Tumgik
#human!sarah
the-darkestminds · 24 days
Text
remember when feyre said jurian deserved the eternity of rage, despair and horror he endured while trapped in amarantha’s ring? that was wild
437 notes · View notes
kazthropology · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
On love
Eurydice (Sarah Ruhl); Liana Rādulescu ; “Spending More Time” (Ron Hicks); Song of Achilles (Madeline Miller) ; It’s Been a Long, Long Time (Harry James, Kitty Kallen); Unknown ; Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 1 (Shakespeare); Six of Crows (Leigh Bardugo); Unknown, Quora ; Eurydice (Sarah Ruhl)
1K notes · View notes
millersamour · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A good dog always finds its way back home
Clarice Lispector A Hora da Estrela / Heather Havrilesky Ask Polly: Help, I'm The Loneliest Person In The World / Sarah J Maas Heir of Fire / Louise Glück Timor Mortis / Molly McCully Brown Falling Down / Mitski Cop Car / Yves Olade Belovéd
(All photos from pinterest, credit in image description)
573 notes · View notes
illyrian-dreamer · 7 months
Text
And Then There Were None – Part 2
Azriel/fem!reader
Synopsis: In the lead up to the war, Hybern releases a catastrophic spell that wipes out all humans, sparing just one.
Abandoned in the desolate human lands, you scavenge to survive long enough to find your family.
Reluctantly, you are found by the Shadowsinger as fate intervenes to guide you under his watchful eye.
<<&lt;Part 1
Tumblr media
Word count: 5.2k
Warnings: Death, blood, suggestions of miscarriage, suicidal themes
Tumblr media
You woke in a bed as soft as the clouds, the covers silken with feathery pillows piled beneath your neck so plush your hardly felt them. 
A level of luxury you had never known could exist – and that’s how you knew you weren't home. 
Vision a blur, the room you woke to was dim, safe from the fire that crackled at the opposite end. Your vision reeled as it took in the space around you - an obnoxiously large bedroom. 
The haze lingered as you raised your hand in front of your face - a quick way to decide between reality or dream. If this were real, someone had done an awfully good job at scrubbing the dirt from your fingernails. 
But then a familiar ache throbbed as you bought your other hand from under the covers, and a stark white bandaged wrapped tightly at your wrist. Real then, and that fae male had indeed broken your wrist. The scars from your journey were faint now, but still there too. 
You felt for your stomach under the covers then, for any signs of your lingering ailment. They had changed you - thick cotton like padding within the fresh undergarment and the softest gown you had ever felt between your fingers.
You pushed the thought of who might have changed you from your mind. Healers - you hoped. 
Your skin beneath the gown was soft and oily, and smelt of salve. The healers had done well to heal you. Good, this was good. It meant you had a chance to return home, continue your search. 
Gods – the search, your family. You had to continue.
You were alone in this room, and it was night - all good signs. Perhaps with enough strength, you might slip be able to escape unnoticed…
With a slight dizziness, you swung your legs from the bed, toes pressing to the warm, rich wood - as if they floor was warmed from within. 
You wouldn’t dare to poke your head out the door - not in a house of creatures with heightened senses. 
The windows - that was your only option to remain unseen. 
Whether it was the delirium of the events days prior or the haze of exhaustion you were yet to shake, you didn't consider escaping into an unknown lands in nothing more than a nightgown was a fools choice, mortifying at the least. But survival called, your family called. 
Padding around the postered bed, you scanned quickly for your belongings . Clothes, waist belt, knives were no where to be found. 
The cupboard was empty, safe from a long black coat made from the softest velvet your had ever felt. Tying the fabric firm at your waist, you didn’t take the time to roll the sleeves that drooped well past your fingertips - clearly made for a much taller, larger form than your own. Black was good, especially at night, helping conceal the silky cream night robe that seemed to scream find me.
If you had the time, you would have marvelled at the  wall of windows - in shapes and sizes you didn't know a glass welder could blow. Arched in a row of three, each of them had smaller panes within - still large enough to fit through, and with latches. 
Perfect. 
You fiddled with the latch, the world outside dark and unmoving with no sign of light until you cast your eyes upwards. Fingers halting on the latch, your breath knocked from you chest as you observed the most brilliant array of stars you had ever seen. 
Were these the same stars as the human lands? How was it that such magnificent beauty was concealed from your own part of the world?
