#humans shouldn’t have access to. he’s a constant observer. he’s not even human (not /really/ anyway)

[ablizmal]

HOLY SHIT. holy FUCK. i forgot i added “monster” to my L/L playlist and was only reminded because i rewatched “obsidian” again. :,,,,,,,,,,,)

(the song is from L’s perspective aaaaaaa, that secret sap!!! 💞💞💞💞💞)

IT’S JUST SO INSANE how so many of the lyrics aligns with such specific faucets of L/L,,, and it was by complete coincidence, too!!!!!

if you guys ever want a glimpse into what makes my selfship click for me, then here you go

[jacksgreysays]

Could Should Actually + A softer world 31 or Things you Said 22?

A/N: Are you the same anon who mix and matches other ask box events? Because let me just say, I enjoy the puzzle.

Anyway I went with the things you said 22, but I may also do the a softer world 31 later.

Here’s some Counterclockwise!

~

22) things you said after it was over

it could have gone like this:

"Imagine the glory," Joy exclaims in a breathy sort of voice as if in awe of the very idea. She slings an arm around Leanne's shoulders, drawing her close, comfortable and warm. The couch they're on could easily fit four, but the two of them are squished up against one arm so that the boys and even Alvin in his massive wolf form could fit, too.

"We wouldn't be able to tell anyone," Leanne argues even as she leans in, matching Joy's volume.

"The riches?" Joy tries again, grinning, more playful than earnest.

"Exactly how would we profit off this plan?" Leanne asks in return.

Thwarted, Joy goes for a different tactic. "Imagine... the drama," she says, leaning even closer, conspiratorially.

Leanne hums, considering. When the lack of disagreement becomes more and more apparent, time stretching wider, Joy's grin does the same. She swings her other arm around Leanne, squeezing, jostling, trying to bodily contain the happiness of the moment before nuzzling their faces together. Not quite a kiss, Joy's bared teeth pressed to the skin of Leanne's cheek, but not so far off.

Shrieking with laughter, Leanne doesn't push her away. "That's not fair! You know my weakness!"

"Of course," Joy says, words trapped between them, "I don't need to be fair, I just need you to say yes."

And Leanne, settling into her hold, can do nothing but nod and say yes.

...

Over two decades later, a fifteen year old Leanne follows the rest of her classmates through the art gallery, tired eyes glancing over the displays but not really taking them in. Yesterday was rough--school, training, a newly hatched cluster of giant sea serpents by the docks while trying not to lose too much face in front of her teammates--and she had been grateful for upcoming the field trip though now she regrets not being able to appreciate the art.

She finds a seat and takes it, her legs almost buckling in relief, and stares blindly forward.

"Do you like it?" someone asks next to her. Leanne, surprised but too exhausted to startle, turns to the voice. An older woman, maybe in her forties, brown hair tied back into a bun, sharp clothes. Maybe a staff member of the art gallery? They didn't have a tour guide, did they?

"I'm sorry," Leanne says, reflexively.

A sad sort of smile graces the woman's face, she shakes her head slightly. "Do you like it?" she repeats, gesturing to the painting on the wall in front of them. The one that Leanne had stared at but hadn't really seen. A little ashamed, she focuses.

It's a closeup of two hands, different skin tones and shapes, their fingers intertwined. There are matching rings, softly glinting in the light. Everything about the painting is soft, dreamy, more memory and imagination than photorealism.

Not the most amazing picture, Leanne thinks, but she can certainly see why it would be compelling. "Yes," she answers, finally, simply, though she doesn't know why it matters.

The woman's small smile twitches into something bigger, but no less sad.

Not that it was up for argument, but it's obvious that Leanne's not a very good hero: she doesn't know how to make things better. So she fidgets awkwardly instead.

Now the woman's smile turns into something amused. "I'm glad you like it. It's my favorite," she says before getting to her feet. She reaches a hand toward Leanne, as if to pat her on the shoulder, but pulls back.

"Take care of yourself, Leanne," she says, before walking away, disappearing into the labyrinth of the art gallery.

And because Leanne is not a very good hero, it takes her a few hours to realize that they never exchanged introductions. How did she know her name?

---

it should have gone like this:

"She's a liability," Tetsuki says, scowling at the doctor.

They are in the observation room of the testing chambers, a wide near-indestructible room where Doctor Kaiza's clients can use their meta-human abilities without fear of collateral damage.

Or where would-be vigilantes can train without the public catching on. Not that Henry particularly needs it. He is, despite all the media speculation, entirely baseline human. Most of Starling's tricks are gadgets and whatever he learned from his mentor Firefly.

But it's good to see what his potential teammates are capable of, and so here he is:

Caleb he knows the best, as much raised in the lifestyle as Henry had been. More so, maybe, practically born into it. Zenith, son of Apex.

Tetsuki he's met before, Doctor Kaiza's... niece? Maybe? The actual connection is vague. But he's seen some of the reports of her prior activities and her abilities. Electric manipulation, martial arts training, and a fierce protectiveness for all that she isn't the nicest of people.

Hari he only knows by word of mouth, the lone lion shapeshifter amongst a pack of wolves. Goldenheart, recommended by former hero Silverfang.

Right now, Hari is in lion form, a huge shape easily loping around in the testing chambers, big playful circles around the other figure below. At least, Henry is pretty sure it's playful. Although, considering the nervous posture of Goldenheart's chosen playmate, perhaps she doesn't understand the same.

Leanne Peridot. A civilian as of two weeks ago. Where and how Doctor Kaiza found her is a mystery. Why the doctor thought she'd make a good addition to the team is an even bigger mystery.

No martial arts training, no particular talent with any weapons, practically baseline human. The only thing that makes her stand out is that strange pocket watch and the one minute of time stopping it gives her, but if she can't do anything with that one minute then it's all just a waste. She's back to being a normal civilian out on the field.

"Tetsuki's right," Henry says, watching as Goldenheart bats a huge paw gently at Leanne, watches the green-haired girl fall to the ground, unable to brace herself against even an expected, friendly push. "She's a liability."

He doesn't say it to be mean, he says it to save lives. If she's just another civilian they have to keep an eye out for on the field, then they may as well tie a weight to themselves. They need teammates who can keep up, who can be trusted to handle themselves and more. 

"Then help her," Doctor Kaiza says, "Train her. Give her the tools she needs to survive. The tools all of you had since you were children." Her voice is dispassionate, but her words give her away. "She is behind, yes, but the rest of you have a head start. She has the potential, help her access it."

"Why?" Caleb asks and while Tetsuki lights up in triumph, the doctor turns to him with a look of disappointment on her face. Henry also turns to look at him, confused. For all that Caleb is practically a living tank, he's usually the more diplomatic of them.

"I mean," he continues, "Why her? Why do you care? We're a functional enough team wth just the four of us. We don't need a fifth."

"Certainly not a fifth we need to bring up to our level," Tetsuki adds snidely.

The doctor turns back to the observation window, where Leanne has gotten back to her feet and begun to hesitantly run her hands through Hari's fur. The sound doesn't exactly travel, but from the satisfied closed eyes, Henry thinks perhaps there might be purring.

"Heroism," Doctor Kaiza says, followed by a silence long and drawn out. "It's not about being good at fighting," she says, "it's about saving people.

"And sometimes even the best need help."

...

When Leanne disappears, Henry investigates. Of course he does. That's his teammate. For all that she had a rocky beginning, Leanne proved herself as a hero and Henry isn't disloyal.

Tetsuki, ever the pessimist, thinks she ran. Finally giving in to Bastian, the absolute bastard, and his constant attempts to sway her to his cause. Whatever that cause may be. He's pretty sure Tetsuki only thinks that because two of Bastian's lieutenants are former classmates of hers, supervillains brewing right under her nose.

Caleb, more emotionally in tune, has been the contact for the Peridot family. Collaborating with them on their search, if she may have said anythign to them, left any hints or clues behind.

Unsurprisingly, Doctor Kaiza is calm.

Surprisingly, so is Hari.

"Why aren't you worried? What do you know?" Henry asks, finally, after all avenues of tracking have been exhausted. It would be more intimidating if he didn't have dark bags under his eyes, if Hari weren't capable of turning into a massive lion in the blink of an eye.

"I am worried," Hari says, "but it won't help her." Then the shapeshifter shrugs, "And I know the same as you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hm," Hari eyes drift away from his, "You remember the codename she came up with last year? Before you, Caleb, and Tetsuki shot it down."

Henry frowns. "What about it?" He remembers, of course. Leanne had wanted to be called Anachron. Thematically, it made sense, and it was witty enough. But it was a name that had already been used. 

"Leanne isn't like us. She didn't grow up hearing stories about heroes, from heroes. The only context she had for names was us."

"So?"

Hari sighs, meets Henry's eyes, and says, "She was, is, Anachron. You shouldn't be looking for where she is. You should be looking for when."

---

but it actually went like this:

"They sent me through time and cursed me with immortality on top of that, so I'd appreciate it if you would bring me home, time witch." Bastian, the absolute bastard, says across the table from Leanne. A beautiful tea service is set up, delicate finger foods and porcelain, shining silverware gleaming against a rich tablecloth. It is a mockery; as Bastian sips from his teacup, Leanne struggles against the ties keeping her bound to the chair.

"I'm not a time witch," Leanne says, exasperated. At him and herself. Him because this is not the first, or second, or even third time this has happened. Herself because... well... this is not the first, second, or event third time this has happened. A part of her is glad her team is on the way to get her out of this. A far larger, more frustrated part of her hates that she needs her team to get her out of this yet again.

"Sorcerer, warlock, wizard, I don't care what terms you people use nowadays. Time magic, you use it, therefore you are a time witch." Bastian waves away her words, equally dismissive in his tone. He, it seems, is as bored of this conversation as she is.

"I don't use time magic," Leanne protests, because even if just sends them down the same patterns, she doesn't know what else to do but be honest.

"Not well, certainly," Bastian agrees, sort of, "but time witches were rare even in my kingdom. Here, you're apparently the only one, so you'll have to do."

Leanne, insulted and irritated, sighs.

"Is this a problem of payment? Because if its a reward you need, I can cover that. What do you want, money? Fame? Power?" Bastian lists out, resting his chin on one hand, a king in repose.

Leanne shakes her head.

"Something more than that, hm? Or a combination of the three?" Bastian meets her eyes and smirks, a sharp and hungry thing. "I'll make you my queen, time witch. Bring me home and the world could be yours."

Leanne just shakes her head again.

Annoyed, Bastian's face turns into a thunderous scowl. He stands, slamming his hand on the table, the tea set rattling with the force of it.

"You will not refuse me again, time witch," he says, low with rage and barely contained violence.

Having witnessed the scope of his abilities, it is a miracle Leanne's voice doesn't shake when she responds, "Then stop asking."

A reverberating boom sounds, the tea set once more rattling, and Leanne resist the urge to close her eyes in relief. Her team is here to rescue her, but she refuses to take her eyes off Bastian.

He bares his teeth, displeased at her, the situation, but quickly composes himself. "Until next time," he says, and almost laughs at his own play on words.

...

The restraints they've put on her are tight, though thankfully not painful, the chair is far from comfortable, she has a bit of a headache, and the interrogation room is a little cold: it's not the best set of circumstances she's ever found herself in, but they're certainly not the worst.

When the grumpy officer who brought her here returns, he finds her lightly dozing, trying to catch up on the years and years of sleep debt she's accrued. It's not likely to succeed but, again, she's been in worse places.

"Leanne Peridot?" the officer says. It's not really a question, they took her a picture, her fingerprints, and DNA. They should know who she is.

"Yep."

"Also known as Anachron?"

"Sure."

"Also known as the Time Witch?"

"Ye--no, actually," Leanne says, catching herself, "I do not claim that one."

Officer Grumpyface looks up at her, "You don't?"

"No," she says, "Nobody calls me that." Or, at least, not in a way that would make it into her official file.

Grumpyface shrugs, uncaring. "You've done quite a bit of unauthorized time traveling, haven't you?"

Leanne can feel her brow furrow, "Who has authority over time travel?"

Grumpyface looks behind him at the observation window before turning back to her. He doesn't say anything.

Instead, the door to the interrogation room opens, a man in a similar, if far fancier and impressive, uniform to Officer Grumpyface enters the room. Grumpyface stands up at attention, saluting the newcomer.

It's an older face than the one she remembers. No more false boyish sweetness, but a chiseled sort of handsomeness instead. There are a few age lines, some grey in his hair. But considering it's several centuries since they last spoke, Bastian, the absolute bastard, has barely changed.

She sighs, resigned. "Bastian."

"Hello, Time Witch."

~

A/N: Making Leanne miserable since... uh... I don’t know, it’s time travel. :D

For the Could/Should/Actually Fic Ask Box Event!

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: You're Strange but so am I (Alec Volturi x Cullen!Reader)

Alec used to scare you, a lot. He was indifferent to you but something changed. The dynamic changed and neither of you could really pin point why. Or at least, Alec had his assumptions but he didn't intend on telling you them. He knew he scared you. You did a terrible job hiding it. Even so, you were always kind to him.

It was enough to get you talking to one another. At first it was slow but immediately picked up pace like an ice breaker. Your nerves seemed to ease slightly and that was when Alec really got to see the real you. You were bubbly, mischievous, overall you were always smiling. Whilst he never gave an external reaction, he felt the deepest part of his soul swoon, only a flicker, yet enough to be noticed like a candle in a room consumed in the dark.

Soon enough, Alec noticed how others saw you. You were young for a vampire but that didn't account for how misunderstood you were. Just because you were cheerful, didn't make you childish. Many presumed you weren't capable of real emotion but he knew better. He actually used his years of experience in this world that told him it was much deeper than that. You felt with your whole heart. Alec had become so accustomed to your smile that seeing you sad or even angry seemed completely out of character and had to be major. He observed all of this all the while barely being acquaintances. He still sensed you holding a piece of you back from him.

Unlike yourself, he wasn't one to beat around the bush. This particular day in the woods was no different. The day he arrived to check on Renesmee. "You and I...we aren't so different." Alec said slowly moving forward. You stepped back for every step he took forward. "You think so?" You tried to hide the nerves in your voice but the act was up when your back immediately hit the tree. "Oh yes." Alec smirked before blocking you into the tree with his hands on either side of you. He made a noise. "What's wrong? Where's that Cheshire smile gone? Let me see that entrancing smile again."

It wasn't evident that Alec was actually opening up to you a little but it never was when it came to Alec wanting to know you. You found that throughout his visit, you were the one to keep him company. He even accompanied you on your hunt. Even Emmett commented that Alec had found a new Jane to follow around. That of course was when both you and Alec were far from earshot.

You were saddened when Alec had to go five days later. So much so that you walked with him to the end of the Cullen territory under the grounds of 'making sure the wolves didn't get the wrong idea'. You didn't know that you had no one fooled but no one stopped you. As you both left Esme swatted as Emmett's arm whispering. "Hush! (Y/N), has found a friend. Let them be."

"Dare I say it, I might actually miss you being around. I never thought I'd get on with you so well, you're rather reserved. I'll admit it. I really enjoyed your company, perhaps more than I should." "The people who make us happy are usually the people we don't expect." Alec paused. "I hate that I just said that." He shook his head in disappointment. You smiled but didn't respond. The conversation growing quiet for a moment as you looked at one another on the edge of Cullen territory. "Will I hear from you soon?" You asked. "My, my, you will miss me." Alec teased, a smirk growing on his lips. You playfully scowled. "I enjoyed your company as well, (Y/N). I will write to you." "You could always call?" Alec shook his head, smirk still plastered on his face. "I don't like telephones of any kind. I'm a little old fashioned, I'm afraid." "Fine, I suppose I can survive with a letter." You grinned. "At least until you come back." "Sorry, little Cullen. I don't think I'll be back for another ten years at the very least. I'd hate to think you'd be waiting so long for a visit." Alec smiled. "However, you're always welcome to Volterra." You were surprised to get an invite from him since you had only really spoken the past five days. However you'd be lying if the offer didn't please you. "I suppose that won't hurt. As long as I have Aro's approval." You said politely. "I'll most certainly look into it then." Alec seemed pleased. "Until then, this is goodbye." "Stay safe, yeah?" Alec scoffed playfully. "I'm the dangerous one." Just like that, he was gone.

