#how to solve this

[jennylikejerry]

No fanfic on ao3 has ever made me cry like I cry every day when I solve math problems

[rovermcfly]

proud to say that I have never once in my life figured out the whodunit in any crime story I've read or watched. I just let the facts and clues wash over me, absorbing absolutely none of it. I am the audience they think of when they throw in red herrings, in case you've ever wondered "who would fall for this obvious false lead". it's me. I am the idiot viewer/reader. not once has an obviously framed clue revealed anything to me. my head is completely empty when I consume these stories.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[gongyussy]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[wrightandco]

the confetti for a not guilty verdict is actually the funniest fucking thing about ace attorney

it’s like they inherently know their system is fucked to the to the extent that they’ve got the celebration confetti at the ready when they don’t wrongfully incarcerate someone

edgeworth never lost a trial until he faced phoenix wright so the confetti goes off and he’s probably like what the fuck ppfthh pffth phhh that last bit is him spitting the confetti out of his mouth

[kiwi]

as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test

[mulderscully]

TWIN PEAKS | 1.04

[annoyingpeach89]

I kind of find it interesting (along with disheartening and downright enraging) how the online queer community is stuck in a constant and endless toxic discourse loop. Each time, we are targeting a new ingroup to constantly harass, bar from spaces, and twitter threads about how this identity-is-so-problematic, and if you support it you're Hitler incarnate and also you're on 200 DNI lists.

Whether it's nonbinary people, "tucutes", xenogenders, neopronouns, asexuals, bisexuals, trans women, trans men, girlfags, lesboys, bi lesbians etc. It's always the same thing.

"We must stop these 'harmful identities' and conservatives will finally love us and we will solve homophobia and transphobia forever if we get rid of boydykes and girlfags! And trust me, when this happened to nonbinary people it was TOTALLY unjustified, but it's totally for a good reason this time!"

Like, do you guys not see this? Am I actually crazy or is it just the same loop over and over. And like in my last post about transandrophobia, if you come to this post discoursing, I'll be laughing in your face for how pathetic this all is.

[vaguely-concerned]

starfleet ds9 crew: we only have two morally compromising options before us here... what we need is a third option

the third option:

he's like if the trolley problem could be solved by a mentally unwell gay lizard jumping onto the trolley and blowing up the track before it got to the junction where the switch could theoretically happen

[archerdepartures116]

Shitpost idea: what if Liu qingge and shang qinghua swapped bodies

[yaolmao]

they should work together idk guys

[ruporas]

how to guide your mossball (ID in alt)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[tesseractingrey]

i think one of the coolest things about dan howell is the example he sets of how your life isn’t over at 25, and one person won’t fix your life but you still can. dan met his actual soulmate at 18 and is only now, in his 30s, finding true and genuine happiness and fulfillment. meeting phil didn’t automatically solve all his problems, although he was clearly a significant part of the motivation to bother doing the work at all. but dan still put in the work himself for YEARS to improve himself and his life and it WORKED. your life isn’t over if you aren’t completely happy and fulfilled and the person you wish you could be in your 20s. putting in the work takes time but it is WORTH IT.

[rokudaimeplease]

he's been through a lot

[zephyrchama]

It was late evening when your DDD started ringing. An unusual time for someone to call unless they were either drunk or in mortal peril. This occasion happened to be the latter.

Karasu's caller ID flashed a photo of Luke across the screen after the first ring. The angel was always early to bed and early to rise and never called without good reason, so you scrambled to answer, moving so fast that your finger slipped and you initially missed the right button.

"Hello?" you said. It took a moment for the call to connect.

"Hi... Sorry, umm, is now a good time?"

Luke sounded close to tears. He was trying to keep himself composed for your sake, but the distressed warble in his voice betrayed him. By the sound of things, he wasn't in his bedroom. He wasn't even in the living room or kitchen of Purgatory Hall. It was somewhere small, where his voice echoed off the walls.

"Luke, are you okay? Where are you?"

You recognized the sound of splashing water when he sniffled just before responding, "I'm in the bath."

It was an odd answer, but at least he was somewhere safe. So, why was he crying?

"Did Solomon feed you anything weird?"

"No, that's not it." Luke took a deep breath and winced. The sounds of agitated water accompanied his explanation. "You see... Simeon got a new shampoo that smells like cloudberries, and I really wanted to try some. Just a little bit, honest! But it came out of the bottle really fast, and it fell into my eyes." The crying began in earnest. "It really hurts and now I can't get it out of my eyes and Simeon's going to find out I used his shampoo without asking."

You felt slightly thankful that Solomon wasn't using the little angel as his food taster, but his small sobs over such a small matter made your heart ache.

"I'm going blind as punishment for stealing Simeon's shampoo," he confessed.

"Hey! Hey, no you're not! It's going to be okay!" you assured him. "You're not going to go blind. Listen. Turn on the faucet and try to splash some clean water in your eyes. Also, keep crying."

The sound of a running faucet could be heard through the phone. "Why? Will my tears prove that I'm repenting and weaken the punishment?"

"It'll... uh, yeah? Yeah, sure. It will also rinse the shampoo out of your eye so they stop stinging, but it'll do that, too."

There was a soft thud as Luke set his DDD down, followed by several minutes of loud splashing noises and weeping. He was having a tough time. You tried to be encouraging, unsure if he could hear you or not, by chiming in with the occasional "you're doing great!" and "hang in there!"

The tears came to a stop and Luke turned the faucet off. There was a beat of silence, followed by him exclaiming from afar, "it worked!"

He picked the phone back up. "It worked! I can see again! It doesn't hurt as much! Thank you! I'm so glad I called." The boy sounded like he was crying again, this time in relief. He had his usual cheery demeanor back.

"Everything OK now?"

"Yeah! I really owe you. I have to go tell Simeon what I did now, but I'll properly thank you tomorrow at school."

You wondered what sort of treats he would present. A drain popped open and you heard the water swirling away. Your muscles were still tense from concern, but the emergency had been swiftly dealt with.

"Glad I could help. Be sure to get lots of sleep, okay? You need to rest your eyes."

You could tell Luke was nodding even if you couldn't see him. "Got it!"

"Good night, Luke."

"Good night!"