains, Sir. I saw it, we both did. My brothers they-"

"Weren't themselves, yes." Cody watches the Jedi rise from his chair and waltz to the kettle atop his counter across the room. "I'm not saying they're harmless; nothing alive is. I would just like to have more research done on it, in case something like this happens again. This worm may be the key to similar cases in the future." Cody nods, trying to see from Obi-Wan's perspective.

They both stay quiet for a moment, the only sounds filling the bedchamber being the water starting to boil for tea and the brain worm's slimy squirming. It seems rather docile in the container, but Cody knows that if Grievous were to intercept them, the jar would surely be knocked over and the bug released. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, not wanting to think about what if. He is here, sitting safely on the floor of his general's quarters, back against the wall, armor on, his helmet less than an arm's length away if he were to need it.

"I won't let it out of my sight," Obi-Wan once again breaks his reverie, stepping closer and offering a mug of steaming liquid. Cody has tried it a couple of times, and he prefers caf's stronger bite to tea's mellow kiss, but he is glad to have something in his hands to keep him grounded – to warm his lips, which had started to tingle from the coldness of space. Cody sips it, forcing his facial muscles not to give away his disdain for the beverage, and he makes sure to thank the Jedi standing above him. "I assure you, it'll reach the capital without any of us being harmed." He says it with such conviction that Cody begins to feel the knots in his stomach unravel, just loosely. And there is a lilt in Obi-Wan's tone that causes Cody to feel warm inside, and in a distinct way that is not from the tea. He takes another sip before setting it down to grab his datapad.

Obi-Wan chuckles as Cody glues his eyes to the screen. Something about the general vowing, no matter how indirectly, to protect his brothers and himself... makes Cody feel like a pile of macerated fruit: sweet, sticky, sickly. He reminds himself that any Jedi would do the same, it isn't in their Code to stand by when tragedy strikes, after all.

"Now, then, Commander," Obi-Wan sits on the floor beside him, his datapad and tea in hand. "Let's begin."

𓆨

Cody loves being on Coruscant. It's never been where he sees his future when he's done being a soldier, but he finds it much more endearing than the vacuum he's usually surrounded by. There are people, music, literature. And since the entire planet has been terraformed into a city, there is hardly ever a bug in sight, at least not the non-sentient kind that have a way of immobilizing him in fear. Hardly.

Things reach a breaking point one day when the Commander goes for his helmet and watches a long silver centipede climb up the side and make itself at home within. He retracts his hand as if it had been burned by hot coals, and he backs away from the geometric face he's used to associating with his identity. He doesn't like the juxtaposition, the fear striking him at the thought of approaching a bucket that's protected him from so much.

Cody could admit that he hasn't always been the luckiest man, but this? It's starting to feel like the Force is toying with him.

There's no room in Cody's mind for logic now, and he can feel his heart beginning to pick up its pace. He hates how his body reacts when he sees a measly, killable bug. He wants to be courageous enough to take it outside and set it on the ground like Waxer or Trapper would, or the follow-through to put the creature out of its misery like Hardcase had demonstrated many times when they happened to be on a mission together. He's too cowardly to proceed with gentleness and too empathetic to proceed with malice. Cody sighs, keeping his eye on the helmet as he backs himself into the corner. His comm, luckily, is attached to his armor, and he needs only flick his wrist to reach out to a savior.

"Come in, General?" His breath is shallow, wary that his most minute movement could trigger the crawler to come for him. He feels sweat at the back of his neck. After a moment of static: "Obi-Wan?" It has to be him. Sure, it might be embarrassing to admit the reason for the urgency in his voice, but he couldn't tell a brother. They'd never see him the same; he is supposed to be strong so that they could be too, and he's sure he would no longer be a respectable Marshal Commander if this secret were to reach the lower ranks. Or worse, Nala Se.

An uncontrollable shiver runs down his spine, just as the voice he'd been hoping to hear crackles over the commlink, tinny but familiar. "Cody? I apologize for the delay – Jedi business," the words are so casual that the clone almost forgets his urgent business that needs tending to. "Are you there, Commander?"

Cody shakes himself and feels his muscles tense when he sees the bucket teeter as the centipede's weight shifts toward the visor. He forces himself not to take his eyes away, despite the tide of nausea that rises in his throat. "Yes. I... ran into a bit of a problem, Sir. Would you mind stopping at the barracks?" The quiver in his voice causes him to screw his eyes tightly shut, disturbed by the loss of composure. He feels pathetic and weak, and secretly wishes they were on the battlefield so he could prove that he has the mettle to withstand more than most.

Obi-Wan is silent on the other end for a moment, the ambiance of the Coruscanti streets being the only sound resounding over the speaker. "Of course. In fact, I was already headed there." Cody feels the pressure in his ribcage begin to ease just slightly. He doesn't care to ask what business Obi-Wan was originally coming to take care of; all that matters is that he's en route, and the bug would soon be removed from his space.

When his Jedi does arrive, Cody is still standing firmly in the corner. The door opens without quiet hiss, and the two men meet eyes from across the small room. Cody can see the question on his general's face – the singular cocked brow and his twitching lips are the only signals he needs. At first glance, the room looks completely typical: nothing is knocked around or broken, all of Cody's belongings are still there, and, of course, Cody himself stands unharmed. A flash of what seems like surprise enters the Jedi's eyes as he takes in the sight, as if he had been expecting much worse. "Well," Kenobi begins, a relieved chuckle in his tone, "I've certainly seen you in worse condition."

Cody tries to smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes, which are still flooded with dread. "My helmet," he points to it, hand unsteady, "get it out." It sounds desperate because it is, and he watches the Jedi's face shift into a more curious expression, thick eyebrows knitting together as he steps toward the center of the room.

Cody backs himself into the wall and watches as the Jedi carefully walks toward the overturned bucket. When he's right above it, a flicker of delight enters his eyes, and a smile dances on his lips. Of course. He nearly reaches to touch the kriffing thing but seems to remember Cody's presence because he turns to meet the clone's eyes. "Cody?"

The commander swallows hard, his throat dry and taut; he hates whatever it is in his brain that pulls such a reaction from him. "I'm terrified." His voice is breathy and nearly gone. It's an admission at its core, and Cody feels vulnerable like never before.

"That's why I'm here." The statement is matter-of-fact as though it is Obi-Wan's sole purpose to save Cody from his fear. He takes an empty jar from the counter, tilting the helmet slightly and calmly until the centipede topples over due to gravity, its legs and antennae nearly indistinguishable as they tap on the glass. As soon as it's in the jar, a lid is secured on top. "I'll release her in the garden. She'll serve us well there. Better than in here, surely." He smiles and looks through the convex glass with what seems to be admiration.

Once his curiosity has been quenched, he slips the jar into the folds of his robe and turns to face his commander again. Cody is silent. The Jedi had made it look so easy. Probably because it is easy. Cody is the outlier here, not everyone else. He is humiliated at how he'd behaved, and even more so because he still wouldn't deem his helmet safe to wear if anyone were to ask. A thorough cleaning will certainly be in order once he is alone again. He feels ashamed and frustrated. "Thank you," is all he says.

Instead of accepting the words at face value, Obi-Wan offers a hand to the man. "We all have something we're afraid of, Cody. But you mustn't let your fear rule you. It's no way to live." The words are brimming with understanding, and it makes Cody wonder what it is the Sith-slaying jetii could possibly be afraid of.

Rather than prying, he somberly takes the Jedi's hand and queries, "How do I overcome it?" He's warmed by the smile that is given in response. Obi-Wan guides Cody to sit at long last.

"You won't like what I have to say," Obi-Wan shifts his weight and crosses his arms, looking at Cody with a sliver of a challenge in his eyes. "It takes being around the things that fill you with fear to overcome them – realizing the endless possibilities in your head cannot all occur in reality. It's something we Jedi focus on heavily in our training. Allowing fear to rule encourages the Dark Side to prevail. You see, our fears can lead us to impulsivity, greed, and suffering. When we overcome them, we can make decisions with a clear mind and heart."

Cody understands. Or at least he thinks he's beginning to.

A yawn suddenly erupts from his chest, the cortisol thrumming through him. He looks around, a last defensive move, to make sure no other bugs have made their way inside somehow.

"I'll leave you to rest," the general smiles, his hair tousled handsomely. As he makes his way toward the door, just as it slides open at his suggestion, he leaves Cody with this: "If you should need my heroics again, Commander, don't hesitate." And then the room lost all its warmth, just the barracks of another sad soldier.

𐀔

Cody takes a deep breath in as he looks out over the rolling green hills and valleys of Kiros before him. The Togruta colonists, now safely out of Separatist hands, are being trained in basic combat by none other than Cody and his brothers. Whether it is by their own choice or the Republic's, the marshal commander isn't sure, but he's glad to know he won't be leaving them defenseless.

He has been on planets similar to Kiros before, practically unaltered by the people who inhabit them, although it is rare for him to have the downtime to explore his surroundings. He usually does so only to gain intel or perform recon. It's typically a strategic necessity alone. But before and after training, which finishes in the early evening, Cody finds he is free to fill his time however he chooses.

The thing is, he's never been granted this freedom before, and if he isn't careful, he might find himself standing in one spot for hours just contemplating his next move. The vacant holes in his schedule could be debilitating, but he quickly fills his time with busy work and solo missions of little actual importance.

Before any of his brothers, he rises with the star on the eastern horizon, much before their designated hours thanks to the planet's axial tilt. He's grateful to have a tent to himself when, by the second week, he doesn't stop waking in a cold sweat, the tendrils of his nightmare lingering in his mind. The ghostly sensation of some insect crawling over his skin cannot be erased from his memory.

He doesn't attempt to go back to sleep like he had done the first several nights. Why suffer with the silence and his rampant mind when there was plenty to distract him outside?

He rises from his cot and glances at the reflection of his face in the visor of his helmet as he passes it; he won't go without it, but first, caf. He taps the button on the dispenser settled atop a crate, the smell of the brewing beans making him instantly more alert.

On this particular day, he plans to trek across the river surrounding the Togruta settlement to explore the bank and nearby plains; he wants to be sure no Separatist weaponry or droids have been left behind. At least that's the make-believe errand he's assigned himself since he doesn't operate well without one.

Once his tin cup is empty, he sets it upside down to drain like he does each morning whether on Coruscant, The Negotiator, or even Kiros, apparently. He slips his bucket on, the world muffling as the last of his senses are stripped away, then steps into the foggy morning air. Training would not take place since the colonists have decided to spend the day mourning those whose lives were stolen from the galaxy not so long ago. The Jedi and the Clones agreed it was the least they could do to give them space to grieve, though the latter's opinion didn't much matter to the Republic when deciding how its property would be utilized. Fortunately, Obi-Wan's position in the Council had swayed the Chancellor's the Senate's decision to give them all a day of rest.

The clouds hang low as Cody moves through the camp, his brothers sleeping bodies all around him. It is undeniable that he feels responsible for them and assumes the role of their protector with no hesitation, but it also feels nice to know they are all safe and that his wandering off for a few hours at most would do no damage. He deserves it, though it is difficult to remember that fact at times.

Snoring and the creaky shifting of weight begin to ebb into the ambient sounds of the planet granting them fleeting sanctum from the war. Cody is thankful - if not for himself, then for his brothers and their jetii. They deserve a moment of relative peace.

As he follows the dirt path that leads outside the perimeter of the colony, he notices the birds of the planet are perched in the trees above his head, their sleepy cooing not yet turned to morning chirps. He appreciates the colors of their feathers, the purples and blues of which he had no knowledge to draw from to make a fair comparison. He allows himself to lean into the small smile blossoming over his face as he continues to walk on, the moat-like river's babbling becoming louder with each step.

When he pushes through a final stretch of overgrown grass and comes to the water's edge, he surveys his surroundings like any good soldier. The river flows quickly, splashing the banks and wetting the top of his boot, but he knows it is not strong enough to keep him from crossing. He ensures his blaster is safely secured to his person before stepping into the current.

He can feel the water pushing against the plastoid as he takes slow, steady steps, and it flows freely into his armor once the gaps above his calves and thighs are below the waterline. Despite the shocking cold, Cody grits his teeth and trudges through the lapping stream until his knees hit the opposite bank. He turns around and rests awkwardly on his backplate until most of the water has vacated his suit. He stares at the sky, the dark greens and grays beginning to bleed into a sobering yellow. He stands with the rallying of the sun.

Once firmly on his feet, he begins to search the ground for any mines or other traps possibly placed by Separatists and never removed or detonated. He goes on for a few meters, spotting nothing, which he'd expected. Dooku had taken what he came for and left. This is simply Cody's excuse to wander.

He comes to the cliff's edge, and he feels beckoned closer until he can crane his neck to see directly below. The land is ripe and green. He muses about how his stomach remains unflinching despite the drop he could take at any moment, while an arachnid or any of its peers would send chills down his spine. He stares out over the precipice longer than he'd allow if he were on a mission with his brothers. But now, as Kiros' sun lends its warmth to the dirt and animals, he removes his helmet and takes a deep breath in, savoring the crisp air as it enters his lungs unfiltered.

It's then, as his peripheral vision is filled in, that he sees a distant hunched silhouette to his right, veiled by high-growing flora and the fading morning mist. The brown cloak, down on the figure's shoulders and hanging like a crescent down its back, reveals a muss of red hair. Cody's heart leaps into his throat, wanting to call out the Jedi's name instinctively. He fights the urge and instead makes his way quietly toward where the man sits, settled on a rock beneath a shady tree with his legs crossed. He doesn't intend to surprise him – assumes it to be impossible. He is instinctively pulled toward his Jedi's presence and wishes to be nearer, by some logic he doesn't quite understand. Perhaps it's because he is one of the only people to treat his brothers and himself with any consideration.

Perhaps it has something to do with the Force. He doesn't question it, opting to blindly follow orders instead.

He leans against the trunk of the tree, the twisted bark something Cody has never seen before. But the sight he truly cares about has nothing to do with the vegetation. And the sight below the cliffs has long been forgotten.

He stares unashamedly at Obi-Wan, remembering other times he has seen the man in the same position. In most instances, Cody had walked into the general's quarters to find him on the floor, unmoving and absolutely focused. On what, he never knew, nor did he venture to ask. His facial muscles always seem relaxed when he is in this state, and the beauty of it is something Cody has never craved to disturb. Each time, he retreats to the bed or the kitchen chair as he gives the Jedi space to rouse on his own, sometimes dozing off to sleep as he waits, but prepared to work when his name is spoken in that familiar soothing timbre.

Standing here now, he takes shallow breaths, almost afraid he will give his presence away if he inhales too greedily. He feels like he's watching something private while still struggling to find the strength to look away. He wonders if Obi-Wan can feel his eyes on him, has since the first time he caught him like this. Something in Cody knows it's useless to ask, just something his ego brings up to numb the guilt of partaking in such intimate acts as watching his Jedi for a summation of hours. To convince the shame to recede, he tells himself that the purpose of his creation had been to keep an eye on the man, to protect him; for he is a key element to the Republic's agenda.

He feels a hot blade of frustration slice through him at the realization that the man leaving the camp had not been on his radar. Especially at such hours, when no one was awake to accompany him. Perhaps the nightmare hadn't been such a nuisance since it had led him to discover Obi-Wan.

A shift in movement between them catches Cody's eye, and he forces himself to look down to see the abdomen of a plump bee sticking out from the center of one of the horn-shaped flowers scattered about the meadow. Its striped orange and black coloring is like a bright ember against the bruise-hued flowers it swims in. The commander's heart rate spikes helplessly, and he freezes like he has since Geonosis.

"Breathe, dear," Obi-Wan's voice, as Cody has come accustomed to, pulls him back to the world around him and out of his mind. His eyes remain on the pollinator as it dances from flower to flower, her sistren nowhere to be seen. At least it's not an entire swarm. The voice of his Jedi, ever calm and guiding, fills Cody with a warmth no sun could compete with. Despite the wretched bug before him, he tears his attention away from where it rests to find those blue eyes piercing into him as if they were made from the same power source as the lightsaber stowed at his hip, not mere mortal cells. He sighs in relief at the sensation that washes over him.

