#however i log on online and i have like 5 asks

[asaka-lucy-dr-rc]

English version DR:THH Gameplay Log #4

⚠️ Note that this Gameplay Log contains many spoilers, not only for THH but also for the entire Danganronpa franchise.

[Previous #3]

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In the original, the way he speaks is fairly normal, but in the EN text, some bluntness(?) seems to have been added, perhaps to make his biker gang style more obvious.

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(I failed to take a screenshot of the EN version. Sorry!) When Makoto looked him up online, he said that gangs love him, but it seems that they translated it appropriately here. (The original texts are almost exactly the same, though.)

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hehe, the original text makes it sound like Makoto is very hesitant to talk to him. Yeah, I know it can't be helped, because the overuse of the "..." pause is weird in English.

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It is interesting to see the word "よろしく" translated in various ways in the English version. If they had not made any special effort, I think her line would have been translated as "Hi, I'm Junko Enoshima. Nice to meet ya!" or something like that. But actually her "よろしく" is translated as "Charmed, I'm sure!". I wonder if this translation was done based on the fact that they will be talking about her appearance later.

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Oh, I was surprised to see the word "photoshopped" used, since photoshop is the name of a specific software, and such words tend to be avoided in stories produced in Japan. I was a little surprised to see the word "photoshopped" used so openly. By the way, the word "盛ってる" is used in the original text. This is a slang used mainly by girls, and the act of making oneself look pretty in general, whether the image is edited or not, is called "盛る". ("盛ってる" is the form with -ing added to "盛る" if I were to compare it to English).

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Huh, is it because her name is Junko that she uses the word "junk" so much??? 😂 If so, it is an interesting idea.

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This is also the case the "…" in the original text was difficult to translate, but the original has a bit more of a sense of Kyoko's confusion about her lack of memory, but I feel the EN text makes Kyoko seem simply cold. (I'm pretty sure Kyoko is cold in the original as well, though.)

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Oh, yeah, I finally got to see Chihiro called by "she".

ehehe, the original uses the word "小動物 (little animal)", but the English version is a bit more specific, saying "little bunny". Awww, I like the fact that Chihiro is compared to a bunny, because when I think of a bunny, I think of Usami and Chiaki. An image of Chihiro and Chiaki wearing bunny ears comes to mind. ( ᵕ̤ᴗᵕ̤ ).。o♡

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Ah, I remember that Hina as well as Taka was one of the names that confused me when I saw them in English fandom. When I first saw it, I was like "Hina? .........Who is Hina?" Is this also because Aoi is hard to pronounce?

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haha, in the original, Makoto shows no hesitation in saying the word "プロポーション (proportions)," but in the English version, he seems a little reluctant to say it, which is cute! <3 Perhaps the English Makoto is kinder than the original.

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Uh, this is the part that gets weird when translated into English. In the original she does not know how to write Naegi's Nae in kanji and asks him about it, but in the English version the statement is that she does not know how to spell it. In reality, when Japanese people introduce themselves to each other, it is very common for them to ask each other what kind of kanji their partner's name uses. However, the kanji "苗 (Nae)" is quite simple and should be easy to understand since there are almost no other kanji with the same reading. So, it is a conversation that shows that she is quite stupid... well, I guess it is good enough that she doesn't know how to spell "Naegi", because it also shows that she is stupid.

[Next #5]

[mariska]

i don't usually type out posts directly like this because i am a very very traumatized and anxious and depressed and scared person 24/7. but i have been almost entirely sitting and rotting away from multiple lifelong chronic health struggles for years and years and years and if i'm gonna be direct and channel my absolutely fucking furious anger into one hopefully good helpful thing then im gonna do that now, because we all need to speak the fuck up for ourselves and each other and we will not survive in this world if we don't work together, which brings me to the thing i need to say:

if you are able to, and i know for a fact that many, many people are able to, you NEED to wear a mask when you leave your house. yes, every time. every single time. outdoor events too. anywhere you go where there's other human beings. schools. doctor's appointments. work. taking a walk. by yourself, with friends, with everyone. you do not have another choice. you have to wear a mask and if you're also able to, because there are a lot of us who are disabled to a point of very little to absolutely no independece in our lives who are not able to, you need to be telling, not asking, the people you hang out with, go places with, family that you are in contact with etc to also wear a fucking face mask.

the pandemic is NOT over. there is no post-covid era. it's here, it's been here for years and those of us who have both been disabled long before it was discovered and those of us who have become disabled since have been screaming at all of you for almost 5 years now to give a shit about the other living human beings around you AND YOURSELF!!!!! i am one person who does not and has no intention of speaking for the entire global disabled community (we ARE in every community of people, worldwide, by the way. every single one. disabled people are everywhere and we have been since the earliest days of humanity), and i've tried really really really hard to hold myself back from hating so many of you for not caring about anyone's general health and safety when you step into the world, but i can't anymore. i don't have any spare compassion left for you. get it the fuck together, get your fucking covid and flu vaccine/booster shots and actually make an effort to learn how often you should get the boosters again after that, and WEAR A MASK OVER YOUR FUCKING FACE AND STOP KILLING PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO HAVE BEEN DRAINED OF ALL ENERGY AND STRENGTH THAT WE HAVE BECAUSE WE HAVE TO GO INTO THE WORLD YOU ALSO LIVE IN AND SO MANY OF YOU KEEP GETTING US MORE AND MORE SICK AND YOU DO NOT CARE. you HAVE to care. there is not another option. N95 is currently the most effective mask type as far as i am aware but i don't know everything so do your own research about which masks will work best for you.

my fucking god. so many videos online where i just see so many people talking about the very true fact that we all need to stand up for each other and do what's right and help out however we can WITH NO MASK IN SIGHT WALKING ON BUSY CROWDED STREETS AND BUILDINGS AND CONCERT HALLS!!!!! STOP KILLING DISABLED PEOPLE. please please please please, yes, to those who are able to, continue protesting, logging offline and going into the world to take part in actions of community care, but WEAR. A. MASK. WHEN. YOU. DO. do not put it on your chin 90% of the day. do not put it UNDER your nose. put it on your face. like a mask. and wear it. and make sure the other people in your life do the same. i am literally begging you. none of us can do the work that NEEDS to be done to take care of each other in ANY society if we are all too sick or DEAD to be able to actually do that work.

thanks.

