#howdy is a malewife

[thejestersnight]

your honour, may i show you: them

[clownsuu]

OH NO HOME IS A DILF 😳

I think he’s more legally considered a Gilf KDHHDHDH

[evillillad]

he took a surprise day off :o)

[goob1enerd11]

if howdy has a million fans I am one of them if howdy has zero fans I am dead

[tempestuous-tempest]

Red Dead Redemption Characters as Funny things I've Heard/Vines:

Arthur: Cant mansplain, manipulate, malewife or manwhore my way out of this one...

John: Time for manslaughter.

----------------

Arthur: Hey, who's got my hat?

John: *Wearing Arthur's hat* Look, I'm Arthur, "Howdy, Howdy, Howdy."

Arthur: Haha, give me that.

--------------

Charles: Now insert rod a into slot b.

Lenny: That's what-

Charles: If you say "that's what she said" one more time, I'm going to pop you.

--------------

John, to Jack: Now honey, you're getting a little older, you gotta start acting your age.

Lenny: The ground is Lava!

John: *Jumps onto a fallen log* HAHA YOU'RE IN LAVA!

------------

Sadie: Never have I ever, kissed a girl.

John: Pfft

Javier: Who hasnt kissed a girl?

Lenny: *Tearfully* I havent kissed a giiiirl...

----------

Charles: Dude it smells like updog in here

Sean: What's up dog?

Charles: *Points to Cain on the balcony* That.

[afterhourswjay]

HI JAY! Ive been sick for like a week now so it got me wondering... how would Thoma Ayato Itto and wanderer take care of the reader when they are sick? (SFW, HEADCANON) I NEED THE MALEWIFE OR DOTING PARTNER ENERGY 😞😞😞😞❤️❤️❤️

Howdy, Kichi!! That sounds like it sucks! I'm also really, REALLY, sorry for how late this is!! I haven't had the motivation to write as of late (・・；) I've also been kinda sick myself

Drown in soup, but not literally

the reader is sick, and requires bedrest to get better. how does their partner help them out??

characters: Thoma, Ayato, Itto, and Wanderer warnings:

Thoma

goes full nurse on you

when he hears that your not feeling well, he immediately ushers you off to bed. you don't need to worry about any of your obligations, as he'll make sure to take care of them to the best of his ability

if you're sick with the flu, then he's making sure that your keeping food and fluids down

if you got a simple head cold, then he's not nearly as worried which is saying a lot

he really loves you and doesn't like the fact that theres only so much he can do to help you feel better

he gets really scared if your unable to keep stuff in your stomach

i feel like you'd be pretty good friends with ayato and ayaka, so they'd be more than willing to contact some of the best doctors on your behalf for some of the best medicine they can afford

ngl, he's super worried about you

if he notices your uncomfortable, tired, or really anything other than rested and comfortable, he'll try his best to help you out

do you need more pillows or blankets? are you hungry or thirsty? are you bored, perhaps??

makes you the best meal when your finally feeling better

probably takes you out for an evening walk as well, since you haven't really been moving while sick

definitely hovers around you a lot more for about a week or 2 after you've recovered before he eases up

he knows that getting sick is just part of life, and that it happens to everyone, but that doesn't mean he won't still worry about you

Kamisato Ayato

ngl, i feel like his attention is already split between all his responsibilities that he doesn't notice you feeling unwell at first

once he does notice, however, than he's ushering you off to rest for the time being

he doesn't want to see you trying to do any work until your feeling well

you two have been living together as a way to make it easier for him to protect you from any attempts at people trying to kidnap you for ransom

has the staff bring you anything you may need on days where he's particularly busy

he's not the best cook, either, so he has his staff cook the best foods for someone whos feeling under the weather

spends any of his spare time in your room with you

some times he'll even bring his paperwork in with him so that he can spend time with you but also get some stuff done hint: hes too worried about you to work on his stuff

your condition worsens into the flu before you start getting better

by the time your feeling better, you've pretty much got a mountain of blankets and pillows on your bed

he asks you what you want to eat a day or so after confirming with a doctor that you are officially recovered

