#hurt my own feelings again
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Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you
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I made myself cry this morning whilst cooking bacon because I was working out some dialogue in my head and now my feelings are hurt. Which is weird because I have never experienced what my characters have.
There’s no pain like the self-inflicted hurt from an author who has to write the angst that they themselves planned in their story. Did I cause this? Yes, but you should still feel bad for me☹️
#ow my feelings#i did this to myself#this is my fault#empathy problems#writing#hurt my own feelings again#why am i like this#right in the feels
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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
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“Oh, Frankenstein! Generous and self-devoted being! What does it avail that I now ask thee to pardon me? I, who irretrievably destroyed thee by destroying all thou lovedst. Alas! he is cold, he cannot answer me.”
#Frankenstein#victor frankenstein#mary shelley#the modern prometheus#the creature#adam frankenstein#frankensteins monster#my art#ah lads I hurt my own fuckin feelings again#I’m so glad I finally got this image out of my head and on to paper#it was a Struggle#I hope u all enjoy#poor Adam#poor Victor#if only if only if only
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Just thinking about Joke seeing Jack with Rose and instead of being jealous, since he has low self-esteem and thinks he is a burden with bad luck who is unlovable and stupid, he'll probably just be really sad about it and think Jack would be really happy with Rose because Rose could make Jack's dreams come true with her wealth and good luck since she is lovable and smart.
Then I start thinking about how he left Jack and Rose on the street last time because he thought they would be better together, but he promised he wouldn't leave Jack this time, so now he's sitting at the table, alone, waiting for Jack to come home, but Jack is too tired to sit and talk because he has been out shopping with Rose all day and looks so happy in all his new clothes in his new job while Joke looks so sad because he probably believes he could leave now and Jack would be fine with Rose because she is beautiful and great and he is bad luck and a burden.
But I want to hug him and tell him that Jack wore HIS color. Jack asked him to stay there. Jack made him promise to never leave. Jack loves him.
He always has.
And he always will.
So I'd rather have a jealous Joke who gets upset that Jack is looking at another person than sad Joke who thinks everyone is better off without him because the thought alone of Joke believing he isn't the absolute best boy in all the land already has me in my feels.
If this is how I'm acting just thinking about sad Joke, I won't be able to handle it if he is actually sad, so I'm begging this show to act like a pre-2022 BL and make Joke ridiculously jealous over nothing. Don't make my boy crumble into himself and start believing the voices in his head that sound a lot like his dad. Don't hurt me like that again.
#jack and joker#u steal my heart#in my feels about what could happen#hurting my own feelings over fictional characters#getting upset over things that have not happened#basically being perfectly normal about this show#don't hurt me again!
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All I can think about is how fucked everyone treats a Shadow Dragon Rook if they choose to save Treviso over Minrathous. Because the decision is sound, you know? Horrible, and hard, but Treviso is this half-broken merchant city. No guard other than the crows, no defenses, no giant floating big brother laser in the sky and one of Thedas' largest collection of mages. And so Rook has to trust their fellow Dragons to protect their home and hope to anything that they can keep the blight from Treviso. Only it's not enough, and despite the fact that Rook is one (1) person, who's only leading because no one else would goddamn do it, who has never even SEEN a dragon before the one at D'Meta's Crossing, and who still managed to fight off one dragon right after a grueling mission and then still have the energy to run off to try and help Minrathous - everyone still seems to blame them. And not just that, but the entire team spends most of the next act with their hearts breaking for Minrathous, and for Neve especially. 'Poor Neve, her home is gone, her people are dead, her life as she knew it is changed forever, poor neve, I know you didn't have a choice Rook but Neve is hurting now'. And I LOVE Neve. I love her. But it is so fucked up that as a Shadow Dragon Rook who was forced to make a horrific choice, who ALSO lost their home, their people, the life they knew- no one ever really bothers to comfort Rook. Or even consider that Rook would be absolutely shattered by what happens to Minrathous. Or fucking furious, because Rook and the goddamn Crows managed to fight off their dragon by the skin of their damn teeth with basically nothing, so how could the Shadow Dragons and the rest of Greater Minrathous not handle theirs! What were they goddamn doing that whole time?!?
