#how to deal with exam stress and anxiety

[bigender-cowboy]

“Hey, why doesn’t Nico act normal-“

Nico has more problems to worry about than some little mean girls rip off. Nico has grades to worry about. Nico has to tell if one of his friends is lying to him or not, every day, every story. Nico has to worry if he has problems with sadism. Nico has to worry about possible problems with alcoholism in the future. Nico has to worry about his little siblings. Nico has problems like disassociation. Nico had depression. Nico has autism. Nico has friends moving, and after he only has two left near him.

Tell Nico, who has more problems then what’s listed, he has enough time to worry about his reputation. Go on, tell Nico his biggest problem is reputation.

Is that really what you want to tell him?

[1healthyayurveda]

How to Break the Cycle of Stress Eating During Exams

We all know how stressful exams can be, and for many of us, that stress can lead to a vicious cycle of stress eating. We turn to food as a way to cope with our anxiety, which only leads to more stress and unhealthy eating habits. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this article, we will explore effective strategies to help you break the cycle of stress eating during exams and promote a…

[etheraltides]

BENEATH THE NOISE ᯓᡣ𐭩

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x College!Reader

Summarize: It’s hard to deal with deception when you’ve given your best. Luckily, Rafe knows how to get to you.

Warning(s): self depreciation, a hint of anxiety.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the love in my works <3

The grade wasn’t supposed to define you. That’s what everyone says: “It’s just a number, not a measure of your worth.” But as you sit staring at the email on your screen, the words blur, letters and numbers melting together until you can only feel one thing: failure.

The exam’s grade - the one you poured sleepless nights, early mornings, and everything in between into – sits there in stark black and white, unchangeable, final. You can’t look away, even as the panic bubbles into shame and then into the familiar, relentless self-criticism. Even as the salty tears begin to blurry your vision.

“How could I have been so stupid?” you think, teeth pressing into your lower lip. “All those hours… wasted. What’s the point if this is the result?” The thoughts spiral faster, slipping away from you. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Maybe I’m just fooling myself. Everyone else makes it look so easy.”

With a shaky breath, you shut your laptop and curl up on your bed, tugging the blanket over yourself as if it could shield you from the whirlwind in your mind, from the world and those mocking numbers. You feel your phone buzz, but you ignore it. Then it buzzes again, and again. It’s Rafe, no doubt, checking in, but you can’t bring yourself to reply. You’re not in the mood for talking and pretending to be fine, or worse – the pity you know will be laced into his voice if he finds out how badly you did.

But Rafe isn’t one to be easily put off. He leaves message after message, each one laced with growing concern and slight irritation.

“Hey, baby. Just checking in. How’d the test go?”

A minute later, “Everything okay? Call me when you get this. You’re working me, baby.”

Another text, his humor slipping through: “I’m gonna assume you’re just taking a nap and ignoring the world like you usually do when you’re stressed.”

And then, finally, a call. You glance at the screen, seeing his name flash, but even though part of you aches to hear his voice, you can’t bring yourself to answer. Instead, you turn off the phone entirely, sinking further into the blanket cocoon, feeling more alone and defeated with every minute that ticks by.

Rafe spends the better part of an hour trying to reach you. First, it’s gentle check-ins, then some light teasing, then a note of worry threading through his texts. When all his messages stay stuck on “delivered” with no response, he throws on a jacket, grabs his car keys, and heads out the door. He’s had enough off of it.

The drive is a blur, his hands gripping the steering wheel as he runs through what he’ll say to you when he gets there. He’d scold you for being a brat and making him worry when all you had to do was type some goddamn words on your phone. It wasn’t so hard. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility of something actually happening to you.

By the time he arrives at your place, it’s late enough that the lights outside are dim, casting long shadows across the driveway. He knocks once, twice in your bedroom’s door once your mom lets him in.

“She’s been there for hours.” Your mom sighs, looking up at the stairs as she puts your untouched plate of dinner in the refrigerator. “The results of her exam came in and well… You know how hard she can be with herself.”

Rafe rubs hand on his neck, he had completely forgot that the result would be today and he knew how hard you’ve been studying.

He knocks on your door once and when there’s no answer, he gently turns the knob, letting himself in.

It’s quiet inside, save for the faint sound of your breathing as he steps into your room. He sees you there, huddled under the blankets, your back to the door, your shoulders slightly shaking. His heart clenches in pain and worry as you look so small hiding in the many blankets. Wordlessly, Rafe slips off his shoes, walking over to your bed. Without a word, he lifts the edge of the blanket and slides in beside you, his warmth immediately seeping through the layers of fabric that separate you.

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, letting his presence speak for itself. Slowly, he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his chest. You stiffen at first, your pride fighting the comfort he’s offering, but then the dam breaks, and you lean into him, hiding your face in his shoulder.

He strokes your hair gently, his voice a soft murmur. “I’m here. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” He presses a light kiss to the top of your head, letting the silence settle for a few moments longer before he speaks again.

“Want me to talk to your professor?” he murmurs, a playful edge creeping into his tone. “Because I could pay a visit, you know… straighten him out, remind him that no one messes with my girl.” He squeezes you a little tighter. “Just say the word.”

You can’t help the small, broken laugh that escapes you, muffled by his shirt. You know he’s kidding – or at least, half-kidding – but there’s a part of you that believes he might actually show up at your professor’s office if you asked him to. That thought alone lightens the weight on your chest, even if just a little.

“You don’t need to go after my professor, Rafe,” you mumble, a hint of sarcasm breaking through the sadness. “Even though… I wouldn’t mind seeing the look on his face if you did, it wasn’t his fault.”

Rafe chuckles softly, squeezing your shoulder. “If you change your mind, I’ve got my car gassed up and ready.”

The laugh fades, and you fall silent again, the weight of the failure still pressing down on you. After a few moments, you pull back slightly, looking up at him. “Rafe… what if I’m just not good enough? What if I’ve been trying so hard for nothing?”

You wrap your arms around his torso, fingers absently tracing random shapes on his t-shirt as the words left your trembling lips. “Maybe I should just quit it. Spare myself all the deception.”

He keeps his hold on you, his voice staying low and gentle. “Baby, you’re one of the smartest people I know. This grade? It doesn’t change that. Not even a little.”

You start to protest, but he shushes you, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “No, I’m serious. You’re so hard on yourself, and I get it. But you need to remember that one test doesn’t undo everything you are, everything you’ve done. It’s just one small thing in a million great things about you.”

The words come out softly and so certain, almost like a confession, and you see the shift in his expression as he meets your gaze. He lifts a hand, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes soft and steady. “Then you try again, and again, if you have to. But you’re anything but ‘not good enough.’ You’re brilliant, and hard-working, and stubborn as hell. I’ve seen you tackle way harder stuff than this.”

You shake your head, unable to accept the kindness in his voice. “But I… I feel so dumb, Rafe. Like all this effort is just… wasted. Like I’m not cut out for this.”

Rafe’s expression softens even more, and he tilts your chin up, making sure you’re looking into his eyes. “Baby, listen to me. One test, one mistake – none of that changes who you are or what you’re capable of. You’re allowed to be human, to mess up sometimes. It doesn’t make you any less amazing, okay?”

His words linger, breaking down the wall you’ve built around your pride and pain. For the first time since you got the grade, you start to believe that maybe, just maybe, he’s right. You were being too harsh in yourself.

“Thank you,” you whisper, your voice barely audible as you place a kiss to his cheek.

“Always,” he replies, giving you a small, reassuring smile. “Now, let’s stay here as long as you need, but when you’re ready, we’ll go grab some terrible takeout, or watch that show you like. Whatever you want. But for now… just let me hold you.”

You nod, settling against him, the rise and fall of his chest calming the storm in your mind. And as you lie there, surrounded by his warmth and steady heartbeat, the self-criticism starts to soften, the harsh thoughts fading, leaving only the quiet reassurance that you’ll be okay.

As you lie curled up against him, letting his warmth seep into you, Rafe’s hand gently runs along your back in soothing circles. You can feel the steady beat of his heart, grounding you, pulling you away from the spiral of self-doubt. After a long silence, you finally lift your head, your face inches from his as you meet his gaze. There’s no judgment in his eyes, just quiet understanding, and something even softer.

Slowly, he reaches up, brushing a thumb across your cheek, and you feel yourself lean into his touch. His eyes flicker down to your lips, and after a beat, he leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss that’s soft, gentle, like he’s pouring all his reassurance into you without a single word. His fingers slip to the back of your neck, his hold gentle but certain, as if anchoring you to the moment, grounding you in his presence and pulling you away from the loud thoughts in your mind.

He pulls back just slightly, his forehead resting against yours, and you feel his breath, warm and steady. “I’m here,” he whispers, his voice barely more than a murmur. “No grade, no test can change that. You’re more than enough, and I’m not going anywhere.” His thumb grazes your cheek again, his eyes filled with warmth and conviction, and in that moment, the weight on your heart feels a little lighter, the storm in your mind a little quieter.

[daenysx]

AEMOND TARGARYEN (PART 1)

series

STRINGS ATTACHED

part 1 - pretending

-telling modern!aemond you are pregnant but you are not in a relationship.

part 2 - confessing

-you and aemond explain your feelings to each other. nsfw.

drabbles

you're the only person who can calm modern!aemond down

modern!aemond helps you deal with anxiety after a dinner with friends

modern!aemond gives you a massage and an orgasm. NSFW

soft sex with modern!aemond. NSFW

modern!aemond longs for your kiss

you and modern!aemond can't help yourselves before going to an event. NSFW

you take care of modern!aemond when he is sick

you help modern!aemond relax. NSFW

modern!aemond wakes you up by giving you an orgasm. NSFW.

modern!aemond is there for you when you don't like the way you look

you tell modern!aemond you love him for the first time

one shots

remedy

-modern!aemond helps you sleep when you're nervous. cockwarming, nsfw.

lucky man

-you help modern!aemond calm down when he is angry. nsfw.

quality time

-modern!aemond helps you relax after a long week. nsfw, cockwarming.

drunk lover

-modern!aemond takes care of you when you're drunk.

comfort person

-modern!aemond comforts you about your exam results.

good hair day

-modern!aemond doesn't really like his curls but you adore them.

overachiever

-you stress about your exams but modern!aemond is here to comfort you.

my good looking boy

-you are the first person modern!aemond has sex with. nsfw.

not a relationship

-modern!aemond knows exactly how to make you feel better. friends with benefits. nsfw.

feel better

-you are sick but modern!aemond is there to take care of you.

missing his sweet baby

-your voice sounds sad and modern!aemond is quick to leave everything behind just to make you smile.