"Come, sit with me." It isn't said in the tone he chooses on the battlefield, but Cody knows an order when he hears one. He maneuvers around the bug and its feast, not wanting to disturb it and get a stinger in his throat or temple. The thought of it dying afterward terrifies him more. The bee drifts closer to Obi-Wan, who watches Cody sit on the stone before him, ignoring the buzzing creature beside him. They are across from one another, but the Jedi is settled above him like a prince among his people, a lecturer with his students. Cody feels a surge of submission, something he is not used to. He knows Obi-Wan sees him as a worthy partner in the combat zone, but he'd have to admit how difficult it is not to feel like a shiny all over again under the other man's gaze. He glances down to study a patch of moss that has grown attached to the boulder supporting his weight.

"See, you've nearly forgotten her already," he smiles and waves his right hand toward the bee, bumbling about in the flowers. "She wants nothing from us, and neither we from her." Cody likes being grouped in with Obi-Wan. "She gets her meal, and we're able to meditate. Harmoniously." The Jedi looks around the space as if there is something Cody isn't seeing.

"Meditate, General?" The word has been used by the jetiise throughout his time around them, but it never held much meaning to Cody. "Is that what you were doing?" His mind returns to the image of Obi-Wan with that tranquil expression.

"Indeed. It's pertinent that we Jedi take the time to clear our minds and refocus. Of course, it's not just us who can practice. Anyone can benefit from quietening the mind..." He trails off like he's thinking of someone else who could use such a practice, and Cody detests the brief but unmistakable burn of jealousy he feels at not being at the forefront.

"Would you ever want to try?" It's what he'd hoped to hear, and now that it's on the table, he's quick to help himself.

Cody nods stiffly, cautious but eager not to disappoint – to be better than whoever had just been on his Jedi's mind. Ideally, traitorously, he'd like to be the only thing on the man's mind. He forces his eyes to stay steady on Obi-Wan. He focuses on the sepia speckles that adorn the jetii's cheeks and nose bridge, noticeably darkened due to the prolonged terrestrial stay. Cody blinks slowly, burning the sight into memory for when they'd return to space and the freckles would go pallid again.

"It's nothing too complex," Obi-Wan begins, his tone becoming that of a wise monk. "Start by closing your eyes." Cody appreciates the air of gentleness and straightens his back instinctively at the words of direction, eyelids clumsily falling shut, the muscles refusing to relax without a fight. Without sight, he can't help the consternation that rises to his ribcage; he only ever closes them to rest to fight the next day. He wouldn't be Marshal Commander of the Galactic Army of the Republic if that weren't the case. And Obi-Wan's recommendation for him to be in the position was enough proof for Cody.

"Perfect."

The word hangs around them for some time, and Cody's mind performs an instant reboot trying to process it. No one's ever used that word concerning him or anything he's done. He knows the Jedi - his Jedi in particular - have a way with words, and he tries to dismiss it as null and void, a mind trick to get Cody to continue complying with this so-called meditation. He inhales, a shaky effort that nearly fails.

"Keep breathing, Cody." He follows orders and exhales before taking another breath in. He tries not to wonder whether Obi-Wan's eyes are also shut, or if he is vigilantly watching his commander do as he says. Then, "Focus on the feeling of your lungs expanding and contracting without effort."

He has never attempted to zero in on something as infinitesimal as his breathing. Even when his helmet's on, the amplified sound of his new ventilation system is consistently overshadowed by what he sees through his visor.

But the trust he holds for Obi-Wan overrides all Kaminoan programming, at least momentarily, and Cody does as he's asked. He breathes in deep to the point his lungs ache beneath his muscles and bones, the dull sort of pain that reminds him he's alive, organic.

A breeze washes over the field, causing the tree's leaves to rustle like an ancient lullaby. The clone exhales as the wind tousles the short-cropped curls ornamenting his head, an unfamiliar but welcome sensation. "Feel what is here and now. The rock holding you up, the wind on your skin." Cody isn't sure, having no visual cues to confirm his suspicion, but he thinks he hears a smile in the general's words.

The thought flees as he mentally reaches out and focuses on the stone's coolness; his perfect posture falters helplessly as his mind unwinds. There's nothing but right here, in this moment with Obi-Wan, who echos this sentiment when he speaks. "There's nothing here for you to fret over, nothing to fix or fear."

Cody's eyebrows twitch as he digests what has been said. Obi-Wan doesn't rush into another teaching point and lets the man sit with the blade of his words plunged into his chest. Cody doesn't know what it means not to scan for tasks that need completing or enemies that require defeating. He feels a tightness in his chest that could rival the grip of a Sarlacc, and an unexpected wetness burns at his lashes.

He isn't sure what the tears mean, and the confusion only draws out a few more. He refuses to open his eyes, remembering the first instruction he'd been given: breathe. He parts his lips, and a breath stumbles through his airway.

As he breathes out softly, he's brought back to the moment and away from the tempest of emotions swirling within. The bee's buzzing has come to a respite, softly emanating what Cody imagines is contentment. He tenses slightly but once again goes back to what Obi-Wan was putting so much effort into teaching him.

He remembers the rock, the breeze, the Jedi before him. The bee is nearly forgotten. His shoulders sag without thinking, the scar on his face shiny with rebirth. He believes he can smell the undertones of the flora, sweet and subtle.

"You're safe. Let the things you notice pass." The discipline finally begins to ease. Obi-Wan doesn't have the same expectations the Kaminoans do, not in this time and place. "You are the only constant, Cody." The tone slips into something personal, so the marshal commander's imagination convinces him, and it compels his heart to clench. He feels it now, an anchor tethering him to this moment - an undeniable focus on the serenity of the man commanding him.

Time passes unnoticed as Cody loses himself in the exercise, a newfound clarity falling over him. The war is distant from this sliver of the galaxy, forgotten and nonexistent; it's just Cody and Obi-Wan. Not even the bee had made it over the threshold with them. He focuses for so long and hard that at some point he realizes he's aware of the Jedi's breathing pattern - the rise and fall as predictable as any moon's. He envisions their breaths being connected, flowing in through one set of lungs as quickly as it exits the other pair, a balance unspoken and natural.

Selfishly, Cody wishes he could remain in this state for the rest of time - or at least until the primary sun Kiros orbits stops burning and folds into a black hole. Logically, externally, he knows his time here is limited - his brothers, the Togruta, and millions more just like them all depended on Cody for something. They're all alright, he thinks, probably still sleeping soundly, not far away. But Cody is still new to releasing control over anything let alone everything.

"How do you know when it's time to stop?" His voice is lower than he intends, nearly breaking like back in his days as an inexperienced cadet. The only real differences now are that scar carved into the side of his face and countless fallen brothers. Hidden deep below his guts and armor is that same irrational, untrained boy.

"You can stop whenever you feel overwhelmed," Obi-Wan states gently, judgment nowhere to be found. "Open your eyes when you need to," he suggests, and Cody does so immediately. He thought it would be like waking from a rare dream and all the peace he'd started to feel would disappear into nothing. He is pleasantly surprised it's not that way at all. He feels lighter than he has in far too long; his mind flashes helplessly back to Geonosis before a deep breath comes in to tame the memory.

He offers a smile of gratitude to his general, who he now notices has a hand half-extended toward the commander's armored one. "Sir?" Had Cody cut his chances of receiving a touch by opening his eyes so quickly?

"I apologize," the jetii practically spits out the phrase, his tone making it clear how honest it is. His hand retracts to rest on his knee like when Cody first joined him. He swears he sees a rose color creep up the man's neck and cheeks as his eyes engage in a careful dance of avoidance.

No. Cody doesn't want to be avoided; he doesn't want to stumble around alone and afraid forever. He knows Obi-Wan won't try it again now that the moment has "passed." But life isn't a neatly edited holo-vid or a novel; it's a messy, complicated, painful battle at times. It requires bravery to get through - stubbornness and determination. Whatever word you choose, Cody doesn't care at this exact moment.

He breathes in and physically reaches out, bursting through the seams of everything he's ever been taught. His hand tenderly rests on the one Obi-Wan had pulled away, the latter's bare knuckles caressing the underside of Cody's gloved palm. It's the most intimate touch they've ever shared, and Cody doesn't require that it ever happen again. He feels blessed that the other man hasn't ordered him to fall back, and he isn't ready to push for more.

Instead of paying mind to the apology Obi-Wan had offered, Cody gives thanks to the man. "You have no idea how much you've done for me." He pauses, trying to find the words. He was specifically designed for war - for death and destruction. He could recite the BlasTech Industries leaflet that had been provided with his DC-15A blaster rifle instantly if someone ordered it because that made him useful. Knowing how to take down hundreds of droids in one fell swoop, how to plan and execute strategies that have earned the Republic victory after victory: these are tasks he was designed to perform well. Emotions, on the other hand, are much more gruesome.

He wants to tell Obi-Wan about the nightmares plaguing him each night or go even further and describe how he hasn't been able to truly relax since the burning red sands of Geonosis bound him to fear. He wants to tell Obi-Wan that he is the one who makes all of it more bearable. "I feel lighter," is where he settles. He nods as he says it, recognizing the truth in the statement.

An unsteady breath escapes him. His eyes are locked onto his Jedi, knowing that much of what Obi-Wan wants to say at any given time can be read through his eyes and actions. The man's face has softened again, eyebrows cocking incrementally with interest, beard twitching from the smile it works to conceal.

"Well, we could make a habit of it - together. It's helped me many times, and Anakin too, if you'll believe it. I know it's daunting when it's new, but you did so well, Cody." The clone easily follows the string of words, filled equally with attempted diversion and outright praise. He feels his flesh get warmer. His blacks are suddenly suffocating.

"I think that would be helpful," he says as he unclenches his jaw, almost afraid to let the full extent of his enthusiasm be known. He glances back down to where their hands meet. Though it may never reoccur - or perhaps for that exact reason - Cody begins to rub a small oval into the thenar muscles in his Jedi's hand. He silently hopes his general will feel the difference the next time he wields his lightsaber. He expects nothing in return; all he's received from the man has been more than enough.

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

Something feels wrong.

Cody stands under the cover of a plant he's never seen before this campaign. It towers like a spindle into the sky, the underside incandescing bright purple. There are hundreds more like it all around him, like a forest of tentacles or insectoid legs emerging from the dirt to trap him there like prey. Umbara is a planet of utter darkness other than the few bioluminescent lifeforms that have evolved with it; Cody is certainly not one of them. Luckily, the night vision built into his helmet is getting him through.

He grits his teeth and tilts his head to glance at Obi-Wan, a few meters to his right in a similar anticipatory stance. His lightsaber is disengaged to minimize foreign lighting that would give their position away. He worries about how limited the jetii's vision might be, knows his general is probably rather unperturbed by the matter. He trusts Cody not to leave him behind in the darkness, just as he would if their situations were reversed.

The rest of the men are closer to the perimeter of the capital city, ensuring no straggling Umbaran soldiers are lying in wait before they begin their assault. The general and commander follow not far behind to cover their tail. Although nothing stands out to him as he listens to his surroundings, Cody can't help the unease that rises in his chest. A deep breath enters his lungs through his ventilator, grounding himself to the present. Focus.

Obi-Wan nods in silence in the direction the rest of their men have headed, signaling that they should keep moving. Cody forces himself to let go of the last of his concerns for Waxer and his platoon; he must trust that they will see each other again on the other side of this long and treacherous battle. Instead, he brings his attention back to where the Jedi's thermal signature had just been through his visor, now another patch of darkness. His heart drops into his stomach, and a splinter of fear pricks his mind at the loss of the man.

"General?" He asks through his commlink before slowly crawling forward through the brush. The sounds of artillery fire descend upon the landscape as his men engage the enemy somewhere further north, distant but near enough Cody feels stuck.

Before he can rationally decide what to do next, an ear-splitting scream rattles through his comm and pierces deep through his armor and into his bones. He knows exactly what it is before he sees it, and the grunt of his jetii that follows right after forces Cody's legs to sprint forward to find where the man had gone. His boots sink into the gray-tinted dirt without thinking, the previous worries about all the vines and Vixus now residing in favor of being brought back to Obi-Wan, who he can hear panting in exhaustion.

Just then, he breaks into a small clearing, the shadows seeming to garner an unfathomable amount of mass. The flora here is impossible to make out, seeming like monsters a child would imagine in the darkness of their closet. The only light comes from the beast pinning his jetii to the ground. The banshee is huge, nearly covering Obi-Wan's entire body with its own. Its biological lighting is green in a way Cody despises, nothing like the lightsabers he's seen some other Jedi carry. It makes him think about the lower levels of Coruscant or a radioactive spill tainting the molecular basis of everything it touches.

Its wings are splayed out around it as if attempting to lift the general's body, but something has stopped it in its tracks. It makes snarling rabid sounds as its mandibles extend and try to shred the flesh of Kenobi's face. Cody freezes as he takes in the scene before him, and he catches sight of the general's face contorting with effort. His hair is a mess around him, sweat beading on his brow. It's now that he realizes the Jedi must be calling on the Living Force to keep the creature at bay.

Even in a moment like this, where his life is being threatened so short of notice, he is able to focus enough not to let his fear overtake him, and Cody will never stop admiring it. During the beginning of the war, he had dismissed the man as reckless, and he has kicked himself for it many times since. Now, though, he tries to take a page from the Jedi's book.

He reaches for his blaster rifle, knowing he can't leave Obi-Wan to fight the thing alone any longer. But his hand doesn't land on the metal of his weapon. It continues to swing through the empty air until returning at his hip. He nearly cries out when he feels it isn't at his side. How had it fallen and he not notice? Kriff, perhaps Nala Se should recall and retire him after all. He panics, unsure how to get the banshee to leave his Jedi besides possibly offering himself as bait.

He can hear Obi-Wan's voice, all those months ago now on Kiros, "Breathe, dear."

He isn't sure if it's just a memory surfacing organically in his time of need, or if it's the jetii influencing his mind, but he finds that he doesn't care either way. He does as the Jedi always reminds him and breathes.

There is a metallic hint to the air that enters his lungs and swirls about - different, but nothing he can't get used to if that's what's needed. There is nothing but him in this brief moment, and he is reminded by the Force that he has made it through worse than a banshee and a few shadows. Obi-Wan has survived worse, and with Cody's help, he'll survive this too.

He opens his eyes, not noticing that they'd fallen shut; he remembers a time when he'd stare at a caterpillar or another similar bug for hours when he was particularly on edge and too mortified with himself to ask someone else to handle it. He inhales through his nose; the past does not exist, only now.

He assesses his options, and wonders if he should comm for backup; he knows he won't distract his men for anything. He considers jumping on the creature's back, but he despises the idea of touching it or being carried away to be mauled and eaten alive. Then he sees it, the sheen of the banshee's light reflecting off that cool metal he's had in his hand many times thanks to his general's constant running head-on into the next problem needing to be solved. Cody has always made sure to retrieve and return it to its brandisher.

Now, he bends to wrap his hand around the saber, engaging the crystal without a second thought as he straightens his spine.

He feels a power surge through his body that not even his blaster had ever made him feel. The blue light emanates from the blade like a celestial spirit in his hands, and it causes all the shadows that had surrounded them to recede. The beast trapping Obi-Wan screeches as if its putrid heart has somehow been filled with terror for the first time. Cody chokes on empathy, imagining the beast sitting with that feeling he knows intimately well.

He steps forward, swinging the saber out in front of him, a defensive pose that he hopes will send the banshee running takes over his muscles instinctively. He's never wielded a lightsaber or any other longsword, but he's watched Obi-Wan in battle enough times to be able to imitate some of his confidence.

When the creature remains on top of the general, claws on either side of his head, Cody knows he won't be able to spare its life. He sways the sword, the sounds of it cutting the air almost as comforting as the voice of his Jedi, though not quite as sweet. He swears he feels a swell of pride surround him, choosing not to dwell on how it hadn't come from within. He raises the blade with both hands gripping the hilt, its light dancing across his features as he swings down hard and fast.

Another scream enters his ears, one of pain and regret and death. Cody can't distinguish whether the sound is from the insect or himself. The banshee's leg is sliced clean in half at the joint. Blood and gristle are cauterized by the heat of the blade - even the chosen weapon of the jetiise offers some mercy. The creature wails in presumed agony, losing its balance and falling to the side like a spider-roach sprayed with pesticides. It thrashes and its wings shake, the ordeal more than Cody's senses can handle.

He forces himself to move around it and pull his Jedi out of its reach, the lightsaber having been disengaged but still in his palm. When they're a safe distance away from the bug, Cody finally looks into his general's face. His hair is wet with sweat close to his scalp, utterly exhausted from the Force work. The commander wants nothing more than to tear his helm away from his face and nuzzle into the jetii's temple. He wants to press his lips there and sob a disorderly, chest-racking sob.

