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Crafting a Personality and Capitalising on it
How do we craft a personality that is socially charming yet true to our roots?
How do we mingle and meet new people without feeling awkward or shy about it?
How do we not lose ourselves while following all these blah blah etiquette rules?
Welcome to part 2 of my Chic Girl Mentality series. 🤍
Today, we will focus on crafting a personality that is still you but better.
First, let’s talk about people in social settings. You’ll meet people who are confident, secure and socially charming. You’ll meet quiet people who may be equally socially charming or just very shy and conscious. You’ll meet the braggers and the doe-eyed followers. There’s a lot of different types of people in the world and knowing how to gracefully navigate most of them is nothing but a learned art.
People, regardless of their bank balance, are insecure of what they do not have yet. This can be looks, money, experience, lifestyle, and so on. How do we capitalise on this without exploiting or manipulating anyone?
By knowing how to tell a story.
That doesn’t mean that you need to become a public speaker or politician, it just means that you need to be able to craft intriguing stories about yourself, using your own life and experiences, to “sell” an interesting version of you socially. We’re all interesting people but only a few of us know how to say that we’re interesting without saying that we’re interesting.
Experience
People, even those with money, will always be more attracted to those who have experiences, especially, unique ones. Whether it’s travelling to exotic locations or trying new culinary destinations, or wearing unknown designers, knowing obscure artists or writers, or being at the top of your industry… experience is the most important thing to cultivate first. You already have experience. If you went to school, high school, college, joined clubs, your first job, any travelling, etc - these are all experiences.
Make a list of 5 of the most interesting experiences you think you have.
Hobbies and interests
Have a couple of lowkey hobbies that you feel enthusiastic about. Whether it’s doing some charity work on Sundays, or cooking, or pottery, whatever it is, keeping a hobby is healthy.
There should be something to you that an acquaintance can remark about: “CSB? Oh yes, I’ve heard that she’s a great dancer.”
Vulnerabilities
Certain vulnerabilities must never, ever be shared. It will 100% be used either as gossip or blackmail.
However, coming across as someone with no weaknesses is rather untrustworthy- it makes the other person feel that you’re clearly hiding something.
Make a list of vulnerabilities that are small and you don’t mind sharing. These should be vulnerabilities that will never ruin your reputation in any form but can be used as a form of bonding with empathy.
And make a list of hard core vulnerabilities you know you should never share with anyone. Keep it memorised rather than written down.
Experience + Hobbies or Interests + Safe Vulnerabilities = Personality
Storytelling
Now that you have some experience, hobbies, interests, and your “safe” vulnerabilities sorted even if it’s limited - what will make it stand out is the art of storytelling. Some storytellers can make even the most mundane experiences sound magical - it’s all in the words and delivery. There’s a reason why every Holy Book is a story, packed with lessons and morals - it’s impactful, easy to remember and recall and relatable. Craft your experiences into stories. Use those 5 experiences that you noted down and start writing them down as stories.
Take up an online storytelling class or watch videos. Start honing this skill by writing and reading good literature.
Refine your 5 experiences further. Run it through chatGPT, say them out loud and most importantly- start testing them out on people. See what makes them chuckle and what doesn’t; what makes them empathise and what doesn’t.
A famous comedian whose name I can’t remember does the same thing. He creates his set. He goes to a small pub and tries it out on the audience there. And the first set is always the first. The audience may not laugh at his jokes, they might boo him or sometimes, he might get a laugh out of them. But every time, he goes home and refines his set further. Once his set is fully refined, and he accomplishes his goal of the audience peeling with laughter at every joke, that’s when he goes on national TV / on tour etc etc.
The most important thing is to craft your stories of your experiences in a way that it delivers the value you want the person to remember about you.
For instance, if I want to be seen as creative and innovative, I won’t tell the person in front of me, “oh, I’m soo innovative and creative!”
Rather I will weave that into a story. “When I was 24, at my first job in the advertising space, we were losing clients left and right. And one weekend, I was on a trek on the mountains - it’s one of my hobbies - this idea hit me, and I suddenly knew exactly how to get our clients back. My team was hesitant about my idea, and we got a lot of pushback, but we went ahead. The night before my launch I was so nervous, I got hardly sleep. And you won’t believe it, but the idea worked! The response was fantastic.”
Let the other person come to the conclusion of you being innovative and creative. Human beings love to deduce things and jump to conclusions and provided you set the context the right way, you should be able to project the version of you that is the best part of you.
Vocabulary
A sign of a good education- even if you don’t have it - is a diverse vocabulary. I’ve always had a little more respect and awe for those who are articulate, can speak smoothly and speak confidently. I’ve noticed that my American friends, for instance, tend to talk fast with lots of filler words, and sentences tend to end with a pitch up instead of down, which to me indicates hesitation or indecision. Speaking slower, ending your sentences with pitch going down to indicate a full stop rather than up makes you seem like a refined speaker even if your subject is utterly stupid.
Body language and mannerisms, social interaction
Watch old classic Hollywood movies to really understand this - especially romantic ones. Choose ones with a femme fatale or siren-like female lead, and watch how she enraptures the male lead or the audience around her.
A combination of fantastic storytelling and body language will take you places beyond your dreams. Some of the biggest frauds, scammers, politicians, criminals are also some of the best storytellers. Humans are attracted to stories, we pick up body language intuitively, we can sense when someone is nervous or isn’t. Unfortunately the world isn’t a kind place and will not necessarily help you out of your shyness- in fact, that might just make you the best target for exploitation.