come back to me

-an accident leads to an early labor and prince aemond never lets go of your hand.

the blurry mind and the perfect lover

-your head is full but modern!aemond is right here to take care of you. nsfw.

his priority

-modern!aemond is there for you when you're on your period.

sleep on his tongue

-modern!aemond helps you sleep. nsfw.

good for you

-you ease off modern!aemond's worries about being a father like viserys.

naked & happy

-prince aemond and his wife have a delighted night. nsfw.

the one you call

-modern!aemond is there for you when you feel uncomfortable because of a stranger.

the right brother

-modern!aemond falls in love with aegon's (ex)girlfriend

hidden places

-you have a secret relationship with your boss modern!aemond. nsfw.

give you anything

-soft, sleepy sex with modern!aemond.

still in love

-you dream of your ex-boyfriend modern!aemond. nsfw.

his strong girl

-modern!aemond comforts you when you have a bad week.

the brave one

-confessing your love to your best friend aemond targaryen

her own path

-modern!aemond comforts his daughter after a family dinner.

cups filled with love

-modern!aemond tries to comfort his pregnant wife.

his dreams

-aemond targaryen dreams of you and touches himself to the thought of you.

little dragon

-aemond targaryen holds his daughter for the first time.

irresistible

-soft sex with modern!aemond when he is worried about you.

belong with you

-modern!aemond being jealous of you.

i adore you

-morning sex and aftercare with modern!aemond.

for you

-prince aemond targaryen pleasures you.

such a lovely scene

-aemond targaryen looking after his wife and his baby girl.

dizzy & charming

-modern!aemond helping you relieve some stress.

worried

-aemond targaryen reacting his wife overwork herself with a sword.

all for himself

-trying to comfort aemond targaryen.

i don't wanna be your friend

-sharing a bed with modern!aemond.

headcanons

modern!aemond's little girl saying her first word.

having an academic rivalry with modern!aemond.

aemond targaryen falls in love with his betrothed.

modern!aemond loves when you wear your classic red lipstick.

concepts

modern!aemond loves having sex with you.

modern!aemond is addicted to see you in his clothes.

modern!aemond knows when you have a bad day.

aemond targaryen stays by your side when you are giving birth.

modern!aemond loves when you are tipsy or drunk.

modern!aemond keeps his feelings under control all the time.

[the-californicationist]

Cali's Kinktober: Day 03

Kinktober Masterlist in absentia lucis - "in the absence of light" John Price x f!reader Kinks > rape, torture, sensory deprivation Full tags on AO3 - MDNI - Read at your own risk.

You are a new recruit to the CIA, and Kate Laswell sends you to some remote blacksite for your interrogation training. Your temporary commander, Captain John Price, gives you a safeword, but as your training begins, you realize that you feel everything except for safe. 

Hey, did you see where the tags said RAPE? Okay, just making sure.

It was three flights and a cab. It was airport food and cold coffee. It was forgetting whether the date ended in a three or a four. It was paperwork and passports and finally a cold office. It was a long trip, and you were running on empty. 

“What are your expectations, here, Katie? I don’t wanna do another Warsaw situ–” The man complained.

“This is nothing like Warsaw. She can handle it. Trust me.” Your boss replied, her voice crackling over the video call.

The man who complained squared his jaw and fixed his eyes on you again, looking at you fresh now that your handler, Kate Laswell, had vouched for you. You tried not to fidget in your seat. You didn’t sit up any straighter. You weren’t here to advertise yourself as the bravest or the toughest of anything. You knew you still needed a lot of training, and if he wanted to draw his own conclusions about you, then that was his business, not yours. 

“Her scores are high. She beat your exam?” 

“She did. Her field test and her ‘chute certifications were performed at a DF site here in the states.”

There was a long pause before Laswell spoke again,

“Do me this favor and maybe I’ll even let you borrow her for a recon mission or two. I know none of your boys are pretty enough to pass for party girls, but mine is.”

“That she is,” you heard his tone darken, thickening in his mouth like sticky sap from a tree, borderline inappropriate. When he saw your reaction to his comment, he turned back to the screen and said, “Alright, Katie. You got a deal. I’ll send her back once she’s out of recovery.”

“Thanks, John. Don’t go easy on her, or she’ll make you pay for it.”

“Is that so?” His wry smile sent a jolt somewhere in your belly that you didn’t appreciate.

She laughed and hung up the call. You waited, trying not to let the jitters or the exhaustion win out, battling both but feeling pulled in either direction just the same. 

“So,” he turned his attention to you at last, “Did you lay in your fuckin’ pink princess bed when you were a little girl and dream about becoming a bloody spy, or is this some sort of complex I should know about?”

You shrugged, 

“A man does what he must…”

“Careful, girl. Quoting Kennedy can’t be good for your health if you’re working in Katie’s office, hm?”

“You don’t need to know why I’m here, sir.” You used his title like a knife, flashing it right in front of his eyes and watching them ignite with his smoldering, quiet fury.

“No, but I bet I’ll find out during our time together,” he promised, making your heart clench with stress and anxiety, “What’s your safeword?”

“Red.”

“Red,” he repeated it to you as if he wanted to see how it felt in his mouth. Then, after a long pause, he explained, “I will also stop before the point of emergent damage. But, I will push you past the point of pain. You will sustain injuries. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, love?”

He seemed to be under the misconception that this was your first rodeo. You knew what you had come here for, and it wasn’t some drill sergeant to yell you into shape. You had already been through Delta Force’s operator training center - the parts they allowed CIA operatives through, anyway - and you’d surpassed what Williamsburg had to offer. You were aiming to serve as a Special Skills operative, the blackest of the black ops groups, and although you lacked the physical strength to be of any use in most field positions, you had one key factor that your fellow recruits didn’t have.

Men never expected a woman to be a threat. 

Laswell had plans for you. She’d tracked down two high value targets, but they were well-guarded. However, there were usually strippers and dancers and prostitutes as far as the eye could see, always partying and coming and going at all hours of the night. You were her way in. But, it was your job to get back out. If you could survive, you’d be a hero. If you didn’t, well, she had more pawns on the board. Not to mention, you had a mission of your own to complete..

So, you worked harder than anyone. You jumped at every field training exercise, you took martial arts classes in every different format you could find, and you lived at the shooting range. You didn’t have a social life. Usually, if you were alone in a room with a man, your fists were connecting with each other’s faces. 

You looked back across the wooden desk in front of you, over his nameplate - Captain Price - and into his startlingly blue eyes,

“I understand.”

He came out of his chair like a fucking demon, lunging for you without warning. As you stumbled backward, wielding your own chair over your shoulder, you sighed inwardly. You’d at least expected a more civilized initiation, maybe even a moment for a coffee, before he started in on his training. But, alas, that was not to be. 

You crashed the wooden chair against his head, neck, and shoulder as he rounded the desk, keeping hold of the broken armrest as a weapon. You stabbed downward, aiming for his throat and not holding back. He blocked you, cracking your wrist against the rigid wood. You stepped into his space, kicking his heel out from under him and following him to the floor. His head hit the concrete with a bang, and you used that moment to pin the armrest against his throat, bearing down on him with all your weight, dislodging his trachea enough to cut his air supply. 

He flung you off of him like a ragdoll, and your back slammed into the leg of the desk. You twisted underneath it, staying just out of his reach, small enough to fit through the gap. He scrambled up on all fours, cackling at you with a gravelly, menacing laugh before leaping up and over the desk to pull you out by your ankles. 

You kicked up and over, making contact with his nose, and when he dropped your other foot, you launched your heel into his balls, making sure to aim as deeply as you could. 

He coughed, and it was your turn to laugh. 

Your victory was short-lived. He launched his body at you, shoving your back down on the desk. You felt the familiar bite of his nameplate digging into your skull, so you dragged it out and swung it at him, cutting him across his cheek. He hissed, yanking it out of your hand and tossing it to the ground. 

The captain forced himself between your legs, pressing his body down on yours, and wrapped his hand across your throat. You fought like hell to get him off, twisting his pinky until you thought it might break, but he caught your wrists in his other hand, holding them at a terrible angle, choking you until you saw rainbow spots discolor your vision. 

“Well,” he said, breathless and bleeding, “Christmas came early, dinn’it?”

Just making sure you read the tag that said this fic has RAPE IN IT. I'm just checking in again. Just want you to know. Okay, thanks.

When you woke up, you weren’t completely sure of it, at first. It was as if you were still asleep. You opened your eyes, but all you saw was an endless blackness. You couldn’t hear anything, you couldn’t smell anything, and you couldn’t move your jaw. But you could feel everything. 

Your whole body screamed in pain. One of your hands was wrenched above your head, and the weight of your body hung from your broken wrist, making you cry out in whatever muffled way you could.

Then, something was removed from your ears, and you could hear again. It was still quiet, but the sound of the aircon and the noise of another person’s breath were like blaring sirens compared to the silence you had been steeped in. 

“Look who’s awake,” John’s purr of a voice washed over you. 

You tried to reply, tried to beg for him to cut you down, but you couldn’t speak. Your mouth was holding something round and pliant. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” he patted your flank, and you were suddenly aware of your nakedness. He’d taken your clothes? You could hear him scooting a metal chair across the room towards you, and his pants rustled as he sat down, “Can’t have you talkin’ your way out of this one. Based on the three stitches in my cheek, I was wrong to underestimate you, darlin’. Shoulda listened to Katie, this time. But, look at you. Just a whisper of a thing.”

His rolling chuckle made your bones itch. 

“Hard to use a safeword when you’ve got a gag on, yeah?”

You nodded, acknowledging the irony. 

Price moved in the chair again. No, he stood. You could hear his boots sliding around you in a half-circle. He kept talking to you, his tone as casual as ever,

“Yeah, thought so. But, this isn’t one of those trainings, pretty girl. You won’t be needing one. I will stop when you’re ready to stop, not when you want to stop. You need to learn that, sometimes, your body…” His hand snaked its way around your thigh and you tried to kick out at him, discovering your ankles were tied together and anchored to the floor, “... is capable of so much more than you give it credit for.”

Your heart began to slam against your chest, and your breathing became labored. You were having a panic attack. If you could only see…

“Hey,” his tone shifted, becoming the instructor again, “Breathe slowly. In. Hold it. Out. All the way. In. Out. Tha’s it. Good.” 

There was a long pause. You could smell him now. It was cigars and fire and gunpowder and smoke. It filled your senses, replacing your sight with scent. 

“I’m gonna put your ears back on, and we’ll see what you can do.” 

The world fell away again, and all you had was the smell of him. Then, he started his training. 