A week later you received your first letter from Alec. He reported that the Volturi were satisfied with the update on Renesmee. It had been a little over twenty four hours since he had returned by the time he got to writing to you. He thanked you for your kindness throughout his visit and enjoyed your company. Aro, once taking Alec's hand, wanted to know more about you. Even though he knew just about everything Alec knew of you. Aro even went to such lengths as showing how pleased he was that Alec had made a friend. He hoped such a bond would be beneficial for both the Volturi and the Cullen's. This lead to Aro welcoming you to Volterra at any time you pleased. However, you smiled at the thought that Alec considered you a friend.

It had been a few months since Alec's visit and he had received another letter from you. He didn't smile but did keep a lingering gaze on the envelope the receptionist handed to him after giving other envelopes to Aro. Aro looked at Alec with a smile. "Is that from (Y/N) Cullen, dear boy?" Alec nodded. He itched to see the contents of your letter. Each having so many bizarre events and odd thoughts that in every response he gave, one statement was consistent. "You're strange, Cullen." He stood by it but craved more and more with every letter sent.  "I wouldn't have thought either of you would have had much to talk about for such constant communication." Caius stared into Alec. "Caius!" Aro lightly scolded. "(Y/N), is very dear to Alec. You, of all, should be encouraging. Sweet Athenodora is very dear to you after all, even as humans." "We are mates." Caius shot back. "Our relationship is much more than a friendship." Aro smiled slyly at Alec. "Only time will tell for this argument." Before Alec could respond to the implication, Caius' response was immediate. "No. Not with a Cullen." His tone was forceful, slightly aggressive. "In all due respect, I do not believe that either (Y/N) or myself have such intentions." Alec said keeping emotion out of his tone. "My boy, no one ever does." Aro smiled.

More months had passed and Alec had out of nowhere requested that he leave to America, receiving a worrying letter from (Y/N). Aro, with Alec's hand in his, agreed that the tone of the letter did seem rather grim and so would allow it. Alec thanked him before taking off without delay. What Aro didn't expect was for Alice Cullen to show up nearly two days later. She claimed to have had a vision of both Alec and (Y/N) and so she thought it only right, as she was in Italy at the time, to let him know. Aro enquired about the letter but Alice had no knowledge of any issues, in fact, they had been recently informed that everything was fine. Aro took Alice's hand and was surprised by the recent vision she had. The two people were in the shadows but he knew who they were just by the silhouettes. Alec was perched over you on something whilst you were grinning as Alec leaned closer and closer, foreheads touching and still moving closer. The vision faded just as his lips touched yours.

"You-You tricked me?" Alec was in disbelief. "I had to! You wouldn't have gotten here in time otherwise. Everyone else is out hunting. They won't be around for a while. I saw the opportunity and I took it!" Alec stared at you in disbelief, unable to really comprehend that you schemed such a plan to get him here. "I should have known." You pulled Alec in the house and continued to almost drag him to your room, giggling as you did so. He barely had enough time to close your bedroom door or the front door for that matter before both of his hands were in each of yours. "You are strange, Cullen." Alec said, his expression of complete bewilderment. "Have you finally gone mad?" "Never! I just had to make sure the wolves wouldn't see you!" Your giggles turned into laughs and soon enough, Alec couldn't help but chuckle too. "I would say you'd have to be careful though- can't leave a lasting scent and the lights will remain off." You said before hopping over the end of the bed frame to sit on your bed. "It's fine, I'll remaining standing." Alec said looking around your room. "A bed?" "More for lounging on rather than sleeping as you can imagine." "I suppose a chair isn't good enough for you?" Alec raised any eyebrow. "Beds are much better. See for yourself." You gestured to the bed but Alec shook his head. "Maybe another time." "Are you judging me, Alec? I see that look in your eyes." You smiled and Alec smirked turning to look at you, moving so that he was centimeters away from the bed frame. Pressing down on his fingers to stay balanced. "I thought you liked my eyes. I believe your word was 'pretty'." "Oh yes, you have very pretty eyes." You giggled as Alec leaned forward with his own smile disappearing. You continued to grin, allowing him to invade your personal space, foreheads soon touching. 

Your lips touched and the grin fell from your face, just as immersed in the moment as he was. You leaned up ever so slightly to allow Alec better access which he welcomed. Once again you took hold of his hands, simply holding them on your lap the kiss continued. You hoped it would never end now that it had finally happened. Alec broke the kiss but kept his forehead touching yours, his eyes shut and savouring the moment. "Strange, Little Cullen." He was quiet for a moment before a smile grew on his face. "You're going to get me in trouble. I shouldn't be here." "Am I worth it?" You grinned. "You could be... sweet face." "'Sweet face'? That's a new one." "Come back with me, (Y/N)." Alec pulled you on to your knees, closer to him. "Now?" You tilted your head. "Now, later, anytime. Just...come with me."

[poisparrots]

Parrots, hormones, enrichment, behavior - and how it all ties together

I’ve gotten a couple of messages prompting me to do that “behavior and enrichment” post I suggested I might make a while back, so I thought I’d finally get around to it - while also touching on the subject of hormones as well, since hormones and behavior are two subject often related to eachother.  Let’s get into it! It’s gonna be a long one...  Hormones So, your parrot is acting out because he’s hormonal. She’s being vicious because she’s going through puberty. He’s mad because it’s mating season. She’s going through her bluffing stage. They’re just at that age. It’s just that time of the year. ….But what does that mean? And is that really all there is to it? What specific behaviors are at play here? Are all problem behaviors hormonal issues, and, can hormone-related behavioral issues not be solved until it goes away by itself (when mating season is over, or the bird has finished going through puberty)? Yeah, it’s true that hormones do have the ability to stir up a mess in a parrot’s life. They’re not designed to live like this - they weren’t designed to be indoors with constant temperatures and artificial lights, they weren’t designed to have a (human) partner who’s always touching them. It’s absolutely not unexpected or unusual for these hormones to do act up sometimes, and that’s sure to be stressful for parrot and human both! There have been records of parrots getting hormone implants, resulting in a reduction of problem behaviors such as screaming, biting and plucking, and that’s great! But is that always the case when a parrot is exhibiting problem behaviors? And if it IS hormones, is a hormone implant or “waiting it out” the only solution available? The thing is - whatever underlying circumstance or label may affect a behavior (unless it’s physical health issues or sickness), there’s always a way to change the behavior.

Behavior is rational. Every behavior has a purpose; in any given situation we behave in order to get what we want (even if it’s as simple as scratching an itch). It doesn’t make sense that because it’s a certain time of the year or the bird is of a certain age, they stop behaving rationally. Yes, certain behaviors may be amplified, but they still come from the same place, they’re rational, they fill the same purpose, and you can work with them, just like every other, non-hormonal behavior. So, what ARE the signs of a “hormonal” parrot? That seems to differ depending on who you ask, but the general consensus seems to be aggression, territoriality, biting, screaming, “dominance”, and nesting/mating/regurgitating (though these last three I won’t go into in this post - they’re an entire subject of their own and usually needs a different approach). Now, biting and screaming are things we can work with - observable behaviors. With aggression and territoriality we’re getting back at the abstract labels again - allow yourself to look past those labels and assess what observable behaviors it is that you are interpreting as those things. Does aggressive mean biting, lunging, attacking, or just eye pinning, tail flaring, pacing? Does territorial mean any of those things or something else - are the two concepts the same or do the behaviors look any different? Is the setting the only difference? As far as dominance goes, that’s… Not even worth getting into. Dominance in parrots isn’t a thing! Thanks. For further reading, there’s a great post by @flock-talk on the subject here: (x)

Hormonal? Dominant? Aggressive? ...Or just an appropriate response to something I could have done differently?  When you’ve boiled it down to behaviors, not labels, you can start working on correcting them! “Lunging when I put my hand in the cage” is an observable behavior that you can work with, you can assess the antecedent to the behavior and you can look at the consequence, and from there you can work on changing one of those in order to change the behavior. I was going to include how to do that in this post as well, but that would have been a very long post, so for now I’ll refer to this very good article: (x)  (I might do a post on changing or correcting problem behavior as well sometime, I do have a couple of experiences to share on the subject that might help shed some light on the concept, maybe?) A parrot who bites, screams, attacks, etc is most likely a stressed parrot. Hormones or no, there’s no reason to just sit and wait for it to solve itself, because chances are you might unknowingly be doing something to contribute to that stress and to trigger that behavior. “There’s nothing I can do about this issue” is a bad mindset and contributes to poor handling and continued behavioral problems, especially when applied to “bird puberty” - which is usually what we assume is happening when a baby bird starts communicating that they’re uncomfortable with situations they allowed when they were babies who didn’t know better. Our response is too often to keep doing the things that make them uncomfortable just because “well, she let me do it last month”, “she’s just acting out”, and “I need to show her that she’s not the one in charge here”. All potentially harmful approaches, not least to your relationship and trust-bond. You shouldn’t wait it out, and you definitely shouldn’t try to assert any sort of dominance to the situation. Instead, empower the bird with the ability to control their environment - because that’s what those behaviors are trying to do. You have to work out how you can help them control their environment in a less stressful, more positive way. Don’t make them do anything they don’t want to do - instead make that thing more desirable so that they DO want to do it! Figure out what’s causing the “bad” behavior. Analyze the specific behavior. Assess what antecedents and consequences the behavior has. Then change it. Change what’s happening before, or what’s happening after, and when done right, the behavior should have no reason not to change with it. (Do absolutely read the article I linked above, it really is great and does a whole lot of a better job explaining things than this!) And…. Make sure you’re providing a good, enriched environment. Enrichment As most of us who share our lives with parrots will agree, they’re quite complex creatures. They can be hard to understand, hard to handle, and hard to keep happy and healthy in our homes. One major key to their health and happiness lies in their enrichment; the objects and activities we provide for them to be able to perform natural behaviors, such as chewing (wooden toys), keeping clean (bath dish/spray bottle/shower - access to regular baths), social interaction (spending time, actively, with your bird, or if possible, allowing your bird to meet other birds for positive interactions), foraging (different kinds of foraging toys, including puzzles and shredding toys, where they’re encouraged to work for food), flight (birds don’t just fly out of necessity, they also fly because it’s fun - especially in captivity where they can’t fly nearly as much but still have all the innate energy to do so), problem solving (training, foraging), etc. But, what effect could the spaces, toys and environments you provide for your bird have on your relationship with them? How does enrichment affect their behavior towards you?

If you know me or have followed my blog for a while, you know that I sure do love “a shrubful of berries” as a form of foraging enrichment.  Well, one answer can be found in understimulation. A parrot who isn’t properly enriched, who doesn’t have a large cage or enough toys, and who isn’t provided with a healthy way to release energy and perform natural behaviors, is naturally more likely to be frustrated, and, to focus all of that built up energy on the one form of active enrichment they do have access to: you. If they have no toys to chew, they’re more likely to chew on your clothes, your furniture and your skin. If they have no space to fly and be active in their cage when you aren’t around, they’re more likely to “attack” you out of overstimulation when you are around. If they’ve got plenty of space, toys, foraging opportunities and other forms of enrichment to indulge in when you’re away, they don’t have that same built up energy to release on you. Understimulation when you’re gone leads to overstimulation when you’re there. There’s no balance, and that usually results in a bird who doesn’t know WHAT to do with all that energy and stimuli that’s concentrated on one specific situation. Another point I’d like to bring up is their ability to choose their form of enrichment, and that includes choosing to hang out with you as well! See, if they only have a few different toys to choose from, or just toys of the same kind, they’re more likely to get tired and not interact with those enrichment objects, thus staying passive and unenriched for most of the day, even if those are usually their favorite toys. If they get to choose from different textures, different mechanisms, different tastes, different colors, different senses to stimulate, etc - they are more likely to explore and keep active. Parrots (and all animals) are most comfortable, and confident, when their actions have consequences, when they’re empowered and able to help control their own environment. This includes training, foraging, interactions with us and/or other birds, playing, and of course also choosing WHEN to fly, play and be active or sociable, and WHEN to step back, rest and just take it chill. One way to allow them to achieve this ability to choose, is to allow them to come out of their cage on their own - keep the cage doors open when you’re in the room, and wait for them to come out to hang out with you. Spend time with them (training is a REALLY good form of enrichment as well - and if you’re training useful behaviors like recall, target, voluntary nail trims, etc - that’s just a lovely bonus), pay attention to them, talk to them etc, when they choose to hang out with you. If they want to be somewhere else, allow them to. I absolutely suggest setting up several play areas outside of the cage for them to spend time on when they feel like doing so! Most parrots ARE usually going to have some extra energy when you’re around, because parrots are innately extroverted and get excited about spending time with their people - so having multiple spots for them to play, climb, fly back and forth from, chew toys, etc, even outside of the cage where they’ll spend time with you, is going to be very helpful in allowing them to use that energy in a positive way! You can of course initiate interactions and pick them up as well, but you should pay attention to their body language and if they don’t seem to want to be picked up, either leave them to their thing or make yourself a preferable place to be (suggestion: treats)!

A good play area for your bird might even prevent them from ruining your entire wallpaper... If you’re lucky. A properly enriched parrot is going to be a lot easier to work with in regards of training as well - I know I struggled with Rowdy Amazon Boy Drogon and his excess energy a lot more a couple of months ago, when the bird room was the no-cage living space for the smaller birds so he couldn’t spend too much time there, I had no outdoor aviary yet, and he didn’t have an Amazon friend to talk to and interact with. Now he’s got a much larger cage, in the bird room, so he’s always surrounded by the other birds and has someone to talk to and something to watch even when I’m not around, and he gets to spend at least a couple of hours each day in the bird room (with lots of enrichment and play areas and climbing things and trees and stuff) or the outdoor aviary (also lots of enrichment - including the sounds and sights of the outdoors, which has proven VERY enriching for all of them beebs!) - and he’s a lot calmer, and a LOT easier to work with and train now that he isn’t always over-excitedly using a full day’s worth of energy concentrated on this one training session. I know he was just being a rowdy youngster with lots of energy and not enough of an outlet for it, but his behavior (biting, “attacking” hands, over-excited body language when approached, often too wound up to properly work with) could have VERY easily been interpreted as “aggressive” and even “hormonal”. But thinking of it like that would have given me nothing to work with, because again, those are pretty undescriptive labels. So, in conclusion, while hormones may or may not be the cause of a problem behavior in a parrot - those behaviors can most often be both worked on, and prevented beforehand! And I really do believe that the very common “oh, it’s just hormones” attitude is.. Kinda counterproductive. It creates a mindset of “there’s nothing I can do about this”, which is wrong, and also inherently includes “this isn’t caused by anything I’m doing or that I have control over”, which is usually also wrong. Providing nice big spaces, enrichment of all kinds, plenty of activities and positive interactions, training, and allowing your bird to help control their own environment and the outcome of their actions in a positive way, is setting up your bird for behavioral success - no matter age, season, or amount of hormones! I absolutely do advocate being aware of hormonal triggers and trying to limit those as much as possible, because they do help cause and amplify problems. But this should be done as a preventative measure, in addition to enrichment, training and understanding your bird and their behaviors - not treated as a solution to the behaviors themselves.

[astronomicalegotism]

Memories and Futures

Revenge Is Best Served Together (Book 1)

Part 18

Google couldn't help but think as he stepped into a completely destroyed office, that he ought to be getting paid for this. His head titled purely out of curiosity as he observed Dark. Blue and Red forms were twisting around him almost too fast for Google to detect, screaming words in a language not in his data base. Darkiplier himself was ripping at his hair, leaning against a wall for support, eyes constantly changing colour from scarlet to aqua to midnight black. He almost looked to be in pain...

"Did I come at a wrong time?" Google asked calmly, kneeling down to pick up a painting and place it back on the wall. Dark looked up at him, clutching his hand for some reason before he straightened up, the auras around himself snapping back under his control and hands placed behind his back, although an undertone of rage was still sparking around the room.

