#how to eat bibimbap

[salanaii]

Bibimbap

비빔밥

Rice mixed with vegetables, meat, an egg, and chili pepper paste

Today’s recipe is bibimbap, a super-popular Korean dish you might have heard about already! It’s made of a bowl of rice, sautéed and seasoned vegetables (namul: 나물), a bit of hot pepper paste (gochujang: 고추장), and usually a bit of seasoned raw beef, too (yukhoe: 육회).

Bibim (비빔) translates as “mixed,” and bap (밥) means “cooked rice,” so bibimbap literally means “mixed rice.” Before eating it you’re supposed to mix everything all together.

There are many variations on this dish, from simple to elaborate, and this recipe I’m showing you today is for one you could consider “classic” bibimbap. If you ordered bibimbap in a Korean restaurant, you would probably get something like this dish, with regional variations. I’m also going to show you bibimbap prepared and served in a heated stone or earthenware bowl called dolsot-bibimbap (돌솥비빔밥). “Dolsot” means “stone pot” in Korean, and this version is well-known for the way the bowl makes a layer of crispy, crackling rice on the bottom of the bibimbap.

Even though we mix up bibimbap before we eat it, each ingredient needs to be prepared with care and individuality, bringing out their unique flavors, textures and colors so they come together beautifully in the bowl and deliciously in your mouth. The different ingredients aren’t random, they’re chosen because they balance, harmonize, and offset each other.

This recipe isn’t quick and easy, it takes some time to make. But if you’re really in a rush you can make a great bibimbap with the soybean sprouts, spinach, and carrot (or red bell pepper, or both), and gochujang, toasted sesame oil, and an egg— those items are unskippable!

I’m going to share some more bibimbap recipes on my website in the future, and you’ll see how many different variations there are. This version is a little different than the version in my cookbook, because I make a quick and simple soup with the bean sprouts. When I started my YouTube channel, bibimbap was one of the first recipes I made, because it’s such an essential dish in Korean cuisine. So I’m happy to remake the video now in HD with much better editing and instruction. I’ve been building up to this video by remaking videos for the ingredients, too. I remade yukhoe, and sigeumchi-namul, and my yukagaejang video has a lot of detail about preparing the mountain vegetable fernbrake.

So if you’ve been following my videos, you’re now ready to be a bibimbap master! Ready? Let’s start!

Ingredients (serves 4)

5 cups cooked short-grain rice

12 ounces soy bean sprouts, washed and drained

8 ounces of spinach blanched and washed with the excess water squeezed out by hand

1 large carrot

1 large red bell pepper

1 large zucchini

1 English cucumber

3 to 4 green onions, chopped

½ pound fresh lean cut of beef (fillet mignon, flank steak)

4 ounces fernbrake (gosari), fresh or soaked from ½ ounce dried gosari (details below)

1 ounce dried bellflower roots (doraji), soaked in cold water for 18 to 24 hours.

4 eggs

kosher salt

vegetable oil

toasted sesame oil

toasted sesame seeds

garlic

soy sauce

honey (or sugar)

Korean hot pepper paste (gochujang)

How to prepare dried fernbrake (gosari) for use

If you have presoaked or fresh fernbrake you can use it straight away, but if you have dried fernbrake you’ll need to get it ready to eat. It’s fast if you have a pressure cooker, but if you don’t it will take some time.

With a pressure cooker:

Wash ½ ounce of dried gosari and boil it with 5 cups of water in a pressure cooker for 30 minutes.

Drain and rinse in cold water a couple of times.

Drain. It should make 4 ounces.

In a pot on the stove:

In a large saucepan add ½ ounce of dried gosari to 7 cups of water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and boil for 30 minutes. Cover and let stand until cool, about 2 to 3 hours.

Rinse the fernbrake a couple of times, drain and put in a bowl. Cover with fresh cold water and let soak for at least 8 hours or overnight in a cool place, changing the water 2 or 3 times during the soaking.

Taste the gosari: It should be soft. If it’s tough, boil it again in a fresh pot of water for about 20 minutes and then let it sit, covered, until soft.

Drain. It should make 4 ounces.

Make rice

If you have a usual method for making rice or have a rice cooker, go ahead and make 5 cups of rice like you usually do. But here’s how I do it on a pot on the stove. 2 cups of dried rice makes about 5 cups of cooked rice.

Rinse 2 cups of rice in cold water and scrub the wet rice with your hand. Rinse and drain until the drained water is pretty clear.

Put the rice in a heavy-bottomed pot. Add 2 cups of water, cover, and soak for 30 minutes.

Cook over medium high heat for 7 to 8 minutes until the surface is covered with abundant bubbles that are spluttering noisily and look like they’re about to overflow the pot. Turn the rice over a few times with a spoon and cover the pot again.

Turn the heat to very low and simmer for another 10 minutes until the rice is fully cooked and fluffy. Remove from the heat.

Fluff the rice with a spoon to release excess steam. Let the rice stand, covered, at room temperature to keep it warm.

Prepare and cook the ingredients for bibimbap

I like to get a big platter and then put each vegetable on it as they’re ready. I think it looks really pretty, but you don’t have to do this. When all vegetables are prepared and ready to use, the platter looks pretty delicious!

Soybean sprouts:

Put the soy bean sprouts in a pot and add 4 cups water and 2 or 3 teaspoons salt. Cover and cook for 20 minutes over medium high heat. Take out the sprouts with tongs and put them into a bowl, leaving about ½ cup of sprouts in the pot with the water you used to boil them. This is the soup to serve with bibimbap later.

In a bowl, mix the sprouts by hand with ½ teaspoons salt, 1 teaspoon minced garlic, and 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil. Put them on the large platter.

Spinach:

Cut up the blanched spinach a few times and put it in a bowl. Mix by hand with 1 teaspoon garlic, 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil, ½ teaspoon kosher salt, and 1 teaspoon sesame seeds. Cover and put it next to the soy bean sprouts on the platter.

Other fresh vegetables:

Cut the carrot into matchsticks, put them in a bowl, and mix with a pinch of salt. Let stand for 5 to 10 minutes until sweating.

Cut the red bell pepper into halves, deseed, and slice into strips. Put them in a bowl.

Cut the zucchini into matchsticks and mix with ½ teaspoon kosher salt.

Cut the cucumber into halves lengthwise and slice thinly crosswise. Mix with ¼ teaspoon kosher salt.

Beef:

Cut the beef into matchsticks and put them in a bowl.

Mix with 1 tablespoon minced garlic, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, 1 tablespoon honey, 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil, and 1 teaspoon sesame seeds with a spoon.

Cover and keep in the fridge until ready to use.

Mountain vegetables:

Cut the fernbrake (gosari) a few times into bite size pieces. Set aside.

Put the bellflower roots (doraji) in a large bowl. Add 1 or 2 tablespoons salt. Rub for a minute to wilt slightly and release some of the bitterness. Rinse them in cold water a couple of times and drain. If you find some roots are too thick, split them lengthwise. Set aside.

Let’s cook!

Heat up a pan over medium high heat. Squeeze out excess water from the carrot. Add a few drops of cooking oil to the pan and sauté the carrot for 1 minute. Put it on the platter next to the soy bean sprouts and spinach. Clean the pan with wet paper towel or wash it.

Heat a few drops of cooking oil in the pan and squeeze out the excess water from the cucumber. Sauté with ½ teaspoon minced garlic and a few drops of toasted sesame oil for 30 seconds. Put it on the platter. Clean the pan.

Heat up the pan with a few drops of cooking oil. Add the red bell pepper and sprinkle a pinch of salt over top. Sauté for 30 seconds. Put it on the platter. Clean the pan.

Heat up the pan and squeeze out excess water from the zucchini. Add a few drops of cooking oil and sauté with 1 teaspoon minced garlic, 1 tablespoon chopped green onion, a drop of toasted sesame oil for 1 minute until slightly softened. Put it on the platter. Clean the pan.

Heat up the pan with a few drops of cooking oil. Add the bellflower roots and sauté for 2 to 3 minutes. Lower the heat to medium so as not to brown them. Add 1 teaspoon minced garlic and a drop of toasted sesame oil. Stir for another minute until a little softened. Put it on the platter. Clean the pan.

Heat up the pan. Add a few drops of cooking oil. Stir the gosari for 2 minutes until a little softened. Add ½  teaspoon of minced garlic, 2 teaspoons soy sauce, and 2 teaspoons sugar, and keep stirring for another minute. Put it on the platter.

Serve

Here are a couple of ways to serve: bibimbap in a regular, shallow bowl, and dolsot-bibimbap in a stone or earthenware bowl.

In a regular, shallow bowl

Reheat the soybean sprout soup.

Divide the cooked rice into 4 portions. Each portion will be a little more than 1 cup of rice.

Put the rice in each of 4 bowls and arrange the vegetables and beef on the rice. Top with a raw egg yolk and gochujang. If you prefer your eggs and beef cooked, use a fried egg sunny side up and slightly pan-fry the beef before putting them on the top of rice.

Sprinkle the bibimbap with the sesame seeds and drizzle with sesame oil to taste.

Ladle the soup to a small bowl and sprinkle some chopped green onion over top.

Serve right away with more hot pepper paste on the side, and maybe kimchi too.

Dolsot-bibimbap in a hot earthenware bowl (ttukbaegi) or hot stone bowl (dolsot)

Reheat the soybean sprout soup.

Put a few drops of toasted sesame oil in the bottom of each of 4 earthenware bowls. They should be big enough to hold 4 to 6 cups each.

Divide the rice among the bowls. Arrange the vegetables and beef on the rice. Top each serving with a raw egg yolk and 1 tablespoon gochujang. If you prefer your eggs and beef cooked, use a fried egg sunny side up and slightly pan-fry the beef before putting them on the top of rice.

Set each pot on a burner. Heat over medium high heat until you hear a ticking, crackling sound coming from the rice.

Sprinkle the bibimbap with the sesame seeds, drizzle with sesame oil to taste.

Ladle the soup to a small bowl and sprinkle some chopped green onion over top.

Serve right away with more hot pepper paste on the side and maybe kimchi too.

Eat

Gently but firmly mix everything together in the bowl with your spoon. Try not to crush the more delicate ingredients.

Eat with your spoon.

Posted on Sunday, January 6th, 2008 at 11:14 pm. Last updated on September 18, 2022.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Day 12 - Sensory Play]

Pairing: Soft Dom!Yoongi x sub f.!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, second chance!AU, Gangster!AU

Kinks: romantic love making, morning sex, somnophilia, he wakes her with oral sex, multiple orgasms (f.receiving), hair pulling (m.receiving), biting (m.receiving), finger sucking (f.giving), body worship, sensory deprivation with a sleeping mask, praise kink, good girl kink, sensory play, knife play, wax play, but nothing of it hurts her, use of a vibrator, orgasm control & edging, subby girl tears, lots of begging, he is so gentle and loving with her, penetrative vaginal sex in missionary, hand holding, choking (f.receiving), loving dirty talk, creampie, strength kink, protective!Yoongi, she feels so safe being his sub, loving aftercare, some plot: mentions of past struggles with sex because of bad mental health, mentions of corrupt police work, the character growth we all wanted from Yoongs

Wordcount: 5.4k

a/n: all you had to say was say gangster!yoongi and vanilla sex and I KNEW I had to give you the sequel to TCOFU about their mountain holiday. like! do we all get her now and why she couldn’t leave him? like he is really that man omfg oh lord

Yoongi regrets a lot in his life. Quite frankly, he regrets most of his life. He regrets the choices he made and the consequences they bore. He regrets the people he killed because he couldn’t save them and regrets the people he killed because he was reckless. He regrets the hearts he broke and the dreams he crushed. He was a good person once, someone with ambitions and dreams. He was someone who wanted to change the world for the better and he truly thought that he could. And then reality woke him and turned him from a dreaming boy to a hopeless man. 

Yoongi still remembers the breaking point. The true, actual breaking point. He remembers what lunch he had that day. Bibimbap with sausages because you ran out of beef the day before. Yoongi loved eating it, but soon felt it sit in his stomach heavily. Yoongi remembers what he wore that day. His uniform with his favourite pair of socks, which he couldn’t look at after that day. Yoongi also remembers that he cried on the toilet that day because that day was the moment he felt helpless for the first time. A crime happened in his precinct, but the criminal was never punished because it was his boss. His former captain, who was caught with pornographic images of non-consenting women on his hard drive. It was swiped under the rug because he was friends with a politician in a rather high position, who just so happened to know some vultures which called themselves reporters from the press. The women were never allowed justice and the captain ended up working for another three years. Yoongi woke up that day and then began making decisions which were so right at first before he was blinded by the power they brought him.

He became a cop who lived two lives. By day he tried to serve the law and by night he disobeyed it for the sake of helping those who were forgotten by it. It was honourable at first but then he became greedy and the decisions he began making were regretful.

Yoongi regrets a lot of the things he did. He regrets the choices he made, the choices he didn’t make and most of all, he regrets how he treated the person he loved most.

You.

He regrets most how he treated you. 

He became cold, distant and took your affection for granted.

He regrets it. He really does. You have always been the person most important to him and yet he treated you like shit. When you broke up with him, he expected it but never welcomed it. He knew he needed to change for your sake. For his woman and his love. He never thought that you would take him back, but you did and he swore to himself to make you not regret it. 

Yoongi woke before you from the thunderstorm outside. The thunder ripped him awake, making him think for just a moment that he was in danger until he remembered where he was. In the mountains with you far away from the cursed city with its disgusting people. 

You wanted to leave it behind and he wanted to make it possible. He knew that you were struggling for quite awhile now. He also knows that it was mostly his fault and regrets it so deeply that it hurts, but he also knows that the city was at fault. It is dirty and corrupt and filled with suffering. You always had a good heart and an empathetic soul and this city ruined you. Yoongi thought that he could fix it for you, he hoped that he could, but he sometimes thinks that he only made it worse. You said so yourself. He fucked it up, just as much as he fucked you up. Yoongi truly regrets a lot in his life.

Thunder cuts through the silence. You flinch in your sleep, instinctively drawing closer to him. Yoongi shushes you quietly, brushing his hand over your head in soothing. Your body instantly relaxes, a content sound leaves you in a sleepy sigh. Yoongi feels happy witnessing it.

He thinks that he might have finally done something right with this holiday. Yesterday he watched you take a deep breath and relax your shoulders afterwards. You haven’t done this in so long. The day before that, you ate two portions of lunch because you finally had an appetite again. In the car on your way to the mountains, there was a moment where you talked about how beautiful the landscape was. And right now, you are smiling in your sleep as he pets your hair slowly. You are starting to feel like the woman he fell in love with all these years ago. Not burdened by the suffering of others, not suffocated by the toxic fumes of the city, not shackled by your own thoughts. You feel like you and you look happy. 

You look really happy. 

Yoongi traces your eyebrows, heart taking each beat just so he could gaze at you for longer. You are the very reason he breathes. From the very first moment he loved you, he knew that he would do anything for you. He would set the whole world on fire for you. Even kill and he has done so in the past. The scar running down his face will be a visual reminder of it for the rest of his life. On most days, he hates looking at it because he feels ugly with it, but on some days he remembers that if he wasn’t carrying this scar right now, you would have to run around with the memory of being violated by cruel monsters which call themselves men. He stops hating the scar then and swears that he would do it again. He would take a knife to the face over and over again if it meant that you will always be safe. He took this oath years ago and swears to never break it.

Another thunder cuts through the silence as if God Herself was whipping the sky. You flinch awake from it, taking a deep gasp of fear. Your eyes show your feelings.

“Hush, it’s okay. It’s just thunder”, Yoongi whispers, cradling your cheek.

Your fearful eyes lock with his’. Your voice doesn’t want to come out as your lips form his name.

“It’s okay. You’re safe”, he promises and kisses your forehead.

You exhale deeply, touching his chest. His skin practically comes alive where you touch him. You are so warm from sleep.

You crane your neck so you are looking up into his eyes. Thunder and lightning. You don’t flinch anymore, instead, your lips curl into a toothless smile.

Yoongi retorts it, brushing his thumb under your eye.

“I’ve been awake for a while. The storm woke me. I thought someone was trying to fucking shoot me.”

You agree with a knowing snicker and a nod of your head. He chuckles with you.

“I watched you sleep.” He traces the slope of your nose, forcing your eyelids to grow heavy. “You smiled in your sleep.”

“It’s because I’m happy”, you get out and shiver with your entire body, “Yoongi, I feel comfortable”, you confess, cuddling into his chest.

Yoongi hugs you, kissing the crown of your head and closing his eyes. Comfortable might be a normal state to most people, but you haven’t felt like this in too long. Yoongi cherishes your confession deeply. 

He begins running his fingertips up and down your back. It draws you closer to him and for your happy purr to meet his ears. 

“Do you like this?” he asks you in a barely there whisper.

You nod your head, humming your answer. He answers you in a hum as well, continuing his touches. 

You fall back to sleep like this, cradled in his strong arms and against his safe chest as he pets you slowly. The rain and thunder lull you back to sleep as well, now that you know that nothing can hurt you. You are with him and he will always keep you safe.

You don’t quite know how much time passed, but it must have been enough for the thunderstorm to stop. Only rainfall can be heard now. But that isn’t what wakes you. No. Warm, slick pleasure between your legs does. 

“Ah”, you get out, sleepily arching your back and reaching down to see what is making you feel so good. Your legs close around a head, your fingers meet bundles of soft hair. 

Strong hands touch your inner thighs and push your legs apart again. The warm, slick pleasure stops in a sucking sensation. Lips against your inner thigh, teeth in soft bites as well. Sucks and licks and kisses. 

“Good morning, beautiful”, Yoongi rasps between his kisses, “don’t let me wake you, just relax”, he breathes and connects his eager mouth with your pussy again. He sucks and licks, moaning softly each time your clit is between his pouty lips.

It feels so good that you can’t help but whimper. He is so warm and soft. Judging from how wet you are, he has been doing this for quite a while. That explains why your dreams started to become so sinful.

You are delirious from sleep, both numb and sensitive, so what he is currently doing is a lot. You can’t talk yet because you are too tired, making a small sound and twisting his hair. You do it so weakly that Yoongi barely feels it. 

He smiles and tongue kisses your clit with his eyes closed in bliss. You are especially precious when you are sleepy. You get so weak and quiet despite trying to be so strong and loud. Yoongi swears he would do unspeakable things to anyone who dared to disturb you in this state. His protectiveness almost makes him feral. 

But he doesn’t let the feralness consume him. No. He runs his big, strong hands to your waist and places a protective touch on the softest part. Your skin dimples where his fingertips lie. Yoongi knows the meaning of to have and to hold when he can hold you like this, when he can have you like this. 

