#however I have full faith in us and am very excited about this

[starkid-innit]

Starkid Innit Friendship Bracelets

A PSA to everybody going to starkid innit, after hearing people’s thoughts the consensus on dress codes seems to be wear whatever you want and cosplay is encouraged

However I've also decided I'm going to officially declare project friendship bracelet a GO

(yes we are full on stealing this from the swifties but opportunities for a big UK starkid event don't come around very often and I'm determined to make the most of it)

So hopefully we'll get lots of people making cute (or unhinged) friendship bracelets and we can all share/trade them at the concert and it will all be very cute and please can we actually make this happen?

I'm counting on people to commit to this otherwise I'm going to feel like a right idiot, but it would be fantastic if loads of people got involved!

Also if you could help me to spread the word that'd be fab. I'll do my best but I have made a grand total of 20 tweets and 0 tiktoks in my time lol

Thanks for all your support, I can't wait to see what you all make, and I leave you with this inspiring image of this afternoon's creation:

[dalishious]

My Five Biggest Fears for Dragon Age: Dreadwolf

Dragon Age: Dreadwolf is highly anticipated by BioWare fans. At one point, I would consider myself to be excited for it too, however, unfortunately the long wait with zero information about the game has only wrecked my personal anticipation. Will my hype return once we actually start to get some regular news about the game? Most likely. But until that time comes, all I find myself doing is just… worrying.

These are the five biggest things I worry about.

5. Big, beautiful maps of nothing

In both Dragon Age: Inquisition and Mass Effect: Andromeda, most of the open world maps are very… empty. Instead of creating an adventurous feeling of excitement to explore, it just makes travelling those maps a tedious task. Games like The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim or the new Baldur’s Gate 3 have open maps too, but those developers actually made use of their space with level designs. Skyrim is full of caves, ruins, etc. content to stumble upon. So is BG3, as well as introducing new dynamics to a fight depending on which direction you approach the encounter from. These games prove an understanding of how to best equip an open world concept that BioWare has only executed in a few maps across both their most recent RPGs. I do not want to see Dragon Age: Dreadwolf be yet another case of luscious forests where developers spent far too much time making look visually beautiful, and not enough time actually filling with game content.

4. Shoddy attempts at retcon

For those of you who don’t know what “retcon” means, it is short for “retroactive continuity”, and refers to the phenomenon of fiction introducing new information that is inconsistent with past information. The purpose is to revise old material. Dragon Age: Inquisition had more than one attempts at retcon that were terribly executed. For example, the player is told not once, not twice, but three different times—as if repeating it enough will erase all the extensive lore up to that point saying otherwise—that the Dalish get rid of their mages if they have “too many”. This is despite the previous games and extended materials showing that the Dalish practically revere their mages.

Now, not all retcons are bad. For example, in Marvel Comics, the superhero Karma’s real name was recently retconned to be Xuân Cao Mạnh, a real Vietnamese name, after spending years and years with the made-up Vietnamese name, Xi'an Coy Man. This is an example of how retons can be used for a good purpose, like fixing a long-lasting mistake. But what exactly is the mistake in saying the Dalish are good people who don’t hate mages like most of Thedas? That was just a cheap, transparent excuse to villainize both elves and mages further.

Cheap, transparent excuses like that make me lose faith in BioWare’s writing. It concerns me with what other lore they view as needing “correcting” in order to reinforce their idea of Grey Morality™ where it doesn’t belong.

3. Imposter characters

One of the biggest grievances I had with Dragon Age: Inquisition, was how the Hawke written in that game was in no way the same Hawke I played in Dragon Age II. I understand that it would be impossible to capture the exact customized character, but the Hawke in DA:I was placed into the game with an anti-blood magic agenda, and wouldn’t shut up about it. This is hilarious, considering how many players chose to make their Hawke a blood mage personally!

With this in mind, I am terrified that my Inquisitor, who will very likely make an appearance in Dragon Age: Dreadwolf, will be used for whatever new agenda needs to be pushed. I better not hear a single anti-Dalish comment from my Lavellan, is all I’m saying.

2. Whitewashing ahoy

For all the talk about #diversity values, BioWare has a very extensive criminal record when it comes to whitewashing their own characters. Almost every single one of their most prominent visibly non-white characters have had their skin lightened or completely washed out, as well as ethnic features erased, at some point or another. This is why I cannot share any excitement or desire for existing characters to make a return; the fear that we’ll have to see Zevran next looking like Chris Hemsworth next haunts me too much.

But this particular fear runs even deeper than individual characters. Why? Because we know that Dragon Age: Dreadwolf will be taking place in northern Thedas, which up to this point has been consistently depicted as having largely non-white demographics. I’m not saying there are no white people in Tevinter, Antiva, etc., but I am saying that if I see the same mix of 80% pale tones and 20% “everyone else” we’ve gotten from the last three games, I will absolutely flip shit. White characters should be in the minority for a change. Otherwise, what is the point of shifting focus away from the dominantly white countries in the first place?

1. This will end of the Dragon Age franchise

Is this the most likely to happen of all fears? No; it is probably the least. But after the pathetic failure that was Anthem and the lacklustre response to Mass Effect: Andromeda, I would not be surprised if BioWare is on thin ice in EA’s eyes. (Which is ironic, considering the demands made by EA to chase after multiplayer fads and micro-transactions are what got BioWare into such a mess in the first place.) Electronic Arts is a garbage company run by garbage people. That much has been proven time and again. The executives behind BioWare itself aren’t clean, either. Unfortunately it will be average employee that suffers the most punishment and blame if the game does not meet the likely very high standards set out for it. In some ways, they are almost set up to fail.

It’s not fair, and there’s not we can really do about it, because the gaming industry is run by selfish idiots. It’s because of this that if events come to pass that the Dragon Age franchise was put “on hold indefinitely” so BioWare can work on clunking out an Anthem sequel, I would be very upset, but not very surprised.

-----

Times are really tough for me, and all my patron supporters are greatly appreciated! If you like my work, please consider becoming one yourself, and I'll be forever grateful!

[isildur-apologist]

You don’t hate Amazon you hate the Silmarillion: a genuine review of Rings of Power

It’s no secret that overall I liked RoP. I watched it with my roommate who gets very hyped about stuff like that and it made for a really exciting viewing experience, instead of the more bitter perspective I might have taken if I watched it alone. But, I also know there are some real faults with the show, I never thought it was perfect and know it’s not on par with the the LOTR movies and I never expected it to be. But, the fault for that is not on Amazon.

(I want to note that I am not defending Amazon. I hate Amazon. Jeff Bezos can catch this guillotine. I am, however, defending the creative team behind the show, which is how I will refer to them from here on out, I only called it Amazon to grab your attention. )

Here’s my point though, almost every (valid) critique I see of this show isn’t a problem with decisions the creative team made, it’s an inherent problem in any adaptation of the Silmarillion (and associated works but I’m just going to refer to the Silmarillion for brevity’s sake).

The Silmarillion, as full and detailed as it is, is a shit story. The events of the second age do not fit neatly into a clean story structure the way LOTR does because it’s not supposed to. The Silmarillion isn’t a story, it’s a history, and history is never narratively satisfying. Tolkien (Jirt, not talking about Christopher here) didn’t publish the Silmarillion in his lifetime, he only even published LOTR and the hobbit, everything else attributed to him was published after his death. He had no intent of making the other works anything other than a comprehensive history of the world he made for documentation’s sake, never with intent to publish. He didn’t even compile all the writings, Christopher did.

Because if this, the Silmarillion is really hard to adapt for a number of reasons:

1. Elves aren’t good main characters.

Elves aren’t supposed to be relatable characters, they’re aloof and static and inherently non-relatable (There are exceptions but they’re usually not regular elves. Elrond is half elven, Legolas is very young). Humans and hobbits are the relatable characters through which we view the world, because they can have human flaws and conflicts, which makes for a very human story. To make elves the main characters you need to make them interesting characters, and elves aren’t supposed to have human flaws, and so you either stay faithful and they don’t feel relatably human, or you change their to be more human and it feels disingenuous to what we know elves to be like. It’s a lose lose.

2. Middle earth is not supposed to be pretty.

A huge part of LOTR is realizing every place they visit is either the ruins of a past, much larger civilization, or a city that is a fraction of what it used to be (Gondor in lotr is NOTHING compared to what it was in the early 3rd age, or Arnor and definitely not Númenor, Rivendell is a pebble compared to Lindon and Eregion, we only ever see Khazad-dûm as a decrepit tomb instead of the most prosperous mine in all of middle earth is once was). This juxtaposition is integral to the main themes of lotr and is imperative to the story jirt was trying to tell. A story set in the 2nd age cannot have these ruins because IT IS THE RUINS. It cannot “feel like lotr” because it is what will make lotr lotr.

3. Characters (individuals) are of little importance in the Silmarillion.

As important as Elendil and Isildur (and even Anárion) are to the plot of literally the entire 3rd age, we know little about their own narratives. They are names for the people that did these important actions and that’s it. Again, the Silmarillion is a history, it’s not going to say what Elendil and Isildur’s relationship was like in excruciating detail or what Isildur wanted to do with his life before sailing to middle-earth and becoming a king. You have to write these characters a good story if you’re adapting the Silmarillion and sometimes there isn’t space to write a compelling journey in the space Tolkien left. Because they don’t have a character, any character you give them will seem “out of character” to many people.

Basically my point is that before you go and say ��well this is weird or I didn’t like this choice” think about what the creative team had to create to make an interesting show out of a story not designed to be told. Sometimes they didn’t make the perfect decision, but if you were tasked with adapting something unadaptable do you think you would do it perfectly?

[gatitties]

Who 's the villain?

─JoFoes x gn!teen!reader (platonic)

─Summary: You wanted to have a less boring life, what you didn't expect was a kidnapping and ten villains older than the sun trying to take care of you, and not by choice.

─Warnings: none

OKAY, I'm currently finishing watching the part 4, HOWEVER, I always end up getting spoilers, I found some books on wattpad and here about this theme with the villains and I really liked it, so here I am writing this to please myself for the lack of content 😔, I'm sorry if the villains between parts 5-6 are not as faithful to their personalities, I am guided by other writings I also plan to write more parts, however not as long as this one (I just got a little excited 🙂)

You were wallowing in your misery, you angrily threw the notebook with messily written notes across your room, letting an exasperated sigh escape your lips, you wish you had an invention that would make you remember all the contents of the exam, but alas, Doraemon did not exist.

You rubbed your temples, noticing how the sun had completely hidden, you decided to go out to get something for dinner, knowing that your parents weren't big fans of dinner, they would just let you get what you wanted or if it was something more elaborate you would ask them to do whatever just for you, you settled for something simple today.

You took the food to your room, closing the door and clearing your desk full of sheets, opening your computer to put something on the background because there was no way you were going to eat without seeing something, you moved restlessly in your chair, turning it as time passed ridiculously slow, one of the wheels got stuck with something and made you stumble to the ground, luckily you had already finished your meal and didn't stain anything.

"Damn, why is there always a random pencil on the floor?"

You grabbed the green pencil, looking at it as if it were your worst enemy and threw it towards the desk, it bounced and returned to the floor, but you didn't realize it, you lay down looking at the ceiling, your mind completely empty without wanting to be conscious of your responsibilities, couldn't you skip the entire phase of adolescence? Or at least, do something more entertaining? Your days were spent stuck at home without much to do because all your friends were too busy or it was difficult to agree on a date to go out together.

You got up from the floor, closing the window of your room because it started to get cold, looking at the stars, you wished you had some interesting change in the rhythm of your life, as if destiny itself had planned it, something tugged at the collar of your pajamas, you coughed from the sudden grip, struggling to free yourself from whatever was holding you, it had more strength than you and ended up dragging you out of your house, you screamed when you saw that you were falling from the second floor, but you barely had time to react when some arms picked you up and put a cloth over your mouth.

Now, when you thought about having a little more interesting life… you weren't referring to this, voices that were distant became increasingly clear as did your consciousness, it seemed that several men were arguing about something that you still didn't understand, your body shook when you opened your eyes finding several imposing people, luckily no one seemed to have noticed that you stood up so you decided to use that to your advantage.

You moved slowly along the sofa, you were about to put your foot on the floor when you felt an intense gaze on you, you exchanged glances with a tall, muscular man with barely any clothes, his hair was very pretty, but you weren't going to stop and flatter him right now.

"The little human has finally woken up, maybe they have some answers about this situation."