It wasn’t the pain that upset you, not really. Pain was something you could move past. It was the surprise. You never knew when it was coming, nor where he was going to hit you next. Sometimes it was his fist. Sometimes it was a belt. Sometimes it was an electric shock. Legs, ribs, foot, arm, neck, belly… there was no pattern. 

You also had no idea of the passage of time. You were infinite and you existed in the darkness of infinity. It was just pain forever with no reprieve. 

Until it wasn’t.

The first time you felt his fingers pinching the tender peaks of your breasts, your whole body jolted. You hadn’t really responded to the pain in the same way, but to pleasure? It was unexpected in a different way. You didn’t think he would violate you. That wasn’t even something they’d tried to do when you were with the DF. 

You bucked, hoping that your displeasure was noted for the record. 

But, perhaps, your mind teased you, the lady doth protest too much? You had wanted him to touch you when he’d picked you up from the airport. When he shook your hand, hadn’t you measured his fingers and started wanting? Weren’t you eager for training to be over so you could be invited back to his flat for the after-work romp you knew would be on offer?

Hanging there like a slab of meat had changed things a bit, but it had not quelled your desire, unfortunately.

You wondered if he had reacted. You imagined him laughing at you. Was he enjoying himself? Or was this all apart of his brand of training? 

I bet you choke out all the pretty girls… you sneered inwardly. 

More pain. This time, your ass cheeks were the targets. The snapping bite of what felt like a belt hit you repeatedly and without mercy. You found yourself breathless from silently screaming, your tongue pressing against the gag for some sort of relief and finding none. 

Then, pleasure again. His thick fingers fondled your pussy from behind, digging into your flesh and discovering the wetness hidden inside of your unused hole. There was no romance to his movements, but forcing an orgasm from you did seem to be his goal. And fuck, you lamented, he was good at it. 

He doubled up, twisting two fingers deep inside of you, pounding them into your body all the way to the knuckle, fast and hard, dragging you towards the edge. Your legs began to tremble, and you knew your face must’ve looked a mess, because you were in total shock. 

It felt like he was going to vibrate you right out of your skin, and still he moved faster. He wrapped his other hand around your belly, holding you in place, and you thrashed against it, fighting the mounting urge to come. 

You were doing pretty well, you thought, given the conditions. Until…

His soft lips pressed themselves down onto your spine. It was just a chaste kiss, but it unfurled you like a ripcord. You exploded, your whole body convulsing in bliss, and although you were wearing a blindfold, you could see white streaks and stars dancing across your vision. You came alive. 

Price pulled out of you, and you felt the stream of slick drip down your legs. He’d forced you to squirt, something you thought was completely faked, only for pornos. But, there it was, proof of its reality smearing down your thighs and onto the concrete floor. 

Pain, again. 

The searing sting of a taser in the sensitive flesh of your belly. 

Fists and harsh palms. 

The bite of a chain. 

A sharp ache from a needle or a knife. 

His fist closing around your index finger and snapping it cleanly in two. 

You wanted to puke, but there was nothing to come up. Your belly bulged and hollowed, letting you gag and choke around nothing, going through the motions and yet giving you nothing to move. 

Then, pleasure. 

His hands were back on your pussy, finding your clit and teasing you until you jerked forward. But, his hand remained, insisting. And insisting. And insisting. 

You lost track of how many times you’d toppled over the edge of your orgasm. There were no borders, not anymore. Your pleasure was bleeding and smearing all around you in one great wave, blinding you to the starts and stops from coming and not. You were drowning in it. 

Just when you thought you might pass out, you felt the prod of his prick between your legs, entering you from behind. You couldn’t feel a condom. You tried to twist yourself away, rocking your hips to no avail. 

This was definitely not protocol.

Those lips returned to the same spot on your spine, and you melted onto him, covering him like hot wax, sealing your body onto his cock like a brass signet, letting him leave his mark on you. 

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them roughly, holding your body to him in a vicious embrace. 

Then, he dug around inside of your mouth and yanked out the gag. You felt yourself make a terrible noise, but you couldn’t hear the sound that came out. You knew he could, though, because when he heard you, his cock throbbed at your entrance, and it made him push forward, dipping into you even deeper. 

Wait… Captain Price. Please. Wait. Wait. 

You wondered if you were as loud as you tried to be. In fact, you wondered if he could hear you at all because he did not stop. If anything, he went onward with even more fervor. 

His mouth kissed its way across your back, and you could feel his stubble and the coarse hairs of his beard raking their way along your skin. His warm tongue leaving little wet stamps as it laved across you, tasting your sweat. 

The way his fat prick was stretching you out made you question if he was using himself or the armrest of the chair that you had tried to kill him with. You hissed from the ache, but he didn’t halt his advance. Didn’t retreat. He just pressed further inside of you. 

How much cock did this jerk have?

Finally, you felt his hairy base tickle the skin under your ass cheeks, and you knew there was an end to his incredible length. 

What… why are you doing this? Why…

He pulled himself out in the same way he had pressed in, slowly and with a fierce persistence. 

Then, he began to pound himself into you.

You were at the perfect height for him, and it made you sick to your stomach to know that it was deliberate. This had been his plan all along. And although most of you felt completely indignant, there was a nasty little demon in your heart that celebrated in it. He’d wanted you from the start, even after you’d made him bleed, maybe even because of it. 

And that thought brought you no small amount of joy. 

His hands had returned to your breasts, playing with them too roughly. John was pinching your nipples and craning his neck around to suckle from them, nipping at them with his teeth until you screamed from the pain of being bitten. Even then, your screams were a poor deterrent. It didn’t stop him from returning to them, crushing the stiff tips as he worked his cock inside of you, fucking himself up into you at a punishing pace. 

He only pulled away to stick his tongue inside of your armpit, licking you over and over in a place where no one had ever even thought to lick, and you wished you could say, honestly, that it had disgusted you. But, it didn’t. If anything, it made you gasp with a new brand of pleasure. He had awakened something fresh and bright in you that you never meant to discover. 

Then, he got brave. He shoved two fingers right into your slack mouth, and you immediately bit down, hard. You could taste blood, and you fought against his flesh, trying to crack the bone. But, he shoved them down your throat, and all you had to chew on was a fat fist that wouldn’t even allow your jaw to close much less to bite. 

You could feel his fingers in your throat, deep down in a place where fingers were never supposed to go, and all you could do was swallow around them, trying your best to keep from drooling into your airway. 

His cheek pressed into your shoulder blade. He was enjoying you. 

The way his gentle kiss or the softness of his cheek ripped orgasms from you was concerning, to say the least. You hoped you could remember this moment, of how the way he rested himself against you as he was taking you against your vocal will was throwing your body down a deep well of dark, forbidden pleasure. How your vision burned white and gold and formed spots of colors that had no names as he fucked you into a different plane of existence. How you thought, if you got a late night text, written in his smoky, raspy Scouse accent, you would crawl your way back across the pond just so he could give it to you again. 

Oh, my God… You screamed from the pit of your belly. 

His thrusts never slowed. He was like a machine. All those muscles were being put to work, and you were the mission. 

Had it been hours?

Days?

Did the world still exist outside of this concrete cube that you suspected you were in?

Would you starve to death in here?

The demon that apparently lived in your cunt rolled its eyes and said, who cares? I wanna come again and again and again…

And you did. You were so overstimulated that you thought even someone looking at you the right way would make you come. It had become painful, at one point, and now you were not numb… Numb wasn’t the right word. You were soft. Your mind and your pussy were just murky, oily, cock-filled vessels, happy they were full and unwilling to question what it meant. 

When he finally pulled out of you, you were limp. You didn’t thrash or fight. You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. 

You felt his fingers again, drawing out your foaming, frothy come into his hand. He used it to smear it along the rim of your asshole. Then, he began to fuck your tight hole with his fingers, one. Over and over. One. One. One. Then, he added a second. Two. Two. A thousand times, two. Three was a bit of a challenge, but he pushed through. Three. Two. Three. Two. Three. Three. Three. And then, none. 

None. 

None. 

Where did he go?

Pain. A heavy hand slapping across your bruised tits. Again. Again. 

You were screaming, surely. You wanted to be, at least. 

The flat of his palm beat itself against your breast over and over without mercy. 

Then, his cockhead rested at the entrance of your asshole. 

You didn’t beg this time. If anything, he should be the one begging, you thought. If you lived, you were going to make him remember you. 

Price shoved himself inside of you with some force, but you took it. You waited until he was fully sheathed inside, and when he took a breath, when those lips rested themselves on the back of your neck, you beared down on him, hard. 

You felt his breath catch as it skittered across your skin. 

The demon in you chuckled in triumph. 

C’mon, Captain. Is that all you got? You made the words come out of your throat, and you hoped he could hear you. 

The way that his hand fisted itself in your hair told you that he had. 

If you thought he had fucked your pussy like an animal, you had been mistaken. He took your ass like he owned it. Like it was his toy. There was no pleasure-seeking rhythm, no careful pacing or grinding movements. He was fucking you because he wanted to come. So, you made him. 

Every time he dragged himself out, you let him go, but every time he pressed himself in, you fought him the whole way. Squeezing and pushing, squeezing and pushing, making your tight hole even tighter, rocking your hips to drive him mad with want. 

You felt him lose control, his hot spend filling your ass and bursting out of his swollen head, soaking your hole. You pulsed around him, and you felt that soft cheek return to your shoulder. 

Come for me, baby. Good boy. You giggled out loud. 

He slapped you across the mouth, and you laughed harder, feeling his cock slip out of you, spent. 

You can’t hurt me in a way that matters, John Price. Do your fuckin’ worst.

You felt him step around you, smelling his breath as he held you face to face. Then, the noise of the room came back and you could hear him panting, ragged and desperate. You felt the blindfold fall away and you could see him, your eyes shrinking in the dim light of the cell, hurt by even the smallest glow of light. 

You were back, but you were not yourself. Not anymore. You were a different you. Someone he had made. He had crafted you with his own hands. 

“Why? Why didn’t you beg me to stop?”

His eyes were burning into yours as he stared down at you, questioning what he had done, what you had done with him. You had used him like a sharpener, honing yourself to a high shine, and he didn’t understand. 

When you heard your voice for the first time, you mourned it a bit, but you knew it would come back eventually. It was raspy, muddled, and barely audible, but you said it with your whole chest,

“I was made for this, and I could go all fuckin’ day.”

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long did he keep you prisoner?”

Kate Laswell, you fucking bitch. 

He’d read your file. The real one. Not the one on your tagline, but the one that you and Laswell had hidden away. 