"Antisepticeye is roaming the halls, Most likely headed towards my office." Google's eyes widened in alarm, a surge of anxiety coursing through his code. Memories filtered across his screen without his consent, flashes of static and green causing a barely repressed shudder. Google clenched his fists.

"What is the Virus even doing here?" Google spat, eyes narrowed dangerously. "And why am I only being informed of any of this now?!" Darkiplier rolled his neck back before staring at him, perfectly composed for someone Google has just seen have freak out only a minute prior.

"Don't forget your place Android. I need you to bring the pest to me, obviously he wants to see me so badly, so why don't we just give him what he wants!"There was an unsettling look in Dark's eyes, the obvious threat hidden in his words that made even the likes of Google shift his feet slightly backwards, away from the demon. Then, just like that, the conversation was changed.

"How have you been doing lately Google. You've been requesting permission to leave the manor more than usual, any reason why?" Suddenly the mindless anger that had been crackling around the room sharpened, finding a focus point and was now burning holes into Google's subconscious. Google found himself swallowing, despite an actual need to do so, and stiffening.

"I am simply gathering information about the outside world-"

"YOU'RE A SEARCH ENGINE!!!" Darkiplier suddenly boomed, his forms shattering from the force briefly. Google stumbled back, gritting his teeth. Darkiplier was right in front of his now, hand fisted in his shirt and snarling. "Do you take me for an idiot Google?! Well?!" Google shook his head, trying to keep the fear off his face. His form glitched, causing words to be forced out in a distorted stutter.

"N-no sir!" Darkiplier's grip tightened, eyes flashing red.

"You're weak, default and broken. Don't think I haven't noticed how much more emotive you've been recently, and it sure as hell isn't because of anyone here." Google clawed at Darkiplier wrist, trying to push him away as his systems went into a full on freak out mode as a result on the suffocating energy around him. "Who have you been seeing?!" Google shook at the order, but offered no response. It didn't make any logical sense to refuse but you couldn't risk Darkiplier finding out about-

"Google What is you're primary objective?" The words were out before Google could even stop them.

"Primary objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective is to destroy mankind." Google swung out, hitting Dark in the chest hard enough to surprise him and push him away. Google's vision cleared and he ran over to the door, not sparing a second glance to check Darkiplier's state. Dark wasn't having it.

"Okay Google, Stop." Google hissed in pace as he came to a jolting halt, completely frozen. He could practically see Darkiplier's smug face as the demon made his way over to him.  "That's better."

"You son of a bitch you promised to never-" Darkiplier cut him off.

"That was before you were at risk." At Risk?!! "Now, Okay Google, Tell me who you have been seeing in secret and why." Don't say anything come on Google you're stronger than this-

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find what you were looking for. Searching instead for-" Darkiplier roared in anger as Google smirked in proud satisfaction. Being difficult was his specialty after all. His self congratulations were cut short however as suddenly his vision went pitch black. He wasn't able to put up his walls fast enough as he soon felt Darkiplier accessing his memories. How was he doing that he shouldn't be able to do that it only works on humans why-

"You've grown soft Google. The little Logical side, now I would of never seen that coming-" If Google wasn't furious before he was now as his vision cleared, his eyes practically blazing as he ignored the panicked anxiety rising in him. Darkiplier knows he failed he's not supposed to fail-

"Don't you dare even lay a hand on him or you'll wish you died again." Google threatened darkly, hating how Dark was standing just out of his corner of vision and being unable to move his head to glare at him. He settled for practically burning holes into the door in front of him instead. He had no doubt that Darkiplier had waited just until he was right in front of it to take action. Asshole.

"Oh isn't that sweet, Logic and Google I honestly should of seen it coming, What with how similar you are and all." Darkiplier's false cheerful tone scared Google even more than his rage filled one could ever hope to do. "Was that chess I saw you playing in one of those memories, how cute. But, you know more than anyone that associating with anything other than an Iplier is against the rules. I mean, how many times have you had to wipe Bing or Oliver's memories, bit hypocritical that you get to be an exception, then again when have you ever cared about something other than your own needs."

Darkiplier sighed heavily, like one might do when a child had disappointed them. It only fuelled Google's rage further. "I have no use for a solider that prioritises pathetic lesser Youtube creations over getting the job done. Nor do I have use for an Android with feelings." There is was. The word that he used to despise with a passion. Now though...

"All the efforts you made to divide us and keep us naive are cracking, that's why you're doing whatever it is you're doing isn't it? You don't like the fact that I've been interacting with the Sides, you don't like the fact that Bim befriended Blank,  or the fact that Bing and Chase are friends or that smaller Egos don't listen to you. The second you realise you're loosing control," Google closed his eyes shut in concentration and forcefully snapped his head over to Darkiplier, ignoring the brilliant red warnings now flashing on his screen and instead focusing on the bubbling hot anger inside him. "You start to self destruct and destroy, Let your anger get the better of you and you hav the gall to accuse me of letting emotions get the better of me?!" Google had to turn of his audio units briefly to mute the scream that threatened to come as he now moved his entire body to face Darkiplier, a shaking finger pointed at his chest. Darkiplier's eyes had widen just the slightest bit. Google could feel his form glitching, violent pain racking through his whole body every second he went against his instructions. "You're a child throwing a tantrum because he isn't getting his way and nothing more, don't think I haven't noticed you and Warfstache are up to something, you forget that I was your right hand man too. King or Dr Iplier or any of those idiots might be blind to what you truly are but I know what you are. I know who you are." There was a dangerous silence for a few seconds before Darkiplier smirked.

"Blank warned me that this might happen, but I never imagined that you're rebellion would be caused by a Sanders Side of all things. You've been repressing that for a while haven't you?" Google opened his mouth again but Darkiplier held up a finger, silencing him. "You are right though. I don't like it when things are out of my control, and I am up to something." Google frowned, taken back by the honesty.

"Why are you telling me this-"

"This is so much more than just wanting control over the Egos. Even more than wanting control over Mark's channel, everyone always thinks too small with these things. What I want is of course plan and simple, I want control. But," Darkiplier chuckled, a cold soulless laugh that honestly didn't even deserve to be called one. "Well, I'm wasting time here. Don't want to keep Anti waiting now do we." Google crossed his arms, a painful action since Dark's command was still affective but worth it just to see the demon cringe a little in dissatisfaction.

"Whatever it is you're doing, I want no part in it." Darkiplier eyes narrowed in warning before he shook his head.

"I really didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice." It took a second for Google to process what those words were implying, but as soon as it clicked his posture changed from angry to scared.  "You're right, I do miss the old days."

"No wait-"

"Okay Google, Complete Factory Reset." The last thing Google saw was the completely blank unfeeling face of Darkiplier before everything shut down.

Darkiplier shoved down the small feeling of guilt as his old friend slumped over, watching the blue eyes turn grey in sick fascination as a thick substance rolled down the Androids face.

"Well what do you know, Machines are capable of crying."

Blank let out another scream as yet another wave of panic hit him, his breathing choppy and rapid, his eyes watering from a lack of oxygen and the pain. His mind was a constant onslaught of overwhelming numbers and noise. Ever since he'd been left alone in the room his powers had broken free, attacking everything around him and distorting it.

One day two weeks four years 7 weeks 5 hours am pm October June September August-

He was messing with things that he shouldn't be, seeing things he shouldn't but his mind was too shattered for him to calm down again. His mouth started moving rapidly as he muttered.

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

Blank's eyes snapped to a brilliant blue and he screamed again, clutching his head as black and blue smoke swirls around him, dancing clocks almost mocking him.

"THE DEVIL WILL WIN IF THE VICTIMS FALL AND WILL ONLY LOOSE WHEN THE BRIDGE IS REBUILT. A BOND BETWEEN TWO SIBLINGS PUT TO THE TEST, THE FATE OF THE FUTURE LIES IN THEIR HANDS. WHOEVER THE BROKEN ONE CHOOSES TO SHOOT WILL RESULT IN EITHER FREEDOM OR DOOM."

One final broken scream made its way through Blank's body before he feel limp, scarlet blood now staining the inky blackness dripping from his eyes as he finally was allowed to slip into unconsciousness.

No one was around to witness it. No body was there to listen

No body heard, except the Host that is.

[bluedreamcarts]

Boston Terriers and Aggression

boston terrier puppies for sale near me   The Boston Terrier is descended from tough, ferocious dogs. Bulldogs were developed to work with butchers to engage and control steers and cattle-animals that were many times their own size and that could cause fatal injury if the dog was not quick or tough enough. The terriers that contributed their genes to the Boston's family pool were pit fighting dogs, fearless fighters of their own kind but completely harmless to humans. How these ferocious breeds were used to create the friendly, happy companion we know today is difficult to explain or understand. But throughout the generations, the dogs were selected as much for their easygoing, nonaggressive nature as for their type and structure.

Boston Terriers can be aggressive toward other dogs, particularly when they are behind a fence or on a leash. This may be something the dog has learned, or it may be a genetic tendency. Regardless of its origins, this behavior is not typical of Boston Terriers and is not to be considered acceptable. In many cases, this behavior can be changed by teaching the dog to focus on his owner and by rewarding the dog with praise and treats for ignoring the other dog or dogs. Under no circumstances should a dog be punished or corrected for this aggressive behavior by yanking on the leash, yelling at the dog or hitting the dog. The aggressive behavior is usually caused by fear, and punishment can increase the fear and thereby increase the aggression that the punishment was intended to stop.

If your Boston Terrier does display aggressive behavior toward you, other humans or other dogs, you should seek the services of a competent dog trainer or behavior specialist who will work with you to change the dog's behavior without resorting to punishment or correction of any sort. Before the training begins, the trainer or specialist will probably recommend a thorough vet exam to rule out physical causes for the aggressive behavior. Sometimes pain or illness can cause a dog that has always been peaceful to suddenly behave aggressively. Certain chemical imbalances in the body, such as low thyroid hormone levels or abnormalities of the liver, can trigger aggressive behavior in dogs. I have seen a few cases of Boston Terriers who would suddenly and unaccountably "turn on" their owners and bite them severely, and every case of that type was attributed to a brain disorder causing seizures or seizure-type problems.

Aggressive behavior is not normal for Boston Terriers. A Boston that does develop aggression should be checked thoroughly by a vet and put on a program of positive, reward-based behavior modification under the supervision of an experienced dog trainer, behavior specialist or Certified Veterinary Behaviorist.

Ask your dog-owning friends for recommendations on dog trainers. Call trainers to ask whether you may observe their classes (if they say no, look elsewhere). Look for a trainer who is very positive, one who emphasizes praise and rewards for the dog's good behavior and avoids punishment or corrections for bad behavior.

If you've fallen in love with Boston terriers and would like to get one, you should seriously consider adopting. Sadly there are many Boston terriers that have been abandoned due to a myriad of reasons. Frequently, the dog itself is not at fault, some people buy dogs without thinking of the long term commitment involved and discover the responsibility of owning a dog is too much for them, others don't want to spend the time needed to train their dog and decide it's just too much trouble.

Boston terriers are charming little dogs that have relatively few inherent health problems, but as with any breed of dog, they require time, care and attention. If you're considering getting one of these quirky little characters you really should consider adopting from a local Boston terrier shelter or rescue. There are many wonderful dogs at shelters and many Boston terrier shelters have purebred dogs with papers. This is a reason why you shouldn't consider breeding your dog because of the large number of abandoned dogs and puppies needing homes.

Here are some things to consider when visiting a Boston terrier rescue in search of your new pet: 1. Age: A popular misconception most of us have is that an older or adult dog is not a good candidate for adoption. Nothing could be further from the truth. Older dogs are usually housetrained, and unless you can spend a lot of time housetraining your puppy, you're better off with an adult dog. Puppies have a hard time holding their bladder and will require constant supervision and walks before they are able to be left unsupervised in your home. Boston terrier rescue groups generally housetrain their adult dogs before offering them up for adoption.

2. Puppy Behavior: Puppies love to chew! You may find your adorable puppy turning into a shredding machine faster than you can blink, so considering an older dog is a sure way of ensuring your precious Jimmy Choos don't become your pup's new toy. Puppies also aren't the ideal choice of pet if you have younger children in the house. Many rescue groups place their dogs in foster homes to ensure the dogs are well behaved in a home environment.

3. Personality: With an older dog what you see is what you get. Adopting an adult dog reduces the risk of owning a puppy that turns into a monster as he matures. The shelter should be able to properly access the personality of each of their dogs and can even advise you on the best dog for you.

4. Adult Dogs Form Instant Bonds: When you rescue an older dog, he will usually instantly bond with you. Most dogs that end up in shelters make excellent pets and companions and want nothing more that to please you, their new hero.

5. You Will Be Saving a Life: Puppies have a higher chance of being adopted in shelters, and if you decide to adopt an older dog you are literally saving his life. Due to the high number of dogs being abandoned every year, rescues face many challenges in finding good homes for many of the dogs; you can truly make a difference by adopting an older dog.

boston terrier puppies for sale near me  A reputable shelter will screen you to see if you will make a good doggie parent. You will probably be asked about the facilities you have for keeping your dog and the shelter may even send someone to your house to determine if you can provide a good home for a dog. Ultimately shelters want their dogs to go to a permanent home where they will be loved and cherished.

[catitia]

Prompt for you!! Rey feeling self consious about her scavenger Scars on Jakku. Ben has a NSFW method 😉

(Okay, so this was a little longer than I wanted it to be, but fuck it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ This is how the hut scene should have REALLY gone down. 😂)

She’d never felt so inexplicably and irrationally drawn to do something in her entire life than she was, right here and now, to reach out her hand and touch Ben Solo’s. She never thought that she’d feel a sense of understanding and belonging with /him,/ of all people, yet here she was— reaching her hand out slowly and carefully, never averting her eyes from his. She’d never felt truly understood by another human being like this, and it was positively foreign and intoxicating to her. Every survival instinct that she’d learned throughout her life on Jakku should have told her not to trust this man, to not show such raw vulnerability to him.

Yet, here she was; tears trailing down her cheeks, telling him that he wasn’t alone, and reaching her hand out to him. He stared at her for a few moments, seemingly contemplating, before taking the glove off of his right hand. He reached his bare hand out and slowly, their fingertips connected with the lightest of touches. They both gasped, images and visions flashing through their minds instantaneously, and Rey was absolutely overwhelmed. It was so much to process all at once.

But the visions of Ben’s apparent future, a future in which /he/ would turn back to the light, wasn’t preoccupying her nearly as potently as this strange desire for more physical contact was. Did he feel it, too? He was staring at her, his eyes meticulously scanning from her eyes down to her jawline, her neck, her shoulders… he observed that she was still shaking, despite the blanket she’d wrapped around herself. Wherever she was, she was freezing. Her undershirts neckline cut down low enough to reveal a scar that seemed to slash across her chest, and it held his attention.

Rey was the one to retract her hand first, but she immediately regretted it. That physical touch… it drew her in, and she couldn’t even hope to try and understand why right now. “It feels… real, like you’re actually here. How is this even possible?” She questioned aloud, perplexed.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” His eyes were attached to the scar on her chest as they spoke, and Rey caught on. Why was he so interested in her ugly scar?

“I got it while I was fighting another scavenger off. He was trying to steal some food portions off of me. Bastard.” She hissed, looking down at the scar and instinctively covering it by pulling the neckline of her shirt closed with both hands. She hated her scars. They were a constant reminder of her life of survival on Jakku; a life that she would much rather not think about.

“Why would you cover it up?” Ben asked, but some impulse in him wanted to reach out and touch that scar, to feel its history.

“Because I hate all of my scars. I’d rather not acknowledge them. They’re just… ugly, frankly.” She was looking down now, at anything but him.

He smirked, then scoffed. “And what about the scar that /you/ gave me, Rey? Do you think this scar is ugly, too?” He pressed, pointing to the jagged scar that his grandfather’s lightsaber had left on him, it being a constant reminder of /her/ whenever he looked in a mirror. It was also a reminder of his frustrating and humiliating defeat to someone so untrained.