"Little human? My God, I've been kidnapped by aliens…"

You mumbled, swallowing hard as you saw that now all eyes were on you, you laughed awkwardly, lowering your other foot to the ground, everything remained in an awkward silence until you decided to use your legs to run wherever as fast as you could.

You went up a flight of stairs, hearing footsteps behind you, you went crazy when you saw the magnitude of the house you were in, you could easily get lost in the maze of hallways and rooms, you managed to avoid the arms of another tall and strong guy, luckily you were elusive, you turned into a hallway and hid in a closet watching as a blonde with fangs and some kind of priest were looking for you, once they left your vision you ran down again hoping to get out the door.

You were startled when another blonde man in a purple suit grabbed your shoulder before you could reach the living room where you woke up, sending a quick kick to his shin you ran towards the door, unfortunately another person grabbed you to stop you, this time you didn't hold back and screamed when he approached you, latching onto your waist in a strange hug.

The strange thing is that he started to scream just as scared as you, you slowed down your scream while the pink haired boy continued to have a commotion, the strange situation left you confused, but the presence of the others entering the room made you react, looking at the windows of the living room, you made the new plan, and before anyone reacted or guessed your thoughts you ran to the windows, or tried to.

"Ack-! What the hell…?"

Your head began to hurt because you fell directly to the ground, frowning when you saw a damn green pencil rolling on the ground, you groaned in pain and trembled when you saw how everyone surrounded your body, apparently you had nothing more than to accept your fate .

"Oh Father who art in heaven, forgive me for having insulted all those people while playing Roblox and Minecraft, forgive my sins and let my body rest in-

"Hey kid, you're not dying, cut that shit."

You frowned at the blonde who interrupted you, he had a stupid helmet with the word 'Dio' on it, before you could complain the priest spoke.

"No, it's good for young people to pray, continue."

You looked blankly at the guy, did he really think you were seriously praying? Someone picked you up by grabbing your ankle, you tried to look at the redhead who had picked you up and was looking at you with big eyes analyzing every movement, but your neck started to hurt trying to get a good look.

"Santana, that's not how you hold people."

Another giant snatched you up, now holding you with his arm on your legs, instinctively your arms went around one of his shoulders to keep you upright.

"Now then… I think you have something to explain to us, don't you?"

You blinked a couple of times in bewilderment, looking at all the men in the room, you pointed at yourself in confusion, exchanging awkward glances with everyone.

"Excuse me, I did what, exactly?"

"Don't play dumb! As much as I would like to live again to reign in this world, I, Dio, remember exactly that I died and now I am here."

One of the blondes pointed at you accusingly as if you had caused him to come back to life, a shiver ran through your entire body, pushing your body further against the man who was still holding you.

Each one expressed their displeasure against an entire lineage, all apparently dead on another occasion or timeline, leaving you even more confused, how did these crunchy old fossils think a teenager brought them back to life if you seem even more confused than them? Apparently everyone woke up before you and started an argument, accusations flew between them but they came to the conclusion that none of them knew anything, so that's why you were the last accused, the last to wake up.

"Well eh- I'm sorry to disappoint you but I have nothing to do with it, the last time I checked I wasn't doing any ritual to bring back dead people…"

Everyone seemed ready to discuss the topic again, but the television in the living room suddenly turned on, the guy who was still holding you, crushed you against his broad chest, scared by the electronic device, while the majority watched expectantly.

A video from a certain 'Speedwagon foundation' began to play explaining some things about a social reintegration program, something about a second chance in an alternate universe and things that you couldn't understand, apparently the others seemed to understand most of the references about some things called stands and their weakening, throughout the entire explanation you looked with your eyes blank, not knowing that you were painting with what seemed to be villains from another universe, apparently the video coincided with your thoughts when you heard your name come out from the person speaking in the screen.

"And another thing that will show that you are capable of returning to society as rational people is being able to take care of the teenager that you have at your side, we hope that they can also provide you with some reasoning and kindness."

"I don't think I gave my consent for this… isn't this considered kidnapping?"

The television was turned off, leaving now a very silent room, apparently that foundation had enough power to do anything, they fulfilled your wish to change your pace of life, but at what cost? Everyone looked at you again.

"So we just have to not kill people for a while and make sure the human doesn't die? That will be an easy task."

Everyone seemed to nod at what one of the giants said, you looked at them nervously, you weren't sure if they really understood what this was all about, but at least it ensured your life in some way.

Wamuu put you down once the whole situation became somewhat clearer, and your next move was to find your room and hide under the covers in hopes that this was a weird dream.

It was not.

You woke up suddenly when the door to your room flew to the floor, splintering in several places, well, goodbye to your privilege of privacy, the first thing you saw was the tail of a dinosaur moving slowly, which you recognized as Diego complained about the blow while Valentine ─if you remembered correctly─ looked at him with fury, the fight continued down the hallway, deciding not to intervene, your stomach asked for food.

The living room seemed a little messier than the night before, apparently some people couldn't get along with each other, you shrugged and entered the kitchen, finding a nervous Doppio being watched by Santana.

"Hello…"

You greeted, receiving a small nervous smile from the pinkette and a silent look from the pillar man, Doppio seemed to escape once Santana's eyes watched you move around the kitchen, conveniently full of food, since you were not a cook and your skills were limited, you opted for some simple toast.

"What is that thing?"

You stifled a scream when the redhead spoke, pointing to the toaster, you briefly explained how it worked as he nodded, what you didn't expect was that when the buns jumped he got scared and broke the toaster, you looked at each other in silence for a second, your buns at least landed on the counter safe and sound.

"That thing tried to attack me."

"Sure… hey, don't worry, it scared me too even when I know they're going to jump."

You'll think about how to get a new toaster later, you sat at the table that had been cleared by Kira, who seemed to be the only one to make himself something decent for breakfast, it was the only half normal at least at first glance.

The first days passed in a blur, a new toaster appeared at the entrance of the house, the arguments continued, and your routine was based on locking yourself in your room and dying of boredom, sometimes Santana followed you around the house asking about the electronics devices, of course he wasn't the only one to ask about how things worked, but your interactions were brief.

You also took charge of tidying up the house a bit, since these men seemed to have no sense of cleanliness except for Pucci, Valentine, and Kira. Your door was not yet repaired, you used a blanket to cover the opening, but you decided that today you would try to fix it, after walking around the house you found a room with tools, you didn't know what you were going to need so you grabbed a box with several heavy things.

You looked blankly at your old door, starting to glue the parts together with super glue and stapling them with a staple gun, it was good enough as it held together without falling apart again, the problem was that when trying to frame the door in place you stubbed your finger too strong.

"Oh, fuck!"

"Teenagers should not swear."

Pucci looked at you seriously as if you had committed a war crime, you could only dry a mischievous tear that escaped due to the pain in your battered finger, ignoring the priest you returned to work under his gaze.

"What are you doing here, huh? Watching the puny human?"

The last thing you needed was eyes on you, Dio's presence gave you chills and caused you to stub your fingers more than you would have liked while you finished fixing your door.

"Oh my! How can you just watch while a teen does all the work? An exemplary family man would be the one who should take care of these things."

The hammer was snatched from your hand, when you looked up you saw Valentine, who finished your poor job, the other two had disappeared seconds later.

"Thank you."

"No problem dear, you should treat those battered hands."

You nodded looking at the redness on your bruised fingers, either you had really bad aim or you were really shit at carpentry, but whatever.

You were mostly ignored as no one really cared about your existence because you seemed to be able to take care of yourself, however Doppio found himself attached to you, you didn't know if it was because he was just as fearful as you in some ways or because he found comfort in you because you seemed less tougher on him than the others, they weren't especially friendly or at least their appearance was scary enough not to be around.

But you started to lose your mind, you wished you could do something with your boring life, however your routine was to spend your days watching fights break out, considering that all your electronic devices were gone, it drove you crazy by not being able to do anything fun.

Then you entered your villain arc, you were supposed to have some immunity to these geezers, so you decided that what would reign in the house would be chaos. Everyone started to really rethink whether taking care of you was going to be that easy. You didn't even try to make things chaotic, your mere existence was, it was just something you kept to yourself, so as not to embarrass yourself or stand out too much for your clumsiness.

Kira found out that your cooking skills sucked to the point where you could burn water somehow, the pillar men would be confused as to why they can't use the TV like you told them to, and there's only a background video of some guy singing 'never gonna give you up' on a loop, Dio will find everywhere a pink diary with glitter and some red letters 'vampire diary' where there are poorly made drawings of him and Pucci with hearts, casually your tongue will rant with the words most barbarians in front of Pucci and occasionally inciting fights between Valentine and Diego, you discovered the identity problems of Doppio and his alter ego Diavolo and decided that your best option was to gaslight him to annoy.

They also discovered that you have some kind of power ─you don't─ because they find colored pencils lying randomly on the floor that they usually trip over, although you are not free from your curse either. Since you discovered all that about the stands after doing a little research on your own you started punching the air in the hope of hitting one of them.

You are only making their existence more complicated and they were already dead in other universe, do they have to take care of you? Well, you'd run around juggling knives in shoes twice your size to see how long it would take them to realize that you'd accidentally stabbed yourself, hopefully if they failed in their mission to take care of you they would return to their graves and you back to your normal life, which now seemed be much more fun than being trapped with pangea survivors.

At least now you have their attention, they will prevent you from tripping down the stairs, from burning yourself trying to cook, they will even go to the point of scolding you if you stay up late, indeed, none of them ─except for Kira─ knew what it was like to deny doing things to a teenager, so you moved on to your disobedience phase, you weren't that much of a brat, at this point you were doing it just to annoy these guys, although your real problem was with the Speedwagon foundation, since they were the ones who deemed you "fit" to show them empathy and a new way of seeing life peacefully.

The foundation definitely didn't take a psychological test before making that decision, they think you are a psychologist, and you are the one who needs a psychologist, you are definitely not the person who can fix them.

At first you thought you were locked in with them, but in truth, they are the ones locked in with you.

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Jurdan Headcanon (Jude Duarte and Cardan Greenbriar)

I’ve also published this on ao3 if you’d rather read it there, here’s the link. I’m making this a full series (Cardan in the Mortal World).

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 2.5

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Previous Chapter (Chapter 7)

Chapter 8

Cardan’s POV

It is a day of rest at the Vivienne-Heather household and Jude is in light slumber with her head atop my lap. Oak is watching moving pictures upon the black cage (Jude has assured me many a times that this ‘Television’ is no cage but I shall say it as I see it). This moving picture is named ‘Despicable Me’ which features some atrocious yellow absurdly-shaped monsters following an even more absurdly-shaped man. However, I do have to admit that their antics are quite entertaining.

It surprises me when Oak tells me that Gru is seen as a villain in the world of the moving pictures. If I’d had a father even half as kind, it would’ve changed my world, why it would have changed the very essence of who I am today. I tilt my head down to hide the traitorous tear slipping down my face, and I see Jude’s face peaceful in slumber. I have only one warrior to thank for invading the thorny barrier protecting my heart and conquering it, scarred and rotten though it may have been. I kiss her upon her brow and promise silently that I shall never let her down nor waste the value she conferred upon my kindness, I shall be a good uncle to Oak, always.

I gently ruffle Oak’s hair who shakes off my hand and continues to remain seated on my legs and pretend he is riding a horse. I acquiesce to his commanding pats upon my shins and raise my legs to fully satisfy his rich imaginings. Suddenly he is distracted by Heather’s mobile device which chirps like a bird (Jude has also assured me that no birds are encapsulated within the devices, that it is merely ‘modern human technology’). He picks it up and begins tapping furiously at its surface. These mobile devices will be the death of humans, building up merely finger dexterity and no other useful fighting or survival skills.

“Uncle Cardan,” Oak calls. “Hmm?” “What would you be if you were a human?” He asks. I ponder the question. I am king in my realm, although that was entirely by luck (and Jude’s devious scheming), so I do not place much faith in my ability to successfully rule humans. However, I am skilled at entertaining and remaining fashionable in every realm. “An Influencer,” I reply, having recently learned of them from Heather, whose attention is often completely captured by influencers on her mobile device. Oak simply nods and continues swiping and tapping at the mobile device. I think nothing of the question, children, human or fae, have wild imaginations.