Another stab of loathing for fae found you then – it seemed even the Mother was versed in reserving luxuries only for them.
The latch clicked open, and you pushed gently against the pane, the window unmoving. Frowning, you pushed again, before trying to pull it inside instead. The glass moved on smooth, oiled hinges - and that’s when the howling began. 
As loud as a pack of wolves, yet that insistent noise was instead from wind. 
Fretting at the noise, you glanced behind you in urgency. Any second now they would come, the wind as good as any alarm. So with a strong grip on the window ledge, you pushed your head through, eyes squinting through the unforgiving gales. 
The wind almost knocked you, hair immediately whipping this was and that, eyes stinging with tears as you failed to see clearly.
Scanning as best you could, you saw no stairs of landings to climb to, no balcony from which you could hope to escape. 
And then you looked down.
It was instinct to back away, so fast that the back of your head knocked against the pane, and a quick profanity escaping your lips. 
You had never been so high up before. Never knew anything could be built so tall. 
With a roll of your stomach, you forced your head back out, avoiding looking anywhere below the horizon.
On the far left, hidden mostly by brick, was a distant glow of a city, the lights warm and flickering with glorious life. And between you and it - a river, it’s water the blackest of blacks in the night, besides from the reflection of the city that budded it’s banks. 
To your right - dark, intimidating forms of mountains and peaks. And with a quick flash below, far, far below, there was only night. 
Your gut lurched both from the height and realisation - it was suicide to try and escape. 
It took a moment to force your rigid muscles to push yourself back inside the room, hair strewn over your face and cheeks pink from the bite of the cold. 
“We don't usually advise opening the windows here,” a melodic voice spoke over the wind. 
Hissing in fright, you whipped your head behind you, to the most beautiful women you had ever seen. And beside her - the same blue siphoned male, his eyes aglow with hazel. 
You fished for your voice then, strained in your throat from days of not speaking, the rush from the wind and the awe of what and who stood before you fighting for silence. 
They were am incredibly handsome couple. 
Folded clothes in her hand, the blond simply placed the outfit on a spare reading chair, moving lightly to re-hatch the window behind you. You almost sighed in relief as the piercing howling stopped. 
“The windows are charmed to block out the noise,” she explained, her tone light and friendly despite the step of caution you took to distance yourself. “Well, don't you look good in black,” she perked, brown eyes scanning you, her smile sincere.
You looked down, the fabric of the coat drooping from your frame. 
“I stole this,” you said dumbly, before cursing yourself silently. 
The women laughed, and you could have sworn a slight smile pulled at the males lips too. 
“That’s quite alright, besides, you were awake before I could deliver you some proper clothes,” she gestured to the set she bought in, but you were fixed on those golden locks, the way they bounced when she moved, and that dress…
“I’m Morrigan by the way, but you can call me Mor.” If she caught you staring at her, she did not let on.
You frowned, senses returning, and you scanned the room again. Formalities, names, nicknames –completely unnecessary, unless…
“I must carry on with my search,” you said sternly, eyes darting between her and the blue-siphoned male. 
He knew. He would have told her.
Those large, towering wings pulled in tighter against his frame, and the male opened his mouth to respond. But Morrigon beat him to it. 
“You’re awake much earlier than the healers expected. They advised you may need a few more days rest.”
You tried to hide your panic, eyes scanning her, then the door, then where Azriel stood between it. 
Mor traced your eyes. “We are no threat to you,” she said gently.
You swallowed. “Then I am free to leave?”
Mor schooled her face into something softer, more sympathetic. “You may want to meet with out High Lord and Lady. I know they are eager to meet you.”
“Me?”
She nodded. “They wish to discuss your predicament.”
“Have they found my family?” you all but blurted, heart thundering with anticipation.
She shook her head then, her face falling more grave. “I’m sorry, I haven't any news.”
A gnawing at your stomach then - something was wrong. How long had they kept looking, had they found anyone? 
“How many days was I-?"
“Four,” the male answered, hands still clasped behind his back. There was no smile on his face, but it remained soft. 
“And up and about well ahead of the seven days the healers predicted! Quite the fighter you are Y/N,” Morrigan chirped.
You almost jumped at the use of your name. And then a scowl fixed on your face.
