#hugo is a fuck boi

[sergle]

I absolutely always forget that people generally don't know about buc-ee's. but it's a huge huge huge ass gas-station where you can buy anything. and is basically disneyland for people from Texas and I got my dog in a bucc-ees parking lot

[planetary-gus]

Things I've screamed in the last 6 hours while I read VAT7K fan fiction and refuse to sleep

*autistic screaming*

"I GOT A BRICK"

"Learn to swim loser"

"HE'S NOT A DISASTER HE'S JUST AUTISTIC"

"YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW"

"Leave Hugo. And his twink hair. Alone."

"Does it count if I fling myself off a bridge?"

*more screaming*

"Concession, concussion, same thing. Lemonade, brain bruises, it's the same thing dude just trust me"

"FUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK"

"Fuckity fuck fuck fuck"

*Even more autistic screaming*

I may have some problems and I'm surprised my family hasn't woken up trying to kill me

[pilferingapples]

favorite thing about the Les Mis Letters server this year has been the growing certainty that the TRUE villain of Les Mis is Geometry

[tricoufamily]

HUGO HATER FOUND BOO HIM OFF THE STAGE

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[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

....has anybody written The Riot Club fanfic yet because I'm thinking about Hugo again.....

gif by @talesfromthecrypts

[frogaroundandfindout]

the fact that bruce and batman are such distinct entities but also other times he's like "the batman is who I truly am, bruce wayne is a mask" but also batman is a curse but also but also but also

baby girl, WHY are you like this? see, this shit is why we had to drag out that zur en asshole arc for so long

he makes me mentally ill <3

He reminds me of those actors that act like they’ve been irrevocably changed and traumatized by their own method acting

Meanwhile some other heroes (dick for example) are like it really sucks not being able to tell normal people the full truth about my life and it makes dating rough, but it’s still doable

[breitzbachbea]

I should get more familiar with the troubles of the late republic and pick an era for my res publica AU. Like idk even in WHAT civil war these clowns dies, but it would be positively hilarious to have all these drabbles that make them seem like political masterminds and the talk of the town ... and then we get them placed next to ACTUAL power of historical figures and they're the lowest on anyone's list.

But for that I would have to give everyone a latin name and uuuuugggghhhhhh.

[shadowglens]

do we think dorian will show up in datv? do you think we’ll get any dorian x romanced inquisitor crumbs?

[varibean]

wwdits au with varian and hugo as laszlo and nadja, interchanging who is who 

[sergle]

it. is. CRAZY being like "oh I want to keep my pet healthy, maybe I should look into upgrading to a higher quality food" and you do a bunch of googling abt what percentages of fat/protein/etc a food should be and you find the stuff that's the Most Recommended for dog health or whatever it is, and then you look at the reviews for what is apparently a very reputable brand and it's like DOG DIED DOG HAD BLOODY DIARRHEA DOG IS LOSING FUR I FED MY PUPPY THIS AND HIS KIDNEYS ALMOST SHUT DOWN AT 3MO OLD DOGS VOMITED HAD TO BE ON FLUIDS AT THE VET like. huh... I see <-- doesn't get it at all

[alchemagiks]

these kids having to be their own emotional support... beatrice is way too fucking cold for me.

[thatluckystrudel]

WAITWHAT NO WHY THIS IS SO ACCURATE 😭😭😭😭

Inglourious Basterds memes

A meme with some other characters to fill

Some cat memes 😺

I WAS IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD, so I did more memes

[mrsparrasblog]

Randome TF141 headcanons

Some of them are weird. But I just know.

Price:

Never go to the toilet after him

has a hut in the forest for fishing but mostly ends up fucking a local in there

because this man is a whore

he is still the most loyal when he is in a relationship

his favorite food is Shepard's pie or red jelly but not the green one and no one understands why

has so hard Daddy issues that he fathers everyone

uses AXE dark temptation to get rid of the cigar smell in his house

smells like Tom Ford tobacco vanilla

his love language is gift - giving and acts of service

NSFW:

he is a munch everyone knows it but still he is the biggest munch

Breeding kink

He is a whore but just because he thinks he doesn't deserve more than a one nighstands , please give this man a soft wife to dot on - preferably me

he hates Anal sex but riming is okay in his cards

says he is straight but bottomed Simon and Johnny on many occasions and likes to get blowies from or favorite pretty boy :)

prefers hair down there

Ghost:

He only Shops at Lidl you will never see him at Tesco or Sainsbury, even with all the coupons and tricks Lidl is cheaper. You will never see him somewhere else.