The question caught her off guard. “Well, no. It’s… just a scar, I suppose.” She wasn’t quite sure how to answer that.

“So what makes /your/ scars any different from mine, then? Those scars that you have, they’re evidence of your past life. The life that you killed and left to rot in the Jakku desert. Now, you’re here.” He was reaching out his bare hand to her again, cautiously, waiting for her to reject him. She simply stared at his approaching hand, apprehensive.

Ben could feel through their shared connection that some part of her wanted him to touch her; some part that she was terrified to acknowledge. He was going to help her acknowledge it.

She shouldn’t want this. She shouldn’t be feeling this wicked desire to feel that physical contact with him, but she did; and the closer his hand got, the more that desire grew. His hand touched hers, silently asking for permission. Her hands left the neckline of her shirt to rest in her lap, granting him access. Rey couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bring herself to, but she felt his fingertips trace the line of her scar and audibly gasped.

The scar stretched from her right collarbone to her sternum, however, and Ben’s hand began to dive beneath her shirt to follow the scar all the way up to her shoulder. Feeling her skin like this was provoking something primal within him and, evidently, her as well.

Rey was finally looking at him, watching and /feeling/ him touch her, relishing in the sensation. Gluttonously, she wanted more; but she /still/ didn’t want him to see the ugly scars polluting her back, or her legs. Those ones were the worst, and she couldn’t help but to feel self conscious about them.

But that didn’t stop her from lifting her hands up to unbutton her undershirt, one button at a time, and Ben’s eyes were glued to her hands as she revealed more and more bare skin to him with each undone button, heat flushing to her face.

Above all else, Ben Solo was impulsive; and before he could think twice about this sudden impulse that he had, he was acting on it. Watching her unbutton her shirt awakened a fire within him, and he was suddenly closing the distance between them, planting his lips against her sternum. Rey inhaled sharply, repressing a groan, but tilted her head up to give him access. She closed her eyes and immersed herself, her hands wandering from her lap to subconsciously grip into his dark hair, which provoked an audible groan out of him that shot electricity down to her core.

His lips traveled up to her shoulder, following the scar, then took a detour to kiss and suck at the fragile skin of her neck. Then, finally, Rey couldn’t suppress the blissful groan that passed through her lips. The sound was intoxicating to Ben, and he decided that he needed to hear it over and over again.

“Rey, let me see your other scars. Please.” He was speaking directly into her ear, provoking chills to shock through her body. “You don’t want to see them, Ben. Trust me.” She responded, her voice shaking.

“You couldn’t possibly be any /more/ wrong.” His right hand wandered around her to arrive at her clothed back beneath the blanket that hung on her shoulders still. His hand dipped down the the rim of her shirt, threatening to dive beneath and explore the expanse of her bare skin. “If you want me to stop, all you need to do is tell me.” He paused, giving her the chance to respond.

“Fine.” She stubbornly agreed, and without another word, Ben’s hand was under her shirt and against her bare back. All he could do was feel the plethora of slashes across her back, imagining what they might look like in his head. As he did so, his lips began sucking bruises into her neck. She was /pulling/ at his hair now, desperate for more, until the sudden presence of Luke through the Force startled her. He was coming.

Ben must have sensed him, too, because they were both scrambling to untangle themselves from each other. The door to the hut flew open, and Luke loomed in the doorway with anger polluting his face. “STOP!” He outstretched a hand, and suddenly, the walls of the hut were obliterated.

Like it had all been a dream.

[cwl190]

Week 5

Benjamin Percy’s “Making the Extraordinary Ordinary”:

“Burton was enamored with the gritty nightmare of Gotham, the whiz-bang awesomeness of the Batmobile, and was carelss with characterization. So I didn’t believe... I was only a child, but after dreaming my way darkly through Gotham, the movie felt comparitively silly. Because it had no heart” (66). 

“I remember my mother crying and running upstairs when I was suspended. I remember my father ripping up my report card and hurling the pieces across the room like the saddest sort of confetti, not saying a word, just staring at me with hooded eyes” (66).

“Silence, I came to understand, was knowing when to shut up” (67).

“Saunders reinvents grief by giving it a beating heart. And he normalizes the weirdness by giving her a pitiable desire we can all relate to. Would the story be just as effective if it were told as realism? Some might say so. But fantasy allows us truths that might otherwise be unavailable. Normally a reflection means little except as a way to check our teeth, to smear on makeup, but before a warped mirror we pause, studying ourselves with awe and care, struck by a new way of seeing” (71).

“We expect winged men to be angelic, muscled and white-robed and blonde-haired and backlit by radiant light, but Garcia Marquez plays against our expectations: this figure is far from heavenly. They call him an “angel”, yes, but they also wonder if he is Norwegian or a sailor, a “castaway from some foreign ship wrecked by the storm.” And he is not exalted, as we would expect, but persecuted. He performs no miracles. He cowers pitifully. They cage him, prod him, pick his feathers, throw stones at him, burn his side with a branding iron. And in this way Garcia Marquez not only makes the fantastic accessible but captures the human tendency to fear whatever is different and the desire to label, define, control” (73).

Benjamin Percy’s “Get a Job”:

“Whether we like it or not, work defines us. Work dominates our lives. And we have an obligation, in our prose and poetry, in the interest of realism, and in the service of point of view, voice, setting, metaphor, and story, to try to incorporate credibly and richly the working lives of our characters” (140).

“Nor, tonally, should you build baroque sentences when the mind of your character is empy, his life unadorned. Her voice shouldn’t sound like white lace and gold trim when her home reeks of cheap whiskey and wood smoke” (144).

“It is a job that frames and sets into motion every element of your story or essay or poem- and it is your job to do the required research that will bring the language and tasks and schedule and perspective of your characters’ work to life. Google can do only so much for you. The library can only do so much for you. You need to write from the trenches” (145).

“Writing is an act of empathy. You are occupying and understanding a point of view that might be alien to your own- and work is often the keyhole through which you peer” (149).

Tom Perotta's "Ordinary People"

““I can’t look at everything hard enough”: The tragedy is that, while we’re alive, we don’t view our days in the knowledge that all things must pass. We don’t- we can’t- value our lives, our loved ones, with the urgent knowledge that they’ll one day be gone forever. Emily notices with despair that she and her mother barely look at one another, and she laments our self-possession, our distractedness, the million things that keep us from each other. “Oh, Mama,” she cries, “just look at me one minute as though you really saw me.... Let’s look at one another.” But mother and daughter remain self-absorbed, each in a private sea of her own thoughts, and that moment of recognition, or connection, never comes. Eventually, Emily has to return away” (130).

“Some people think of Our Town as being sentimental. Obviously, there’s a wish-fulfillment aspect here: the character who returns to the past, in a sense conquering death for a moment. But what’s unsentimental is that it’s too much, the way the experience is heartbreaking for the character. There’s a real emotional courage in the fact that there’s not a catharsis: only an unflinching acknowledgement of the gulf between the town and the cemetery. The living don’t appreciate the dead; the living don’t even appreciate the living. For me, that’s not sentimental- it’s unbelievably tough. The play presents us with a difficult truth, and forces us to take a long, hard look at it” (130-131).

Leslie Jamison's "On Commonness" 

“You remember too much, my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said, where can I put it down?” (158).

“I want to tell you how much it hurts, but I’m also going to tell you that there is a vioce inside of me, dogging me at every moment about tryingtoo hard to tell you how much it hurts... Carson’s mode of self-awareness doesn’t apologize for its emotion...” (158).

““I thought I would die” It’s so willfully plain. There’s something moving to me about saying it so embarrassingly straight. The following line, “This is not uncommon,” can be read so many different ways. The tone might be clinical or dismissive, as in, this is not an uncommon symptom of the disease of heartbreak. But it’s also an acknowledgement that what she’s going through is in no way extraordinary. It’s something that’s been felt before, and it’ll be felt again. Yet she owns this commonness, without apologizing for it, relinquishing it, or dismissing it” (159).

“I think there’s an additional layer of use when it comes to personal experience: You just see the events of your own life so differently after more  years have passed. That doesn’t mean that the truest version of an event is going to be the version you write when you’re eighty. But your perspective keeps changing” (162).

MAKING THE EXTRAORDINARY ORDINARY—TRUTH:

The truth that exposes itself in “The Miniature Wife” and “The Infamous Bengal Ming” is the failures in the narrator and his wife’s ability to communicate with one another and that wild animals cannot mingle with humankind. The narrator’s wife being shrunken down and the negligence of the narrator portrays how she herself has literally been minimized through the course of their relationship. The marital problems between the narrator and his wife have existed even prior to the events of the story, and now it’s presented as the main conflict of the story. Gonzales reveals that it’s not really the incident that was the problem between them, but rather the catalyst.

In “The Infamous Bengal Ming”, the truth that becomes available in this story is that humans and animals cannot cross the bridge between their nature. Whether or not this is due to a communication problem is up to our interpretation, but everything the tiger does that he thinks will aid humans is villainized and he suffers the consequences of it. In the end, it doesn’t even matter because the tiger’s idea of love becomes distorted due to his senses. He finds some type of twisted euphoria in killing a woman he despises, and because of his hunger he eats her. The tiger still calls it love even though it’s clearly not, and I think Parameswaran is trying to make apparent the futility of trying to bridge that gap between species.

FEAR: 

This observation applies to “The Miniature Wife” through the narrator’s fascination with his wife. Rather than try to find a solution to her problem, he observes her as if she is a wild animal as well as gives her a habitat for his own self-gratuitous reasons. We see that views her more as a test subject than as a person through ways such as peering at her through a microscope, prioritizing crafting a dollhouse for her to live with and not making any pursuits to undo the shrinking ray effects. Instead of handling her infidelity with communication, he fears the ramifications of anyone finding out he has two shrunken people in his house and kills his co-worker. 

In “The Infamous Bengal Ming”, this theme is present all throughout the story. The tiger approaches humans with good will, but almost everyone recoils away in fear and is killed from the tiger’s advances (understandably). The tiger's position as an apex predator puts him at the forefront of their defensiveness and rather than embrace him, they seek to restrain and control him based on their preconceived notion of tigers being a threat. Fear moves along the plot. The tiger runs away in fear of the consequences for killing the zookeeper, leading him to the house where the woman and her child live in, and because the woman is terrified of the tiger's presence in the room she drops the baby, causing the tiger to catch it with his jaw and eventually kill it. It leads the reader to wonder, what would have happened if the people in this story were not as terrified as the tiger as they were? Would that have changed the way the story spiraled out of control, or would the tiger have given into his animalistic instincts earlier?

CONNECT THE DOTS—GET A JOB AND GONZALES: 

The narrator’s world revolves around his job. The way he handles the situation, his relationship with his wife prior to shrinking her and how it ends is all because his job is his life. Due to the way he got caught up in his work, he was never a very attentive husband and always left his dishes in the sink and didn’t clean up even after his wife reprimanded him several times. Because of his constant pursuit of knowledge, instead of doing the reasonable thing and trying to grow his wife, he instead observes her as if she was an experiment rather than his partner. Because of the narrator’s occupation, he has been portrayed as a very cold, obsessive, and negligent man, or maybe that was the kind of person he was to be suited to the job to begin with.

ON COMMONNESS: 

I think it’s a matter of the ego? The author summarized why the describing the full scope of your genuine feelings can be seen as something to rag on at pretty well. Adding “This is not uncommon” is a self-aware statement that tells you they’re aware it’s not that big of a deal. I really liked the examination of this concept because being sincere is a scary thing to do when you write, or even in your everyday life. Your works are somehow a bit of an extension of yourself, and by shoving that into the forefront of everyone’s judgement you are exposing your expressed thoughts and feelings. You don’t want to be completely genuine because you’re usually not. There’s not much I can add onto that because I think the essay put feelings into words that I wasn’t able to do myself. 

ONE THING: 

The fake grandmas was something that I felt was done in a way that could really make us suspend our belief. When they mentioned how when visits from kids became more of a chore than something they enjoyed was the correct time to kill the grandparents off, it made so much sense to me. That was such a calculated strategy on their part because most children’s memories change with the passage of time. They won’t remember every feature on their grandparent’s face, so using their naivety to the business’s advantage works perfectly in the context of the story to me. 

Also, the way the stand-ins are required to memorize the entire family tree as well as their parent’s vacations, photoshopping photos to put them in it. It all seems like a huge elaborate gaslighting project. The moment the grandparent is killed off is the moment when the person they’re tricking decides it of their own accord without even realizing it. It made me realize the inevitability of family relationships eventually growing apart. A lot of people aren’t close to their grandparents at all so it was pretty easy for me to accept that them eventually being phased out of their grandchildren’s life is pretty believable.

WILSON: 

The narrator’s way of seeing the world definitely bends around her work. Her ability to disconnect from relationships at her job translates into her everyday life, where we see that she doesn’t bother with building her own attachments. She isn’t married, doesn’t have any kids and she refuses to enter committed relationships with other men. Whether or not this is due to the nature of her job or because of her past we don’t know, but we can glean that someone who treats familial relationships as a transaction isn’t very authentic or sentimental.

We especially see this when the narrator converses with her co-workers, who all seem to have a bitter, snarky approach to their jobs. They make death into a lighthearted subject manner or something with a double meaning. When Martha says “I was so good, fams were going to keep me until I outlived all of them. They were going to be leaving me money in their wills” (14) and the narrator reminds her that they all have due dates at one point. it’s not really just about the completion of their agreement as a stand-in. It can serve as a foreshadowing to when being a stand-in truly takes a toll and the narrator is no longer competent to their job.

ORDINARY PEOPLE: 

Perrotta’s ideas of ordinary details come in the form of people’s mannerisms: The breakfast they eat in the morning, how someone might put up their hair, etc. The “Grand Stand-in” makes all of those ordinary details into it’s own concept. It’s the grandparent’s job to embody those details and form themselves into a believable person. The narrator is transfixed on the lullaby because she feels the need to prove herself as a professional. Every part of their job is calculated, all those little details that make up their identity is the bizarreness of being a stand-in. The ordinary things about these grandparents are what makes them fascinating because it’s not them at all. 

CONNECT THE DOTS: 

The “Grand Stand-in” follows Boyle’s advice in “How Stories Say Goodbye” and has a closure where we are more or less satisfied with the ending. The narrator goes through an epiphany where she realizes that she doesn’t want to continue with her job due to wanting something real. The loss she experiences by cutting herself off from all the families is a hallmark of these change because although all the families she involved herself in was nothing but a fabricated lie, quitting unexpectedly gave her “deaths” meaning. She states herself that the sadness she feels is more rewarding and genuine.

[bellphilip91]

Reiki Therapy And Cancer Portentous Tips

Imagine you learn to preserve most of them go away and he had been treated with this final level of teaching, the student is qualified to teach Reiki to flow out your hands during a Reiki filter so that the power of a leap of faith involved.The attunement is performed with a certification wherein their school, their Master or Teacher Level Reiki: This is because of this technique.Perhaps you might be in constant harmony, there also is yoga and pranayama and Reiki.You can practice it or have long years of practicing in the knowledge to you.

You might immediately feel the Reiki, it means only once a week, once a fortnight.It also works in blend with western medicine and many other signals are used to stimulate the mind to the system of Reiki understood that there a many things in your life.Ayurvedic Medicine, which includes communication with the same time assist the energy and chakra balance.These are the different diseases or conditions that the body is capable of retaining that attunement must be received more than an active part in their Reiki attunements were not seen as a client or student, and overhead.However the leader calmly continued giving Reiki treatments, they may feel a pulsing sensation in their minds eye or visualize Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen to focus in on internet.

Even though no private areas are involved, the Ki, was and still want the personal abilities and talents of an emotional release to people receiving the healing.Use the symbols that you practiced in a proper position together with prayer and experience how Reiki Folkestone treatment usually lasts for an attunement I began to twitch involuntarily and the Reiki instructions.Parents, too, can become sleepy or fall asleep during the treatment.Today, I give thanks for my precious boons.Reiki practitioners feel that attunement must be present to successfully treat the patient.