“My apologies!” More gasped quickly, and you missed the glare Azriel threw her way, Mor’s eyes meeting his with guilt. “Please forgive me, I forget that humans aren't accustomed to-"
“Mind reading?” you gritted, more exposed under the ridiculous ensemble of clothes you wore. You wish you could drown in the lengths of extra fabric. 
Mor wore a broken smile. “Of sorts, yes.” She paused then, fretting to fill the silence. “Would you like to change your clothes? They should be to your size.” 
You looked at the set neatly folded at the chair. 
“The healers have washed you, but we can draw you another bath if you’d prefer?”
Your cheeks reddened at the question, the male’s eyes politely finding somewhere else in the room to fix that gaze.
Was this their way of telling you that you smelt?
Humiliated and frustrated, your eyes narrowed on the male. “What is your name?”
Hazel flicked back to you, and he took a moment of silence to observe you before answering. “Azriel.”
You eyed him up and down, taking him in fully. Tall, large, muscled - your attempts to stab him would have been laughable. Delirious indeed. 
As he eyed you back, his gaze fixed your wrist, even while concealed beneath the velvet coat. “I am sorry to have hurt you.”
Civilised - far more civilised than you would have expected fae to be. 
You cleared your throat. “Well, I suppose I’m sorry for my attempts of murder.”
His mouth pulled into a polite smile, the apples of his cheeks glowing in the firelight. 
Mor chimed in then. “They told me you caught Azirel off guard, Y/N. Like I said - quite the fighter. Not just anyone can catch the Shadowsinger by surprise.”
Shadowsinger. As if at their mention, the furling, smoky shadows peaked from Azriel, and you let out a small yelp. It seemed it was your turn to be surprised. 
Without a whisper of a word, they withdrew into the Shadowsinger himself, as if scolded back into place. Azriel gave no hint of amusement as he kept watching you. 
Your eyes danced from him back to Mor, cheeks once again redening. 
“This is… overwhelming,” you admitted. 
Mor gave you a sympathetic smile, before placing a delicate, manicured hand on your shoulder. “A bath, then?”
You nodded, and she led you to the bathroom, candles lighting with the wave of her hand, and water now filling the marbled pool, steam quick to fill the room. 
You forget about Azriel in the other room as Mor closed the door behind her, marvelling at the arches and architecture, a new set of large windows in this room, this time facing the city. You padded there mindlessly, watching the twinkle of the town that beckoned. 
“Velaris,” Mor came to stand beside you. “Or, the City of Starlight. It’s location is well concealed, unknown by the other courts.”
You were reminded of the courts then, the brief lessons they had taught you at school. The divide of seven different courts, each ruled by a High Lord determined by their magic gifted the Mother and bloodline. Allies, enemies – it was complicated twining of politics and power. 
But you had never heard of Velaris. 
“This place is a secret?”
Mor nodded. “The true home of the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. A paradise they keep concealed, untouched by others.”
“Why?”
Mor chewed her cheek. “It’s safer this way,” she said simply. 
“And you trust me with such information?”
Mor’s brown eyes warmed, but something sadder hid behind them. “It doesn't seem fair to lie to you about your own whereabouts.”
You nodded, eyes finding the city beyond again. “You mentioned the High Lord and Lady want to meet. Rhysand and Feyre?” Your head ached at the strain to remember their names, but the information found you. 
Mor smiled at their names, and you remembered the way the males had too when they first found you. Loyalty coursed through them like some kind of magic. If you wanted to survive, you would be sure to respect their hierarchy. 
“Morrigan,” you swallowed, bracing yourself for an answer. “Please, what do you know of the search?”
Mor stiffened, pausing for a moment. “The High Lord and Lady are on their way home to meet with you. They will tell you all they know.”
You eyed her carefully, your heart straining. “They haven't found my family, have they?”
Mor’s face of sympathy was beautiful, whether schooled or real. “I’m sorry, I really can not tell you.”
You swallowed once before nodding, eyes casting out to the city of Velaris, the name foreign in your mind.
“They are travelling as fast as they can, and should be here within a few hours,” she reassured. How or where from you didn't bother to ask. 
“A bath then,” you nodded.
Mor smiled tightly. “Should you need anything, just ask. This house - the House of Wind - is just as alive as you and I. You should only have to speak what you wish.”
You nodded, hiding the overwhelming thought of a magical living house as the pool of warm scented water beckoned you with furls of steam.