Arataki Itto

you were taking a couple days off from taking commissions from the adventurers guild, deciding to spend it with your boyfriend arataki itto

the two of you were running around the whole of inazuma, collecting lavender melons and catching onikabuto beetles

you and itto had gotten caught in a downpour, having to book it across the beach to some makeshift and rather run down huts

why the two of you chose to come to koseki village, you'll never know

but, after the downpour passes, you two head back to your waverider and then back to inazuma city

wet clothes forgotten about due to the rest of the arataki gang having gotten into a little trouble with the guards, you proceed to talk to them while kuki shinobu chews out everyone

eventually, like. close to sundown, your able to make your way to your home to change out of your still damp clothes

you catch a cold the day after, having full body shivers

with practically no word from you for a few days has the whole gang worried for your wellbeing, and they practically break into your home

when you wake up, all bleary eyed from sleep, your met with the group surrounding your bed

after explaining you just have the chills, and are fine for the most part, the most of them leave to go do what they do most days

however, itto sticks around, keeping you company

he does also apologize for the fact that you got caught in the rain a few days ago

you immediately tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about, unless he can control the weather and intentionally made it downpour on the two of you

you then get out of bed, giving him a hug, and then meander off to your kitchen, asking him to help you make some soup

Wanderer

whenever you start being sucked down by depression, you tend to push yourself to work harder

and, often times, this leads you to neglecting your own needs

he may not be the best boyfriend, what with having to sort through his past and his feelings, but he does try his best

he's also hella observant. while he may not comment on everything, hardly anything is able to get past him

so, he makes a mental note every time you add another commission onto your growing list of commissions

he starts to grow annoyed with you when, instead of stopping to take a break for lunch that, you decide to just eat lunch on the way to your next commission

you don't really know what you did to upset him, but kuni seems to start making what your brain interprets as snide comments towards you sometimes

it isn't until your body decides to rebel against you and you fall sick when you realize that he wasn't really making snide comments towards you, thats just how your tired brain interpreted it

he was trying to warn you about pushing yourself to do more than what your body could handle

kuni doesn't really let you do anything until your recovered from being sick

he puts you back on a proper schedule, making sure you get 3 meals a day, all easy on your stomach as to not make you feel worse than you likely already are

he also puts you on a proper sleep schedule, making sure you get between 8-10 hours of sleep a night

kuni's surprisingly nice while your sick. he knows how much more sensitive you are to his usual comments during times like these so he saves the lectures for when your back to feeling 100% better

its ok, tho. he's back to being mean, and more than makes up for it by basically dragging you all over sumeru and inazuma for ascension materials

[im-just-screaming]

Im autistic drunk and gay so Here are my Welcome Home headcanons

Wally

Would fail His drivers liscense die to accidentally eatimg the Steering wheel because Hes nervous

He accidentally eats Shit when startled

Ragdoll when it comes to emotions

Autism

Hates thunder

Transguy and i will die on this hill

Barnaby

The Mom friend™

100% a stoner

That Linda friend thats helping you in a breakdown with a 'thats tough Buddy' but in an endearing way

Tiddie squeeze hugs

Sally

She gets her Weed from barnaby

Awnsers you in Musical quotes

Has Seen the Guy who didnt Like Musicals a hundert times

ADHD as its finest

Definitly the light of the Waffelhouse after Produktion party

Julie

Audhd

Sometimes Just yells Out loud for No reason

Gets distracted fast unless its about smth she cares

Clumsy

Probably has Drive Wally Up a Wall before

Eddie

Malewife energy

Has nothing against Weed but doesnt want it Close to him

Will cry at the slightest inconvieniece(i cant spell)

Good at Holding hands

I swear to GOD i wanna give him a huh and Tell him everythings gonna be fine

Frank

Autism Times 9000

Got the smart people autism AND the Rage outbursts outism

If you ask him about Butterflies He will without a Pause Tell you EVERYTHING he knows

Sally and Barnaby got him to smoke some Weed sometimes and all they GOT Out of him was a 5 hour lecture about butterflies

Poppy

Im literally sobbing

I want her to huh me and Tell me everythings gonna be fine

The Mom friend ™™

Always has Cookies ready for you

Good listener

Reacts panicked at any News you give her

Subaru mom

Howdy

Idk He gives me Landlord vibes

Sometimes He Just gives Shit away If you make him laugh

Idk His vibes are Off for me

[hiseternalmayfly]

🤞Promo Post 🤞

Howdy I'm Ember. Around here I'm known as the girl who never stops talking about my wonderful malewife Vash the Stampede!

⭐25 years old. Pansexual. She/They

⭐Main F/O's are Vash the Stampede, Millions Knives and Raiden Ei

⭐Writer of OC/SI x Character fics!

⭐Not comfortable sharing Vash, however there are exceptions! Details found in pinned post.

