#hozier is gonna be up there on my spotify wrapped for sure

[wilyserpentofeden]

My neighbors, probably assuming I went thru a breakup: my god is that fucker listening to Unknown/nth again???? that's like the fifth time in a row today

Me, happily partnered but emotionally devastated about Aziraphale leaving for Heaven as if he left me personally: DO YOU KNOOOOW I COULD BREEEAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT

[moon-and2saturn]

Illicit Affairs

d.r.w. x reader

chapter vi

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: THIS STORY CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI!!! swearing, flirting, fluff, power dynamic; SMUT: kissing, touching, fingering, oral sex (f. & m. receiving), unprotected sexual intercourse, semi-public sex, breeding kink if you squint, a bit of exhibitionism, praise kink

A/N: This story is in collaboration with my wonderful, talented friends @gretavanstink & @childinthegardenn!! Go give them a follow and give @gretavanstink’s fics some love! Thanks for reading! :)

Listen to the official playlist on Spotify here!

chapter v

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

“Yes Mom, I packed my chargers!” You shout over your shoulder as you step out into the crisp Michigan evening. As you toss your last bag into the trunk of your car, you sigh and pull out your phone.

To: Rose🌹

Just finished loading the car, gonna say goodbye to my mom and then I’ll be over!

You slam the trunk closed and tap on your text thread with Daniel, a soft smile on your lips as you scroll through the last few messages between you. There hadn’t been much communication over break, just brief check-ins. The most recent was from last week when he was getting ready to go out with some friends from home. It was just a selfie while he was brushing his teeth, but it was possibly one of your favorite photos of him.

You snap a selfie in front of your car and add it to a message to Daniel.

To: Daniel🥁

All packed! Picking up Rose soon, we should be back around 7

With a long exhale, you head back into the house and smile sadly at your mom in the kitchen. She mirrors your look and steps forward, wrapping her arms around you in a tight embrace that you return. A soft smile spreads across your lips and you bury your face in her shoulder. She’s your biggest supporter and one of your best friends, saying goodbye is always hard.

“I’ll call when we get to the apartment,” you promise and she nods, sniffling quietly.

“Drive safe, honey,” she says, squeezing you one more time before stepping back.

“Don’t miss me too much, momma,” you say. “I love you.” You sigh and walk back outside, pulling the door closed behind you. As you pull the driver’s side door closed, you can see your mom in the window watching you pull out of the driveway. With a wave and another sad smile, you leave your home for Rose’s, humming quietly to whatever song is on the radio.

You park in front of Rose’s house and honk the horn, popping the trunk before stepping out and smiling as she and her mom step onto the porch. Her mom waves with her free hand as they walk towards the car with Rose’s bags, packing them into the trunk and closing it.

“Hi Y/N,” Rose’s mom says, smiling as she pulls you into a warm hug.

“Hi Laura,” you say, returning the squeeze and stepping back as she lets you go. “Thanks again for another memorable New Years.” A grin spreads across all three of your mouths and Rose giggles, recalling the terrible round of very drunk karaoke that took place at the lake house.

“Anytime, hon,” she says before turning to Rose. “You sure you have everything?”

“Yes mother,” Rose teases, smiling as Laura pulls her into a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Laura says, squeezing Rose one more time before shooing her into the car. She grabs your hand and squeezes it as you climb into the driver’s side. “Drive safe, let me and your mom know when you get there.”

“We will,” you promise, turning the key in the ignition. “Love you, other mom.”

“Love you, Y/N,” she smiles and pushes the driver’s side door closed, stepping up onto the sidewalk and waving as the car pulls away. 

As you merge onto the highway, your phone lights up in its mount on your dashboard with a text from Daniel. Your cheeks flush as Rose grins and side-eyes you.

From: Daniel🥁

Waiting patiently

“So you’re gonna keep this whole thing going?” Rose breaks the silence as you reach up and swipe the notification away. “Are you taking another one of his classes?”

You blow out a breath and roll your shoulders, your cheeks still warm with color. “Yes and yes,” you answer as casually as you can, changing lanes to pass a truck. The day you had scheduled classes for this semester had been a no-brainer, of course you were going to take another one of his classes. You had gone back and forth between a couple of different options, but eventually settled on Byzantine Art and Architecture, wanting to get a little view of Daniel’s specialty. 

The rest of the drive turns into a karaoke session only slightly better than New Years and before you know it you and Rose are trudging into your building. You each drop your bags inside the door and flop onto the couch, both of you happy to be back in your own place.

“Are you seeing sexy professor tonight?” Rose asks, lifting an eyebrow in your direction.

“We don’t have plans,” you reply, shrugging and pulling your phone out and opening your texts.

To: Daniel🥁

We’re back!

“Right now I’m going to take a nap,” you say. “Playing chauffeur is exhausting.”

“Oh please!” Rose laughs, her head falling back against the couch. “You never let me drive!”

“Yeah well, you terrify me when you’re behind the wheel,” you giggle and head to your room, leaving your bags in front of your closet and crawling into bed. You sigh as you tug your comforter up around your shoulders and let your eyes close, trying not to let yourself hope for a text from him when you wake up.

You startle at the sound of your phone buzzing from your nightstand and groan, unsure of how long you’d slept, but as you blink the haziness of sleep away, you smile. A call from Daniel lights up your screen and you accept the call, sitting up in your bed.

“Yes?” You ask, the smile on your face evident in your voice.

“Put on something nice and come outside,” he says, the sound of his car running in the background.

“My drive back was great, thanks for asking,” you tease, tossing back your blanket and swinging your legs over the edge of your bed. “I was sleeping when you rudely woke me up.”

“Cute,” he quips, blowing a laugh through his nose. “Now, put on something nice and come outside.”

“Okay, okay pushy,” you giggle, rolling your eyes as you hop off your bed and rifle through the clothes in your closet. “I’ll be out in a few.” 

After hanging up, you swap your current leggings and t-shirt combo for a deep purple sweater dress and slip on a pair of black chelsea boots. “I’m going out!” You shout to Rose as you grab your purse and keys and step out into the hall. 

When you exit your building, you can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips as you jog down the stairs and open the passenger side door of Daniel’s car. You hardly have the door closed before Daniel’s fingers are tangled in your hair, his lips crashing into yours in a heated kiss.  His tongue swipes across the seam of your lips and you part them, giving him access to stroke his tongue against yours.

“Hi,” you breathe out when you finally break the kiss, your eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze.

“Hi,” he smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before pulling the car out onto the road. You settle into your seat and sigh, happy to be back. Obviously, because you get to see Daniel again, but even just being back in the city has helped your mood.

“So,” he begins, drawing you out of your thoughts. “How was your break?” 

“It was good,” you reply, glancing over at him as he drives. “I’m glad to be back, though.” 

“I’m sure you are, sweetheart,” Daniel says, moving his hand from the steering wheel to rest on your thigh, just below where your dress stops. Your cheeks heat and you feel the color spread down your chest as a smirk graces his lips. His fingers knead into your flesh gently and you sigh, resting your head back against the seat but turning your face to look at Daniel while he drives.

 He must have come straight from the office to get you, as he’s wearing his usual black slacks and white button-up. Of course his sleeves are rolled up, exposing the cords of muscle of his forearms that he knows drive you wild. And, despite the chill of Detroit in January, the top few buttons of his shirt are undone, giving you just a glimpse of his chest hair. You know you’re staring, but you can’t bring yourself to care as his thumb traces circles on your skin.

He glances at you, turning his eyes back to the road quickly, and for a moment you can see a genuine smile on Daniel’s face before it shifts into his usual smug smirk. “Penny for your thoughts,” he says, his hand drifting up your thigh, pushing the hem of your dress up a fraction. 

“Just content,” you say simply, turning away from him as you feel the color in your cheeks spread to the tips of your ears. Daniel hums in response and draws his hand further up your thigh, exposing more of your skin with every inch he moves.

“Just content?” He parrots, turning it into a question, as his hand slips between your thighs, brushing against the silk covering your core. You shiver under his touch and bite back a sigh, your arousal beginning to soak through where his hand now rests. “Seems to me that you’re a little more than content,” he adds, slipping a finger beneath the fabric and dragging it through your folds.

“Daniel,” you moan softly, your eyes fluttering closed as you let your legs fall apart slightly. His finger flicks against your clit, making you jump, before he pulls his hand away entirely, returning it to the steering wheel. You whine and shift in your seat, the complete loss of contact making you pout.

“Not so content now?” Daniel asks, his lips curving into a wicked smirk as you squeeze your thighs together. He laughs as he puts his hand on your seat and looks over his shoulder to back into a parking space. You swear you could fall apart at just the sound of his laugh.

“You’re cruel,” you quip, shooting him a glare before hopping out of the car before he cuts the engine. You hear his laugh again and your knees threaten to give out as he slips out of the driver’s side, his hand sliding across your lower back as he steps up next to you.

“Come on,” Daniel says, nudging you towards the bar down the street. You roll your eyes as you start walking and Daniel leans down to press a kiss to your temple. “I’ll take care of you later,” he whispers in your ear as he opens the door for you, swatting your ass lightly as you pass by him and into the bar. 

As you step up to the bar, Daniel pulls a stool out for you, his hand brushing your hair away from your neck as his lips ghost over your skin before he takes his seat on the stool next to you. You shiver, goosebumps raising down your arms and legs, and situate yourself on the bar stool, trying to ignore the heat between your legs. 

“Gin and tonic?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you as the bartender approaches your section of the bar. You nod as your cheeks flush, he remembered your drink order. As quickly as the thought comes, you force it away. It’s not like it’s a complicated drink order. But you can’t deny the butterflies it gave you. Daniel orders for the two of you and soon enough you’re sipping your drink as he swirls his old fashioned, his free hand coming to rest on your thigh again.

“So,” you say, breaking the silence. “You missed me.” 

You nibble on the end of your straw and smile innocently, angling your body towards him. He lifts his drink to his mouth and you study the way his lips touch the edge of the glass, the way his Adam’s apple moves as he swallows. And then his eyes lock with yours and you fight the urge to look away.

“From the car ride over here, I’d say you missed me, baby,” he replies as he lowers his glass back to the bartop, squeezing your thigh roughly as he turns his body towards you, your knees now nestled between his. You bite back a moan and narrow your eyes at him. Two can play this game. 

“Says the one who showed up at my apartment barely two hours after I got back,” you say, your forefinger tracing shapes on the inside of his forearm as he rests it on the bar. Your voice is sickeningly sweet as you look up at him through your eyelashes, raising an eyebrow and tilting your head to the side slightly before adding, “Professor.”

You watch as Daniel shifts on his stool and you smile triumphantly, the idea that you’re just as good at getting under his skin as he is with you fueling your boldness. Until he grabs your stool and pulls you closer, bringing his lips to your ear.

“You want me to tell you how I missed you?” He whispers, his fingers slipping under the fabric of your dress slightly. 

“How I missed the sounds you make?”  His fingertips dig into your thigh, his other hand leaving the bar to trace the contour of your neck, sending a chill down your spine. “The way the taste of you lingers on my tongue? The way it feels when your pussy squeezes my cock as you cum?”

Daniel pulls back to look at you and grins as he takes in the blush that has crept over your entire face and disappears below the neckline of your dress. He smirks and winks, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip as his eyes rake over you. “Poor thing, you really thought you were winning that battle,” he teases.

“Again, you’re cruel,” you huff and swat his hand away as he chuckles and tosses back the rest of his drink. His eyes flick between your face and your drink, the one that you’re currently still biting the straw of. You pause for a moment and look up at him indignantly, holding his stare as you wrap your lips around the straw and drain your glass.

“Let’s go,” Daniel says as he tosses a $50 onto the bar and grabs your hand, pulling you towards the door. You smirk and follow after him, jogging lightly to keep up as he leaves the bar with you in tow. In the time that you’d been inside, it had started to mist outside.

