#htbh reviews

[heyteenbookshey]

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

So this came out when I had started grad school and was struggling big time with my undiagnosed OCD. I read one chapter and it freaked me out so much I gave it to my friend to read. Like a year later I decided I wanted to try it again and asked to borrow it, but she had gotten BED BUGS and had to throw it out and THAT freaked me out so bad I waited another five years and one severe OCD diagnosis to try again.

Turtles All The Way Down feels exactly like what it's like to be inside the mind of someone with OCD. John Green discussed* his own experiencing with OCD in a vlogbrothers video a few months prior to release saying, "it seems to me that the stuff happening way down inside of us is difficult to talk about, partly because those experiences aren't really accessible by the senses.  You can't usually see or hear psychic pain and it's difficult to describe without simile or metaphor..."

I can't be anyone but someone with OCD reading this book, already armed with knowledge of the psychic pain, but reading it feels like you are inside Aza's anxiety wracked terrified mind from start to finish.

Oh, here's the Goodreads summary:

Aza Holmes never intended to pursue the disappearance of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Pickett’s son Davis. Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts.

WEIRDLY I am not going to talk about this whole mystery thing more than to acknowledge that it's part of the plot and I don't know why? It's such a strange plot that doesn't feel fully realized. I couldn't help but read it in terms of how it highlighted Aza's OCD (contact with things that scare her like a germy river, struggling to connect to others) more than the plot itself. Which I can excuse, I always feel internal conflicts are more interesting than external ones but in this case internal is SO MUCH bigger and more compelling, having an elaborate and strange mystery surrounding it just felt odd. The campy nature of the mystery in conflict with the gritty realism of mental illness felt unbalanced, like you couldn't process both at the same time.

It is a testament to how compelling Aza's struggle with OCD is that I'm still giving it 4.25 stars. I would recommend this book for anyone with a friend or family member who is struggling with OCD and want to understand more completely what is happening. Green doesn't shy away from the gross and scary and honestly OCD can get really gross and scary. It's awesome to read it done so well.

Possibly the best thing about this book is Aza's relationship with her best friend Daisy. Daisy is a highly successful Star Wars fanfic writer (fanfic portrayed right by the way!) who works so freaking hard--she works at a Chuckie Cheese type restaurant and does all her schoolwork on her phone, working hard to get to college and willing to go to great lengths for her friends and her personal goals. She's awesome, and I would pay any amount of money for to read Daisy Ramirez spin off.

While I could have done without the PLOT of it all, I can always do without the plot of it all. It's possible that having such a sticky strange plot to occasionally cling to balanced things out. Without something happening outside of Aza this book could have been one big long thought spiral.

I do recommend my fellow people with OCD be thoughtful about reading it (I recommend that of anyone reading a book that they will read in some way as being about them). There's a reason I ripcord ejected from it at the height of my illness. But reading it from a balanced (if not cured) place? It's just EXCELLENT

Date Published: October 17, 2017

Date Read: May 17, 2023

Rating: 4.25/5 tuataras

*possibly for the first time publicly, but I no longer have an encyclopedic memory of vlogbrothers videos

[heyteenbookshey]

If You Could See The Sun by Ann Liang

Goodreads summary:

Alice Sun has always felt invisible at her elite Beijing international boarding school, where she’s the only scholarship student among China’s most rich and influential teens. But then she starts uncontrollably turning invisible—actually invisible.   When her parents drop the news that they can no longer afford her tuition, even with the scholarship, Alice hatches a plan to monetize her strange new power—she’ll discover the scandalous secrets her classmates want to know, for a price.   But as the tasks escalate from petty scandals to actual crimes, Alice must decide if it’s worth losing her conscience—or even her life.

I love urban fantasy. Like so much that maybe I would like fantasy fantasy if I gave it a shot but why would I give it a shot when cool books like this are out there?

Poor student at a wealthy school is not a new premise, but the nuances of Alice's situation upped the ante. If she has to leave her school where she is a top student Alice's options are to be a student lagging behind in a local Chinese speaking school, or going across the globe to face familiar discrimination and live with a distant relative. So I get it when my girl starts using her invisibility for monetary gain, and I can roll with the moral weirdness of some of it.

It's all fun until it gets VERY SERIOUS ALL OF THE SUDDEN?? Like 70% of the novel is reasonably increasingly complicated invisible heists then suddenly it gets VERY REAL but also not real at all because in a lot of ways there's not enough consequences.

From the jump Alice identifies her academic rival Henry as her ultimate enemy--ENEMY ENEMEY ENEMY--but at the drop of a hat asks him to go into business with her, then is like oH yeah but I hate him! And at one point is like oh wait guess we're dating then she and then and then--

and it's not will they won't they, she's confused and conflicted and feels both things at once. It's like the book itself dropped all stakes in the relationship when she went to him with her secret then acted like the stakes were still raised for the rest of it. In this, and the iron straight moral conflicts, it honestly felt sometimes like I was reading a middle grade book until a "fuck" popped up.