⭐Please read through my entire pinned post before following/interacting!

⭐Pinned post here!

⭐Don't hesitate to talk to me I love discussing F/O's and ideas!

"Now! Repeat after me! This world is made of...Love and Peace!"

[birthcomehome]

so because it's almost Halloween what costumes would all the parents dress there kiddos?

Oh of course!! How I see it depending on each ship.

BarnabyWally: Really depends on the kids interest of course, but to keep it as 70’s as possible. I picture either The Sargent Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, lil devils like their mama, or zombies to give a spook!

EddieFrankHowdy: Howdy wanted to give a boring costume, a ghost costume which is just a blanket cover but Frank says no to that. I picture specific bugs or lil vampires. Eddie wanted one of them to be a mailman.

WallyHowdy (tfw that apple thief is now asking for child support): Howdy asked Wally to do lil ghosts but said a big ol nope and went with lil devil outfits.

PoppyJulieSally (I know it isn’t mpreg and idgaf, I want to give the girlypops love too): I love to imagine lil witches or lil pumpkins!!

WallyJulie (malewife but literal): Lil devils and witches!!

BarnabyJulie (bro is going Pokémon malewife edition): Lady and the tramp!

Also I don’t ship Sally w the other male characters bc my main ship is w Poppy and Julie, and Julie just w Barnaby and Wally lmao.

[doorintosummer]

┇HOWDY!!

Aight, I dunno who still actively follows me here, but due to recent Twitter Events™️ I am dusting off the cobwebs on my blogs in the hopes of using them again more! 

In case you’re like “ummm, who are you again??”, let me remind you! I’m Sen! He/they! I like Mighty the Armadillo! I do art! I go by mightysen most places, and here on tungle dot com that specific url will take you to my art only blog. This account is my cozy personal account where I mostly reblog what I love and talk about whatever the hell I feel like. If you need more info on me and this blog, check out my about and links pages. And let it be known: yes, I am dating chongoblog, he is my cringefail malewife. <3

I look forward to interacting with y’all soon!!

Here’s a doodle of my character Rem waving you all welcome! 

[edgydadster]

Again!!! :D Tom&Edd plus,,,, uhhHHHHhhhhhh hmm Cy

Well howdy stranger never seen you before!

Edd

Sexuality: AROACE KIINNGGGGGGGG

Gender: Male. ur/mom

Ship: Edd x Cola

BROTP: Tord I already stated this

NOTP: idk

Random Headcanon: Has commission prices way too low

General Opinion: LOVE EDD! He's just a chill guy who wears bunny slippers and says your mom too much for his own good

Tom

Sexuality: I forgot the term for it but the thing you're attracted to objects

Gender: Male guitar/fucker

Ship: Tom x Susan

BROTP: Again with Edd they're bros in love in a no homo way

NOTP: tomtord :)

Random Headcanon: Has stuck his dick in the hole of his bass at least once

General Opinion: I like him! His Cyril energy's pretty sweet I like characters like that. I relate too much to music based edgy people. He's fun. I like the balance of edginess and funniness to his character. Holy lines are everything

Cyclops

Sexuality: Bisexual (aliensexual)

Gender: Male pronouns mommy/issues

Ship: THE GIRLBOSS MALEWIFE OF THE CENTURY CYCASS I THINK THAT'S OBVIOUS LMAO

BROTP: Spike and Cy :)

NOTP: uh. idk. Probably Cy and Hanzou with their kinda father-son dynamic

Random Headcanon: Ah damn hard to not put something dark in here but it wouldn't fit the whole haha thing I got going on here man... He owns like 3 shirts total. He's smelly and is too lazy to buy more

General Opinion: GAH I LOVE CYRILLLLLL!!!! HE'S SO!!! sorry. I relate to him so I love him more. He's a big sweet guy just hidden behind bars of edginess and I love that. Music nerd (same bestie) in love with alien women (same bestie but /platonic i'm taken<3) and UGHHH. He's a pathetic stinky creature.He gives wet dog energy and we love that for him. Stupid ugly pathetic good-for-nothing poser /affectionate

Sorry this is kinda quick I wanna go to bed lol I'm eepy

[ghostlyplacetobe]

He’s just not used to it. Aren’t you my wittle malewife :333 -Olivia

😵‍💫 -Howdy

Sorry Howdy -Wally

Hehe

[evillillad]

casual bodega pda god their so gross about it too not in a makeout way but in a please just stop it with the puppy dog love GOD DAMMIT

can i PLEASE just marry him already

[eldritchships]

I don’t even have a plan for my Guilty Gear s/i, I’m just vibing with the idea of being a cowboy. I don’t think I even want him to have a move-set he might just be an NPC side character

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxii - curiosity killed the cat

<< previous | masterlist | next >>

??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

The three remaining boys, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho rushed downstairs to see what the commotion was all about. Though they were nervous, they were also curious and they were not going to be the only ones left behind with the information.