“Where are we-” you start to say before you’re cut off by Daniel pulling you into the alley that runs next to the bar and pinning you against the wall. He plants one hand on your waist, the other tangling in your hair at the nape of your neck and tugging your head back slightly. You meet his eyes and smile innocently, batting your eyelashes. “Did I strike a nerve?”

Daniel tugs on your hair and your breath catches in your throat, your lips parting as you stare up at him. He captures your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue stroking against yours as he presses you into the wall with his hips. You feel him hard against you and your knees threaten to give out as you moan softly into the kiss. His free hand moves to the back of your thigh and he hitches your leg up, your dress riding up as he grinds against you. 

“I missed-” you pant against his lips, cut off by what had been a light mist turning into a full shower. Daniel lifts his head and looks up at the sky and both of you fall into a fit of laughter as you fix your dress and he grabs your hand. You jog back to his car together and you reach for the passenger side door, but Daniel tugs on your hand and spins you so you’re pinned against the back door. 

“Daniel,” you giggle, bracing your hands on his chest. “It’s raining.” You stare up at him, his curls hanging heavily and his white shirt clinging to his skin as the rain soaks you both, and you realize you’d do anything to stay in this moment forever.

“I know,” he says simply, his eyes roaming your face. “You missed me.” He smirks and pulls you away from the car, opening the door and nudging you into the backseat. 

You raise an eyebrow at him as you scoot back across the seats, leaning against the opposite door as he climbs in after you. You dangle one leg off the seat and slowly bend your other, your dress riding up as you rest your leg against the back of the seat. Daniel pulls the door closed and he blows out a breath as his eyes travel up your body, pausing for a moment on the black silk barely hidden by your dress now.

“I remember you,” he says, kneeling with one leg between yours, the other braced on the floor to keep him on the seat. His calloused fingers scrape against your skin as he pushes your dress up, the skirt now fully bunched around your waist, leaving you exposed. You shiver as the cold January air kisses your skin and Daniel drops his lips to your jaw, one hand planted beside your head on the door. His other hand brushes between your thighs and you feel his lips pull into a smirk as he trails kisses down your neck. “You’re soaked.”

“Well, it is raining,” you breathe out, wishing he would stop teasing you and give you the contact you’ve been craving.

“Not what I meant, smartass,” he says, and you shiver as the breath from his laugh rushes over your skin. 

“Daniel,” you whisper, your fingers tangling in his wet curls. “Touch me.”

“Gladly,” he says and lifts his head, flashing you a smile before his lips take yours again and his hand slips beneath the waistband of your panties. You sigh softly against his lips as he makes slow, lazy circles around your clit and you break from the kiss to lean your head back against the door. Daniel hums and smirks, bringing his lips back to your neck. 

“That’s it, baby,” he murmurs against your skin. “Relax and let me take care of you.” His fingers drift away from your clit and you almost whine, but the sound catches in your chest as he slowly presses his middle finger into you, curling it forward to stroke against your g-spot. Your eyes flutter closed as your hips rock forward to meet the gesture, a quiet moan escaping your lips as Daniel sets an easy pace.

“Please,” you whimper, needing more from him.

“Please what?” He asks, nipping at your ear as he uses his thumb to circle your swollen bud. 

“More,” you beg, rolling your hips again.

“So needy,” he teases, sucking at the spot below your ear as he adds a second finger, curling it in sync with the other and quickening the circles he makes with his thumb. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, feeling your release start to build in your abdomen. You meet his pace with your hips, riding his fingers as you chase your orgasm. “Don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” he assures you, his fingers and thumb working in tandem to send you spiraling. Your thighs tremble as you start to come apart, your head spinning as you bite your lip to stifle your moans. 

“Let go,” Daniel whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. Your back arches and your mouth falls open as you unravel, his name tangled with the moans falling from your lips. His fingers slow as he works you through your climax, his lips still against your ear as he whispers praise to you. “So good for me, that’s it.”

When you open your eyes, you find him staring back at you, a pleased smirk tugging at his lips. He slowly takes his hand from between your legs and holds your gaze as he sucks his fingers into his mouth, humming around them before removing them. Your cheeks flush bright pink and you fight the urge to break from his stare.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Daniel says finally, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips as he tugs the skirt of your dress back down for you. “Come on, let’s get you home.” He pops the door open, climbing out first and helping you out of the back and into the passenger seat. 

The short drive back is quiet, just the sound of music coming from the radio filling the car, and Daniel’s hand rests on your thigh, only leaving its place when he parks the car in front of your building.

“Thanks for the welcome back,” you say, running your fingers through your damp hair and laughing softly. He smiles and winks, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“See you in class,” he replies, chuckling at the look of surprise on your face. “What? You think I didn’t notice your name on the class roster?”

“Whatever,” you quip, rolling your eyes playfully. “See you in class, professor.” 

· · ──────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

The first few days of the semester go the way they usually do, incredibly boring. It was mostly going over syllabi and test dates and assignments throughout the semester. The first day of Daniel’s class had been the only even somewhat interesting day, and that was just because you got to see him briefly. It’s a smaller class, being a higher level and all, but somehow there had been so many questions regarding the syllabus that you hadn’t been able to get him alone. In fact, you haven’t had him alone since Saturday night and you’re starting to think you might be going through withdrawal.

As your first Thursday lecture wraps up, you slip your laptop into your bag and sling it over your shoulder as you stand, eager to get over to the art building. Back-to-back lectures usually made you question your sanity, but Daniel’s lectures never felt like lectures. Maybe because of who was doing the talking, but you genuinely found yourself enjoying the subject.

You pop your earbuds in as you walk out into the chilly morning, humming softly as Hozier’s Too Sweet fills your head, and make your way across campus. As you step into the building and make your way to the classroom, you spot the girl that had sat a few seats away from you in Daniel’s class on Tuesday. You quicken your pace slightly and catch up with her, adjusting your bag on your shoulder.

“Hey,” you greet her with a smile. “I think we sat in the same row the other day.”

“Oh hey,” she says, returning the smile as you walk into the room together. “Yeah, we did. I’m Allison.”

“Y/N,” you offer, sidestepping down the third row to your seat. You slip your laptop back out of your bag and set it on your desk, opening up the notes you took while you did your reading last night. “So, art major?”

“Yep,” Allison says, leaving a seat in between you as she retrieves a notebook from her bag. “Art history. You?”

“Oh, I’m a philosophy major,” you say, brushing a speck of dust off your screen. “I just have a special interest in art history.”

The two of you chat as the room fills up and you glance over your shoulder just as Daniel walks into the room. You mouth a quick “Hi” as his eyes meet yours and turn back to your conversation with Allison. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Daniel watching the two of you and, when the conversation ends, you glance at him. His eyes flick between you and Allison but he just shrugs, his expression bordering on bored as he puts today’s slides on the projector.

“Alright,” he says, clapping his hands as he stands from the desk. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Daniel gestures up at the screen as he starts his usual pacing, his eyes scanning the room. “Who did the reading and knows what this is?”

You look up at the screen and smile to yourself, raising your hand and looking at Daniel expectantly. His eyes don’t fall on you, though. Instead, he cocks his head to the side and raises his eyebrows at a seat to your right.

“Allison,” he says, folding his arms across his chest. You drop your hand into your lap and pick at your thumb absently, trying not to pout as she answers.

“It’s the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul,” she says confidently, her face remaining indifferent.

“Someone did the reading,” Daniel says, nodding his head at her. You glance at her to see a smug smirk on her lips. “Now can anyone tell me what was special about the Hagia Sophia?”  Your hand goes up again and this time Daniel nods to you.

“The architects pioneered the use of pendentives to redistribute the weight of the dome over the square base,” you explain, smiling as Daniel nods and continues his path up the aisle. 

“Very good,” he says. His eyes linger on you for a moment before he advances to the next slide, launching into an explanation about the structure beneath the dome. As Daniel flies through the slides, you’re glad you took notes on the reading, you would’ve had trouble keeping up. Even with your notes, you find yourself missing a few details. Oh well, you think. At least it’ll give you an excuse to visit his office.

Before you know it, the class is finally over and it’s time to go home for the weekend. As the students start to clear out of the classroom, you pick up your backpack and look over at the desk at the front. Right as your eyes fall on him, Daniel looks up from his laptop and gives you a soft smile, then nods in your direction, telling you to come over. You oblige, looking over both of your shoulders to see if anyone is paying that close attention before walking out of the aisle and to the front of the room. 

“Walk up to my office with me? I have some things that I need to discuss with you,” he says as he stands up from the chair and slips his computer into his bag. You nod and wait for him to pack up, then follow him up to his office. You hate to admit it, but talking to him in his office after class was always something you looked forward to. Especially if there wasn’t much talking being done. You don’t think that’s where it’s heading today, though. 

As soon as you reach the third floor, you walk over to his office and enter the room, shutting the door behind you. He sets his things down on the desk and leans back against it, crossing his arms over his torso as he looks over at you. His expressions soften as he just looks at you for a brief moment, as though he’s taking you in. 

“Do you have anything going on tomorrow night?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. You catch a glimpse of hope in them, which makes you smile. 

“No, not really. I probably would just be spending it at home, why?” you answer, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. You can see his lips quirk upward into a smile, just for a moment. 

“Well, I’ve got this gig at the club with Sam and the other guys tomorrow,” he says casually. You wait for him to say more, but nothing else comes out. You look up at him and can sense some nerves, so you think that some light teasing could do the trick. 

“Hmmm, I see… And?” you ask, smirking up at him as you cross your arms to mirror him. He breathes out a quiet sigh of defeat. 

“And… I was wondering if you would want to come?” he continues, his pride slightly stunted by your act of feigned obliviousness. You giggle quietly to yourself and let it simmer before replying. 

“I don’t know,” you say curtly. His eyebrows raise up as he studies you. “Do you want me to come?” The corner of his mouth turns upward into a smirk as he pushes off the desk and approaches you. 

“Oh, this is how you want to play today. Okay,” he says, leaning his hands on either side of the chair as he towers over you. You feel your cheeks flush as he gets closer, cornering you in. “Yes, I want you to come. Very much.” His nose brushes against yours as you look up at him and your lips turn upward into a smile. 

“Yeah?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Need my number one fan there to keep me on point,” he answers, his lips so close to yours that you can feel his breath. 

“Who said I was your number one fan?” you jest, and you see him roll his eyes before moving one of his hands to cup your chin and tilt your head up. 

“You’re not fooling anyone, baby,” he says, his lips only centimeters from yours. You can tell that he’s holding himself back, but he won’t give in until he gets your answer. “So, you’ll come?”

“Of course I’ll come,” you say, smiling at him before he finally closes the distance between you. His hand cups your cheek softly, his thumb rubbing your cheek as he leans into you. After a short moment, he pulls away, retreating back behind his desk. 

“Did you drive today?” he asks. You shake your head.

“No, not today. Rose borrowed my car to go to the grocery store this morning, so I just took the bus,” you answer with a shrug. 

“I see,” he says, gliding his tongue along his bottom lip as he thinks for a moment before looking down at his desk and starting to gather some papers up. “Let me take you home, then. I just have to pack up some things here first.”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary. I don’t mind the bus,” you insist. You can tell that he isn’t going to take that answer. 

“Sweetheart, it’s below freezing outside. I’m taking you home,” he asserts, his eyebrows softening as he looks across at you over the desk. You sigh, then offer a shy smile before relenting. He puts some papers into his bag and then walks the two of you to the parking garage not far from the building. 

The ride is brief and mostly silent, with the radio playing quietly in the background. You can tell it’s the classic rock station because every once and a while, you can hear him humming the melody of the song under his breath. You didn’t always notice little things like that about people, but with him you almost couldn’t help it. 

He pulls up in front of your building and puts the car in park, leaning his elbow on top of the center console as you turn to him to say your goodbyes. His other hand reaches up to cup your cheek, leaning in to kiss your lips softly. His hand pets your hair softly before pulling away to let you out of the car. He leans over a bit to reach for the handle, pulling it and pushing the door open for you. Considering how long his arms are, he didn’t have to reach much. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you offer, smiling at him as you step out of the passenger side door. 

