#hurrry

[noramthe]

Venti x reader

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VENTI💚

Summery

You celebrate venti birthday. But maybe you worked a little to hard that you become really tired the whole time

Warnings

Fluff. Celebrating Venti birthday. Written with f!reader in mind. Kinda of comfort

Note

I’m so nervous first time sharing my writing><

This is so self indulgent but hope you enjoy nonetheless

Today is a special day. It’s your beloved’s partner’s birthday! You have been planning on gifts and dates for weeks.

You thought about how in your birthday, Venti made you a cake himself. So you decided to return the favor! But that’s not all.

You planned on spoiling him today.

While you are at the kitchen of your shared serenity pot, making the cake and smiling thinking about venti's reaction.

He always says that you don’t need to do anything on his birthday. But, how is that fair when he always does something for yours?

The place was decorated with happy birthday balloons and dandelions and cecilia flowers everywhere and candles.

You worked really hard on everything. You put the cake in the microwave. And then you started to realize how tired you are.

Though tired as you are stubborn i guess. You pushed through. This birthday has to be really special for venti.

You thought as a motivator for you to continue.

3 Hours later

Venti came back to the serenity pot humming.

Though everything seems really quiet, he ignored it and pushed the door to the front door.

Darkness.

The house was all dark. Wired? You and him never really turned it off. What’s go-

Suddenly the lights open and there was a loud popping sound.

“Surprise!!”

The familiar and lovely soft voice of his beloved. You came through. It didn’t escape him how tired you sound even when you tried to hide it.

“Woah!! Windbloom? This sure was a surprise”

His voice soft and full of love.

You giggled and smiled brightly to him.

“Happy birthday venti!”

He walked in your direction. And then put one hand in your waist and the other at your cheek

“You did all this for me..?”

Whispering in your ear. He turned to face you, his eyes looking at yours with love.

“How could i have been so lucky?”

He said again. Seemingly with a deeply appreciative tone. It made you chuckle from embarrassment of how deep your feelings are

“No Venti. I’m the lucky one. You deserve more then this”

You put your hand on top of the one on your cheek. Feeling his warm hand. Feeling his rough fingers from playing the lyre. Feeling his soft palm.

You spent the day at your house on the serenity pot. Celebrating together and playfully putting cake cream on each other’s face while giggling.

Everything went by so fast. It was already night time.

Venti took your hand and pulled you until you’re in your bedroom bed.

“Venti, why are you dragging me here?”

“To get some shut eye. Duh!”

“But.. the day still didn’t finish. We could go to other places and celeb-“

“Nope! We can do it in another day. For now, you have to rest”

Venti jumped into bed and pulled your arm for you to join him.

You sighed. You really wanted to not give in. But you were so exhausted you didn’t have the energy to try and argue with him. So you let him drag you with him to bed

“There we go~”

Softly saying it in a way that makes you feel more at ease. He put his arms around you and cuddled you closer to his chest

You shuffled a bit to get comfortable. He waited until you finished and adjusted his hold on you.

Hearing his breath so close to you was so comforting. You almost fell asleep immediately.

“Thnaks for today, windbloom. I had a really fun time being with you”

His Voice was muffled from his the bottom of his face being in the top of your head.

“Of course, my love. I just wish i had time to do all I planned. Sorry i didn’t have the chance to.”

“Don’t apologize my dear. Your rest is way more important.”

He hummed and rubbed his hand softly up and down your waist. It was so relaxing. Your eyes slowly closing and you feel like you’re going to dreamland.

You look forward to continuing your celebration tomorrow while you’re at more energy.

You smiled. Just thinking about how much fun venting had today. And how you will see him tomorrow as well hopefully, having more fun then today.

Venti then brought his other hand to touch your hair. The final straw to your already sleepy head to finally have a nice rest.

“Goodnight. My windbloom”

[seaofgoldensand]

YOU'RE TELLING ME I GOTTA WAIT UNTIL WINTER TO SEE SEASON 3 ALSKDJFLKSDFS PLEASE I'M HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I GUESS THAT'S FINE I GET TIME TO PREPARE BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD HELP ASDLKFJSLK

[bibleofficial]

i love telling people that i’m being ‘stabbed’ & ‘murdered’ & ‘bleeding profusely’ whenever they’re coming to unlock their door or let me in the building

[bunnyb34r]

Ruh roh... power's flickering

[oddishfeeling]

just waiting for the magnesium to kick in

[buckdefender]

Eddie: Tommy, you got to help us.

Tommy: With what?

Eddie: Getting Buck to go to sleep. He hasn't slept in like two days. He'll listen to you.

Tommy: Alright.

*At Buck's apartment*

Tommy: Evan, go to bed.

Buck: No, I can do what I want. I'm a grown man.

Tommy: *Gives a Tommy look*

Buck: I'm....going to bed cause I want to, not because you told me to. *Hurrries up to bed*

Eddie: Thanks.

Tommy: Anytime.

[howlingday]

Jaune Wants Nuggies

Jaune: THE HUNDRED NUGGET CHALLENGE?!

Jaune: WITH A FAMILY OF EIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?! COME ON!

Jaune: YOU'RE GONNA BE SHITTING LIKE CRAZY LATER!

Jaune: HURRY UP WITH THIS GOD DAMN ORDER!

