#humans must become more flexible with change. nothing can stay the same.

[fatal-blow]

when the old argument for autism about how "why are so many more people diagnosed with autism" comes up the usual rebukes are that no, we just have different words for it, or no, the modern day is more stressful to autistics which makes them more obvious

but no one wants to wonder if autism, which we know has a genetic component, HAS actually spread through the population. no one seems to want to consider that maybe in the mess of things that makes an autistic person autistic, that somewhere in there is a trait that has been beneficial to humans and as a result proliferated the gene pool

because like that's usually how genes work. generally there are no "good" or "bad" genes (which is why i kinda think eugenics will be impossible). there are so many things that affect how genes are expressed and their impact on the individual, and it's so much more convoluted than we ever imagined when we first started learning about them

plus, the nature of evolution is that genes that benefit the population may not benefit the individual, and vice versa. evolution only cares about genes that make it to the next generation. it doesn't care about how comfy the vessel is as long as it doesn't interfere with that single goal. evolution doesn't care about the disabling effects of autism, it only cares if the genetics involved with autism make it to the next generation. and they have, over and over, so it wouldn't be outlandish to think that it's become more common in the human gene pool, that in fact it's been beneficial to it

[j-amespotter]

★ the last great american dynasty - s. b.

“i had a marvelous time ruining everything.” 

Pairing: Sirius Black x Muggle-born!Reader 

x. x. x.

Summary: A one-shot diving into Sirius’s complicated relationship with Grimmauld Place and where the Muggle-born he falls for fits in.

Genre/Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, alcohol, language, mentions of death & war 

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: so.. this is more of a character study on sirius & his dynamic with his family – i know this song is meant to be about a woman but it also screams sirius to me. i’m a sucker for romance so it’s a reader-insert. fun fact, i was almost done writing this when i realized i wanted it to be a wolfstar fic, but i was too lazy to change it, so just putting that out as a concept lol. let me know what you think & if you’d like me to tag you in future works!! 

masterlist

When Sirius first showed signs of his rebellious nature, Walburga wasn’t worried. After all, many children were incapable of sitting still in large gatherings, mouthing off to their parents, or incessantly teasing their younger siblings. “He will be kept in good company. He will learn,” Walburga would say to her husband. He often exasperated her, but there was no denying her immense pride. Despite his antics, even at a young age, Sirius displayed impressive magical ability and had a commanding presence – excellent qualities for the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. 

She worried only a little when he preferred to spend time with Andromeda, who was clearly becoming disillusioned with their family values, and Alphard, who Walburga believed was beginning to get a little too soft. Still, the Blacks were not raving lunatics. They were traditionalists, committed to upholding the high standards of Wizarding society. Sirius would not defy them, not when the weight of their bloodline rested on his shoulders, not when Regulus would never be able to stomach such responsibility.

On his first night at Hogwarts, Sirius didn't write home. It wasn’t until the morning after that Narcissa delivered the dreadful news to her mother. Walburga’s sister-in-law relished discussing this most recent embarrassment, as the family’s attention was now off her daughter’s courtship of a mudblood. Young Sirius, their direct heir, was sorted into the House of Muggle-lovers and blood traitors, into the House of Godric Gryffindor.

Blown apart by this development, Walburga turned to her younger son. She had no intention of repeating her mistakes and resolved to train him for the responsibility that should have belonged to her eldest. That way, if she was unable to correct Sirius’s behavior, she had back-up. Her legacy was secure. 

During every subsequent holiday, she noticed that the damage was getting more-and-more irreversible. Sirius unabashedly consorted with infamous blood traitors and pathetic half-bloods. He seemed to dread seeing his family as much as she dreaded seeing how much of him she had lost. She tried; no one could say she didn’t. But she was too stern with him. He had inherited his flexibility, or lack thereof, from her. She pushed him too far away. Soon, he stopped returning home for Christmas. When he was sixteen, she spat at him as he closed the door to Number 12 Grimmauld Place one last time, without sparing her a final glance. 

He never expected he would have to return. Offering up the property to the Order seemed like a good idea at the time – he hardly put any thought into it. That was how he made most of his decisions. His track record certainly proved so. When Remus didn’t have anywhere to stay, and neither did the newly-reformed Order of the Phoenix, Sirius knew that his family estate in London was not just their most ideal option, but also the only one they had. 

He managed to enter undetected in his Animagus form with Remus. He had to hand it to fate – there were no extra security measures to keep him out. It was as if she anticipated his arrival. Swallowing, he absorbed his surroundings. Despite the eerie silence and decomposing furniture, it looked like an image straight from his memory. Sirius suddenly felt sixteen again. 

What he did not expect to see, however, was a currently-sleeping life-sized portrait of Walburga Black in the hallway. Though now in his human form, Sirius growled inadvertently. She knew. She always knew that he would come back. She wanted to be there when he did. Unbelievable, he thought to himself. 

Aware of Remus’s wary gaze on him, Sirius walked forward and began pulling on the frame. “Get off, you hag! Remus, help me get this off!” 

Remus went to join his old friend in what seemed like a fruitless mission in his mind but came to an abrupt halt when the portrait, disturbed by her son’s grunts, awoke in a flash of fury. “Filth! Scum! Abomination of my flesh! You are no son of mine,” portrait-Walburga hissed. 

“Shut up, just shut up!” He had not heard her voice since he was near a Dementor, reliving the worst of his teenage years. The visual made it much, much worse. 

“Permanent Sticking Charm, it seems…” Remus said to appease his friend, pulling the withering velvet curtains over its towering frame with all his strength.

“This is torture,” sighed Sirius. “Maybe we can find another place.” 

Remus refused to meet his eye. “For now, it is all we have, Sirius. If it was going to be a problem, you should not have offered it to Professor Dumbledore.” 

Sirius frowned. “It’s all I’m able to do this time around. It’s not like I can go around trailing Death Eaters and infiltrating the Ministry with everyone else.”

“Hopefully, it’s only temporary,” assured Remus, though he was equally as uncertain about Sirius’s fate as a fugitive. “Try not to let this place get into your head, okay?” 

Sirius Black was never good at keeping promises. He had three-and-a-half decades of evidence to back that up. In the weeks following, the Order settled in, consisting of many highly competent Aurors, half-a-dozen Weasleys, and an ex-Death Eater he could do without seeing. Sirius found himself never too far from alcohol, itching for more access. He longed to see Harry and to get away from his wretched house-elf, along with the constant, stinging reminder of his mother's existence. 

But there was something else inside of him, something he couldn’t describe. It was an emotion that was egging him on. He felt it inside of him every time Kreacher muttered complaints about wandering red-headed blood traitor brats. It swirled in his stomach when his mother shouted scathing insults at the clumsy half-blood and filthy half-breed that took temporary refuge in the former pure-blood paradise. 

Then she came. 

She was new. She worked at the Ministry; many of his houseguests were incredibly fond of her. He recognized the innocence in her eyes. It was the same innocence that he had when he first joined the Order seventeen years earlier. It was the same innocence that differentiated every new member from every returning one – they had yet to see tragedy in its fullest form. 

“Hello,” she greeted. She seemed strangely unperturbed by the fact that she was in the presence of an alleged mass murderer. “I’m (Y/N). I’ve been told this is your house. Thank you for playing host.”

“My pleasure,” responded Sirius. Involuntarily, he reached for her hand and kissed it. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of his hollowing cheeks, untamed hair, and liquor-infused breath.

She flushed slightly at the gesture. Black family habits die hard. Just because he chose to refrain from practicing them did not mean he had forgotten, nor did it mean that he wasn’t any good at them. 

Walburga Black’s portrait watched her son fall in love with her. Sirius watched her watch him. There was no telling how she would react. Regulus was dead – it was up to him to preserve their family’s name and purity.

(Y/N) was witty and flirty and incredibly intelligent. He found himself feeling a decade younger as he enjoyed their banter and her overall easiness. Before long, she kissed him in his dimly-lit pantry, and he was too selfish to stop her. They would kiss in every corner of the house, hardly caring that anyone was watching, ignoring the ghosts living within the walls. For Sirius, (Y/N) was his greatest act of defiance. She was born to non-magic parents. As narrated by a disgruntled Kreacher to his now-helpless mistress, she was nothing but a “filthy mudblood.” 

One night, weeks after the children departed for Hogwarts and the house was, as on most days, empty, he caught her staring at the Black family tapestry. Without making a sound, he inched behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hello, beautiful,” he whispered, pressing a kiss on her shoulder. “Sickle for your thoughts?” 

She leaned into him. As the days went on, she would tire easily. Still, she found happiness in Sirius as he did with her, and they both were old enough to know to reach for it in any capacity they got. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid. Let’s get to bed.” 

“As much as I’m a fan of that idea,” he started with a smirk, “you look upset. Is it work? Fudge?” 

“No, nothing like that.” Her fingers traced his blasted name on the wall. She looked thoughtful. “I’ve just… noticed something about you.” 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

“The way you look at your mother.” 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s no secret that I hate her. I hope that’s not off-putting. You’ve seen what she’s like – it was worse when she was alive. I promise I’m a gentleman in general circumstances… for the most part,” he added cheekily. 

She smiled tightly. “No, I get it. It must be terrible for you, being back here.” 

“It is,” he affirmed. “I’ve got you, though. You make me happier than anything, love.” 

“That’s the thing,” she uttered as if it pained her. Sirius could stare at her fiery expression for days on end. To be on the receiving end was strange. “I can’t help but think that you’re only in love with me to spite her. Like your feelings aren’t love, they’re just a culmination of your hatred for her.” 

It took Sirius an eternity to process what she just said. Realizing that he was not going to say anything, she continued. “Believe me, I know you hate it here. But at the same time, you look so… satisfied. You’re hosting a bunch of blood traitors, half-bloods, and a werewolf in this place that was once the pinnacle of blood purity. You’re providing a haven against the bloody Dark Lord. And worst of all, you’re with a mudblood.” 

“Don’t call yourself that,” interrupted Sirius harshly. 

“It’s the truth. If you weren’t in this position, would we even be together?” 

“Of course,” said Sirius. To answer this question, he didn’t even have to think. “I love you because you’re you. You’re beautiful and smart and make me laugh until my stomach hurts. You’re so good with Harry and you can put anyone in their place. You make me feel new again… God, that’s fucking sappy, but it’s true. I indeed hate this place and I hate her but… but if I let her dictate my choices, even when she’s bloody dead, then she’s won. I don’t want her to win. If I was only with you for your blood status, then I would be no different from my mother.” 

She stared up at him, her eyes betraying a wave of emotions. She reached up to kiss him, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Thank you for saying all of that. Just hold on for a little while, alright? Soon, we’ll be out of here. We can have our own house – you, me, and Harry.” 

He smiled at her sadly. It seemed too unreachable of a goal to him at the moment. “By the beach?” “Wherever you’d like,” she answered, leading him to his bedroom, his only sanctuary in the horrible house. 

As they made their way towards the stairs, Sirius glanced at the tapestry over his shoulder, at the seven generations of Blacks behind him. He gently squeezed (Y/N)’s hand. For the first time in his entire life, he felt the weight of carrying his name lift off him. He’d done his part to corrupt his bloodline. It was time for Sirius to focus on himself in a way that the shadows of his past never allowed him to, even in his schoolboy days with James. Being a Black was a part of who he was, and even a disowned Black deserved his long-overdue happiness.

Tagging: @strawberriesonsummer​

[eldritch-araneae]

Windblade, Bumblebee, and Sari from my Sparkpulse AU :3

Below is quick AU explanation ( it’s 13,4k works, I’m sorry I tired to keep it short I SWEAR XD) Also I’m such dumbass, I forgot their Autobot sigils! XDDD

Core ideas of the AU:

It’s basically G1+TFA+Cyberverse mix;

This AU revolves around Bumblebee as the main protagonist;

Autobots crash-landed on Earth in 1985, they landed in Detroit, specifically on Belle Isle; 

Earth became their home and Autobots pretty much-integrated into human society over 33 years. They influenced human society a lot, that helped to avert climate and energy crisis( as not wanting humans going the same road as cybertronians by depriving their planet of resources);

Ark has fusion reactors that are used in Energon production. Autobots encouraged humans to use their own fusion reactors, which allowed human civilization to completely get rid of fossil fuel as the main power source;

Setting: Solarpunk (when the story happens);

Sparks exist and give a lifeforce to all forms of life, not just to cybertronians;

Cybertron is gone, nothing can fix it;

Decepticons only arrive in 2018.

Bumblebee’s Background.

Bumblebee is the youngest among Autobots, who was found on the road unconscious back on Cybertron by Jazz. 

After examining him, Ratchet shares his concerns with Optimus - not only Bumblebee is abnormally small but his plating is soft and flexible, yet fragile, it would be easy to cut and melt through. He also lacks physical strength. 

All of this implies that Cybertron has no more resources to forge any new bots and Bumblebee is the last.

This means there is no way Optimus should send the minibot to fight ( tho Bee has a lot of courage and will pull some crazy stunts here and there), so instead he assigns Bee for scouting and spying missions under Jazz’s supervision ( Special Operations).

Introductions went pretty well, though Optimus admitted that Bumblebee’s face seemed familiar.

Soon, after the first few scouting missions, it’s revealed that Bee has a bit more problems. His spark is strange, it’s producing way too much energy that his small frame can handle, resulting in the erratic sparkpulse that overwhelms his entire system and shut him down for 5 minutes.

Thankfully it was discovered after Bee finished his duty, but still, it raised a lot of concerns. Ratchet tried his best to examine his spark chamber, only to find that the minibot’s spark was sealed shut in some sort of protective shell. This shell cannot be opened. Cutting through it would be bad, so Ratchet opted to work with what he has. 

He first suggests Bee burn down this excessive energy, which works pretty well, as training with Windblade, or doing short races where it’s relatively safe with Hot Rod and such. Still, despite his efforts, the spark eventually will send a huge energy surge that would force-reboot Bumblebee. It didn’t stop Bee from taking on his missions and one of the reboots happened in the middle of the duty. That scared the shit out of everyone as they lost contact with him while he was on Decepticons territory. Thankfully, like clockwork, he was back in 5 minutes. After he completed the mission of securing intel, he had to convince Optimus that he would be okay even if he shut down because Deceptions would never catch him. Bee reveals that he has one interesting ability - he can sense sparks of others( both signature and the pulse). 

For some reason, he thought everyone could do this, that's why he never mentioned it before. 

That allows him to plan ahead, as he pays attention to hiding places and Deception’s nearby and how they move, easily avoiding his enemies. 

Soon he’s pretty much known as the elusive Autobot who will break onto your base, steal all your shit and get away without being caught. Megatron even places a big bounty for catching Bumblebee that is yet to be fulfilled. Then he gets known for being someone who Deceptions, who wants to join Autobots can go to and arrange the meeting with Optimus Prime. Windblade always helps him with this: Bee can sense what is spark feeling, while she can use psychic abilities to catch a sense of their intent. Together they never made a mistake, though there were a couple of close calls.

So this keeps going for a short period of time until Bee catches some terrible wave of spark signatures, emitting from below. Something tells me that they are in grave danger and Autobots must leave Cybertron for good. Such a claim isn’t taken lightly, asking what proof Bee has. 

Sadly, he cannot prove anything aside from “terrible screams of mass death coming from Cybertron's core”. He feels like he knows, but he cannot recall any memories from his data banks. All he knew was that they were screwed and it’s all because of Shockwave ( who Bee hates the most, not even Megatron sparks so much anger within him as seeing Shockwave does.). Windblade also caught this as well with her different sensors so she sided with Bumblebee. Then she decided to look into Bee’s mind and see if she can help Bee to recover those memories. 

It quickly proves that it’s not that simple - all his memories that come before he was found by Jazz are sealed away. And not by some hard-coding shenanigans, but by Vector Sigma - a device that was used to program the AllSpark ( the thing that gives life to cybertronians) so it will create a desired form of life.

 And not just him, but Windblade also discovered this seal, though it only seals specific cluster to memories, which timeframe aligns with Bee’s seal.

So they had a picture: Shockwave did something that messed up Cybertron’s core and, presumably, Bee and Windlade witnessed this( and apparently have met before)? The only way to find out, a break-in to The Spire of Forging ( a place where cybertronians were born), and use Vector Sigma to break the seals. 

That caused a huge fight as the spire was currently controlled by Decepticons, while Megatron suddenly got an idea to use the AllSpark to reprogram Autobots into Decepticons. So it becomes a race. Windbalde, Bumblebee, and Optimus have reached the Chamber of Creation first...only to find out that Vector Sigma is destroyed - the device was cut apart and crucial components were missing. But it wasn’t all - the AllSpark was gone as well!

Understanding that there is nothing they can do, they retreat, followed by angry Megatron’s shooting.

After the battle Optimus informed anyone of their grim situation: AllSpark is missing( they searched for it, this artifact that very strong and unique signature but it’s literally nowhere on Cybertron), Vector Sigma is destroyed and there is still a threat that gets closed to the surface that will destroy them all ( Bee was very insistent of leaving). 

So he makes it a vote between all Autobots: shall they leave or keep fighting. To Bee’s surprise, the majority decided on leaving. Relieved, he begins helping others to prepare Ark ( their spaceship) for a long journey.

When Ark was ready to launch, some complications happened ( as the ship wasn’t in perfect condition for interstellar travels) but they managed to leave Cybertron and begin their journey to their new home.

In general, Bee is in a good relationship with almost every Autobot. Optimus values him as both an amazing scout and a good friend who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and question everything.

Bumblebee befriends Windblade - the cityspeaker from Caminus ( which was of one the first colonies that were destroyed during the war). She absolutely adores Bee’s carefree and optimistic attitude, never being tired of his silly antics ( which he often does on purpose to lighten her mood). 

They become pretty close, and Bee has no problem opening up to her, like sharing his fears ( he is really brave but isn’t fearless).

Some bots like Sunstreaker don't really like Bumblebee much. He thinks that Bee is a defective bot that will doom their entire cause and this animosity intensified when Bee starts bringing in former Decepticons and insisting on leaving their planet behind. (Sunstreaker’s twin, Sideswipe, admits it’s probably because his brother used to be like Bumblebee, kind and hopeful, but the war has changed him and he hates it.) 

Bumblebee tried his best to ignore Sunstreaker, but it is difficult as he compares himself to bigger and stronger bots, feeling like what he’s doing isn’t enough. That being fast, athletic and cunning isn’t enough - he must be more, he must become strong. Which causes him to take some crazy decisions that will put Bee in danger and probably get hurt. 

He desperately craves recognition and respect from others while not realizing that he already has it.

The arrival of Autobots on Earth in 1985.

After one warp jump, they ended up in the Solar System. The Ark wasn’t doing well ( esp engine) and needed repairs if they wanna continue their journey. Teletraan-1 scanned the solar system, informed Autobots about the planet they are currently orbiting (Earth) has a sentient lifeform along with a diverse ecosystem. This surprised everyone because of the odds of them jumping tens thousand light-years away from Cybertron and ending up near other sentient beings.

Optimus didn’t wish to disturb other sentient beings, he decided that they should move to another planet, fix their ship, and move out. 

For that Teletraan-1 suggested staying on the fifth planet’s orbit which is a gas giant (Jupiter). Gas Giants are known for having a lot of hydrogen and helium and additionally, some chemical compounds like ammonia which can be used in producing deuterium and tritium ( isotopes of hydrogen)  which are used as fuel for fusion reactors.

The only issue was how to get there, as their ship is fragile at the moment. Wheeljack suggested using gravity assist still should be okay.

Teletraan-1 calculated the positions of the planets and it’s been decided they were gonna use Earth’s gravity to propel forward, then circle around and do another flyby near Earth - that would give them another speed to reach Jupiter.

Suddenly Teletraan-1 informs the crew about a big asteroid that is headed in their direction and the collision is imminent. It happened fast, before Autobots could maneuver Ark off of the way. After the asteroid successfully vibe checked Autobots, the Ark got seriously damaged and was flung towards the planet. They couldn't break from gravitational pull so Autobots had to prepare for impacts, which would be easier if the ship weren’t breaking apart at that moment, Teletraan-1 did it’s best to stir the ship away from the cities.

Meanwhile, in chaos, Bumblebee fell into a hole in the ship’s walls and he landed in the water of Lake Erie. The impact was terrible as it almost tore his arm from his body. He screamed in pain and was forced into reboot.

Then he woke up next time, he was still in the water, completely disoriented - mostly to the fact he could sense so many sparks around him. He brushed it off as it wasn't important at the moment. 

While still being in pain, he managed to swim up to the surface to look around. Bee saw a big smoke rising in the distance, assuming this is where Ark landed, he tried to make his way there. 

Then Bee sensed something nearby, another spark with clear distress radiating from it. He looked around but saw nothing, then he submerged under the water. He saw a small figure who was struggling to swim. 

Bee dive deeper ( while doing his best to ignore the pain of his damaged arm), gently caught the figure and went back to the surface. The figure took a big inhale and coughed a lot. Bee was concerned, but he could only observe for now. 

He first noticed how this being kinda reminded him of his own kin: they have 4 limbs- 2 legs and 2 arms with 5 fingers, the face structure is similar as well, they also warm and look like they vent as well ( aka breathing. Cybertronian’s breathing is part of the air cooling system.see more in Trivia). While there was a lot of difference as well( being organic lifeform and such), that amazed Bumblebee that he almost forgot about his hand.

After being calmed down, the figure finally looked at their savior only to meet face to face with a giant alien robot. He yelled as a surprise, while Bee yelled back because the former's yell startled him pretty much.

After the shock faded and understanding that Bee wasn't doing anything bad ( they were just chilling in the lake) they sighed in relief and smiled, thanked him for saving them. Bee cannot understand what the figure says, but he assumes right he can sense relief emitting from the figure’s spark and replies, which of course the other didn’t understand as well.

The figure then gestures towards the mainland that isn’t far away, while making a paddling motion which Bee understood as “take me to the land”. He nodded ( to his relief on it means the same thing for humans) and he began swimming towards the land. Which pretty much drained him as they both arrived and his hand got worse. 

Bumblebee curled on the ground, trying to endure, but once again his system shut him down. The last thing he hears as the figure calls to him is a worry.

The next time he awoke, he wasn’t by the lake anymore, but inside of some sort of garage. He was lying on the floor and he tried to get up, but again his arm hurt, though he noticed that this time the pain is tolerable somehow.

He looks to the side and sees that his entire arm was wrapped into some weird stuff, kinda looking like duct tape? Sure it was flimsy, it kept his arm from falling apart.

Two figures entered the room: one he’s already familiar with, which is this person he saved from the lake, and others. They look similar to each other, the other person looking older, for some reason they reminded him of Ratchet. Bee tried to sit up again, but the pain wasn't letting him. Two people instantly got worried, saying something to him which he imagined was something like “please don’t move”. The older one went close to examine the arm closely, Bumblebee knew this look: a look of someone who is checking on the work they did...really reminded of Ratchet again. 

Bee sighs and gives a small smile and thanks to them, though he knows they won’t understand the hopes that the tone of his voice suggested the meaning. The older person nods in acknowledgment, then they exchanged a few words with the younger one and left the room.

The younger one sat by Bee. Autobot looked at them, observing them once more, taking more onto more features and he could tell that they did the same with him. Suddenly their expression lighted up as if they had an idea. Bee tilted his head slightly in question.

Making sure that Bee’s attention is on them, the figure points at themself says “I”. At first, Bee was confused, so they repeated it again. The only thing he could think of is to repeat the same. The exclamation followed by a nod means he did it right. Then they pointed at him and said “you”. Bee did the same...and suddenly it’s clicked. The language, they were teaching him their language!  He smiled and they continued.

Somewhere in the middle of this, they finally introduced each other. The person’s name is Spike Witwicky, a 15yo boy who is living with his father and helping him with the car repairs business. When Bumblebee introduced himself, Spike giggled, saying that Bee’s name sounded exactly how they call a specific insect. The Autobot snorts, funding this coincidence amusing. 