But when they stepped onto the living area, they were confused at the sight upon them.

San and Wooyoung were nowhere to be found, Yeosang had a look of utter surprise which was a rare sight, a teary Jongho was standing next to Mingi who was fully crying, and in front of them was a person clad in a black hoodie and a pair of black sweats. The person's back was to the three so they didn't know who it was.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Hongjoong asked with all the strength he could muster. The others who stood in front of the person clad in black could only look at the leader but weren't able to utter a single word.

Slowly, the unknown person turned their body towards the three. All eyes widened and their breaths hitched, the sight before them was just too confusing to comprehend.

"What are you doing here?" Hongjoong asked.

"And who are you?" Yunho added.

The person took his hood off to reveal a man around their age, charming with a glint of playfulness as he smirked at them.

But before he could introduce himself, Mingi had beaten him to the punch, "this is (Y/N)'s cousin who also studied here," he said. The man nodded and grin widely, "Howdy, I'm Haknyeon," he then stuck his hand out for any of the three to shake, "Joo Haknyeon, pleased to meet your acquaintance,"

Before either one of the three could shake his hand, however, Mingi lunged forward to try and grab at Haknyeon's sweater. Luckily, Yeosang and Jongho managed to hold the larger guy back.

"Skip the pleasantries, Haknyeon, and tell them what you told us" he growled. Haknyeon only raised an eyebrow and smirked in amusement, "wow, (Y/N) was right when she said you're a ticking time bomb. No one is ever THAT happy, ever tried counselling, big guy?" he poked.

Then he turned around to the three still confused boys with a distraught expression, "It's about (Y/N)," he started.

"Oh God," Yunho yelped out, his hand immediately gripped onto the arm of the closest person which was Seonghwa.

"What about (Y/N)?" Seonghwa asked, voice cracking from nerves. Haknyeon looked like he didn't wanna talk, but the hopeful eyes in front of him struck something deep in him, "she... left," he said.

"Yeah, she left us, we know that," Yunho clarified, "no, she... LEFT left," Haknyeon stressed.

The boys behind Haknyeon let out choked out tears once again as the Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho felt like their world just shattered.

San and Wooyoung came back from the kitchen, San looking dishevelled and distraught as Wooyoung tailed after him, looking more or less the same but not worse.

"Tell me where she went," San demanded once he fully stood in front of Haknyeon. He was about to grab the stranger's hoodie in his hands but Wooyoung luckily prevented him.

Haknyeon took a step back from San to evade being grabbed, "can't do that, sorry, I promised her," he shrugged simply.

By this point, you could feel the tension in the room. The once sorrowful boys now had veins popping on their foreheads and they seemingly had their brains connected as they took a step towards Haknyeon together. The intruder was cornered in the middle of eight menacing men.

"See, Haknyeon, I told you sticking to the script would've been better,"

All nine heads snapped towards the direction of the kitchen where you stood, hands on your waist and your luggage and bag by your side.

Haknyeon grinned innocently and shrugged, "And where would the fun be there?" he joked, slipping himself from between the boys towards you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and grinned widely at the eight now-dumbstruck men, "If you guys haven't figured it out, I was kidding, (Y/N)'s perfectly fine and she's back, she just needs my help to slip in here as a distraction while she slipped from the back," he said proudly.

But the silence in the room was deafening. Neither one of the boys reacted whatsoever. If you look closely, you're sure that neither of them was even blinking.

Seeing and feeling the tension, Haknyeon cringed and pat your head softly, "yeesh, tough crowd. I'll let you handle them on your own," he said simply before leaving from the back door where you came.

When the door closed behind Haknyeon, you finally realized that you now have to face the consequence of your action.

Luckily, you didn't have to break the silence.

"(Y/N)? Is that really you?" Jongho choked out, surprisingly. Out of everyone there, you thought the first ones to welcome you would've been Mingi, San, or Wooyoung, or even Seonghwa.

A smile broke on your face and your shoulders slumped in relief, "Yeah, it's really me, Ho,"

You were about to take walk towards them all when Yeosang stepped forward with a hand outstretched, motioning you to stop.