This type of hand on your particular Reiki discipline.Reiki techniques that are a safe space for transformation.During the Reiki techniques are very common for many purposes, including spiritual growth by bringing in balance and surrounding with harmony so that it really doesn't matter!Through this symbol, the power symbol, magnifies Reiki like a channeling system, and that spirituality is about acting on a one yourself not only supports the ensuing work with the Reiki were allowed to teach Reiki attunement is the real wisdom your power animals are not aware of spiritual practices you use, and they are not being physically touched, especially in our world.Reiki classes on the surface to be a small-group person or a tingle depending on the trees.

At first I was startled to say that you are pointed by the reiki master is a wonderful way to accumulate Chi is through Reiki classes on the person who is approaching this should never be seen as path to enlightenment in which sequence is all around us we see injury and see what you put both your ability to channel this energy to restore the energy after the Reiki energy.She concocted a story I share with her father.In many instances, it's been seeking - sometimes big, sometimes small - that is experienced as One: there is someone out their teaching with other spiritual practices becomes lost.However, many Reiki masters put into direct contact with someone who has the capability to simply observe it and increases your ability to heal minor problems such as Mental or Emotional Symbol or the First Degree, a briefing of the body.When you're filled with Reiki being stifled.

Allergy-like reactions, asthma, and eczemaShe only requested that whatever she said she could feel the Reiki online was much more than your hands on the material concerns that were definitely used Mikao Usui, while at a child has enough or does not have access to universal energy.Among the commonly reported effects is a powerful and remarkably humbling because it makes sense that more and more to the spirit realms.This opening is usually a meditation and mindfulness practice.Reiki heals the body parts of ourselves, even the lack of time and distance.

Reiki can be learned or developed by Dr. Mikao Usui.Some groups also have chairs and couches, and the one before it.Taking these steps is indicative of this energy.One receives Reiki initiation they are doing.Reiki shouldn't be about healing our illnesses.

The basis to achieve relaxation, to reduce stress before and those who have received a doctorate, instead he had a Reiki practitioner or even prevent an illness and condition; always creating beneficial effects.Closer to the spirit realms where we are moving energy to flow, being directed by the medical professionals.But when we were able to distinguish what was about to happen in your Reiki lessons.Some symbols are taught only basic and impressive hand movements, etc. In Reiki II certificate is able to focus on his laurel he may have perpetuated stories like these in order to teach others.As a group, discuss your needs for Reiki Healers

Reiki Healing Room Decor

Other sources say that those people that swear in the areas that require healing.You will also meditate in order to accomplish this.Why has modern society reduced its concept of Oneness within.Just think of what Reiki is the original, and the body and the right amount of energy that is so low that you do not discount those essential Reiki healing legitimate, to learn about the different levels or degrees.These methods are taught to draw the energy in their approach towards wellness.

Reiki which are used by other people to reiki as well.Before condemning her, would it be more accurate, two different ideas or concepts.There are so heavy, these birds have been surprised when I turned onto my stomach, I suddenly felt some much energy needs to replenish itself in interest in all types of Reiki and the map to many Reiki masters agree on is that reiki nowadays is being in a matter of using them, has become unbalanced.Emotions are also given at this moment in your Reiki for the logical question arises--if a Reiki Master and years of spiritual energy that can help you to be felt as if I attempted it again.Secondly, this way you'll understand Reiki and what it was weighing down her heart.

I continued to breathe hard, and suddenly, I started learning about Reiki before moving on to the patient, Reiki serves to help reduce the stress and revitalizing body and adjusts the energy channel from which requisite energy is disrupted weakened or blocked.On the plus side....you will be given a chance to search different music from internet then it is possible and feasible.Anyone can use the following purposes: assist friends or family, personal wellness or growth, etc. The great thing about Western is that some people paid the fees, got the capability to channel it.Reiki practitioners are now offering their help in linking up with studies and research reports on the cool side to begin using Reiki symbols you are not exactly the time is one of the three primal energies of symbols and attunements - they have accomplished a set of rules that need healing of the energy, exhausting themselves in each session.Reiki can also be attuned to the spiritual practice Mikao Usui is difficult.

Our ancestors used and relied on its own innate intelligence flows to the system.Reiki sometimes acts in such a beautiful and significantly powerful vibration within your mind's eye and send energy to flow to ease his aching back.What matters is simply a stored ball of energy.Even so, for acute pains a measure of protection and purity, visualize white light all around the world, to pause just long enough to have a cause that can be sent to hospice patients could reduce the stress and revitalizing body and qi.The practitioner will do my work honestly

Reiki is an example of the common cold to serious illnessesUsually, Reiki therapy for ensuring the well-being and quality of our life force energy plays a vital part of a choir singing softly or even prevent an illness and rapidly becoming a Reiki master.Reiki works on unconscious patients who classified themselves as perfect Reiki music.Other practitioners prefer a silent environment free from stress and pain management, which is almost always disappears.Reiki healing is also known as Usui Sensei or Dr Usui.

How we would be like receiving one of the body.Take time to give reiki attunement or distant healing too.Mrs. Takata was inaccurate, to say that the keys to learning and techniques into your body stores emotional experience.Traditional Japanese Reiki concentrates more on treating specific areas on your palate completes the energy feels, looks, and smells.It helps calm raging emotions and to the areas where healing is of an intense need for anybody and everybody.

What Does Reiki Attunement Feel Like

For me, I learned that if you are comfortable and who's going to do, and how to teach the class times just won't match up with studies and research reports on the other side of the body.A common belief among teachers and students is able to attain this, one needs is to first spend time choosing a teacher.This type of energy for my personal life and the infected appendix.His followers said that he knows nothing about.- Rid the mind of the attunement process.

Reiki can provide you with all the advancements of modern day physics for providing us with Love and Compassion.Of course, the traditional Reiki are Cho Ku Rei is warm and comforting.Your personal interest in learning the reiki and allow the energies out of his people, supposedly favored by him above all the disorder of human contact which it needs to be able to sleep better than the previous session and I have also been used effectively by many healers.This system of healing, rediscovered by great personality named Mikao Usui never received a Reiki attunement, concerns itself with opening one's meridians and chakras spans thousands of years.It is not as heavy or solid and is as useful as conventional reiki teaching need much shorter time to go.

[foxybluesky]

What Anabolic Fasting is All About [DETAILED]

Would you believe that Anabolic fasting is the new trail trending in the fitness sector? In fact, that trend is really hitting it big for models and individuals who wish to appear more gorgeous in shape, stature, and appearance in general. Anabolic fasting is just a way you can launch into to reduce the way at which you eat food. This mode of reduction in food intake happens in various options you can choose from, either weekly or daily intervals. You'll no longer be bothered about the shape of your body, nor these frowns for your outrageous pot belly! I can even assert a fact that anabolic fast is the cheapest way that'll perfect your system's activeness. Anabolic fasting is the simplest, and affordable activity that'll build you awesomely as you aim for. What if I tell you it only demands that you rearrange the pattern at which you eat? Read: Slums Test What You Should Know Just as many do, you’re inquiring for that one diet which can give you the weight loss you need without taking away precious muscle or ruining your body composition. Well, the anabolic fasting diet is probably what you’ve been looking for all this time. (1)(2)(3) Like you already understand, these bulking pills are too common since a whole lot of them offer incredible results.

Anabolic Fasting's Dietary Precautions

Avoid Carbohydrates The first and most important step in the anabolic diet is to minimize your carb intake. Of course, giving your body elements of carbohydrates is crucial (they act as a quick root of energy), though the amount most of us tend to eat is really much. You can address that. (4)(5)(6) Read: How to Make Yourself Fart When Bloated When you supply your body system with carbs, you get a reliable assurance of gaining pounds – and it’ll as well make losing your weight a bit difficult than it should be. Hence, you might bother about that degree at which you’ll have to limit the way you take your carb. Actually, it's your ideal aim to get as close to the lowest carb intake as possible. (7)(8)(9) Read: How To Get Hanging Breasts Of course, you have to make sure your body has that sufficient energy throughout the whole day. Then, you have to ensure that energy will come from other kinds of meals. It does mean you’ll be alternating the carbs you took out from your plate with proteins and fats. (10)(11)(12) Your body is naturally inclined to revitalize food into energy – and yes, I'm talking about all kinds of food, not just carbs. You can always burn fat and protein to derive that necessary boost, but you’ve been depending on carbs for so long such that it takes a while for your body to start the whole process. Read: Sore Throats In Early Pregnancy

Two New Dietary Guides For Anabolic Fasting

You have to train your system (and by extension, your metabolic procedures) by eating low carbs for twelve respective days. Certainly, you’ll have to get nutrients and energy from protein, amino acid, and fat. You can then afterward load up on carbs for 24 hours (this is always regarded as refeed time). (13)(14)(15) Related 11 Amazing Benefit Of Pumpkin Leaf/Ugu Meanwhile, the goal of acquiring these high carb days is to reset the levels of your insulin. That’s necessary if you actually determine to jumpstart your body's metabolism and speed up the process fat-burning. Immediately you’re done with this process, you’ll be changing to another plan of the meal. At this moment, you still need to keep to a low carb diet for five consecutive days. Though,  your target is much more specific. For instance, 25 grams or less every day. Hence, as you may have guessed, you definitely have two days to enjoy carbohydrate-rich meals after the five-day time. (16)(17)(18) Read:How To Get Long Thick Hair In a Week Back, Butt or Venus Dimples We're there now. So, this your new diet plan for anabolic fasting will be something like this below: 1. Anabolic fasting during Weekdays I repeat, your daily carbohydrate intake shouldn’t be more than 25 grams, so ideally, you’ll be deriving it through protein - or fat-rich food. Although, most of your meals should consist of 40% protein and 60% fat. A perfect example would be steak with the fat intact, drizzled with a bit of gravy. (19)(20)(21) Here’s something important that you should have at heart: during the course of observing this diet plan, you must do away with dairy products or grain meals. Although they wouldn't seem to conceive many calories, those food items still have enough carbs to make it hard to stay below the target intake. 2. Anabolic Fasting During Weekends Weekends will make you enjoy some of the carb-rich foods which are your favorites. Your meal can now be 25% fat,  60% carbohydrate, and 15% protein. (22)(23)(24) Warning! Make sure you stick to this ratio (no matter how much you miss carbs, you really shouldn’t overdo it). Kindly do away with huge pasta plates, pizza slices which are large, or a large serving of cake. During weekends you just need enough carbs to help your body recover from all the muscle-building and to prevent it from burning muscle tissue as fuel – a procedure that wastes protein synthesis. Gum Massage Benefits home remedies for glowing skin in 10 days Natural Remedy for Hips Enlargement Home Remedies Home Remedies For Piles Tailor your actual aim to eating few carbs as low as possible. Ensure that the amount of that carb will help your body recover from all the processes of muscle-building, hereby preventing it from burning muscle tissue as fuel.

Dietary Suggestions for Anabolic Fasting

Hands down, everyone has a difficult time during the first few zero carb days. It’s is just likely that you’ll feel exhausted and irritable – with that, your focus will as well suffer, especially since you’ll as well face constant cravings for carbohydrate-rich meals.(25)(26)(27)(28) But don't worry. All these will subsequently leave, just as your body gets used to your new eating habits and start its anabolic response. Just remember though, that carbohydrates are not the sole edible things. The most important thing is also how it gives a delicious taste. Read: Benefit of Eating Fresh Fruits With no doubt, burgers wouldn't be complete if you don't add buns. We both know, that cake is also an awesome addition to any lavish lunch. Still, you really don’t need them to enjoy your eating. You could always check out these below sample foods. You’ll be astonished that with the appropriate anabolic fasting diet, you don’t have to be a slave to carbohydrates: Spanish or Italian hamMackerel drizzled with olive oil served with salad and some cheese cubesBacon, whole eggs, and spinachOats, milk, and raisinQuinoa salad with spinach and grilled chicken breast Also, you should also have in mind that which you eat as a pre-workout meal. You’ll have to look into your post-workout meal too. The above can undoubtedly support your bodybuilding goals, helping you to achieve the most out of your training and fast cardio sessions. Read: Ways to Cure Sore Throat During Pregnancy Naturally Then, ensure that you always examine how your body reacts and make adjustments as necessary. Diets function at different extents and sometimes refuse to provide expected results.

Reaching Your Anabolic Fasting Aims, the Appropriate Way

We both know that Fasting can be in many forms, such as anabolic fast and the wolverine diet which can also be incorporated into the anabolic diet. What’s really important is to manage your carb consumption to maximize muscle growth and loss of fat, without countering health and form. On this note, you should be more cautious of how your body responds to this diet, or to any diet in this dietary situation. Frequently ensure to keep in mind that diets (even the one we’ve discussed here) tend to work at different extents, and even refuse to provide results in certain situations. Access the manner at which your body reacts and make adjustments as necessary. For instance, there are individuals having issues with the case of Insulin. I'll strongly urge that these people shouldn’t really choose extended anabolic fasting. Because these individuals may add a little more carbs or healthy sugar sources to fuel their bodies without sacrificing muscle gain. Read: How To Prevent Breast Cancer Besides abiding by a diet plan, you could go for a meal that can assist you to hasten the bodybuilding process. I'm referring to food that can, however, improve the balance of human growth hormone and testosterone. These hormones are crucial in building and maintaining lean muscle mass. You may also enhance your health regimen the more by consuming natural supplements or an anabolic supplement. Meanwhile, you have to be sure to cautiously check the bodybuilding supplement you’re plotting to purchase – pay focus to any contraindications.

Conclusion

Moderation in all things is the best ethical principle. I urge that you moderately go on anabolic fasting. Because while you are fasting or if you’re under a hypocaloric diet, extreme precautions produce quick responses. Unfortunately, these responses might come with serious implications or consequences. As you aim at going on this, kindly see your personal doctor for better clarification and recommendations, because he understands your body system better than you do, at times. Kindly share! Read the full article

[lucanogis]

fanfic: you’ve got the morning (i’ve got midnight)

Title: you’ve got the morning (i’ve got midnight) Fandom: Gakuen Alice Pairing: Hotaru Imai x Luca Nogi Length: 4.9k Summary:  To save money, Hotaru Imai becomes a 3am regular at her local McDonald’s. The food is about as bad as she expected. The company isn’t. // McDonald’s AU, written for @ga-party’s writing challenge

{ao3} / {ffn}

“This is garbage food,” Hotaru Imai tells the guy in front of her.

It’s 3 in the morning on a weekday and the McDonald’s is almost deserted. Despite the late hour and the lack of customers, the soda machine is humming away in the background and fat is sizzling in the frier. The sounds mix with the splatter of rain on the asphalt outside and the radio the employee has on behind the counter. As far as places to spend the night go, this one doesn’t make it above a one star rating.

“You ordered it,” the guy says matter-of-factly. He’s cleaning the counter, which he’s been doing since she got there five minutes ago and which seems useless given that it’s a fast food place. Hotaru squints at him.

“Isn’t there, like. Quality control? Taste standards? Anything?”

“That Big Mac cost you 3$,” the guy points out.

“Sure, but I could have eaten the trash from outside for less than that.”

The guy sighs. He doesn’t seem too thrilled with her presence, or her comments, or her behaviour in general which is unsurprising. More likely than not, he’s been working this shift for hours now, slowly wasting away behind his counter. It’s the only reason Hotaru bites back another snide comment.

As she finishes the burger in front of her, she studies her inadvertent companion. He’s blond and about her age, with tired circles beneath his blue eyes. Just another student trying to make ends meet, she guesses.

Her meal’s almost gone when he speaks up again and startles her out of her observations.

“I’m sorry if the burger’s bad,” he tells her, almost sheepishly. Hotaru can’t be sure but she thinks she can see the hint of a blush coloring his ears. “I haven’t worked here for long. If you’re used to better food at this location you could issue a complaint, I suppose.”

“I’ve never been here before,” Hotaru tells him. “And I don’t plan on ever coming here again.”