What a strange planet, and he began liking it already. 

Spike asks if Bee came from that huge ship that was falling. He nods, explaining ( in his broken English I imagine) that an asteroid took them down, and then he fell through the hole into the water at high speed that almost tore his arm off. Spike winced sympathetically, assuring that now Bee is gonna be alright. Then he thanks the yellow Autobot for saving him, Bee smiled in response, saying he did what he was right. Though he gets curious how Spike ended up in the water in the first place and Spike blushes in embarrassment because he was looking at the descending Ark and he wasn’t paying attention that he was hanging on slippery ground. He fell and since he wasn’t a good swimmer, the current took him away from the land until Bumblebee found him later.

Soon Spike’s father returns with more supplies and he was pleasantly surprised that their guest can communicate with them. Bee thanks him for patching his arm, tho the old guy says he can do some more, while they try to find out where the Ark landed so they can return Bee back to his people.

A bit later in the evening, Spike decided to show Bee various VHS tapes documentaries about Earth( he almost moved tv and VHS player to the garage), he could have a picture of what their planet was like. The Autobot happily agrees, being both curious and see it as an opportunity to learn more English words.

After a few days, Spike’s dad found out where the Ark landed, on Belle Isle. He offered Bumblebee a lift ( he has a truck which also was used to transport the Autobot from the lake’s shore). Bee gladly agrees, being happy they were helping him even though they didn't have to. To which Spike replied that Bee didn't have to save him either, but he did it anyway.

Spike with dad helped him to get onto the thing where to connect the thing ( lol I forgot), they both sat into the car and began their ride.

The trip went okay, Bee even relaxed and looked around the city, being amazed because everything was new, the sensations were new. Though sure he could see people staring at him, understanding that they know about Autobots...after all, there is no way you could miss something like this as their crash landing. There was probably a lot of news going on about this. 

Thankfully, Spike informed him that the ship didn’t kill anyone during the crash, which was a great relief on his spark. 

Soon they arrived at their destination, Bee peeks over the truck to see the damage around ( a lot of broken trees), and the Ark wasn’t looking so good. He hoped at least everyone was okay!

Suddenly Windblade quickly walked out of Art’s entrance, expecting these humans to be more reporters or whatever and before she could draw any conclusions, Bee called her name and waved with his good arm which instantly grabbed her attention. 

She ran over to her best friends, that he’s alive ( she was looking everywhere and was worried sick) and really wanted to bear hug him, but she saw the arm, so she hugged him gently. Then Bee explained to her that those humans helped him ( gesturing to his broken arm). Windblade thanked the theme, as Bee translated to them. 

After that Windblade announced to everyone over comms that Bee is alive and found, but required medical attention. Meanwhile, Spike looked a bit sad and asked if he’ll see Bumblebee again. The bot smiled and told him that he memorized the path from Spike’s home to Ark, so he will find it again. For that Spike jumped into a hug ( Windblade quietly ‘awww’ed at the scene). 

Windblade helped Bee to stand up and get off the truck, both humans wished Bumblebee speedy recovery before they headed home. She was asking Bee about his new friends ( and also commenting how it was only their couple of days on this planet and he already befriended aliens amazing), Bee ofc told her everything.

On Art, the crew was overjoyed with Scout's return, though Ratchet quickly led him into the med bay as it was clear how much damage he sustained. Meanwhile, Bee sends to Teletraan-1 anything he learned in English, to share with other Autobots, which Optimus was delighted with such a turn of events as it meant he can finally properly contact humans.

After Autobots got a bit established ( like making connections with humans and stuff), Bee finally paid a visit to Spike, the boy was so happy to see him again. 

After that Bumblebee and Spike spend a lot of time together and become friends. Spike also befriended Windblade, while we weren’t as close with her as with Bee, they enjoyed each other's company. Spike’s dad also made friends among Autobots. Together they learned more about the world they were stranded in, with all its beauties and problems, discovering new things like sparks actually being in every living being, Bee has to train himself to probably filter signals, he mostly focused on sensing his fellow Autobots and humans.

Bee quickly grew attached to Earth, not really missing Cybertron anymore. Sure there are a lot of processes and it’s different for everyone but Autobots felt that they can actually live again ( or begin living for younger bots who were forged during the war), the future seemed bright.

When Spike got older ( around 18 yo) he informed Bumblebee that he will leave Detroit for a university opportunity. The news saddened the scout, not wanting to part with his human friend, but he understands that he shouldn’t be in the way of Spike’s hopes and dreams. Out of curiosity, he asks Spike what he’s gonna study ( he had multiple guesses because Spike liked a lot of things).To that Spike replied with the biggest smiles that he will become an astrophysicist! Spike never could choose one thing, but that fateful day when Autobots arrived has sealed the deal. He hoped that he would work at NASA one day. They both laugh.

The day when Spike was leaving, along with his father, they said goodbye. Spike promised to stay in contact with Bee, and the bot promised the same. Kilometers apart won’t matter, they will always remain best friends forever.

Bumblebee missed Spike greatly after this and he needed time to accept this, but thankfully they both were true to their promise and stayed in contact for all years to come.

Fast forward to 2018.

This is when the story would begin, as all previous events described in this document to this point would be revealed through flashbacks and such.

Autobots have been living in peace for 33 years now. They helped humans to progress, technologically, and socially ( Solarpunk setting). They are integrated into society and have jobs( Bee for example is a courier, though sometimes he acts as a diplomat at important meetings that he attends with Prime as humans tend to like him), some bots scattered across the globe to do their thing (though they ofc course pay visits to Ark).

The Ark is part of a big overgrown forest on Belle Isle. It is because Wheeljack and Perceptor wanted to fix the damage they did to the environment during their crush. And after some experimentation, trial, and error they made some sort of serum that stimulates trees to grow fast. Too fast even as plants got out of hand at one point, so they had to fix this as well.

Bumblebee took a liking of plants, so he started his own collection. This private chamber was damaged and has a missing wall after the crash, later it was fixed, it expanded a bit and has a lot of light coming in through windows so it’s perfect for plants keeping. 

6 years ago he and Windblade befriended human Sari Sumdac, who is now 30 years old head engineer, working at Sumdac Systems along with her father. She's an absolute gremlin and always up to shenanigans, which awakes the gremlin side of Bee. Windblade tags along as well, maybe to keep an eye on them. All three are close friends :3

Sari builds an exosuit that improves her strength and grats a lot of cool abilities ( aka Iron Man but cooler) in case Decepticons show up.

He’s also in contact (which thanks to the internet became much easier) and friends with Spike, who is 48 years old astrophysicist at NASA, married to Carly, and has adopted son Daniel. Spike with his family visits Detroit each year to hang out with Autobots.

There is a lot of shenanigans happening on Ark, especially in group chat ( aka Discord server? with Sari and Spike invited.) The higher command are mods, but sure, Jazz loves changing channels names into something stupid :D

There are always twins ( Sideswipe and Suntreaker) with pranks, Jazz blasting music, Wheeljack blowing himself up again while Ratchet complains, fixing him again and again. They would do a lot of activities when free, (imagine them playing Among Us, Bumblebee being such a good imposter >:3) adopting human customs, they even get invited sometimes to entertainment shows ( you know, like those with two teams they have to do various impressions, etc).

The Bee loves music and got into drumming ( he had a habit of focusing on someones’ sparkpulse, using it as a base beat and used his hands to drum on various surfaces as entertainment back on Cybertron), he always does collabs with Windblade ( electro guitar), Sari ( keyboard + other electronic stuff, like a theremin) and sometimes Spike ( saxophone) to do video game music covers, they have a channel ( editing video and maintaining are on Jazz).

Fun fact: Bee’s drumkit and Blade’s guitar are one of few things of cultural value that actually survived the war, though they required repairment and some adjustments ( because the kit was too big for Bumblebee), they are in good condition now. There is writing on Cybertronian, showing the name of the company that used to produce instruments all those million years ago. 

Autobots are living their best life, even though they are prepared in case Decepticons will show up at their doorway.

The arrival of Decepticons.

Decepticons left Cybertron soon after Autobot’s, as Megatron believed that Optimus stole the AllSpark and was determined to take it back and use it to fix their broken homeworlds. Unlike Ark, their spaceship, Nemesis, was in [perfect condition. so they traveled from star to star in order to find a signal from AllSpark.

The problem was that no matter how Shockwave updated the scanning system, they just couldn't find any traces. It was frustrating to Megatron, he could feel how much energy this object radiated every time he walked into the Chamber of Creation, but there was literally nothing. It couldn't just vanish into thin air, can it?

So they just kept guessing, checking every nearby star system. It took a lot of time and was fruitless and the Decepticons grew tired. Starscream especially, always dreamed about taking Megatron’s place and rule Decepticons. So one day, after another failure to locate the AllSpark, Megatron and Starscream broke into a fight, resulting in the warlord throwing his second in command at the control panel by accident. 

Starscream face planted random coordinations and the Nemesis warp jumped to the Solar System, placing them on Earth’s orbit. Sunday scanners activated as they found Autobots’ signatures on this planet. Megatron laughs, he finally found Optimus so the AllSpark must be with them.

Soon they landed somewhere outside of Detroit, which didn't go unnoticed. Teletraan-1 alerts Autobots immediately. Bumblebee volunteers to investigate, followed by Windblade as a backup. Optimus approves the mission and the trio goes to Nemesis location.

Bee gets close to Nemesis, while Blade stays in the air just in case her friend needs a quick escape. He knows the plans of the ship well ( he infiltrated it a number of times), so he easily slips through the guards inside, into the vents. Soon he locates Megatron and carefully listens. He finds out about Megatron's intention to seize the AllSpark from Autobots. Looks like it's the only reason why they even came here and he will turn the city apart to get it.

Thankfully Wheeljack made a force field that won't let Decepticons in as a precaution for years ago. Still, that is a grim sign and they have to deal with Deceptions regardless. 

Bumblebee hacks into their system and quickly downloads important intel.

Then he sees Shockwave, it takes a lot of self-control to not hiss, Megatron just gives him simple orders to oversee something. He takes orders and leaves, but Bumblebee notices that he went in a completely different direction ( as Bee knows the ship well) and didn't like it. Bee wants to follow and see what this mad scientist is planning, but he senses Ravage nearby. The cat is also moving quickly through vents, probably because Soundwave ejected him here in case Bumblebee will show up.

The scout quickly gets out beforeRavage discovers him and leaves. On the way back he shares his findings with Windblade, and later back on Ark with the high command of Autobots. They don't have the AllSpark (and even if they had they wouldn't give it to Megatron anyway), and they must drive Decepticons off the planet, or convince Megatron to stop.

So after this, I imagine a few instances when Decepticons tried to attack the city ( but couldn't get it), Autobots would usually lure them away from the city and fight them there. Here examples of shenanigans that happened:

Sudden dance off, the seeker trio( Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp) was really confused about this shit;

Sari ( in her suit) is legit disassembling Decepticons in the mid-fight. Imagine, Starscream wants to shoot, but his null rays fall off, awkward;

She also stole t-cog ( the detail responsible for transformation) from Blitzwing, much later it was returned;

Devastator caught Bumblebee and was going to quash the scout. Bee on the other hand focused on Devastator’s sparks ( he’s a combiner, made out of 6 Decepticons known as Constructicons) by accident and could hear that chaos that is happening in Devastator’s mine ( since all 6 don't merge into one, they still present chatter, telling Devastator what to do which is pure chaos). That overwhelms him and he yells “QUIET”, silencing 6 six constructions which seriously freaks Devastator out and he falls apart. Much later he did the same trick again when tried to throw Devastator at Autobots again;

Optimus is trying to convince Megatron that they don't have the AllSpark which isn't working. Not letting his frustration get ahead of him, Prime starts throwing memes( which he carefully chose for a specific situation) at Megatron. Megatron is not amused ahah).

Megatron wants to move forward and maybe to take on other cities to force Prime to surrender, but Autobots are one step ahead( as they planned), surrounding Nemesis from various positions ( as Optimus called all other Autobots that live in different locations) to harass Deceptions from time to time, trapping their enemies effectively. 

Conspiring with cassettes.

Later Autobots find out that despite the force field being up, and effectively repelling Deceptions, Soundwave’s cassettes are actually able to squeeze through. Wheeljack is hypothesizing it’s probably because of their size ( they are smaller than Bumblebee as intended) and looking for a solution to solve this.

Interestingly enough, cassettes ( 5 of them: Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and twins: Frenzy and Rumble) are not causing chaos while being out in the city. Bumblebee is keeping an eye on them, he can easily track them down, though they move fast which turns into some sort of game. At some point, he actually exchanges words with Ravage. Bee is trying to understand cassette's motives, but Ravage keeps it to himself ( though Bee senses some sort of enjoyment instead of malice).

Later Bumblebee gets a message from Rumble: they have a bomb and will blow up something ( I haven't decided sorry) if Bumblebee won't come to them alone. Knowing this is turned into a fight, he goes anyway without telling anybody as he wants to get to the bottom of this.

This indeed turns into a fight, as cassettes demand Bee to tell them where the AllSpark is. Bee tells them he has no idea like anyone else. Ravage asks why Bumblebee doesn't want to restore Cybertron, to which Bee replies that there is literally nothing left to restore. The AllSpark isn't some sort of magical object that can fix all their problems. Besides, Decepticons had it in control, why didn't they use it then? The situation gets really awkward after this, Frenzy admits that Megatron saw devastation only after Autobots left as his focus shifted to other things after his enemies were gone.

The fight stops, Bumblebee seizes the moment and asks where is the bomb they threatened him with earlier. Laserbeak just casually shows it, and in fact, it wasn't even activated. Rumble tells him when Megatron found out that cassettes and slip through the barrier, he ordered Soundwave to use the bomb to cause chaos. This isn't really what cassettes want to do, because finally in a million years they can actually roam free and explore new locations and things safe from Megaton. 

Cassettes admit that they aren't really loyal to their leader, only participating in war because their caretaker, Soundwave, was loyal to Megaton...though his loyal shifted and now his loyalty revolves around keeping his cassettes safe because Megatron won't be nice if he finds out. So he keeps up his appearances, while he lets his cassettes roam free.

Bumblebee understands that situation is complicated, but he sees this as an opportunity to end this stupid war. After all, Soundwave is highly regarded by Megatron, so maybe he can work with this.

Buzzsaw thought asks what they are gonna do now as they failed the task, which is quickly decided to shift all blame onto Bumblebee, even for future situations like this as Bee revealed that he can sense from far away from anyone. Ravage realized it’s the reason why he and others were never able to catch him! So after this being decided they went back and Bee returned to Ark, sharing this only with Sari, Windblade, and Optimus Prime for security reasons, he doesn't want to blow cassettes cover by accident.

Infiltrating Nemesis again.

Bumblebee isn't having a good time. He gets forced into reboot more frequently than it used to, especially during battles with Decepticons. Autobots had to save him multiple times, which was a blow to his self-esteem. Not to mention Sunstreaker was at him again, insulting the scout. Bumblebee yelled at him in return ( something that never happened before), he gets angrier and more frustrated. His best friends are doing their best to help, but there is little they can do.

Ratchet examined him and scanners show that the spark shell is losing its integrity, as it wears off over time. That explained why so many reboots happened recently. He says that Bumblebee shouldn't go on the missions at all, and Optimus agrees with this. Bee doesn't take it well, believing they think he’s now being useless to them, and storms off.

Then he sneaks out at night, planning to infiltrate the Nemesis again with two purposes: to prove that he is still useful to Autobots and to find out what Shockwave is up to ( it still bothers him a lot).

He sneaks in like usual and at first, it was okay, but then the vent under him broke ( yeah those vents are worn off over so many years too) and he fell right before the Seeker Trio. So the chase begins, Bee still can get away and he knows the ship but suddenly an unfortunate thing happens - his spark malfunction again and sends him into forced reboot.

Next time he awakens, he’s being restrained on some sort of medical table, which Bee quickly recognizes where he is - in Shockwave quarters. That sends terror to his spark, not only he’s been caught and Autobots don't know where he is, but he’s at mercy of the mad scientist. 

He tried to break free, but it’s useless, he never had much strength anyway. He looks around, and among his various projects, he sees something like a spire blueprint projected on the screen. It seems like it’s part of Nemesis. He doesn't like this at all. 

Shockwave enters the rooms, carrying various tools with him. Bee asks what he’s gonna do with him. The scientist doesn't reply first as he runs the scanner over Bee’s entire body ( while he’s changing the project on his scene meanwhile), it detects something in Bee’s spark chamber. 

Bee asks why Shockwaves keeps doing this,( like his sick experiments that even Megatron did not approve of). To this, the scientist replies that this war is going way too long and it will never end. So he decided to have a little fun while he can, he wants to relish in chaos and see the world burn.

He says that Bumblebee is carrying something interesting inside and he wants to find it. Shockwave activates his cutting tool and gets closer, intending to cut Bumblebee open.

Thankfully, salvation comes in an unusual form, Soundwave enters the room and demands to hand Bumblebee to him. Shockwave is not amused and refuses, so both argue until Shockwave gets an order directly from Megatron because the warlord wants Soundwave to dig intel out of elusive Autobot scout. After that, Shockwave can do whatever he wants with the prisoner.

Bee sighs with relief as he is escorted to Soundwave quarters. He doesn't make an attempt to escape, he can't really run away with a stasis cuff one + hr wants to get more insight on the Communication Officer. Maybe Soundwave knows what Shockwave is planning.

When they arrive, Bumblebee gets fully restrained again, and he’s mind gets connected to Soundwave’s systems ( via a cord) to start digging thought Bee’s mind ( if I remember correctly, Soundwave can read minds and emotions bc he can sense electric impulses in the processor or brain, he using cord here bc he wants to do deeper). 

Bee is pretty calm about this, he doesn't carry any useful intel ( he usually drops it at Teletraan-1 when he completes the duty). So Soundwave is stuck with casual memories while looking for any indication of the AllSpark, though he comments on Bee's good drumming skills.

Meanwhile, Ravage self-ejects from Soundwave’s chest and be like “dude seriously how the fuck did you get caught?? what are you doing even?”. Bee asks if they know anything about Shockwave’s plans. Such a question surprises both Decepticons, Bee understands that they don't know anything. Ravage doesn't like the sound of this and asks Bee to elaborate, but before he can answer, the scout looks to the side, sensing Megatron is coming in this direction. 

Ravage quickly transforms and tucks himself back into Soundwave’s cassette deck. In a minute, the warlord himself entered the room. He is pleased to see Soundwave already working on the task, while he turns to Bumblebee to take a good look at him as he never has seen the scout, who ruined a lot of his plans, up close - Bee would always be in the distance or lingering on the corners of Megatron’s optics before vanishing out of sight.

Megatron is acting pretty smug as a big nuisance in his grasp, though he admits he feels like he saw Bee’s face somewhere ( same reaction as Prime). He starts monologuing about how it would be great if Bumblebee would join him, they would win this war quickly. Maybe the little scout would convince Optimus Prime to join them, to which Bee asked if Megatron is still salty about Optimus breaking up with him.

That quickly pisses Megatron off, he grabs scout's neck and pins him heavily on the table, saying that he should watch his mouth. Bee isn't having this, replying ( as much as he can with his throat squeezed) that Megatron is an insolent fool who only focuses to keep Starscream on a leash, while Shockwave is plotting under his nose.

Megatron would probably hurt Bumblebee after this, but Sundewave reminded his leader that he’s still working and needs the scout in pieces. Megatron gives the order to continue, while he leaves. Both Bee and Soundwave sigh in relief, the latter commenting that the scout should keep it down in Megatron’s presence, to which Bee replies that someone had to say this.

Soundwave soon stumbles upon the Vector Sigma seal, locking the rest of Bumblebee’s memories. Soundwave asks Bee about this, to which the scout gives him the honest answer - he doesn't know how it got there and it’s been there already when he “first” woke up. Bumblebee asks if Soundwave can break it. The communication officer makes a few attempts, but it doesn't affect the seal at all. They need Victory Sigma, but it’s gone.

Bee expressed his frustration because he felt like the answer lies beneath it, but he said that he will find a way to stop Megatron. Soundwave replies that it’s impossible, but Bee doesn't buy this, he noticed the other reaction and it was hopeful.  

Bumblebee also notices multiple sparkpulses inside Soundwave, his cassettes, but only 5 of them are active, while there are many more of them, and those cassettes are being stasis. Bee asks Soundwave how long they’ve been asleep. Soundwave pauses, not expecting that question, and they reply that they have been in stasis since the beginning of the war.

Bee now understands, Soundwave has been working hard for Megatron, wanting to end the war as quickly as possible ( that was a motivation for a lot of Decepticons as Bee found out when they reached out for him), while sparing most of his cassette the trauma.

They sat in silence for a minute before Megatron contacted Soundwave, demanding his presence somewhere while ordering to leave a cassette to guard the prisoner. Soundwave sits for another minute, communicating with these cassettes, then ejects Ravage and leaves the room.

Ravage stands still, listening to the environment and making sure the coast is clear, then tells Bumblebee “you broke out using shock bombs, understood?” and releases the scout. Bee quickly gets up, thanking the cat. To that Ravage says “Go left now, I’ll give you ten seconds”. Bee nods and runs out of the room. 

After ten seconds the alarms burst on, informing that the prisoner had escaped. For convenience, Bee uses a few shock bombs he has with him as Decepticons try to stop him. 

He gets out, though he’s also pretty beaten up and it takes hours for him to get back to Ark ( he couldn't transform). He collapses then he crosses the entrance.

When Bee awakens, he’s on a medical table. His body is fixed, though Ratchet gave the minibot an earful of lecture for defying his recommendations and now Bee’s spark shell is even more strained. Prime also talks to Bee, reassuring the scout that no, Optimus and other Autobots don’t see him as burned and he doesn't have to go to such lengths to prove himself ( those conversations happened often back on Cybertron).

Bee doesn't reply, yet the give into he gathered when he was stuck on Nemesis.

Soon after this, Bee actually gets to talk with Sunstreaker to resolve their issue. The taller Autobot admits that he’s been projecting a lot because he used to be like Bumblebee when he was younger. Then he was envious because, despite everything, Bee remains kinds and hopeful. The scout tells him it takes a lot of work to keep being him after all those tragedies he had witnessed. Sunstreaker nods, though he still doesn't understand who Bee can easily move on after leaving Cybertron, it was their home after all. 

Bumblebee simply said that Cyberton didn’t feel like home, but prison.

And then the shit gets real!

Optimus decided to take another chance to negotiate peace with Megatron. They gathered near Nemesis, both Autobots and Decepticons just chilling (some interacting, like cassettes hanging out with Bee-Blade-Sari trio) while their leaders were negotiating. 

At first there heated arguments between the two leaders, Megatron acting like Optimus is the one being unreasonable and trying to blame him, while Optimus being like “listen you started this shit, you have no one to blame but yourself” (more politely of course). Soon, they both calmed down and actually made progress, as Megatron noticed that a lot of Decepticons are being distracted by various Earthian things because it’s all new in a million years.

Before they could proclaim anything, Shockwave appeared. Bee tenses instantly, this can't be good. I haven't decided if Shockwave would monologue or not, but the end is the same - he shoots Bumblebee in the chest.

Before anyone can react, Shockwave snatches the minibot and lifts him to his level, taking a closer look at the wound. The shoot wasn't direct, but tangential - it made a hole in the chest and partly chipped away the protective shell, leaving Bee’s spark partly exposed.

The energy is pulsing through the hole now( while Bee’s pulse gets completely haywire as he tries to free himself), the signature, and the effect is unmistakable - this is the AllSpark.  The amount of shock is impossible to describe, after all, Bee was carrying the AllSpark within himself and no one had an idea. Even Shockwave did not expect THAT!