[i-rate-horse-games]

You should rate horse isle 3, It’s fucking wild.

agreed. agreed. agreed.

first of all, i was only able to stomach about an hour of this game, and as such this review is really just my personal experience & missing most of the game!

this is what horse isle 1 looks like

this is what horse isle 2 looks like

this is horse isle 3.

when i logged into horse isle 3 for the first time i was greeted with randomly dumped in some player built town with bad 8 bit music and traps set that punted my helpless virtual body into a sand flat with absolutely nothing there. just a low poly inescapable sand flat. i tried to ask for help in the global chat and was given instructions as to how to Start the Tutorial, as it doesn't start automatically and isn't super obvious, but then i couldn't say thank you because i had run out of the tokens needed to speak in global?? and then i got stuck in the tutorial because I needed to pick up a stick, and it was just infinite sand flat in every direction.

my goal was to find the trans train enthusiasts from the legends, but instead i got picked up by a town of middle aged moms who offered me free stuff. i accepted but then remembered the mission & also that i would likely not be playing much longer. then unaccepted. this was uncomfortable for everyone

the overworld reminds me of the low poly worlds game developers make when learning unity for the first time. not a horrible thing, but would be better if the gameplay were really good to make up for it or something. however i have no idea if the gameplay is really good! i never found any jumping competitions! i spent so little time online that my rental fully tacked horse never expired, but I did catch a few others and try riding them bareback and that is SLOW. traditional! i played horse isle 2 for a few minutes and it was just about as slow. i like the horse catching mechanic! it was fun getting the hang of it.

nothing is straightforward, so i had to google how you buy tack in this game. apparently you have to go to a player town and find a sign, click on it, and buy tack from there. but finding the sign was pretty rough for me. having only played an hour, every piece of furniture looked the same. i failed this mission.

i hear one of the main draws of this game is the silly horse breeding mechanics. i did not experience this firsthand, but ive seen some silly looking horses, so my complements do go there.

the soundtrack is pretty good! the badlands ost is groovy! the alpine ost is dramatic and ambient! black sands has a nice cello and some very dramatic drums! i'm listening to the ost here and it all seems pretty nice! a lot of this is perfect to study to! i'm jamming!

i rate this game 2 stars out of 5!

★★☆☆☆

the stars are for good soundtrack and big online open world! points deducted for the unwelcoming design, transphobia and homophobia of the developers & the drama about their rules and etc, and the fact that if you pet your horse they will make purring sounds!

next games to come will likely be 3ds games! feel free to submit horse games for me to try to '"'review'"' for funzies!

edit: here's part 2

[ahiddenpath]

Life Update

Ramblin' about life beneath the cut.

I've been wanting to write one of these for a while, but... It's been hard??? Like- It just seems like such a task, somehow xD Maybe it's difficult to translate into a lil post?

I've been at my new job for nearly 5 months. It's hard to explain the difference between this place and the last. At my last company, the mental/emotional strain was high for everyone. The layoffs, people leaving without new hires, and trying to shove equipment from the locations my company let go of into the one remaining building... It was a lot of challenges and job insecurity, which translated into coworkers being constantly on edge. Not a good environment.

However, I loved my boss, I knew what I was doing, and I was perceived as experienced and capable. I never went in wondering if I'd be able to do what was asked of me. I also worked 9:30 to 4:30 most of the time, although I often didn't break for lunch (usually it was 10-20 minutes at my desk, shoving a packed lunch in my face while doing computer work).

At my new place, everyone is so... So goddamned smart. And so nice! There's not a single buttface at work! My company is successful and growing, people are curious and motivated and brilliant. The company offers career progression (something I've never had before), we're fairly paid, we do innovative work and push the boundaries of science, buzzword buzzword buzzword.

But good god, we work hard.

I've learned more in these nearly five months than I think I ever have in my life. Hell, this is more than I probably learned in six years at my last place, and definitely in the six years before that. The amount of information I absorb every day is just bonkers. I spend far more time not knowing what I'm doing than knowing.

I feel like an absolute rube. The truth is that I've been assigned nothing but difficult work, lol! I fall asleep and wake up thinking about how to make my experiments work, my anxiety constantly tells me I'm an idiot and everyone else thinks so, too. I currently have an entire work day of overtime mentally logged- I've been trying to leave early to offset extra hours here and there, but instead, the total of extra time keeps growing. I'm considering taking a sick day to counter balance it.

I don't spend as much time online anymore. I know I've been missing posts and not keeping up, but it can't be helped. I haven't been able to create as much, either. I'm worried about burnout and being able to keep this up. I try to tell myself that growing as a scientist is exciting and worthwhile, but instead, I end up questioning if I have what it takes.

I'm not sleeping well, I haven't exercised in weeks, I'm not creating much or refreshing myself during my time off. I'm considering setting up a few therapy sessions for advice. As I said to my husband, "All I want is a job where I don't need therapy to figure out how to cope with the stress from the job."

And the wildest part is... This is a good job at a good company. We just work too hard with too high expectations. I'm back in that position where eating, drinking, and using the restroom are difficult to fit in- meanwhile, my boss wants me to do all of this extra reading "when I have time," and he asks why I didn't attend social events, etc.

I know from therapy that my job is to deal with what's in front of me in the healthiest way, and if that involves reframing how I think about it, then fine. I haven't figured out how to do that.

And I suppose I don't have much else to say! My focus is constantly taken up by work, so uh... What else would I say? I hope you're all doing well and maintaining that balance that I can't seem to find right now. Take care and be well <3

[yakdeculture]

Granblue Fantasy Relink Review

Okay guys here's the thing. I don't really play the gatcha game lets get that out of the way. You ask me to post grid I'm getting scared. Idk what means like my weapons? I just log in for free rolls man I've had an account for 6 years and I'm on chapter 19 I don't think I read a damn word of the story. I know the popular women I know there's a stupid little fucking twink guy and there's like 5 of him an sometimes he has brown hair but other times he has white hair and hes likes saber fate stay night but for fujoshis but Idk his name and I don't want to know. All that to say I pretty much have no business playing this game. I bought it because my friend tweeted "theres a milf in relink" and i thought it would be funny to reply to that with a receipt of me buying the game. So yeah I went into this with barely any knowledge at all about this series in terms of what the hell is actually going on.

That said if people were being fr about there being people who think the game's story is bad because it's confusing or doesn't explain enough then I don't get where that's coming from. To be honest I kind of thing that idea was made up because some of y'all are way too fucking bored online and you have to invent discord so you put on your little FBI or CIA cap and you say lets go find some completely random idiot off the side of the street who will literally say anything at all so we can qrt them and act like this is a commonly held opinion. Sorry for the tangent but you know what I mean? Like someone will qrt like the craziest person you've ever fucking seen OR a 15 year old and act like whatever they said was the normal default opinion. Listen no offense but I'm 25 if a kid is wrong on the internet its not my fucking problem and I'm not wasting my time thinking about what they think about anything. Randoms do not exist to me. I have no interest in arguing anything at all with anyone. I am happy to give my analysis on some things if I am asked but I don't just think about this shit unprompted.

Anyways with that out of the way yeah the story is very beginner friendly not at all confusing in pretty much any way and also the gameplay goes fucking hard so yeah this is an awesome game. So every I've written everything I've just said before I beat the game, I'm on chapter 8 right now but I can think without having beat it I know the gameplay is fire I know the story as at the very least understandable and is probably pretty good, I don't know how it ends but I've thought it was pretty good so far. Pretty much the only way you could argue this game expects you to have played the gatcha is in the sense they don't try to spend like too much time building up the relationships between the characters, they pretty much just tell you what they are, show them to you in action with like a cute little dialogue scene before the game really start then its kinda like okay you should get the point we can move on now and I think that's true. Like what the fuck else were they gonna do did you want Granblue Origins. Did you want Granblue Fantasy The Animation The Game as a little intro? Look I would play the first however many chapter of the gatcha story as a game like this who wouldn't but I don't think this game is missing anything that prevents you from enjoying the cast. You get the vibes they pass you the joint and you smoke that shit. It's that simple.