“Five months,” you told him, a sick smile on your face, “But, you already knew that.”  

He sighed, his hands on his hips, just as naked as you, which you found a little funny. 

“Why’d you come here? Why would she…” 

You watched him wrestle with the betrayal in his head, knowing he’d been manipulated. He’d walked right into her trap. You basked in his confusion, having almost as much fun as you’d had while he was railing you into oblivion. 

“Laswell said you needed a way into the Ikon, some strip club on the border between Russia and Urzikstan. So, I said I would help.”

“And she knew I’d say no…”

“Unless you knew I could handle it.”

It was his turn to be in pain. You could see the fire of it creeping through his belly, knowing he’d just tortured a girl who’d written the book in torture. The surgeries and the psych consults were long, long behind you, but your run in with the Russian mob was not something you were ever going to forget. But, now, John Price was going to give you a chance at revenge. You were his gun, and you just needed him to point you in the right direction. 

Suddenly, he cut you down, freeing you from your hanging place. You crumpled into his arms, letting him hold you as you collapsed. You used your hands to pet the worry out of his eyes, and he fought you for it, trying to stop you from comforting him. So, you grabbed him with what little strength you could muster, and you pulled his face to yours, pressing your mouths together, making him taste your blood from where he had cut your cheek against your teeth. He yanked his head back, furrowing his brow,

“No, stop…”

“Shut up,” you said, kissing him again and feeling his surrender as he held you tighter, pulling you into his chest even though he was ridden with guilt. 

“We shouldn’t, love. I’m so sor–”

“Where’d you put that gag?” You pretended to look around for it, earning a slight smile and an exasperated huff.

You knew you’d made the cut, because when he fucked you this time, he didn’t hold back.

Whelp. Kinktober!

[starsenha]

COMFORT / N.R

Pairing ◊ reader x idol!riki

Genre ◊ toe curling fluff, established relationship

Warnings ◊ talk about sickness (yn's mom is sick in this), kinda sad, talk about anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, riki is just the perfect boyfie in this, cuddling

Word count ◊ 3,2k

Summary ◊ You called riki like usual tonight, but he saw there was something wrong. When you started crying during the call, he knew he had to come to see you and be there for you, even if it meant nearly missing his schedule.

a/n: not proofread, enjoy!

You stared at your phone screen, anxiously waiting for the familiar video call tone to ring. Tonight, the usual excitement and anticipation were replaced by a heavy weight in your chest. College had been overwhelming lately—assignments, exams, and personal issues all seemed to be piling up at once. You didn't want to burden Riki with your problems. His schedule was already packed with rehearsals, recordings, and performances. But despite your best efforts to hide your feelings, Riki always seemed to know when something was off.

The phone rang, and his face appeared on the screen, immediately brightening your dimly lit room. His smile was infectious, and you almost forgot your worries for a moment.

"Hey, baby," Riki greeted, his voice warm and cheerful. "How was your day?"

"Hey," you replied, trying to muster a smile. "It was okay, just the usual college stuff."

Riki's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied your face. "You sure? You look a bit tired."

"I'm fine," you lied, not wanting to worry him. "How was your day?"

Riki's face lit up as he launched into a story about his bandmates. "Oh, you wouldn't believe what happened today! Heeseung hyung was trying to teach Sunoo a new dance move, and he ended up tripping over his own feet. It was hilarious! He blamed it on the slippery floor, but we all know it was just him being clumsy."

You forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow even to your own ears. Riki's expression softened, and he leaned closer to the screen as if he could reach through and hold you.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice gentle. "I know something's up. You can talk to me."

You sighed, feeling the weight of the day's stress pressing down on you. "It's just... everything feels overwhelming right now. College, personal stuff... I don't know. I didn't want to bother you with it."

Riki's eyes filled with concern. "You're never a bother to me, you know that. I care about you, and I want to know when you're feeling down. Tell me what's going on."

You took a deep breath, finally letting the floodgates open. "It's just been really hard lately. I have so many assignments and exams coming up, and I feel like I'm falling behind. And there's this whole thing with my family... it's just a lot to handle,’’ you confessed, feeling the tightness in your chest intensify as you spoke.

Riki's eyes softened with concern. "I'm sorry you're going through all that, baby. Fuck, I wish I could be there to help you."

The tears you had been holding back started to spill over, staining your cheeks. "I just feel like I'm drowning. There's so much pressure from school, and things back at home aren't any better. I don't know what to do, and I feel so alone," you said, your voice cracking.

Seeing you cry broke Riki's heart. He reached out towards the screen as if he could touch you, his eyes filling with worry and helplessness. "Oh, baby, please don't cry," he pleaded. "I hate seeing you like this. I wish I could hold you right now."

You tried to wipe your tears away, but they kept coming. "I'm sorry, Riki. I didn't want to dump all of this on you. You already have so much to deal with."

"Don't apologize," he said firmly. "Your feelings matter to me. You matter to me."

Riki was silent for a moment, his mind racing. Then, with a determined look, he grabbed his jacket and began to gather his things.

"What are you doing?" you asked, sniffling.

"I'm coming to see you," he said simply.

"No, Riki, you can't," you protested. "It's too risky. What if you get caught? You could get in serious trouble. And don’t you have early practice tomorrow morning?’’

"I don't care," he said, his voice resolute. "You're more important to me than any rule or schedule. I can't stand to see you like this and not do anything about it."

"But—"

"No buts," he interrupted gently. "I need to be with you right now. You need me, and I need to be there for you."

You watched as he quietly slipped out of his dorm room, his phone still in hand. Your heart raced with a mix of fear and relief. "Riki, please, you don't have to do this. I'll be okay."

"I want to," he replied, his voice soft but firm. "I need to see you, to hold you. You're everything to me, and I won't let anything stand in the way of that."

The journey seemed to take forever, and you stayed on the call, your tears gradually slowing as you listened to his footsteps and the occasional whispered reassurance. When he finally arrived at your dorm, he gave a gentle knock on your door.

You opened it, and there he was, his face a mix of worry and determination. Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go.

"I'm here now," he whispered into your hair. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here."

You clung to him, feeling the warmth and comfort of his embrace. "Thank you, Riki. I don't know what I'd do without you.’’ 

"You'll never have to find out," he promised, kissing the top of your head. "We'll get through this together."

For the first time that night and since days, you felt a sense of peace. He was your comfort person, and at that moment, you were so blessed to have him in your life. Riki guided you gently to your bed, where you both sat down. He held your hands, his thumbs gently caressing your knuckles as he looked at you with tender concern.

"Tell me everything," he urged softly. "I'm here now. I want to know what's going on."

You took a deep breath, feeling a lump in your throat. "It's my mom," you began, your voice trembling. "She's been really sick lately. She was diagnosed with a serious illness a few weeks ago, and it's been really hard on my family."

Riki's eyes widened with worry, but he kept his grip on your hands steady. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked, a hint of frustration in his voice. "I could have been there for you. You shouldn't have had to deal with this alone."

"I didn't want to burden you," you admitted, tears welling up again. "You already have so much on your plate. I didn't want to add to your stress."

Riki shook his head, pulling you closer. "You're never a burden to me, you know that. I care about you so much. You should have told me. I want to help you through this."

You leaned into him, finding comfort in his embrace. "It's not just my mom. My younger brother has been acting out because of everything that's happening. He's been getting into trouble at school, and my dad is always at work trying to pay the medical bills. It's like everything is falling apart."

Riki's arms tightened around you, holding you securely against his chest. "I'm so sorry, baby. I wish I could make everything better for you. But I'm here now, and I'll do whatever I can to support you."

You buried your face in his shoulder, the warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart grounding you. "Thank you, Riki. Just having you here makes a huge difference."

He pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. "You're not alone in this. We'll get through it together. Whenever you need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you."

You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude. "It just feels like everything is so overwhelming. I don't know how to handle it all."

"One step at a time," he whispered, his voice calm and reassuring. "We'll take it one step at a time. And remember, it's okay to lean on others. You have me, and I want to help you carry this burden."

You pulled back slightly to look at him, his eyes filled with unwavering support. "I'm so lucky to have you," you said softly.

"And I'm lucky to have you," he replied, his lips curling into a small smile. "Now, let's just take a moment to breathe. We don't have to solve everything tonight. But I'm here, and I won't let go."

He shifted slightly, lying back on the bed and pulling you with him so that you were nestled in his arms. You rested your head on his chest, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat. Riki held you in his arms for a while, letting you feel his presence and his unwavering support. Then, he gently pulled back and cupped your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with a determined expression.

"Alright, enough sadness for tonight," he said with a small smile. "I know exactly what will cheer you up."

You gave him a curious look as he reached over to grab your laptop from your desk. He opened it and quickly navigated to your favorite streaming website. Within moments, the familiar theme music of "Harry Potter" filled the room.

"Harry Potter?" you asked, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the tears still lingering in your eyes.

"Of course," he replied, his eyes twinkling. "It's your comfort movie, right? Thought it might help distract you for a bit."

You nodded, touched by the fact that he actually remembered. "You remembered."

"I remember everything about you," he said softly, kissing your forehead. "Now, you stay here and get comfortable. I'm going to make us some food."

Before you could protest, he was off the bed and heading towards your small kitchen area. You watched him with a mix of amusement and affection as he rummaged through your cupboards, finally pulling out a couple of packets of instant ramen.

"Don't laugh," he called over his shoulder, grinning. "I know I'm not a great cook, but this is something I can manage."

You chuckled, feeling a bit lighter. "Ramen sounds perfect, 'ki. Thank you."

As he prepared the ramen, you settled back against the pillows, the familiar scenes of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" playing out on your laptop. The comforting music and the sight of Hogwarts brought a sense of nostalgia and peace.

Riki soon returned with two steaming bowls of ramen. He handed one to you, then climbed back onto the bed, sitting cross-legged beside you. "Here you go, freshly made by yours truly."

You took the bowl and inhaled the savory aroma. "It smells great. Thanks."

"Anything for you," he said with a wink, then started eating his own ramen. "So, what's your favorite part of this movie?"

You smiled, feeling more at ease. "Probably when Harry first arrives at Hogwarts. It's so magical and full of wonder."

Riki nodded, slurping his noodles noisily. "Yeah, I get that. It's like stepping into a whole new world."

As the movie played on, Riki continued to chat with you, making funny comments about the characters and the scenes. "Look at Snape. Always looks like he just drank sour milk," he joked, making you giggle.

"And Draco Malfoy," he continued with a dramatic flair. "Always acting like he's the king of the castle. What a drama queen."