Megatron is being evil smug again, now the AllSpark within his grasp! Except Shockwave has other plans. Instead, he activates his device, which was built into Nemesis. This spire was designed to fuck over all lifeforms on this planet ( including cybertronians), and with AllSpark his plan to cause massive chaos gets perfect as the AllSpark not only creates but also destroys. 

As he was about to rip the AllSpark out of Bee’s body, this system got overwhelmed, but instead of rebooting, his body discharged the energy, creating a big wave that threw everyone away.

Bumblebee meanwhile is screaming in pain ( the AllSpark is slowly breaking him apart) and a surge of painful memories ( the wave broke the seal). Not to mention he’s surrounded and pretty sure he might die, if he wants to get through this - he must become stronger to protect himself.

That thought activates the interface, the Vector Sigma interface. It already had something set up there. Bee can’t really see what it is, something about protective armor(?), he confirms it, the interface turned into a small cell that absorbed a portion of AllSpark energy. Then, as if he knows what to do, he slams the cell into the ground.

For a moment nothing happened, then suddenly a huge amount of plant-like-black vine material burst from the ground. Everyone instantly got into their sense after that blast, now witnessing those vines connecting to Bee’s chest and the AllSpark, lifting him off the ground and begin forming something BIG.

Decepticons are trying to shoot those vines, but hey, they re heat resistant quickly grow back :) Autobots are trying to contact the scout, but his comm is dead, Windblade cannot get into him minds as it’s filled with so many negative emotions like rage, grief, desperation, depression. Said emotions also floored Soundwave, making him unable to move.

Soon Bumblebee ( or more like the huge shell that was growing around him) formed into a big, dragon-like creature, who leats out of deafening roar at AllSpark energy shoots everywhere. An he’s so angry that everyone around him can feel it in their sparks.

This is how he looks, he’s strong enough to throw big cybertronians around like chew toys. Bumblebee’s body is cocooned in the chest area, the light from the AllSpark shines through crevasses.

Despite being angry, he doesn’t attack first and Optimus could have reasoned with him, but Megatron decided it was a good idea to attack the bigger monster and this is when the shit gets loose. 

Bumblebee trashes around, causing chaos around him, sometimes targeting someone and going after them for a few moments. All this is followed by energy discharges, so he successfully beats the shit out of everyone.

Shockwave is the only one who is pleased with surprise results, as he tried to collect data.

Soon Windblade manages to get a hold of her best friend’s mind and he tries to calm Bee down. He slows down a bit, which opens an opportunity for Sari to get inside thought crevasses and try to locate him.

She follows the opposite direction from energy flow, and soon she finds him. His face is a mix of anger and fear, Sari starts talking, trying to draw his attention to her. Soon enough he notices her ( the beast stops moving).

Bee tells her that he’s scared and he’s in pain. His body cracks more because even this large shall not contain all the power of the AllSpark. She hugs his head, telling that they will figure this out, but first hee need to stop thrashing around, he’s hurting everyone. 

Meanwhile, Windblade does the same, using telepathy to talk to him. It worked and they always convinced him to just fly towards the Ark, but Shockwave wasn’t having that, and started shooting at Bumblebee, trying to provoke him. Bee is sort of back to his senses, seeing Shockwave again, angers him to the point that this anger throws Windblade out of his mind. Sari is alright, but the expressions on Bee’s face terrified her. 

Bees run and pines Shockwave to the ground. Suddenly he speaks ( his voice sounds very distorted when it comes from the beast) telling him in space that Shockwave is the one who destroyed Cybertron and left them homeless. the mad scientist chuckles, commenting that this means his “pet project” had worked and he regrets nothing.  

Bumblebee executes Shockwave without mercy.

After Bumblebee flies up heads towards the Ark, Windblade flies after him, while Optimus uses this moment to gather Autobots and get the hell out of there. Sari tells him over comms that Bee is breaking, so he asks Ratchet to drive ahead and help Bumblebee.

Bee meanwhile is almost there, but his body cannot take this anymore. The chest opens up and Bumblebee with Sari falls out of the monster( then the husk falls down and lands right by the entrance of Ark). They both fall for a few seconds before the AllSpark shatters into small pieces and they fly in different directions. Windblade caught them both, both saw what happened and got really scared that Bee might be dead. 

There is small light coming from his exposed spark chamber, so Blade rushes to the medical bay, while frantically explaining to Ratchet ( who is on the way) what just happened. He instructs them to stabilize Bumblebee, enforcing he gets in and takes over.

Ratchet barely managed to save Bee’s life. After that, it took a lot of time to put the minibot together ( between all other urgent repairs of other Autobots that got fucked up by Bee’s outrage). Now, when the danger has passed, Ratchet can get a better look at scout’s sparks chamber that was hidden under the shell. Said shell was crumbled, he had to remove it. Then tells others what he’s discovered: 

First, his spark still hosts a few AllSpark shards. He tried to remove it but it turned out that Bee’s spark IS merged with the AllSpark. His system even pings errors about missing components. This is ironic because it made sense that the AllSpark was causing erratic sparkpulses, but yet they cant separated it from him;

Second, he discovered that Bee also has Vector Sigma installed in his spark chamber, this is exactly those missing components from the broken device;

Third, now there is a plant ( it looks exactly like that vine from earlier) parasite residing in Bee’s body, it appears to be feeding on AllSpark energy. Ratchet tried to remove it, it slapped him on the face. It resists and refuses to come off.

It raises so many questions, of how and why Bee got both AllSpark AND Vector Sigma. There was a suggestion that Bee could steal, or maybe all of this was some sick experiment that Shockwave did, though now they won’t know with the mad scientist dead. Windblade feels that she was involved in this, but still has no idea how.

She still cannot stop thinking about what she saw in Bee’s mindspace during the rampage. He was overwhelmed by grief, sadness, pain, guilt and all of this he merged into anger. And that he carried this angger for a really long time, longer that any of them can imagine. Ratchet is sure that Bee cannot be older, but who knows. Perhaps Bumblebee had a different body in the past that was destroyed.

After a week Bee wakes up. Of course, he’s being hugged by Blade and Sari, everyone sighed with relief. Optimus asks if Bee remembers anything from the meeting. The scout thinks for a moment. He remembers being shot, he remembers paint and panic and anger, he definitely remembers killing Shockwave. He doesn’t know who to feel about it.

He also informed him about a plant parasite. Bee is surprised, but he feels fine for far.

He’s upset when he learns that he beat everyone up and proceeds to apologize before every Autobot that was involved in this. He also sees his discarded husk outside of the Ark, which is examined by Wheeljack and Perceptor (  and wondering if human culture influenced Bee to make this creature look like one of the monsters from his video games).

He doesn’t have any recollection of making it, though this form seems familiar...probably he saw that dragon in a video game...probably.

Bee walks around the island to clear his head, being joined by Sari and Windblade. He admits that he is partly scared that he killed Shockwave like this...but on hand, he’s relieved that this guy is gone and Earth is safe for now. 

The scout also tells them that he remembered something during that fight that he could remember before. He tried again, but now it feels like his memories are scattered - they are there, but out of reach. 

To see what’s going on, Windblade uses her abilities to get into Bee’s mind. She sees that the Vector Sigma seal is gone ( tho her own is still active), but now all those memories that were locked are either missing or corrupted. Even those that weren’t locked are broken. She hypothesized that the AllSpark shattering damaged his data banks, taking the portion of memories with shards. 

That is just another reason why they must collect the shards.

Good thing that Bee can sense the shards, most of them landed in the city, but some landed outside, even near Nemesis which isn’t good. Later they come back and inform Prime about this and the high command starts formulating the plans of retrieving shards.

Meanwhile Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Sari brainstorm ideas of how to prevent the AllSpark from harming Bumblebee. The plant is absorbing the portion of energy, but it’s clear he still needs a shell. Sari tells them that Sumdac Systems will provide resources for the project.

Collecting the shards.

In general, the collecting of shards will go smoothly for most of the time, since most shards landed in the city. Some they found just laying in the bushes or roofs, some were handled by humans, some were even sent by mail. As new shards rejoin Bumblebee, Windblade helps him to restore his recent memories, while they still need to complete AllSpark to get access to previously locked memories.

Ratchet also keeps in check Bee’s health as new shards are added, and gradually builds a shell around the spark chamber, minding the plant.

So, few thing that happened during this time frame in no particular order:

Starscream got his hands onto one of the shards and caused chaos to both Decepticons and Autobots, he can even use it to get through the force field around the city;

Bumblebee created Grimlock, using an awesome t-rex animatronic as a base;

Thundercracker leaving Decepticons, thought he didn't go to Autobots either. He talks with Windbladem admitting that it was terrifying to see someone like Bumblebee so hurt ( he’s referring to that dragon accident) because of the war;

Discovering that the plant, living inside Bee is actually a symbiont - it protects its host when Bee is in danger, even helping him to lift a weight that Bee couldn't before ( though his body hurts a lot after this). Sari names it Clover ( in fact she did it with all Bee’s plants);

When the last shard is gathered, Ratchet doesnt final touches to the shell. He doesn't completely seal it away, letting it’s potions flow through Bumblebee’s body. This should reduce chances of forced reboot, thought they still might happen.

After this, Bumblebee secludes himself in his room, wanting to sort through all his memories, as those old one now finally accessible. After a few days he asks Windblade to come, He removes her Vector Sigma seal, and they talk through all those events. 

Soon Bumblebee requests Autobots together ( who can come, if someone can't, then they will be sent the recorded version of this) in front of Ark ( where the husk is) because there is something that everyone must know. He also asks Soundwave to send Laserbeak to the meeting, so she can record this conversation and present it to other Decepticons, Megatron included. Soundwave obliges, sending Bee his regards.

The truth behind the AllSpark.

Now with all his memories intact, Bumblebee reveals that he’s not the guardian or an weird experiment involving the AllSpark, but he IS the AllSpark.

That one thing was enough to shock everyone( accepts Windblade). At first they thought that technically yes, bc Bee’s spark fused the AllSpark, but Bee elaborates that he was created by Primus billions years ago. Windblade confirmed it, as she knows the truth already. 

To clear the confusion, Bumblebee starts from the beginning. 

Primus was wandering around the Universe. Like any giant with planet alt-form, he had one desire - to create and host a life. While he could easily transform, create a new life, and then fall into eternal slumber, Primus wanted to leave someone in charge. Thus he created the AllSpark - a powerful transformer who can create, destroy and maintain life on the planet. 

This person is Bumblebee, with a dragon-like altform, that looked almost exactly like that husk that now is resting in front of Ark.

Before Bee proceeded to his duties, he and Primus traveled around the Universe. Primus was teaching Bumblebee about life, about conditions required for life to exist, about material and what kind of life he can make. They visited planets, filled with various life forms: organic, silicone, energoinds and even other mechanical lifeforms.

Bee was observing living beings, learning about how they build, how they function, how they interact.

When the training was finished and Bee was ready, they traveled to a lone orange dwarf star(class K). Primus transformed and placed himself onto orbit. After this Bumblebee created the first cybertronian life. 

In thousands of years he filled the planets with divine ecosystems, with various biomes and huge species diversities and even first sentient beings. For most of the time he left anything for natural selection, while keeping a close eye on it in case something appears that will threaten life on the planet. In this case, by his protocols, he must kill that being in order to preserve balance.

He admits, while he loved his job and enjoyed creating, he was lonely. Primus advised against forming a relationship with his creations because he thought that Bumblebee’s powers could be misused in this case, for example getting involved in conflict where he could be persuaded to insta-kill someone. 

So he stayed out, but it hurt and he longed for companionship more than anything, which led to frustration and even anger at his creator for leaving alone for eternity.

Still, Bumblebee endured this and continued his work.

Peace lasted for a long time  ( if you don't think of the wars that were waged between clans from time to time), until Quintessons began their invasion on Cybertron. At first they couldn't set their tentacles there as Bee was such a fierce protector, but much later they figured out to send drones to fight instead. That posed a problem for Bumblebee because yes, he can easily kill a living being, but cannot kill what isn't alive in the first place. 

Bumblebee held endless hordes of drones for a long time, but eventually he was overwhelmed by numbers ( he was fighting alone, as cybertronians back there were no match to Quinesson’s forces) and killed.

Cybertron fell to Quintessons and everyone was enslaved.

Then Quintessons salvaged his spark( The AllSpark) and few more components to use the power of creation to create even more slaves. At first they couldn't use AllSpark, because it has quantuum properties. It creates endless possibilities, but none of their devices has enough strong sensors to set those possibilities, making them real.

Lucky for them, the components they got from Bumblebee’s dead body were connected to the AllSpark, with them Quintessons created Vector Sigma, a device that allows manipulation of the AllSpark.

They kept creating slayes, while completely ignoring anything else and soon all those diverse ecosystems that Bee made collapsed. The rain turned into acid, rust was crawling everywhere as Quintessons kept draining resources of the planet, while they tried to erase everything about Primus and AllSpark from cybetronian’s culture. While cybertronians still remembered Primus, the AllSpark was forgotten.

Hearing this was disturbing, considering the fact that after cybertronians liberated themselves from Quinesson’s tyranny - they kept using Vector Sigma for forging new bots.

Bumblebee wasn't too angry about this, they simply didn't know. Then he gets asked if he was killed, how Bumblebee is still here?

Short answer is they only destroyed his body. To explain this, Bumblebee reminds everyone how sparks work. Sparks are the lifeforce of every living being, but for sentient beings it also serves like a second brain/processor to process the emotion response.

But in Bumblebee’s case it’s the other way around: his spark is the main processor, while the head processor is for emotional response and processing the info from sensors. Primus made him like this in case Bumblebee's gonna get killed at some point so he could rebuild himself.  

Sadly, because they quickly salvaged him, removing both his spark and components that we connected to it and separating them - that made rebuilding impossible. 

And because of his spark’s quantuum nature, Bumblebee’s consciousness was locked in a quantum state, making him both existing and not existing at the same time.

He could only watch what’s happening. He was grieving over his work being destroyed, his creations being enslaved and potentially being forever stuck in quantuum sea, not able to interact with the real world again. 

The time went by, and eventually, cybertronians livetred themself from Quintessons and it marked the beginning of the Golden Age. Bumblebee was lingering, watching this happen. He was a bit happier after this, despite the fact that society was locked in functionalism( when both's place in society is defined by their alt form. Like a jet could only serve in the army) - a leftover from Quintesson tyraty. Still, it was better than Quintessons!

Bumblebee continues lingering, sometimes he floats in the form of a random bot and asks if they can see him. Usually it never works, but one day, one bot was able to hear him. Bee was ecstatic about this, finally he could talk to someone ( even though his talking was mere whisper as he forgot how his own voice used to sound). He introduced himself as Bumblebee ( it was one of many names that was given to him by his creations during ancient times that he liked a lot).

Bee thought maybe he could tell someone the truth about AllSpark origin and maybe that would help him to get back to the real world, but sadly none of his attempts were successful. Some don't believe him, some did but were punished by strict government. Additionally as Bee realised that only those who can psychic abilities can hear him. And those bots are extremely rare.

Still, Bumblebee wasn't losing hope, and kept trying ( though he was being more thoughtful about getting his friend in trouble). 

At some point, another big event happened - a gladiator named Megatron, with his partner, archivist Orion Pax ( who will later be known as Optimus Prime) created a revolution that liberated cybertronians from cages of functionalism. Now every cybertronian could be whoever they wanted, that pleased Bumblebee so much.

Not to mention now he has more chances to escape his quantuum prison, especially when a group of archaeologists has found a hidden temple that was dedicated to AllSpark - the only one that wasn't destroyed by Quintessons.

Even Megatron with Optimus came to see these fins. The most noticeable thing was the statue which archaeologists believed was the personification of AllSpark, which was an image of Bumblebee. 

(That made Optimus realise why Bumblebee’s face was so familiar when he first met him. Sure the form is different, but the face remains the same( and same goes to Megatron).)

At the same time a group of scientists noticed some quantum fluctuation comic from the AllSpark and they were going to research this. 

During this timeframe, Bee was really close to being found. He was really close to escaping. 

But as if fate decided to fuck everyone over, things changed from best to worst.

It all started when everyone realised that Cybertron will be completely drained of resources in a few millions years. That caused the frantic search of planets where they could get them. One planet that was relatively close was found. It was rich and solved this problem...but it also hosted life.

Heated arguments began, Megatron believed that they can just go and take it, because they really needed it and they are superior to this primitive form of life on that planet. Optimus on other hand refused to harm those lifeforms, even if they are primitive, that they can look elsewhere.

Bumblebee sided with Optimus, he knew the fact that there is another system near that one, that is rich with resources they need AND also unsuitable for life. He knew it in case if he ever needed those resources he could go and get them back in the day when he was in charge here.

Bee frantically searched for someone who could hear him, so he could pass this information...but he had no luck. Soon the civil war began and it was the beginning of the end.

As war was going on, Bumblebee lost all hope. He saw destruction he hadn't seen since Quintessons invasion and Cybertron’s reasons were thinning. Soon there were no resources to make new bots.

Bumblebee tight there is nothing he can do and was saddened about upcoming doom. 

Until and stumbled upon Windblade.

She was able to hear him. So they talked a lot and became close. Bee told her everything about himself, and when Blade was going to tell Optimus about Bee, he stopped her. Bumblebee was scared he's gonna be punished somehow ( it happened before in the past) but instead he has a plan, but he needs her help. She agrees, and waits until Bee is done with preparation.

Soon Bumblebee tells her about it, even a bit more urgently because he just saw Shockwave unleashing something that will kill everything and they need to get off the planet.

But first, Bumblebee needs a body. Now, when the Chamber of Creation isn't occupied anymore, Windblade sneaked inside ( Bee was carefully guiding her) the Spire, then got into the Chamber. 

He instructed her to activate Vector Sigma, then managed to upload a blueprint to her data banks that she was able to upload to Vector Sigma. 

Then he told her to set specific parameters, allowing the systems that were used for assembling bodies to scrap for resources. It was barely enough, still it gathered resources for a small body, compromising something like strength and armor. 

Then he told her to cut open Vector Sigma and get important components - the very same components that belonged to him long ago and install them to the body's spark chamber.

The last step was taking the AllSpark, placing it in a spark chamber and sealing it in a protective shell that will suppress the AllSpark frequency.

When Windblade did all this, she waited. It was silent for a few minutes and she was anxious that the plant might not get worse...before the body powered up and for the first time in seemingly forever, Bumblebee opened his optics.

This was probably the happiest day of his life since he lost his body. He hugged Windblade, thanking her for getting him out. After adjusting and remembering how to walk to transformers, they left the Spire.

But now they had to figure out what to do. When Megatron finds out that AllSpark is gone, hell will break loose and they cannot have the AllSpark being taken again. 

Bee cannot really protect himself. His body is fragile and will fall apart if he to unshesh his powers. And Decepticons like Soundwave can dig into one's mind to find out their secret. So it leads to a drastic solution - to seal any memories of him away. Blade doesn't want this, but understands it’s their only shotm so she agrees.

First they position themself near Autobot base.

Then Bumblebee activates his Vector Sigma interface, programming the seal in a specific way, so while memories are locked away, some feelings will linger. This will allow Bumblebee and Windblade to become friends again, and will also carry on the missing to make cybertronians leave the planet.

First he places the seal into Windblade’s data banks, which will activate in a few minutes and reboot her system. So it gives her time to arrive to base and be safe when memories are going to be locked away. She hugs him again before he leaves sayin “see you on the other side”.

Then he gets close to the road where Jazz soon appears, then he seales all his memories completely. The reboot happens and he falls on the ground, where next moment he’s being found by Jazz. 

The rest of the story everyone knows.

Bumblebee gives free minutes for everyone to process the whole thing. It explained a lot of things: his reboots, his ability to sense sparks, that husk’s creation,  pretty much everything.

So he’s being bombarded with questions, one of them was about what Shockwave did. Interestingly enough Bee never told Blade what exactly the mad scientist did. Bee tried to answer, but turned out he just cannot say this out of loud, that’s how terrible it was. Seeing the pained expression on Bumblebee’s face, everyone quickly moved on to different questions. 

Another question was about Primus, because Bee made it sound like Primus was just one of many beings like him. Bumblebee reveals that in fact, Earth is also giant like Primus, and unlike his creator, she can communicate with Bee during the recharge. 

So she’s asleep, but can talk to Bee when he’s asleep too. In fact he made a lot of attempts to connect, but because the AllSpark was sealed under shell, Bee could not hear her clearly. Until now.

She was asking if he can resurrect her two companions, who turned out to be Venus and Mars -  two other giants that came to this system with her. Something went wrong when both transformed to planets that caused their deaths, rendering planets unsuitable to life. 

Sadly, Bumblebee can only create or kill, he cannot bring the dead back. Once spark crosses the dimension and appears in the Well of All Sparks, it gets cleaned. It's a point of no return and the only direction for spark to go is forward -  to it's new life.

After the meeting is over, Bee turns to Laserbeak, making sure that all this information was received by Soundwave, which she confirms. Now they can only hope for better, that this is gonna be enough to stop Megaton from his fruitless conquest.

Then he goes on another walk around the forest, thinking about his past, present and future. Despite everything, he’s glad he lived to this point. He has what he always wanted( aka companionship) and now there is a chance for everyone to thrive once again, along with humans.

The final stretch.

Of course, nothing can be that easy. 

Soon after the big reveal, the entire Soundwave cassette horde( aka even those who were in stasis since the beginning of the war) arrives at the Ark’s entrance. They look terrified and begging for help. When asked what happened, Ravage told Bee that Megatron didn't take the news well when Soundwave presented that entire conversation to Decepticons.

Soundwave tried to reason with his leader, but Megatron got mad and hurt Soundwave, then he was going to hurt the cassettes as punishment, which resulted in fight and Soundwave ejecting every single one and telling them to run.

So they ran and came here, begging to save Soundwave.

This makes Bumblebee energon boil in his tubes, he’s almost jumped into his husk body to just run and tear Megatron apart, but he managed to calm himself. Optimus decided to go and deal with Megatron himself, and Bee tags along. 

When they meet again with Megatron near Nemesis again, first Optimus demands to release Soundwave. Somehow they convince him to do so, and Autobots take him to Ark for repair and reunite him with cassettes.

Meanwhile Megatron demands Bumblebee to fix Cynertron, which turns into a heated argument, because there is literally nothing to fix. Bee cannot just magically undo all the damage. 

In the end Bumblebee snaps, and just decides to do what he really, really didn't want to do -  he wants to open the space bridge and show Megatron what is happening on Cybertron. If this won't help, he doesn't know what can. 

Bumblebee warns that they might not get out alive, but Megatron agrees anyway, believing that minibot still can fix their home planet. Optimus Prime also joins, refusing to leave Bumblebee alone with Megatron.

They arrive at the Chamber of Creation and look outside ( as they are on top floor). The Spire is the only building that is still sanding, meanwhile anything else lay in ruins. Megatron is confused, he doesn't remember leaving Cynertron in such a terrible state.

Bumblebee asks them if they can see those drones. They cannot, asking what drones. He sighs, understanding they have to go to ground level and that's actually scary.  Still, he activated the elevator and they went down.

At entrance they stop and now they see - countless tiny drones consuming metal, then multiplying. And their hunger knows no bounds. 

Bumblebee reveals that those “Scraplets” were created by Shockwave in order to cause chaos among Autobots. But they didn't work as he intended he just threw them away. They landed near Cyberton’s core, which activated them...and they began to consume everything in sight. When Scaplets got to Cybertron lavras ( it’s like the immune system of the planet) and Bee felt their deaths, he knew the time was up and they needed to run.

Now it made sense why Bumblebee killed this mad scientist in the first place.

Megatron asks if Bumblebee can kill them, but Bee says he can only kill living beings,while those things are just sparkless drones and they will devour him quickly.

After a minute, Megatron sighs in defeat, telling Bumblebee he can take them back to Earth.