Soldiers don't do such things, though, so he settles to press a thumb into the other man's beard. It's a light touch, almost ghostly, and he wishes they were back on Kiros more than ever before.

The Jedi's eyes flicker to his saber, still resting in Cody's right hand. He notices, sitting up and holding it out to the man it belongs to. He feels a jolt of pride as he looks at it, eyes adjusting to the darkness now that the fight has concluded. But it's mixed in with a sense that he'd done something very wrong, like taking a brother's bucket and wearing it as his own.

"Thank you, Cody," his Jedi speaks quietly, his fingers latching around the marshal commander's wrist instead of the lightsaber. Cody swallows at the sensation, aware they should keep moving despite what they've just endured. He nods silently before remembering Obi-Wan's lack of sight.

"Of course," it doesn't exactly translate all of the emotions in his heart, but it does enough for now. At least he thinks so until Kenobi starts to offer him praise after praise.

"This is more than a weapon, Cody," his hand twists to tighten their grips around the helve simultaneously, "and not everyone who wields one knows when to quell their power. You're disciplined in ways the Kaminoans can't comprehend." His tone is admiring, proud. The touch, the words - Cody feels like he'll melt into the dirt below if the Jedi gives him anymore. He can hear and feel his heart pounding against his sternum like a prisoner in Citadel Station, desperate for escape.

He nods and moves his other hand to rest on top of where the two men meet at the lightsaber; it's the thanks he can't vocalize. Obi-Wan's expression is steady whereas Cody's feels unsure and stiff, and he appreciates how understood the jetii always makes him feel. No matter the layers of darkness, armor, and social conditioning (or lack thereof), he appreciates how Obi-Wan always looks at him like a person. He never looks at him like the test-tube experiment gone wrong he often feels like.

"Now, how about we join our men?" General Kenobi asks, that resilient smile creeping over his lips. "They'll be needing our expertise soon, I'm sure." It's an attempt to bring Cody's mood up, and the clone can't help the curt chuckle at the Jedi's cockiness that rears its head more than is technically appropriate for someone so dedicated to the Order. Of course, none of the clones complain; they've learned many of their favorite witticisms from the jetii, and Cody finds it endearing to hear his brothers try to replicate the general's delivery.

He stands first, then pulls Obi-Wan up with little effort since their hands are conveniently clasped together over the lightsaber, which subsequently goes back to its owner.

Both standing, Cody is overwhelmed with relief that he'd been able to do what had been needed to keep the other man alive. He almost goes down the terrible path in his mind that would make him wonder about all the things that could have gone wrong. He manages to catch himself before spiraling out of control, shaking his head and taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts.

As they slip back into the Umbaran flora, Cody follows his general's lead, his gaze firm on the nape of the other man's neck.

𓇙

The suns hang high in the sky, beating down on Cody with relentless heat. He welcomes the burn as he studies the stark shadow of his hand against the eroded stone of Obi-Wan's abode, the darkness of his fingers caked with an off-white plaster. His breathing is coming and going in a steady pattern, only because he has carefully labored it to be that way, helping to keep his mind focused on patching the cracks in the wall.

From the corner of his eye, he sees something dark scuttle a path through the harsh sand. He looks down to find a scorpion rushing by his boot, glinting like a blood-drenched jewel. He narrows his eyes against the particles floating in the wind, watches as the arthropod finds sanctuary in the crevice of a nearby boulder.

He remembers the voice of his general, all the lessons he'd been given. He's ached for that guidance for far too long, and it makes his chest tighten at the memories he's been struggling to keep oppressed since the last time they were face-to-face. Utapau. Order 66. His skull still aches in the spot where it'd been sawn open to remove his implant, his curls starting to grow back to conceal the new scar. He's not used to the silence of his own thoughts without those four haunting words underlying them. Good soldiers follow orders.

A deep breath fills his lungs; his attention is brought back to the task at hand. He fills another fissure in the wall with plaster, smoothing it with the pads of his fingers - he makes sure to be diligent with his work, having no other way to make himself useful in this place. Though things have undeniably changed, Cody can't help the yearning for their bond to return despite having no way to earn it back. He and Obi-Wan had once trusted each other blindly. Yet he had given his brothers the go-ahead to shoot him down; the rather benign nightmares about insects have been replaced with the memory of that day, and Cody knows it's deserved. He is the one who had shattered things while knowing their already-delicate nature.

He risks a glance to his right, finding Obi-Wan kneeling in the nearby shade provided by a makeshift awning, eyes closed, and muscles relaxed. He's meditating. Of course, he is. It's not quite the same as before the fall of the Order, but then again nothing is. His beard is full and a tad scraggly, not having access to the razors, mirrors, and gels he used to take advantage of, and his hair is longer than Cody's ever seen it. He swallows hard as the guilt washes over him like a wave, wondering uselessly if any of this would exist if it weren't for his weakness. He returns to his assignment on the wall, focusing on each breath entering and exiting his lungs.

During the night, the two sit in the confined kitchen of the desert home. A pot of soup simmers over a fire; it isn't a lot, but it's flavorful and comforting compared to the rations Cody's eaten practically his entire life. Their dishes rest on the table as the men sit across from each other, the winds outside audible from where they reside.

"What did I tell you?" The Jedi smiles as he listens to the sound of active weathering, bringing Cody's attention away from the grain in the wood of his spoon. He'd been focusing on trying to stay quiet so as not to disturb the nightly routine of the other man, so it takes him a second to catch up to the conversation.

"Oh," he says, his mouth falling open before closing again. "The sandstorms. Is it a nightly thing this time of year?"

"Most nights, sadly. It's a pain if the walls aren't tended to properly," he sips his soup - choosing to forgo the spoon - which is no longer scalding from the fire. Cody remembers the man's predilection for food on the colder side, and it comforts him to see that hasn't changed. "I've not had the energy recently." The jetii looks down into his bowl, an almost bashful look on his face. Cody recognizes a roundness to the man that hadn't been there during the war, a rosiness to his cheeks when he came home from the market with new fruit for Cody to try that morning. The clone has only been here for a month at most, and Cody can't deny the ease with which Obi-Wan seems to be settling into his new life. Something he can't yet say for himself.

Of course, there had been much time in between, which Cody had not been here for. He doesn't know exactly what Obi-Wan is going through or how he's dealing with it, but he's pleased to hear him laughing more than he ever did during the war. His brow furrows because he remembers thinking neither of them would be able to laugh again after everything that happened.

"Thank you for taking care of it." It's said in such a measured tone that Cody can't pretend to mishear or misinterpret it.

He jerks his chin down toward the table, "Of course, General." As soon as it slips off his tongue, he wants to throw himself into the fire their dinner is cooked on and keeps their bodies warm at night. He expects a scolding - the Empire likes dealing those out much more swiftly on the clones than the Jedi had - but one does not come.

"I don't know how many times I have to remind you to call me Ben before it sticks." A toothy grin lets Cody know he's not in too much trouble, but he digs his nails into his palm as a reminder to himself not to make the mistake again.

"It's my pleasure... to do what I can, Ben." He looks up and meets the man's eyes, that same crystal-like blue he's always known. "I want to make up for what I've done."

The jetii's eyes soften at his words, seeming to know what he means despite the lack of clarity. Cody's heart tightens as the man stands abruptly, his sand-colored robes sweeping the floor. He takes the few short steps to close the distance between them, and he's looking directly into his old commander's face. His hand comes up and the tip of his thumb traces the curve of the clone's scar from where it starts on his forehead and ends at the apple of his cheek. "Cody, none of that was in your control. You must realize that before this guilt consumes you." Obi-Wan bends so that his forehead comes to rest on Cody's, their eyes still locked until the Jedi's slip shut.

The clone can feel his hands beginning to tremble and his throat constricting. He makes fists in an attempt to calm his nerves, but it makes no difference when a tear tickles his lashes and spills over the edge.

"You've come so far," his jetii whispers, their breaths mingling in the dark. And that's all that Cody's battered mind can handle; a thunderous sound rumbles through him, a sob that's waited years to be freed. Tear after hot, burning tear rolls down the man's face, his hands still fisting into nothing at his sides. Obi-Wan covers his knuckles with his palms, reminding him that he's physically not alone. "None of this is because of you. You only did what you believed was right. I have never blamed you for anything that's happened, Cody."

The words cause a heavy weight to lift off his chest, just slightly. He's carried this shame with him for so long, it's hard to convince himself to fully forget all the pain. It'll take time, which seems alright since they have so much of it now. He'll have to meditate more on how things tend to happen for a reason, perhaps with Obi-Wan as his teacher if he'd have him. He nods against the other man, their foreheads still touching, and he breathes in through his nose as the sobs begin to calm.

No sand or scorpions would be bothering them tonight, thanks to Cody. If he has any say in it, and he does, he'll make sure to patch the walls each day so that Obi-Wan sleeps soundly each night until his rapid aging catches up with him and steals his final breath.

[tennessoui]

With the throat fic, was Palpatine's plan to have Anakin experimented on so he becomes even more dark and dangerous?

lol the throat fic i love that

anyway i kept it sort of vague but i imagine dooku was like hey. hey sidious. can i experiment on your other apprentice. cause you know i hate him and also maybe it would solve The Padawan Problem

(sidious' biggest headache on any given day is the fact that four years ago his would-be apprentice got the stupidest fucking lightest motherfucking jedi padawan in the whole galaxy who is single handedly tethering sidious' apprentice to the light and skywalker will never ever ever let him go willingly and killing him is going to be complicated and messy if he doesn't do it right because skywalker can never know he orchestrated the death of kenobi but he also can't think the separatists did it and he can't think the sith did it and it would be great if he could convince him the jedi did it but that's almost impossible, so!)

and sidious is like ? oh?

and dooku is like yes. we kidnap skywalker and do some experiments on him, maybe light torture, make him really dark, make him really dangerous

and sidious is like oh???

and dooku is like right yeah and then after just a lot of torture and experimentation cause remember, i don't like skywalker,,,,

and sidious is like right right continue

and dooku is like we bring in his padawan and he kills him himself! :D Padawan Problem solved.

and sidious is like i have no other ideas at this point on how to solve a problem like kenobi, so. fine. take skywalker. have fun with it.

[engagemythrusters]

okay okay okay.

So the truth about Anakin is that everything around him shapes him into who he is. That’s true of every person. His decisions are made based on what he thinks to be true, and what he thinks to be true is heavily influenced by Palpatine. And what isn’t influenced by Palps is directly manipulated into him. And he is likewise influenced by Obi-Wan and Padme and his past.

His choices and decisions, being based on all of these things, could easily have gone wholly different had his sphere of life been changed even in little ways. If he had talked less to Palps. If he had opened more to Obi-Wan. If Padme hadn’t been away for ten whole years. If his mother had been freed. If… well, you get the picture.

And that’s very interesting. Because, again. This is true for all of us. Little things truly do make us.

Anyway all this to say I want some small thing to change the whole story of Star Wars for a fun Anakin Is Not As Fucked Up (But Still Pretty Fucked) AU.

[sponge-eating-goblin]

Another Star Wars Show episode another successful avoidance of any even slight mention of Satine Kryze

[fanfictasia]

Shadows of Tomorrow - Chapter 85 - Ghosts of Geonosis - Wattpad

Shadows of Tomorrow Chapter 85 - Ghosts of Geonosis, a star wars fanfic | FanFiction

[lovebugism]

Shy!reader who has never had a valentine and Steve who pulls out alllll the stops to make up for this—flowers, chocolate, jewelry, candles, a nice dinner, even stuff like a teddy bear and those cheesy kid valentines

happy love day <3 — steve helps his shy gf celebrate her very first valentine's day (shy!reader, established relationship, cw for brief mentions of anxiety, 1k)

Valentine’s Day afternoon is grey and gloomy, but your beaming makes up for it. You’re smiling wide and sparkling with it the second you see Steve waiting for you in the parking lot outside your work. He’d promised to pick you up, yes, but you’re always giddy at the sight of him.

“Hey, babe,” the boy greets with his own grin, crooked and perfectly pink. 

He looks all cool, leaning against the driver’s side of his car. Pristine sneakers crossed over one another, sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, strands of cinnamon hair draping his forehead — how are you supposed to do anything but melt for him?

“Hi,” you respond in a tinier voice, walking closer to him now. You duck your chin to your chest and peer at him through your lashes, always so painfully shy.

“Did you have a good day?”

“It was alright,” you shrug and plant yourself in front of him. The deep scent of cologne staining his shirt combines with the earthy scent of impending rain. The concoction makes you dizzy. “Kept thinking about seeing you the whole time, though.”

Your confession makes the bridge of his chiseled nose scrunch. 

“Well, that makes two of us,” he quips before revealing the bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back. A small thing wrapped in pale pink tissue paper — pastel lavenders and pale baby’s breath — as pretty and delicate as you are.

You light up instantly, eyes glittering as they flit from the bushel of flowers to Steve’s proud grin. “You got me flowers?” you wonder, quiet with disbelief. You take them with a soft, trembling hand.

Steve shrugs. “‘Course I did.”

You bury your nose in the perfumed florals and flash a sheepish look over them. “No boy’s ever gotten me flowers before…”

Steve knows this. He knows you’ve never had a valentine before him — that you’ve never been with anyone the way you’ve been with him. It’s why he’s always so soft and perfectly patient with you.

“‘Cause other boys are stupid,” he says, grinning when it makes you giggle. He takes another step closer to you and smooths his warm palms over your arms. His thumbs rub gently along the outsides of your elbow. “Do you like them?”

“I love them,” you insist, smiling so wide it hurts. “They’re gonna look so pretty in my room.”

“Want me to take you home then? So you can get ready for tonight?”

Your brows pinch at his mischievous tone. “What’s tonight?”

“Dinner. I wanna take you to that fancy, new Italian place in the city.”

“Oh.” Your panic is subtle but still written all over your face. You’re not good at going out — you’re worse at trying new things. Steve’s certainly made you braver, but you’re always a little timid at heart. 

Steve knows this and assures with a soft smile, “But we don’t have to if you don’t want. It was just a suggestion.”

“I want to,” you hear yourself say.

His brows raise, visibly shocked. “You do?”

There’s something about the way he looks at you, with a glimmer in his deep brown eyes, that makes you bold. You nod once, firm and foreignly confident. “Yeah.”

Steve tries not to be too obvious about his smiling, but he wears his love for you all over his face without trying. “Then let’s go.”

—————

Rain beats heavy against the window of the candle-lit restaurant, a wild and delicate cadence. The flickering flame paints Steve’s smile golden while his eyes glow a shining amber. He tries to woo you like you’re not wearing the pretty dress he bought you — like you’re not wearing his initial in a pendant dangling between your breasts.

“You’re the Obi-Wan for me,” he jokes before taking a hearty bite of his steak. He chews through the mouthful and gestures with his fork. “You know. Like only one—”

“I get it,” you assure with a sickly sweet smile.

He’s been doing this for a better part of an hour. The Valentine’s Day crowd rushed in, and your waiter got your order wrong, and the whole thing spun you into a tizzy. Steve’s been trying to distract you from your nerves ever since. And it’s worked. Mostly.

“Well, you’re not laughing!” he retorts, playful in his solemnity. “That one was good— you gotta give me some credit.”

“It was,” you assure with a quiet nod. You don’t say it like you mean it, but more like you’re trying to appease him.

“Are you saying you can come up with a better one?” he teases.

You think for a moment, doe eyes flitting across the droplets sliding down the window beside you. Your glossed lips purse all pretty to the side with the weight of your pondering. A smile tugs slow at your lips when you turn back to him. “Obi-Wan Ke-bone-me.”

A laugh sputters from Steve’s mouth. As pure and innocent as sunshine. He nods with a proud, lopsided smile. “You’re right. That was way better.”

“I Obi-Want you tonight,” you follow, giggling still.

“You are on fire tonight, you know that?”

You laugh again, louder this time. Steve beams at the pretty sound and waits until you’ve scooped a too-big bite of pasta in your mouth to compliment you. “You’re so pretty…” he murmurs in a low, honeyed tone. His eyes sparkle with amber, warm and visibly fond.

You stop mid-chew to scowl. You’re too cute to look threatening — especially when you’ve got spare sauce dotted on the corner of your mouth. “Stop…” you scold after you’ve swallowed down the mouthful.

