#human acts is one of the very few books that ever made me cry

[a-dream-deferred]

all the books i read in summer 2023 (from late may to early september):

to kill a mockingbird

educated

the martian

the moor's account

capitalism: a very short introduction

emily wilde's encyclopedia of fairies

human acts (my favorite book on this list!)

counterfeit

i saw ramallah (in arabic)

remarkably bright creatures

my brilliant friend

celestial bodies

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)

Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)

Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.

"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"

"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."

"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"

"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."

"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."

"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."

"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."

"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."

"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."

"The author is a pompous windbag."

"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."

"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"

"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."

"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."

"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."

"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."

"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."

"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."

"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."

"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"

"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"

"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."

"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."

"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."

"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”

Part 2

Part 3

[happykinzz]

Marble Hornets as Parents Headcanons

welcome to my delusional ramblings

Jay

Is defiantly one of those nervous Dads

He'll turn around and his kid will be on top on the kitchen counter and he'll have to use all the life force in his body to run over there and stop them from falling off

Listens very intently to his baby's rambles and often responds with general feedback

"Gago babwa chuuu" "Yeah that's a pretty weird dog isn't it?"

You know he signed up for one of those "Mommy and Me" classes where the parents and the baby do arts and crafts and stuff together

He's a regular at them and all the Moms there enjoy his and the baby's company

Alex

Is very hands on with his parenting

Diaper need changed? Done. Baby's crying? Bring them over here. You want a cookie? Take two.

Some may think he's not enthusiastic about his kid but thats further from the truth.

He just wants the absolute best for his baby.

Many times he'll over work himself with the baby and someone (usually Jay) will have to step in and try to get him to rest.

He will be like this during the child's baby phase, but as the child grows older he'll loosen up more.

Maybe he'll even crack a few corny Dad jokes ;)

Jessica

Also a very nervous parent.

But a very good one at that!

I think she would take her baby on long car rides just for the heck of it.

Also takes her kid out to a lot of fun stuff like Children's Museums and Aquariums :)

Is big on her kid having imagination and creativity in their life

Will spend a lot of time playing with her kid to encourage this.

Also reads to her kid a lot, they have a little "library" at the house where her kid will "check out" books

Overall a very good Mom who is giving her kid a great childhood :))

Tim

Papa Bear

If you even mildly inconvenience his baby he will at the very least give you the stink eye

Like Jessica, he's big on his kid having a childhood where playing and books are a big thing

When his kid is a newborn, 9 times out of 10 you will find him lying down with his baby sleeping on his chest, will also act like you're interrupting an important meeting as well

"Do you mind?" "You're gonna wake my baby."

Has his kid "help out" with chores when they're a little older ( they picked up little pieces of dust off the floor )

His heart breaks whenever he hears his little baby cry, many times he'll end up crying too

Has a tender voice when his talks to his child

Brian

A very cool Dad

Plays with his kid a lot, and like Alex he will meet his baby's needs in anyway possible

Has a sixth sense when it comes to his child, like he'll know his kid will need something before they even ask

Has one of those baby carriers that go on your chest and uses it all the time

Will crack Dad jokes before his kid can even comprehend the concept of human language

If his kid gives him something he will most defiantly keep it, he ends up having a whole box full of the little trinkets and drawings the kid has given him over the years.

Is super supportive of whatever activity the kid wants to pursue,

Just imagine one of those toddler flag football games where no one knows what the heck they're doing. and you jut hear the most elated man ever cheering from the crowd like it's the NFL

"THAT'S MY KID!!!!" "DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!" "MY KID MADE A GOAL!!!"

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Just read sentinel!reader au and I adore lil robot reader. I’ll be honest, when I first read the idea I imagined reader being a lot like Charlie Emily from the FNAF books. Like- they have the sound discs or some tech like that to make them look completely human. Just like Charlie they have absolutely no clue they’re a robot, but unlike Charlie, reader is a prototype so they have a few…abnormalities.

I mean- just imagine

This lil amnesiac sentinel child who thinks they’re a human, and looks like a human, but there’s just something a little…off about them. Their hands are always cold like metal, they are never hungry, and when they do eat they just say the food tastes….squishy? Sentinel!reader only ever using textures to describe food. And they have extreme strength (bc well being a sentinel).

Kurt comes across this child that has no idea where they came from and appears to be superhuman, so he brings this sweet little kid into the fold and sentinel reader becomes family. The X-men notice reader’s abnormalities like how no matter what amount of time passes, reader doesn’t seem to age. Imagine at one point reader looks the same age as all the other X-kids but then the rest of them grow into their late teens and reader still looks and acts like they’re twelve. Everybody just chalks it up to being part of reader’s mutation.

They’re happy…this is nice. Reader has a home and a great life!

But then Genosha happens. Reader was in fights as part of the X-men, but nothing like Genosha. And even then, the few fights that did get intense, the other X-men were there to help reader! Not this time…this time they’re practically alone, fighting to protect who they can, running between attacking sentinels and the medical triage that’s been set up. Reader winds up going with Remmy to take out the main Sentinel.

They die…or they should have.

Reader was never in a fight intense enough to severely ‘hurt’ or damage them. In the wake of the sentinel explosion…reader’s cloaking disk, or tech disguising their true robotic form is destroyed.

When reader wakes up they are met with scorn from some of the X-men, shock from others, Kurt seems extremely relieved.

Then reader notices their hands. They look like a smaller version of a sentinel’s…No- those can’t be their hands- they look like-!

The same hands that killed all those people in Genosha.

*cue reader’s existential crisis bc everything they thought they knew was a lie*

I feel like it adds to the betrayal the X-men would feel, and it makes reader tearing themself apart more tragic.

Idk the interaction of the X-men seeing sentinel reader in their real form intrigued me

Love ur writing!

Thank you! I like this addition, and I think it would add to the X-Men Evolution version or the X-Men 97 version!

If Reader did have some device that made them appear human, that does add some extra angst to everything, because Reader was so sure they were human, but they're not, and almost everyone thinks they're lying about not knowing. Then they destroy themself, and they're in the void afterlife with Gambit amd the others who died, and they're apologizing and crying and having to be hugged because they can't stop sobbing or feeling awful.

Kurt chews the others out, and breaks down when he finds what Reader dis to themself. Rogue is crying because she's lost both Gambit amd Reader now. The others are feeling guilt and emptiness, especially once Bastion reveals Reader was a scapegoat to buy him time and was going to he destroyed ling before they ever met the X-Men. Amd Gambit in the afterlife grows p*ssed when the others show up and explain what happened, and is very, very mad at feeling abandoned and that Reader was pushes to do that to themself.

(You have just made this even darker... Congratulations!)

[penultimate-step]

It's pretty obvious that you like Monogatari, and I've heard people talk about it with some regularity. But I'm not actually sure what it...is. Do you want to talk about that and why you like the series?

I absolutely want to talk about it!

Monogatari is a light novel series, playing in the urban fantasy/paranormal mystery genre space. The premise starts out simple: a few months ago, small town high school boy Koyomi Araragi was attacked by a vampire. He made it out alive, but ever since then, he's started noticing supernatural occurrences around him - people blessed by gods, possessed by devils, or anything else - and each time, he cant help getting involved, and learning their stories and situations.

Adding to this is how, in Monogatari, fantastical influences act as reflections and representations of human emotions and mental states. To deal with the supernatural affliction of the day, Araragi (and the readers) have no choice but to first come to an understanding of the people involved. This lends the series an incredible way to get to the heart of the characters.

As for why I personally love this series so much. I could say that it's because I love how the series depicts the supernatural and fantastical, or about how Nisio's writing has such excellent command of tone that it could seamlessly jump between making me laugh and making me cry within the same scene, or even the same sentence. And those are all aspects I do love about the series! But the biggest factor to me, the thing that has this series occupy a permanent place in my mind, is definitely the characters. This series has some of the best character writing of anything I've read, with essentially every major character having something to them that I can't let go of. The way Nisio Isin writes characters is. I wouldn't call it realistic, exactly - the series knows very well that it is a fictional world and doesn't hesitate to lean into it - but the way the series portrays emotions and reactions sometimes feel very human in a way I don't know if I've seen another series do as well.

In addition to the source novels, there's an anime adaptation made by studio shaft. It's pretty famous for featuring one of a kind visual flair and direction. While I personally really prefer the novels, I admire the anime as one of the best light novel adaptations I've ever seen. If you prefer watching to reading, you can't go wrong with the show either!

The series isn't necessarily for everyone, I've known a few people who bounced off it hard. But it's one of my favorite series of all time, and I would strongly recommend you at least try out the first book (or first couple episodes, if that's more your thing.)

If you want to know a bit more about the series, tumblr user StudentOfEtherium has a good post introducing the series that goes far more in-depth than I've been able to do here, going in more detail about how the series works and introducing some of the major characters.

[7thpuzzlepiece]

Seashore (Grayson x reader -> reader pov)

pairing : Grayson x reader

synopsis : today was tough lately, Grayson knows it.

tags: comfy relationship, anxiety, anxiety attack, self-doubt, comfort, kissing, hugging, sea, seaside