Finished the main story, pretty much my only complaint is they fake like its gonna end like 4 times. Like I got places to be man you can't keep doing this you have to end eventually. But yeah the story was great this game has some fantastic set pieces and fights. I don't know how much of a most game this game has, I imagine it must be a lot because you end the game at like level 50 and you can go up to 100 so there must be more shit to do. I don't know if I'm gonna do all that to be honest idk how much I would get out of it. Not saying I'm gonna immediately uninstall the game or anything but I got what I came for and now I'm not sure how much of what is left to do was designed for me considering I was mostly interested in doing the story and meeting the characters and stuff. But hey great game.

[hessbynum]

Sue Massek Project - Blog #2 - Loving Nancy

Okay, we need to talk about “Loving Nancy.” When Sue asked me to apprentice with her, I’m pretty sure I awkwardly blurted out that I wanted to learn her version of this song. Sue recorded this song on her 2015 release, Precious Memories. The album utilizes songs she arranged for a one woman play she starred in on the life of Sarah Ogan Gunning.

I listen to music voraciously so I’m always cautious about saying I don’t know a song or when I first heard a song, but I remember doing a double take when I bought this album from Sue and this track played. The song was very strange to me because although it’s told from the perspective of the male, it’s a tragic song that acknowledges Nancy has no agency in the story it tells and as such, her heart breaks. While loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t unusual in ballads, the set up of this one just struck me as strange. There’s clear elements of being a work song and some of the ideas point to it being a very old ballad retrofitted into a new location. It's an odd 'I have a girl back home, but she probably hates me I don't care' kind of song. (Ballad experts feel free to weigh in here.) 

Have a listen to Sarah’s version before we go any further. This is on her album Girl of Constant Sorrow, available here: https://folkways.si.edu/sarah-ogan-gunning/girl-of-constant-sorrow 

Sarah’s version.

The album liner notes are available online here: https://folkways-media.si.edu/docs/folkways/artwork/FLG00026-LP.pdf  Thank you, Smithsonian Folkways. In particular, this is what the notes say about “Loving Nancy” on page 8:

Sarah, while very young, learned a number of songs from her mother, Sarah Elizabeth Lucas Garland, from “Lizzie’s” sisters, and their children. Such pieces were known to the Lucases for many generations and were brought directly from the British Isles or absorbed from other Anglo-American singers in Kentucky. This particular variant of “Loving Nancy” is not found in standard collections; however the text is transcribed (brochure) by Betty Garland from her own singing in her 1964 Folkways album.

Since Nancy is a most common ballad name, it is difficult to place the “Lucas” variant in a specific ballad family. “Farewell Charming Nancy” (Laws K 14) has the hero steer his boat to the East Indies; Sarah’s hero street his boat to New Alena (Orleans). Jim Garland has suggested to his daughter Betty that Kentucky men who rafted logs out of the mountains sang “Loving Nancy.” Perhaps we see here an ocean voyage localized to a trip down the Ohio-Mississippi. Before this piece is placed directly in the “Farewell Charming Nancy” category, one must note that Sarah’s song ends with Nancy’s death by heartbreak, exactly like many heroines in “William and Nancy II” (Laws P 5). Normally one would assume Sarah’s song to be spliced out of these two ballads. However, her intervening stanzas contain commonplaces which appear elsewhere. I cite only the “write a fine hand” reference in Sharp’s “Pretty Saro” and the “salmon” reference in Creighton’s “Pretty Polly.” This latter figure suggests both the theme of animal disguises to escape pursuit in “The Two Magicians” (Child 44), and the imagery of chase and conquest in the amatory “Hares on the Mountain” collected by Sharp and others in England (Dean-Smith). 

Betty Garland, American Folk Ballads, Folkways 2307.

I’m going to travel the wilderness through,

Therefore, loving Nancy, I’ll bid you adieu.

I’m going to travel a many a long mile,

Therefore, loving Nancy, I’ll leave you for a while.

Down in New Alena my boat I will steer

And the face of many pretty girls I see on the shore.

But the face of a Spaniard I’d never adore,

Go back to Kentucky, try Nancy once more.

I wish I was a clerks man, could write a fine hand,

I’d write my love a letter that she’d understand.

I’d send it on water that’d never overflow,

Go back to Kentucky, try Nancy once more.

I wish I was a fisherman down by the seaside

And Nancy was a salmon come floating on the tide.

I’d throw my net around her and bring her to shore,

Go back to Kentucky, try Nancy once more. 

Loving Nancy, loving Nancy, I have returned home,

I always did love you and for your sake mourned.

We’re going to get married, I doubt for your sake.

I threw my arms around her, and felt her heart break.

Anyone else bothered that they called the narrator the hero? Yikes.

I looked up Farewell, Charming Nancy and the vibes seem quite different. The song is described as: "The sailor bids his sweetheart farewell. She does not wish to part, and offers to go with him. He tells her that she simply is not strong enough for life at sea. They part sadly. Some texts warn girls against trusting sailors[.]" You can read the notes here: https://balladindex.org/Ballads/LK14.html

Betty Garland’s version can be found here, if you’d like to listen:

Betty’s version remains available through Smithsonian Folkways here: https://folkways.si.edu/betty-garland/american-folk-ballads/music/album/smithsonian

Betty's version seems strangely optimistic to me after listening to Sue's version for so many years.

The liner notes say regarding this song: 

Lovin’ Nancy is an old mountain folk song, have no record of it ever coming out of England, it has been our family since before the Civil War and it has been considered by our family that it was composed by our grandfather Wilson Lucas or I should say my great grandfather or one of his songs who were all singers. This song although it says “my boat I will stir”, would be be more correct if it said, “down to the Ohio my log raft I will stir”, because these men who rafted logs down the Kentucky river sand this song and this was before there was any railroads in the mountains. Have never heard it sung by anyone but the Garland family and was handed down to me from my father Jim Garland and to him from his mother Elizabeth Lucas Garland who learned it from her father Wilson Lucas.

The notes go on to include the lyrics. I will note, the New Alena line is different. “It’s down to New Orleans my boat I will stir.” 

Sue’s version can be found online here:

Sue plays in a thumb lead 2 finger style, which she indicates she learned this style from Blanche Coldiron. Sarah Ogan Gunning borrowed from the melody of this song for her famous song “Come All You Coal Miners” which Sue’s band, Reel World String Band, does. In order to keep them separate, Sue plays “Loving Nancy” in a 2 finger style while she does “Come All You Coal Miners” in a clawhammer style. 

Here's Sarah singing “Come All You Coal Miners" if you'd like to compare melodies.

As the Smithsonian notes indicate, a quick search of “Loving Nancy” will get you songs more akin to other songs. Dock Boggs version reminds me of the “Waggoner’s Lad” or “Pullin’ Away” though there’s some overlap with the lyrics.