Jaune: HURRRY!

[cardierreh15]

Drunk In Love

My first ATJ One Shot ❤️ I am manifesting for him to leave grandmama soon 🙄 Anyway, Enjoy ❤️💋

Side note: Yes this is based off of Beyoncé’s song. If youn’ like it, kick rocks barefoot ion care. 🐝

I do not give anyone consent to copy, repost and/or translate my work!!!

Warning 18+: SMUT‼️ Intoxicated Sex , Masturbation (Male Receiving) , Oral Sex (Male Receiving) , Doggy Style , Public Sex , Dirty Talk .

Pairing: Aaron Taylor-Johnson x Kensley (Black!Plus Size Female)

Description: A Drunk lovebirds have a little fun in the men’s restroom.

Word Count: 3.8K

Song: Drunk In Love by Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z

She stood in front of the mirror, with the sink held tightly in her grasp to keep her balance. Just a few minutes before, she had emptied all the contents in her stomach due to her excessive drinking. She was such a fool, listening to her boyfriend. She was just trying to play his game and prove a point that she could hang with him when it came to throwing back a bottle.

But he proved her wrong, as he often did.

Sniffing hard and clearing the disgust that sat in the back of her throat, she spit the taste of barf into the sink and turned on the faucet. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

‘Kensley? You good in there baby?’ He shouted over the booming music outside, knocking on the door.

She kind of wanted to tell him the truth. Tell him that this was all a bad idea and that he won this open bet. But she had her wits about her, even though she was still somewhat drunk. How would he know?

‘I-I’m fine Aaron-’ She hiccuped before her body shuddered at the familiar queasiness. ‘I’m OK baby! I’m just f-fixing myyyy make upppp!’ She said in a slurred manner.

And that she did. She pulled out her lash spoolie and fluffed them out before going over her pretty lips with brown liner and clear lip gloss. To seal the deal, she popped some tic-tacs in her mouth to combat the awful smell of tacos she’d regurgitated just a few minutes before.

‘Hurrry up sexy! I miss yooou!’ Aaron whined on the other side of the door.

A silly drunken grin spread across her face before she carefully pushed herself from the aid of the counter. Kensley stood there for a moment as her world danced around her violently. She groaned in despair, ‘Focus… just… walk.’

That should be easy right?

Putting one step of the other, she didn’t realize that she was walking in this awkward flamingo-like way. Had anyone else been in that bathroom they’d call her out for looking stupid as hell. But when she made it to the door, she sighed in relief before allowing her body weight to push it open.

On the other side of the door, was her hunk of a boyfriend, Aaron. He was leaning up tall against the wall with heavy, dark blue dilated eyes. When he laid his eyes on her, a sinister grin graced his face; revealing the fangs his smile possessed. The red lighting in the bar caused him to look more like the devil himself.

She’d even almost mistaken his curls for horns.

‘Theeeere you arrre, princess.’ He purred as she damn near stumbled into his arms. His large hands instantly grabbed her rounded face and brought her face up to his to meet him in a disgusting kiss. Their mouths were wide open for their tongues to explore and make room. She moaned into his mouth as her hands wrapped around his wrists for stability. Otherwise, they’d both be on the floor.

Gently pulling away with her lip gloss and liner completely ruined and now plastered on his face, a whiny giggle came from her lips.

‘Mmm.. I taste those tacos from earlier… and a shit ton of tequila… you did it—’ Damn that voice was making her weak in the knees already! ‘Didn’t you?’ Her face was still in his hands.

An exaggerated gasp slipped from her lips and she instantly clutched her chest. ‘Diiiid whaaaah? I wen’ to freshen uppp, Aaron. I had to peeee.’ She lied, running her tongue over her lips. ‘You have my lip gloss on your faaace.’ She giggled and reached up to rub the sticky substance off of his clean shaven face.

Aaron never let go of his hold but instead leaned in closer and did a close examination on her big brown eyes that were shining in the red hue. He glared into them, searching for a sign. And as soon as she shaky pupils glanced to the left, he let out a loud yelp.

‘AH!’

The outburst scared the shit out of her. ‘Aaron!’ Kensley snatched her body away from him and hit him with her crossbody purse. ‘You scared me!’

‘I knew it! I fucking knew you were in there puking your little heart out! Face it my little deceiver– you can’t hang with meee.’

Kensley did her damndest to hold her weight up. She folded her arms across her chest as her heavy head fell to the side, ‘How you’know?’

‘You think your tic-tacs are doing enough justice? You know I’m good with my tongue.’ He smirked.

That he was.

His large hand instantly grabbed hers out of her fold and gently pulled her into his embrace. ‘Are you gonna give up now?’ His free hand went behind her and grabbed a handful of her ass; his fingertips slightly teasing at the silky thong that protected her pretty pussy.

She whined at his delicious hold and brought her bottom lip between her teeth, ‘Wha do I get if I give up? I’m not a quit-ter!’

He glanced to the side in thought before his face scrunched up in a playful manner, ‘Baby you already lost the bet. It’s not up to you about what you get now.’

Kensley rolled her eyes so hard she thought they’d never stop rolling! She reached up to rub her eyes with her fists, completely disregarding her lashes. Even after that, her eyes still had trouble focusing on the man in front of her. ‘Wha do you get then?’ She pouted.