Steve laughs, loud and boyish. “You are!”

“You’re being too nice…” you grouse with your nose scrunched.

“I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to be nice.”

“But not this nice,” you insist, smiling despite yourself. You twirl noodles around your fork to busy your fidgeting hand. Your sheepish gaze flits from the half-empty plate to the beautiful boy in front of you. “I think you’re starting to ruin everyone else for me, Stevie…”

His chest sparkles with a warmer feeling. “Well, yeah,” he shrugs. “That was kinda the plan here, babe.”

“Was it?”

“Uh-huh,” he nods and folds his arms over the white-clothed table. He grins wide and leans in close.  His cinnamon eyes sparkle with a mixture of adoration and mischief. “You fell right into my trap.”

You smile back at him, so happy that you did.

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

I think one of my favorite things about Codywan is that it absolutely could be canon and wouldn’t disrupt the established timeline. I mean, a ship doesn’t have to be canon compliant to mean something but for me, personally, I so rarely fall for pairs that are possible that when I do it’s like, a little extra special.

And as someone who loves angst + hurt / comfort, codywan in canon would obviously be filled to the brim with both in order to maintain established canon. For example, Cody obviously isn’t in A New Hope, but with the clones accelerated aging that could easily be a sad but canon compliant reason why he’s not. Or in rebels, Rex mentions he believes Obi-Wan to be dead, and he talks about Cody as if he’s no longer around. That could be because Cody and Obi-Wan are hiding out together on Tattooine, just like the original draft of the Kenobi script.

Does this make sense? Do I think Lucasfilm would ever go for this? No. But do I think if they wanted to they could do so very, very easily and it would fit right into canon, like it always belonged? Yes.

[bruisedboys]

thinking about how anakin skywalker is so casually dominant and as a result, you best believe you’re going to become a victim of his manhandling! like, you’re crazy if you think he’s not gonna pick you up and move you around all the time and whenever he wants!! and ngl he’s a kind of bossy and a tiny bit possessive … but only because he cares about you so much it hurts, and if anything happened to you he’d literally die ok please let him be. but the best part for anakin is, you don’t even mind it. on the contrary, you seem to enjoy it. it’s bad for his ego but he can’t seem to stop!! especially when you get all giggly and breathless when he does it <3

like okay .. he’s always extra needy for kisses from you right? but he’s just not very good about manners. he’s about to leave for a meeting with the jedi council and he’s standing at the door, with his arms crossed like, “give me a kiss before I go, doll.” you raise your eyebrows at him, and say in this sweet, lilting tone, “what was that? didn’t hear you use the magic word, ani.” and he rolls his eyes all the way up into his head, presses you against the wall with a hand on your shoulder, thumb pushing into your throat. “I said, give me a kiss. please.” and you beam at him, somehow completely immune to his intimidating presence and snarky tone. “okay, loverboy,” you’ll say, and get on your tiptoes to press a sweet kiss to his mouth. and he melts!!!!! he probably asks for another one before he leaves, and ends up late to his very important meeting <3

also! as mentioned, he’s kind of … possessive? but not in a creepy way!! just like. super overprotective and very easy jealous and wants everyone to know you’re his. to the point where you’re out for drinks with him and obi-wan, and anakin’s got his arm locked around your shoulders and he’s sending death glares to anyone who so much as looks your way. and obi-wan is all, “y/n … blink twice if you need help,” and anakin glares at him too, but you only laugh and nuzzle further into anakin’s shoulder. and anakin gets this smug look on his face as he rubs your bicep <3

he even does it in his sleep too! like it’s the middle of the night and you need to use the bathroom, but first you have to pry anakin’s arm off of you where it’s locked over your ribs. like he’s literally holding you down in his sleep somehow. and when you’re washing your hands he appears in the doorway, shirtless and grumpy, “what’re you doing?” he’ll mumble sleepily. and you’re like, “um, I’m using the bathroom? what does it look like …” and he just grunts and goes, “well, hurry, please. the bed’s cold without you.” and stalks off to bed. when you slide back in with him, he doesn’t waste a second in getting his arm around you and dragging you back into his side <3

he knows he can be bossy and mean sometimes and he’s trying to be better, he is, but you’ve never once complained and you’re so so patient with him it makes him sick. he just cares okay!! and if that means he gets a little bit overbearing at times then so be it, you don’t mind!!

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

A Pirates Life For Me

Pairings: father Killian Jones x child/teen!reader

Imagine: what it would be like to be Killian Jones child

Warnings: none really, mostly fluff, and Killian Jones being the best father ever, I guess there’s some spoilers for those who haven’t watched all seasons I guess, mention of when he died, NOT proofread yet

A/N back to writing ya’ll (hopefully), thought I’d start it of easy with some headcanons, so a few other will come out too but this is the first because recently I’ve been obsessing over Killian again along with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Hunter (from tbb)

Side note half of this got deleted and couldn’t really remember what I wrote so it’s definitely not as good as the first draft

First things first you were raised on the Jolly Roger, you would most probably grow up as a pirate, and when old enough you’d help him fighting against the other pirates that would attack you at times

I’m sorry but you’re gonna have to deal with wearing dark colored clothes, he doesn’t do light color therefore neither do you at least until you’re old enough to decide for yourself what clothes you want

You’d beg Killian to buy you the biggest hat ever as you read somewhere that pirates has hats, he never bought you that hat… he did steal a tiny hat that fit you perfectly though…

He was scared to death that he would be like his own father, but don’t worry he’s both like that he’s the best and he’d never leave you like that

Your initials are written beside the wheel (you know where he wrote with his hook for Bae/Neal)

Things you carved into the ship as a kid can still be seen in the most random places

He childproofed the ship, put child locks on nearly every cabinet not knowing if it was child appropriate things in them as the crew would put their things in random places, he did not find the thought of you finding a knife, sword, or gun and accidentally hurt yourself very comforting

Adopted child, biological child, doesn’t matter he loves you the same.

Depending on when you were born you might of watched The Dark One rip the heart out of your father’s lover

One of many traumatic events

Killian values you more than anything else, if he had to choose between revenge or you, he’d always choose you, he’d do anything for you even if it meant him dying

He still knows how to say no to things though

He made a mental list in his head on things he would teach you

1. How to sail

2. How to navigate with stars

3. Sword fighting

4. How to survive on Neverland (just in case Pan decided to kidnap you or something to mess with him)

5. How to escape from Neverland

6. What plants are poisonous or not

7. Do not make deals with the dark one

And then the list goes on and on, he would want to teach you everything he knows about everything really, he just doesn’t want you to make the same mistakes he did, or to end up being a villain as he wants you to get your happy ending

Somewhere along the road you got dragged into wanting to help your father get revenge, nearly succeeded in multiple occasions, but as it turns out villains don’t really get their revenge

You once made the crew find a hook and clothes similar to Killian’s and later on that day you’d run up to Killian, hand clutching a hook and act as if you were the captain of the ship, imitating your father (with a really bad “adult” voice). He would let out a wide smile, eyes twinkling and a soft gaze as he looked down at you trying to reach the wheel. He’d eventually pick you up and let you steer the destination as he helped you turn the wheel the other way than he had set the course too. This was also the first time he taught you how to sail. Or somewhat, it wasn’t like you took much of the information in as you soon got bored and went to watch over the railing at the crashing waves.

Btw I’m tired of fics where Captain Hooks child likes Peter Pan, why because a parents ideals usually sets with the child, meaning you’d probably hate Peter Pan and Rumplestiltskin as much as your father does

He would tell you stories of his older brother and how he was a hero and he wished you’d met him, you would eventually in hell though later as you went to rescue your father so that’s fine, turns out he wasn’t the hero your father made him out to be, but that’s fine you only need one hero and that’s your dad

He would also tell you stories of his adventures, it made for quite the long entertaining tales as he tucked you into bed, kissing your forehead before continuing his story which he altered to be a bit more child friendly and a bit more dramatic

He lets you have some of his clothes when he’s going away for a long time because he knows you’ll miss him

He lets you wear his jackets/coats, you freezing he’s already put his jacket/coat over you, even if they’re too big for you , he loves how adorable you look in it as he’s reminded that you’re still just a child and he doesn’t want you to grow up

He’d try to teach you how to paint, might succeed might not still he loves the bonding time he’s good at painting in any universe you can’t tell me otherwise

He hates seeing you hurt

If you get hurt on a raid he’d made sure whoever hurt you would suffer, you want him kiss the injury better, he’d do so in a heartbeat even if it meant his reputation would falter slightly

He starts dating someone else (Emma) he’d make sure that person treated you right, if not he’d dump said person

If he founds out you like someone he wouldn’t be overprotective, he’d still be protective but he’d mostly be supportive. He’d tease you about it until it became annoying, he’d encourage you and give you advice (even if most of his advice failed)and if it failed he’d be there to comfort you through it all

You’d blame Emma for turning Killian into a dark one and you’d blame Emma for Killian’s death

When you rescued Killian from hell he promised you he’d never die again if not of old age and that he’d never take of his good luck ring ever again as you thought he jinxed it by giving it to Emma

You were glad for his sake when he married Emma just because you saw your father happy with someone else again and not just grieving and seeking revenge for his ex lover

He hugs surprisingly great, he’s like your human sized pirate teddy bear

He misses the times when you would come into his room late at night after a nightmare and crawl under the covers and cuddle close to him, not because you had a nightmare but because he liked that you knew you would always be safe with him

He would hate that you’d have nightmares after his death and you no matter what age you are in would sometimes go into his room to make sure he was still alive and maybe even sleep beside him, he’d wake up to you sprawled out over the whole bed clutching his side tightly as if you were afraid he’d disappear

Will make sure you get your happy ending

He’s just father material it’s as simple as that (just look at Nook, love Nook though but original Hook is the best)

[ghulehthezombiequeen]

Let you break my heart again - Anakin x Jedi reader

masterlist.

Author’s note: hi. so uh. yeah I got a little silly and decided to write angst again. and wrote more than I was aiming for but that’s okay LMAO— Also omg THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON MY SWISS FIC?? you’re the best <3 Other things to note: Revenge of the Sith era Anakin but Anakin and Padmé aren’t married (they’re courting/dating), reader is a Jedi and has had a crush on Anakin since like the beginning of time /j, reader is majorly jealous of Padmé

Warnings: ANGST, unrequited love, hurt/comfort, Anakin uses a derogatory word for droids, no pronouns used for reader

Word count: 2114 words

Propped against a wall, you saw Anakin enter the Jedi temple, looking a bit disheveled. But  you knew he had just returned from a mission with Obi-Wan, so maybe it went terribly wrong, maybe it went really well. 

You attempted to approach him, but Padmé had already beat you to it, like she always did. You felt a pang in your heart as you saw him hug her, longing to be in her place. Sadly, you knew it would never happen, with the looks they’d exchange with each other when they thought no one was watching. But you were. Finally, after what had seemed like forever, Padmé left to do her duties. You took this opportunity and rushed to him, your heart skipping a beat. “Hey.. how did it go?” You asked with a soft smile. Anakin nodded at you, then sighed. “Fine, I guess.. We didn’t really do much, just killed a bunch of clankers.” You caught yourself before making a face at him for using the derogatory word for droids; but you understood why he chose that word. 

“Well.. I mean, at least it was.. good practice?” You giggled a bit, trying to cheer him up. 

Anakin forced a light chuckle. “Yeah..” He said, looking off to the side, his mind somewhere else. You gave him a soft look. “Hey.. everything okay over there?” You asked kindly, your heart skipping a beat as he looked back at you. “No.. not really…” he admitted with a sigh. He seemed like he wanted to say more, but couldn’t find the right words. “..thanks for asking, though.” He added sincerely. 

You furrowed your brows and studied his expression. “Hey, uh… do you want to go somewhere else and talk about it, perhaps?” You offered. 

He thought for a moment and then nodded slowly. “Yeah, I could use… someone to talk to...” 

“Alright, then. Wanna head to the library? It’s usually deserted at this hour..” You smiled at him, and Anakin perked up a little at the mention of it. “Yeah, actually… that’d be great.. there’s some new data I’ve been meaning to catch up on as well.” 

You two slowly made your way to the library, finding a table in the very back. Anakin sat down on one of the old worn out chairs, staring into the oblivion. “I feel… different..” He mumbled, almost to himself. “What’s wrong?” You sat down next to him, tilting your head and studying his expression. You waited a few seconds before speaking up. “..is it about Padmé?” You question. 

Anakin nodded. It was hard to explain, but he felt something. Something that both terrified him and excited him. 

“How did you know?” Anakin asked. “Ahah.. lucky guess?” You smiled, then giving him a sympathetic look. “..is she okay? Are you two okay?”

Anakin sighed. "Yeah... I think we are." He put his head down, leaning his arms on the table. 

“She's so beautiful…” Anakin whispered. “And she's smart.. And... caring... and... wonderful…”  Anakin trailed off, unknowingly breaking your heart with every word. “…You love her a lot… don’t you? Well, I bet my lightsaber she loves you a lot as well.” You tried to smile through the pain, asking the very question that could possibly break you, but you had to know. 

Anakin looked up at you, a look of uncertainty on this face. “No, it's not that. I love her… it's just... It’s hard to describe.” Anakin said. 

“But.. sometimes, I just feel like... I don't need this.” He looked away from you. 

“This… this whole Jedi… thing. I don’t know if I want to be a Jedi anymore.” Anakin whispered, his words dripping with emotion. “I want something different.” He said hesitantly, looking back at you. 

“…I see. What is it you want, exactly?” You whispered curiously. Anakin seemed to think for awhile. 

“I don't want the Jedi Order, that's for sure.” Anakin said. 

“I want freedom. I want... something... more. Something..." He trailed off. 

“I want to be happy.” Anakin finally said, almost as if it was a confession. “But I'm... afraid.” 

You nodded in understanding. You want freedom too, but not in the same way; you wanted to just be free from this unrequited love, to be free from this constant heartbreak…

“…why are you afraid?” You asked him softly. 

Anakin stared at the table in front of him. “I don’t know, it’s just… if I let go of this… this Jedi thing…” He said, the word ‘Jedi’ having a slight hint of hatred in it. “..I’m not sure if I can become anything else. But at the same time… I don’t want this.” He continued, looking like he was on the verge of tears.  

You nodded. “I understand. I really do..”

You so desperately wanted to reach out and hold Anakin's hand, to comfort him and tell him that everything will be okay as long as they have each other. But you couldn't. You weren’t Padmé.

“…I feel like I'm going insane…” Anakin whispered, his voice quiet and strained. He felt ashamed, but also somewhat relieved that he finally let it out. 

“Sometimes I even think... I even thought…” Anakin trailed off.

“Never mind.” He said with a sigh.

“Wait, no.. you can tell me.. I promise I won’t tell anyone..” You reassured him. 

He looked back up at you. “Sometimes… I have these… thoughts.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “What kind of thoughts?” You asked gently. 

“…Dark thoughts. Violent thoughts. Thoughts that could.. that could get me expelled from the Jedi Order.” Anakin finished, his voice strained. He looked at the table, and you did too. “…I see.” You finally reply, looking back up at him in sympathy. “…do you think it’ll affect you soon? Like…. You’re almost at your breaking point?” 

Anakin took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know…” he answered. 

“I don’t know what I’m capable of..” He continued, his voice starting to shake. You notice him slowly, hesitantly reach his hand over the table and rest it on yours, his fingers trembling. 

You stared at your hand for a moment, then back at Anakin, feeling the pang in your heart again. Oh, if only he knew the pain he’d just caused… “Hey.. it’s okay, you’re strong… I know you can get through this. I know it.” You whispered to him, giving him a soft smile. 

Anakin leaned his head against the table, keeping his eyes shut. “Can you… can you do me a favor..?” He asked quietly. 

“Anything. Yeah.” You whispered immediately, ready to give your life for Anakin in a heartbeat if you were asked to do so. 

Anakin sighed. “Can... can you promise to stick with me? No matter what? Like a Jedi and his Padawan?” 

Anakin looked up at you. "Can... can you do that for me?" He asked. He looked like he was begging you for help.

You nodded. “Of course.. I’ll always be on your side, no matter what. I’ll always be here for you.” You whisper with a smile. Anakin looked up at you, tears starting to form in his eyes. “Thank you…” he whispered. 

A moment later Anakin embraced you in a tight hug, a feeling of relief washing over him. 