You can find Grayson's pov here : https://www.tumblr.com/7thpuzzlepiece/760508277386788864/seashore-grayson-x-reader-graysons-pov?source=share

~~~

As I’m taking a walk close to the sea, I listen to some music, trying to ease my mind a little. My head hurts, I feel numb and I’m so lost. I hide my shaking hands in my pocket, my tears behind my scarf, and walk in the wind. Waiting for something that might never ever come. I’m feeling so cold that I might freeze here, it would maybe make things easier. Stop time for a bit, until the sun melts my pains away. As I see a few people looking at me, I go down the stairs and walk on the beach. Alone in my head and alone on the beach, I allow myself to be. Just me and nothing I’m expected to. I sit on the beat and look at the waves crashing one after another. The wind is strongly blowing. I sing along to the song in my ears, it feels less lonely to be with music than to be alone. I’m suddenly embraced by two arms, warmly wrapping my body. One of my earphones is taken out of my ear to find its place in his ear. He sings along to the song with me. His voice feels so far away, blown away by the wind as soon as it comes out of his mouth. The me I was trying to be for myself, the strong me even if I know my weaknesses, is fading away. He allows me to slowly be left without any protection as he is here for me. I know my tears are taken away by the wind. I’m happy they are as I try to hide them from him, even now. After all of the times, he collected me crying, I still want to act. I feel fake. My sobs are getting bigger and he tightens his grip on my shoulders. Slowly rubbing my back, and singing a bit louder for me to focus on his voice. I feel like I’m losing control and as much as I try to find it back, I’m losing myself in my tears. I’m breathless, the world is spinning around me and I feel trapped. I try to take a grip on him but it isn’t enough to ground me. He takes my hands into his, shifts from my back to my front, and looks me in the eyes.

« Hey please, I’m right here okay ? It’s me and only me, you can be yourself around here. I won’t leave because of those tears, let them out, rely on me, that’s why I came ».

Grayson. His voice, his hands, his eyes, that’s all I try to focus on. I feel small and I curl up on myself, to take as little space as possible. Just a small human being in his arms. Seeing I’m starting to get a bit calmer and looking for a caring touch, he releases my right hand and strokes my head slowly. Following the rhythm of the song, I forgot what I was listening to. My sobs are getting lighter, but my head hurts and I feel drained. He helps me to get back on my feet, dry my tears with his tissue-made tissue, and reorganize my hair, messy because of my scarf and the wind.

«  Are you feeling better now? Are you willing to talk about it? » His voice is so deep yet so sweet, filled with concern and so understanding. His silver eyes are wandering over my face.

«  I don’t know Grayson, I’m not feeling better for real, maybe a bit less heavy but I’m still answerless and I’m very tired ». He takes my hand and puts it in his pocket.

« Would you like us to walk a bit more ? Or just go to a cafe a rest ? You are so cold ».

« The second one is probably the best ».

We turn our back to the sea and leave the beach to the city center. We enter our favorite cafe. He orders teas for the two of us and we sit on the sofa in the right corner of the room. Not a single natural ray of light enters, and the artificial lamp’s yellowish light is relaxing. He takes out his books and starts to read. He pats his knees indicating me to rest my head on them, but I’m scared of ruining the fabric of his suit pants with my tears. He shuffles me softly, and I end up resting my head on his knees, playing with the fringes of his blue and green scarf. I fall asleep like that. Feeling more at ease, even if thoughts are not very far away. For now, I am just enjoying some babied moments with him.

[lonesurvivorao3]

Eris Shepard Quotes

Snippets and one liners from Pandoras Box.

“A lie is of no use unless someone trusts you enough to believe it.”

Having defeated a second Reaper, this time on Rannoch, Eris had no trouble confronting the finger in her face steadily. “Your accusations are demonstrably false.”

“She who hesitates is usually fucked.”

“Can’t be all temper and no timing when there are children are crying,” she said again, as if that were explanation enough.

“I’ve never had any respect for bureaucrats.”

Despite knowing she’d acted beyond all logical reason, she barked at Garrus. “You don’t have to agree with me; it’s called the chain of command, and I’m at the very top.“

“Did I seem to give a fuck about that?”

After a few minutes, Eris placed a bookmark then put it on top of the pile. Her hand raked through her hair, effortlessly parting the waist-length ringlets. “By way of an introductory remark, you should know I am extremely miffed about your intrusion into my life and book.”

“You’ve read the stories. You know who I am. Nobody has ever stopped me.”

When asked what happened in the tower with Mordin, she sucked in a breath facetiously and said, “I did the math and found the reproductive rate unsustainable.”

“I watched Fleet and Flotilla with Tali. Let us never speak of it.”

She wept uncontrollably, all of her despair and every ounce of bitterness leaking out. “How many hours I have spent staring up at the sky wondering if there were other choices I could have made, some other path I should have taken.” 

“Lies! You’d fuck this moment if you could.”

Eris asked where the bathroom was and shut the door behind her; she leaned against it, her eyes rolling rapidly under her eyelids. “Don’t make me see it; I don’t want to see it.”

“The best way to pull people together is to give them a mission in which the stakes are so high that the odds don’t matter.”

“I’d wager they did not have subordinates incessantly asking questions and hindering the progress of the task at hand,” grunted Eris, side-eyeing Vega in a way Kaidan hadn’t seen since the days of the SR1 and Williams.

“Faulty logic postulated on imperfect data collection!” 

Lowering himself to a crouch in front of her, Kaidan opened the case and placed a cigarette between her split lip, lighting it with practiced ease. After taking a couple of long drags, she flicked the ash and gestured outside. “There’s a terrible confusion amongst the stars.”

“Do not interrupt me, ever.”

“Well, as they say,” she said, helpless to stop the prick in a suit doing whatever he wanted but determined not to show an ounce of fear nor answer anything he might ask. Besides, what could he inflict upon her that hadn’t already been done at one time or another? “Duh.”

“Rather less than bloody optimal, no?”

“Doilies?” she questioned, striding across the room and waving one underneath Anderson’s nose. “What sort of monster have you become since I last saw you?”

“Are you pulling rank on me, Major?”

But it wasn’t enough to help her find her bearings, stop the furious, frightened tears or make her refrain from asking for the impossible. “I don’t want to. Please take me home. Please.”

“Everyone looking to me as if I know what I’m doing. I can’t afford the cost of a conscience.”

“The volume of your voice and the validity of your arguments always exist in inverse proportion,” sighed Eris, succumbing to the exhaustion that continued to wrack her body. She collapsed onto the bed, still fully clothed.

“The time for careful consideration has long since passed!”

“Forgive my foolishness,” she said, wiping her cheek with the back of her thumb. “I know it’s not possible; I know what I am. A wretched thing, monstrous, barely human.” 

[sandywaygalaxy]

Relationship Anarchy

Reading about relationship anarchy has freed me in a way. I don't know if I will ever be able to put it into practice, but it spoke to my impulses and my desires. It's new to me to view my desires under the light of autonomy rather than the darkness of trauma. It's new to me to see my avoidance as a philosophy I can take up, and an agreement I can share.

Does it feel right? It does. It is freeing and it's one of the very few things that's offered me the chance to look in the mirror with curiosity rather than horror.

It's funny though when you think about it. It's funny that you have to read about relationship anarchy to realize how relationships in our societies are hierarchical and rigid. How there's an unbelievably small room for self expression and independence not only for the parties of the agreement but also for the off springs. When we treat our relationships as a project, we lose ourselves to it, but then we see the other as a part of the project no a self to see and love.

The structure of the nuclear anti-social family is so strong in my head that it scares me that I couldn't allow myself to reject it after years of touching how badly it affected me. I couldn't reject it even in thought, because the only other option was to lose love. Love. Such a big word that was made suffocating and scary with its traditional usage. To love is to worry and demand. This's what was to taught me, and this's what I was punished for not achieving all along.

The thing I like the most about reading about relationship anarchy that it has destroyed the system of attachment system, mental illness, and childhood trauma that I've been submitting for for so long. It's crazy to realize that there's actually a way to see your patterns not to change them but to cherish them.

It's funny because at stressful times, I cry for a manual with how to feel and how to deal. I always think how autistic of me it is to have this need for a guide book as there is no such thing. But I swear it felt like there is because the society (even family, friends and lovers) act as if there is. With all the "How you dare" and "You know better" I wished for somebody to teach me the instructions for action and emotions to be free. Funny ha? Freedom from my own limits is all I wanted but is it possible that I have the option to accept my limits and remove the limits of the rigid society. Because, my friend, to be human in to be limited. I don't see how on Earth I can be the soft and rigid, the calm and joyful, the patient and anxiously loving all at the same time.

The thing that scared me the most though is that I more or less was running in circles generating the same thoughts, and reading about them in a form or another for years. They were real. They are. But your head, my friend, can be a prison if you don't look around more often and if you don't smile at strangers faces and ask them "Tell me something, I know nothing" and act like it.

--- This is a writing to document a phase of thoughts

[velvetporcelain]

Please listen to this song at the end of this entry.

Grand rising mon coeur.

I’m up before the sun and I can’t help but think I have already won. I’m constantly surrounded by awe and wonder in this life. I am being nourished is ways my past self could never fathom.

Whatever fears I face due to having had a harden shell are melting away with each act of surrender.

I am a soft bed of grass with the interconnection of all things flowing beneath my roots.

I’m actually not as angry as I used to be - yeah it’s winter and the dark inches closer to four p.m. but still- when I wake up some days and make myself a nice breakfast, cut all the fruit heart shaped and pretty and I realized suddenly I can cook. I know how I like my own eggs and I have started to wear my hair natural, long, heavy and hanging as I move freely around the morning.

Lately, i have been living live slowly. One door opening at a time, and sometimes when i walk in everything is glowing

God. Life illuminating right in front of me, and I remember how I used to be so angry— and now- I am not.

Change is possible because it’s absolute. I refrain from planning my day, I work best when it comes at me.

I asked my mother for the twelve steps and twelve traditions. Bible book for AA. I want to see what these twelve steps are all about. I am not an alcoholic by any means, I wouldn’t consider myself an addict of any kind- other than constantly using my brain to think 👀😑🤘something in me just wants to know. I don’t really KNOW what I want out of it, I just want to see the basic principles applied to the mentality of addictive behavior.

What if these steps could help you over come the seemingly inevitable addiction to thoughts and old toxic comforting patterns in your thinking? WHAT IF?

I don’t see why you couldn’t learn, because all my years just being surrounded by the Alcoholics Anonymous cult, I’ve learned so much about people in a “like mind” setting at a very young age. Belief is a powerful tool. I look forward to reading through the twelve most powerful steps, some would call these the “stairway to heaven”

They also use god as a higher power. Worship him for the new opportunities and structure presented. Humans need structure. We are made to create chaos. We are chaos.

When they say “chaos will reign” it only means life. Human lives living. That’s chaos. Unpredictable and scattered. Blown over us like pixie dust. Nothing stresses us out more than US.

Reason number five hundred and four i love cannabis. It brings me back to the ground, it brings out the women in me, it carries me gently back into myself, most importantly, I’m conscious.

The last few days I’ve been a horny and mouthy bitch. And to take responsibility for this instead of crying about how I don’t have anyone to share this responsibility with feels like I won the lottery. The best thing over ever learned to do was make myself cum.

Cheers to a beautiful day and the new opportunities to experience and explore ourselves.

Form allegiances, tame temptation.

i love you.

fin.

-x

[elixirfromthestars]

Together

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It’s been a month since you had a baby with your husband, Bucky. On the first day he went back to work, however, you can’t get her to stop crying—that is until Bucky comes home. 

Word Count: ~700

Warning(s): anxious feelings / insecure feelings / overall very fluffy

a/n: So my amazingly talented friend @peteyprecious616​ wrote some cute pregnant! reader x Bruce Wayne fics (which you should totally go read! 💖) And it got me thinking about Bucky as a dad and well that’s how this little drabble was born 🥺 Thank you for reading! ❤️

✧༺♡༻∞　　∞༺♡༻✧

     The baby bottle slipped from your hand and rolled across the nursery. You whined as your month old baby continued to cry its heart out. If the crying wasn’t your breaking point—the spilled milk was. 

     “ Sweetie, what do you want? Why can’t you stop crying?” You rubbed her back to soothe her, feeling a few frustrated tears fall down your face. You never had to take care of anyone else before, and now you had a whole little human depending on you. You thought you could do it, Bucky assured you over and over that you would be great at this. 

     You didn’t feel so great right now.

     You planted a kiss on her forehead, slowly rocking her back and forth in your arms. She woke up over an hour ago and ever since she had not stopped crying. You tried everything in the book, but nothing worked. It physically killed you to hear her in constant distress—it made you feel like a horrible mother. 

     “ Sweetheart, I’m home!” You heard Bucky call out from the front door, his presence instantly taking some of your anxiety away. You looked over at the heart shaped clock on the nursery wall, he was home early. 

     You walked over to where he was, still rocking your baby in your arms. Bucky met you halfway, scurrying as soon as he heard the cries. When your eyes met, his smile fell,“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” He asked, concerned. He pulled you in by the waist, holding you close, looking over you and the baby.