Aaron raised a brow as he sucked his lips into his mouth, sizing his woman before him. ‘I can think of a few things.’ He leaned down to whisper in her ear, ‘If you’re up for it.’

I've been drinkin', I've been drinkin'.

I get filthy when that liquor get into me

I've been thinkin', I've been thinkin'

Why can't I keep my fingers off it?

Baby, I want you, na-na

Why can't I keep my fingers off you?

Baby, I want you, na-na.

There it was again, another fucking bet. She wasn’t about to lose this one. It didn’t matter what great lengths she had to go. She was going to make him eat his words.

‘Another bet babyyy?’ She groaned and rolled her eyes again, this time a little softer. ‘Wha is ih?’

That same dark smile returned to his face and his gaze darkened once more. If he’d been a stranger, she was sure he would've freaked her out. But she always gave into that glare. She could’ve been in the middle of saving the world but that look always sparked something deep within her that she could never control around him.

He took her small hand and guided it down to the zipper of his jeans and palmed it there. He was semi-hard. A warning or a welcome?.

A childish gasp came from her chest as she covered her lips with her free hand and looked around in worry. ‘Aaron! Here? Now?’ But that didn’t stop her from squeezing it gently in her grasp.

Letting out a quiet hiss, he licked his lips and groaned softly, ‘Of course not here baby…’ He turned his head towards the men’s room and jerked it towards the door.

It was in this moment where Kensley was sure she was sober as hell. ‘But there's nothing but men in here babe. What if someone hears us?’

There were only a handful of chicks in this bar and all were way too wasted to even get up and go pee. Anyone would think to go into the women’s bathroom but no, Aaron had other ideas.

‘And if they do? So?’

Her mouth fell slightly to speak but she was too stunned! She couldn’t lie, she was pretty turned on right now. ‘OK wha-’

Aaron let out a loud huff and scooped her up with his arms beneath her ass.

Kensley squeaked as she felt herself being lifted up in the air without her own accord. Her crazed drunken eyes searched the room to see if anyone was watching this but nope. They were too involved in their conversations, the music and drinks.

He kicked the swing door open. She was met with the strong stench of piss and the same eerie red lighting. He carried her all the way to the handicap stall where he knew they’d be able to utilize the space there better. Then, he gracefully placed her down before she regained her balance in her spaghetti strapped heels. He turned to pull the stall door close and locked it.

We be all night

Last thing I remember

Is our beautiful bodies grindin' up in that club

Drunk in love

We Be ALL NIGHT!

Only the sound of speakers bamming against the walls could be heard in the restroom. Other than that, pure silence between the two.

Turning around to face her, she instantly froze in his gaze. He eyed her like a piece of meat and honestly, she was feeling that. The desire to feel like prey instead of the predator for once. His bright blue eyes began to journey from her gorgeous face, to her breast, chubby torso, those widened hips, those yummy thighs, her legs and finally her toes.

Kensley squeezed her thighs together.

‘I knew this dress would be a bad idea.’ she giggled drunkenly and took a step back as he took a step forward. It was a black short bodycon that was cut low at the cleavage to reveal the peaks and valleys of her supple breasts.

There was no way he’d be able to resist her all night with this on.

Then I fill the tub up halfway

Then ride it with my surfboard

Surfboard, surfboard

Grainin' on that wood, grainin'-grainin' on that wood

I'm swervin' on that, swervin'-swervin' on that,

Big body been servin' all this

Swerve, surfin' all in this good-good (Hahaha)

‘Oh? Is that so?’ He asked as he began to undo his belt.

‘Ye-yeah!’ She swallowed as she did her best to play her part and not giggle. ‘I mean look at you… You’re a mess!’

A scoff rumbled in his chest as he took another step forward. ‘Not as messy as you’re going to be.’

‘Aaroonnn!’ She whined once more.

‘Mmm. Keep saying my name like that baby.’ He hissed at her as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.

She glanced down to see his now very hard member being held by the prison of his pants and boxers. She shuddered, stepping back once again but this time squeezing her thighs together as she did so to ease that tingling between her thighs.

‘Aarooon.’ She purred out.

He let out a gentle groan and stopped in his tracks. His head fell to the side before bringing up his hand and motioning his index finger towards himself.

At his command, her legs moved before her brain could process it. Sounds of her heels clicked upon the tiled floor, closing in that space between them both. One hand reached up to grab the side of her face while the other gently wrapped around her throat.

He forced her gaze on his. Aaron leaned in, his pointy nose grazing over her wide one as his eyes glanced down to her parted lips. They looked so damn soft. Still somewhat sticky from all the kisses and the lip gloss. He wanted more. So he obliged.

I want your body right here.

Daddy, I want you right now.

Can't keep your eyes off my fatty.

Daddy, I want you.

Kensley didn’t fight him one bit. She loved the slow burn when it came to their sex. Her lips burned with a fever that could only be cured by the taste of his. And when their lips finally met, she damn near melted in his hold. She hummed against his tongue as she reached down between the both of them and peeled the hem of his boxers down along with his jeans.

She didn’t hesitate to grab the warm member that instantly heated up her palm and began to massage it slowly.