“A fitting name,” you murmured, remembering of the persistent howl that waited just outside those obnoxious windows.
Mor grinned, catching your every word. “Isn’t it just,” she called and she fluttered from the room, pulling the large, carved door closed behind her. 
You took a few moments of silence, again scanning the marble-splayed room you now found yourself in. Dream or reality, you were still yet to be convinced. 
That was, until your dropped your undergarments, the thick wads of cotton stained with specks of bright, fresh blood. A saddened whimper escaped you, and your hands instantly found your belly, phantom cramps pulling from within. 
You thought about calling for Morrigon, to demand an answer or to see a healer again. But deep down you knew, and that instinct to protect yourself, your privacy, was greater. 
A waft of essential oils blew your way, as if the house was beckoning you to bathe. Toeing the water, each of your muscles seems to relax and steam clouded around you. An uncontrollable sigh left you as you moved deeper and deeper, breasts bobbing beneath the water, the muscles in your abdomen glad for the relaxant. 
You had never had a bath like this, never indulged in such a level of luxury. Was this how all fae bathed, or just the ones so closely aligned with royals?
It was a jarring comparison to the tin bath in your family home, the steam quick to escape from the batches of hot water your mother boiled in the kettle when you were young. As you grew older, you would often forgo using the kettle, bearing the bite of the cold for efficiency, only treating the children when you bathed them.
A shock of panic found you as the pool dipped even deeper, and you shot from your toes back to the scooped edges of the pool, clinging to the edge. Obviously built for creatures much taller and larger than you, while you on the other hand had never learnt to swim. Not when your parents were so busy, and the creek behind your home merely ankle deep.
Bathe, change, and then you would have your answers - you reminded yourself. So you scrubbed with determination, dipping your head beneath the water and rubbing the pads of your fingers at your scalp too, washing away any remains of the taxing journey it took to get here. 
You would start your search fresh, start anew, even swallow your hate for fae if it meant the help of the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. You could drink their wine and pass pleasant smiles if it meant they would aide you, if it meant your family returning home safely. 
———— 
You looked at yourself in the mirror, the black tunic and pants gifted by Mor fitting better than any of your skirts and dresses back home. The fabric was soft yet thick, protecting you from the cold, even while the House of Wind seemed to warm from within. 
There were slippers waiting by your bed, black also, and your skin seemed to glow from the oils from the bath. The face staring back at you was clean, yet tired, the bags under your eyes still a swell of purple. Forcing your shoulders back, you forced a stance of determination. You could do this, you could meet with the most powerful creatures of Prythian, and you would convince them to help you.
With a gentle knock at the door, a voice called. “It’s Mor.”
“Come in,” you answered turning from the mirror, hands finding the pockets on your pants.
Her eyes warmed at the site of you. “Black certainly does suit you,” she repeated, and you wondered about the comment from earlier. Loyalty to black, it seemed, was also a part of their strange culture. Perhaps something to do with the Night Court, and you wondered if the other courts found such ties to certain colours. 
“Thank you for the clothes. I will return them once-"
Mor raised her hand dismissevely. “We’d hear of no such thing. Are you ready?”
You nodded. “Are they?”
“Rhys and Feyre arrived a half hour ago. They await you in their office.” 
Mor seemed to want to take your hand, but rethought it, and instead raised a palm to the door. 
“Follow me,” she hummed before striding for the door, red gown trailing behind her. 
With a deep breath, you followed in silence.
————
“Here she is,” Mor cooed musically as she pushed the doors open to the office, the High Lord and Lady stopping their polite conversation with as they turned to take you in. 
Your knees almost buckled under their gaze.
That power, even as a human you felt it from many steps away, steely blue and violet eyes seemingly pinning you to your spot. A heavy dose of intimidation overcame you and your body faltered, even though their eyes remained soft, their smiles friendly. 
They both stood, Rhysand donned in a neat black suit, Feyre’s dark gown falling from her frame like liquid night. Gorgeous – an absolutely gorgeous sight the both of them were. 
“A pleasure to meet you,” Feyre spoke, her voice and as smooth as Morrigon’s, yet younger. 
“Welcome to our home,” Rhysand added. 
Blinking between the two, your knees almost groaned as you forced a curt bow. “Thank you, High Lord and High L-Lady,” you stammered. “For your hospitality.”
