#hozier is fuelling me right now

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

‘be’ by hozier just scratches some itch in my brain like hhdhddhskxhejxhekdje yes play that crunchy guitar

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

~ honey, you're familiar, like my mirror years ago ~

kappa x reader

summary: after kappa and his cult had broken into your house, you began to lose your mind. you saw him even in your dreams. and that just doesn't sit right with you. the family knew about what happened - feeling as though the twisted romance was only just at the genesis.

warnings: swearing (like one word), not too much in this one tbh

You'd hoped you'd see him again. You knew he'd be thinking of you, wherever he was. His love and passion were so sincere that you just knew.

Everything seemed so... empty. He'd left his mark on the place, it's like everywhere you'd look had been touched by him. Explored and even ruined by him. The soothing voice of Stevie Nicks played in your empty home from your record player. You sipped your coffee as you hoped and prayed to a God you weren't even sure you believed in.

Though he was thinking about you. Nothing pained him more than having to leave you last night. He didn't sleep at all. He'd made love to you, watched you fall asleep and kept watching until he had to leave. He placed the note on your bedside table, giving one hesitant kiss on your forehead before leaving you to wake up alone.

The family had noticed, though most didn't speak on it.

"Why don't you pay me attention anymore?" Theta huffed to Kappa, sitting around the bonfire they'd set up in an excluded campsite.

"I've been distracted." he replied dryly, not even turning his attention away from the fire to look at her. "That's all."

He couldn't help but think of you, his mind lingering on the last kiss he'd given you. He wondered where you were, what you were doing, if you missed him. Kappa glanced over at Theta, smiling as he gauged her irritated expression. He almost laughed to himself at the sight but managed to keep his composure.

It was pathetic, really, how desperate she was. He'd never loved her, despite what delusion she believed. Kappa loved and respected all his followers, they were a 'family' but some of them really knew how to push his buttons sometimes.

Theta scoffed as he tried to hold back his laughter. The family could feel the tension, so thick you could cut it - they all knew where Kappa had been last night. Kappa thrived off the jealousy, a smirk nearly crossing his face. They could all have his attention, but not like he'd been giving his angel last night. That was all for you.

"Distracted by what?" Theta accused, "the pretty little angel you had crying for you?" Theta sneered annoyed, making the group go into shock and Kappa raise a brow at the audacity. Nobody ever questioned Kappa, ever. They all knew better. And now with you in the picture, they wouldn't dare. He'd flaunt and declare his love for you in a heartbeat - he was utterly obsessed with you.

"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Theta." he said, turning away from her eyes. "M' not yours, never was."

"What did you even do to her?" Theta asked, taking a swig of wine, knowing she wouldn't like the honest answer. The thought of Kappa being intimate with someone else made her stomach churn. Jealousy really didn't suit her. "Hm? She even make you feel good?" she asked with a mocking tone.

Kappa didn't answer her question, though it made him chuckle maliciously. He threw his head back with a laugh as the family remained silent. Kappa was terrifying when he was angry - and they really didn't want to see him lose his temper right now.

Theta knew what he'd done. She knew from the moment he ordered them to leave what was going to happen. The look on your face when you escorted them out sarcastically said everything - only fuelling her anger. Her jealousy. The family knew that Theta was speaking out of spite and impulse, knowing nobody would dream of addressing their leader like that.

They all knew it wasn't just some one night thing - he was obsessed. He'd fallen in love. A sick, flawed and possessive love.

"You loved me... I know you did. Everyone knows it."

Nobody in the family had the heart to tell Theta otherwise. That Kappa didn't care for her like that. They all saw the way he dismissed her flirtatious advances, how he'd rejected her multiple times over. That he was never hers and she'd never be the one that he wanted.

"Really?" Kappa replied, laughing once more as he looked over at her. "Is that what you thought? No wonder you've been so angry with me." he smiled at her, looking at her up and down. "I don't know what gave you that idea."

Theta shook her head in disbelief, firm in her beliefs. "You welcomed me into the family... you wanted me." she spat, not wanting to come to terms with reality. The reality that he wasn't hers to love.

"Yes, and you're a valued member, Theta," he said with a smile, "I've never said otherwise."

Sigma and Epsilon shared a whisper, watching both amused and scared. Neither had dared tell Theta that their leader never wanted her like she did him. It was such an unlikely possibility that they'd hoped Theta would discover it out on her own.

"She's not one of us... she wouldn't join if she had the choice." Theta huffed.

At this, Kappa chuckles lowly. He remembered how you practically begged him to join the family. How you wanted so desperately to be with him.

"And what if I want her here, Theta? Hm? What happens if I ask her to join our family?"

"Then I leave..." she spoke finally. The group, however, didn't take her threat seriously. She wouldn't leave - she couldn't. Once you joined the family, you never left.

"Fine by me." he replied nonchalantly, surprisingly calm. He looked back down at the fire before addressing Theta. "You'd be willing to leave? You'd sacrifice our family because I want her to join?"

Theta wasn't expecting that response. She'd assumed that Kappa wouldn't want to give any of the members up and so was disheartened that he'd let her go that easily. She shook her head, defeated.

"No... I wouldn't leave." she mumbled, picking at her nails.

"Good girl," he replied, his tone low and playful. "We wouldn't want you to leave."

Kappa kept his eyes fixated on the flames, ignoring the way she looked at him. "Is she really that intimidating to you, Theta." His words were mocking and the rest of the family had to contain their laughter. Kappa, when in a humorous mood, was very entertaining to watch.

Theta shrugged. "What is there to be intimidated by?"

"Huh... is that what you really believe? or are you just trying to convince yourself that she's not the one I want?"

Theta shook her head again, the reality just not kicking in for her. She wasn't convinced. He didn't know you - not really.

"She's not the one you want... you don't know her! And you wanna let her join the family?" Theta scoffed, "you don't know what the fuck you want... she doesn't belong here. She's not one of us."

"She will be..." Kappa replied dryly, not wanting to give Theta the satisfaction.

He loved knowing that you were everything the cult symbolised. He got off on it. On the envious stares that you brought. You were a free spirit - wild and carefree, young and full of life waiting to be lived. Kappa would have you in the cult, and he wasn't prepared to settle for anything less. He told the family to get excited, to get ready to welcome the newest member.