But oh my god the starring moment of the book is when Alice realizes she forgot she has a test and her breakdown bleeds off the paper. It's so intense and shame filled and that awful sticky foggy devastation that this is it this is the world falling apart was so real and visceral I had to stop reading for a beat!!

Despite having familiar tropes the book feels incredibly fresh. I love a good boarding school book and an international boarding school in China is a completely different playing field. The book ends with some pretty big questions unanswered, and if there was a sequel it would be my next book.

Not everything has to be edgy edgy complicated, and this is good fun especially for urban fantasy fans looking for a little romance.

Date Published: Oct 11, 2022

Date Read: May 9, 2024

Rating: 3.5/5 ghosts

[heyteenbookshey]

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

Goodreads summary:

Xiomara Batista feels unheard and unable to hide in her Harlem neighborhood. Ever since her body grew into curves, she has learned to let her fists and her fierceness do the talking. But Xiomara has plenty she wants to say, and she pours all her frustration and passion onto the pages of a leather notebook, reciting the words to herself like prayers—especially after she catches feelings for a boy in her bio class named Aman, who her family can never know about. [W]hen she is invited to join her school’s slam poetry club, she doesn’t know how she could ever attend without her mami finding out. [I]n the face of a world that may not want to hear her, Xiomara refuses to be silent.

I first read this in 2023 and thought it was EXCELLENT and this time listened to it as an audiobook and it was EVEN BETTER. Read by the author, her cadence creates a hypnotic rhythm that makes you not want to stop reading. I like poetry more than the average person but a lot of spoken word sounds the exact same, treacly and demanding. This audiobook was three hours of fresh.

X lives in the zinging vibrant world of New York City, but under the control of her frightening mother you can almost feel the walls closing in on her where just getting to an after school club requires a high degree of secrecy. The writing makes this heavier as it goes on, so when things reach a crescendo we are almost as tired and desperate as X is.

Every character is drawn so specifically and clearly, even side characters like the priest and an associate of her brothers feel as real as X herself. Writers looking to lean into more sparse detail rich writing will do well to read this.

Having read the book book and listened to the audiobook I recommend the audiobook first, HOWEVER my only, only complaint is one choice they made in the production. Four minutes from the end of the book the author breaks character and interrupts the story to inform the reader as herself what the poem she's about to read looks like on the page and how someone reading the poem on the page might choose to read it. Then she gets back into character and reads the poem, then shortly after the story is over.

There is no reason to tell people who are only listening how someone READING the poem could read it, and because it came at the end I though oh is this the end? Is this the authors note? But no, the moment before the climax just got interrupted to no benefit of mine so all the tension that she worked so hard to build was ripped up right when it could be more rewarded.

But you know what? It's still a 5/5. I still recommend the audiobook--but just be ready for that and try to keep the tension with yourself even though production bizarrely decided to break it for us.

I also recommend this for young people (or any people) who want a non-intimidating introduction to poetry. As a story told by a young Dominican woman in Harlem it also centers a voice and setting not defaulted to in todays YA landscape that needs to be heard and is heard so beautifully.

Date Published: March 6, 2018

Date Read: May 6, 2024

Rating: 5/5 verses

[heyteenbookshey]

The Authentics by Abdi Nazemian 

Abridged Goodreads Summary: 

Daria Esfandyar is Iranian-American and proud of her heritage, unlike some of the “Nose Jobs” in the clique led by her former best friend, Heidi Javadi. Daria and her friends call themselves the Authentics, because they pride themselves on always keeping it real. But in the course of researching a school project, Daria learns something shocking about her past, which launches her on a journey of self-discovery...With infighting among the Authentics, her mother planning an over-the-top sweet sixteen party, and a romance that should be totally off limits, Daria doesn’t have time for this identity crisis. As everything in her life is spinning out of control—can she figure out how to stay true to herself?

Guest reviewer time! Visiting HTBH today is my friend Anna who is great and psyched about this book. Check out her thoughts: 

This adorable YA story about cultural identity, finding yourself, being authentic, and adoption is the perfect diverse read. Here’s a quick look at all it has to offer: Strong independent Iranian-American teen who makes tons of mistakes and is full of emotions without being eye rollingly angsty

A hilarious and adorable group of friends that I kind of want to hang out with

A realistic and flawed (but trying to do better) type of family that you can’t help but love (and probably relate to)

Real emotions! Complicated and conflicting ones! Especially regarding difficulties of high school and friendships and being adopted 

Thought provoking messages

what does it mean to be authentic? How do you stay true to your cultural identity?