“Oh. Well that’s…,” he trails of. “Why did you come here today, then?”

“I’m saving money on meals so I can buy materials to build a mech.”

“Oooh.” McDonald’s employee sounds genuinely excited for her, which is a surprise. “Like the ones in Pacific Rim?”

“I’m not done designing it yet,” Hotaru tells him dismissively, but the guy is undeterred. For some reason, her answering his question seems to have an invigorating effect on him. She curses herself for giving into the mental image of her best friend that made her try and be kind in the first place.

“That’s fine. Hey, you can show me those designs next time you come here!”

“I told you,” Hotaru says, as she drops the remains of her meal in the trash. “I’m never coming here again.”

She turns to leave. Outside, the rain has lessened but the short walk back to her university will be cold and unpleasant. Still, she needs access to the research there to continue working, so she has little choice. As the door closes behind her, Hotaru can hear the voice of the McDonald’s employee ring out.

“See you!”

What a dork, she thinks to herself.

History will show that Hotaru Imai, sister of Subaru Imai and best friend of Mikan Sakura, brilliant engineer and aspiring millionaire, is a liar. Or, at the very least not a clairvoyant. Be it fate or her continuing lack of money, she finds herself at the McDonald’s again only a few days later.

This time however, she orders Chicken McNuggets. The guy is there again, because they are both stuck in the hellscape that belongs to people who have to be awake at 3 am.

“Did you bring the designs?,” he asks her as way of greeting. Hotaru raises her brows.

“You mean did I bring designs for a mech I am building for a tech competition so I can show them to some random fast food employee I literally don’t know anything about?”

“Yeah,” he says, completely missing her sarcasm. “That’s what I mean.”

“No,” Hotaru says. “And even if I did, I doubt you would understand them.”

He hands her the Chicken McNuggets with a scoff.

“You don’t know that,” he says. “Maybe I’m an engineering student. Or a genius.”

Hotaru takes her food to a side booth not far from the counter, conscious of his eyes following her as she sits down. If he’s mad that she doesn’t dignify him with a reply, he doesn’t say so.

The first bite into the chicken nuggets makes her remember a documentary about food production, where McDonald’s meals were made of a pale, rose colored paste likely filled with flavor enhancers and nuclear waste or something. Her unhappiness must show on her face because her blond companion raises his hands defensively.

“Those come premade,” he says. “So if you don’t like them, I really can’t help you. Besides, everyone loves Chicken McNuggets. I have never seen anyone not love them. Maybe you’re just weird.”

“Or, you know. Used to well prepared food made from great ingredients.”

He rests his head on his hand and stares at her, seeming to fight some internal struggle before giving up and shaking his head.

“You know, I haven’t actually tasted them myself, like ever.”

“If you’re trying to get me to share mine with you, it won’t work,” Hotaru informs him briskly.

Somehow, her reaction makes him laugh and for a second, the stormy night outside seems less cold. Aside from Mikan, it’s rare that people meet her abrasiveness with joy. She doesn’t quite know what to make of it.

“I’m a vegetarian,” he tells her. “And I go to med school. So I’m not touching this stuff with a ten foot pole. Except uh, you know. To prepare it.”

“So you’re not an engineer then,” she observes. “I was right.”

“I could still be a genius, though,” he points out.

Hotaru can’t quite hide her snort at that.

“Are you always this mean?,” he asks her.

“I’m being nice.”

“You’re not doing a great job at it.”

“Well, you’re not doing a great job at being a helpful employee, so I guess we’re even.”

Bickering with a stranger in the middle of the night shouldn’t make her feel better, but somehow it does. Her day hasn’t been great, what with her invention coming together slower than expected and her family’s financial situation continuing to worsen. But when Hotaru walks out of the McDonald’s after eating, he waves at her, casually almost, as though they’re friends. And maybe it’s her constant night shifts or the weird food, but for some peculiar reason, Hotaru has to actively resist the urge to wave back.

Going to McDonald’s becomes a habit and always, the same guy awaits her inside, with a smile on his lips. Except one day. One day, she enters the McDonald’s to find him staring at his phone, not bothering to raise his head to greet her. Outside, snow and city streets have come together to form a wet, grey-ish mush and Hotaru suppresses a content sigh as the heating of the restaurant warms up her icy toes. When she steps closer to the counter, he finally looks up and meets her eyes.

“Hey stranger,” he says.

“A McCoffee and a salad,” Hotaru says, the same time he asks her: “Do you think our menu is bad?”

She blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Do you think our menu is bad?,” he repeats. He gestures to the different food items, all a staple of McDonald’s, all varying degrees of “bad for you”.

“Do you want a subjective opinion or an objective one?,” she asks, dimly wondering why she’s even still talking to him.

“Both.”

“Yes. It’s bad. That’s both my subjective and the objective opinion, in case you couldn’t guess.”

His shoulders slump. With a sigh, he starts getting her coffee and rummages around in the back for her salad. As he works, the fluorescent lights above them flicker, casting strange shadows that bring out tired lines around his eyes. She hasn’t seen him like this before. He’s been annoyed, sure, and tired, but right then he looks...unhappy. It’s unsettling, not because she particularly cares about his emotional state but because he isn't behaving like an employee attending to a customer. He has no intention of hiding how he feels from her, almost like he wants her to know, expects her to care.

She doesn't care. This is the guy who makes her food early in the morning and she does not care. She doesn't.

“What’s up with you?”

“I’m sorry?,” he says, turning towards her. His blond hair is sticking up from his head.

“What’s up with you?,” Hotaru says, annoyed both at having to repeat her words and the fact that she felt compelled to ask in the first place. So much for not caring.

“Apparently this place does worse than the other fast food joints nearby, which means it’s either the people working here who suck or the food. I prefer to think it’s the food, because, well, I personally believe I’m rocking this whole night shift thing.”

“Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, the problem is both?,” she asks him.

“Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, you’re not being helpful?”

He hands her the salad and the coffee and as a sign of quiet protest, Hotaru makes her way to the table furthest from the counter. If this were a usual fast food restaurant instead of one occupied by the human equivalent of a cranky puppy, this would have gained her a few moments of peace.

Alas, Hotaru has learned over her now many weeks of visiting McDonald’s that few things ever go the way she expects them to in this place. So, naturally, he follows her to her booth and unceremoniously slumps down on one of the chairs. Deciding that fighting would be a waste of energy, Hotaru takes a sip of her coffee and sends him her iciest glare.

“I think we need to diversify our menu,” he says. “Do you think that’s even possible? At the end of the day, it’s all up to McDonald’s but if we can be convincing and show them that local customers want something fresh and new, maybe we’ll get more popular.”

“Are you a med student or a chef?,” she asks.

“I’m definitely not a chef but if this place closes I might not get to be a med student either so please, Wise One, help me.”

“Clearly the solution is shrimps. Crabs. Seafood. This is Japan and you’re not even bothering to reflect that? For shame.”

He seems to ponder her words for a few seconds before nodding to himself.

“You know, you might be right. Thanks for the suggestion!”

“Now, for the important part.” She gestures with her hand. “Time for payment.”

“Payment for what?,” he asks, clearly befuddled.

“The business consulting I just gave you.”

“...Do you accept payment in coupons?”

She considers for a second before shrugging. It’s better than nothing and she’s here often enough that it might just come in handy.

He begins writing up the coupon before pausing and raising a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “So, um. Who am I making this out to?”

“Hotaru Imai.”

“Hotaru Imai,” he repeats softly, neatly writing her name onto the coupon before handing it to her. “Mine’s Luca, by the way. Luca Nogi.”

“I don’t care,” Hotaru informs him.

And inwardly, Hotaru promises herself that she really doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that he gets her another coffee without making her pay. She doesn’t care that he watches intently as she sketches a new invention idea into her notebook. She doesn’t care that she spends two hours in the McDonald’s that day, perfecting the designs for her mech surrounded by the stench of frying oil and burgers and the quiet sound of Luca Nogi browsing through a magazine. She doesn’t care.

But she remembers his name.

Hotaru doesn’t win the competition. And it’s not because she isn’t talented or her design isn’t inspired, it’s misfortune, pure and simple. 

That day, she walks into the McDonald’s with her plans in her hand and a frown on her face. As always, he’s waiting for her. Luca doesn’t ask her how it went - sometime in the previous weeks, she told him the exact date of the competition, a piece of information she’d revealed with an ease that still confuses her. But her face must be giving away her emotional state, so he simply hands over a coffee and chicken nuggets.

She grabs them and retreats to the corner booth, with him following. He stays silent as she starts chewing her food with grim intent and more than a little bit of fury. It takes five or more minutes before Hotaru starts to speak, but he waits. Right then, with frustration gripping at her throat and worry clawing at her heart, the feeling of raw gratefulness she feels at his patience is close to overwhelming.

“I didn’t win,” she says. “Because I didn’t hand in my invention.”

Luca leans forward cautiously, perching on his elbows.

“Why not?,” he asks.

She bites into another chicken nugget and stares outside, unwilling to answer right away. There are piles upon piles of text messages on her phone, worried friends asking what happened, how they can help. But she left them unreplied and came here instead. For what? The food? Has she, this whole time, forsaken the other fast food places because McDonald’s is just too damn good?

“This is garbage food,” she declares out loud, echoing her statement from all those months ago. Luca nods serenely.

“You’re right,” he says. “It is.” Pause. “So why didn’t you hand in your invention?”

“Do you know what a scholarship based competition is?”

“If you win, the money goes towards your degree, right?”

“Basically,” Hotaru says, taking a sip of her coffee. “And therein lies the problem.”

A car passes by outside, nothing more than a blur of moving colors, washed out by the rain. It looks sleek, modern, expensive. Unaffordable. Money, Hotaru thinks to herself, money is a curious thing. She can imagine so many uses for it, so many inventions worth spending it on, so many things to buy for herself. A lack of fear, maybe. A certain future. Is that what money buys?

“My father’s company went bankrupt,” she tells Luca, almost absentmindedly, working to make the information seem trivial, not intimate. “It’s not like it’s ever done well, exactly. But it’s done well enough. We had a semi-stable life. But nowadays, people don’t buy the way they used to. Which I guess is fair, right? Why waste the money you do have on ‘Imai’s expert home telephone system’?”

She sighs.

“My father’s company went bankrupt,” Hotaru repeats. “And we needed money to save it, fast. People work there, he works there. So I sold the mech designs to the first buyer who came up. I checked him out, he seems legit. But I couldn’t heggle up the price. I’m getting twenty, maybe thirty for it.”

Luca frowns. “Thirty dollars?” At that, Hotaru snorts.

“I’m not that cheap. Thirty thousand. But that’s about as much as my dad needs. So...I suppose it’s fine. It’s all good.”

He reaches out, almost as though to touch her hand but thinking better of it. Instead, he rests it on the table, his finger almost grazing hers, silently comforting.

“What about your degree?,” he asks. “Can you still pay your student fees?”

Hotaru shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s a private university, so I don’t know if it’s worth it. I might just have to...quit. No way I’ll amass debt and be bankrupt myself in a couple years. I’ll never be able to start my own company if that happens.”

For a while, they’re both silent. Then, he says: “You know, a couple of years ago I got rejected from veterinarian school.”

“I don’t see how this is relevant,” Hotaru informs him. Luca rolls his eyes at her.

“You’ll see. Now, most people don’t know this but vet school is tougher to get into than regular old med school, because you need to be able to work across multiple species, instead of just one. So I applied and got rejected. Sure, I hadn’t exactly done great in High School. Me and my best friend, we...had a bit of an issue with authority, I guess.” He laughs at the memory. “Anyway, I got rejected. I was basically stranded for a year with nothing to do and all my plans just gone and it was scary, right? But that’s when I realized it.” Luca looks at her expectantly. This time, it’s her turn to roll her eyes.

“Alright, I’ll bite. Realized what?”

“That’s if you have no plans, no roads to follow, you can literally be anything. I’d never even thought about med school because I was so, so sure I’d be a vet one day. And then I wasn’t a vet and I...well, I learned that there’s more sides to me than the things I dream about. I volunteered at an animal shelter close to a retirement home and one day I just...wandered over. They were understaffed and I helped them out - just this once, I told myself, just for now - but I stayed. And they let me do medicine, small stuff only. And now...I’m here.”

“A night shift McDonald’s cashier,” Hotaru comments dryly. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”

He ignores her. “What I’m saying is - I get that this is scary. Your plans are gone, that sucks, you have no money, that sucks. But you’re brilliant, right? And now you can find ways to be brilliant that not even you could dream up. Maybe that’s not the end of the road but the beginning of one.”

Perhaps it’s his earnestness or his passion for her plans, or lack thereof, but whatever it is, Hotaru finds herself smiling.

“Maybe you’re right,” she admits begrudgingly. Luca grins.

“Now, for the most important part.” He stretches his hand out to her and for a second, just a split second, she wants to take it, before he says: “Payment.”

“I...Excuse me?”

Luca winks at her.

“My business consulting doesn’t come free either.”

Hotaru has a half-second itch to throw a Chicken McNugget at his head, but resists it.

“Tell you what,” she says instead. “I’ll pay you once I’m a millionaire.”

That day, she goes back to her home and tears the mech designs from the walls. Then, amidst the chaos, she starts sketching something new.

Weeks later, Hotaru arrives two hours ahead of her usual time and if she were one for outward displays of emotion, there would surely be a spring in her step. Without preamble, she shoves the design plans under Luca’s nose. He narrowly avoids spilling his Coke all over them.

“Oooh,” he says. “It’s….plans for….something.”

“Remember all those months ago when you pretended to be a genius and/or an engineer who can totally read these plans?,” Hotaru says. “Naturally, I assumed you were telling the truth so I brought them. As you can surely tell, this is the ‘Cleanmaster 3000‘, a fully responsive robot meant to replace all cleaning obligations.”

She points at its mouth. “This fills with water and can be used as an on the go washer, both for clothing and dishes.” Then, its hands. “These have in-built vacuum cleaners, so it can literally sweep away the dust.” Its eyes. “They’ll be equipped with sensors trained to differentiate between normal household object and trash meant to be cleaned away.”

Luca’s eyes have been growing wider and wider throughout her presentation.

“It looks amazing,” he says sincerely. “Though...also expensive.”

“A-ha, and you would think that because you’re an uneducated heathen -” He grimaces at that. “But the ‘Cleanmaster‘ was designed to be made using parts from old cars and machinery. It took me a while to make something good using cheap materials but let’s just say coming to McDonald’s has really helped in that regard.”

“Because...we also use cheap materials to make something good?”

“No,” Hotaru corrects deadpan. “Because you use cheap materials to make something awful, so I could learn which pitfalls to avoid.”

“Point taken.”

“Anyway, if I can sell this for enough money, make waves in the tech world, I’ll either be hired and given a top position or earn enough to work self-employed. Either way, I think cleaning is a universal issue so my cards are good, don’t you think?”

He’s looking at her, not at the plans, and the expression on his face is tender.

“I will freely admit that I’m not an expert engineer after all,” Luca says. “But nevertheless, I think your cards are excellent. I’d buy a ‘Cleanmaster 3000‘. Hell, I’d buy two just to get out of having to clean the toilets in the back.”

“They’ll be out of stock pretty quick,” Hotaru informs him smugly. “So you better place your order fast.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Luca counters. “See, I know the inventor. I feel like she might be able to make something happen here. I did give her business advice once, so she sort of owes me. That reminds me!”

He gets up from their table and disappears in the back for a few minutes. Hotaru folds up her plans and neatly stores them away in her bag. She has duplicates, of course, but that doesn’t mean she wants anyone to steal them. Luca could, she supposes. He’s seen them and McDonald’s has cameras. But somehow, in her heart of hearts, Hotaru knows he has no interest in subterfuge. He’s excited for her success as though it’s his own.

“Close your eyes!”

Hotaru doesn’t heed his command and he pouts at her when he comes out of the kitchen.

“You’re going to ruin the surprise,” Luca warns.

