#hphm lockhart

[carewyncromwell]

Okay, I blame @maleliddell for making me think about this, but...this Lunar New Year marks the year of the Dragon, right? And the thought occurred to me that Charlie would be so disappointed if it turned out he was not born in the year of the Dragon, so I looked it up. And when I did, I found out something that just cracks me up.

Charlie was born in 1972...year of the Rat. As in Percy's-pet-Scabbers Rat.

So yeah, definitely sad Charlie, knowing he wasn't born in year of the Dragon. But to rub some salt into the wound, you want to know which Weasley was born in the year of the Dragon?

PERCY.

Yes. The least outdoorsy, hot-tempered, and wild of all of the Weasleys was born in 1976, a year associated with Charlie's favorite magical creature. Sorry, I just find that absolutely hysterical. 😂

(The other Weasleys' Chinese zodiac signs under the cut, just for kicks!)

Arthur ~ 1950 ~ Year of the Tiger

confident, brave, magnetic, idealistic, thrill-seeking, arrogant, selfish; symbolizes bravery

Molly ~ 1949 ~ Year of the Ox

diligent, gentle, hardworking, reliable, patient, materialistic, stubborn; symbolizes diligence

Bill ~ 1970 ~ Year of the Dog

helpful, honest, trustworthy, unselfish, pessimistic, anxious, timid; symbolizes protection

Charlie ~ 1972 ~ Year of the Rat

ambitious, charming, talkative, resourceful, private, frugal, critical; symbolizes wisdom

Percy ~ 1976 ~ Year of the Dragon

outspoken, energetic, generous, intelligent, perfectionistic, egocentric, impatient; symbolizes authority and good fortune

Fred and George ~ 1978 ~ Year of the Horse

amusing, enthusiastic, independent, persuasive, irresponsible, moody, opportunistic; symbolizes indomitable spirit

Ron ~ 1980 ~ Year of the Monkey

entertaining, intelligent, optimistic, sociable, fickle, secretive, unpredictable; symbolizes cunning

Ginny ~ 1981 ~ Year of the Rooster

adventurous, charitable, funny, loyal, argumentative, boastful, self-involved; symbolizes punctuality and fidelity

[nocontext-hphm]

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Alright who’s worse: Lockhart, or Dumbledore? 😂

Oh dear god how do I choose 🤣

Lockhart doesn't have the "his intentions were good" argument that Dumbledore can hide behind. His motivations are entirely selfish. He steals away achievements from people who are less "marketable" which is hard not to see as an allegory for minorities, and his use of memory charms just sickens me. I explore this in my fic but I feel that memory charms are morally reprehensible and the Potterverse just doesn't really take them seriously. Then there are the implications that come with Lockhart using memory charms on teenagers...when many are stated to fancy him...🤭😨

But Dumbledore....

-Deep inhale- Oh Dumbledore.

It's downright scary how blindly loyal everyone in the wizarding world is toward Dumbledore. The only people who question him are the Death Eaters, and that's only because of his politics. But Dumbledore is so beloved that people have wanted him to take over as Minister for years, despite him not being at all qualified...and that's creepy. If the past few years have taught us anything, it's that we should leave politics and public service to the Professionals. Still, even if he never became Minister, he might as well have. He's the de facto leader of the Wizarding World.

Don't even get me started on Harry.

How Dumbledore groomed him from literal infancy to be the Chosen One. Took it upon himself to decide where Harry should grow up, even though he isn't family or a legal guardian. (Say, whatever happened to the Potters' Will, Dumbledore? 🧐) And he chooses to leave Harry with muggles who will abuse him. Supposedly it was because of the blood wards, but they didn't exactly stop the Dementors, did they? No, I think he wanted Harry to be "rescued" by the Wizarding world so that he wouldn't take it for granted. So that he would want to save it. Notice how he very firmly insisted that Harry should not know he was famous growing up. It's the same reason he refused to tell Harry about the prophecy until he was "old enough" to know.