You tensed slightly, a blush forming on your face. The pang in your heart hit harder again, and you knew that this moment would haunt you forever. 

Nevertheless, you placed a hand gently on Anakin’s chest and wrapped your other arm around his waist, hugging him tighter. “Shh… don’t cry..” You whispered, hating to see him in pain even though you were probably hurting even more than he was. 

Anakin's words were muffled as he buried his head into your shoulder. It had been so long since someone had embraced him in a welcoming way. 

“I’m… I'm scared…” Anakin whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

You were the only thing grounding him to reality. 

“Hey, it’s okay… you’ll be okay.” You whispered reassuringly, rubbing Anakin’s back soothingly. The longer the two of you hugged, the more it hurt you. But you couldn’t understand it. Why were you feeling so much pain when he was showing you affection? Isn’t this what you wanted? 

Anakin lifted his head from your shoulder, looking back at you. He could feel his breath catching in his throat as he gazed into your eyes. Before he could even think, Anakin leaned in and softly kissed your lips. You could feel your cheeks get redder as he kissed you. Was this even real? You didn’t care; this was the happiest you’d ever been, almost as if you were in a trance. You kissed him back without hesitation, but then as quickly as the moment came, it was over; Anakin pulled away. Your eyes widened in realization as you snapped back into reality. Anakin seemed shocked as well, surprised by what he just did. “I….” He whispered, unsure of what to say. 

You looked at him in horror, thinking of what Padmé would do if she ever found out. 

“I… I’m sorry, I.. oh, no…” 

Not thinking straight, you quickly got up and ran away from the library, tears starting to blur your vision. 

“W-Wait! Come back!” Anakin called your name as he got up from the table, running after you. 

“J-Just leave me alone, Ani…” you pleaded as you covered your mouth with your hand, a sob escaping your lips. 

Anakin kept following you as you both raced down the halls, your footsteps echoing. Eventually he caught up with you and grabbed him by the shoulders. “No.. No, I won’t. Let me help you.” He said firmly as he took your hand and held it. “Please… you’re hurting me more than you realize..” You stared at him, tears starting to fall down your cheeks now. You wanted to pull your hand away, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to do so. 

“No, I want to be by your side. Through thick and thin,” Anakin said with a slight smile. “Padmé means a lot to me, but you... you are very special to me as well.” 

You looked away from him, taking in shaky breaths as more tears fell down your cheeks and you wiped them away before looking at him again. 

“Wait.. so… y-you don’t love Padmé?” You asked slowly. 

Anakin went red. “What? No no... I do love Padmé.” Anakin said, his voice getting a bit higher than he intended. Was he lying?

“But... I also love... I mean... uh…” Anakin was fumbling with his words. He wanted to say 'I love you,' but he didn't want to scare you. Anakin wasn't sure what he should do. He was stuck.

“Anakin.. don’t play games with me right now.” You pleaded. 

“Do you love me, or her?” You asked bluntly, tears still falling down your cheeks, your eyes turning puffy. 

Anakin took a deep breath.

“I… I choose... you.” Anakin said, looking at you.

For the first time since you had known each other, Anakin looked completely honest. He wasn't lying about anything. He looked at you with eyes of complete adoration.

"I choose... you." Anakin repeated.

You looked down at the ground, his words registering in your brain. “H-How do I know… you’re not lying to me right now to make me feel better?” 

Anakin took his fingers and lifted your gaze. “Look me in the eyes,” Anakin said, and you did.

“I’m not lying to you, and I never will.” He said with complete honesty. 

“You mean more to me than anyone in the galaxy.” Anakin's voice softened. "You are more important to me than even Padmé,” Anakin said, looking you right in the eye.

You looked at Anakin with a desperate expression, shaking your head. 

“Oh, Ani…” You whispered, and before you knew it, you’d placed your lips on his again, this time full of passion. 

Anakin wrapped his arms around you and kissed you back just as passionately as tears formed in his eyes. “I love you.” He whispered.

Hearing those words from Anakin’s lips melted your heart, and you felt tears forming in your eyes again, but this time from pure joy. 

“I love you too.. Oh, Ani.. I’ve waited so long to hear you say that..” You whispered back, kissing him again. 

Anakin kissed back, not wanting the moment to end. He embraced you as if you were the only thing holding him together. 

It was like a fairytale come true. 

Anakin finally felt happy. Really happy. He had you to thank for it, as well as his own courage to take a chance. 

And now, you were finally with the one you loved. 

[biggestsimponhere]

“don’t touch them” with obi wan x reader please!! a little angst/comfort with obi wan getting protective ☺️

Protective - Obi-wan kenobi x reader

Warnings - Mentions of torture, blood, sharp objects

A/N: sorry this is so late omg 😭

A mission went wrong, this isn’t unusual in most cases except the way it went wrong. You and Obi-wan Kenobi had been sent on a mission on the outer rim. You’d gotten the supplies to the town and all was going well until you both began to make your way out of the town. You had both been too exhausted to sense someone sneaking up on you. Which effectively led to where the two of you are now. Chained up on Dooku’s ship with Obi-wan chained up next to you.

As you began to stir awake you could hear Obi-wan grunting in pain next to you. You reach out with your force to Obi-wan as you slowly wake up. “Well look who decided to join us” Dooku said turning his attention to you. “Don’t touch them, you’ll have much bigger problems than the order if you do” Obi-wan said glaring at Dooku. “Oh? So you do have a soft spot, here I was thinking it would take much more to crack you” He said looking back at Obi-wan. Obi-wan continued to glare at the man, while subtly trying to make sure you were alright. Dooku moved over to the table to pick up what appeared to be a very sharp knife.

You stared as you watched him move over to Obi-wan with it. He crouched in front of him moving the knife to Obi-wans face and running it down his cheek, nicking his face. Obi-wan grunted in pain as blood ran down his cheek. “Stop, d-don’t hurt him, hurt me” You said firmly. “I mean if that’s what you want” Dooku said before shocking you with his force lightning. “Stop! Stop please” Obi-wan yelled. Your face had begun to pale and obi could see you sweating. “Just stop” He said defeated. “Tell me what I want to know and i’ll let you both go freely” Dooku said stopping the lightning.

Before Obi-wan could say anything an alarm went off on the ship. Obi-wan smiled lightly as he felt Anakins force signature enter the ship. Dooku fled from the room quickly. “Y/n, hey, wake up please” Obi-wan said trying to nudge your force with his. He received no response verbally or otherwise. Then Anakin bust into the room. “Master” He shouted as he ran and undid Obi-wan’s cuffs. Obi-wan quickly moved over to you. You were still breathing but very lightly. “What happened?” Anakin asked almost on the verge of tears. You had raised him almost ad much as Obi-wan had. “Dooku happened” Obi-wan said before calling for medical.

Everything blurs as you’re rushed out of the room. Obi-wan watches as your taken away. To medical. Not away. He follows behind them slowly. Feeling awful, like he should be the one on the stretcher and not you. He distantly hears his name. He doesn’t respond. He can’t. “Obi-wan?” Anakin says again. Stepping in front of him. “Yes?” He says but it’s like he can’t even hear himself talk. “You need to get checked out” Anakin says laying his hand on Obi-wan’s arm. “I can’t, not until she’s okay” Obi-wan says. “She’ll be fine, but if she’s gonna be fine you have to be too” Anakin said before dragging obi-wan over to medical.

“Please Anakin, check on her” Obi-wan says as he sits on the bed. Anakin nods and heads out of the room. Obi-wan profusely refuses treatment until he knows your state. Eventually Anakin comes back into the room. Obi-wan looks up immediately. “H-how is she?” He said quietly. “She’s going to be alright master,” Anakin responded softly “You need to be treated” Obi-wan nodded and let the droids finally work on him. As soon as he was treated he rushed out of the room to find you. Once he was in your room he sat by your bedside quietly. If the other Jedi saw him shed a few tears they pretended not to notice.

He grabbed a hold of your hand and laid his head to rest at your side. A few hours later you woke up, reaching to move your hand you noticed a weight on it. You looked down and noticed obi-wan. You smiled lovingly before waking him up with a soft call of his name. He immediately perked up upon hearing your voice. “You’re awake” He smiled. “Thank you” You say quietly. “For what?” he replied immediately. “Keeping me safe” you say, reaching out to cup his cheek. Understanding that he doesn’t believe he did you sigh lightly. He turns his head to place a kiss on your palm before interlacing your fingers. You nod to the space next to you and he climbs into the bed. The two of you drift off into a peaceful sleep. Safe in each other’s arms.

[slut-for-hayden-christian]

Friends with benefits~

Summary~ Anakin just got out of his long term relationship with his childhood love papme. To help get over his heart break he starts a fwb relationship with his best friend's little sister. Unfortunately the reader falls for him (who wouldn't) she tells him and he blows up at her ending the relationship. Until a few weeks later they end up at the same party.

Warnings~ smut~mdni~ anis an ass-hole what's new~i love to cuss~ lots of mentions of sex~self deprecation~ ooc anakin~ porn with plot~ cream pie~ no condom (please wrap that shit!)

Anakin sighed contently, rolling off the heaving girl beneath him. Anakin had just been dumped by his childhood love, padme. 

Anakin lit a cigarette while he watched y/n stumble around his room, trying to hurry and get dressed. “Hey ani” she asked as she pulled her shirt over her head, “hmm” he hummed, lazily looking over her body, her lower half still being naked.

She took a second to build her confidence before she asked “can i talk to you before i go” as she waited for his answer she found and started to pull up her panties. “Yeah i guess” anakin shrugged, exhaling smoke. 

y/n smiled at him shyly, “well i just, what i want to say is, i know that our agreement says no feelings, but um-” anakin sat up quickly startling y/n and cutting her off. “No fucking buts thats the only way this continues” he glared at the startled girl.

y/n sighed “ani i have feelings for you…” y/n was relieved to get that off her chest. Anakin stood up towering over y/n. “I still have feelings for padme y/n!” Anakin raised his voice, the volume making y/n flinch.”oh” she tears up knowing where this was about to go.

Anakin pinched the bridge of his nose “dont fucking cry! We made a agreement- no fucking strings” he passed the room “ i have been keeping my end of the deal, what the fuck!” he looked over to y/n glaring daggers at her. “ i pretend your padme y/n, everytime” 

y/n's eyes widened “what..” she asked, wishing she had just kept quiet in the first place. He stalked over to her, causing her to take a few steps back. “You heard me, I pretended you were  padme.” y/n's whole body went frigid~ she could handle him still being in love with padme, but what honestly hurt her was that.

y/n looked down slowly and quietly grabbing her things, she didn't wanna talk she just wanted to leave and never come back. y/n pulled her pants on and opened the door to leave, he paused when anakin called out to her. “y/n. This is over, don't ever come back, call or text me again”

y/n nodded before leaving the room, quite sobs escaping through her lips. How could she have been stupid enough to fall for him, to believe he might have had feelings for her!

Two weeks came and went, but y/n wouldn't leave her room, obi wan was worried for his little sister, not understanding why she was acting like this. Obi wan could only assume it had to be a boy who left his sister depressed.

Obi wan had been explaining this problem to Anakin, who sat across the table at their favorite bar. Anakin felt shots of pain through his whole body anytime Obi wan would bring it up. Anakin felt like shit knowing he was the reason behind her suffering, and she was a really good freind of his before he fucked it up, not only that but she was his little sisters best friend! How could he do something so vile.

“I'm sure she will be fine, obi, she's a strong girl” anakin told obi wan as well as himself. obi wan nodded “trust me i know she's strong, bit she needs to get out of her room she hasn't eaten all week” obi sighed, he was really worried for her, having never seen her have this reaction to a boy before.

Anakin shifted in his seat, “she hasn't been eating” anakin was really starting to get worried. Obi wan just nodded his head solemnly. “I-im sure she will get better soon” anakin reassured his friend and also himself.

y/n decided that she was done letting anakin bitch-walker get the best of her. Padme was having a party tonight and y/n was going to it! And she was not leaving until she got laid. Why be caught up on a man who never even liked her when you can go to a party and be with someone who does. 

y/n called asoka, patiently waiting for her to answer. “Hello!” came Asoka's hyper voice. “Hey soka i'm going to padme's party tonight, you coming” y/n heard a loud crash on the other side of the call, “duh, wanna come over and get ready” y/n froze, “actually how bout you come her this time” asoka agreed, saying she would bring alcohol to pregame.

y/n opens her closet wondering what she should where, y/n pulls out a black lace top she had originally gotten for anakin.. His loss she shrugged. She set the top on her bed. Then she pulled out a cute skirt, it was plain black but matched the vibe perfectly. To accessorize the skirt she pulled out a black chain belt. Happy with the base she then pulled out long black heeled boots and the rest of her accessories.

y/n and asoka blasted music in y/n's small bathroom as they got ready excitedly. Asoka looked hot, the colors she picked complementing her skin tone perfectly. “You look soooooo hot soka” y/n squealed, asoka giggleed “i look hot~ girl have you seen yourself” they both checked themselves out “were bad bitches” y/n smiled, asoka nodded “oh one hundred present”

“Grab the boos and lets get the fuck out of here” y/n yelled more then ready to go out for the first time in weeks. Asoka happily did just that, grateful that her best friend was out of her room. Asoka grabbed the boos before following y/n out to the uber y/n had called.

 Anakin stood next to obi, slowly taking sips from his cup as his eyes scanned the area. After the break up with Padme he had felt this strange emptiness, that he somehow made worse when he ended things with y/n.

He was looking for Padme, hoping he might be able to mend their broken relationship. He loved her, or at least the thought he did, he wasn't so sure anymore. Finally anakin makes eye contact with padme, “i’ll be back obi” anakin mumbled to obi wan before walking over to where padme stood. 

~~ 

y/n and soka finally made it to the party, separating at the entrance to find who their going to fuck tonight. y/n was honestly hoping that Anakin wouldn't be here, but she knew that was really unlikely seeing as this is Padme's party, and Anakin only cares about her..y/n rolled her eyes at the thought. 

y/n honestly never wanted to see anakin again after what he said, but that simply isn't possible, anakin was her brother's best friend and her best friend's brother. It honestly all felt like some kind of cruel joke.

“Hey beautiful~” an unfamiliar voice said from behind y/n, she turned around, met with a strikingly handsome man, “hi handsome” she smiled seductively. The man had the bluest eyes hse had ever seen, and that's saying something when comparing to Anakin's blue eyes. He had short brown hair and a cute crooked smile.

“My name's tom-you?” he said over the loud music. y/n thought he was really handsome~ someone she could one hundred percent see herself fucking.. “y/n” he smiled “your name’s as beautiful as you are” tom put a hand on y/ns lower waist, gently tugging her closer.  y/n giggled, deciding she found who she was going to be with tonight.

~~

“Hi padme.. How have you been? "Anakin asked, sliding up next to her. Padme smiled kindly at Anakin, “ hi ani.. I've been good, how bout you”  anakin smiled and the fucking beautful girl. 

“I'm not going to lie i have missed you a lo-” anakin's words died on his lips, hi eyes now focused on y/n and one of his teammates, y/n’s head was thrown back, a genuine laugh falling from her lips.

Anakin's thoughts trailed to y/n, the way her lips felt, how her hair always fell into her face when she was concentrating on something, the way her eyes would light up as a song she loved came on, her laugh was literally the most beautiful in the world, how fucking funny she was.

Padme's eyes followed to where Anakin was looking, a knowing smirk forming on her face. “Anakin” she said softly, breaking Anakin out of his trance. “Shit sorry, as i was saying” padme held her hand up stopping him, “i know what you were saying ani, but i truly think you only think you still love me cause.. Your scared of change, i see the way you look at y/n” 

Anakin shook his head “y/n..no!” Padme sighed “anakin skywalker, do not be stupid we both know you love her” padme snapped gently, anakin was about to shake his head, but the sound of y/ns laugh drifted over.. He looked back over at her, how long had it been since he made them laugh like that?

Too long.

Anakin frowned as he watched y/n bat her eyelashes and grip Tom's bicep, anakin wasn't fully sure what he was feeling, but he knew he didn't like it one bit. “Go get her before it's too late” Padme whispered to Anakin, a soft smile playing on her lips.

Anakin looked at Padme one last time, before taking long strides over to y/n.

Anakin scanned y/ns outfit- she was fucking breath takeing. He hated that some other guy was the one y/n was flirting with. By the time Anakin had reached her he was practically drooling, how could he ever think he was in love with someone else.

y/n spotted him and glared, it stung a little, but anakin shook it off. As Anakin past y/n he grabbed her wrist, pulling her to the stairs , then up them and into a random room, ignoring her protests. 