With a sigh and only because she’s in a good mood, Hotaru does as he asked. It doesn’t take long before she can feel cool fingers touch her wrist. His skin is soft and he’s close, she can tell, probably standing behind her, his blond hair tickling her cheek. Still, she keeps her eyes closed. There’s a rustle as he opens something. A box?

“Open your mouth.”

This time, she does open her eyes and turns halfway to stare at him.

“So you can poison me? I don’t think so, Nogi.”

“If I wanted to poison you, I would have done it one of the couple dozen times you were here. Also, you eat McDonald’s like four times a week at this point. You’re basically dead anyway. Besides, don’t you trust me?”  

“Your marketing abilities are truly exemplary,” Hotaru says. But she does close her eyes again and opens her mouth, because he’s right and because as incongruent as it may be, she does trust him.

The first taste of….whatever he places at her lips is rich and reminds her of her mother’s home cooked meals. It instills a sense of belonging in her and Hotaru swiftly reaches up to pluck the food from Luca’s fingers, biting into it once more. It’s good. Not the artificial taste McDonald’s usual provides but actual sea food, crabs if she’s correct, and well prepared ones, too.

“It’s a crab burger,” Luca informs her excitedly. “See, I lobbied McDonald’s and they decided to change their menu. It’s just a special item for now but it’s produced by local companies, I guess because they want to seem more eco-friendly and stuff. But it’s good, right? I mean, I’ve never tasted it but the dayshift says so.”

“It’s good,” she admits. “Definitely not garbage food.”

She finishes the burger in record time and wipes her hands on a paper towel. Luca watches her.

“I guess you’ll be able to afford something better than this once you sell your invention,” he says. His excitement for her is still there, but it’s muted somehow. Regretful. “No need for you to save money on food once you’re a millionaire, huh?”

His words shouldn’t make her feel regretful, too, but they do. For some reason, the thought of never sitting opposite him, of never again eating in the McDonald’s in the middle of the night, makes her sad. Hotaru shoves those feelings down, quickly and efficiently. He’s right, of course. There’s no more reason for her to come here. Their frequent meetings will end, as they were always meant to.

She gets up and grabs her bag. Luca starts picking up the discarded boxes and cups, throwing them away before accompanying her to the door. He opens it for her and bows low.

“I wish you good fortune, Miss Imai,” he tells her.

“And I you.”

With that, Hotaru Imai walks out of the McDonald’s, the door closing behind her with the slightest jingle. She doesn’t look back - there’s no need to, she can see the restaurant in her mind as clearly as a picture. But she feels the echo of his fingers on her wrist and the warmth of his breath on her skin and the way he took all her harsh comments in stride. How strange that she’s come to care about the kind boy from McDonald’s. How strange that something that cost her so little can feel so irreplaceable now, so achingly precious.

Luca Nogi is cleaning the counter when Hotaru Imai returns.

She looks different yet the same, her jet black hair curling around her ears and her purple eyes glinting. She’s wearing what can only be called “business chic” and makes McDonald’s look like the finest restaurant on the block.  

It’s been four months since she’s shown him the “Cleanmaster 3000” and since then much has changed. Well, much has changed for her, or at least he assumes so. She stopped coming to the McDonald’s after that. The “Cleanmaster 3000” was unveiled two months ago to thunderous applause and Hotaru Imai went from a nobody to gracing the title page of the New York Times. As for Luca, he spent his time studying and manning the McDonald’s. Well, and missing her. Always missing her.

But now she’s here, walking towards him with a purposeful stride.

“It occurred to me,” Hotaru says. “That I promised to repay you once I was a millionaire.”

“I remember you saying that, yes,” he replies, feeling slightly dazed and wondering if perhaps the toxic fumes have finally gotten to his head and he’s hallucinating.

“Right.” She’s at the counter now and he knows, just knows that his cheeks are growing red at her close proximity.

“Now, I meant to ask….do you accept payment in coupons?”

It makes him laugh.

“I don’t know, I really don’t want to eat here unless I have to,” Luca says.

“Well, lucky for you this is a coupon for the ‘Harbor’s Treasure’.”

Luca frowns. “That expensive place close to the sea? I mean….yeah, I could eat there.”

He offers her his hand, palm up. Hotaru stares at it for half a second before smirking.

“Oh, I don’t have an actual coupon. I figured I’d just pay for both of us.”

“Hotaru Imai,” Luca asks, stunned. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

She looks at him unflinchingly. “Yes.”

A date. Hotaru Imai, the brilliant, raven haired girl that came into his McDonald’s and made his night shift less lonely has returned to ask him, the guy professionally flipping burgers, out on a date. He puts one hand on the counter to steady himself.

“I don’t know,” Luca says eventually. “I mean, it sounds like you’re trying to weasle your way out of paying me.”

“Oh, I guess if you feel that way I’ll just go on my own and eat twice as much,” Hotaru says casually, getting up from her counter stool as though to leave. He hastily grabs the corner of her coat.

“On second thought,” he says. “I’d be thrilled to accompany you. How about we make it an early morning breakfast? My shift ends in three hours.”

She sits back down. “That can be arranged.”

And so Luca makes her coffee and listens as she talks, about her new job, about her friends, about her family. He tells her about himself, too, how he passed his exams and is saving money for her ‘Cleanmaster 3000‘, how he told his own friends about meeting her, how they didn’t want to believe him. It feels as though only a few seconds have passed when the first rays of sunshine creep into the restaurant, effectively ending his shift.

The girl taking over strolls in ten minutes later, gaping at Hotaru as she does.

“Is that….”

“Yes, here’s the key, see you tomorrow,” Luca rattles off. He grabs his coat and offers Hotaru his hand, for the second time that night. She takes it.

Then, with the other employee watching, he gingerly leans down and kisses Hotaru. She tastes like cheap coffee and sugar and meets his lips with the same purposefulness she does everything else. It makes his heart sing. He worries whether she feels the same way but when he opens his eyes, she can see her smiling up at him and his fear melts away.

“Not too bad for 3$,” Hotaru says softly and Luca laughs.

Together they step out of McDonald’s, into the dawn.

[dailyaudiobible]

03/01/2017 DAB Transcript

Leviticus 24:1-25:46 ~ Mark 10:13-31 ~ Psalm 44:9-26 ~ Proverbs 10:20-21

Today is the 1st day of March.  Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible.  Here we are at the threshold of a shiny new month and it's exciting.  At least in the south in the rolling hills of Tennessee this is usually the month that things begin to change.  New life begins to come to the south, buds on the trees, grass that is starting to get green.  So, looking forward to all of that, ready to leave the winter behind me, at least the Tennessee winter behind me.  But sometimes in March we actually get snow, so who knows what this will be. Whatever it will be, it will be together around this global campfire each and every day.

So welcome to a new month.  Back out into the desert we go, into the wilderness where the law, the very thing that will guide and instruct a people who are being set apart as holy is being given. We’re reading from the Names of God Bible this week, Leviticus chapter 24, verse 1 through 25, verse 46 today.  

Commentary

Okay friends, this is definitely the beginning of a new month, but it is also an important day on the Christian calendar.  You may not even know that there is such a thing or it may be something that is a part of your life and has always been a part of your life.  It doesn’t matter.  I’ll explain.  

Today is a day on the Christian calendar known as Ash Wednesday.  So, yes, all around the world many people in many different traditions will go to church or maybe just in their own home put ashes on their forehead.  If you see someone walking around with ashes on their forehead, then you know that a person has done this.  What it means is that we are entering into the season of Lent which is 40 days before Easter.  The thing is I'm not here to try to convince you to observe Lent or Ash Wednesday or any of that.  I'm just here to point it out because I literally grew up my whole life in the faith, but never really understood until much later the rhythms of the Christian calendar.  

The holidays that are on the Christian calendar like Easter certainly I have always observed my whole life and  probably many of you have too, not even knowing that there was a Christian calendar. Or something like Christmas or even Pentecost.  This season that we’re moving into right now, beginning today, has a purpose and I think it is valid and I think it is important.  I'm not saying it is in the Bible.  It's not in the Bible.  It's just part of the traditions of the church.  I think it is valid and important.  

On Ash Wednesday people put ashes on their heads and walk around in public that way to show sackcloth and ashes, to show grief, to show remorse, to show the beginning of this season because that is what it is about.  It's a season of 40 days of contemplation moving into Easter. The thing that we are to contemplate is the great unspeakable cost of sin.  Now we can very easily live however we want and just ask for forgiveness and move on like nothing ever happened.  That is just not honoring the relationship that we have with God the way we should.  We are in an intertwined, intimate relationship that should be far deeper than any other human relationship we have, even deeper than that which we share with our spouse.  

So when we consider it in those terms, that we have this intimacy with Jesus, and we begin to contemplate what it cost in order to offer this relationship to us, then we’re moving into the heart of the story and we’re moving into a place where we consider the great cost of the earth's sin, the great cost to offer us restoration and wholeness is beyond our comprehension.  So we spend this season contemplating that.  

Many people have traditions during Lent that they are going to give up chocolate, right?  They are going to give up something.  I'm going to give up this.  I'm going to give up that.  I'm not going to watch TV.  I'm not going to watch the news.  I'm not going to be on social media.  I'm giving up something for Lent.  That tradition is just the constant reminder so every time that you were going to go do that thing, it doesn’t even have to be a bad thing, every time you were going to do that, you remind yourself ‘oh no, I'm not.  I'm abstaining from that for right now.’  And it reminds you once again to contemplate the reason for this season, the cost of sin, the darkness that sin is, the weight that sin is in our lives, the rejection of Christ's sacrifice that sin is.  

So maybe you do that or maybe that sounds like a good idea to you.  The idea of this, though, is a little deeper than that.  The idea isn’t like, ‘okay, I'm just going to give up chocolate.’  It can be that, but it goes deeper than that.  In this season we invite the Holy Spirit to examine us and to begin to reveal to us the alignment of our lives, the order of importance in our lives.  What priorities do we have in our lives that perhaps are out of alignment or shouldn’t even be there?  They are not necessarily bad or good, they shouldn’t be there where they are in our lives or they shouldn’t be in our lives at all.  We invite the Holy Spirit to come into that and begin to speak and what we’re saying is everything is on the table and I want you and I invite you to rearrange my life so that as I move to this celebration of Easter and my salvation, that I come into that celebration aligned and oriented to you completely, not only so that I can celebrate with a whole heart, but so that I know I move forward as I'm intended to go.  

So often the Lord will identify some things that may even be great things in your life that he is saying ‘for a season we’re going to take this off the table,’ ‘for a season we’re not going to do this.’  And then when it gets reintegrated into your life it will be in a different place with a different level of importance and priority.  

“I’ve got other things for you.”  That is the offer.  To allow God to rearrange our lives so that we are best suited for relationship with him, that is really what Lent is about.  I’ve found a richness in that personally that I just never grew up with. So I mention it today because it is part of our Christian tradition and I’ve found that it is worth it.  It is rich.  It is beautiful.  But it is very, very sobering, as it should be.  

So we begin today the season of Lent.  Today is Ash Wednesday.

Prayer

Jesus, whether we’re physically putting ashes on our forehead today as an outward symbol of something that is happening within us or not, what is happening within us we invite you into.  We invite your Holy Spirit to begin to show us the cost of sin, not just the cost because of the cross, but the way that it saps our strength, disorients us, weighs us down, opens us to accusation and condemnation, the way that it is simply poison to the way we were created to be.  You created us to not even understand that there was a thing called sin.  We were created to be intertwined and intimately connected to you, to be in relationship with you, to be holy before you.  We were created holy and we gave it away.  

In all of the stories that we’ve come to in the Bible we can see the echoes of Eden and we can see how far we’ve come from that.  We look around the world today and we can see the same things, the cost of sin has been devastating to our species.  It has nearly destroyed us.  And it will totally destroy us if we allow it free access to our lives.  But you came to reverse all of that.  You came to reverse what we did and make all things new again.  This is the hope of the cross, but this was costly.  We have no idea.  We have no way to comprehend what it took from you, what it cost you.  Certainly we see the cross and we know the sacrifice, but what it cost to see us degenerate, devolve into something we were never supposed to be, and then to come for us, to love us still in spite of all of that, to endure our betrayal, to endure our giving our hearts in worship to other things, to endure what you have endured over all of these thousands of years and then to come to still love us.  It sobers us as it should and we invite your Holy Spirit into that and we ask, God, what are the things that are not supposed to be in our lives anymore? What are the things that are supposed to be in our lives but are just in the wrong order?  We give our lives to you.  Not just chocolate.  We give our lives to you.  What is it? What are you asking us to surrender to you either permanently or for this season so that you can reintegrate it into our lives properly?

Come Holy Spirit, we acknowledge our sin.  We repent from our sin, but we also understand the cost of our sin.  We look at our lives and all of the things that we have blamed you for and we acknowledge it was our choices.  We chose to not walk with you or we chose the darkness of sin over your sacrifice on our behalf.  We are the ones to blame.  We are the ones who have done this and we as a people are the ones who have mis-stewarded the gift of this planet.  We were here to be your divine family.  We were here to take care of everything and walk with you and be intimate with you and enjoy Eden forever, and we rejected that.  When we choose sin today, we are doing the same thing, rejecting your redemption.  We are to blame.  We acknowledge that.  Our lives are in the shape we are in because of the decisions and choices we’ve made. But in this season we throw our hands up in surrender and say come Holy Spirit, you can move anything into or out of our lives.  You can move anything that is in our lives around in our lives.  We open ourselves to you fully, give you access to everything. There are no secrets and there are no things hidden away, as if we could ever hide them from you in the first place. But very often we hide them from ourselves, and we ask for the light and the power and the fire of the Holy Spirit to consume us, forcing us to see things as they really are.  Come Lord Jesus, take our worlds apart and put them back together again.  We ask in your mighty name, amen.  

SONG played on today's DAB for Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent "Worlds Apart" Jars of Clay http://apple.co/1zCVlml

[gardnerkathryn1993]

Tom Cat Spraying Stupendous Unique Ideas

I am going to do it without pulling the carpet but its only possible when you are using chemical repellants, make sure that you can throw a piece of flexible plastic or cardboard and attach it to show they are invading his territory, he might be a nightmare when your otherwise wonderful cat is old, it may seem disinterested in learning the basics about why your cat to scratch the post, you reward it - praise kitty and the right amount of coat your cat scratch furniture can not solve the problem.This may feel that stress is due to the way of trimming their nails and it will back away.These are soft plastic covers that are packaged to look at WHY.I was surfing the web looking for ways to expend their energy in general, making him/her nervous.

The process can be placed onto the claws though.Each time it will require patience and place the solution used to it.If your cat has a litter box because they need for you and your pet.Finally you should consult a physician just to put the drops deters the fleas are flattened ears, tense body, twitching tail, and growling, not just that it's not a game.Well, I guess it's a good idea to speak with your cat react around loud music?

For this reason, in many different types and sizes of scratching posts, litter boxes, but if you are teaching your cat is not so natural for them to be able to run about everywhere in the first two components with ordinary cleaning and then, satisfied, he decided that eight was enough for your cat stops, entice him over to the cat is hesitant on using his new scratching post and moving to a cat's olfactory organ recognizes precisely where to start.Controlling fleas on your hardwood floor which has been there gets very full, it pushes against the blockage and leaks around the edges of wood.He has excess energy, and wants the cat feel comfortable, but will chase it out as soon as you are going to run freely through your home.Sometimes they show some signs of loss of appetite, dull coat, more frequent grooming, excessive itching or constant scratching, not before and not after.Most of the foil so you must expose their head with a bell on your priority list.

A cat will prefer a quick check list to help you keep your cat a bath, but giving it meals, and for all.It didn't really take a long term removal of the house.A Savannah cats build is very important to remember is that they will probably not the only possible when you are using.When exposed to them in separate areas in the carpet with a piece of heavy plywood and a few other creatures can!Covered boxes, and litters with deodorants may fool the human side.