Dumbledore was also planning Harry's death for a very long time. At least as long as he was aware Harry was a Horcrux. And despite that, he had the nerve to say things like "Can't you see the flaw in my plan? I cared too much about you?" No he didn't. He needed Harry to believe that he did to build Harry's loyalty. It's the same reason that he blatantly stole a House Cup victory from Slytherin, to win Harry's trust and loyalty. In doing so, he also rewarded Harry for breaking rules and putting his own life on the line. Dumbledore provided positive reinforcement for that kind of behavior time and again, while pretending that he didn't want Harry to suffer the trials he had. Don't forget the time he decided not to veto Harry being in the Triwizard Tournament, just to see how it would play out! (Technically, that scene is only in the film, but we never get a reason in the book, and it's totally in character for him.) All the while, Dumbledore enables Snape at every turn. Defends a vindictive child abuser to his last breath, while also hanging Sirius out to dry. He perpetuates the idea that Harry and Snape's rivalry is two-sided. That Harry's bias against Snape is his own fault. He quietly guilts Harry for hating the man that regularly insults his dead father.

I could go on about Harry, but this is Hogwarts Mystery focused blog, so let's discuss MC.

Let's talk about Dumbledore being absent for long stretches of time when the school is actively in danger. Let's talk about how he was the one who brought Rakepick into the school, and obviously sanctioned her efforts to train "apprentices" against the Vaults. How he consistently gave MC one hundred house points at the end of each school year. Once again stuffing the ballot, once again rewarding a student for rule-breaking and dangerous behavior. Encouraging them to continue it. Then at the end of fourth year, he abruptly changes his tune. Gives MC a year-long detention for doing what he previously gave them hundreds of points for. Gave them a Prefect Badge for. Note that only MC gets these detentions. Charlie and whoever you bring with you? They don't get punished, only MC. Then he sanctions Rakepick's apprentice team the very next year! Let's talk about how Dumbledore demanded that MC promise not to get involved with the Dementor attacks, even though R was already making it clear that they were intentionally involving MC. Oh and apparently learning a spell to defend yourself from the Dementors counts as breaking that promise. Let's talk about all the secrets about Jacob that Dumbledore knew and kept from MC, the least of which being the legilimency thing. How Dumbledore had previous experience with Snape teaching MC about this topic and should have known better than to put Harry through that.

I could go on. I could. Seriously, I have more to say. But I already spiraled out of control. 😂 I think you have your answer, though.

[marmotish]

Saw that you watch Derry girls too and the drawing too. And I just realised Freyja is like Sister George Michael

((that’s funny because one of the many lies/half-truths freyja tells when someone asks her what the hell she was doing between graduation and the second wizarding war was that she almost became a nun 😂))

“The guest speaker’s here. He’s … one of your lot.”

“.. a Hogwarts graduate?”

“Kind of young, a bit of an arsehole, but oh my god… AMAZING HAIR.”

yeah ok so from like 1994 onwards Lockhart was a permanent resident in St Mungo’s but what if he recovered enough after the war to become an annoying motivational speaker or smth??

[slytherinliththorne]

She was a punk. He did ballet.

[indigobackfire]

The real reason why Lockhart left 👀

[hogwarts-pastry]

i sense a pattern here

[flowtheshine]

When nobody invited him, this old man made bunch of teenagers to held valentine party for him and decided to interrupt others’ date just to get a juicy resource to write his own book.

And who even need those 800 roses anyways (I think he just bought it for himself just to make a scene) , just 1 rose from your significant ones is more than enough 🤧🤧

[themoralmenace]

Valentine’s Day - party dedicated to the ever so charming Gilderoy Lockhart.

Starting off with the two options we got to wear to the party. I went with the dark pink one because I preferred the hair choice that came with it.

I chose Talbott this time as my Valentine, he looked rather dashing in this rose pink colour.

After Lockhart put a (terrible) memory charm on us, Talbott took us to the Herbology classroom to get some alone time.

He had a special gift for us that we did not expect so we had to come up with something quick to impress him as well…

So poor birdie had to be turned into a Howler, but Talbott seemed pleased with it.

The token of gratitude was a kiss on the cheek.

[hp-madness]

Vaultober2021 Day 21: Enemies

Anyway, this duo should be together

[carewyncromwell]

"No more, the crap rolls out your mouth again! Haven't changed -- your brain is still gelatin! Little whispers circle around your head... Why don't you worry about yourself instead!?"

~"Holier Than Thou" by Metallica

x~x~x~x

[transcribed from art, for easier translation]

Olivia: Cool your jets, Jacob, that prat isn't worth it. Duncan: Better to get back at Lockhart when there isn't a Hall full of witnesses around. Olivia: Not helping, Duncan.

x~x~x~x

Happy belated birthday, Jacob Cromwell!