Aaron ripped his lips away before letting out a shuddered ‘Ohh.’ And resting his forehead against hers. ‘Fuck.’ He begged.

Her grip on his tightened a little further as she pushed and pulled at him. Then, she used her other hand to grab his droopy balls. He tensed up at the sudden sensitivity, causing his grip around his throat to tighten just a little. She didn’t mind though, in fact, it only encouraged her to kick it up a notch.

Pulling her hands away, she backed up from his grip gently and placed a teasing peck beneath his jaw line before dropping to her knees. His gaze followed her every movement. A small smirk quivered on his face as she made herself comfortable on that floor. He watched as she strategically pulled her goddess braids up into a ponytail. The man was practically going nuts with the thought of feeling her hot mouth.

Once done, he watched her place kisses over his thighs before using the flattening of her tongue to lick from beneath his balls and then up his uncut shaft. ‘Aah.’ Aaron sighed out as his pretty blue eyes fluttered close and his head fell back.

‘Jeez—‘ he sputtered

She didn’t take her time tonight. She instantly wrapped around the tip of his dick and began to suck as if her life was on the line. The taste of saltiness tickled at her tastebuds. He never tasted so damn good.

Eyes rolling to the back of his head, he let out a string of curse words while the love of his life devoured him whole. Bobbing her head up and down as she fumbled and toyed with his balls, just edging him on further. Every once in a while, Kensley would force him to the back of her throat gargle her throat and gag up for him.

At this point, Aaron was a moaning, shaky mess. And she was covered in her own slimy sticky spit. Grabbing her ponytail tightly, ‘Hold still baby. Fuck!’ he began to thrust his hips forward into her mouth as she stared up at him with those pretty full lashes. ‘Fuuuck baby I love that pretty mouth.’ He groaned before he stilled his hips where his full length was almost all the way down her throat.

‘Augh, that’s my girl! Ooh shit!’ He praised as she held it there for a moment longer than she pleased. But she learned to breathe with her nose. But it didn’t stop her eyes from tearing up. Finally, she pressed her hands against his thighs and he retreated his hips. ‘Goddammit baby.’

Before standing up, she spit her sticky saliva back on his fully erected dick. With the rest of it dribbling and bubbling down her chin and breasts, she giggled happily as her man planted wet kisses at the nape of her neck and her cleavage. Kensley whimpered softly as he sank his teeth into her brown skin without warning. ‘Aaron.’

He let out a guttural growl before turning her around so damn fast she almost lost her footing. His lips returned to her neck and shoulder as he began to lift the hem of her dress gently before curling his fingers into the hips of her thong and tugging it down gently.

‘Wall. Now.’

Without a rebuttal, she quickly waddled over to the stall wall with her panties wrapped around her thick thighs. Aaron motioned his finger in a circular motion for her to face the wall. Thus, exposing that voluptuous ass of hers. So round, wide and adorned with dimples. Another shudder rumbled in his throat as he reached down to stroke at his erected dick. He watched as she swayed her hips, and bounce her ass for him.

‘Good lord baby.’ he walked up behind her, letting out a deep breath against her neck. ‘You’re going to drive me fucking up a wall one day with all this ass.’ He landed a smack against it, earning a pleasured screech from her lips.

‘Well what are you gonna do with all of it until then?’ Kensley purred.

‘What any man does when they love their woman– breed it!’

Her silly grin never faded as he used his foot to spread her ankles a little bit more. Adjusting his hips and having to squat a little because of his extreme height, Aaron gently arched her up against the wall before effortlessly finding her sticky slit and sliding in.

The couple let out a pleasured groan in sync.

Aaron teasingly thrusted his hips forward, sinking deeper and deeper into her. She threw her head back, nails clawed into the black stall as he reached around her and pulled her tits out the low-cut of her dress.

Once he was as far as he could go, he pulled his hips away gently only to slam them back into her once again. This earned him a high pitched gasp as his large hands began to fondle her breasts then, bringing her hardened nipples between his finger tips.

‘Ooooh ahhh!’ She crooned out.

‘Ooh don’t whine baby. Daddy’s got you.’ He growled in her ear before biting at the cartilage gently and thrusting his hips a little faster now to create friction with his rhythm.

It didn’t take Aaron long to start railing her the way he desired. His hands had long moved from her precious breasts to her waist where she had bent over a little further so he could get the perfect view. Thumbing those cute little dimples in her lower back. Any tighter on his hold and he’d inflict pain on her pretty brown skin.

His eyes furrowed as his lips parted, ‘Hooo fuck baby damn, i love that pussy!’

‘Fuuuck, this pussy loves you too big daddy! Oh, yes yes! Fuck me just like that! Aah!’ She held on nice and tight to that stall wall as he ravaged her from behind and took what belonged to him.

But it wasn't enough for Aaron to have her begging and pleading, no he had to break her down and build her back again. He had to tease her.

He retracted his hips, pulling his dick out with a desperate hiss.

‘Oh no,’ Kensley whined out, ‘Not this again!’

Aaron chuckled darkly and nodded, ‘Yes this again mama.’ He slammed right back inside of her nice and deep before pulling back out again. His notorious act in the bedroom.

‘Augh!’

‘I know baby, I know.’ He almost sounded empathetic. But when he did this over and over again, it didn’t take her long to unravel in his hold. He reached down between her thighs and began to toy with her erected nub.