     ” I can’t get Rebecca to stop crying. I’ve tried everything. She refuses to eat, she won’t go to sleep, I don’t know what to do. I’m such a bad mother. I can’t even comfort my own baby,” you rambled on, the tears overflowing. Bucky kissed the top of your head, holding the sides of your face gently to console you. He used his thumbs to wipe away your tears,“ You are not a bad mother, I know you love this baby so much. Look at how worried you are about her, sweetheart. We’ll figure out what's going on, together.” Bucky held out his arms and you handed him Rebecca. He carried her on his metal arm, and used his other to interlock his hand with yours. You leaned into his shoulder and he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

     Not even a minute went by, and like magic, she stopped crying. You pulled away and looked over at Bucky in disbelief,” How did you do that?! Are you secretly a wizard or something?” He gave you a side look reminding you of his whole “wizard’s aren’t real” discourse. You gave him an appreciative kiss on the cheek and he let it go. 

     “ No, it just looks like she missed me,” the loving look he gave her made your heart soar. “ She’s not the only one. I was happily surprised when you came home three hours early,” you told him, reaching up to hold Rebecca’s hand. Bucky laughed,” You should’ve seen the way Sam was acting. He was rushing through everything begging me to go home early. Oh, and he invited us over for dinner this weekend. Sarah and the kids are coming to visit and they want to meet the baby.” You laughed along with him, making a mental note to thank Sam later. 

     “ I got an idea,” Bucky let go of your hand to take off his jacket, switching Rebecca from one arm to the other. He rested her against his chest, and you realized what he was doing. You untucked the floral blanket from around her tiny body and folded it, leaving it on top of her dresser. You then helped Bucky wrap his jacket around Rebecca. As soon as she closed her eyes, Bucky laid her down in her crib and turned on the Avengers mobile Tony gifted her, a soft melody filled the room. 

     “ She’ll hopefully stay asleep for a couple hours,” he said, hugging you from behind and resting his head on top of yours. You leaned into him,” You’re so good with her. You’re a natural.” You felt Bucky shake his head,” I’m learning, just like you. This parenting thing isn’t easy, but it's you and me. There’s nothing we can’t do together.” You turned around and pulled him in for a kiss, which he returned enthusiastically. You knew everything was going to be okay because you had each other. 

[jojikawa]

✢Escapism✢

♡ | Jotaro Kujo x Fem!Goddess!Reader | ♡

Masterlist

✦Part 2 - Morioh✦

✧『Fandom』: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure ✧『Character』: Jotaro Kujo (Part 4) ✧『Word Count』: 3,212 words 17,270 characters

✧『Summary』: Jotaro gets the idea to bring you with him on his trip to Morioh as a way of cheering you up and bringing you out of your depression.

Jotaro didn’t know how to help you at the moment. You seemed very depressed at the current situation and since he loves you, he’s felt obligated to help cheer you up. He knew why you were depressed but had a hard time saying something first about it.

It was Jolyne.

It’s been a long time since you’ve seen her. Maybe a few years, actually. The situation was devastating and Jotaro could only imagine how a mother must feel.

You went through pregnancy for essentially nothing.

Now, you lay in bed during your breaks, completely consumed by your declining mental health.

While working for the Speedwagon Foundation, Jotaro had gotten his degree in Marine biology and was a proud Marine Biologist. Usually, one would think he’s too busy with his work and studies but the SWF made taking time off 1000% easier so that he could get down to the bottom of the locations of the Stand arrows.

His next destination was Morioh, Japan. There was supposed to be an arrow there and not only that but after taking a look at his family tree, he had an…uncle there. A 16-year-old boy named Josuke.

Joseph was getting old and Jotaro was the one who had to split the inheritance up between family members. Josuke counts too. Now, he just had to tell you.

After getting home from a long day, Jotaro entered your temporary home to see that everything was clean. Not because you had cleaned it but because no one had touched anything. You didn’t get out of bed again.

He entered the room you two shared and there you were. Wrapped in a quilt with your eyes puffy from crying.

“Hey.” He knocked on the door to let you know he entered. “I saw this book and I thought you might like it.” He added. Sometimes, Jotaro would bring books for you to read. They were always about Marine Biology or something that has to do with the ocean. You thought it was really cute and it showed his personality. It’s just that you kinda already knew everything that you could about the world.

You thought that maybe if you were still a human, you could appreciate his gifts more.

“Thanks.” You replied with your speech muffled from the blanket covering your head. You then felt the bed dip a bit from the weight. You guess he must’ve sat on the bed.

“Looks like they were able to track down another arrow. It’s in Japan this time.”

“Mmm.”

“It’s a small town named Morioh.”

“Mmm.”

“And you know that I’m in charge of splitting up the old man’s inheritance since he’s getting old and-“

“Mhm.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to…come with me and take your mind off things.”

You slowly removed the quilt from over your head. You got a look at Jotaro’s outfit for the day. He had on his newer white hat and wore a black turtle neck.

You thought he looked cute.

“A trip?” You asked him before sitting all the way up. Jotaro nodded.

You smiled softly at his efforts and lunged over the covers to hug him. Jotaro didn’t hug you back right away but then you felt his arms snake around your waist.

The man knew that it was probably out of his character to act so affectionately. Just hugging used to be out of his comfort zone but ever since the two of you began dating in high school, you’ve challenged his “loner” lifestyle. You were always there for him and now he was there for you.

It wasn’t long before the two of you arrived in Morioh. The place had a bit of a gloomy look but it was oddly charming at first glance. So far, you’ve only seen an airport and the inside of a taxi next to your husband, Jotaro.

You noticed that ever since you had arrived, Jotaro was noticeably more irritable but he never elaborated. You tried prying it out of him with kisses and talking in your cute voice but it only resulted in him blushing and pulling the brim of his hat down to stop you or hide his red face.

Now, you were in the busy streets of Morioh!!

You were so eager to take a trip to the boutiques and dessert shops. You frantically looked around while Jotaro had his head planted in a map of the town. He was trying to look for the residence of his teen uncle.

“Joot, look! That cake in the window looks really good! We should go there first.” You tugged his white jacket, trying to get him to look as if you were a child. He ignored you like as if you were a child too.

“Yeah, give me a minute.” He tuned out most of what you were saying since he was having such a hard time reading the map.

You huffed. “Come on, Jotaro, you’re not even listening did you even see the cake I was referring-“

You were cut off once you realized that Jotaro had bumped into someone! It was a kid who looked like he was on his way to school.

His school supplies ended up flying out of his bag and almost all over the ground until you saw Jotaro use Star Platinum and put everything back where it was. You then felt a sense of stillness before everything went back to normal.

Jotaro used his time-stop ability! You could feel it but you didn’t know why you could suddenly feel something like that. All those years ago in Egypt, when Dio would use time stop, you didn’t even notice.

“Hey, excuse me!” You called to the young boy. “Can you please help my husband with directions? He’s being a bit stubborn right now.” You asked politely as you nudged Jotaro a little bit.

Jotaro rolled his eyes before apologizing and asking the boy about his uncle, Josuke Higashikita.

The boy gave helpful directions and you internally sigh in relief and now you could finally start having a bit of fun!

Jotaro and you began to leave before a few delinquents passed by. They tried picking on the little boy you had just met and you could tell Jotaro didn’t like it. You knew he had gotten so strong from bullies picking on him before the two of you met.

You decided you’d say something but they had already moved on to someone else. It was a boy sitting by a fountain.

You used your cosmic vision to examine the boy. He had a star-shaped birthmark just like Jotaro and Jolyne. Upon realizing this, you pant Jotaro’s arm frantically to get his attention.

“What?” You heard his gruff from beside you.

“That’s Josuke.” You pointed over to the bot with the pompadour hairstyle.

Jotaro visibly reacted to the revelation.

Before you knew it, Josuke had gotten into a fight with those delinquents. They must’ve said something he really didn’t like because now they had run away.

‘Wow! He has a stand too.’ You watched in awe. It was so nice for you to see different stands in action. You could tell the boy next to you didn’t seem to know what was going on. You figured it would be best to not say anything.

You tugged Jotaro’s coat again. “We should talk to him.” You told him. He had to admit, he was a bit nervous but decided that if you were with him then it should be easier.

When you approached Josuke, you saw that he and Jotaro were already glaring at each other.

Jotaro explained how the family tree worked and brought Josuke up to speed on why the two of you were there:

“My name is Jotaro Kujo, which means, since he’s my grandfather, I’m technically your nephew.”

You smiled before clinging to Jotaro. “And I’m (y/n) (l/n)- I mean, (y/n) Kujo! I guess this makes me your…” You thought for a moment, getting a bit confused over how things worked again.

“…niece in law!”

“Oh, it’s a pleasure…” Josuke muttered to the both of you.

You watched as Jotaro socialized with someone who wasn’t you. It was so amusing. You were really the only person he could talk to without being annoyed so seeing him almost smiling while talking to Josuke made you feel warm inside.

It wasn’t until you were almost at the Higashikita residence that things kinda went south. You had been taking in the scenery when a group of girls had come by. You honestly couldn’t tell at first if they had come to fawn over Josuke or Jotaro before you had seen their uniforms.

When you had come to, you saw that Jotaro and Josuke seemed like they were about to go at it. You felt like it was best to diffuse the situation. Especially, if some innocent girls were about to witness it.

“Did something happen?” You asked, reading the room to the best of your ability. “Josuke thinks I was insulting his hair,” Jotaro explained. You couldn’t tell if Jotaro was being truthful or not. You knew he wouldn’t outright lie about it but you did know your husband well enough to understand that he’s bad at recognizing social cues.

“Oh no, I-“ But Jotaro didn’t let you finish. He cut you off saying “Don’t worry.” And revealed his stand to fight with Josuke.

You began to panic, scurrying over to the group of school girls watching the confrontation. “D-Don’t worry. They’re family. You’re here for Josuke, right?” You stood in the girls’ view so they couldn’t see what was going on.

“Is that dude your boyfriend?” One of them said. “It doesn’t seem like he knows about Josuke’s temper!” the other muttered.

The last one screamed. “Josuke, no!”

“He’s bleeding!”

You turned around. Upon looking, the only thing you wanted to do was grab your head and scream in agony. Couldn’t you just have a normal vacation without your husband punching someone? He’s been getting into fights since you’ve met him and you’re always the one trying to cushion the blow to get him out of trouble…

Jotaro and Holly sat in the school principal’s office. Some bullies tried picking on him again and he tried to ignore it as best as he could. When they tried fighting him, he was left to defend himself and since he didn’t have total control over Star Platinum, he completely trashed all of them!

The bullies were such sorry sore losers and made this whole elaborate plan to get Jotaro expelled, trying to convince the district that he started it. There was no evidence that the young boy didn’t start it. It was just their word and injuries against Jotaro’s word and lack thereof.

Until you.

“…excuse me.” You entered the principal’s office on your own. “I saw the whole fight. They were harassing Kujo-Senpai and then attacked him. It was self-defense.” Your reputation saved him from getting kicked out of school and who knows what else…

You felt Jotaro use time-stop again and now he was behind Josuke. The poor boy turned around to be decked by your husband again.

“Jotaro!” You yelled out before dropping to the ground to comfort Josuke. “A-Are you okay? I’m really sorry. Sometimes, he just doesn’t know his own strength.”

You then heard Jotaro cursing at the girls behind you. This man…

“It’s okay! I can manage on my own.” Josuke said shyly before shrugging you off.

“Fair enough.” You heard Jotaro say behind you. You backed off.

Jotaro began to inform Josuke of the lurking evil in the town. Something that he conveniently forgot to mention to you when he invited you on this trip. You didn’t believe the vacation was all sunshine and rainbows but you had thought that maybe some kids had gotten the arrow and went around shooting each other to create trouble.

The little boy you met, Koichi Hirose, reminded Josuke that they had orientation for school. This causes your conversation with the Joestar to come to an end, leaving just you and Jotaro.

You placed your hands on your hips. “And what was that?” You questioned sternly, trying not to laugh at your husband’s ruined hat.

“What was what?” Jotaro repeated, removing his damaged hat. If only he listened to you and brought a spare one.

“Punching Josuke and yelling at those girls. You don’t think I heard you?” You rolled your eyes at him. You hated having to spell such obvious things out for him.

“I had to or it was gonna get ugly.”

You frowned again. “Sure, Joot. And you didn’t tell me the level of threat these people are with the arrow. Is that the real reason you asked me to come?”

“What? No. Not at all. I can handle it. I just want you to be able to enjoy yourself.” He came over to you and rested his palm on your head.

You loved it when he made you feel small…

“Now, come on. We should get going before the evening hits.”

You tilted your head. “Where are we going?”

“That cake shop or dress boutique or whatever.”

You lit up, throwing yourself at him and snuggling into his strong chest. “You actually remembered. We should test all the sweets Morioh has to offer~!” You purred. The way you talked sometimes gave him butterflies.

Jotaro smirked. “And you thought I wasn’t listening.”

Jotaro was your guide around Morioh and you were his cute eye candy! He took you to the clothing shop you had been eyeing the most. You found it so romantic that you got to try on cute pieces of attire and have him be your personal judge.

It made you feel so warm inside when you would come out of the changing room with a silk dress on that hugged your curves and fit so beautifully while being so thin. The expressions he’d make…

Subtle or nonexistent to anyone else but to you was so obvious. His eyes would light up and look anywhere but your face.

“Jotaro…Jotaro!” You would wave your hand in front of his face to get his attention. “So, should I add this one to the Speedwagon bill?”

“Oh, Y-Yeah. Get whatever you want.” He told you, averting his eyes to something like a mannequin or a different dress that you had already taken off.

The one thing he was so grateful for was the privacy this changing room gave. No one else would see what you’d show him or how awkward he’d get when you asked him any questions that had to do with your body.