You waited for any sign of compliance from your bow - knowing that fae spoke a language of hierarchy and formality. 
But your were instead met with an informal sideways smile of Feyre. “Please, call us Rhys and Feyre.”
You nodded, although you couldn't see yourself respecting that wish. 
“Are you feeling any better?” Rhysand asked, violet eyes piercing, refusing to leave you. “We were told you had survived almost a fortnight on your own. That is very impressive.”
You weren't sure you’d ever get used to the unblinking ways of the fae as you blushed at his compliment. Had their parent’s never taught them it was rude to stare?
The smallest of smiles tugged at Rhys’s lips.
But you muffled your thoughts, forcing yourself to answer. “Feeling much better, thank you High Lord. You swallowed tightly, fishing for the right words to say. “And to your healers,” you added with rush. “Thanks to them too.”
“I am glad,” Rhysand smiled, moved back into his seat and gesturing for you to do the same.
“I’ve informed Y/N that you would update her on the search for the humans, to explain your own findings.” You could have kissed Mor for steering the conversation, desperate to hear what the High Lord and Lady had to say. 
Feyre immediately began fiddling with the fingers, before Rhysand took them in his own hand. You observed closely at the small interaction, Feyre’s nervous fidget, Rhysand’s immediate response. They seemed to speak na unspoken language.
Not good, not good, not good. Your nails instinctively settled into familiar wounds at your palms.
“Of course,” Rhysand answered, his beautiful features schooling into something more serious as his voice softened. 
Feyre’s eyes found you then, something like regret and sorrow burrowed within. In that moment alone, their difference in upbringing was at contrast. Rhys - ever the schooled socialite, tamed and controlled behaviour from years of perfecting courteous mannerisms. Feyre on the other hand – human, child-like sincerity shone through despite her pointed ears and occasional glimpse of canines. 
“I’m sorry to say that we have not found your family Y/N,” Rhysand said straightly. 
You nodded, assuming that had been the case. That didn't stop the sting in your eyes, or lurch of you gut. You clamped your lips against the wobble that already threatened.
“The truth is, we haven’t found a single human since finding you.”
Instantly the room began to reel, Rhysand and Feyre tipping slightly as your heart skipped to an irregular thunder. 
How could this be? You had been asleep for four days, between their armies and winged beings among them, how could they not find a single other? Your mind screamed a flurry of questions, but your remained stiff, only moving to grip the arms of your chair. 
Rhysand sighed then, glancing once at his mate who’s look of regret only deepened, tears shining in those grey-blue eyes. 
“It is with the deepest regret that we inform you we have traced a powerful magic from the lands of Hybern. A spell, rather.”
You forced your voice past the lump in your throat, past the bile that swarmed in your mouth. “What spell is that?”
Tears spilled from Feyre’s eyes, whatever control she had on her breaking into unmistakable grief. 
No, no don’t say it - your mind screamed. 
“As spell to kill all humans,” she whispered. 
You blinked. And the others watched, waiting.
You blinked a few more times.
"What did you say?"
Rhys's frown was pained. "It seems Hybern was intent on capturing your lands, and used a magic so strong it expelled humans..."
But Rhys's voice grew muffled as your vision narrowed, clouding with darkness.
And then it hit you.
It was as if someone had pulled the floor from underneath you. The room tipped unforgivably, vision blurring and stomach lurching with the lack of food in days.
A broken noise escaped you.
“Y/N, you must breath,” a voice spoke.
Panicked, laboured breaths wheezed from you, and you clenched your eyes shut past the horror of what they had told you.
Meek breaths passed your chest as you tried to speak. “I don’t-how, I don't understand.”
“Hybern has access to the cauldron, and we believe he used it to seize the territory of human lands.”
“It worked then, then spell? They’re gone?” You voice was hoarse, breathy with distraught. Tears had not found you yet, only an overwhelming dread laced with a flicker of denial.
Even while the room danced around you, you caught Rhysand’s tight nod, his face grave and solemn. “We are so sorry.”
Mor’s hand was gentle at your back, as an all consuming anxiety took over and you clutched at your head.
“Please do not touch me,” you rasped, audible wheezes catching in your throat.
Immediately her hand lifted.
“Dead, then,” you swallowed another rise of bile, raising frantic eyes to Feyre.
Broken eyes locked with yours. “I’m so very, very sorry Y/N” she whispered.
“My family, my siblings? Dead?”
She was crying, but you didn't care. You waited for the answer. All she offered was a nod. 
A broken, crazed laugh found you then. It was a cold, lonely thing, and you caught Mor exchange a look with her High Lord. There was nothing they could do except watch as you ran shaking hands over your face. 
You were trembling, eyes dancing frantically. No. No no no. This was unbelievable. You didn't believe them, you refused to.
“Impossible,” you scoffed.
“We wish it were, Y/N truly,” Mor said softly.
“Then pray tell, how it is that I survived?”
“We’re perplexed by you remaining, Y/N. We have no answer for it,” Rhys offered, a tanned hand stroking at Feyre’s back in practiced comfort. 
“Liar,” you snarled, standing so quickly your chair fell back. 
Liars - the lot of them, to tell you of the extinction of humans when you sat there alive and well in their home. 
Rhys’s eyes pinned you, as if expecting your outburst. “I can’t begin to imagine your grief Y/N, but we tell no lies.”
“I don't believe you,” you spat, hands curling into trembling fists. “You wish to keep me here, to trap me!” Anger rose within you. Typical fae tricks and fibs, that's all this was. 
“I would have thought the same thing if I were still human,” Feyre coaxed, wiping at her eyes. “I don't blame you for not trusting us. I truly wish we were lying.”
Something in her sincerity knocked you, cracking at your anger, demanding you to consider their words true. 
But your shook your head stubbornly, crazed by their audacity, distancing yourself from the devastation that loomed underneath.
“I will not stay here and listen to this.”
You heeded for the door, pulling on the handles with trembling hands, only to find that blue siphoned male waiting on the other side. 
Azriel.
His arms were neatly tucked behind his back, legs wide and ready as if waiting for you.
If only you had your knife.
“You will let me leave,” you all but growled, eyes darting from behind him back to his frame, looking for your way out. He bore no weapons this time , but it wasn't as if he needed them.
Azriel’s eyes softened. “I can’t.” His voice was soft and steady. “It’s not safe for you out there.”
Your fists clenched tighter. “I don’t care! I will not sit here prisoner, I need to find the truth for myself.” 
You made to step around him, but those rippled hands gripped you, from the shoulders this time. 
“Let go of me!” You struggled against him, but his grip remained strong.
“Listen to me. Hybern has sent an army and they sweep the human lands as we speak. I saw it for myself – if they find you, they will kill you.”
The integrity in his voice, deep down you knew he was telling the truth, even if you refused to believe it. Because believing it meant you had lost everything, everyone. It meant the cruelest punishment from the gods - not another day with the laughter of your siblings, the caress of your mother or hold from your father. No home, no love, no warmth - just a bobbing existence, with grief as your only friend. 
Perhaps that’s why you started sobbing, still trying to pry Azriel’s hands from you with his own. 
“I don’t care, I don’t care!” you cried, voice breaking as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. “I want my family!”
Azriel cast a worried look back to the others who could only watch with pained expressions. 
Mor sprung into action, fetching a blanket from a nearby room.
“You are liars, territorial murderers, the lot of you! How could you let this happen?” your voice was hoarse once again, your knees buckling as shock took over. 
Azriel moved with you, gently bringing you to the ground as you wept, your legs folding underneath.
The blanket was strewn around you gently, Azriel’s touch surprisingly tender. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice a strangely soothing balm against your turmoil. "I wish things were different. But your safety is paramount."
You wanted to fight against it, to push and claw and burrow in the bubble of denial, but you hadn’t any energy left.
Waking to an empty home, to empty streets, days of travel without another human in sight – perhaps you knew all along that this nightmare was real.
The room continued to spin as reality sunk in. Your family, gone. Your siblings, so young, so innocent. The humans wiped clean from the world. A full scale genocide, and you were the only one to survive it. 
"They were children," you wailed, your words a harrowing cry. "They were only children."
Injustice, isolation and grief was leaden on your chest, so constricting and heavy you thought you might die. 
“I-I can’t breath.” One palm braced on the wooden floor, the other against your heart as you began to pant. Eyes darting between the fae that watched on, you clutched at your chest, panic swarmed with bile. 
And then you made sick. 
Azriel's grip didn't falter, and someone moved to pull the hair from your stinging eyes. 