Her knees buckled and she let out a loud yelp, ‘Aaarh! Fuck me, Aaron! You’re gonna make me cum!’ She was so overcome with pleasure she just didn't know what to do with her legs. So she found herself rubbing her feet against his legs and stomping them about.

‘That’s it baby! Fuck you’re so fucking sexy. Look at me while you cum. Look at daddy!’ He grabbed a fistful of her braids and tugged her hair back and began to ram his hips into her even faster. Even harder.

‘OoooooOOOOH! GOD!! DAMMIT!’ She wailed as she stared up at him, tears filling her eyes as if she saw heaven itself.

‘Urgh! Fuuu—‘ he groaned out as he pressed on. He wasn’t through with her yet. He wanted her to come out of here with a little piece of him. Or maybe thousands. ‘Shit!’ He hissed before landing another slap against her ass.

Too deep in heavenly pleasure, Kensley was unable to feel the sting this time. Her eyes began to roll as he rolled his hips into her once more, hitting a new angle that could instantly send her spiraling once more. It felt like an erotic itch that was being scratched with pressure.

‘Aaron! Yes! Please don’t stop! Please fucking—urghhhh ahhh! Mmmm!’ One would’ve thought she was in pain but it was so far from that.

‘You like that?’

As if she weren’t dizzy enough from her intoxication, he was fucking her into oblivion. ‘Fucking God yes!’

Aaron chuckled as he grabbed her arms and held them tight, pressing her firm against the stall divider. He went faster, harder; balls violently slapping her clit and taking place of where his fingers once were.

‘Uhhh baby. Shit, Kensley I’m gonna cum—baby! Haaa.‘ Aaron announced as chills slipped up and down her spine. ‘Kensley—‘

Suddenly, someone stumbled into the restroom loudly and drunkenly singing whatever was now playing on the karaoke machine.

Instinctively, Aaron reached down and placed his hand on her mouth. But just because they were restricted from making any noise, didn’t mean he was going to stop. Hell, he was almost done!

If anything, being forced to shut up while her lover fucked her brains out tickled her fancy quite well.

Kensley looked back as Aaron’s thrusts became rugged. His face was contorted in something much more beautiful. His mouth had fallen agape, cheeks reddened, and nose flaring. His thick brows pulled into one as his hips came to a halt.

With each throb, Kensley could feel that sensitive and tense muscle stretch her out; sending long rich ropes of his cum right against her cervix.

His chest heaved, tightened as it rose and fell. A harsh, ‘Mmmpff! Goood—!’ Slipped from his lips.

The drunken individual continued to loudly sing, as they took a piss.

Pulling her hips away, she stood up straight and turned around to face him before bringing his face down into a sweet kiss.

Once the pair had gotten themselves cleaned up, they walked out of the stall together where they were instantly greeted by the drunken guest.

They were now sober as hell.

‘Aye! Wh— yall doin’ in that stall? Were yall.. fugggin’?’ The man laughed.

Aaron made a face and glanced down at Kensley before grabbing her hand. Instead of entertaining the drunk, the couple just walked around him and headed for the door.

‘Oooooh! Yall wer fuggginnn! Dass naistyyy!’ The man exclaimed as they walked out of the restroom.

The couple found their table and went to the dance floor to enjoy the music. Aaron leaned down to whisper in her ear, ‘How’s my kids holding up?’ He smirked.

Kensley giggled, ‘Fine I would assume. I haven’t felt any trying to escape yet so I think we’re in the clear.’

‘Good. Be prepared for when we make it back to the hotel because we’ll all night.’

[satansapostle6]

X

Josh Futturman has always had a crush on his beautiful coworker, the sharp, sexy scientist he thought he could only dream of talking to.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Sexual content.

Part Four

Part Five: My Balls, Your Court

Josh knew that he had to make a move with Brynne, and soon. He knew this partly because for the last few days, Ray had continuously been telling him, ‘You gotta make the first move’.

The ball was in his court, and he needed to act quickly. So, he was trying to work up the courage to do so. After all, he knew for a fact that Brynne was single, but he also knew that women like that didn’t tend to stay single for long if they didn’t want to.

He knew that the annual Kronish Ball, a formal office party before Christmas, was coming up that Friday. So, he figured, that would be the perfect opportunity to ask Brynne out on a date, or at least hang out with her at the hall if he couldn’t get his shit together and ask her out. Ray was heavily encouraging this, and so was Dr. Kronish, for that matter.

That afternoon, Josh Futturman had finally worked up the courage to head up to the lab a little while before leaving work that day, when he found that there might’ve been a slight problem with that plan. As he headed towards the lab, he saw a couple of scientists leaving in a hurrry, looking shell-shocked.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” the young woman breathed.

“It’s okay, it’s fine, we just have to fix it,” the young man told her.

“Hey,” Josh frowned as they looked at him, “What’s going on? Is Dr. Camillo in one of his moods again?”

The female lab assistant quickly shook her head, seeming terrified. “No. It’s Dr. Johansson,” she informed him in a hushed tone.

“Dr. Johansson?” Josh said in surprise.

“Yeah. Someone messed up a bunch of data, and now we have to start running the tests all over again. Set us back two months. She’s fucking livid,” the male lab assistant explained.