"Letting a stranger join the family?... it's reckless." Theta choked out.

"Oh, she's no stranger... I felt as though I've lived a thousand lives, waiting for her in each and every one... she's familiar."

Theta huffed out, rolling her eyes subtly.

"You haven't come to terms with reality, Theta... but don't worry, sugar, I'll teach her everything she needs to know."

[potaosoup]

Me, lounging on the couch, eating a piece of cake while listening to Hozier and reading a 400k slow-burn fanfic at 2:00 in the morning: Oscar Wilde would have approved.

[shealwaysreads]

Watching: A Drarry fanfic

For @tackytigerfic​ and her prompt: "Some like to imagine The dark caress of someone else, I guess any thrill will do" (Hozier, Someone New) 💕

drarry | 1265 words | redeemed draco (sort of), implied infidelity (not between drarry), post-war, EWE, auror!harry

Summary: 

Draco watches. He watches and waits, and he takes the opportunities that present themselves.

                                                         ---

Draco watched.

He had developed the habit in early childhood, an inevitable result of being the only offspring of parents who refused to let something so commonplace as a child inhibit their social affairs. He had grown to enjoy the attention bestowed on him at parties and dinners, but he was always ushered away when topics of conversation moved to politics, to tradition, to ‘the old guard’. So he would sit himself in a corner, out of sight and out of mind, and watch the adults as they wove their webs. 

During the war his watchfulness was what kept the wolf from the door. It allowed him to dance through the minefield of spying on the Dark Lord, kept him safe from ending in screams and the splatter of blood on his mother’s robes. After the war, it kept the knife from his back. It kept him on the right side of the law, just, and let him clear the shadows that lingered around him. Crimes witnessed and reported, each a feather on the scales weighed down by his own childhood witlessness. Draco wiped the tarnish from his name with the howling recriminations and snarling tears of every Death Eater he watched get dragged from the court into the waiting arms of Azkaban guards. 

Around him, the world spun on, and he watched. 

He sipped champagne, inferior but tolerable, and cast his eyes across the room. Tonight was the fifth Victory Ball, as the Ministry had so crudely named it. As far from the Hogwarts memorial service as it was possible to get. Bright decorations, cheap alcohol, and not an iota of respect or remembrance of all that was lost in the war. Just a crass excuse to court political power and the support of the wealthy witches and wizards who were always invited. Himself included.

It was a very different evening, compared to his attendance at the first Victory Ball. When he had arrived at the inaugural event, a ripple of shock and sick fascination had shot through the room. Whispers had curled in his wake, conflicting accounts, regurgitated Prophet think-pieces. He had stalked through the muttering, and the stares, with his head held high and steel in his spine. Alone, until Potter had stepped forward to shake his hand. And then, there was silence.

Five years on, the whispers still followed him, but the tone had changed. Now it was champagne-fuelled appreciation of the breath of his shoulders, the mystery of his philanthropy, the rumoured lovers. Even as he stood, leaning against the conjured greek-style columns, he heard the talk around him. But he wasn’t interested in the idle chatter of sycophantic social climbers. He was interested in what he saw. 

Across the room, Harry Potter stood in the middle of the crowd. Crimson-robed and stoic in the swirl of affected intimacy and painted smiles. He never had learned to hide his feelings. Every one of them flickered across that expressive face for all the world to see, if only they could bear to drag their eyes from his scar. Beside him stood Ginny Weasley, and even Draco could admit the appeal. Slim, strong, porcelain skin, and hair that tumbled like fire over one shoulder. But she, she was the one person in the whole room who wasn’t looking at Potter. Draco followed her line of sight and found Cormac McLaggen peacocking by the bar, eyeballing her right back, an unsubtle leer on his face. 

Draco took another sip, looked back at Potter over the rim of the cheap crystal flute, and caught the instant he realised what was happening. It took barely a moment, a flicker of green eyes from the woman at his side, to the bar, back again, a clenched jaw. Anger. An instinct for awareness, reading the field, recognising a threat. Draco almost smiled, he always had been impressed with Potter’s talent for seeing things, even as it infuriated him. But as he watched, Potter blinked slowly, his jaw softened. Straight shoulders slumped infinitesimally, and worse, a defeated twist sullied that full mouth. And still, beside him Ginny noticed nothing, kept her gaze trained to McLaggen. 

Draco watched. 

But he had never watched passively. Not when he had performed for the approval of his parents, not when he had memorised plans for the Order, not when he had kept abreast of every personal and political manoeuvre in rooms just like this.

And not now.

He had seen Potter attending parties without his previously devoted partner. Seen him with Weasley and Granger, Longbottom and Nott. Seen him looking around rooms, his eyes lingering on long legs, broad shoulders, stubbled jaws. But never anything more. Ginny Weasley broke the tableau, murmured something, left Potter’s side and waded through the crowds to lean against the bar. She passed three waiters with trays of drinks on her way. The expression that flickered across Potter’s face in her wake, shadow-fast, was that of a man cut.

Draco had never understood this sort of thing. When he decided he wanted something, someone, he was committed to keeping it. He didn’t share—never had—and when he was done, bored or dissatisfied, it was clear. He hadn’t hedged his bets since he was sixteen years old. As much as it would shock the world, he didn’t lie either. Not to a lover, and certainly not to himself. 

Perhaps it thrilled her, the thought of dark caresses from another man, a safe entertainment with the knowledge of Potter—loyal, faithful, upright—waiting for her. But as Draco glanced toward the bar, he saw McLaggen’s palm resting low on her back, intimately so. It was no idle fantasy then. 

How foolish. 

He pushed away from the column, and moved through the party towards Potter, depositing his half-finished glass on a passing tray as he slipped past ministers and ambassadors, society girls and aged lords, grasping hands and transparent agendas. And then he broke through the tide swirling around Potter, unsurprised by the expectant look on his face; Draco wasn’t the only one that watched. They were close, the press of the party around them narrowed the space, never jostling them, but drawing in to listen. 

