#however since he is a demon and has no actual holy alignment the healing magic affects his body

[moeblob]

Nytis, my loser demon cleric, about to lose it.

[transinistor]

𝚁𝙴𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙴𝚃 !

Can ya tell I got sick of it in the end ? Cause I got sick of it in the end LOL. So. I don't consider my Alastor extremely changed from canon and canon kinda fucks with me so, nice, but I have been writing Alastor since the pilot ep and I was COMPLETELY prepared for him to be totally different from canon, hence I have a bunch of lil ideas and divergences about him that do make him a little bit more unique to me specifically and that don't and aren't intended to follow canon. Most predominately my Alastor isn't actually a deer and while I think this is OBVIOUS for canon Alastor also, I'm a bit heavier on the suggestion he isn't what he looks like. For me, he's heavily inspired by the Not-Deer cryptids. Which I went into much more in depth here.

👁️ ) Probably the most unique aspect of my personal take on Alastor is the dual motif of something reptilian, most like an alligator or crocodile. As a result, he has patches on his body that resembles scales and his back has protrusive scutes particularly aligned with his spine.

👁️ ) He's covered in a thin layer of fur none the less, though he is not 'fluffy'. He'd be more like a horse texture wise as his fur isn't necessarily course or harsh to touch but its not plush and silky either. Combined with his more "scaly" patches he gives of the disturbing impression of something wrapped in deer skin or a unnatural hybrid between a deer and some type of reptile.

👁️ ) He has very sharp, jagged teeth. They are yellowed with his gums being black. They are not necessarily even but they're also not entirely consistent in appearance. Alastor has shapeshifting qualities and his mouth/teeth tend to transform to suit his mood, the more annoyed he is the bigger/sharper and more numerous they are. They're always alarmingly nasty, however. Man practically has a chainsaw for a mouth. My inspirations for what his teeth/mouth situation looks like def draw from Pennywise from It and the Creeper from Jeeper's Creepers.

🐊 Side note ━ you probably don't wanna get bitten by Alastor. If you've ever seen a shark bite you can take that and multiply it by about 5. Even a playful nip or nibble is gonna be painful and do some damage. A proper bite is, uh, well you're not intended to live through the experience and if you did by some chance of not bleeding out you have the whole... Infection thing to worry about.

👁️ ) Similar deal with his antlers. Due to his shapeshifting qualities they can appear a little different depending on his mood. Generally they're very small and harmless looking but make him mad and they grow. They're also sharp and when grown ? Very dangerous.

👁️ ) My Alastor is not heavily scared, I'm not even sure where that came from in fanon but nonetheless, its not a thing here. He has one notable scar / wound on his body and this is from Adam's holy axe. He's probably the only sinner demon who has ever survived such an injury and he's definitely paying for it. Its nasty and its very painful. Despite his attempts to stitch it closed, it hasn't healed much and rather seems to just throb and fester almost as if terribly infected and it is also horribly bruised beside being a large gash. This is very physically taxing for him and definitely saps his strength. He's doing a pro job at thugging it out but yeah, I def hc this is a thing and it hasn't just magically disappeared.

🐊 Side note ━ I def headcanon that demons are able to regenerate from just about all injuries inflicted on each other / injuries from non-holy weaponry, including "fatal" ones. However, holy weaponry is different and the only way to permanently scar, injure or kill them. I also headcanon Alastor is one of the few if not only Sinner Demons who was able to permanently kill other demons by apperently devouring their souls. Hence the fates of many of the previous overlords and Alastor's terrifying reputation.

👁️ ) I def headcanon Alastor has a particular scent about him, although I wouldn't call it really gross or unpleasant. He tends to smell little like iron and roux, with an occasionally mossy undertone. He can also have a smell of spices ; paprika and cayenne pepper especially cause his ass does be cooking and occasionally spices have a way of infusing in ones hair and clothes and thats very Alastor.

