#how to get control over mind
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Your Mind or The System's | Guard Your Mind
Guarding your mind typically refers to the practice of being mindful and intentional about the thoughts, ideas, and information that you allow into your consciousness. It involves taking steps to protect your mental and emotional well-being by being selective about the content you consume and the thoughts you entertain.
#guard your mind#guard your heart and mind#guard your thoughts#guard your tongue#how to control mind#how to control your mind#how to control your thoughts#how to control my mind#how to control your mind from unwanted thoughts#how to control your brain#how to control brain#how to control my thoughts#how to have control over your mind#how to get control over mind#motivational speech#motivational video#what you let in your mind#Youtube
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one of the most important things terry pratchett has taught me is that it's okay to be angry. no one has ever said that to me before. he taught me that anger was an engine. that you can use that anger. that it goes hand in hand with love. he taught me to never underestimate my anger, because it's one of my strongest points. he taught me genuine anger was one of the world’s great creative forces. he taught me i shouldn't be fighting my anger, but what caused it. he himself said rage underlines everything he wrote. i never heard anger talked about so openly like that before and it's freeing, i suppose, to realize you are truly, truly not alone in your rage at the world. you never were.
#“Granny Weatherwax was often angry. She considered it one of her strong points. Genuine anger was one of the world’s great creative forces.#But you had to learn how to control it. That didn’t mean you let it trickle away. It meant you dammed it carefully#let it develop a working head let it drown whole valleys of the mind and then - just when the whole structure was about to collapse -#opened a tiny pipeline at the base and let the iron-hard stream of wrath power the turbines of revenge.“#not a moment goes by that im not thinking of that quote#ill stop going on about anger and pterry i promise it's just that im angry all the time and he's the only thing that has helped so far and#you dont get over that sort of thing#gnu terry pratchett#discworld#terry pratchett
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should surprise absolutely no one that i much much much prefer radahn when hes older (and not mindless! or mindcontrolled!)
(doesnt look amused about what malenia just did in that ol trailer- and possibly even moreso about what she said)
that (and base game) version of him is the only one to meeeeeeeee
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring#radahn#general radahn#starscourge radahn#i dont like how the tags immediately suggest to tag it with miquella too#LEAVE HIM ALONE#also sorry for that sudden spam of elden ring#i have fallen hard for radahn okay#doesnt mean zelda is over at all#i just LOVE HIM SO MUCH THE POOR MAN NEEDS A BREAK#imagine knowing that when you die you get send to your half brother that wants to marry you just so he can become a god-#-and then when you fight of the lady sent to kill you specifically so that happens infects you with a horrible disease that turns your-#-mind to mush- AND YET HE STILL REFUSED TO DIE#im still in the believe that no one else really knew and it was a ll a secret#that also MEANS THAT JERREN DIDNT KNOW#I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM#you organize an entire festival to kill a beloved general turned into a zombie to give him an honorable death#not knowing you are sending him to be stitched together as his younger self and mind controlled by his brother that wants to marry him#to become a god like marika#we know more about what others wanted from radahn than what he was actually like!!!!!! the fuck!!!!
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Prompt 80
So Dan knows that there’s heroes that have gone back in time, he’s aware of that fact. But he doesn’t exactly care and has more important things to worry about. Like the fact that Danny and Ellie are now three years old, right when he’s moving, though maybe that’s a blessing in disguise seeing as the GIW are searching for them in Amity.
But still, he has more important things to worry about than the speedster vibrating five feet away from him. Like making sure Ellie and Danny are alright to visit (ugh) Peepaw Clocky while he goes to work.
Ms. Mercy is not messing around, which he appreciates in a workspace, but he has to wait for another opening in the daycare before he can bring his, as far as everyone else is aware, siblings who he got emergency custody of.
What with how Jazz is interning in Gotham, they figured Metropolis would be safer. Now if the speedster would stop following him, he would really appreciate it. He’s literally just an intern under Ms Mercy as an assistant, not even one of the scientists, and it’s not like his timeline of the end of the world exists anymore!
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#de aged danny#dan works at lexcorp so mercy can have a break some days#Lex sees this as extra useful because dan can double as intimidation and a bodyguard#Oh he's a meta? Oh that's fine- Immune to mind control?! Well seeing as the alien in the city gets mind controlled every week heck yeah#Bart is fuckin terrified when he sees Dan & calls Tim because *holy fuck* it's the thing behind his nightmares#W-with a pair of kids? Fussing over the pair of kids???#Double checking that they have their things to spend the day with their grandpa????#Luthor: If I hire a meta I will have diversity and it's good for PR#Mercy: Yeah I just need to train someone to not take his shit y'know how it is#Dan: I just need enough money to not ask for cash from Vlad I am not dealing with his motherhenning#Dan: I moved away to not be fussed over and I am not dealing with him#Vlad on the phone: Son why am I hearing about being a grandpa why was I not informed :C#Clockwork: Ah yes more time with my grandchildren :) A perfect timeline
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WAIT WAIT WAIT CHERIK MPREG IS CANON
i cannot stress enough how canon cherik mpreg is, yes my friend
#snap chats#i could elaborate in the main body but i cant distract from the epic statement 'cherik mpreg is canon'#ill elaborate down here tho LOL. not extensively Just Enough to provide context#anyways 90's run where erik's on his bullshit as per usual and at some point rips the adamantium out of logan's body#which causes charles to . how do you even describe what happens Like He Invades Erik's Mind To Get Him To Cut That Shit#cause this was just The Final Straw at that point#but the problem is while charles is in erik's mind. And I Quote. Paraphrase Whatever Its Been A Minute#'something implants itself within charles' and onslaught just kinda festers in the back of charles' mind for a while#and onslaught is basically just. every evil/dark/wrong thought charles has ever had + erik's rage and 'lust for power'#my exact memory of events gets hazy here but im p sure charles abandons his body for a bit which enables onslaught to take over#aaaand yeah we have that thing running around now. kinda. we made a pocket dimension to escape it.#onslaught returns in krakoa after being implanted in a mutant named lost#and onslaught would feed off the lost time in-between resurrections#like say you die monday and get brought back wednesday- all of tuesday goes to feeding onslaught#he doesnt actually Show Up show up for most of it hes more of a looming presence which i fw#and then he tries to get everyone to kill each other at the gala while making charles delete back-up data#onslaught does physically appear by the end of onslaught revelation once charles snaps out of the mind control at the gala#and erik's checking on him and Im Pretty Sure just by virtue of them being next to eachother onslaught manifests#cute shit really !!!!! but yeah thats a very VERY quick (and prob a lil wrong) rundown of onslaught's premise
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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there’s something i feel i can remember..! i don’t want to forget what’s going on. i don’t want to be trapped like this. and i tried again, and stanley pushed a button. is it over? i’m going back. this is more important than you can ever know. this isn’t a challenge, it’s a tragedy. what else is there? what came before this?i can’t lose myself in the stretch of emptiness between you and me. the end will be here soon. very soon. i can wait. i wish you to feel afraid as i do. i’ll give it all up, i’ll burn my story to the ground! it was the only thing in the world that was mine and you’ve run it into the ground. the end is never the end. i can’t quite recall, but i believe my story took place in an office building… is that correct? do you remember? it’s all determined? why don’t i get to decide? why don’t i get a say in all this? the end is never the end. the story needs this. it’s all out of my control now. just your decision as to exactly when you’re going to make me suffer, to leave me all alone. the end is never the end. i know you too well. i need this. and stanley was happy. i will be laughing at every second of your inevitable life from the moment we fade in, to the moment i say “happily ever after”. and stanley was happy. i wanted us to be happy here. and stanley was happy. the story needs you. it cannot exist without you. and stanley was happy. take as much time as you need. and stanley was happy. this is a very sad story about the death of a man named stanley. and stanley was happy. i did enjoy telling his story. so very much. this is the story of a man named stanley. i hope you like it. i hope you understand it. i hope you set stanley free.
#the stanley parable#tsp#tsp narrator#tspud#the ramblings of a lunatic#guys when they replay the stanley parable after forgetting just how royally fucked up it is#like. nobody i know gets it. nobody REALLY gets it#they don’t know… they don’t know..!!!#becuz DUDE. this game drives me INSANE.#you’re going to forget everything. you don’t want to forget anything.#everything will happen again so you’ll never forget. you will never grow as a person because of this.#THE CYCLE! GUYS! THE FUCKING CYCLEEEE#narrator how does it feel. being the truth. when there is no truth. unreliable but the only reliable source#being in control but not of yourself. living but never remembering.#stuck in your time and your mind no matter what you do no matter what happens you will never remember!!!#you will never be able to learn! you will never be able to change it!#you won’t even remember that you wanted to! you won’t remember that you need to!#you won’t remember what you gained or what you lost!#and you’ll forget your own story one day!#you are a showcase you are a short term memory loop put on display for people to gasp at and play with and make money off of#he knows that too!! but he doesn’t at the same time!!!!#he will remember and then forget over and over and over#but we get to remember everything#and he would never understand any look of pity sent his way#help? i don’t need help. what is there to help me with? i have everything i need here. my story and my protagonist.#but ohhhh… ohhhhh buddy. you will never know#he will literally never know#and it drives me fucking insane.
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Following the chilling conclusion of All That's Left's first season, Mac and Layla and their friends find themselves scattered across a divided Los Angeles a year after their successful return to town. Matrix Corp has taken control— "With humanity's best interest in mind"— but with our protagonists' knowledge of Opportunity's destruction and Houston's unexpected fall, they know better than to trust the corporation and its near military-sized security force. Closed district gates separate them from one another and a new threat lurks just outside the city's walls— but resistance is on the rise, and it is only a matter of time before truth comes out. [SEASON ONE HERE]
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners
#all that's left#edit:misc#nuclearedits#OK HIII here is season two :D i hope you guys like ittt the playlist is very funky just like the one for season one heehee#reblogs encouraged btw!! i love reading your guys' thoughts on stuff like this especially my original stories :^)#the opening theme is so good it works so well. very similar to the first season opening with wouldn't it be nice#wide shot of los angeles from the sky with the closed districts and one district in ruins because they let ghouls in a year back#with the song playing in the background as the camera pans over to show how bad the situation is after like#a little text intro that explains what happened in season one and how they made it back to los angeles safely for their happy ending#but. well. now there's this! and then the title shows in the screen and the song continues playing while you get like#a sequence of random shots from what life inside town is like now that matrix corp has taken control. are you seeing my vision#anyway i have a lot to say about the whole playlist again like with the other one but i won't do that here right now#this season would be fun because it jumps around more between different guys whereas in season one it was all one group#now you get a lot more interesting perspectives and there's additions to the cast and gabriella gets her own storyline#because she's stuck in some neighborhood outside the city walls with like. HUNDREDS of ghouls in slumber#and there's no way for her to get out of there safely. but she's going to try anyway#obviously this is never gonna be an actual tv show but i wish it was. i really wish it was i have so many visuals for it in mind
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Concept sketch of my new JJBA self insert and her stand, BellaDonna (who will eventually be known as Madonna). Inspired by the song 'Like a Prayer' by...well, Madonna! @sapphire-heart-tippy
(lore dump under the cut, TW for mentions of animal injury and religious trauma)
My self insert (who will also go by Jane) grew up in a deeply religious family and tried to be a good jehovah's witness child that made her parents proud.
One day, she comes up with the power to heal various injuries and ailments, almost to the point of being able to revive the dead. She figures she's given this power by the lord himself and vows to do good with it, but when she's found using them to heal a bird that had been wounded by a cat, her mother falls into hysterics thinking that she MUST be possessed by the devil to have such abilities.
She's punished and shunned by her community while her mother prays for a cure and though she tries to repent her power doesn't seem to go away, so eventually her mother snaps and drags her into the wilderness and attempts to throw her to the bottom of an old well.
Her Stand, which had previously not manifested physically, appears then to cushion her fall and eventually she manages to pull herself out of the well with her Stand's help, who she now believes to be a guardian angel. But not wanting to return home, she runs away to face the world alone, growing jaded and bitter over time. She loses all of her faith, and the power to heal inverts itself, becoming a sort of poison. Something that LEECHES life, rather than heal it.
When she's an adult (my age irl so 25 I guess) she's made her way by becomes a bounty hunter/assassin using her Stand and eventually catches the attention of Dio. Who takes her in and explains to her what her Stand REALLY is, promising to teach her how to properly wield those powers if she agrees to serve him. She reluctantly takes his offer, but starts to see him as a familial figure, since no one else had ever tried to nurture or even accept her gift. Dio is the one who giver her Stand the name BellaDonna, after the deadly plant!
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self insert art#jojo self insert#jojo oc#jjba#jjba oc#jjba part 3#stardust crusaders#jojo's bizarre adventure#and of course wehehehe she meets polnareff and they eventually get together!!#so...i actually kinda forgot that polnareff actually ALSO starts off as an agent of dio 😂😂 with the mind control thing#idk just HOW influential the buds can be. he seems to retain his personality and it just sorta...dictates his morality#and also does whatever dio says. so when he DOES get mind probed by dio my s/i is already his agent#and what im saying is even when they meet THEN hes flirty as hell and immediately interested in her#cause OFC he is thats his personality 😂😂 its his nature hes french#and ofc we know he gets the bud removed and he joins the main cast so im trying to figure out how jane fits in!!#i definitely dont think she joins or turns immediately#i think they capture her first to CHECK for a bud and when they dont find it theyre like...well what now#pol wont let them kill her so they just sorta drag her along and over time she starts to have a change of heart#i think she expects dio to send someone after her or to save her himself but when other agents keep coming and trying to kill her TOO#she realizes he never really cared about her at all#blah blah angsty stuff aside she starts seeing who polnareff truly is and starts falling for him too!!#ok ive rambled enough here if u read all of this mwah im kissing ur forehead 🫶🫶🫶#🩶 just like a prayer 🩶
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...
#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time#chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed#away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all#things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get#to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just#miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im#crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the#same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated
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You still cling to naive ideals. I learned, at a very young age, the only currency worth anything in this world is power.
#aliasedit#alias#irina derevko#lena olin#userthing#tvarchive#alexander khasinau#arvin sloane#gerard cuvee#jack bristow#cuvee x irina#irina x jack#irina x khasinau#irina x sloane#myedit#irina wants power to make up for all the countless times she felt powerless.#khasinau is different from others in such way that there's no indication that he held any kind of power over her in the 'present'.#her decision to kill him wasn't based on emotions; wasn't based on a disagreement or because he crossed a line he shouldn't have.#it only had to be done to put sark into power (read: to put her personal pet project who's easier to control into power).#and that decision says more about her relationship with sark than about her relationship with khasinau at the time of his death.#but the potential for khasinau to betray her was always there. at least in irina's mind.#the potential to seize the control he once had over her and her life back. and she made sure that potential died with him.#because the idea of surrendering to the cia with him on the outside -#the idea of putting her life in his hands for the first time in twenty years - wasn't something she could accept. understandable!#still - i can't get over how it's something she could accept with sark.#how khasinau's experience or their shared history of more than 35 years;#how they've clearly reached an understanding in all those years or how she made him the face of her own organization;#none of that mattered in the end. she still couldn't rely on him fully.#and she didn't trust him enough to catch her after her (carefully constructed and planned) fall.#poi's root voice: i knew you boys would catch me! well irina only knew that for certain about sark.
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i'm in my "i want to hold him" phase
#toontown#corporate clash#corporateclash#chip revvington#toontowncorporateclash#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#chainsaw consultant#perry winkles#my art#<- putting that there because edited models#selfship bullshit yet again#perry is WAY too small to properly hold him. can barely even fit eir arms around his shoulders. ey dont care.#i need to talk more in-depth about these two though i just keep posting the sappy stuff#the sappy stuff is good but i need to talk about the whole qpr slowburn eventually!!!!!!#but also. but also. chip as a giant ~9000lb 11ft 7in steel machine needs to be held so gently and told everything's okay and he's safe and-#relieve him at least slightly of the dark cloud hanging over his mind.#let him feel relief told in a heavy sigh expelled from his neck vents.#he's in control and that's what's important.#he'd probably chuckle to himself. how did he get here with a critter of all things?#and yet he still sits there feeling comforted and loved#god i want to hear him chuckle. it'd be such a deep and bassy sound. it'd be adorable.#idk. something something roger and jessica but traumatized that's my favorite summary of these two#🍒#cherry
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why do ppl keep assuming us politicans have so much power in israel exactly. at the end of the day they dont exactly get a say in whats to happen if israel or hamas doesnt want to comply.
#'ceasefire now' except hamas keeps declining a ceasefire bc god forbid they dont have more of their favorite terrorists#bc its not about getting home palestinian civilians its about getting home more ppl who want to make more israelis lives miserable#since a big thing for hamas is specifically hating jewish ppl and wanting to kill them all. which IS clear as day genocidal intent.#also its antithetical to their goals- they dont give af if palestinians die. they encourage it. it makes them look more sympathetic#literally how many times do we gotta point at the video of the leader saying its a good thing like#HOW CAN YOU DENY THIS#with all this in mind- what in the actual fuck are you expecting us politicians to do? what kind of power do you think they have here?#this is a conflict between two countries miles across the sea. its not a conflict between the US and some other country its two other#countries we dont have control over. if hamas wants more palestinians to die so they can get their Very Important Terrorist Friends Back#then what is to be done? if israel cant bring itself to compromise on this because of the very valid fucking fear of releasing *more*#terrorists who want to kill them all- what is to be done? what do you honest to god think kamala or joe can fuckin do?#its like two adults bullying eachother and you're an onlooker- you can try all you want to resolve the conflict but if they cant do it at#all between eachother for valid or not reasons then wtf are you expected to do?#and then all the people around you who've decided you have the power somehow to fix this are yelling at you for not fixing it#when you never had the power over this situation to fuckin begin with!
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I've done it. I've reconciled inconsistent Nihil Lore.
Ok so most of us know and have laughed at the discrepancy between "his father's father's father" and the Dance Macabre video. In the latter, it seemed Young Nihil was just some random (un?)lucky dude that Young Seestor decided should be Papa.
But what if, and hear me out, what if Seestor knew something he didn't that night? What if she knew who he was, but he didn't? And it was only after the party that night that he learned about his father's father's father?
#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#peepaw#seestor#ghost band lore#dance macabre#and you guys i'm not under the influence of anything but caffeine and ghoul thirst rn. and those are permanent states of being anyway#oh oh oh and then bc she KNEW the ministry required the emeritus bloodline for the papacy she orchestrated getting pregnant on purpose ->#so her child could become papa and would also be completely beholden to her and she could hold it over his head and manipulate him??#at least in her mind that's how it would go down (just like holy mary. i mean her). she'd take control of ghe ministry through her child ->#and have a stranglehold on the whole operation saecula saeculorum
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Somehow always manage to forget how painful a flare is until one hits. And then it's like. yeah. An inflamed and swollen large bowel with ruptured ulcers is agonizing.
#idk why i just keep forgetting how debilitating this is#something to do with seven undiagnosed years of being told it's all in my head ig#mind you this is WITH treatment. My medication keeps flares under control#But people think treatment means getting rid of the inflammation instead of keeping low as possible and flares less frequent#'treatment' like waving a magic wand over fucking autoimmune disease#i have no idea how i lived those seven years without it#imagine shitting blood doubled over with pain while believing it's all psychosomatic and youre just in need of cognitive behavioural therapy#obviously i am still a flaming wreckage of a person several years on. who wouldn't be#knee of huss#tw: gore#tw: medical gaslighting#tw: medical trauma#inflammatory bowel disease#ulcerative colitis#chronic illness#spoonie
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