Potter held his hand out, his face open, and Draco reached out to take it. Careful to savour the drag of palm against palm, careful to grasp firmly, careful to brush fingertips across the soft skin of Potter’s inner wrist. Careful to cast his eyes deliberately to the bar, and back again, watching for the spark of recognition in green eyes. Careful to hide his savage glee when he saw it.

“Potter, a pleasure.” 

The pulse under his fingers pounded strong and steady, faster as Potter used their clasped hands to pull him closer. An inch. A mile. His voice was a rumble when he replied.

“Draco, I saw you earlier.” He nodded towards the table where Draco had held court over dinner. “I wondered if you were avoiding me, usually we bump into each other earlier at these things.”

He squeezed Potter’s hand gently, before releasing it, stroking his fingers across his palm as he drew back from their overlong clasp. 

“Just waiting for the right moment Potter, as ever.”

Potter’s eyes dilated, his plush mouth parted just so, he swallowed and nodded. Understanding in every line of his body, relief, excitement. He looked just like he used to on the Quidditch pitch, when he had caught sight of the snitch and knew he was going to catch it. Draco smiled, breathing in the spice of Potter’s cologne, the scent of victory. 

Read it on Ao3

Thanks and love to @tedahfromtayla​ for beta-reading for me 💕

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Kira (15)

CHAPTER 15: NFWMB

Loki x fem!Reader (Kira)

Series: Will contain fluff, smut, bloodshed, violence, anxiety, tears and the cries of my wilted soul.

Chapter content: It’s the end. ....or is it?

Warnings: that’s it. That...is it.

Word count: There are very few times when once I have a story in mind I have found the perfect soundtrack to go with it. I didn’t think I could have ever found any lyrics close to what I wanted to protray in this chapter but damn! Hozier outdid himself!!

And I need to eat more vegetables somebody help me

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

Fenrir's chin rests on the edge of the bed on the footboard, still as a ghost in a silent moonless night. His eyes do not stir. His breaths are steady. His hind legs have settled with the decision of taking in the long shift while his front paws support the self-proclaimed weight on his shoulders of looking after your well-being as your comatose figure lies in your room over his favourite bed, surrounded by wires and pipes and beeping mechanic monsters this wolf does not understand, neither does he like them very much- because twice has his sharp ears caught your heart flutter and then both times heard those machine monsters beep at him like senseless maniacs till the strange men in white clothing have touched you (without your or his permission) to get the hysterical sounds to calm down but not stop.

It's better this way. He did not like having to worry about you from outside your room, looking in through the glass, trying to gnaw his way inside when he wasn't able to figure out if you are all right or not. He likes sitting by your feet, keeping an eye on your steady breaths, growling at unfamiliar footsteps- loud enough to make anyone from the help that isn't Ygritte stop and think if they should go against his wishes but not too loud to disturb you. He knows what he is doing. He has done it before. He will do it again if he has to.

He knows Loki sits right behind him on the teal coloured sofa, his face resting on his hands, his eyes frozen just like his wolf's, his body still like his son's. Both Heimdall and Ygritte cannot help but stare in invisible spectrums of wonderment at the father-son duo not leaving the side of the one thing they have attached themselves to in a matter of days, sitting there, watching every single breath you take, praying to- some entity that they believe would hear them- make you better, as soon as possible. Till then, they will do whatever is in their power to make you better. And often even our most seems nothing when someone we love more than ourselves suffers and we cannot take their pain even if we want to.

Ygritte brings in breakfast for Loki and Fenrir, requesting them both to have something. She smiles at them, kindly asking to have at least enough for their bodies to have the energy to sit there by your side. It's just some juice and milk that Loki and Fenrir agree to; that too only because they can feel their mental exhaustion depleting their will to sit there with eyes open. The liquid going inside them does the trick to bring that fleeting will back by its neck, satiating the worry in Ygritte' heart.

She herself carries bags under her eyes. Those sleep-deprived eyes have cried alone in the kitchen when she saw Heimdall bringing in your bloodied figure. The sight of you- the most prominent splash of innocence she has seen after a very long time- half-dead and unrecognisable under all that blood and open wounds, your arm dangling lifelessly whilst the Watcher carried you to your room (as doctors and nurses followed the procedures they were supposed to in such situations) almost made her heart break into two, violently. The image of your clothes ripped, your nails broken and your face bruised heavily just does not leave her mind till she finally breaks down in the one place she finds comfort.

She had made sure the sniffles were silent; that only hot tears flowed freely and lightened up her grieving heart. She had been really cautious and yet Loki found her- when he'd been forced out by the doctors in charge. She'd tried her best to compose herself but those forsaken tears just would not stop, making Loki slowly soothe her till he was hugging her to comfort her shaking form. "She'll be fine," he’d whispered, more for himself than for her, letting his words become an affirmation in the heavy air around them. "She'll be fine."

She'll be fine.

The silence surrounding your room is unlawfully eerie, like the shadowy emptiness that rises like heavy smoke during a funeral. And neither of the people present in the room want to feel anything close to a funeral.

The vibration of Loki's phone breaks the horrid silence, that grim expression on his face turning into a splash of surprise before he picks up the call and presses the device to his ear.

"Robert?"

The name brings around the attention of all the ears present in the room save for yourself. Heimdall, Ygritte and Zair- your assistant who had been taking care of everything for you at the office front- shift their weight on hearing Robert's name.

"Is she okay?"

Loki nearly feels his heart being squeezed by a concoction of emotions for this man, taking him back to the day when he first found him. Or rather, he found Loki. This son of a bitch is not going to die that soon.

"She's...out of danger. The doctor said she has two broken ribs, a broken arm, internal bleeding and concussion. No signs of...no signs of any sexual assault. Ahem..."

"Loki..."

Loki closes his eyes at that familiar tone. Robert knows. He knows. But he cannot think about it. Right now there is no place for rational thought inside him.

"The doctor here says I cannot move from the bed for about another day."

"...Robert."

"So, I won't be able to hold my promise to you right now."

.

"Remember that time when we had to take our men over to Vanaheim in the summer to prepare for Odin's arrival to bless the wedding of Thor's cousin?"

Heimdall looks over at Loki from where he sits. His eyes dart to some invisible void behind Loki for a few seconds till the strain in his brows is relieved. "During the time his grace was supposed to present the infamous sword to the couple as a wedding gift?"