He hates London with all his heart, if there were a hate page for London he would be the admin. Dirty tube, bad football, and too many tourists.

He has a deep hate against a parrot, if parrots have zero haters he is dead.

Read Jane Austin and enjoyed it.

Has a book of stupid jokes in his apartment and laughs about them

When he is in love he is the cutest man alive, but somehow still creepy, he knows your favorite things in everything even your favorite underwear company even tho you never told anyone.

uses 5 - 1 shampoo .... from Lidl (still very keen on hygiene) 

NSFW 

He watches stepsiblings' porn unapologetically 

Has a mommy kink. I could go into heavy detail about it

He isn't a rough lover more of a service Dom 

Doesn't care about hair down there

Soap: 

He sometimes feels left out in his family, his siblings have children and "normal" jobs. His family doesn't see his lifestyle as something to be proud of

Except for his mom, he is such a momma boy but in a good way.

Was a sperm doner once (more than once) but only because he is a good guy with fertile genes 

His mohawk was an accident, he decided it looked "fresh" so it stayed.

Watches DC instead of Marvel...... why?

Uses Hugo Boss, bottled Night, got it from his grandma, and never used anything else

NSFW: 

Gaz was his BI awakening: after las Almas and the broken shoulder he couldn't wank himself properly, and he got so frustrated because he couldn't even sleep properly with a woman because of it, and he didn't just want to go to the Pub and say "Hey my shoulder is broken can you wank me". So in his half-drunk state, he asked Gaz. And after promising each other they would never talk about it, Kyle did help him. Johnny never cummed that fast. He isn't sure if it was because of Kyle's skilled hands, Kyle's fucking hot body, or that he didn't have a wank in two weeks. And when Kyle licked his cum that was his awakening that he likes men and Women. Of course, he returned the favor after he was healed:)

His favorite porn category is Woman Masturbating or Male Masturbating, everything that is solo is 100000 times better than "real porn".

He lost his Virginity very Young to an older Woman. Johnny always flexed about this, but this isn't a reason to flex.

When you sleep with him - you need to be on the pill because he is mister fucks so hard that every condom breaks.

He wears lingerie sometimes - he pulls it better off than some of us :(

cums way too fast but can last like 4-6 rounds 

loves tit fucking

Gaz: 

smells like Bleu de Chanel 

had a more expensive skincare routine than you 

he loves skincare 

He grew up with two moms.

He loves listening to Taylor Swift. No one can convince me otherwise.

Is deeply in love with me

He played Rugby in school. If he hadn't joined the Military, he would be a professional Rugby player.

Kyle was still somehow that awkward kid in class. Even needed to change the school because he got bullied.

NSFW:

He was disappointed in Johnny's cock sucking skills, but Price is a different breed.

can pull anyone and is mister give everyone an orgasm, not once in his life did he let his lover unsatisfied

had a foursome once when he was like 23, with three girls who were obsessed with him, and who can judge them

he is a guy who doesn't kiss and tell

his fav porn category is Anal Sex

has a CNC kink but is afraid to ask

is shaven down there but doesn't care if you are or not.

I have so much more ahhhh

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Hugo Drama

Hugo Gernsback: hey everyone its me, hugo gernsback Gernsback: editor of Amazing Stories and namesake of the hugo awards Gernsback: perhaps you've heard of them? Clive Barker: oh buddy Barker: buddy Barker: we've heard all about them ha ha

Stephen King: they're named after you? i thought they were named after victor hugo Gernsback: ha ha a common mistake Gernsback: but that's fine Gernsback: i'm not mad at all that victor hugo keeps getting the credit Gernsback: i think its funny Gernsback: in fact i'm laughing

Gernsback: ah yes my precious hugo awards! Gernsback: the most prestigious award in science fiction and fantasy! Gernsback: a place for serious business Gernsback: certainly no room for shenanigans here Gernsback: no room for tomfoolery Gernsback: no room for clownish buffoonery

Gernsback: The Hugo -- an award whose very name rings with integrity & honor!   Gernsback: it is no mere nebula! no paltry clarke! Gernback: the stoker, the howard, the lambda - none can compare! Gernsback: the L Ron hubbard writers of the future award? pah! dust before the hugo!