👁️ ) Alastor's an absolutely bizarre and hilarious contradiction when it comes to hygiene. There's certain things he doesn't like while other things just don't matter to him at all. For example: He does not brush his teeth, doesn't really care about oral hygiene what-so-ever. His hair is some weird in-between where its messy and yet not at the same time. Its long and shaggy but he brushes it occasionally, he just doesn't care to cut it or keep it tidy as he did when he was alive. If he does "cut it" its literally just hacking with a blunt instrument and not a proper hair cut at all.

He's particular about his clothing, but also in strange ways. Its tattered and torn in places but he'd still fuss about making sure everything is right ━ ie, its fine for him to be walking around with ripped coat-tails but he would make sure his tie was fixed properly. He wouldn't like, say, food or drink spilt on his clothing but he doesn't care about blood and viscera. In fact the latter isn't even that uncommon but fortunately never really noticeable thanks to his colour scheme and again while he isn't someone concerned with frequent bathing or using perfumes/colognes, he tends to get away with it due to usually smelling like spices and ingredients in his frequent cooking.

👁️ ) His demon form has obviously transformed his anatomy in many ways and this extends to the intimate areas. Probably one of Alastor's favorite aspects of his demon form is the fact his genitalia is almost all internal now. It has an external suggestion but thats about it. Nothing annoying poking around on the outside unless he wants/needs it. OF COURSE it can be unsheathed but he's decided no one needs to be seeing that and this is the public tumblr so we have some censoring going on. I might link an uncensored, private version eventually, though because I know the world wants to see demon not-deer dick super bad. /j

👁️ ) Ended up giving him the tail because I know he'd lowkey hate it. It sits flat against his ass/between his legs at almost all times though cause he's not showing it off and not making holes in his pants for it. The less anyone's looking at his tail/ass the better, in his opinion.

As far as his clothing goes I don't really imagine them too differently from canon. There is some very minor design changes I'd make but beside changing his tie brooch thingy to green along with his monocle I couldn't have been bothered to make an actual effort to show them. Maybe next time I'll try draw another "ref" to focus on clothing specifically. I think I would also redesign his microphone thinggy a bit too, personally, but yeah, maybe for next time cause I'm sick to death of this rn LMAO.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 16

Into the Woods

We rejoin our Bad Kids (minus Riz, who we’ll get to in a bit) who are still on the Goldenrod while chaos happens around them. Fig adds to the chaos by successfully (with a 30!) pretending to be one of Goldenhoard’s minions to no real plot significant effect. I just feel the need to mention every time Fig rolls a 30+. The kids get Gilear out of his hiding place--a sarcophagus--right before it’s launched out as ammo. His safety proves short-lived however because, when Ayda pings that Riz is no longer on the same plane as them, Fabian recklessly sails the Goldenrod directly into Riz’s last known location, instantly killing both himself and Gilear. So he’s for sure back to his old self. 

Kristen brings them back up and passes some heals out generally while she’s at it. Meanwhile, with a Nat 20, Adaine fully Oracles out and knows exactly where Riz was being held. There, they find a smear of blood (which they taste???? even though they know the disease is communicable by blood???) and Riz’s briefcase, but no body. Plus Tracker smells Celestial energy and Ayda senses conjuration magic. But all that subtle sleuthing is made pointless by Kristen getting a Nat 20 (of course) to just stumble into the next room and find a room full of footage of exactly what happened. Wild. 

Bill can’t get them to where Riz is. The best he can do is get them to the Astral Plane. Fig remembers to check on the stuff she stole from Vraz. Baby just got a to-do list but Fig conveniently grabbed a scroll which will create a portal back to Arborly. Then, they cast Zone of Truth on Goldenhoard who gives them this information before they get to the Astral Plane:

Arianwyn was never working with him.

He repeats what we already knew about the NK giving him a coin as part of them working together in the past. He adds that his money being spent would mean it would come back to him 5 fold and also increase the spread of the NK’s power. 

He thinks the NK is a creep and says he never talks and only appears in weird dreams. At Fig’s prompting, he says he does look a lot like the skeletal figure in Adaine’s Scry on the Shadowcat. He also says he never dealt directly with the Shadowcat and can’t see her in the photo. However, the Shadowcat did put him in touch with Aelwen. 