Josh said nothing, cautiously approaching the lab, half expecting a war zone. He walked in on Brynne scolding one of the underlings, presumably the one responsible for the mistake, sounding disturbingly like Dr. Kronish on the rare occasions where he would actually get angry.

“No, that’s not what I’m asking you,” Brynne stated, seething beneath her calm exterior. “Did you, or did you not, forget to check the input dates?” she demanded.

“I… Forgot to check the input dates,” the young man told her, barely able to look her in the eye.

“And how is that possible?” Brynne interrogated him. “Did the forms not specifically say to double check, triple check, fucking quadruple check, the input dates, because there might be some confusion on that?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, “They did.”

“And did Dr. Fernandez not specifically tell you to notify him before submitting the reports?” she concluded.

“Yeah,” the guy nodded. “He did.”

“Well then, why the fuck did you not do it?” she demanded.

Josh stood there awkwardly in silence, never having once seen her this angry before.

“I don’t know,” he murmured, avoiding her gaze.

“‘I don’t know’?!” Brynne repeated. “‘I don’t know’ is not an acceptable response for someone working in a laboratory! You’re curing disease, not making a fucking McChicken!”

Her voice had a terrifying echo throughout the empty room, and although Josh was paralyzed with fear, he now knew that Brynne’s rage was completely justified from what he heard.

“I’m gonna ask you again, because I hired you, and am therefore responsible if it turns out I hired someone completely incompetent. Now, why… in the hell… did you not have Dr. Fernandez check your work before you submitted it?” she prompted.

“I…” he paused, seemingly realizing how careless he sounded. “I thought it was good. So I just submitted it.”

“Unbelievable,” Brynne muttered, “That was careless, lazy, and above all, just arrogant. You cost us two months worth of testing, and thousands of dollars to restart the entire process, with one little careless mistake. You realize that, at a place like this, I can fire you for that?”

He was quiet for a moment, then responded.

“Yeah.”

“Now, I’m pissed, but you realize I could have you scrubbing the fucking toilets for Josh over there?!”

Josh gulped nervously, realizing he was now a part of the conversation.

“Josh. How would you like a day off, hmm?” Brynne asked, obviously a rhetorical question. “How would you like a nice day off, while Brennan here cleans up a whole building worth of shit?”

Josh just frowned awkwardly. “Uh… That sounds nice.”

“See, if I was an asshole like Dr. Camillo, you’d be scrubbing shit right now,” Brynne pointed out, “You’d be scrubbing shit for the rest of your career, and you’d still have to thank me, because working in Dr. Kronish’s lab is still a privilege. But I’m gonna be beyond fair, and have you personally run up to Dr. Kronish’s office and tell him why we can’t go public for another two months, if we’re lucky.”

“Alright,” he nodded, not having anything else to add.

Josh was suddenly pushed aside as Dr. Camillo barged into the room, fuming.

“Is this the jackass that fucked all the data to shit, and cost us another two months?!” he boomed.

“Stu… I swear to fucking God,” Brynne Johansson warned. “Get the fuck out!”

“I don’t work for you! I work for Dr. Kronish,” he argued.

“Oh yeah? Go and fucking tell Kronish you’re pissing me the fuck off right now, and see what he says!” she suggested. “Do it! I fucking dare you!”

Josh and Lucas Brennan were both equally terrified for their lives as they watched Dr. Camillo rush out of the room with his tail between his legs. Brynne turned back to her employee, about past her breaking point.

“Brennan. Go tell Dr. Kronish what happened, specifically your part in it, and then go work on restarting everything,” Brynne exhaled slowly. “If I hear you disregard anything you’re told again, you’re fired. If I talk to Dr. Kronish later today and he says you never told him the full story, you’re fired. Understood?”

“Yeah,” Brennan nodded quickly, “Understood.”

“Go,” she barked, not wanting him in her sight for any longer.

Josh quickly stepped aside for Brennan as he quickly rushed out of the room. He looked over at Brynne, who just stood in the middle of the empty room, one hand on her hip, and one hand squeezing her temples in an attempt to soothe her approaching stress migraine.

“Hey, Josh,” she sighed, sounding exhausted.

“Hey,” he said awkwardly.

“What’s up?” she asked him.

Suddenly, Josh no longer felt like asking her out on a date.

“Sorry, it’s nothing important, if this is a bad time, I can just leave you alone,” he offered.

“No, no, it’s fine,” she assured him. “Sorry. I didn’t want anyone else to have to see that.”

“It’s okay,” he promised her, “I get it.”

“You must think I’m an asshole,” she scoffed, a sad bitterness to her tone, “I felt like Dr. Camillo.”

“No,” Josh shook his head immediately, “Definitely not. I mean, you’re tough, and everything, but… You’re fair.”

Brynne just nodded appreciatively, genuinely comforted. “Thanks. I… I’m just pissed we have to start all over again.”

Josh realized that this was one of the first genuine conversations he’d ever had with her; no flirting, no banter, just talking.

“Yeah, who wouldn’t be?” Josh agreed sympathetically. “Weren’t you scheduled to go public with everything after New Year’s?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, frustrated by her current predicament, “We were. Now, everything has to be pushed back.”

“Jesus,” he murmured.