“Uncle Cardan, look, look!” He shrieks, shoving the mobile device right in front of my eyes. I squint at the image. It is an image of me wearing a gauzy purple top with loose white pants, my neck is decorated with swirling dark tattoos and my eyes are painted over with glittery paint. I cannot deny that it is a highly flattering attire (although all attire is flattering on me), but I am utterly confused how this image exists when I have never worn these clothes at all, nor commissioned any such painting.

“Oak, where did you source this painting of me?” “It is not a painting, Uncle Cardan. It’s AI,” he explains, laughing and confusing me further. What sort of witch is this Ae-Ai, is she divining the future?

All this excitement wakes up Jude, who frowns at me confusedly and mildly annoyed. She wears irritation as beautifully as every other expression but I quickly vanish it by placing quick kisses upon her nose and cheeks and lips. Her hair is a certified nest, but she wears this upon her head as grandly as she wears a crown.

“What are you guys arguing about now?” she grumbles. “And is it really worth disturbing my nap over?”

“I apologise a thousand-fold, my darling queen, but it is indeed of utmost urgency. I suspect a witch is plotting against me.” Jude squints at me and I pluck the mobile from Oak’s hand to show her the evidence. Oak meanwhile is rolling around the floor laughing and laughing, I have been sorely amiss in my duty of teaching him the appropriate royal etiquette.

“Cardan, babe, this isn’t a witch. It is, once more, just mortal technology. Oak put in a picture of you and this created what it thinks you would have looked like if you’d have been an influencer. Speaking of, Oak, save that image and send it to me,” she says trying to keep her face unmoving, but I see a twinkle of excitement in her eyes. It sparks an idea of my own, “Oak hand me the mobile device.” I quickly enquire what mortal profession is appropriate for one with Jude’s skills and the mobile device answers with the police, more specifically, the FBI. I type in my request and the Ae-Ai provides an image of Jude in a complete FBI attire. I stare at the image long enough that Jude leans over to see what has so fully absorbed my attention. She blushes at the image and rolls her eyes. My modest queen, able to make any attire seem magnificent. I whisper to Oak to preserve this painting as well and send it to Jude.

Heather strolls into the room and states that she’s found another Ae-Ai witch, this one’s skills lay in extending eyelashes. Jude seems uninterested but self-proclaimed fashion connoisseur that I am, I decide to accompany her to test this witch for myself. (The earlier one’s skills have left me quite intrigued).

“Babe, your eyelashes are long enough already,” Jude grumbles. “Only the better to bat them at you, my sweet villain,” I reply, winking at her. She blushes once more and kisses me goodbye.

We ride in the metal monstrosity that Heather chariots, Vivienne holding her hand in the front seat and I lounge in the back. We pass through a food tunnel, I have no other description for this ‘McDonalds’ Drive Through’ and I munch on some French fries (the French are talented chefs in every realm).

We arrive at the witch’s lair. It is decorated quite beautifully, I concede, in gleaming white marble streaked through with a rainbow of colours, although it must be to lure in victims. A woman, presumably the witch’s minion (This minion is not yellow unlike in that ‘Despicable Me’ picture), explains the process. I zone out as I look around the space, wondering what the witch uses to extend eyelashes and whether I can abduct her for my own kingdom.

Finally, it appears to be time for the witch to do her magic. Vivienne and I enter a different room, while Heather opts to wait outside with a cryptic statement, “I’m not letting any technology near my eyes, god forbid, I’ve watched enough final destination movies.”

The room is sparsely decorated with plain white walls, however, there is a giant technological monstrosity in the middle of the room. It has pincers like a crab, although made of metal (What are crab pincers made of, I wonder) surrounded by a glass cage and a bed below. The human woman directs me to lay down on the bed.

“So, this is Kate, our eyelash extension AI. You’ll just have to lay here while she does her work. We recommend taking a beauty nap because the process will take between 15-20 minutes. I’ll be controlling it remotely, so you don’t need to worry.” I nod, not that I need sleep to enhance my beauty but I wouldn’t mind the rest. She also adds, “The metal parts are magnetically attached so they can’t pierce your eyes, if you bump into them, they’ll simply fall off and get detached.” I sigh softly, not that I was worried at all, but Jude likes my eyes, it would be a shame for them to be wounded.

“As you wish. I am ready to begin.” I lay down and the witch, Kate begins her spellcasting with a low hum. I must have fallen into a light slumber because I am woken by the human woman announcing that the work is complete. She smiles and exclaims, “Wow, you look amazing. Are you a model? Or influencer?” It is easier to merely agree than explain that I am the High King of Faerie (I attempted it once and the woman I explained it to was extremely angry with me because she believed I was jesting and Jude was not pleased either).

She places a mirror before me and I am indeed impressed. My eyelashes look significantly longer, closing and opening my eyes nearly has the effect of waving a fan. They now skim the tops of my cheekbones, highlighting my face structure pleasantly.

“Would you mind if I record a reel?” The woman asks, pointing her mobile device at me. I reply that I do not mind, although unsure what a reel is.

After paying the human woman, we all set off back to Heather’s abode.

Jude’s POV

They return quite late from the eyelash extension parlour. I’m half asleep when Cardan joins me in bed and I’ve forgotten all about where he just came from. I just squeeze myself into his arms and fall right back asleep.

In the morning, I wake up to Cardan’s face in the sunlight. It nearly infuriates me how beautiful he looks, but he’s mine so I can’t complain. And his eyelashes leave me speechless. They look like those annoying pixies’ that used to be always fluttering around him when he wasn’t mine, who’d enhanced their beauty with magic. He opens his eyes and it’s a whole show. He blinks those long lashes innocently at me and it makes me blush so hard, I kiss him so he doesn’t notice. He seems surprised at the sudden affection, but is soon to reciprocate and thread his long fingers through my hair.

“Aunty Jude, Uncle Cardan!” Oak shouts running into the room. I frustratedly pull myself away from Cardan turn towards Oak. He has leaped onto the bed and is excitedly showing us something on his phone. “Look, look! You’re famous!” We watch a reel of an eyelash extension parlour showing off Cardan’s face, and the hundreds of thousands of likes and comments it has accrued. ‘Step on me Daddy’, ‘Cut me to ribbons with those cheekbones king’, ‘Why do men get the prettiest lashes ugh’. I agree with the last comment but I stop reading them for fear that they’ll make me angry at all these shameless men and women fawning over my king.

“Aha! I was right to assume I would make a successful influencer, wouldn’t you agree, my sweet god,” Cardan gloats with pride. “I suppose your vanity in your appearance is only going to grow from here,” I reply, fake disappointedly.

“Indeed, perhaps I should begin an account of my own,” he replies. He leans into my ear and whispers, “but no matter how many people gaze upon me, I will always be only yours to touch.”

Tagging @jurdanhell @nee-naw-nee-naw-beepbeep

Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tagging list (or removed).

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

What do you think is going to happen in the season seven finale?

Firstly, thank you for sending this and sorry it took so long to answer! I’m struggling to find the time to interact in this fandom the way I used to unfortunately. Answer under the cut because I am incapable of being either brief or concise 😅

I think it’s hard for me to distinguish between what I want to happen and what I think will happen so this answer might end up being a bit of both 😅

I think that the ending scene is going to be very hard hitting, since we’ve seen the trend develop over the seasons from the initial ‘haha funny’ drunken Rick rant while Morty suffers, to both Rick and Morty being equally excited, to Rick starting to realise he’s shitty and to heal, and finally back full circle to having Rick drunkenly rant at an unenthusiastic Morty but this time played straight and with Morty realising the horror of Rick’s abuse but still not being able to break free.

I’ve seen people mention the idea of having an equivalent ending scene with Prime and Morty instead of C-137 and Morty which I think would be very interesting, especially if we do get more exploration of Morty’s character and his perspective on his relationship with Rick in the broader sense of Ricks in general, rather than just with C-137. I think the show does a very good job of using sci fi concepts such as clones or different dimensions to explore characters and their relationships and I think it would be very cool to have this with Morty and Prime. However, I don’t know if the Prime stuff will develop that quickly, especially if he’s intended to be the big bad of the latter half of the whole series. Equally, Prime could turn out to be only a small piece of the bigger puzzle and maybe he’ll become relatively insignificant compared to other plot elements. Only time will tell I guess.

I think the most common complaint about S6 (from this corner of the fanbase at least) was the lack of Morty, so I hope this is something that gets addressed in S7 and that his character gets a turn in the limelight. At the same time, I appreciate that the show is trying their best to build off of pre-existing canon but also to complete a big tonal shift so I have faith that Morty will get his time to shine, especially since his dynamic with Rick was explored more in the final two episodes (and at the end of Analyse Piss). I definitely want to see the complexities of Morty’s feelings towards Rick and his family as a whole and I’m excited in particular for the Morty and Summer episode that seems to be about the mindblowers - we haven’t really had an exploration of the way Morty feels about Summer getting all these privileges. After all, he’s always tried to protect Summer from Rick and be a good brother despite being the youngest but now Summer is working with Rick and becoming like him. She also has that sort of power over him when it comes to the mindblowers, which is played for laughs in the episode itself but I’m interested to see them explore the darker side of this - after all, Summer is aiding Rick with editing Morty’s memory, and she clearly has a fair bit of power and control over this, given that Rick trusts her to restore both of their memories and wander down there at her leisure. Morty’s Mindblowers definitely marks a whole new era of Rick’s manipulation of Morty, where we start to truly see just how much Rick is deliberately and intentionally controlling Morty’s perceptions and memories.  I’ve spoken before with @hazelnut-u-out about how mindblowing is very much a metaphor for gaslighting - Rick is influencing what Morty remembers and how he remembers it, not only removing memories he doesn’t want but even editing them so Morty has no hope of ever getting the true memory back even if Rick does allow him to keep any of the memories permanently. It’s not hard to draw the parallel between this and the way that trauma can permanently shape the way you view things, even if you are able to remember them or process them. However, Summer is clearly aware of this and seemingly makes no effort to stop it or tell Morty. Obviously she is also being manipulated by Rick (‘I don’t get paid enough for this shit’), but she’s still involved and I can imagine that affecting their relationship a lot. I would like to hope that this episode has Summer choosing to tell Morty and trying to heal, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds the room accidentally and is discovered by her instead of Rick, or maybe they’re forced to take shelter from something and Summer takes them into the mindblowers room since it’s the only safe place, leading Morty to question how she knows the room exists and has a key to it.

On a lighter note, we had better see Birdperson again (and hopefully his daughter). I would definitely love Rick having to help look after her and she absolutely hates him.

I’m very excited for S7 and I wonder how much my thoughts on this will change when the trailer drops Monday but these are my thoughts for now!

[portal--stuck]

Now for the little guy I'd take to NASA, The [Redacted] Meseum of Natural Sciece planetarium section, then travel all the way to New Mexico for the Roswell Alien Museum (This one is a bit conspiricy theoryish considering it's about the alleged alien crash in Roswell but it's fun) that's right it's Spacecore Spacecore (<3 My god am I loving all over them): Heir (Our first passive class and it's a changing class) of Hope Prospit Dreamer Keywords and Symbols for the hope aspect as always mentioning these are not all going to apply to them, however it's for non-Homestucks to get a feel for the aspect, also these may seem similar to those of the Rage aspect that's because they are the opposite sides of the same thing: Bells, Angels, Glass, Belief, Inspiration, Peace, Calming, Spires, Faith, Relic(s), Prayer, Rebuild, Share, Cliffs, Heights, Pinnacles, Cups, Castles, Roses, Dawn, Gold, Unicorns, Doves, Feasts, Sugar, Changes, Shifts, Inspiration, Spark(s), Stars, Unstoppable Forces, Truth/authenticity, Belief, Possibility, Options, Wish, Realness, Imagination, Ideas, Conception, Unconditional love or trust, Confirmation, Harmony, Acceptance, Naive optimism,Positivity, Euphoria, Getting the ‘Green Light’ or a Go Ahead, YES Strife Specibus/Weapon: Rocket Launcher Pesterchum Handle: ArdentTyro Typing Colour: #c29660 Typing Quirk (This is getting difficult I can see why some like Mituna have difficult to read typing quirks): Starts all messages with ⋆⁺₊⋆ 🪐⋆⁺₊⋆ (like how Nepeta starts all messages with :33 <) Uses lots of exclamation points when excited and talking about their interests, tends to drop periods at the end of their sentences (So they end with no punctuation unless it’s an exclamation point or very rarely a question mark), and begins all sentences with a capital but doesn’t continue capitalisation for the rest of the sentence meaning they won’t capitalise names or the letter ‘I’ unless it’s the first part of a sentence Their planet is the Land of Kaleidoscopes and Reconstruction which was once full of life and colour, however the planet is now dying with only a few consorts left and dull toned colours they needs to help rebuild the planet to it's former glory, give the consorts hope, and figure out a way to aid them in keeping their planet in a good state this will be done with the help of the Denizen. The Planet's Denizen is Shiva (God of creation, destruction, and transformation) And the Consorts that live on the planet are all Black Spotted Slimy Salamanders (Yes that's their actual name) I forgot to mention that all consorts are either reptiles are amphibians The next general post will be on the Romance Quadrants and the next Character post will be about Factcore

[lilover131]

Chapter 68 Analysis

It’s new chapter time!! And boy, was this a good one! I haven’t been this excited about the next chapter in quite some time, but that’s how you know for sure that we’re definitely in the climax of the story!