“But JoJo, I want your opinion.~” You spoke to him in a cute sultry baby voice. You only did it when you wanted one thing from him.

You walked over to the resting chair that he has been patiently waiting in and settled your self in his lap. You rubbed your cheek against his own like a cat trying to transfer scents. The only difference is that this “cat” was human sized, petite, sexy and wearing a silk mini dress with lace underwear.

“Okay okay. Just not here.” But his words didn’t match his actions. You felt his big hands secure themselves around your waist.

Without a word, you kissed the crook of his neck, making your way to his cheeks and before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. That set him off.

“Get what you’re getting so we can go to the hotel.” He commanded lowly. This only made you smile. He was just too cute.

“But we haven’t gone to the dessert shop yet. Let’s eat a little cake first.” You licked your lips and narrowed your eyes at him.

A groan escaped his throat, making you giggle. “Don’t worry. I’ll buy the dress and wear it for you soon. Let’s get going.”

You tried to get up but his hands were still holding you in place.

“Jotaro, honey, I’m gonna need you to let go.”

After changing, you went to the nearby dessert shop. Your simple little lewd interaction with him caused a change in his behavior. He wasn’t his typical dismissive self. You knew he disliked PDA but he was more tolerant of it and more likely to initiate it when he was in a horny mood.

It wasn’t you just grabbing his arm or his hand to guide him as you walked along. He began to take lead with an arm around your waist. His adorable version of holding hands.

“Do you think we should take some cookies and cake to go?” You asked politely. You really enjoyed getting his input on things. Jotaro nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“Great!” You then turned to the baker. “Can I have this?” You pointed to various fresh sweets through the warm glass and felt a bit happier every time it was bagged up. “Are there any things you’d like too, Jotaro? You should at least pick something out for later.” You informed him. “I’m not sharing any of my stuff with you.” You then stuck your tongue out at him to tease a little.

Jotaro rolled his eyes before making his own order of baked goods, mostly consisting of brownies and cookies. After spending some time at the bakery,. The two of you found that it would be nice to settle down at the hotel for the night.

You decided to take a shower first so that when it was Jotaro’s turn you could surprise and you did!

When Jotaro had come back from his shower, he found you on the clean bed wrapped in satin, eating some of the desserts you just bought. Like a present waiting for him.

He had only been wearing some pajamas, not expecting you to actually, ya know…wear that.

“What are you doing…?”

You smiled. “Waiting for you.” You answered. “Now, come to bed!”

You guided him to the bed where you could really feel him physically relax. He was always on his feet.

“I really enjoyed today with you.” You whispered to him. “I appreciate you taking me here as a way to cheer me up as well. You’re so very sweet.” You then began to kiss his face. “I’m so glad I married you.”

All Jotaro could do was blush at your affection. He would be hiding the red tint on his cheeks with his hat if he never got ruined.

“Yeah yeah, woman.” He replied, letting you kiss all over him because it was undeniable that he craved them more than he’d like to admit.

[suna-reversed]

Hello :)

Sukuna. fluff. Pretty please.

Could you write something about sukuna falling for itadori's best friend. You can throw some angst in there too because I am a masochist❤️

Sukuna x F! Reader 

oh god, this turned purely self indulgent halfway through. low key thinking of turning this into a series to give you the angst you deserve.

A/N: (reader is Itadori’s senior and is 18) (loosely inspired by the song “me and my husband” by mitski)

“And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved”

——-

- You had been one of the few poor senior students who had been victim to what had been Itadori’s “elevator pitch” for more people to join the occult club early back in high school. [the said “elevator pitch” being him jumping out at random people with a white bedsheet over his head saying “boo” as he handed you the club form]

- You didn't end up joining the club. But you somehow did end up getting joined at the hip with the chaotic mess under the white sheet.

- Whether it was you two rushing to the theatre to watch Jennifer Lawrence’s new movie,  or going to a revolving sushi place [only to get pocky from a nearby vending machine instead because revolving sushi is apparently expensive], Itadori Yuuji had become a comforting and very important presence in your life.

- So of course when he suddenly dropped out of your life, being the worried friend you were, you decided to poke around a little only to find out that he was...dead?

- Maybe a few months down the line, you would’ve started to slightly recover from the tragic news you had just gotten. Instead, what you got was your supposedly dead best friend popping up days later to tell you that he ate a finger and now he was the vessel for some centuries old curse,,,

- Um yeah...safe to say that Yuji did not expect you to go into the fit of emotions that you did [boy had the audacity to call you dramatic for fainting and then crying while hugging him once you gained consciousness] 

- some time passed and Yuji and you didn’t see each other much with him practically training to be the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. Still, simply happy to have him back alive, your brain managed to convinced itself that everything was still the same. 

- And it was when he’d sneak out a day or two from his heavy schedule and you’d be back to your normal routine of watching movies, stuffing your face with snacks, getting your face licked by the mouth on Yuji’s hand…

- ,,,wait what

- The first time the curse had made contact with you was simply out of annoyance of why the stupid brat even took the time to see someone as mundane as you so often.

- His plan was to simply scare you into leaving, knowing it would cause the brat pain.

- So he grabbed the opportunity when Yuji moved forward to brush off some popcorn dust on the side of your mouth, not only licking the side of your face but also being successful in slightly grazing his teeth against your tender skin. 

- Yuji had mentioned that being a vessel had caused some weird physical “abnormalities” for him. you didn’t understand it back then but at least knowing that had sort of prepared you for such an instance.

- So imagine the curse’s surprise [and an even further growing annoyance] when your eyes barely widened for a second before you burst into laugher, 

“Didn’t you train your dog to not bite?”

- by now, Yuji had jumped 5 feet away from you and was still halfway through his string of apologies, but upon hearing your reaction, he mused on your fake calm while letting out a chuckle himself, 

- “Guess I’ve got to get a leash for him” 

- By this point, the ever so indifferent curse had taken two teenagers talking about him like a mere annoyance as a personal challenge.

- And that’s how it started.

- He’d come out every now and then, licking your fingers as Yuji passed you something or making lewd remarks on anything and everything that you ever started a conversation about. 

- But you and Yuji barely paid him attention and it was an understatement to say that it infuriated the living hell out of him.

- Particularly you, who wouldn’t even be annoyed or sarcastic about his tactics anymore. Instead, treating him like a friend who was simply joining you and the brat to hang out. 

- He hated it. Hated how bright your laugh was. Hated how you made them stop every time you saw a stray animal just so you could pet it. Hated how your skin was as soft as a cloud and how you sometimes smelled like cherry blossoms. He’d kill you in an instant if he could ugh.

- it was a weekend and Yuji and you had been watching a movie, even though Yuji was barely paying attention. You knew he was tired as his large frame slumped over your shoulder. Pulling the blanket up to his face, you once again felt the wet feeling of the assaults you had grown familiar with on the side of your hand.

- “You could’ve just asked for a pocky if you wanted one, no need to lick it off my fingers you grumpy little thing”, you laughed as you stood up to go to the bathroom

- that snapped the final string. 

- Coming back into your living room, you wondered if Yuji had somehow gotten up in his sleep and managed to draw weird black lines over himself all in the span of 5 minutes. 

- ‘Yuji, what the fuck?’

- ‘Well well, now who’s acting like a grumpy little thing’ 

- The deep voice sent rumbles down your spine and you knew in an instant what had happened. 

- Even though your breath hitched in your throat and your body begged for you to run as fast away as you can, you held your ground as you simply tilted your head at the curse 

- “Well, I’d like my best friend back if you don’t mind.”

- You saw the smirk on Sukuna’s face falter for just a second before he crossed the space between the couch and you.

- Now as strong of a front as you managed to hold up until now, watching something like that stride straight towards you would have had even the strongest of sorcerers shitting bricks.

- Instinctively, you took a few steps backwards, but he simply continued to close the distance between the two of you until you were backed up against the wall.

- You flinched as he slammed a hand right next to your head and he seemed to gain immense satisfaction from that as he looked down at your startled face with a smirk plastered on his tattooed face. 

- Sukuna was sure that you’d be begging for his mercy any second now. His smirk widened and he was ready to mock your pleas as he saw you open your mouth to say something, 

- “ ...so much for a damn pocky.”

- All those other times you had caught the curse off guard were nothing compared to the “partially-confused partially-baffled” expression that he held on his face now. It almost made him look human. Almost.

- You didn’t realise just how long you were holding his gaze until Yuji took back control and apologized like a million times over, reassuring you that he would’ve never let you get hurt. 

- The curse didn’t show up for almost a week after that. And while you were grateful for not having to wash off your hands or face 14 times a day, you somehow felt anxious about its sudden disappearance. 

- All those worries were thrown out the window as he once again showed up while Yuji was passed out on the couch after a particularly tough session with Gojo sensei.

- Looking at the curse, you felt anger more than anything, how could he just drop out on you with no warning and then show up in the middle of your living room- ...wait a second, why the hell are you mad at a literal curse for not telling you he was taking a mental health break or whatever it was that he was doing? 

- While you sorted out through these conflicting thoughts in your mind, the curse seemed to be going through a similar crisis. 

- Having woken up in the brat’s fragile human body with no warning whatsoever, Sukuna wasn’t in the mood to see your face so soon again. He didn’t know why your physical presence unsettled him so much. All he knew was that he hated it. Even more now that he knew what you looked like all scared and small compared to his vessel’s towering build, and how you smelled even sweeter than what he had tasted, and how despite all that you still had the courage to stand up to someone as dangerous as him. Ugh, disgusting. 

- “The stupid brat passed out.”

- Such a simple statement caused you to snap your head up at him. But he didn’t wait for your reaction as he somehow managed to plop down on the couch while still looking graceful. Picking up the half eaten box of pocky, he warily pulled one out, eyeing it as if it was  a poisoned dagger before breaking off a piece and placing it on his tongue.

- “This is what you would risk your life for, brat?” 

- He turned his head slightly to look at you still frozen in place, staring at him with that doe eyed look that made his chest burn a little. Isn’t this what he wanted all along?

- “Are you simply going to stand there and gawk? I don’t bite-...well, not unless you ask me to.”

- He knew that would set you right back to your usual self,

 - “...maybe we do need to get a leash after all.”

- Sukuna internally grinned as he saw you move to the other side of the couch, ready to hear whatever more of the snarky comeback that you’d have (not that he was anticipating it, it was just the better alternative to being gaped at. Or so he told himself)

- “You ate the non chocolate covered part of the pocky by the way-”

- “As if a layer of this disgusting brown substance can make the rotten stick taste bette-”

- “Well aren’t sticks all you had to eat in yOuR TiME anyways?”- 

—-

- You somehow managed to fall asleep after the bickering, proceeding to sit in silence after you told him to not bother you while you tried to read. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were a little disappointed when he actually didn’t. Instead, he sat on the couch with a slight smirk still plastered on his face, continuing to simply gaze at you. your heart did lunges every time you slyly looked up from your book to take a peak at him. you wondered how many ways he had come up with to kill you so far. 

- On the other hand, the curse sat idly, watching you while his thoughts rumbled in his mind. Maybe killing you can be pushed off the agenda for now. There are much better ways to hurt the brat anyways aren't there? Perhaps he could use one of these brownish covered sticks to-...what is he thinking?

- He ultimately deems it stupid brat’s humane emotions and sheer stupidity that must be interfering with his thoughts.

- A loud sneeze snaps him out of his daze as he sees you slumped against a pillow, your book falling off your lap. And then he does something that he immediately decides that he would pretend to have not done for the rest of his existence. Luckily, the brat takes back control right after he does it anyways.

- But that thought slips his mind as he finds himself replaying the serene look on your face as he gently pulled the book out of your hands, and how his hands shook a little as you nuzzled your nose into the fabric of the blanket that he pulled over you. How could you have felt so calm around him?

[spyrothesquish-0006]

How the brothers react to a MC with a plushie obsession/what plushie they would get you (GN!MC)

Warnings: none besides the use of bitch and deadass, pure fluff, besides belphie possibly committing a felony

Lucifer:

• he honestly doesn't understand the plushie obsession

• he can admit that some of them are cute yeah, but why do you need more than one..?

• "Must you have them *all* on your bed?"

"Of course! What if they get lonely?"

• honestly questions if humans seriously believe plushies have emotions

• he can't tell if you really truly believe that or not, but even if you do, he loves you too much to tell you otherwise

• he might sigh and groan about it, but he does think it's kinda cute how attached you are to your plushies

• just don't try to take over *his* bed with them

• 2 plushies maximum allowed in his bed

• and only if one of them is one he specifically got for you

• 10/10 would you buy you a little black teddy bear with red eyes

• glares when you call it Mini Lucifer, but won't make you change the name

• if any of his brothers mess with your plushies there *Will* be hell to pay

Mammon:

• "Uh, isn't this a little much MC?"

• he's not against the plushies, but honestly he gets a teensy bit jealous

• "Oi, why you gotta cuddle that damn plushie? I'm right here!"

• he kinda gets it tho, his greed makes him hoard certain things, so if you feel like hoarding plushies? He can't really judge

