#human zoo the band

[wealth-and-hellness-daily]

Leaving Mother Earth on A Space Ship

Song:Elon Musk

Words:133-139/195

[rimmer-ish]

Any Human Zoo the band fans on tumblr?

[anovertureinyellow]

Top 0.5% Human Zoo listener 💪💪💪💪

[mister-fisch]

I am sorry for the saxophone noises originating from my room.

[frogskeleton222]

I’ve come to the realisation that Jonathan Sims (The real guy) and Wook Elvis from Human Zoo might be the same guy

[colorwavejamz]

Rainbow Albums that I love to look at and listen to!

[dailywillwood]

[the-count-and-the-raven]

Using Will’s ig story reposts as a way to tell you tumblr ppl to go listen to Human Zoo their stuff is super cool 🫵

Extra propaganda if you need more reasons: (see under cut)

- they have 2 songs made with Will (“Aphrodite, your electric sexiness” and “Wealth & Hellness) both fucking amazing songs (but I’m assuming most ppl seeing this have probably already listened to both at least a little bit)

- become rachel

- they’re very fun & silly ppl look here

- and many more reasons i can’t think of rn bc I’m eepy

Are there any HZ listeners on tumblr bc if so I’ve seen nothing from yall. Rachel please reblog / reply (/nf)

[clownratwizardhat]

Human zoo have never made a flop omg. I love this band more and more everytime I listen to all their stuff. Check. Them. Out.

[fictionkinfessions]

i know it's a john cruelty shift when i get the random urge to listen to human zoo and ajj, and i know it's a venom snake shift when i get the random urge to listen to duran duran and nirvana. it's kind of a funny duality.

-john cruelty/venom snake (#🐟🧬🔫)

w

[absolute-lithops-effecting]

Y'all need to watch this fucking video i am going insane i did not fucking expect this

[wealth-and-hellness-daily]

Like a hungry hound howlin' at the moon

Words:116-123

Song:Serial Killer

[carrioncoyote]

Coworker: I was at the Wonder Bar last weekend and this weird band was playing. And then this even weirder guy in a hoodie randomly crawled up on the stage and started screaming into the mic. It was nuts. Here's a video I took, watch, lmaoooo

Me: ..... OMFG WILL??

Coworker: Wait, you know him?!?!

Me: Not personally but I love his music!

Coworker: Oh, so you're batshit insane too! Good to know, lmaooo!

And that's what it's like being a NJ Will Wood fan, bahahaha

[the-count-and-the-raven]

Yes pls we need more rachels

i am begging you if you like will wood please listen to human zoo

[ranvwoop]

i kind of want to make a patch of the target logo or something in reference 2 a song I like but I don't want people to think I'm actually just a shill for target the store

[heartfullofleeches]

Yan arena beasts/fighters + handler reader. Reader is an average human working at a zoo/shelters abducted and thrown into a life of caring for a galactic tyrant's playthings due to their experience with animals. Not an idea choice for the job, but with everyone who's had the job before being maimed, killed, or worse they were running out of options. Reader does the best with what they're given. They find solitude with the other captives to an extent and some of the more feral creatures remind them of stray cats and dogs they knew back home. They treat those who allow as those same poor creatures out of habit and to cope with their new life. Others are so aggressive they have to be blindfold and sedated to even get close. Reader still tries to comfort them despite the many scratches and bites they receive

A little mix up happens where a warrior meant to fight the big bad of the area had already been slain by the beast. With no alternative, reader gets sent out instead as sacrifice to appease the blood hungry masses. They cower in the corner as the beast's mask is removed, praying their battered body at least gets shipped home so they have a proper burial and their family has some clue to what happened to them. They cast their small dagger away still unable to defend themselves against what they only see as a frightened animal protecting its own skin. The beast lifts them off the ground like a ragdoll holding them high for the crowd to see as its fangs draw from its scarred lips - breaking the band around its wrist that would seal reader's victory.

The beast ties the rope around reader's neck as the announcer declares them victor by default. The crowd boos, but as the beast snaps the neck of one of the guards and throws the limb body into the arena their demands are met. Reader quakes from the sheer disbelief of the whole ordeal, and still being trapped in the beast's arms as it coos. It takes over a dozen guards to get them to separate the two. They try again with another beast reader has care for and the same thing happens. Watching the live footage closely it's clear to experts the skilled fighters allow themselves to get injured to be coddled and tended to by reader. When rations are given they try to feed reader a share of their meals. The number of casualties skyrocket when reader's taken away or new caretakers are introduced. The beasts demand their head pats and ear scratches for their winnings and they want it from one source alone.

-

The emperor is quite amused by this revelation. It perfectly masks his paranoia in the case of his pets rising against him for whatever reason and choosing the earthling as their new overlord which few have spoken of in whispers. He's torn between killing them to null his fears and befriending them to puppeteer his pets craftfully from the shadows. He decides on the latter since getting rid of them would only anger his pets. That and it would be so easy to trick the human with his charms. Few can resist the words and body of a king, after all.

"Y/n, darling, it's so good to see you! So glad you could make it. How have things been, hm?"

"I'd like to go home, please."

"Hahaha! Oh, you're so cute with your little jokes! You may enjoy your meal in due time, but I have a favor to ask of you from a friend to a king. In the case of I don't know - my pets slaughtering my entire legion and storming my castle walls to behead me and crown you ruler - would you pretty please ask them to - not do that?"

"That....sounds like it would be out of my hands."

"Right. Changing subject, you are aware I have been topless this whole conversation and my bed is right behind me. Why haven't you attempted to have your way with me by now? Not saying you could - but you can always try."

The emperor upgrades their room to one right next to his, but they hardly sleep there favoring their time caring for the others and because they'd rather stay there than see him in a state of undress on their mattress. The emperor mimics the cooing that gets wounded beasts extra smothering from their handler, but reader mostly ignores him. He grows jealous seeing them fast asleep in a cell kept warm by the body heat of the battle scarred creatures around them. He's been scarred by attempted assassinations in the past - why doesn't he get cuddles too? Combats this jealously by making a royal decree that reader has to sit with him during every battle and on his lap if they wish to stay out of his sight afterwards. Requests for reader's fredom and hand in marriage and when a champion is chosen are banned almost immediately.