Also, this gif totally was my vibe while reading this chapter. 

Without further ado, let’s delve in! 

Call it Tsubasa PTSD if you wish, but seeing a absolutely adorable color page always has me worried that something bad is about to happen. Lmao! CLAMP has a tendency to give us these really heart warming pictures before crushing our hearts, but I’m going to have faith that there is a different meaning here. Perhaps this is to remind us of Syaoran’s promise to not let Sakura become unhappy. Or perhaps it is also a reminder of what Sakura said when she made the new Mirror card. She said she wished she could look in the mirror and see herself the way everyone else does. And in a way, Syaoran becomes her mirror in this chapter, but I’ll delve into that a bit more further into this analysis.

 The chapter starts off very similarly to the ending of chapter 50 where Momo narrates and asks what happiness is to her, and how it is that she can always believe everything will be all right even during times of hardship. ‘Alice’ comes to on a gondola-like boat moving down a calm stream between two huuuuuuge shelves containing thousands of books (I wish I had a library like that). I love CLAMP’s landscape designs once again, but the incorporation of the trees is quite nice here. It gives the vibe that this library is not just full of books but is alive.

The Red Queen asks ‘Alice’ whose voice she heard and asked if it was something important. Something flashes across her face that indicates that perhaps for a moment, a brief moment, Sakura is starting to remember who she is. The smile in particular feels much more like herself than the character of ‘Alice’. And it seems practically confirmed that she did have a brief glimpse of self recognition based on ‘Mr. Cat’/Kaito’s brooding expression and clenched fists. Lol!

 Kaito seems most displeased and doesn’t hesitate to let Momo know he doesn’t appreciate it by asking her not to give Sakura any more hints. He also reminds her that she’s supposed to not assist the characters in the book. Momo explains that it’s ‘narration’ she’s helping move things along by facilitating and not assisting in any way. Lol. Kaito gives his usual smile at her scolding, which is so weird on Syaoran’s face, and I feel this is his way of covering up how irritated he actually is by this. Hahahaha. He lets Momo know he’s still not particularly happy about it, but decides to let it go for now so they can continue following them.

 ‘Alice’ comments on all the books surrounding them, and the Red Queen states that books are incredibly important in this land, and that they have always been there for her. As we know, it was shown many many chapters ago (our first glimpse of Akiho’s past) how she had no friends as a child, and books were her only friends, so it seems almost like a flash of the real Akiho here. She’s still in there, though not out quite yet.

 However, these books in this library are no ordinary books. The Red Queen explains that each book holds a person’s memories and serves as a record. They contain a person’s feelings, hopes, and even the magic they created. I am totally creeped out by this because we know Akiho’s Clan (aka the Squid Clan or Asshats), performed a spell on Akiho so that she would absorb the contents of all grimoires that pass before her and engrave them on her very soul. She is an artifact meant to absorb magic, so all of these books….are potentially magic and memories she’s stolen (unconsciously I’m sure) from people. And that’s absolutely horrifying to think about. I figured she had absorbed a lot of magic from people, but that is way more than I ever imagined, so it’s no wonder why she’s so close to breaking!

 This also brings another theory to mind. Since we know they are in the Alice in Clockland book, I find this fascinating how when Akiho tried to absorb Sakura before in the pool chapter, it was pages of a book that sprung from her feet to capture her to ‘bring her magic inside the book’. And now that we know what else the Alice in Clockland book contains (memories), this leads me to believe that the book isn’t just something that Akiho owns, but is a reflection of her own soul. And currently, it is writing Sakura’s story within it to ‘record’ it too (this is a theory, so I’m not stating anything definitively here).  This might explain why Akiho can read the book when no one else can, why she dreams of the stories within its pages, why Kaito seems to be so invested in Sakura’s life and history, and even why Momo said before that they were synchronizing. What if Sakura’s story and magic are being written inside of the book that is Akiho’s soul? The one that was considered a ‘blank book’ by her clan before. What if they actually turned her soul into a book so it could literally be written upon?

Sakura seems confused by the name of the book, as she still is recognizing herself as ‘Alice’ and asks Akiho if she is the Red Queen. She states she does not remember who she was before she came to Clockland, but that she remembers she had a very special person and that ‘Alice’ has a name more befitting of who she is. The Red Queen begins to lift her veil, and it seems in that moment that she has returned to being Akiho and is bringing Sakura back to remembering her own self. @meimi-haneoka​ also mentions in the Japanese version that the font changes in her speech, which collaborates with Akiho coming back to herself (strong girl!).

 However, it seems it wasn’t needed as Syaoran comes to the rescue, shouting her name loudly and cutting through the world to get to her (I love how the cuts reveal book pages. Guess Syaoran skipped a few chapters. Hahaha). Kaito is quick to respond to this interruption and he applauds him for managing to not get kicked out of the world by the trickery he pulled earlier using Mirror. He states that only one cat can be here right now, and he lunges forward to try and grab Syaoran. But suddenly, Syaoran seems to vanish in his grip and the light left behind zooms behind Kaito to..Syaoran? That’s right everyone, Syaoran fooled Kaito using Mirror, and I am absolutely living for it. Like, I am so proud of my boy, I can’t even. What a freaking 1000 IQ move.

Sakura calls out his name, indicating she is fully herself now, and Syaoran apologizes for his late appearance (not that he needed to, since he totally made up for everything in that moment). Sakura shakes her head and gets emotional (man, I would too) about how she couldn’t remember who she was until he called her name (which is exactly why Kaito wanted him to stay away!). Syaoran continues being cool af by telling her that she will only ever be Sakura to him and no one else, which seems to reassure Sakura that everything will be okay. It’s almost like he was telling her “I will always help you find your way back”.

Kaito returns to his usual form, but potentially not by his own doing? He states that Syaoran didn’t just retrieve the Sakura card version of Mirror, but that he also dispelled the illusion created by the new Mirror. It’s unclear if Syaoran forced this change on his own or if just happened by default due to Kaito’s ‘attack’ on him. Momo had mentioned before that even the slightest of magic tricks could ruin his disguise, so it’s possible.

 Syaoran is looking up at him rather intensely, and Kaito starts to analyze Syaoran again, praising him for a moment at his magical growth, before stating personal details about him. I swear to god, Kaito get so chatty when he’s around Syaoran, and I find it so fascinating to observe. I speak a lot more on this particular subject in my post titled “Syaoran and Kaito Analysis” which you can find here.  It has definitely been observed by me and others that Kaito particularly likes to bring up details about Syaoran’s life to him, and it’s unclear exactly why he does this, but it’s entirely different from how he interacts with other people, and I love it.

 Technically, he mentioned Syaoran’s mother and her divination skills once before, but since time was turned back the last time they fought, Syaoran actually doesn’t remember this conversation, so it is a bit of a repeat now. However, he does actually say something not entirely confirmed before but now is. He confirms for us that Akiho’s clan (the Asshats) takes particular interest in the Li clan and despises them due to their connections to Clow Reed. Now, this was implied before in Akiho’s first backstory chapter where the clan was ranting about Syaoran’s birth and how they felt they were being beat by the Li Clan due to Akiho being the only child of the same age and having no magic of her own. It was very likely this anger over Syaoran is what stirred them to do what they did to Akiho, but having Kaito confirm this just gives it another creepy factor. I mean, in a nutshell he just told Syaoran “I know this information about you because this magical family who hates your family stalks the ever living shit out of you”. Being “famous” to a clan that hates you is not a good thing at all. Not good indeed….

 But Kaito doesn’t say much more and flashes his pocket watch, claiming that Syaoran cannot stay here. His pocket watch looks more broken than ever, a metaphor for his life, and it really seems he doesn’t have much time left. Syaoran, not sure of what is coming, uses Mirror to copy Flight, and OMG THE RESULTS ARE SO FREAKING COOL. SYAORAN, WHY ARE YOU SO COOL IN THIS CHAPTER?!! He forms really cool looking wings made of glass, which resemble the glass pieces that stem from the Mirror card’s back, and Flight respectfully goes to both Sakura and Akiho. I was seriously wondering how much Mirror would be able to help him last chapter, but holy moly is he making amazing use of her.

The chapter ends with an intense stare down between the boys and Syaoran making a declaration that he will definitely bring Sakura (and Akiho implied too in the Japanese version) back with him, which obviously goes against Kaito’s master plan. It seems obvious the next chapter is going to include an epic fight between these two again, and I cannot wait!!!

I also cannot forget to mention Akiho’s sudden quietness once Syaoran appears. Her lack of reaction and the fact that CLAMP specifically keeps her face concealed has me incredibly concerned that she’s gone into ‘book-mode’ and that will certainly complicate matters in the next chapter if so. GOD, I’M SO EXCITED.

 Anyways, I’m very much looking forward to the Christmas chapter, and I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season!!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Write a story about death

In the chaos that followed Eloise's display of power, Gilbert left the shelter of the alcove and joined the battle.

Already? the dim voice in his head enquired. Forgive me, Lord, but I was not expecting the girl to show her hand so soon -- if at all! --

Gilbert cringed, putting his head down and his tail between his legs. The dim light seemed to have grown dimmer, as if the Lord and Lady were snubbing him for his impertinence.

Very well, the Lord said. In for a penny, in for a pound. Quickly, then, if you will: describe this Hector Stein in the same terms you have for the other cousins. What is his nature? Who can he be trusted with? What keeps him in line? What prevents him from rising higher?

Gilbert started talking, rehearsing his best bits of Stein schtick. The Lord listened intently.

Fascinating. . . . They said.

Gilbert frowned. What was fascinating about Stein?

With this information, I have one last question. I am puzzled. Stein is known to you? You have seen the sort of things he is capable of doing? And yet you have not judged him to be fully worthy of the secret? Is he not a suitable vessel for my ascendant power?

"Suitable vessel"? Gilbert thought. There was something not quite right about the Lord's statement -- he felt a pressing sense that a whole kind of meaning, a whole way of talking, was being paved over, its traces obliterated. But it was still the Lord talking, and that was the end of it.

I believe I am taking a leap in the dark here, said the dim voice. If I have misjudged Stein's nature, it is because I underestimated the complexity of human hearts. Perhaps Stein is truly a faithful agent of the Sphere? Perhaps even the very anguish that I have inflicted upon him serves my ends in the long run? There is little time for reflection now, but it may very well be that I will find answers on the Sphere. In any case, I ask you to use your best judgment. If Stein can be trusted with my ascendance, then you may trust him with everything. If not, then, then you must unleash your full powers against him.

Don't wait, the voice said. You will not have much time. Wrap things up quickly.

Gilbert nodded dutifully, his mind racing as he tried to think of a way to obey both halves of the Lord's order. On the one hand he should try to "wake Stein up" and get the ascendance process started, and on the other he should wreak a terrible vengeance upon him if he was indeed irredeemable, in the name of protecting the Sphere. Both of these things sounded impossible.

But then he remembered the Miranda/Michael plan. He had been at a loss for what to do with Miranda, once he realized she couldn't be part of the ascension. Michael, however, seemed to have been thinking along parallel lines. Michael had the Mound Base to himself now. Was it too late to ask him for help? Was it, after all, a case of one Kadath the Ineffable talking to another?

I said I would not wait, the dim voice reminded him. But I will be patient, if that is what you would have of me. I will not coerce. Take as much time as you need. If you think there is any hope at all, we will entertain that hope. But do not deceive us. If there is no hope, I will not ask twice.

Gilbert gave a start. He looked around, half-expecting to see Michael looming over him. But Michael was behind him, still watching the battle and saying nothing.