You laughed, feeling your spirits lift with each of his playful remarks. "You know, you could give him a run for his money in the drama department," you teased.

"Hey now," he protested with a grin. "I only use my dramatic skills for good, like cheering up my beautiful girlfriend."

Once you finished your bowl –he of course made sure you ate every single bit of the ramen– he set them on the floor next to your bed and settled in bed with you, cuddling you. Before you knew it, you had drifted off, your head resting gently against his shoulder.

Riki noticed your breathing slow and deepen, and he looked down to see you fast asleep, your face relaxed and peaceful. A soft smile spread across his face as he watched you sleep, feeling a swell of affection and love that made his heart ache in the best way possible. You looked so adorable, cuddled up in his arm, and he couldn’t help but think about how lucky he was to have you in his life.

He carefully adjusted his position to make you more comfortable without waking you, his arm securely around you. The movie continued to play, but his attention was entirely on you. Every once in a while, he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, marveling at how serene and beautiful you looked in your sleep.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He carefully fished it out, making sure not to disturb you. The screen lit up with a message from Jungwon. Oh, he was so fucked. 

[Jungwon hyung] Where are you? You’re not at the dorm. We have practice early tomorrow. 

Riki sighed quietly, knowing that he would likely face some serious scolding tomorrow. He glanced at you, still sleeping peacefully, and felt a surge of protectiveness. None of that mattered right now. What mattered was being here for you.

He replied as quietly as possible, not wanting to risk waking you.

[Riki] I’m with y/n. She needed me. I’ll be back in the morning.

A moment later, his phone buzzed again.

[Jungwon hyung]: You know this isn’t allowed, Riki. We’ll talk about this tomorrow. And I swear if you are late, I’ll beat your ass. 

Riki muttered a soft curse under his breath, his gaze shifting back to you. He turned off his phone and placed it aside, focusing on the feeling of having you close. The warmth of your body against his, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed—it all made him feel more certain than ever about his feelings for you. He knew he was deeply in love with you, so much so that nothing else seemed to matter.

The night continued, the room filled with the soft glow of the laptop screen and the steady sound of your breathing. Riki watched over you, his heart full, feeling more content than he had in a long time. In that moment, all the pressures and responsibilities faded away, leaving just the two of you, together and safe.

As the credits of the movie rolled, Riki carefully adjusted the blanket over you both, making sure you were warm and comfortable. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. With you in his arms, he closed his eyes, savoring the quiet moments of peace.

The room was dark and quiet when Riki's alarm went off, the soft chime barely breaking the stillness. He stirred, groaning softly as he reached to silence his phone. It was really early, the kind of early that made everything feel surreal and dreamlike. He blinked, trying to shake off the sleepiness and remember where he was.

You were still nestled in his arms, your head resting against his chest. Riki carefully untangled himself from you, moving slowly to avoid waking you. He slipped off the bed, grabbing his jacket and shoes as quietly as possible. But despite his best efforts, the slight rustle and movement stirred you awake.

"Riki?" you mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eyes.

He froze, turning to you with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to wake you."

You sat up, blinking in the dim light. "What time is it? Where are you going?"

Riki sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's really early. I have an early practice to get to, and if I'm late, Jungwon will kill me. Well, he's probably going to kill me anyway for not being at the dorm last night."

You frowned, still half-asleep but worried. "Are you going to be okay? I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

Riki leaned over and kissed your forehead. "Don't worry about me. It was worth it to be here with you. You needed me, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

You reached out, grabbing his hand. "I don't want you to get in trouble, though."

"I'll handle it," he assured you, giving your hand a squeeze. "Right now, I need to sneak back to the dorm without getting caught. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left."

You nodded, still worried but knowing he had to go. "Thank you for everything, Riki. You really helped me last night."

He smiled, his eyes soft with affection. "I'm glad I could be here for you. Just remember, I'm always just a call away. Anytime you need me."

You watched as he quietly finished getting ready, slipping his shoes on and grabbing his jacket. He moved towards the door, then turned back for a moment, his eyes lingering on you.

"Try to get some more sleep, okay? And take care of yourself today," he said softly.

"I will," you promised. "You take care too. And good luck with practice."

He chuckled quietly. "Thanks. I'll need it."

With one last, lingering look, he slipped out the door, carefully closing it behind him. You lay back down, feeling the warmth he left behind in the bed. Despite the early interruption, you felt comforted by his presence and his words.

Riki moved quickly but quietly through the early morning streets, the city still mostly asleep. Thank god, he thought, he couldn’t run into an engene or anyone right now. He navigated his way back to the dorm, his heart pounding not just from the rush but from the thoughts of you. He knew there would be consequences, but he couldn't bring himself to regret his decision.

As he approached the dorm, he checked the time. He was cutting it close, but he might just make it. He slipped inside, moving as silently as possible, hoping to avoid any early risers.

Just as he thought he was in the clear, he bumped into Jungwon, who was standing in the hallway with his arms crossed, looking none too pleased.

"Riki," Jungwon said, his tone a mix of exasperation and concern. "Do you know what time it is?"

Riki scratched the back of his head, giving Jungwon a sheepish grin. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, hyung. I had to take care of something important."

Jungwon sighed, his expression softening a bit. "Look, I understand if it was important, but you need to communicate. We have schedules to keep, and the rest of the team relies on you."

"I know, I know," Riki said, nodding earnestly. "It won't happen again. I promise."

Jungwon gave him a long look, then nodded. "Alright. Get ready for practice. And next time, just let me know what's going on. I hope y/n is okay 

Riki smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Jungwon. I will. And she’s better now."

As he hurried to get ready, Riki couldn't help but think about you, knowing that no matter how much trouble he got into, it was all worth it to be there for you when you needed him most.

[secretress]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.❞

Who is your soul tribe?

Subliminal channel | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

This is a tarot card reading. I pulled out 2-3 cards for each pile and a little bit of advice.

18+ readings: @enchantressiren

Pictures | divider

Pile I

Knight of cups and nine of swords.

Your soul tribe is mainly focused on forgiveness, love, devotion to yourself, and humanity. I am seeing a group of people wearing stereotypical, spiritual clothing, and they are in a circle together, as there is a fireplace in the middle of them. And one person is playing an acoustic guitar. Some of the other people are slowly clapping their hands or using an instrument to make a sound that is calming for the mind. I see someone with a wooden shaker, and that person is someone who is dear to you. And then I see you sitting on the log as they all do this beautiful relaxing song for you, as now you are part of the tribe, and you will listen and sway your head back and forth, and you’ll feel so much peace within. And my intuition says, “this is the first time I have felt peace. I am finally with my people. Thank you, (whoever higher up you believe in).” My intuition basically explains how you finally found the people who were already fated for you, but at the same time who are there for you to feel the sensation of happiness and accomplishment because they are your soul tribe. This is your fated destiny, as it is meant for your soul to find its right destination and finally feel complete.

With the knight of cups, you were able to follow what your heart wanted instead of what you have been doing for most of your life. You have been someone who was a follower and someone who always used logic instead of focusing on what was in your heart. You have a desire for a journey because everything in your life, as of this moment, is stale and the same. Nothing changes, and you try so hard for change. For a sense of purpose, but nothing happens as you keep chasing. And you are confused about what to do. So stop chasing; don’t even worry about attracting. Just do what your heart wants, and you will get everything you want.

The nine of swords, indicates anxiety and a feeling of despair and hopelessness, and that’s how you feel right now. You are afraid to stop chasing and find your people—your soul tribe because you believe that everything you do comes to a complete failure. But that’s because you focus on logic instead of your heart. You must focus on what your heart wants, and if you cannot figure it out, then take some time alone and figure out what you want. Write them down, talk to yourself, record them, scroll on random websites, and figure out what sounds appealing to you and what makes you happy. And once you do that, and your mindset hits your ideal, you will find your soul tribe since it’s the end of the destination.

Masterlist | Paid Readings

Pile II

Four of swords reversed, ace of wands, and knight of pentacles.

Immediately from your soul tribe, I can feel such enthusiasm, excitement, and screaming of ''AHHHHHH, I LOVEEEE YOUUUU,’’ and ‘’you mean the world to us, keep rockin’!’’ Wow, your soul tribe is made up of very cheerful and loving people who will always praise you for the little things you do in your life. For example, let's say you passed your exam and it wasn't a big deal to you, but to them, it is everything. They will be celebrating everything with such huge smiles on their faces, and all of this is genuine. I can feel your energy, ‘’is this really going to happen?’’ and yes, it will happen. You deserve their love, not because you chose this pile, but because you are a worthy human being who deserves the best love. So, with the four of wands reversed, this card focuses on restlessness, burnout, stress, and this is your overall energy. You guys keep trying to please your parents, those around you, your role models, etc., but you haven't tried to please yourself. You already see no point in rewarding yourself because you aren't getting the validation you deserve from these people, but remember.. You must learn to ask for your own validation because, at the end of the day, we only have ourselves. I know that you guys love the work you do and you guys think it's the best, but you lose your encouragement because of them, so stop going to them for it and find your validation from within.

As I was reading, 11:11 pm appeared on my phone, and this angel number is about the journey of having your manifestation come to you. This shows that you are on the right path and that you shouldn't give up. Keep moving forward and keep striving for what you want, not what others want. All of your manifestations are coming to you; you truly do not have to worry!

Your soul tribe will also be focusing on how you express your power within—basically, how you express how you feel with others and how you can show who is boss. They want to help you understand that everyone is powerful because they're the boss of their reality and that no one should stop them from doing what they love. I hear that a lot of you guys want to focus on the art industry, but the people around you will not support you with it because it's ‘’impossible=ble’’ to make money as an artist, but remember this: whatever you desire, whatever you want, if you keep doing what makes you happy, you will have what you desire because your vibration increases to the right frequency to gain this abundance. In other words, keep doing what makes you happy, and abundance will appear because of the happy energy that is within you. This goes for the rest of you as well. Some of you guys are thinking about majoring in business to have your own business, and you want to have the knowledge to have it, so keep striving for what you believe will work.