He nods and about to open a portal...then suddenly his spark is acting up again, sending a huge power surge around him. Once again he is forced into rebooting before he can open a portal.

This caught the attention of scraplets and they charged at bost. Optimus grabs Bee, and both he and Megatron start running. First they tried to make it to the elevator, but it was already being chewed.

So they were forced to take stairs. So Optimus carrying Bee, and dragging Megatron with him, Megatron is shooting from his fusion cannot, breaking shit to slow down scraplets. 

When they reach the top floor, they have nowhere to run. Megatrons asks how soon Bee will be back online, which according to Optimus’s chronometers is 3 more minutes. Megatron feels that they don't have it and suddenly the entire building is rumbling.

Because it’s being eaten, it starts falling, while scraplets are seeping inside the chamber. Two bots look at each other, and do the leap of faith ( while holding onto each other and Bumblebee of course). Just before they hit infested ground, Bee suddenly wakes up and he opens a portal. All three fall into it and are transported back to Earth.

Panicked they look around for scraplets that could be transported with them, but thankfully there was none. They are safe.

Optimus is surprised that Bee woke up earlier, and the minibot himself is surprised as well. Though he quickly realised it’s because of his plants symbiont + new shell combinations - his system still gets overwhelmed, but not as drastically as before, allowing his system to recover quicker.

After this, Megatron allows Autobots to leave in peace, while he still needs to process everything he saw.

Later ( with Optimus help) he declares that war is over and that Earth is their new home, which was surprisingly received well by other Decepticons ( he told them what he saw).

Finally Bumblebee can sigh in relief, finally they can have a bright future ahead of them and  he’s looking forward to it.

Trivia( aka random stuff I didn't know where to fit).

Cybertronians can breathe and it’s part of their air cooling system, as such a process allows them to quickly inhale cooler air and exhale hot air. When calm they don't actually breathe, but as soon they are scared/excited/in a fight - they start doing this;

They can also cry, and it’s also part of the cooling system. Processors and spark chambers tend to be heated more than anything and require cooling by liquid nitrogen. When strong emotional responses happen, heating goes off the charts, and because optics are so close to the head processor - there is a risk of melting them. So the liquid nitrogen gets pumped to optics as well, and because this liquid has a low boiling point - those tears take a form of gas, seeping through the space between optic and face. Older bots don't cry much because they kinda get used to horrors of the war, while younger like Bee are actually more emotional and showing it often. Even after restoring his memories fully, he’s still emotion as hell;

Bumblebee is sleepwalking sometimes, and if he sees another person he starts whispering “Can you see me?” over and over until he gets the “right” reasons which is “Yes, I can see you, Bumblebee”. After this he falls back to recharge. That scared a lot of Autobots first, they discovered the right answer when Optimus replied, thanks to his tendency to give full and polite answers. This happens because of trauma when Bee lost his body and became “non-existent” to anyone;

He used to terrify Decepticons when he infiltrated their bases  to the point they thought that Bee was some sort of Autobot vengeful spirit that came to hunt them. Bumblebee used his abilities to avoid his enemies, while toying with them, like lingering at the corners of their optics before disappearing and even whispering”Can you see me?” right into their audio sensors.);

When Decepticosn arrived on Earth, Bumblebee was an anxious mess, he was afraid that Earth might die just like Cybertron did. To give himself hope and a way of coping, he remembered the legend that if you fold 1000 origami cranes, your wish will come true. He made the first crane soon after Decepticon’s arrival, and the last right before he received his last AllSpark shard. Now those cranes are everywhere on the Ark;

Spike visits Detroit at some point, but I haven't decided when. Probably when the AllSpark shattered, so he helped to restore it too;

Bumblebee has two strong phobias: 

Athazagoraphobia. The fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned; 

Monophobia. The fear of being alone for a long time;

In future, humans figured out the way to transport their mind into their spark and then transport that spark into techno-organic bodies which ultimately extends their lifespan.

Sari was one of first humans doing this, not wanting to leave Bumblebee and Windblade;

Spike, on the other hand, decided to die of old age because he felt like he did everything he wanted and his journey reached his end. Bee was really upset about this, but let Spike go. Spike spent his last moments with Bee.

Also in the future, Bumblebee’s body gets an upgrade, restoring his original form alt-form (6 legged dragon), though it’s smaller than before, Bee used to be small and finally comfortable with this. He will also be in charge of creating new cybertronians and terraforming new planets;

This is how Bumblebee used to look like;

Here’s the statue that was discovered, that Optimus and Megatron saw before.

[adiwriting]

Some random thoughts I have on romance and the romantic tropes I was raised on that I believe truly set me up to be in the middle of some emotionally abusive and toxic relationships.

Brought to you by an annoyance at seeing these same "romantic" tropes of my youth appearing time and time again in my media and my fandoms:

Things that are not nearly as romantic as they seem:

"Saving yourself"

Not that you have to have more than one sexual partner in your life (or any- what up ace friends), you don't. But you are not tainted if you have slept with somebody else prior to your current partner and they shouldn't ever make you feel like you are no matter how many sexual partners you have had. Anyone that requires you are a virgin in order to be with them is not somebody you need in your life.

"It's for your own good" breakups.

They may sound like the end all being all of love, somebody martyring themselves for you because they just love you so much they can't stand by and watch you stay with them as they (insert tragic situation here). But trust me, you won't find it so romantic when your agency is stripped away and you're standing there with a shattered heart over someone that "loves" you. Hearing it's "for the best" doesn't make you feel any better. You are entitled to make your own decisions about your own life.

"I'm not good for you"

If somebody is telling you this repeatedly, there are only a handful of things they are looking to accomplish. Either they:

Lack self confidence, which, in limited quantities is okay, but over time will become draining on your emotional wellbeing if it's not a give and take. Your partner can have insecurities, we all have them, but it's more than fair for you to want a partner who is at least confident in your love.

Are fishing for your regular reassurance that yes, indeed, you DO love them (which over time becomes a form of emotional manipulation to get you to feel guilty and center their needs over your own whether they are aware of it or not).

Are trying to get you to leave them for your own good, which goes back to lack of agency which I discussed above.

To summarize, you shouldn't have to be regularly pouring from your pitcher to hold up your partner emotionally. Your partner's emotional health should not be entirely on your shoulders and if it is, that's not healthy for either of you.

Jealousy

There is a difference between missing something you used to have and having regrets about said loss, and jealousy. There is a difference between wanting monogamy with your partner (if that's a negotiated expectation between you both) and not being able to handle your partner talking to another person. Somebody being jealous and "resource guarding" you like you're the favorite toy and they are some untrained territorial dog isn't a sign of how much they must love you. It's a sign of how much they want to control you.

And if the jealous is coming from somebody that is not your current partner (ex partner or potential future partner), this is a big red flag. You do not belong to them and are able to be with other people. Likewise, the same is true for the object of your current fixation. Nobody owns anyone.

Needing things to be "even" or "fair"

Needing things to be 100% even, fair, or equal (whatever you want to call it) means you expect that for every kiss you give, they must give you a kiss back. For every gift you give, they should give a gift back. For every I love you, there's an I love you returned. This doesn't sound too awful... though it presents a transactional view of love that I believe sets you up to have less flexibility in a relationship to meet both partners needs. It prevents you from being able to give just for the sake of giving. And potentially opens you both up to questioning motives (did they only do X so that I would do X back?)

But imagine the much darker side of this mentality. I dance with somebody else at our friends' wedding and now you're going to go dance with somebody else to "get even." We were broken up for a period of 6 months while we both worked on our mental health. During that time you slept with somebody else, so I'd better go do that too before we get back together so things are "fair." You had a panic attack last night and I held you while you cried and cooked your favorite meal, when I get home tonight I expect dinner to be ready and waiting. I gave you oral sex, now you're expected to do the same even though it makes you uncomfortable. After all: Fair is fair. Right???

There is a difference in wanting relationships to be two-sided in which both partners give to each other in a balanced way and requiring 100% equality.

Not being able to live without someone - aka - the all consuming love

Being told that somebody can't live without you sounds romantic in fics. I know, I'm sure I wrote them in the past. I certainly read them. In reality, it is a huge emotional burden to carry, even if you love that person back with your whole heart. You should not ever be somebody's whole reason for living. It's not a weight you should have to carry on your shoulders. Your partner should have friends outside of you to hang out with. They should have hobbies. They should have interests that don't involve you. They should not need you to be their entertainment and happiness 24/7.

On the flip side, don't ever allow your partner to be your entire happiness 24/7. Have hobbies. Have other friends. Have other interests. Do things away from your partner. I promise, if your love is really that strong, you'll survive a few hours away from each other and your mental health will be stronger for it.

Ignoring boundaries

I don't care what the romantic gesture is or what their intent is - if you've previously said something is a "no go" then that's that. Nobody should be ignoring boundaries that you've set up or pressuring you to change those boundaries. It is especially worse when said partner ignores your boundaries "for your own good" because they assume they know better than you. And look, there we are back to the whole agency issue. Are we noticing a theme here?

Things that are completely, 100% human and normal about love:

Falling in love more than once in your life

People come into your life and out of your life. Some stay forever. Some only last a short time. All of them, good and bad, teach us something to bring into the next relationship.

There's no limit on how many people you are allowed to love in your lifetime. Nobody should make you feel badly for having multiple relationships and doing what you need to do to figure out who you are in a relationship and how you want to give and receive love. There's nothing wrong with learning and growing.

And if, in the end, you come back to an old flame after leaving them, that's okay too, so long as you are coming back for love and not fear or habit.

Competing needs

You might love your partner with your entire heart. Your partner might even be your forever love. But there will likely come a time in which you and your partner run into competing needs. What does this look like? It looks like my partner coming home from work after a stressful day and needing to be alone because they're worked up and every little thing is raking at their temper. Meanwhile I just got home from work after a tough day and need hugs and reassurances that I'm doing a good job and am not an awful person. It looks like the both of us experiencing a trauma together and I react to it with a need to compartmentalize, ignore, and focus on manageable tasks, while my partner reacts to it with a need to talk about what happened and decompress. It looks like my partner needing something that I can't provide at the moment because I need the opposite.

Sometimes competing needs can be worked through with healthy communication and a lot of work. Sometimes they can't and the best thing for both of you is to end the relationship and find somebody who can meet your needs, and that's okay too.

Leaving a relationship that isn't working

If you are in a relationship that isn't working, you can leave. That's right. You can just leave. You don't owe anyone anything no matter how long you have been together or what they are going through. Your mental health is more important than staying with somebody who is making you miserable.

Trust that there is new love out there. Trust that people fall in love more than once. Trust that something better is on the horizon. And hey, even if you don't find somebody new... Nothing is worth staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Plenty of people find happiness in being single too.

*****

Now, this is in no way an extensive list, just a list of things I could think of that, had I been told more consistently in my youth and in the media I consumed rather than had these toxic ideas romanticized, I think would have saved me a whole lot of emotional trauma.

Feel free to add onto this list.

[kendrixtermina]

I think the fundamental problem with callout/cancel culture and all other outgrowths of puritanism is that idea that human beings start out innocent & pure and then by doing/saying certain things become part of certain “tainted” categories. 

We’re all born as ignorant, uncivilized apes and only education, parenting and learned wisdom make us become otherwise. 

This isn’t to say that we’re born evil, pro-social instincts exist, but they’re imperfect irrational things just as much as our “selfish” instincts - rather we are above all programmable & have a large number of programs & possibilities in us. That’s also why essentiallism can’t ever reflect the truth either, because there’s evidence that our self-concepts are actually so flexible. We start out neutral, formable,  unknowing. 

Being innocent (as in, having no culpability/blame of anything) & being ignorant (not knowing what might cause others harm) are not only compatible, they are the conditon with which how all of us start out. 

Morals aren’t some objectively obvious thing that you either deny or reject (that actually sounds a lot like the christian idea of morality...) they are something we made so that we would all have better lives. That’s not the same as saying it’s all a matter of opinion - they are based in some objective observations (”X typically causes the human animal suffering”)

So fundamentally, you don’t “stay” good or “preserve” your goodness, you become good by learning & experience.  Any practicable idea of morality would need to acknowledge that.

This is why the “You did X now you are forever [category]” idea of morality just doesn’t reflect reality. 

Think of all the cringy, shitty crap you did/ said as a child. Just mean or ignorant stuff that you unknowingly repeated when repetition was all you were capable of. You don’t even awaken t full sentience till you’re 10- 14 and at that point the first thing all of us do is freak out, act out & have an existential crisis, because o the immense magnitude of what it is to exist. 

It makes much more sense to focus on harm avoidance. Someone who is actively doing harm must be opposed. If they stop doing harm, they’re no longer the problem. 

Maybe the problem here is a lack of idea of “neutrality”. We don’t start out good or bad, but neutral. When someone repents they don’t suddenly become good & have to be treated like they’re good with forgiveness or whatever; They’re neutral. You owe them nothing, but you can ignore them now & focus on those still doing harm. 

What we want is for bad behavior to stop so the harm stops. It doesn’t matter why or how it stops. Wether the person repents or dies of old age or is prevented from doing further crimes or just thinks the bad behavior isn’t worth it anymore because the system was changed to make it harder. 

What matters is that we stop the terrible harm that is done to so many people all over the world in so many ways. 

[fortune-fool02]

dio rejects humanity and becomes fish

"Dio, no!" Jonathan cried, reaching out in vain at his adoptive brother.

Dio cackled wickedly, as he clutched the Coral Mask in one hand, its spikes extending menacingly as it was exposed to a vial of ocean water that Dio had swiped from Jonathan's study room. At his feet, George, Jonathan's father, lay unconscious, having been wounded by Dio to gain the final ingredient-- a smear of human blood.

"I reject my humanity, JoJo!" he shrieked with a sinister grin. "I become MERMAID!"

At once, spiked tentacle-like tendrils emerged from the mask and clamped onto Dio's face. A bright, shining glow began to envelop him as a swirling mist formed a whirlwind of chaos within the mansion's lobby.

"Jonathan, get down!" Speedwagon cried, tackling Jonathan to the floor. Behind them, a frightful transformation began to take place, as Dio began to morph, his clothes all tearing off to reveal his bare, transfiguring body. Golden scales began forming onto his skin, his ears lengthened into pointed fins. His teeth sharpened like those of a shark's and four pairs of gills opened up on each side of his neck. Last to morph were his legs, fusing together into a long, scaly tail tipped with a fan-shaped fin, and now unable to stand, Dio fell to the floor with a thud as the light faded away.

Both Jonathan and Speedwagon gingerly looked up in horror at what Dio had become, as the mask dropped from his face and tumbled to the floor with a hollow clank.

Dio, lying prone on the floor, slowly stirred and pushed himself up to a sitting position. "At last...at LAST!" he laughed maniacally, testing out the flexibility of his new tail. "At last I can feel the POWER OF THE OCEAN coursing through me!"

"W-what have you done?!" Jonathan cried in disbelief. 

"The power of the ocean has transcended my mortal limits!" Dio snarled, though Jonathan noticed he was beginning to wheeze and gasp. "I have...ascended...from a mere...human....to an unstoppable...force of...the sea!"

"But Dio," Jonathan reasoned, "you're....you're not in the sea."

Dio, now panting heavily, seemed to be suddenly struck with a realization, as his eyes widened with terrified regret.

"W-water..." he moaned, clutching his neck in a panic before collapsing onto the ground, his gills flapping vainly for the water that wasn't there.

"Dio? Dio, no!" Jonathan cried, running to his side.

"Leave him be, Jonathan!" snapped Speedwagon. "Let the bastard fish dry out and die, he deserved it!"

Jonathan glared back sternly at his companion. "He may have been cruel and wicked, and now a mythical sea creature, but he's still like a brother to me!" He grabbed the faintly struggling, gasping Dio by his tail, feeling the drying flakiness of his dehydrated scales, and began to drag him toward the back door.

"Speedwagon!" Jonathan groaned. "Take care of my dad for me and make sure he's okay! I have to get Dio into the water!"

Speedwagon nodded thoughtfully as he rushed to George's side. The old man was unconscious but alive, with the stab wound in his flank, inflicted by Dio, still bleeding profusely. "What are you all standing around for?" he yelled at the authorities who entered the room. "Get this man a carriage to the hospital right away!" he yelled, applying pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.

Meanwhile Jonathan, dragging the now convulsively-gasping Dio by his tail, was slowly but surely making his way to the fountain in front of the Joestar mansion: the only source of water close enough for him to reach in time before Dio suffocated to death. With one final, heaving grunt, he lifted up the twitching merman and dropped him into the fountain with a splash.

For a few moments Jonathan watched the dark water with bated breath. Then suddenly, from under the murky water, a pair of glowing orange eyes suddenly glared up at him, before giving out a bubbling sigh of exhausted relief, before closing back down again.

---------------

"How's Dad doing?" Jonathan asked Speedwagon, as he arrived to the Joestar mansion in a carriage the following morning.

"He'll have to stay at the hospital for weeks, maybe months," sighed Speedwagon sadly, "but the good news is that he'll live. We're not sure when he'll wake up, but he's stable and in better health."

"That's good to hear," Jonathan replied, thankfully. "I'll try to visit him as soon as I can, but for now...I've got another problem to worry about for the moment."

Speedwagon's face wrinkled in disgust as he became aware of a fishy smell emanating from a bucket that Jonathan carried in one hand.

"Dear heavens, JoJo!" he complained. "What is that dreadful smell?"

"Just some left-over mackerel from our pantry's ice box," Jonathan replied. "I've got to keep him well-fed so he won't...try to EAT anybody."

"Who...?" Speedwagon relied, confused, as his eyes trailed up toward the fountain, where a familiar, blond figure lay in the shallow, running water.

"Here, Dio, I brought you breakfast," Jonathan crooned gently to the merman.

Dio glared hatefully up at him, with brilliant, tangerine eyes, pupils slitted like a cat's. "I am not a pet, JoJo! How dare you treat me like some lowly wretched beast?" he snarled.

"Oh, Dio," Jonathan sighed mournfully. "You did this to yourself. You were arrogant and foolish and it's just brought grief to us all. But no matter how much of a spiteful imbecile you have been...you are no less a brother in my eyes. And I know I'm a better person than to just leave you to die."

He fished out a mackerel from the bucket and uneasily held it out to Dio, who seized it suddenly and without warning, causing both Jonathan and Speedwagon to stumble back in fright.

Gripping his meal in his clawed, webbed hands, Dio messily devoured the fish, tearing into it savagely as his razor-sharp teeth shredded apart fins, bones, scales and all. Speedwagon felt sickened at the sight.

"Disgusting," he groaned. "He was vile before he became a mermaid but he's even worse now!"

"It's a shame, really," Jonathan added with a dry laugh. "Dad always used to praise him for his table manners."

As Dio finished off the last remnants of the fish, Jonathan and Speedwagon got their first good look at Dio's newfound piscine form in the yellow light of early morning. His entire body was covered in small, fine, golden scales, save for his face, throat, belly and chest, which retained the color and texture of Dio's original skin. A large, transluscent dorsal fin emerged from the middle of his back, the same see-through shade of yellow as the smaller fins that emerged from his ears, his elbows and what used to be his hips. His tail, tipped in a bright golden tail fin, was longer than Dio's legs used to be, coiling snakily around the circular fountain with the fluke dangling limply over the edge.

Still retaining his mop of messy blond hair and sharpm handsome facial features, Dio was both terrifying and yet strangely beautiful, Jonathan thought. Just like many of the sea creatures he studied in his marine researches: a gorgeous, elegant exterior concealing the heart and soul of a ruthless, predatory killer, one that was best admired with distance and precaution.

His golden scales glimmered beautifully in the sunlight, but Dio didn't seem to appreciate the glare one bit. He shrank away from the light, shading his eyes from the glare as he wriggled about in the water until he was safely in the fountain's shadow.

"He doesn't seem to like the light," Jonathan noted observantly. "His eyes must have become adapted for the dark depths of the sea, I shall have to get him some shade from the sun if he's to stay here."

"So, what are we going to do with him now?" Speedwagon asked Jonathan concernedly. "Are you going to take him to the ocean and leave him there? The sooner we're rid of him the better!" 

"We may be rid of him if we do just that, but he'll be someone else's problem." Jonathan warned. "He's vicious and powerful and he's sure to use his newfound abilities to hurt others, and it would be our fault for turning him loose."

"You don't suppose we could...dry him up and sell him to the museum?" Speedwagon snarkily suggested.

Jonathan shot Speedwagon a horrified glare. "No, no, we're not going to kill him! He's perfectly harmless if we keep him confined in the fountain. This should keep him out of trouble and I can keep a close eye on him."

Meanwhile, Dio had been listening to the whole discussion: furious that they were contemplating on selling him like some common fish. Angrily, he planted his scaly hands onto the fountain's edge and raised his body up as high as he could. "I CAN HEAR YOU TWO SCHEMING!" he cried out at the two. "How DARE you treat me like this!"

Jonathan shook his head disappointedly and approached the merman, who crouched back into the fountain's shadow hissing like a threatened snake. "Dio, I don't want to do this any more than you. But it's my responsibility to keep others safe from you, and you safe from yourself. You turned yourself into this, Dio, and now I know no way to change you back."

"Damn you, JoJo..." Dio whimpered, his voice beginning to break. "So I'm going to have lo spend the rest of my life, however long that may be, kept prisoner in this stupid fountain like some kind of trained seal at a circus? As your own personal pet mermaid, huh, JoJo?" He splashed his tail in frustration and let out a loud, inhuman, mournful wail, and Jonathan felt a hint of pity, even for someone like him.

"This was your choice, Dio," Jonathan scolded, sternly but comfortingly. "There's nothing more you and I can do about the situation, but have to get used to it."

He offered Dio another mackerel. "Here you go, Dio. Eat up and stop being miserable, we'll try to find out a way to make this work out."

Dio recluctantly reached out to take the fish from Jonathan, before sinking back down into the water, bubbling indignantly about his plight.

Jonathan turned to Speedwagon as Dio ate sulkingly. "Speedwagon? This may be a bit of a favor to ask from you..." he asked awkwardly.

"Sure thing, anything that you request," Speedwagon replied.

"You see, I'm going to have to watch over my father at the hospital for a while. And I'm going to have to have someone to watch over Dio for a while to make sure he doesn't get into trouble. I know he can't breathe without water for long and can't leave the fountain for long, but that doesn't stop him from trying. Could you...merman-sit for me while I check on my Dad?"

Speedwagon nodded uneasily, and hesitantly glanced toward the fountain, where Dio, taking his time as he slowly ate his mackerel, made eye contact with Speedwagon and gave a hostile snarl.

"Dear me," sighed Speedwagon in exasperation. "Today is going to be a very, very long day."

--------------

***

This.... This was absolutely incredible to read! I love every second of it! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, anon! It's absolutely amazing!

[mfkinanaa]

SUN IN AQUARIUS.

Aquarius: Fixed Air      

Ruler: Saturn

Keywords: Idealism, Community, Liberty, Equality, Science

Functional Expression: Socially aware, humanitarian, egalitarian, civilized, impartial, outgoing, unconventional

Dysfunctional Expression: Cold, critical, aloof, overly rational, erratic, blinded by science and reason.

A Collective Orientation.

With the Sun in the collectively-oriented sign of Aquarius, the emphasis is upon finding individuality within the context of a group or community. Aquarians need to find practical solutions to broad social issues, whilst maintaining a detached or objective position.

As an Air sign, Aquarius is concerned with the exchange of information and ideas, of logic and fact. For those with the Sun in Aquarius communication is key, whether this is informally through maintaining social connections, or more formally through practical routes.

Aquarius has much to do with the social side of life, and Aquarians tend to observe the cultural norms upon which communities are built. Sun in Aquarius people may have excellent networking abilities and a broad range of friends. Maintaining equality in relationships is important for those born under this sign.