The voice was with him, and so was Michael. They were watching him, waiting for his next move. For an instant, his old childhood self gazed at him with a kind of curiosity, with a tentative, awed interest in the marvelous deeds that this new adult self would be doing. But the adult Gazump was not actually excited about any of this. He was deeply confused, and felt alienated from both childhood self and adult self, and had no idea how to reconcile the two.

He walked back over to the Mound Base. The battle was in full swing -- the Lyctors were all at each others' throats, leaving room for the Duality Spirals to attack their backs. But the Spirals seemed to be . . . playing? They were parrying moves, blocking blows, leaving openings for their allies. They were just, like, playing Portal 2 co-op with the Lyctors, like some kind of cosmic fucking kids, as if none of this deathly shit mattered. As if any of this had anything to do with anything.

They were playing, and they were winning. What were their goals, exactly? They hadn't changed. They had always wanted to be the only two in the universe. Had they just felt so guilty about killing people, and needed to redeem themselves somehow, so they just let this playful stuff happen, for the sake of moral balance?

If so, then they were truly hopeless. Their best means of self-redemption was to play video games with their victims. That was how you got back on the side of good, according to these guys. Gilbert felt like he was missing some key part of this picture.

Hector and Eloise were fighting and, yes, Hector was on his way to losing. He was trying to get Eloise away from the piles of corpses around her -- he must have figured that those piles were not part of her personality, and he was right, but he still wanted to get her away from them. His face was a gnarled mask of scar tissue, and Gil could still see a little of the worm in there, crawling around inside the scar-tissue shell.

Could Gil do anything? Did he even want to?

The Lord and Lady, gazing down upon him, filled his head with things he should have said -- glosses on his ongoing strategy, new tactics for the future. But he forgot them instantly. He had heard it all before. The words meant nothing to him. They didn't even mean anything to himself, any more, the way they used to.

Hector Stein was going down, and Gil knew the words that the Lord and Lady wanted him to say. But it didn't matter anymore.

Hector Stein was going down, and everything else was going to burn in the end. So what? There were games to play. That was why he was here. Everything else was nothing.

Was he wrong? Was he missing the whole point? He couldn't be sure.

His mind was a blank, except for the words that the voice in his head filled it with. And the voice was not the voice of the Lord or the Lady, but a very different voice.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. It was the voice of Michael, finally. And yet it wasn't quite the Michael voice Gil knew.

What do you think you're doing? Did you hear me? Wait. Wait.

Michael had been kind, as always, and filled the world with a dazzling incandescent light. This was not like that light.

Wait, wait, wait, Michael said, let me think for a minute, let me just, let me think for a minute.

Michael's expression was full of concern. Why did it matter?

We didn't think it was like that.

Oh? What did that mean?

But now we see it. It's like that. You were right.

It's like that.

What do you mean, "it's like that"? I don't know what you're talking about. You're speaking to me in riddles.

The Lord, the Lady. They told me they would ask nothing of me if I did not truly believe, if I did not truly "hope."

And then?

I do not truly hope. I do not wish to do this. So they do not ask anything of me. But now we see, in your face, that they are asking something of you. And we do not know what it is.

Wait, please, please, please, wait.

Wait? For what? What was all this leading to? If the Lord and the Lady had seen how he felt, why were they doing this

[limelocked]

a/b/o anon here i mightve breifly forgot i ever anoned here because. well. memory👎

Anyways made a minor breakthrough in me worldbuilding and i am very proud of myself!!! And i need to tell someone so youre my victim for the day. Deal with it :)

So ive been thinking, plotting, yelling etc etc about heats. This is because one of my characters in a fic is gonna heat soon. Anyways, ive been thinking how three-monthly heat fevers the body *plans for* would affect an omegas physiology and shit. And i discovered that besides bigger bodies holding heat better (not good in this case) they also waste a fuckton more water. So, this is an actually scientifically sound explaination why omegas are smaller/more petite on average!!! (only a massive nerd would get excited about this.) Because a big Omega might get lost, or just spend spend a heat alone and dehydrate and die about it! Wowza!

ive been thinking about replying to that one ask im holding hostage because heehoo abo but youre back!

so the worldbuilding im doing im doing with my friend dot who knows just So much about biology and because i really dont i ran this by them to following result

while bigger bodies hold more heat and waste more water, smaller bodies dont have as much space for the water in the first place so they can get dehydrated easier, to combat this the omega body might put on a few pounds before the heat for the single use of shedding it during the heat

i do not know how that works, i have full faith in dot however, And i had a thought that this would be very positive for omegas in hunter gathering situations or when an omega cant get community support since heat is more or less horny flu and your body storing up energy for consumption during a time you may be incapacitated due to heat and unable to get the barest essentials for yourself is pretty good

its like how im told athletes carb load before a thing but like every time an omega is about to go into heat

[jonmcbrine-author]

The greatest prequels have already been made and though it is unlikely that these stories will ever be bested, creators will churn them out until the end of time. I am of the many who have released a prequel and/or plan on doing so. I suppose I wrote my prequel for the same reasons anyone else does, which is expand on a previously established story - that, and content. With an actual thing, a product, there isn’t much to talk about. My prequel, however, had a unique situation in that technically it is not a prequel.

I had already written two complete, full-length manuscripts of the Eric Icarus series but waited to release the first installment. Instead, I opted to write a new novella and launch that before anything. This short story takes place years before the events of Unsecret Identity, the first novel, and while it doesn’t spoil anything, it will fill in gaps for readers who enjoyed the main stories. The Supervillain’s Oath was my very first fiction release and is currently available as an ebook. Later, Eric Icarus - Book One was released. So, while I wrote Oath as a prequel, it was actually the inaugural release, therefore does not qualify as a prequel. Still, it can read before or after, and still make sense.

Prequels often play fast and loose with the rules (and canon). According to myself, a series such as Smallville is not a true prequel because there was no series preceding it. It is its own entity. But I’m not going to “well, actually” anyone who claims it as a prequel. I like to think of it as simply a “year one” show, but, again, these are super semantics.

Better Call Saul is, in my humble opinion, the greatest prequel series ever made. Whether a new viewer who hasn’t seen anything in this universe before would enjoy watching the series in the best chronological order they can… well, that’s up for debate. What this show does very well, though, is respect its own lore. Subjectivity will tip your personal scales, and I’m not saying the adventures of Jimmy McGill didn’t have hiccups along the way, but overall it is a masterpiece. Even with visibly older actors playing younger versions of themselves.

Staying true to the events of a series’ canon is crucial. Granted, being annoyed by an unsteady grasp of canonicity can be superseded by the quality of the entertainment. Remaining faithful to the source material is always preferred, but I’ve been won over numerous times. Will it still by a tiny bit aggravating if every detail isn’t coveted? Yes, but at the end of the day, if I enjoy something at the time I watch it, then I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to asking for.

Despite being able to like a movie or show that clearly didn’t watch its own “previously on” segments, the confusion doesn’t go anywhere. Is it a matter of too many cooks? Fuzzy memories? The writers are more excited about a new idea rather than revisiting old territory? We could all list several instances of a prequel bafflingly contradicting itself, but I won’t use this space to cite them. Mainly because I don’t want to trash something a fan may have enjoyed. Plus, as I mention above, I have produced material that takes place before other major fictional events in my own universe, so I am side by side with all the Prequel People.

No one is immune to continuity errors. However, I pledge to retrace every little step to ensure that my saga doesn’t get mixed up. And even if I do accidentally create a few historical blunders, I can always say it took place in an alternate dimension. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Stay in the loop for more details by following Jonfiction Blog on Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and all my books.

Unsecret Identity: Eric Icarus - Book One is available now from the Amazon as a paperback and as an ebook.

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New blog every Monday. Newsletter first Monday of each month.

[emptymanuscript]

This came up in my politics feed for no particularly good reason. I think it was the result of a Google search for shirtless Steve Bannon. So… you know… Google is doing great with that AI aided search algorithm.

However, I feel like this is a great comparison to the helicopter joke.

If you don’t know it, the helicopter joke goes something vaguely like:

A huge storm is coming and Steve’s zip code is warned that they should think about evacuating. But Steve is very religious and knows that he is loved by God and God will keep him safe. So Steve doesn’t do anything.

Then a cop drives by with a bull horn, yelling that the warning has changed to an evacuation order. The storm is coming and it’s going to be bad. Get out now.

Steve shakes his head and says with complete faith, “God will protect me.”

Steve’s phone rings. A volunteer has called him to make sure he got the evacuation order and to tell him where to go for safety. Steve thanks her but says, “I’m not afraid. God will protect me.”

The rain starts and quickly gets torrential.

A bus driven by volunteers drives the streets that are starting to flood trying to pick up people who haven’t gotten out for whatever reason. They see the lights from Steve’s home and yell that they can get him out.

Steve yells back. “Thank you but God will protect me. I feel His love. I’ll be ok. You go on and save those who need saving.”

The streets overflow and water starts leaking into Steve’s house.

Steve calmly gets geared up and goes up onto the roof. Gale winds blow and buffet him but he hunkers down on the roof to endure the trial because he can feel that God is with him.

State patrol comes through his neighborhood on a boat trying to find and rescue people who have been missed. They see Steve in their search light and boom over their loudspeaker, even louder than the approaching thunder that they’re coming for him. Come to the edge of the roof and they’ll catch him when he jumps.

“I’m good. God will protect me. He will save me if I need saving. You go on.”

And they don’t have time to argue so they do.

They sky gets full dark. The winds shake the roof tiles. The waters rise so that they’re breaking on the roof like it’s the beach. And it’s creeping higher.

Out of the darkness comes a light in the sky. Steve gets very excited. God is coming to get him. He was right.

But no. It’s a helicopter piloted by an old vet who heard about Steve from the guys in the the boat and decided to brave the storm in spite of the dangers. He’s risked his life to offer Steve this last chance. He warns no one else is crazy enough to even try. And he throws down a rope ladder for Steve to climb up.

But Steve is absolutely sure now. If he does need to go, God will come rescue him. “I’m safe. I’ll be alright. If it comes to it, God WILL save me.”

And the winds are getting worse and the helicopter is wobbling and there are others to daringly save so they go on.

The waters rise.

The current finally pulls Steve off the roof but he is not afraid. He knows God is with him. In his heart he proclaims that he is ready. Any moment now. As his strength gives out he uses the last of it to shout his faith: “Lord, I am ready!”

Steve drowns, which isn’t pleasant, but he does go right to heaven. Saint Peter is there and opens the gates right up for Steve and there’s God right on the other side waiting for him.

Steve says, “You know, I was sure you were going to save me physically, not just spiritually.”

God says, “I sent you Helicopter.”

Steve doesn’t know what to say that.

God continues, “That was after I sent you a boat. That was after I sent you a bus. That was after I had someone call you, specifically and personally. That was after I sent the message loud and clear that everyone had to get out. That was after I made sure everyone knew they needed to prepare because they might need to go. That was after I made sure that everyone knew a huge storm was coming because I put it all over the news. What more were you looking for?”

“You. I was sure YOU were going to save me.”

“In a blaze of glory and light, reaching down through the storm just for you?”

“Well… yeah.”

“That’s why I sent you the helicopter.”

…

Yeah, others tell it better XD. But the point still stands. I hope.

If God has given you the power that can translate into ten million prayers, what God has really given you is the warning that a threat is coming AND a way to reach ten million people to do something about it.

You CAN ask for prayers.

OR you can ask them to help you do something about being in the path of the storm.

Heeding information is listening for what God has put before you. Ignoring information is denying the message that has been sent. It’s an act of faith to accept and reconcile, not to ignore the message.

And, to be clear, this isn’t about any particular storm. Or even necessarily storms. Climate change. Kleptocracy. Whatever.

If you see the “storm” of troubles coming for you, that’s God offering help by warning you. If you hear the offer of a solution, that’s God working through the world. The travesties of our world are God’s way of offering you the choice to be part of the miracle. Participate in the great work.

Waiting for some miracle to happen is doing the opposite. It denies the word because you’re not listening. It denies the offering because you refuse even to choose. It denies, most of all, the miraculous nature of God because it demands that God, the ineffable, has to fit your exact definition of what you think a god should look like before you accept anything. Which is just a little prideful when you think of it.