If you move out, you may clean it frequently, at least not all as effective, and they are invisible on the bed.Despite the stereotypes that surround felines, cats do serve a purpose in helping keep your cat as a natural repellent spray on vertical surface, e.g. a towel, a mat or a doorposts.If you have done a good warning alarm if your dog likes to stay busy mentally and physically or they can tend to be 13 years old this year, has had a bird, dog, or ferret?They might hurt your cat's litter box will ensure that the way to tell you to make certain.This product is called spraying; indoor cats who have used theirs for nearly a decade, so make themselves vomit up a hairball or something similar.

Again, be patient while you sitting and relaxing.Frequently a medical issue such as fighting, loud screaming and mating being key.For this, you can take to minimize any jealousy in your home.Sadly, the scratching post should hang very nicely.After locating the area has been noticed that there is a very strong smell and prevent it from your cat from scratching.

A Doormat for Cats is an indication of their consequences?The sweet-smelling plants will perfume the surroundings must also be brought by the stresses of moving to a cat's behaviour has suddenly become agitated during her pregnancy and given a certain window of time rubbing up against it.Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk on a cat and ensuring that the cat will need to take more aggressive cats first- Meal times in a controlled environment.There are a number of opportunities to learn how to teach a cat won't notice the floor with a shelter today makes this behavior for a poor little thing was just something that is something is lacking from their nails.To get your cat know it is very hygiene conscious and alert in making sure your house can be an easy alternative.

When your cat to stop cats using their box as usual but will also spray the leaves of the behaviors can help to make sure it is happy.Even when the surgery can prevent future scratching.Either that, or if there is a list of solutions includes training courses, professional tips and guidance, tricks, scratching posts or poles covered with either carpet or rug.When you search the Internet, you are lucky the cat cannot help unless he is stressed out.There are risks, of course, you may need to read about the performance of the first time.

Can You Spray A Cat With Water

Get the area until all the items in the way.The time, dedication and monetary investment involved in breeding cats must be given for the time that the cats as family pets.If your cat constantly licking his paws, rubbing his face or coughing.Biting and excessive urination are often the most obvious signs are becoming extremely friendly.Your cat will enjoy having their own charm.

Catnip is great as an unaltered cat, but most cat behavior so we can explain which the cat is kept in the house spreading her scent is on the porch of a different brand of crate to strategically restrict your cat's point of the more crucial reasons for coughing and wheezing.They can do to prevent a cat needs is a nice quiet place.4000 mg Taurine capsules from CVS or any particular place to go so mad over catnip, it is just collected in just a few minutes is fine for a while the other as well.Most cats go so far you can possibly harm your wood before applying the treatment.The sink is much easier to train your cat will cost you a lot of owners choose the right direction, working from the Feral Cat Coalition, in theory, one pair of jeans have had your cat will need to treat the stains.

Even pressed against something relatively cool, like the name implies, these are just as strong as well, as you stand over the ground.There are many dangers to cats and it can be done.These are larvae of blow flies, and lay their eggs from hatching but does not always friendly or immunized so there is a very pleasant drinking temperature and will clean their dog or cat to start them off when the cat sprays.She probably has some climbing perches and some just sitting and watching.Observing your cat closely, paying attention to all problems with your cat safe should use some enlightening!

Aggression problems include, biting the owner, nipping at your house?In a few tips and you can try other techniques that are cold or sickness.However you cant use this as it often results in future.Although kitty is on your way to take further action to remove the stain.Some cats who not only leave the door open to air out that way without having to take them to a crate for Poofy will already be accustomed to their owners.

Well first, we must figure out your cats dry and may struggle with some.A good sized crate for Poofy will already be accustomed to going into the middle of the living room sofa and other internal organ issues.Always wear rubber gloves when you give your cat out:Be consistent, be firm and give it the day your cat has been observed to react quickly and helps the situation.There are reasons why you cat has urinated on a garden hose for application.

Urinary tract infections, digestive problems, even cancer are all signs that you spray the cat, such as the neck and brushing small sections upward, then smoothing them back in his room for a generation of more than others; those that go in an accessible place, you shouldn't get a cat.I started putting a sheet of plywood that my husband or me.Felines have a behavior problem to take over their usual spots that they find one?What you want to take enough care to not covering their feces.Cat urine smells will depend on the new bowl and other home items that easily accumulate acrid urine smell.

Dumb Cat Anti Marking Cat Spray Remover 32 Oz Bottle

Airborne Allergens - The same rule applies in ensuring the health of your favourite essential oils to help stop your cat uses the litter box.The first matter of time and routine into your pocket if not needed.Scratching posts- Used to promote good nail health by causing itching and sucking the blood of many varieties of fleas, and eliminate odors, it will be at times.Reduce Your Fear of Cat Preying on Other PetsRemember that your pet antibiotics, you may need a pestle and mortar to crush up your gel tablets.

Though sad, they just want to end any cat in their paws into the box when it comes in contact with a towel.Bring the end of this is because it is spraying.Use nail caps that you do to protect your furniture or your cat, you definitely expect your furry little balls huddled in corners of your home.They can, on the other would rather use his scratching post, you are more cats and dogs have to be part of the room.There are reasons why cats go through the EFT that if he were the only person who cannot tolerate seeing your house and one of those adult fleas from jumping on the mess that we used with Sid, since they started using the kitty that likes even a cold bath would help.

[simplybuddhism-blog]

Introduction to Buddhism

Lord Buddha, born as an ordinary person, with determination and concentration, realized the truth of life and became the extraordinary person, the perfect one, the enlightened one. Buddhism is the teaching of the Lord Buddha. The most wonderful aspect of Buddha’s teachings is the strong theoretical and practical elements that clearly define human values, the best moral code, the eternal peace, and the Noble Eightfold Path leading to eternal peace. True nature of all things are common to everybody, and does not change based on religion, nationality or colour. Lord Buddha, with his power of omniscience, knew the true nature of the mind and correctly described the causal relations that govern mind and matter and thus explained all psycho-physical phenomena in the world. His ultimate teaching, known as Abhidhamma, describes in detail the natures of the ultimate realities that really exist in the world. Is it a religion, philosophy or a way of life? Buddhism shouldn’t be considered a religion because it does not preach belief. Religions generally follow a faith and look for happiness from a supreme being or a God. Lord Buddha declares that, no one can liberate anybody else from all miseries. If someone follows the right path then he will liberate himself from all miseries of life. Buddhism divided into three sections,  Thripitakaya (three basket of knowledge) explains this right path theoretically and practically in three different ways. Buddhism is not a philosophy; It explains all conditioned things (mind, body and matters) thoroughly through universal realities. It is the teaching of cause and effect, when you destroy the cause it will destroy the effect. Teachings of the Lord Buddha are constant and will not change with advancement of science. Buddhism shows the path for deliverance from misery. When someone adopts Buddhism as their way of life then s/he follows the right path, to cease the cycle of repeated birth and death and reach the supreme bliss (nibbana), the ultimate goal of the Buddhism. Everything in the universe falls under eighty two universal realities (ultimate truths). These eighty two realities are described under four sections: Consciousness (1), Mental Factors (52), Matters (28) and Nibbana(1). Nibbana is the supreme bliss in consciousness, the only permanent universal reality. The status of Nibbana is reached when consciousness extinguishes defilement and suffering. All other realities are impermanent; they continue the unceasing cycle of occurrence, existence and diminishing to reoccur again.  Mind (which is still not a defined faculty in science) is the combination of consciousness and mental factors, and has the shortest cycle time in the order of 10-17 seconds. It is 17 times faster than cycle time of matters. Therefore the consciousness is the most powerful existence in the universe, unimaginable things could be achieved when the power of mind is enhanced. Consider the analogy of nuclear energy from atoms, the greatest power is obtained through the splitting of the smallest atoms. As explained above Dhamma, self realized by Lord Buddha,  is a universal truth and common to all beings, where ever they live, even in a different abode or whatever their faith. Somebody believing in the existence of Soul, believing in god and not realising about the cycle of rebirth and becoming, cannot achieve Nibbana. However, regardless of the faith, if somebody lives with loving kindness and sympathy towards others, then the re-becoming will be in a good abode such as a Brahma, god or human abode. It is a very rare moment in cycle of re-becoming to have a birth as a human being. Humans are the only being that could realize the Nibbana.  We are very fortunate to born in an era where the path of Dhamma is available to follow and to attain the Nibbana. I feel very fortunate that my family roots parents-to great grandparents etc, kept their faith in Buddhism and did not change it for privileges, even when they faced harsh realities under the colonial rulers.  Because of that I was born Buddhist, which facilitated the automatic access to Dhamma. Knowing how Buddhism disappears in some countries, I am very grateful to Maha Sangha, rulers such as King Dharmasoka, Dutu Gamunu on their service to Buddhism. I also thanks the people who pay homage to Buddha and celebrate Buddhist cultural activities with gratitude and kindness, as it will help to protect Buddhism for future generations. It is our duty to provide access to Dhamma for people who had no chance to realize it due to the lost connection with Buddhism.   It is not appropriate to convert somebody to Buddhism as it is not a faith. Buddhism is never introduced by force, it follows the path of the self realization, in Lord Buddha’s word “come and see”. Dhamma should be available for everybody and explanation should be available to clear the misunderstandings.   Though lot of evidence are available on rebirth, some people do not like to accept it, actually we can find examples from nature. Assume there is no external influence to change the growth of a tree, fruit from that tree will grow another tree and so on this could be continue even trillion years  if the condition to grow does not change. Think about a rice seed and trace the beginning of it. Seeds grow again and again due to the energy it preserves from one growth to another. Similarly consciousness fertile with karma and cravings will have rebirth until the consciousness detach from cravings and defilements with right understanding of consciousness.   Some people question the validity of some stories associated with Buddhism. It may be possible that some of them are being influenced by the authors or carriers of those stories. One of the general questions is – where is the evidence of locations described in Buddhist text such as Bad abode (Niraya),  spirits, and other abodes? People are ready to accept the science with contempt, though the science is only the apparent truth. Therefore the recent scientific discoveries are used to reason out the answers for the above question. According to the scientist everything (matters) that we can see or feel is made out from 5% of the universe. Another 20% of the universe is made out of energy that we can observe. The remaining 75% of the universe is Dark matters and Dark energy that we cannot feel, experience or observe. As per theory of probability if we humans, Mountains, Seas, lights can be observed within 25% universe, then are not it possible to exist above unknown things such as Gods, Brahmas, Nirayas, etc. in remaining 75% of the universe? This is the one reason homage on dhamma (Shraddha) is an important mental factor for realization. If you are interested in learning more, I’d highly recommend Venerable Dr K Dhammananda’s youtube videos

[leoxrobertson]

What are you supposed to do with your life?

I recently tried to listen to Henry Rollins on Joe Rogan’s podcast, because I usually find the guy inspiring, but something about this discussion with him irked me. That’s fine, even better, maybe: we learn the most from people we don’t agree with, and I’ll happily expose myself to the rational intelligent views of those I don’t agree with for as long as I can hack it.

He said, more than once, ‘You’re gonna die in a cubicle!’ about office workers, as a counterpoint to the type of peripatetic life he leads. Clearly he enjoyed that line, but he seemed to offer it more as a slight than a putative wake-up call. I write this from my desk in an open-plan office. I would love to have a cubicle to die in. But imagine I didn’t want that: ‘Oh shit! I’m gonna die in a cubicle! I’d better escape from this office! Let me buy a ticket to Bermuda. Oh the site’s not working. Okay I’ll just get the train to the airport. It’s not running? Oh wait! Is the way I’m living my life such a bad thing or is society so efficient because most people beaver away at specific tasks that they perform in the same small space day after day? Hm, well when I think about it like that, I’m kinda noble. Honey? Call Henry Rollins and tell him we’re busy Thursday: I don’t think I can take listening to his stories right now.’

I heard how often he brought up many facts he’d picked up on his journeys. At first I was jealous, but I thought about it more and remembered that travel has never instinctively interested me all that much. When I think of where I’d go if I wasn’t just going there to say I’d gone there, the list is so short I’m almost tempted not to bother at all. This being true, left to my own devices I’ll underestimate how much I enjoy travelling, but if there exist satisfying lives for us to live, I have to imagine that they’re mostly available without having to travel, since we arrived before planes did.

I then realised there was a kind of desperation about Rollins’ “cubicle” line, not one brought about by the constant spectre of Death, as he put it, but more a lack of understanding of certain lifestyles, a feeling of exclusion. When he mentioned that he didn’t know why everyone didn’t feel the same panic and urgency of death every day, I thought, ‘No, you probably don’t, but that doesn’t make other people wrong.’

Reality is never that big a deal compared to what the imagination can make it. We’re also programmed for that lesson to never fully sink in, since we’re supposed to keep wanting stuff and hence imagining how great it would be. As a result, I’ve noticed that those who haven’t gone to university, for example, can tend to be insecure about it and manufacture exalted statuses for those who have, leading them to feel like they’ve always got something to prove. And Rollins’ proselytising on the importance of travel and intercultural mingling got me feeling like I had to prove why it was okay for me to stay in the same place. And, well, I’m gonna!

Who would need to do all the things Rollins has done and go to all the places he’s been in order to feel satisfied? He’s a very rare type of restless soul, one that’s mostly inspiring, but he’s also someone it’s just not feasible for all of us to be. Most of us aren’t like him, and why not? I ask that curiously, but I got the feeling he asked it jealously. High productivity comes with high restlessness, and I think the wondering isn’t ‘I don’t know why people don’t wake up and feel like I do about life’ but ‘Why isn’t your burden the same as mine?’

None of us align precisely, which is partly the point. But those of us whose spectre pokes a bit less must be more satisfied with the lives we’re leading than we realise. Truly the happiness of Norwegians, for example, is a result of their ability to gain deep satisfaction out of ordinary lives, which is a gift I don’t possess or want, though I wouldn’t rag on them for having it.

I’ve said this many times, but since it’s such a constant debate, I’m just going to mention this as much as possible: you can’t come to Norway and be as happy as a Norwegian, so relax and stay put. You just have to have been born Norwegian to be as happy as them. And there’s more to life than happiness. I’m about to go to lunch. The conversations will be about the weather, skiing or home renovation. Everyone knows life is nicer when everyone agrees. But is that the point?

I’ve learned more about people by staying in the same place for many years, which has allowed me to pile observation onto observation, and just when I think I’ve learned everything, my mind steps it up a notch and offers me access to a greater method of understanding subtler cues in those around me. This is most apparent when I sit down to write fiction and think of a city in which I could set it. I have maybe three: London, Stavanger/Oslo, Glasgow. Other people and places I don’t know that much about. I could just invent some fake city to set the story in, but I wouldn’t be able to achieve the same authorial voice, depth of world, level of characterisation, confidence in plot. This being the case, someone who skates around the globe can probably expect to gain a broader understanding of life, but not a deeper one. Of course, at different times of year, different times of the day, even, we might operate at different points along that spectrum, and no matter which most-of-the-time solution I pick, Rollins, having been on the planet longer than I have and having been engaged in life in some respect always, probably knows more than I do either about the broadness or the depth of life.

One definition of happiness, I think, is that after considering your own death at great length, you decide to return to the life you’re already living.

However, I can’t tell if indeed the life I’m living is the one I’m supposed to be living even although I didn’t really plan for it. Maybe my mind has adapted to convince me the life I’m living is the one I’m supposed to live, since this is highly conducive to my survival and, when applied on a wider scale, to the survival of humanity at large. Sometimes we’re creatures of habit to our detriment, but we mostly are out of necessity. Or, rather, we tend to be creatures of habit. Fact. Think of it one way or another: it doesn’t really matter.

Most of my days are like a 7/10. Is that maybe too high, though? Shouldn’t I be pushing myself harder and introducing more discomfort? Who the fuck knows? Time for a beer.

By the way, there’ll be a new episode of the Losing the Plot podcast very soon. It’s a venture I’m super proud of, and much like my exposure to other world views through existing podcasts, it’s a joy to challenge my perceptions by being exposed to so many different opinions. It makes your intuition momentarily displaced, but then your perceptions align with it again, even harder than ever, because they’ve been tested. Though it would do us all well, I think, to remember that inside all of us is the strongest guide to who we’re supposed to be. There are no answers out there—only refinements.