~~ 

“Shit anakin, let me go” y/n seethed trying to escape his grip, he wouldn't budge. She sighed, yelling back to Tom that she would be back, following Anakin into one of the rooms. Anakin locked the door behind them, “what the fuck anakin!” y/n yelled pulling her arm from his grip angrily.

y/n tried to side step him and leave, but anakin stood tall in front of the door. “I really need to talk to you,” Anakin pleaded. “No! You're such a dick- I can't believe you!” y/n started to tear up in both frustration and sadness. y/n couldn't believe the nerve of anakin.

“Fuck i know, just please, please let me talk” anakins voice was slightly raised, begging with y/n to let him talk. “Fuck you” she tried to push past him again, but he stoped her, gripping her shoulders. “No! y/n… im in love with you” he looked deep into her eyes trying to portray all of his feelings for her with just a look.

y/n stopped thrashing, tears forming in her eyes. “This is cruel anakin” she whimpered. Anakin sighed, wiping the tears falling from her eyes, resting his hands on her cheeks before he talked. “I'm sorry I ended things..i didn't realize how i felt, i still don't fully understand, i kind of just realized.. But i do understand that i'm in love with you, and that seeing you with tom killed me, i can't stand it” anakin whispered, he was done yelling.. 

y/n let out a sob.”how am i supposed to believe you anakin! You imagined Padme in my place- that's not something you do to the person you're in love with” y/n hit his chest. Anakin grabbed her wrist softly before she could hit him again, taking his free hand and pinching her chin softly making her look him in the eyes. 

“I lied, I never pictured Padme in your place, I was just so sure I was still in love with her so I was scared! But I'm not in love with her, I'm in love with you. Anakin didn't break eye contact with y/n for a second. “Fuck your so beautiful” anakin whispered. 

y/n blushed “you're really in love with me?” she asked softly, a glimmer of hope in her shaky voice. y/n was finally starting to calm down. Anakin leaned down, faces now inches apart. “I'm so in love with you it hurts” he said before finally connecting their lips in a soft passionate kiss.

Anakin slowly pulled y/n to the bed in the corner of the room. He pulled away from the kiss looking into her eyes tenderly. “We don't have to do anything,” he whispered. y/n opened her eyes, “i want to” she said back, pulling him in and reconnecting their lips.

Anakin smiled into the kiss, slowly sitting down pulling y/n with him. y/n landed on his lap, their lips only leaving each other for a brief moment. y/n pulled at anakin's shirt, hinting that she wanted it off.

Anakin broke the kiss, keeping eye contact as he pulled his shirt off, y/n grinded down on Anakin's growing erection. They both moan quietly. Anakin gripped the end of y/ns shirt looking into her eyes, silently asking permission.

y/n nodded, making ani pull her shirt off, throwing it somewhere behind him on the floor, anakin admired y/n's red laced bra before quickly reaching behind her and taking it off. Her red bra followed y/ns shirt.

Anakin tightly gripped her hips, guiding her grinding motions. His lips trailed down her neck and collarbone, leaving a trail of dark hickeys. y/n threw her head back, savering the feeling of his fully hardened cock rubbing against her clit.

Anakin lifted her to her knees, she hovered above him while he pulled down his pants and boxers, he kicked them off before pulling y/n back to his lap. y/n went back to grinding, needing friction desperately. She moaned at the freeling of his fully freed cock against her lace panties. 

Anakin swiftly changed their position, laying y/n on her back, while he hovered over her. Anakin's fingers working on her belt, before hooking under her skirt and panties, pulling them down in one swift motion. He discarded the clothes somewhere in the room. 

“God you are so beautiful” anakin mummerd, taking in y/ns now fully bare body. y/n grabbed Anakin's face pulling him into a soft lingering kiss. Anakin's right hand travel down her body and to her pussy, starting to rub slow circles around her sensitive nub”

A moan leaving y/n's lips forced them to pull away from the kiss, her head falling back on the pillows. Anakin groaned at the feeling of y/ns wetteness, he pushed two fingers into her tight pussy, cock twitching at her tight walls clenching around his fingers.

Anakin worked y/n open with deliberate thrusts of his fingers. y/n moaned gripping anis shoulders to ground her. “Ani, need more” y/n whimpered, leaning up and leaving hickeys wherever she could reach.

Anakin pulled his fingers out, making y/n whine at the empty feeling. Anakin connected their lips once more, before slowly dragging his cock down her pussy and positioning it at her hole. “Are you ready?” he mumbled against her lips, excitement coursing through his veins.

“Just make love to me ani” she moaned against his lips, bucking her hips in a futile way of getting some kind of friction. y/ns eyes rolled back as anakin slowly pushed his cock into her, pausing when he fully in.

“Move” y/n demanded. Anakin slowly pulled out, before pushing back in softly. This was different from all other times the two people had sex, anakin didnt wanna fuck y/n, he wanted to make love to her, slowly and passionately.

Anakin hoped y/n could feel his love, his longing, in the way he was fucking into her. y/ns back arched, anakin leaning in and taking a nipple into his mouth. y/n moaned.

Anakin's hand reached back down to her nub, going back to rubbing soft circles. She was reaching her peak, and fast. “ani..mm…fuck” y/ns hands moved to anis back, digging in and leaving long scratch marks.

y/n felt a familiar coil start to build in their lower stomach. “Ani i-im about to cumm~” she attempted to get out. “Me to” anakin grunted in her ear- biting the lobe.

Anakin's thrusts started to get sloppy, as y/n's eyes rolled back, seeing stars on, clenching Anakin's cock hard. Anakin gave a few last sloppy thrusts before cumming inside.

The two lovers took a moment to catch their breaths. Before Anakin pulled out slowly and carefully, not wanting to hurt y/n.

 y/n and anakin snuck out of the poor strangers room. “I'll see you tomorrow after school, love” Anakin said, kissing her before running back over to obi. y/n happily took a second to watch her boyfriend, sighing happily.

y/n turned to honestly uber home, y/n blushed as she made eye contact with ahsoka. “Oh hey soka” y/n said nervously, “ew your fucking my brother” ahsoka fake puked. y/n blushed. “No but seriously, are we going to be sisters? If not ill go talk some sense into that asshole” y/n laughed.

A\n~ can you tell I was writing the smut like 😳🫣 lol!! I promise I’ll get better one day…maybe.

[astheforcewillsit]

(anyway wrote my post-war codywan fic where gets to find himself and be debrainwashed while coming to terms with the role Obi-Wan/Jedi-Order played in the enslavement of his brothers with a happy ending)

Working Pains Summary: It has been two years since the Clone Wars ended. Two years since Cody has had a proper conversation with his General. But in between extensive therapy, deconditioning, and learning to be an actual person, Cody doesn't know where Obi-Wan Kenobi fits in that.

(Un)fortunately, when a Jedi led peace treaty with former Separatist territories fails spectacularly, Cody gets the opportunity to close up loose ends.

or

Obi-Wan almost dies, and predictably Cody finds himself by his side.

----

Fox is waiting for him when he gets to the hospital. And Force is the place a mess. 

To put it mildly, the hospital waiting room is a complete shit show. To put it accurately, Cody hasn’t seen chaos like this since he was in a medical wing during the clone wars.  Behind the reception, doctors run like fire licks their feet through the halls, rubber soles squeaking against polished floors.  Nurses call out orders like commanders on the battlefield, shouts slicing through the disorder in the waiting room. Droids console families who sit helplessly to hear the news of their loved ones. 

(Cody fights the innate urge to help. But he’s not that man anymore.)

The Clone Wars may be over, but Cody hasn't moved on enough to let droids hold his hand while he cries. Not just any droid, after least.

Instead Fox sits beside him, briefing–telling him what news he's heard.

A surprise attack in hyperspace. Over a thousand dead, more injured. A Jedi led peace attempt in former Separatist territory that turned bad real quick. Tale as Old as fucking Time, and if Cody’s heart wasn't beating in his throat, he would have chuckled.

And the icing on the cake–the failure was led by none other than Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

(He remembers where he was and who was with when Fox had commed him just that name three hours ago. Laying in bed against Rex as they watched a holo about loth cats, Boil asleep on the opposite chair. Jesse the most awake of them all, texting back and forth with someone on his datapad. 

He remembers how the mention of his former General had been enough to take him from the Company of his brothers, brothers who had held his hand through hours of therapy, through the realization that he had been brainwashed and used. 

That he had fought for a Republic who used him and abused him, and that the Jedi had led them still. That Obi-Wan had done little to save him.  They had been there as he came to that ugly, painful revelation. They had been there with him as he put space between himself and the Master. 

And yet, the last he saw of them was the disappointment when he threw caution to the wind to come to said Jedi’s side. Force, he hoped they didn’t hate him after this.)

Who is supposedly amongst the injured. 

This is supposedly one of the better hospitals, though. In a higher, more affluent level of Coruscant. Fox has assured him of this.  Still it begs the question-

“Why not the temple? Wouldn’t they know how to help him?” It’s been an hour and Cody is tired of sitting. 

He stands, arms crossed as he begins to pace.  Across the room a woman screams, her shrills erupting into inconsolable sobs. Both Fox and Cody wince. It hurts them all particularly more than a human woman would. Kel Dor have a knack for doing that. 

 Clearly the medical droid is not doing its job. 

“Overwhelmed,” Fox supplies, chipped, “Kenobi was awake enough to request that the more injured be taken to the Temple–Jedi and non-Jedi alike. The Temple obliged”.

Cody wants to scream. It was clearly a ruse.  The man was certainly the most injured of them all. How could they not see it? Two years apart from Obi-Wan and Cody could pick out his General’s tricks blindfolded. Did they know how many times he insisted his men be treated before him? How many times he’d lie to the 212th medics about his injuries just so the clones were being treated first?

Obi-Wan would give his blood to an orphanage if he was bleeding out. 

“He'll be okay, Cody.” Fox is meticulously calm, as if sensing Cody’s distress.  It's been practiced. Fox two years ago would have lost his absolute shit. Quinlan Vos was on the mission too. 

“If I were with him, he'd…” he breathes in deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose. Old habits die hard. Conditioning even harder. 

He is not the Jedi’s or the Republic. He made that clear when he left GAR. When he distanced himself Obi-Wan. 

That chapter has been long closed. And therapy made him realize just how fucked up his head was. Marshall Commander Cody, the most fucked up of them all. The most loyal.

Finding himself after that involved time with his brothers. And consequently, his relationship with Obi-Wan had suffered. 

And Obi-Wan had been very sparse in reaching out to his men after. At least Cody. He'd put up his walls, fallen into the mold of the perfect “Jedi Master”, lack of attachments and all.

(If the clones felt the Jedi used them, maybe the Jedi felt the clones tainted them. Weapons that drew them to the Dark Side. Maybe the feelings was mutual. Or maybe that’s how Kenobi was before the war). 

“The desk is clear,” Fox indicates to the clerk, who runs a hand through her tight curls, “Let’s go.” 

Cody wastes no time in crossing the distance between the vast space of the desk and the clerk.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,”  he manages before she can even collect herself, “we’re here for him. He’s the General–The Master–” 

“The Jedi? Yes, he's recently gotten out of surgery. No visitors yet, name?”

At a time, he had been on Obi-Wan’s list of emergency contacts. Especially as the war waned. He hopes their time apart hasn't ruined that. If so, he has Fox. And all his ties to the government. 

“Cody, CC-2224” he provides, urgently, “I'm–was his Commander–during the–” The underpaid clerk raises her hand, and directs them behind the rooms. 

“You're on the list. I think we called you like five times, but you didn't answer."  He swallows thickly. He had seen the number on his comm. He had an inkling about who it was for. But he just didn't pick up. He couldn't bring himself to. And then Fox called. 

"Here's the room number.” She gives a breakdown of the directions and the maps that makeup the hospital. Visiting hours are defined, but Cody thinks that with the chaos, they’ll be extended.  She ushers another family to the desk as she finishes with him. 

Fox is able to walk him through the hospital layout sans the map. His time in the Corries saw him through these walls one too many times, as both an escort and patient. 

Cody doesn’t think he could focus on the map if he tries. His hands are shaking, his breathing is uncharacteristically unsteady. Shaking like he’s stepping back onto the battlefield for the first time. 

– 

There’s less chaos on Obi-Wan’s floor. But still, it has been touched by the disarray from the waiting room. His room isn’t even private, most likely due to the lack of beds.  And as far as Cody can tell, there’s at least one other patient in there, separated by a curtain. 

Within the first few seconds of finding the room, Cody looks everywhere but where he should. He takes note of the window. The curtains are open, and the vibrant lights of Coruscant’s nightlife infiltrate the hospital room. He pays attention to the ambiance, the cycling of the machines, the steady rise and fall of his chest,  a forced atmosphere of peace clashing against this war that still drags the Jedi into it. 

Against whatever the hell is going on in Cody’s heart. 

Fox says something behind him, gently coaxing him into the room. Automatically the soft lights illuminate the space. Cody had hoped they wouldn’t do that. It was easy to make out the outline of Obi-Wan’s body in the dark, helped by the lights from the window.

Now he has to look at him. 

He remembers the last conversions had with Obi-Wan. Bits and pieces, his mind clinging onto them like oxygen. Stretching them out until this very moment. 

“I’m sorry, Gen—Obi-Wan I haven’t been in touch, things have just been happening.”

How does one explain that ‘things’ are extensive therapy, working through years of brainwashing and mind control? Realizing that the man you loved the most  and his entire Order sat near the pinnacle of that. 

“I understand. These things take time. Please Cody, let me know if you need anything.”

Though despite the anxiety, despite the confusion. He still loves this man, he still wants him safe. And he knows danger follows Obi-Wan Kenobi wherever he goes. 

“Be safe, General.”“It’s just Obi-Wan, Cody. I am not, and never should your General. And if that’s too familiar, Master Kenobi will suffice for me.” 

How long was that? 6 months ago? 12 months ago? Two years ago? What had he lost in the time he tried to reclaim himself? Tried to find himself.

Who had he cut loose when he shed the skin of Commander Cody of the 212? 

Obi-wan had answered then with some sort of sad resignation that Cody couldn’t pinpoint. Like they wouldn’t see each other again. He wonders now if Obi-Wan had sensed his inner turmoil. Kriff, of course he did. He was a Jedi. 

That’s why he never reached out. Why he stopped when Cody stopped.

Suddenly  he’s crying like a child when this starts to hit him. 

The confusion of it all. The suddenness. He could have lost Obi-Wan, and he doesn’t know if that would make him feel better. It might make him feel worse. 

Sobs and sobs rock his body.  He didn't feel sad when he came in. He was anxious, yes. But sad? No, not at all. He hoped they could talk.

He acknowledges that this is a lot from him too. He hasn’t been on a battlefield for two years. He hasn’t seen an injured man like this since the clone wars ended. 

Fox leads him to a comfortable chair, and places a gentle hand on his back. He’s glad he doesn’t ask questions. Fox isn’t like the others who lose their mind at the sound of Cody crying. He’s the eldest, supposed to keep them together. But Fox lets him be the baby. 

As he revels in Fox’s comfort, he’s shocked to realize the absence of company. 

It occurs to him then that Obi-Wan doesn’t really have many people to visit him. His relationship with Anakin Skywalker was infamously laughable. Ahsoka Tano had remained a distance from the Temple even after everything. The Council was spread across the galaxy, keeping peace without an army. 

The Order was busy. Fighting wars the Jedi should have left ages ago. Cody thinks sadly to himself that they should have taken their Jedi with them. They could have sorted out the logistics later on.  

Oh Force, he thinks, did I…did I leave him alone? Mustering all the strength in the world, he forces himself to look at Obi-Wan. 

 He doesn’t like what he sees. 

Obi-wan looks pale. Almost as pale as a Kaminoan. According to the briefing from Fox, it wasn’t the burns that landed him on a stretcher. Though his body is covered in enough bacta to challenge that.  It was the smoke inhalation and the blunt force trauma to his head apparently. 

Cody remembers their many conversations with Obi-Wan about complex relationship with armor, and his fear when his General had stopped using it. The boys of the 212 had made bets about when Obi-Wan would end up in a body cast. 

And while he’s in no body cast now, It looks like life has finally collected that toll.  