Loki barely stops himself from rolling his eyes but the feeling isn't lost on Heimdall. "My error," the Watcher confesses, "your sword."

"Thank you," Loki stresses with just a hint of sarcasm.

"You swapped the sword for a stuffed adder, clearly giving the bride and groom something to reminisce about for the rest of their lives."

Loki presses his lips, trying to suppress the smile that is rising up at the crystal clear memory. "I never liked Fruth. But I never realised my plan would have exposed his ill intentions with a devastating flight response."

Heimdall chuckles lightly. "Yeah. Even though I was supposed to be standing by your father's side I was impressed by your out of the box strategies. And your will to smash his face when he spoke ill of your mother."

Loki smiles, his eyes turning to look at you, the bruise on the side of your face hurting his chest every time he sees it. "Would have been nice to know that when I needed to hear it," he mutters, bringing his eyes back to Heimdall before looking down at the ground.

Heimdall does not know how to respond to that. He wants to speak well for him but no words come out for his heart too knows where it lay all those times. All the times Loki's mischief had been a cause for trouble both inside and outside the home, Heimdall was by Thor's side, mute at the words that got harsher with time for his sibling. Even when his unusual ways had brought success in times of trouble against the crown, there had been no sentences of appreciation. Just a look of abrogation at any method Loki used.

"You made me give you my word at the end of that day."

Loki's words bring Heimdall out of the sour memories. "You made me promise to never use my strength against another person. Even though they spoke poison about the people I used to care about."

Heimdall's brows are trying to adjust to this old promise being taken out of the dusty chest of forgotten memories and placed in front of him to analyse. He can feel a foreign emotion emanating from Loki where he sits in that teal sofa, still as a rock.

"I remember vividly," Heimdall responds, waiting to see where Loki was taking him on this ride.

"I want you to take back your word, Heimdall."

There is a tilt in the gravity present in the room once the words have been spoken. Fenrir shifts where he sits, turning to look around at Loki. Heimdall too is watching him intently. Both of them can feel something really dark exuding from inside the man, burning and crackling inside those green eyes laden with a sinful weight. Something ominous brews inside him, fuelling a boundless rage, so intense that Fenrir feels a need to shuffle where he sits, not looking at his father in the eye. Heimdall too feels the need to question this darkness but is made to stop short when those green eyes land their dark gaze upon him.

"I need you to take them back."

.

A farm rests on the outskirts of the city with a mansion mostly made of glass sitting in the middle of the land that has recently been made barren after the clearing of harvest from the fields all around. The path leading from the road to the gigantic house is lined up with black SUVs in a perfect caterpillar-like way to have them in and out in one smooth trail. Armed men dressed in black camo stand guard at the entrance of the gate, down the path to the door and inside the hall. The hall that welcomes its visitors has a skylight to let uninterrupted October sun warm up the white walls and white furniture all around. By the end of the hall where a spotless glass wall stands between the house and the little rocky hill it stands upon, Billy stands to look at the horizon of the city that is fogged up by its own relentless will to make money at the cost of everything else. He feels proud at the fact that the all-white suit he wears reflects more sun than that tallest building- which belongs to Sun Corp- he can see.

"So much for an empire to watch it crumble within seconds."

The smile on his lips just doesn't feel like fading away any time soon.

"You lookin' at this?" He gestures the guard standing closest to him, "those tallest buildings over there? They belong to the business that runs this country. Soon I will be running that place. And then this country."

He cannot help but chuckle at the thought of it.

Sun Corp. Anvil Corp.

If only that son of a bitch who mocked me could see me now, he thinks to himself. Loki never had a chance. The ones with humans as their weakness never do.

A shuffle at the main door perks his ears, denting his jovial mood a bit. There seems to be some petty commotion outside that has had the audacity to reach him all the way.

"What is going on?" He asks the guard standing next to him.

"I don't know, sir."

Billy looks at him with the will to smack his face into this very glass in front of him.

"Then go out there and look you cunt!"

The guard scuttles away scared, leaving Billy to contemplate how many more idiots like him did he have in his company.

A few seconds pass by whilst Billy revels in the concrete beauty in front of him before he feels a sudden change in the air, raising the hairs on his back with a subtle chill.

He turns around to watch Loki standing ten feet apart near a sofa, watching Billy with an unreadable gaze.

Billy cannot bring to admit to himself that he feels tiny specks of jolts go down his spine on watching Loki standing here after all of this. But then again, for what he's done to the man, it is all the more reason for him to be here looking for answers perhaps.

"Loki," Billy announces, his hands in his pant pockets still, his figure stoic as ever, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

The smirk growing on Loki's face sends such dangerously mixed signals. What is going on in this man's mind? Billy is internally frustrated within seconds of not being able to read him.

"It should be me asking you that, Mr Russo," Loki answers, running the hand that doesn't rest in his pocket over the expensive white fabric of that sofa that reflects the sun from a particular angle. "To what do I owe the pleasure of having you in my city?"

"Your city!" Billy cocks a brow at him before taking a step down the one stair and coming to the nearest sofa. "How awfully cheeky of you! I'm here on business."

"Oh," Loki's raised brows show genuine surprise before coming and sitting down on the sofa he has been observing, "I thought that was concluded last night."

Billy licks his lips at the surprising turn of events, a broad smile erupting at the thought of never having anyone be this blatantly forward with him. "Oh no, that was just the...uh...what do you call it...the linchpin needed to start with the overtake. Wasn't easy, I must admit."

Loki lets the luxurious armrest and back give him some relief, much against Billy's wishes. "What wasn't easy? Finding out that not everyone is moved by your charms?"

"Wasn't easy to hold down Kira. She is one hell of a biter."

Billy cannot help himself. He wants to see where this goes. He is loving every single moment of this. "Gave me quite the bruises, that little whore."

Loki sits there, not giving away anything to Billy, which entices the latter to reach further. "You should've seen how quickly she got wet on my fingers, Loki. Before either of us could tell, she was crying ou-"

"Five minutes."

Billy tilts his head and narrows his eyes. "Sorry?"