“It was no trouble. See you tomorrow, love,” he answers, smiling widely and sending over a quick wink before you shut the car door and retreat to your building.

Your cheeks are completely red at the nickname as you walk, rather quickly, into the building and up to your apartment. You almost run to your room, shutting the door loudly behind you and jumping into your bed. Almost on cue, Rose bursts into your room and sits on the edge of your bed with a smug look on her face. 

“What did he do now?” she asks with a smirk. God, how does she always know? You sigh, throwing your head back onto your pillow.

“He invited me to a show he’s playing tomorrow,” you sigh again, sitting up on your elbows to look at her. “He told me he wants me to come.” Rose shrieks and you throw your hands onto your face to cover the blush on your cheeks. “That’s not even the worst part.”

“When he said goodbye just now, he called me love,” you say, your hands still covering your face. You feel her smack your legs excitedly. 

“Oh my god, he loves you!” Rose yells, laughing gleefully. 

“Shut up, he does not love me! It’s not like that, it was just a nickname,” you answer, rolling your eyes. 

The next hour consists of her teasing you about Daniel and how much he loves you, which you find absolutely absurd. She also helps you pick out an outfit to wear tomorrow, which you’re grateful for. She finds a leather skirt that you had at the back of your closet, which is perfect. You pair it with a tight white halter top and find a white lace bra to match. You knew he loved it when you’d match your lingerie, so you had to throw that in. 

The next day, you get ready for the night, putting on your makeup and curling your hair loosely. You get dressed and slide on a pair of black heeled boots and then head out to the living room. Rose offered to drive you there, since you have a feeling that you’ll be staying the night. 

“Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Rose shouts as she pulls up in front of the club and you quickly get out of the car. 

“That’s a low bar!” you quip back, shutting the door and then walking into the club. It’s already bustling, with the bar lined up with people. As you approach the bar, you see Daniel there, leaning against it at the end. As he sees you approaching, his head perks up and he flashes you a charming smile. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close. He places a quick kiss on your lips, and you can feel him smiling against them. His excitement to have you there was so cute, you feel like you could just die on the spot. 

“Hi, Daniel,” you answer, looking up at him with a soft smile. His arm stays around your waist as his thumb strokes the exposed skin of your midriff softly. “Feeling nervous?”

“With you here? Never,” he says confidently with a smirk. After a beat, you see his eyes wander to something behind you and he checks his watch. “It’s about that time, I’ve gotta go.”

“Alright. I think I’m gonna get something to drink,” you answer with a reassuring smile. He nods and gets the bartender's attention for you, who nods and then assists the person he’s with at the end of the bar first before coming over. 

“Order whatever you want baby, you can just tell them to put it on my tab,” he says with a soft smile as he leans down to place a kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll come find you after, yeah?” With that, he rubs your back sweetly before turning to walk down the long corridor to the back of the stage. 

You lean over the bar and wait for the bartender to come over, ordering yourself a gin and tonic. Soon enough, he hands you your drink and you turn to find a seat in the crowd. You see an empty chair in the front and quickly sit down. Luckily for you, it has the perfect view of the drum set. 

You swirl the ice around in your cup with your straw nervously as you wait for the band to come on stage. It’s your first time seeing Daniel perform since the night you met, which is somewhat daunting. The show taking place in the same exact bar doesn’t do much for your nerves either, sending waves of memories through your head and clouding your thoughts. 

The group of men finally walk across the stage and you recognize Sam first, who sits at the piano to your left. The guitarist and saxophonist walk across next, who you don’t really know or recognize, but your mind is immediately distracted from them once you see Daniel out of the corner of your eye. 

You watch as he sits down behind the drums, stretching his arms out and cracking his knuckles before taking his drumsticks out of his back pocket. You roll your eyes and try to hide the flush of your cheeks as he twirls one of them through his fingers, looking over at you with a smirk. He’s playing a dangerous game, and you fully intend to play along.

Daniel starts the first song off, hitting the snare drums hard before the rest of the band comes in, picking up a quick funk beat. You nod along, trying your best to spread your attention to all of them and listen to the music, but you can’t help it when your eyes are just glued to Daniel. Your Daniel.

The second that thought falls into your head, you attempt to shake it away. He’s not yours. But, isn’t he? It may not be explicitly labeled, but you can confidently say that you’re the only one he’s going home with tonight, no one else. That’s enough to fuel your confidence for now. Anyone can look, but no one else gets to have him– not like you do.

And, God, you want to have him right now. His sleeves are rolled up slightly above his elbows and you can see the muscles of his forearm flexing each time he has a particularly long solo. Your eyes linger there longer than you intended and when you finally look up, he’s looking right at you. 

You bite your lip absentmindedly and he responds with his tongue pressing up against the inside of his cheek and raising his eyebrows at you. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you and it only spurs you on more. You adjust in your seat, crossing one leg over the other and fixing your skirt. You rub your legs together slightly just to give yourself any friction and you can already feel your arousal starting to pool between them. This show couldn’t end soon enough. 

The teasing back and forth continues throughout the entire first set. By the time they finish their last song and step off the stage for a quick fifteen-minute break, you can hardly sit still in your seat. The second he walks off the stage, he immediately approaches you, walking up from behind you to lean down over your shoulder and kiss your cheek. His arms caress your shoulders as his nose brushes against your cheek and his warm breath tickles your skin. 

“You up for some reminiscing?” Daniel whispers against the shell of your ear in almost a growl. You turn your head over your shoulder to face him, your noses now touching.

“I thought you’d never ask,” you answer with a smirk and he offers you his hand, which you swiftly take in yours. Before you know it, you’re walking down a dimly lit hallway toward the bathrooms, hand-in-hand. You were getting a strong feeling of deja vu, just like you knew you would. 

His hands cage you against the wall as his lips race to meet yours, hurried and desperate. He towers over you, his shadow engulfing you completely, and your head is spinning from the sensation of his tongue gliding against your lips to request access. His left hand moves to grip your hip tightly as the other reaches next to you to open the door to the bathroom, turning the handle and flinging it open. Still not removing his lips from yours, he swiftly guides you into the bathroom.

“Still no lock on the door, huh? Think you can handle it?” he says, his voice raspy and dripping in sex. You smirk as you back him against the wall next to the door, pushing his shoulders back before lowering yourself to your knees. 

“We’ll just have to be quick then, won’t we?” you say, looking up at him through your eyelashes before reaching to undo his belt. You see his eyes almost roll back in his head as he bites his lip, reaching down to undo the belt as you pull the zipper down and reach inside his boxers to take his painfully hard cock in your hand.

You lick a long stripe from the base up to the tip and you smirk as his head falls back against the wall and he lets out a low groan. You wrap your lips around the tip, humming around him before slowly sinking down to take him completely in your mouth. His hands wrap around your hand, pulling it back out of your face as you take him all the way back, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck, sweetheart, just like that,” he groans, his thumb stroking your cheek. You groan against him and his hips buck against you sharply, making you moan another time. You move your thighs together subtly, craving any sort of friction to distract yourself from your need for him. It isn’t subtle enough, though, because he immediately notices and pulls your head off him. 

“Aw, does she need some attention too?” he teases mockingly, pulling you up off the floor and backing you up against the sink, which feels oddly familiar. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” His lips capture yours quickly before his hand resting on your hips moves to flip you around to make you lean over the sink and face the mirror. 

He bends down and slides your skirt up to rest above your hips, then moves the fabric of your thong over to expose you to him. His fingers run through your slick and a stifled whimper escapes your throat. You don't even need to see him to know that he’s smirking behind you.

“So wet and needy for me, fuck… you just couldn’t wait, could you?” he says from behind you in a low growl. Before you have time to respond, his lips immediately attack your core, his tongue lapping through your arousal. 

“Shit!” you exclaim, bracing yourself against the sink as his hands grip your thighs tightly and his tongue teases your clit. He groans against you, sending shock waves throughout your body as you try not to completely collapse right then and there. If it wasn’t for his grip on your thighs, you probably would have fallen to the floor already. 

One of his hands leaves your thigh and moves to rub tight circles around your clit as his tongue dives through your folds, making your eyes roll back in your head. You feel your high approach at a rapid pace and you can hardly control the vulgar noises coming from your mouth. With almost no warning, your orgasm hits you hard and fast, washing over you so intensely that your vision goes blurry. He works you through it, lapping at you like a starved man before finally removing his mouth from you. You watch in the mirror as he stands up and removes himself from his pants again,  rubbing his tip through your folds as his other hand rests tightly on your waist. 

“Now this feels awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” he asks with a smirk, leaning down to kiss the back of your neck and nibbling lightly as you feel him position himself behind you. Right as his tip starts to slip inside you, you’re startled by loud repetitive knocking at the door behind you. 

“Daniel, I don’t care or want to know what you’re doing in there, but if you’re not backstage in the next two minutes, then we are going to have a serious fucking problem,” you hear the voice from behind the door yell, which you immediately recognize to be Sam. Fuck, when he said we’d be reminiscing, you didn’t think being interrupted was part of the deal. 

“Fucking hell,” Daniel mutters under his breath. “Alright, okay, I’ll be right there,” he answers loudly. He reaches down to tuck himself back into his boxers, zipping up his pants then adjusting his belt. He wraps his arms around your torso and places soft kisses from your collarbone up to your jaw, humming softly before resting his head on top of your shoulder. 

“Sorry, baby,” he offers softly, kissing your cheek. He leans back to bend down and look at you, still wet and dripping for him. You hear him mutter another “fuck” under his breath and then, to your surprise, he yanks your thong down your legs. You quickly turn around and give him a puzzled look, to which he chuckles as he slides the thong into his back pants pocket. 

“Just a keepsake to remind me of what I have to look forward to after this night is over,” he smirks, reaching to pull your skirt back down over your thighs for you with a wink. He kisses your temple softly before turning to open the door and then retreating backstage.

You stand there stunned for a moment, unsure of how you could possibly continue after that. After a quick existential crisis, you leave the bathroom and walk back to the bar, ordering yourself a double tequila soda and opting to sit at a barstool. You could not possibly handle another set full of teasing in your current state, so you think that it would be better to stay back here out of his view. The effect he has on you is completely and utterly pathetic, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

· · ──────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

Your hiding spot at the bar ended up being the best idea you could have ever come up with, and the set went off without any other distractions. You still found him looking your way here and there, but you successfully avoided getting yourself any more hot and bothered than you already were. By the time the show ended, you had finished your second drink and were successfully tipsy. 

Between the teasing, your interruption in the bathroom, and the tequila coursing through your veins, you were beyond ready to take him home. Once the show ends and he starts to approach you from backstage, you sit there praying that he’s thinking the same thing. As he sits down on the stool next to you, your lips turn downward into a small frown. He waves over to the bartender and waits for him to come over.

“What are you doing?” you ask, crossing your arms across your stomach with a small pout. The corner of his mouth tweaks into a smirk before he replies. 

“Ordering a drink,” he says smugly before the bartender comes over and hands him an old-fashioned. “What, don’t want to stay for another round? Got other plans?” He leans his elbow on the bar and takes a sip of his drink as he looks down at you, waiting for your answer. He knew exactly what you were thinking, so clearly he just wanted to play with you. Fine, two can play at that game. 

“Nope,” you answer with a sarcastic smile. “No plans at all actually. Another drink would be great.” His tongue runs against his bottom lip before he nods and then turns to the bartender to get you another gin & tonic. He hands it to you and then turns his body toward you to continue the conversation. 

“So, what’d you think of the second set?” he asks, resting his arm on the bar and scooching slightly closer to you. His knees brush against yours, slotting on either side of them as he hovers over you. You adjust in your seat, causing your skirt to ride up on your thighs slightly. Your eyes flick up to gauge his reaction and know that you’ve succeeded when you find them to be glued to your bare legs. You knew he was thinking about the fact that there was nothing beneath your skirt, and the thought thrilled you. 