[tinamaetales]

The 39, in retrospect

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah  6:8

The phrase “familiarity breeds contempt” seems truer than I could imagine. I tend to treat familiar things as just common knowledge but I don’t really find any feelings of contempt. But then, as I grew older, I realized that the things I’m familiar with started to irritate me especially when I encounter them all the time. Whenever I browse through social media on national holidays like my country’s Independence Day, I see a lot of posts related to our national heroes and before when I was still a student, I tend to become excited about them because “yey, something informative is on social media!” but now I just roll my eyes and scroll past them. This habit is bad because what if the post contains misinformation and everyone else just does not care enough to correct it? Then it will just create a series of posts about misinformation that the younger generation will stumble upon and since no one dares to correct them then it might pass off as fact. Sometimes, that is how we just roll right? We tend to just read on surface level instead of doing our research about certain things because fast facts and summary are better than reading full information – who has time for reading, anyway? An example of this that I can think of is when history books claimed that Jose Rizal is the author of the poem “Sa Aking Mga Kabata” and everyone else just accepts it. However, there is no actual documentary evidence that suggests his authorship. But such “fact” became so common in the Filipino society that when one asks about his writings, that poem is a familiar answer. Anyway, misconception or fake news is not the main topic of this blog post but more on how familiarity with certain things tend to make us disinterested in knowing more about them. I, for one, am guilty of this. I prefer reading summaries instead of the whole article. My mindset was, why read the full chapter when not everything will be part of the exam? Only the most common knowledge such as the main/famous characters and the dates of the more significant events are the questions to be included in exams. This kind of mindset was the reason why I never was interested in reading the Bible as a whole. I was content with knowing the familiar stories from the Bible like Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, Moses and the ten commandments, and Daniel in the lion’s, the parables of Jesus, Jesus’s crucifixion and resurrection to name a few and have no interest in actually knowing more about God. And such a mindset was one of the reasons why my faith in God was like a rollercoaster ride, filled with ups and downs. For the longest time, my mind only knows God but my heart does not fully know and understand him. 

I have already discussed here in my blog about how I was redeemed by God in late 2023 through the show The Chosen (crazy how God works, right?) and it was that show that ultimately made me come back home and work on having a real relationship with God through His only begotten son Jesus Christ. Early this year, I turned 28 and I made it a mission to get to know God more through reading the Bible. I bought a King James version Bible last December 2023 and I started reading it on the very first day of 2024; I decided to just read it in chronological order so I started with the Book of Genesis. Since I grew up in a dominantly Catholic practicing society and have studied in Catholic schools from kindergarten to high school, I am very much familiar with the stories from the Bible so I had the assumption that reading it would be easy but I was wrong. I was surprised at how difficult it was to fully grasp its message and I often find myself feeling overwhelmed after reading some chapters or verses. I realized now that there are a lot of things that I misunderstood and there are so many stories that are foreign to me and I am just learning now. Few days ago, before I started working on this blog post, I finished reading all 39 books of the Old Testament and right now I am feeling a lot of things. It was overwhelming, especially the contents of the books of Moses and the history books. The poetry books as well as the books of the major and minor prophets are also overwhelming especially on the form it was written. I thought that the Bible was written in a “novel” way but it was actually “poetic” which made it very challenging for me to comprehend. 

Amazement, confusion, assurance, melancholy, frustration, comfort, and pain – these are just some of the things I have experienced while reading the books of the Old Testament. Reading those 39 books was not like a walk in the park experience. I thought that reading the stories would feel as if I am reading a story about a hero; I just assumed that the chosen people of God managed to always do the right things and fulfill the mission given to them with some challenges and struggles on the side. I was expecting that it would be like how movies do it – once the main character conquers the challenges then it is happily ever after but it is not the case here. I tend to forget that these people from the Bible were real people who are just flawed humans like us. They can fall like a tower despite God choosing them. Just because they were chosen does not mean that they will not break again. It was difficult for me to understand it at first so I ended up getting disappointed and frustrated with them. I was frustrated with Aaron for tolerating idolatry, mad at Saul for his disobedience, and was let down by David when he ordered Uriah killed just so he can have his wife, and many others. It was difficult for me to understand because what I was expecting was something simple instead of accepting the fact that humans are complex. Also, who am I to be mad at them when I am a sinner too? It is easy to see the faults of others. Now that I have finished reading all the books and rereading some of the chapters and verses, I have realized that the Bible has the recurring theme of rise and fall of humanity and the abundant mercy, love, and compassion of God despite showing His wrath. In retrospect, I feel like the entire Old testament can be defined through these two verses: Exodus 34:6-7 - And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.” and Judges 21:25 - In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes.

It would be impossible for me to discuss the entirety of the Old Testament but in this blogpost I would just share some of the events and characters that I think about a lot:

The event that confused me: Isaac as an offering to God (Genesis 22:1-18)

“It is too much. God is asking for too much” this is my exact reaction right after reading that chapter from the book of Genesis. It was difficult for me to comprehend why an all-knowing, powerful, and loving God would ask his faithful servant Abraham for a sacrifice as heavy as this one. I reached the point wherein I asked God if it was necessary for Him to test one’s faith in such a heartbreaking way because I have been in situations wherein my faith was really tested to the point that I just concluded that maybe God enjoys punishing humans because the test was just too much. And that is where my failure to understand this chapter comes from. I was looking at this in a limited perspective because I thought God was just doing this to see if I can endure being faithful despite the heartbreaks which, most of the time, ends up with me resenting Him. However, that is not the case as I truly dive deeper. God did not ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac for the purpose of hurting him for his faith but to show us that when we remain faithful and submit complete obedience, God will deliver. The message of this story, in my own understanding, is that true faith requires work (James 2:26). It is not enough that you believe in God and memorize the Bible, you must also put in the work. We must completely surrender our lives to God and leave the life of sin. This is my main takeaway from this story – God is not asking for too much, He just wants us to fully trust Him. Abraham fully trusts God and Isaac trusts God too, so in the end God provided the ram to be sacrificed instead. The ram in place of Isaac is a foreshadowing of God himself sacrificing His own son to save the world (John 3:16).

The event that surprised me: Jacob wrestled with God (Genesis 32:24-28)

One of the characters from the Bible that early on I was never fond of was Jacob. I disliked him because of all the things he has done such as deceiving his father, stealing from his brother, and he did not even defend his own daughter from a rapist – he is a jerk. I disliked him more because it seems as if he always gets away from his own shits. Then, he finally got “cornered” when he was informed that Esau is going to meet him but he has 400 men with him; no assurance if this meant Jacob will be met with war or with peace. Jacob sent his gifts ahead and was left alone in the camp then the event that followed surprised me. I find the story of Jacob wrestling with God surprising because, well, what on earth was that? I was confused as to why God had a wrestling match with a human. The wrestling match even lasted until dawn. I thought a lot about that scene and I was trying so hard to understand its purpose because you know… God can just simply forgive Jacob and redeem him and give him his new name but a wrestling match really did happen. But upon deeper reflection, I have come up with two realizations:

I am also wrestling with God

There have been a lot of times when I find myself screaming and crying while praying to God because I was begging him to intervene and provide solutions to the problems I am facing. Sometimes those moments would last for weeks; I just kept on begging God to do something because my situation had become hopeless. Those were the moments that really felt as if I was also wrestling with God. And just like Jacob, I really wanted to get an answer from heaven so I stood firm in my prayers. Sometimes, God responds in the way I wanted to but there are also some moments wherein He provided a redirection.

2. We are never too damaged for God to save us

One of the things I have noticed in the world that we live in is that often one’s reputation precedes them; society seems to be unforgiving of people’s past acting as if perfection exists in humans. But thank God, it is not the same with Him. Jacob’s story proves that God is a loving and merciful God who is willing to extend His grace to those who truly repent and I am a testament to this. I am truly grateful that through Jesus, I was redeemed and I am hoping and praying that I would not waste this second chance given to me.

The character that I am familiar with: Moses (Exodus to Deuteronomy)

Moses is probably the most famous prophet from the Old Testament. If I will describe it in kpop terms, he is the face of the group or in NBA terms, he is the main star of the franchise. Moses’ role is one of the most important as he is the one used by God to free the people of Israel and establish the covenant. What makes Moses iconic is how relatable he is. I look at Moses and feel the assurance of God’s love and mercy. For a long time, I have looked at Moses as someone who is so great, someone you can define as a larger-than-life kind of person, in NBA terms the GOAT, but then fail to see that behind the great role is a man who was once lost. He was like that one lost sheep whom God decided to look for despite having 99 good ones. Moses is one of the proofs that God does not call the qualified but qualifies the called. He was wandering around the desert because he killed someone in Egypt and what might seem like already a dead end for him turned out to be just a stepping stone to something greater. He was able to start a new chapter while in the desert, he got married and had kids, but then God called him for a great mission. His entire arc is not just amazing but inspirational; a testament of God’s abundant grace, for sure.

The character that I never knew before: Josiah (2 Kings 22-23)

King Josiah was just one of the many people from the Bible that I am not familiar with. When I reached his part of the story, I was surprised at how young he was when he ascended the throne but his story became one of my favorites. Josiah is proof that you cannot let your past define your future. He proved that a person can break the generational sin by simply becoming a good person. I love how he refused to inherit the sins of his ancestors (his grandfather and father). I love that Josiah did not follow the sinful life led by his family and instead dedicated his life and leadership to God. Josiah is proof that we can do better. Also, Josiah is a great leader for he wanted his people to live life in accordance to the will of God. Josiah showed us that a great leader can make a difference for his people. He did the best he could and his story and his reign were one of the events from the Old Testament that I enjoyed reading. 

There is this famous Filipino saying “Kung ano ang puno, siya ang bunga” which means that the traits, attitudes, or values of one’s family can be inherited by their children and I have always hated that. It hurts every time people would tell me that I act like this or that because I inherited it from my father because I refuse to be associated with a horrible person. I know that I can do better and Josiah’s story gives me assurance. Just like Josiah, I refuse to inherit the toxicity of my family; where I came from does not define me. I am my own person and I refuse to be associated with those kinds of people; I am not perfect since I have a lot of things to work with in my own life but one thing is for sure, I will do my best not to become the monster I have fought with my entire life. And by God’s grace, I hope I can work on becoming a good person. 

The character that disappointed me: David (2 Samuel 11:1-27, 2 Samuel 12:1-25)

King David was one of my favorite people from the Bible. I love his entire story arc because of how “heroic” it was and I guess his humble beginnings was the first time, if I am not mistaken, the world witnessed an underdog story. I am very fond of underdog stories because their win is an inspiration for “smaller” people like me (just like how I loved the success stories of Miami Heat’s undrafted players). David, I believed, had the “perfect” character arc; he went from being a young shepherd to the King’s musician, to a warrior (after defeating Goliath, single-handedly), then finally becoming the King. His story was like the perfect cinematic experience however, it did not just end with him becoming a King. He ended up committing a sin that God Himself has to call him out through the prophet Nathan. I was disappointed in David because he already had it all yet it still was not good enough for him. I was disappointed with the lengths he went through just so he can get what he wants; he was responsible for Uriah’s death all because he wanted to get Bathsheba (Uriah’s wife) despite already having wives of his own. His action proved that humans, by nature, cannot be content and would always want to have more. However, this story line is more than just a story of how human’s greed can consume them as this also showed us how God’s mercy and grace is abundant. His story further showed us that when a person truly repents, then God can forgive you. This story of his gave us the message that while God is forgiving, He also makes sure that sins are not unpunished (Romans 3:23-24).

The character I end up seeing myself in: Jonah (Jonah 4:1-11)

The belly of a large fish is the first thing that comes to mind whenever I hear the name Jonah. I was familiar with his story but not with the full context of it; I only know that he was swallowed by a fish and then he prayed to God and his prayer was heard so he was vomited out by the fish back to the dry land. I never expected that I would enjoy my time reading his book. Out of the 12 minor prophets’ books, Jonah’s story seems like a “break time” from seriousness because instead of focusing on delivering prophecies, his story focused on his “detours” which eventually led him to obey what God had asked him to do. What makes his story even more enjoyable was that it was created in a satirical way - characters doing exactly the opposite of what was expected of them while God’s own prophet, Jonah, was doing everything you do not expect from a prophet (running away from God and then getting mad at Him). Anyway, after reading the book of Jonah, I had the realization that I am a Jonah too. Jonah’s “tantrums” about not accepting the notion of loving your enemies was exactly what I have been doing. It was difficult for me to comprehend why God welcomes everyone. It was difficult for me to know that even the people who hurt me would also receive the mercy and grace of God. Then I realized that if God’s mercy and grace are not abundant then I would not have been redeemed. Who am I to judge others? I was a sinner too. And if God can redeem me, He has every right to redeem others too. However, it is up to us if we are willing to truly repent and put on the work alongside our faith. In the end, this book teaches us to be compassionate and extend the same grace and mercy that God gives us. God’s love for His people is greater than the mistakes made. If we can truly repent, then we are deserving of God’s mercy. God’s love works wonders. 