"Five minutes," Loki repeats, "I'll give you five and no more to leave the city, get on your jet and outside this continent. That is what I am offering you to walk away from all of this right now. One time offer. You won't be getting it again."

Laughter breaks out of Billy to echo through the naked walls around him. "Right. And what happens if I don't? Do I get dragged to hell? Does someone shoot me from outside the window? Or do you take me by my collar and try to threaten the shit outta me?"

Not a single nerve in Loki budges- not even when he looks down at his wristwatch- and the laughter dies down just as it came.

Billy feels an itch on his neck. "Will you kill me, Loki?"

Loki's smaragdines rise to face his dark ones. "I will hurt you enough that you'd wish you were dead, William. I promise you that."

The softness in his voice carries a soothing touch that hides the threat as an aftertaste, leaving undesirable convulsions in Billy's stomach, forcing him to stand and tower over Loki.

"What makes you think you can touch me and walk away, Odinson? I run a fucking army for business."

"And where is that army now?"

Billy feels the confusion hit his head for a split second before he notices not a single soul around them. The silence both inside and around the house is deafening, to say the least.

"You may run an army, Billy," Loki mentions as soothingly as the threat he just gave, getting up and removing his suit jacket, "but you clearly do not know what the army longs for the most apart from a little bit of money."

Billy is still trying to figure out where everyone went.

"Home and dignity," Loki continues, smoothing out the creases on his jacket before planting it on the headrest of the sofa. "Speaking of which, I have to say your mother is a darling."

Something inside Billy cracks and he whips his head towards Loki, the rage that was initially hidden now a full-blown volcano in his eyes.

"I'd suggest you stop right there-"

"Oh shush, little William," Loki cuts him short, removing his watch and throwing it on the sofa, "your five minutes are over."

The tie is loosened next and thrown next to the watch.

"It's time for you to pay for making the mistake of thinking you'd get away with this. Even your mother is looking forward to this, I can assure you."

Billy hisses, his eyes throwing daggers at Loki before his fingers are curling into a fist to find that jaw and smash it into pieces. "You son of a-"

The fist stops midway right where Loki's hand wants it to, bringing a halt to that blind rage for enough moment to make Billy realise the strength he never thought Loki could possibly have.

"You had your chance," Loki whispers close to his face, "you missed it."

.

Heimdall knows Loki has had something to do with the silence in this location but he still cannot make out the how what and when of the situation; something that keeps bugging him even when his car stops in the driveway right at the footsteps of the doorway into the house.

Take care of him.

  Take care of him.

That's the last thing he has said and then let silence reign over him all the way to The Hidden Gram. His arms hurt but the turn is made without so much as a squeak as the car comes to a halt at the door in the driveway. This time, instead of Fenrir, Loki sees Robert with an arm in a sling and a worried smile standing by the doorway.

  The crunch under his shoes brings Heimdall's attention to the fact that he has actually walked in through a broken window that has been shattered to such an extent that the glass pieces have gone all the way to the back. Every step he takes away from the entrance towards the house, some invisible and some glittering pieces crunch under his shoes making him curse out loud till he starts seeing them creating a trail on the white floor with smears of red.

 Loki turns off the engine and gets out of a vehicle with a limp. Robert cannot help but raise his brows in light surprise at the blood and bruises that mark Loki's clothes and any exposed body part, while Loki cannot help but be amused to watch that man in a white shirt and khaki trousers, nothing like the man he is used to seeing.

"You were supposed to be in the hospital," Loki states with a hint of betrayal and disgust, trying to keep the pain as much hidden as possible.

"You were supposed to wait for me," Robert spews back.

"Wait for you to attack that scum with your sling?"

"Shut up. You look like a battered mess."

"I'm better than your puny ass," Loki nearly spits the words before rolling his eyes and deciding to walk inside only to smile when Robert cannot see him.

Robert does the same.

  The blood trail goes all the way to the other hall next to this one, with it a scene of pure chaos on the way- sofas turned upside down, wall hanging lying broken on the floor, vases smashed, their remnants being puddles with flowers and scattered pieces, lamps thrown across the room, wooden and paper partitions smashed to the point of no return. The trail goes till the three steps at the end of this hall where Heimdall can a figure writhing in pain trying to crawl up the steps.

 The pain in his leg comes back every time he puts pressure on it. But Loki ignores it, having more important things on his mind than one fractured bone. In the back of his mind, he knows there is more than one, but that can be dealt with later.

Ygritte watches Loki limp his way to his room, letting a little gasp escape her lips on seeing the drops of blood he leaves behind, running away to get medical supplies and call the doctor, all before she gets her mop out to bring the floors back to their original beauty.

  Heimdall is careful when he starts walking towards the figure, who can clearly hear the footsteps behind him to stop the agonising efforts of crawling up the steps and turn around to face the Watcher.

It should not be a shock to Heimdall to see this sight after all that went down but he admits he never thought Frigga's raven-haired boy had it in him to sabotage the face of his enemy beyond recognition. He cannot even recognise the man lying in front of him, blood being the only distinct feature over that face. Heimdall nearly starts feeling guilty for having thought Loki might not make it out alive.

"Just kill me already."

A tired sigh leaves Heimdall and he comes down to sit beside Billy's figure, still seemingly towering over him. "I'm not here to kill you, Billy Russo. I'm here to take care of you."

 The blood is washed thoroughly by the hot water and the strain in aching muscles is relieved. Loki is careful with the cut on his lips but that doesn't stop him from desensitising all the wounds before drying himself and taking out a white cotton shirt and white trousers lying in the back of his closet. After much hisses and groans, while putting the clothes on, he is satisfied with the outcome in the mirror in front of him. With a lungful of breath, he walks out.

  "You have no idea what's coming for him. For all of you."

"For someone broken and near death you sure talk a lot."

"I'm gonna kill him for this."

Heimdall cannot help but rub his palms on his face.

"You have no idea, do you?"

Billy is far from being sane in this hell that Loki has left him in to know what Heimdall is referring to.

"The man who did this to you was not known for his physical prowess, Russo. He was more of a black sheep of the family. I don't know what happened in all those years he had disappeared but something clearly changed in him. I'm guessing you had the same thought too when you went after the one thing he had started to care about after a really long time. The only thing you didn't expect was him tearing you down while destroying your own empire at the same time."