“It was good! I liked that one Latin song near the end a lot,” you answer truthfully, offering him a soft smile. Countering your innocent façade, your hand in your lap moves to his knee, where your pointer finger traces small circles. You watch as he breathes out a long breath and licks his lips, then takes a sip of his drink. 

“Glad to hear that, I thought you might,” he says. With the alcohol in your system fueling your boldness, you allow your fingers to move upward from his knee to his inner thigh. Before you can get too far, however, a strong hand stops your hand and grasps around your wrist. “It would be wise of you to stop before you start something you can’t finish,” he warns. You look up at him and instead of a stern look across his face, you find a smirk. 

“Who says I can’t finish it?” you say, looking up at him as you take a sip of your drink through your straw. You watch closely as he looks over to the bar, waves the bartender over, and hands him his credit card. Before you can even fully finish your drink, Daniel’s hand is laced tightly with yours as he hastily guides you down the street and around the corner toward his apartment building. Mission: accomplished. 

He barely even shuts the door to his apartment completely before his lips attach to yours again and his fingers lace through your curls. You both kick your shoes off hurriedly as he backs you up toward his bedroom, pulling on your curls every once and a while, eliciting quiet whines from your throat. You can feel his smirk against your lips as he walks you through the threshold of his bedroom and shuts the door with his foot, backing you up until the backs of your legs hit the bed. Before he has the chance to lay you down on the bed, you interrupt him. 

“Lay down,” you hum against his lips before slipping out from under him, letting him lie down first on the bed. He quirks an eyebrow at you but obeys, intrigued by what you have planned for him. After he sits at the top of the bed, leaning on his elbows against the headboard, you climb up to straddle the bottom of his legs. 

You keep your eyes locked on his as you slowly unbuckle his belt, unlacing the leather from the buckle and sliding the zipper down. His eyes are dark, his dark brown eyes almost black in the pitch-black room, only lit up by the streetlights outside the window and the low light from the bathroom. You dip your fingers into the waistline of his pants and gently pull, bringing them down all the way to his ankles. Before tossing them to the floor, you reach into the back pocket and take out your thong that had been there all night, looking up at him with a smirk before tossing them both to the floor.

You crawl up his legs to straddle him, wrapping your hands around his neck as you bring his mouth up to meet yours. Your skirt has ridden up significantly by now, pooling at your waist and revealing your bare core as you sat on top of him. His hands sat steadily on your waist, holding tightly as you ground yourself down on him. A low groan leaves his throat and is muffled against your lips, making you smile against him as your tongue slips past his lips and meets his. 

His hand moves from your waist to pull the zipper of your skirt down behind you, pulling it down all the way then discarding it to the floor next to you. The same hand moves along your body up your torso to grasp at your breast through your tight shirt, squeezing tightly before reaching to pull the shirt off completely. Your fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt, undoing each one before helping him slide it down his shoulders. 

Your fingers glide down his chest as you remove your lips from his to slide down his body, hovering over his legs. You slip your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down all the way and tossing them to the side before taking his cock in your hand, pumping it a few times as you watch his eyes roll back in his head. You lean down over him, licking small stripes along the base before taking it in your mouth entirely, sinking down until your nose hits his stomach, brushing against the hair there. You watch as his head leans back against the headboard and his mouth is slightly agape, with soft groans leaving his lips. You grip his thighs tightly as you move your head, moaning slightly against him as you rub your legs together. You’d love nothing more than to make him finish right there, but you knew he wouldn’t let you. 

“Fuck, stop– not gonna last,” he groans, reaching down to pull your head off of him then wipes a spot of saliva off of your lips with his thumb. “Get up here.” 

You bite your lip and nod, moving up his body to straddle him once more. You position yourself above him and slowly sink down, adjusting to his size before taking him completely. You can’t stop the whine that leaves your mouth from the stretch, which is only amplified when his lips suck deep marks along your throat. His left hand caresses your breast softly as the other is planted firmly on your hip, guiding you down onto his cock as you throw your head back with a moan. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” Daniel mumbles against your skin, soothing the spot on your neck with his tongue before moving to your collarbone, sinking his teeth in slightly. You keep a steady pace as you ride him, trying to stay focused as he continues to leave marks along your skin.

 After a few moments of you taking the lead, you can tell that he’s growing impatient, and soon enough, his hands move to grip your ass tightly before his hips begin to slam up into you harshly. You brace yourself on the headboard as he fucks up into you, his pace brutal and deep. The sensation is almost too much to handle and you bite your lip in an attempt to stifle any loud cries. Seeing your struggle, he leans up to capture your lips in his.

His tongue slips past your lips and tangles with yours, and you feel completely engulfed by him. He delivers a particularly hard thrust and you whine into his mouth, spurring him on as he pulls his hand back and smacks your ass. He drinks in your arousal as you let out another moan into his mouth and his calloused hand soothes the spot along your skin before delivering another slap in the same spot.

“Mmm, fuck, I’m close,” he mutters against your lips, gripping your ass firmly as his pace becomes unsteady. Your head is spinning and all you can even think about is just the feeling of him inside you, clouding your judgment. 

“Fuck, please,” you whine, not even sure what you’re begging for. Just the thought of him finishing inside you at this moment was enough to bring you teetering over the edge. One of his hands slides up your back and grips the back of your neck as he pulls his lips off of yours, brushing his nose against yours as he looks up at you with his darkened eyes.

“Yeah, you want that?” he growls, lacing his fingers through the hair on the back of your neck and gripping tightly as he pounds into you. You nod feverishly, looking down at him with pleading eyes. “You want me to pump you all nice and full?” Your eyes almost roll back in your head at his words, but fuck, did you want that. 

“Yes, please,” you plead, leaning your forehead against his as you can hardly keep yourself up with your impending orgasm. 

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” he groans, thrusting harshly into you and throwing you immediately into your second orgasm of the night. The tight grip he holds on your hair keeps you grounded as he works you through it, thrusting hurriedly before meeting his own end. His other hand grasps the flesh of your ass tightly as his hips meet yours and you feel him finish deep inside you. He thrusts a few more times slowly, placing soft kisses along your jawline and on your cheek before lifting you up and off of him. 

Daniel pulls you in for a slow kiss, his lips engulfing your top lip as you sit atop his torso, your hands tangled in his tight curls. As you move from straddling him, his eyes fall to watch as his release drips out of you onto his stomach. They roll back in his head as he moves to sit up on his elbows.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he groans, his eyes lingering on you as you get off the bed and walk toward the bathroom. You turn over your shoulder to see if he’s following you and you giggle as he quickly gets up off the bed and follows after you, shutting the door behind him. 

After a brief shower, the two of you retreat back to his bedroom. He finds his boxers on the floor and slides them on, picking up his white button-up along with it. You smile as he tosses it over for you to put on. You accept it happily, sliding on your thong then slipping the shirt over your shoulders and buttoning a few of the buttons in the middle, just enough to keep it on. 

“How do you always manage to look better in my own clothes than I do?” he asks with a laugh, laying down on his side of the bed and leaning up on his elbow to look over at you. 

“It must be a high bar considering how good you look in them,” you answer cheekily, smiling at him as you climb into bed next to him. “I don’t have to stay, you know. I don’t wanna intrude,” you add, looking over at him hopefully. Despite the sweet nature of your relationship lately, you can’t help but feel insecure over how comfortable you’re starting to get with him. 

“No, I want you to stay,” he says with a soft smile, brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear. “I like having you here.” The spurt of bare honesty in this moment took you slightly aback. It’s the first time that he’s actually explicitly expressed these kinds of feelings toward you, and it shoots a pang of concern through your heart. 

You really don’t want to read too much into it, but how could you not, when he’s asking you to stay in this way? Does he feel as strongly about you as you do about him? You doubted it before, but now you’re starting to feel sure that he must see something there. 

“Well, I like being here,” you say softly, offering him a shy smile as you lay down next to him, nestling your head into his chest as his arm wraps around your shoulder. You breathe him in for a moment and close your eyes, smiling to yourself as you feel him place a soft kiss on the top of your head. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispers, resting his head atop yours with a sigh as his other hand traces circles along your hand that lays on his chest. 

“Goodnight, Daniel,” you answer, nuzzling your head on his chest once more before shutting your eyes and allowing your mind to wander off to sleep. 

As you breathe in the comforting smell of his cologne, your mind goes over the events of the past few months. After the way he’s been acting lately, especially after tonight, you were sure of it: You’re in love with Daniel Wagner. 

Your only concern is– is he in love with you? He explicitly outlined that you wouldn’t fall in love, so what now? The way he acts with you is the opposite of platonic, and the care he shows can’t just be general kindness. He must care for you, but the thought of scaring him away with strong words like “love” is the last thing that you want. 

You love Daniel Wagner, and for now, you’ll love him in silence. For now. 

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

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[dustisus]

Assigning the Foxes songs from my Spotify Wrapped based on their numbers (and whether I think the song fits them)

inspired by @odetojupiter !

1 - Dan - The Feminine Urge by The Last Dinner Party

Oh, pull your boots on, boys And push me down I'm only here for your entertainment

I am a dark red liver stretched out on the rocks All the poison, I convert it and I turn it to love Here comes the feminine urge, I know it so well To nurture the wounds my mother held

[...]

Failure to commit to the role, I admit Was a failure you achieved on your own Do you want me to care when you just disappear? I can't win them all (I can't win them all)

I do think this song fits her. "Only here for your entertainment" fits well with her work as a stripper, and the rest about her role as the person who has to keep the Foxes together. Maybe not by love, but by force, thus "Do you want me to care when you just disappear? I can't win them all"

2 - Kevin - On Your Side by The Last Dinner Party

I wish I didn't want you Wish I could do without This blood on my face Where you teeth sunk in Bite me again

When it's 4 AM And your heart is breaking I will hold your hands To stop them from shaking If it takes all night I will be on your side

Kevjean anthem. "Where your teeth sunk in, bite me again"? Jean 'I will rip your throat out with my teeth' Moreau, I see you. And then the refrain is so soft.

3 - Andrew - Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan

You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth

Besides this line, which is basically a quote from Neil, I don't really see it.

4 - Matt - Francesca by Hozier

Do you think I'd give up That this might've shook the love from me Or that I was on the brink? How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily? Now that it's done There's not one thing that I would change My life was a storm, since I was born How could I fear any hurricane?

I can see this part said to Matt by Dan. The whole song also has a feeling of devout, fought-for love that I can find in their relationship.

5 - Aaron - Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan

Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene

[...]

And you dance at the club Oh mama, I'm just having fun

You know I was gonna say no, this song can't be related to Aaron. But Aaron has dreams (of being a doctor, not a dancer) that his mom ridiculed. And he DOES dance at the club. So... it fits a little?

6 - Seth - Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party

I hope they never understand us

I put my heart inside your palms My home in your arms Now we know nothing matters Nothing matters

There is a bit of the tragedy of Seth Gordon here, but I don't know.

7 - Allison - Nothing Works by Declan McKenna

I feel wrong, I feel rehearsed I try to fix myself but nothing works I sing the song, and you didn't like the words I try to fix myself but nothing, nothing Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing Nothing, nothing, nothing works

This does not fit with the Allison from the canon at all, as canon Allison is so strong-willed. But maybe she did want to change and fit in with her family before. I don't feel strongly about this one though.

8 - Nicky - Too Sweet by Hozier

You keep telling me to live right To go to bed before the daylight But then you wake up for the sunrise You know you don't gotta pretend, baby, now and then

Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze? If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great

This doesn't really fit with Nicky x Erik. It fits insanely well if it were about Nicky x Kevin though, but I feel like no one's really ready for that.

9 - Renee - Flea by St. Vincent

Once I'm in, you can't get rid of me

Yeah this doesn't really work for Renee at all, according to me. But according to Renee, I don't know. Based on her saying she's a bad person trying very hard to be a good person, I'm not really sure about how she perceives herself or her motivations.