• he will take your plushies if you're paying them more attention than him

• but gives them back immediately if you get even the slightest bit upset

• will act pissy and jealous, but secretly has about a million pics of you snuggling your plushies saved on his DDD

• will snuggle one of your plushies if you aren't around and he misses you but will NEVER ADMIT IT— "what?! No! Course I wasn't hugging no damn stuffed animal!!!"

• will buy you whatever plushie you want tho

• he can't say no to the 🥺

• would buy you a little stuffed crow and absolutely BEAMS when it becomes your favorite

• surpsingly more strict than Lucifer, only the crow is allowed in his bed because you're supposed to be snuggling HIM MC, not the plushie!!

• if any of his brothers dare say anything about your plushies, he will get angry (and totally won't buy you more out of spite, sshhhh)

Levi:

• there is no way in hell this demon doesn't also collect plushies

• thinks all of yours are adorable, especially any ones that are anime/video game characters

• will happily listen to you name off all your plushies, thinking it's the cutest thing ever

• will soon go red thinking about that

• will buy you plushies of any anime character you want, and most likely will get double for his own collection

• would 100% let you bring as many plushies into his tub-bed as you want, he doesn't have the heart to tell you no

• also he thinks it's cozy

• would buy you a little plush fish

• "h-hey, MC, I uh, I thought you m-might like this one?"

• almost goes catatonic any time he sees you snuggling it

• secretly has 1 picture saved of you snuggling it, and it will be his wallpaper till the end of time

• Will summon Lotan if anyone disrespects his Henry's plushies, how dare they

Satan:

• also didn't understand the obsession at first

• until you showed him a cat plushie and all hell broke loose

• he really only enjoys cat plushies, but won't stop you from buying other ones

• he started his own mini collection and you soon realize you created a monster

• is now unable to sleep without his cat plushie

• he hugs it when he gets angry and you aren't around to calm him down

• is THE person to go to if any plushie rips or gets a hole in it, he will sew it back up good as new

• "Aw, did it tear? Here, let me fix it. You don't need to worry."

• will also place a few spells on your plushies so none of them get tears again, he doesn't want you to get sad, 10/10 sweetheart

• if he sees a plushie he wants he will definitely give you the 🥺 until you buy it for him

• would get you one of those reversible cat plushies that show an angry face or a happy face (totally wouldn't steal it, no sir, definitely not)

• his bed is cluttered as it is with books, so he doesn't really mind how many plushies you bring to bed

• if anyone made fun of your or his plushies, he will see red

• no one says a word against the collection on his watch

Asmo:

• "Oh darling they're adorable!!! You need more!"

• Asmo loves any and everything cute and squishy

• adores your collection and insists on buying you more to decorate your room with

• absolutely understands the love of plushies, but don't say that any are cuter than he is, he just might tear up

• insists on buying you plushies on special occasions because he knows how happy they make you, and in his mind, you should always be smiling

• would buy you a squishy pink heart with a smiley face on it

• gets the warmest feeling in his chest any time you use it as a pillow

• he doesn't really care how many you bring to bed, but they might end up on the floor...

• if you get sad because they fall off the bed, he will politely suggest maybe bringing only one or two to bed

• won't stand for any insult towards the plushies, and will not hesitant to smack a bitch

• you're his love, no one gets to make you feel bad about what makes you happy!

Beel:

• he's used to belphie always having his pillow so he isn't phased in the slightest by your plushies

• thinks they're all so cute like you 🥺

• he really likes hugging them if you aren't around, they're small and squishy so they remind him of you

• is VERY careful around your plushies, he doesn't want to accidentally tear one, he would cry

• might be best if you don't buy any food themed plushies because he may eat one on accident

• would buy you the biggest teddy bear he can find with 0 hesitation

• "Hey, MC! I saw this while I was out, do you like it?"

• the bear is literally as big as he is, and he's smiling like he just won the lottery when he sees how excited you get about it

• took a picture of you napping on it once and he stares at the pic whenever he misses you

• it's not that he minds how many plushies you bring to bed, the issue is space

• hungy boi is a Mountain so you can really only fit one or two in the bed with you

• if anyone said anything about your plushies, this sweet boi will be on the defense

• would just stand behind you with a death glare and send anyone who's rude to you running for the hills

Belphie:

• you thought your plushie addiction is bad? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA—

• he practically sleeps on a bed of squishmallows, belphie 10000000% understands the obsession and encourages it

• more plushies mean a cozier nest to sleep in, right?

• would definitely tease you for it, but it's all in good fun, he can't judge

• "Oh? Does the little human need their stuffie to sleep? C'mere and lay down."

• he never minds you bringing plushies to bed, in fact, he encourages you to bring *more*

• you still have to snuggle him too tho, thems the rules

• will buy you a big cow plushie that doubles as a pillow

• absolutely delighted when you bring it to bed because it's big enough for the both of you to snuggle

• any time you go out with Belphie, the two of you will come home with new plushies, there is no exception

• the pile is always growing and no one can stop it

• if anyone says anything about the plushies he will deadass commit a murder

• no one disrespects the plushie nest and lives

[lolita-lollipop]

Hi could I get some headcanons for a yandere demon who was accidentally summoned by a child and the demon realizes that the small child just wanted someone to play with. The parents neglects the child and even when the kid comes into the room with the demon the parents are like “go play somewhere else sweetie” so the demon is basically just like “yup this child is mine” and just takes the child to the underworld with them, thank you 🥺

I started a one shot on this, and then realized that you wanted headcannons, so there is totally gojnng to be a part two of this that is the actual process. Kk, into it now.

I had to skip through th me “kidnapping” one, because there isn’t much to describe about it.

(I can’t tag you since your anonymous, but Just know I’ll post it in the next few days)

———————————————————————

-he, of course, meets you after you summon him with the ritual you saw in a picture book. He’s actually quite suprised that a child summoned him just to play trains in a sandbox. It isn’t like he can go anywhere till you dismiss one of the candle flames, so he just sits down and humors you.

-he is quite confused on the fact that you want him to play with you, and not some of your friends. You seem like a sweet little one, very polite indeed, and you haven’t even judged him on his demonic appearance, usually humans run screaming from the red tint in his skin, black eyes, and large horns. So he is very intrigued by you.

-usually, he’s not one for human sympathy, mainly because they treat him likes he’s some monster from hell (which he is), But it still hurts. You on the other hand, don’t even seem to care at all about the fact, you are treating him like some friend, not a demonic pet for you to order around. He immediately feels a bond between the two of you, it might be one sided, but still, you are just too sweet for this blasted world you’ve been shoved in.

-when he learns that this precious’s little thing that is you, has never felt any sort of love, even though you are just a ball of heaven, he is angry. Humans are nasty, vile creatures, the one time, the ONE TIME that one isn’t taking advantage of him, someone is openly hurting them? This is where the yandere-ness starts, he might not have known you for long, but he immediately feels protective, how could someone hurt such a little thing like you? That should be counted as a criminal act.

-when you let him out of the star (with his careful instruction to only blow away one of the lines) he’ll immediately grab your hand, and hoist you up to his chest, which by the way, is 8 feet off the ground. He’ll ask you where these “parents” of yours are, whilst rubbing circles back and forth on your shoulders with his warm hands. You point towards the little blue house where you lived, and he’ll go walking in there like he owns the place. When you say you made a new friend, your mommy jsut sheigged you off and told you to go play because she’s busy and can’t deal with you. This triggers him to a whole new level.

-he’ll take you back outside immediately, and set you in the center of the star, shooting a flew unstoppable flames into the blue house, then he’ll ask you to draw a new line for the star, and you and him both are transported into the world of the under, the last remains of earth in Your mind consisted of a few feminine screams.

“This child is mine now. Filthy human.”

Treatment:

-when arriving in literal hell, you would find that it’s surprisingly normal, actually pretty beautiful if you were to ask me. The sky was black, and the plants and ground were red. But it was such a pretty sight. You wowed at whatever this place was, while holding onto the side of his arm.

-this man, treats you like a little princess, his little princess of course. He dresses you in the finest of clothing, feeds you the best food, and plays the best games with you. He chooses to ill the role of your parent, mainly because the human scum who called themselves your biological parents, were cowards, and didn’t deserve the title. You’ll see him attempt to imitate a human parent, but soon just say “Aw fuck it” and go his own way.

-he doesn’t really get mad at you, in fact it’s very hard for him to even feel slightly annoyed at you, none of the things you do are intentional, so most of the things that could annoy him get blamed on someone else.

-is the most overprotective being you’ll ever meet, not letting you do even the simplest of tasks because “you could get hurt”, apparently you are too fragile to complete basic tasks. He’ll help you get dressed, he’ll fed you, he’ll literally carry you everywhere, all the while he’ll be scaring away any other demons from his manor in case they smelled the sweet child that you are, and wanted it for themselves.

-you’re his best friend, but even so, you have to go back home at some point right? Wrong, he’ll make you think as if whatever place you were before, where you were neglected, and ignored, was nothing but a dream, when you ask any questions about it, he’ll shush you and tell you that it’s nap time or something.

-he doesn’t care at all if you miss your mommy and daddy, he never did understand why humans could form attachments to people who mistreat them. He’ll grow angered, not at you of course, you aren’t trying to do it on purpose, but more so at everyone in your past life that’s keeping you from him. So he might pull a few strings with some humans int he surface that are in debt to him, and bam, your old school, your fathers house, your friends horns, everything in town, has now burst into flames.

-nicknames include: littles, little one, child

Punishment:

-as I said he doesn’t get mad very easily, busy he also won’t tolerate a certain level of disobedience. That being said, he will never even think about embolism any form of physical pain upon you. Resorting to more tactical options.

-hell just scare you, like letting you wander out when it’s parent of that darker times (they don’t have days down here), and letting any demons come close to you, you of course, beings tiny little human faces with a huge snake thing, scream and cry for your best friend to come save you. Which he does, and engulfs you in his arms, boucning you up and down while shushing Youa Dan striking your hair.

-hell lecture you and tell you this is why you can’t leave him, then changing you out of the dirty clothing, and tucking you into bed.

Cuddles:

The two of you have quite the size difference, so snuggling with him would be hard, but not impossible. He is actually quite gentle with you, noting how easy it would be to crush you under his weight, so he’ll gently set you on top of him, over his chest, where he’ll wrap his arms around your sister, and keep his hands over your shoulders.

-or he’ll set your form in his lap, protective encasing his arms over your chest while you rest your head in his.

*bonus

-where he comes from, it’s a sight of dominance to hiss at others, so you’ll literally be just perched in his lap while he’s hissing like a cat at another demon like 👁👄👁

———————————————————————

Thanks for requesting, have a great day anon, bye!

[vibraniumwing]

soft.

a bucky barnes x fem!reader wherein the reader comes home to see the super soldier with a toddler tucked in his lap.

WARNING: none! (all mistakes within the story are mine)

A/N: soft and domestic (and clingy) bucky, anyone? i’ve written this with tfaws bucky in mind after episode five where he was on the couch and smiled after seeing sam’s nephews. so yes now i present to you bucky with a child bcs we need that content, ,, good bYe for i shall be drowning in my own feels.

---

“Do you really have to go, doll?” Bucky asked, watching you by the frame of your shared bedroom door with his hands crossed against his chest. A heavy sigh heaving from his lips as his eyes observed you pick out a shirt to wear, hands grasping on his black shirt and opted to wear that; a small smile formed on his lips as you slipped into the clothing piece, adoring how big it looks on you.

You turned to him with your hand on your waist, an eyebrow raised, “Unless you want to starve for a whole month then fine I won’t go to the grocery” you say teasingly, checking yourself out in the mirror before walking up to him, arms linking around his neck loosely; his hands circling around your waist in a protective manner as he pulls you into him. “I won’t be gone for the whole day, James.”

He groaned softly, wanting nothing more than to accompany you but seeing that you were going with your mother, he opted out. “You always say that then be gone for the whole afternoon.” he grumbles in between the kisses he gives you. “You and your mom take so much time at the grocery store.”

You threw your head back and laughed, finding his small whiny state adorable. You retract your arms from behind his neck and cupped the sides of his face, squishing his cheeks gently. “You sound like a child, Buck. I promise I won’t be long. Besides, you have Alpine to keep you company.” you motion your head to the sleeping cat on the bed.

“Now please let me go so I can leave now and be back sooner.” you tell him, pressing one final kiss to his lips before ducking out of his embrace, making your way to the front door and grabbing your car keys before turning back to see him standing behind you with a small pout on his lips (albeit he would never admit to doing such an act),

You grinned and walked up to him, reaching up to press a small kiss on his lips. “Sometimes it's hard to believe you’re this big scary dude that can take twenty men down in a course of ten minutes when all I see is this big baby.” you tease, a hand snaking up to the back of his head to play with the ends of his hair softly.

“Doll wait before you go” Bucky starts off, holding onto you, cheeks lightly flushed as he hesitated with his words, clearing his throat lightly before looking away, “Can you set up that damn Netflix thing on the TV before you leave?”