With the knight of pentacles, this card speaks about efficiency, hard work, and responsibility, which explains why I mentioned manifestations. Your soul tribes are already master manifestors; whenever they want something, it always comes to them because they have a strong belief system and they have done what they wanted. They will show you the same knowledge they have learned because they know that you are worthy of it and that everyone deserves this knowledge. They go by the motto ‘’knowledge is power.’’ They know it is powerful and can be used in the wrong way. That is why they are selective with the right people because they don't want anyone to harm this knowledge. At the same time, they do it without expecting anything, despite the hard work they put in to show their friends or tribe all about it. They know that no one in it will use it maliciously, and they have a feeling in their heart, or heart chakra, that no one in their tribe will trick them. So, you should stop seeing yourself as a bad person too. How can a ‘’bad’’ person be a part of this welcoming and trustworthy tribe if they believe that those who are good within deserve this knowledge? No, they do not believe that a bad person on the outside isn't worthy of it. They can feel the energy of people and will determine if their hearts are good. For example, my intuition tells me that one of your soul tribe members is a criminal who killed many people but has made amends with their dues. They have changed drastically to the point where they are an advocate for those who have their children killed and will protect anyone.. Does this sound like a bad character? No, it is not—definitely not in my book and surely not in theirs. My intuition also tells me, ‘’my dear, you have a harsh conception of what is wrong and right. You must reduce this negative thinking and understand what it is like.. To be someone who is actually bad, you are a good soul, and you are deserving of love. Change your mindset to meet your tribe.’’

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Pile III

The star, queen of wands (reversed), and king of pentacles (reversed).

Before I explain who your soul tribe is, I want to get in depth with how you feel before I tell you. I feel a huge sense of jealousy, possessiveness, anger, frustration, etc. I want to take control of other people and treat them like puppets. But these are not my thoughts. These are your thoughts, your inner feelings, and how you have been projecting to other people because you deem yourself worthy, but everyone else is incompetent compared to you. You have a stick up your ass. And you can get mad at me if you like to, but I like to keep my readings as honest as I can. So, I want you to fully understand that everyone is intelligent in their own way. People will not have the same hobbies as you and will not understand things the same way you do. If everyone was like that, everything would be boring and monotonous. Do you want a world that is like you for every single thing? That would be like cloning yourself constantly, and you would be sick of it. I know you would be. So reduce your possessive energy because if you don’t, you will not find your soul tribe, and I want you to. I want you to improve yourself as a person and find the people who are going to elevate you to a higher level. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. Everyone is deserving of love, no matter what happened in their past, because the past is the past. But you must make that change in your life to have what you desire in it. You must change your thoughts—you wonder why the things that you want aren't coming into your life; you aren’t aligned with what you desire. You are only aligned with negativity because your mindset is negative.

To start off with your soul tribe, who are they? Your soul tribe will give you the hope that you want. I know that a lot of you have had extremely shitty childhoods and that you’re actually projecting that feeling because your father or your grandfather always said that they were better than you, that they are better than other people, and that no one is deserving of anything good except them. I’m hearing a huge God complex. And it is okay to think of yourself as worthy, great, and powerful. To have a mindset like this where you think you are better than everyone and you’re more superior really allows your ego to win, and instead of allowing yourself to fully understand and be like, “ok I’m not better than everyone else, but I’m not worthless either; I’m worthy of things I desire, and that is my truth.” This will help you understand that you don’t have to go all the way into that mindset to be confident. You can be confident and empathetic toward other people.

I’m also feeling that when you do reduce this mindset and find your soul tribe, you are going to be happy and full of abundance in your life. You are going to be able to feel a sense of fulfillment like a phoenix when it dies. Think of the tarot card for death. Death represents a new chapter in her life, like our old shelves have melted away and we are coming to our path, and a stronger version of us is a more healthy, more compassionate part of ourselves that we used to deem unworthy because it showed vulnerability, but vulnerability is okay to have. Vulnerabilities and emotions make us human, and it’s completely normal to have them. When we become more tuned to our vulnerability and emotions, we experience more peace and happiness. You cannot have happiness and peace without understanding your emotions.

With your soul tribe, they will teach you how to release anger and how to release your anxiety. You have this assumption that you are just pure consciousness, that the thoughts that you have in your mind or just pure experiences don’t necessarily exist, and as you breathe in and out, you will allow your mind to let your thoughts pass by, like driving a car. They will teach you how to go into the roots of your trauma, and they will teach you how to use those roots in a positive way instead of allowing them to affect your life in a negative way. They will teach you how to earn abundance in your life without having a greedy mindset. With the king of pentacles reversed, this card focuses on greed, indulgence, and sensuality. Basically, my intuition tells me they will be teaching you how to lift off your spirits into a higher light to achieve your higher self, because my tarot card that has king of pentacles is a man who has veins, trees, and roots covering him and chaining him up. There are animals near him, and in the background there’s a fox, and then his hair is scattered and pulled up, but on top is a white circle. So my intuition tells me this is you; you are the man here. The roots that are around the man are your thoughts and the possessiveness that you have at the moment. The animals surrounding him are your soul tribe. There is a fox, a raccoon, and a badger.

Foxes are known to be highly intuitive, and they are playful and secretive, but they are compassionate to those who are close to them. Raccoons are smart. They have great solutions to their problems, and they think I have a box. They focus on their surroundings, and they’re very present in the moment. Badgers are those who protect others and themselves, and they want to fulfill what they desire, mainly about humanity as well. My intuition tells me that badgers like to help other badgers, they like to help themselves, they like to make a community, and such.

So why am I explaining to the animals that I see you? My intuition tells me that each animal that is in my tarot card is your community or your soul tribe. I hear the leader is the fox, the people in your soul tribe are the raccoons, and you are the badger deep down inside. I know you are the badger. Despite possessing that negativity energy that you had surrounding you before your trauma developed, you were extremely sweet, so damn loving, and so helpful that you were always there for other people. But then things start to happen, and you start chaining up that sweet and loving soul and a fear to protect yourself, but I want you to remember that it’s okay to be a good person to care about other people. Just try to make sure that you know who the good people are and who the bad are, and if you cannot tell, try to use your intuition. And do not tell me that you do not have intuition because you had to find this pile that was right for you. You must learn to trust yourself, because that is how you will find your soul tribe too.

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[whalyrae]

DANCE WITH ME - CHAPTER 7

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.”

Summary : All your life, you thought you were a beta, a simple and boring beta. Until everything change. But now that you've presented yourself as an omega, how will you manage to live and hide it from your six friends and best friend, all alphas and all in the same pack? (a/n : I'm a shit for summary I'm so sorry-)

Genre : soulmate au (of course I'm a bitch for this), omegaverse, bangtan alphas au!, omega reader, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 5k

Warnings : the usual one I guess, like smut, angst, fluff (yeah its a warning for some people ) mention of depression, abusive parents (physically and morally), violence and blood, PTSD, scars, self harm,…

Tag list : @ghostlyworld @kawaiikpoplover268 @scuzmunkie @iamkookiesforyou @00ihatesnaku @stellauniverse @akemiixx01 @aceofcards05 @strxwbloody @seoul9711 @amara-mars @alex-walker-86 @yoongicatcat @xicanacorpse @maciesmess 

A/N : It took me more time than I thought to write this sorry (again ;-;) dealing with mental health issues is shit really I wish I was strong and courageous like my characters LMAO. So as an apology, this chapter is a little longer than usual :D Hope you'll like it !

I'll never thank u enough for all the likes and shares despite the looong time I take to write and publish the next chapters ;w; that's my only motivation to keep writing the story tbh...! (I have severe impostor syndrome yes...... ^^) so thank you again !! Don't hesitate to let a comment here, or in my inbox !! ♥

Also I made a playlist for the story ! If you have any songs who made you think about the story, you can share it to me and I'll add it on the playlist ! ♥

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Chapter 6 // Chapter 8

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

A/N² : again it's barely proof read, sorry for the potential mistakes TwT

. . .

The day has come. The practice exam was this afternoon. 

When you woke up this morning, you felt like you wanted to throw up. Being stressed was an euphemism. You didn’t even know why you felt like that. You spent the previous weeks practicing, alone and with Wooyoung. You even had some help and advice from his boyfriend, San. 

You never get why you were so stressed. Once the music started, all the anxiety and apprehension would disappear. It had always been that way when you danced. 

These last few months, your body was really testing you, and you weren't thanking it at all. 

You knew the steps perfectly, you and Wooyoung’s coordination and synchronization were perfect. You were more than ready, you knew it. And despite that, you were anxious, sure you’d fail everything, having bad notes, failing your scholarship after working so hard…

“Y/N ?”

The sudden voice startled you. In your kitchen, you were the last remaining in this apartment. Your roommates had already left, wanting to rehearse one last time before the exam. 

You would have done the same, but the stress and anxiety had given you such a stomach ache that it took you longer to get out of bed. 

You weren’t surprised to see Jimin not really anxious. You'd never seen him stressed when it came to dancing. And from the relaxed attitude Hoseok and Jungkook had shown since you'd met them, you suspected they were in the same category as Jimin. 

When you recognized the voice and noticed Jin facing you, you couldn't hide your surprise. 

“I thought you all left for work ?” you asked him, trying to stay calm. 

“Yoongi don’t need me at this hour,” Jin replied with a chuckle, “I'll be more of a nuisance than anything else. Is everything all right?”

You noticed the two cups of coffee held in his hands when he handed one to you. You silently thanked him and took a sip after blowing on the top of the cup to not burn yourself. It was delicious. Jin's coffees were the best. He'd never forgotten how you took it, ever since the first time he'd served you on the day you met. 

"I can smell your stress from the doorway, you know?" he said after a few seconds, seeing that you didn't answer because you simply didn't know what to say. 

You chuckled and pursed your lips, it was a nervous laugh. 

"Is it that obvious?"

"Trust me there's a picture of you next to the word anxious in the dictionary!"

Okay, the next laugh was more relaxed, more sincere. Jin had this sense of humor that some might find heavy and boring, but it was just the opposite for you. You were always the first to laugh at his jokes, sometimes even against your will. But what could you do? Jin was naturally amusing. He had a way of lightening the mood quickly and with just a few words. 

“Everything will be fine, you don’t have to worry about that.” He kept talking, as he took a step towards you, "You've worked hard, you've done your best, there's no reason for you to fail. Don't forget that you're good, you're really good."

Delicately, his hand came to rest on your shoulder, provoking a slight discharge that was anything but painful. 

How had you never noticed that what you felt for them, for him, wasn't friendship? That need you felt with every physical contact, your heart racing, your stomach twisting in such a pleasurable way. 

You felt both foolish for having been so blind and in denial all this time, but at the same time relieved to have finally been able to put a word to all these things, to finally have a clear vision of the situation. 

The only thing you couldn't control, and wouldn't control, would be the boys' reaction when you admitted to them that you were an omega. Because yes, now that the end of exams had arrived, and on top of that, you were going to be entitled to two weeks' rest, you were going to have to tell them (part of) the truth. You'd promised yourself you'd do it, you couldn't back out. Especially as your next heat could come at any moment. 