Your weak body writhes helplessly, your throat produces a small sound. Yoongi soothes you by rubbing your waist and purring around your clit. 

“Oh my god”, you get out in a breathy whisper and whimper, legs closing around his head in a quick twitch and body convulsing in the sudden high his purrs drag out of you.

Yoongi moans, wrapping his muscular arms around your tensing legs and moving his hot tongue on your clit eagerly. Your noises are heaven to him. So sweet, so cute, so perfect. He loves nothing more than making you feel good.

You sob softly, overwhelmed by what he makes you feel. You aren’t even properly awake yet to take in the sensations and now he has you orgasming. It feels like too much and yet so good.

He expected you to orgasm quickly, but not that quickly. He is delirious, rutting the sheets with his aching cock as his tongue makes sweet love to your pussy. This is heaven to him. True heaven. 

“Sto…stop”, you breathe out after your high turns into overstimulation. “Plea..stop…” 

Yoongi listens to your begs, kissing a path up your naked body. It wasn’t always naked but he undressed you so he could gaze at you and worship every inch of you. He missed you a lot in the three months you and he were separated. He needs to truly appreciate every second with you and memorise it so it will always stay with him.

He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, kissing your tender skin slowly. Like this, his hard cock rubs against your thigh. He is naked as well because he wanted to share the state with you. Perhaps there is even a chance that he spent a good ten minutes holding you as you slumbered so his skin could finally feel you again. 

You sigh and chase him. Yoongi understands, giving you what you crave so deeply. A kiss. A slow, deliberate tongue kiss where each second counts and each movement is filled with emotion.

You shiver, burying your hands deep in his soft hair and making him shiver with it. You and he draw closer, skins touching and lips moving with so much more passion. This is the first time you and he have sex here. 

Yoongi has been wanting, craving, you ever since this holiday started, but he knew not to pressure you. You seemed drained and in need of healing. He wanted to give you time to do so. He held back, but he can’t hold back anymore. 

The way you kiss him, lets him know that you don’t want to hold back either. You bury your fingers deeper in his dark hair, making him purr contently. 

Yoongi has the thickest and healthiest hair ever. It is dark black, except for when the sunlight hits it and turns it a warm dark chocolate brown. He wears it slicked back on most days because he wants to look his best as police captain. When he is with you like this however, tangled in the sheets with your bodies still warm from sleep, his hair is unstyled. It is messy and it is soft from the lack of product. It hangs into his face or gets ruffled when you play with it just right. You could honestly write songs about his morning hair.

You break the kiss to look at him in his pretty state. You open your eyes. Darkness. A nervous sound leaves you, fingers coming up to touch your eyes. Soft fabric. How peculiar.

“Don’t be scared. It’s just an eye mask. To heighten your senses”, Yoongi assures you, tracing it gently and with it, ridding you of your fear. “Do you want me to take it off?” 

“No.”

You drop your hands again, sighing his name. He kisses your neck, talking to you like this. He rests his hands on your wrists, long fingers stretching along your palms. There is no pressure involved, neither strength, and yet you still feel so claimed. In a good way of course.

“I want more of you”, he purrs, running his thumbs up and down your tender wrists. 

You whimper and squirm, legs opening.

“But don’t worry, I know you’re not ready yet. Let’s play a game.”

“A game?" you talk in the kind of voice you only possess when you are in subspace. It is soft and a little higher in pitch and brings out Yoongi’s desire to protect. 

“Yes a fun game. You’ll like it.” 

“Please.”

Yoongi begins kissing your face as he talks. It feels so good to receive. Everything he does and did to you feels so good. This is what you needed from him for months. 

“Okay so, next to us are five things. My necklace, my knife, a candle, your makeup brush and a leaf. You have to guess with which of the things I’m touching you. How does that sound?” 

“Fun. Really fun.”

“Yes?”

You nod your head, putting your hands above your head in a submissive squirm. Yoongi smiles, heart skipping a beat in giddiness. He would do anything for you. He really would.

“I knew that you would like it. Any of the things you don’t want me to touch you with? I guess most are soft, except the knife and wax. I won’t cut you and the wax will be hot, but not painful. Is it okay for you?” 

“Yes, really okay.” you writhe and sigh, parting your legs for nothing in particular. 

“Good, that’s good. You can stop this anytime you need to. Your voice matters, sweetest. Your safety does as well.”

You whimper in emotion, healing from deep wounds. This is exactly what you needed from Yoongi. This kind of care and love and safety. You were so scared that giving him another chance will end in your heartbreak, but instead he is proving to you how honest he was in his promises to change. 

“You’re important to me”, he kisses your cheek, “you’re so fucking important.”

“Yoongi”, your voice trembles as it leaves you. 

“Mhm, my sweet girl.” He kisses your ear softly and straightens up. He rubs his hands up and down your stomach gently. “Ready for the first item?” 

“Yes.” 

“Don’t be scared to guess wrong. There won’t be punishments, just rewards.”

“Rewards?” 

“Mhm, guess correctly and you’ll find out.”

“Okay”, you sigh. 

Yoongi climbs off your lap. You listen with bated breath. The sheets ruffle as he gets comfortable. Then sudden silence which he breaks in a soft rasp.

“Ready?” 

You nod your head.

“Use your voice, sweetest.”

“Yes, I’m ready”, you whisper cutely, sending his heart into overdrive. 

With a racing pulse, he lowers the brush to your collarbone.

“Oh”, you gasp with the first touch, chasing it. 

Yoongi lets your skin soak up the feelings, guiding the brush up to your shoulder and down your arm. He dances it over your chest, circling your nipples. Then he guides it up your other arm, over your shoulder and back to your collarbone. 

“What’s the first item?” he asks you in soft spoken voice, guiding the brush back to your nipples to circle them. He is obsessed with the way your body reacts. Goosebumps and swollen nipples. You are so beautiful with the most perfect reactions. 

“Feels nice.”

“Of course it does, but what is it?” he is chuckling his words, finding you beyond adorable.

“Uhm..”, you shudder as he tickles your neck with it, “brush?”

“Mhhm good girl”, Yoongi praises, placing the brush aside to get your reward. He turns it on.

You instantly move your head into the direction of the sound, gasping his name.

“Can you guess your reward?” Yoongi asks, guiding the vibrator down the inside of your thigh. 

You moan weakly, writhing on the sheets. You nod your head because you can’t talk. The vibrations feel so good and they’re coming close to where they feel otherworldly. You are so excited. 

“Do you want it?” 

“Please.” 

Yoongi takes your consent and connects the vibrator with your clit, rubbing circles on it. You wail up weakly, hands instantly reaching down to grab his wrist. Your legs close around him, but fall open a moment later, toes curling in the sheets.

“Is this nice for you?” he asks you, eyes flitting between your pussy and your face. They linger on your chest as well, soaking up the view of you writhing in pleasure.

“Nice”, you whimper, rolling your hips up into his touch.

“That’s good”, he says and then falls into comfortable silence with you. 

Not that the moment is truly silent. The pitter patter of rain enters the room. The low purr of the vibrator mixes with your quiet moans and breathy sighs. Yoongi’s own heightened breathing matches you. But there is no traffic, no loud neighbors, no emergency sirens or people cursing on the streets below. There is no city. No burden. Just you and him and nature. 

Yoongi knows from how quickly he brings you to the edge that you are truly enjoying the sex you are having. When he fucked in the past, trapped with you in his penthouse or your small apartment, you often struggled to reach climax. Sometimes you didn’t orgasm at all, no matter what Yoongi tried. And be certain that he tried. Your pleasure has always been important to him. He tried, you tried but the city had an awful grip on you, keeping you tense and nervous and too anxious to truly be in the moment. 

But not anymore. You gasp and tense in the way you always do when you are close. It happens so fast that Yoongi feels high. You are so into this, so relaxed. He is doing this to you. He is making you feel good. Yoongi wants to give you an orgasm, but knows not to rush it. If you climax, you should really enjoy it. You should crave it so violently that you have nothing else on your mind.

He takes away the vibrator, soothing your squirms with gentle touches.

“I was close”, you whine.

“I know sweets, I know”, he kisses your neck, “it’ll be worth it. I promise.”

“Oh god.”

He kisses your cheek and sits up, “next item. Guess whenever you are ready.” 

You wait with bated breath and an aching pussy. You really wanted this orgasm. Sheets ruffles, silence. The sensation. 

“Oh god”, you get out, arching your back to chase it. 

Something metal and tangly. It is cold and light. He guides it down your sternum and stomach, letting it tickle your belly button before he guides it up to your neck. 

“Chains…” you moan, writhing from the memories of feeling them hit your skin whenever he fucked you deep. 

“Good girl”, Yoongi praises, rewarding you by tangling them over your face. He makes sure that they hit your skin in the ways they sometimes do when he is buried inside you. 

You chase it, moaning his name.

“You’re thinking the same, right?” 

“Yes. Yoongi…”

“I fucking love being with you, my sweet girl”, he says, tickling your face one last time before he gives you your true reward. 

The vibrator. He keeps the same setting and the same spot, but rubs your stomach the entire time. Your moans are louder than before, your pussy so much wetter and your hips a lot more restless. 

It also takes you way less time for your orgasm to be close. Yoongi really draws out the moment he takes it away from you, keeping you on the edge until the last second.

“No please”, you beg, bucking your hips against nothing, “please.” 

“Patience, sweetie, patience. You still have three more items to go.”

“Please.” 

“Patience”, he whispers and lifts the third item, “time to guess. Focus on the sensations, not your pussy. Do it for me, sweetest.”

“Yoongi, oh god”, you whimper, almost spilling tears. 

“Take a deep breath for me.” 

You obey only to have it knocked out of you when sudden burning warmth hits the skin of your chest. You sob, arching your back and twisting the pillow edge. 

“Wax, aah”, you mewl, feeling dizzy. It is hot, but it’s not painful. Exactly how he promised. You still weren’t ready for how good it will feel. 

He starts at your sternum, leaving a puddle of it on your skin. Next he covers your breasts with it, your soft flesh first and your nipples last. You sob again when he covers them in the hot wax, pleasure soaking so deep into your fibers that you find it hard to breathe. 

“Good girl, correct again. Is it too hot?”

“No, feels so good. Yoongi please fuck me, please.”

“Patience, sweetie. First you need your reward.”

“Please…”

As the wax hardens on your chest, Yoongi presses the vibrator against your clit again, rubbing it up and down for a change. You mewl his name, digging your heels into the sheets and thrusting against the toy. Judging by how much your voice pitches, you are already close. 

Yoongi takes it away, pinning your hips down easily as they try to squirm.

“Please no more edging, please”, you beg in desperate croaks.

“Sorry sweetest, sorry”, he rasps, kissing your neck and jawline. “It’s soon over. I promise.”

“Yoongi please just fuck me, please.”

“Soon, sweet girl, soon. Two more items. I promise.” 

You mewl, squirming in agony. Yoongi sits up and gets the fourth item. He decides to guide it over your stomach and thighs. You instantly open them wider, skin covered in goosebumps.

“Your knife. Feels so good.”

“Good girl. Mhm your skin is so soft. I could cut it, mark it as mine, but I won’t”, he lulls, tracing the inside of your shaky thighs.

“Please do. I’m yours.”

“Another day. promise”, he says and picks up the vibrator. He puts the knife aside, using his unoccupied hand to pin down your squirming hips. 

He managed to edge you to a point of such sensitivity that he only has to keep the toy on you for a few seconds before your body tenses in your approaching high.

He takes it away, shushing you lovingly when you keen in agony. He lies down next to you, cradling you against his chest and kissing your cheek. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I can’t do it anymore please”, you beg, “please I want to be with you, please.” 

“One more item, I pro-”

“No! Please. I want to be with you, please.”

Yoongi sighs in defeat.

“Okay. You can”, he gives in.

“Please I wanna see you, please Yoongi.”

“Okay, sweet girl”, he whispers, pulling the blindfold off your eyes. When you beg like this, he can’t say no. He has to fulfill your every wish.

You instantly look at him, spilling tears because of how happy the view of him makes you. 

He wipes your tears away, speaking to you in a soft voice.

“Why are you crying, my love? Is it getting too much for you? Should we take a break?” 

You shake your head and open your legs.

“Please. Be with me.” 

Yoongi smiles in order not to tear up. He hums a yes, nodding his head vigorously before dropping it against yours. His right hand cradles your cheek safely.

“I’ll always be with you, my love.” 

“Promise me.”

“I promise you”, he says and climbs between your legs.

You roll to your back, following him this way. He takes your hands and pins them in the pillow above your head, holding them tightly. 

“I'll always be with you.You have me”, he says and seals his promise by finally connecting with you. 

You and he moan together, hands squeezing the other’s and eyelids fluttering. Both of you refuse to close your eyes, wanting to see the other. 

“You have all of me, my sweetest girl”, he says and picks up a deep and gentle pace. “All of me, you’ve got all of me.”

“Yoongi”, you whimper, body shaking instantly. You spill tears, sobbing softly.

“Does it hurt? Are you getting tight again like you sometimes do?” 

“No, feels so good”, you sigh and place his right hand on your throat. 

Yoongi moans your name, hips stuttering in shock. 

“Please”, you beg and Yoongi knows what to do.

He applies pressure on your veins, watching the last piece of sanity disappear from your pretty eyes. You roll them back and moan. You moan in ways you haven’t moaned in too long. Quite frankly, Yoongi already forgot that he could help you make such noises. 

“You know I don’t believe in god, not with the kinda suffering the motherfucker allows to happen to innocents, but holy fucking god”, he gets out and picks up speed. Not too much. Just enough to make your back arch and your toes curl. 

He drops his forehead against yours, resting on his one elbow. His fingers are still holding your neck, feeling your pulse race uncontrollably.

“Holy fucking god, baby. Fucking god.”

You reach up with your free hand, twisting his hair. It feels so good. All of it feels so good. You don’t know what is happening to you. Sex hasn’t felt like this in so long. Can it really feel that good? Can you really be so without burdening thoughts?

“Don’t stop please.”

“Mhhm never. Gotta make you feel so fucking good.”

“Good. Yoongi. Ah!”

“Fuck I was such an idiot, fuck I forgot how alive I feel when I dedicate my all to you.” He thrusts into you deep and passionately. “I’m on a high, my sweet girl. You feel so good”, Yoongi gets out, letting you taste each word.

“Yoongi please.”

“Too much?”

“Please can I cum? Please.” 

“Fuck”, he curses and growls, kissing your nose softly afterwards. “Do you need more?” 

“No, just please. Soon.”

“Whenever you’re ready, sweetest. I’m right here. Your Yoongi’s right here. I’m not fucking leaving you again. I’m here.”

“I love you”, you sob and break. He didn’t even get to let go of your neck before you fell victim to your high. You simply feel way too good. There was no other way.

“I love you too. Ah, I’m-”, Yoongi’s voice breaks and turns into desperate whimpers as your intense high throws him over the edge as well. 

He makes sure to keep moving, so you could really enjoy yourself. And oh how you do. 

You are so lost in your pleasure that you pull him close enough that you manage to bite down on his shoulder. 

Yoongi mewls in pain, guiding your mouth away gently with the hand he once had around your throat. You instantly take his fingers inside your mouth, sucking them eagerly as you and he ride the waves of your shared highs. 

Once you and he come down, his fingers are messy from your drool and you seem so deeply satisfied that you can’t help but cry. 

Yoongi instantly cradles your face, kissing your tears away. 

“What’s the matter? Too tight?”

“No, I feel safe. Yoongi, I feel safe.”

“Oh.” 

You haven’t felt safe in so long. He knows that you don’t mean physically safe, but emotionally safe. 

He smiles and rolls to his side, taking you with him in his arms. He lets you cuddle into him and use his chest to get through your tears. 

Yoongi knows that you need this cry. He put you through so much and you went through twice as much on your own. Knowing that you can finally cry about it, is healing to him as well. 

Once you calmed down, you feel sleepy and cold. Yoongi cocoons you and him in the blanket, allowing you to rest your head on his arm while he traces your face. His head rests on a pillow which he folded up half to make it sturdier. You are looking up at him. He smells like him. Good, clean, masculine, familiar. He smells so calmingly familiar. 

“What are you thinking?” he whispers, tracing your brows and nose.

“Just that I’m happy.”

“You are?” 

“Very. I haven’t felt like this in ages.”

“I know. I…” he struggles with his words, gnawing on his lower lip.

You reach up and begin tracing his scar. He instantly knows that he is allowed to talk freely.

“I know you’ve been struggling with enjoying sex. I could beat myself because I know it’s partially my fault.”

You shake your head, “it was never your fault. You tried to make it good for me. I could see that you did. It was the only time I felt like you actually tried for me.”

He furrows his brows, “I’ve done so much wrong in my life and most I’ve done to you. I’m so sorry, my sweet girl.”

“Thank you. I know that you’ll be different from now on. That Us will be different again.”

“I will. We will. I fucking promise you. And I-”

“And you never break a promise. I know”, you interrupt him in a soft whisper.

Yoongi’s smiles, nodding his head. You giggle because it feels good to know him so well and be known in return.

“I felt so good today.”

“That’s good. That’s all I want when I’m with you like this.”

He brushes his thumb over your eyelid gently. You close your eyes with a smile, enjoying his tender touch for a moment.

Once it passes, you look up at him again.

“I’m scared of going back.”

“To the city?”

“Yes. I’m scared.”

“Don’t be. I’ll take care of it. I promise I’ll make your life happy again.”

“What do you mean?”

“You won’t have to return to the city if you don’t want to. I meant it when I said that I’ll fucking set it on fire if you want me to.”

“What about your job? The things you keep hidden from the law?” 

“I’ll take care of it. You won’t get hurt, I promise.” 

You cup his cheek, eliciting a shaky gasp from him. Your eyes widen as you stare deeply into his eyes.

“I’ll kill whoever needs to be gone. Just tell me.”

“Oh sweetest”, he kisses your forehead before cradling you against his chest, “don’t make such promises. I don’t want you to have to get your hands bloody.”

“But-”

“No buts. I’ll get my hands dirty, so you won’t have to. Now enough about the future, right now I wanna hold my woman and let her know I’m entirely here for her.”

“Good. I’m glad you are”, you say and melt into his strong embrace.