Storytelling + Vocabulary + Body Language = Your Best Personality
#c suite#personal growth#productivity#powerful woman#ceo aesthetic#getting your life together#balance#strong women#that girl#Personality#building a personality#level up#level up journey#glow up#socialising#social settings#how to talk#how to be popular#how to change#how to be interesting#Siren
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the worst part about reading books that deal with mental health and like disorders is that the characters always just know how to comfort the one who's suffering. like wdym "just because i've found this out about you means that you're not the person who's comforted me every single time I fought with my parents. that is who you are, I know you. now I just know that you're hurting more than anyone realised. you're not different we still love you" like yes but irl who's gonna say that perfectly????? no but maybe I'm a terrible friend but if someone said that I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was, I'm NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING COMFORTING VERY EASILY. wdym an 18 yr old knows exactly how to comfort another 18 ye old
WHAT. BECAUSE I WOULD BE OH YEAH NO YES I DONT KNOW TOURE FINE I STILL LOVE YOU. YES COOL COOL COOL COOL COOL cool. take care bbye ly
#mental health#books#marauders fanfiction#fanfic#mental illness#positive mental attitude#how to talk to people#how to talk#comfort#im clueless#truly
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Art juice gone so just thonking
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I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences
#youd think thisd happen at least a little bit#I love stuff in fantasy where they'll occasionally talk about how weird humans are. it comes up a few times in the story but honestly I do#love it a lot. especially that troll stuff I thought that was pretty cool#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#chilchuck tims#arts#GODAMN IT I SPELT HIS NAME WRONG I KNEW I SHOULD HAVNT HAVE RUSHED THE DIALOUGE
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Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)
#well its 5 am but i DID IT#sorry i just thought about how bill turns red when hes mad and had a Vision#i actually really love how this came out. maybe i AM a good artist sometimes#doc talks#my art#bill cipher#gravity falls#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#book of bill spoilers#gravity falls spoilers#the axolotl#undescribed
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really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever
#she’s CORNY. getting DEEPLY silly with it sorry#coworker on the other end is like#that’s great now can we talk about how we r going to fit this crazy insane installation into our schedule#bslc#digital art#x
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It's in the eye of the beholder
#comic#birds#my art#I've had this idea for a while#after a lecture that talked about how traits we consider cute are traits found in babies#I feel like birds would have a very different definition of cute from us#anyway after making the bird tutorial I feel the pressure to draw perfect bird anatomy#but tbh I still just wing it a lot of the time!!#hehe “wing it”
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cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"
#more beautiful quotes from the beautiful man include#'sorry for crying talking about getting fucked in the ass makes me so...how you say....nostalgic'#and#'i am so sad you have diseases i want to exchange blood. with you“#t'adore that fucker
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#bluesky#bluesky out of context#overheard#coolrich.bsky.social#united healthcare shooting#united healthcare#luigi mangione#mario kart#brian thompson#satire#jesus christ some of y'all are dense#this is satire about how journalists talk about killers playing video games#not an actual take#piss on the poor website
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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The secret Dungeon Meshi sauce that's getting people to eat better is that it's so non-judgmental. Senshi and the rest of the gang never talk about what not to eat besides things that taste bad and literal poison. They don't even talk about "health" that much besides the importance of a balanced diet. It's so much easier to eat well when you think of food simply as something your body needs, and that it's often worth the extra effort to make it taste good, especially when you understand how to connect "things your body needs" with "things that taste good"
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#idk I just think a lot about how no one talked about hot fatty pork was unhealthy#or even scolded Maricelle for wanting something they couldn't afford#Senshi just said 'you haven't been eating fat so your body needs some. let's make something rich and delicious!'
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bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"
#gravity falls#gf nevermind all that#the book of bill#bill cipher#dipper pines#theres a tag now so im not gonna link all the context in the post anymore#i have no confidence this one is even funny i just wanted to draw them#we talk about this all the time but its endlessly funny that stump made a billford au and both of us have been like.#so mabel and dipper right? how are mabel and dipper how are they handling the situations. just fine it seems
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more good news from tiktok: they’ve started blocking celebrities.
they’re calling it block party 2024. just blocking and ignoring countless celebrities who havent said shit about palestine. influencers, actors, anyone who went to the met gala, whatever, they’re getting blocked. and people keep talking about how cathartic it is, how good it feels, how they never realized they could DO that. there was some kind of subconscious law against blocking famous people, but it’s broken, and people are LOVING it. and it’s WORKING. a social media/digital advertising coordinator was talking about how ad companies are PANICKING, because they can’t accurately target anymore. so many big influencers, including fucking LIZZO started talking about palestine the MOMENT their follower counts started going down. and the best part? no one is forgiving them. lizzo posted a tiktok asking people to donate to palestinian families, and all the comments just said you’re a multimillionaire. put your money where your mouth is. blocked.
i feel like i’m witnessing the downfall of celebrity culture, right here right now. people are waking up.
#i’ve always blocked celebrities#but there’s something so beautiful about seeing someone discover that#so many people talking about how they joined the trend and then discovered hey. this feels good#i don’t need to pay attention to them! i’m going to block more! and i’m not unblocking them!!!#and it all started because someone at the met gala said let them eat cake#tiktok#block party#block party 2024
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can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.
#sky.txt#we were talking about how some people conceptualize nonbinary as like a 3rd gender#rather than a huge spectrum of experience#and he just hit us with that
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not now sweetie, mommy is watching how the massive girlbossification of female characters has led to the belief that weak and vulnerable female characters are badly written characters because apparently every woman needs to be outspoken and witty and snarky and brave in order to be considered “complex” and have any value in a piece of media!!
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