The full liner notes can be found here: https://folkways-media.si.edu/docs/folkways/artwork/FW03903.pdf

Dock says he got the song from a neighbor woman named Holbrook when he was living in Mayking. He changed the tune in 1965 which is what’s on the recording. 

The original text of this song was written on lined tablet paper headed ‘Ballad of Loving Nancy Aug. 22, 1904 Leslie (or Lester) Ky.’ Dock adds that he thinks Mistress Holbrooks’ grandmother (born 1878) sang this song.

In picking apart Sue’s version, I’ve been describing the structure as A, B, B, A. The A line is low and the B line is high. (I'm sure this is improper and I don't care.) It’s ultimately, just a few measures of melody. While the haunting sound of sawmill is apparent, Sue actually plays this song in standard G tuning due to the play. She wanted to avoid retuning on stage. 

[navdurga32]

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Taskperks provides excellent customer support to help creators through every step of the promotion process. Whether you have questions about choosing the right package, need help setting up your campaign, or encounter issues along the way, Taskperks' dedicated support team is available to assist you.

8. Boost Your Channel’s Credibility

In the early stages of building a YouTube channel, social proof plays a significant role in attracting new viewers. When people see that your videos have a substantial number of views, they are more likely to trust your content and watch it themselves. By increasing your view count with Taskperks, you enhance your channel’s credibility, which can lead to more organic views and subscribers over time.

9. Integrated with Other Platforms

Taskperks doesn't just limit its services to YouTube. It also offers options to promote your videos across multiple platforms, including Instagram, Facebook, and more. This multi-platform approach can help you build a more comprehensive online presence and direct more traffic to your YouTube channel from various sources.

Conclusion

Growing your YouTube channel and increasing your views requires a combination of content creation, optimization, engagement, and promotion. By following best practices such as optimizing for SEO, engaging with your audience, and promoting your content across multiple platforms, you can significantly improve your video’s visibility.

However, to expedite your channel's growth, leveraging platforms like Taskperks can provide the additional exposure you need. With its legitimate views, targeted audience reach, affordability, and safe promotion methods, Taskperks stands out as one of the best platforms to help you get more views on your YouTube videos. Whether you're just starting or looking to scale your channel, Taskperks can be a valuable tool in your YouTube growth strategy.

[articlezings]

How to Stop Social Media Envy in Its Tracks

Do you sometimes find yourself feeling envious of other people’s lives while scrolling through your social media feeds? It’s normal and quite common to experience feelings of sadness or envy while poking around online. It’s important, however, to remember that people are only sharing their best, most glamorous photos and that we all have our ups and downs. Here are seven tips that will help you to shake off social media envy.

1. Become aware of your feelings

A study in Germany asked 600 adults to discuss their feelings about social media. One-third of those who participated shared that they were coping with negative feelings while on social media sites. The dominant emotions were envy and frustration.

Dr. Hanna Krasnova at the Humboldt-Universität shared the following: “By and large, online social networks allow users unprecedented access to information on relevant others—insights that would be much more difficult to obtain offline.” Research proves that we experience unpleasant feelings because of the inflated, retouched presentations that people create online. Stop and realize that it’s all a make-believe, virtual world. The first step is just acknowledging that this envy occurs, and it’s normal.

2. Step up your real-world interactions

Research shows that people who look at an acquaintances’ vacation photos while spending time together in person do not experience the negative feelings they do while scrolling on social media. Here’s an idea—spend more time with your close pals, and look at pictures from their latest family gathering or vacation in person. Spend more time talking and interacting socially in 3D, and you’ll be less prone to the social media blues.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

Cut out all of that negative self-talk and realize that it’s like watching “reality” TV—there’s a ton of styling, hair and make-up behind that stuff, and the same applies to social media. You’ll always see people’s wildest, sexiest, funniest, most adventurous photos, right? So remember that fact the next time you’re stuck on your ex’s page seeing how great their new partner’s hair looks, or how awesome their Norman Rockwell holiday photos were. Stop comparing yourself to fantasy worlds created by other people, and love your life, right now.

4. Do something new

So, you keep getting annoyed when you see old high school or college pals living large online… do something about it! Do you feel stuck in your job or relationship? It’s time to take stock and use these unpleasant feelings as a motivational tool to help you get out of your funk. Take a new class, end a toxic relationship, and work on improving your life—for real.

5. Stop competing

Take a moment t’ think before you post. Who are you trying to impress or please? Odd are that the people or person you are trying to “get back at” or attract won’t even care about what you post online. It’s not a beauty pageant, and it’s not a popularity contest. Life is beautiful, so stop wasting time in the virtual world of one-upmanship.

6. Take a social media break

Every now and then, take an entire week off from social media. This may sound crazy at first, but I’m smack in the middle of a two-week Facebook fast and I love it. It’s extremely liberating to step back and focus on your real, actual life, just letting the Facebook alerts pile up for a while. Don’t fret—it will all be there waiting to aggravate you when you log back in.

7. Swap out your social media time

Find a new activity to replace the time you generally waste obsessing over social media pages. Get busy volunteering or learn to cook—you get the idea. As corny as it may sound, we are all wasting precious time online when we could be enriching ourselves. Simply reading a great book or calling a friend and talking—you know, the old-fashioned way—could be healthier options to scrolling and getting annoyed.

In the end, social media can, of course, be a helpful tool for reconnecting with friends and family. Just be aware of the perils of spending too much time there in the vortex of envy.

[vodka-redbull-daily]

October 29th, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

The men in B----- are so different from the men in A------. I've only been here for 3 days, well really only two since I came in so late on the first day.  I logged on as soon as I had my computer set up in my room. right off the bat, there were a few people interested in me. So many people liking my profile, messaging me.  That seemed pretty standard, however, since I was a new face and in a new place.  The surprising amount of men that were actually online at that time of night sent a message or two back and forth with me and I even made plans with a few of them. There were a few people who mysteriously disappeared after a few messages. it's unclear whether they blocked me cuz I didn't like what I had to say, or they ended up getting banned because they were a scammer.

the thing about the men here, though.  they're much more sentimental. or, at least they seem that way. much older men. many more men who are looking for a long-term Arrangement rather than a quick hookup. they're even a few men who, with the understanding that I'm  only here for a week, still want to try and make a long-term relationship last. I'm not opposed to this, if I really like the guy. I'm not opposed to it if I really need the money. All In all, the first night had mediocre success.