The NK had more followers in Elmville but Goldenhoard doesn’t know who else was because he refused to join the Shadowcat network, which was a requirement. (I wonder if they include whoever the couple in Sandra-Lnn’s past was)

He let the NK have Sylvere when he was taking over the world because he didn’t care about it. 

Meanwhile, our little Angel Riz is en route to heaven with his dad who is happy-shocked to see him. Pok calls in that he’s coming in with a “good aligned, possible CI,” and it’s immediately clear based on the reaction of the person on the other side of the call that Pok talks about Riz all the time in glowing terms. They arrive in heaven and Riz sees that he has a little chair set up at a copy of his grave so he can sit and listen when Riz and Sklonda come and talk to him. Ally is almost crying. Lou is almost crying. I’m almost crying. 

Heaven--or at least this version of heaven--is set up like an office but outside. I’m picturing the classic Window’s XP background. We learn that Pok is a part of a special force called the Lower Planar Recon Task Force. Basically, it’s full of traditionally evil aligned races (like goblins and gnolls) who are perfect for infiltrating places like Hell. We also see that Pok has a plaque for getting his death avenged by his son.

Anyway, we see where Riz gets his attitude from when Pok kicks puts his gameface on (“Clues first, friends later.”) and has an extended puzzle solving scene with Riz (sprinkled with some father/son stuff). Highlights:

Heaven actually didn’t know about the Kalina=Disease thing. Riz and the gang cracked that for them. Kalina doesn’t ping a Detect Good/Evil but Pok thinks she would ping a Detect Poison/Disease.

He started seeing Kalina about 22 years ago after a mission with the Third Ring (see below). No, he didn’t cheat on Sklonda. If it happened via sexual contact, it would have been pre-meeting her.  

Kalina can’t pick things up but she can create the sensation of weight and substance by hijacking your nervous system. So, to his knowledge at the time, Pok had touched her.

He was introduced to Kalina by someone he already knew and trusted from the Third Ring (Falinel government agency). 

Kalina doesn’t have godly intelligence or omniscience. The way she blew her cover was accidentally mentioning seeing something firsthand she would have had no way of seeing (a river being in a certain place). He didn’t call her out then but he clocked it and started looking into her extra-governmentally.

Kalina got Sklonda her job in Elmville--which directly put Pok in the path of Goldenhoard, who ate him. He also strongly suspects that he got Pok’s citizenship revoked--an action that allowed Goldenhoard to harm him.

Pok thinks that, despite the Bad Kids’ focus on the sex aspect of the Shadowcat plague, it’s a lot more general than that (see eg: the life transference spell moving it from Sandra-Lynn to Tracker). 

Father/Son Interlude #1: Riz mentions that all of his friends are super horny all the time and he’s not about that. Pok says that he was a super late bloomer so it’s fine if he’s not into that now or if he’s not into it period--though he selfishly does want grandkids. 

Father/Son Interlude #2: Pok also shares a story about his own relationship with his superficially distant but actually loving 1st gen immigrant dad the twin theses of which are “People show love in different ways,” and “Work is an act of love,” a sentiment that workaholic Riz appreciates. 

Most demons can see Kalina. 

Pok was in hell undercover to try and figure out how devils had been successful in keeping Kalina at bay. He showed up in the Bottomless Pit but he was trapped there for a while--presumably because Gorthalax was in a gem at that time (also Riz mentions for the first time that Sklonda is dating him which he takes OK). 

Pok has a new body so Kalina can’t tap into it. Kalina must have learned where Pok was because Sklonda infected Gorthalax once they started dating and she got the info from him. And since Kalina spurred him to come rescue Pok than she probably wanted him to blow his cover. 

Kalina avoided having her picture taken. Once it was taken, she wasn’t able to do certain things she was able to before.

Pok says that Riz probably won’t be able to visit him again without pretty powerful magic, but Riz isn’t too concerned because he has some pretty powerful friends. And, with that, Pok offers to hire Riz as a consultant for heaven which, you can imagine, he is very here for. He takes his son to get suited up. 