Billy's eyes go wide, not knowing what to think through the humming ache. Heimdall bends down a little towards him, making him jolt a little.

"Anvil Corp is in pieces, William Russo. Your assets have been liquidated and your name no longer carries the dignity it once did. All because you wanted power. All of this...because you chose the worst path you could. You just opened a can of worms that none of us was ready for, Billy. And now the world knows that Loki is not someone to be messed with."

Billy can feel the rage poisoning his blood, increasing the pain tenfold.

Heimdall gets up and smoothens his jacket, looking down at the excuse of a man with no ounce of sympathy.

"And neither is Kira."

 One hand resting on the door frame of the room, Loki has to take deep breaths before he can prepare himself to enter your room again. And still, the sight of you creates ripples in his chest that send the ache thumping wherever he feels hurt.

Fenrir watches Loki stand by the door, taking your visage in. That wolf has not budged from where Loki left him, neither has he touched any morsel left in his bowl.

The side of your bed on which you lay now has a recliner placed next to it, making Loki switch his gaze from the recliner to you and then back before limping his way to it, settling down in it while stifling his groans and crack of bones.

Once settled, he takes an easy breath and closes his eyes, letting his ears find the rhythm of your breaths under that respiratory mask. It takes him a while but he finds the cadence and soon enough is syncing himself to you.

A few moments more pass and Fenrir can see both you and Loki in a slumber-like trance. The wolf, which had been using your bed as his chin rest, suddenly raises his head when he sees Loki's hand move. The pale fingers- bruised red and green- travel over the bedsheet to find your hand, grazing those long fingers against yours before finding the strength in themselves to go around the wrist and find your palm to be embraced by his.

Fenrir smells the change in Loki's scent the moment he does this, like a dark stench giving way to something light and sweet.

He lays there for a few moments like this. His heart at peace. His mind at peace. He knows you are there next to him. He can feel you in his hand. That's it. That's all he wants right now. You. safe. That's all he wishes.

And he doesn't realise the gravity of the universe that is you when he feels your fingers curling back into his and pulling him closer to you till his eyes are getting blurry and washing away the fear of losing you.

...

End of Volume One

[modern-victoria]

But I’m Here Now

A Quakerider Fic Playlist

Listen on Spotify

angst, implied sexual content, fluff, alcohol, blood

Anchor ~ by Novo Amor

And I hear your ship is comin' in Your tears a sea for me to swim And I hear a storm is comin' in My dear, is it all we've ever been?

The room was dark except for the few rays of street-light streaming through the curtains. Daisy was seated on the worn couch, clutching her shoulder with her opposite hand. Blood was leaking through her fingertips. After waiting a few moments longer, she heard Robbie entering the living room and Daisy turned her head towards him. She saw him carrying bandages and boxes of painkillers. He had also a bottle of whisky gripped in his right hand. He kneeled in front of her and put his hand on the one she was keeping on her shoulder. Carefully, he lifted her hand off the wound and stared at it for a few seconds. She nodded, telling him to continue, even if he hadn’t even voiced the question out loud. He poured a bit of alcohol on the wound and she winced in pain. He looked at her, terrified of hurting her too much, but she smiled, silently telling him it was okay. He continued cleaning the wound and then put a bandage over it. When he was done, he didn’t immediately stand up, but let his hand linger on her knee. They both savoured this quiet moment in the middle of the chaos. He glanced one last time at her injured shoulder. She’ll survive. They both will. 

Another Love ~ by Tom Odell

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright I'm just so tired to share my nights I wanna cry and I wanna love But all my tears have been used up On another love, another love

When Daisy loves, she loves with her whole heart.  So when Lincoln died, Daisy lost her heart. But then Daisy met Robbie and she thought she found her heart again. It was difficult, her soft edges and kind features had been replaced with a dark appearance, but as much as she missed Lincoln terribly, she started to fall in love with Robbie. He understood her grief and sadness, and she loved him all the more for that.

And The Boys ~ by Angus & Julia Stone

All the cracks in the walls reminds you of things we said And I could tell you that I won't hurt you this time But it's just safer to keep you in this heart of mine

Darkness surrounded her, that much Robbie could see. But every time she came to him, or he found her, he noticed that on the inside, she hid a light. Her heart was big and kind. He saw it when she was crying for her friends still in the framework. He saw it when she took care of his brother while he was away. Robbie understood why she had hidden it so well. She had been hurt too many times, and he recognised himself in her. He thought of all the things he could say at the moment, but chose: “But I’m here now, and that’s good.” She smiled kindly and he knew she was his light in that moment.

Bloodsport ~ by Raleigh Ritchie

I've got your back, and though it's stacked against us, I've got your hand, it's us against consensus, And I will burn The people who hurt you the worst and I will not learn 'Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms Of breaking the law and I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And they're done now

She never really told him about Ward, or about Myles, or about all the other people who hurt her. While being Ghost Rider, he had seen a few flashes of her past and all the things she regretted. He had seen how all those people had betrayed her and it fuelled him with rage. Simmons had explained to him what had happened with Ward as to warn him not to do the same, or she would promise him the same thing she had promised Ward. Simmons would kill him. Robbie assured her that he’d never hurt Daisy, but if someone would, he’d be the first to end them. “Good,” Simmons answered.

Deliverance ~ by RY X

I’ve been awake for deliverance Deliverance deliver me

It was hard for him, even if they were guilty of awful crimes, every time the Rider took a life, Robbie felt the chains he carried around pulling him down. The Spirit of Vengeance imprisoned him and Robbie thought he’d be forever chained by him. In walks Daisy Johnson. Although she was dressed completely in black, contrary to the angels he’d always heard about, he was sure she was here to free him. Because every time she looked at him, he fell harder in love and felt the chains become weightless. She made him feel human again.