The book that broke me: The Book of Job

This book hurt me to the point that I stopped reading the Bible for a while. It’s difficult to praise God while you are in misery. The entire book felt like a reflection of my own suffering so reading it became difficult. It felt as if the more I progressed in the book, the heavier my heart felt. And in the process of reading this book, I started questioning God again.

“Why do you allow suffering?” Those are the words I often ask God because as a fragile human, it is difficult to comprehend why and how a loving and merciful God would allow suffering in this world – especially when you see that most of the people who suffer are not even the bad ones. Every time I see the world’s biggest criminals, the politicians, living good lives and remaining unpunished for their crimes, my heart feels heavy as I realize how much I have suffered and why God allowed it. I started to think that maybe God enjoys seeing people suffer or maybe he plays favorites. I cannot fully understand why there is a need for God to test our faith when he knows that humans are fragile and cannot handle anything too much. Does testing one’s faith really make them strong? Because in my experience, my suffering did not make me strong, it just left me hurt and traumatized (with a few mental illnesses). Amid suffering, it is difficult to understand God’s greater purpose because our focus is on the pain. But that is expected, right? We are only humans. For a long time, after reading the book of Job, I closed my Bible and just gave myself time to reflect. The pain I felt was something I cannot fully describe and I cannot find the strength to go back to God – long story short, I fell again.

The time I spent away from God was quiet yet empty. I stopped praying and calling to God – it was as if I entered a room to get away from the chaos yet an uncomfortable silence enveloped me and I felt weaker than before. It was during this time that I realized that I am barking at the wrong tree. Why am I blaming God for everything when I am also responsible for my situation? And the biggest person to blame here is my human father (Yeah, I really have to emphasize the human part on this one because God the almighty father is not to blame here). But I guess my “sama ng loob” to God comes from knowing that He can save us from this misery yet I felt His silence more than His love. I can see what He can do for others so why can’t He do it for me too? Why is God not intervening and is just allowing us to suffer? It is crazy because I ended up remembering the famous Bible verses, Proverbs 3:5-6 and Matthew 6:31-32, and it finally dawned on me: despite the difficult circumstances, God had always provided for us. We always have food to eat and we still manage to pay our bills – yes, the crazy housing loan instigated by my stupid human father is still a problem but despite that God makes sure that we can still survive. I just must stand firm in my faith in Him. After all, this is the same God who had proven time and time again that He can make miracles happen: if God can part the red sea for Moses and provide manna for the people of Israel in the desert, if He can do all these miracles, then God can also save me and my family from this ruin – I just have to trust His timing. It will always be God’s timing, not mine.

The book that healed me: The Book of Daniel

If the previous book I have discussed hurt me, this book, the book of Daniel, healed me. I have found a different kind of comfort upon reading his book despite being familiar with his story. Daniel in the lion’s den was one of the most popular Bible stories that I have been hearing being repeatedly discussed in school (I studied in catholic schools) but reading his story, in full context, made me appreciate him more. Daniel became my comfort person. I have found a deeper admiration for him; I wish I can even be just half the person that Daniel is. He truly lived up the life of the faithful for he showed us how a real relationship with God should be. I love how Daniel stood firm in his faith and did not compromise just to not offend people. Sometimes, I am guilty of compromising my faith in God just so I can accommodate the earthly things. It made me ask myself this question: Why am I going to follow what the world says is right? I should live life according to God’s will, not to the world’s standards.  After all, earthly standards, created by humans not by God, would lead you to damnation.

Three words to describe Daniel are wise, courageous, and faithful. I would like to associate him with those three words because of the way he handled things. Daniel was a wise person as God gifted him wisdom. Daniel is courageous for he had the courage to stick to his principles; he did not allow himself to be “defiled” or become “unclean.” Even though Daniel knows that by refusing to eat the meal prepared for them by the King he could get in trouble, he stood firm in his principles. And when the decree to prohibit people to pray and worship God was enacted, Daniel still chose to pray. He did not allow his faith to be compromised. Daniel is faithful for he still praises God even though he was thrown in the lion’s den. He put all his trust in God and in return, God saved him.

Another inspiring thing from the book of Daniel is the story of his three friends, Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego, or the three Jewish men who were thrown in the fiery furnace. Just like Daniel, these three men were also captives from Jerusalem and were brought to Babylon. These three men were also like Daniel as they are wise, courageous, and faithful. Because they refused to bow down to the King’s image and worship the King, the three men were thrown in the fiery furnace as a punishment. This showed how they also stood firm in their faith in God and refused to compromise their faith. While they were inside the furnace, someone who “looks like a son of God” joined them. It was not clear if the fourth man in the fire was Jesus, an angel or God himself but the fact remains that they were not alone in their “punishment” I look at this as a symbolism or representation of how God is with us even in our lowest lows just like how he told Joshua: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9). Having the fourth “man” in the fiery furnace with them is proof of how God is close to the brokenhearted and provides comfort for us. Sometimes, we just focus too much on the pain that we fail to see how God is with us through it all. 

I have found healing in the book of Daniel because it showed that it is possible to become faithful to God despite of all the pain and suffering in this world. The book made me reflect that it is in learning to trust God more that would help me move past my default “panic mode.” Most of the time, my anxiety heightens because I keep on worrying about everything instead of remembering that I have God by my side. Personally, when things in my life get too much, I tend to “malfunction” instead of making my faith in God stronger; I allow the world’s pain to sway me away from God instead of holding stronger to my faith. And this is why Daniel, as well as Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego’s faith is admirable for they showed us how to stand firm and to fully trust God even if in hopeless situations. I fully realized now that when life knocks you down, it means you are in the perfect position to pray. 

Looking back, I cannot believe I was able to finish reading the entire Old Testament. I had my moments of confusion and hurt but there are also moments filled with love and assurance. The 39 books from the Old Testament, although they can be a bit overwhelming to read, are filled with life lessons which can help guide us as we navigate through life with God. We cannot fully understand God’s purpose for our lives if we do not know the history of God’s relationship with humanity. Also, the books of the Old Testament do not just tell the history of God and humanity, it is also filled with wisdom and prophecies which will always be relevant. And the most important thing is that the Old Testament is a way of introducing us to the savior sent by God to save humanity – His only begotten son, Jesus. I am excited as I move forward to the New Testament. I am excited to finally meet Jesus.

X,

TinaMae

[numinously-yours]

Hi, how are you?

I would like to know about my future partner, please.

I'm E ♎️

Hi there, E! Thanks for your request and letting me read for you.

We're going to look at your person and your relationship together. I pulled four cards and am also using the card on the back of the deck for the overarching 'theme'. Your cards are:

Nine of Pentacles

The Sun

Ten of Cups

Judgement reversed

And the back of the deck: The Star

This is such happy energy, E. It feels bright and content. We have the judgement in reverse, which we'll get to (and isn't BAD by any means), but overall it's lovely!

Starting with the nine of pentacles, your future partner is very self-sufficient and financially independent. They have worked hard to create this life for themselves. "Started at the bottom now I'm here" is repeating in my head. They are proud of the fruits of their labor. They both appreciate the simple things in life but also aren't afraid to splurge when they find something they really love/are excited about. Transitioning into the sun card, there is also mention of success here. Something I love is that, because this person knows how it feels to NOT have what they need, they are really appreciative of what they do have. Additionally, knowing they are financially stable allows them to feel free in all the other areas of life. They find positivity in things others might find mundane. They know how to embrace the fun side of things. And they know how to nurture the things that need a little extra love. Skipping the ten of cups (for now), we can look at that judgement in reverse. On the whole, your future partner is positive, confident, and happy. However, there are times when they experience a lot of self-doubt. There might be something in their past that affects their self-esteem every once and awhile and makes them question if this success will actually last. On the whole, I don't think this part of them overpowers them and they find their way back to being grounded pretty quickly.

NOW! The Ten of cups! This is both a mix of personality as well as your relationship. The ten of cups is all things harmony, alignment, divine love, and bliss. Because of this, while I don't know if it's your next partner (it could be, I legit just don't know), it does feel like a soulmate. The things that are important to the two of you in life are going to be really similar. You have the same values and want the same things. With things that you differ from each other on, they are still harmonious and make complete sense together. You feel whole when you are together. They make you appreciate things in life you hadn't noticed before. They will lead you back to your heart of hearts and create an amazing life together with you <3

Ending with the star is perfect, honestly. This person and your relationship with them is full of hope, faith, and love. Limiting beliefs that either of you have are so easily tossed out the window because of the belief you have in each other. You bring out the best in one another and, pun absolutely intended, light up each others lives <3

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book One Chapter 25

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book One

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 83k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: Every few centuries a hero is born—one chosen by the God Tiandi to carry out his will in the mortal realm. The Xiang. Whether it is to quell a war instigated by the forces of shadow—of Shakti herself—or whether it is the miasma that poisons the world, the Xiang is born to bring the world back into balance.

Shu Pangu Min knows what his purpose is and he does his best to fulfill it even if he doesn’t fully understand all of the details. He must travel from city to city—lord to lord—to clear out the miasma. Along the way, he is to enlist the aid of four disciples. Each is to be of a different country and each must have high resonance and deep faith.

The holy men who raised him have great confidence in his future successes and they leave him to begin his journey on his own. But, can Pangu live up to the expectations of those around him? Can he really save the land like all other Xiang before him or will his unconventional methods doom them all?

Full chapter 25 under the cut

Chapter XXV

The mayor regarded the group with a smile and plenty of enthusiasm. She was a petite woman with shorter hair and dark skin. Her openness toward the Xiang was a bit of a shock after traversing through Agni where many of the local lords looked to him with suspicion and demanded proof.

There was not much miasma in the city but still enough to require cleaning, however the mayor and her people were not worried about it since they had complete faith that the Xiang would come and help them.

The woman was so excited, in fact, that she set up for the ceremony to happen that night.

Pangu had never done one so late at night before though he wasn’t sure it would alter his approach all that much. The center of the city was lit up with lanterns and candles, illuminating the small stage and the immediate crowd.

He took a deep breath before starting his dance as everyone watched with anticipation. Kira easily sucked in the miasma around the area but he now felt eyes on him, boring into his sides. Both Raine and Baiya were staring at him.

“Are you doing it right now?” Raine asked, keeping his voice down.

“Yes. I need to concentrate so stop looking at me like that,” he mumbled right back.

Baiya crossed his arms and turned his attention back to the Xiang who continued to dance. Raine, on the other hand, stared at Kira with a frown. He wondered what it felt like—if it hurt. Based on what he’d overheard the other night, there was a physical element to the absorption.

“Wow,” a woman’s voice broke both of their focus.

All three of them looked over to see the priestess they’d met by the temple. She looked to Pangu and clasped her hands in front of her chest.

“Just amazing,” she said, “How lucky you three are to be able to travel with such a powerful figure… To be blessed by Tiandi and given abilities the likes of which I could only dream of.”

“You wish you were a disciple?” Kira asked, still drawing the miasma into himself but not as forcefully. There wasn’t much of it so he wasn’t too worried that he was not paying full attention.

“It would have been the greatest honor of my life,” she answered, only looking over at them for a second, “To serve Tiandi—through the Xiang—you must all feel so proud.”

“We’re just here for Pangu,” Baiya said bluntly, “I am not a very religious person myself.”

“Me neither,” Kira seconded.

“I am the only devotee here,” Raine said and offered the woman a smile, “But I have stayed more for Pangu than for any sacred duty to the Xiang or Tiandi.”

“You are his friends then,” she mentioned, sounding less enthused than before, “He did not pick those with high resonance and pious souls?”

“We weren’t friends before if that’s what you’re asking,” Kira mentioned and absorbed the last of the miasma. He turned to face her. “Pangu noticed high resonance in each of us and asked us to be his disciples because of that.”

“How is it that you can be faithless and have high resonance?” The priestess didn’t seem to understand. “That makes no sense to me.”

“Can you sense resonance yourself?” Baiya questioned and raised an eyebrow. Her accusations and doubts were not just jabs at them but Pangu as well. “If so, then you should be able to tell that we are not deceiving you.”