Over the course of the next day, I talked at length with a guy who said he would want to take me out that night. He honestly seems like a kind of an asshole.  His profile gets off douchebag vibes. He's incredibly condescending, won't hold a conversation unless he has the upper hand, I keep sending me links to Wikipedia articles  instead of Simply answering my questions. He said he was going to lunch with someone and that we can meet up afterwards. I told him I just wanted to go for a walk to look at all the leaves and take pictures to send to the People Back Home. he was acting really coy and aloof, so I didn't bring up sex or payment.  Insteadad, I meekly asked what we would be doing after the walk. He said dinner. I don't know if that meant dinner and sex  and therefore payment, or just dinner like some of these guys like to do. I took a nap and when I woke up, it was close to 6:00. Apparently his lunch had run that long and you changed his mind about seeing me.  he hasn't said anything to me today, so I guess I wasn't that interesting to him.

along with this guy, I'm at several other people that I added to my calendar. I texted so many guys my account was briefly marked as spam. All day Saturday was dedicated to catching up on sleep and chatting up These men. I tried to leave space at the end of the week, so they would actually have time to do things. but, so far, Sunday through Tuesday were completely booked.

but that's when I noticed how weird and clingy these men were. so many of them asked repeatedly to call me. I understand, this is a way to verify that the person you're talking to is real rather than a bot, but it is honestly unnerving to have an old man call you. I don't actually like these guys. I don't actually want to have a relationship with you. The men in A------ seem to understand that. they're not delusional that I actually like their profile because I liked them. especially if I had only been in A------ for a week. they would have never assumed that I wanted to be on the phone with him for an hour. Which is what happened with one guy. He was really insistent on us calling each other, kept saying it would only be a 5-minute long conversation. just a quick chat. Instead, he held me  captive on the phone for an hour.  I kept saying how I hadn't had dinner yet, how I needed to go, but he didn't care. It was also quite a difficult task trying to understand his accent over the grainy, disgusting sound of Bluetooth audio in the car.

He was the only one asking to talk, too.  There was a man who called me out of the blue, didn't even have to contact saved to my phone yet. He talked in a very creepy voice, very annoying, very nasally, also very condescending. These men are pretty awful at holding a conversation. the last few the most basic, small talk questions, then follow it up with the most explicit shit you've ever heard.  This man on the phone wanted to come over that night, which I wasn't opposed to, except that he wanted to only pay $140. Absolutely ridiculous. I offer 200. He said he would think about it.  It's now Sunday night and I haven't heard back from him.

it cost me $100 to get an Uber to my airbnb. The plan was to take the train from the airport, but the airplane got in too late. My flight was delayed because of the storm that was in A------.  so, I Won't Say I'm completely reliant on these men to actually enjoy my vacation, but I am getting quite stressed out that I haven't actually gotten anything accomplished yet. I want to go out and see the city, to go do things, to buy little things for my friends. instead, I've spent two full days here and haven't left the Airbnb. I used most of the last time money to get food and toiletries. I had two separate appointments scheduled for today. one very early on in the day. we had actually planned for last night, but I'm so far from everything. The Uber to get to him would have been $50. He said he could drive to my place this morning, but had to cancel at the last minute.  something about his kid and the baby mama…

I didn't ask because it was my business. I was nervous about meeting up with him, anyway. Unlike the men in A------,  most everyone around here seems to want to meet up for a whole afternoon. It's not like that time I was able to schedule three different appointments in one day. people here are loose, they don't give certain timelines, they want to spend the whole day together. which would be fine. if we were actually going out and doing things, actually being shown around, and I actually liked them, that's what I would want. if I was here with somebody I wanted, I would have come with… 

him

not only did he want to stay here for what seems like quite a long time and I had another appointment scheduled for that night, he was also a sub. so many of these old men are into the BDSM stuff. it's whatever. it doesn't matter that much to me. The thing is, even though I have switch in my profile, I'm not going to be one of these crazy dominatrixes that they expect. He was talking about tying into a chair, making him cry out in pain. That's not who I am. I can be dominant, I can take control of the situation, but I don't like people being in pain. I'd much rather see them in pleasure. I'd much rather hear that sigh or groan Escape their lips. feel them twitch and writhe underneath me. I don't mind grabbing them by the throat,  holding them down, pretending I ever had a fighting chance against them. I don't like the idea of hurting anyone, though.

He wanted to pay me $300.

I needed that $300.

My other appointment for  tonight also had to cancel.  He wants to see me all week, for hours at a time. He wants to pay me $250 a visit, but since he said that he wanted to visit me multiple times, maybe every single day, I said that was okay. If I only saw him four times, that would be $1,000 already. He had to cancel. He was hosting for some Canadians or something like that. said that whatever they were doing head around a little long and he couldn't get to me in time. it would be too late in the night for him. I guess I picked an interview that was way too far away for most people's liking. He said we can meet tomorrow.

and I had another appointment scheduled for tomorrow at noon. He canceled on me, too. too far away. I get it, but also I was relying on that. He wanted to give me $200. annoying, but reasonable. so at this point of my planning, I would have already had $550. Instead, I'm down to $20 in my bank account. The thought of calling up that guy who offered me $140 is very strong, but he really seemed like an asshole and I don't want to have my address. 

I haven't gotten the chance to do anything at all. to be fair, I did sleep  for a lot of the time these past few days. but I was incredibly tired. my other problem, though is that I'm broke as fuck right now.  if even one of these appointments had gone through, I could have done something. I could have just taken the train anywhere. I hate the feeling of wasting my vacation. I also have that tattoo scheduled for thursday. my paycheck comes through on wednesday, so that should be fine, but that's so long to wait. my vacation will almost be over by the time I have money again if none of these appointments work out. I want to cry. I don't necessarily like any of these men like I like a few of the guys in austin. At least in A----- I like talking to those guys.

which has been another incredibly stressful part of the situation. The guys from A------ are still texting me. because of course they are. That's kind of part of the deal. and I do like to talk to them. the problem is, there's just too many. There are so many people that I can't keep up with who's who. I mean, of course I know all the A------ men, but all of these B------ guys are getting confused and lost in my brain. and they're also clingy and they all want me to text them and call them immediately. they all want to go out on these long dates, actually do romantic shit. Again, if I had actually liked the guy and I was back in A------, that's what I would want, too.  but I want to explore the City by myself. I don't want to be held down by these old men and have to do what they want to do.

I mean, I wouldn't actually like to be by myself.

but he's not here and he doesn't like me.

so just forget about it.

it's better to be by myself.

The guy that talked to me for an hour on the phone kept asking me what I wanted to do in the city. every time you ask me, I would tell him that I really don't know. I don't know what's around the city, I don't know what's going on here.  I mentioned that I want to go to S----, but I'm waiting until after Halloween for that. I mentioned I want to go to an ice rink and he very helpfully informed me that those aren't open yet. apparently, even indoor ice rinks aren't open until it gets cold outside, which is fucking stupid if you ask me.  I brought my skates all the way up here for nothing. Besides, he seemed really annoyed that I even suggested going skating. Which is the whole thing. I don't want to go out and do all these old man things. I want to go out and do things I want to do. I would love to just go to a bar and fucking get wasted and make out with a pretty girl or something. something a 25 year old would do. Instead, I have to pretend like I'm into these old men. I have to pretend like they're the ones that are making me wet and not that I'm just always turned on. I have to sit there and sext with them  pretending to be interested in their boring ass conversation.  I don't mind sleeping with them. it's not my favorite. I would definitely prefer…

Some of them are bad at sex, anyway. Some of them are mean.  Most of them don't give a shit about how I'm enjoying myself. every single one has asked me to give them a blowjob which I fucking hate so much.  blowjobs are not fun to give. porn has completely ruined the men's perception of how much fun it is to give a blowjob.  What is fun, what actually turns me on and is actually a good part of sex, is when you really enjoy your partner's company. when you love every single inch of their body. when you  run your tongue along the shaft, slowly playing with the tip before putting your lips around it,  because you like to see the reaction it has on your partner's face. when I ran my fingers on the inside of his thigh,  hearing his breath Quicken and that little gasp,  the little kisses I would plant on delicate areas.