Cody is almost terrified by how well he’s able to fall into the role of a vigilant commander. After the tears have dried, and the fog has cleared, he pulls the chair closer to the bed and breathes. 

—

Fox disappears when the sun rises, excuses himself behind the curtain. He tells Cody that despite the curtain being closed, there's no one behind it and that he needs some space to work.  Cody assumes he's left to do some Senate work on his datapad, or whatever Fox does to keep himself busy nowadays. He leaves with a gentle press against Cody's forehead, promising him he'll return.

At some point the doctor comes in to check Obi-Wan's vitals, and explains to Cody what procedures were done. He lets him know the Jedi will be there to collect their councilmen within the next few hours where he will likely undergo extensive Force healing for the mental strain he apparently suffered. 

He shoots a quick message to Rex, who he left alone when Fox came to collect him. He thinks Rex may understand what he’s going through, though he’ll never say it aloud. They all know that Rex spends enough time loitering around the secured cells in the upper levels Coruscant to visit his old General. 

(Rex doesn’t know Cody knows this though. That just like everyone who’s had the displeasure of meeting Anakin Skywalker, they still see some good in him.)

He groans after Rex shoots back a thousand question marks, even tries to comm him. He rushes to silence his comm, not wanting to wake the patient whose eyes have already started fluttering behind closed lids. 

Its a futile attempt, because before he knows it,  the bed’s  occupant is stirring faster than he would have liked him to. 

“Cody?” 

It’s been two years, and yet a  million years would not have prepared him for their eventual meeting. 

What does one say? 

“Sorry Sir–Obi-Wan, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He settles for an apology. Force, they could have been in their tents again. Commander and General.  It’s so natural to fall back into old habits. Comforting and terrifying all at once. 

For his part, Obi-Wan pushes himself up with his elbows, rising slightly so he can look Cody in the eyes. His blue eyes are wide, confusion radiating throughout his expression.  And then, his gaze softens, and his brows furrow in guilt. 

“Oh you’re not supposed to be here.” He says the first part gently, more to himself than to Cody, “ I apologize, I meant to remove you from my emergency contacts.” For some reason, that hurts. Cody swallows, feeling a familiar thickness in his throat. 

“Life  must be getting difficult for you, Master Kenobi, if you’re starting to fall behind on administrative tasks. You used to be on-top of that during the war.” He returns the comment with a formality of his own, though he means for it to soften the blow as well. If this is hard for him, it must be hard for Obi-Wan too. 

In response the Jedi chuckles, coughing as he does so. Cody fights the urge to lean over and caress him. You are not his Commander, anymore. You are not his. He is not yours. 

“Well, the adjustment from General to Jedi Master has had its ups and downs. Sometimes the details get lost in the translation,” he offers with a smile, his blue eyes scanning the clone. Cody can feel the full extent of the Force upon him, probing him unprompted. He’d learned early on in his service that this was normal for the Jedi. Just as easily as they used their eyes to see, and their voices to speak, they used the Force to scan everything and everyone. 

It is their way of communication. 

Cody may have put up some boundaries when he left the army, but this is not one of them. He lets Obi-wan in easily. The Jedi feels him out, his Force touch light and airy. Ticklish almost. “You really don’t have to be here Cody.” Obi-Wan says, more seriously now, letting his body fall back onto the bed, “ You can go, I will be alright. I’ll have your contact information removed after this.” 

The warmth of his touch is gone. It sends Cody into a momentary spiral. He didn’t expect this coldness, this lack of familiarity. The sudden end to their very impromptu beginning. There is so much he still wants to do. To say. 

He can’t stop the words that escape his lips next. 

“That no-attachment clause sure has come in handy now, hasn’t it.”

It’s a vile kick in the gut, to throw something as sacred as the Code in the Jedi’s face. Obi-Wan jerks himself up, eyes wide. His machine beeps loudly. He looks dumbstruck, as if Cody has just slapped him across the face. Hard.

Cody knows in that moment his General recalls the late evenings they sat alone together, talking for hours about the Force, about the Order. About what it meant to Obi-Wan, about how the galaxy wide bastardization of his Order, his family, had hurt him more than he let off.

How the Force--The Order--had been there for Obi-Wan at his lowest. That this "emotionless order of monks" had saved him from himself time and time again. 

How many times had Obi-Wan dragged a broken, shell shocked  Cody into his quarters, forcing him onto his bed to meditate. How many times had Cody spoken the words 'I am one with the Force and the Force is with me' as Obi-wan calmed him after a gruesome battle, shielded him from the sharp pain of immeasurable loss. How many times had the Force been there for Cody, orchestrated through Obi-Wan? 

Cody knows Obi-Wan recalls these moments because the clone does as well. And now, his guilt strengthens. 

“Excuse me?” He grits out, wincing, “You’re the one who wanted nothing to do with us.” 

Cody recoils.

“Its…not that simple.” He manages, barely above a whisper. 

In these past few months, he’s found himself saying this a lot. To his brothers, when they ask if he still cares about Obi-Wan. To his therapist, asking what he needs to move forward from what happened to him. To himself, when he looks at his reflection and wonders how he got to where he is now. 

The Force is back, cautiously ebbing around Cody’s field. Hesitant as the former commander lets him in. 

Gently, Obi-Wan speaks, “You were resistant to me in the Force, and cold whenever I was around you. I know what The Republic–what we did to you–I’m not an idiot Cody. I knew you wanted your space away from me.”

Cody cannot meet his eyes. He feels ashamed. And confused. As if the consequences of his actions are now coming to tear him into pieces. But he shouldn’t feel this way, right? He wanted this, right?  

“I don’t…” Cody deflates and throws his head into his hands. This is what he was dreading. His mind is still a mess of commands, of order, of questions, of anxiety. This is like exposure therapy, his trigger and his love all bound in one.

Through the gaps in his fingers, he looks at Obi-Wan lying in a hospital bed, bandages on his arms and head. 

Made to protect a galaxy that would have had his kind murdered if it hadn’t been for the discovery of the chips (and even that happened too late. Both have the saber and blaster scars to prove it). He thinks of Obi-Wan who threw himself into battle to save his men, who placed himself between Cody and a bullet to make sure his Commander made it out alive. 

Who approached him after Order 66 to make sure he was okay. 

Cody is flooded with thundering guilt.  Was all this worth then? If he feels this way about Obi-Wan? What will he tell Rex? What will he tell Boil? He’s supposed to set an example. He’s supposed to be the one who breaks free. What will he be telling his brothers if he goes back? “Cody–Cody, breath!” How Obi-Wan found the time to leave his bed and pull up a chair that had been on the other side of the room in the span of two seconds, Cody does not know. All he knows is that he’s enveloped in Obi-Wan’s physical and not so physical embrace, breathing deeply as tears cascaded down his face. 

“I thought I wanted that, Sir. And part of me is still finding out what all I want, but I know that I haven’t felt the way I just did when you touched me with the Force in a very long time. And I think that no matter how I feel about you,  if you died today, I would have lost my kriffing mind.” He admits through tears,  “so that counts for something, I guess. But I don’t know what that means for me.” 

“Healing is not linear, Cody. I,” Obi-Wan falters, “I still have not spoken to Anakin. I still have not forgiven Qui-Gon, but I would never regret my time with them. And when I am ready, I hope to embrace my padawan again. I say this to let you know that should you never want to see me after this, I will accept that. But I will always be here, waiting for you to return Cody. Be it in this life, or when we are both one with the Force.” 

Cody balls, sobbing loudly as he clings onto Obi-Wan. He nods, the coil in his stomach unfurling. He wonders if it is Obi-Wan’s doing. 

“I’m sorry for what I said about the Code. I'm sorry for everything,” he breathes, pulling himself together, “I am usually not like this.” “None of that Cody, you have nothing to apologize for. The fault is ours. The Order should have done more for you and your siblings,” he states, fingers running through Cody’s hair, “I had hoped that by staying away we were doing that, but I suppose we should let you choose how we interfere.” 

(He wants to tell him that this isn’t the case for all Jedi. Plo Koon tried the silent treatment, and Wolffe, Boost and Sinker apparently cornered him outside of his suite in the Jedi temple.) 

“Clones getting a choice,” Cody chuckles through his tears, “what an amazing concept.” 

Obi-Wan hums, fingers still twisting in Cody’s curls. Cody is more comfortable than he thought he’d be. He welcomes Obi-Wan’s touch just as he did the Force. “Obi-wan, I want to be with you. It won’t be easy, but neither was the war. And we both survived, somewhat.” The tears have stopped now, and he finds both his footing and his voice. Gently, he untangles himself from Obi-Wan’s arms and adjust himself so that he captures those blue eyes with his own. 

“I think we can win this too. If you’ll be patient with me. I am still…healing, as you put it. They did a lot to us in Kamino, and to put it frankly my brain is fucked. And a lot of that was before the war. I will not be easy to be with.” “My padawan is Anakin Skywalker who nearly turned Sith during the war, I don’t think the Force wants me to be with easy people. And I don’t want to either. Besides, I was willing to not speak to you for two years. I will be as patient as you need me to be, Cody.” 

“If you’re comparing me to the two second Sith, then we’re off to a bad start.” Obi-Wan erupts into laughter. Genuine laughter. Laughter so hard, he begins to tear up. Though Cody is somewhat hesitant to credit the humor alone for the tears. Maybe Obi-Wan needs an excuse of his own. 

“Who’s idea was that nickname?” “It was Jesse’s, but now most of the 501st has adopted it.  While half of the galaxy calls him Vader, the 501st calls him the two second Sith. I think it’s how they cope.” Cody joins in, reveling in the ridiculousness of it. 

Leave it to the 501st and their General to be the much needed comic relief.

In between their laughter, and their tears, they lean forward, foreheads brushing against the other.

------------------

(Sometime later, when Obi-Wan has fallen back to sleep, and the Jedi have come to collect their council member, Cody stands to collect Fox from behind the screen. It’s time they both go home. 

He nearly screams when he pulls back the fabric and sees Fox sheepishly bury his head into the mass of hair that is Jedi Master Quinlan Vos. 

He doesn’t even want to ask how much the latter heard. )

[spicedrobot]

Obi wan is in charge of shepherding Maul back to the temple after a disastrous mission saw Maul lose his memories. However, Maul is left with strong, complicated emotions for his carer, which he doesn't not interpret as hate... Aka Obi-Wan can't make two steps without Maul flirting and trying to drag him into bed.

Commander Cody knew who the prisoner was before anyone mentioned him by name. He didn’t know how he knew, exactly. Rumors, perhaps. The GAR was created as the perfect fighting force, but they weren’t droids. They talked. And certainly General Kenobi had never mentioned this man, no matter how nebulous their relationship was. The general was too professional, too closed off, to bring up his past outside of facetious, off-handed comments that could always be more amusement than truth. 

Cody decided, immediately, that the prisoner was ugly. Clawed head, clawed hands, clawed tattoos—everything about him was sharp, marked him as dangerous as a Thunian wart-hornet. He was prone to sneering and snarling, unwilling to be touched though he was in dire need of medical care. Left alone, he watched each medic warily as they checked his readouts and went about their business. That was another thing Cody didn’t understand. The prisoner was a Dathomirian zabrak, red with black tattoos, half metal, with an earring in his left ear. There was only one person he knew that matched that description. Only his eyes… they were a muted brown. A Sith’s eyes, Cody knew, were always yellow. 

His unease only compounded when General Kenobi arrived. The general often looked tired, but now he looked exhausted. He had several burn marks peppering his roughspun robes and an angry, crimson wound across one cheek. His lip was also split, and a deep bruise darkened the underside of his jaw. Cody hadn’t been there when the ambush occurred. But he knew without a doubt that he could thank their new prisoner for every wound on the general. He unfurled his fist, unsure of when he had first tightened it. 

“Thank you for holding down the fort, Commander,” General Kenobi said with a small smile. The expression was empty of its normal mirth. “I can take it from here.”

“General?” Cody replied.

But the man was already walking past him… past him, and towards the prisoner. Towards Darth Maul.

The general spoke the name that everyone had been avoiding, but the single syllable word went soft at the end, unsure. 

The Sith’s dour expression evened out. A placid, neutral mask. He watched the general, unblinking. His nostrils flared once. Cody bristled. Was the zabrak… smelling him?

General Kenobi hesitated again. He stood a few steps away from Maul, watching, waiting. Cody watched too, hand balanced on his blaster. He knew how quickly Jedi could move, and Maul could move just as quick, judging from the poor state of the general. 

The Sith made a sound, a long, low growl. Non-threatening. Considering. “I know you,” he said, at last. A pause, a moue. “Who are you?”

Jedi could be quiet. Eerily so. Cody had walked in on the general meditating, had entered a room a time or two, thinking—knowing—he was alone, only for the general to greet him. General Kenobi went just as quiet now. No movement, no breath, no blood through his veins.  

A flicker. A shudder, so slight as to be unnoticed. He could hear the warmth in the general’s voice as he spoke.

“You’re injured. I can help, if you’ll let me.” 

The Sith grimaced, but he didn’t show his teeth, didn’t coil tight with violence as he’d done before. He nodded, after a few beats, unfurling from the wall and easing himself to the edge of his cot.

Was Maul serious? This had to be some kind of trick. Then, Cody thought of his eyes, hard but dark. His obvious, steely confusion. How he had fought his medics, but hadn't hurt any of them.

Still, Cody took a step forward and to the side, keeping an open angle as General Kenobi approached. The general was unarmed. It didn’t mean he was helpless, but. The feeling in his gut kept churning. General Kenobi couldn’t possibly trust this man. He was more level-headed than General Skywalker, but Skywalker had learned his foolhardiness from somewhere. Cody had also witnessed General Kenobi in some highly avoidable situations, situations that he’d had to clean up himself. This, Cody thought, might be one of those.

The general perused the medkit that was next to Maul’s cot, abandoned by the first medic that had tried to treat him. While his head was turned, Maul’s nostrils flared again. His eyes were fixed on the general, his lips parted, expression lax. 

“Will you show me where it hurts?” the general asked as he faced Maul. Wordlessly, the Sith slipped his robes off his shoulders. 

Tattoos everywhere. Expected. But not the wounds, fresh and angry, burns that he knew matched the general’s. Cody hadn’t thought it was possible for a single opponent to go to toe to toe with him. He’d seen the general kill with effortless precision, a single swing of his saber, the curling of hand into fist. Maul, Cody realized, had been difficult for him to overcome. 

The Sith had older wounds too, harder to see but no less present. And lower, where the man’s artificial midsection began, a mass of scar tissue so complete there was no unblemished skin left. A killing blow. But the man lived and breathed.

Cody felt sweat pebbling at his temple. If he shot to kill, would it even matter?

The general began to touch and prod. The Sith frowned then, but he didn’t fight, didn’t swear or snarl. The general asked Maul to lean back. To turn. Breathe in and out. Hand over the left side of his chest. Then lower, where a spleen would be on a human. The second heart, Cody knew, from the schematics they had pulled for treatment. Bacta was carefully applied, the perfect picture of field care. Were his legs in need of maintenance? The general assured him a droid would be by for inspection and repair.

Then, without hesitation, he touched the Sith’s jaw. The Sith let the press lead him, tilting his head to the side, neck long, exposed. His eyes were half-lidded by then, lips pursed. He had not flinched from the general’s touch. Not once. 

The general held the Sith’s face, thumb balanced beneath the swell of his lower lip, while he administered the hypos. Cody knew his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. He was alert, so keenly focused as if he was still on the battlefield. 

The Sith was relaxed. He had leaned into the general’s grip. And the general had let him, had held him for a few moments longer than necessary. His thumb had even slid over his chin, once, before he withdrew. 

It was bizarre. Inappropriate. It was a thousand things that burned and smarted and confused. The general never touched anyone outside of a friendly clap on the shoulder. Cody could not see the general’s face, nor did the general see his own. 

He was glad for it. 

Only his training, his unerring loyalty, kept him from turning away, kept his hand on his blaster still, though there was no longer a reason for it.

Not with the soft question that came again from the dark-eyed Sith, free of anger or threat. 

“Who are you?”

The general told him. Quietly, the Sith repeated his name. Not general, not even Kenobi. 

Obi-Wan.

This time, Cody looked away, and forced his hand from his weapon.

-

Next chapter ->

[cienie-isengardu]

Cienie's Star Wars sidenotes

While doing research and writing down the last pieces of Funeral Rites of the Clone Troopers, it became even more clear how The Clone Wars animated TV series did a great disservice to Jedi, especially in the context of medical care for clones.