Your gaze on him softened even more and nodded, leading him to the living room and set the whole thing up for him, handing him the remote right after. “I’m guessing you can manage now?” he smiled shyly, the area around his eyes crinkling as he nodded. “Yeah, I will. Thanks, doll.”

“I’ll be back later, I love you, Buck!” You bid him a goodbye, looking back at him from the door and gave him a small wave, the male waving back before focusing on the TV, searching for that one movie you suggested he watch.

“What was that movie called again? RIght, The Breakfast Club”

---

Not even half-way through the movie, Bucky had somehow fallen asleep on the couch, not finding the first few minutes of the film entertaining. He somehow fell deep into slumber that he didn’t even notice the front door of the house opening until he felt something being placed on his stomach.

He stirred awake and the first thing his blurry vision could make out is the outline of a toddler sitting on him. “Hey James, I’m leaving Hugo with you and Y/N for the weekend. Our babysitter cancelled out last minute and I’ve been trying to call my sister but she hasn’t picked up any calls.” Damian, your younger brother said in a rush, putting down your nephew’s baby bag on the coffee table. “Thanks James, we owe you one.”

But before Bucky could get a say in any of this, Damian was already out the door and the sound of a car pulling away was followed. Barely half-awake, he stared at the tyke who was staring right back at him with his innocent E/C doe eyes. “What do I do with you?”

He takes Hugo in his arms as he sits up, placing him on his lap, his metal arm reaching over to pause television. “Y/N’s better at this than I am.” he mumbles, watching the child look around the room before he started to fidget on the larger male’s lap, wanting to roam around.

Bucky sighs, “Now why won’t Y/N answer her calls?” he asks the tiny human who was still staring up at him. He reaches over to grab his phone and dials your number, only to hear it ring from the other side of the house, inside your room. He dropped the call and placed his phone inside his pocket, now wondering what he could do to keep the small person alive.

“Usually Y/N deals with you.” He says, watching the small child struggle on his lap, clearly wanting to get down. Bucky finally gets what Hugo wanted to do and sets him down on the carpeted floor, watching the toddler (wobbly) walk around the space freely.

Seeing that the child was doing alright after finding a small fixation with Alpine who was now resting near the couch, he returned his attention back to the TV to resume watching the movie. His attention split in half as he continued to glance back at the kid who was now playing with the toys you had brought him and kept at in a basket in the corner of the living room where you deemed it “Hugo’s Area”

Bucky was finally getting into the film, entertainment written all over his face at the sight of the students dancing around the library until it morphed into one of concern when a small bonk followed by a loud cry resonated the room making him look over at Hugo who was already flushed from crying.

He paused the movie again and rushed over to Hugo’s side, taking the small boy in his arms, cradling him on his lap as he tried to calm him down. “Now kid, don’t cry on me. C’mon” he mumbled, raising him up lightly to look at his forehead as he searched for any wounds, relieved to find none.

“C’mon James, what would Y/N do…” He said to himself, standing up as he moved around and cradled the crying child, trying to remember what you would do whenever he has meltdowns like this.

“Oh god, right!” Bucky exclaimed as he remembered, quickly going to the couch and sat down, placing Hugo on his lap as he gently placed his vibranium hand on the back of his head and his flesh one cupping the smaller one’s cheek, wiping the tears that glistened on his smooth skin.

Seeing how the toddler was starting to calm down, he carefully spoke, “Now you gotta work with me, little one.” Bucky then proceeded to blow softly on his face, remembering how you would do that when Hugo was having a fit. “Now can you do that for me as well?” He asked, encouraging the child with a small smile.

Once he felt the kid do the same thing, he repeated the steps a few more times until he was completely calm, letting the child snuggle up against his chest, feeling how he would occasionally let out a small shuddering sob from time to time, making Bucky laugh at the adorable action. “Now what do you want to do?” he gently asked, the cold surface of his metal hand that caressed the child’s back making small bubbles of laughter elicit from the baby.

“Bucky wead [ read ] pwease?” was all that left the two-year old’s mouth, causing a small surprise from the older. Hugo then pushed himself off from Bucky’s chest and turned to his small corner of the room, raising his small arm and pointing his even smaller finger towards the bookshelf that was filled to the brim with story books.

A chuckle left the soldier’s lips, “Alright then, little dude. Go take your pick.” he then proceeded to let him down and watch as the toddler walked his way towards the array of books and picked out one, running back towards him with a big smile.

“Alright big guy, what do you have for me?” Bucky asked, taking the tyke in his arms once again, taking the book from Hugo’s hands. He let out a (very) fake gasp of excitement which made the toddler laugh out loud as his reaction, making small little wiggles of his own eagerness for the book.

Bucky shifted in his seat a little to be more comfortable, letting Hugo snuggle up to him as he opened the book and started to read, “Llama Llama, red pajama, reads a story with his mama.”

---

You were elated to finally come back home and fall into your lover’s arms from a long day of errands with your mom. After the Target trip with your mom, you had to drive her back home and help her with her own groceries and pack up everything with her over at your childhood home一 with an addition of having a few serious talks with her about your future.

“Seriously, Y/N. When are you going to give me a grandchild?” Your mother poked your sides as you helped her bring in the bags filled with her stuff. Ever since Damian introduced Hugo to the family, she’d been on your heels about when you and Bucky would bring one to them as well; admittedly you and him had been in a much longer relationship than Damian and his wife which surprises everyone even more.

You shrugged, rolling your eyes in a playful manner. “I don’t know, mom. I think I’m content being with Bucky for now.” you answered truthfully, setting the items on the kitchen island and turned to her, “Besides, we have Alpine! Our cat!”

This made your mother sigh, laughing softly at your antics. “I know my sweet girl, but I’m just so excited to see a little you or James run around with Hugo.” Her answer causes your heart to swell at the thought of starting a family with him some day; conversations like this with him are normal but are always caught in a fleeting moment so you were never certain about his opinions on the matter.

“Well you just have to wait and see, ma.”

Taking the bags in your hand, you walked over to the door and opened it with ease, expecting to see Bucky waiting for you on the other side only to be greeted by none. Your eyebrows were furrowed as you carefully stepped inside, assuming he had fallen asleep as he waited for you until you heard his quiet voice resonating through the living room. “Little llama, don’t you know? Mama llama loves you so”

You peeked at the source of the sound and what you saw made you just melt on the spot. Bucky had Hugo on his lap, your nephew playing with the thumb of his artificial arm as he listened to the story that he was barely paying attention to as he was already falling asleep.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment, you graced on over to the kitchen in silence and arranged everything as quiet as you can. The smile on your face growing bigger at the thought of how much of a good father Bucky could be; the sight of him with your nephew caused a thousand butterflies to dance around in your stomach freely.

“You’re back, doll?” Bucky’s quiet voice made you jump, head whipping to his direction where he stood with Hugo fast asleep in his arms.

You nod and walk towards him, offering to take him from his arms and Bucky disagreed, pulling away from your attempts. “Hugo’s with me, I’ll take him to bed and I’ll help you finish out here, alright?”

Chuckling softly, you agree and reach up to place a quick kiss on your nephew’s forehead, moving aside so Bucky can place him down inside your room.

You were folding up the plastic bags when you felt a pair of arms sneak up and circle your waist, capturing you in a back hug. Your back was flat against his chest, the warmth from his body making you relax in his arms. Turning around, you let your arms snake up around his neck, your hands playing with the ends of his hair, his physique visibly loosening up. “So your brother came here earlier and said you weren’t picking up your calls.”

“I forgot my phone, i know.” you told him, throwing your head back slightly to let out a soft groan of annoyance at yourself before looking back at him. You met his gaze and his eyes were filled with adoration and love with a spark of something you can’t seem to pinpoint. “What’s going through that head of yours, James?”

He hummed softly, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, “I was just thinking of how I want to have a family of my own with you.” he answered truthfully, not finding anything shameful in admitting his thoughts. “The afternoon I spent with Hugo made me realize I want that for us as well.” his words were soft and dripping with enthusiasm at the thought of being with you for the rest of your days.

This made your cheeks flush lightly, a happy smile resting on your lips as you were already in agreement of his words, “I’ve been thinking the exact same thing, Bucky. I can’t wait to have our own little minion running around the house.” you admitted, this time making Bucky smile even wider than yours, happy that you had the same thought.

“Also, not to brag but I think I’m his favourite now.” Bucky said out of nowhere, grabbing the small carton of chocolate milk from behind you and letting you go, opening the drink and chugging it down in one go.

You rolled your eyes at his words, playfully flipping him off as you sauntered into the pantry where you were arranging your stock of goods. “I highly doubt that, he loves me way more.”

“That’s what you think but Hugo made me read his favourite book to him so now I’m his favourite. He even said it himself.”

“Oh no he didn’t!”

---

TAGLIST: @lunalovecroft @anchoeritic @harrysweasleys @https-bvcky @luana @weasleytwins-41 @angelsgrxzer

for those whose usernames are in bold, it means i cannot tag you for some reason. join my taglist! it's linked in the masterlist <3

[sun96moon]

listening to you is my favourite one

genre: one-shot, fluff, romance, angst

pairing: NCT Kim Doyoung x female reader

details: high school au!; low self-esteem, introverted girl character

summary: one day at a school event you hear a song sang by the prettiest voice you ever expirienced and it even makes you cry. 

others: Johnny

words: 6.8k

The life of a high schooler like you wasn’t anything interesting. You had just started the first year here and your closest friends weren’t in your class so you had to adapt from the beginning. It wasn’t easy for an introvert like you – your favourite things to do included reading books, listening to music and writing poems. People from your class had similar interests as befits humanities. In November you had known closer about five guys from your class; it was National Teachers Day and a school hall was full. You were sitting next to a boy from your class, Julian. He was a little weird but you liked similar music and he usually talked interesting stuff about faith and nature. You had a good view at the stage when two students came in with microphones and hosted the event. You weren’t concerned about it until they presented a few students who were about to sing in a while. There was a girl from your class, Tiffany who you knew by sight from middle school as someone famous who sings a lot at school events; four other people you didn’t know.

The first person to sing was a skinny dark-haired boy. You were sure that you have never seen him before because if you had – you would find him hot and remember that. He was singing a beautiful ballad that you had already known; Someone like you by Adele. It was a stock song but you never heard someone covering it like this – sounded even better than the original. He sang it beautifully, the song sounded intimidating and heavenly at the same time. His face was full of passion, he acted as if he wasn’t here, at this small school stage but somewhere far away, where random people present at this place couldn’t enter.

“Hey, Y/n? Are you like totally ok? Y/n?”

You felt someone’s hand on your arm. It was too real, you had the impression that this touch awakened you from the prettiest dream.

“Hey, you really…”

You looked to the right at Julian.

“What? I’m obviously fine.”

“But you want some tissues? You are crying, aren’t you?”

You touched your face and it was wet for real, then looked at the stage; the charming boy finished and made a bow to the audience.

“Oh well, can I have some?” you turned around to Julian again. He gave you a pack and focused on some girl who started her performance.

“Who is he? I mean, did you see him like ever? I didn’t.” you blew your nose.

“Me neither. But I bet he’s older. Talk to Tiffany maybe.”

“Ugh. I would rather not maybe. Hey, but I have Daisy in this whole singing group, you know?” our school had a vocal group. There were plenty of people from different classes. This group was hosted by the older brother of your best friend, Daisy.

A week had passed from National Teacher’s Day and nothing happened. Occasionally you were seeing the dark-haired boy somewhere in corridors. He usually talked with groups of people, he probably was very popular. In the morning you met with Daisy on a bus and asked her if she’s free during a lunch break this day.

“So… can you tell me who is that boy who sang Adele’s song at the last assembly?” on the first floor was a place called ‘behind grids’, there were a few tables separated from the corridors by these grids and today you were here early enough to have a seat with Daisy. But also the weather today was nice so a lot of people spent breaks outside.

“That’s why you wanted to meet with me so bad? Y/n…”

“No, come on. When was the last time we ate lunch together? Like? A long time ago, right?”

“Yeah” she laughed “I was just joking, you know. Of course, I can. He’s my buddy.”

You frowned.

“But I don’t like him, what is that look, sis.” she said quickly “I just talked to him once or twice. So he’s from 2A and is called Kim Doyoung.”

“2A? Wow… so he’s smart af. Math and psychics class.”

“He’s new at school. He moved from a bigger city. And he’s very nice. Do you want me to introduce you?” she started eating her sandwiches with Nutella.

“What? No way. Just asking.” you shrugged.

“Y/n, uh…”

You looked around and spotted him. The corridors were now full of people who wanted to meet up during the longest break. He was standing with a group of boys and laughing. Looked great in simple dark jeans and a grey track jacket.

“Do you want to be by yourself all the time and just crushing at some guys? Look, if you would just talk to him…”

“No, please. Can’t hear you.” you opened your bag, took a book for literature out and pretend that you’re reading. Daisy just sighed and continued eating.

You were too shy to even think about the possibility of looking close up at him. Your friends were mostly done with your low self-esteem but they didn’t know your past experiences with boys. You usually didn’t tell them much about it because you felt embarrassed. You also sighed kind of answering your friend. These thoughts wouldn’t let you focus on the book at all.

