#however i aint going to the doctor nwo abour my mental health consider how often i have to go jsut about my physical health
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I better get a girlfriend at uni or what's the point
#the fact ive lived this long to be the only person i know personally who hasnt even had their first kiss yet#it's pathetic#because i do try#however i do not knwo how to flirt#fuck i dont even know hwo to talk to new people let alone flirt with them#its the clear mental illness that never got sorted cause my mum refused to let me see a doctor as a kid#cause she was scared id end up as mentally ill as my brother#which dude has an impressive list of issues#except it just means i have a full on breakdown and cant speak irl for a week if i have to make one phonecall#and breakdown crying when i find out somewhere cares at all about me#however i aint going to the doctor nwo abour my mental health consider how often i have to go jsut about my physical health#im at that point tho wher its liek im too old to have literally zero experience in anyone even liking ke#liek i dont think im ugly i think im actually quite pretty#so clearly I'm just that annoying that noone wants to date me#hopefully im irresistible to the English#cause being the only single person in your friend group#literal fucking hell#especially when your friends girlfriend tries to tell you the only reason you are single is cause you dont try hard enough#like dude its actually probably cause i physically cannot have a conversation with someone new without forgetting how to literally speak#so they always think there is something wrong with me#which there may well be but i dont knwo cause the closest i got to a diagnosis was the lady on camhs telling me the reason i couldn't sleep#was anxiety#but then i never went back cause my dad was too bsuy to be able to drive me to appointments#i domt mean to sound attention seeking when i say i genuinely think i am not mentally okay#but i cannot afford a therapist and its only free with the nhs if your suicidal and willing to wait 2 years
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