Perhaps that's also where the stress came from, that uncertainty, that lack of knowledge about the coming heat you were so worried about, about how you were going to manage it, about...

"Y/N... you're overthinking again."

You bite your lips nervously, shaking her head with a nervous smile. 

“Ah, yes, I’m sorry… I guess it’ll be better at the end of the day !”

Jin shook his head with a chuckle, and his face changed quickly from a most serious one, maybe the most serious face she had seen since she met him. 

“I’m sure it’s more than just… this exam, but you won’t talk to us, nor Jimin. You know we could never leave you, or judge you, no matter what it is ?”

So they all noticed you were acting differently, didn't they? Of course, they could. You weren’t the best to hide when something was wrong. And even if you were, Jimin could read you like an open book. And you did not doubt that he would have later confided to his partners. 

“I know, and it’s the same for me, I just… need to get done with this exam first.” you began, your voice trembling, “I know I haven't been... the most agreeable person lately, and I'm sorry for that, sincerely…”

You looked away, for some reason feeling your eyes sting, as if you wanted to cry. 

“Hey, hey, listen... look at me, please,” Jin's hands rested delicately on your cheeks. He waited patiently, and resumed once your eyes met, “You don't have to apologize, we all go through moments more tense, more difficult than others that make us more tense and nervous, no one here holds it against you, believe me.”

You nodded. He wiped the few tears from your eyes and leaned to place his lips on your forehead. And it's a good thing you had a certain amount of self-control, that you could restrain your actions, your desires, and your impulses, because the only craving you had right now when you felt Jin's soft lips against your forehead, was to raise your face and have your lips meet his. 

It was the hardest thing you'd ever had to do. 

“Ah, I have an idea !” he exclaimed as he stepped back, leaving you with a very unpleasant feeling of emptiness, “I'll drive you to your class, we'll go through the café, and Yoongi will give you croissants and coffee for you, Minnie, Kook' and Hobi!”

You blinked several times, not taking your eyes off him while he moved into your apartment to grab your bag.

“Wait!” You called out as you grabbed his arm, “I thought Yoongi didn’t want to be disturbed before the opening?” 

"Oh don't worry, we’ll be quick. Plus if it's you he won't say anything." Jin shrugged with a smirk as he handed her her bag, “You know, he doesn't show it, but he has a soft spot for you.”

You raised your eyes to the sky, trying to prevent your body from betraying you, but you couldn't. You could already feel your face and ears heating up. You knew Yoongi's temperament; he had his own way of showing affection to the people he loved. You also didn't doubt that he cared for you, but to use the word “soft spot”... 

“You're blushiiing...” Jin suddenly teased. 

“I'm not!” you exclaimed as you walked past him with your head down hiding any hints of blush if there were one, “Let's go! I don't want to be late!"

You didn't want Jin to be able to see what effect this was having on you, what effects they all were having on you. And that damn body that would only betray you... the coward! 

“Yes ma'am!” Jin couldn't hold back his giggle and stepped out with you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. The warmth of his embrace, his very singular scent didn't help your mood at all. “Aaah what are we going to do with you, little tsundere!”

“I'm not a... argh, you know what, never mind!” 

You didn't know why, but you had a feeling it was going to be a very long day. 

°°°

When you arrived at the dance hall less than an hour later, you quickly spotted Hoseok, Jungkook, and Jimin chatting with each other. Jungkook was the first to spot you and waved to you with his eternal big smile that melted you every time. 

You looked around for San and Wooyoung, remembering the day before that Wooyoung told you that some of the second and senior-year students would be there to watch the first years, which added a layer of stress because some of them, being alphas, were the ones who had almost harassed you to be an omega at the beginning of the year. 

But as you and Wooyoung had said to each other in the café when you first met: "We'll take the opportunity to nail all those pretentious alphas who like to spend their lives looking down on us!" 

And that was your main motivation right now. 

"Noona! We're here!" he exclaimed, drawing the attention of several students to you, which you decided to ignore because all their attention would be on you in about a dozen minutes anyway. 

"Oh great pastries!" exclaimed Jimin, taking the box from your hands as you handed it to him, "They're from Yoongi hyung!"

"Thank god, I love him so much, I'm starving..." muttered Jungkook who didn't wait to open the box and take out a cupcake which he bit into instantly. 

“Oh, you have Jin's scent on you...” Hoseok didn’t seem to be interested in pastries and approached you. You almost had the impression he was humming you quickly. "Hey, you're wearing his hoodie!”

You and Jin had gone to the café where Yoongi was already, and as Jin had told you earlier, Yoongi's face, initially shut and ready to scold Jin by reminding him that he didn't like to be disturbed in the morning, had immediately softened on seeing you appear beside him. Jin noticed this immediately and didn't stop himself from pointing out that he'd been right by giving you a little nudge on the shoulder and a chuckle, making you grumble as you did your best not to blush again. 

Yoongi of course understood why Jin had brought you along, because like everyone else, he knew that this day was important for Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok, and you. 

He didn't ask any questions, he didn't even say a word. He just walked away and packed some pastries he knew you or the boys would enjoy, and you even noticed that he'd slipped a Strawberry Shortcake into the box, your favorite.  

When he walked to you and handed you the box, you could have sworn he brushed his fingers against yours on purpose, sending a long shiver down your spine. But he didn't notice, or so you hoped because even if he did, you didn't see any reaction from him. 

Once back in Jin's car, you noticed that you'd forgotten your jacket at the apartment, and unfortunately, you didn't have time to go home again. Jin hadn't hesitated to give you his hoodie, a café-au-lait-colored hoodie that was far too oversized for you, and you were floating in it, which made him laugh.  

The reason you couldn't say no was his smell. Like all of them, Jin had a very particular scent, very sweet but very strong, which invaded your whole being the moment the hoodie's fabric settled on your body. That same warmth returned to your stomach and probably also to your face, but Jin couldn't see it since you'd pulled the hood over your head. 

How could a simple piece of clothing make you feel so safe? 

“Noona? Noona!” Jungkook’s voice startled you, “Is everything fine? Don’t tell me you’re stressed!”

You blinked a few times and noticed your four friends staring at you, Jimin looking a little more worried than the others. Perhaps because he knew you best. 

“Ah yes, yes I’m fine!” you assured with a small smile, "Of course I'm stressed, not to be would be a sign of recklessness!"

"Well, I'm not really..."

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" you exclaimed, cutting off Hoseok who just couldn't help but laugh, "Ah and yes it's Jin's hoodie, I forgot my jacket at the apartment..."

"You could have asked me, I would have given you mine," Jimin muttered before receiving a small elbow from Hoseok. You looked at him, confused, and rubbed the back of your head with a shy smile. 

"You can give it to me if you want. No, wait... that's not what I meant..." you frowned, more to yourself, and tried to hide the heat wave by imagining yourself having not only Jin's scent but also Jimin's on you. 

"Oh no? What did you mean then?" Jungkook leaned towards her with a small smirk, "If you want I can pass you mine too, and I'm sure Hobi will do the same!" 

You frowned as you realized that Jungkook was starting to tease you, suspicions confirmed when Hobi also tapped him on the shoulder. But the mere idea of being surrounded by all the smells of your roommates and friends was enough to send a wave of warmth through your lower belly and your whole being. 

You had to change the subject, avoid the conversation going any further, or maybe find Wooyoung... 

Just when you needed it most, Wooyoung came up behind you and almost jumped on your back, snatching a laugh in the process. 

"Yo, did you miss me?" said Wooyoung in a cheerful tone who had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, he turned to your three friends and greeted them, a thin smile on his lips as he saw Jimin's reaction. It had reached the point where Wooyoung liked to make fun of Jimin's reactions, as he was the one who was the most protective of you, and according to Wooyoung, even jealous and possessive. But you still refused to believe it, being 100% certain that Jimin felt nothing but deep friendship. 

"You can't even imagine," you said ironically, rolling your eyes before grabbing Wooyoung's wrist and pulling you away from your three friends, "there's one last thing we need to discuss, good luck for later!"

"If you think we need luck..." chuckled Jungkook, making you roll your eyes at him again.  

You quickly walked away with Wooyoung, isolating yourselves in a corner of the dance hall, before letting out a long sigh.

"Wow, you don't look good, tense? Don't worry, we'll handle it!"

"Partly, but not only, there's something really weird going on..." 

You quickly told Wooyoung what had happened with Jin, then your reaction to your previous conversation with Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok. 

He remained silent for a few seconds after your explanation, before simply shrugging his shoulders. 

"It's a common thing with omegas, it's called a nest. Well, it's not a nest, but your behavior bears a strong resemblance to one." 

Seeing your confusion, Wooyoung gave a little laugh, not a mocking laugh, but an affectionate one, because indeed, you had a lot to learn. 

He then explained to you that a nest is usually a place where an omega can be comfortable and relaxed, whether they are in heat or just having a bad day. It mostly is the omega’s couch, filled with soft things, the most smelling like their mates if they have one. When they are mated, omegas can share their nest with their partner. 

"But that's the basic definition, made by idiots who like to put us in cases. It's happened very often with us that one of our alphas made a nest himself, because as long as it comforts them, why does it have to be only for omegas?" 

You nodded and smiled. Well, of course, Wooyoung was right, and when you learned this, you wondered why you'd never heard of what a nest was before today. Having grown up in an all-alpha family, a very closed-minded family at that, you weren't surprised that they didn't practice this sort of thing. Thinking back to your mother and sister, you realize that they could both use a little bit of it. As well as a good therapy.

"So that means it's not a sign that I'm going into heat?" you asked, a long sigh of relief leaving your lips as Wooyoung nodded. "Good, I wish I could tell them before it happens, I wouldn't like to... force it on them you know." 

"I understand, don't worry. Are you planning to tell them today?" 

You'd had a long talk with him the day before, about your decision to tell Jimin and your friends that you were an omega, to tell them the whole story. 

"Don't forget that if anything goes wrong, our door is wide open to you! Hongjoong hyung will welcome you with open arms, even though I'm sure everything will go perfectly!"

Wooyoung's optimism could be contagious at times. But he was right, you shouldn't think about the negative, you knew your friends after all, and you knew Jimin better than anyone else in this world. They wouldn't reject you for that. 

You hadn't had time to reply, the teachers, and a few senior students, including San, entered the room. The first-year students fell silent, knowing that the serious part was just about to begin. 

°°°

"Wait, you're first?!"

Jungkook exclaimed, looking at the grade board a few hours later. He turned to Wooyoung and you, as did several students who whispered words you didn't even understand. 

Slowly, you walked over to the board and looked at the sheet of paper on which the grades were written.