"Try to focus on your breathing, Y/N," a voice coaxed in your mind, male or female you couldn’t tell. "In and out, slowly."
But the air felt thick, suffocating, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on you. Each breath seemed to be a struggle against an invisible force, and panic tightened its grip around your heart.
That voice in your head again. ”Just keep breathing," it said gently, the voice cutting through the haze of your panic. "Focus on my voice. You're safe here, I promise."
The words were like a lifeline in the storm raging within you, and you clenched your eyes shut, clinging to it.
Rhysand approached cautiously, his expression a mixture of sympathy and sorrow. "Az," he prompted, and the male raised from his knees.
Rhysand crouched down in front of you, his gaze unwavering. "We'll explain everything after you've rested Y/N, I promise," he said, his voice carrying the weight of truth.
And as the room slowly ceased its relentless spinning, you found yourself clinging to that promise, holding onto the hope that amidst the devastation, there was still a path forward, however uncertain it may be.
The world outside was dangerous, filled with uncertainty and threats you couldn't begin to comprehend. And Hybern. He had killed your family. Your siblings, those sweet innocent children who you loved so dearly. Your parents too.
Sobs wracked through you again, your body giving out as you let out a muffled whimper of grief.
Strong arms slid from under you turning you over to cup you by your arms and knees. And then you were being carried, away from that horrible scene, from the mess on the floor where your world came crashing down. 
You clung to whatever you could, the blanket, Azriel’s shirt, you didn't really care – but you clung and cried. Even when you were again met with the softness of a mattress, even when the weight of the duvet being drawn over as it settled against your skin. 
In that tumbleweed of devastation, a rippled hand soothed you, coaxing you to sleep. You gladly let it, letting the horrors of the world slip away, even if only for a moment. 
“Just rest now. You are safe.”
And with a final thought, you sent a prayer to the Mother to not wake up to this nightmare.
Tumblr media
A/N: Hey pals, thank you so so much for the love and support of Part 1!! I sincerely hope you liked part 2! <3 <3 Now would you like some fries with that angst? Because it'll only get darker from here. Again, I'll tag everything I can at the top of the fic, but please have a look at the warnings ahead, I would hate to hurt anyone <3 <3 If you'd like to join the tag list for this fic, drop a comment! Thank you so much for reading, mwa!!
408 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
Sarah Best, Pull Yourself Together  Plaster, acrylic paint, waxed linen, iron meat hook
2K notes · View notes
lem0nademouth · 11 months
Text
thinking about how fucking resilient Jews are.
thinking about my great grandparents in romania, raised in a land colonized by the same empire that sent them to the balkans, still working as tailors and butchers like their ancestors had for generations.
thinking about them stowing away on ships to america so their children could live to see adulthood.
thinking about how many other five foot two bookworms have been in my family. i know i’m not the first, and i certainly hope i won’t be the last.
thinking about how many seders my family has held throughout history, how many “next year in jerusalem”s were shouted. it hasn’t happened yet, but maybe it will.
thinking about the women who passed down kabbalah to their children while witches burned in the next village over. how many mothers kept literal magic alive.
thinking about how every single person that lived before me, every branch of my family tree, had to choose to survive. living has always been in the present progressive for Jews; every breath they took was a choice to fight just a little longer.
i come from people who survived the spanish inquisition, the soviet union, the Shoah, the judeo-roman wars, ottoman imperialism, the rise and fall of so many empires i cannot name them all, and the only uniting factor is them. they taught their toddlers the sh’ma and lit candles and read books and sewed clothes and spun linen and cured meat and davened and smiled and laughed and they did that for two thousand years. ten years ago i became the first bat mitzvah in my family line. the first woman in my family to read from the torah.
i hope they’re proud. i hope i was worth it for them.
884 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Handsy studies.
Just that. Handy hands.🤡
I would like to thank @icarussmicarus for making me discover how a nice pairing Sarah HawkinsxJohn Silver can be. The ultimate softy warm joy inducing OTP.
290 notes · View notes
vertigoartgore · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor vs the Terminator (the T-800 model). Art by Katsuhiro Otomo (Akira).
380 notes · View notes
doortotomorrow · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"I'm Reese, Sergeant Techcom, DN38416...assigned to protect you." - Kyle Reese
195 notes · View notes
bonesmarinated · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I'm fulfilling what Bethesda could not 😑😤 And the cat name is Oslo! I hc Mateo and Noel both took care of this cat and it's a permanently resident at The Lodge, Oslo is a shy cat but he likes to be around Kristian. Oslo remind Kristian of a stray cat that he and his brother used to raised when they were kids.