"You think you can just easily walk in here and we would just so easily accept you back?" he spat out.

Your feet stopped in its track and your heart dropped to your stomach.

"Accept me back? What do you mean accept me back, was I ever rejected by you all?" you couldn't help but ask, feeling like Yeosang didn't mean what he said.

But you were dead wrong.

"You left out of the blue, without any explanation, leaving us scrambling around like headless chicken looking for you. YOU rejected us first," he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, "I didn't reject you guys- oh my God, I had to get away from here for a while and I couldn't tell any of you! I didn't have time because I was pressed, FORCED to leave and having to keep my mouth shut about everything, I was miserable when I left," your voice cracked on its own mid-sentence without you realizing.

A scoff left Yeosang's mouth, "No one forced you to do anything, (Y/N), you LEFT, you CHOSE to do that all on your own," he turned a bit to point at Mingi, Wooyoung, and Jongho, "You left those three crying their eyes out for you, there wasn't a day when Mingi wouldn't actively go out to look for you with one of the others, do you know that your former RA almost got his ass tied to a restriction order?" he then moved again to point at the three oldest, "Hwa hyung and Yunho barely ate, too stressed to even keep food down, Hwa hyung had to take medicine for the toll of stress on his body and Joong hyung barely went out of his room, he tried to distract himself from the fact that you left without saying anything, some of us had to force him to eat and sleep,"

Then suddenly he gripped onto San's hand and brought him forward. Your heart broke at how sunken San looked, bags under his eyes and he seemed visibly smaller and weaker, "and San here got so depressed that he wasn't able to function whatsoever. I had to make sure he got out of his bed and move around every day or else I'm sure that he would've died," Yeosang's voice cracked as tears began streaming down his eyes.

Yunho took a step forward and look around at everyone, "G-guys, let's calm down a bit-"

But he was cut off by Yeosang who had let his emotion took over him completely.

"You left us! You left us broken-hearted and confused and lonely and ruined! So no, you don't get to waltz here so easily, thinking that we'd just accept you with open arms after the crap you pulled. If you wanted to be a wandering tramp, then why even bother coming back? Did you get bored out there? Or were your conquest turned out to be a failure? We were genuine about you, yet you simply shrugged us off like dust," he screamed at you.

You didn't even realize that your own tears had run down your own face. You looked around for the other boys for help, but neither one were looking at you. They were actively avoiding your stare.

Seeing Yeosang's chest heaving heavily with lips trembling, Seonghwa took a step closer to him and pulled him back slowly.

"Yeosang, come on, man, not like this. Not now. Let's take a deep breath first, okay?" he said softly despite his own obvious bubbling emotion.

Maybe it was the raw emotion and the vulnerable state Yeosang was in, but he simply let Seonghwa drag him back slowly until they both retreated to the stairs.

One by one, starting from Jongho then Hongjoong and Wooyoung, then San slowly followed whilst keeping his eyes glued to the floor, they all left you. Your heartbeat quickened when you watched their retrieving figure, backs towards you so coldly.

Not that you could blame them, Yeosang made a point about you leaving just like that without any notice.

All that left were Yunho and Mingi.

As they looked at each other, you could see that they were debating whether to welcome you or not.

Your hope was immediately crushed as they simply gave you a broken-hearted stare and followed the other six, disappearing to their own rooms.

So all that's left was you, out in the open.

All alone.

Vulnerable.

How you wish you could turn back time and changed your decision.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @spacechubbyatiny @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy @fashi0nablee @rindomo @violetwinters @nabihwa @linhyyboo12 @mirror-juliet @bestboiericsohn

[dracwife]

[ dubstep seinfeld theme ]

howdy. im dex, and i have an inexplicable southern accent at times.

im also a selfshipper, 21, and a he/they gnc king.

i love horror, classic film, and awful sequels; the saw franchise and theme parks are my special interests, but i tend to post a lot of ask games and selfship memes as well since i can't coherently convey feelings for my f/os, of which there are. so many of. <3

my brand is loving old men and having an intimidating aesthetic, but really im just a malewife -- mostly to charles xavier, james wilson, sam beckett, and william easton, but i can also be your weird musical, horror, or just generally bad taste mutual 🔪

i also play a lot of viddey games and am a slut for fixing unfixable men <3 i write a lot and occasionally draw, moots can always hmu for trades!

anyways come join my cult friendly group of friends :) and let's be pals [ carrd ]