I'm going to make myself cry again. 

I think about him when I masturbate.

Sure, occasionally someone new enters the picture who really catches my fancy, but he's still always there.  whether I picture him at the beginning, then it changes to someone else at the end, vice versa, or when I'm incredibly horny and picture him and maybe another man teaming up to make me scream in pleasure. He's always there in some capacity.

I don't like to give blowjobs.

And he didn't ask me to.

I did it because I liked him.

because I like to watch him enjoy himself.

because I like to hear him enjoy himself.

because I like the fact that he enjoyed me. 

Total Earned: $1,800

Body Count: 8

Dick Pics: 10

Sex Ranking:

B------

Him

T-----

P------

R--

T------

D--

M---

[giantroboticplatypusbutt218]

Losing my mind. Ugh...

Xfinity just loves to be a dick, huh? First they barely notify me that they plan to deduct 5$ from my billing discount if I don't switch from my card to my bank account number by a certain date, that date being only hours away from when I finally saw the email warning me. Apparently they sent an email like a month earlier, but it didn't look much different from all the fucking spam they send me.

Then, when I'm racing against the clock to put in my information, the site is running so fucking slowly. Dear god it was quicker to watch Youtube on my PC by picking up the mobile wi-fi from my mom's phone than it was to wade through a sea of links to get through the billing settings. Worse yet, the site would just not fucking load pages or give me an error sometimes.

Then while putting in my info, which involved swapping from my bank's page to Xfinity's page frequently and not taking any breaks because both would log you off for inactivity, I go to click the option for set my payment information, and it gives me a fucking error! So I go to redo the whole fucking process, and it wouldn't let me access the page! There are like minutes left until I'm screwed at this point.

I somehow managed to get back to the information page, put my info in AGAIN, and actually get Xfinity to accept my new payment method this time. It takes too long, but I also went back and confirmed it had saved my payment information.

So, things are good from there, right? HAHA. NOPE!

Thanks to my newfound paranoia from Xfinity's payment method jumpscare, I somewhat started to manage checking my email daily. Well, I saw that my payment went through and it was the correct amount, which is good! However, I didn't get an email saying my checking account was below 50.00, which it should have been if the payment went through.

Well, I figured that since my bank's online stuff runs a bit funky, it would be fine to just relax and wait a bit longer for the notification. But later, since I had a doctor's appointment the next day, I decided to check my bank account to double check I had the funds for any copays. Yeah so 3AM is not a great time to see that the payment probably didn't actually go through, at least not on my account. So like, I go to Xfinity's site to make sure I put in the right information, and after wading through the same bullshit again, I learn that I literally can't look at my full bank account number to verify I typed it in correctly.

Needless to say, it was too late to be dealing with that shit, and there literally wasn't anything I could do about it at that moment, so I decided I'd figure out what the hell's going on and maybe try to fix it after my doctor's appointment.

Yeah, so, I woke up at around 2 PM and the appointment was around 3 PM and after we got out sometimes after 4 PM my mom and I had a lot of stuff to do and we didn't get home until around like 7 PM. I relaxed a bit and then checked my bank. Yep. Transaction's still not there. And to add insult to injury, the next day was a national holiday, it wasn't like I could do anything about it then.

Checked my bank on the holiday, and yep. Payment's still not there. As if I wasn't insulted enough, Xfinity sends an email asking me to take a survey about my recent payment and if I'd recommend that payment method to friends and family.

I wouldn't even recommend Xfinity to friends and family.

[robinvoyager]

Writing Log #5: Writing in Digital Studies versus Analog

Today, I am going to be talking about how digital affordances and constraints have influenced how I write. Sadly, there won’t be much time for Parseltongue or Joker impressions, so I apologize if that’s what you’re here for.

When I read the excerpt from Understanding Digital Literacies, the biggest thing that stood out to me actually showed up early on in the text. It said: “[Digital media] allows us to participate in many practices simultaneously - we can work and study and shop and hold conversations with any number of people at the same time.” (Jones, Hafner 13) When I think about this, and how it relates to our modern society, the one word that kept coming to my mind is tabs. Now, as I’m sure you’re all aware, tabs are the clickable areas at the top of your computer window that lead you to different sites. It’s a system that we really take for granted in our day-to-day lives … which is kind of amazing when you think about it! Can you imagine telling someone in the 1960s that one day … you’d be able to file your tax return, listen to the newest and hottest album, book dinner reservations, and say hello to your friend all at the same time on a device that fits into your pocket?

Tabs are, more or less, a metaphor for how we live our lives, aren’t they? Digital affordances have presented us with the opportunity to be in multiple places at once. In some ways, it’s a good thing; it’s certainly made our lives more convenient and Like Christoph Hagner and Rodney Jones said, the Internet isn’t just a singular entity; “it’s a range of practices, software and hardware technologies, and modes of representation of interaction.” (Jones, Hafner 13) The term “surfing the web” is almost phasing out from our world because of how ambiguous it is. When someone says that they’re surfing the web … what exactly do they mean by that? Are they asking Google random questions? Are they shopping online? Are they reading the news? Are they watching a livestream? Are they talking with someone on Twitter? Are they doing all of those things? Are they doing none of those things? That’s the kind of environment that our digital affordances have created for us.

So, with that being said, how does this translate into how I write? The basic answer is that I have different styles that I employ in different situations … regardless of whether someone is behind a screen or staring straight at me. How I write an email to my boss is different from how I’d text my mom which is different from how I’d respond to someone who left a negative comment on my Reddit post. But, that’s not really unique; everyone does that. On my blog, how I get my points across is a little more complicated:

The person who looks at my blog the most is the professor of this class; this person has power over my grades which can impact my final grade in this class which can impact the progress in my degree which could potentially impact my finances and so on and so forth. So, whenever I write here, I try to make sure that everything is as professional and easy to read as possible. I clearly label my blog posts so it’s easy to navigate and I try to avoid informal language like swearing or slang. However, I’m also not beyond including elements in my blog posts that aren’t strictly professional … but do add to the content and make it more engaging.

I didn’t have to include photos of the authors I chose to study in Week Two, but I did because I thought it would be more visually appealing than a long block of text.

I didn’t have to color code my visual literacy thoughts, but I did it because I thought that it would represent where my thinking was more clearly.

I also didn’t have to crop and cut the image in my visual literacy journal to show exactly what I was talking about, but I did it because I thought that the reader could then look at what I was saying, see it in the pictures, and then say: “Oh, yeah. I can see how he’d think that.”