[osamucide]

⊹ FOR SURE

RELATIVELY STABLE AND TENTATIVELY ABLE TO SAY FOR CERTAIN WHETHER THIS UNCERTAINTY IS FOR SURE . . . ft. Osamu Dazai

wc: 2k

cw: sad and probably ooc dazai but he’s my husband so i actually know how he falls apart, pretty straightforward references to anxiety+dissociation, references to self harm+suicidal ideation but nothing graphic, angst+hurt/comfort, dazai cries and then you feed him that's all

reid: a little spur of the moment something i started when i wasn’t feeling so hot a bit ago. ethel cain’s cover of this song has altered the course of my life anyway enjoy me projecting

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

He was quiet when he got home, which is uncharacteristic, unless he’s scheming. But there was no glint in his eyes and no menace behind his grin, only exhaustion. What’s more is there was no downcast expression, no particularly sluggish movement to suggest he was upset; granted, he would regularly go on performing his usual persona even if he was upset. He was always all moving puzzle pieces, all thick mask and mystery.

It’s a good thing you’ve learned to read him so plainly.

You owe it to the little shared space you’re in, wrapped in a blanket on the couch, reading a book of his as he shakes his coat off and tosses it across the small dining table with two chairs side-by-side at it instead of across from one another. Dazai usually hangs his coat up on the rack by the door, slips his shoes off mindlessly and comes to flop his entire body weight on top of you, but tonight he pulls his laces undone and leaves his shoes tucked neatly against the wall, walks by the back of the couch to press a ghostly kiss to the crown of your head, and heads straight to the bathroom, which he locks himself in.

You swallow as you hear the shower start. You had specifically picked out an apartment with a standing shower, no tub, when you moved in with him. You’d emptied it of razors a handful of times and you probably would a handful of times more, and you kept all of both of your medication in your bedside table. Still, you can no longer quite focus on the words in front of you.

So, you flick the television on. A little more noise in your brain helps tune out the shower that’s just that—a shower. He showers, most often, because he’s feeling strange and not because he needs to feel clean. Maybe he needs to feel clean, but not in a way that a shower will allow. He does it anyway. You wait.

When the water turns off and he doesn’t immediately bounce out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, singsonging which leftovers you should heat up for him, you turn the TV volume down a few notches. When it’s been five minutes or so, you find yourself in the kitchen putting day-old bibimbap in the microwave. When it’s been ten, you’re knocking on the door.

"Osamu?" Your voice is soft as your knock. "I waited for you to eat." Dirty trick, you know. But you also know he won’t otherwise; not on a night like this.

You hear a bit of shuffling before the bathroom door creaks open. His eyes are red, his nose flushed, and he’s rubbing his face with the corner of his towel like he’s just awoken from a nap. He’s got no bandages on. He nearly whispers, "You didn’t have to."

"Wanted to." You work the towel from his hands as he turns the light off. He’ll hide behind the darkness if nothing else, but it’s alright; you’ll let him. You pat water from his shoulders before you sling the towel around him like a cape. You whisper back, "I’ll get you clothes. Please get silverware, yes?"

You don’t give him much of a choice, but he’s in a state where he’s pliant enough to listen to corporeal orders. Getting silverware will be a marginally easier task than dressing for him right now.

After pulling a sweatshirt and pair of pajama pants out of your drawers—they’re his, or maybe yours, doesn’t really matter; what does matter is they cover as much skin as possible—you return to him on the couch, two bowls of cooling bibimbap with chopsticks stuck in them on coffee table. He’s got as much of his bare body under the towel as it will allow.

When you set next to him and peel the towel back he looks nearly catatonic. It spurs tears to your lash line, but you hold back. "Arms, please."

He shoves himself into the hoodie, tousling his wet mop of hair in the process, and takes the pants from you, which he stands robotically to step into. When he sits you wrap five fingers across the top of his flannel-clad thigh and press a short kiss to his cheek.

As if sparked by your touch, he curls himself into you.

You’re quick to receive him; you unlock his hands from where they latch behind your neck, gently, like everything else, and you lean back, back, until your head is hitting the pillow you were lounged up against earlier. His fingers scramble for somewhere to land; you will his weight down onto you, his shoulder and hip to tuck beside yours on the inside of the couch, his free arm and leg to sling across your body and his sweet face in the side of your neck. The water from his hair soaks through your shirt. You don’t care. You feel his breath; your fingertips trace circles along his spine, and your outside hand comes to tangle up with his. Eating will have to wait.

You don’t waste time asking if he wants to talk. If he did, he would’ve started by now.

So you focus on his breathing, and how lucky you are to have it ghosting along your collarbone. He’s gray, then white, then gray, then blue in the light of the TV as his thumb moves across the back of your hand, stiff, like it’s just been freed from paralysis.

You wait for his breath to shake; you know it will.

And he knows you know, because he squeezes your hand in a pulsing rhythm like a heartbeat. He hates this. He hates that you've seen him crumble so many times that you know exactly what he needs.

You say it so softly, again, almost a whisper: "I've got you, my love."

He doesn't want you to say it's okay or let it out or talk to me; this is another thing you know very well. He feels like he's floating away from what little sense of self he has to begin with and it's not okay, and he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want to be told when to cry or not, but he does need reminded that you're here, and you're real, and so is he, and so is this thing that both have; you'll grab his ankles and pull him down out of the air. You always do. You always do.

So he cries anyway.

It's like hearing a foreign language leave his mouth. There's something so assured about Dazai even while he believes he's all smoke and mirrors and seeing—hearing—his voice jump between heaving breaths and cracking sobs has always jarred you in some way. Moreover, now that you're so attuned to the way he breaks, it fills you with a tired anger that you can't place on anything concrete. It's a frustration you're glad to shoulder with him, but a frustration no less. You would set fire to everything you could touch, strangle it all to death with your bare hands, if it guaranteed his peace. But you know he wouldn't want that, not anymore; you quell the rage inside you between strands of his hair, fingerpads combing over his scalp with all that anger channeled into love, pure love. For as terrible and rotten as he's convinced he is, he's truly turned you into something softer than you thought yourself capable of being.

You feel his heart racing double-time against yours; you briefly wish you had no chest, no ribs, no physical form to separate you from him, so that your heart could cradle his, give over to his troubled body the time of the breath yours breathes.

He's all jagged edges right now and you're holding him like he's made of cotton. It makes him worse, momentarily, and he tears his hand away from yours; he knows wrapping around you like this, like a boa constrictor around its prey, will make his arms lose feeling but he does it anyway, like he's worried you'll go up in a cloud of dust if he doesn't hold onto you tight enough. He knows it's probably uncomfortable for you, too, laying back on his knotted fingers while he shoves every piece of himself as close as he can get to you, but you don't say anything, don't even make a sound when he hyperventilates into your shoulder and pushes out pathetic whimpers between his stuttering. He knows his face is twisted into that expression he long ago deemed too ugly to look at in the mirror. He gasps like he's underwater, and you just press your cheek to his temple while you lose track of if the wetness on your shoulder is from his hair or his eyes. It doesn't matter. You love him so fucking much.

He weeps against you with his constraint surrendered, loud but muffled by your shirt, at least until whatever movie was on is over. When he finally lifts his head, your eyes flutter open. You hadn't realized you closed them.

You tilt to look at him; the seam of your shirt collar is imprinted into his cheek. His bangs have dried wildly; you push them away from his eyes which are raw with sorrow, and Dazai's hands unclasp from behind you, settling back to how they first were with one curled up into the couch and the other interlaced with yours. He's devastatingly beautiful. You can't help the ghost of the sad smile you wear; it's because he's so gorgeous, and also you want to let him know you're content to be here—not content with what's upset him, not at all, but content to pick him up and help him haul himself forward. He does not reflect the smile back to you. You don't blame him.

"Let's eat." You leave the please unspoken, but it hangs there anyway.

"It's cold," he complains, still distant, but with a glimmer of a pout you think may be him. He's not getting out of it, though.

You sit him up, keep him close to your side and pick up a bowl; it's indeed cold, but you take a bite anyway, as if to show him it's not so bad. When you hold sliced carrot and broccoli to his lips, he looks at you like you're trying to feed him dirt, but opens his mouth anyway.

And it may as well be medicine going down. Not that he particularly cares for reheated and recooled leftover bibimbap, but your fingers being at the other end of the chopsticks makes it appealing. More than appealing. Delightful, even. He never really understood how things like food, music, or art could be healing until he met you and you doodles silly pictures of him on slow Sunday mornings, sang old love songs to him while you shooed him away from the stove as you cooked dinner, fed him leftovers in your shared home, on your shared couch, surrounded by all the things that were both yours and his, sweatshirts, books, blankets, chopsticks alike.

And he tells you that in his own way.

"Heat it up again for me? Please?"

He speaks the plea this time, and you grin—not sad this time, but wholly, as he relights slowly in front of you. And as already established, you'd do anything for him.

"Mhm."

"I love you," he blurts. Tags it on. You stand, gathering both bowls, still grinning.

"I love you." No question about any of it. You press a kiss to the crown of his head. He unfurls the blanket from where you'd slung it over the back of the couch earlier, picking up the remote to flick through the channels, finally breathing steadily as he waits for you to return from the kitchen. Your kitchen, his kitchen. He hears the microwave hum, in another room, not on another planet. He knows he'll be alright.

[jilixthinker]

sweet taster

=͟͟͞♡ minho × fem!reader

word count: 1.6K

content warning: smut, established relationship, sub!minho, cock play, kinda chubby (but not really) minho, a little bit of feederism if you squint, it's all very loving and sweet

a/c: i feel things about minho's imaginary soft tummy, that's it.

=͟͟͞♡ please, consider reblogging if you like my works!

"That was definitively too much."

Your home smells like savory and sweet, the nice scent lingering in your living room like a warm blanket, and Minho groans in delight as he plops on the couch with his eyes closed, stress from the work beginning to melt away. He loves when he comes home to the smell of one of your cooking, it makes him feel spoiled and pampered.

The portion of bibimbap was more than generous, but what truly tested his stomach capacity were the three big slices of apple pie he gobbled down while you watched him with adoring eyes, fingers softly caressing his plush tighs.

Minho has a sweet tooth and you love cooking and baking for him, that is always been your love language. In addition to that, in the last year of your relationship you started to experiment in the kitchen with lots of different baking recipies, and your loving boyfriend has been your official taster since that.

You cook, he eats, and you look fondly at him while he savors your baked goods, making a series of cute tiny sounds of pleasure that leaves you cooing and pinching at his soft cheeks. That is how you would describe happiness.

"Are you full?" you ask, sitting next to him and immediately nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck.

Minho smiles and his arm circles your shoulder, bringing you closer to him. You nose at his sweater and he smells like candy, smells sweet and intrinsecally like home and Minho. “So full,” he chuckles, placing a wet kiss on the top of your head.

"I guess you don't have space for one last treat then..." you smile against his skin as your hand drops to his belly. It feels tensed and a little swollen because of all the food he ate, and you start to massage it slowly.

"Treat?" Minho's eyes get all round and you hear him sniffing at the air in search of a distinct odor that will make him understand what are you referring to.

"I tried baking some cream eclairs." you smile at him, pinching the soft pudge below his belly button between your thumb and pointer. It's so soft that you wanna eat him whole.

"Well, I guess I can make some space, then".

You sit up again just in time to catch a glimpse of Minho's tongue lapping at the corner of his mouth, pre-savoring the dessert, and you feel a familar warmth spreading through your body. He is just too cute, too precious, too sweet to be yours.

"Let me get it for you. Wanna feed you." You smile as you stand up and head to the kitchen, the platter of creamy sweets ready in the oven.

When you come back, Minho is waiting for you with big pleading eyes, eager to taste the product of your baking. You place the plate on a cushion next to him, but instead of sitting down on the couch, you find your place on his lap, straddling his soft yet muscular thighs.

"Open wide." you say, taking one eclair in your hand and bringing it to Minho's mouth. You tap him under his chin and his mouth falls open easily.

Keeping eye contact, Minho leans forward to take a big bite, chewing slowly to let the flavor really envelop his senses. The lemon cream is sweet and warm, and it melts in his mouth.

You stare at him, pushing the eclair back to his lips when Minho is done chewing, inviting him to take another bite. With a loud gulp, Minho opens up again, and his tongue swirls against your thumb.

"How does it taste?" you ask while you brush a few crumbs from his lips.

Minho swallows the last bit of the eclair and the tip of his tongue laps at his plump lips once again. "Tastes amazing." he puffs out, his breath smells exactly like the cream.

"Want another?" you ask, taking the second one on your hand without even waiting for his answer.

"I am very full, baby." he mumbles, arm falling down to rest on the top of his stretched tummy. "I don't know if I can fit another one. But they taste like heaven."

"Just one more." you murmur as you leave a small peck on the corner of Minho's mouth, licking a bit of sugar away. "You look so cute when you eat. Please, just one more."

Minho sighs, his tummy is stretched and slighly uncomfortable, but saliva begins to pool inside his mouth as a pavlovian response to the thought of the sweet taste. "Just one more." he conceeds.

You hum and bring the pastry in front of his mouth. Minho diligently parts his lips once again and accepts the eclair. Crumbs are all over his shirt and pants, and there are cream smudges all around his pretty red mouth, even stuck between his teeth.

"So gorgeous for me." you whisper as your hips buck involuntarily against Minho's groin. And then you notice that you are not the only one enjoying this.

"You're hard, uh?" you ask with a chuckle, lowering your hand to cup him through his sweats and squeezing him lightly. Minho hisses and you rub his protruding stomach, feeling the soft skin under the fabric.

Minho finishes swallowing and breathes a sigh of relief as he hears you lowering the band of his sweats. “Yeah. It was sweet,” he huffs. "You are sweet. Got me all hard."

You take the opportunity to remove his pants completely to gain easy access to fondle him through his briefs in the process. Minho's breath is is soft and tender, and he smells amazing, all sugary and pretty for you.

"Wanna touch you. Can I, baby?" you ask, finding a comfortable position on the floor, between his parted legs.

The room is warm, but Minho's legs are tensed and his thin hair are fluffy. You caress them and massage the muscles underneath, and you see his fattened cock twitching against his groin. You see a few pearls of precum glistening on the chubby tip, and you wonder if his release would taste like cream if you fed him enough sweets. The thought is enough to rub your legs together, your panties are already sticking to your folds. But this is for Minho, you think.

"You can do anything you want to me." he murmurs, eyes almost closing and head resting on the cushions behind him.

You smile and you scoot forward to wrap one hand around his cock, squeezing it. His swollen cock immediately chubs up even more and wets the fabric of the sweatshirt. The cockhead looks all sensitive, and you tentatively circle the palm of your other hand around it, coaxing a sweet moan out of Minho's lips.

"My sweet, sweet boy." you coo, starting a lazy rhythm of stroking and circling, stopping just to stimulate his spongy head every once in a while. "You are so sweet that I wanna eat you up."

Minho's chuckles breathily and lets out a soft sob as his thighs begin to shake.

"Am I your dessert?" he asks, looking down at you with big eyes and still a few crumbs of eclair on the corner of his mouth. He mindlessly licks them off.

"You so are, pretty. You are my candy, my cake, my chocolate milk." you answer, sliding your thumb against his slit and making him whine slowly. "And I really need to eat you. I am serious."

You lower your head past his leaky cock to brush your cheek against the soft pudge under Minho's belly button. And then you bite him.

The tender flesh is warm and squishy, and the taste of Minho's skin, together with the cream scent still lingering in the air makes you moan against him.

"F-fuck, baby." he mutters, and you feel his cock throbbing in your fist.

With the tip of your tongue you lick at the velvety scar across his lower stomach and then you twirl it inside of his belly button, mimicking the way he usually fucks himself into you. He whines at the movement and his body twitches again.

"Love you." you whisper, keeping your grip steady on him. "Love how soft you get for me. How sweet. Love when you eat well and you look like this. You are so delicious, Mimo."

You keep biting softly at the fluffy fat of his pudge, savoring its taste and jerking him slowly, letting the schlick sound of his wet cock resonate through the room. Minho is pliant under your touch and his eyes are glassy.

"Uhm – I am. I-I am cumming, baby. Sorry." he moans when your finger dips a little into his slit.

"Don't be sorry, honey. You wanna cum?" you ask with a loving tone while your hand slides smoothly on his aching muscle. "Wanna cream on me like the sweet pastry you are? You can, pretty baby. Let it all go for me."

And Minho obeys, as he always does. With one last pump he begins to shoot thick ropes of creamy cum all over your hand and his round belly, covering his pale skin with glossy spurts that accumulate on the curve just above his ribcage.

When he is done, you lap at some of his release and it actually tastes sweet. It could be your imagination or just the fact that you are aroused, but you swear you can taste some of the cream on his orgasm.

"Wow." he puffs, hand covering his eyes in a shy attempt to hide himself. "That was... something."

You chuckle and kiss his tummy one last time before looking up to his face. "Then you will not be surprised when I'll tell you I baked more, right?"

Minho's face blushes to an adorable shade of pink. "Maybe... m-maybe I can eat one more".

©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[disneyprincemuke]

ღ this barbie can cook

every single weekend, without fail, there is one thing that mick looks forward to that has absolutely nothing to do with the adrenaline from the race. it’s actually the fact that she makes him lunch all 4 days of a race weekend and they eat it together in honda’s cafeteria together while the prop up her ipad on the table and bond over a korean drama she managed to coax him into watching.

during pre-season testing in bahrain, she made him a lot of japanese food. japanese curry as promised, then a bowl of ramen, gyudon and then onigiri for race day.

for their first race weekend, korean food. korean fried chicken, bibimbap, japchae and bulgogi in that order. in jeddah, she tried threw him a wildcard of dishes while somehow still sticking to a theme: baked potato, mashed potatoes, potato soup and sauteed potatoes.

it’s a game they like to play every weekend — how long can mick decipher the theme of food she’s making him?

“hi,” she grins, dropping her bright pink lunch bag on the table. she thanks mick softly as he pulls the chair next to him out for her to take a seat. “i brought lunch!”

he smiles with a nod. it’s funny that she would say that as if it’s something that they did not establish beforehand — that she would be making him lunch every race weekend that they’re teammates. “did you now?”

“i made pakora,” she says as she starts to take out multiple tupperwares out from her bag. “fried veggies.”

“really?” he scrunches his nose with a frown, pulling a giggle as she throws her head back. ��veggies on media day? you’ve gone cruel, barbie. where’s my junk food?”

she blinks at him, eyes wide as she formulates a response in her head. “it’s fried. it’s already junk food, mick.”

he scoffs, furrowing his eyebrows and scowling in feigned disgust. “this is ridiculous, barbie! vegetables on media day!”

she stiffens up and turns to him, blinking slowly. “you don’t like it? really?” her voice comes out softly and fragile as her lips quiver slightly. she starts to put the cover back on her tupperware. “we can just get something from catering. it’s okay.”

only then mick realises that he’s messed up. he’s always joked around with her, the girl either tilting her head in confusion at jokes with depth or simply faking a laugh to try and please him. otherwise, jokes usually just go over her head.

“no!” mick sits up quickly, patting her hands lightly, shaking his head profusely. “barbie, i was joking. usually you only give me the healthy food on race day — it’s media day. get it?”

she stares at him, eyes still wide and hesitant. “are you sure? it’s okay if you don’t want it, really.”

“barbie.” he tears her hands from the tupperware along its cover. “it was a joke. you know i look forward to your cooked lunches every weekend! thank you so much for cooking again.”

“you’re sure?”

he grins. “of course. so,” he taps on her ipad, “is the new episode out yet?”

instantly, she perks up as if forgetting her initial concerns. “yes! the new episodes are out — there’s 2!” she taps away on her ipad to turn on the show she’s decided they will watch and spend the entire day discussing.

“oh, cool. so, how long did it take you to make this meal?”

“just a while,” she shrugs. she takes out their utensils, offering the other pair to mick. “let’s have lunch!”

taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @namgification @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo @localwhoore @notawc @angsthology @renarots @elliegrey2803 @cha-hot @cosmoscoffeee @fanficweasley @sugarhoneylemons @aquangxl @omgsuperstarg @strawberryubin @lovecarsgoingvroom @mangotaitai @cherry-piee @ladyladybuggg @lethalvenus @spilled-coffee-cup @charizznorizz @wcnorris @storminacloud @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @leilanixx @daniellef89x @fezlvr @lavisenri @xcharlottemikaelsonx @ultraviolencesam @selsbackyard @ilove-tswizzle @riddle-me-im-sirius @kindestofkings

[yanderederee]

LittleSnack

a/n:ive been eating a lot lately, and getting a little insecure about it.. so here’s some comfort♡

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“You packed way too much food again!”

Your friend said in an appalled tone.

Atsushi Murasakibara’s ears perked at the mention of too much food, immediately lifting his head up from his previously sleeping position. Looking over at you right away, he stared down your loaded bento.

His mouth watered. Grilled beef, a side of fragrant pan noodles, dumplings, and … leftover Bibimbap. Now his mouth was watering ….

Of course, Murasakibara had finished his lunch long ago. Now that it was lunch though, he was sort of regretting it. No matter how many times he regrets eating his lunch too soon, he always does it again the next day…

“You eat like that everyday y/n… pretty soon, you’re gonna start gaining even more weight…” your friend continued with a judgmental overlook.

You laughed off her rude comment. “You know I’m not worried about that kind of stuff. I just have a big appetite.”

Your defense fell on deaf ears as your friend sighed. “Can’t you just use a normal excuse, like ‘I accidentally made too much!’ And offer the rest of what you shouldn’t eat to someone you like?”

You paused eating upon her words, annoyance prickling your good mood. “I don’t need to make an excuse for my eating habits… I’m happy just the way I am.” You replied calmly, continuing your lunch with a bit more attitude.

Murasakibara, overheating the entire thing, smirked. He’d always had a little bit of an admiration towards you and your large appetite. It was rare to find a girl who ate as much as you. But since he was never all that interested in girls, he made no effort in learning more about you than that.

Seeing this new side of you was nice. He liked the way you stood up for yourself, and took pride in the way you were. Not to mention, the food you brought in always looked homemade. He couldn’t help but wonder if you made it yourself.

“Whatever, just trying to look out for you.” Your friend shrugged, and kept silent about the subject.

Murasakibara glanced at you, instead of your food, and noticed a weird look on your face. Even after you finished the entirety of your bento, you still looked unsatisfied.

The food looked great, and he couldn’t imagine you’d still be hungry. Maybe you were; he was often still hungry after any meal he had too. That’s why he snacked so much, anyway.

That had to be it, you were snacky. No matter how delicious the food you had was, it was true you had nothing sweet.

Dessert was the most important part of a meal, after all.

Without realizing the meaning behind his actions before acting on them, he began searching his snack-school bag for what he had on him.

Four bags of different chips, three mambo sticks, two rice cakes, a few handfuls of Sakura mochi candies, a bag of hi-chew, and two red bean buns.

Looking at the assortment made his mouth water. He was definitely going to indulge in some snacks as well. Reaching in, he pulled out a bag of chips, a mambo stick, four Sakura mochi, a handful of hichew, and a red bean bun. He honestly had no idea what kind of food or snacks you liked, so he just grabbed a little bit of everything.

Hauling the load in his stupidly large hands, he quietly walked over to your desk. You were sitting alone now with your bento neatly put away, since lunch was only a minute from ending.

“Y/n-chin…” your classmate said in a deadpan tone, before laying the snacks out on your desk. Your eyes bulged wide in shock. Your mouth fell open, confused. Speechless, you craned your neck up to look at your tall classmate. “M-Murasakibara-kun…?” You asked.

He nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “You looked hungry… teach yells at me if she catches me snacking during class though, so careful not go get caught…” he looked away after catching your glistening gaze.

Why was he suddenly embarrassed?

“Y-you didn’t have to! I couldn’t..” you tried to offer the snacks back, but he already started walking away. “Eat them all y/n-chin~”

And just as he sat back in his seat, the class bell rang to start lessons. Crap, he was gonna have to sneak-snack again.

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Murasakibara was putting away his school materials, careful not to squish any of the snacks inside. “M-Murasakibara-kun…” you said quietly while standing over his desk. With an unimpressed glance, he looked at you, practically at each other’s height even though he was sitting.

“Thanks for the snacks today… they were really good.” You smiled at him. “I don’t have anything to repay you though, so…”

You looked down at your fidgeting fingers. “I-if you don’t mind, I’d like to cook you something. I-I always accidentally make too much food at home, enough for an extra bento or two… so, if there’s anything you’d like, I’d be happy to make something for you.”

As if buffering, Murasakibara sat unmoving in silence. Well, this was a surprise. He wasn’t sure how he should respond. He didn’t offer you the snacks to get something out of you, but he’d be lying if he didn’t want to eat your cooking.

“Really?” He asked.

You nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely!”

“You’re sure?” He asked again.

You laughed heartily at this. He wasn’t sure what was so funny, but your continued laughter was making him feel some type of way. It made him smile, like he was happy or something.

“Yes I’m sure! Do you have any requests?” You asked after finally getting your giggling under control.

Murasakibara looked up, and hummed in thought. “Anything I want…. That’s a dangerous question y/n-chin, since I like everything…”

You hummed in unison, and thought. “Buttered chicken?”

“Sounds yummy.”

“Sautéed carrots?”

His nose wrinkled. “Hate carrots.”

You giggled. “No carrots. Pork dumplings?”

“Sure…”

“Muchim?”

“As long as it isn’t too spicy.”

Satisfied, you nodded, and pulled your bag over your shoulder in preparation to leave. “Look forward to it, then!”

Murasakibara wasn’t sure why, but he felt the urge to call out for you when you began to walk away. He didn’t though, remained sitting while he watched you leave.

“What was that about?” Himuro asked suddenly, scaring the purple giant half to death. “Nothin’” he huffed in reply.

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The next day, Murasakibara almost forgot about yesterday’s events. He forgot things pretty easily. As he put his shoes away, he began thinking about if he’d have enough time to eat his bento before the beginning of the day bell rang.

“Murasakibara-kun,” he heard his name call out to him from behind, halfway down the hall. He stopped, and looked back to see you with two large furushiki wrappings in hand. “I might have went a little overboard, sorry.” You laughed quietly.

Oh yeah, you promised to bring him lunch today. He wasn’t sure how he forgot that.

“Thanks,” he accepted the purple furushiki, surprised by its hefty weight.

“I hope it’s to your liking!” You grinned up at him. Caught up in surprise, he only just realized how fucking short you were. Everyone was short compared to him but, well, he could have easily missed you if he didn’t actively look down.

Before he had the chance to reply, you were jogging off to your shared classroom, carefree and greeting friends along the way.

…

The hours seemed to pass agonizingly slow between then and lunch time… Despite being successful in scarfing down the lunch his mom packed him for the day (as per usual), he was eager to finally enjoy the food he’d been wishing he could eat from your bento from afar.

…

Finally, the heavenly sound of the lunch bell ended morning lectures. Immediately, he pulled out the wrapped bento box, unwrapped the furushiki, and popped open the first of three boxes.

He wanted to eat slowly, savor each bite for its amazing flavor. But that was just impossible. He barely had enough time to chew between each bite, he was eating so fast.

Too distracted by the food in front of him, he hadn’t noticed you staring at him. “He sure is eating fast,” you chuckled to yourself, making your friend cock an eyebrow at you. “Why the sudden interest? Wait… isn’t that one of your lunch boxes? No, that’s definitely your furushiki on his desk. Y/n, did you..?!” She asked, almost choking on her own lunch.

“W-what can I say… I-I accidentally made too much…” you looked away from her suspecting squint. “Oh my god.” She whispered, looking back to Murasakibara. “Never for a thousand years would I have guessed… you and Mu—“ she tried to tease you, but you cut her off with a sush.

“Not out loud..!” You whispered red faced.

Glancing back again, you spotted Murasakibara seeking you out, mouth full and giving you a big thumbs up. You almost gasped, his approval earning a much deeper blush out of you.

Once he’d finished, he wrapped everything back up. Though, when he handed it back to you, it was much… lumpier than you remembered.

“It was good.” Murasakibara reported back to you in his usual dull tone. “Just good?” Your friend huffed. “That’s it?”

Murasakibara narrowed his eyes, not sure what she meant. It’s not like he was very fond of her anyway, given her attitude toward the way you ate in the first place. Was she trying to get on his nerves?

“She went out of her way to make extra food for you? Can’t you act a little more grateful for her kindness?” She asked, pulling her own finished dishes away from your desk.

“S-stop.!” You hissed.

Your friend shrugged, unfazed. “Just sayin’.” She said just before walking away, leaving you two in shock.

“D-don’t worry about—“ you tried to laugh off the poor attitude she left behind, but Murasakibara got the idea.

“The Muchim was a little spicy, but i really liked it. The rice you made was fluffier than how my mom makes it, so I liked it better. The sauce you put on the chicken was also different than I’ve had before, so I really liked that too… I also liked the way you fried the dumplings on the bottom…” he tried thinking of different ways to compliment your exceptional cooking, but he wasn’t really that good with words. Hell, he wasn’t very social in general. Talking to you at all was out of his normal behavior.

Nevertheless, his kind words struck a cord in you. “It wasn’t too much?” You asked.

“I could have thirds.” He admitted.

“I have some leftover from my own lunch, if you-“

“Nah, that’s your food y/n-chin. You should finish it.” Murasakibara pointed at the lunchbox wrapping he handed back to you. “I also left some snacks in there for you as thanks, make sure to eat those too.”

That explains why the wrapping was lumpy. You couldn’t help but laugh again. “That’s thoughtful of you, thanks.”

Murasakibara nodded, and started walking back to his desk, but felt a tug on his sleeve that made him stop and look back.

“Sorry… but, do you mind if I call you by a nickname? After all, not only do you call me by my first name, but it’s also shortened…”

He looked down at you silently for a moment too long to feel comfortable. “I-I just mean, Murasakibara is a bit of a mouthful, you know?”

Crap, were you overstepping? Nervously, you averted your gaze. He liked seeing this shy side of you too. Atsushi smiled, and sat in the seat your friend left open. “Sure. What’d you have in mind?”

Happily surprised at his change of tone, you unfolded the lunch cloth, and pulled out a red bean bun.

Til the end of lunch, you both sat and chatted with one another.

[kangaroosmile]

Washing away the bad energy - Jisung

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description: When you come home after work you find a tired Jisung on your sofa who had a very bad day. You offer him to wash all the bad energy away.

pairing: Han Jisung x gnreader

genre: fluff, boyfriend Jisung, gnreader, non-sexual nudity, reader is taking care of Jisung, you help Jisung take a shower

word count: ~1.7 k

trigger warning: nudity (non-sexual), mentioning of food and eating, mental health issues

A/N: If there are any tags or tw you think I should add, please inform me about it ♡ but now enjoy the story.

You can find more of my stories under Stray Kids Masterlist

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When you opened the door to your apartment, the light in your living room was turned on. When you walked further in, you noticed Jisung sitting on your sofa deeply wrapped in your favourite blanket. He was watching a documentary, his eyes focused on your TV. You placed the takeaway on your kitchen table and walked over towards Jisung. When you stopped in front of him he finally seemed to notice you. And you noticed how tired he looked.

"How was your day?", Jisung asked.

"Tiring. How are you?" He kept quiet for a moment, looking towards the tv instead of answering. "You don't need to tell me how you are right now", you whispered, softly playing with his hair. "Just tell me what you need right now." A soft smile appeared on his face as his glance turned back to you. He slowly opened his arms and it just took you a second to drive into his arms. You made yourself comfortable as Jisung wrapped his arms around you tightly. A soft sigh escaped Jisungs lips.

For a few moments you two just listened to the documentary which was still playing on the TV.

"I got us both some takeaway. If you want, we can eat that and then we can do what you want. What do you think?", you asked, while running your hand through his hair.

"What have you bought?", he mumbled against your shoulder, his eyes softly closed.

"Bibimbap and cheesecake."

"Nice!", Jisung said, slowly getting up from your sofa, still wrapped in the big blanket. You got up as well and grabbed the takeaway bag to sit down next to Jisung at your coffee table. You let him open the bag and watched as a wide smile appeared on his lips.

"Thanks for grabbing takeaway", he whispered, shortly leaning in and placing his head on your shoulder.

"When you texted me, asking whether you could stop by after work I knew I just wanted to spoil you a bit." Hearing this, Jisung softly moved his body against you as a whine left his mouth. Laughing at his reaction, you carried his cheeks for a second.

"Let's eat before everything gets cold." Jisung nodded and started to dig in. In silence and with the television in the background you two are. You learned to enjoy this side of your relationship just as much as the cheerful times. After a while Jisung had stopped eating and was now just looking at you. His eyes started to move from you to his hands and back again. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Jisung let out a deep breath.

"I don't want to force myself on you. I… what if you don't want to do what I ask you for but you are doing it anyways?", he ranted, looking everywhere but at you.

"Jisungie", you mumbled, taking his hands in yours. "I know you have these thoughts and I know it's hard to let them go. But I can assure you that I am fine with everything. Otherwise I wouldn't say yes to it", you explained. "And I will tell you this every time you ask." You smiled at him, hoping it was looking encouraging and honest. His glance fell on his hands again.

"I'm sorry that I am like this." Hr whispered.

"There is nothing you need to feel sorry about." He stayed silent and you knew he was thinking about what you had said. Then he softly nodded his head. You were not sure whether he was really believing in what you have said but you would tell him that every time he would need to hear it. "Will you tell me what was on your mind?"

"I wanted to ask whether I could side hug you but then I was unsure because you were still eating and I didn't want to interrupt you", he then explained.

"Oh Sungie", you breathed, softly patting his cheek. "Of course you can do that. And thank you for being honest with me. It really means a lot to me." Jisungs shoulders went down a bit as he exhaled. Without another word Jisung leaned in and hugged you from the side. You placed a short kiss on the top of his head and then finished the rest of your Bibimbap.

"Today was hard", whispered Jisung after a while. "I got up too late which meant I didn't have enough time to prepare for the day." You wrapped your free arm around him and pulled him closer. "Then the yoghurt I wanted to eat had gone bad. And one of the managers said my song is too dark so we can't use it in our next comeback."

"Oh that's a lot in one day", you muttered.

"It was", he said, his voice trembling and his eyes already watery. If possible, you pulled him even closer.

"But you did it. You got through everything and now you are here", you mumbled carrying his back.

"Yes… I did", he replied, his voice still trembling.

"You can be proud of yourself."

"You know what we will do now?", you asked, backing away a bit to look at Jisung. The other looked confused and shook his head. "We will wash all the bad things away. Of course only if you are comfortable with this", you suggested, feeling a bit nervous because it would be something new. You have never seen him completely naked and you didn't know whether Jisung was fine with this or not.

"You would do that for me?", he asked, his eyes wide and his eyebrows high up. As you stood up, you nodded and held your hand out towards him. He took it and let himself be pulled up. Together you walked towards your bath.

"I will get you a new towel and a few clothes you left the last time around", you told him, while playing with his hair. He softly nodded and as you left your bathroom he started to undress himself. You were humming a soft melody as you walked back in. Jisung had his back towards you already completely naked. Carefully you stroked over his wide shoulders which made him fall slightly against you. A light sigh escaped his mouth and he leaned even more into you. You wrapped your arms around his upper body and his hands closed around yours in front of his chest. For a moment you stayed like this. Just enjoying having him close but then you carefully patted his chest.

"Let's wash all the bad energy off." At that, Jisung nodded and slowly stepped into the bathtub. He crouched down and waited as you turned the water on. "Is the temperature alright for you?", you asked while letting the water run over Jisungs hands.

"Yes. That's nice", he mumbled and closed his eyes as you started to let the warm water run over his back and shoulders. You softly started to continue the melody you had hummed earlier, carefully spreading the shampoo over Jisungs shoulders, neck, back and chest.

"I'm gonna smell like you", muttered Jisung, looking up with a wide but tired looking smile. You couldn't hold back a giggle as you nodded and kissed his still dry hair.

"That's true. My Jisungie will smell like me." It made him laugh lightly, leaning against your hand which was now on his head. "Can I wash your hair now?", you asked softly as you stroked through his hair. Letting out a sigh, he nodded as an answer. When his hair was wet and washed you let the warm water run over his body a few more moments. His shoulders seemed much more relaxed now. He looked quite adorable playing with the small runlet of water.

"Thank you for this" muttered Jisung and looked up to you. You smiled back at him.

"Do you want to get out now?" Without saying anything he stood up and closed the tap, while you stepped back and held a towel out for him to grab. After a moment Jisung accepted the towel and began to pat his body dry. Meanwhile you took a hairdryer out of one of your small bathroom cabinets and plucked it in. When you turned towards Jisung again he had dressed himself already. You nearly cooed seeing him standing there in front of you with sleepy eyes and sweater paws. "Let's dry your hair a bit. What do you think, jagi?", you whispered as you held out a hand for him to take. You saw Jisungs cheeks softly turning pink and a bright smile appearing on his lips. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub and closed his eyes when you started to dry his hair. You parted his hair a few times, always careful to not pull at his hair. And when his hair was dry enough you turned off the hairdryer.

Suddenly Jisung leaned forwards right against your body, slowly wrapping his arms around your torso.

"I am so grateful for having you in my life", he whispered against your hoodie but you heard him nonetheless.

"And I am so thankful to have you in my life as well", you replied to his confession and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Can we go to your bed for some cuddles?"

"Just for cuddles? Does that mean you are planning to go to your own home tonight?", you asked jokingly, which made Jisung laugh.

"I would like to sleep here tonight, if that's alright." With a wide smile you nodded and pulled him up.

"Of course that's alright." As you two walked into your bedroom you noticed that Jisung seemed already in a lighter mood again. As Jisung made himself comfortable under your covers you changed into your pyjamas and shortly texted Chan. After that you joined Jisung and within minutes both of you had fallen asleep. With arms linked.

You:

Took care of Sungie. He is doing better again. We are going to sleep now. :)

21:58

Chan:

Thanks for taking care of Jisung in a way we can't. I really hope we can all meet soon again.

Sleep well you two.

22:01

[gunwookies]

cute things zb1 does in a relationship

pairing: zb1 x gn! reader genre: fluff! suggestive at hao's, lil angsty at taerae's warnings: slightly cringey word count: 3.5k notes: I tried to write every character based on my interpretation of the members! also for yujin's I assumed the reader goes to school since he does too.

jiwoong:

he always makes sure that you are well fed!

jiwoong always asks you if you’ve eaten. just like he cares so much about his health, he cares so much about your health! when you’re stressed you often forget to eat so he’s the one that always makes sure your tummy is full! he lovesss to cook for you! when you come home from work tired, he knows that food is the way to your heart. so he always welcomes you home with a plate of rice or a bowl of soup ready to listen to you talk about your day. if you’re too tired he’ll even feed you because he finds you so cute.

you unlock your apartment door, trudging through. your nose is hit with the strong smell of garlic and chili oil. your eyes find their way towards the kitchen, where jiwoong’s back is facing you as he spoons some bibimbap into a porcelain bowl.

“you’re home?” jiwoong asks, his back still facing you as he finishes preparing the food. you smile to yourself as his voice gives you the comfort you’d been longing for all day. you drop your bags on the couch as you head towards the kitchen. you wrap your arms around jiwoong’s waist, snuggling your cheek into his back. you feel jiwoong slightly giggle and look up to see the cute crinkle of his eyes. “are you tired?” he asked, looking down at you over his shoulder.

 “mhm,” you affirmed. he turned around to face you, your arms still around his waist. his hands reached your face, fingers cupping your cheeks as he placed a small peck on your forehead. his fingers lightly caress your ears as he places his forehead against yours.

“how about you have some of this bibimbap i made you and then we can watch a movie and cuddle? yeah?” he whispers. you nodded enthusiastically before stealing a quick peck on his lips.

zhang hao:

constantly praises and compliments you

hao is your number one fan and he always wants you to remember that. he literally cannot go an hour without praising you. he’ll randomly stop you when you’re walking together down the street to just tell you how beautiful you look. as soon as you wake up next to him, hair all messy and face puffy, he doesn’t hesitate to tell you how attractive you are as he looks straight into your eyes. he loves seeing how shy you get at his words, but even more how you gain confidence when you are around him. he definitely feels pride from having such an amazing partner as you.

you wrapped a towel around your body as you stepped out of the shower. hao had booked a dinner reservation for the both of you as it was your three year anniversary. you were so excited as today was such a special day and you were ready to spend it with your boyfriend in such a romantic way. as you walked out of the bathroom, you saw hao leaning against the bedframe, scrolling on his phone. his gaze raised as he saw you from the corner of his eyes. a small smirk formed on his lips as his eyes were glued on your frame. he shoved his phone into his pocket as he walked towards you. you didn’t pay him any mind as you walked towards your closet, looking for something to wear. as you stood in front of your clothes, you felt hao’s arms snake around your waist. 

“you look so beautiful, right now,” he whispered, placing a small kiss on your neck. he continued to place kisses all across your neck and shoulders.

“come on, hao. i need to get dressed.”

“but you just look so gorgeous like this. i can’t believe i get to see this beauty with my own two eyes,” he whispers into your ear, before he places a kiss there. you turn around, hiding your blushing face into his neck. 

“we’re gonna be late.”

“ i think we should just stay home and do… other things,” he smiled innocently. and of course, you could only agree.

hanbin:

loves to spoil you

hanbin just loves to see you happy, especially when he’s the reason. and he’ll do anything to achieve that. he always notices the twinkle in your eyes when you see something you want. he doesn’t even think twice about buying it for you, because he just want to see you happy like that. you never even ask for anything but hanbin just always knows exactly what you want. even just going to the convenience store, he always brings something for you. even when you don’t ask for anything. more than anything, he loves giving you meaningful gifts. like how he once gifted you a weighted blanket because you complained that you weren’t sleeping well. 

you rushed down the stairs of your apartment, still in your pjs. hanbin had texted you that he was outside of your apartment. you were completely confused as you had just seen each other for breakfast this morning. but it was still an opportunity to see your favorite person, so you were delighted. as you walked outside in the windy cold, you noticed hanbin leaning against a tree. he broke into a sweet smile as his eyes met yours. you walked towards him and noticed his hands hidden behind his back. 

“hey, love,” he smiled as you reached him. you waddled in front of him, placing a peck on his lips. you noticed how his arms didn’t even reach to touch you as you kissed him. you looked down to see he was holding something in his hands. hanbin noticed your gaze and hesitantly stretched his arms towards you. flowers. he bought you a bouquet of flowers. you broke into a smile, noticing how they were your favorite flowers, camelia flowers. 

“what is this for?” you asked, as you grabbed the bouquet, placing it against your chest.

“i just saw them as i was walking home and i had to get them for you. pretty flowers for such a pretty person,” he said, smiling shyly, his ears growing red. you giggled, leaning into his embrace. 

“thank you, hanbinnie,” you muttered, kissing his cheek.

matthew:

he loves taking pictures of you

matthew just loves admiring your beauty. anytime he can, he just takes out his phone and snaps a picture of you. he especially loves doing it in secret. whenever he wakes up before you in the morning, he loves to sneak pictures of you sleeping because you just look so peaceful and beautiful. he even has a picture album named after you where he just has pictures of you. whenever you guys go on dates he always makes sure to take a picture of you, wether it be from across the table or in front of a beautiful scenery. whenever you’re not with him, he’ll go through the photo album and smile at the beauty. 

you walked hand-in-hand with your boyfriend over a bridge that overlooked the han river. 

“aw, come on! i was not that awkward,” matthew whined as he recalled the day he confessed to you.

“matthew, you were stuttering and you couldn’t even look me in the eyes,” you giggled, leaning your head on his shoulder. it was true, you had never seen matthew look so nervous until that day three years ago. 

“okay, i definitely was nervous. but, you can’t blame me. i liked you so much that i probably wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if you rejected me.” you giggled, pinching his cheek. you settled back into comfortable silence as your eyes wandered around your surroundings.

“the river looks so beautiful with all the lights reflecting on it like that,” you noticed, stopping to stare. 

“it really does look beautiful. here, go stand there. let me take a picture,” mathew says, taking out his phone. you walked over towards the edge of the bridge, standing awkwardly in front. you didn’t really know what to do so you just threw up a peace sign as you always did. “come on, y/n. you can do better than that,” matthew says. “you should look at my instagram for inspo,” he grinned behind the camera. you giggled, before throwing your hands back into the peace signs. what you didn’t know is that matthew was able to capture that beautiful smile of yours. “you look so cute!” he praised as he looked at the pictures he took. 

taerae:

takes care of you even when he’s mad at you

you’re taerae’s number one moodmaker. so when you fight, it really hurts him. because of that he tends to give you the silent treatment. if he tries to talk to you he knows he’ll break down into tears so he just waits for you to come up to him. but, you can be just as stubborn as him so this could mean whole days without talking. however, taerae feels responsible for taking care of you anyways, so he does so in small and quiet ways, like leaving you coffee in the morning when you wake up, throwing a blanket over you and turning the tv off when you fall asleep on the couch, or folding your laundry just the way you like it without asking, which usually cause you to give in and forgive him. 

you had locked yourself in your room for hours, silently crying in your bed as you replayed the scene over in your head. you had never fought so bad with taerae and it was all for nothing. it was stupid. you hated fighting with him. why’d he have to overwork himself so much? why couldn’t he just come home and rest with you? it wasn’t fair that his agency was taking your boyfriend away from you. but it was also his dream, and you couldn’t take that away from him. you just wanted to run into his arms and hug him and tell him everything was okay. but then the scenes of him yelling at you, eyebrows furrowed replayed in your head. you were too stubborn to forgive him so easily. suddenly, you heard a knock at the door. you jolted in your bed, standing up to head to the door. you hesitated before opening it, as you weren’t sure if you wanted to face taerae like this. however, you wiped your tears and opened the door. to your surprise, there was no one there. but you looked down and noticed a cup of tea on the floor.  as you picked it up, you noticed there was a note stuck to it. 

“i love you no matter what. i’m sorry - taerae”

ricky:

he loves to make you nervous

ricky is such a naturally flirty guy, but only with you. so, he just loves doing little things that he knows will make your heart flutter. you’re usually pretty shy when it comes to physical affection, so ricky loves to catch you off-guard. he loves to see the way your breath hitches and your eyes panic when he does something risky. he doesn’t care if you’re alone or surrounded by people. but secretly, it affects ricky just as much as it does to you. he would never want you to know how fast his heart beats or how his hands shake, when he does these kinds of things.

“hahah loser! i’ve beaten you three times now,” you say as you stick out your tongue at your boyfriend. ricky pouted as he threw the game controller onto the bed. 

“it’s just because you’re distracting me!” he whined, throwing himself back on the bed. you shook your head in disbelief.

“what do you mean? i’m just playing mario kart fair and square! i haven’t even talked to you!” you mirrored ricky’s pout, crossing you arms against your chest. 

“yeah, well you’re so cute i can’t focus,” he mutters. your breath hitched just the slightest.

“ricky… th-this is just your way of sidetracking me so i’ll lose. guess what? it won’t work!” ricky chuckled, sitting back up as he gripped the game controller.

“we’ll see about that? if i win this next round, you owe me ice cream,” he proposed. 

“deal. you won’t win though,” you affirmed. this time you were completely determined to beat ricky, this was ice cream on the line. as the game started, your eyes were focused on the screen. you were pleased to realize you were beating ricky! though he was only two places behind you, you were sure that you could beat him. that was until an overwhelming force pushed your back into the bed. less than a second later, a pair of lips attacked yours. they moved swiftly against yours, his tongue lightly licking your lips. you could feel your heart beating a thousand miles per hour. without realizing it, you became completely captivated and forgot all about the game. but, ricky didn’t. just as quickly as he kissed you, he parted from you, getting back into the game. and before you knew it, he had won.

“RICKY!” you whined, lightly punching his bicep. 

“you were totally into it,” he smirked. “and you owe me ice cream.”

gyuvin:

he’s literally attached to your hip

apart from being your boyfriend, gyuvin is your bestfriend. that’s why he wants to do absolutely everything with you. he also thinks you’re literally the cutest person on earth, so he tends to baby you. no matter what you’re doing, gyuvin either has an arm around you, his hand in yours, caressing your face, your hair. there is absolutely no scenario in which gyuvin isn’t touching you in some way. and you’ve become absolutely dependant on his touch, to the point where you’ve become just as needy for his touch. 

you were laying on the couch of your shared apartment, gyuvin’s head laying on your lap. your fingers played with his hair, gently ruffling it as your eyes stay stuck on the tv screen. suddenly, you felt a storm in your stomach. gyuvin turned his head to look at you, the corner of his lips pointing upwards. 

“are you hungry?” he asked, a cute downward smile on his lips. you nodded slowly, a shy smile on your lips. gyuvin then got up, sitting down next to you. 

“how about we go down to the convenience store and get some ramen and snacks?” he suggested, a mischievous smile on his lips. 

“you go. i don’t wanna get up,” you whined, leaning against his shoulder.

“come on! you know i can’t do anything without you. plus, you’ll have so much more fun with me than alone here with your tv,” he grinned, standing up in front of you.

“alright, kim kwaja. let’s go,” you sighed, giving him your hand to pull you up. 

you walked along the street, your arm locked in gyuvin’s. 

“i’m so cold,” you grumbled, snuggling into gyuvin’s chest. “i should’ve just stayed inside.” gyuvin giggled at how cute you looked, all grumpy and annoyed. he took your hands in his, warming them up with friction and placing a kiss on the back of your hands before putting them in his pocket. your cheeks heated up at the sweet act. 

“better?” his voice asked, lovingly.

“yeah,” you muttered, cheesing to yourself. 

“see. how can you live without me?” 

gunwook:

he gets jealous

gunwook’s biggest pride is you. so when he feels like that is being challenged, he tends to get a little irritated. however, he never makes it your problem because he understands that you’re such a charming person that it’s only natural for others to flirt with you. that doesn’t stop him from feeling a little jealous on the inside, though. he’s not usually a confrontational guy, gunwook is such a cutie, especially for you. but when he feels threatened, he tends to puff up his chest and pretend he’s all cool and mighty. you think its the cutest thing in the world. 

gunwook had taken you on a date to the amusement park. you’d been nagging gunwook for forever to go and he’d finally complied.  after going on all the rides you wanted to go to at least three times, you were both so tired. 

“how about we go get something to eat?” gunwook offered, squeezing your hand in his. you nodded enthusiastically. 

“how about we get some churros? ooh, and a milkshake?” you you asked, giving gunwook those puppy eyes that always worked on him. 

“yeah, yeah, alright. let’s go,” he said, melting completely. 

“ooh!” you gasped as you saw a couple wearing matching headbands. gunwook noticed the way your eyes lit up and immediately knew. 

“ok, you go get the food and i’ll go get us some cute headbands,” he said with a low chuckle. you giggled, thanking him with a kiss on the cheek before heading to get the food.  as you approached the food booth, you noticed a familiar face. your childhood friend, jungwon, was standing in line. as soon as he saw you, his eyes lit up.

“y/n!” he yelled, waving you over. “it’s been so long,” he said as he embraced you in a hug. as you got your food, you engaged in a long and enthusiastic conversation with him.

when gunwook arrived, wearing pink bunny ears and holding another pair in his hand, he didn’t like the view. he didn’t like the way jungwon was looking at you, or the way he kept touching your shoulder when he talked to you. he sped up walking to you and surprised you by wrapping his arm around your waist. 

“oh! hi, gunwook. this is jungwon,” you said, smiling. 

“hi. i’m her boyfriend, gunwook. nice to meet you,” he said with an unusually deep voice, placing the bunny ears on your head before shaking jungwon’s hand without cracking a smile.

“well, nice to meet you too! i'll get going y/n. it was nice to see you,” jungwon said, giving you a pat on the shoulder before walking away. you smiled at him, then turned towards gunwook. 

“you didn’t have to scare him off like that,” you scolded him.

“i just didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” he pouted, wrapping his arms around your waist and hiding his face in your neck. 

“you’re just the cutest, aren’t you?” you whisper.

yujin

he’s always blowing up your phone

yujin will literally relate anything he sees to you. because of that he’s always sending you pictures of things that remind him of you, or tiktoks, or memes that will make you laugh. he just sees you in every little thing and wants you to know. when you get home from school, you go straight to your phone to watch all the tiktoks yujin’s sent you and one by one respond to them. he’s also the type of boyfriend that would call you in the middle of a school day. he’d be obsessed with you.

you were able to sneak into the bathroom during math class, since you knew he wouldn’t notice you were gone. you quickly entered the bathroom stall in the far left, and rang your boyfriend. he immediately picked up.

“hi,” he said, all giggly. your cheeks warmed at the sound of his voice. 

“hey yujinnie,” you replied, warmly. “how’s your day been?” 

“i haven’t seen your face yet, so not that good,” he complained. you laughed lightly, but enough to make yujin smile. “it’s not fair that i don’t get to see you laugh with my own two eyes right now.”

“don’t be so whiny, yujin. here, i’ll turn on my camera,” you gave in. you turned on your camera, your smiling face being the first thing yujin saw. he gasped.

“what is this golden light that’s blinding my eyes? is it a goddess? an angel? oh wait it’s just y/n’s beauty” he announced dramatically. you chuckled, shaking your head.

“hey! now you turn on your camera!” you whined.

“alright, alright,” he complied. instantly, his face filled the screen. you gawked at how beautiful he look under the horrible bathroom lighting. his hair slightly fluffy, and a few strands falling over his eyes. he looked so cute it made you mad. 

“you’re alright,” you shrugged. 

“after i just compared you to a goddess? just ‘alright’?” he frowned jokingly.

“okay! i guess you’re pretty handsome,” you mutter. 

“i’ll take it!”

“sooo, do you wanna go to the movies after school? there’s this really good horror movie i wanna watch!” you suggested.

“sounds good, i’ll meet you there at three? maybe we can grab something to eat beforehand.”

“okay. i’ll see you later!” you said, sending him a kiss through the screen. he grabbed it in the air, holding it against his heart. 

“see you later, y/n.” you thought you saw a semblance of pink on his cheeks before the call ended.

[mingiiwingii]

Masterlist. Chapter1. Chapter2. Chapter3.

SUMMARY | Hes your baby daddy but he’s also part of the mafia- the boss at that. He left you without saying anything but leaving a note explaining how it was the best for you guys and he would miss you. Then disappearing completely out of your life never being seen again a month before you found out you were pregnant.

PAIRINGS | mafia boss father Bangchan x mother!female reader

RATING | 18+

NOW PLAYING | Like him: Tyler The Creator

LENGTH | 1,102

A few weeks after the situation with Christopher things have been going by very smoothly he wasn’t in yours nor your daughters sight. Except you couldn’t help but think about him 24/7. You could be in the middle of washing dishes and you’d suddenly fill water coming out of your eyes

You knew it wasn’t fair to your daughter that she didn’t know who her father was. At the same time you wouldn’t allow her to know, you didn’t know how long he’d be out there and if he planed on leaving again. You didn’t want your daughter to feel the heartbreak of a man at her young age.

You did your same Saturday routine but you wanted to change it up. “Hey mommy’s beautiful girl how about we get ice cream and then we can go to grandmas, does that sound fun we haven’t seen her in a little right” you asked the young girl that stood before you. She looks up at you and smiles “I miss grandma so much of course”

After you guys had eaten lunch you decided to surprise her with lunch since you guys don’t really eat out for lunch. “Mama are we really buying lunch today” she asked with her big bubbly eyes. You smiled at her “of course and you can get anything you want.” Your daughter just looked up and gave you a grin you knew you had made a mistake. “And for the young lady” asked the waiter “I will have a side of ramen with chicken inside with two boiled eggs because I live them. The I want some white rice with japchae and kimchi. Oooo and some tteokboki I love that and gimbap and some bibimbap. That’s all” she said with a huge smile.

“Is that alright with mom” the waiter asked “yes yes she’s excited since we don’t eat out for lunch often”

the waiter smiled and nodded her head and walked away. After you guys finished your food not so much of your daughter she had tons of leftovers you asked your waiter for your bill since it was already 1:32 and your mom was expecting you guys at 1:00 and you still had to get ice cream. “The kind young man over there paid for your meal” she said with a smile. You than looked over to your right and seen bangchan with the same little girl from last time they were also eating with the women that usually drops the little girl off. “Oh oh okay” you said and nodded.

Your daughter also looked over and

saw her friend she got up and ran so of course you chased after her “HEYYYYY it’s yerim guess what dad we’ve update our friendship level to bestiessss and also I want to giver her my iPad iCloud so we can call” yerim pulled her iPad from off the side of her “here type it type it” she typed it in on her iPad “call me so one day we can have a sleepover” yerim smiled and nodded then waved her goodbye you bowed at them and the two of you walked away.

After you dropped her off to your moms you were all alone so you decided to go and get a spa. The weekend pasted by pretty fast so on Sunday night you were right back at your mom picking your daughter up. After you guys got home yerim went to her room since she was already dressed in her pjs after her shower at her grandmas. You started to hear her talking so you assumed she was talking to herself.

As you went to check on her you

saw her on a FaceTime with that same familiar face from the school. “Yeah I will ask my mama now being the iPad to your daddy” as soon as she was about to start walking to the door with her iPad you ran downstairs to the kitchen where the water for the noodles had been boiling.

You were at the stove when your daughter walked over to you with her iPad “hey mommy here’s my iPad” you looked at her acting like you were confused “um what do you want me to do with it” you took the iPad and then seen the man you once loved. “Mama put the noodles in the pot with the water on low and come to the table and set the iPad up so we can all talk” the little girl smiled than ran to the table.

You did as she said and once you got to the table you seen Christopher and his daughter

sitting at the table. “So me and Mi-so want to have a sleepover next weekend” you looked down at her then back at the screen. “The weekends are the only time that I can just have me time though” you acted like you were just busy to let them come to your house in reality you didn’t care it just the fact of whose daughter it was.

“Exactly mama every weekend I go with grandma so me and her can go to grandmas and that gives both of you guys time off you know that grandma loves kids.” You looked at her puzzled because you truly didn’t know what to say “I guess that is true” yerim looked at you and smiled. “CALL HER CALL HER” she yelled. You just nodded at her and got up and grabbed your phone “oh wait let me turn off the noodles I’ll finish cooking them after we’re done with this.

When you came back with

your phone you dial your mom “put her on speaker” your daughter says so you do just that •hey mom up yerim has a best friend and they were sorta wondering if they could sleep over at your house from Friday to Sunday like yerim would usually do. •oh really any best friend of hers is also my new found best friend I can’t wait to meet the little cutie. Bye bye baby.

Your mom hung up and you look at the screen “I guess it’s a plan you can just drop Mi-so off to my house on around 5” he looked at the screen “is it okay if you pick her up with yerim that afternoon from school I don’t get out of work until 5:30” you looked at him and then nodded “okay just try to have her stuff dropped off to me by 6:45” he gave you a quick nod “I’ll make sure to tell the teacher your on pick up duty today.“

[nso-csi]

241110 (11:42-11:59pm) Taemin bbl live voice call (He flew back to Seoul immediately after the concert)

Taemin: i was thinking that i need to lose weight so i decided that i shall not eat at all on the plane, i am just gonna pass out all the way. But my manager kept asking me ‘are you really not going to eat anything? Are you really okay with that? There is food available. Just let me know i will prepare it for you but i was like ‘nope! I cannot be eating!’ And he was like ‘if you don’t eat you will feel stressed out and if you feel stressed out, you will gain weight.’ And i was like ‘right?? If i don’t eat, I will get stress and that will make me gain more weight right?’ And that’s how my inflight meal came later. I ate inflight meal and there was the menu. I thought I should just eat bibimbap since it’s clean food and I can just eat like 1/3 of the rice and not put any sesame oil at all. I was gonna do that when I saw there was korean-chinese cuisine chicken dish. I took in a deep breath and I thought if i don’t eat this now, i won’t be able to eat it for the rest of my life, i can only eat this here. And after much much much much much consideration, i was like ‘no i should eat bibimbap’ even though i will gain weight if I get stressed out but this will be very out of line for me so I thought I should just eat bibimbap. But there was someone at a grandpa’s age next to me who ordered the same menu and he was having his meal so the sesame oil smell… he mixed it so deliciously so i thought ‘oh? How much sesame oil shall i put~ i shall just put 2~3 drops of it but I couldn’t control myself and ended up putting all in and mixed it. I then put in about 1/4 of the chili paste in too. I was mixing it when I had the soup and I finished it with the remaining rice. Ah.. it was so delicious and how is the kimchi so delicious too so I finished it too. I was eating my bibimbap and there’s the remaining chili paste right? I kept pinching the paste with my chopstick and slowly ate it, it was so delicious and ended up finishing everything. I did well, didn’t i.” cr.

[jjvr4yxc]

They won't notice.

Summary: Dong Wook is attracted to you.

Today you will be visiting a variety show, well, you're gonna be one of the cast/members.

You will be with Kim Beom, Lee Dong-Wook,Song Kang and Kim Soohyun. You might be wondering why it's all boys... Well I am too.

Right now you are in the car, waiting patiently until you get to your destination. Today was a very tough day as a trainee actor, not only you need to be a member of some show, but with professional actors too! (Hot too, hehe)

Your train of thoughts got cut off when the vehicle suddenly stopped, making you look at the driver and to the window, that's when it hits you, you're here. (That's kind of a dumb paragraph)

Your palms started to sweat and your whole half body became noodles-- you are so nervous right now, being with professional actors with a lot of money! And in a big industry too! (Big dick 🤭)

The door opened, gesturing you to get out of the car, in which you did. Following the producers, you are now face to face with the handsome actors.

“hi everyone!” I bowed, bending my knees, “it's nice to meet you!” you beamed.

The actors smiled and introduced themselves, “I'm (Full Name), you can call me anything you want!”

“anything?” Mr. Lee repeated, making you nod and smile.

Mr. Lee looked at the rest of the men and smirked, in which they confusedly did too.

“well then, why don't you start your day?” the producers start, making y'all go inside and find your room, making the way to the room, you noticed it's a lavender painted room, it's fascinating. You will be the only one who will sleep here, sadly, while the men will be in one big room.

You unpacked your things and got outside.

“hi again” you smiled at them, making them copy the action, suddenly Beom asked us what to eat for lunch, we all agreed on eating bibimbap.

Mr. Lee cut the ingredients needed, while the rest of them were doing things, “Princess, do you know how to make desserts or anything sweet?” Wook ask, making you nod. “my family owns a cafe, you can trust me on that!” making him smile and continue what his doing.

You decide to grab the ingredients you're gonna need, you'll make Brownies, your favorite, since it's only 11:00PM, you can finish this.

Finding where the flour is, you found it above the counter, making you frown. You tried reaching it, but it was really high, you're too focused on getting the flour to notice that there is a person behind you, which is really close.

“do you need a little help?” Dong Wook/s deep voice let out, making you turn around, only to bump into his chest, which takes you long to process.

Looking up with a doe eyes, you smiled, nodding, “yes please ” you replied. He suddenly raised his brows, making you notice that there is only a single inch between your faces because he came downwards..

Your eyes widened, when he leaned to give your lips a peck.

“they won't notice that we are almost fucking, they won't.. plus I turned off the cameras.. just for you”

“we barely know each other.”

“so?..”

“we can't--” you got cut off when he smashed his lips into your own, making you stop taking.

Ok I'm tired I'll continue this tomorrow.

Plus this is fanfiction, you know it will have alot of chapters.

And tomorrow the continuation will be smut.

Don't worry, every man in this fic will have sex with you.

[shurisgf]

SWEETTOOTH — L. SEOKMIN ✩

ೃ⁀➷ SUMMARY; headcanons , in which this is how i think dk is as a boyfriend. | FEAT. Lee Seokmin x POC!fem!reader | TROPE established relationship | FORMAT oneshot | GENRE fluffy , slightly suggestive | WARNINGS none | NOTES dk my beloved

✩ absolute biggest sweetheart , will do anything to make you smile

you — “having a bad day. miss u lots <3”

dk my baby <3 — “hi lovely!!! check your door!”

without hesitation you walked over to the front door of your apartment. upon opening the door you found the most beautiful bouquet of flowers you’d ever seen, the sight alone almost bringing you to tears because of how sweet your boyfriend is. picking up the flowers, you carefully walked back inside and placed the vase on your kitchen island, examining the note left inside the flowers.

“rough days are apart of life, but i’ll always be right here to guide you through. - xoxo, dk ♡”

you immediately grabbed your phone with tears in your eyes to text dokyeom back.

you — baby 🥹🥹🥹

you — these flowers are beautiful, i love you so much

you — thank you my love <333

dk my baby <3 — of course my love!! i love you more!! i made a reservation at your favorite restaurant, pick you up at 7?

you — baby omg

you — of course <3 see you at 7

✩ will always share his food with you no matter how hungry he is

you’ve seen this tiktok trend going around that you wanted to try on seokmin. it was the trend where you’d only put a little food on your plate and give your significant other more food than you then tell them ‘we ran out of food but it’s okay’ to see how’d they react.

and you just HAD to try this on dokyeom.

you’d made his favorite food tonight, and gave him a healthy serving, making sure to leave yourself only a little. when you brought the plates over to the dining table seokmin immediately took notice of your much smaller food portion. you sat the plates down and walked back into the kitchen to grab some glasses of water when you heard him speak up.

“my love?” his soft voice projected into the kitchen.

“mhm?” you hummed, filling up the glasses with ice and water.

“why’s your portion so small?” he questioned, his voice full of concern as you walked back to the table, glasses in hand.

placing down the glasses and taking your seat at the table beside your boyfriend you spoke up.

“we only had enough ingredients to make a decent amount of bibimbap baby, i figured i’d give you more because you tend to eat more than i do.” you explained, looking into his eyes. his face slowly changed into a frown before you spoke up again, “it’s okay, really, i’m not that hungry anyways,” you hummed, looking away from him to pick up your fork and start eating the rice bowls you made. dokyeom wasted no time in giving you some of his food, despite you trying to protest.

“no, no, no baby, you need to eat too,” he mumbled.

✩ loves to sing you to sleep

“beautiful girls, all over the world” dokyeom sung quietly as he traced small circles on your back as you laid on top of him, your head resting just in the crook of his neck as he placed kisses to your forehead.

“i could be chasin’, but my time would be wasted,” he hummed, looking at your fondly as his hands switched from drawing small shapes to caressing you softly, coaxing you to sleep.

“they got nothin’ on you baby,” you couldn’t explain it but the way seokmin would sing to you softly always lulled you to sleep. maybe it was the soft tone of his voice or the way his hands conforted you as you slept, but whenever he sang to you it felt like all of your problems melted away and it was just the two of you in this big world. dokyeom pressed more kisses to your temple before sleeping himself.

✩ is always talking about you in the sweetest most endearing ways

“i don’t know what i would do without you my baby,” he hummed as you were asleep on the other side of the phone. he was currently thousands of miles away on tour, and unfortunately you’d been unable to go so the two of you had been falling asleep on facetime for the last few weeks.

“thank you for choosing to love me, i promise i wont let you down my sweet girl,” he spoke softly in the speakers, before falling asleep himself.

✩ will definitely take pictures of you on facetime and gives you many many compliments

*dk my baby <3 took a live photo*

“you’re so beautiful”

*dk my baby <3 took a live photo*

“can’t believe you’re mine”

*dk my baby <3 took a live photo*

“my beautiful girl”

©2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — SHURI'S GF. Do not modify, repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any work posted on this blog without my permission !

reblogs greatly appreciated !

[wannaeatramyeon]

Gun Park x Reader: this is our place (we make the rules)

Chapter 5 - Probably should read ch1 first

Gun has a new neighbour. Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Epilogue

You are this close. This close to having a breakdown.

Who the hell flirts and says ‘are you hungry for food or something else,’ and invites you in for actual food. 

And, you think as you consider jamming the chopsticks into your eyes, why the hell did you follow him into his home. Do you have no sense of propriety especially after what an asshole Gun has been?

Are you so overcome with horniness that you abandon all standards?

Yeah Gun Park might be hot. Maybe even the hottest thing you have ever seen. 

Too bad he is rotten. A- a… 

Douche, your brain offers and you slump at the impact of the word, like a bang that just fizzles out, missing the mark. You were hoping for the most aggressive curses known to man. But yeah. He is a douche. A douchebag. 

Who the hell has black eyes. Who wears sunglasses indoors. Who does he think he is.

You know what? Fuck it. 

You will not be intimidated by his home. All clean lines and pretentious.

Clearly lacking a personality, just like him.

If he has invited you for food. You will eat. You will eat him out of house and home and gorge yourself until your stomach bursts.

With gusto, you tuck into the food laid out before you. Just about enough for two people if they had small appetites.

Douche. You swallow down a mouthful of bibimbap.

Douchebag. And inhale the pickled radish.

Asshole. You take a swig of the sharing bottle of Coca Cola. 

.

.

By the time that Gun comes out, he’s staring at a few stray clumps of rice.

“Hungry?”

“Starving,” you give him the biggest grin you can. Ha, that’ll teach him.

With a shrug, he takes out his phone, taps a few more times then tucks it away into his pocket.

“More food is on the way.”

Oh. Your grin turns into a grimace, “...Thanks.”

.

.

Waiting for the next food delivery is painful.

The minutes slog by. Seems to slow down even more when Gun takes a seat at the dining table opposite you. Observing you with those sharp black eyes.

Gun doesn’t speak.

He hardly finds that he needs to in most situations, preferring to let the silence settle and permeate. Grow uncomfortable until fools find the need to fill it. Spilling more than they intended.

“So,” you lean back into your seat and cross your arms, “Gun Park?”

“...”

“That’s your name, right?”

“Yes.”

“Gun Park,” you repeat again, testing the way the words sound on your tongue. Huh. It’s not as repulsive as you thought it would be.

“Y/N,” he says, and you jolt at the fact he knows who you are.

“How do you know?”

“I looked up who you are,” He says casually, like everyone just looks up random people, “I was curious.”

Oh yeah. Sure, that explains it. 

“What did you find?”

Gun rattles off statements about you. Reduces your life down to a few lines and facts and dates. Punctuates it with, “That was all the PI could find.”

“Private investigator?” You hear your voice getting higher with each syllable. The ‘-tor’ is shrill.

“...”

“You said you looked me up! I thought you meant on social or something! AISH!” You flop back into your seat and click your tongue at Gun, who seems tickled at your reaction.

Seriously. Who is this guy anyway. This sounds like some rich Chaebol shit, which… tracks. 

You glance around at his clothes, his stinking rich aura, the apartment that would be described as minimalist and never sparse or empty.

“Y/N.” Gun says again, this time he’s the one that’s testing out your name. He thinks of your furious eyes, the foot jammed between the door, all the times you flipped him off and finds he can’t help accompanying it with a small smile.

Oh.

All your anger and exasperation evaporates with that smile. Not a smirk, not mocking. 

His face lights up and transforms. Eyes crinkling slightly at the corners, a ghost of a dimple on his cheeks. It takes years off him, looking more boyish.

Damn, he is handsome.

.

.

Gun finds out very little else about you. 

At least, nothing that answers what he wanted to know.

As he eats, you ramble something about college and your family and friends. Moan about your sink. Talk a little about how odd it is to have money. To buy what you want but you still can’t bring yourself too.

He finds he doesn’t mind your words. Voice pleasing and warm, seeping into his skin.

And as you grow comfortable, gesticulating and body growing easy - Gun can’t recall ever having shared a meal with someone in his home. 

Can’t recall sitting with someone else in their company like this.

.

.

Silence settles, this time amenable, almost pleasant. Any annoyance long expired.

You notice the kitchen stove is spotless to the point of unused.

“Have you even used that?”

“Never.”

“So you just order takeout all the time?”

“When I’m home, yes.”

“You can’t cook?”

“I prefer spending my time doing other things.”

“Like what?”

Gun gives you another smile, this time teasing.

Your breath catches in your throat and your stupid traitorous heart pounds.

.

.

Over the weeks, as you cook you find the portion sizes growing infinitesimally.

It gets to the point that there’s enough for another portion left over and then some.

Huh. Will you fancy that.

.

.

The most difficult thing is getting Gun to thaw.

Because once he thaws and warms to you, he himself melts into a puddle surprisingly quickly.

Getting past those walls? Worming your way under his skin and finding a heart there? Nigh on impossible.

Actually statistically impossible, never been done before.

Saying that. He's never had such a constant, harmless presence in his life before too.

Someone that doesn't want anything from him or expect anything either. Doesn't know who he is, and accepts what they see.

There is no exchange of power. Barely even any exchange of words.

Gun finds with you, there's no ulterior motive.

If there's never any danger in the first place, then the walls don't need to be built as high.

.

.

Each time you see him, he's a little less frosty. The curt nod developing into a ‘Morning’ or ‘Evening’. Or when he’s in a particular good mood - ‘Hello’.

You continue flipping him off on the odd occasion and he stills the gesture, not used to the disrespect. (Who would even dare to do that to Gun Park especially if they want to keep their finger.)

Then he huffs, a tiny and subtle exhale and the briefest quirk of the lips. But it's there.

And so. You build up your confidence.

.

.

“Here,” you hold out a tupperware to Gun that he receives with thanks and little rebuttal.

By the next morning, or a few days after that, you always get your container back. Left on your doorstep with a sticky note and a messy scrawl.

‘thanks’

‘this was good’

‘more salt’

‘i dont like cilantro’

‘you should make this again’

‘too much garlic’

Even the criticism perks on your day. 

It becomes something you look forward to each morning. You keep the notes, hiding them away in a drawer.

The handwriting that initially is almost illegible you can now read with ease.

[moony-ghoul]

ghouls go to breakfast hcs:

dew: dew gets nauseous if he eats too early in the morning so he usually will just have coffee while the others eat, despite this he always helps first thing in the morning when it comes to making breakfast, swiss cuts him up some fruit after they clean up and he’ll snack on that before lunch. he has his coffee w oat milk and pretends like he doesn’t want any sugar but will scoop about 4 tablespoons in after the first sip

rain: he’s not the biggest fan of ‘traditional’ breakfast foods, he loves bibimbap, rice w a shit ton of lil side plates to add in? he goes crazy. however rain loves a good sleep in and doesn’t like having to wait for the rice to cook AND cut up veggies AND fry eggs, luckily there’s a lil fire ghoul who’s love language is acts of service who will make sure all of rains side plates are ready for him the moment he wakes up. after breakfast he likes to sit outside w his herbal tea and a good book, he’s not 100% sure what the tea is but mount said it’s good for digestion

phantom: complete opposite of dew. this mf needs food in their mouth as soon as they open their eyes or they will die (they won’t). thankfully much like rain has dew, ant has swiss who wakes up at a ridiculous time and makes sure his lil bat has a 3 course meal to wake up to. ant eats a lot and they eat fast, they’ll have something that resembles a full english breakfast and a bowl of cereal and fruit and whatever left overs the others don’t want. nobody knows how that ghoul can possibly fit so much food in them and absolutely no one is shocked when they’re curled on the couch 30 minutes later complaining about a stomach ache before having their post breakfast nap

swiss: swiss is easy when it comes to breakfast, he’s typically cooking most of everyone else’s so he makes a plate w a lil bit of everyone else’s food. he will have at least three different kinds of eggs tho usually one fried, one scrambled and an omelet (“gotta have protein for the gainz”). he switches up between tea and coffee depending on his mood but he always drinks it straight no milk no sweetener “i’m sweet enough”

mount: mount much like dew and swiss is one of the dens chefs. he doesn’t touch any of the meat tho the texture causes him problems so that’s left to dew and swiss, mount is a master at omelettes tho he has a secret cheese dealer and always has the most amazing cheese that compliment the rest of the omelet perfectly, along w his home grown veggies and herbs. the abbey does have a few chickens that mount will help care for but that’s mostly up to zeph. every morning he starts off w one of his homemade teas he’s got a cupboard full of different mixes of herbs that he’ll switch between depending on what the day has in store

cumulus: forever mounts princess cumulus tends to wake up to a beautiful steaming mug of chamomile tea in bed, she enjoys it while she spends time freshening herself up for the day (washing her face, taking off her silk cap and fixing her hair up). by the time she wanders into the kitchen mount always has her fav of his omelettes ready, ricotta and spinach with a side of sliced up strawberries. he quite literally has it ready on a silver platter for her

cirrus: cirrus is basically half alive in the morning until she has at least 2 mugs of close to boiling black coffee. she goes absolutely ham on the sausages, heat does not effect her so she’ll grab them straight out of the pan while swiss is still cooking them, if they’re still raw in the middle she honestly prefers it. she might snack on some pineapple if she’s feeling peckish but for the most part her mornings start off w a plate full of pork (bacon and sausage)

aurora: if you wake up aurora before she’s done having her beauty sleep all hell will break loose. she’s usually the last one up and is also one of swiss’ morning princesses. she sits at the head of the table every morning and swiss brings her a bowl of yogurt, granola (ofc made by mount) and berries. he would not dare forget to serve it with a kiss

this post is inspired by this one from @iamthecomet

[candywife333]

You Can Have Him

Summary: I am having Jungkook's baby. That's right bitches, you heard me right. We had a one night stand and now I am going to make him pay in cash and chocolate doughnuts-- currency of the gods. No emotions, just mucho dinero. That's the motto for today. There's no way he can fall in love with a virtual freeloader right? Let's all pray that he doesn't for my sake and yours.

chubby reader x idol (loaded) jungkook

Disclaimer: This character of Jungkook is not a representation of the real life Jungkook. Keep in mind this is all fiction.

Mini- series

(haven't decided on how many parts. I guess however many it takes me to get my thoughts across)

PART 2 of Only Here for Food

You know when your bladder just can't hold in the piss and it has to empty itself under just about any circumstance? Well that was me right now, as I sauntered into HYBE. I used the wonderful bathroom on the first floor and with a jolly grin on my face went to the cafe. Their desserts were simply exquisite. "One new york classic cheese cake with a boba tea please". I clapped my hands , giggling in glee as I saw all the other options I couldn't wait to try every time I visited the HYBE building.

I took my aesthetic picture of the desserts as the employee who handed me the food smiled at me. Happiness is contagious, just like the plague and that is the best part about it. Trudging over to the BTS waiting room , I saw my favorite super squishy couch and sat on it, ready to eat my dessert and some bibimbap with pork belly I had made for lunch today.

I kept all my food on the table, having brought an abundant amount for the guys as well. They may like it, and if they didn't I had so many neighbors I could just distribute the food to. I dove into the bibimbap, moaning as the flavors hit my tastebuds. This is truly what I lived for, fatty oily sweet and savory rice loaded with greasy meat, spiced vegetables, and fried egg. Taehyung walked in, clearly surprised at what I had brought and my presence. "Hey Y/N , what are you doing here? Jungkook is in the recording room".

I smiled, "Oh, I didn't come for Jungkook necessarily. I was just going to give him papers that my lawyer drew up in case I saw him around the building. I actually just came here to eat and brought some food with me in case you guys wanted to try any. Made it all early this morning after my mommy pilates class". I chewed loudly with fervor, "Why don't you also try some food? I made bibimbap, japchae with tiger shrimp, fish cake stew with sausages, and kimbap. It's all home made".

Taehyung reluctantly took his first bite, and then it was game over. He sat there eating the food with me as I showed him reruns of different series I was watching. I showed him how I was midway through death note and my plans to dress up as a Shinigami this halloween. I was also knitting a shinigami inspired scarf with apples laced all throughout. He chuckled and laughed with me.

The rest of the guys filtered in, behooved to see Taehyung get along so well with Y/N. They saw the abundance of food, and Jin was the first to serve himself a plate, exclaiming and gesticulating ,"So good Y/N, so good, you are truly a goddess. I was just missing home made food so much". The rest of the guys also decided to chow down, trying to steal the cheesecake from Y/n as she was slowly eating it, attempting to prolong the experience.

Jungkook walked in, sweaty and tired from recording his new track for a feature when he saw Y/n. His face contorted into disgust. What the hell was this girl doing here again? Wasn't setting up a child support plan after his unfortunately positive paternity test enough for her?

He loudly stomped in the room, slapping his doc martens against the ground. Y/N heard the noise and looked up to see him. "Hi JK, want to try some food? I just made it this morning. Took me two hours, but I wanted to bring a treat for all of you just in case. Was supposed to go on a picnic today with my boy toys but I thought I would feed you guys instead". Jungkook nodded his head with pure defiance and rage, till a singular word filtered through his brain, boy toys?!?!! He shrieked in a fury, "What the hell do you mean by boy toy women? What type of males are you frolicking with? Are you getting run through by every damn male out there?"

Y/N weakly smiled, "I mean, I wish I had the braveness to cavort with every handsome man I met. But I am just too scared of STDs you know. Trust me on this though JK, if STDs never existed, I would fuck my way through an entire fraternity. I have the stamina of a stallion". She proceeded to imitate a neighing of a horse, as the boys all tried not to choke, aspirate, and die on their food.

Y/n continued, "I just came here to talk to you about honoring the part of our agreement that talks about baby time twice a week. Twice a week I will be here so we can have our baby interaction time , so as a dad you can be close to the baby". Jungkook was ready to rip all his hair out of his head. What the hell was she talking about? Then he remembered the part of the contract which stipulated that he was supposed to meet her twice a week to interact with the baby as it was in the womb and for one year post partum.

"Just let me know once you are ready, and we will go into a private room so you can touch the baby directly-- you know skin to skin contact and all". The boys tried to not laugh openly at Jungkook as he stared at y/N horrified of her request. They all filtered out immediately. Namjoon stated somberly, "Jungkook you can use this room with Y/N, I will close the door so you and her can have private time with the Baby".

Jungkook timidly walked over to Y/n and sat next to her. She emanated the scent of fresh laundry and coconuts, very appealing and nothing that he had ever smelled on any of the girls he usually bedded. Y/n lifted up her dress and Jungkook was shell shocked to see red lacy panties stretched down due to a surprisingly round baby bump the size of a small melon. Her thighs were thick and glistening with moisture . He almost had the urge to bite her thighs. Wait, what the fuck, where was this thought coming from?!

Y/N lifted one eyebrow, "Aren't you going to touch the baby? Don't be scared by my pussy, don't worry, it won't bite. It will maintain its distance, it is well trained and domesticated". Jungkook's hands slightly trembled as he placed both of them on either side of her stomach. He felt the warmth of her silky skin radiating through his hands, as an unwarranted image of Y/N with his cum stuffed up her pussy and his cum sprayed all over her pregnant stomach ambushed him. He jolted away, hands moving away due to the sudden unbidden thought invading his mind, infiltrating his brain.

He asked softly with concern, "Is this normal for your stomach to be this big for two months?" Y/N cooly replied, "They are actually twins. I am preparing cribs and clothes for them. Double the work actually, but I can't wait". She giggled, nose scrunching up and mirth in her eyes. Jungkook saw how beautiful she was, for the first time since he consciously met her.

Y/N squealed out, "Ok now Mr Jungkook. Hands off the goodies. Visitation hours are over". She flipped down her dress as Jungkook now couldn't get the image of her ripe swollen stomach and panties out of his mind. She clouded his thoughts so quickly, no wonder he got her pregnant he mused to himself.

The members came back in as Y/N stared at her phone, watching death note on youtube with Jimin who snuggled up next to her. Jungkook felt a flash of envy thunder through his body as he saw the mother of his kids so close to Jimin. He shouldn't feel this way, but he did. A model named Jin Hee, from one of their previous photo shoots came over to Jungkook and sidled up to him.

Jin Hee held on to Jungkook's arm and started talking to him, flirting with him, as Y/N watched the scene unravel from the corner of her eye. She had great peripheral vision, took her vitamin A and carrot intake very seriously, thank you very much. As Jungkook sat down now, Jin Hee sat so close to him, she might as well be on his lap. Jin Hee was clearly trying to prod Y/N to breaking since the news had spread quickly about Jungkook's baby momma. Everybody knew who Y/N was in the HYBE building.

Jin Hee, a stereotypically thin model had been vying for Jungkook's attention for the longest time. She did not want to lose to a fat pregnant non celebrity baby momma. Y/N calmly put her phone down next to her, to the confusion of Jimin. In a calm voice that could slice a human's flesh with its sharpness, she drawled out firmly, eyes facing Jin Hee, "You can have him you know. I don't fight over community dick. If you want him, you can have him. You clinging to him like a baby koala is making you look desperate. I am not jealous of you in the least. My eyes are on a different prize, and Jungkook is not it. I eat leftovers usually, but if Jungkook was a left over, I would throw him in the trash".

[jilixthinker]

embryos

PART 1 PART 2

pairing: felix × jisung

genre: angst, supernatural, smut

summary: "purity. those who possess it can have the access. it's like a key. only the pure souls who die in your world can enter in mine. the only requirement is a body. flesh in exchange for the eternal sun".

word count: 5.8K (in part 2)

content warning: depression, death, mentions of suicide, pain and sufference, parallel universes, smut, jisung and felix are so in love it hurts, eventual happy ending

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

“Jisung”.

Jisung hears a familiar voice calling him. Jisung? Was that the right name? His ears do not react. Another low sounding voice echoes around him.

“Jisung. Once is fine. Twice is too much for anyone”.

Something touches his face and, no, this is definitely déjà vu. In a split second a sequence of speed motion images run through his mind. Morning, coffee, car, crash, hospital, bed, car, house, shower, bathroom, mirror, hand. When he opens his eyes he expects to be looking at that boy with a comforting smile but, instead, he is lying on the couch in his living room, his legs obscenely open, considering that he is still naked. Standing in front of him he can see Chan and Minho, who have a unquestionbly unnatural complexion.

“I hate you, okay? You need to stop killing us every twenty minutes because I don't know how much more my heart will hold up. What the fuck were you doing lying on the bathroom floor? Thank God I have the keys to your house, or I would have had to call the fire department-.

Chan is as frantic as he’s ever saw him, his breath short and his eyes literally out of his frame. He is clutching his wrist a while Minho, beside him, looks at him wearily.

“I think I slipped while drying my hair”.

Jisung's voice is really a mess. He stutters out that sentence with every syllable and he messily tries to sit up, not without Chan supporting him from the back.

“Fantastic. Now you can't even survive half a day? God, why?”

Chan brings both hands to his face and shakes his head weakly.

“I'm sorry. I really am”.

Minho strokes his boyfriends’s back and barely smiles at Jisung.

“You don't have to feel sorry for us, you have to feel sorry for yourself. You fainted because you had nothing in your stomach, so now do me, you, us, and humanity a favor. Eat”.

From a bag he hadn't even seen, Chan pulls out an aluminum container with bibimbap and one with bulgogi. The food smells delicious and Jisung does not realize how hungry he is until he has two chopsticks in his hand and starts eating. He devours the food within minutes, feeling the gaze of the two friends on him. Chan occasionally massages his shoulder muscles while Minho picks up grains of rice escaping from the chopsticks.

“Jisung, you need to eat regularly“.

“I'm going to buy something at the supermarket tonight”.

Chan crosses his thighs on the sofa and points to three bags full of food at the foot of the sofa.

“We went grocery shopping before we came to you. I don't like the idea of you going out alone”.

“Chan, I am really glad, from the bottom of my heart, but you can't live depending on me”.

Chan is about to answer back and Jisung shakes his hands in front of his face. “No, wait, listen to me. Tonight you and Minho will go out for dinner and then to the movies or, I don't know, whatever you would do if nothing had happened. Take it as a personal favor, okay? I can't stand to see you so distressed”.

Minho on the other side of the couch nods and smiles at Jisung, then winks at him.

“He's been a pain in the ass lately, you know? All he does is talking about you. Jisung, Jisung, Jisung. If I didn't know better I'd think he has a crush on you. But I swear I'll find a way to shut his mouth”.

Jisung chokes on the bulgogi and starts spitting bits of meat all over the couch.

“God, no, please. I don't want to know the details. Spare me”.

Chan tries to fight a smile while Minho, on the other hand, bursts into a silvery laugh. Jisung looks at them and thinks they are adorable, even though sometimes he hates them. But at the end it's always been what works for them.

Two hours and endless recommendations later, Jisung closes the front door and slumps against it. He puts his hand on his chest and feels its heart drumming loudly against his ribs, like a bird in a cage. The smell of bulgogi still hovers in the kitchen and in the living room, and the sky outside the window is gray, clouds swollen with rain. Jisung walks away from the hall, heading to the bathroom. He doesn't even want to go back into that room, he has no idea why his legs are heading there.

Once he enters in the bathroom he notices that the smell of humidity has completely disappeared - Chan opened the window - and the puddles of water on the floor have evaporated.

“Are you still here?”

The words vibrate up his throat and Jisung feels like an immense coward because he is not even looking in the right direction. His eyes are fixed on the tiles.

“I told you before. I have always been here”.

The voice answers his question, soft and gentle.

That is the exact moment Jisung starts to think that he has really gone crazy. So this is what it feels like to hit rock bottom. He turns with a movement that costs him inhuman effort and faces his mirror. There, clear as a spring day, the stranger's face stands vibrant as before. Like a few hours earlier he smiles sweetly, just with his lips. Jisung thinks he must smell like the Sun, even though the Sun has no scent. It is perfect, and all that perfection makes him feel safe instead of intimidating him.

“So why haven't I seen you before?” he asks, his voice is barely a whisper.

The stranger takes a step forward. Jisung doesn’t know where, since he is behind a mirror, but he knows he does it because now his face is closer.

“It's because of the accident. It did reset he rational sphere of your brain".

As he speaks, Jisung can see small white teeth inside the stranger’s mouth. He looks so alive, so close, so real.

“Are you a ghost?”

He shakes his head and blonde hair swing on his head. A strand escapes from behind his ears and slips over his eyes.

“I am a future memory”.

Jisung moves closer to the mirror until his pelvis slams against the sink. The boy in front of him does not move away. He remains motionless, looking at him. He has a face he cannot classify. He has simple, thin, almost ephebic features. Childlike features that could go unnoticed when placed next to millions of other faces. But then he looks at his red plush lips curved into a sweet smile and big eyes that study him with a calmness he does not possess, and Jisung is certain that he would never forget a face like that.

“Are you real?”

“Reality is what you see”.

“Can you only give me enigmatic answers?”

The stranger puffs out a sound which is similar to a laughter, and in Jisung's head it resonates like millions of tiny bells trilling all at once.

“As long as your questions are. You can try asking me something simpler though”.

The boy crosses his arms against his chest, accommodating. His shoulders are tiny. Jisung imagines he could fly away with a breath of wind.

“Do you have a name?”

He nods, slow and graceful. As if he is weighing every word so that nothing is left to chance.

“Felix”.

He has a simple name, he thinks, it must be real. It has to be.

“Jisung”.

“I know”.

Jisung closes his eyes and rests his hands on the edge of the sink to keep himself from slipping on the floor.

“Do you know who I am?"

“No, we have never met. But I know your name”.

“How?”

“That's just something I know. Like the phases of the moon and the name of the oceans. Maybe I've always known it”.

Felix takes another step forward, into the middle of nowhere, and his forehead almost touches the cold, reflective surface. Jisung breathes heavy and slow as he watches the other rest his fingers beside him against the mirror.

“Where did you come from?”

“I don't know if you would believe me”.

“Please” he murmurs heartily “I'm just trying to understand. If there was something I was sure of, it was that I wasn't crazy. Then this morning I walk into my bathroom and behind the mirror I find you. You saying you don't know me but still you know my name, saying you've always been here while I've never seen you. And now I don't know if I'm crazy or not. Maybe I'm talking to myself, maybe I'm dreaming or maybe it's real. The fact is that I had a certainty, and now I have none. The least I can do is trying to find a sense to this”.

Felix’s reflection moves away from the mirror and looks deep into it, as if he was searching for something he had lost, something he knew he can find somewhere in between Jisung’s eyes.

Something important.

“Felix?”

He utters that name and Jisung’s body is invaded by small electric shocks that start from the tips of his toes and radiate down the column of his back, straight to his forehead. Whatever Felix is looking for seems to be a long way from being found.

“Have you ever heard of the alternative reality theory?”

Jisung nods, confused. “Vaguely”.

“An alternative reality is a separate and distinct dimension, which coexists with the earthly one. It can be identified with a space-time continuum. Basically, everything you can perceive around you, every smallest particle of matter, it’s present in equal form and measure in a parallel dimension. The two realities are superimposed on each other, occupying the same space and time. It is a perfect and unstoppable circle”.

The concepts that flow from Felix's lips are distant, intangible, complex. Jisung presses his fingertips against his temples, trying to assimilate as much information as possible.

“Metaphysics managed to explain every single, small, tiny detail. Except for one. It has failed to provide a reason. And it's funny when you think about it, isn't it? It answered all the thorniest questions, all the most difficult complications but not the simplest one”.

Felix lifts his gaze and Jisung feels stripped of any foothold, feels himself floating in the void, adrift.

“A choice. My world offers a second chance to those who could not survive the cruelty of yours. But this world does not test, does not lay snares. This world is the right world. Without pain, anger, envy, rejection. Only love”.

Jisung tries to imagine this world. He doesn't even need to close his eyes to make it palpable. He sees Felix's face reflecting bright sunlight as he rests on a green English lawn, tiny daisies in his hair and a few ladybugs on the fabric of his pants.

“You come from there”.

Felix smiles again. The room regains its brightness.

“I come from there. Or from here. It is relative. Now you are able to perceive the overlap of spaces”.

Jisung reaches out a hand toward the glass but stops a few inches away, as if frightened by what might ensue upon contact. Felix is close, he can outline with his mind the shape of his lips.

“But I see you”.

Felix is a little lost in his smile. Jisung, on the other hand, is lost in his deep gaze.

“I know. It's absurd, I recognize that. But I assure you it's strange even for me”.

“No”. Jisung shakes his head and feels something from the marrow rising to the surface, radiating within his veins like an endless lava flow.

“No”, he continues. “No. I see you. I see you”.

He leans infinitesimally forward and touches with his fingers the spot where Felix, on the other side of the mirror and on the other side of the universe, is resting his clear fingertips. He should feel a calm, safe warmth and waves pouring their foam onto the rocks. Instead he just feels cold.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

Jisung does not go back to university. Chan keeps calling him, first with gentleness and compassion, but now he is just tired. Minho is a shadow of his boyfriend, nothing more. The phone keeps ringing, Jisung keeps not answering. Reality begins to get blurrier day by day. Chan persists in leaving lunch in front of Jisung’s door almost every day but the bags remain intact because the door is no longer opened. Then, one day, the bags vanish, just as the phone stops ringing. Jisung doesn’t even notice because he cannot even describe his own face anymore, let alone remember having had friends. Or maybe the memories linger somewhere, buried deep in a remote, hazy corner of his unconscious, but no one goes into it. Thus Jisung's old life is covered by layers and layers of thin, opaque dust. He buries Chan, Minho, his parents, his brother, the accident. It buries Jisung and everything he had before. The only figure that seems to stand out is the thin, sharp figure of Felix, which is practically a paradox because Jisung is not even sure that Felix exists. But whether he exists or not, he is there. He is there, day and night, watching him. He watches him even though Jisung is not in the room. He does not know how he does it, he does not even know if it is really possible. But he knows he does, because he feels his eyes everywhere he goes. They talk for the longest time. Sometimes they use words, sometimes they talk to each other in silence. Jisung thought it was a movie invention, but he realizes how crucial this little snippet of everyday life has become to him. He wonders about the meaning of the thousands of mundane actions he performs every day without even thinking about it.

The fact is that Jisung is opal. He knows it. He knows it as he has always known that he cannot be a star but only a small black dwarf. And he accepts it, because it can only be so. But Felix is a red giant at its best. Felix speaks, and the continuum of all possible worlds stops, leaving room only for a chasm. Felix shines without anything overshadowing him. And maybe that’s Jisung who is a reflection in the mirror, because if there is anything he feels able to swear to without any fear, it is that Felix is indeed, infinitely, diamond.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

“How is the rain like?”

Jisung is sitting with messy legs while holding a cup of lukewarm coffee. Felix, on the other side of the mirror, looks at him waiting for his answer.

“Sad. As if the sky is too tired to continue to shine, then little tears fall down on the Earth”.

Felix laughs with his lean shoulders shaking as his eyes close in two perfect crescents.

“You are being melodramatic”.

Jisung takes a sip of coffee as he carefully follows Felix’s movements in front of him. He watches his shirt curl over his soft hips and lingers on the edge that leaves a few inches of white skin exposed.

“Doesn't it rain there?”

Felix, as is his habit, shakes his head, letting thin strands of long hair fall across his forehead.

“Just sunshine”.

“Always?”.

“Always”.

Seoul has not seen the sun for weeks, but it seems it’s been years. A thick blanket of clouds covers all the blue, turning it into a deep leaden gray.

“You never saw the rain?”

“I have seen it in your world”.

Jisung stops drinking and stares at Felix's tight lips.

“Have you been in my world?”

“I lived there for a long part of my existence”.

“I thought you were born there”.

“No one was born here”.

Jisung pictures a wide-eyed Felix facing a suffering horizon polluted by mankind's cruelty. A tiny hand gripping the air as if to grasp something.

“How?”

Felix bites his mouth and catches the pout between small teeth. Thin fingers reboot his hair.

“Purity. Those who possess it can have the access. It is like a key. Only the pure souls who die in your world can enter in mine. The only requirement is a body. Flesh in exchange for the eternal sun”.

“You have faced death”. Jisung lets the words flow. “You, who are so much closer to life than I have ever been. You died. Why?”

Felix understands and smiles light as a feather.

“I was fragile, Jisung. I could no longer exist in that circle of evil where I had grown up. It was too much, and I was tired”

Jisung rests his forearms on the shelf and cannot understand whether he blames or thanks the other's cruel fate.

“What are you now?”

“I am just Felix. There is a mirror between these worlds, that’s true, but I have not regretted for one second the decision I made. I have never been more alive than this-.

“Don't you ever wish to go back?”

Felix murmurs something that Jisung feels like a gust of wind.

“I have what I want now”.

And Jisung knows that, even though Felix looked away to observe something undefined behind the mirror, he is talking about him.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

It’s during a sleepless night when he discovers that Felix also has a diamond voice. Jisung drags himself to the bathroom and curls up in the chair in front of the mirror overlooking the other world. Felix begins to sing softly and slowly, so quietly that at first it almost sounds like he is whispering. It goes on for what must be hours and Jisung rests in silence without taking his eyes off his face. By the time Felix closes his lips it’s already dawn, faint beams of light penetrating through the window.

“Do you think that if I had met you earlier something would change?”

“I believe we were destined to meet exactly like this. I can't imagine anything different from what we have now”.

“But maybe...” Jisung begins with a nostalgic spark in his eyes, “maybe you would make a different decision. I can't help but thinking about how it would be if we met in college. What I would say to you if I met you in a park. What I would think if I walked into a coffee shop one day and saw you there, sitting in front of the window, waiting for your coffee".

Felix smiles and strokes the mirror with his fingertips, following the border of Jisung's face.

“You probably wouldn't even notice me”.

Jisung slides his gaze along the other man's slender figure. He observes the soft blonde hair with the texture of a cloud, the rosebuds of the mouth, the thin, delicate line of the jawline. He observes the small, elegant nose and the dark eyes contoured by long, thick lashes. His voice cracks.

“How could I not?”

“I never belonged to that world, Jisung. It rejected me. I was an inconvenient bacterium, just as you are. And I couldn't give you anything”.

Felix takes a deep breath and Jisung thinks he wants to sink into the absolute purity of his beauty.

“You would give me everything I need. As you do now”.

“I was the shadow of myself”.

“That would have been enough”.

“I'm sorry”.

“I'm the one who is sorry, for not finding you sooner”.

Then Jisung stands up, letting the blanket on his legs slide off and settle on the floor like a puddle.

“Felix”.

Felix looks at him fixedly and loudly, because he understands. He did it from the beginning, and the fact that he does not answer him only means that he knows. Jisung feels something, very close to his heart, expanding and starting to press against his chest to come out.

“I would like to kiss you”.

Then Felix closes his eyes. Jisung moves closer, weighing each step until he reaches the mirror. He caresses it, inwardly, with all the tenderness he is capable of. He imagines the strands of hair in his fingers, the warm, tender skin on his cheeks, imagines the parted lips trembling at his closeness and the small arms tensing as his hands touch them. Felix is beautiful, and he cries a salty tear that remains there, caught between his eyelashes, tiny and invisible. Then Jisung kisses him, ignoring the foreign and cold presence of the glass. He kisses him ignoring the fact that he is not physically with him. He kisses him ignoring all physical and natural laws. He kisses him simply because Felix must know that Jisung does not care who, what, where, or how he is, he kisses him because he feels that he was born for that purpose. Because it is right. Jisung kisses Felix, and Felix knows it. And when after years, centuries, and millennia he opens his eyes, Jisung finds nothing but a wonderful smile that tastes a little bit like the Sun.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

One day Jisung picks up his cell phone and realizes that he has missed more than forty calls from the same number. Chan's name stands out at the top of the message notifications and stands there to remind him of everything he was trying to forget. As he sits on the bed and lives again every moment of the incident, the phone decides to ring. Jisung throws it away and the cell phone gets stuck under his pillow, making him wonder if he can even decide not to answer it. By now Chan hates him, one more call will not change anything.

He finally grabs it and unlocks the screen.

“No”.

Jisung frowns. He hasn't spoken to anyone in weeks, but the other person is addressing him as if to continue an open conversation. Moreover, the voice he hears does not belong to either Chan or Minho, he is quite sure.

"No, what?”

The voice continues to speak, and now it is Minho's. Jisung closes his eyes and runs his hand over his forehead as if to gather all his frustration. He is about to respond. He opens his mouth, catches his breath, and

“Minho?”

The voice comes out strange, as if he said the name twice in overlapping. Jisung clears his throat and rubs his arms, starting to feel a strange sensation on his skin.

“No, your majesty the queen. I won't take a no as an answer from anyone, especially not from you”.

Minho is friendly joking, as if nothing had happened. Jisung immediately loses all the strength in his legs and collapses on the bed. This call happened already, he thinks. But he hopes it's a bad joke and he is about to yell at Minho to get over with all of this, because it's anything but funny.

But then he hears it. A plaintive snort, a little bit drawling and with a hint of sarcasm, familiar. He heard it a thousand times and would recognize it among billions of voices.

Because it belongs to him.

But Jisung didn’t open his mouth. He has stayed silent since the beginning of the call, and maybe he didn’t even called Minho’s name before. Then, he understands. He needs only a few more seconds of background noise and the snap of a kiss to be horribly sure of it.

“Jisung? Sorry, that animal took my phone from my hands while you were answering me”.

The phone slips from Jisung’s hand and falls to the floor. The screen probably breaks, but it doesn't matter. Jisung stands motionless for minutes as he realizes that he heard himself talking to Minho in a reality from weeks earlier.

A reality that no longer exists.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

“Are you happy?”

Felix curls his fingers against the mirror. Their hands are resting against each other. It’s something they do often since it’s the only expedient they have to feel close. And so they talk for hours with their fingers in contact, separated only by a thin layer of glass.

“Since you've been there, yes. I am happy”.

Jisung lifts the corners of his mouth in a small smile and wedges his lips where Felix's neck should be.

“Your world”, he resumes in a warm voice “It should be everything you want, shouldn't it? You should have been happy anyway. It's your second chance, the right one”.

“That’s true, everything here is love. But I am only offered a chance, not a certainty. As if I had a royal flush in poker but my hand was shaking too much to win”.

Jisung turns away from the reflected skin and runs the back of his hand along Felis’s soft profile.

“What are you missing?”

“A companion. I need my half to be complete. Someone to share my choice that brought me here. Someone who had my same bad luck and who watched me exist. Someone who lives for me. This is what I lack, and until I find it I will be forced to be the reflection of myself”.

Jisung reads an ancient melancholy in Felix's eyes, breaking against his irises like clear foam in the sea.

“I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to love you till the end of time”.

Felix rubs his nose against the mirror, where Jisung’s cheek is placed, and heat seems to expand through the material. Jisung brushes the warm skin with his fingertips.

“I cannot find a mate, Jisung. I already have you”.

And he says it with such extreme simplicity that it sounds like a concept already tried and known, as if read in an encyclopedia. Felix looks at him but does not wait for an answer. He knows it has been that way for Jisung from the first moment he saw him, or perhaps even before, when he was unaware of his existence and living as a shadow of himself.

“I would die for you”.

Jisung wonders if Felix can hear the sound of his heart falling in love with him.

You are already here. You just have to figure it out.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

One day Jisung wakes up and realizes that his body has different needs from his brain. He sits on the floor, crosses his legs, and begins to think about when was the last time he stepped outside of the house, the last time he bought something to eat, and wait, how long has it been since I've eaten? Without questioning Felix and, as if propelled by an alien force, he runs to the closet. When he slips the first leg of his pants on, his first thought is that someone has entered his room and replaced all his garments with larger ones. He looks at the label, checks the seams and pockets and, inside the back pocket, finds his lighter. In that moment he looks at his thighs and realizes how, by now, they have reached the circumference of what used to be his arms. Perhaps it has been more than two weeks since he has eaten. For a moment he is tempted to go back into the bathroom, look for Felix and stay together with him, as always. He sniffs the air and he’s almost sure he no longer remembers its smell. I need to breathe, Jisung thinks, I need to breathe and fast. He picks up a random jacket and throws it over his shoulders. Underneath he has a short-sleeved T-shirt that is surely too thin for the temperature outside, but Jisung pays it no mind.

When he closes the front door behind him he feels as if he is somehow betraying himself and also Felix, who stays behind the mirror in his bathroom waiting patiently for him. He shakes his head and it almost feels as a part of himself quickly detaching from his body, that part that Jisung has been consecrating to Felix for the longest time now.

He takes the stairs quickly, feverishly, almost as if an invisible shadow was following him. When he tightens his fingers around the handle of the armored exit door, he stops for a second. You can still go back, you can go upstairs and back to your happy place. He looks at his fingers, skeletal and gnarled, attached to his hand only by a miracle. Jisung laughs when he goes outside, and it's a hollow laugh. It is still raining outside. His steps are slow and without rhythm, his legs barely able to give him direction as he walks with his head down, the thin, annoying rain tapping the back of his head.

He is not lonely, Jisung. Loneliness is a familiar feeling for him, almost intimate and comforting, and it would only confirm his normality. But Jisung feels alienated, out of touch with the world as never before, and he almost regrets the calm and peaceful feeling of voluntary isolation with which he has learned to live and settle.

He smiles to himself as he whispers against the wet sidewalk. “I have nothing left, not even my contempt”.

He thinks about Felix's words, his stories and justifications so enigmatic and elusive that he doubts he could even have uttered them, and he is surprised at himself for simply accepting them as an irrefutable truth, without even considering the possibility that they might be a lie. But then again, why would Felix lie to him? Felix is pure, he is innocent, and he is a virgin diamond; he has given up the burden of life that rejected him as dross. Jisung, on the other hand, could be a liar, with his identity he hates more than it’s human to hate and the rejection and disgust he feels for his petty image.

“Maybe I am the one lying to Felix. Maybe I am the one not existing”.

This probability invests Jisung in the exact moment his words leave his mouth, and the possibility shakes him until he loses his bearings. Is it so? Is it the truth? Jisung tries to think about when Felix came into his life, how much time has passed since their first meeting, but he cannot remember whether it is days, weeks, or even months that separate him from that moment. The only thing he is sure of is that he was able to sense his presence only after the incident. Felix's explanation rings crystal clear in his memory: it's the accident's fault. It reset the rational sphere of your brain. Suddenly Jisung is shaken by a laugh so violent that it almost sounds like a retch of vomit. He arches his back and abandons his arms along his sides as his whole body shakes from the vibrations.

“Did it reset the rational sphere of your brain? It's you that it reset, Jisung. Oh, for fuck's sake”.

His joints stop working for a second, and Jisung finds himself on his knees, his body still shot through with inconstant shudders. And it’s borderline comical that he is laughing so hard that he is even crying, with tears misting his eyes and mingling with the rain on his cheeks, because what keeps him from stopping is the awareness of the terror that will assail him as soon as he comes to his senses, when what is making him laugh now will leave room only for his thoughts. Unexpectedly, everything suddenly makes sense: the incident, the mirror, Chan's phone call, everything. Jisung raises his face to the sky and drops of water angrily hit his eyes, without shame or qualms.

“I am dead, and this is my purgatory”

And now there should be silence. In books, the discovery of truth is always followed by a silence that is unforgiving and leaves no hope.

Jisung turns around, and finds himself completely alone in one of the busiest streets of Seoul. No cars bottled up in traffic sounding any horns, no buses stopping at any traffic lights, no pedestrians looking around before crossing the street. The rain now falls fiercely on the bare, cold asphalt, and Jisung realizes he did everything wrong.

Death would have been his redemption, but he never died. Jisung is alive at the expense of another person, like a parasite. And, above all, this is not his purgatory. A purgatory is promised to those with a hope of atonement. Jisung, on the other hand, is an opal, and as every opal he continually forgets his nature, always seeking a chance that life has denied him from birth, on principle. This thought flares up within him, but its light is dim and soon gives way to a stubborn, rumbling sound of footsteps.

When Jisung looks for the strength to get back up, he realizes that he is further away than ever from the truth, since the silence around him no longer exists, and the noise is only the last drop in the jar filled to the brim.

And that is when he sees it. First he is far away, and he does not understand how it is possible for the sound to reach him, but then the stomping of the sidewalk becomes familiar and also alien, and his puzzle of possibilities explodes like a giant red

or a diamond

and Jisung instead implodes like a black dwarf

or an opal

as his eyes are completely dry from tears, and the rain continues to fall as always, because everything has always happened that way, and he has never learned how to play this game. In fact, Jisung's mouth remains open, and perhaps if he believed in a God now he would pray. But the sky is heavy and spits out its indifference to him.

He doesn't even realize when the blood begins to run from his nose and the taste of iron wets his lips, because the footsteps are now only a few feet away from him and the bitter laughter comes rumbling back into his throat, making him cough.

It could be a hallucination or a dream, but the noise is real, as are the bony legs advancing in his direction. The white sweater clinging to an anemic body is also real, and so are blonde hair covering black eyes. And the most real thing of all is a face Jisung knows as florid and full, but which is only emaciated and wispy under a blanket of clouds that seem immensely wrong above him.

Jisung bleeds and laughs. Blood covers his teeth, and his lament remains dry inside his chest as he watches a Felix, not his Felix, but one he doesn’t know, walking past him without noticing him, in the real world.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

©️ jilixthinker, 2023. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.