Come A Little Bit Closer ~ by Jay & The Americans

And I knew, yes I knew I should leave When I heard her say, yeah Come a little bit closer You're my kind of man So big and so strong Come a little bit closer I'm all alone And the night is so long

It was an evening after a successful mission. The whole team was together in a loud and musky bar. They deserved it. Robbie sat alone at a table, watching the team all huddled together at the bar. His eyes scanned out of habit the team for Daisy, but he couldn’t find her. The music filled his ears and the smell of beer loaded his nose, and he hadn’t noticed Daisy coming his way until she was right next to him. “Will you be brooding the whole evening?” She said, lifting her beer bottle to her lips and sipping it. “No.” He could see the moment an idea entered her mind and suddenly he was afraid of her next words. “Come on, let’s dance. We deserve some fun.” “I don’t think this is the kind of place to dance.” His eyes roved across the patrons, almost all middle-aged men drinking their sorrows away. “Come on.” She took his hand and sparks of electricity shot up through his palm. She led him to a small space in the middle of the bar and pressed herself close to him. His whole body was, this time figuratively, on fire. She laughed at his perplexed expression. He knew he should leave, right now. But her laugh and her smile and her proximity pulled him closer every second and they danced until their feet could carry them no more.

Sick Of Losing Soulmates ~ by Dodie

Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

After Lincoln, Daisy thought she’d never find someone like him again. And she was right, Robbie was completely different. But so like her. They both pushed away the ones they loved, because they were scared to lose them. Daisy was sick of losing the ones close to her, from Tripp to her parents to Lincoln. But Robbie couldn’t get hurt. She wouldn’t- couldn’t lose him.

Drive ~ by Halsey

All we do is drive All we do is think about the feelings that we hide All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign Sick and full of pride All we do is drive

She was seated next to him in his Charger. She was staring out the window, mindless of his inner turmoil, and her feet were propped up onto the dashboard. He used to reprimand her for it, but she kept doing it and at a certain moment he didn’t care any more. He glanced occasionally towards her, alternating his gaze from the open road to her soft features. His eyes dropped to her lips, dry and chapped from the fight they just won. A memory crossed his mind: ‘You never give rides,’ his brother had said. And here he was, driving at night with a girl he hadn’t even known two months ago. He cared about her, maybe even more. But he kept his mouth shut and stared at the asphalt in front of him.

Electric Love ~ by Borns

And every night my mind is running around her Thunder's getting louder and louder

It wasn’t love at first sight. The first time he met her, he even tried to kill her, and yet she still came back the next day, a fresh bruise on her cheek and threatening to spill his secret. He tried to make it clear to her that he worked alone, but she still followed him, even if he had tied her to a chair. She left him alone afterwards, but it was too late, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Every time his eyes fell on her, her presence in his thoughts and dreams grew stronger, until she was all he could think about. He went to her, letting her, a stranger, in his car, something he’d never done. When she touched him for the first time, as brief as it was, a spark of electricity shot through his whole body and he knew he started to fall in love with her. Oh what he would have done to feel that touch again.

Work Song ~ by Hozier

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

Hell was cold and dark. “That sounds terrible and painful and lonely.” Her words still rang in his ears as he trudged through the desolate landscape of this hell dimension, searching for a place to safely stash this book that brought so much misery onto her. He remembered her tear-stained cheeks as she thought that Mack wouldn’t come back. His fingers ached to wipe away her tears and his arms were begging for him to take her in his arms. He had stood perfectly still. His mind wandered over to the memory of her face before he went through the portal. She had felt left behind again. But she was wrong. No world or dimension or even universe could keep him from her. He’d return, like he had promised her silently before stepping through the portal.

Is There Somewhere ~ by Halsey

I'm sorry, but I fell in love tonight. I didn't mean to fall in love tonight. You're looking like you fell in love tonight.

Inexplicably, they fell in love.

Looking Too Closely ~ by Fink

Put your arms around somebody else And don’t punish yourself, punish yourself The truth is like blood underneath your fingernails You don’t wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself By looking too closely

Daisy hated herself. She had loved Lincoln, and he had died for her. Now she was in the arms of someone else. She didn’t dare to say she loved him, for fear of losing him too. And every time her thoughts went to Robbie, instead of Lincoln, she felt bad. Yet slowly, Lincoln entered her mind less often, thoughts of Robbie filling the empty spaces. She had loved Lincoln, with all her heart. When he died, she thought her heart had died with him, but maybe she was wrong. Every time she thought that, she hated herself more, because if that was true, Lincoln had died for nothing.

Nightcall ~ by Kavinsky

There's something inside you It's hard to explain They're talking about you boy But you're still the same

When she had heard about the Ghost Rider, she had picked up horrible things. He burned his victims alive, running them over with his black charger. When she had met the Ghost Rider, she wasn’t sure all those rumours were true. He killed people, but they were guilty. She wasn’t in the right place to judge, she had killed countless of watchdogs, crushing their bones to the ground. When she had met Robbie Reyes, she knew there was more to him than only darkness and death. She had seen him with his brother, happy and laughing. She had seen him with her, smiling softly and reassuring her. Now, every time someone told her the Ghost Rider was evil, she couldn’t stop thinking about Robbie and started defending him. They didn’t know Robbie like she did.

Do I Wanna Know? ~ by Arctic Monkeys

(Do I wanna know?) If this feeling flows both ways? (Sad to see you go) Was sort of hoping that you'd stay (Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day Crawling back to you

Robbie laid on his bed. The sheets were crumpled from the night before and the smell of her shampoo was already slowly fading out of his pillows. He knew they weren’t meant for each other, not now, not while they both had their own demons to fight. But maybe in another life, without watchdogs and other dimensions, they would’ve been able to confess their mutual attraction. Still, he loved her, and every time she would come knocking on his door, looking for a way to spend the night, he would let her in, hoping each morning she would stay.

Particles ~ by Nanna Bryndis Hilmarsdottir and Olafur Arnalds

But these heavy hands They’re pulling me down on my chest Latching on, coloring all of my flesh Quietly, you hover over me And I fight but it feels like wasted time Feels like wasted time

Daisy mustered all her remaining strength to keep the metal shelf from falling onto her. She could fell the weight of her powers pulling her down, bruising her bones and colouring her flesh into a deep purple. He hovered over her, trying to decide if she was worthy of living, like she imagined him doing countless of other times. Daisy had tried to do the right thing and stop him, but slowly she accepted her fate. “Do it. I deserve it.” She told the Rider. She closed her eyes, ready for the flames that never came.