Gernsback: only the choicest cuts of science fiction and fantasy would ever achieve the lofty hugo award Gernsback: an award forever untainted by shenanigans or hijinks! Gernsback: now to take a big sip of coffee and read this  file 770 report!

Gernsback: what the--?! Gernsback: my beautiful hugos!!! tainted by the foul stench of corruption!!! Clive Barker: yeah boy i bet victor hugo's just sick about it Gernsback: Barker: just sick about what they did to his award Gernsback: Barker: ha ha Poe: clive leave him alone

Gernsback: my hugo!!! you were supposed to be a thing of beauty... not this monstrosity! Dean Koontz: gosh he's so sad about his award Koontz: do you think it would cheer him up if i gave him my nickelodean kids choice award? Poe: i think that would be a very nice gesture dean

Chris M Barkley: [thrusting microphone] Mr gernsback! mr gernsback! a statement for the press? Jason Sanford: [thrusting microphone] how do you respond to the allegations about your award mr gernsback? Gernsback: confound these intrepid newshounds of the 4th estate!

Gernsback: [wiping brow] don't worry, we will be taking measures to fix this Barkley: what are you going to do mr gernsback? Sanford: the people demand an answer mr gernsback! Gernsback: we'll uh Gernsback: we'll nominate an essay called 'Dave McCarty Can Fuck Off Into the Sun'

Gernsback: what a debacle! i cannot believe my good name will now forever be associated with such shady practices! HP Lovecraft: hey when are you gonna pay me for my story you ran? Gernsback: new phone, who dis?

Gernsback: you know who this really hurts? Gernsback: worse than the nominees secretly disqualified for politics? Gernsback: worse than the entirety of Chinese science fiction secretly disqualified for being Chinese? Gernsback: worse than the winners whose awards are now tainted?

Gernsback: the person that this hurts most of all Gernsback: is clearly bitter karella Gernsback: for reasons i can't articulate Gernsback: everyone should immediately go and heap conciliatory praise on bitter karella Gernsback: truly the most wronged person of all

Bitter Karella: [bravely holding back tears] no no it's not about me Bitter Karella: [voice cracking] my only thought is for the hugo community who has been through... so much... Bitter Karella: [stoically gazing into distance] they're the REAL heroes

Gernsback: look how bitter karella keeps a brave face... for our sake! King: god bitter karella is so brave... and so modest! Poe: truly a great goblin Poe: possibly the greatest Koontz: why? what did they do? Poe: dean! show some respect!

[roach-kinnie]

canon barricade boys as they’re introduced

honestly reading this part of the brick is basically reading a list of headcannons off tumblr but i digress

Enjolras

…a charming young man who was capable of being a terror.

- essentially both a nerd and a jock

- very very pretty

- cares about justice, not women

- his speech can be harsh and intense

Combeferre

He was learned and a purist, precise, eclectic, hard-thinking, and at the same time imaginative ‘to the point of fantasy’, his friends said.

- very close with Enjolras, and really balances his out

- believes that education is really important in society

- gentle, and while he could fight would rather not

Jehan

Jean Prouvaire was a lover; he cherished a pot of flowers, played the flute, wrote verses, loved the people…

- learned Italian, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew to be able to read poetry

- likes to walk through meadows of wild flowers

- he likes to contemplate social issues and the immensity of the heavens

- kind in a way that kindness is like greatness

- an only child

- awkward and shy and fearless

Feuilly

There is no more powerful eloquence than that of indignation based on true conviction, and his was the power that he possessed.

- makes fans

- an orphan - he likes to say that his country took the place of his mother

- he taught himself how to read and write

- affectionate and warm hearted

- is really passionate about issues beyond France (greece, poland, hungary, etc)

Courfeyrac

He possessed that youthful ardour that may be termed the infernal beauty of the spirit.