Now … as for whether any of this is “professional” is up for debate. I believe that what I’ve done on my blog still maintains a level of professionality to it and I’ve gotten good feedback on it.

I wonder what these blog posts would look like if I wasn’t allowed to use any digital format. What if I had to compose my thoughts the way they did in “the olden days” with a pencil and lined paper? I could still color code my text and include images onto the page … but I don’t know if it’d look as professional as it does on a digital landscape…

WORKS CITED

Jones, Rodney and Christoph Hafner. Understanding Digital Literacies, pg. 13-14

[storychanger-blog1]

Welcome to my madness (enjoy the ride)

I'm going to start doing blogs. I haven't decided if I should do two types of logs one type of blog I don't now but what I do know is I'm going to try to use these blogs:

1. Tell people how my day is going when I don't feel like talking

2. Put some information about what I am working on or what I will be working on

3. Write poems and other mediums specifically stories short stories and long stories I haven't decided yet

4. To tell you something that is genuinely messed up in my opinion but try to tell y'all it in a funny way

5. (maybe) Tell you my opinion on a very controversial subject or a random subject

those are the goals of these blogs frankly I don't care if people follow me. It would be cool if it did but I'm also realistic and I know some people reading blogs isn't someone's idea of things. However, if people decide to read my blogs here are some rules for you that I am going to stick by.

1. I will never apologize for what I have said in the past especially if I was younger and the culture was different. You will never get me to apologize about something, especially if at the time it was funny. I will also not be apologizing if I was speaking my opinion on a matter because it's my opinion you have no right to tell me whether or not it's right especially considering a lot of my opinions if I post them I have you see my process and my thought process. Even if I decide to tell you my opinions on these I'll give you evidence of why I believe these things and my interpretation of the information I gave you I will never give you an opinion without proof to back up my opinion(hopefully I never have to argue with someone over this let's keep our fingers crossed) and if I ever change my opinion on a certain matter I might talk about and explain why my opinion has changed that's if I decide to speak on certain things in my opinions on it

2. I will never start an online war with someone on my blogs. That is the lowest saying a content creator can do is to start a war with someone and try to get their followers or whatever to go attack someone. I will never do that to someone and I expect them to never do that to me. If I do talk bad about anyone it is just how I feel at the moment I type it and at the moment when the post is written. And if I have a bad opinion about something or someone I don't want anyone to attack them if anything I want them to get to know them and if they come up with the same opinion as me they'll understand why

3. I will never docs anyone unless I have permission and they give me the information they are comfortable giving. Having said that I expect the same thing from others I do not want to be doxed. But even if I do get doxed which please don't I don't care because if you're out there to hurt me cool I don't have to do blogs anymore or I don't have to be doing things anymore but if you just want to get to know me cool friends but I would like privacy but again please don't talk to me

now with all the formalities out of the way, I am currently debating whether or not to stay in college for my engineering degree or to switch my majors to literature, or just drop out of school in general work until I'm 21. Get my CDL and just blog write and drive for a good portion of my life until I'm 25 and going into the military. Some people might think why don't you go into the military now well that's because I want to live my life as a civilian for a little bit and then get into Peak health so I can serve my nation. On the other hand, people might be asking why I want to join the military and it's just because I have this sense of serving others some people might say" if you want to serve others why don't you just go ahead and be a waiter or work in customer service" and to that, I say one fuck you and two I do not have enough patience to deal with rude people.  I know in the military I'm going to be dealing with drill sergeants who are going to yell and cuss me out and mentally break me down but I also know why they're doing that. They're mainly doing that to weed out the weak and those who cannot serve our nation to the best of their abilities so that's something people need to understand. Another thing that makes me want to go into the military is I have a long history within my family of men and women joining the Armed Forces so already I feel connected to the military.

(By the way, these are just my thoughts I'm saying organically if you want to be influenced by what I'm saying cool if you don't cool I genuinely don't care.)

I don't know what I'm going to do with my future and hopefully, these blogs can guide me and guide my thoughts and thought process on the subject (if people comment on it cool if people don't cool I don't care)

In any case, if I have to title this I guess I would have to title it  Welcome to my madness (enjoy the ride)

[veritazzzs]

The thing about Chinese Games

I'm the kind of person who plays every single game offered on Google Play, no kidding. Whenever I try out a "new" game I found I already have an account registered. 😲

Recently I've been trying out 5 new games and I'm terribly disappointed.

I don't know if you ever tried out those Chinese games most of the times they are about wuxia (武俠) or xianxia (仙俠). However, while they are divided in two genres game developers nowadays can't even figure out the difference btwn those two. Those lame games lead me to wonder why I worked off my a** to learn Chinese for the last couple of years. (If you wanna know the difference between the two check out the bottom of this post.)

So I've been playing a game called 逍遙幻夢. Super bad, I beg you NOT to play it.

1. Copy & Paste

So one thing I have been seeing these years is game companies making these wuxia games with "boilerplates." Indicating they all:

look the same

have same concepts

have same missions

As a long-time gamer, I'm rolling my eyes when a "new" game comes out. Bruh you are just switching up the names. (They are the true programmers, fellow programmers u know what I'm talking about: StackOverflow)

2. Game Companies are grifters

This is actually something quite new and only starts happening in about 2 years. What they do is using these "boiler templates" and make u pay up for digital coins. And they will liquify their assets and shut down their company; best case scenario 3 years, worst case scenario 1-year max. While games in the past still allow you to play without having to pay, the games around 2020 ~ 2022 (and possibly forever) , start asking you for money for everything.

Game Company: You see this dope ring weapon here? Player: Yeah, so I need to level up to get it right? Game Company: Oh about that... It's paid to get! Player: ... Game Company: Surprise, surprise!!!

So now when you see a top 10 player hovering past you stop awing and say

"Woah man you must have skillz."

I'm not sure about that, honey. Switch it up to this.

"Woah man you rich!"

3. Maintenance every. single. day

While I'm totally fine with the pay2play stuff cauz I never throw money in games, these game companies can't even do the bare minimum and that is KEEPING THE GAME ONLINE.

Believe me, the game I'm trying out literally closed an entire day, I can't log in not to say enter the game. The game company updated on their page SORRY BUT OUR GAME CRASHED :( after 2 FRAKING HOURS. Look honey that's why you should learn programming to make a game alright? And at least if your programmers suck get some good public relations team.

MORAL: Look like its time to go back to SIMS 4.

Difference between Wuxia and Xianxia

Wuxia 武俠 (=Oliver Queen)

Let's learn some Chinese first:

武 = military

俠 = vigilante (kind of like Oliver Queen?)

Most of the times (in wuxia novels) there will be a male protagonist and he will meet a lot of cute girls during the way and he's gonna have a harem. He got all the luck, talk about affirmation man, true manifester. 🤗 There will always be a nun, apparently nuns are hot. Also the guys will have beards and are mostly topless. :(

Xianxia 仙俠 (=Flash?)

仙 = fairies (winxclub without wings)

(no idea what this game is)

In games, they wear too much and they love pastel colors: white, violet, light blue...