The only difference between Rook and Neve is that Rook doesn't have the luxury of fucking off in the middle of a fight for the world to go mourn what they've lost. They have no choice but to pull their shit together and keep going.
And still every time Rook goes to a companion with the broken pieces of themselves in their bloody palms its just. "Oh Rook, how could this have happened to Poor Neve"
#da:v#datv#da:v spoilers#datv spoilers#shadow dragons rook#this is NOT neve hate okay i adore her#and her devastation is true and fair (although i think she and rook should really get to scream it out ngl)#because hurt people hurt people#but for fucks sake the rest of the team like#not even a little bit of dialog about it??? other than lucanis saying like#i know you had to make a choice but damn#poor neve#as if Rook didn't have to sacrifice their own city to save his#ugh#sorry im at that point in a playthrough again and it makes me want to chew glass#someone write a Rook having a core meltdown about how guilty and spiteful and validated and alone SD!Rook has to feel in that aftermath#my girl goes into the music room and just#screams and screams and screams until her throat is hoarse#until she's expelled enough grief from her lungs that she has the space to breathe through the resentment that starts to build#against her team and neve and the shadow dragons and just#everyone#whoo this got away from me a bit but#dense rants
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Thinking about Tomura being your boyfriend and Spinner being his best friend and after the war you and Spinner meet again and you both just hug each other and cry.
#y’all mourn together 😭#heehee I’m hurting my own feelings again#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#league of villains#shigaraki#tomura#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#spinner#shuichi iguchi#shigaraki x reader#tomura x reader
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“Sometimes I dream about you. I memorize every detail of your face like a prayer. Those moments seem so real that I grieve whenever I wake up and your spot next to me is cold. Why did you beg me to kill you? I would’ve stopped. Even in death I cannot escape you. I’m not sure I want to even if I was begging for it.”
w/ @kashisun !! (happy birthday 😭)
#simblr#sims 4 edit#ts4#the sims community#mysims#lethal devotion#marine yes I did make this for ur birthday pls don’t kill me 😭😭#putting marine and I’s oc’s in the most devastating scenarios possible at all times#i imagined this as nie finally being found out by everyone else that shes an assassin that was paid to murder nadia#nadia would be stuck because how can she explain why this murderer is able to walk free and openly be allowed in her bed#but also how can she betray the one person she truly loves??#nadia's people would demand nie be put to death and instead of begging for her life nie would beg for it to end#'i have known nothing but misery and death until i found you. i trust no one else to cleanse and free me from my own damnation'#'i know i dont deserve it but paint me heaven with my own blood'#'i cant think of anything more godly than dying by your hand"#nadia would have to stand over her holding the sword to her throat barely being able to breathe staring down at nie sobbing at her feet#but nie would never look so peaceful feeling the blade press against her skin#nadia would be screaming inside PLEADING for nie to tell her stop that's all it would take and she would stop in a heartbeat#she'd figure it out later because at least then she'd have the love of her life ALIVE AND BREATHING#but the words never came instead there would be smothering silence while nie's body lay lifeless on the ground#but Nadia knows why nie never stopped her no matter how much it hurts this was an act of love because it’s what nie wanted#NIE YOU BETTER HAUNT HER ASS#knowing nadia she would spend her entire life learning necromancy just to bring nie back to life#probably think about killing her again too for putting her through that 😭
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You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good
#destiny 2#destiny the game#destiny spoilers#the final shape#the final shape spoilers#micah 10#ikora rey#eris morn#mara sov#elsie bray#savathûn#we're really quite spoiled for women with amazing voices#you know what we're Not spoiled for?#ikora rey being allowed to be part of the fucking story#look its a fantastic expansion ok.#its just incredibly galling that my least favorite thing is Also happening alongside it.#once again ikora gets shoved out of the limelight in favor of everyone else#gets relegated back to emotional support#is allowed one Tiny outburst of her own hurt feelings only for it to be swept under the rug because there are always Bigger Problems#why didnt we get to hear from ophiuchus?#we got beautiful interactions between every other guardian and their ghost#literally everyone else got a nightmare gauntlet exploring their insecurities and flaws#but no ikora gets to quietly meditate and fail to commune with the traveler#and then cayde gets to contact it instead#all i wanted this expansion was some emotional resolution for ikora#i was so excited after her reunion scene with cayde i was like oh god we're really doing it!#but no. no no.#the sexism of it. the racism of it. the misogynoir#im so tired this has happened in every goddamn fandom ive been in for the past decade#sourghost.jpeg
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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
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thhtis might just be a big pet peeve to me but i hate when people write kjsr as someone cold or possessive, i always viewed her character as someone who is actually so soft when it comes to love. i cant see her saying anything awful with intention to her s/o and just prob cherishes each moment and intimacy.