- ditched the de part of de Courfeyrac because it was too bougie and he wanted to be like lafayette

- he’s essentially the heart of the revolution

- he’s “decent” (victor hugo did him dirty here)

Bahorel

He was a born agitator: that is to say, he enjoyed nothing more than a quarel except a rebellion, and nothing more than a rebellion except a revolution.

- wears crimson waistcoats

- connected the ABC to other groups

- his motto is “no lawyers”, he would literally button up his coat every time he walked by the law school to avoid ‘contamination’

- he has no regular habits but likes to stroll through paris and go to different cafes

Bossuet

Bossuet was a cheerful but unlucky young man, notable for the fact that he succeeded in nothing. On the other hand, he laughed at everything.

- so very bald

- he’s poor, as in basically always broke but still finds a way to squander money when he can

- merry and cheerful and good humoured

- studying law

- couch surfs, but mostly lives with Joly

- bald

Joly

For the rest, he was the gayest of them all.

- med student

- disabled and uses a cane

- jolly and eccentric

Grantaire

Grantaire was a young man who made a point of believing in nothing.

- goes by R because of grand R (aka capital R because he’s such a nerd)

- knows where all the best alcohol is

- so fucking ugly

- a boxer, gymnast and dancer

- completely and utterly in love with Enjolras

[rubberbutton]

So, I have this wacky Javert & Cosette detective agency AU idea that I’ll probably never write…

Post-Seine Javert starts a private detective agency — reuniting loved ones, shutting down extortion rackets, stopping forced marriages, things like that. He doesn’t make any money because he fails to collect payment on the rare occasion he’s not working pro bono. [Very Angel Investigations, sans vampires … unless?] The work is both penance and its own reward.

Bored of social calls and society dinners, Cosette decides to help him in his work. Javert refuses her, but she keeps showing up. She proves herself useful, as no one ever suspects her of being a double agent, she’s clever, and she can cry on command — which is an incredibly effective distraction. Since Paris’s underworld is already familiar with him from his previous profession, Javert has had difficulty making progress on some of his cases. But Cosette is entirely unknown. Grudgingly, he allows her to help on his smallest, safest, most respectable cases. Which rapidly escalates into her running the place. He’s really not an ideas man.

There are capers! Escapades! Daring rescues! A heart-warming Christmas episode!

Valjean and Marius are given to believe that Cosette’s time is spent volunteering with ladies aid societies. When the truth comes out, Valjean is apoplectic, and it’s the first real risk to his relationship with Javert (well, post Seine, haha), especially when Javert makes it Cosette’s choice whether to continue. Marius’s anger burns out much quicker; that boy is nothing if not easily led.

Meanwhile, Montparnasse has filled the leadership vacuum left by Thénardier and has made great inroads in the Parisian organized crime scene. With Javert foiling many of his more lucrative business interests, Montparnasse decides it’s time to deal with with him more permanently...

Other odds and ends for this ‘verse:

Javert accidentally adopts some urchins when he attempts to cultivate them as informants, but they keep showing up like stray cats when they realize he’ll feed them. 

Having heard it in her tenderest years, Cosette quickly picks up the accent and argot of the street and becomes a mistress of disguise.

She also purchases an umbrella with a stiletto hidden in the handle, which she mostly uses to underline her better rhetorical flourishes.

Whilst Javert is not an easy man to like, Cosette appreciates his honesty. Granted, that honesty is couched in the most pessimistic, condescending and insulting way imaginable. But after her father and her husband gaslighting her for years, it’s a relief to not second guess the information someone gives her. 

They both appreciate having someone to commiserate about Jean Valjean’s idiosyncrasies with. “You know the way he clears his throat when he disapproves, but won’t say he disapproves — and if you ask him if he disapproves, he’ll deny it?” “I know it very well!” 

After Jean Valjean is finished being furious, he moves right on into being jealous. He wanted them to get along, but not quite this well. He of course would rather eat glass than admit it. 

Also, as many of les amis survive as I can reasonably get away with. Definitely Courfeyrac, because I like him. Probably Bahorel, in case they need some additional muscle when working a case. And Joly because they’d need someone with a medical background to identify the cause of death/provide medical aid. Also no one should die with a cold, talk about insult to injury. 

Anyhoo. Everybody lives happily ever after with a gentle ’90s TV glow. Fuck you, Victor-Marie Hugo.