A bit of real Iranian history snuck in to make the story deeper without being a boring history lesson

this book legitimately made me a smarter person 

And it might have made me tear up a bit?

Find Anna at her book blog The Bibliotaph 

[heyteenbookshey]

Here Lies Daniel Tate by Cristin Terrill: Author Interview

Abridged Goodreads Summary:

When ten-year-old Daniel Tate went missing from one of California's most elite communities, he left no trace. He simply vanished.

Six years later, when he resurfaces on a snowy street in Vancouver, he's no longer the same boy. His sandy hair is darker, the freckles are gone, and he's initially too traumatized to speak, but he's alive. ... It's perfect. A miracle. Except for one thing. He isn't Daniel Tate.

He's a petty con artist who accidentally stumbled into the scam of a lifetime, and he soon learns he's not the only one in the Tate household with something to hide. The family has as many secrets as they have millions in the bank, and one of them might be ready to kill to keep the worst one buried.

Hey Teen Books Hey: Your book “Here Lies Daniel Tate” is coming out on June 6th! Is the week before a book comes out as glamorous/anxiety-ridden as I think is? (Very on both counts)

Cristin Terrill: There’s definitely more anxiety than glamour! Having a book come out is a very weird feeling, at least for me, because it feels quite distant and not entirely real. You wait and wait and wait for the day but then… nothing really changes. Presumably some people are buying and reading your book, which is awesome, but also feels very abstract most of the time. And the worrying never stops!

HTBH: Was any of the book inspired by real events?   

CT: Yes! The book was inspired by the true story of a man named Frederic Bourdin who impersonated a boy named Nicholas Barclay who had disappeared many years before. The true story is so wild that I had to tone down several aspects of it or no one would have bought it in novel form.

HTBH: What challenges did you face when writing from this narrator’s point of view? 

CT: The narrator was definitely tricky for me. He keeps a lot of secrets, both from others and from himself, which made for a difficult balancing act on my part, figuring out how and when to parse out certain pieces of information. He’s also callous and manipulative and very closed off to others, which is a hard mindset to get into and to write from. I wanted him to be relatable enough that you’d want to follow him through an entire novel but not so sympathetic that he lost his bite. My natural inclination is to make characters too kind and give them too many opportunities to justify or redeem themselves, so fighting against that was tough for me.

HTBH: The narrator repeatedly tells the reader that he is a liar, so there are infinite ways to read the book depending on what you believe. Do you know when he's telling the truth? 

CT: Yes. I don’t think I could have written him without knowing what the truth really was. But if it’s ambiguous to readers, great. I love it when a book leaves something up to me to decide and so I try to leave those spaces for readers of my books.

HTBH: While thrilling and almost fantastical at times, Here Lies Daniel Tate is pretty firmly realistic fiction. Did you approach writing Daniel Tate differently than writing All Our Yesterdays, which was science fiction? 

CT: Not really. The universe of Daniel Tate is realistic but very heightened; it takes place in our world but is definitely not an everyday experience. The bulk of All Our Yesterdays, and almost everything else I’ve ever written, is the same. Genre-wise, my writing is all over the map. The common threads for me are more to do with theme and tone.

HTBH: Are you more of a methodical outliner or fly by the seat of your pants writer? 

CT: I’m a very big outliner! I don’t start writing until I have a very comprehensive outline and I rarely deviate much from it while writing. To me, idea generating and word generating are really different and I work better when I separate them. Plus the books I write tend to have some pretty complex plot elements that I’m definitely not smart enough to wing!

HTBH: Did you listen to music while you wrote this?

CT: Nope! I wish I could but I get far too easily distracted. I do most of my writing in a silent study room at the library with my noise cancelling headphones on for good measure.

HTBH: In keeping with the Hey Teen Books Hey brand, what is favorite library of all time? 

CT: TOUGH ONE. I usually write in libraries, so there are many that have a special place in my heart, like the Holborn Library, where I wrote the book that got me my agent, the White Oak Library, where I wrote All Our Yesterdays, or the Wheaton Library, where I wrote Here Lies Daniel Tate. I also love the British Library, because it’s super difficult to get access to on account of all the priceless stuff they have in there and I actually managed it once, which was beyond cool. But for both sentimental and aesthetic reasons, I have to go with the library at Vassar College, my alma mater. I had actually crossed Vassar off of my list of potential schools until I got a brochure with the most beautiful photo of the library on the front and then decided I should reconsider.

Here Lies Daniel Tate debuts on June 6th. You can find Cristin on tumblr and twitter and her website

An advanced copy was provided to me in exchange for an honest review and I read the whole thing in 3 hours and liked it way a lot and haven’t reviewed it yet but my endorsement is obvi A+