10 - Neil - Burn Alive by The Last Dinner Party

I am not the girl I set out to be Let me make my grief a commodity Do what I can to survive There is candle wax melting in my veins So I keep myself standing in your flames Burn, burn me alive

Have to say there is a lot of burning of Neil. But besides that, this song does not fit him.

11 - Jeremy - Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face

[...]

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad

(I think) Jeremy has canonically not had a real relationship so I don't think this fits him. But those three lines relate to some headcanons I might have about his past.

29 - Jean - Nobody's Soldier by Hozier

Choose between being a salesman or a soldier Just let me look a little older, let me step a little bolder Choose between being a butcher or a pauper Honey, I'm taking no orders, I'm gonna be nobody's soldier

*Sigh*, maybe someday. Really though I find this song a bit too political to relate to Jean.

If you read all of this, thank you so much. If you disagree with any of my opinions about whether the songs fit them, please tell me! I can be convinced otherwise

[bromcommie]

for the Spotify asks — I really wanna know 1, 9, 18, 19, and 21!

Hi hi, thanks for the ask!

So, I’m realizing as I start answering these that a LOT of my Wrapped is all songs from one singular playlist that loops while I sleep, so the resulting proportions of what I actually chose to listen to while conscious on there are heavily skewed—meaning, less than 20-30%, and those that did make it on there are....dubiously realistic? But whaddya gonna do. All that said:

1 - catchiest song

Taking this to mean "inexplicably got stuck in my head the most", in which case it’s a tie between Fantazija by Grše (inexcusable) and TUTTI FRUTTI by BRUJA & Adrian Minune (less inexcusable, but still inexplicable. Mostly because it’s in a language I for the most part don’t understand immediately upon listening, but it’s still been Up In There for waaaay too long this year. Which I guess proves its catchiness? And also that my deeply ingrained tendency to fall back into folky Balkan shit and/or trashy hype music every couple months transcends language boundaries.)

9 - favourite lyric of your #1 song

aaand the award for "most looped song while sleeping + sometimes also while writing fanfic" goes to this melancholy guy.

like a matador they'll adore you for every heart you tore through and like every matador before you they're praying for the bulls to gore you

I do have to cheat and follow that up with #2, which is the one I actually probably listened to the most while awake (which tbh I also wasn't expecting). Sharp turn into "Jesus Christ I can't believe this guy was apparently my most listened to again this year" territory:

Darling there’s a part of me I’m afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life the weeds up through the concrete the traffic picking up speed all my love and terror balanced there between those eyes To be fair it is a lovely song, and I did also loop it a lot when writing/drawing so you can once again make a case for skewing the algorithm or blame it on the blorbo disease of it all. But oof, man, still. I promise this year wasn't all that depressing.

18 - a song that describes your year so far

I Don't Live Here Anymore - The War on Drugs (feat. Lucius) 19 - Is the most streamed song by your favourite artist your favourite by them? According to Spotify Hozier was my most listened to this year, so no - while I do love Take Me To Church I definitely wouldn't call it my favourite. I'm not even sure I could pick out a favourite with him tbh.

play along to Spotify's AI nonsense with me!

[achillieus]

we’re fools (bucky barnes x reader)

summary: for all bucky barnes knows, he hates clichés. and this thing between you two, happens to be the biggest one.

(enemies to lovers trope or i watched the society on netflix recently and based this entirely on harry bingham and cassandra pressman)

pairing: college au!bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol, a lot of sexual references, but also a lot of fluff, bucky and reader are in love, also bucky gets cheesy and he hates it

(other parts)  (masterlist)

part 3/3:

Bucky thinks he fell in love on a Tuesday.

“This year, I’m gonna ask Peggy Carter out.” It’s the first day of their third semester and Steve is putting his black baseball cap in his perfect hair, checking his reflection on his phone screen. One of the freshman girls winks at him and he shyly half smiles.

Usually, Bucky would tease him about it, but now he’s attention is wholly on something else. Someone else.

A girl at the other end of the hall, holding a paper juice box, wearing a gaudy denim dress that stops right before her knees.

He’s certain he hasn’t seen her before and judging by the adrift look on her face he deduces she’s in her first year. Is she pretty? He can’t decide. She’s definitely something. And if he stares at her a bit longer than socially acceptable, well let’s say, it’s completely unintended.

“Buck, did you hear what I said?” Steve says at one point and Bucky isn’t sure for how long he has been lost in her figure.

“Yeah sure.” The girl starts walking at their direction -it must be your lucky day, Bucky-, clutching the golden heart jewel around her neck. She’s looking at the doors, she’s looking at the big campus map they have on the wall. She’s looking everywhere but at him and it’s almost offensive considering the amount of time he spent looking at her.

“I’m sorry,” And then she’s there standing a few steps behind Steve. Almost hidden behind his colossal demeanor. “I can’t seem to find the Admission Office.”

A small nervous laugh escapes her lips and Bucky watches the little wrinkles around her eyes, the subtle blush on her cheeks. She doesn’t look pretty. No. She looks consuming.

“Admission office is on the left, doll”. He replies a little too fast. He had to beat Steve. He had to talk to her.

She smiles at him and somehow, along that smile, Bucky thinks he fell in love. With you.

-

(bucky barnes has been in love with you for 563 days)

-

“Did you just kiss me?”

His voice is barely a whisper and his vision is blurry and it’s weird because suddenly he realizes how scared he’s of you. Of the power you have on him. An alarming craving. Every addiction he can’t control combined. Bucky isn’t afraid of many things, not exactly. But he’s afraid that you’ll take his heart and break it, if you want to. And he’s more afraid that he’ll just allow you to. He wonders, for the split of a second, if you have any idea how everything changed when your lips met his. How something inside of him shifted.

“I’m sorry,” You finally answer and he needs a moment to compose himself, “I’m so sorry I just thought-”

“Shut up, I’d died if you hadn’t kissed me.”

“What?”

It’s innocent and terribly oblivious, the way you ask him that and he half smiles, almost touches your palm before his mind stops racing. Ignores the alcohol in his body. Reminds him that he’s Bucky Barnes, that he’s clever and brilliant and a little bit narcissistic and that he doesn’t do love.  Not anymore. And that people adore him for that. And that he needs to uphold it. At least try to.

“I’m not repeating that soppy thing I said,” He drawls and smirks, his teeth gleaming in the fluorescent light of the hall. He has his mask back on. He’s playing his part again. And then he takes a quick step, opens his door and turns around, swift motions and hard grips and suddenly your spine hits the walls of his room. “But you can repeat that sexy thing you did with your tongue.”

Bucky isn’t stupid. He knows he’d perish and wither in a blast if you asked him to, yet he would never admit that. At least not so fast. And specially not to you. He has built his persona so carefully, wore it like an armor, it has become a second skin.

His chapped lips scratch soft against your neck, his hands play with the end of your dress and you observe the way his orbs are colored darker now. He knows what he’s doing. It’s a show he’s practiced. His touch is sharp, like a razor, cuts through your epidermis, comes close to your veins and the muscles of your heart.

And you’re ready to close your eyes, savor every minute of it, offer yourself like an altar and let him wipe the rationality out of you, but the moment his fingers find the wet silk between your legs there’s pain and your throat dries out instantly.

“Bucky, wait.”

“What’s wrong doll?”

“Can we stop?”

There’s the cruel split of a moment where the anxiety inside of you flares up dangerously and you fill like on the edge of a cliff, like falling and it’s horrible. And then you see his body relax, breathing a sigh of relief and laughing.

“Thank God you asked.”

“Barnes,” you hit him with your elbow, “You’re doing wonders for my self esteem right now!”

“You’re an idiot,” he replies with a grimace, “It’s just that I’m drunk and I prefer if I’m not drunk when we have sex. I want to remember the whole thing.”

A strange sensation tingles somewhere between your ribs and your stomach, something so pure and new, and it raises goosebumps all over you. And you smile at him.

And somehow along that smile, Bucky’s mask starts to fall.

/

Bucky Barnes, you learnt within your first month in college, is a year older than you, a proud boy that always asks the right questions and always gives the right answers, with charms and wits of a living god.

Bucky Barnes, you learnt the night you kissed him in the narrow aisle, may have a sharp tongue but he also has the sweetest lips, soft and liqueur like.

Bucky Barnes, you learn some days later, doesn’t want many people to know about you two, and sits three tables away during lunch.

/

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

Your mind is racing with dozens of hurtful possibilities, some more or less, and Bucky looks at you, eyes widen and surprised.

“Why would I be embarrassed of you?”

“I don’t know,” you take the tea cup in your hands, drink and stay silent for a while, observe the way he’s fidgeting with his fingers, “Why else would you avoid me whenever there’s someone else but Sam around?”

It takes some time before he walks closer, sits next to you by his bedframe and touches your hand, your skin freezing under his.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

Your heart almost stops, because Bucky is never scared, and his answer feels strangely heavy and bitter from his lips when he says, “I just don’t want anyone to ruin this.”

He doesn’t smile, doesn’t even smirk like he usually does, just stares at you with narrow eyes and a quick breath.

“Bucky, I hate it to break it to you,” you say, a glint of amusement in your voice, “But I don’t think others care that much about us.”

You cup his face in your hands, guide him backwards, his back hitting the pillow and it’s the first time he has no choice but to comply.

“And even if they do,” you breath in, wet your lips and tease the corner of his mouth with your finger, “It’s not our problem.”

Bucky grabs the back of your neck, shifts even closer to you, his heart not missing a beat. And when you kiss him, he smiles. And somehow along that smile, Bucky becomes more of himself.

/

It goes like this;

People read it in his eyes. How his gaze never leaves you even while you’re writing a test and he needs to concentrate, how he looks mesmerized when you braid your hair while scanning the textbook in front of you. How he could find you even in the middle of the biggest crowd.

People see it in your reactions. How your fingers always wrap around his wrist, almost instinctively, before he leaves, and you kiss him one time on the lips, and then one more on the cheek. How your voice changes as soon as he enters the room. How you’d know he’s here even without looking.

You really have to try to be oblivious to love.

/

(text messages between classes)

(10:26 AM) bucky: hey does taylor swift have to be playing in the background when we have sex

(10:27 AM) you: it’s not even noon bucky what the hell

(10:27 AM) bucky: i went through your spotify and APPARENTLY you have a  “🍆🍆🍆” playlist

(10:27 AM) bucky: and it’s just taylor swift and hozier???

(10:27 AM) bucky: who the hell wants to have sex with a taylor swift song playing

(10:28 AM) you: I’m gonna kill you

(10:28 AM) bucky: nah <3

/

It’s surprisingly easy, dating Bucky Barnes, and by the end of the first month, you feel at home, at ease.  He talks a lot, way more than you expected him to, he shares his favorites, the way he always underlines quotes he likes in the books he’s reading or how he never eats anything that has soy in it. He shows you everything about him, not just who he is, but who he’s ever been. And it’s beautiful.

And you observe how he breathes easier now, smiles more. He doesn’t keep his guard up, doesn’t flinch when nobody’s looking at him.

/

He thinks it’s weird.

He thinks it’s weird, because kissing has always been an act of foreplay to him and he never paid much attention, but now, with you, he could spend his whole life kissing you.

But when you start pulling at the buttons of his black expensive shirt, well, it’s not like he’s complaining. He presses his body against yours, his hands almost shaking, his fingers burying in your hair, slowly tugging.

“Bucky,” You breath in his neck, “I may be bad at this.”

“What?” He whispers as he leaves wet trails all the way to your chest.

“I haven’t done this before, so I may be bad at it.”

He stares right at your lips, notices your sweet cherry scent mixing with the sharp notes of his aftershave, touches the spot under your eyes and smiles.

“Guess we’ll have to do it over and over again then.” He’s half laughing, half kissing your shoulder and you can feel your cheeks flush and your entire being tighten.

And then his cold fingertips draw circles on your inner thighs and you close your eyes, and Bucky forgets how to breath.