In celebration (?), I thought I'd salute one of my personal favorite headcanons about Jacob that I haven't had much of a chance to explore...namely, that Jacob shared a dormroom with the one, the only Gilderoy Lockhart!

Yes, as you can imagine, Jacob hated Lockhart's bloody guts. 😂

Really, though, it wasn't hard for Jacob to hate Lockhart when that "toothy prat" would act like the smartest guy in the room and yet cowardly avoid any challenges or duels that could contradict that overly shiny self-image Lockhart had of himself. Old Gilderoy was also prone to grab more attention from female students than Jacob did, even with his ridiculously puffed-up ego, for his good looks and (marginally) better people skills. Oh yeah -- and then there was Lockhart's attempt to marginalize Jacob, Duncan, and Olivia's hard work dealing with the Cursed Vaults terrorizing Hogwarts by acting like he'd suspected how to break each curse all along and (even more insultingly) insinuating that it was really him who'd instructed the three Cursebreakers in the methods they'd used to break them. Lockhart even brashly reiterated this one infamous Valentine's Day in his and the Trio's fifth year when he received 800 Valentine's cards and presents (which, as it turned out, were all from Lockhart to himself) --

" -- such beautiful gifts and cards! No doubt from fans both across and outside Hogwarts itself! They must've heard of my heroic efforts toward helping break the curses on the Cursed Vaults! Taught Duncan Ashe everything he knows about puzzle solving...and poor Miss Green was clueless in dealing with those boggarts until I showed her the proper method! And those Acromantula, ho ho...I daresay our favorite Cursebreakers would've been helpless in communicating with those beasts, if it weren't for me teaching Jacob some basic phrases..."

Even if his friends successfully held Jacob back physically, they didn't stop him from verbally tearing into Lockhart.

"'TAUGHT ME SOME PHRASES?!' Acromantula are capable of HUMAN SPEECH, you brain-dead numpty!"

Ultimately Lockhart's little stunt came to an end when the Great Hall had to be cleared of students so the teachers could properly deal with the 800 owls and their 800 packages and letters cluttering up the room. Lockhart's interest in stealing credit for dealing with the Cursed Vaults waned for a short time after Olivia's disappearance, Duncan's death, and Jacob's expulsion, but came back in full when Jacob's sister Carewyn likewise had to deal with them. Fortunately Lockhart failed to collect enough information about Carewyn's adventures to take credit for them and was forced to retreat with a very basic Memory Charm as his goodbye before she or her date Andre Egwu could put together his true intentions. And more fortunately still, about six years later, Lockhart got his just desserts when all of the lies he told to score cheap fame and success came to light.

No one was more pleased when the world finally conjured up enough brain cells to see Lockhart for the idiot and fraud he was than Jacob Cromwell. And ironically enough, the world had also finally conjured up enough brain cells to see for who Jacob really was by then -- not a delinquent as so many had presumed for so long, but an eccentric, brilliant wizard with iron-clad loyalty, incredible magical talent, and a heart as brave as Lockhart's is cowardly.

[mizutoyama]

Seriously, Bill…

[jasmine-curse-breaker-adlawa]

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

What do you think of Valentine's day?

The TLSQ or the Holiday?

In general, I'm fine with it. A celebration of love, and also chocolate. I could never argue with that. What annoys me is the over-commercialization of it. How stores decorate for Valentines Day immediately after Christmas -_-

As for the TLSQ....I mean, I'm excited to play it. But they cut my top choice. The dialogue seems kinda sub-par, and the Lockhart cameo is just...why. Don't get me wrong, it'll still be fun, it's just...was anyone really asking for a third dating sidequest?

[otherworldly-realms]

Snape: Duel fairly.

Gilderoy: Bit of a cheater, are you?

MC: Never needed to cheat, don’t have to.

Gilderoy: What a remarkably confident student we have here, Snape.

Snape: I never said it was my child, you rat.

Snape, whispering to MC: Destroy him and do it painfully.

MC, whispering back: Consider it done.

[electricslytherindog]

Snape to MC: You are stupid.

Later

Lockhart: MC is so stipid.

Snape: