#how to increase oxygen level

[etrends-news]

https://adbellmedia.com/posts/enhancing-vitality-how-to-increase-blood-oxygen-levels

[pucksandpower]

Racing Hearts

Lando Norris x cardiopulmonary technician!Reader

Summary: you’ve had a way of making Lando’s heart race since the moment he met you

You glance down at your clipboard as your next patient walks into the exercise physiology lab. “Lando Norris?” You ask, looking up with a smile.

The young British man grins back at you. “That’s me!”

“Excellent! I’m Y/N, I’ll be your technician today. We’re just going to do a simple cardiopulmonary exercise test to get some baseline numbers before the start of the season.”

Lando nods, looking around the lab curiously. “No problem, happy to be poked and prodded in the name of science and fast cars.”

You laugh as you gesture for him to take a seat. “Don’t worry, I promise to be gentle,” you joke. “I’m just going to put some electrodes on your chest to monitor your heart rate, then we’ll get you on the treadmill for the test.”

“Sounds good,” Lando says, settling onto the exam table.

You start placing the sticky electrode pads across his chest and ribs, trying not to blush at his shirtless state. Formula 1 drivers really are fit underneath those racing suits.

“So how’s preseason training going?” You ask conversationally as you work. “Think McLaren has a chance this year?”

Lando grins. “I’m feeling good! Me and the team have been putting in a lot of hard work over the winter. I’m definitely aiming higher than 6th in the championship.”

You smile as you finish placing the electrodes and motion for him to stand. “That’s the spirit. Alright, hop up on the treadmill and we’ll get you moving.”

Lando steps up onto the machine and you start it up slowly, increasing the speed in measured increments. “I’ll take you up to a brisk jog, then we’ll keep you there for about 10 minutes while I monitor your heart rate, breathing, and oxygen levels,” you explain.

“Sounds gucci,” Lando replies with a thumbs up, his breath starting to quicken as the treadmill pace increases.

You make sure the electrode leads are secure, then step back to observe the incoming data on the computer screen. Lando’s lean legs stride smoothly along the treadmill belt as you keep a close watch on his vitals, making notes on your clipboard. After a few minutes, you frown slightly at the heart rate readout. It seems unusually elevated for an elite athlete like Lando, even at this moderate jogging pace.

“How are you feeling Lando?” You call out. “Everything okay?”

“All … good,” he huffs out, face flushed from the exertion.

You hesitate, glancing between him and the concerning heart rate values on the screen. “It’s just that your heart rate is a bit higher than I would expect,” you say slowly. “Are you feeling any chest pain or tightness?”

Lando shakes his head. “No, no, nothing like that. I feel fine!” He insists breathlessly.

You bite your lip, still frowning. “Your heart rate is quite high though, over 85% of estimated max. For an experienced athlete I would expect values closer to 70-80% at this pace.”

“Oh … yeah, maybe it’s a bit high,” Lando acknowledges, starting to breathe harder. “But don’t worry about me, I’m fit as a fiddle!”

You reach over to slow the treadmill slightly. “Let’s bring the pace down a bit. I’m concerned about these heart rate readings. We should really have you checked out by a cardiologist before the season starts.”

Lando grabs the front handrails, shaking his head stubbornly. “No, no that’s not necessary, really! I’m fine, just maybe didn’t warm up enough.”

You give him a skeptical look. “Lando, as your technician I have to advise getting this looked at. Your heart rate is elevated beyond normal parameters.”

Lando chews his lip, glancing away evasively. “Um, well … maybe there’s a reason for that.”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “What do you mean? Like a medical condition you haven’t told me about?”

“No, no nothing like that!” Lando says quickly. He mumbles something under his breath you can’t quite make out over the whir of the treadmill.

“Sorry, what was that?” You ask, leaning closer. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Oh, uh … it was nothing,” Lando mutters, face reddening further.

You stop the treadmill completely so you can hear him better, folding your arms over your clipboard. “Lando, if there’s something I should know that’s affecting your test results, you need to tell me. As your technician, I really think we should get your heart looked at just to be safe.”

Lando locks eyes with you for a moment, hesitation written across his features. He mumbles again under his breath, so quietly you can’t discern the words.

You hold his gaze firmly. “One more time, please. It’s really important that I understand what’s going on so I can interpret these results accurately.”

Lando breaks eye contact, looking down at his feet. He kicks lightly at the motionless treadmill belt, before finally whispering. “It’s you, alright?”

You blink in surprise. “Me? What do you mean?”

Lando glances up at you briefly, his face now tomato-red. “You’re … the reason my heart rate is high,” he mumbles.

You stare at him in confusion. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

Lando groans, covering his face with his hands. “Because … I really fancy you, okay?” He admits, the words muffled into his palms. “You’re just … totally gorgeous and sweet and it makes me nervous and … my heart rate goes mad around pretty girls I like.”

Your eyes widen in understanding, feeling your own cheeks flush bright pink. “Oh! Oh ...”

Lando peeks out at you between splayed fingers. “Yeah, so that’s why it’s high. Not because I have some underlying heart condition.” He gives you a sheepish smile. “Just because my technician is really fit.”

You let out an awkward laugh, suddenly feeling shy. “Wow, uh … I’m flattered, Lando. I didn’t realize ...”

Lando drops his hands from his face, looking at you earnestly. “Sorry, is that weird? I know we just met and you’re doing your job.” He fidgets with the electrode wires across his chest. “Don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

You smile warmly back at him, feeling butterflies in your own stomach. “Don’t be silly. It’s not weird at all. Honestly, I, uh … also think you’re really cute,” you admit with bashful grin.

Lando’s eyes light up. “Yeah?” A wide, delighted smile spreads across his face.

You nod, laughing softly. “Yeah, I may have been trying not to blush myself with you shirtless here in my lab.”

“Well I’m certainly not complaining about the view either,” Lando says cheekily.

You smack his arm playfully. “I’m being professional here!”

“And doing a great job,” Lando says, smile softening. “But maybe once we’re done with all this boring medical stuff … we could get dinner? If you want?” He looks at you hopefully.

Your heart flutters with excitement. “I’d really like that.” You smile at each other giddily for a moment before you clear your throat. “But first, we really should finish your assessment properly.”

Lando laughs, nodding. “Of course, you’re the boss!”

You roll your eyes affectionately. “Alright, hop back on the treadmill. And this time just focus on your breathing and try not to make eyes at the pretty technician,” you tease.

“No promises there,” Lando quips with a grin as he steps back onto the belt.

You just smile and shake your head as you start up the machine once more, unable to keep your own heart rate from quickening in anticipation of what promises to be a very special dinner date after the test is complete.

***

Several Months Later

You glance down nervously at your paddock pass as you make your way through the crowded paddock. As an unofficial member of Lando’s training team now, you have full access to the exclusive behind-the-scenes world of Formula 1. But despite months of dating the British driver, the glamorous circus still feels surreal.

Dodging golf carts and important looking people with headsets, you head for the McLaren garage. Lando had told you to meet him there before the start of the race. Your heart flutters, as it always does at the thought of seeing him again.

“Y/N!” Lando greets you brightly as you enter the garage. Engine roars echo around you as mechanics make final tweaks to the cars before wheeling them to the grid.

“Good luck today!” You tell Lando, leaning up on your toes to kiss him sweetly.

“With you here, how can I lose?” He grins down at you. His energy is infectious.

You chat together as the cars are lined up on the starting grid, Lando bouncing excitedly in his race suit. You squeeze his gloved hand. “Be safe out there.”

“Always am, love.” He winks before pulling on his helmet and climbing into the cockpit.

You make your way back to the McLaren hospitality suite to watch the start of the race. Your heart pounds as the lights go out and the F1 cars launch forward in a roar of engines. Lando makes a clean getaway, slotting into P5 heading into the first turn.

The race unfolds smoothly, Lando maintaining his position in the top five. You watch tensely on the monitors, hands clenched.

But on lap 38, disaster strikes. Heading into a fast sweeper, the Red Bull of Sergio Perez attempts a risky overtake maneuver on Lando’s inside. They collide in a shower of carbon fiber and a plume of smoke.

You gasp sharply as Lando’s car spins off into the gravel trap, coming to rest against the barrier at an abrupt stop. The McLaren crew monitor the radio channels anxiously.

“Lando, are you okay mate?” His engineer asks urgently.

“Yeh … I’m okay ...” Lando’s labored voice comes back. “Bit winded but I’m alright.”

You breathe a deep sigh of relief along with the crew. The medical car is quickly dispatched to the scene. Lando climbs unsteadily from the battered car, sitting down in the gravel trap as he awaits assistance.

Your adrenaline surging, you take off from the garage the moment you see Lando is out of the car safely. Jogging through the paddock, you make your way swiftly to the medical center.

As you rush in, Lando is just being helped onto an examination table by two medics. He’s dusty and sweaty, his hair sticking up at all angles from where he pulled off his helmet. But otherwise he seems intact.

“Lando!” You hurry over, emotions welling up at seeing him battered but in one piece.

“Y/N, hey ...” Lando greets you with a weary but reassuring smile. He reaches for your hand which you clutch tightly.

One medic cuts away the top of Lando’s racing suit, placing electrodes on his chest to monitor his heart rhythm. You hover anxiously as they check him over.

“Heart rate is quite elevated,” the doctor frowns as he reads the monitor. He glances between you and Lando with concern. “Any chest pain or tightness?”

Lando huffs a small laugh, shaking his head. He looks up at you, his green eyes glinting. “Nah, doc. She’s the reason for the fast heartbeat.”

You feel your cheeks flush as Lando grins. The medic looks confused.

“See, ever since Y/N came into my life, she’s made my heart race a mile a minute,” Lando explains cheekily.

You smack his arm but can’t help laughing too. Trust Lando to still be flirting from a hospital bed.

“Ah, young love,” the doctor chuckles. “Well, your heart may beat for her, but let’s still do a full check to be safe.”

Lando nods agreeably, though his gaze stays fixed on you. He winces slightly as they palpate his ribs and abdomen, checking for injuries.

You cling to his hand, emotionally drained from the scare but overwhelmed with relief that he seems okay. Lando keeps stealing glances at you through the examination.

Finally the doctor steps back. “All done. Amazingly, you’ve escaped with just some bruising. No breaks or internal injuries. You were lucky today.”

The medic packs up his equipment. “Get some rest and ice those sore spots. But overall good news. No reason you can’t race in two weeks’ time.”

“Phew, that’s a relief!” Lando says. He thanks the doctors as you help him down from the table.

Arm wrapped supportively around him, you make your slow way out of the medical center towards the McLaren motorhome.

“Thank you for being here,” Lando murmurs, leaning his head on your shoulder as you walk.

You kiss his dusty hair. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You scared me to death out there!”

“I know, sorry about that, love. It happened so fast.” He lifts his head to look at you sincerely. “But I’m alright. Just grateful to have you by my side.”

You stop, turning to face him fully. Reaching up, you caress his cheek gently. “I’ll always be right here by your side.”

Lando’s eyes shine. “Is it cheesy to say you make my heart race in the best way?”

Laughing softly, you pull him into a tender kiss. For this brief moment, nothing else matters but the two of you.

Lando sighs contentedly when you eventually pull back. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

You squeeze his hand, smiling up at him. “The feeling’s mutual. Now let’s get you rested up. I want my favorite driver back to full fitness ASAP.”

With his arm wrapped warmly around your shoulders, you’re reminded that no matter what challenges life brings, your hearts will keep racing together as one.

***

It’s a quiet night and you and Lando are cuddling in bed together after a long day. Lando’s arms are wrapped securely around you, your head resting comfortably on his chest. His fingers idly trace delicate patterns along your back as you lay pressed close, breathing in sync.

Though it’s late, you can tell Lando’s mind is still wide awake, trailing far from the coziness of your shared bed. His pensive silence prompts you to prop yourself up on one elbow, looking down at him with a curious smile.

“Penny for your thoughts, love?”

Lando blinks up at you before giving a small, distracted smile. “Oh, it’s nothing really ...”

You raise a knowing eyebrow. “Lando, I can always tell when something’s on your mind.” You brush a lock of hair back from his forehead tenderly. “Talk to me?”

Lando chews his lip, eyes darting away evasively. Finally he lets out a long breath, arms tightening around your waist. “I guess … I’ve just been thinking about when I picked you up earlier today.”

You think back to the afternoon when Lando swung by your lab after work like usual. “What about it?”

“Well, when I pulled up out front, I saw one of your patients leaving the exercise center,” Lando explains. His brow furrows slightly. “Some tall, muscular bloke in running shorts.”

“Oh, that was probably Brandon — he’s a sprinter I had in for VO2 max testing,” you reply casually before pausing. “Wait … you’re not jealous, are you?”

“No! No, of course not,” Lando says quickly. But the way his eyes shift away makes you think otherwise.

You frown slightly, snuggling closer against his chest. “Lando, you know you have absolutely no reason to be jealous. I only have eyes for you,” you murmur reassuringly.

Lando sighs, arms tightening around your back. “I know, I know. It’s stupid ...” He trails off, looking conflicted.

You lay a comforting hand along his jaw. “Talk to me, love. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Lando meets your earnest gaze, emotions swirling in his eyes. “I just … I wonder sometimes why you picked me, you know? You meet guys like that every day. And I’m just ...” he shrugs self-consciously.

Your heart squeezes at the vulnerable admission. You tenderly stroke Lando’s cheek. “Hey … you listen to me. You’re the only one I want. All those other athletes are just patients to me. But you ...” You smile down at him adoringly. “You’re the one who makes my heart race with just a look. The one I want to spend all my time with. The one I love with my entire heart.”

The corner of Lando’s mouth lifts in a faint, tentative smile at your words. “Yeah?”

“Absolutely,” you whisper fervently. Leaning down, you capture his lips in a sweet, loving kiss. “You’re my once in a lifetime, Lando. My soulmate. Meeting you was destiny.”

Lando’s arms wrap tightly around you again, the last of the tension fading from his frame. “I’m sorry I got all insecure like that. I know I’m being silly.” He presses an apologetic kiss to your hair. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You nuzzle your face lovingly against his neck. “You were just yourself — that funny, charming, incredible guy I fell for the moment we met.” You lift your head to meet his eyes again. “I never stood a chance. My heart was yours from the start.”

A smile breaks across Lando’s face at last. “I really am the luckiest bloke in the world, aren’t I?”

“Damn right you are,” you say teasingly, making him laugh. Your expression softens. “But truly, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. My heart only races for you. It always will.”

Lando’s eyes gleam with renewed confidence and adoration as he rolls you both over so he’s hovering above you. “Well in that case, what do you say we get your heart racing again?” He murmurs playfully, brushing his nose against yours.

You grin up at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “I’d say you’re on.”

Lando’s smile widens as he dips his head to meet your lips in a passionate kiss. Your pulse immediately quickens at his touch, heart thrumming as you arch up into him.

When Lando finally pulls back for air, his eyes are dancing. “Yep, definitely racing,” he laughs breathlessly, lifting your hand to his lips to kiss your pulse point.

You shake your head in amusement, heart overflowing with love for this man. “You’re the only one for me. Today, tomorrow, and always.”

Lando’s smile softens to something tender and reverent. “And you’re my once in a lifetime, Y/N.” He brushes his thumb along your cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper. And as his lips find yours again, you let yourself get lost in his kiss, your racing hearts beating as one.

[sayruq]

The Geneva-based Euro-Mediterranean Human Rights Monitor (Euro-Med) released a report on 30 April urging an investigation into Israel’s potential use of illegal thermal weapons. “An international committee of experts must be established to look into the weapons Israel has been using as part of its genocide in the Gaza Strip … including the potential use of bombs that produce such high heat that victims’ bodies evaporate,” the Euro-Med report said. The rights group cites testimonies received from Gaza which revealed a “horrific new level of killing in the Strip.” The bodies of Palestinian victims appear to have been vaporized by the weapons Israel used against residential buildings. “Thousands of victims remain missing, either because it was impossible to recover them from under the debris in light of insufficient equipment and technical know-how, or because their bodies were either hidden by the Israeli army or no longer exist,” the Euro-Med report reads. The report continues to say, “A number of the victims killed in these horrifying Israeli raids on residential buildings have vanished and may have turned to ashes, raising questions about the type of bombs used in the attacks.” Thermobaric weapons, also referred to as vacuum bombs, are two-stage munitions. The first charge disperses a fine aerosol cloud of materials ranging from carbon-based fuel to metal particles. The second charge ignites the materials used, creating a fireball, shock wave, and vacuum as it sucks up the surrounding oxygen. The blast from these weapons can last significantly longer than conventional explosives, enabling it to vaporize human bodies. Mass graves in Gaza hospitals previously raided by Israel show that civil defense staff found “bodies without skin,” according to Gaza’s Government Media Office. According to the Euro-Med report, “The Hague Conventions of 1899 and 1907, the Geneva Conventions of 1949, and international humanitarian law all forbid the use of thermal bombs against civilians in populated civilian areas. The Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court also classifies the use of thermal bombs as a war crime.” Israel has also illegally deployed white phosphorus weapons on civilians and civilian infrastructure in Gaza and Lebanon. According to a Washington Post analysis, the white phosphorus munitions used in Lebanon’s south were supplied to Israel by the US. Palestine’s Agricultural Work Committees Union said that Israel intentionally uses chemical weapons on farmlands in the Gaza Strip to contaminate its soil, posing an increased cancer risk to farmers.

[heizours]

COLLAPSING CONSCIOUSNESS

summary. when you faint in the middle of an argument with them (requested)

tags. gn! reader, grammatical mistakes may occur

cw. reader passes out, signs of fainting beforehand, call signs of endearmeant, there are parts where they think that the reader won’t wake up again out of panic, angsty in the beginning

feat. heizou, ayato, xiao

note: i have a history about fainting but i can't tell if what i wrote was accurate enough but, pls lmk if there's something that i should change especially in the warnings.

HEIZOU.

First off, what was the cause of the argument? I don't think big fights would occur between you and him, you see Heizou is a rational thinker and whatever dispute there will be between the two of you — he is willing to solve it right away. He hates it when the both of you are not in good terms.

How would he react if you fainted? Heizou would be frozen at first, but once his senses reach him, he reacts to it immediately once he sees you in an unconscious state or you're just about to fall unconscious.

He is a great detective that is level headed even in the brink of danger but when it comes to you, all those greatness disappears because you're the only one who can make him this vulnerable.

"And I came back, all in one piece aren't I? [Name], what's all got you so worked up over this plain case?" Heizou's tone remained stern, as he tried to keep this little dispute under good wraps.

However the problem here is, he isn't getting your point of view. He is talking about how easy this case was, while here you were at you're wits end after gathering information that this case he claimed to be easy, is very dangerous to the point it can costs his life if he wasn't careful enough in the first place.

To add more gasoline to the fire, he had gotten an injury from it and tried to also hide it from your prying eyes which just increased your disappointment in him.

“You’re simply not getting it, I am getting worked up because if you weren’t careful enough, you could have killed yourself. Speaking of coming back in ‘one piece’, how about that injury you had taken from it huh?” You backfired, as the temperature in the room continues to rise between the two of you.

You could feel the continuous pulse in your head and the sudden need to go to the bathroom as the a tense feeling climbs up your throat, yet you paid no attention to it, thinking it’s nothing more than that.

But, you were very wrong about it. As the argument escalates further, so does your need to breathe and get much air as possible, continues to increase rapidly as well.

Sick of simply hearing his repeated explanation, you decided to stand up from the chair you were seating, finding a pace to cool off and avoiding the path where you could possibly lash out on him.

Unexpectedly, you find yourself standing steadily on the floor for a moment as the noises around started to gradually fade away.

There is this feeling from within you that you need some air or you want to puke, you tried to remain unaffected, ignoring the concern look Heizou was giving you after stopping in place.

It didn't stop there- your sense of hearing was starting to get fuzzy almost turning you deaf as Heizou’s words were beginning to be incoherent in your part. 

You could feel the air inside your body being sucked out, like you're losing the oxygen that you need, and black spots began clouding your vision, not before the world before you was spinning.

You heard someone shouting and shaking you vigorously, and with all your might you tried to respond back yet nothing came out, as your mouth remained open without saying anything. 

Your body was starting to lose it's balance as it started to fall carelessly, and the last thing you felt before losing yourself was a gentle yet firm hand wrapped around you.

---

Frozen.

That’s what Heizou had felt when you fell right into his arms.

Looking back at what happened when you’re already laid out in his arms, he could still clearly remember how his eyes widened in fear, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do. His thoughts were scattered all around the place, as all he could think about is to get you urgent help, but at the same time he doesn’t want to leave you by yourself.

He remembers it all too well, how he finds himself trembling slightly, frozen in place and filled with deep regret by his unthinkable actions. 

You were just looking out for his safety, like he have always did back at you, yet when you’re the one who reprimanded him to be careful, all he did was caused you further harm. You didn’t want to let him know the uneasiness you were feeling, and that what greatly fears him the most.

What if you never wake up again?

---

As you fluttered your eyes open, you were met by a ceiling, as you process what just happened not too long ago - Heizou, who was sitting right beside you caught wind of your consciousness and sat right up.

"..[Name]? Can you hear me?" He spoked with such tone that you could feel that a part of his voice cracked out of nervousness and worriedness because of how he was fidgeting in his seat.

You turned your head at his direction, silently observing him - he seemed to be in such a distress by how he looked. As you tried to sit up from the bed you were resting on, Heizou didn’t waste a millisecond of helping you be comfortable in the position you wanted.

"W-what happened?"

You stuttered out, while still feeling a little drowsy from the incident.

"...You f-fainted, it happened right in front of me while we were having a misunderstanding. Before you could fall on the ground, I made it near you as soon as I can so that the fall wouldn't be worse than what I am imagining." Heizou started, as he began to fidget once again and bit his lip to prevent the tears that are threatening to come out.

"Y-you were unresponsive [Name], I was trying to shake you, to get something out from you, anything to let me know that you're still there, my cries of help was heard by the General Gorou, he and his comrades calmed and distract me down while a healer was called upon by the Young Priestess."

He continued.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I made you feel this way my love. If - I wasn't so stubborn to listen to your concerns, maybe this could have been avoided. What I did, was horrible - I shouldn't have been angry about what you said, I had let my words get the best of me during the heat of the moment, I'm sorry."

He finished, averting his eyes away from you out of shame.

As soon as you heard his side of the story, you leaned forward to cup his cheek into your hand, turning him to face you. Despite the tiredness, you let out a grim yet genuine smile along his way, as if to assure him that you too are sorry.

"Oh my love, hush now - I'm alive and still breathing here and right in front of you, see? Do not take all the blame by yourself, as I have a fault too. I'm sorry for lashing out on you like that, when all you did was doing as you're told to, and for making you worried as well. We we're both in the wrong." You replied

Heizou grabbed the hand that was cupping his cheek, snuggled into it before giving a long peck on it before turning to look at you.

"I'm so glad you're alright, I really am. My heart, it always beats for your name, it calls your name and you have no idea how it dropped in a heartbeat like how you dropped in my arms."

He leaned in for a peck on your forehead, before grabbing your face gently into his hands, as if he was holding the whole world.

"You, you are the very essence of my existence"

Heizou finished. 

All the tension, fear, anxiousness and pent up emotions that he was holding while you were resting unconsciously was now free, away from it’s cage. The detective couldn't help but to smile at you, that is so full of love and care.

"Now, it's time for you to rest easy again my love. I suppose we won’t be stubborn for the meantime, aren’t we?"

He affirmed while hinting you with a joke at the end of his reminder about your stubbornness, that he also sometimes has.

You couldn’t help but laugh in response, before nodding.

All is well now, and the both of you couldn’t ask for more. What makes the moment more significant, is that you both knew.

AYATO.

Arguments doesn’t occur often as well when you’re in an established relationship with the Kamisato Head, but if minor disputes were to emerge between the two of you, he would like to cool things off like giving you space and him some space to sort things out. 

How would he react if you fainted while the both of you are in the middle quarrel? He would immediately set aside whatever the both of you are fighting about, and he’ll be catching you the moment that his instinct tells him so that you’re not feeling well.

He tries to be calm, but his strained voice tells another story. When threat comes close to you that is too much for his comfort, his serene image falls into shambles.

“I don’t know when will I come back, but if the night is already falling late, please do not wait for me anymore, darling.” Ayato announced, still busy on his table

Recently, Ayato has been trapping his self inside his office and has been going on for a while now, much to Ayaka’s concern. At first, you didn’t tried to intervene with it even though you’re worried, since you knew how much your significant other cares about the well-being of the common people.

But, judging by how much he is being selfless to the point where he is not even properly taking care of himself, you decided to step in and pay him a visit with a tray of tea in your hand. You started off with a conversation and then brought up the idea of him taking a break, by drinking the tea you had visited him along with, and as usual - what he had said earlier was his response to your offer.

The situation isn’t getting any better, especially that you have sensed that you’re not feeling like yourself as well. Despite that, you pushed away what you’re feeling at the moment, and chose to persuade Ayato to rest instead.

“Then, can you at least drink the tea I have prepared for you? I’m worried, Ayaka’s worried, we’re all worried about you.” I expressed ignoring the lightheaded feeling that is coming from within me.

“[Name], as much as I would rather do it, I can’t have this documents hanging around. You know that right? Please leave me be while I am still having the patience to do so.” Ayato argued back, his voice trying to sound calm and gentle as possible yet it sounded disapproving.

This time, what you were feeling that you dismissed not too long ago, somehow become worst. In fear that you’ll add more to Ayato’s pent up stress, you just silently agreed and gave up the fight, deciding to take the rest and you’ll try again tomorrow. 

Turning your back on him, your body suddenly felt the need to fall - your vision began spotting black and white forces as if it’s forcing you to close your eyes, then came in an annoying yet blurred ring in your ears.

It doesn’t stop there, you could feel your head hanging low, you’re body was rapidly falling and you have nothing to lean on to.

Before you can even entirely fall, Ayato grabbed you by the waist preventing you from the incoming impact. By the time he sat down with you on the floor, you were already unconscious. 

Ayato turned your body around so you’re facing him, tapped your cheek multiple times, and shook you gently awake, but to no avail, you remain unresponsive.

---

Guilty.

That’s what Ayato felt, looking from the situation you were in right now.

Not once did he left your side the moment you fell senseless in his arms, no he didn’t want to take the chance - and instead shouted with all his might, that he has never done before, to get you instant help. 

And he still hasn’t left you alone, as you were laid down on a futon that you’re resting upon. For once in a blue moon, Kamisato Ayato was scared of even leaving you out of his sight. 

It creeps upon him, that all you did was cared and understand him as a busy man, all you asked for once is for him to take a rest even though you should also be doing that to yourself, but no - you putted him first before your well being, and that what makes him feel that he should be accountable for what happened to you.

---

The first thing your eyes laid upon was Ayato, who continued to seat in deep silence, not until when he looked at the slight sound that was caught up by his ears, as he let out quiet gasp of surprise and relief.

As you fidget to sit up from the futon, Ayato took action and gently helped you sit right up. When you finally settled down, he continued to stare at you in silence, but his eyes tells a different story.

They softened at the sight of you, but despite that they were also letting you know how much ache, and ashamed do they feel from putting you in this kind of state.

“...You’re alright, I’m glad.” Ayato whispered, the relief relevant at the tone of his voice, yet you could also that there’s a part in him that just wants to burst out in tears, seeing that you’re still here in front of him, alive and breathing once again.

You looked at him tenderly, as you reached out to grab his hand and squeezed it tenderly and gently, to affirm him that all is alright.

That was the breaking point.

It was Ayato’s last straw, as the tears he was trying to push away to put up his casual facade finally began to stream silently. He brought your hand near his lips, as he pecked it gently and held your hand closer to his face, rubbing it on his cheek, as if holding your hand was his lifeline.

“..I’m sorry, I truly am. I’m sorry for denying your care, I’m sorry for denying your concern and worries, I’m sorry that I made you feel this way. It was not what I intend to do darling, maybe if I did agree for that cup of tea, this situation would have been prevented, and you could have been able to tell me.”

He expressed, the regret clearly evident in his voice, as he grasped on tightly yet gently to your arm that he brought closer to him, placing a light peck every now and then as if it was an assurance to him that you’re still here right beside him.

You cupped his face by cupping your other hand on the other side of his cheek, as if you were holding the whole world in your hands right now, gesturing him to look at you in the eye. Never once did you look at him with such hatred nor misunderstand, but instead kept up the sentimental look that you always used to.

“We were both in the wrong, I hid how unwell I was feeling because I didn’t want to be a burden to you nor be added as something that can distract you. But what matters the most to me right now, is that all is well, my darling.”

You stated, as a gentle smile made it’s way on your face even though a little bit the drowsy feeling is still present there.

Ayato couldn’t help but smile back, as he let out a big sigh of relief, not before affirming you with such words you couldn’t help but feel giddy about.

“From this day forward, I will save the time to rest from being a workaholic man, and I am expecting that you, are to rest with me as well. Will that be a good negotiation between us, darling?”

Ayato replied with a hint of tease at the end of his sentence, as you nodded while laughing lightly - glad that he seemed to be in good spirits now.

He looked at you with such a tender face, as if you’re the whole purpose of his life, that he couldn’t help but to blurt out such words, it just adds to the evidence that despite being focused on his work in the past few days, all he could think and miss about was you.

“I burn for you, [Name], I’ve always been.”

Ayato whispered lovingly.

Stuck in the midst of the sincere moment, the both of you couldn’t ask for more other than the fact, that the love between the two of you is still burning, and it increased more than ever.

XIAO.

Arguments with Xiao tend to be a little rocky, only in the beginning of your relationship though. He avoids bringing arguments into the relationship but if the argument continues to grow bigger like a raging fire, he wants things to not be as worst as it already is, and would try to sort things out in the best way he thinks it would work.

How would he react if you fainted? Xiao won’t have time to comprehend what is happening, because as soon as he senses that something about you is not right, he would be right by your side in a heartbeat. His priority first is to get you to safety, before he would ask such things.

He can’t  find a way to stay put, because even if Xiao can stay level headed at such emergencies, he can’t act the same when you’re the one being directly involved.

“...This isn't working out” Xiao said, breaking the tense silence between the two of you after a brief moment.

The argument wasn’t that bad at first, but as the both of you backfired such words at each other, it had came to the point where it is already big as it is before the both of you could even realize it.

Stuck in the midst of trying to mend again the misunderstanding in each other’s perspective, you forgot the fact that you’re not feeling well at the meantime as well, wanting for this argument to be fixed up first.

Looking back at what he previously said - You freeze in your spot, almost as if a bucket of cold water was dump right at your face. You couldn’t find the right words to respond to it, almost as if you’re questioning if Xiao really thinks about it like that.

Xiao’s back remained turned against you, arms crossed as you were right behind him almost in the dark, if not for the moon illuminating some light across his room in Wangshu Inn.

Your breath becomes shaky, but you remained your ground.

“....Well, do you love me?”

You asked, dodging the question he gave and instead gave him another one taking in slow deep breaths maintaining a good pace in hopes that the ringing in your ears would soon stop.

Xiao stood silent, back still facing you - If only you could see how his eyes widened slightly at the question.

“This isn’t the right time for you to be asking m-”

“Do you love me?”

You asked again, ignoring the sudden light headedness that washed over you, as you tried to plant your feet on the ground. The air was silent for a moment, but something was not right, almost as if something more eventful would happen.

Every millisecond that passes by as you await for his answer, your body starts wobbling on it’s own, as black and white spots began to cloud your vision.

This time, Xiao turned his back on you, but before he could give his answer, he gasp in shock at the state you’re in. Your face was pale, and it seemed that at any minute or even second your body would give up on you.

The high pitched ringing in your ears was more vigorous than ever, and your body screams for you to do something. The blood that flows right through you suddenly drops, as your consciousness leaves you, but before you can fall with a loud thud, a firm grip held you down.

---

Clammy.

Xiao’s hands was clammy from the nervousness and guiltiness sucking him in.

His voice was caught in his throat the moment he caught you, as he tried to speak, to shout for help, anything at all, but all he managed was to inhale a harsh breath, as his grip on your unconscious body tightened.

And at last, for the first time in his life, Xiao shouted for help, he didn’t care who it was, anyone will do, as all he knows is that he can’t lose you right at this moment, not now, not ever. 

The tone in his voice still held with the same firmness but if anyone were to listen closer, it was at the verge of cracking from despair, as he tried to gently shook you awake while still calling out for help.

He looked down on you, worried flickering in his eyes as the minutes continued to passed by, while the gut in his stomach continued to dig deeper, it was such a sickening feeling that he thinks he’s about to go crazy.

---

You stirred in the futon, as you slowly gained back your consciousness - eyes darting around the room looking for a certain person, until your eyes landed on him who’s at the balcony, staring off into space outside, as he gripped the wooden railings to ease down his thoughts.

“..Xiao?”

Your voice came out as weak as you’re still recovering especially at a state like that, but Xiao heard it all too well as his eyes snapped open in your direction.

The both of you had a stare off for a moment, and before you knew it, he was right in front of you in just a few strides, as he kneeled down at the side of your futon.

You slowly sat up, as Xiao helped you gently. The both of you still as quiet as ever, that is until you caressed Xiao’s cheek giving him an assuring look.

He let out a shaky sigh of relief, as if the weight in all his body has been now lifted, as he lifted his hand to grasp and caress your hand, leaning further into your touch, as if it was his lifeline.

“..Don’t scare me like that again, alright?”

Xiao whispered, almost too quiet as his voice was on the verge of cracking again - this time not from the despair he felt not too long ago, but because from the comfort and solace provided by your warm touch.

There was a beat drop of silence before the yaksha glances at you once again, still with a heavy heart from the events that took place not too far ago.

"..My life...it revolves around you. You are the reason I breathe, you are the reason I continue to live. Telling you that I love you is an understatement to begin with, because it would not be enough for how much you mean to me."

Your eyes soften as Xiao stated those words with a sincere tone, as he pressed a peck on your wrist, looking at you still as if you are star that hang and brought back the light in his life. It was his own way of apologizing to you.

"We will work this out.."

Xiao continued, nodding at you with affirmation and determination.

"We will"

You repeated with a light yet groggy chuckle, as Xiao pressed a kiss on your forehead this time, before gently placing his hand at the back of your head bringing the both of your foreheads closer to each other.

"Rest, and after that we will talk and fix this out calmly"

He whispered.

No words were spoken after that, but the both of you knew this was enough assurance that in every afterglow, there is a daylight. The both of you will work this out just fine.

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💖💋🥂IT GIRL ERA 2024💖💋🥂

💋1) Start putting yourself first . Choose yourself Put your own needs and wants first. What do they advice in flight ? First put your oxygen mask and then try to put others oxygen masks. It is not about oxygen masks.

💖2) Get a social media detox. Social media can be very toxic. We often get into fights with strangers or see toxic people in the comment section or compare ourselves with others. Get off Tumblr , Instagram , Facebook etc. It will help you alot.

🥂3)Get rid of victim mentality. Victim mentality can make things worse for you. You aren't a victim of your reality , you are the creator of your reality. Start taking responsibility and control of your life .

💋4) Believe in yourself . Like Elle Woods said , " most importantly you must have faith in yourself." You must have unwavering faith in yourself . It doesn't matter if others perceive you as less , make sure you don't perceive yourself as less. Your opinion of yourself matters the most.

🥂5) Start taking care of yourself. Self care will save you . Always put your self care first. Go to gym or workout at home. Do skincare. Take care of your hair. Get a mini hair spa. Self care will increase your energy and lower your stress levels. It will boost your self-esteem too.

💖6) Create a vision board. You can make vision board on Pinterest or make one in real life. Just make sure it inspires you and reminds you of your goals. Vision boards are very powerful tool.

💋7) Stop focusing on others. Focus on you. Don't think good or bad about anyone . Be focused on how you can make yourself better. If you don't get time to think about others , good ! Focus on yourself. Except the ones who are close to you , you shouldn't think about others or compare yourself . Just focus on how you can get ahead and make yourself better. I hope this made sense.

🥂8) Love yourself. Self love will save you. Listen , write or speak affirmations. Adopt the IDAF mindset , stop caring about others opinions. Don't compare yourself with others. Let go of toxic cycles and people. Be kind to yourself.

💖9) Remember what Jang Wonyoung said ? I DON'T CARE. YOU ARE YOU , I AM ME . ADOPT THIS MENTALITY. Enter your wonyoungism era !! Wonyoung said that if it's something she didn't do , then she doesn't care. That's where her iconic statement " you are you I am me " came from . Start being okay with people misunderstanding you. Don't try to explain yourself and waste your energy.

💋10) Give importance to your education . Education is the most powerful weapon. Read books. Watch documentaries. Study to learn , not just for good grades.

🥂11) Value your time. Realize how important your present moment is. Don't waste time on unproductive things. Do things that your future self will thank you for . Don't do things that your future self will curse you for.

💖12) Have different role models for different things. Let's say for developing a strong mindset , you can look upto Song Jia , Wonyoung or The wizard liz and for academics , you can look upto Hermione Granger , Elle Woods or Rory Gilmore .

💋13) Stop fighting with stupid people. Even strangers online ! Honestly , strangers online can be very toxic , annoying and stupid. Don't waste your energy arguing with stupid people or people who aren't willing to understand or listen .

💖14) Stop looking yourself through the lens of your past self. It's okay if you made some mistakes . Mistakes are the proof that you are trying. Forgive yourself and learn from them. Stop putting yourself down and keep those mistakes as a lesson. Yes you made some mistakes but after those mistakes , you learnt and made yourself better.

🥂15) No more self- depreciating humor. Your mind doesn't know the difference between reality , fiction or a joke.

💖💋🥂This advice is very basic and simple. But this advice will help you alot. Don't just read this post , make sure you follow this. Happy new year !!! 💖💋🥂

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Growing Pains (S.R.)

Summary: When Spencer finds unfamiliar lingerie in the laundry, he didn’t realize how difficult it would be when he confronted his wife… and learned it didn’t belong to her, either. It belonged to their daughter. Request: reader and Spencer are happily married and have a 16-year daughter. She has a new boyfriend (her first boyfriend) and her parents are worried. They meet the boyfriend. A/N: Who doesn't love a little Dad!Spencer? Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Domestic Fluff (16+) Content Warning: Awkwardness, father & daughter relationship, protective Dad Spencer, lingerie, meeting the parents, firearms mention, Spencer finds his daughter’s lingerie and thinks his wife is cheating on him, it’s hard to explain, mentions of sexual themes, innocent kissing Word Count: 3.7k

There is something so mundane yet so serene about suburban life. That idyllic air that carried small bits of freshly mown grass and children’s laughter. That wasn’t to say that my life was uneventful, however.

After all, it would be nearly impossible to have a boring life while married to Spencer Reid.

But it was rare for me to feel any level of discomfort as I patrolled familiar halls. Mild annoyance, maybe, but never before had I felt such a sense of foreboding.

Not until that fateful day where I arrived home from errands to find that the clean laundry has already been pulled from the dryer. That in itself wasn’t bad—I was more than happy to let someone else do the folding—yet when I walked up the stairs, the hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention.

“Spencer?” I called.

“In here,” he answered without his normal enthusiasm.

Now that was unnerving.

The situation only got worse when I did finally open the door to find him awkwardly pacing around the room. My attention followed him back and forth a couple times before he came to a sudden stop.

“Hi honey,” I offered as gently as I could, “What’s up?”

“Hi,” he replied, still dejected and distant. He didn’t come any closer to me before he began fiddling with his fingers.

After a tense moment of silence, I asked again, more directly, “Are you alright, Spencer?”

“I have something very difficult to discuss with you, and I-I just want to ask for you to be patient with me.”

My heart sunk at the realization that the sense of foreboding was coming from him. The muscles straight up stopped beating, turned to rocks, and tumbled into my stomach.

I shook my head to try to stave off the stupor associated with shock.

“What are you talking about?” I asked because I needed to know just how much my simple suburban life was about to change.

Was he cheating on me? Was he going back to prison? Were their federal agents standing outside, ready to tear our family from our home?

When he finally began to speak, however, it was far from a satisfying explanation.

“I know I’m not always the best husband, and I know I can be absent and that the stress of the job and the kids and the state of the entire world, really, can get in the way of our time together,” he said with an increasing tempo.

“Spencer,” I said as a beg and a warning, “Just say it.”

He held his hands up in surrender as he pleaded back, “Please, just…”

I could feel my pulse in every extremity. My skin burned with blood and my lungs cried out for oxygen.

“I know you, I do,” he assured me before he continued, ��and I know this sounds so unbelievably horrible for me to even accuse you of something like this, but…”

Me?

In that terrifying silence, I ran through our lifetime of memories to try to find something I might have done wrong. But no matter how hard I searched, I found nothing that might make him want to leave me like this.

Unless…

And then he said it.

“Are you… cheating on me?”

So quickly, my fear shifted to white-hot rage that came out of my mouth so ungracefully that I nearly knocked the lamp off the bedside table in my confusion.

“What?! No!” I shrieked, “Oh my god, what made you think that?!”

At first, Spencer relaxed. The veracity of my answer had been convincing because it had been true. But Spencer, clearly still concerned that I was somehow an award-worthy actress, continued to wring his hands together throughout his poorly planned confrontation.

“I, um… I found… lingerie. In the laundry,” he said with a tilted timbre. “And I know I’ve never seen it on you before, and I also know it wasn’t new.”

The busy blood in my veins immediately knew to cower. Before it had even struck me how utterly fucked I was, I was practically trembling with concern.

Spencer saw the fear, and instead of realizing it was about what he had no way of knowing, he interpreted it as a different kind of admission.

“So, whose is it?” he asked.

Stepping towards the bed, I motioned for him to take a seat. When he didn’t? I urged him, “Honey, sit down.”

“… Oh,” he muttered before practically collapsing on the bed.

Slightly annoyed by the dramatics, I rolled my eyes and sighed before I explained, “No, not that.”

He didn’t believe me, so I sighed again.

“Spencer, I am not cheating on you.”

That time, he sighed. I let him enjoy the brief reprieve before I threw him headlong into the worst kind of turmoil.

“What you found… isn’t mine,” I stated very clearly.

“But—?”

“It belongs to our daughter.”

The room fell silent. I watched as the realization dawned on him. Slowly, his glazed over eyes began to reflect the harrowing reality.

Then, all at once, his entire world came to a devastating end. Jumping up from his seat on the bed, Spencer grabbed his head and yelled in utter disbelief.

“What?!”

“Spencer, calm down,” I tried.

It didn’t work.

“What do you—she’s only 16! What do you mean it’s her—?!”

I watched from the sidelines as his brain short circuited. He tried to pace, but ended up just trapped in the same spot with flailing arms and wild hair.

Eventually, he settled on the question that had made me so nervous in the first place.

“Where did she even get it from?!”

“I bought it for her,” I said.

The fight left his body immediately. Spencer fell back on the bed and buried his face in his hands with a dramatic groan.

I sighed, again.

I was fully prepared to let him wallow in the grief of his daughter’s childhood, too. But then he had to go and say something silly again.

“Oh my god, I wish you had been cheating on me,” he strained, “That would have been so much easier than this.”

“Spencer!”

“I’m sorry!” he conceded immediately, “I didn’t mean it. I love you, I’m glad you aren’t cheating on me.”

Despite his well-intentioned apology, he remained inconsolable. I thought about giving him a moment to spiral, but I also knew that this was a bandaid that had practically fused into his skin.

At a certain point, it just became necessary for us to discuss it—with or without the dramatics.

“I know this is upsetting for you, but our daughter is almost a grown woman,” I explained to my pitiful husband who continued to make sounds of general protest. “I don’t want her to think of her body as anything less than something worth feeling good about.”

Finally popping up from behind his hands, he returned a bitter laugh.

“Okay, but is she doing it to make herself feel good, or to please some piece of shit asshole quarterback?” he spat.

He didn’t appreciate the way it made me laugh, but I couldn’t help it. It was a ridiculous notion and he deserved to be mocked for it. 

“Spencer, your daughter would not be interested in a quarterback.”

He knew I was right, but in typical Spencer fashion, he refused to admit it.

Instead, he just huffed, “How would I know?!”

But I knew he would, eventually, respond to reason, so I didn’t relent no matter how much he begged me to.

“Sex shouldn’t be a scary thing for a teenage girl! I wanted her to know she can feel comfortable telling me things. Like if she needs condoms or the pill or, heaven forbid—!”

“Oh my god, please stop,” he groaned, “Just, give me a second, please!”

I allowed him the moment because I knew he needed it.

Sure enough, after a couple seconds of reflection and a few deep breaths, Spencer returned to his normal eccentricity. He even managed to chuckle to himself a little bit, although I’m sure he’d still felt his dramatics were justified.

He didn’t protest when I took a seat beside him on the bed. In fact, he was quick to lean on me.

I wrapped my arms around him and tried to stifle my laughter at how downtrodden he’d become. My hand smoothed over his hand and I tried to offer him reassurance that everything would be alright if our daughter grew up.

“Oh, honey, nothing has changed. She’s still our baby girl,” I reminded him.

“I know,” he sighed. Then, through laughter he muttered, “It was just a lot for me to go from thinking you secretly hated me to our daughter wearing lingerie, alright? It’s a lot.”

He buried his face against my shoulder and took another deep breath before he held me back. The simple gesture reminded me just how much he’d probably been through in past hour. Of course, it had all been self-inflicted and based on comical perceptions. But it was a lot, and I always loved the chance to comfort him.

We sat like that for a while. We sat with the knowledge that we’d made it this far. There was something special about this fear, because it meant that we had done at least a few things right.

That didn’t really help assuage any of the fears for the future, however. 

“Is she having sex?” he asked.

I wished I had a better answer.

“I don’t know,” I admitted with an exhausted groan, “My plan didn’t work. She won’t tell me anything.”

“What do we do?”

It was a question I’d spent hours pondering only to end on the same-old, unsatisfying answer.

“I guess we just… wait until she’s ready to tell us about her boyfriend.”

Silently, Spencer lifted his head and turned to me. The foreboding returned with a vengeance, but this time, I was prepared for the question to follow.

“… her what?”

I’d always heard people say that domestic suburban life could be hell on earth. I’d always shrugged it off, convinced that I had figured out the impossible and remained happily in love with my wife and the proud father of a very well-adjusted daughter.

But as I stood in my bedroom, bereft of even the basic will to live while my beautiful, loving wife fixed my tie, I realized that they had been right.

Fatherhood was hell, and my wife was the devil’s favorite accomplice.

On any other occasion, her preening would have me melting between deft fingers. In that moment, however, I felt nothing but disdain at her attention to detail.

Because she was not doing it for my benefit. She was doing it so that my disheveled appearance wouldn’t upset another man. A cruel man who sought to steal away the brightest light of my life.

That night I had to meet my daughter’s very first boyfriend.

“Are you ready?” my wife asked.

“No, you took away my gun,” I replied with the utmost sincerity.

Clever eyes darted up to mine before she laughed. The sound brought me little comfort. I tried to be upset at how she took joy in my suffering, but my lips turned to a pout before a frown.

“Yes, you’re very scary, dear,” she hummed.

Then, without warning, she pressed her lips to mine. Perfectly painted lips felt different but still tasted sweet.

Those damned fingers smoothed over my shoulders until stern muscles relaxed once more.

Eventually they crept up and cupped my jaw. Gently—at first.

So quickly they turned brutal, pressing hard enough on my cheeks to force another pout from tired lips.

“He’s a sweet boy and you’re going to be nice to him, alright?” she warned.

If she hadn’t been squeezing me so tightly, she would’ve seen me smile.

“We’ll see about that,” I deadpanned.

Again, she laughed, and that time, it brought me all the comfort I could ever need.

That darling devil of a woman stole one more kiss before she whispered, “Good enough.”

For a moment, it was. But then the doorbell rang and, despite all her efforts to lift up a heavy heart, it still plummeted to my stomach at the sound.

So quickly, my favorite girls had fled towards the door and left me frozen in the lurch. My hands and feet felt numb as my heart tried to reason with a stubborn mind.

There were some things a father had to eventually face.

My little girl was growing up, and my bad knee probably wouldn’t survive the jump out of a second story window.

There was only one way out of this. I had to go through it all.

I could hear their voices, so full of joy and love that it made me ache at the thought of losing half of it.

But deep down, I knew that I risked losing her regardless of how much I resisted the boy she’d chosen.

So, eventually, I managed to shuffle stubborn feet down the hall and towards the living room.

Somewhat to my surprise, the boy’s presence was hardly noted. In fact, if my wife hadn’t been making such a fuss about the bouquet he’d handed her, I might have even missed him.

We locked eyes from across the room. The poor boy’s muscles seized in an instant. His shoulders crept towards his ears and he lost the battle of keeping his eyes on me.

There was a distant, fleeting feeling at the sight. Something not easily described, which made my palms sweaty.

My eyes almost fell to the floor, too, but they were stopped by the sight of my daughter. Seemingly unaware of my gaze, she’d thrown her arms around the boy the first moment that she could.

Again, my heart ached with a confounding feeling. With narrowed eyes and a fast-beating heart, I struggled to place it.

Thankfully, my wife was quick to interrupt before the two had caught me staring.

Before she called us all to dinner, though, I spotted that same wistful twinkling in her eye. She had simply been better at hiding it than me.

For that same reason, I let her take charge. I sat almost silent, successfully biting my tongue to save my daughter from the embarrassment of my unbridled enthusiasm.

Of course, her pride hadn’t been the only reason that I’d hardly spoken. There had been a couple more selfish desires.

The first was my unwaning concern about any boy who’d so much as looked at my daughter. However unlikely it might have been, I had to be certain that this boy was as harmless as he seemed.

My mind began running a million scenarios of increasing horror. Yet right before the fateful final moment, the theoretical fell flat.

There was, to my relief, almost nothing disconcerting about the boy.

Almost.

There was still… that funny feeling.

“Dr. Reid?”

The sound of a familiar moniker in an unfamiliar place—from an increasingly familiar voice.

“Hm?” I answered the boy.

“I hope it doesn’t sound rude, but I looked you up before I came,” he said with the telltale crackling of a nervous teenage boy.

“I don’t think it’s rude,” I said.

That’s what I would have done, was the unspoken realization.

“Well, that’s a relief,” he laughed.

My wife and daughter stifled a chuckle as they exchanged a secret set of glances that I didn’t understand.

“Your writing is way more advanced than my reading level,” the boy continued, “but I did try to read some of them. Your philosophy papers seemed so…”

He struggled to find the next word. His face twisted between a smile and something similar to a flinch. I recognized the hesitance like a mirror to the past.

“Would… hopeful be the right word?” he asked.

“Yes!” I shouted, to my own surprise.

And that boy’s face lit up like a properly screwed lightbulb from one of my very poorly received philosophy jokes.

I had become so excited by the prospect of being understood—for once—by someone so young and green that I could hardly contain my excitement.

“Which paper did you—?”

I cut myself off when I heard a soft sigh from the boy’s side.

At first, I’d thought that it was my daughter trying to warn me of my first social faux pas of the evening. But I was instead pleasantly surprised to find her contented smile. Although, it was aimed at someone else.

“No, please,” the boy beamed, “I want to hear about all of them.”

I contained the buzzing in my fingertips that tapped against the table. I turned to my wife  for permission, but her slight nod didn’t provide me the confidence to continue.

It wasn’t enough until my daughter blurted out, “Go ahead, dad. I know what I signed up for.”

What confounding words to be uttered so simply. I didn’t dare question them then.

Instead, I answered his question. I spoke at length and about anything he could remember. To my surprise, the conversation wasn’t nearly as one or two sided as I’d expected.

By my daughters third question, I was forced to accept that she really had been listening to me all those years while staring down at her phone.

My wife had been the quietest person at the table. The whole dinner, she just seemed to lean back and admire the scene before her. But behind each sip from her glass, I spotted a cheeky smile that appeared alongside that wistful distance in her eyes.

I decided I would ask her later what she saw.

Later came sooner than expected, however. The summer sun had long since set when an unfamiliar phone dinged.

“Oh, sorry, it’s my mom,” the boy muttered. There was a brief disappointment that seemed to dissipate the moment he read the message. “I should really get going, anyway. I don’t want to take up your whole night with my curiosity.”

“He really would talk forever if you let him,” my daughter said under her breath.

I assumed it had been a comment about me.

I was wrong.

“It’s just not very often I get to ask a philosopher for his thoughts, okay?” he chuckled.

He must’ve felt my dumbstruck staring, however, because he stopped himself. He straightened his back the best he could but his hand still trembled when he reached out to me to shake it.

“It really was nice to meet you, Dr. Reid,” he offered.

I was too frozen by the shock of how many mistaken assumptions I’d made in such a short period of time to respond. I glanced down at his hand and recalled a time where I was adamant that I wouldn’t shake a strangers hand.

That hadn’t been true anymore (thanks to my very supportive wife and therapist), but my daughter still recognized the ghost of hesitance.

One stern look from her made me spring into action.

His hand was warm and softer than mine. The only calluses were caused by a firm grip on a pencil rather than a gun. There was nothing worrisome about the way he tried to follow every instruction manual for handshaking.

He was, as my wife had put it, a sweet boy.

“It was very nice to meet you, too,” I returned. Then, knowing how much it would mean to them both, I smiled as I added, “I look forward to next time.”

Their responses were everything I had predicted, and it was entirely worth whatever germs might have been transferred.

The moment I turned my attention away from them, I watched from the corner of my eye as they excitedly squeezed each others hands until their whole bodies were bouncing.

“I’ll walk you to your car!” my not-so-little girl shouted.

It was less walking and more dragging until he managed to catch up to her.

The sight tugged once more at my heart. That strange feeling crept forward again and I tried to find its name as the front door clicked shut.

My wife swiftly ended the thought, however, by grabbing my hand and taking off towards the stairs.

“Come on!” she half-whispered between her tugging and my stumbling.

“Where are we going?!”

“We’re going to spy on them!” she now fully yelled, “Hurry up!”

In a fit of laughter and with our hands never breaking apart, we did just that. We booked it up to the master bedroom and—with the lights still off—my wife’s clever fingers pried apart the blinds just enough for us to peer through them.

The suburban summer night was almost quiet enough to hear them make their inevitably awkward goodbyes. The soft glow of carefully placed streetlights painted my daughter in an even more beautiful light, and I could tell the boy in front of her appreciated it for everything that it was.

Yet he turned away from her first, with his hand lingering in hers.

Somehow, I knew what would happen before it did. Sure enough, my daughter refused to let go. She used that hesitance to leave and pulled him right back to her and straight into a quick, chaste kiss.

And that was when I realized what that feeling had been. That lurid memory, the subtle glowing of my heart, was the familiarity of it all.

The scene unfolded like a home movie ripped straight from my memory.

In perfect synchrony with that epiphany, my wife released a dreamy sigh.

“Do you remember when that was us?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I laughed, “I do.”

I remembered it all with perfect clarity, despite how far away it had fallen. I dragged the memories back up with the same insistence that my wife had used to bring me to that moment.

I remembered the butterflies in my stomach and the anxiety of knowing that I was madly in love with a woman that was much too good for me. I also remembered how it felt to clamor back into my car and have to drive away from her with the taste of transferred lipgloss on my lips.

As the boy drove away, I felt a wave of relief ushered on by my wife’s comforting embrace.

“I think they’re going to be okay,” she whispered.

“Yeah. Me too,” I agreed.

We’d seen it happen before.

(Tell me what you thought about this fic here!)

Looking for more to read? Check out my CM Father's Day Rec List here! It has SFW and NSFW categories.

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[spadeprincesss]

Four Swords mutant/experiment AU

This is an AU I role played with @saltyskychild way back in like 2017, but I thought about it recently and wanted to retouch it!

TW: torture here and there, human experiments, general violence, blood, kidnapping

General plot: all four links are kidnapped/handed in to the government at a young age because they all posses superhuman abilities.

Each ability corresponds to the element acquainted with their color in the Zelda games: Blue - water, Red - fire, Green - air, Vio - earth.

Zelda is also a mutant, she hides this fact from her father who is the person that set out the order to capture and experiment on mutants.

She secretly runs an organization that helps rescue mutants from these facilities, with the help of Impa and other sheikah characters.

Shadow is a human experiment, he’s never seen the outside of the facility. The very first genetically engineered human weapon.

The colors are divided into danger levels (taking a page from: X-Men here LMAO).

Blue and Red are beta level because they’re the easiest to neutralize.

Red’s powers are neutralized by water of course.

Blue is neutralized by the cold, he freezes over faster than the average human because of the increased levels of water in his body.

Green is alpha level, he’s kept sedated because they can’t cut his oxygen aka his power source. If left unchecked he can raise air pressure levels and escape.

Vio and Shadow are omega level threats.

Vio’s power is simple but he’s smart, he figures out really quick that anything earth related or derived from earth is under his control, making the use of any metal around him prohibited.

Shadow is kept in a bright room, his room has two separate generators in case there is a power outage, he can’t be allowed in the darkness for too long or else he’ll grow too powerful.

Note that all colors have the potential to become omega level threats, they are all under strict surveillance because of it.

Vio was part of Zelda’s organization prior to being captured, therefore he has more experience with his powers than the others. He’s hostile, manipulative, only high level personnel are allowed to watch over him. He has a track record of talking his way into getting new employees to let him out.

This is how Zelda finds out about his facility, her informant (Vio) goes missing and she tracks it back to this facility and tries to rescue them all.

In Vio’s first escape attempt he uses the chance to see how many people are there, finding the other colors and deciding he has to make a plan that lets them all escape.

Along the way he sees Shadow, and Shadow becomes intrigued as soon as Vio nears his door and says “I promise I’ll get you out of here.”. No one has ever said that to him, everyone tells him he’ll be a weapon or rot in here.

Vio lets himself be recaptured, confident he can find another way to escape, hopefully to even contact Zelda. He could easily escape by himself, but abandoning these people here is cruel.

More notes to come if enough people take interest. Might write a fic too if people want it. Look forward to doodles about this AU as well.

[wonysugar]

show them | lee chaeyoung

synopsis: your camgirl best friend invites you to feature in one of her shows<3

pairing: camgirl!isa x fem!reader

genres: just pure smut tbh nothing else going on LOL

warnings: degradation, heavy humiliation, voyeurism/exhibitionism, objectification, kind of dumbification

word count: 1069

a/n: so i was working on my sana fic, but i had this thought stuck in my head and it wasn’t letting me concentrate so i wrote this instead. here are some crumbs to feast off of while i finish the rest!!

“thank you so much for the donation seraphinee!” thanked your best friend, isa, as she was pumping her fingers in and out of you with no mercy whatsoever whilst reading the comments and checking the tips. it’s been about 40 minutes and you still couldn’t fully believe you were here doing this, getting used in front of a camera, with a whole audience watching. and you were even more shocked that you enjoyed every bit of it.

first, her casually confessing that she did this for a living, and then straight up inviting you to one her lives? it all felt like a fever dream, but here you were.

“do you see this, baby? people are liking it, alot. maybe i should invite you over more often.” she said in a playful tone, still working her fingers inside of your walls, making you clench around her as you moaned out her name repeatedly. “don’t you think so, y/n?” she added as she increased the speed of her movements, making you a whining mess. words couldn’t come out of you, you weren’t bothered enough to make them come out.

“answer me, you slut.” she harshly pulled on your hair, making your head throw back as her fingering grew rougher by the second, making it even harder for you to form a complete and correct sentence.

“y-yes isa, i - fuck - i think so t-too.” you said, eyes rolling at the back of your head at her calling you ‘such a good girl’ for her. being so vulnerable like this for hundreds of people to see and get off to, getting used like this by your own best friend, all of it, turned you on so much. then, as you were getting closer to your climax, her rough movements suddenly stopped.

“awe, you didn’t get to cum, did you, baby?” she mocked, you whined out of impatience, bucking your hips for any type of friction, mumbling and muttering little ‘please’s as she chuckled. it was honestly pathetic.

“sooo needy. and you’re letting everybody see you like this, too. everyone can see how much of a fucking whore you really are, and you’re just letting it happen hm? you like being used by your best friend while a bunch of nobodies jerk off to it, don’t you, you dumb fucking bitch?” she giggled as your chest heaved up and down, desperately trying to find enough oxygen. then, she pulled out her fingers, which earned a slow whimper from you, proceeded to lick them thoroughly and turned to the chat.

“my loves, what do you think we should use on this poor, naughty little thing? she clearly would cum to basically anything at this point, i mean, have you seen her?” she mockingly said, spreading apart your pussy lips with two fingers so everybody saw how dripping wet you were, it was so embarrassing, but you loved it so much. “so, let your imagination run wildd.”

lots of objects were coming up, some of them absolutely ridiculous, but most people were suggesting something pretty average, like a vibrator or a dildo. isa, at that moment, was feeling cheeky, so she chuckled to herself and grabbed a vibrator from her drawer.

she motioned for you to get on your back, cunt diagonally facing the webcam, she set the toy on the highest level, not even bothering to look at the donations anymore. she was focused on you now, and only you.

“now, i’m gonna use this on you. you are not allowed to cum until i say you can, okay darling?” her eyes and voice lustful, like her only intention was to ruin every part of you, it sent chills down your spine. you nodded.

“words.” she added, you shivered. “y-yes ma’am.” is what weakly came out of your mouth, and in response, she laughed in your face.

“ma’am? god, you really are a whore. you’re like a stupid bitch in heat. you probably can’t even think right, poor thing.” she said, still laughing at you. soon enough, she pressed the vibrator against your clit, making you gasp at the sudden sensation. you swore you could’ve just came right then and there. but you couldn’t, you had to hold it in. for isa.

what felt like an hour passed and she pressed it harder, sometimes to the point that it hurt you, but she didn’t give a fuck about that. in fact, she wanted you to be in pain. she knew how much you wanted to cum, but she also knew the amount of effort you were putting in not to.

“pleaseeepleasepleaseplease isa let me cumm please i’ve been so g-good.” you begged, letting go of every last bit of dignity you had left, which already wasn’t a lot. but, you couldn’t help it, you felt like you were gonna explode.

“hmmm… do you guys think we should let her?” she asked the audience, gently massaging your folds as she continued abusing your core with the toy, making it almost numb. fuck, it hurt.

she looked at the chat with an innocent smile plastered on her face, waiting for responses. when she saw them appear, she was a bit disappointed on seeing that most of them were a bunch of approvals on letting you cum, but she also did agree that you’ve went through enough for that day.

she looked at your shaking body with amusement, because that’s all you were at that moment. a fucktoy, something to entertain her. “you wanna cum, love?” she asked, acting as if it wasn’t obvious enough. you nod eagerly. you quietly begged her to let you finish, breathy moans escaping your mouth also. then, she put the vibrator away and… replaced it with her mouth?? “then cum on my tongue.” she ordered.

the feeling of her mouth on you felt incredible, especially after having nothing but a vibration on your clit for 10 whole minutes. you honestly felt pathetic, because a singular swipe of the tongue is what brought you to your peak. you closed your eyes as the orgasm you’ve been waiting so long for hits you like a truck. you let out a long and loud moan, calling out to her in any way you could think of. that’s the thing, you weren’t able to think, it all just felt sososososo good.

“that’s right, show them how good i made you feel, y/n.”

[napfordinner]

My lovely friends, this is a friendly evidence-based post pertaining to the risk reduction of a few well-known health effects of 4n4 and mia. Including: Amenorrhea (loss of regular menstrual period), anaemia, digestive upset, dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, general well-being, and osteoporosis. It is quite a long post, but please let me know if there’s any other information you would like me to cover. 💕

🪐 Vitamins and Supplements:

• A-Z Multivitamin. Is beneficial for supplementation. For example, Vitamin C is a vitally important vitamin for the body’s connective tissues, including the maintenance of healthy bones and teeth, cellular formation and maturation, resistance to infection, and an increased ability to heal. Additionally, B12 contributes to an adequately functioning nervous system, bone marrow, and intestinal tract. It also acts to increase metabolism of protein, carbohydrates, and fats. Finally vitamin B2 when combined with Vitamin A promotes good vision and healthy skin, as well as assists in metabolising proteins and fats at a cellular level.

• Calcium and Vitamin D. Seek a preparation which offers 1000mg of calcium and 10-20mcg (400-800 iu) of vitamin D. Vitamin D increases the bodies efficacy during the absorption, retention, and metabolising of calcium. Calcium of course being vital for bone integrity and imperative for the prevention of osteopenia/osteoporosis.

• Iron. An appropriate iron intake will restore the functionality of red blood cells, allowing the proper oxygen transportation around the body, increase focus, energy, athletic performance, and sleep. Having a sufficient iron store will alleviate some commonly experienced symptoms of low iron including fatigue, dizziness, pallor, and shortness of breath. It may also reduce the sensation of cold hands and feet.

• Potassium and Zinc. A lack of zinc impairs the ability to smell and taste. Connecting this impairment to nose blindness. For example, a lack of a sense of smell and taste may impair one’s own ability to detect their own bad breath, BO, and other unpleasant smells that others may be able to detect.

• Omega 3’s - Fish oil, Krill oil, Hemp oil, or Flaxseed oil. Improper dietary intake, or supplementation of omega 3 fatty acids will result in areas of epidermal (skin) dryness, hyperkeratosis, and hyperpigmentation. As well as the formation large scales expose underlying tissue, which are easily infected. The hair becomes sparse, dry, lusterless, and brittle, with a reddish tinge. Furthermore, nails become brittle and dull, tear production reduces, the tears are also significantly less oily leading to increased evaporation contributing to chronically dry, red, and itchy eyes.

If oil supplements are scary for you to intake due to calorie fears (there is only approx 25 calories in 2 average fish oil capsules). There are dietary sources of omega 3 that are relatively low calorie including chia seeds, edamame, and seaweed. However they provide little amounts in comparison to supplementation or traditional dietary sources such as fish, avocado, oils etc.

However this should also be considered when deciding whether to supplement omega 3’s - they stimulate the secretion of leptin, a hormone that decreases appetite and promotes the burning of fat. Through the enabling of conversion of dietary fats into body cells for burning as fuel.

🍄 Dietary Intake

•Bone broth (or vegetable broth if meat is not apart of your diet ☺️) I cannot stress how great bone broth is! Extremely low calorie, but incredibly nutrient-dense. It also acts to decrease the inflammation within the gut that many of us will experience due to our dietary habits. Including conditions such as constipation, gastroparesis, liver disease, bloating, abdominal pain, and stomach ulceration.

Bone broth also contains large amounts of protein, collagen, iron, vitamins A and K, fatty acids, selenium, zinc, and manganese. Protein being the most satiating macronutrient can decrease hunger and associated discomfort. Collagen and the variety of micronutrients within the bone broth contributes to joint and bone health. Bone broth will also contribute to hydration.

•Nutrient-dense foods including blueberries l are among the best sources of anthocyanins (antioxidants) that promote brain health and reduce the risk of cognitive decline. Additionally, red tomatoes and red capsicum (Peppers). Tomatoes are the richest source of lycopene, which is a type of carotenoid found in red fruits that has powerful antioxidant effect that may help protect against heart disease and certain types of cancer.

•Fibre is imperative for smooth gastrointestinal function, including regular bowel movements. Fibre is of course typically found in whole fruits and vegetables, beans/lentils, and whole grains. Low calorie fibre sources include: red kidney beans, carrot, and chickpeas. Psyllium, chia seeds are also good sources of fibre. Fibre supplants such as Metamucil may also aid to increase fibre intake. An adequate intake of fibre may reduce the dependence of laxative for bowel movements. Prolonged use of laxatives may create a dependency on them to even have a bowel movement.

🥥 Adequate Hydration

• The best way to ensure adequate hydration is simply by consuming enough water during the day. However, if plain water consumption is difficult, fluid intake will also suffice. Including fluid such as teas, flavoured/enhanced water, diet soft drinks, juices, etc. The optimal fluids to consume in addition to, or instead of simple water to ensure adequate hydration is mineral water, coconut water, or diet electrolyte replacements (Powerade/Gatorade, Pedialyte, Hydralyte). Correct hydration and electrolyte intake will reduce headaches, constipation, and muscle cramps/weakness.

❤️ Reproductive Health

•Amenorrhea is a common experience for those of us with a uterus. However it is imperative to understand that you are more than likely still ovulating despite the lack of a regular menstrual period. Therefore, contraception must still be used. Amenorrhea may be alleviated through dietary supplementation and small changes to the diet to include more micronutrients, but it may not be completely fixed unless there is an increase to body fat percentages.

[slashersgostabbystabstab]

Telltale

Singularity x Reader

Hiiii. It's been a while, I know. I won't get into it 'cause it doesn't matter, but sorry for basically abandoning my blog lol.

Obviously not my best work, but just trying to get back into writing (especially because I'm kind of just taking a break from my original story I've been developing ^^). I hope you guys at least find this decent, thank you for reading :) I just wanted to try my hand at some things with Hux because he's been on my mind a lot lately

Words: 1,840

Warnings: Typical canon violence mentioned(tell me if I need to add anything else!). Edited but I should have edited again lol

Hate. It was the perfect word to describe how he felt about the rats who called themselves humans. No: rats was too good of a  word for them.

He hated these…parasites. Hated every bit of them. Hated the way they thought themselves mightier than all. Hell, he even hated the way they sounded.

In fact, Hux especially hated the way they all sounded. 

Their conversations were obnoxious, as was the way they chewed and drank. The way they breathed in the oxygen in his presence; it was atrocious. And it was especially awful when their breathing blew out traces of fear. And with fear in their systems came the sound of their hearts. Oh, the beating of their frail, little hearts always managed to increase his fury.

When it wasn’t the ear-shattering screams piercing the Entity’s realm that brought such a fury, it was the quick, dull drumming against their chests.

The screams, the shrieks, the cries….those were all momentary. They were released once flesh was impaled by rusted hook, and they ended once Hux’s voicebox demanded they quit the squabbling. 

But Hux found the sound of their hearts maddening, and he would never admit his own fault to this madness. The price for such heightened senses was paid with every irritating sound that was capable of physically paining him. 

Trials proved vexatious with how often he was subjected to the beatings of their hearts. Nobody could hear these things like he did; nobody experienced the pain that came with hearing such an awful, repetitive noise. And the sounds only continued when he got out of every trial and returned to what could be called his “home”. Once his stroll involving the harmless sounds coming from Dvarka’s lifeforms came to an end, he was met with sounds from within the inhabited Huxlee Caracas III. 

Hux could only stand in the doorway of the ship, twitching more than the usual as his systems caught the sound of a heart beating.

“Find it.”

That voice. How it startled him every time. Even after all this time, Hux had not yet grown accustomed to the voice inside him.

“Terminate it.” 

Hux refrained, still standing as he searched for that voice as if he didn’t know who it was spoke to him.

“But it will come back.” he countered, practically feeling the heart’s beats pounding from within his own head. “It comes back every time.”

“Then terminate it again.”

Hux quickly whipped his head to the side where the heart’s beats proved to be loudest.

“And again.”

Finally he moved; jumping in place before hurrying up the steel stairs that connected the ship’s levels. The heart sounded louder now that he was up the stairs and in the second story; it was as though the heart pounded in his very chest.

“There it is.”

“There it is.” he repeated once his sensors scanned the area, having caught sight of the body of the singular survivor that was ever allowed in his realm when not in trial. Not like he really left them the choice to leave.

Hux stood in the doorway of the new floor; his movements having ceased as he pondered and listened to the voice in him.  It was insidious how stealthily he remained in place, so stealthy that the survivor never once noticed his arrival, never once noticed how he crept closer to the pile of futons they lay curled upon. 

“Terminate it.”

And with the thumping drumming loudly through his systems, Hux obliged and brought himself even closer towards the human. In fact, desperation had entered him and prompted him to raise his scythe up high, aimed at the human who had still not become aware of him. 

What a fool. 

He had moved so fast he sliced into the wind without a sound, so fast that he nearly plunged his scythe into the human. Almost, for his scythe was forcibly hindered midair. 

“Why did you stop?”

It was a rather good question provided by his inner voice. Why did he cease what he had already performed various times? He never hesitated to do it in the past when he questioned why this human had caught his attention. But now…

Hux found himself motionless once more, frozen as he processed the sounds this human made. The breaths they inhaled before exhaling it back out as carbon monoxide; even their bodily functions expelled waste. The soft groans their lips released as their eyes and eyebrows twitched in reaction to whatever dreadful things they dreamt of. The blood running through each and every vein that connected to their core.

He isolated the sound of their heart. That sound…it was what forced him to hesitate. It was tantalizing how it beat inside of them in a way he would not be able to see unless he proceeded with his previous actions. It enticed him how the heart beat in a rhythm he could actually distinguish as something not recognizable.

The heart did not beat fast. It only beat loudly when Hux finally processed it, and it wasn’t pounding against his innards. Instead…it was in a state of diastole, pumping blood in a relaxed manner. There was no terror or hate present in it. 

Hux finally lowered the frozen claw back to his side, as it stood in his sights and did not allow him to examine the survivor. His sensors gave them one good scan, taking note of the lack of fright in their snoozing expression. With such an expression, it was as though they believed there to be no danger in their presence. As if nothing in the Entity’s realm would ever harm them.

“What a fool.”

Both Hux and the voice in him spoke as he glazed over the survivor. It was then that he noticed something peculiar.  In their arms was a miniature box he recognized as a monitor belonging to the ship. And in between the sounds of the human’s soft heartbeats and a gentle groan, he caught the sound of the monitor’s humming. Quite reminiscent of the sounds that came from his perfect body. 

The monitor in the survivor’s arms was up and running, though it merely displayed a blue screen awaiting a command. It was strange that they removed the box from its place to hold it like some trinket.

“Hux?”

This was not his voice. No, this voice belonged to the survivor whose eyes now opened, eyes fluttering like the alien organisms that flew around the base. He watched them release the monitor with a single hand to rub said eyes, vision clearing enough before it resulted in something new. 

The thumping against their chest, that same annoying sound was back with how their heart rate increased. Yet…the rhythm once again proved itself different from what he would typically hear in trials. Once again, it lacked terror and hate, and it was very apparent to Hux.

“Were you gone for long? I’m not even sure when I shut my eyes.” the human stretched their arms out before sitting upright with the monitor in their lap. 

“Answer unknown.”Hux promptly replied. “Explain.”

“Explain?” they asked with a few blinks of their eyes, soon realizing that Hux was referring to the monitor once he placed the tip of his claw on its surface. “Oh! Well, I was just waiting to be called in for a trial and decided to play around with the stuff here.”

They offered him a grin, but soon turned away rather sheepishly.

“I somehow found myself getting drowsy and just…held it as I dozed off I guess.”

“For what purpose?”

“Oh, I dunno…I guess it was just…comforting.” they offered a shrug with their fingers tapping against the monitor. “Sounds kind of like you. Helps me center myself when all these sounds are around me. I guess I just love the sound of you.”

“But you hate the sound of them.”

“No.”

“No, what?” Both his voice and the human questioned his response. “Hux?”

He quickly whipped his body around to face a nearby crate, and he used his same claw to stab into it.

“Sit.”

Clearly not needing to be told twice, the survivor immediately stood from their makeshift nest to take a seat on the crate. From their new, higher point that matched something close to Hux’s chest, they watched him circle until he stood before them. Almost immediately, he hunched over to look them directly in the face.

He honed in on their sounds once again as he ignored the noises from within the Huxlee Caracas III and the noises from the organisms outside of it. And just as he did that, he heard their heart increase in rate again. 

Did they finally feel fear? The fear that struck them every time he hunted them down before the Entity forbade them from ever facing each other in trial…was it back?

Hux heard their heart slow down as he noticed their facial features grow soft, a small smile now present on their face as they hesitantly reached a hand out to his head.

“Can I?” they whispered into the visor that hovered inches from their face, not getting any response from Hux which was his form of consent. They placed their hand on the side of his head, listening to the machinery attached to synthetic flesh. Their warm fingers delicately rubbed circles into his flesh; that he could also hear.

And soon enough they brought their arms around him, enveloping his head that was brought to their chest.

“I love moments like these,” they breathed out, and even with Hux’s senses they weren’t overwhelmingly loud. It was nothing like the screams of all those other worms that mixed with the mechanical sounds of the generators being worked on, nor was it like the whispers of the Entity speaking to him as a false guide during trials. 

No, this was the contrary of all the other irksome sounds that drove him to madness. It was almost something that helped him ground himself amongst the big world he was thrown into. Something that would turn down his god-like senses, allowing him to rest from Entity’s mockery.

“Did something happen?” the human spoke to him, interrupting the sound of their own beating heart that now actually pounded against Hux’s head once he pressed his head against their chest. It was as though that hideous thing spoke to him through their chest, very well knowing he was on the other side.

“Stop squabbling.”

“Okay.” Hux did not look at their facial features, but the way they moved against him and tightened their hold told him that their smile only grew. He felt them rest their head upon his, listening to every one of the parts that moved inside and outside of him. 

They were clearly at ease with how they inhaled, soon releasing their breath as a warm air that covered Hux’s head. It was foolish of them, but this foolishness was more than enough to help him forget about the sounds for just a moment.

[amiactuallydoingthisblog]

It’s a week before the finale and so I’m figuring out how the fish aquatic mammals (see my Telchin evolution post for details) can breathe air, freshwater, saltwater, and live on both land and the bottom of the ocean, which are questions I’ve had since we’ve met Ulysses. This post is going to be a bit more biological process/science communication heavy, but I’ve linked my sources where applicable.

First, lets talk about the gills. Gills are tissues that are filled with thin blood vessels called capillaries. As water is passed over the gills, oxygen diffuses from the oxygen-rich water into the oxygen-deficient blood. This works because particles/gasses/etc like to move down their concentration gradient, from areas of high concentration to areas of low concentration.

To have a consistent supply of oxygen, water needs to be constantly flowing over the gills. This is easy to do while the Telchin are swimming, but when they’re not, my thought is that the ear fins flap to push water down past the gills.

In order to live on the bottom of the ocean, Telchin would have to deal with the pressure difference. Marine mammals in real life can dive down to 2,000 feet, and they are able to mitigate the change in pressure using a number of adaptations. The main one which I think the Telchins use is the collapsing/contracting of the lungs and other airways to prevent them from imploding under the pressure. They also would have thicker/more insulated skin to help with the cold that comes with the deep ocean.

The salinity (amount of salt) of the environment is important to any organism, but especially to aquatic animals. Salmon and American eels, however, are two species that travel from saltwater to freshwater over the course of their life cycles. Salmon (and by extension, the Telchin) can do this because of a number of adaptations, most importantly a molecular pump in the cell walls of the gills that pump salt out of the blood when they’re in saltwater and into the blood when they’re in freshwater.

As far as I know, only lungfish breath both air and water. They are almost the reverse of Telchin, having started out with gills and then evolving a primitive sort of lung. Telchin have both lungs and gills, so they can mechanically breath both air and water, but my question is how they change from breathing water to breathing air. My hypothesis is that when the O2 levels in their blood are too low, they switch methods of breathing.

Your body already senses the amount of oxygen (I tried to find a suitable popular source for this and failed, so this is a scholarly article, just so y’all know) in the blood, and responds when O2 levels are low. When a Telchins oxygen levels are low, their body will either lessen the blood flow to the gills and open up the lungs (using the same system that prevents the lungs from being crushed by the pressure) or vice versa, increasing blood flow to the gills and closing the lungs.

In summary: fish can do cool things, and therefore so can the Telchin.

[bubble-popping]

day 23 and i'm inspired by a certain someone to share my own 'dreamxd as a loving and protective parental figure to dream' kind of au :D

Dream's frame shook as he sobbed, tears catching on the rim of his hood which was pressed snugly to his face. He hugged himself tightly, knees to his chest, curled in a safe little ball where the rest of the world couldn't reach him. Guilt and fear gripped his rapidly beating heart, a hummingbird in a too-small cage. He could still hear them, the mocking laughter of his classmates, shocked gasps from his friends too stunned to react. But that cruelty wasn't what scared him.

He was vaguely aware of the sun beginning its descent in the sky, that his friends and family were probably worried sick about him right now. Again, they weren't what concerned him at the moment.

Tiny squeaks made him tense. A blob wiggled out from his hoodie pocket, and his anxiety increased tenfold.

Dream brought the small creature into his hands, no bigger than his little fists, and yet the weight of a thousand suns rested in his palms. A gift from XD, meant to keep track of him and accompany him when XD couldn't be there. A blessing, and a curse. It whined at him, expression distraught and smile gone. Confused by the lack of his precious mask.

"It's okay! I'm okay, I promise! Please, don't tell XD-"

"Don't tell XD what?" The last voice he wanted to hear spoke behind him.

"N-nothing!" Dream answered too quickly. "Everything's fine, I'm fine." He struggled to keep his voice level. For the life of him, his lips just wouldn't stop quivering.

"Dream. Don't lie to me. You know how I feel about that." They said, firm, unyielding, terrifying-

Dream's throat closed up. He couldn't respond even if he tried.

He heard the shift of robes, of feet finally touching the forest floor, of feathers brushing each other as wings flexed. The blob he held warmed in an effort to soothe his trembling.

"Stand up and face me, Dream."

Dream winced, face scrunching like he was ready to be struck. Slow and hesitant, he got to his feet, then turned. He refused to look up from the grass. XD's robe blending with the color of the ground was so much easier to focus on than what their reaction would be, especially after Dream heard their sharp intake of breath.

If he wasn't so afraid, maybe he'd wonder about the intentions of a god knowingly inhaling when they didn't require oxygen to survive.

"Child..." they began, much gentler than their previous tone, "what's the meaning of these tears? And where's your mask?" But in Dream's mind, they just sounded hurt, betrayed.

Without warning, the small mortal broke down in sobs. Clutching the blob, he wailed apologies and pleas of mercy. His shoulders shook, a leaf fighting against the strong winds of a hurricane. He knew he looked nothing like the fierce, confident prodigy he'd promised XD. The god saw him for what he really was. Just a scared little boy, totally unworthy of their power, of the coveted status being a Prodigy brought.

To his utter surprise and bewilderment, he felt the tender touch of fingers pulling back the edges of his hood and large hands cupping his face. Thumbs brushed away the rushing tears. Dream found himself frozen, staring into warm green eyes just like his.

XD smiled at him, kind and soft and... human. There was no disappointment, no anger, no frustration.

Dream didn't understand. He'd let them down. He showed his weakness. They could see it, plain and clear as the grass was green and the sky was blue, and yet...

"Y-you're not mad...?"

"Why would I be?" They tilted their head. It was strange, XD rarely went without their mask. Their freckles were like little galaxies, features too perfect to be true, but they could pass as his sibling. Another question for a time when Dream wasn't so confused.

"I, I got in trouble... There was a different teacher today and she," he hiccuped, tears returning full force at the memory, "she took my mask. I cried and e-everyone just laughed at me-" his voice cut out, overtaken by messy blubbering.

XD merely shushed him, dual sets of arms wrapping him in comfort and warmth as they tucked him under their chin. They whispered soft reassurances, tone the embodiment of thick blankets and fluffy pillows. Hands combed through his hair, rubbed circles into his back, held him close. Six wings folded around him, further shielding his form until Dream could truly believe they were the only ones in the world.

Exhaustion began to set in, eyelids growing heavy, and made infinitely worse by the melodic humming of his god. The grip he had on XD's robes gradually loosened, cries dying down.

"Rest now, my child. You've had a long day. We'll talk in the morning."

"Promise...?" Dream murmured after a moment of silence, teetering on the cusp of sleep.

"I promise."

With that, the young boy let himself fall into sweet slumber.

[iamthekaijuking]

suaropods on earth are the absolute upper limit for land vertebrates, but is it because they have four legs? cause i was working on a scifi spec evo idea where the endoskeletal vertebrate-analogs have eight legs and it got me wondering if it means their sauropod equivalents can be even bigger in a similar earth like gravity

If it was just about leg numbers then land mammals wouldn’t be smaller than the biggest dinosaurs

In reality you need specific evolutionary pressures, circumstances, and unique and efficient anatomy to get big.

For sauropods it was entirely due to their internal anatomy. Sauropods are saurischian dinosaurs, which have hollow bones with internal scaffolding that likely made them stronger than if they were solid, as well as a very extensive respiratory system that included numerous air sacks, many of which ran through their bones. This ultimately allowed saurischian dinosaurs to massively cut back on volume and allow them to cool off easier and have more efficient respiration. There’s things we still don’t know about sauropod anatomy though such as how their circulatory systems combated their sheer verticality. Dinosaurs also have unidirectional respiratory systems, which is more efficient than mammalian two way airflow.

For modern baleen whales it has more to do with the aftermath of the last ice age and how it impacted the location of their food (keep in mind this explanation of the evolution of baleen whale size is based on my current understanding and might not be correct). Baleen whales actually used to be much smaller, around bus size. But during and after the last ice age the ocean currents changed and krill populations became concentrated around the poles. Because of this, baleen whales needed a way to eat as much as possible in one sitting and travel long distances efficiently. The easy solution was to get big, which became easier as their predators the macroraptorial sperm whales and Otodus megalodon gradually went extinct. A thing to note however, is that because they need more resources due to their size, the number of baleen whale species is lower than it was several million years ago. Also also, blue whales are getting bigger.

On earth, 200 tons is more or less the maximum size for animals, as the biggest whales, ichthyosaurs, and sauropods got around that size.

There’s more things to note though:

No, higher oxygen levels don’t make things bigger. Not even bugs. Modern arthropods are actually on average bigger than their Carboniferous counterparts, and the oxygen levels were way higher back then. And griffinflies, very active flying insects, lasted all the way into the Permian, when oxygen levels were lower than in modern day.

It’s important to consider what the bones of animals are made of as well as their structure. Different internal structures can handle stress better, and different materials can handle pressure differently.

Eight legs might be too many, as having more legs, while very stable, can be more energy costly. Two legs might not be able to support as much weight as four, but it is more efficient.

A very big thing animals have to fight with when it comes to size is something called the square cube law. Basically as something gets bigger its volume (insides) increase way faster than its outsides (surface area). If you had a 1 centimeter cube and doubled its size, the surface area would quadruple but the insides would increase eight times. But there are ways of combating this such as decreasing volume with things like air sacks or increasing surface area by being very wrinkly (that’s how human brains fit so many neurons!). And because things with a metabolism generate heat, big animals have to combat overheating because they have a lot of insides. That’s why elephants have such big vascularized ears and why their skin acts like a sponge to soak up water.

Also I have no idea how perucetus got so big, that glorious fatass

[marredroses90]

He was tired that afternoon. His limbs could barely function. Beads of sweat plastered curly brown hair to the sides of his face.

His hands were calloused from steering. How long had it been again? Dimly, Leo was well aware it wasn't long until the blisters cracked and bled. Wistfully, Leo felt his heart twist at the sight of Percy and Annabeth. Eating side by side, Annabeth attempting to toss a carrot into his mouth. You will always be the seventh wheel. Nemesis' words rung in his ears. He dug his nails harshly into his palms, pausing before they drew blood. Clenching his teeth, he redirected his gaze to the afternoon sky.

A hollow feeling wedged itself in his chest, settling at the bottom. Sweat plastered his curly brown hair to the sides of his face, and blood roared in his ears. Vaguely, he knew this was abnormal. The cold breeze danced through the warship, engulfing it inhabitants with a soft swish, before exiting again.

"Leo?" Jason. The voice echoed, like it was far away.

"Yes?" Tearing his gaze away from the sunset, he commanded his vision forward.

"Woah. You good?" Percy asked.

"It's fine," He bit out.

"Leo-" Piper began. Anger bubbled in his stomach.

"Gods, do you ever shut up?" The words left his mouth before he could stop them. A stab of guilt surfaced at Piper's shocked expression. He wasn't being fair to her. He knew that. Really, he wasn't being fair to any of them. It wasn't a single one of their fault's that he was stuck into the least desirable position.

He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. The throbbing sensation increased tenfold.

"...Everything all right?" Annabeth was saying. The others had found their way from the foyer. They were all staring now, all surveying him with varying levels of worry.

"Whatever," He scoffed. Ignoring the mirrored look of shock across the 6 faces staring back at him, he strode off.

____

"What was that?" Hazel is the first one to recover from her shock. A general murmur of agreement passed through the six.

"Someone should talk to him," Frank suggested.

"I got it," Jason volunteered. He didn't wait for protest. Quietly, he began the unfamiliar route to Leo's cabin.

___

Storming across the pavilion, he stopped at his cabin. The dizziness didn't stop. Leaning against a rickety table, he panted. He can't breathe. The realization spirals into panic. He tried to inhal more air, but his efforts were futile. It felt as if someone had wrapped a hand around his throat, blocking the oxygen.

A knock at the door made him jump.

"Leo?" Jason.

The door creaked open.

part 2 here.

[spirk-trek]

Maybe if you can and are inspired something showing how smart Jim is? I live for genius!kirk!!! Please and thank you!

i hope you're still around to see this anon. i struggled with it SO much even though it's one of my favorite tropes ever. i'm quite happy with the way it turned out in the end :)

disclaimers: blood & injury, fake-real-science

read here on ao3!!!!

~*~*~*~*~

Spock.

The syllable drifted into his consciousness like an echo. Faint. Indistinct.

“Spock?”

He attempted to clear a path for rational thought, cataloging each sense as it returned to him. Pain. Disregard. Touch. The ground was warm beneath him, conforming to his body. Sand, he speculated. Pain. Disregard. Sight. None. Scent. Rotting vegetation. Sulfide. The metallic tang of blood.

“Spock! Acknowledge!”

Sound. Clearer than before. Familiar. Jim. 

He swallowed with some amount of difficulty. There was movement. Footsteps slipping over loose stone.

“I… am here,” he finally managed to rasp. 

The movement stilled. An expulsion of breath. 

“Stay with me, Spock.” 

Jim's voice, bounding off unseen walls, was imbued with a relief that was as illogical as the order it carried. Spock would not leave his Captain except in death.

“Stay with me,” he repeated the words nonetheless, though they did not carry as effectively as the first iteration. As though they were not intended to reach him. Upon consideration, perhaps his death had been the very thing Jim feared. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll get us out of here. Don’t…”

Spock wanted to deny his ability to do something so emotional as to worry, but moreso he wished to ask where ‘here’ was, precisely. He had the sense that he should know. Unconsciousness pulled at him again as he searched for an answer, a tide he struggled to resist, eroding the shoreline of his mind. He began to lose his body, sinking back toward wherever he had been before.

“Tell me- about- sodium chlorate.”

Spock’s brows pulled together. Surely Jim knew the properties of such a basic structure. 

“Sodium chlorate, Spock!”

This information was easier to access than where they had found themselves, or why his head was throbbing with each beat of his heart, so he forced a response from the back of his throat. 

“Formula… NaClO₃… Melting point… 521.01 kelvin… When heated… produces sodium chloride and…”

Oxygen. Yes. It became more apparent with each breath that it did not feel like enough. His mind opened, details of their predicament beginning to filter back to him.

Sodium chlorate. An elegant solution. 

“And?” Jim probed.

Spock did not finish his thought, aware now that the query was no more than an attempt to keep him alert. It had worked, for now, and it would be illogical to waste further breath providing Jim with information he already knew.

“Etherbane gas, Captain-”

“No-”

“Etherbane gas,” he insisted, and Jim fell silent, understanding his efforts were no longer necessary, “is currently filling the space... we inhabit. Estimated time… remaining with breathable air…” Spock thought back to prior calculations, existing on another plane. He considered the tightness in his lungs, Jim’s own struggle for breath, the echoes of sound around them. “Twenty three point seven… standard minutes.”

Jim did not answer immediately. When he did, his voice was quiet. Flat.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock.”

Following his words, for the first time since regaining consciousness, Spock saw. A flash of red accompanied by the sound of phaser fire.

“Captain-” 

“Increasing oxygen levels could displace it, dilute it even…” 

He was muttering to himself, seemingly unharmed, although the crackle of rocks tumbling over themselves continued.

“Captain,” he tried again. “I fail to see… how we will  produce oxygen without-” 

“A catalyst, yes,” Jim completed the thought, though provided no further insight. “Kirk to enterprise, do you read? Kirk to Enterprise. Acknowledge.” 

His communicator flipped closed when he received no answer. 

“There’s got to be a way. ”

“Perhaps… not one available to us.”

Jim did not answer. Spock could once again make out the sound of labored breathing, though it remained some distance away. His fingers twitched, irrationally thinking of reaching across the space between them. He forced them to still.

“Captain… It would be wise to conserve… your energy.”

“What for?” Jim pushed the question out with some degree of bitterness, jaw locked. More shuffling. More rocks. Spock pulled an unbalanced breath into his lungs.

“Longevity.”

“There won’t be any use for longevity if…”

He trailed off, coughing lightly. Spock did not have a satisfactory response to this, so he did not offer one, instead moving on. 

“If your intention is to burn… sodium chlorate… as a source of oxygen, it should be noted-”

“Etherbane is combustible,” Jim answered tightly. “It could burn up, suffocate us in the process.”

“Quite correct.”

“I’m aware of the risks.”

“I am unaware of the benefits.”

“I’m getting to that, I just need… What do I need? What do I need?”

“You are exhausting yourself.”

“How to control the burn, how…”

Spock was unprepared for the swell of unconsciousness that gripped him again, unable to fight it back this time, nor to utter another word before reality escaped him. With one last breath he attempted to form Jim’s name, then faded away.

*  *  *

When Spock next awoke, he could see. Swaths of deep orange contrasted with black shadows high above him, flickering and shifting over rough rock, giving the illusion that the cave itself was swaying. Once more he disregarded the pain that jolted through his skull. Concussion. Severe, but not life threatening. He blinked several times, grunting with the effort it took to turn his head toward the source of light.

A vaguely cylindrical object was protruding from the sand beside him, yellow flame emanating from its tip. He squinted, attempting to bring his vision into focus. Several strips of gold were wrapped around the object’s base, visible between messily gathered clumps of clay.

Gold. Sleeves of a command uniform. 

A pulse of clarity jolted through him. Spock pushed himself into a sitting position, noting distantly that the task of breathing appeared easier than it had previously. He scanned the perimeter of the cave and found nothing. 

“Captain?”

No reply came. Alarm pulled him the rest of the way to his feet, a wave of dizziness causing him to stumble until he found a wall of stone to lean against. Again he looked around for any sign of his Captain, seconds of silence passing until, finally, he identified a disturbance in the otherwise smooth sand. Sinking, dragging trenches, the stride of which undeniably belonged to Jim. 

He followed the trail deeper into the dark, throat itching as the air grew thin again. Broken flakes of slate-like rock cracked under his feet as he staggered, pushed through shadow, stumbled-

Finally, a boot. Half buried. Completely still. Jim. 

More of his prone form was revealed as Spock rushed to his side, lying flat on his stomach, one arm outstretched. His uniform was torn messily from one arm. The hand it led to was slack. Unmoving. 

Dread, frigid and alive, writhed into Spock's stomach. He gripped Jim’s shoulders, pulling them away from the ground. His head pitched forward, unresponsive.

“Jim,” he spoke urgently, rolling the man onto his back. He brushed grains of deep purple sand from his face before grasping it firmly between both hands. No movement stirred behind closed lids. No spark of familiar energy surfaced at Spock’s touch. No thoughts. No emotion. No steady beat of his heart.

The flame at Spock’s back flickered, momentarily casting their corner in a wash of yellow, and his gaze was drawn up to a partially covered gap in the cave’s wall. Details began sorting themselves into place again, breaking through disordered bouts of control and lack thereof. 

The etherbane gas. Jim had been attempting to stifle the flow. 

He threw himself forward, deft hands making quick work of what Jim had begun before returning to his side and immediately gathering him in his arms. How long had he been breathing this concentrated flow? Could it be too late? 

No. He will not perish. 

It was an irrational promise, but it took root in him nonetheless before he could stop it. He carried his Captain back to where he himself had been laying before, all but collapsing to his knees beside the light. Before they had even settled he was covering Jim’s parted lips with his own, breathing what little he had into his lungs, cradling the back of his neck to open the airway. He straightened to press the heels of his hands down over his chest, timing each beat perfectly. One two three…

“Jim,” he groaned as he came up after yet another breath. More heartbeats. Ten. Twenty. Thirty.

Just as he was about to repeat the process for a third time, Jim gasped. His eyes flew open before slipping halfway shut, the spasm of his muscles fading as he went limp once more. Spock watched as his chest stuttered upward on its own. His lips as they moved ever so slightly until a word could finally form.

“Spock?”

He released the hands which had fisted into Jim’s torn tunic, pressing both palms flat to his own thighs instead. He sat back over his heels and made a futile attempt at taming the panic still chasing itself within him.

“I am here.”

Jim's arm shifted clumsily in the sand, nudging against Spock’s knee, and he peered down at it for a beat before realizing it was reaching for him. He reached back, the touch delicate, opting not to raise his shields with perhaps some amount of greed. The sensation of Jim’s still mind, vacant and dark, prickled unpleasantly in recent memory, but as they touched now he could feel Jim’s emotions there again. Faint, but unmistakable. Spock shut his eyes. 

“You’re alive,” Jim breathed. Relief. Contentment. Joy.

Spock blinked his eyes open again as Jim’s fingers attempted to fill the spaces between his own. Eventually, he settled for simply hooking one around his thumb. 

“Indeed.”

“Good.” 

Spock reached forward with his free hand to gently catch Jim’s head when it began to roll to the side, turning it back toward him. Hazel eyes, appearing deep brown in the dim light, finally opened and found his, though they didn’t quite focus. Long lashes fluttered with the effort of remaining open.

“Good,” he repeated, quieter. The weight of his head fully leaned into Spock’s palm now. Whether consciously or from weakness, it was impossible to tell. 

“Thought I lost you.”

Spock felt a sudden, irrational flare of agitation. Jim’s pleasant expression fell, the finger hooked around his thumb curling a little tighter.

“S’ wrong?”

Spock quickly pulled both hands back into his lap, feeling foolish. He turned away.

“Despite us both being revived, we remain trapped here.”

It was not the answer Jim had sought, and Spock did not expect him to accept it.

“Not what I…”

He trailed off, head falling once more to the side. Spock caught it again, shields in place this time, though they shivered dangerously as his fingertips brushed over Jim’s qui’lari.

“Jim.”

Dim golden eyes blinked open again.

“...meant.”

Spock did not provide a different answer, instead simply shifting to sit beside him with his legs crossed neatly. He tilted Jim’s head further toward him, not removing his hand until he was certain it was no longer needed for support. 

“Your head,” Jim mumbled. He lifted his gaze to look for some sign of damage in the dark.

“I shall recover.”

Jim hummed, one corner of his mouth quirking. 

“Gas can’t be pushed out yet,” he patted the sand beside him. “Lie down.”

Spock looked up instead, noticing the faint twinkle of stars through the sinkhole which had swallowed them. The gap was slightly wider than it had been. Spock recalled the sound of Jim’s phaser, of rocks tumbling down around them. This is how the etherbane was being ventilated, but given the density of its particles, how that was possible was still unclear. When Spock looked down again, Jim was watching him with a small grin.

“Haven’t worked it out?”

Spock’s eyes shifted back to the cylindrical object, opting for the distraction of considering its nature rather than the restlessness continuing to press in on his chest.

“I have had little opportunity to formulate a theory.” 

He hadn’t meant to convey such bitterness, but if Jim noticed he gave no indication. He chuckled anyway.

“Oxygen candle.”

Spock blinked. Jim coughed slightly and took an unsteady breath before launching into explanation.

“They used to have them- on naval ships. Submarines too, in case of depleted oxygen levels. Uses sodium chlorate and…”

“A catalyst,” Spock repeated his earlier sentiment. “There are none present.”

“Aren’t there?”

A gleam had returned to his Captain’s eye that softened Spock’s concern slightly. He raised a brow. 

“The stalagmites.”

Spock looked down into the sand, noticing the shards of slate scattered throughout it again, deep black in pigment and matching the pillars of stone rising from the ground around them. After a moment of thought, his face ironed out in realization.

“Magnesium dioxide,” he said quietly before turning his head quickly to regard Jim. “Its presence would have been masked by the etherbane gas to our instrumentation without manual adjustment. ” He cocked his head, brows drawing together. “How did you detect it?”

Jim’s smile was stronger now, his voice wavering less. He nudged his chin upward, looking off in a direction past Spock. “Our phasers. They have a magnetic component, for recharging the banks.”

Spock blinked. “And magnesium dioxide has magnetic properties. Of course.”

Jim hummed again. “Found enough to make a core for the candle, used the phaser I didn’t pull apart to ignite it, bound it tight enough to control the burn, clay for ventilation.” He smiled again, looking up at Spock and blinking slowly. “Simple.”

Spock stared at him in wonder for several seconds, astounded.

“That solution would not have occurred to me.”

Jim let out a huff. “I appreciate the flattery.”

“The likelihood of the necessary components being present are several million to one.”

“Several million, hm?”

“If you will forgive my lack of precision, Captain.”

“Forgiven.” 

He paused then, and Spock could feel his observance on the side of his face. 

“Would you please lie down?”

The same sensation from before crawled beneath his skin again. He could feel the edges of his control continue to fray, pulling loose like threads of an old garment marked by constant wear. He looked toward the now filled gap in the wall. The disturbed sand where Jim’s body had collapsed without the necessary oxygen.

"You constructed this… as you were actively suffocating?"

"Seemed like the logical thing to do at the time."

Spock’s jaw tightened. He averted his gaze from the disturbed sand. 

"Come here, Spock.”

Spock remained resolutely still, back straight. 

“You need to breathe-"

"No, Captain." 

"Spock-"

“It was unnecessary for you to risk your life in this way.”

Jim winced as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, but Spock stood abruptly before he could reach out, pacing swiftly away from their spot on the ground.

“Spock, wait- I had to reduce the risk of ignition-”

“You could have allowed yourself to breathe-”

“There isn’t much use in breathing if the whole place goes up in flame, is there?” Another pause. “I had no choice.”

“There is always a choice." He snapped the words, speech pressured, their voices overlapping. He shut his eyes and fought for control. “If I had not woken when I did, you would not have survived. That is the choice you made.”

To die. The words remained unspoken, heavy, suspended in the space between them.

When he breathed this far from the candle his lungs felt tight again. Logically, he knew it was due to the gas, but the residual tightness he had felt in his chest when he first saw Jim on the ground also continued to constrict him. He curled his body toward the darkest remaining corner of the cave where he was unable to tell where dark sand met the perimeter, arms hung loosely at his side, fingers unfurled and shaking. He hoped that Jim could not see them. 

"It was illogical,” he found himself saying. “Reckless."

Distantly, he registered the sounds of Jim pulling himself to his feet, of clumsy footfalls approaching him until a gentle touch came around his upper arm. Spock shut his eyes uselessly, able to feel the heat of Jim's body along his back, remaining perfectly still until the touch slid down and fell away. 

But Jim did not leave. They stood there, and Spock could practically feel indecision encasing them just as the gas had, as it still did, until the touch returned to his shoulder. Before long it was joined by a second hand, and both arms slid around Spock’s thin frame slowly, joining over his stomach, forming a firm loop. 

A hug, Spock realized.

A human gesture, intended for physical comfort. The touch had no purpose beyond this, but Spock found he had no desire for it to end. He quickly suppressed the warmth he began to feel in response, but he knew the name. Pleasure. Sun on his face. The sound of oasis birds. Jim. 

They stayed like until Spock felt the pressure around him loosen somewhat, enough for him to turn. When he did, he found the Captain looking up at him openly. His hands slid to Spock's lower back, a question in his eyes, searching for the answer in his face. Regardless of whether or not he found it, Spock was spared the burden of explaining himself any further. Jim simply nodded back toward the light. 

“C'mon."

He began to move before Spock did, but he followed as always, watching as the human dropped heavily back to the ground. Spock lowered himself wordlessly and stretched out flat on his back, parallel to Jim, both of their heads positioned near the flame. Only a few breaths later he felt his head begin to clear again, but Jim sighed beside him before he could submit to inner turmoil over his lapse. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Spock swallowed. The apology was unnecessary, but he found himself unable to voice his repudiation.

“I thought I had more time."

Spock did not answer this either. Not for several seconds. The regret that had half formed released now, broken apart into small enough pieces to flow through his bloodstream and touch every part of him. He knew that it would coalesce again. That they had only delayed the inevitable.

“I believe I understand the feeling, Captain.”

Jim turned his head at the same time Spock did, and their faces were suddenly so close Spock could feel the other’s breath touch the tip of his nose. The longing to reach out and touch multiplied exponentially in an instant, but he resisted, even as Jim’s gaze dropped to his lips and he was reminded that they had touched just minutes before. A memory of how the contact had felt pushed into his mind. If he tried now, if he allowed it, he could even recall the taste despite not devoting thought to it at the time, concerned only with sparing his Captain’s life. 

“Spock.”

His name pulled him back to the present, but when he brought his gaze back up he found Jim’s no longer on him. Instead he was looking somewhere beyond, head coming away from the warm sand and craning upward.

“Spock, look.”

And so he did. Above them, around them, shifting over the walls and glinting in the faint light, were what he estimated to be several hundred small, fast moving creatures comparable to insects. Their wings shone like jewels when the light from the candle touched them, revealing striking blue abdomens topped by twisting red antennae. A prickle of defensive vigilance wrapped around the back of Spock’s neck, making his hair stand on end, but he suppressed it just as he had everything else. The creatures did not attack, nor did they seem interested in doing so.

"Incredible,” Jim whispered, eyes darting all around the space to watch them, having risen into a fully seated position.

Spock pushed himself up to join him, their shoulders brushing together. In an effort to remain close to their halo of oxygen, he told himself. 

“Fascinating.”

Jim was blinking upward, wide eyed, an open mouthed grin unyielding on his face. Without looking away he grasped Spock’s shoulder.

"You don’t think we’re hurting them, do you?” he asked, reverent. Quiet. He leveled his head and met Spock’s eye. “The oxygen?”

Spock considered the creatures again and shook his head. “They do not appear to be fleeing.”

A cluster of them began to stretch their wings, revealing intricate, vibrant patterns indicative of flora. He frowned in thought. This directly contradicted the lack of living vegetation they had observed or detected on the planet before falling into its depths, as well as the known history of this world. 

Jim was curling his knees and getting to his feet, reaching down to dislodge the oxygen candle before offering his hand to Spock. He took it, despite perhaps not needing to, and leaned into the flame just as Jim did. They paced further into what had previously been only darkness. 

“Spock. Could it be the light?”

The Vulcan considered this as Jim shifted the candle slightly, presumably to test his hypothesis. The insects who’s light it touched began to open their wings while those who were consequently cast into shadow shuttered theirs. He raised the candle higher, over his head, taking a few steps ahead. Spock watched as several of the creatures arranged themselves into the unmistakable shape of a flower, each pair of wings another petal. A trail of them formed as if blooming wherever the light touched, following Jim’s progression further into the cave.

Jim was beaming up at them. Spock found he could not look away, though wished he had when Jim spun to find him again, seeing he was already being watched. Instead of confusion, aversion, his smile only grew. Spock’s heart missed a beat in his side. 

“Thoughts?”

Spock looked up again and placed his hands at the small of his back. 

“These lifeforms must have evolved prior to the stellar death of their sun," he began. "Likely, the generation we are seeing now have not seen light in their lifetimes, yet the vestigial instinct to attract pollinators for prey appears to have survived.” When he leveled his gaze again, he found Jim’s eyes stuck to him, listening intently. “It is reasonable to assume they are mimicking flora which have since gone extinct. Perhaps nyctinastic ones.”

He took a few slow steps toward the cave wall, so he could observe one of them up close, having to crane his neck to do so. Jim was at his side again, lowering the candle between them, and they shared a breath of fresh oxygen. Light danced over the lines of Jim’s face, catching at the corners of his mouth, the lower lashes surrounding his eyes.

 “Preserved in memory alone,” he murmured after a moment, then sighed again. He turned to watch the insects crawl over one another in an effort to chase the light in his hand.

“A little sad, isn’t it?” 

“It simply is, Captain.”

After a beat of silence, in a move that surprised Spock to his very core, Jim reached for his hand again. Spock allowed their fingers to touch, not knowing precisely why. For Jim’s to curl into his. For his thumb to swipe an arch over the back of his knuckles.

“Yeah,” he said softly, looking down at their hands just as Spock did. “Simple.”

Spock dared to lower his shields then, and immediately something unknown passed over the contact. A shadow. Not quite sadness, but not unlike it either. He found he did not have a word at his disposal to describe it.

“However,” he attempted to entertain Jim’s emotional assessment, hoping to alleviate whatever the emotion was. Jim lifted his head to watch him with an air of amusement, but Spock didn’t miss the spark of hope that accompanied it. “One could, perhaps, view it as a testament to the resilience of life, and find value in the fact that we now know the beauty of at least one species of flower which once thrived here.” 

Jim’s smile had returned. Spock’s stomach clenched at the sight of it.

“Life finds a way,” he murmured.

“Indeed.”

They remained like this, hand in hand, long enough for Spock’s heart to beat eleven times and for Jim’s to beat six, until the harsh sound of a communicator ultimately severed the moment. They jerked away from each other, candlelight wobbling as the flame tilted in Jim’s hand.

“Keptin? Keptin, are you there?”

Jim passed the candle to Spock almost carelessly and dove into the dark, digging through sand until Chekov’s voice became less muffled. He dangled the device from his fingers once it was extracted, shaking it several times before flipping it open.

“Kirk here,” he answered breathlessly. Spock approached and squatted down, holding the flame out toward him.

“Keptin! Is Meester Spock-?”

“We’re both here. Are you alright?”

“Back aboard the ship, sir. We’ve been trying to find you.”

“Well done, then.” Jim clutched the communicator in both hands, propping it against his chest. “Can you get a lock on us?”

“Thank you, sir. Yes, sir. The interference has cleared now.”

“Have Doctor McCoy on standby. Spock needs treatment.” Once again amber eyes lifted to scan the side of Spock’s head where evidence of his injury was most pronounced, frowning slightly at whatever he found. 

“Delay transport for the moment, Ensign. Won’t be long.” 

“Aye aye, Keptin. On your order.”

He flipped the communicator shut and turned to Spock, grinning, both brows arched toward the curl of blond lying against his forehead.

“Well? Shall we?”

Spock looked around them at the creatures once again, wishing for his tricorder which was left abandoned back on the surface high above. 

“I know,” Jim said quietly. “It’s a shame we can’t study them further, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

As they both stood, Jim touched his arm in sympathy before leaning forward and blowing the candle out, casting them into complete darkness. The touch dropped away and Spock straightened, preparing for the transporter beam to take them at any moment. The soft sound of a thousand wings folding around them was the last thing he heard before Jim’s voice drowned it out.

“Two to beam up, Mr. Scott. Energize.”