In novels they wear flowy clothes that looks like they are freezing any time. Also the male protagonist has to be either: born royal, lord of entire realm, tier 0..... (you get it the Wattpad males) Some of them will have white hair.

TL;DR:

Wuxia (武俠) -> Don't have super extravagant superpowers, but they have dope combat skills + a tiny bit of extra flare

Xianxia (仙俠) -> Superpowers! Elsa, Flash,

[cherryslushy]

for the 80´s asks!! the goonies, the outsiders, back to the future & pretty in pink???

the goonies: what was the last thing to make you laugh?

my dad met me and my family for dinner at a restaurant so we decided to split cars and race home (my dad and i won) and we were both laughing maniacally as we got the green light and they got the red one.

the outsiders: why is your best friend your best friend?

( @shinozaki-ayumi / @ayumistudies ) she’s the perfect amount of edgy and normal and also will listen to me talk nonstop about christian slater ALSO we can talk to each other about just about anything i love her sm (ilygf i even tagged u

back to the future: which decade in the last century would you most have liked to live in?

this is SO HARD for me bc i have two fav decades!!! i think i would end up choosing the 80s bc i loved the whole aesthetic of asymmetric furniture and bright colors and shoulder pads plus, that way, i can experience 60s stuff as nostalgia as that’s my other fav decade!

pretty in pink: what’s your signature ‘look’?

no idea tbh, it changes so often!! i think a preferred thing about my look is i always wear some sort of black shoes + jeggings for the most part. i wore my fav outfit today which was a sick asf denim shirt with roses on the back along with my fav combat boots so that is def a look for me!!

ffs i just found this in my drafts how long has it been there

[iwadori]

Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.

Word Count:3k 

genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.

Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,

Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time

“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.

Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?

Y/N: Of course I will 

Kenma: Ok talk to you later

Y/N: okayy <3

Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 

You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.

As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.

You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..

@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr

“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.

You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?

You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 

Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,

Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?

Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?

Kenma: y/n r u ok??

Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..

Kenma: oh ok..

Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 

You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.

You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.

However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 

So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.

“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice

“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”

“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 

“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”

“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”

“What why?” Asked Kenma

Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 

“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”

“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo

You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.

“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”

“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him

“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”

You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”

Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 

He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 

“What are you do-” you start 

“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak

 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”

You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”

“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 

“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk

Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 

Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.

Kuroo:

Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 

You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)

Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.

20%

You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.

This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.

As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 

“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 

“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 

“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.

Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 

His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.

You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.

Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?

Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??

Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 

Y/N: Pleaseeee

Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help

Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 

So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 

“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked

“umm... COO?” 

“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not

You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.

“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”

“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.

“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks

“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”

“Y/N I-” he starts 

“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off

“But I-” he tries

“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words

“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.

Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 

You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,

Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 

Kuroo: Good luck Y/N

You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.

Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.

When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.

“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.

“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say

“Kuroo”

“Y/N”

You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”

Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.

“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 

Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.

“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling

In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.

AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?

[dailykoreanpop]

TikToker Under Fire For Making Racist Gestures And Condescending Remarks To ATEEZ At Their Fanmeet

She allegedly mocked their English speaking abilities.

A Russian TikTok influencer has become the center of mass controversy for her racist and condescending behavior at a recent ATEEZ fan event.

After having moved to South Korea not too long ago, TikTok user @just_2alina (name Alina Sharanova) began to gain popularity for her K-Pop dance covers and other K-Pop related videos. The influencer, who boasts over 124,000 followers on TikTok, was always praised for her dance covers but in the most recent news, she has found herself in an ugly situation.

A few days ago, ATEEZ held a fan meeting event, which proved itself to be a rare opportunity for real fans due to the limited 30 spots that were available. The intimate meeting should have been filled with heartwarming interactions, but a recent TikTok video featuring none other than Alina Sharanova has started to go viral on Twitter due to her condescending and racist behavior.

According to different Twitter users, the TikToker can allegedly be heard asking some rude questions to some of the ATEEZ members, while mocking their English speaking abilities.

Her attacks against Mingi didn’t end there, as she was also heard telling him to spend his time “learning English.”

Following her rude remarks and questions about Mingi‘s English, it was reported that the ATEEZ member participated in the rest of the fan meet looking down in his spirits.

I am worried about Mingi. He didn’t say a word for the whole time, was sitting there silently, nodded a few times and didn’t even smile. I wouldn’t too after your words.

— English translation provided by @babieteez/Twitter

In another clip, the TikToker allegedly accused an ATEEZ’s Wooyoung of “imitating Jimin,” while backhandedly praising him for finally finding his “own style.”

However, this is not all. @just_2alina took her rude behavior a step further by making a racist gesture targeted towards the Asian population. Following the conclusion of the ATEEZ fan event, she logged on to Instagram live to discuss her thoughts on the fan meeting. It was here that Alina made the racist slanted eye gesture while expressing her surprise regarding “how big” San‘s eyes were in real life.

However, this is not the TikToker’s first controversy. Previously, the dancer came under fire after recording herself throwing away boxes of ATEEZ albums and merchandise. At a gas station, @Just_2alina can be seen happily dancing, while throwing away all of the ATEEZ goods.

Following the uploads, it didn’t take long for all of the clips to spread online, as Alina’s racist, rude, and condescending behavior spread like wildfire. ATINYs (ATEEZ fans) all over the world banded together to heavily criticize the TikToker for her behavior.

The TikToker has since apologized for her actions, but has been met with even more backlash from ATEEZ fans. You can read @just_2alina‘s apology down below.

It is Sharonova Alina. First of all, I SINCERELY want to APOLOGIZE for all this situation about fan sign event and about my Insta-live in which you saw one of racist gesture. Though I have been interested in Asia for more than 10 years and have been living in asian already for more than 5 years, I did not know how serious meaning this gesture have. My friends immediately let me know it after they saw first posts. I HAVE NEVER BE A RACIST and never intended to offend someone who is not same nationality with me. I have friends all over the world and the biggest part of them are Asian, whom I regard a lot. I am so sorry for using this gesture thoughtlessly and hurt your feeling! I swear from this moment I will carefully think about each gesture and word.

All of you are mad with me for those comments on video that I added in moments nothing can be heard. (IT WAS NOT THE THINGS I TOLD! NEVER! IT WAS ONLY COMMENTARY OF SITUATION THAT IS GOING ON SCREEN, NOT MY WORDS TO BOYS!)

I do not deny that in video I could use some words in Russian language that have dual meaning. I want to explain for people who do know not know Russian that our language have many words that are frequently used in everyday life, but they can become rude and offensive in some situation.

I SWEAR absolutely all comments were made without any intention of offending any ATEEZ member, KQ Entertainment staff and etc. I did not expect Russian people would take it as an insult towards the boys and spread it into fandom like I had an intention of offending ATEEZ. I am really sorry for misunderstanding and this situation. I am not searching for your excuse, but just want to let everybody know that ATEEZ means a lot in my life and I will never offend/insult/abuse on purpose. They are a huge part of my world and for me saying bad about them is same as abusing myself.

— Alina Sharonova @AlinaMin98/Twitter

Credit: Koreaboo