/

“I probably sound like a fool but, I’m in love with you.”

You didn’t plan on saying it that early, but he’s here, warm and glistening and in your arms and you can’t go another minute without hearing the words out loud.

“And I probably sound competitive but, I’ve been in love with you since God knows when.”

/

(AH IT’S FINISHED BUT YAY THEY’RE IN LOVE)

tagging: @tonystankschild @osterfieldshollandgirl​ @roguesthetic @buckyjms​ @ohladymacbeth​

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

_________________________

Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to. 

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows. 

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets. 

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later. 

Then came The Witchers. 

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see. 

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live. 

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly. 

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus. 

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person. 

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings. 

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again. 

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear. 

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived. 

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off. 

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands. 

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming. 

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train. 

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable. 

It was surreal. 

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time. 

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent. 

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck. 

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either. 

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications. 

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.” 

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Persephone’s Symphony Playlist

A list of songs that I have gathered that make me think of Persephone and Hades, not in order but will have the chapters they fit with beside them for an added listening experience if one so wishes <3

Find it on Spotify here

Persephone's Symphony Master List

none too deep | Atlas in Motion, Sofia Caterina — Night One | Hades

Nothing you can say will make me leave

I'm none too deep for you

Don't push me away, i wanna be here for you

And i won't push you too far to feel

Like you have to talk about the dark

_

Hey, Soul Sister | Jonah Baker — Day Two | Hades

Your sweet moonbeam

The smell of you in every single dream I dream

I knew when we collided

You're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

_

I Of The Storm | Of Monsters and Men — Night One | Persephone, Night Two | Hades

I am a stranger

I am an alien inside a structure

Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone?

With all my thoughts

And all my faults

_

Accidentally in Love | KiD RAiN — Day Three | Persephone

Come on, come on

We were once upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love

_

Falling | Harry Styles — Day Two | Persephone

What am I now? What am I now?

What if you're someone I just want around

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

_

The Scientist | Gabriella — Day One | Hades

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you

Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

_

If I Die Young | The Band Perry — Day Three | Hades

I've never known the lovin' of a man

But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand

There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever

Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life

Well, I've had just enough time

So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls

What I never did is done

_

Lose My Mind (Acoustic) | Dean Lewis — Day Two | Hades

Oh now you're looking at me,

And I'm looking at you like a fool

But you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you

No you don't know what it's like when you can't go back

_

Drops of Jupiter | stories, Olivia Kuper Harris — Night Three | Hades, Epilogue | Persephone

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?

Did you make it to the Milky Way

To see the lights all faded

And that heaven is overrated?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?

One without a permanent scar

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

_

Skinny Love | Birdy — Night One | Persephone, Day Three | Hades

Come on, skinny love, just last the year

Pour a little salt, we were never here

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

_

Afterglow | Ed Sheeran — Day Two | Persephone

Stop the clocks, it's amazing

You should see the way the light dances off your head

A million colours of hazel, golden and red

Saturday morning is fading

The sun's reflected by the coffee in your hand

My eyes are caught in your gaze all over again

_

save me from the monster in my head | Welshly Arms — Night One | Hades, Night Two | Persephone, Night Two | Hades

Would you find me when the lights go down?

And hold me steady when I'm freakin' out?

'Cause I need you here

You keep me safe

You keep me safe and sound

_

Home | Cavetown — Prologue | Hades, Day One | Hades, Night One | Hades, Day Two | Hades

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

His mind is in a different place

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space

Get a load of this train-wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open arms

_

I Should Probably Go To Bed | Dan + Shay — Night One | Persephone, Night Two | Persephone, Night Two | Hades, Day Three | Persephone

I should probably go to bed

I should probably turn off my phone

I should quit while I'm ahead

I should probably leave you alone

Now I'm all up in my head again

'Cause I know I don't

Have the self-control

To walk away if you walk in

_

Iris | Natalie Taylor — Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

_

Admit Defeat | Bastille — Day Two | Hades, Night Two | Hades, Day One | Persephone, Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

You stirred somethin' in me

I admit defeat

Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight, so

Wrap yourself 'round me

I admit defeat

Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight, but

You, oh, oh

_

All of Me | John Legend — Night One | Hades

How many times do I have to tell you?

Even when you're crying, you're beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I'm around

Through every mood

You're my downfall, you're my muse

My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

_

Angel With A Shotgun | The Cab — Day Three | Hades

hey say before you start a war

You better know what you're fighting for

Well, baby, you are all that I adore

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I’m an angel with a shotgun

Fighting 'til the war's won

I don't care if heaven won't take me back

I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Don't you know you're everything I have?

_

Work Song | Hozier — Day Three | Persephone, Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She'd give me toothaches just from kissin' me

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

_

High Tops | Del Water Gap — Night Three | Persephone, Night Three | Hades

Don't you know that you're the only queen

Of this one-horse town

You're the only one that meant a thing to me

You're still hanging around

Touch me like you know me

Baby when you're lonely

Kiss me on my open mouth

I'll throw you a rope

I'll keep pulling you out

_

I Love You, I Love You. It’s Disgusting. — Epilogue | Persephone

You rescued me when my mind was in a prison

You set me free when no one else would listen

Now I finally feel complete

And I will follow you into the sea of eternity

Collapse into my arms

I'll take care of your heart

_

4 AM | Olivver The Kid — Night One | Hades, Night Two | Persephone

At 4 o'clock in the morning

You said

How often do these nightmares come?

Who are the wolves in your head?

How often do these nightmares come now?

_

Machine | Scott Helman — Day Two | Hades, Night Two | Hades, Day Three | Persephone

But you're more than bolts.

Like the city's more than steel and stone.

Soon your heart is gonna overflow.

They push you back down, you get up again.

Circuits freeze and androids never dream.

You're more than a machine.

_

Holding out for a Hero | Elise Lieberth — Night One | Hades, Day Three | Hades

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And he's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

_

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hi Colour! How are you doing today? I don't know about doing meaningful things with my life, feel like I've just been surviving this entire time lol. However I am trying to figure it out and working on building the life I want to live and hopefully I will be able contribute to this world in some way.

I don't think I've ever played a game of trivial pursuit. Have never been to a pub either, not like the ones you have in the UK anyway. Just been to very dirty bars where me and my friends used to drink as much as we could afford, shared questionable food that could potentially make us sick the next day and there were no quizzes or games really haha. So your exp sounds way more fun! 😂

I'm glad you're giving the song a chance! Only Spotify knows how many times I've listened to it lol. I reckon Hozier's going to be my artist of the year for 2021. I love attributing works of art to Dani x Jamie, have a whole ass Pinterest board full with images of paintings, poetry, music and anything that I think relates to them really (yeah I know, I have a problem).

I love everything you've said about how Dani, Viola and the lady in the lake are alike, I hadn't really thought about their similarities before, but everything you've said makes perfect sense. I always saw Viola as a narcissist, even her drive to protect her child felt selfish in a way, don't know if you know what I mean. And when she fades away and becomes the lady she's just pure (almost animalistic) instinct while on auto pilot, bc she only remembers rage and abandonment, she takes anything on her path aggressively unless they're a child. So what she sees in Dani is not processed logically, right? It's pure instinct and emotions, so what she recognizes in her when Dani invites her in is the desperate need to protect this child, so she sees her as deserving. Perhaps she also saw in Dani and opportunity to escape this nightmare. Despite all her faults she didn't deserve what happened to her either.

And don't get me wrong, Jamie is so, so strong and solid and she is my favorite mostly bc I identify with her personality more than Dani's. But we know Jamie is all that even before we learn her story, and I feel like it is expected that she'll be the strong and brave one bc she's had to be that her entire life albeit unwillingly. But Dani? We expect her to break at any given point, I mean she is reaching her limit after all that's happened, with all the weight she's carrying. I remember thinking "Jesus, this girl needs help" when I first watched the show hahaha. But she fights every damn time, she doesn't run away and that's why I find her so fascinating. That's why I thought this song was so fitting. Even if Dani would never see herself that way. But it's Jamie's perspective (and fire signs tend to exaggerate everything 😂) so it feels fitting that she thinks so highly of her baby haha. Ugh I just wanted them to stay together forever. 🥺

Omg yes! I love how you refined this idea, good thing you're a writer and I'm not hahaha. And yeah I'm absolutely here for sapphics with weapons like holy shit imagine Jamie fighting with a sword? 🤤 I'm weak. Hahaha would be cool to see them in a pirate AU too! Maybe someone's already done it? Idk. But aaaah I want to see them in every possible universe hahaha. Makes me want to get back into drawing too. 😩

Aww you two sound like you have a lovely bond going on. Your niece sounds like the coolest! I started out drawing anime too when I was a kid and ended up doing graphic design for a living! How did learning how to draw anime style go for you today?

Hey I'm doing great thank you I hope you are too? I know that feeling because I feel like that's how I have made it to 27 just surviving (barely) and taking things one day at a time to get me to this point and hopefully I can contribute in some way even it its just a small way... so I totally get that feeling but I am sure you contribute so much without you even realising it!! Oh it's great but depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are it can get pretty heated... I've been in some heated games of it before because people just refuse to believe I know the answers to some of the questions and they think I've been cheating and have all but demanded I have another question asked instead of the one I got right... and pub quizzes can be fun again depending on the team you're in and how seriously you wanna take it I have been in teams where its been a serious thing and we have all desperately wanted to win and then I've been in teams and we've just had fun with it... all the pubs I go in are dirty bars too but sometimes they have pub quizzes... I have had many nights where I have drank what I can afford... one night me on my roommate went over board though and we ended up spending ALL our money even our taxi fair and we had to walk home in the dark along country roads with hardly any lights to guide us... because of how drunk we were it too us around 3-4 hours and I fell over a road sign and ended up in a ditch... I've had a lot of fun experiences but some really stupid ones as well... your experiences sound great though!! I would love that!! I listened to the song and I loved it so much!! I don't even wanna know what my most listened to artist will be this year... my money is on it being the Six musical soundtrack... probably All You Wanna Do from that musical I'll be surprised if it's anything else. I would love for it to be someone like Hozier, but ever since I have done my Spotify wrapped thing it's always been a musical of some kind that's been my number 1 song / artist haha I love doing the same thing. If I can make something fit Dani x Jamie I will like it doesn't even matter what it is haha... I don't think you have a problem I think that sounds so cool!! I have nothing like that. I just have a head full of random ideas screaming to be let out I agree Viola is definitely selfish and narcissistic and everything she did came from a place of anger and rage over the things that happened to her she fell in love and got married and had a child and saw her sister try and take that from her while she was ill and in the end her sister killed her. Like yeah, I do feel sorry for Perdita with the way she was treated but I do think everything Viola did was out of frustration over what was happening to her. Like you said she acts on auto pilot and only knows rage until it comes to children- because all she knows is she is looking for a child so when she saw Dani so selfless sacrifice herself for a child she saw a little bit of herself in Dani she knows Dani is a good person and she can relate to that protective streak and I think she did see Dani as deserving I definitely agree with everything you've said here. Viola might have had faults and flaws and who doesn't? But I definitely think she had it rough and did deserve better than she was given. I agree, you can tell looking at Jamie that she is strong and brave while Dani comes off as the exact opposite. But I think you see fully how brave they both are when Dani sacrifices herself for Flora and when Jamie offers to keep Dani company and loves her despite knowing she won't be able to love her forever. I love Jamie but definitely relate to Dani's personality more, there are a lot of things Dani does that I see myself in her because I have done those types of things myself and the whole beast in the jungle speech resonates with me so much and every time I watch the last episode and hear that speech I am a crying mess from that point on. It's funny that you thought that about Dani when you first watched it, because me and my sisters got my mum to

watch it and she said the same thing about Dani "she needs help" but then once told me she liked Dani because she reminded her of me that was an interesting conversation to be a part of "Dani needs help... but I like her she's like you." I was like "Thanks?" I agree this song is definitely more how Jamie would see Dani, I think Dani just has a very blasé view of herself, like I don't think she's self conscious or self deprecating in anyway but I think she sort of walks around like "this is me and this is just how I am" where as Jamie just sees Dani for how brave and strong and amazing she is- maybe even if as a fire sign she exaggerates a little bit haha Jamie just thinks Dani is the most amazing person in the world and I just know that Dani saw her the same way!! I really wanted them to be together forever... I am never going to emotionally recover from Bly Manor. Your idea was incredible and I think it would be a great story to read honestly that's the type of thing I live for!! OMG Jamie with a sword is just 🤤 🥵 I am all for sapphics and weapons of any kind!! There's this pirate AU which is absolutely amazing!! I don't know if you've read it or not but iamalekza writes some really great fics!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631598/chapters/70179306 ^^ Pirate AU I really wish I could draw I would love to be able to draw scenes from fics I have read and even ones I have written but I just don't have the skill set for that!! I would love to see other fan arts though I think drawing is such an incredible talent to have and I am in awe of anyone that can do it!! Me and my niece have a great bond, she's like a little mini me (despite almost being as tall as me). She is honestly such a cool kid I have a hell of a lot of fun with her- I'm looking after her again tomorrow and I have no idea what we're gonna do but we will figure something out... she's such a good drawer she's only just started doing it at the beginning of the year and she's really progressed with it... I however have not so I am definitely gonna need more practice. That's so cool that you started out doing anime drawing and then ended up going into a career in graphic design. Again that's a talent that I am just in awe of because it's just something I have never been able to do!!