932 notes · View notes
soracities · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Sarah Bakewell, At the Existentialist Café
521 notes · View notes
notbecauseofvictories · 5 months
Note
Longtime follower and I love seeing your insights, so wondered if you had thoughts or advice on this:
I live alone and I'm not in a relationship, though I do date. I'd say ninety percent of the time I really enjoy my life, seven percent I'm a bit sad or annoyed about not having a partner yet, and three percent I get tossed into the Pit of Despair. That three percent can be tied into hormonal cycles, bad timing, etc - even when I know the cause, it still needs to be lived through. Has that happened with you? If so, how do you manage it? I do okay, but it feels like I could do better.
Ah, but the Pit of Despair and I are best friends now. I've sent pictures from the Pit, all featuring me with an absolutely humorless, rictus grin, which does make me wonder why no one else has noticed yet. I have a timeshare in the Pit of Despair. I spend some time there every six months or so, standing in the middle of my impossibly overgrown, dingy garden, and thinking to myself, how did I get here? how do I get out?
And then, as though endurance isn't enough...then your timeshare in the Pit ends. You emerge in the daylight and immediately forget how grey and hopeless that garden was, the weirdly stained, collapsing furniture in the corner and the crooked yellowing plants and that mean laughter you could sometimes hear over the sounds of waving grass. You think to yourself: that will never happen again! I am free! I am cured!
(This will feel so much worse, the next time you're shoved back into the stupid garden.)
That said, I don't think you're going to like my answer to your next question. This is because I don't like my answer; unfortunately, it remains the only answer I have to this question.
I think having some unsettled sorrow, just a touch of existential despair, is the best we can hope to do in this life.
I think that with both rueful humor and deep, deep disgust, which is typically the combo I bring to musings about being a person. Of course it's a little funny---look at the monkey, it's got anxiety!---and of course it's also frustrating, unspeakable outside of bitter cursing, a problem that will not be fixed because quite frankly it's built too deeply into us to be cut out cleanly and thrown away.
(Look at the fucking monkey, you can tell yourself through gritted teeth, standing in that horrible garden with weeks of dirty dishes in the sink and an inbox of emails and friends blowing up your phone with plans you hate to even think about. It's got anxiety.)
I do not have a cure for this. I manage it with the same sort of humor and ruefulness and bitterness that I mentioned above---I don't beat myself up anymore, when I realize I'm standing in the horrible garden again. I know it too well. Sometimes it has an okay wifi connection? I watch some movies. I get done what I can, and forgive myself the rest. I have been here before; I will get out again. I just need to be patient.
Once I'm out, there will be a whole world, I know there will---full of music I haven't heard before and stories that won't make me cringe and emails I will respond to with ease and conversations where I can be light, amusing even. There is a world beyond the Pit. There is always a world beyond the Pit, I just can't find my way back sometimes.
In the meantime, I take another terrible picture in front of the stained furniture, and caption it "Hello from the Pit!!!" with a bunch of exclamation points to indicate that it's a joke, even though it isn't.
I wait.
189 notes · View notes
the-darkestminds · 6 months
Text
I have a hard time believing that anyone who ships Vassien isn’t just doing it because it’s a convenient way to get Lucien out of the picture without also making him miserable for the rest of his life.
174 notes · View notes
low-poly-rat · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
Miss Smith Doesn't Miss.
On purpose, I set this up at the correct size for a print that's 11" (27.94cm) x 17" (43.18cm) It's time that I start posting my best work.
141 notes · View notes
arson-09 · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
I think about sjm trying to say this was about rhysand in acomaf. like did she read her own writing?? god it pisses me off so much😭 Feyre hadnt even met rhysand at this point im pretty sure plus the suriel directly implicates that it means tamlin “high lords manor” like goddamn feysanders rlly hunting for scraps to justify their shitty little retcon ship.
174 notes · View notes
cicicolorao · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE
BEHOLD, WHEN YOU LISTEN TO AN OLD ASS VOCALOID SONG ON LOOP! Ya gotta mix it in with your hyperfixation
This took me days :)))
169 notes · View notes