TCW has clone medics, both as part of combat units (e.g. Kix from 501st Legion) and working apparently in the medcentre as sometimes was presented on the screen.

The role of doctors treating wounded troopers was given to Kaminoans (Nala Se) and droids and sure, those two groups were part of the whole GAR’s medical system in the Legends too. However Jedi Healers (doctors), as far as I remember, were seen treating mainly other Jedi like Yoda

and even then TCW barely paid attention to force healing as an important skill. 

The research about medical care for clones gives a pretty drastic idea of what was happening during and after battle which is understandable why the show destined for younger viewers didn’t go into full details about triage of wounded but considering how many dark themes were put in the same show, I dare to say not showing medical care provided by Jedi or common Republic doctors and nurses (who btw are a rare example of republic citizens conscripted into army during the war) actually is unfair. The show reduced one very important aspect of Jedi - they weren’t just generals and commanders either sending or leading troops into battle, they also provided medical help, whether they were specifically trained at healing or not. 

In Legends, we could see Jedi Healers assisting the army on various occassions, working in triage area like in Republic comics series:

The triage unit, where Jedi healers labor to save the lives of the wounded, was set up safely behind the line of battle. But as the fortunes of war shift, so do the battlelines.

and worrying first about wounded even in the face of serious danger

Master Saa! We’re cut off! There’s no way to get the wounded out!

and searching for survivors

Master Saa is hurt! She pulled the trees on top of us for protection...

and working in hospitals

Follow me Skywalker. We have much healing to do. The Jedi sickbay, where we treat the most severe injuries. And our own, of course. Master Offee has saved countless lives. She seldom leaves her post to rest. But we all work long hours.

Not to mention the whole Medstar duology dedicated to padawan Bariss Offee, doctors and nurses serving in Republic mobile hospitals close to frontine - and yes, forever I’m gonna be bitter about how TCW/New Canon treated the most iconic Jedi Healer.

(The cover art for Medstar: Jedi Healer by Dave Seeley)

When padawan Skywalker arrived at New Holstice with his troops, he was immedialy called to assist in the nearest sickbay

“Are you injured, master Jedi?”

“Not really, no.”

“Good. You can make yourself useful by heading to the nearest sickbay. We need all the Jedi healers we can get...”

and for context, this is Anakin two days after after Jabiim, one of the worst war campaigns Republic experienced so far, the solely survivor of Jedi Pack traumatized both by the loss of his comrades and what happened on the planet and forced to make a devastating choice is literally told to get at work ASAP because every Jedi in between assignment was working here hard to heal the most wounded..

Though no healer himself, Anakin even force-healed injured trooper on battlefield to stop him going into shock:

Supporting the commando trooper with his left arm, Anakin warded off blaster bolts on the run. The rest of Squad Seven supplied cover, blowing STAPs out the sky with uninterrupted fire. Cody motioned everyone into a shallow irrigation trench just short of the mound. By the time Obi-Wan arrived, the troopers were deployed in a circle, and continuing to pour fire into the sky. Anakin slid into the trench a moment later, lowering the commando gently to the muddy slope. Squad Seven’s medical specialist crawled over, removing the commando’s ravaged utility belt and deeply dented helmet.  [...]

The harvester’s pincers had crushed the armor into the commando’s abdomen. His skin was intact, but the bruising was severe. With only half the original army of 1.2 million in fighting shape, the life of every clone was vital. Blood and replacement organs - - what the regular troopers referred to as “spare parts” - - were readily available - - “easily requisitioned” - - but with the war reaching a crescendo, battlefield casualties were on the rise and treated as high priority.

“Not much I can do for him here,” the medspec told Anakin. “Maybe if we can get an FX-Seven air-dropped - - ”

“We don’t need a droid,” Anakin interrupted. Kneeling, he placed his hands on the injured commando’s abdomen and used a Jedi healing technique to keep the clone from going into deep shock. [Labyrinth Of Evil]

(and included request for evacuation of the wounded trooper when Cody called for artillery support)

In Republic comics series alone we could see Jedi showing concern for the wounded troopers at various moments, putting their well-being as priority:

or helping (healing) wounded enemies:

And I won't lie, it is frustrating how Legends, especially Republic comics series that had around 40 issues put so much pressure on Jedi Force healing and how Jedi care for wounded troopers while The Clone Wars (New Canon) that lasted for decade or so kinda ignored the issue? Which is unfair to Jedi and clones alike. The first are presented as less caring, at times indifferent? the latter deserved to have all the available medical help, not just Kaminoans and droids.

[make-me-imagine]

Worth Saving

Plot: When you are on a stealth mission in a rebel base, Obi-Wan must listen from a distance. When you are found out, injured and trapped, Obi-Wan races to save you, even when you tell him it's not worth it.

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Gn!Reader

Prompt: A is alone and hurt badly, they can talk to B through an earpiece/phone. Eventually A stops talking and B thinks they lost them. But they find them alive.

Requested By: Anonymous; this is a really old mystery prompt request lmao

A/n: I don't recall if they've ever even used ear-pieces in Star Wars except for with pilots in their ships, or if they just like...don't exist. But let's pretend they do lol

Warnings: Mild cursing, mentions of blood and death, wounds. Pretty angsty. Lack of a sense of self-worth from reader.

Words: 2.3k

-

You tapped on the new piece of hardware hanging over your ear as you walked through the darkened backrooms of the base.

"Is this thing working?" You asked in a hushed tone.

"Yes, I can hear you just fine." You heard Obi-Wan's voice come through with a small amount of static mixed in.

"Oh good, now I can have your voice in my head telling me all the things I do wrong all the time now."

You could almost hear the smirk on Obi-Wan's face at your sarcastic remark before he replied "Perhaps this will stop you from making your impulsive decisions then."

"Don't get your hopes up."

Obi-Wan smiled again as he checked his scanners again. Even in these kinds of situations you could always make him smile.

He was nervous for you, being alone in a rebel base with no real knowledge of what you were actually looking for. And he hated that he was so far away, unable to get closer due to the base's ability to scan for ships.

So you snuck in yourself. Obi-Wan insisted on coming too, but you needed someone to be prepared to get you out fast, besides, if you got caught, there was a higher chance of him being recognized. You had a better ability of blending in, and no one knew your face, you couldn't be tracked back to the resistance.

"Damn"

Obi-Wan's heart dropped when he heard you curse, immedietely sitting up in his chair his hands hvering over the ships controls in case he needed to make his way to you.

"Y/n? What is it?"

"Someones coming, hold on." Your voice was barely audible, but Obi-Wan held his tongue, and his breath.

You snuck into a nearby room and leaned against the wall in the darkness. The sound of people walking past echoed through your ears.

Your heart was hammering as you held the handle of your phaser tightly.

"Y/n?" Obi-Wan's voice spoke softly, worry obvious.

"I'm good." You whispered and you heard an audible sigh of relief.

Looking around the room you had snuck into, you realized it was full of computers and paperwork. Looking closer, you saw drives locked up in a cabinet. Your interest piqued, you inched closer, wondering if the information on the drives might be valuable.

"I found a bunch of data drives"

"Any way of knowing what's on them?"

Breaking the lock, you took as many drives as you could fit in your bag. "No Idea but I grabbed some. I'm going to try and get into their system."

Able to hack in, you were only able to find one file on a potential weapon development for the rebels before you suddenly heard the door behind you slide open.

You dropped down, trying not to be seen, but you weren't fast enough.

"There they are!"

Through the comm's Obi-Wan heard an unfamiliar yell before the sound of weapons fire was heard. Obi-Wan immediately started the ship and made his way towards the base.

Hearing you grunt in pain, Obi-Wan's heart dropped "Y/n?"

"I've been hit" You said with panic in your voice as you fired your weapon at the rebels. Killing one, and wounding the other, you managed to get out of the room.

You raced down the corridors, your abdomen burning from your wound. As alarms started to blare through the base, you looked for a way out, but as the sound of running approached, you felt a sense of dread wash over you.

"I'll be there soon Y/n, can you get to the pick up point?"

"I'll get back to you on that."

Weapons fire filled the comm's again and panic coursed through Obi-Wan. He knew it was too dangerous to send you alone, he hated that he didn't go with you, he hated that he didn't risk the resistance being linked to the mission.

When silence came through the comm's Obi-Wan spoke "Y/n, what's going on?"

He heard your heavy breaths through the comm "I can't get out, they've got the place flooded with people. Obi-Wan, they knew I was here. They didn't just find me, they were looking for me."

Obi-Wan's breath caught in his throat "Are you sure?"

You nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see you "Yes, they knew"

Anger and worry coursed through him, who found out? Or, who betrayed you?

"Where are you?"

"I found a small storage room, I'm hiding in, I don't know if they'll find me. If they do, I'm screwed."

"How are your injuries?"

You looked down at your body and you swallowed. After the first hit to your abdomen in the control room, the ambush of rebels in the hall did more damage. You had been hit in the shoulder, arm and leg. It wasn't good, you already felt your body weakening.

Your clothes were burned from the phaser fire, the wounds were cauterized, but blood seeped from them due to your desperate escape.

"Not good."

Obi-Wan's stomach turned "I'm almost there, just hang on okay?"

"Obi-Wan, don't"

"Don't what?"

"Don't come for me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm too far into the base, it's too risky. And I'm too injured. It's not worth it."

Obi-Wan let out a scoff of anger and surprise.

"You mean you're not worth it?"

You always had this mindset. You always threw yourself into dangerous situations so other's didn't have too, because you thought you wouldn't be as missed, that you wouldn't be worth as much, that no one would really care if you died.

And he hated it, he hated that you didn't see your worth. He hated that you didn't see how much he cared.

Your silence told him exactly what he already knew.

"How can you still think that?" He asked, his voice desperate "How can you think after all this time, after all the people you've saved, that you aren't worth it?"

"It's an occupational hazard I guess." You spoke softly, obviously in pain, but he could hear the forced smile on your face as you spoke.

You were never one to want to worry him, so you always made jokes.

"Even if I don't think I'm worth it. It's too dangerous for you. The base is flooded with people, you may be a jedi, but you can't make it through all of them to find me. You'll get yourself killed."

"I'm coming to get you Y/n, nothing is stopping me."

Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you weren't sure if it was because of the pain, panic, or the way Obi-Wan was speaking.

"Is this what it feels like to be you, when I make reckless decisions?"

You heard Obi-Wan let out a soft huff "Yes"

"No wonder you always get so upset with me."

"Occupational hazard" He mumbled as his knuckles turned white due to the grip of his hands.

He could hear your voice slowly getting softer, you were loosing strength.

"I'm getting close Y/n, just hang on."

You could hear the sound of footsteps nearby and fear coursed through you. You pointed you weapon at the door, prepared to fire if needed. Even if you'd die here, you wouldn't let them take you out easily.

The footsteps faded and you felt relief wash over you. You hissed as a jolt of pain shot through your stomach.

"Y/n?"

"Obi-Wan, it's too late." Your voice was softer now, as your eyelids grew heavier. Your clothes slowly soaked with blood, your wounds aching.

"Don't you dare say that. I know you're stronger than this, so just stay awake, I'm almost there!"

Obi-Wan could feel himself losing to his emotions, but he didn't care, not now. He couldn't lose you, he wouldn't.

"Always so worried about me, always caring so much more than others. Why?" You were mumbling but Obi-Wan could still hear you.

Obi-Wan felt his eyes burning, hearing the pain and worry in your tone "Don't you know?"

"Yes. But If I'm going to die I'd like to hear it at least once."

Obi-Wan shook his head, "You're not going to die. You're going to hold on, and I'll tell you in person. How does that sound?"

"So now you're trying to bribe me into surviving?"

"Anything to make you stay"

You didn't notice your grip loosening and your gun falling to the floor, or the way your body began to slump. You tried to focus on Obi-Wan's voice, to stay awake, but you felt yourself falling into darkness.

"I don't...think I h-have...a choice"

"Y/n? Y/n!"

When you didn't response, and he was only met with silence and static, dread washed over him.

"Y/n?"

Seeing the base come into view, Obi-Wan began to land his ship. Fear, anger and determination coursed through him. He wouldn't believe you were gone, not until he found you. And if- if you were dead, he wouldn't leave you here, not alone.

Obi-Wan managed to get half-way through the base before encountering rebels. After a fight, and a light wound to his arm, he made his way through the base again.

Reaching out with the force, he felt for your presence, any sign of you nearby. Feeling nothing, he felt his heart clench painfully in his chest.

Suddenly, just for a second, he felt a familiar presence, a sort of warmth washed over him, but then it was gone. But it was enough for him as he picked up his pace, and began running.

Finding a small door sort of hidden in a corridor, Obi-Wan knew it would be the sort of place you would go too. Going in silently, his eyes immediately spotted you at the back of the small room and his heart dropped.

You were still, no movement could be seen. Your phaser was lying on the ground beside you, your hands limp and head to the side. Your clothes were soaked with blood, as phaser burns could be seen.

Obi-Wan ran to you taking your face in his hands. He felt relief wash over him. You were still alive, though barely.

He knew it would e dangerous getting you out. He'd have to carry you, but he was not leaving you. Scooping you up into his arms, he made his way out into the corridor. He could hear the sound of footsteps nearby. Taking a breath, he started to run, to get you to safety, so save you.

--- --- ---

You weren't sure how long you had been in the darkness, lost and numb. But slowly, you started to feel as though there was someone in the darkness with you. Like you were underwater and someone was reaching for you, all you needed to do was take their hand.

"Don't go Y/n."

The voice was familiar, but you had trouble placing it. It was warm, it felt safe.

"I'm right here, we're almost out of this, just don't let go."

Suddenly, like a jolt of electricity you realized. It was Obi-Wan. He had come for you after all. But you were sure you were dead. Weren't you?

No. Not yet.

Darkness swallowed you again, but you felt lighter, as though you weren't drowning anymore, but floating, waiting to wake up.

When your eyes finally fluttered open, the room around you was unfamiliar, but the presence beside you was a comforting one.

Obi-Wan stared at you for a moment, surprised by your sudden consciousness. Relief followed quickly though as he leaned forward.

You met his eyes before you spoke, your voice soft "You came for me"

He smiled softly "Of course I did."

"Even though I told you not too."

"Yes"

Your eyes wandered to his arm, which was now in a sling. "You got hurt"

"Yes."

He saw the guilt cross your face and he reached out and placed his hand over the top of yours. You met his eyes again as he spoke.

"It's nothing serious. I got off a lot better than you did. You've been asleep for days."

You looked down at Obi-Wan's hand as it encased yours. "I heard you, talking to me. Telling me to hold on."

Obi-Wan smiled softly. He knew what you were referring too. When he finally got you back to the ship, he reached out to you with the force. He knew there was a connection to the force within you, even if you refused to acknowledge it. That was how you could hear him.

"And you did hold on."

You nodded softly, seemingly lost in thought. Obi-Wan squeezed your hand softly and you looked back to his face. Your eyes remained locked in silence for a moment before he spoke.

"You asked why I cared so much for you" He began, his voice uncertain, knowing the things he wanted to say were meant to stay a secret. Knowing he was going back on his own training and beliefs for simply feeling them.

You shook your head, stopping him "You don't need to tell me Obi-Wan"

Silence fell as your eyes remained locked. You knew how he felt, and he knew how you felt. But that was all it could be. And you both knew it.

In a moment of desperation, before you thought you were going to die, you wanted to hear him say it, just once. But now you were alive, safe again. And those words could no longer be said again.

"It's okay." You said softly, your emotion obvious in your voice "I know."

Obi-Wan smiled, but there was only sadness and regret behind it.

He wanted to tell you so badly, but both of you understood the consequences if he let those emotions take hold of him. You smiled at him, but there was sadness behind it. The same as he held onto.

You both knew how you felt, and you both knew that feeling was worth holing onto, worth saving until you could final feel it freely. But for now, it would remain unsaid.

xx End xx

Not sure how I feel about how this came out, but I hope you enjoyed it!

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @imaginesfire, @onuen, @rexit-mo, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry

Star Wars & Obi-Wan Taglist: @hoeforthefictional, @asgardianhobbit98, @agent-catfish-kenobi, @maellem, @locke-writes, @stargirl-05, @linkxneptune, @skylions-den, @sardonic-the-writer, @emptyflowerpots, @hoodedbirdie, @gatefleet