yeah, sara is the victim of some INSANE mischaracterisation... i was informed that some people thought of sara as a karen, of all fucking things, and the psychic damage i took from that statement was unfathomable. it was so horrendously insulting i had to put my phone down and breathe for a solid minute, because sara? being a karen? the peak of entitlement? be so fr. sara struggles to even accept her place within the kujou clan, despite being its golden child. she doesn't know how to be entitled to even love, let alone anything else.
there is a quote, i forget by who, which goes "(s)he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved, and is forced to improvise", and i think it describes her so well. sara was raised to be takayuki's perfect weapon first, and a person second. for sara, to be a 'kujou' is to be the untouchable general, the prodigal child, the crowfeather kaburaya which heralds nothing but victory for the kujou clan. her place in her 'family' is intrinsically tied to what she can give to them, not who she is as a person. her image of her own worth is so entangled with being needed that she doesn't know how to be anything else. she explicitly states that she has never given any thought to her personal aspirations. never. that's so insane and heartbreaking to me like... my love, you are more than what you can give. so i agree with you on the part that sara would be so, so tender when it comes to love. this is uncharted territory, and she's learning as she goes, but you could never be unloved by her. she knows what that's like, and she could never hurt you the same way.
anyway, live laugh love kujou sara. i've been in the kjsr camp for 3 fucking years and i'll continue to be here until the day i die
#sev.responses#kujou sara#sara has such a special place in my heart genuinely#my lovely songbird you deserve the sky and all the stars#(i will kill kujou takayuki with my bare hands)#i think the reason i love kjsr so much is that her tragedy is so relatable in a way (excluding the war stuff ofc)#to always feel out of place in your own family with people who should love you regardless......... i understand#as a queer person in a homophobic but otherwise healthy and loving family#the disconnect is jarring at times and the guilt for being the way i am eats away at me if i let it fester#if they knew me the real honest me it would hurt them. it's a truth that's difficult to live with sometimes#but then i remember there are people who love me for who i am and it becomes a little bearable again#and that's what i want for sara i guess. the comfort of being known and being loved regardless#uh oh i've gotten soggy in these tags haha gotta blast
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When I was little I thought one of our cats Sockan (translation: the sock) was a tiger. She was more bright orange/red IRL too compared to photos
#she had no voice but rather sounded like that one video of a baby lion barely getting a sound out#she demanded to be fed fish daily every midnight on her throne#(an ugly neon green wool? armchair with strange black pattern from the 70s that we couldnt throw out despite it being broken)#(because again that was sockans throne)#she was also a self identified poor little meow meow#and pretended to be hurt to make my dad feel bad so hed pay special attention to her#while acting just fine when he wasnt looking and around my mom#she was born in the super old firewood stove in the kitchen on my birthday 7 years before me#and she drew her last breath at age 21 wrapped in a blanket in my moms lap#out in the garden on the porch swing on a beautiful sunny day#so my mom was right there with her for both her first and last day#the grey cat seen vaguely to the right was her dad bamse#but he deserves his own post.#silvi talks
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Pink and blue roses lining the path The flagstone path that leads to nowhere To nowhere Decided for now
#asoiafedit#valyrianscrolls#thenorthsource#ned stark#valyriansource#lyanna and the starklings#jon lyannason first of his name#brothers and sisters#fathers and daughters#rani graphics#r+l=j#the lyric is actually ‘pink and red roses’ but i changed it to blue for obvious reasons.#there is not a picture of jon here. and yet he is in every frame.#also once again i only post for southeast asia.#also do you see the tie between ‘silent with grief’ and ‘sorrow too deep for words’#i hurt my own feelings with that
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Oh Crowley...