Back with the other Bad Kids, they look at the assorted things Bill has looted and find some Holy Water, which they pocket, and a birthday present for Fig, which she is pretty easily convinced to open early. It’s a sick new bass which doubles as a literal axe (OK, not an axe, it has serrated edges, I just like the idea of an axe-axe) and can shatter rubies. They then say bye to Bill and get back to Arborly (with the Hangman who is still knocked out, but not destroyed like before).

The group collectively decides to leave Gilear in Arborly for both his safety and the safety of Kristen’s high level spell slots. Adaine takes some of his blood so she can Scry on him if necessary. Sandra-Lynn and Gilear exercise their parental rights to make their daughter feel awkward about her love interest. Speaking of said love interest, we learn what Ayda was working on in secret: a spell for Adaine! It’s called Adaine’s Furious Fists and it essentially lets her magic punch people. Adaine can punch people now! I mean, she’s been doing it since S1 but now she can do it effectually! Love that for her!      

Back to Riz. He’s in with an angel called Isosceles (think quasi-eldritch horror Biblical angel, not Halloween costume angel) who is like the Q of the squad. Riz gets hooked up with some new gear:

Trick bullets (like how Green Arrow has trick arrows)

A grappling gun attachment for his gun

Arcadian Watch: Equipped w/ a saw, laser (1d4 radiant dmg) and lockpick 

Seraphim Vest: Basically a wingsuit (temp fly speed of 40 but only laterally and down, not up)

Gregorian Tie: Equipped with a spy camera 

Once he’s suited up, Pok calls up a door that will get Riz back to the moment in time it was called. But, since they’re in no rush now, he asks Riz to take a walk with him and fill him in on some of the boring, mundane, unimportant stuff he missed from RIz’s childhood. It’s very sweet.

Afterwards, Riz pops back up in Arborly and everyone is super happy to see him. Riz almost blurts out what he learned about his dad but wisely moves the conversation to the Van where he tells them everything except the personal family stuff. Based on the info from Riz, Adaine thinks that Kalina was probably introduced into eleven society a couple hundred years ago by Landrynn Lear (fake cleric spreading the Kalina virus they learned about a few eps ago) so it’s not super weird Aelwen and Arianwyn would have been working with her. It’s less weird than Pok working than them. 

Kristen latches onto the part about the picture being taken of her taking away some of her power and they all do checks to puzzle that out. Adaine (with Arcana) realizes that Kalina has to maintain herself in all these people all the time and, if a picture is taken of her--has to make it so that she can be seen by all of those people at all times which is a permanent spell effect which is-as we learned earlier this season--very hard to pull off. Her not being able to do certain things once the pic was taken was probably just her losing power from the strain of this extra magical effect (my takeaway: don’t let her destroy that photo--or, use it as a bargaining chip). Kristen (with Religion) thinks the 4 transubstantiations (familiar to plague and spellbook to curse and so on) are curses which overlap and create synergy (my takeaway: take them out one by one and watch them exponentially drop off in effectiveness). Gorgug (with a Tinkerer’s check) surmises that the way to take the most pics of Kalina and weaken her would be to take a video of her and broadcast it to as many people as possible.    

Gorgug also has another thought: He wants to know if them having and spending their cursed money is actively endangering him. At the prospect, he decides to give all of his money away to the Tinkerer’s Hall (without telling them it’s dragon money, which means the curse won’t get passed on). Kristen, Fig, and Riz follow suit, much to Fabian’s shock and horror. Adaine opts to keep her money since she has no caring family to fall back on. 

They also--I’m just gonna bluntly say this insane thing that Ally conceived of--have another shrimp party which they livestream in hopes that it will go viral, gain a following, and then when they have video of Kalina, they can get lots of people to watch it. And you know what the craziest part is? It’s not a bad plan. It’s c r a z y, but not illogical. To quote Mr. Lee Mulligan, “The charity shrimp party goes super viral.” Amazing. 

The next day, Adaine brings back Boggy (who poofed in the last fight) as an owl so he’ll be a little safer while in Sylvere. Don’t worry, he’s still spherical as ever. The Hangman (now healed) stays behind, as does the Van--but they do take it actual gem out and take it with them. Baby is there and does come with them. Ayda and GaF also come at Fig’s request.