[alwaysraineh]

Tagged by @tributeofasgard! Tysm this was so much fun!!! 🥰

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

Name: Rachel

Gender: Currently up for debate lol previously I would have said woman but now I think the most accurate descriptor is woman-adjacent???? Idk man I’m still very comfortable with she/her pronouns but I’m trying out she/they currently!!

Star sign: Libra

Height:  5’10” (which I think is 177 cm??)

Time: 9:16 as of starting to type this

Birthday: October 6

Favorite bands: The Amazing Devil, Marianas Trench, Queen, P!atD, MCR

Favorite solo artists: Hozier, Harry Styles, Jon Bellion, David Bowie, Elton John

Last movie: honestly I’m not sure. I think it might have been Tarzan??? Tho I am planning on watching something with Kristen Stewart this weekend and just haven’t decided what quite yet

Last show: technically it was Jeopardy but as that doesn’t have a plot to it I’ll also say I recently finished a re-watch of Derry Girls

When did I create this blog: aaahhahah I had to check but it was March(?) 2013. that’s eight years baybeee!!!

What I post: a lot of bullshit, mostly

Last thing I googled: lyrics for Work Song bc I forgot a line while singing to my cat last night

Other blogs: I have one from 3-4 ish years ago that I made for school bc I was studying abroad and we were required to have a travel blog and I discovered I’m bad at travel blogging

Do I get asks?: sometimes!!! mostly from jared and marie and jo tbh

Why I chose my url: uhhhhh y’know at this point I don’t remember all the details of the origin story but I do know it started on foopets when I was 10 or 11 and it became the root of all my urls across all platforms and now its been over a decade and rain is deeply entrenched in my identity

Following: 350 (far more than I thought but also somehow less?)

Followers: 365

Average hours of sleep: ahaha probably like 4 or maybe 5?? insomnia is not my friend

Instruments: once upon a time I played percussion in the high school band and I’ve been taught the basics of piano, but I don’t actually actively play anything

What I'm wearing: pj pants and a really old t-shirt!! the pants are fuzzy and have bears and moose on them and my mom got them for me

Dream job(s): author!!! (or wildlife photographer, sheep herder, bog witch, etc.)(but seriously, author. I want to create something worthy of publishing so so so so so badly)

Dream trip: I want to travel the entire world!!! But rn my top destinations are the cloud forest in Costa Rica, the Scottish highlands, the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, and to return to Peru!!

Favourite food: I suddenly forget everything I’ve ever eaten when asked this question

Nationality: don’t make me say it. please. (American)

Favourite song: My Spotify wrapped would have you believe it’s Like Real People Do by Hozier but it’s ACTUALLY ……… Shrike. by Hozier. because he owns my entire soul.

Last book: Last Night I Sang To The Monster by Benjamin Alire Saenz, and it made me cry multiple times and it hurt my heart but in a really good way and I absolutely recommend it but I also warn that it deals with some extremely heavy themes and is not the best to read if you’re not prepared for it

Top 3 fictional universes: like to live in?? or to write/create content about?? either way I have to say lotr bc, come on, it’s middle earth. also probably any universe that exists within mcelroy podcasts and idk if I’m allowed to say it but my owwnnnnnn universe lol I really enjoy the worldbuilding I’ve done for the setting of Oslasil

I don't have 20 people to tag but I'm gonna tag as many as I can think of!! And even if I don't tag you, feel free to do this and say I did tag you!! I crave interaction!!! 🥺

@catladymarie @scorcherman13 @khprisun @jofngve @thisgayneedscoffee @little-bi-kingtrashmouth @magicdecat @gingernastyy @spacegaylra @great--googlymoogly @aph-wisconsin @resident-of-remnant

[whatnotmemes]

---------------MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED 2019 PLAYLIST SENTENCE STARTERS change as needed. it's mostly hozier, nicole dollanganger, billie eilish, danny gonzalez, and pale waves. but primarily hozier lmao

“I wouldn't know where to start.” “Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way.” “I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted.” “No other version of me I would rather to be tonight.” “When you move, I'm moved.” “My baby’s sweet as can be. She gives me toothaches just from kissing me.” “I will not ask you- neither should you.” “I'd suffer Hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight.” “There's something wretched about this.” “Toying somewhere between love and abuse.” “All that I've been taught and every word I've got is foreign to me.” “You told me you'd always be by my side.” “I'm gonna run this nothing town.” “I’m no good, not even when I’m trying.” “It's a crime that she's not around most of the time.” “You might think it’s lame but your boy just changed the game.” “I can't ever see myself with somebody else, except you.” “The next time you hit, I hit back.” “Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me.” “I'm pretty sure I'm right, and every other single person on Earth is wrong.” “You are my strange addiction.” “I’ve done it again- I’ve done it again.” “In a few days I would be there, love.” “Lowkey I think that we're highkey goals.” “Your love feels so fake.” “I'm embarrassed to be saying this. I hate to admit things.” “I crave a real wild man.” “She was understandably put off by that.” “I’d be home with you.” “He don't care if he kills us both.” “Who’s got any time for growing up?” “Thought this night out at the club would be fun, but it's the worst.” “Won't you give me one last night with you?” “You want me to be yours. Well, then you gotta be mine.” “Be as you've always been.” “I don't have a car 'cause I fly on a broomstick.” “The world has no right to my heart.” “Once you get your mind made up, there is no getting through to you.” “With a face like that you could get away with anything.” “Sometimes I just feel invisible, like nobody can see me.” “Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now.” “It's not the war but what's behind it.” “No blood for you will ever be enough.” “No one ever had much nice to say. I think they never liked you anyway.” “I want you to miss me when I'm not around you.” “I'm in love with you. And I love, too, that love soon might end.” “They cut through the bone and left them without hands.” “We've no time for getting old.” “Death is gonna catch up to all one day but yours is coming quicker than ours.” “Nothing fucks with my baby.” “Can you hear the sound of hysteria?” “Hate to be the one that told you so.” “Can't you see that we're all hurting?” “I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave.” “I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me.” “Maybe things don't end the way we thought they always might.” “I would give you my body but I'm not sure that you want me.” “The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you.” “Somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me.” “Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.” “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun?” “You must accept that I'm a little out my mind.” “Tom Holland- number one Spiderman, hands down, bitch.” “You know what happens after dark.” “There's nothing wrong with me. This is how I'm supposed to be.” “Am I more than you bargained for yet?” “I know I've been acting like a dick.” “I could lie and say I like it like that.” “I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do.” “I always thought I would sink, so I never swam.” “Game's over for y'all when I get my license.” “Say anything. Anything hurts less than the quiet.” “Hope that you're good to me, baby.” “How I wish the world was different.” “People have high expectations of me.” “I’m not over you but I’m trying.” “You don't have to sing it nice, but honey sing it strong.” “Come check out my vape tricks.” “I don't wanna be alone on New Years Eve.” “Somebody new is gonna comfort you like you want me to.” “I keep catching little words but the meaning's thin.” “Pretend we're in one of those movies they rent in the back of every seedy place we pass on the interstate.” “If they could see me they'd be so proud.” “I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay.” “I finally felt like I could feel for the first time when I met you.” “I’m going to get married today.” “Let’s stop running from love.” “Even if you know that you don't own me, I'll let you play the role.” “When you come back, I bet you're gonna be pretty confused.” “The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.” “Mostly I'm fine. Most of the time I get by.” “I'm coughing- I'm bleeding.” “Why do girls like ‘em bad?” “Kiss me hard just like you did at the start.” “I need you to run to me.” “I don't need a xanny to feel better.” “I’m a little bit unholy. So what? So is everyone else.” “You're such a mess but you're always beautiful to me.” “I turned and ran to save a life I didn't have.” “You're faking all your pain. You're bleeding on a stage.”

[leoleofitz]

2020 in review

tagged by: @quincywillows 💗

rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag people!

top 5 films you watched in 2020:

Emma. (2020)

Pride (2014)

Enola Holmes (2020)

Miss Americana (2020)

Dance Academy: The Comeback (2017) (I was a big fan okay!! This movie gave me everything I wanted)

Honourable mentions: Tenet (2020), Six60 Til the Lights Go Out (2020)

top 5 tv shows in 2020:

Shameless (up to s6)

Roswell New Mexico (s2)

Julie and the Phantoms

The Queen's Gambit

The Musketeers (rewatched and finally finished)

Shout-out to 9-1-1 for being my lockdown binge watch and gettin me thru

top 10 songs of 2020:

3am - Halsey

Wish You Were Sober - Conan Gray

Party For One - Carly Rae Jepsen

Walls - Louis Tomlinson (Spotify Wrapped #1)

Rainbow - Kacey Musgraves

illicit affairs - Taylor Swift

Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift

Wildflower - 5 Seconds of Summer

Nice To Meet Ya - Niall Horan

The Bones - Maren Morris ft. Hozier

top 5 albums you listened to in 2020:

CALM - 5 Seconds of Summer

folklore - Taylor Swift

Walls - Louis Tomlinson

Manic - Halsey

Fine Line - Harry Styles

(evermore is gonna be on next year's list for sure)

top 5 books you read in 2020:

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson

The Girl Who Played With Fire - Stieg Larsson

Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo

Behind The Sun series - Deborah Challinor

Grey Mountain - John Grisham

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

well in a year of many crazy happenings and also not a lot...

completed half of my master’s degree

joined a French club

became a volunteer tutor for a civics education programme

tried learning Spanish

reconnected with some old friends, which was part of my 2020 resolution to keep in better contact with people!

yeah so... cheers to 2021! 

i tag... (No pressure 💗)

@bisexualalienblast @calebcovington @revolutionarykiwi and idk who else to tag!

[sonofhistory]

Could you recommend me some halemadge song or do you have a playlist thank thank !