She shook her head. “I trust in the Xiang’s decisions. There is no possible way he chose people for the wrong reasons…” Her eyes shifted down before she said, “May you walk in the light, disciples.”

“I don’t think she likes us much,” Kira said once she had disappeared into the crowd. Baiya laughed immediately while Raine shook his head.

The next morning, they headed northeast—back toward Sun-Shi city. A mountain range stood between them and the city but, unlike in Agni, defined paths had been carved into the mountains that ran through Terra. As long as they stayed on the road, they would find safe passage through it.

Pangu’s three disciples sparred with one another, using their weapons rather that their elements. He had to get onto them when they suggested using elemental energies to fight with. It was too dangerous to use in that way and, thankfully, they all listened to him.

He still wished they would be careful with their blades but he also knew each of them had many years of experience in their respective weapon so it was much safer in that regard. Plus, they seemed to be having fun so he would leave them alone.

Pangu cut up some of the root vegetables for their dinner and occasionally flicked his eyes up to catch their training session. He smiled a little but then went back to the work at hand. He didn’t have much further to go before he could dump everything into the pot and leave it for a while so he cut a little faster. He was getting hungry.

Sudden movement from his peripherals caught his attention, however. Especially since it wasn’t anywhere near where his disciples were so it couldn’t be them.

Pangu looked up to the mountainside and saw the tail end of a creature as it retreated. It did not look like the usual wildlife at all though. He frowned and dumped the vegetables into the pot before standing. After brushing the dirt off of his robes, he took a few steps closer.

The animal was still in view but it was too far away to get a decent look at. He could tell, however, that it was small and fluffy. His best guess was a small bear.

He wasn’t even sure why he was so intent on following it but once he had a foot up on the mountain, he was too deeply invested to turn back. Once he pulled himself up to a ledge, he saw that the animal had, seemingly, been waiting for him.

It was a small bear—a panda bear more specifically.

Pangu grinned and cooed, reaching out to touch it. He had always wanted to see one as he’d only been shown artistic depictions and read descriptions in old adventurers’ logs. The animals were said to be shy and difficult to come across so he wanted to savor the encounter.

“Hey there,” he said and moved his hand closer so the bear could sniff him. “My name is Pangu. I can be your friend. Would you like to be my friend?”

The bear made eye contact with him before it’s mouth opened. “I know who you are, Xiang.”

Pangu yelped and fell backward. Though, instead of hitting the hard ground like he expected, he was met with cushy grass. He looked around, bewildered, as his scenery changed.

He was still on the side of a mountain but it was covered in the same soft grass that rested beneath him. The sky was a light purple color instead of the usual blue and more panda bears surrounded him. Some were small like the one he had chased up the mountain while others were even smaller—about the size of a domestic cat. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there were pandas as large as houses that loomed over him.

“What…? Where am I…?”

“Can you not tell, Xiang?” another panda spoke with the deep voice of man. “It is a realm only you can visit. You and the souls of the dead.”

“The spirit realm?” Pangu questioned and realized that it was the only logical answer. He would have thought of it sooner but the shock was still wearing off. “My mentors told me I would likely not see this place…”

“We found it necessary to contact you before your demise,” another panda said. This one sounded like an older woman.

“Why is it of such great importance to speak to me?” he asked and looked around at the pandas. It was incredibly difficult to tell which one was talking since, other than their size, they all looked exactly the same. He had a feeling he would only really notice when the big one spoke.

“Xiang, we wish to discuss the disciples you have chosen.”

He looked to his left and found one of the exceptionally small pandas. “Yes? What about them?”

It continued, “You must choose other people.”

“What?” Pangu frowned. “I cannot. Once the Xiang has chosen a disciple, unless they die before the mission is complete, they cannot choose another.”

“That is not…entirely true,” another panda said, “You can choose as many disciples as you wish but it is not wise to spread the gift of Tiandi so liberally.”

He shook his head—while it was fascinating to hear how some of his lesser understood abilities worked, he couldn’t get over their initial request. “What is wrong with my disciples? Why do you insist I choose others?”

“You must know,” the large panda finally spoke, “Your first disciple was a solid choice but, after him, you have made two wrong decisions.”

“Then why did Tiandi allow me to pick them?” Pangu asked and was met with silence for a long moment.

Finally, one of the smaller ones spoke up again, “He trusted you to make the correct decision.”

“But you did not,” another said.

“Xiang, you are consorting with dangerous types,” the large panda bellowed, “For your own safety and the safety of the world, choose other people for this job.”

“But they are loyal and have incredible resonance. Is it because they were criminals? Because they are not religious?” Pangu frowned and looked between the pandas. He did not expect to have a bad time surrounded by such cute creatures but, then again, they weren’t the real animals but spirits.

“Why do you defend them so?” One asked, sounding borderline irate.

“They are my friends as well as disciples. Besides,” Pangu responded and sighed, “Kira is helping me clear the miasma—I cannot do this without him.”

“Ah, yes, that was another point we wished to discuss with you,” one of the pandas that sounded like an old woman said.

“What is it?” he asked though he had a feeling of what they might say.

“It is your duty to absorb the miasma, Xiang. If you are not the one to do it then your mission will be a failure.”

“But as long as it is gone, then Shakti cannot win,” Pangu argued, “I realize I am not going about things the traditional way but it is working.”

“Your actions play directly into Shakti’s hands, you fool!” a small panda yelled.

“Have you no idea who travels with you?” A different panda asked with more softness to their voice.

“I do not know of what you speak,” Pangu said and shook his head.

“A threat awaits you on the other side of these mountains, Xiang. Face it and you may yet understand our concerns,” the first panda went back to talking, “If you do not make the right choice, there will be consequences for the entire world. Do not forget your place.”

In a flash, he was back by the pot of stew as if he had never gotten up to chase the panda at all. Pangu frowned and stood up, looking around in confusion.

“Pangu!?” frantic yelling could be heard from all three of his disciples in turn. They each called for him and their voices sounded far off.

“I’m over here!” he called out and cupped his hands around his mouth. “By the camp!”

It took a moment but the three men rushed over to him with relieved smiles on their faces. “What happened? Where were you?” Kira asked immediately.

“We looked all over the place,” Baiya explained.

“You vanished,” Raine added.

Pangu shook his head. “I…I went into the spirit realm. Accidently of course.”

All three of them stared at him for a second before Raine stepped closer. “What was it like? Did it look especially different from our world?”

“Not especially,” Pangu said with a smile. “The sky was purple and there were talking pandas.”

“Talking pandas?” Baiya asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, they were spirits but they took the form of pandas.”

“Did they offer you some sage advice then?” Kira asked, sounding a bit skeptical. Not of the fact Pangu went to the spirit realm but more of the idea that the spirits told him anything useful.

“They said there is danger waiting for us at the other side of the mountain.” Pangu bit down on his lip and considered telling them what else the pandas said. He knew Kira and Baiya both struggled with feeling like they didn’t belong with him and hearing the thoughts of the spirits would just strengthen those beliefs.

It could even cause them to leave. He could see it in his mind’s eye—the two of them abandoning him in the middle of the night, believing it to be in his best interest.

He didn’t want that. He couldn’t have that. So he kept the rest of the conversation to himself.

Raine had a lot more questions on the road but Pangu couldn’t answer most of them. He hadn’t seen much of spirit realm other than the green mountain, purple skies, and all the pandas. There had not been a dragon or a Holy bird flying through the sky which really seemed to disappoint the man.

“How about this?” Pangu suggested, “If I ever get pulled into the spirit realm again, I’ll go looking for a dragon.”

“I only wish I could have the opportunity to see it myself,” Raine said and sighed wistfully.

“You will. When you die.” Kira glanced over at him. “If you really believe in Tiandi and being welcomed into his spirit world.”

“Of course I do,” he responded and shook his head, “It is hard to picture though. Will I still be as excited by the concept once I am dead or will I be too distraught about my death to properly take it in?”

“Hopefully it is some time before you have to find that out,” Baiya said with a laugh. “I, for one, am perfectly happy with returning to a dark abyss upon my death. What a nice rest that must be.”

“That is extremely pessimistic, Baiya,” Kira replied with a snicker, “I did not expect you to be a believer in the void.”

He shrugged. “There is little to be pessimistic about. For me the void sounds like a long sleep which I see as peaceful.”

“You are all going to the spirit realm, do not worry,” Pangu said, shaking his head, “As my disciples, that is your final resting place.”

“But your bodies will be my playthings,” a voice sounded from the woods and each of them stopped.

“Excuse me?” Kira asked before dismounting his horse and heading for the source of the sound.

“Kira, wait,” Pangu called after him then followed his lead. He heard Baiya and Raine dismount behind him.

They all walked into the line of trees, most of them with their weapons drawn. “This must be the danger that the spirits warned Pangu of,” Raine stated.

“I am the Xiang’s worst nightmare,” they called out again but, this time, a body appeared from behind a tree.

“Chaaya,” Pangu accused. He could not see the man’s face well as he was wearing a full length, black cloak with the hood covering his head.

“That is correct,” the man answered and chuckled, “I have been chosen by Shakti to replace her failure of a Chaaya.”

“Failure?” Raine questioned. “There was another one?”

The Chaaya cackled before pointing his pale finger toward them. “You should know better than any who was first chosen by the Goddess of shadow. Who was gifted the power of darkness and death but who threw it all away to play at being a savior.”

They all glanced at each other and then back to the hooded man.

“Stop your lies! I will strike you down in one fell swoop,” Raine warned.

He ignored the threats and continued on. “Kira, my predecessor, why don’t you use the powers given to you by Sha-kali, the second mistress of shadow, to combat me? Show your beloved Xiang who you really are.”

[madchild-dennis]

I feel like I could CRY...

ok remember this:

No let's talk about THIS POST:

NO LET'S FOCUS ON THIS:

______________________________________________________________

Wait I'M TOO EXCITED. I need to focus. Let me start again:

You see in the following post. I said I am ONLY ONE PERSON and how God wants me to focus on the Queen stuff:

ONE OF THE BIGGEST THING ABOUT THE QUEEN THING IS:

I AM ONLY ONE PERSON & IT'S A LOT OF WORK

You see with the Queen thing it requires FULL FAITH at this stage. I mean, I have been doing it for a VERY LONG TIME. I have to do it ALL ALONE. I have to design a palace, crown jewels, plan businesses, plan prosperity (for my people and not my people who fall under who are to get reparations), plan events, plan holiday and SO MUCH MORE.

I was doing it ALL alone while:

1/2 hungry sometime,

have no where to live or have to find somewhere else to live

manipulated

attacked by my parents, their friends or their minions

being attacked by military

Try to protect myself

God warning me of OTHER ATTACKS.

Raheem & his mother's BULLSHIT.

and MUCH MORE.

HOW THE FUCK WOULD I GET SHIT DONE? I had NO ONE.

Yes I already had a personal private secretary in line. But I had to FIGHT HER TOO, sometimes. I said so here:

I understand. Because I AM the one in faith on God for these thing. I can't force or get others to see what I see or know what I know on this journey until God does his thing. So I don't blame her. So I do NOT see her sacrificing her livelihood in faith like I did. Plus I understand if on her spare time or any time I would need her help in the Queen, faith and can't find it. That's because I would be lbindly asking her to believe in what she may not believe. If there was money, then there is no need for faith. But I do NOT have money so every one or anyone who would be helping me NOW would require FAITH

However, I see some changes these past few weeks. Small but significant. I ABSOLUTELY appreciate it. However I do not think it's fair to ask her to do more with good conscience as she has LOT'S of responsibility. So I appreciate it, but will continue to keep it at a minimum.

HOWEVER THE EXCITING NEWS:

I HAVE SOMEONE TO HELP ME. He may be focused on the business side of things. BUT IT'S HELP NONE THE LESS IN FAITH

LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHH

It's significant because my spider web:

is being worked on professionally.

I think I can say, I'm starting to move from:

GOD FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU

and start to say:

Okayy God....let's seee...

It's NOT a full turn around, BUT it's cautiously significant. I can't say I completely on the QUEEN THINGS, because it's ALL exhausting especially by myself. BUT, I'm seeing changes. So I'll bite but NOT FEAST. I need to see the significant changes like people being charged and imprisoned for the fuckery they did to me. Changed behaviour and start to RECEIVE; not plan to receive or claim in faith. FULL ON RECEIVE promised SHIT. Then you see full turn around. (but I'm NEVER claiming Christianity as long as I live)