Fig is able to open a passage into Sylvere and they can instantly feel the ambient badness. They decide to start looking for the three things they need to make the Kalina Vaccine: Starmoth chrysalis, Herrowgray nectar, and Lundgreen pollen. The jocks and Boggy go for the chrysalis, Sandra-Lynn, Fig, Adaine, and Ayda go for the nectar, while Kristen, Riz, and Tracker look for the pollen.

The boys don’t find anything but, suddenly, there’s an image of a super creepy witch’s cottage in the gem, and Zathriel (the Celestial inside) bugs out before the gem goes dark. And Ragh is suddenly gone.   

In her group, Sandra-Lynn flies off on Baxter in search of the nectar but the flapping noises that should be happening suddenly stop. Ayda offers to fly after her but then also becomes distressed, asking why they’re in a house (the others can’t see it) before also vanishing.  

Kristen, Riz, and Tracker are looking around stagnant water for the pollen and they see Kalina’s reflection in the water. Kristen starts to film her on her crystal. Kalina (who they can all see at the same time for once) says that in Sylvere, nightmares are real, something demonstrated when Tracker fully wolfs out without the presence of an actual full moon. Kristen tries to Dimension Door out but they're too far in. They try to subdue her but Trcker vanishes into moths (?). Kalina says that Tracker is chasing down what she thinks is Kristen to kill her (which would make sense as being her nightmare). She says that she said she’d kill them if they got into the forest and here they are. She does a little damage to Riz to underline the statement and Riz starts recording her secretly. Kalina is doing small bits of damage (like 1-4 I think) but it’s enough that it will kill them before they have the chance to make tinctures. 

The jocks find the chrysalis and then look for the others. Fig tries to use Ada’s feather to find her but, like the sapphire, it’s dead. Through Boggy, Adaine can see the jocks are flipping out and find the nectar and go find them.

Kristen casts Greater Restoration of Riz and tells him to find Tracker. The attacks stop on Riz and double on Kristen. She’ll be dead before she can employ any kind of healing mojo than can help significantly and the other healer is MIA. Everyone is running to find each other and then they suddenly hear, emanating from every corner of the forest creepy laughter and they all see a crowned skull. Concerning! 

Detention

Fabian for Crashing the Goldenrod

This was almost like the ribbon dancing sequence except Kristen had something to potentially gain from that and this was an absolutely insane course of action for no particular reason. 

Honor Roll

Kristen for Using Her One Greater Restoration on Riz

What a quintessential healer move. Having one heal and giving it away to your party member. Listen, she may have rejected Helio, but he picked her for a reason. Girl is a BAMF.  

 Random Thoughts

“You can't make these things up. You can. We did.”

Actual Crazy Person Bill Seacaseter: I had to kill Gilear as a matter of course but I love Gilear!

Bill tells Gilear to kill any man who looks askance at Hilariel. Fig (mirroring a comment to Bill from last season) questions what he should do if any woman looks at her. An enthusiastic, “Dealer’s choice!” is the answer.  

"If you die in hell do you die in real life?"

Is the message of this season just “Vaccinate your kids”?

Fabian offers to threaten someone who’s bullying Gilear. You know what that is? Growth.

Bill brought the Bad Kids to the Astral Plane but they wanted to get back to Arborly ASAP. I wonder if there was something Brennan expected them to do there and they didn’t.

Fig ripping the scroll was wild but, honestly, I might have thought that was how it worked too. It’s for sure a thing sometimes. But, in a similar vein, very concerned Fig is going to accidentally shatter Gorthalax’s gem prematurely with that bass. Feel like she’s not 100% clear on how that works.   

“I don’t have a crush one anyone. I just want to be rich.”

Riz took over from Adaine this episode in unpacking my high school experiences, lemme tell you.

Wondering where Baron fits into all this. It seems like the kind of effect that Sylvere would be able to produce but he wasn’t in Sylvere when that happened and I feel like that wouldn’t be Riz’s nightmare (unless it represented anxiety about his not dating or s/t like that). What was that about? Who exactly caused it and with what ability? Is that just a standard demon power?