Promise ~ by Ben Howard

And maybe, just maybe I'll come home

Robbie could see the terror in her eyes as she asked him if he was leaving. He wanted to tell her ‘no’, but alas, the Rider was much more stronger than him. He made her a promise instead, unlike all the other people she was hurt by. He’d return to her. He’d come home.

Sweat ~ by RY X

You're making me sweat sweat sweat my love down deep into your bones You're making me sweat sweat sweat my heart down deep into your soul

The hot air caused Daisy’s skin to stick to his as they were pressed against each other in the back of his charger. Robbie trailed a line of kisses from her jaw to her stomach, making her moan every time he pressed his lips to her damp skin. Daisy fiddled with the buckle of his belt, pulling him closer to her. He moved his mouth to hers as she ran his fingers through his short hair. Their kisses became more ardent, each hungry for the other. In the darkness of the night, their bodies melted away as they pressed closer together.

Sorry ~ by Halsey

So I'm sorry to my unknown lover Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really Starts to fall in love with me Sorry to my unknown lover Sorry I could be so blind Didn't mean to leave you And all of the things that we had behind

She ran away. She always did when things became hard. She left him behind her after he said he loved her. She couldn’t get close to him, not after Lincoln. She couldn’t lose another person that she cared about. She ran away and didn’t look back at him. Daisy didn’t want him to see the tears spilling out of her eyes, regret etched across her face.

Tear In My Heart ~ by Twenty One Pilots

My heart is my armor, She's the tear in my heart, she's a carver, She's a butcher with a smile, cut me farther, Than I've ever been.

Robbie’s eyes were on the road, a song playing softly on the radio. It was hot outside causing the asphalt to evaporate and the horizon to be indistinct. It was only when she let out a quiet snore that he looked over to her. He had always been good in keeping his walls up, but she came along, dressed in black and wearing a dazzling smile, and she had carved her name into his heart.

To You Alone ~ by Tom Rosenthal

Called out, to you alone. What made you? Maybe you know. Oh life, let it all go. How do we get to the sky?

As much as Robbie hated to admit it, Daisy and he were quite the same. Life had both made them into someone else, someone lonely. Their only wish was to leave their past behind and fill the emptiness their grief had left.

It’s Ok ~ by Tom Rosenthal

It's okay I know someday I'm gonna be with you

They had chased ghosts, they had been chased by angry Russian robots, they had been separated by different dimensions, though they still knew they’d find their way back to each other.

Waves ~ by Dean Lewis

But there is a light In the dark And I feel its warmth In my hands In my heart Why can't I hold on

It was cold. Even with the flames of the Rider warming him, the cold of this dimension crept inside his bones. It was dark. The Rider knew where he went, but Robbie could only watch as he killed his way throughout this dimension. Robbie’s only companion were his thoughts and they often conjured her face in his mind. In those moments, Robbie could see light in the darkness and his body filled with warmth, but her face soon disappeared and Robbie was left alone again in this hell dimension.

10 am, Gare Du Nord ~ by Keaton Henson

And please do not hurt me, love, I am a fragile one, and you are the light in my eyes Please do not break my heart, I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life

They were careful with each other. They both knew of all the pain and grief the other had been through and they didn’t want to cause more. Their conversations were soft and their touches were brief, as if they would break the other if they made a wrong move. Daisy and Robbie took their time with each other and slowly they fell in love, knowing the other would never hurt them.

10,000 Miles ~ by Sleeping At Last

Fare thee well My own true love Farewell for a while I'm going away But I'll be back Though I go 10, 000 miles

Daisy had no idea where he was. She didn’t even have a clue if the distance between dimensions was measurable, or even existent. Daisy didn’t know which dimension he had walked into, nor wasn’t she even sure of how long he would be gone. One thing she did know, he’d come back, no matter how far he was. He had promised.

AND MUCH MORE (For which I may write some fics about in the future, if I have the courage and/or inspiration)

I Shall Rise ~ by Karen O

And I shall rise, oh well I shall rise Again and again

You Were A Kindness ~ by The National

You were a kindness when I was a stranger But I wouldn't ask for what I didn't need Everything's weird and we're always in danger Why would you shatter somebody like me

Fire In My Bones ~ by Fleurie

Fire in my bones quakes, bending but it won’t break

Walk Through The Fire ~ by Zayde Wolf and Ruelle

There's no way to go, no way to go But straight through the smoke, straight through the smoke And the fight is all we know The fight is all we know

Gasoline ~ by Halsey

Well my heart is gold, and my hands are cold

I’ll See You Again ~ Wolf Saga

And I know we’ll meet up And I’ll see you again

Dark Doo Wop ~ by MS MR

The earth breaks, it falls and save your beat I'd find myself swallowed, drowning in your heat As long as we're going down... Baby you should stick around

War Of Hearts ~ by Ruelle

I can't help but love you Even though I try not to I can't help but want you I know that I'd die without you

Shake It Out ~ by Florence + The Machine

And I am done with my graceless heart So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart 'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn It's always darkest before the dawn

Smokestacks ~ by Layla

You got a downtown fire, like a shot in the dark You got a mad beamin' on you and a hot wide-eyed spark I got a body of wonder and an emerald mind I'm on a luminous heavy to put gold in my eyes

Young God ~ by Halsey

But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running

This has been in my drafts for a while now, ‘cause this was much more difficult than I had thought lol

I know a lot of fics are kind of the same, but that’s because the songs almost always make me think of that last damn moment were he looks back at her before leaving through the portal!!!

Let me know what you think of it! Hate it? Love it? Which one was your favourite (I’m curious) ?

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

I Just found a little thing that helps me to be productive when I feel hopeless and my depression is fucking with my brain!! Idk if it’ll work for anyone else but it works for me!!

ok so it’s super simple, literally just

first time by Hozier on repeat

the song literally feels like how getting better feels, although it does make me feel like. not manic because I don’t have anything that causes that but a synonym for manic that can be felt by everyone?? I don’t know but listen to it on repeat at FULL VOLUME AND THEN YOU CAN DO STUFF ITS GREAT

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

THANK YOU HOZIER FOR BLESSING US WITH NEW MUSIC ON THIS FINE FINE DAY