I have a playlist on Spotify for my own use, but here are a bunch of songs I recommend you:

Amy Stroup | Just You 

Sun’s set // I’ve waited for you all day // I’ve waited for you all day // My love // So come quick // I’m ready for you always 

Radical Face | All Is Well 

And I have lost your face // And all the world is gray // As though you took the colors with you // When you went and passed away

Ed Sheeran | Photograph 

We made these memories for ourselves // Where our eyes are never closing // Hearts were never broken // Times forever frozen still

Christina Perri | Arms 

You put your arms around me // And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go // You put your arms around me and I’m home

Halsey | Sorry 

Sorry that I can’t believe // That anybody ever really // Starts to fall in love with me

Halsey | Heaven in Hiding 

Can you hear my heartbeat fucking kickin’? // Your eyes light up ‘cause you best believe that I got something up my sleeve

Mumford & Sons | After The Storm 

You must know life to see decay // But I won’t rot, I won’t rot // Not this mind and not this heart // I won’t rot

Sleeping At Last | Countdowns 

I’ll be starry eyed for you // I curse the heavens for pulling you away from me // At the same time // I pray that you’ll find everything you seek

Pink | What About Us 

We are problems that want to be solved // We are children that need to be loved // We were willin’, we came when you called

RAIGN (my favorite version) | Knocking on Heaven’s Door (NATHAN POV)

Mama, take this badge from me // I can’t use it anymore // It’s getting dark, too dark to see // Feels like I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door

Linkin Park | One More Light 

Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore? // We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep // There are things that we can have, but can’t keep

Lana Del Rey | Young and Beautiful 

Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? //  // Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful

John Legend | All of Me 

Love your curves and all your edges // All your perfect imperfections // Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you

Twenty One Pilots | Truce 

Stay alive, stay alive for me // You will die, but now your life is free // Take pride in what is sure to die

Lana Del Rey | Religion 

Cause you’re my religion, you’re how I’m living // When I’m down on my knees, you’re how I pray

Florence + The Machine | Cosmic Love 

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out // You left me in the dark // No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight // In the shadow of your heart

Florence + Machine | Wish That You Were Here 

Now I’m reaching out with every note I sing // Wraps itself around you and whispers in your ear // Tells you that I miss you & I wish that you were here

My Chemical Romance | Light Behind Your Eyes

If I could be with you, tonight // I would sing you to sleep // Never let them take // The light behind your eyes

AJR | Sober Up 

And I want to feel something again // Won’t you help me feel something again

Van William | Valentine 

I want a revolution // You want a short solution // We never could see eye to eye

Rhianna | Stay 

Something in the way you move // Makes me feel like I can’t live without you // It takes me all the way // I want you to stay

Marshmello ft. Khalid | Silence 

Yeah, I’d rather be a lover than a fighter // Cause all my life, I’ve been fighting // Never felt a feeling of comfort // All this time, I’ve been hiding

Avicii | Without You 

I’ve gotta learn how to love without you // I’ve gotta carry my cross without you // Stuck in the middle and I’m just about to // Figure it out without you

Philip Philips | Raging Fire 

You know time will give and time will take // All the memories made will wash away // Even though we’ve changed, I’m still here with you 

Halsey | Eyes Closed 

Now if I keep my eyes closed, he looks just like you // But he’ll never stay, they never do // Now if I keep my eyes closed, he feels just like you

Lana Del Rey | Love 

Doesn’t matter 'cause it’s enough // To be young and in love 

Sleeping With Sirens | Left Alone 

So tired of living in the past // So if we’re gonna make it last // We should leave it all behind

Lord Huron | The Night We Met 

Take me back to the night we met  // I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you // Oh, take me back to the night we met

Ben Cocks | So Cold 

It’s so quiet here and I feel so cold // This house no longer // Feels like home.

Ed Sheeran | Perfect 

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love // Not knowing what it was // I will not give you up this time

Van Joy | Fire and The Flood 

You’re the fire and the flood // And I’ll always feel you in my blood // Everything is fine // When your hand is resting next to mine 

Katy Perry | Unconditionally 

I’ll take your bad days with your good // Walk through the storm I would // I do it all because I love you, I love you

Death Cab for Cutie | I Will Follow You Into the Dark 

If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks // Then I’ll follow you into the dark

Bea Miller | Force of Nature 

I’ve tried to tie my heart down, board up all the windows // Oh but it’s too late now // I let you get too close

Panic At The Disco | Far Too Young to Die 

When the crown hangs heavy on either side // Give me one last kiss while we’re far too young to die // We’re far too young to die

Panic At The Disco | The End Of All Things 

Whether near or far // I am always yours // Any change in time // We are young again

Charlene Soraia (my favorite version | Wherever You Will Go 

Who will be there to take my place // When I’m gone you’ll need love // To light the shadows on your face

Pierce The Veil | Bulletproof Love

We used to laugh until we choked, into the wasted nights // It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone

Coldplay | Fix You 

And high up above or down below // When you’re too in love to let it go // But if you never try you’ll never know // Just what you’re worth

Coldplay | Sky Full of Stars 

Cause you’re a sky full of stars // I want to die in your arms  // Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark // I’m gonna give you my heart

Alesso | Heroes 

We could be heroes, me and you // We could be

Hozier | Take Me To Church 

The only heaven I’ll be sent to // Is when I’m alone with you // I was born sick, but I love it // Command me to be well

Ryan Star | Losing Your Memory

Tell them I’m never coming back // Cause this is the end // Pretend that you want it, don’t react

Sum 41 | Pieces 

I’d say all the words that I know // Just to see if it would show // That I’m trying to let you know // That I’m better off on my own

Amber Run | I Found 

Oh and I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be // Right in front of me // Talk some sense to me

Jason Walker | Alone 

I don’t wanna be an island // I just wanna feel alive and // Get to see your face again

Kodaline | All I Want 

Cause if I could see your face once more // I could die a happy man I’m sure // When you said your last goodbye // I died a little bit inside

Twenty One Pilots | Addict With a Pen 

Hello, I’ve been traveling in the desert of my mind // And I haven’t found a drop of life // I haven’t found a drop of you

Sia | Elastic Heart

Oh, why can I not conquer love? // And I might have thought that we were one // Wanted to fight this war without weapons 

FUN | We Are Young

We are young // So let’s set the world on fire // We can burn brighter // Than the sun // Tonight

Sum 41 | With Me

And pieces of memories fall to the ground // I know what I didn’t have, so I won’t let this go // Cause it’s true, I am nothing without you.

[spectral-cervid]

hey i saw your tag so only the odd ones

oh my GOD

is this just gonna be a..recurring theme now? ( fine

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?Spotify. Pandora isn’t in canada anymore and soundcloud is horriblewhat color are your eyes?A brownish color with bits of amber-ish near the centerwhat is your relationship status? Dating a jerd (jock-nerd) (cryptid but very real) (he’s the best tbh?)what color hair do you have?Naturally it’s a weird...brownish red? It used to be dark blonde but I dyed it too much, speaking of I’m bleaching it white at some point

where do you shop?store

favorite social media accountLinkedIn...sarcasm aside, probably tungl so long as I avoid the Disk Horse. Facebook keeps trying to reconnect me to the half of my family that I’m estranged and disowned from

any siblings?I have two sisters, I’m the youngest

favorite snapchat filter?the one that makes your mouth rly big because I like scaring my friends at 3 AM with a “whatcha doin?” and a wide-eyed grin

how many times a week do you shower?Whenever my hair’s too greasy + depression allows it tbh

shoe size?I actually have no fucking clue but I think I’m a.... 9 or a 10 in canadian size?

sandals or sneakers?Sneakers because I do too much fucking about to risk a sandal falling off while going about my day

describe your dream dateProbably equal parts thrill and chill? Ziplining followed by cuddling n watching the landscape, sort of thing.

what color socks are you wearing?I am not wearing socks. Or pants, actually.

do you have a job? what do you do?Currently still just an artist taking commissions when I can. I was nearly a delivery courier, but I have too many balance and general nervous system issues to safely drive a motorcycle in the dead of winter in a city of reckless and aggressive drivers.

whats the worst thing you have ever done?Define worst. Morally worst? Embarassingly worst? Stupidly worst? I picked up a deer skull once only to find that a nest of very angry harvester ants was living underneath it. That was bad. Very, very bad.

3 favorite boy namesUhhh can I get back to you on this one? I don’t think I’ve ever thought about this one much tbh

favorite actor?I really admire and respect the talent of the entire Stranger Things cast tbh

who is your celebrity crush?Don’t think I have one? do fictional ones count

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I read a lot when I find a good book or series, but it’s finding something that interests me that takes a while. I don’t think I really have one favourite?

do you have a nickname? what is it?Depending on if I’m using my first or middle name, it’s Lee or Jensi, both of which I don’t mind

top 10 favorite songsIn no particular order:- Lover, Lower Me Down! by Major Parkinson- sl0t by Mili (it’s been stuck in my head...all damn day)- This Is Transcendence by Ritual Howls - Golden Antlers - Glass Animals- Mykonos - Fleet Foxes- Honestly, the entire album “IV. - Wake” by American Murder Song- U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,A,B,Select,Start by Deftones- Arsonist’s Lullabye - Hozier- Earth - Sleeping At Last- For The Best - Gregory And The Hawkwhat is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)....like skin? I’m not sure it’s not really anything

how many kids do you want? If I had kids I’d rather adopt (never mind that I can’t, physically, have kids if I wanted) and I’m not sure how many I’d want. I’d much rather adopt older kids and teens, to be honest, if I did. For one, the idea of having to...raise someone from infancy, teach it everything, be responsible for all those crucially formative years...... That terrifies me. That absolutely terrifies me and I do not want someone’s life in my hands like that. But for second, I’d like to be able to give some older kids some stability. Especially at an age where they really need that stability and accepting base.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)Rented Duplex (two-floor house split into two units, I live in the lower unit.)

what was the last compliment you received?“I WANT TO HUG THEM AND TELL THEM EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY” - directed @ me about Vier. I consider that a compliment tbh

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?Already answered, 6ish I do believe

opinion on smoking?Don’t mind people that do, but it burns my lungs too much and sends me into the worst coughing fits without fail. No matter what’s being smoked. I require water if I plan on it.

what is your dream job? Already answered..? “I used to want to work on the trauma floor eventually, but I’m pretty sure my hands are screwed for dropping things so I’m going to settle for something else that I have a different sort of passion for- art and writing. I’d love to be on the creative team for a game developer some day, whether for concept art, writing, storyboarding, what have you. I’ve got a little ways to go but hey- I’ve got time.”

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?The only time I did, it was because they said “GAYLORD” on the labels and I’m a certified 12 year old

do you smile for pictures?Sssometimes?

have you ever peed in the woods? I’ve gone on week-long forest treks, they don’t build loos 10 miles out in bumfuck nowhere I’m afraid

I have fallen ass first over a short cliff trying to take a dump over the ledge.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?Wendy’s has nuggets?

what do you wear to bed?skin, blankets, enough raw power to kill anyone who walks in on sight

what are your hobbies?Also answered! I’m getting back into metalworking mostly because I’d like to make a knife Because I Can, aaand other than that? Beyond art & writing, I do competitive target archery (or did, can’t afford to get out to practice these days), am a semi-professional vocalist and used to do traveling theatre when I lived in British Columbia. I also code things, but I haven’t been in the right brainspace for a while.

do you play an instrument?Several! I can play guitar, bass, harp, piano, violin & sing with reasonable proficiency. I used to play trumpet too but I didn’t like it too much.

tea or coffee?Both

do you want to get married?I have mixed feelings

are you going to change your last name when you get married?It depends, to be honest. I like my name now (picked it myself, I did) and god damnit it’s going to be a pain in the ass to get it changed twice

do you miss anyone right now? A few people. Friends too far away to visit anymore, my sisters, my sleep schedule

do you believe in ghosts?Yyyyup.

last person you called?Got a call about a job offer that sounded sketchier than an unmarked van with “KANDY” painted up the side

regular oreos or golden oreos? What, pray tell, the fuck, are golden oreos

what shirt are you wearing? None. A blanket wrapped around my shoulders?

are you outgoing or shy?I can act outgoing but honestly I’m naturally pretty shy.

do you like your neighbors? The person in the duplex unit on top of us is a cool guy and puts up with way too much.

have you ever been high? Yyyuuup.

last thing you ate?Piece of toast with cinnamon sprinkled on it for taste

summer or winter? I prefer winter aesthetically but my health issues prefer summer so long as I avoid the sun

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk, or semi-dark

what is your zodiac signI’m a cusp between Leo and Virgo.