“Sorry, Daisy… It’s just, you know, I can’t talk with boys” you said feeling guilty for being too harsh. She looked up. ”I don’t mean Julian, he’s a weirdo, right?”

“A little” she laughed. “But don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

You rolled your eyes. And oh, well today – you were going to do THE research about Kim Doyoung.

Monday wasn’t a likeable day for most of the students but it was for you. Monday was a day when after two days without seeing Doyoung you were finally able to do so. You almost knew his timetable by heart; found out that he has a band called Seven able and of course is popular. About three months had passed and you began to feel too much for this boy – a boy who you didn’t even know at all. Daisy was repeating herself all the time that he doesn’t have a girlfriend and probably doesn’t like anyone. The other friends were also nagging permanently. Them but also your trembling feelings propelled you to do something.

So this Monday was also special due to another reason – it was Valentine’s Day. For you, it meant just one thing – that you have a chance to express your feelings in a best-introverted way. It was hidden in a sky-blue envelope which then was hidden between Macbeth’s pages.                                  

“So… you did it, Crybaby?” Julian asked, sitting next to you on the floor while you were waiting for the next lesson to start.

You looked at him with a crooked smile.

“Stop. Calling. Me. Like. That. And the answer is: yes.”

“Wooow, I’m proud of you. Actually, what did you write in that love letter?”

“Not much though. Only that I like him and his singing… you know and I’m sorry about saying this that way but I’m too shy.”

“Cute and how did you sign?”

“Didn’t. I mean… just wrote “girl from 1D”. I don’t expect anything, I just wanted him to know.”

Julian rolled his eyes. Math was about to start, it was your fifth lesson and you were wondering if he had got your letter already.

“Y/n!”

You were standing in the dressing room, scrolling through Spotify playlists you made and deciding what to listen to on your way home. When your name had been shouted you almost dropped your phone on the tiles.

“Daisy, oh my. Keep calm, can you?”

“Hi! I have news.” she run to you, smiling and immediately made a serious face. You were looking at her suspiciously as she started looking out. “Doyoung is in a band. I talked with him for a while and he said they’re having a little concert today. It’s a party for Valentine’s Day. Did you hear the other school is doing this party, right? So are you coming?”

You widened your eyes at her. She was talking so fast that you barely recorded her words.

“Wait up, honey. A party? You know I’m not into stuff like this, it isn’t a good plan.” you plugged headphones into the phone and popped on the coat.

“But he’s gonna be there, Y/n! That would be a perfect occasion to meet him without making something stupid. Just think about it and text me, a party starts at 6 pm.”

“Yeah, bye-bye. See you tomor- I mean later.” you left quickly. Daisy had one lesson more than you today and it meant there’s no chance she could convince you to go to that party. If you would be going home after school together she probably wouldn’t talk about anything else but this.

A few weeks after Valentine’s you again were standing in the dressing room, which was placed in the basement. It was Wednesday; Daisy wasn’t going home with you this day, she had vocal group practice. Fortunately, because you were tired enough of listening to her whining about you not going to that fabulous Valentine’s party. You put one arm into the sleeve and the music in your headphones stopped playing.

“Ugh, damn” you got down to lift your phone which had fallen out from your coat’s pocket and was playing kpop freaking loud.

“It’s Taemin, isn’t it?” the voice was unusual and unknown. You looked up and stood up immediately. A tall boy was standing in the centre of the room, you were squeezed between a wall and racks full of winter coats and jackets. He was looking at you patiently as you were trying to mute the music and take off headphones in chaos.

“Um… yes” you muttered and looked him in the eyes all nervous.

The boy standing a few meters in front of you was Doyoung. He smiled and approached you slowly as more people had walked into the dressing room. You regretted putting on a coat, your cheeks were probably burning on the finest fire right now.

“So do you like kpop?” he was standing exactly next to you, dressed in a black long midi coat and a black beret.

“Yes… um… You too?” could only imagine how stupid you should be looking right now not able to look him in the face because of embarrassment; you sighed to calm yourself a little.

“Hi, Kim!” this loud yelp belonged to Tiffany, obviously. You took your chance and looked up at him when his head was turning around. “Oh, Y/s, hello.”

You just waved as she stopped nearby and put your bag on. Why are you even here, couldn’t the ground just swallow you up and teleport to your home?

“What’s up? I’m late on my vocal practice, you sure don’t want to join us?” she was speaking loud and fast, you wondered if it annoyed him as much as you.

“No, thank you. We are leaving anyway.” he smiled while looking at you.

We? Like who? You smiled at him casually, at least you wished it looked like that. Tiffany came up to her stuff hanging carelessly somewhere, humming the same melody as ever.

“Can we go outside?” you nodded at his question, looking at his hands hidden in coat pockets.

“I’m sorry but is Tiffany your friend? I feel like I brassed her too much nasty…” he broke the silence while you were walking through the hall on the ground floor. The building was quiet at this hour, only a few people who finished lessons or were late for extracurricular classes were passing by.

“Tiffany? No, no, we just… we are in the same class.” really you were struggling while saying a few words at him? Y/n, please get your shit together!! You stopped right in front of the main door to the school building and sighed.

“I’m Y/n. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself properly…” Doyoung was opening the door but stopped and turned around with a gummy smile.

“My bad, I didn’t also.” he laughed. You smiled like a dummy and thanked yourself for not calling him by the name randomly. “I’m Doyoung. It’s nice meeting you, I didn’t imagine finding here someone who likes kpop that way.” he chuckled and opened the door for you. “So which way are you going?”

“There, um… to the bus stop.”

“Okay, then I’ll walk you.” he smiled, oh God what he was so happy for? Because of talking to a stupid ass like you?

“But, um, it’s fine you don’t have to” what if Julian or someone from your class would be near this place and, oh dear, would say something embarrassing? “You’re not heading home?”

“I have some time until my mum will arrive here. She’s picking me up today. So don’t worry” he checked his phone and slipped it back into the pocket. “we can talk a little, Y/n.”

Hearing your name said by that voice of him made you even more stressed. Like is that even the same name? It sounded so unreal.

“So who do you listen to? When it comes to me, I only listen to Super Junior, Girls’ Generation, Shinee, EXO, IU…” he frowned “That’s mostly it”.

The weather was so fresh and cold. You almost felt like your hot cheeks are steaming. The sky was grey, full of wet clouds, the park outside school also looked somehow grey; bare old trees and alleys paved in wet autumn leaves which lost theirs beautiful bright colours. This sad-looking environment reminded you about the pink eyeshadow you put on this morning. Well thankfully, you put any make-up on.

“I know all of them but listen to Shinee and EXO… and I know some of IU’s songs. I like some other groups too”.

“Okay so let me add you on Facebook and we can text? Are you okay with that? You will send me your recommendations and I would mine?” you two stopped behind the bus stop. It was almost empty, only two elder women sit there chatting.

“Um, sure it’s totally fine. I have some playlists on Spotify that I can proudly share” you chuckled a little.

“I’m looking forward to listening then! Request sent. Ah, something is coming…”

You turned around, saw your bus and sighed. So that’s it.

“Right, so… I have to go. It was… really nice to meet you” you smiled shyly waving to him.

“You too, so see you tomorrow probably.” he smiled back again with this gummy smile.

The bus stopped and you came in, headphones left somewhere in your pocket. You tried to retrospect actually what happened, smiled to yourself but then shook your head. It was nice talking to him but what do you even expect? That’s it, enough. He won’t notice you the following day, right? You would message a little with each other and he would stop responding to you. Maybe he would find out about your crush at him because you’d make a clown of yourself. You sighed and accepted the request of the account you checked almost every day.

The next morning you went to a different bus to avoid coming to school with Daisy. You probably couldn’t speak with her like a normal person without blabbing about this awkward meeting with Doyoung. Sometimes – when you weren’t daydreaming – you were someone realistic. Until Doyoung and you wouldn’t have a proper conversation there is no need to tell anyone. If he would forget – you would feel like a fool. But with your friends knowing – you would feel and come over like a fool. Not that you weren’t feeling like one right now; dressed in a cute skirt just because maybe Kim Doyoung would recognize you and say ‘hi’.

Yesterday he didn’t text you about these playlists on Spotify and you also didn’t text him. It made you a little bit sad but you didn’t want to impose on him.

The first lesson was in the classroom right next to the entrance. While you were chatting with some girls from your class and Julian, he turned to you ‘oh, Doyoung’. You blushed and looked behind you. There he was in that classy black coat with headphones, heading to the dressing room. He almost disappeared behind a wall but at the same time looked up. You gasped seeing him taking a step back and looking at you with wide eyes. Oh, dear.

“Hi!” he waved and smiled.

Tiffany was always late in the morning so he’s obviously not waving to her. You waved back slowly while your face was probably in its hundredth phase of redness. He left you with that hand of yours hanging in the air.

“Hey, who’s that?” Nadia asked. You turned around and met your friends pending eyes. “I mean, I saw him a few times but… I don’t know”.

“What’s more what was that, Y/n? You like, waved to him?” Julian was looking at you suspiciously.

You blushed. Okay, you didn’t have any plan for a situation like that. You didn’t think it would happen so fast.

“Um, we just like talked once. That’s it”. Well, that was true so whatever.

“Oh, right!!! I saw him at that party on Valentine’s! Y/n, are you two close? I would really like to meet him”.

“Oh, just a simple talk?” Julian wasn’t content with your answer but you knew he wouldn’t fatigue you with too many questions. “Actually, Nadia she’s in love with him so don’t be so excited.”

The bell rang so none heard your intense and loud cursing at Julian.

 After a few lessons, when your class had history, you got a message on Facebook from Doyoung. Five minutes passed from the beginning, the teacher – who was also an educator of your class and a very priss person – was about to pick someone to the oral answer. Everyone was stressed and quiet but not your phone. It vibrated loud af and you just HAD to blush. The teacher looked in your direction but it was Callum next to you who she decided to punish. Well, she was also absent-minded though.

‘Hi, Y/n. How are you? Would you have some time today to meet? Maybe during some break? @.@‘

‘Hi! I would be really happy to meet, are you free on lunch break, maybe?’

‘Sure thing! Let’s meet beside the library, see you.’

Callum got B so he wasn’t that mad. If she would ask you – F in all alphabets of the world. Maybe because yesterday you were doing nothing but listening to all of your Spotify’s playlists just to make sure they are good enough…

Right now you were stressing yourself out and waiting near the library. Fortunately, none asked where are you going to eat lunch today. But it didn’t mean that you couldn’t be spotted by some of your friends while spending the break with him. Well, whatever it literally is the least of your problems at this moment. More important is: how cringe would your first proper conversation come out.

He came with a friend who you didn’t company at all. He was even taller than Doyoung even though from your perspective Doyoung was like the tallest guy you had ever seen and talked to. He also was handsome and looked more muscular than Doyoung.

“Yo, I’m Johnny” he smiled and waved at you.

“We’re at the same class, I know Johnny for a long time actually. Our families were spending a lot of time together when we were younger.” Doyoung said after his friend left to spend the break with his friends outside.

It was really cute that he was telling you about his friendship with Johnny. Meanwhile, you went to a more quiet spot on the stairs and sat next to each other. Doyoung today was dressed in a flannel shirt not buttoned-up with a white t-shirt underneath, he also was wearing glasses.

“So… you’re from here?” you didn’t want to come up as some creep so you pretended that you know nothing at all.

“No, I moved here on holiday this year. But I know the city well because Johnny lives here and my grandparents too. I was spending here a lot of time when I was younger. Oh, and guys from my band are from here also…”

“Ah, you have a band?…” he looked at you “I mean, I remember you… when you sang at school assembly once” It wasn’t embarrassing much, you’re not gonna tell him that you literally cried because of his voice.

“Yes, that was me” he smiled “Our band is not a big deal, I just really like to sing and my friends like music too. So we play little concerts sometimes.” he made a pause “actually I’m surprised. I thought that people usually don’t listen to these songs at that kind of events.”

You widened your eyes and felt as if he caught you bang to rights.

“Um… I do. I like music very much so I always gladly listen to these people singing.” Well, that was true. It was also true that you didn’t hear anyone else singing that amazing at your school as him but it was too cringy to say. At least for now. He smiled and nodded.

“Speaking of music. Tell me something about your favourite kpop bands and can you send me these playlists right now?”

Your relationship with Doyoung was growing little by little. You mostly were spending time only at school, speaking about music, kpop stuff, lessons, exams and your mutual friends. Daisy and your other friends had no idea that someone like Doyoung likes kpop, so you transformed a little the story about your first meeting. Anyway, only Daisy had her suspicions that maybe you’re crushing on Doyoung because you didn’t want to tell anyone. And of course Julian was aware of that but he stayed quiet. At this moment you were sitting in your French and the teacher was talking about an exchange with some high school from France. Your school was supposed to host an event organized by your French teacher called ‘French days’.

“We will have some karaoke or vocal contest, do you know someone who could sing there? Tiffany, obviously you know some people.” your teacher was very excited as always.

Tiffany chomped once on her gum and looked at you.

“Doyoung, right? Maybe he can come with the band.”

You were looking at her surprised. Why is she even asking you?

“Who is Doyoung, girls, hm?” the teacher approached you “Just ask as many people as you can, the more the merrier.”

“Yes… I think he would like to sing with his band there” you said, “I can ask him”.

Tiffany smiled like she would get paralyzed. Definitely she had some problem with you being friends with Doyoung, because he was popular and you weren’t. Tiffany probably just thought that someone as famous as her should be friends with him instead of you.