Crowley version here shop this print here and here.
#woke up and decided to hurt my own feelings again#nothing lasts forever#but apparently the dread will last#good omens#good omens 2#good omens 3#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#michael sheen#david tennant#aziraphale x crowley#neil gaiman#good omens fandom#good omens fanart#good omens art#and they're not talking
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THIS GAME IS GOING TO KILL ME DEAD
#professor layton#luke triton#I WAS LITERALLY ENTERING THIS SCREEN WHEN I THOUGHT 'WHAT IS HE AT THE STATUE OR SOMETHING' AND THERE HE WAS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#IT HURT ME PHYSICALLY#my coward ass switched the game off on the first frame i saw him cause I WAS NOT PREPARED EMOTIONALLY#AND THEN I SWITCHED THE GAME BACK ON HOURS LATER ONLY TO REALIZE HE HAS AN ANIMATION AND NOW I AM NOT PREPARED EMOTONALLY AGAIN#cause like.... he's already getting disillusioned in his friendship with layton on many sides#but it was when talking about this statue that he kind of gets a hint that he might see the world in Layton#but it doesn't go both ways to the same extent cause layton just has his own life#that sort of sobering 'oh the parental figure is human too'#and now he just fears to outright lose this familial connection#and when Layton switches the topic far too soon the music cuts out before Luke answers with a smile and it feels#like he has to very quickly suppress the sad and get back on track#i am in shambles
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Let me assign you an affection language.
A Knife Called Grief You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.
[yoinked from iobartach]
#[inch resting]#ooc#dash game#[reminds me of a post I saw about Miguel's infidelity-- I can't find it anymore but basically it boiled down to#his betrayal of Gabriel and Xina being a sort of betrayal of himself. Now the OP was also trying to make sense of the comic's writing as it#also mischaracterized Xina (per their words)�� but since Miguel knew Xina since they were young and she protected him from bullies‚ and#Miguel grew up shielding Gabriel from their parents‚ his betrayal and subsequent estrangement from them for someone new‚ someone his brothe#loved‚ and also apparently supported Alchemax whereas Xina was much quicker to criticize it‚ can be seen as Miguel trying to shove down the#vulnerable‚ hurt‚ HUMAN side of himself to make way for the idealized version he tries to protect as a corpo snob.#Which is an interesting viewpoint considering post-forcible-genome-splicing‚ comics!Miguel was also desperate to prove his humanity. He see#himself as an abomination‚ a freak. So how do we reconcile this with movie!Miguel‚ who we admittedly don't know much of his mental state#other than he is basically having The Worst Fucking Day Of His Life Constantly due to grief and leading hundreds of Peter Parkers?#I guess in my own characterization‚ Miguel is trying desperately to shut down that vulnerability‚ BE the inhuman juggernaut‚ the leader‚#but at the same time time‚ esp post-BTSV‚ is so ridden by his mistakes and sins and endless list of shortcomings‚ ALONG WITH the grief for#his daughter that he doesn't seem keen to heal from‚ that he's simultaneously trying to REconnect with that. Figure out what and who he is#outside of work‚ outside of Canon Events‚ outside of everything that Miles took and shook upside down. But that's difficult when#you're so determined to shut that down too‚ huh? Spider-Man can't do both. Not this time. Miguel is going to have to learn one day that he#needs to allow himself to FEEL human instead of constantly shutting it down or drowning it out. Maybe then he'll BE human again too.]#[🍻 if you read this far; I fear this was largely incoherent]
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