Not important but last week when Brennan said a halo formed around Pok he distinctly motioned around his head and not over his head so I felt happy to have interpreted that correctly when he said this ep that the halo was one of those you see in old pics of like the Madonna and Child and not a modern-traditional angel halo.

The idea of a lower plane task force is extremely dope from a world building perspective. Like, that makes total sense. 

“Don’t even talk to me until my death’s avenged.” I knew that was going to be a real mug as soon as it was said. 

The stuff with Pok and Riz was so unbelievably sweet. Him having a chair set up to listen to his family talk at his grave? Him clearly being the proudest dad and talking about Riz all the time? Him wanting to just talk about unimportant stuff with Riz because it’s his important stuff. Ugh, my entire heart. And Riz immediately reverting to full, “My dad could beat up your dad,” mode. I love them so much.  

I feel like Siobhan took coming up with a spell for Ayda as an actual out of game homework assignment which she should because Brennan *will* let her do it and then Ayda will save the party with it. That’s how D&D works baby I don’t make the rules. Hit me up with your best ideas.

Adaine actually asked Gilear for some of his hair in order to Scry on him and he’s the one who offered blood instead because he couldn’t spare any more hair. Feel like there’s gotta be a spell for that

Siobhan just casually says the phrase, “Mycelium web,” once again just being Adaine.  

Couldn’t Kalina just say, “Screw it,” and stop showing up in pictures if the strain gets too much? Like, if your cover is blown, it’s blown. Or is it set up in such a way that it’s gonna screw her before she has the chance to turn it off?

It’s funny that Zac is playing such a low Int character because he’s actually figured out a lot of stuff this season and he’s the one who remembered that dragon madness won’t get passed on if the person who gets the money has no knowledge that it’s dragon money. I wonder if we’ll get to see him play a non-Himbo next season.

Adaine, predictably, has no social media presence. Speaking of social media, I love the naming convention of just sticking the word “fantasy” in front of things like Twitter and Google--as in, “You guys are all over Fantasy Twitter.” Like, why even complicate things? You know what this is. 

Goodbye card for Gilear: Outside--Gilear I need you/Inside--to get me a cortado.

I had a stray thought that Riz could possibly use the door to come back after having done angel training for like a month but (1) that’s a little meta-gamey and (2) they were making an exception for him to be there that short time as it was. Anything else probably would have been pushing it. 

Is Pok’s heaven affiliated with any deity or is it just where all the good workaholic secret agents go? To me, it seems like it liaises with all the other heavens more than being it’s own main heaven, you know?

Oh man. Ayda disappearing and Fig clutching her powerful feather, begging her to come back after indirectly putting her the situation she’s currently in? Heartbreaking dude. 

I wonder why the people who disappeared disappeared beyond just getting rid of the NPCs.

Edit: Forgot to mention the part where Kristen rolled a -1 with her trash Dex so Ayda had to give her a portent roll to not instantly blow everything. 

The Bad Kids are in a very precarious position right now. If I trusted Kalina to be someone of her word, I might try to bargain with her--destroy the picture in return for letting us leave. From a DM standpoint, I think it’s probably a good time for an Abernant Ex-Machina. They’re in the forest too as far as we know and they gotta come back into the story somehow. This could be the time. 

Everyone going off about how Riz is a little angel and he could have told them if he was a Celestial and how much he loves Gilear while he’s not in the scene and can’t say anything is peak D&D. 

Bill Seacaster saying a bunch of insane nonsense and then Adaine being like, “Nice seeing you Mr. Seacaster,” is also peak D&D. 

This episode, Adaine, Fig*, Kristen and Brennan (as Sandra-Lynn) each rolled a Nat 20. Adaine and FIg each rolled one Nat 1 that was canceled by disadvantage and Riz rolled one Nat 1 that stuck. 

*I actually am not 100% Fig rolled at Nat 20. Kristen did for sure but I don’t have a Tally for her so I might have flipped those by accident.  If you happen to know for some weird reason, lemme know.