At the next break, you bumped into Doyoung at the library. He was searching for Mansfield’s stories so you helped him.

“Hey, do you also maybe play concerts at school events as Seven able?” you spoke to him while you were leaving the room.

“Yeah, sometimes. If someone asks. But why?”

“Um.. you know I was wondering if you could sing here during these whole ‘French days’ or something? The teacher asked if we know someone who would like to take part in a music competition.”

“Sounds great, you know. I would like to show the band more, we’re not that famous. So every opportunity to present ourselves is good.”

“I would love to hear something. I don’t know any of your songs, you know?” you two sat next to each other on the floor outside one classroom which wasn’t crowded.

“Ah… I didn’t show you?” he smiled shyly “Well there is not much. But, hey maybe you would help me out and pick a song that we could play there?”

“Me?” you blushed “I’m, yes, sure, with delight.”

“Okay, let me just write it down…”

The next day you stayed after classes at school with Doyoung who brought his laptop to show you Seven able’s songs. You were sitting ‘behind grids’, the school was almost empty. After listening to all of these songs you handed him a small piece of paper with your favourite tracks.

“So, yeah, these two… I think I like them the most. I mean I like all of them but with these two I think you can show the most…” you smiled at him.

“Thanks, Y/n” he chuckled “I agree with you, I also like to sing demanding songs that can show my skills well”.

Fortunately, his band’s songs didn’t hit you such as his solo performance from November. You stayed calm and tried to focus. He trusted you and showed you every single song, even the ones that they didn’t play anywhere yet. Every song had a little history behind it, that he told you before playing it from their private channel on Youtube. It was probably the longest time that you spent together until now.

“I would take that” he folded the paper you gave him and slipped it into his trousers pocket.

The next few days Doyoung didn’t text you, you also didn’t meet him among classes. Once you sent him a link to a song that you thought he would definitely like and he just thanked you. Right before the weekend, you saw him while sitting with your friends outside, he was coming behind the school building with Johnny for their PE class. He only waved back at you but didn’t smile as he usually does at your presence. Something was not okay. You had no idea if something bad happened or he just hadn’t any free time to talk to you. Of course, you panicked a little that maybe it was your fault but you couldn’t think of anything that could cause that kind of his behaviour. You were thinking about it probably too much and was worried but tried to pretend everything is fine.

On Friday you were leaving the dressing room with Julian, you two were sometimes using the same bus when going home after school. Julian walked before you, stopped to let someone through the main door to the room and looked at you over his shoulder. Doyoung came in and looked straight into your eyes. It was so intense that you had to drop your gaze.

“Hello, Y/n” he broke the silence “Hi,” he said to Julian.

“Hi, Doyoung” you had no idea what you could say more to him. You were looking at the wall right behind him.

“I would like to talk to you one day, but not at school. Can we meet?” Doyoung brushed his hair.

“Yeah, sure. Any day is fine to me” you tried to look up at him and he was still staring at you without any blink. Well, something was definitely NOT okay.

“Good. I would text you later” he raised corners of his lips unnoticeably and walked inside the dressing room.

“Are we leaving, Y/n?” said Julian and touched your arm gently.

You nodded still looking at the same spot on the wall.

“Sorry,” you said after you left the school building “I spaced out a little”.

“Yeah. Is something wrong between you and him?”

“What? No, we just didn’t talk for a few days” you smiled shyly.

Julian only glanced at you and it was obvious that he didn’t believe your words. When you walked out of the bus your phone vibrated once and you almost jumped. Instinct didn’t disappoint you, the message was from Doyoung.

‘Do you have time tomorrow? We can meet in the town and go to some coffee shop.’

The weather was very beautiful on Saturday morning. You got dressed in a checked dress and put a subtle make-up on. It was like you were dressing especially for him, but you tried to look casual at the same time. You sat on the bench next to the Neptune’s fountain and waited for Doyoung. You came too early just to sit and calm yourself a little while waiting. Why he wanted to talk somewhere else than at school? It couldn’t be a date, like, who asks out on a date this way??? Did Tiffany say something to him about you, like some made-up rumours? You sighed and heard footsteps behind you. Doyoung stopped right next to the bench you were sitting on.

“Oh, hello” you got up “You came”.

“Hi, Y/n” he smiled a little “Didn’t you wait too long?” he was wearing loose white trousers and a dark-green polo shirt.

“No, just a while… The weather is nice today” you tried to break the ice; even though he was more laid-back than yesterday, you still felt some tension.

“Yeah… Y/n” he made a step closer to you “I’m sorry about these last few days, I had to think something over. That’s why I wasn’t contacting with you.”

“Oh… okay” you felt a few cold shivers running down your spine “Did I do something?” you chuckled nervously and looked him in the eyes, they were looking at you but much warmer than yesterday.

Doyoung smiled and looked away at some people walking by.

“I don’t know”.

“Um, well, so maybe we should go to ‘Scoop’? It’s the only legit place to go here, in my opinion” you tried to stay calm but his answer made you feel the opposite.

The place wasn’t much crowded, only a few people came to sit inside. Because of the great weather, most of them were spending time somewhere outside catching rays of the spring sun. Doyoung asked you what would you like to drink and said he’ll pay not giving you any time to protest. After a few small talks about recent situations at school descended an awkward silence and Doyoung became a little tense.

“Y/n, I guess it’s the time I need to ask you about something,” he said and drew something from his bag which was hanging on the chair he was sitting on. You froze when a sky-blue envelope was placed on the table right in front of you.

“Please, tell me. Did you write this?”

You were feeling numb and staring at the piece of paper not knowing what to do. Of course, lying wasn’t even an option, you literally couldn’t lie at all. But what you should say to him? You felt like being friends with him for these few months was quite a one big, fat lie right now. You didn’t even think about it that way earlier. But are you friends with him or you were just trying to be close to someone you like? Thinking about it at this moment – it was selfish and shady. What did you even think about your relationship? Secretly, you wished he would start liking you. You weren’t a bad person, right? You just wanted to be special for someone you cared for.

Slowly, you nodded still looking at his name written by your hand.

“When you gave me this note, where you had written titles of Seven able’s songs… I felt like this handwriting seems familiar. I couldn’t remember, you know. But one day I found this, I left it in my desk drawer.”

This damn note.

At that moment, the best way to stop this embarrassment, you thought, would be to run away. If only you wouldn’t feel like the heaviest rock on planet Earth right now.

“Look, Y/n. I had no idea that you feel this way. If only you would say something…”

“Sorry” was the only word you could think of saying then “I’m so sorry” you looked at your cup within mid-flow drank cappuccino. You got up from the chair with your hands propped up on the table, looked at Doyoung's disoriented face. “I just don't know what I was thinking”. You grabbed your bag and ran out of the café. When you stopped, you found out that you were in the middle of your way home. You forgot about the bus while walking so fast. 'Please, just let me be in the home bathroom' you thought, breathing heavily 'I need to have a good weep right there'. But it was a little too late, you felt something wet on your chin. At the same time, your phone started vibrating, you took a look around and Doyoung was nowhere to be seen. Well, only his name was – on your mobile phone’s screen. You were standing in one spot looking on your phone screen waiting for it to stop.

Next few weeks you barely saw Doyoung because that was your plan – not seeing him and not being seen by him. He was usually spending breaks near classrooms he had lessons so you knew where you shouldn’t spend yours. Of course, some random situations that you couldn’t control were happening. A few times you came across him at corridors but every time you tried to look away the fastest you can, feeling his intense gaze. You never went anywhere by yourself while walking through school corridors; you thought it would stop him from talking to you as if he would ever try to after what you did the last time you spoke. You tried not to think about your feelings. Obviously, you were sad and didn’t want to leave your relationship like that but you had no idea what to do.

Besides the ‘French days’ had already began and you were stressing over Seven able’s performance. Not everyone could go as an audience but you signed up for it to the teacher right after the schedule was announced. For this event, you wanted to be the best support for him you can be as a friend, even if he didn’t think about you as one anymore.

The karaoke contest was taking place in the same hall as the first Doyoung’s performance you had ever seen. You took a seat somewhere in the back not to be on display, the hall was almost empty because you were like half an hour early. You found links to these two Doyoung’s band songs you liked the most and listened to them while waiting. The next thing you knew, people overloaded the hall and your French teacher was announcing the first person and the rest of the participants in order of appearance.

The level of competition was average. Some people just came here to sing for fun, some else were well qualified and wanted to show their talent. The first place took some girl from France, Seven able took the second one. You got emotional again because of Doyoung’s singing but fortunately, you didn’t cry. Their performance was the best, but this girl was singing some sad song in French so they let her win. People from the podium were collecting the prizes, when it was Seven able’s turn Doyoung took the microphone.

“I would like to thank a friend who helped me with some preparations for this performance. I hope she’s happy with the result…” he smiled a little and suddenly met your gaze above everyone’s heads for the shortest crack.

You sat down on your chair, more like you collapsed on it.

“Wait,” you said to yourself out loud, none noticed because it was too loud. That’s your chance, you can just talk to him to congratulate him, right? That will be totally normal, it would even be rude if you wouldn’t! You grabbed your stuff and left the hall to wait outside. People started to leave the place, although they weren’t in a rush to go to their next lesson. Finally, right after a group of people, you noticed Doyoung standing at the door, he was holding it for Tiffany who was very excited and loud. He looked very elegant and casual in a navy cord shirt and beige loose trousers. You stood up from the stairs you were sitting on, the group passed by and Doyoung’s bandmates left the hall behind Tiffany. You chewed at your lip, damn, why didn’t realise there would be plenty of people around him right now.

‘Okay, Y/n, whatever. Your introverted ass needs to leave their comfort zone. If you won’t talk to him right now, you never would’.

“Hello, um…” you came closer to their group. Doyoung looked in your direction still smiling after a friend’s joke, his eyes grew bigger.

“Y/n! I’m so happy you came” he came up to you. Oh no, was he thinking that maybe you won’t come to their performance??? You felt so freaking bad.

“Of course I did, Doyoung” you gasped while looking up at him “um…”

“Guys, you have to meet Y/n. The one I told you about”.

Tiffany somehow disappeared. You shook hands with the three boys. They looked a little older than Doyoung, maybe they were going to college. You congratulated them and praised all of their songs, they thanked you for convincing Doyoung to join this karaoke competition.

“Doyoung…” you couldn’t wait any longer, not because your English started like 20 minutes ago but you felt like anxiety is about to rip the soul off your body if you wouldn’t speak to him in private “can I talk to you for a while?”.

“Sure but don’t you have a class or something?” he asked after you saw his friends off.

“Well, I do but I really need to talk” you looked him in the eyes. He wasn’t smiling at all right now, he looked serious.

“Okay then. How have you been?”

“Me? I, actually, you know, I missed you” you dropped your gaze and felt his hand on your head.

“Me too,” he said quietly.

“Doyoung, you thought I wouldn’t come? I’m so sorry, that I made you feel like this. I would come here no matter what, even if I would be locked in some mental hospital” you looked him in the eyes. His hand slipped off and stayed on your arm. He pulled your body in and hugged you softly. You weren’t that close like never. Your face started to burn, your arms mindlessly landed on his back which was so broad, you never noticed that.

“I don’t know why I run away that day… I was afraid of talking about my feelings, I guess” you said with your head pressed to his chest.

“Y/n, I’m sorry too. I thought that I should confront you, but I didn’t realise it’s hard for someone shy like you” he drew you apart from him.

You nodded not looking at his face.

“Hey, you are very late for your class right now, you should go”.

“Doyoung” you looked up “I know that I romantically like you. But I like you also as a good friend of mine, we have so much in common, right? You always care for me, you have the purest heart I know. So I mean… I like you but before that, I admire you for who you are as a human being” you were looking him in the eyes saying all of it without blinking. His face was obscure, but when you finished he smiled.

“I like you too, Y/n”.

“I know”.

“No, I have a crush on you”.

“You what?” He what?

He laughed.

“Doyoung! What are you talking about?” you frowned.

“Look,” he grabbed your hand “I like spending time with you and I think we should start going out”.

You widened your eyes.

“Wait, you mean like on dates?”

“Yes, silly” he chuckled and pressed your hand on his cheek. You looked up at him surprised by this lovely gesture. “You know, secretly, I’m very clingy.”

You laughed. “Me too but that’s not a secret”.

“I know! You are hugging with everyone but not with me!” he pouted.

You laughed again and moved your hand on his arm to hug him.

“Y/n? How our song make you feel today? Were you sad?” he asked out of the blue.

“What? Why?” you felt weird. There’s no way he would find out about your crying during that assembly in November.

“You wrote in that letter that my singing is making you very emotional, I was just curious. You can tell me, you know” he was looking at you expectantly with a smirk.

“Oh my, you want me to praise you so bad.” you chuckled “Well, it was deep. That’s why I wanted you to perform that one. It’s my favourite, I guess” you made a pause “and your voice is beautiful, you know that. It’s so beautiful it even makes me cry sometimes”.

__________

okay so, it’s my first ever finished fic, damn. it took me a lot of time but it’S DONE. so i’m just proud even though i feel cringe too. i would be very happy if you would like to share your thoughts about it. i’m sending love to everyone who would decide to read~~