“Anyways. Enough of that for today. Did you wanna talk to me about something?” she wondered.

Josh gulped fearfully, having no idea how to segue.

“Uh…”

He only got more nervous as she looked at him, naturally expecting an answer.

“The Kronish Ball! On Friday!” Josh managed, realizing he wasn’t making any sense.

Brynne just nodded, not understanding the relevance. “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that.”

“You’re going, right?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I’ll be there.”

“Great!” he laughed, horrified as he realized there was more to that sentence. “Did you, uh… have a date?” he croaked out.

She shook her head, and he nearly jumped for joy.

“No, I was just gonna come on my own.”

“Great!” he blurted out again, not knowing where to go from there. “…Me too!”

Josh cursed himself as he realized that was all he knew to say. She just stared at him blankly, equally unsure of how to continue the conversation.

“Cool.”

“Cool,” Josh forced a smile that was really more of an awkward grimace, slowly backing out of the room. “Cool…”

The word was about to lose its meaning. Frantic to say something, anything at all, he opened his mouth before his brain had actually planned out what to say to her.

“My balls…! Your court?!” he yelled out an invitation, alarming the both of them.

He was mortified as he realized what he’d actually said to this woman, a distinguished scientist with a PhD. She just blinked, completely dumbfounded by his words.

“…What exactly are you asking me, Futturman?” she questioned. “I’m not sure why, exactly, but should I be contacting HR?”

“No…! Sorry!” Josh laughed, close to tears, “I just… Uh…”

He quickly realized it would sound worse if he were to just stop there, so he figured he was forced to correct himself.

“I was just wondering… Since we were both planning on going alone…” he had no idea what she was thinking.

“Yeah?” Brynne prompted.

“I, uh… Did you, maybe, wanna… go to the party, together?” he slowly stumbled over the sentence. “As, like, a date?”

He was horrified as she paused for a moment, her beautiful features seeming completely blank.

“Yeah, Futturman,” she chuckled, lightly brushing back her coppery hair, “Yeah, I would.”

“Okay! Great!” Josh exclaimed, in awe of himself. “Cool!”

“Cool,” Brynne nodded.

She stood there, watching in amusement as he slowly backed out of the room before racing down the hallway to celebrate, silently screaming as he pumped his fists in the air

-

Part Six

[piquuroblox]

greetings

WHY ARE WE GIVINGG ME HEART ATTACJS SI EARLY IN THE EMMORRNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IM GONNA VOMRI. HES SO BEAUTIFUL. I NEED THIS SKIN NEEOOWWWWWWWWEWWWWWWW HURRRY UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[tazmiilly]

air fryer has 1 minute left HURRRY im so hungry

[seaofgoldensand]

BRO PLS WHY JUMPING JACKS GOTTA MAKE ME NEARLY FALL OVER AFTER I HIT 50,,,

[sonofrose]

Ok I know I'm late but I don't get people saying there is a tone shift in Dungeon Meshi.

Like dudes, the insiting incident is a party member, our MC's sister, being devoured alive by a dragon as she transports her famished group to safety, and her brother and the group members that didn't quit immediately afterwards, hurrrying the hell up to reach and kill that dragon to recover her body so she doesn't die for real.

And the monster eating isn't "uwu, I wonder what it tastes like" (well, not 100%), its "we have nowhere near enough supplies to reach the dragon again, no money to buy those supplies, and no way to carry so much anyway, so we have to eat what we can i.e. the monsters."

And do I seriously have to bring up the freaking paintings?

Like, come on!

[sundove88]

CRK Braver Together Incorrect Quotes- Rainbows, Unicorns, Everything Nice

(Before the BAD4 concert, backstage)

Cake Monster Backstage Worker: Hey! Stop right there!

Alchemist; Bro, I told you not to wear your anklet!

Cake Monster Backstage Worker: Only VIP members, the BAD4, and Cake Monsters are allowed back here.

Alchemist: Well, it’s funny you should mention that- because we are genuine backstage members.

Custard III: ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!!

Custard III:

RAINBOWS! UNICORNS!

EVERYTHING NICE, YEAH!

SUGARPLUMS, FAIRY DUST,

EVERYTHING NICE, YEAH!!!

BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!!

Cake Monster Backstage Worker: Cool. Hurrry up! The show’s about to start, man! BAD4’s about to go onstage!

Chili Pepper: We’re screwed…!

Made with @sam-rexian’s help!

[soft-persephone]

You wake up in a forest. It is night time and practically pitch dark. You can't see your hand in front of you type of dark. There are crickets chirping, birds humming, and a shift of a leaf every few moments.

You get to your feet, urged by panic and fear that you don't know how you got there and you don't know who or what brought you there. You must move. NOW.

You move through this forest, the trees getting lighter the further you walk. The trees are less dense, allowing the moonlight to filter in. A wolf howls in the distance, echoing, and letting you know that you're not alone.

You come upon a clearing that's actually a fork in the trees. One on side, there's Jake Johnson as Nick Miller. His plaid shirt is a bit torn and he looks like he's scared. He's waving to you to come closer, to hurry, to pull you close. He's begging you to run to him. You take a step forward but on the other side of the fork, there's Jake Johnson as Doug from the Minx.