As a Fixed sign, Aquarius is concerned with durability. They need to establish firm conceptual underpinnings with which to approach life. Aquarians can tenaciously hold onto ideas of what they perceive as right or wrong, and unless they can be shown a logical alternative to an intended course of action, will be unlikely to change.

They can have a reputation for stubbornness, but it is often the Aquarian ability to maintain a tested theory that is at work here, rather than an obstinate disregard of someone else’s point of view.

Intuitive Insight.

Your sign is gifted with the ability to read the zeitgeist, making lightning fast assessments of current conditions based upon prevailing circumstances. At this level, your intuition is a powerful tool, allowing you to see which next step is the most logical one to take. Maintaining flexibility, whilst trusting your electric-like insight, helps you stay one step ahead of the game, ready to adapt to the future as it unfolds within the now.

Although your intentions may be impersonal, once you have decided on something – be it a protocol or a political stance – you can be extremely rigid in maintaining your position, and unwilling to change. Resistance to change can rob you of one of your greatest assets, which is to be at the forefront of the new.

Your journey involves learning lessons of detachment, objectivity and group involvement.

In some senses, you may try to rise above the drama of the everyday to achieve a more elevated or detached perspective. This helps you recognize the best or fairest outcome for all concerned.

Your innate sense of logic urges you to take an impersonal stance in most situations, in the hope that this will allow you to see things clearly, and without bias. Along the way, you will need to learn to recognize feelings or emotions, and the role that these can play in a balanced approach to life.

If you are on the Aquarian journey, then intellectual flexibility as well as emotional intelligence is required.

This sign rules the collective and in many ways, with the Sun in Aquarius you tend to more comfortable with the impersonal, objective and detached than anything intimate.

Aquarius is perhaps the least emotional sign of the Zodiac, and although many of you are highly emotive of course, you are likely to try and deal with things in a calm, rational and logical manner where possible.

Logically Brilliant.

You recognize that pure logic, when artfully applied, helps an individual to see the outcome that is best for all concerned.

Because you tend to see beyond the personal, you can recognize what is right for the group. Because you can detach from purely personal concerns you understand that what is best for one may not be the best for all.

In such circumstances, you are likely to support ideas and principles that are collective in orientation. As you evolve you learn to focus on what will be of benefit to the greatest number of people involved.

For Sun in Aquarius, social awareness, political insight and group involvement is important as you naturally tend to think in ways that are inclusive, collectively-oriented and concerned with principles such as justice, fairness and equality.

You may be motivated by ideas that have a far-reaching political or scientific reach rather than dwelling on personal concerns or short term gains. You may find yourself mixing with a broad range of people, maintaining relationships with people from all walks of life.

You focus on what is similar rather than different in the people you have around.

Aquarius also rules all aspects of science and technology, so you might find you have special talents in any related fields. Broadcast technologies and telecommunications are governed by this sign, as are politics and humanitarian concerns. Engineering, scientific innovation and human resources also falls within its remit.

Many alternative therapies, metaphysical ideas and occult philosophies that have a scientific as well as intuitive bent are ruled by Aquarius. Often, those with the Sun in Aquarius will be found working in such fields.

Your willingness to go it alone when required, and bring into manifestation the new or untested makes you ideally suited to any profession which involves testing and progressive change.

The View From Outside.

From another point of view, you have a way of finding yourself on the outside.

Despite your collective tendencies, you may be the rebel or the rule breaker within your family or community. In many ways, Aquarians tend to be the ones who do not fit.

With the Sun in Aquarius you need to challenge the status quo, so that nothing goes unquestioned for too long. In this way, you may find that no matter what you do, you cant help being controversial to a degree, pushing buttons or asking awkward questions that expose unexamined presumptions for what they are.

Your preference is for fairness, justice and equality at every level, and you question anything or anyone that might prevent this ideal from being realised. You understand that every individual has the right to be themselves. You may find it is easier to uphold this principle for others than for yourself. 

There are those with the Sun in Aquarius who experience themselves as an outsider, or separate from the group. Your sense of individuality may be so strong that you do not feel that you relate to others, and operate as a kind of “lone wolf”. But this will keep you isolated and lonely, as well as out of touch with your emotional life. While it is important to uphold your individuality, you must also discover the right group of like-minded others to which you can belong.

This may mean breaking through emotional barriers to discover ways to connect. You are likely to make a great networker or team-builder when you focus on what people have in common rather than what keeps them apart. This same logic can be applied to your personal life. Finding like-minded groups of individuals who can appreciate your unique vision is important, and will help you to belong.

Sun in Aquarius: Your Solar Journey.

Born with the Sun in Aquarius, you are gifted with the logical ability to see things as they really are, and work toward solutions that bring benefit to all. You can rise above emotional entanglements to view life from a detached and impersonal perspective. This gives you access to information that helps bring about progress and change. Your journey involves learning to recognize and value your unique contribution. As you become increasingly adept at this, you bring innovation – even brilliance – to anything you become involved with.

This journey is ultimately one of emotional intelligence. As you become skilled at fusing reason and emotion, you become highly intuitive. You are able to find the solution to practical as well as emotional problems by recognizing the lightning flash of intuition, and employing this insight in logical ways. You teach others the value of equality and change when you make decisions based on what is best for the group. You demonstrate the capacity for unique solutions when you exercise your ability to think outside the box. In this way, you bring much needed freedom to your own and others lives. By giving yourself and others permission to be, you embody authenticity whilst maintaining the individual freedom which is the hallmark of your sign.

[schiste-argileux]

Idw Prowl is an evil SOB (took him two years to send the Wreckers to Garrus-9 and help Maxy (who was protecting all the war crimes the Bots did), put Maxy’s torturer and a war criminal on board the Lost Light cuz why not, sent Pharma to Delphi knowing it was DJD territory)

Prowl... Prowl’s creation and competence in his area of work is astounding. He is brilliant, creative, and defiantly apathetic of this world. But, he is very human in his own way. IDW Prowl is selfish, yet not. He is a unique in that aspect because most people make decisions like his for the sole reason of benefiting themselves. But Prowl’s sole reason of existing is to create PEACE. 

Peace. Peace can only be done when people are complacent, happy, and satisfied. When things are stationary. Stable. 

But life is never stable. Elements desire to form bonds, yet are almost always leaning towards to instability... Prowl’s form of PEACE is a world where there is no fighting. But everything sentient requires to fulfill its desires. As long as there is desire, people will fight. 

A world of PEACE would be a world of full control, there are no surprises, no change. Safety, routines, and constants. No creativity, no development... nothing. stagnant. 

But I must admire Prowl’s tenacity and dedication to this world! 

He sacrifices everything for the sake of the directive, preserve cybertron, PEACE. He sacrifices his morals (Robot Gets Bullied By a Human), his dignity (Recent News, Cop Accepts Orgy For The Means of Establishing Peace, his body (Recent News, Cop gets Molested by A Spider for The Autobot Cause), and of course, thousands of lives (Not Recent News). :D Prowl respects and understands that there will always be chaos and instability, and he is so very flexible around it all! He literally can maximize everything and anything he has. He is the embodiment of consequentialism with a lil dash of politics. I wish my group project members were 1% as productive as him! Prowl tries to put everything black and white, and he gets upset when things get far more tricky, and wants to get everything in control so people can stay safe and remain in peace and not fight! And that’s a respectable goal! Control can be good, it means one understands and is able to retain themselves and the thing they are controlling. But Prowl doesn’t want to accept that there are things out of his control. And Prowl likes to think he’s justified when he controls the uncontrollable. 

I mean, yeah, if he didn’t do what he did, the autobots would have been six feet under A LOT EARLIER. Optimus is not a good leader, preserving organic life over his own soldiers? Psh. Look at Spike, he’s got valid points and can I understand why he left the ‘bots. Prowl’s probably thinking everyday, DAMN, OP, WHY R U SO DUMB. LISTEN WE NEED TO FEED OUR SOLDIERS AND PRIORITIZE OUR SPECIES LIVES INSTEAD OF THIS FUCKING CARBON BASED CIRCLE. HELLO??? And literally Prowl could have been like I’m gonna get ya assassinated so I CAN HAVE IT MY WAY. But Prowl was BORN for the RULES. To follow, to MAKE PEACE. Killing the prime figurehead is against that, even if it would make his life way easier! (hence, not that selfish and also sad that your life is the rules. That’s a short leash, but he makes due)

Honestly I feel bad for Prowl. Must suck to be so big brain that everyone hates you when you say the truths (but also you could learn some more tricks from Jazz to be nicer and hide the truth, but that’s scary because a nicer prowl means more people he can trick and use. Thanks Prowl for being so straightforward! Now people can avoid you easier). He's so straightforward about things that need to be done, he’s in constant denial about the grey area of life!

That’s why when Spike slapped Prowl with reality slaps, Prowl lost some of his shit. Remember, nearly everyone had the edgy depressed time in their teens or young adult years where you realize the world is truly unfair and nothing is black and white? Yeah. Slap that on a 6+ million year old robot with a battle computer and is capable of big brain CPU-age, and was literally built for the sole purpose of enforcing rules and making peace? And no one really cared about Prowl enough to understand him and his background. So Prowl goes through his angst moment alone with his huge titties, frustrated. THIS. IS. WHY. YOU. COMMUNICATE. YA DINGUS. 

Prowl doesn’t become a school shooter like Pharma cuz hes got bigger brain and a lot more power and control over himself, but he literally becomes Shadow The Hedgehog (Even if the world’s against me I’ll fight like I’ve always have). HE’S GONE ROGUE. MA’AM, SIR, THE FUCKING OREO COOKIE HAS TRANSFORMED AND ROLLED OUT.  like. OP was the one thing holding prowl back, which was good! But now prowl’s on the roll and bumblebee is too nice and passive to hold him back. + the bombshell brainwash? feels so bad. being prowl sucks. because Prowl is a necessary evil. 

At least he’s wonderfully blunt about his goal to create a peaceful cybertron, which makes it easier if you want to avoid him or smth. meanwhile you have fake people IRL that smile their way through and then slit your throat and you won’t even know it was them (hey jazz, no offense, but that’s what spec ops does). Fakers are the scariest enemy, but Prowl is still a threat, just not as big as a someone who fluffs you up on a balloon and then pops it. Prowl would just be like, hey, you’re really useful, come over here in my white van i wanna show you something and then maybe you get destroyed. But hey! You were the one with the highest chance of surviving compared to other people! Isn’t that great? You’re so skilled WOW. (Prowl gets punched. Again!) Prowl represents the necessary evil in society. We WILL ALWAYS HAVE EVIL people in this world. But Prowl is a far better evil than people who do evil for their own selfish reasons. It’s like how we have law enforcers and politicians . It’s basically giving them legal rights to do illegal things (lmao). BUT we need them regardless. We need those people to get their hands dirty, possibly killed, so that people can live in innocence and peace. 

I don’t think Prowl ever realized that he was a necessary evil, and when Spike showed him that, he was bitter. But he accepted it. Which I respect because most people can’t be bothered to understand themselves and just throw themselves in denial, and point fingers for their flaws. Prowl sucks up and understands who he is, and he makes the best of it to achieve his goal.  I mean, honestly? Prowl is probably a miracle worker. Not in a Ratchet sense. But look at the way modern governments run, nothing gets done, everything is stalled because no one has the guts to make sacrifices. Prowl would have gotten a shit ton of things done, man, and take quick efficient action. Even if he sacrifices many things for it.  (Warning. I do not condone any taking of lives, NO ONE has the right to judge whenever a person should live or die.)  Prowl reminds me of 秦始皇 (Qin Shi Huang), the king who unified China and sacrificed millions to make the Great Wall, canals, and road systems that last to this day. If it wasn’t for these accomplishments, China wouldn’t have been what it is today. Was it a good thing? For the future residents of China? Hell yeah. But the costs? Those are sins that can never be erased, and they are horrible and shouldn't be done ever again. Was it necessary? Perhaps. But that’s another discussion. Is Prowl evil? Depends on your definition of evil. Perhaps he’s justified, perhaps in his world, he’ll go down as the Qin Shi Huang of the Cybertronians. Regardless, Prowl like Pharma, is an EXCELLENT example to study on public ethics, and administrative officials should analyze him and learn from his mistakes and sins.  I think Prowl is not evil in a sense that he wishes to harm others, but evil in a sense of his apathy. Prowl is a necessary component to a functional society (someone to plot, to use people, to enforce rules even if some are sacrificed, someone who can get their hands dirty). He lives a terrible and sad fate, and I do not wish ANYONE to live a life like Prowl’s or look up to Prowl. Yes, he’s so clever and brilliant, but that kind of power will make you the loneliest person on Earth.

Thanks Prowl for taking the entire load of sin on your shoulders! Big MVP! You get nothing from the world except hate and contempt.  I would go on about him more but I have IRL stuff to do. I love Prowl as an example to tell people that MODERATION. COMMUNICATION. AND COMPASSION are important factors to have a healthy and good mental state. Prowl is the perfect example of someone who doesn’t want to empathize (haha so many people are like this today), who doesn’t want to try to use more braincells and friends help to make better plans that are more moderate and not extreme, and who doesn’t want to talk to anyone thinking its a waste of time or have difficulty explaining things.  BUT I LOVE G1 PROWL because he has far more patience and manners, and doesn’t take a darker, route for his goals. awhohdohd he’s baby,,, i wish all cops had patience and manners and in general open-minded yet cautious enough not to be taken advantage of,,,, perhaps then we wouldn’t have so much polarization and fighting with authority in this world.... 

uwuwwuwuwuw they did prowl so dirty in idw WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;____;   Again, you are welcome to disagree or agree! I wrote this really quickly so I’m sure there will be points that could be clarified or edited. Prowl’s really complicated and I do not like to talk about current IRL problems, but Prowl represents a lot of problems in society. And I think it’s critical if we try to look at both perspectives to get an understanding on WHY people do these things, and is there a solution to AVOID making those same mistakes? There’s a couple of controversial things in this short essay I wrote, esp. about cops IRL. So feel free to have at it! Or ignore it! Whichever is more comfortable for you! Thanks for coming to my ted talk! Again, Prowl is a bad influence and a sorrowful life to live. please do not try to be like prowl. xD I won’t intrude on you if you do, because you have a right to live the life you want as long as you’re not hurting other people’s interests and wellbeing! 

[cypher-of-the-night]

Biography: Yuuichi Kuroi

“Between going to hell for killing leeches, or to heaven at the cost of innocent lives... I’d rather stay a sinful man for the rest of my life.”

~

Full name: Kuroi, Yuuichi

Kanji: 黒佑一

Age: 19

Meaning:  Yuuichi - To help one; Kuroi - Black, Dark

Nickname(s):

Sensei (by Yui),

Yuuichi Jiang (Alias)

Yòu-Yī  Jiang (Chinese Name)

Age: 19 (Looks around early 20′s)

Birthday: April 1st

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Ethnicity: Chinese/Japanese

Nationality: Japanese

Hobbies: Hunting, Practicing Martial Arts

Favorite Food: Cream Stew

Dislikes: Days-Off, Vampires, and Ignorance

Race: Vampire, Human (Formerly)

Gender: Male

Height: 178 cm (5’10")

Weight: 67 kg (147 lbs)

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Blue

Blood Type: O

Occupation: High School Teacher-in-Training, Vampire Hunter

Relatives:

Ying-Yue Jiang (ancestral foremother)

Naoki Enjo (Distant Relative)

Hisoka Kuroi (First-Cousin, Arranged fiancée)

Tsurara Kuroi (Parental Grandmother)

Favorite Food: Cream Stew

Hobbies: Hunting, Practicing Martial Arts

Seiyuu: Satoshi Hino (Ao from Hakkenden (Talking /Singing)

English Voice: Greg Cote (Eita Izumi from Just Because) (Talking)

~

Personality:

To the public eye, Yuuichi is a cool, collected young genius. At the age of 13, He graduates from college and is mentioned to be friendless, as he distances himself from others ever since childhood; Only having his cousin as his only other companion growing up. As he was always quiet, people found Yuuichi intimidating as he would be the only one brave enough to stare down and talk back at the Sakamaki’s, the Mukami’s, and even the Tsukinami’s; Something not even the Principal could do. Yuuichi is also observant and strict, even catching Ayato cheating but never calls him out on it; This leads to him and Ayato having a rather antagonistic relationship.

However, Yuuichi’s cool front is actually a mask, revealing himself to be passionate, but broken young man, desperately looking for love, affection, acceptance, and acknowledgment. Having grown up in a family of Vampire Hunters, Yuuichi has learned to kill vampires since he was young; While he was exceptional in this field, Yuuichi always had to live up to high expectations and was forced to distance himself from others to protect them from getting involved with his life as a Vampire hunter. He cares dearly about innocent people, but felt he must put them at a distance to keep them safe from harm. Always feeling that he must carry the burden on his own, Yuuichi bottles up his emotions in order to continue his role as a protector to innocent humans. He also has a soft spot for children, especially orphans, as he himself is an orphan.

While it was never reciprocated, Yuuichi did hold romantic feelings for his cousin, Hisoka, ever since they were children; Even before their arranged engagement. However, while he has tried to win her heart, it was apparent that She never loved him anymore than a brother. This is due to growing up believing he was a mistake by their grandmother, as he was born as an illegitimate child to the Kuroi family, and that Hisoka was the first person that has treated him as if his existence wasn’t a mistake and that he felt validated by her. This is also why he was not the family heir, despite being the oldest. He also developed a self-hatred and a case of PTSD from having to undergo harsh training as a Vampire hunter, losing his family members, to the abusive treatment from his grandmother.

Due to the way he grew up in the organization and his own hatred towards vampires, Yuuichi feels no remorse in killing the blood-sucking creatures and strongly believes that they are beasts in human form that deserve nothing more than to be extinct. While he genuinely feels that way, it only adds in his self-hatred and disgust for allowing himself become a vampire just to survive when he would rather die. As a vampire hunter, he also knows tactics to torture someone and do what ever means necessary to get the job done; Even it meant resorting to manipulation.

While appearing rational, Yuuichi also holds a sadistic side from the influence of being a vampire and would have the tendencies to succumb to vamperic urges along with his own desires; Depending on which route he’s in, He can either succumb to insanity, forcibly take what he wants as a desperate attempt to find his own happiness, and die as a tragic man, or He can be taught that he can love and be loved healthily, that he must pick up the broken pieces in order to find happiness, and to live as the avenging survivor.

~

Strengths:

Highly intelligent, respectful to elders, goal-oriented, protective, observant, a realist, serious, mysterious, cool, calm, fast-learner, outspoken when needed to, Caring to children, does show gratitude, strong-willed, kind, athletic, knowledgeable, passionate, experienced, and faithful.

Flaws: Secretly sadistic (from Vampiric urges), cold, stoic, vengeful, stubborn, persistent, easily lonely, hot-tempered, hostile, emotionally scarred, secretive, mentally scarred, self-hatred, has a hard time trusting people, hard, mentally unstable, anxious, paranoid, can’t cook, fearful of losing loved ones, socially awkward, shy, secretly masochistic (heavily embarrassed of this fact about himself) and secretly soft-hearted (can’t show it due to his upbringing as a hunter).

Skills: Shooting with guns (specifically pistols), Fluent in different languages (Chinese, Japanese, English), her intelligence (has even gotten a higher score than Reiji on tests), has high patience, high stamina, a fast runner, enhanced sense of smell, slightly stronger than normal humans, good listening skills, reading people and their emotions, skilled at playing on the flute, singing, has good flexibility, is Ambidextrous (both left-handed and right-handed), charisma, negotiation and interrogation skills, pain endurance, has slow but steady healing, a quick thinker, surprisingly observant, excellent swordsmanship, and an expert martial artist.

~

History:

Born as an illegitimate child to the Kuroi family, Yuuichi has always been deemed as a “mistake” all of his life by his own grandmother, Tsurara Kuroi. At a young age, His father was disappeared after being reported as MIA during a mission while his mother was kidnapped by a vampire. He was placed under the care of his aunt and uncle for a short time, meeting his first-cousin, Hisoka Kuroi; Falling in love with her and her innocence, Yuuichi swore to protect her and to work hard to become her husband when they are older. Such a thing even became the reason why he would eventually become a exceptional vampire hunter as he grew older.

When he was placed under Tsurara’s care, Yuuichi was immediately taken to start the harsh vampire-hunter training for Kuroi family members; The training sessions caused him to experience horrors and force him to kill in order to save himself, resulting nightmares and eventual numbness in order to get through every training session. Becoming a professional at the age of 8, Yuuichi’s first mission was to kill the same vampire that kidnapped his mother; But once he did and comes across his mother, who was imprisoned the entire time and showed signs of abuse and bite marks, She tearfully begs him to kill her so that she doesn’t turn into a vampire, fearing she would end up hurting others the way her captive has hurt her. Heartbroken that their reunion would end up as it did, Yuuichi complies before telling his mother he loved her, in which his mother replies that she (along with his father) will always love him. From having to kill his own mother as well, this lead to the start of his burning hatred for vampires, vowing to eradicate every single one of them so that humans won’t have to suffer the same way his mother did.

After hearing about the deaths of his aunt and uncle, the memories of his father’s disappearance, and the kidnapping and death of his mother comes back to haunt him and fuel the burning hatred of vampires more; Whether or not Hisoka herself survived or not, Yuuichi will still remain guilty for not being able to be there to protect her or her innocence as he swore to.

If Hisoka did survive, whichi is Hisoka’s Route: Due to the fear of almost losing her, Yuuichi becomes heavily emotionally invested in her to a point he gets jealous of anyone that Hisoka interacts with, especially Yui Komori, who he envied and hated for being the one that helped Hisoka open up when she needed someone the most. Yuuichi would do anything for Hisoka just to make her happy and to win her love, in a similar way Richter loves Cordelia; However, when a mission to rescue Yui was changed to killing her, Yuuichi was the first to take the task to do so. Due to Hisoka’s love and devotion to Ruki Mukami, Yuuichi’s mentality breaks, becoming insane and unpredictable, and resorts to making his happiness happen by force (the happiness being promised by Tsurara herself if Yuuichi kills Yui successfully). This ends up failing and leads to his death by Hisoka’s hands.

If Hisoka didn’t survive, which is Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi becomes the only Kuroi member left in the new generation, making him the only other candidate to become heir to the Kuroi family. But Tsurara does not allow it as she still labels him a ‘mistake’, despite his adroit skills as a hunter. From this, Yuuichi comes to the belief that Tsurara had something to do with the death of the rest of his family members, especially after learning about the wiping out of the clan from his mother’s side. As such, He has decided to investigate deeper into the mystery, which lead to taking on the task to assassinate Yui Komori, only to use her to figure out a lead to Tsurara’s crimes that ended up massacring the rest of his family.

Sometime in between the Haunted Dark Bridal Saga and the MORE BLOOD Saga, Yuuichi was almost near death from a mission he was sent to by Tsurara, only to be saved by and turned by Richter on a certain condition:

Hisoka Route: Richter agrees to make Yuuichi strong enough to kill the Mukami’s, especially Ruki Mukami, who was working with Karlheinz, the Vampire King, but in exchange, Yuuichi will help him dethrone Karlheinz and kill the Sakamaki’s. Due to Yuuichi’s mentality breaking from Hisoka loving Ruki, He agrees to help Richter overthrow Karlheinz and kill the vampires. This is also because they share a mutual understanding of loving a woman that loves someone else, and will do anything just to make them happy/their own, to a point not having them in their arms makes them lose their own sanity.

Naoki Route: Richter agrees to help provide Yuuichi the information he needs to prove Tsurara was guilty, if Yuuichi agrees to keep Yui safe from the Sakamaki’s and the Mukami’s. While Yuuichi didn’t understand why Richter would give him this opportunity, seeing that they both have a common enemy in Tsurara, Yuuichi accepts this despite his own hatred for vampires as long as it would be beneficial to what he is looking for in order to get evidence of Tsurara’s crimes. He eventually does kidnap Yui, using Naoki as a distraction, but while he had her in his custody, they do eventually fall in love and Yuuichi realizes his own inhumane actions and decides to learn to love himself, as well as to move forward with his life.

Eventually, He goes undercover in the guise of a Teacher-in-Training at Ryoutei Academy.

(SPOILERS)

In Naoki’s route, in the DARK FATE Saga, It is revealed that Yuuichi is also a bloodline member of the Chinese clan of human vampire hunters with the first-blood blood in their veins, due to their foremother ancestor, Ying-Yue Jiang; Ying-Yue was the original host of a first-blood’s heart (whom was also her lover in her former life as a human), and was a human before turning into a vampire after she gave birth to a human son that carried the blood of a First-blood, Asher. Due to herself staying hidden for many centuries to hide from Karlheinz under her first-blood lover’s instructions, Ying-Yue was given the nickname “Lilith”, who was known to be the first wife of Adam but leaves him after she refuses to become subservient to him (in a similar sense where Ying-Yue refuses to let herself become experimented as an Eve to Karlheinz’s plan); However, their secret was revealed when one of their clan’s members was kidnapped by a vampire who found out about the truth of their blood. That kidnapped member was Yuuichi’s mother herself. And after the Clan was targeted and massacred, Yuuichi became one of the two only clan members left alive; The other revealing to be Naoki Enjo, the current host of Asher’s heart. The one that plotted the massacre of the clan was Tsurara herself; However, due to Karlheinz’s decision to kill off the entire family of Hisoka, including Hisoka herself, to allow one member from the Jiang clan escape from the massacre, this lead to Tsurara to hold a grudge as she had plans to use Hisoka as her perfect successor as Head of the VH Organization.

It is also revealed that, the real reason Tsurara called Yuuichi a mistake, is because she became aware of the first-blood blood in his veins, and deemed him as one with filthy blood; This is the reason why she refused to make him heir to the family, as all of his abilities were only enhanced from the blood of a first-blood, and that she only sent him on the mission where he was almost killed is to ensure that he does get killed and never returns. In Hisoka’s Route in the DARK FATE saga, where Yuuichi has already been killed, Tsurara explains that she was responsible in organizing the massacre of the Jiang clan and that she did arrange killing of Yuuichi in order to give Hisoka the push she needed to attempt rising up against her, and turn her into the perfect successor after Hisoka herself realizes the truth of her existence and the reason for the death of her family was all because she existed.

Once everything comes to light, in Naoki’s Route in the DARK FATE saga, Asher reveals to Yuuichi that his father was the one informed the clan about the kidnapping as a warning and took Naoki to the orphanage, but as a result from receiving word he gave warning of the VH Organization hunters coming to massacre them, Tsurara had him, one of her own sons, executed for “betraying the organization”.

~

Trivia:

• Yuuichi is unable to cook; Legend tells he tried to cook something himself, but he ends up burning everything he cooks into flames. Even cereal. Even in

Hisoka’s Route

in the

MORE BLOOD

saga, It is mentioned that Yuuichi himself almost burned down the organization from trying to cook; The one of the very few things he can do is brew coffee.

• While only describes as his hobbies, Yuuichi actually hunts and practices Martial arts as said hobbies is mainly because it helps him keep his figure and to ensure he does not slack off from lack of training.

This is why He doesn’t like day off’s, as he feels uncomfortable doing nothing and that he would rather much do something than doing nothing.

• In his own Manservant ending in the MORE BLOOD saga with Yui, He ends up becoming just like Richter and becomes a submissive slave to Yui, who would end up inheriting dominant, sadistic traits from Cordelia; He even ends up killing Richter to ensure Yui remains his, in fear that Richter will take her away from him.

In the DARK FATE route of Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi confronts Richter as he tries to make a move on Yui in the delusion that she’s Cordelia and denies being like him; This is ironic, considering the fact that he is very much like him in Hisoka’s Route, as his own mentality breaks and would do whatever means necessary to keep Hisoka at his side, even if it meant killing those in his way.

•  He inherited his blue eyes from his father, while his mother holds the same pink eyes as Naoki; It is implied that the bloodline family members of the Jiang clan have the same colored eyes, but the reason why Yuuichi has blue eyes is because the Kuroi family genes has been known to be arguably stronger.

• Yuuichi was originally made to be a character for Hisoka Kuroi’s universe; However, regretting such great potential to go to waste, Yuki (The creator of this blog and @star-crossedfidelity​) brought him back for Naoki Enjo’s story in an alternative universe and gives him a happy ending where he is the love interest of Yui Komori.

• Yuuichi’s real name is Yòu-Yī Jiang (Jiang Yòu-Yī; 江佑一), which respectively mean “To protect all” and “River”.

• Upon his appearance in the MORE BLOOD Saga in Naoki’s route,  

• By the DARK FATE saga in Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi is revealed to be spiritually-Endowed Human-First Blood Hybrid; This is due to Ying-Yue Jiang, his foremother and Asher’s lover, became the first carrier of the first-blood’s heart before she had sexual intercourse with another human in an arranged marriage, which lead to conceiving a human child that would later start a family line of human with first-blood ancestry from Ying-Yue carrying Asher’s heart before the child was conceived; Thus, Yuuichi is a human with first-blood ancestry.

Asher reveals that because the child was born from two humans, despite his blood running through its veins, they can not possess magic, transform, or summon familiars like a first-blood; Instead, because of his blood, The child was stronger, quicker, and healed faster than an average human, along with inheriting the ability to sense vampires and invisible familiars. This is why the clan were phenomenal vampire hunters as, while they can’t see them, they can sense their presence, using those abilities to their advantages.

Asher also reveals that Yuuichi’s enhanced abilities were due to the blood that ran through the family bloodline for generations, and if Yuuichi was the host for his heart, Asher admits that Yuuichi would’ve unlock even more power due to his upbringing as a vampire hunter.

• Due to never having a normal childhood or having a chance to relax, Yuuichi has no knowledge or recollection on what’s it’s like to be a child; For example, He has never been to an amusement park, nor has he ever been to a festival before.

• While he is good with swordsmanship, He prefers to use guns instead; The reason for this is because, when he went on his first mission, He used a sword; Which meant he had to kill his own mother with the sword, and began to use guns after that. In Hisoka’s Route, It is confirmed that Yuuichi would only use swords if he is being sent on a more difficult mission.

• Yuuichi uses the alias “Yuuichi Jiang”, a mixture of his Japanese name and his mother’s maiden name; However, in Naoki’s Route in the MORE BLOOD saga, this is how Asher began to suspect Yuuichi as another living survivor of the massacre, due to his Chinese decent, his own enhanced abilities, and his familiar scent of those from the Jiang clan.

• In Hisoka’s Route, Yuuichi is in love with Hisoka, and not Yui, who he bitterly hated and envied; However, in Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi becomes Yui’s keeper by the MORE BLOOD Saga and they end up falling in love. ~

Credits: Character sheet image, art provided by @seven-re​.

[you-guys--are-losers]

Can you pls do prompt 66?

//Absolutely! Ooh… This is gonna be fun. Turned out angstier than it was supposed to, but oh well. 

66: Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In

Better This Way

Summary: Moving on is hard, but it’s a little easier with Michelle Jones by your side. 

Characters: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones

Wordcount: 3,383

Warnings: Grief, Touch of Angst, Michelle Being an Incredible Human

Peter has been anticipating something like this for a long time, but that doesn’t mean that he’s prepared when it happens. 

Pepper gives him plenty of time to prepare, of course. In fact, she gives him almost an entire year of warning, letting him know of the plans for the event at Christmas. Peter even manages to convince himself that he’s alright with it. The months fly by in a blur of managing his own business, stealing MJ away from her own work to walk the streets of New York with street food in their work clothes, and darting to the new headquarters to address each new challenge that comes with being an Avenger. Peter appreciates the busy nature of things, just as much as he appreciates returning to his fiancee after each challenge and holding her close, more grateful each time for the snarky comment she greets him with and the way she let him hold her until they are both asleep. It helps him forget, helps him to keep telling himself that nothing will change when it’s time.

Every thought of preparedness deserts Peter completely when he begins to see the announcements on social media: “First Annual Stark Charity Gala.” 

Tony’s name is everywhere again; not that it ever stopped circulating, of course. But it had quieted to a steady buzz up until the announcement. Now, the tributes explode across Peter’s feed. There is art, poetry, thousands of stories of all the ways that Tony left his mark on the world. Peter only manages to resist the urge to read every single one when MJ persuades him to delete his news app, reminding him that it’s only the manufactured reality that the government wants him to subscribe to. 

Peter appreciates the intervention; it does help, and for a while it pushes the date farther and farther into the future. 

But the articles grow even bigger than the internet after a while, and Tony Stark is not the only name on everyone’s lips. It’s the first real, major appearance that Peter will have made as himself, at least since the address to the public following Mysterio’s reveal of Peter’s identity. But that was different– it came in the wake of an acquittal, and with a promise to the public. That was “Avenger stuff,” as May likes to call it; it was an acceptance of the mantle that had been passed onto him with the allowance that he was not Tony Stark, and that he would make it his own.

This isn’t “Avenger stuff.” This is Peter Parker stuff. People aren’t asking about Spider-Man, they’re watching him.

And even though it’s better, the loss of Tony still weighs down on people, almost as heavy as the responsibility of carrying on for him. 

The reporters call the apartment he shares with MJ, leave May voicemails, and linger on the doorstep of the building where he lives. MJ has gotten pretty good at dealing with them; ever since she learned that the press can’t use anything with swearing in it, she’s actually been enjoying herself. On other days, she wears t-shirts with the names of various non-profits scrawled on the back in hand-lettering. It lifts Peter’s spirits, and he even begins to join her (in the charity endorsement, not the profanity) when he’s on his way to his tech startup or when they’re going out together. 

Still, even that isn’t enough. Peter can tell MJ notices, and he manages to explain enough of what he’s feeling that he knows she understands. Just telling MJ makes it more bearable, because she does what she always does when he needs support: she doesn’t try to fix the problem, but she does make sure he knows that she’s there. 

In the days leading up to the gala, Peter begins to notice the little ways she is taking care of him. When he gets back from work, it is to an empty apartment; something came up with her current project at work, so she was called in with the entire team of animators she supervises to address it. However, though there is no MJ, he does find a cannoli from their favorite bakery waiting for him in the fridge with a purple sticky note on the cardboard box. Her scrawl, spindly and neat and angular, causes him to grin for the first time that day. 

Couldn’t think of a pun. First one to come up with one wins. 

He tucks the note in his bag for the rest of the work week. 

The Thursday night after that, their favorite books have somehow found their way to the coffee table in front of the sofa. They spend the night curled up under one of May’s attempts at quilting, each with their own novel and a cup of tea that MJ refills when needed. She somehow always manages to make the perfect cup of tea. The chamomile in his mug and the scent of her lavender shampoo are exactly what he needs. 

Over the rest of the week, they don’t breach the subject again. There’s no need to. What Peter does need is a liberal amount of snuggles, sarcastic banter, and the feeling of her curly hair brushing his cheek as he rests his head on her shoulder. MJ is more than willing to provide all of these, and she does it like is the most obvious thing in the world. 

That’s what makes the day of the gala so much harder. 

It feels like he is sleepwalking from the moment he wakes up. Peter rises long before MJ, though he does take a moment to appreciate the soft breathing of the firl he loves beside him. Her curly hair tickles his cheek from across his pillow as she shifts her head slightly, and Peter can’t resist the urge to lightly stroke her cheek in a gentle caress before he rises. She’s been so intentional about loving him, so willing to show the same quiet, steady flexibility that she always has. 

That only makes Peter feel more guilty. For all she’s done, it still feels like he’s drowning. 

It’s a Saturday, and Peter has already informed everyone at the office that he won’t be be coming in today. So, instead of heading to work or lingering around the apartment, Peter heads to the compound. The lab is there for him, the way it always is. 

It’s his, something that Pepper consistently reminded him of once it was rebuilt where one of Tony’s favorite places had been in the old compound. It has a lot of Stark tech, certainly, but in the time since Peter has left his mark on the place. It’s where he’s done a lot of innovating for his own startup, a lot of the brainstorming and experimenting that has led to great advancements. But that’s not what Peter thinks about today as he looks around the work space, where the various machines on standby glow dimly and gleam on metallic counter-tops. 

He’s thinking of every wrong attempt, each scrapped failure that his successes have been built on. This is the place where it is okay not to be okay, because if he isn’t now, he will be. He needs that. 

Peter isn’t sure how long he spends in the lab, fiddling with the various machines and working on the designs of a few abandoned prototypes that Pepper had sent over to him. They were some of Tony’s “works in progress,” all those years ago. The things he had started and dropped for various reasons, always with the understanding that the work he began could be finished by someone else. 

Peter appreciates the work, but more than anything, he appreciates the proximity it creates to Tony. It’s been so many years, and so much has happened… Peter has gone to college, graduated, proposed to MJ, become everything that Tony told him he could be. But that ache is still there, arcing through his chest with every new milestone that Stark isn’t there for. And at times of stress like these, Peter misses the feeling of knowing that there was someone waiting to catch him when he fell. 

He isn’t sure how long he stays at the lab, but the sun rises and is beginning to descend from its climb when Peter is informed by F.R.I.D.A.Y. that someone is entering the compound. Peter figures it’s probably one of the other Avengers; Sam is staying for the weekend in order to attend the gala, and Bucky has taken to staying in the area every so often in order to be available for Avengers business. T’Challa is in town for the gala as well; perhaps he has returned to fetch something from the compound or to access one of the Avengers databases. 

Whatever it may be, Peter figures that if he is needed, F.R.I.D.A.Y. will let him know. Peter continues to work, adjusting the hologram he is attempting to replicate and raking a hand through his mess of curls that have not been brushed yet. A bit of grease has smeared on his other hand, but he does not pay it the least bit of mind as he lightly brushes sweat from his brow, leaving a black streak in the wake of his fingertips. 

“Placement’s wrong.” 

Her voice, quiet and simple and truthful, drifts across the lab and over Peter’s shoulder. He pauses for a moment, letting out a breath and letting the flat cutter he’s holding drift to the counter as he closes his eyes, not turning. 

“I can’t figure it out.” The admission is tired and accepting from his lips, and he hears the clicking of heels across the lab floor as she draws closer to him. 

“You’re preoccupied.” Peter closes his eyes, simply drinking in the feeling of her shoulder lightly knocking his as he listens to her pick up the flat cutter. The quiet, familiar whirring of electronics, and then he can tell she has corrected his error for him efficiently. 

“Yeah,” he admits, exhaling as he finally turns to face her. “I just-” 

All thoughts vacate his mind when he looks at her. 

She’s dressed, ready for the gala; it must be later than he thought. Deep, dark eyes find his, lashes long and dark as she searches his face with them. Her brown eyes are piercing in the light of the lab, illuminated by the glowing hologram before them as she looks in every line of his countenance, gauging his emotional state. 

Her hair has been straightened and curled, and it drifts to the shoulders of the dress she wears. It reminds Peter of the flappers that she loves so much, glimmering in the artificial light of the lab as it swishes to her knees in shining fringes. Everyone else tonight will be wearing glamorous, floor-length clothing, black tie and red lipstick. The sharp wing of her eyeliner, the wisps of hair that frame her face like a halo, the cut of her clothing… All of it will be striking, out of place, offbeat in the glamorous room. 

She’s going to be by his side, and she won’t be pretending in front of the cameras and the reporters. And because MJ is by his side, he won’t have to be either. 

MJ’s lips part slightly, and for a moment Peter thinks that she is going to take a step closer. Then she blinks, shaking her head slightly, and glances him up and down. “I think you should go like this,” she murmurs, a gentle, hesitant smile edging onto her parted lips. “I like it better than a suit, and it’ll give the tabloids something to talk about.” 

Peter winces as she mentions the tabloid, but an ironic grin rises to his lips anyway as he leans back against the counter-top, studying her. He can tell that she is caught off-guard by the gleam of wonder in his eyes as he looks at her, the woman who is so unapologetically herself in contexts that might terrify other people. 

“I thought you hated the tabloids.” 

MJ tips her head slightly to the side, contemplating her answer as she gazes into his eyes. “They’re awful writing, and they profit off of violating people’s privacy,” she decides, brown eyes filled with a pensive sort of intelligence that sparks adoration in Peter’s chest where before there was only dread. “But so does the government. At least the tabloids don’t try to hide it.” 

There is a moment of silence as each takes in the other. Peter can feel MJ’s eyes traveling his countenance, and his cheeks flush. His hair has gone unbrushed all day and is a mess of lumpy curls. His t-shirt is stained with grease, as are his hands, and his clothing is creased and rumpled. She looks like an angel, and he is a mess… And yet, somehow, she looks at him with the same admiration that he does her. 

She steps closer, and Peter is reminded unavoidably of her words when she showed him the broken necklace he had given her all those years ago. She’s never been one for whole and complete. She likes what’s broken, what’s twisted. 

She’s not scared of a little darkness. 

“I should be over him by now.” 

Peter swallows as the words leave his lips, and his eyes flicker to the ground. There is quiet for a moment, and then he hears the sound of her slipping her shoes off. Bare feet brush the lab floor as she approaches, slow and sure. Peter doesn’t look up, but he feels her arms loop around his waist, gentle and comforting. There is a lump in his throat. 

“That’s not how that works.” Her words are whispered against his forehead, and Peter slowly tips his head up to face hers. His eyes sting as they land upon her black-lined ones. 

“It’s been years.” 

“Time is relative. You can’t assign it to something like losing someone.” 

“I just… They’re gonna ask me things tonight, about everything.”

“You’re used to questions.” Her thumb gently strokes his lower back as she pauses a moment, then nestles closer after a moment of thought. This is one of the things he loves about her more than anything; even after years of dating and a promise to marry her, she’s cautious. Careful. She makes sure that he’s comfortable with everything she is doing, makes sure that if he wants to pull away, he can. 

“You answer them all the time. You’re good at dealing with reporters with the Avengers, and you have no problem navigating the press at work.” Peter exhales softly, moving to rest his head against hers. However, she pulls back slightly, leaving a few centimeters between their faces so she can look in his eyes. 

For all her care when it comes to intimacy, Michelle Jones does not shy back from the ugly truths. 

“You need to say it, Peter.” 

Dark eyes linger on his, and a few strands of perfectly curled hair have escaped their neighbors, glowing in the soft light emanating blue from the hologram. She does not look away, does not shrink back from the unspoken words that linger between them. She is still waiting for him to say them. 

“I can’t… I’m not ready to answer questions about him.” 

MJ blinks, and one of her hands gently rises to cradle his face. Still, she says nothing, and Peter knows she is leaving him room to continue. 

“They’re all going to be looking for quotes, for little tidbits about… About Mr. Stark that no one knows. And they’re going to be looking for them from his replacement. But I don’t want to give away any more pieces of him.” 

Peter lets out a sharp exhale, looking away. “I’m selfish.” 

Her thumb thoughtfully travels along his cheekbone, and she sighs. “You’re a lot of things, Peter,” she murmurs. “For one, you’re sweaty, and you look like hell.” 

He lets out an amused huff, lips relaxing into a slight pout as he looks up into her tentatively playful eyes. “Don’t worry, I like you better this way. Suits are boring.” 

Peter closes his eyes and leans into her touch, letting it spread warmth through him when all he feels is cold. She indulges him for a moment before letting her hand drift to where it can rest at the nape of his neck. 

When he opens his eyes hers are ready. They have been waiting for his, and they pierce into him, dissecting his sorrow like scalpels through scar tissue. 

“You aren’t selfish. And you never have been.” 

The breath that leaves him relieves the ache in his chest, but it also catches in his throat. Her fingers press slightly harder at the back of his neck, letting him know that she is still there. 

“There are things that aren’t meant to be given away, not to the wrong people. There are answers that are only for you, and maybe for Morgan when she’s old enough to ask the right questions. But they don’t have a right to them, and it’s okay.” 

Peter tries to ignore the stinging in his eyes, and he offers her a slightly shaky smile. She returns it with her own lopsided grin, lips soft with the beeswax lip balm that she likes so much. “I don’t… You are so much more to me than I ever thought anyone could be.” 

Michelle freezes, and for a moment Peter feels that same, terrifying rush of panicked nerves that he felt all those years ago when he told her that he liked her. Somehow, she is capable of inducing it in him even now, and he finds himself resisting the urge to apologize. 

She lets out a shaky breath, and then the corner of her mouth tips up as she tilts her head slightly. 

“You’re welcome.” 

Peter laughs quietly at the words, and then she is laughing too, inching closer. The soft laughter drifts off, and Peter’s gaze lingers on hers. MJ purses her lips as his eyes rest on hers, and then they part slightly as her eyes wander his face, every line and crease and smudge. 

They flicker to his lips, then, and Peter feels his breathing halt as his do the same. 

“I want to… But you’re all ready.” 

“Right.” 

“I shouldn’t.” 

“No… Yeah. Definitely. Terrible idea.” 

His eyes flicker to hers, which are filling with amusement. Then those full lips are twisting into a smirk, and before Peter knows it she is guiding his mouth to hers with firm fingers. 

He doesn’t need to be told twice. 

When they show up to the gala roughly an hour later, they’re barely on time. It’s as Peter predicted: the cameras are flashing, illuminating Peter’s slightly rumpled tux and the hair that will not quite smooth over, though someone has clearly tried. The voices overlap, shouting their names. Peter doesn’t look to them. 

Instead, his fingers lace with MJ’s and his eyes linger on the little trace of grease that his fingers brushed along her cheekbone, the one she decided not to wipe away. 

I actually like it better this way. 

The mischievous gleam in her eyes as she had said it in the lab remains as Peter looks at her, dropping behind slightly just to take her in. She is standing a step ahead of him, at the doors, waiting for him with a raised eyebrow. Her curls are a bit messier than they were before, something the tabloids will almost certainly pick up on, as well as the fact that his jacket has a few wrinkles. 

Peter doesn’t care. 

As he joins her, Peter can’t keep the grin off of his face. She glances over at him conspiratorially as they enter the venue, shoulder bumping his. “What?” 

“I was just thinking…” 

“About using this opportunity to scope out the level of corruption in all of these local politicians? Yeah, me too.” 

Peter grins, hand squeezing hers slightly. 

“…He’d be proud.” 

“He was always proud of you, Peter.” 

Now it’s Peter’s turn to smirk. “I was more referring to the whole, ‘making out in the limo on the way here’ part.” 

The punch to his bicep doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it should, especially not when paired with MJ’s disbelieving grin.

Taglist: @eniemeanie @inlovewithtoomanythings @booksarelife-stuff @AlexanderThyGreat @flawless-tlc @heynowitsafangirl @but-saving-what-we-love @haurasha @friendly-spoodermin @lundya366 @nicolewithasoul @1am9root @spiderkaren

[personalcoachingcenter]

Emotions And How They Affect Our Learning

New Post has been published on http://personalcoachingcenter.com/emotions-and-how-they-affect-our-learning/

Emotions And How They Affect Our Learning

Research Paper By  Bogdan Vizitiu (Leadership & Youth Coach, ROMANIA)

As humans and complex mammals, we have a plethora of needs that circulate in our everyday lives. Two of the most important ones are Attachment and Authenticity. It is particularly challenging to keep those two needs in check. Many of us lose contact with our authenticity (inner self and our gut feelings) to satisfy our other need for attachment.

In other words, to stay authentic is to threaten attachment. And if that happens, we give up our authenticity. And then we wonder who we are or whose life is this and who is experiencing all this. And so, that is where the reconnection with oneself has to happen.

This research paper focuses on how emotions affect our brain and our capacity to learn and grow. The questions it answers are:

How do emotions affect our brain?

How can we use emotions in coaching?

The LIVES (Lifeline, Introspection, Values, Emotions, Shine) coaching model takes the client through a journey of rediscovering and reconnecting with the true self.

In his trilogy His Dark Materials, Phillip Pullman gives us his view on the matter with the story of Lyra Belacqua, a girl that could interpret the symbols of the alethiometer, a compass-like device that reveals the truth. It is a rare and valuable gift. By the end of the books she no longer possesses that gift, and she must regain it by work – that it will take a lifetime.

As Lyra, when we are children, when we are connected to our internal compass, we know what is right and by the time we grow into adulthood, we are more and more disconnected from it.

The brain needs time to acquire new information and to incorporate it. One of our fundamental needs is to have the space to communicate and this is one of the things that are less and less available in our society. It’s difficult to adjust to the rapidity of change that’s going on technologically and we don’t have time to absorb, process, and integrate what is going on and happening around us and that’s part of the problem we are facing as coaches in our society.

The emotional basis of cognition.

In 1994 – Antonio Damasio in his book: “Descartes Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human Brain”,  talks about learning and how he used to assume that learning, cognition, intellectualization was a separate entity and a separate process from emotionality. Cognition stands on an edifice of emotion. At the basis of learning is our emotional being, and our emotional being is connected to our internal organs (visceral organs). The brain is like a project manager that brings together information that is coming from the outside as well as from the inside, at the same time. And the messages the brain receives from the inside (visceral, emotions) is how well we can connect with the outside – external world.

Our capacity to pay attention and to learn have a lot to do with what is happening internally on the emotional and visceral level and what our gut feeling is telling us. In a society where people are less and less connected to their gut feelings – there is less and less engagement with the reality of the external world because of this disconnect. We live in a society that cuts us off from our gut feelings. There is something internal that knows and is much stronger than what intellect is telling us.

Damasio says: “The lower levels in the neural edifice of reason are the same ones that regulate the processing of emotions and feelings, along with the body functions necessary for an organism’s survival. In turn, these lower levels maintain direct and mutual relationships with virtually every bodily organ, thus placing the body directly within the chain of operations that generate the highest reaches of reasoning, decision making, and, by extension, social behavior, and creativity. Emotion, feeling, and biological regulation all play a role in human reason.”[p xvii]

When a behavior does not serve us anymore is wise to ask oneself what is happening on the emotional level at that moment.

On another note, the prefrontal cortex has 9 important functions: regulates the body itself, it regulates attuned communication with others, emotional balance, response flexibility (can decide how to respond to stimuli –this is further explored in the responding vs reacting power tool), providing insight, empathy, modulation of fear ( calm down – you have this), intuition and morality. These 9 functions are supported by mindful awareness practice. And all of them are supported and developed by nurturing parenting. What happens when parents are so stressed that they are no longer able to provide this stress-free environment then these 9 functions of the prefrontal cortex are unable to develop properly.

Harvard Centre on the Developing Child says: Growing scientific evidence demonstrates that social and physical environments that threaten human development because of scarcity, stress or instability can lead to short term physiologic and psychological adjustments that are necessary for immediate survival and adaptation but which may come at a significant cost to long term outcomes in learning, behavior, health, and longevity.

The things that young human beings must develop as adaptive mechanisms to survive early stress will help them endure that early stress but in the long term will interfere with health and learning, adaptation, social relationships, and longevity.

In coaching these could be translated to beliefs and how in the past they served us and protected us. The challenge is to probe what is costing us to keep them still.

The architecture of the brain is constructed to an ongoing process that begins before birth, continues to adulthood, and establishes a sturdy or fragile foundation for all the health, learning, and behavior that follow. The interaction of genes and experiences shapes the circuitry of the developing brain and is critically influenced by the mutual responsiveness of adult-child relationships, early childhood years.”

The mechanism we could see here is that the prefrontal cortex regulates the body when it is under stress, so one of the responses of the mind is to “tune out”. The capacity to dissociate is a survival mechanism. If the stress is too much and you cannot escape or fight, then the mind will protect us by tuning out. How our emotional circuits develop depends on our early environment.

Studies show that too much cortisol (stress hormone) interferes with learning and shrinks the hippocampus (our hard drive in the brain where we retain memories).

An all-time saying says that “It takes a tribe to raise a child” and in the past that could happen (grandparents, other relatives, or even friends and neighbors were available to care for the child) but nowadays that option is much scarce. When parents are stressed, they are unable to attune to the child, the more likely the child’s brain will not develop optimally.

What are we up against as coaches? There are the coping mechanisms – emotionally based, or emotional shutdown – not being aware of feelings (gut feeling) – a disconnection from the feelings and emotions because it was too painful to have feelings that are not validated by the environment (the world), so we learn to dissociate our gut feeling from the intellect and so the inner knowing is no longer available to us. That means we are blind from finding our internal compass, sense, meaning, and what is important to us.

When we shut down emotionally, we stop learning. We shut down to protect ourselves but for development, you need vulnerability (our capacity to be wounded). And nothing grows when it’s not vulnerable. (a tree doesn’t grow when it’s hard and thick, it grows when it’s soft and green and vulnerable, a crab cannot grow encased in a hard shell – it has to cast the shell out and become vulnerable). If a child or adult is to shut down emotionally especially from a negative experience, then the learning is much more difficult to happen – they keep repeating the same stuff over and over again and despite the negative consequences they learn nothing from it.

Vulnerability

We must find out what is going on for that person. Learning needs curiosity and that is vulnerable, you care about something. When your emotions are shut down – you do not care about anything – it is boring.

We also learn from trial and error. But to learn from that you must have the vulnerability to admit that something does not work and to be sad about it. When you defend against sadness, when nothing matters you’re not going to learn from negative experiences, you’re not going to try something again – you will say I don’t care and you just give up.

Dr. Brene Brown says that” Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment, it is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for”. And that includes learning about us.

People learn through attachment, when you are emotionally attached to somebody you want to emulate them, to be like them – learn from them.

What is required for the learning capacity to really express itself. We have 3 fundamental ways to respond to the environment:

Reptilian brain mode – freeze or conserve energy(defensive mode)

Mammalian mode – flight or fight – sympathetic nervous symptoms increased levels of cortisol and blood surge. (defensive mode)

Social Engagement mode – learning mode. (nerves that carry information from our viscera – internal organs and the nerves that regulate our breathing, heart rate).

The human body could be either in defensive mode or learning mode, not both.  To be in this mode we must feel emotionally safe. When we do not feel safe, we activate the other 2 ways of respond (defensive states) and we cannot learn.

How can we relate this to coaching?

As coaches, we must create a safe environment for the client with a focus on trust and intimacy that allows our clients to connect with their emotions and facilitate learning about themselves. That means to be fully present. Nothing outside of the interaction exists, thoughts may float through our brain, but they do not stay.

The practice of coaching presence is very much like practicing mindfulness – when the coach is aware of what happens inside and outside of the mind and body. To be aware of the sensations and allow them to pass through. When you use mindfulness, you focus on your breathing and the coach can be present, curious, patient, and quiet. The benefit of this open presence is that it creates the psychological safety needed to have an honest exploratory conversation with your client.

Also, that calm attuned parenting environment is what people offer themselves when they practice mindful awareness – they give themselves that attuned quiet attention.

Mindfulness practice could be employed alongside coaching to further develop and create awareness. Mindfulness regulates our internal states and can help us switch faster from the defensive modes.

Dr. Stephen Porges (2013) – “when fear is removed is empowering – if your nervous system is safe you do lots of interesting things, when your nervous system detects risk and fear, you can’t even sit in a room without being hypervigilant.”

Conclusion:

If we want our clients to learn or to gain clarity on what is available for them or about themselves, then our job as coaches is to prioritize the absolute emotional security of our clients. As a coach, we must open our hearts, gut, and brain with curiosity, care, and courage, for the client to feel safe and to trust us emotionally – to move forward.

Resources:

Antonio Damasio (1994): Descartes Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human Brain

Harvard Centre on the Developing Child (2014): Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain

Responding vs Reacting (2020) – ICA

Dr. Gabor Mate (2019): Gently Dusting off the Mind

Alice Miller (1979) – The drama of the gifted child: The search for the true self

Dr. Stephen Porges (2013)

Dr. Brene Brown – The power of vulnerability

Phillip Pullman (1995) – His Dark Materials: Northern Lights

The great courses – Practicing Mindfulness: An introduction to meditation

Original source:

elink.io | See Original

[naturecpw]

The Single Most Important Thinking Skill Nobody Taught You

Being flexible and weighing the options you ultimately won’t take is more beneficial than you may realize.

Thomas Oppong

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

George Bernard Shaw said that.

And Einstein also said, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”

Life is neither static nor unchanging, it’s fluid.

Nothing stays the same.

Elastic thinking (experts may call it cognitive flexibility) allows us to shift gears and think about something in more than one way.

Flexible thinkers consider a range of different possible consequences of their actions rather than only considering an optimistic view or only considering a pessimistic view.

A fixed mindset can sabotage your efforts to thrive in a changing environment.

Being flexible doesn’t always mean having to give in, or say yes.

What it means is you are looking at things from a different perspective first, and then making a choice that is best, this is flexibility. How Elastic Is Your Brain?

The ability to stretch beyond your core strengths when necessary and quickly rebound back to your core skills and discipline is a desirable trait.

Elasticity is essentially responsiveness to change in an ever-changing world.

To survive in an environment of constant stimulation and rapid change, elastic thinking is essential.

Elasticity is flexibility.

It’s the ability to adapt to new situations, break down complex tasks into bite-size chunks, improvise, and shift strategies to meet different types of challenges.

Flexibility gives the human brain the edge over computers is flexible thinking.

Elastic minds are people who reimagine new ways to solve existing problems and create tools make things better, easier, faster and smarter.

They can better balance long term and short term desires. When they’re in any situation, they can think about both long term and short term goals to make better decisions.

   The best innovators can quickly shift their perspective.

“Our new role as visionaries, decision makers, and strategic informants means we can’t rely on any rules. There are more stakeholders, more complicated products, and faster market cycles. In this environment, elasticity is more important than ever” explains Stuart Karten, the Founder and President of Los Angeles-based product innovation consultancy.

To thrive now and in the future, you have to be willing to rise above conventional mindsets and wisdom.

You become indispensable in the world by constantly outgrowing your existing roles.

The questions you asked today may not unravel the answers you seek tomorrow.

To stay competitive in life and business, you have to be open to new paradigms. You have to rely as much on your imagination as on logic.

   Elastic thinking is about stretching your mind and using ‘bottom up’ processing in the brain rather than the top down executive functions that drive analytical thinking. It encompasses a range of processes including, but not confined to, neophilia (an enthusiasm for novelty), schizotypy, imagination, idea generation and divergent thinking,” explains Dhruti Shah of BBC Capital.

Elastic thinking, in combination with rational or logical thought, and creative thinking will make you indispensable.

Elastic thinking endows us with the ability to solve novel problems and overcome the neural barriers that can impede us from looking beyond the status quo.

Solving problems and drawing better conclusions requires a blend of logical, analytical and elastic thinking.

“Logical analytical thinking is really good when you are trying to solve a problem you’ve seen before. You can use known methods and techniques to approach whatever issue you are dealing with. Elastic thinking is what you need when the circumstances change and you are dealing with something new. It’s not about following rules,” says Leonard Mlodinow, theoretical physicist, author of “Elastic: Flexible Thinking in a Time of Change.”

John F. Kennedy once said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

Flexible thinking means stretching what you know enough to make an educated guess that could be right (and if it’s not, that’s okay). The Elastic Mind of Leonardo

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvellous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day." — Einstein

Leonardo da Vinci maintained a passionate curiosity throughout life.

He simply wanted to know. He was an elastic thinker and a prolific creator.

His mind wandered merrily across the arts, sciences, engineering, and humanities.

More than 7,000 pages of Leonardo’s notebooks still exist.

His genius came from being wildly imaginative, quirkily curious and willfully observant.

His novelty was a product of his own will and effort, which makes his story inspiring for us and also more possible to emulate.

Da Vinci’s work paved the path for artists, scientists, and philosophers alike.

Most of the people we admire often have the gift of the elastic mind.

   Today, more than ever, we must embrace the elastic mindset.

In a stable world devoid of change, we can solve problems by applying the same old techniques, principles, and rules.

But the age of unprecedented technological change constantly challenges us to find new solutions.

Do you give in when faced with a problem you have not seen before, or are you driven by the determination to achieve?

How strongly are you driven to reach that “light” at the end of the tunnel?

Solving problems and drawing better conclusions within an existing framework requires a blend of analytical and elastic thinking.

In the right combination with other traits, elastic thinking is a crucial predictor of total well-being.

“Novelty-seeking is one of the traits that keeps you healthy and happy and fosters personality growth as you age,” says C. Robert Cloninger, a psychiatrist. How to Develop an Agile Mind

The good news is flexible thinking skills can be taught.

For those wishing to tap into elastic thinking, Mlodinow suggests carving out time for daydreaming, talking to people outside your social circle, absorbing great art out of your comfort zone, listening to ideas or concepts you actively disagree with before disregarding them.

Always try to look at everything from more than one angle.

Change the context or your environment and you’ll feel your mind shift.

Take a walk. Take a coffee break.

Exercise offers another great mental boost.

The more you can challenge yourself to be spontaneous and allow for some new experiences, the easier it will be to integrate flexibility into your everyday life!

Mental flexibility is aided by novelty, and that contributes to brain growth and development throughout a lifetime.

The next time you encounter the stress of change, remember that you can adapt to thrive and become indispensable in the ever-changing world.

Remember, flexibility is a choice and with practice, you will be making moves you never thought possible.

Thomas Oppong is the founder of AllTopStartups and writes on science-based answers to problems in life about creativity, productivity, and self-improvement.

This post originally appeared on Thomas Oppong and was published December 13, 2018.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-single-most-important-thinking-skill-nobody-taught-you?utm_source=pocket-newtab

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[seven-dragons]

Us and Them

Merry Christmas @bisexualcharliedavis from MEEEEEEE your @blakesecretsanta2019.  I have had so much fun writing this, I hope you enjoy it.  I am not good with time zones so to ensure that you received this on December 24, I scheduled it to post on July 20, 2013.

-~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~ -~-~

The sky was orange and would fade to a dark purple soon.  It never turned completely black anymore, but then it never turned completely light either.  Mattie perceived from the color change that it was time to light a fire to try and get a small degree of warmth from the bitter night to come.  She surveyed her domain, the cavernous ruins of a pink brick building.  It suited her; pink always was her color. In the rubble outside ALL RAT ITTER was painted in large red letters that were buckling inwards along with the rest of the wall. Inside items were stacked in neat piles for future use: things that burned, things that shouldn't burn but did anyway, things that might be food, makeshift medical supplies, and anything that could be used or traded.  Mattie poked through one of the piles for a dry matchbook and some wood before taking it outside.  Her first night alone there she lit a fire inside and nearly suffocated herself.  Now she knew better.

Once the fire sputtered to life she retreated back into the cave, looking for a tin of food that did not look too compromised.  She warily eyed a can in the pile that said "Spratt's Cat Food" and decided she wasn't that desperate yet.  A can of beans would do.  She sat down by the fire and formulated a plan for tomorrow.  She wanted to make her rounds of the neighborhood to look in on the sick and injured, but she hadn't seen Charlie in two days and she was running out of food.  She wondered where Charlie was.  It had not occurred to her to miss him until now since she hadn’t wanted him there in the first place.  But when he was there she could pass the long, cold evenings talking to him and even if it wasn’t much different than talking to herself, it gave the illusion of companionship the same way one would talk to a dog or a house plant.

Charlie came around for the first time a few weeks after she had staked out the pile of pink bricks as her own.  He would stand a few meters away and just stare, saying nothing. At first she thought he had become yet another looter or a brute looking for sex and she pummeled him with rocks and debris, screaming until he ran off.  This went on every afternoon for three days.  On the fourth she hurled a sharp stick at him and it struck true.  She could see the trickle of blood as he scampered off behind a burned out car, taking the stick with him.  She realized right away that she had made a fatal error, her foe now had a weapon.  The next day he returned carrying the stick, now bloody with the two dead rabbits he had speared with it. They had a feast, and that night she tended to the wounds she had made.  He came back every day after that, sometimes with dead vermin, sometimes with wood or scavenged canned goods.  Eventually Mattie let him make camp there, sharing her pile of rags that she would stack up next to the fire in an effort to keep the freezing night at bay.  He never asked her for more than she could give him.  In fact he never asked for anything at all.

Charlie was mute.  Mattie did not know if this was from the trauma of recent years or from a head injury, but the smart, officious man she dimly remembered from another lifetime had been replaced by a silent and scared boy who kept to the shadows.  Sometimes he had nightmares and would howl in the darkness.  Through the tears the words would almost form, but he would always recover and be silent again.

On the day the world ended the sky turned blood red and a burning wind blew for days.  Much of what was left after the initial explosion caught on fire in the aftermath.  Then the sky grew dark and the sun ceased to be and the temperatures dropped to near freezing and stayed that way.  Those who didn’t die in the first blast perished soon after from poisoned air and foul water. Their limbs shriveled and they went blind and all manner of other horrors.  Mattie was one of the lucky ones, if slowly starving to death alone made one lucky.  She had been in the basement of the hospital looking for a patient file and was shielded by several meters of cement and earth.  She stayed there for weeks with the rest of the hospital staff waiting for help to arrive.  When the dead outnumbered the living and the doctors started killing their remaining patients, she left. She did not feel bad about looting the hospital of medical supplies, it was clear they were no longer being put to good use anyhow.  

Her first instinct was to head for home.  She wanted to find Lucien and Jean and help them if they were still alive.  Together they might make it to Melbourne and find shelter with her father.  She spent hours wandering the fields scoured of all civilization in the area she thought the Blake house must be in.  She could not recognize the streets let alone individual structures.  There weren't even bodies to bury.  With no news of the outside world there was no way to know if her parents had suffered the same fate as most of Ballarat.  Mattie eventually learned  that Melbourne had likely been ground zero and the world she knew was truly gone.  For the first time in her entire life Mattie had no one.

Humans are essentially tribal creatures and in a catastrophe like this one they will naturally band together for safety and support.  At least that was what Mattie always assumed would happen.  Instead the survivors fractured and turned on one another, fighting for food, clean water, territory, or sex.  Some were just out for blood for the sheer thrill of it. In those early days after leaving the hospital Mattie traveled from camp to camp doing her best to cure the ill or comfort the dying.  Eventually trying to eat and stay safe while on the move proved too much for her and she decided she needed a camp of her own.  The brewery had been guarded by a burly farmer with a shotgun who kept everyone at a distance.  He allowed her to come in and tend to his wounded leg after he was bit by a dog.  On one of her rounds she saw the wound had become septic.  All she had to do was wait him out.  

It was several months before the random acts of violence and deprivation coalesced into a common cause.  She first became aware of it when she was making her rounds among the twisted metal facades of Lydiard Street.  Propped up against the door of the Colonists Club, the bloated corpse of Patrick Tynneman was holding a sign painted in blood that said “THEM.”  Gradually the unhinged and predatory survivors of Ballarat had turned their rage on the old guard, the belligerent institutional powers who picked a fight with a bunch of strangers thousands of miles away and lost.  Like any good ideological force the enemy took the form of whoever suited the mob at the moment.  The rich were Them, as were clergy, politicians and business owners, romantic rivals and unkind spouses. Mattie once saw a gang of women beating a man with sticks, vengeance for some marital transgression that they would have never spoken of until now let alone avenged.  Mattie was keenly aware that she was a Them.  It was no secret who her father was or that he was one of the most vocal supporters of the war.  She believed that being out in the city helping others had bought her safety.  People needed her and fortunately these days people had short memories.

Charlie was also Them.  She worried that someone would come after him but it was clear to even the most hardened class warrior that he was harmless.  Mattie didn’t know where he had been in the months before they were reunited or how he survived, but he gave off the air of someone too benign to bother with.  Without his uniform and condescending grimace maybe they just didn’t recognize him.  Mattie wondered if his muteness came from the burden of being Them.  Mattie was a child of privilege but had been open minded and flexible in new situations.  Before the war she chose to work hard and to make that work benefit the poor and hopeless.  Charlie believed in institutions.  He was a company man who honored thy father and mother.  Now, his father and mother were dead and his company had blown the world to bits.  Maybe Charlie was mute because he was too embarrassed to speak.

Mattie threw the leg of a chair on the fire and started carrying her rags to the edge of the cave.  It would be another cold, sleepless night without Charlie.  She hoped he was ok.  If not, she would carry on just the same.  She wondered why she kept going.  She really couldn’t heal anyone with her dwindling medical supplies, it was mostly just for show.  Mattie doubted anyone in the town had much time left.  If they survived the radiation and the fires and the gangs of marauders, disease and starvation would still get them in the end.  Mattie would be no exception.  Eventually someone stronger than her would chase her out of her camp or she’d run out of food.  When the former resident of the pink brick cave had died she found a single shell loaded in his shotgun and thought she could make a quick end of things. But each day she kept trying to survive and tended to the ill and shivered through the nights in hope of the opportunity to suffer again tomorrow.  She supposed someone had to make it long enough to start the world again.

Morning dawned a dark orange and with no sign of Charlie.  Mattie decided to put off scavenging for one more day and make her rounds.  On the way home she would check some of the buildings on the outskirts of town for drinkable water.  Boilers and cisterns were a treasure if no one had found them yet, and her brewery had no shortage of barrels.  A wind had kicked up, slightly less icy than past days, as she tread quietly down Lydiard Street. It was one of the few streets that could still be recognized despite the ruins.  At the orphanage the few surviving children were being cared for by the former residents of the Bad Girls Home.  Mattie thought it an unlikely alliance and suspected some of the teenage girls were serving penance for the babies they had been forced to give away.  She reviewed their food stocks and gave nutritional advice as best she could.  

Old blind Cec was stationed by the door of the Colonists Club.  The club had become a refuge for bachelors who were too old to fend for themselves.  Cec made it a point to stand guard ever since they found Patrick Tynneman and no one ever dared challenge him, despite his obvious infirmities.  She was not sure whether that was out of respect for who he was before the end or because it was rumored that he knew where all the club’s liquor was hidden.  Possibly a little of both.  Mattie left him with her last can of potted ham and a kiss on the cheek.

Down at the College of the Arts, Mattie tended to the burns of Elaine Greenslade who had taken to setting herself on fire on a weekly basis to protest war, and nuclear weapons, and Them, and violence against Them, and whatever else was on her mind.  She was one of many who had found refuge in madness, but at least Elaine had the decency to only hurt herself.  Fortunately the College’s ample supply of turpentine and other flammables was looted before any of the students could organize their own survival let alone a political protest.  Between the bitter cold and the wind and the lack of kindling Elaine rarely managed to do more than singe her hair.  By way of payment Elaine pressed a small picture of a star into Mattie’s hand, rendered in soot and blue pigment on a scrap of canvas salvaged from inside the building.  Mattie thanked her politely and shoved the picture into her pocket.  She thought but did not say that she could always add it to the kindling pile back at the cave.

On the way home she saw a stray dog napping behind a dead shrub and thought of Charlie.  She wondered if they would ever have enough food to feed a dog instead of hunting it.  She wondered if Charlie might like a pet.  They could howl together in the night.  Mattie sighed.  She was developing a soft spot for the poor fool and people these days could not afford to get attached.  The afternoon was more profitable than she had hoped.  She found an abandoned house that was barely touched.  There was no water but she found some bedding and tools which she piled up into a big bundle on top of some garish curtains.  Dragging those curtains a few kilometers would only improve them, she thought, so she headed home.  She made a mental note to go back and search the decaying car in the driveway for oil and petrol in the morning.

Despite having been gone hours it was still light out when she arrived back at the brewery, dragging her prizes behind her.  To her surprise Charlie was standing at the entrance to the cave, in front of the ITTER sign.  His face was contorted into a big smile and Mattie realized that it was before the end of the world that she last saw anyone smile or heard laughter.  He was holding a dead pine sapling and seemed eager to go inside.  Mattie had never said he couldn’t but he always waited nervously for permission.  She had tried to explain to him several times that he was welcome but he never seem to understand.  Now he gestured with excitement towards the cave, waving his pine tree around as he did so.  The commotion caused yellow needles to scatter with each shake.  Mattie drew closer and it was clear that he had been in a fight.  He had a black eye and his lip was split.

“Been in the wars again, have you?”

Charlie looked at the ground sheepishly.

“No worries, I’ll patch you up. Wait until you see the blanket I found for us.”

Mattie walked inside dragging her bundle behind her but Charlie did not follow.  Instead he planted the pine sapling in the rubble, carefully arranging some loose bricks to hold it upright.  He reached into his pocket and opened a tattered half of a handkerchief.  In the handkerchief were a number of trinkets that he affixed carefully to what remained of the tree: a key, some shiny wire, a single gold earring, other scraps she couldn’t recognize.  Mattie wondered if he had finally lost what little mind he had left.  Watching him, Mattie recalled the subtle changes she had noticed outside lately and things began to make sense.  The air was still cold but not as bitter as usual.  The dark orange days seemed longer.  She tried to remember the day before the world ended and wondered what month it was.  Suddenly it all made sense.  It was high summer, and summer meant Christmas.  

Tears welled up in Mattie’s eyes as Charlie worked intently on his masterpiece, glancing up every now and then for approval.  It occurred to Mattie that maybe even now, at the end of the world, two Thems made an Us.  Her hand slipped absentmindedly into her pocket and she felt the edge of the canvas Elaine had given her.  Very carefully she smoothed out the little forlorn star and placed it on the tree.  Maybe things were not so bad after all.

[goldstonegolem64]

Ok I know ive post this three time now but the first post was just a mess and the second was and still a mess that didn’t save any of my edits. So this one as all of my edits.  Ok I have been having this though bouncing around in may head for about a few days now after watching She-ra for the first time and had the though how can I add my own flair to it. So I had this idea for another Fan-Fic called  Theta Squad. I might write this after I Finish hope return as just another one of my side projects I didn’t I'll think about now onto the plot and Main cast

Plot

Are story begins after the battle that killed The Kings of the Kingdom of Snow Force Captain Durge waited at a meet up for the rest of his squad after they were separated  . Only to find out that only five member of his squad  survived.Them being His son Jace, Blaze a pyromanice, The team Medic Quirrel, A sniper Named Millie, and a Shock troop named Zote. An after seeing his remaining troops loss of morale and the will to fight .Durge decide take his remaining troop and Leave the horde.Three years later of living/ Hiding in the Kingdom Plumeria .War  came knocking at their door again. This caused Durge and the other to rejoin the war but this time to work under Brightmoon  .Now  Theta Squad must now prove their loyalty to the Rebellion ,help train the new She-ra , Face their past and Save as many people from the horde’s control as possible 

Characters

 Durge

Age 45

Height: 6′.3″

Race Lizard man

Ability and traits   Poisonous bite, Razor Claws. Super human strength, And able to breath under water for a hours

Looks; Purple and gray scales and Yellow eyes.

Durge was a young mercenary when the Horde landed in the fright Zone. At first his original mercenary tried to fight off the Horde not for money but for the fear that the horde was a danger to the world. Sadly they failed and Durge was the only one who survived the fight and was given a choose by Hordak either die here or join him and serve as his new Force Captain. He choose to join and was given commanded of Theta Squad a strike team made to eliminate any problem that could stop the horde. He enjoyed doing this killing the horde;s enemies and taking more territories. But that changed when a Mission to eliminate a Rebellion Stronghold but the intel was wrong and Theta squad destroy a Village of innocent people . As he looked around the destroyed Village the cry of a child could be heard . Durge followed the crying and found a small Magicat child crying for his mom or his father. This put into perspective how many children he had orphan and Some what . To make up for this He took the boy and named his Jace and promised him that he would protect the boy and His squad no matter what.

Jace

Age 23

Height 5′.8″ 

Race Magicat .

Abilities and traits: Jace is a very dexterous, agile and flexible. He can climb up any object with relative ease, natural night vision and heightened sense of hearing, sight and smell  

Looks: Black furry with orange and white patches on it , Bright green eyes and  missing half of his tail and sharp claws 

Jace was born into the horde and into theta Squad and that’s all he ever knew. An he was fine with that he had brothers and Sister that cared for him and a father that loved him. But there was always some thing that nagged at the back of his mind. An that was what was he. He knew he was a Magicat but what did that means were there anymore of his kind or was out there and this haunted him for years. He tried to look up his race on the horde Date base and found nothing about his people. This bothered  Jace but didn't stop him from look for more of his kind  

Blaze.

Age 22

Height: 5′.7″

Race: Etherian 

Abilities and traits: pyrokinesis,,Fire breathing, Fire immunity and mix martial arts

Look : Dark skin with short orange and red hair that catches fire when angered purple eyes 

 Blaze was given to the horde by the kingdom of Flame along with a few hundred other kids from the kingdom as away to keep the Horde from invading them. This caused Blaze to believe that all royal were nothing more then spineless cowards that only cared about their position of power. An She devoted her life to fighting against the Rebels of bright moon.She was put in to Theta squad do to her expert fighting skills and hated for Royalty . But that all change after the Mission to eliminate the Rulers of the Kingdom of snow. She was left to rethink about her enter purpose in life.  

Quirrel 

Age: 19

Height: 5′.2

Race: Forest elf 

Abilities and traits Healing support and protection magic , flight and medical knowledge

looks: Dark pick skin pointed ears and yellow eyes  wings that are four feet each

Quirrel is was only three when the horde attacked his Village and he was taken from his home and was force to serve the horde and when his magic finally manifested itself. He was place upper Shadow weavers train and was Basically tortured into learning all sort of Magic .This caused Quirrel to become a timid and scared man who was obedient to shadow weaver . But after years of learning under shadow weaver the only kinds of magic he could learn were healing Defensive and support. This infuriated her to a point so she just sent him off to work with medical staff and was later transferred to Theta. When he first join the team he was scared that they would be treated the same way Shadow weaver did. But that was not the case when a teammate named Millie became his first real friend and he would do anything to protect her

Zote 

Age: 27

Height 6′.10″

Tail length. Four feet  

Race: Scorpioni 

Abilities and traits Super strength, paralyzing poison , and strong Pincers

Looks peach skin ,green carapace and lite brown hair and silver eyes

Zote join the horde originally to try and find princess Scorpia and bring her to a rebel cell of the scorpioni people but sadly he was put into Theta Squad. Which had being him to be sent from place to place eliminating threats to the horde. He didn’t like this job but he started to like the people around him and he started to feel like he was part of a family again. Something he hadn't  felt in a long time . But after the Kingdom of Snow Mission went South and majority of Theta Squad gone. Zote decides to protect what was left of his team with his life 

Millie

Age: 25

Height 5′ .4″

Race; Human

Abilities and traits. None

Looks: Peach shin ,black curly hair and green eyes 

Millie was raised by the horde like most people. But unlike most people the indoctrination didn’t work on her seeing as she tended to Zone out during those moments. But she still fought for them not for the glory but for the fun of it . She was placed in theta Company do to her deadly precision and accuracy on the battlefield. She in joyed working in Theta squad  and made friends with Squad mate Quirrel. She was happy with to be apart of the team but she was slowly getting board with the horde and was going to leave with Quirrel .But after the Snow mission she decide to stay with the rest of the squad to make a better life no matter what it was

[ampond52]

Doctor Who Canon and The Retroactive Continuity Paradox.

Rule 1: There is no such thing as canon in Doctor Who. 

The best way I can explain this is by comparing it to Schrödinger’s Cat; everything is both canon and not canon until it is officially mentioned in the actual show, and even then it’s still up for debate. The show allows itself to create exit strategies and potential reasons for why a “rule” has changed. It allows viewers to come up with their own reasons as to why the Doctor doesn’t remember this or; why humans don’t know about the many times aliens have invaded earth and London, specifically. It creates answers within episodes that can be applied throughout the series, and where answers aren’t inherently given they can be found. Nothing is every really off-the-table, there is no rulebook to follow (probably because the Doctor, through it into a supernova).

However, lots of people like to point out the shows, so-called, “retcons”, which actually is a word created from the term, retroactive continuity, where the writers/characters appear too have completely forgotten, or chosen to dismiss things that have previously happened or been mentioned. This is basically a “literary device” that allows creators to change/evolve a previously established narrative. This can involve inventing parallel universes for characters to live out alternate lives; reintroducing a character who was previously thought to be dead or just exploring plot lines that would otherwise be in conflict with the work. The most interesting thing about these retcon’s are how often they truly occur and how often fans are happy to dismiss them. 

In the Whoniverse the writer, Russell T Davies, takes it to a whole new level, by adding an actual drug into the universe called Retcon, an amnesia inducing pill that allows characters to forget any number of things. It’s what makes Doctor Who specifically such an interesting case in terms of retroactive continuity. The creators never allow anything to be truly retconned (obviously they can’t actually time travel and change the shows history) but at the same time the audience is expected to accept retcons and is even encouraged to find solutions which make them acceptable. Sometimes the creators introduce their own solutions, i.e. Torchwood literally retconning everyone to forget something or taking advantage of previous gaps in established lore to allow for a new cycle of regenerations. 

The one thing I can say is that the show never really retcons anything because everything ends up being a retcon where they constantly are retroactively adding in lore that we ‘weren’t aware of’ previously; and when everything is retconned, then nothing is. It is one of the many ways the show allow itself to be constantly refreshed, clever and innovative in its own ability to stay open and flexible to change on the previously established. 

As long time fans of the show will know, originally the Doctor was never even supposed to regenerate, the concept was added in so that William Hartnell could leave the show. At the time, he was working to an exhausting schedule as he slowly became more and more unwell. The producers, knowing of his illness, invented regeneration to allow the show to continue without any of the original cast (except, perhaps the TARDIS).

Speaking of the TARDIS, that’s a very interesting potential ‘retcon’ that no one ever mentions. Back in the 60s Hartnell suggests that the TARDIS is only a machine, a very advanced machine, but alas only a machine. In The Edge of Destruction, the crew (gang, team or Fam, if you prefer) discover that this very advanced machine has created clues to warn them of a danger threatening to destroy it. 

DOCTOR: It? It? What do you mean? My machine can't think. BARBARA: You say it has a built-in defence mechanism? DOCTOR: Yes, it has. BARBARA: Well that's where we've been wrong. Originally, the machine wasn't at fault, we were. And it's been trying to tell us so ever since. IAN: A machine that can think for itself? BARBARA: Yes. IAN: Is that feasible, Doctor? DOCTOR: Oh, think not as you or I do, but it must be able to think as a machine. You see, it has a bank of computers.

This of course suggests the TARDIS is indeed and incredible machine with brilliant capabilities but it is not a living thing with thoughts and feelings, as later suggested, however, this could also be attributed to the Doctor not yet knowing the full extent of the TARDIS, its abilities, its creation. To him at this point in time it may just be a ship that can travel through time and space. It could also be that the Doctor is lying to Ian and Barbara about the ships true origins and capabilities because he is weary of them and probably believes they will not understand its true nature. Or it could all actually be attributed to the fact that the creators never truly meant for this incredibly advanced fictional machine to become anything more than an incredibly advanced fictional machine. This speculation is what allows all of these answers to be essentially all true at once, until perhaps, we are given a true explanation. 

This is only a small example of how Doctor Who is a show built entirely on retroactive continuity, and never being able to truly know whether the cat is dead or alive until you open the box.

Retroactive Rule 1: There is such thing as canon in Doctor Who but it is constantly changing and evolving from what it originally was, so much so that, the canon is constantly paradoxical and somehow no longer canon. 

[blackasteriia]

5, 6 + 14? Thank you!

Super Duper Deep Character Questions 

||First question is shown but the rest is under the cut because it’s a doozy||

5. 

Xion’s relationship to her own body is a fundamental part of her character. How she developed physically coincides with how she developed mentally. It’s a tricky process to make a completely new human from scratch. Still, there is nothing standard or normal about Xion. She is an outlier and should not be counted. There is nothing like Xion. There will never again be anything like Xion. She is the sole survivor of the original replica program. Vexen learned from her design and made fundamental changes to the designs of his later replicas. It would be almost impossible to replicate the success of Xion. More than that, she is far beyond Vexen’s intention for his pet project. Not even her creator knows what she is, much less herself. In terms of her biology, Xion is in uncharted waters. 

Keep in mind, that at one point in her life, Xion did not have internal organs. She didn’t have a heart or blood. She didn’t need to eat because she didn’t have a stomach to digest food. Xion did not have a brain, a spinal column, eyes, or any facial features. She was a mash of complex magic squished together into a humanoid shape with a black coat draped over it. No. i did as it was told because it had no personality, identity, desires, hopes, or dreams. It did not sleep, it did not think. If it remained in a complete vacuum it would have stayed like that. Nonetheless, Xion was nothing but mass amounts of raw material waiting to be shaped. In her first few days, Xion was as malleable as clay.  Collision with the outside world changed No. i. It received a name, chose a gender expression, began to shape a personality that reacted to situations and conversations. 

Xion’s physiology and anatomy are shaped by her psychology. How Xion understands and views herself influences how she appears to others. There are multiple layers to this process. To hide No. i in plain sight, Vexen designed it with a glamor. This glamor built on the memories and perceptions of others. Instead of a faceless humanoid, an individual that saw Xion projected their feelings onto it. Thus, they saw the replica as an old friend, or a hooded girl.

 For Xion, this glamor was unconscious. Despite her limited awareness she still interacted with it. As the personality, Xion, arose, so did perceptions of herself. Self-conception is built on how we compare to others. People have eyes, mouths, faces, and unique appearances. Xion understood that she should have those things too. So, what does she look like? By then Roxas had already projected his memories of Kairi onto her. Kairi was an easily found prototype that her new friend liked and that met her own choice of gender. Xion put her own spin on it and we end-up with a dark haired young girl. Xion understands that the reason she looks like Kairi is because Roxas wanted her to. 

By choosing a gender, an appearance, and placing herself in relationship to others, Xion took the first steps of defining who she is. She is no longer an amorphous, malleable object that reacts to the whims of the people around it. No. i now defines herself as Xion. She is not just Roxas’ memories of Kairi, or just the kid hanging around Axel-- she is Xion.  What made Xion is her perception of herself and the influence of others on her. Larxene is a girl, she behaves in a more feminine manner than the masculine men of the Organization. Xion can mimic that behavior. This self-concept, her literal mind learning about people and things, is what physically made her. She needs to eat, so she has a stomach and mouth now. She sleeps, and when you sleep you dream, and you need a brain to dream. The blueprints for these changes were received from the impression of Sora’s memory. In this way Xion shifted towards human. She remembers the first time she bled red blood. She recalls what it was like to feel the shift of fragile, smooth skin over a skeleton of bone and sinew. Xion has black hair and black eyes, because she wanted those things. 

As Xion ages her body won’t be as flexible as it was at her inception. Initially her self-concept and identity was malleable, constantly shifting. In a conversation with Xaldin she’s serious and polite. Talking with Axel we see flashes of humor, curiosity, and sass. As Xion learns who she is and decides who she will be, her physical form becomes set. She ages on the time frame she thinks she should. Eventually the process won’t be conscious at all. Xion won’t look like but a distant relative of Kairi as an adult. She’ll be tall but lean, with dark hair, and a pleasant smile. Because that’s the kind of person she wants to be. Her body is all human, bone, flesh, blood, but the magic of her origin remains, interwoven with delicate complexities. So that the blood cells is indistinguishable from that old power. No. i never died or vanished, it changed and became something new. Xion carries in her all of the experiences, memories, traumas, dreams, and hopes, of a very young child learning who she is. 

In this way I can say that Xion is indistinguishable from the body she inhabits. Any discord between her and herself is caused by questions posed from the outside. Is she really human? Does she belong? Is she broken? Those little doubts, if allowed to fester, could have created something completely different than what we see. Something darker, more amorphous, sinister, and cruel. Xion  could become the monster they labeled her. Settling these questions is part of growing-up though. They’re also why Xion has to learn how to take care of herself. Xion has nightmares, so she refuses to sleep. She’s been abandoned by the adults in her life, so she has a terrible eating schedule, few self-care skills, and absurd anxiety. She works-out and trains so she won’t be killed in the next fight. She reacts to her own blood, broken bones, and bruises like they don’t matter. She doesn’t care about her injuries because she doesn’t value her own body because she doesn’t value herself. 

Xion will never be any one thing. Never quite human, never quite replica, never quite Sora, or Axel, or Roxas, or Kairi. She’s all of those things combined into something more than the sum of its parts. Her body is intrinsic to her character and her sense of self, because all of those things are what make her Xion. Take away any one variable and you’ll find someone completely different. Nonetheless, her body carries many of the same traits she does: adaptable, tough, and strong. 

6.

Vexen didn’t hesitate to give his creation a suitable intellect. He reasoned that an autonomous weapon must be able to function independent in combat. Therefore, it must be able to learn. Moreover, it must learn fast. No. i had to respond to the rapid developments of the battle field. It must be able to make split second decisions that take into account hundreds of variables. The cost of failure is death. Furthermore, it must blend into the Organization. Therefore, it should be obedient and capable of conversation. Natural human social interaction requires as many variables, calculated just as quickly, as combat. It has to interpret emotions, tone, humor, sarcasm, and the many layers of language. It has to understand orders. It has to ask questions to clarify confusing, confounding, or uncertain details. It has to respond to developments and shift goals to meet mission parameters. Vexen didn’t just design No. i to be smart. He designed No. i to learn. 

And learn Xion did. The second she woke-up her situation was in constant flux. Her situation changed, she joined the Organization, and went on her first mission. She was in conversation with her superiors and learning the ropes of her job. Xion spoke rarely but never stopped listening. She watched the Organization members interact. She saw how emotions shifted and changed on their faces. She learned what contexts they showed which emotions. How they posed their bodies or moved. She observed their magic and their combat skills. Xion was curious and she developed questions-- as Vexen designed. These small hypotheses were proven or disproven, leading to more questions. She began to ask those questions and learned sometimes she received answers from the Organization members. This lead to her engaging more with the Organization members. The more she engaged, the more she learned, and the more she learned, the more she responded to the information. 

Within a month Xion had far exceeded Vexen’s exceptions for her. She had a gender, she had a personality, she had friends, and she had wants, needs, and desires. She considered herself an independent and unique person who could compare herself other people. She was setting her own goals. Those clever little questions were already questioning her superiors. Xion learned a little too well and was a little too smart. 

In truth, Xion isn’t an astounding intellect. She’s not Einstein, blow you away this person is so smart. She’s highly intelligent but more than that: she’s curious. She has an almost devouring need to learn. She is constantly observing, asking questions, testing theories, and repeating. She wants to know the purpose of things. How they work and why. This drive goes beyond the design of No. i too. It did not take long for Xion to figure out that knowledge is power. The more she knows, the more leverage she has. It’s the difference between calling Xigbar on a lie or letting it slip. It’s knowing when Saix is sending her into impossible odds or walking blind into a trap. It���s seeing Xemnas for what he is or falling victim to his manipulation. When Xion has free time she spends it learning. She teaches herself how to read. She learns science to understand her world. Math to understand the science. Language and social studies to understand people. All of that is power and since her inception all Xion has been doing is scrabbling for scraps of it. To say the Radiant Garden library is like a treasure trove is an understatement. 

In terms of how she learns, it’s fairly simple. Xion learns by interaction. She is a kinesthetic learner. She can listen and she can read. However, give her a toaster oven and she’ll have it dissected in the hour. No, she cannot put it back together but that’s the fun part. How does this particular thing respond under this condition? What about this condition? Xion is a natural scientist for this reason. She’s a logical kid. She thinks in cause and effect. She looks for the variables and wants to sort out her own bias from it. She approaches people like this too, like they’re puzzles to be solved. It’s alright to be told about things but it’s even better to find out. This is also why she would never thrive in a traditional school setting. To teach Xion you give her a pile of books, some starting questions, a project, and then come back in a couple hours to check on her. 

Hopefully, nothing is blown-up. 

14.

At the end of KH3, Xion has one friend and it is Roxas. Roxas is her best friend, he is her brother. There is no one in this universe she cares about, loves, or adores more. Roxas never hesitated in defending, helping, and caring for Xion. Xion would do anything to protect him. These are two kids who grew-up together. All they had were each other. This is a friendship forged in the fires of combat. Roxas and Xion were given dangerous, impossible, and difficult missions with absurdly high-stakes. If they did not trust each other they would fail that mission or worse, die. Xion loved sitting on the clock tower, capturing a few minutes of peace and fun. The things the kids down below were always in surplus of. To Xion, her relationship with Roxas is her most important and influencing one. 

Except, it was never that clean-cut. Xion and Roxas were under extreme pressure. A weight so heavy it’d crush adults. This is a fact: all the other Organization members, in their twenties, thirties, forties, had failed to rebel against the organization. Xion and Roxas were on the bottom of an impressive dog pile with days of experience. They were told nothing but lies. They were given weapons and thrown at an enemy. These children were lied to, manipulated, verbally and physically abused. They were emotionally and physically neglected. They were child soldiers and slaves, to be treated like toys: thrown around, broken, fixed, and discarded as needed. Xemnas had an agenda and friendship was not in it. Roxas and Xion were deliberately manipulated against each other in a conscious, calculated plot. Every single adult in their life did not believe the two could coexist. The story ends when Xion and Roxas mortally wound each other. In seven days, Roxas fades into Sora and Xion has forgotten her own name. 

Xion has no friends. She never had any friends. For a time she called Axel her friend. That was before he betrayed her --twice-- then became complicit in an attempt to murder her and Roxas. She considered Roxas her friend, but they were both too young to understand what that meant. Underneath the abusive, oppressive regime of the Organization, there was no way they could learn. Riku told her to kill herself so he could have his real friend back: Sora. Xion is a lonely, estranged, and haggard little girl who has been fighting the universe for the rights to life. She doesn’t fight for happiness, or hope, or hearts, or friendship or whatever Sora is wibbling about. Xion is fighting to survive. Friendship and fulfilled relationships are too high on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for her. Even if she had the chance to make friends, she wouldn’t know how. Enslaved child soldiers turned feral child aren’t blessed with social skills. She is awkward, weird, antisocial, paranoid, and ignorant of basic ‘normal’ human interaction. 

After all Xion was in the Keyblade Graveyard to kill Xemnas, Saïx, and the people who’d been hunting her for three years. Then, she’s onto the next thing, whatever vague, strange, impression of a threat is left. Except she needs more leverage, more power, more security. So, she goes to Radiant Gardens and she learns how to read. Because knowledge is power and she is in need of both. It is in this space, where she is receiving consistent food, water, and shelter. Where she is no longer being threatened, abused, or is in active danger, that Xion can explore ‘friendship.’ 

All of Xion’s first relationships are platonic. She can reconnect with Roxas and Lea in a new light. She can meet new people and interact with them in a different context. For the first time Xion can see how real humans talk and behave. Learn what it’s like to have a relationship without abuse. In most verses Xion inevitably finds some sort of parental figure. This parental figure is always key to her forming a secure base by which she can explore and observe the world. Xion really does have to learn how to people. She has to transition from child soldier to a regular kid. That is not a short or easy journey to make. Nonetheless, Xion is adaptable and smart. Furthermore, in an ideal scenario, she is extroverted, engaging, and witty. Letting the more fun, relaxed, and friendly sides of her natural personality shine reveals a very gregarious young girl. Xion initially has trouble making friends but it won’t take her long to reverse that pattern completely. She’ll never be on Sora’s level, but she won’t have trouble maintaining social connection.