He's waiting beside a car, tapping the hood of the car, urging you to come on. He has blood on his shirt and his face is bruised. His eyes widen, shaking, as he pleads and pleads for you to join him.

Why are they scared 👀 howd you get there 👀 who you gonna pick 👀

(This can be a fic or just an ask, wherever your heart takes you 👀)

This is so bizarre! I had to read it like 15 times to understand what is going on and what the question even is.

You are a fucking menace!

Here,🙄

Your head was pounding. Your heart racing.

You could barely see or hear, but you stumbled after Nick. He wasn’t too far ahead of you. You had to beg him to run while he could. It would be harder for this thing to kill you both.

He was driving you both home from your camping trip.

His dad had always promised to take him, and you had never been.

It was perfect, but on this full mooned night something ran out in front of the car. Something big and hair with fangs, unstuarlky large and grotesque.

The car flipped. Everything happened so fast yet so slow, holding onto one another, you and Nick feared for the worst.

Both of you bleeding, so so much.

“Get up,” Nick grabbed onto you, attempting to pull you out the car, “you have to get up now!” He pleaded.

“No, I’ll play dead. He’ll probably leave me alone and it will buy you some time.”

“No, it—“

“Nick, go!”

A tear running down his cheek, he kissed you on the forehead and then ran.

It thought you were dead like you predicted, but sir some reason it didn’t go straight after him.

Sisterly it smelled the trail of blood, but while it wondered off in some direction, you closed your eyes tight and waited.

Once it was silent, You shimmied out of your sweet. Falling to the roof of the car put your seatbelt.

You swallowed of cry of pain as you fell on the glass. Your right foot felt a little funny, but it was enough to keep going.

You shifted through the trees, remembering what Nick taught you, you followed the trees and how thick they were can lead to more spread out trees. You followed the pattern until it got clearer and clearer, meeting a fork and a large pool of blood at your feet, you saw him.

But it wasn’t just him.

There was another man, in a late 60s style Roll’s Royce and a suit to match. Long thick hair s beard, there was winching familiar about him.

He was just as beat up and bloody as you and Nick.

Nick’s clothes were all ripped up.

His eyes scanning the trees frantically. You waved your arms in the air, and he gave you a tired pathetic smile of relief.

He waved back, calling your name.

“Come on! I think there’s a service station not far from here. We could get help!”

You took a step towards him, but that’s when the other man called out your name, insistently tapping his car.

His brow furrowed with worry as you started walking towards Nick.

“Sweetheart, where are you going?” He called after you, “I got the engine fixed, we need to hurrry and get out of here before that thing gets back!”

You put a hand to your head. Was this guy even real or in your head.

Nick called your name again. You shook your head and began to follow, but then the other man called.

Their voices alike, started blending into one another. Instead of two voices you began hearing one.

“Nick I thinks something wrong. I keep seeing—“

A howl filled the air.

“Baby, we gotta go!”

You started running. Your vision started blurring and the fork started to looo like one path. Nick and this other guy started to overlap.

Once you finally made it into his arms you cried out in pain.

“My ankle. I think something wrong with my ankle.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ll go straight into the hospital.” He rushed you towards the car.

You wanted to stop. To freeze, but your need to get way from the monster first was too strong.

“W-who are you?” Your teeth were clattering. From the fear of the monster or what this could possibly means you don’t know.

As he sped away, his eyebrows drew together. He ran a hand through his hair and you fight the urge to follow it with your own.

Could Nick’s hair grow just as long as this stranger’s who looked just like him?

He said your name with a frown.

“What are you talking about? Did that thing hit your head in the accident too hard?” His voice rose up again in a way you were familiar with, but it wasn’t as high pitched and anxiety inducing as Nick’s. It was much warmer and firmer. Like he might hurt somebody about it.

You swallowed.

“It’s me, Doug,” his fingers tapped nervously on the wheel a bit, “Doug Renetti. Douglass” he added with a chuckle.

“But you already know no one calls me that.”

Doug Renetti, I choose you!!! (Pokemon trainer voice)

[gofancyninjaworld]

So you've accidentally created an Internet Sexy Guy

Internet Sexy Guy is Ironic:

Assessment: No problem. All is well, let them get on with it and enjoy the wider reception the ridiculousness generates.

Internet Sexy Guy is Non-Ironic:

Assessment: This is a problem. This guy could take eyes away from all your carefully-created Sexymen.

Solution: This is tricky. A: Kill him? No, that only creates a martyr and launches a fan cult. B: Sideline him? That risks derailing the story and risks launching yet another fan cult -- ignored characters can gain big followings. C: Discredit him? No, that really derails your story -- you have plans for this guy too.

Actual solution: Marry him off.

I don't get into too many series but this has to be the first time I've seen an author deal with fans getting too into the 'wrong' character by marrying them off. Doubly so when said character is male. Make a clown of them? Yup, seen that. Send them away? Seen that. Kill them? Yup, seen that too.

I suppose it's triply interesting to me because this is almost the flip side of the male gaze: that it intolerable for men to be regarded as desireable, except in very limited and specific ways. Male fans can horny post about female characters all day every day and never a hair turned, no matter how graphic it gets. The opposite and the author is in a hurrry to nip it in the bud. Fascinating. It's more than I want to unpack on the last day of my holiday but it does say something about who is allowed to be desired and by whom.