Jungkook Jimin and Hoseok were second. It had to be said that their performance was incredible. They had successfully mixed their solo and trio performances, creating a highly original tableau while respecting the given instructions. 

But apparently, the teachers preferred you and Wooyoung's performance. Even if there were only five small points that set you apart from your friends. 

A week before the exam, you and Wooyoung came up with the idea of teaching each other's solo choreography to the other. The solo instruction was that the creation had to be original and from the student himself, and there was no indication that the duo dance partner couldn't participate. Several of you had this idea in your class.

It seems this technique had paid off because you were now top of the class. 

"I don't believe it... Y/n pinch me please," asked Wooyoung in a whisper, before letting out a little scream as you obeyed. "Hey, that hurts!"

"You asked me to pinch you!" you exclaimed, turning to face him. 

"But it wasn't serious! Ah, we're first noona, we made it!" Wooyoung's face lit up and he took you in his arms, making you burst into a frank laugh, but also a way of letting out all the stress accumulated over the last few weeks. 

You hugged Wooyoung for a few seconds, unable to hide your joy and relief at having achieved such a formidable accomplishment, knowing the talented dancers in your group. Of course, you couldn't help but feel a hint of satisfaction at being able to rise above Jimin and your friends. 

You, who'd always had that imposter syndrome when dancing alongside talented dancers like Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok, seeing your name inscribed in front of theirs made you realize that you belonged here, that you deserved it, like them, like Wooyoung.

San called Wooyoung, who jumped into his arms and couldn't help but share his joy with his boyfriend. San hugged him back, praising him. He stretched out his hand to you, and you gave him a high five as he winked at you.

"Noona!"

You turned to Jimin, who was walking towards you with a smile like you'd never seen before. Behind him, Jungkook and Hoseok seemed to be just as happy for you, and that only made your heart beat faster. 

You'd always known that between you and Jimin, there'd never been any competition, but you'd had this little thought that maybe Jungkook and Hoseok wouldn't be like him, and you were so relieved to find out that you were wrong. 

“It’s amazing, you are amazing!”

Jimin couldn't resist taking you in his arms, hugging you tightly. This time, you couldn't refuse this hug, you needed it. The stress of the last few weeks was fading away, and you missed your best friend's touch more than ever. 

Anyway, you'd tell them tonight that you were an omega, you didn't want to hide anymore.

°°°

Or maybe, you could wait a little more? 

Because now that you were probably a few minutes before telling (one of) the deepest secrets you ever had, you didn’t know if it was a good idea. 

They were all here, you were all in Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi’s apartment. They had decided to order a multitude of dishes and side dishes, which you shared on the coffee table. At the center of the table was a large bouquet made by Taehyung himself, who couldn't help himself when he heard how well Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok and you'd done. 

“Y/N please, don't forget us when you'll be one of Beyoncé's main dancers, okay? I'd love to have an autograph!”

You nearly choked on your soda at Jin's remark, causing general hilarity. 

“I don't want to dance for Beyoncé!” you couldn't help but laugh despite it, and you got up to grab a towel from the kitchen to wipe yourself off, “ah I swear Jin... you do have an imagination...”

You rolled your eyes as you heard them still laughing and joking about it. From the kitchen, you had a perfect view of the living room and your friends. They were eating, laughing, and teasing each other. There was no negativity in the room. You didn't want to risk ruining it now. But at the same time, you told yourself that if you didn't do it now, you'd never have the courage to do it again. You'd then have your heat without the ability to hide it, things could then degenerate one way or another, and you could lose them forever. 

The thought only was enough to bring tears to your eyes. 

“Hey Y/N, everything okay?”

Yoongi's voice startled you, and you realized that he had joined you in the kitchen. The others didn't seem to have noticed your sudden tension, too busy with their conversations, unlike him. 

You didn't answer, just stared at him blankly at first, and could read the worry in his eyes, but also that little spark of gentleness that was so peculiar to him, a look that could give courage to anyone for whom it was intended. That look meant “You can do it, everything will be all right.” 

It was the same feeling you had when you spoke to Jin earlier this morning, except that Jin passed it on with his words. 

Your heart beat too fast, your mouth went dry. You had to do it. 

Without breaking eye contact, you finally opened your lips, and the words came out slowly, in an insecure, trembling voice. 

“I'm an omega.” 

The others didn't seem to hear you. Yoongi remained silent for a few seconds, without saying a word. Seconds that seemed to last an eternity. Seconds when you had time to imagine the worst possible scenarios, and he seemed to have guessed it.

It was only when he gently took your hand in his that you noticed it was shaking. 

“I know.” he murmured in a soft, reassuring voice, seeing your eyes widened with surprise and confusion, he shook his head with a small laugh, ” Later.”

You opened your mouth to reply but soon saw Jimin's face in your sight. 

“Noona! What's the matter? Are you alright? Did you burn yourself? you-”

“Jimin, let her talk, will you?”

This time it was Namjoon who had spoken, his voice sounding just as reassuring as Yoongi's. Everyone had fallen silent and was staring at you. You looked at each of them, ending with Jimin, whose gaze was filled with unspeakable concern.

You felt a slight pressure on your hand from Yoongi, who wanted to give you the courage to go for it. 

So, like with him, you did your best to gather your thoughts, to coordinate your voice and the words that should come from your lips.

“I... I am an Omega...”

Unfortunately, your voice was shakier than the first time. You couldn't help feeling even more ridiculous as you felt your eyes sting with tears.

“I am sorry... truly sorry I... I didn't mean to hide it...” you managed to articulate, ”I thought I was a beta until... recently and... I panicked.” you take a deep breath as you squeeze Yoongi's hand a little tighter, ”I'll understand if you're angry with me, if you don't want to be friends anymore or...”

“Don't be ridiculous!” 

You recognized Jimin's voice and embrace, which came suddenly, but which you accepted with barely hidden relief. His voice was shaking.

“You're my best friend, the most important person in my life as if that could change over something as trivial as that!”

You couldn't hold back a tear that ran down your cheek. Tear that couldn't finish its way when Yoongi ran his finger over your cheek to wipe it away. 

“It doesn't matter if you're an omega, an alpha, or a beta. You're our Y/N, we love you just the way you are!” exclaimed Jungkook, who sounded just as relieved as Taehyung and Jin. 

Namjoon nodded with a small smile and approached you. You had trouble seeing him, as Jimin had decided to cling to you. 

“It happens frequently actually. You think you are an alpha, and it turns out you're a beta, or an omega, or the other way around.” He explained, placing his hand on your hair as you acquiesced, which he began to stroke in a way that was intended to be gentle and reassuring. 

“You all don’t seem that surprised…” you said as you remembered words a few minutes ago, and when you heard Jungkook cough, you turned to him, confused. 

“I… I heard you a few weeks ago, you were on the phone with Wooyoung… Yoongi hyung heard me and we told the others…”

Ok, this one you didn't see it coming. But in the end, it doesn’t matter anymore. 

“Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jimin finally asked, looking at you curiously, and somewhat a little hurt by your silence, which you thought was totally valid. 

“Minnie, can you let go of her ?” Hoseok asked with a little laugh. 

“No, I have months of hugs to catch up !” he exclaimed, his grip on you tightening a little, making the others sigh. But you couldn’t help but let out a laugh. You didn’t mind it at all. You need it more than anything right now.

Oh how you missed his embrace, his warmth, his scent all over you. It felt so good, so right to be in his arms. It felt like where you should be. 

It felt like home.

“I didn't tell you because... when I saw the disgust... the disappointment in my mother's eyes...” You shook your head, swallowing back your tears, “That's why she asked me not to come anymore. I couldn't have supported... I couldn't have supported losing you too...” You looked at Jimin who held you closer to him, "to lose you all..."

Admitting these words out loud was harder than you thought. You weren't the kind of person to talk openly about your feelings, fears, and anxieties. 

“I don't want things to change, I don’t want you to treat me differently...”

You bit your lower lip. Your heart was beating a hundred miles. 

“I hope I never have to meet your parents,” Hoseok said in a cold voice you'd never heard from him, and strangely you found it oddly seductive.

“What a bunch of assholes,” Taehyung said disdainfully.

“I'm not even going to correct you this time. What a bunch of jerks.” Jin shook his head, frowning.

“Look, who cares? You're an omega, so what? Is this about your heat? We'll find a way to deal with it, just like we do with our ruts. We don't care, that's not the most important.” Namjoon smiles affectionately at you, “The main thing is that you feel comfortable with us, that we're all comfortable with each other, that's how a pack works after all, isn't it?”

This time, you hid your face against Jimin's shoulder, unable to hold back your tears any longer. 

“Wait... did I say something wrong?” Namjoon asked somewhat panicked, making the others laugh, even you, between sobs. 

“Don't worry, some stress to relieve.” Yoongi grabbed Namjoon's hand, kissing his cheek at the same time, before moving back to the sofa. “She’s fine now, everything will be fine from now on.”

“Ah Noona, I was so scared!” Taehyung exclaimed as he came around to hug you from behind, his torso pressing against your back. 

All these weeks, all this stress, this tension, this constant fear of living through this fateful moment had just come to an end tonight. 

Wooyoung had been right, once again. Things couldn't have gone better. 

Perhaps there was still the feelings thing, but for the moment, you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted to enjoy this moment, this acceptance you'd never had before today. You just wanted to enjoy Jimin's warmth, which you'd missed so much, and Taehyung's, and even Jungkook, who'd added to the hug somehow. 

As Jimin said, he didn't let go of you all evening, snuggling up to you like a Koala to its branch. You don't remember how the evening ended, except that you found yourself lying in a bed between Hoseok and Jimin. 

And for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, you slept a nightmare-free sleep, your heart and soul as light as they'd ever been. 

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

The Babysitter (27)

A New Toy

MILF Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+

Summary: In need of money and a way to escape the problems at home, you get a job babysitting two lovely boys named Billy and Tommy Maximoff. What happens when you start to feel things you shouldn't for their mother? Will it bloom into love or leave you heartbroken?

A/N- I would just like to say that there will be some sensitive issues in this story such as alcoholism, homophobia, anxiety as well as more mature content such as smut so, if you continue to read this, please consider this warning.

The Babysitter Master list | General Master List

Chapter 27- W/c 8.2k This chapter contains 18+ smut

Tag list- @natsluttt @cerberus-spectre @dorabledewdroop @bibliophilicbi @hopelesslyfallenninlove @simpform1lfs @get-the-fuck-outta-here @natashaswife4125 @marvelwomen-simp @supercorpstan97 @aliherreraaa @aru-son @the-ox-fan20 (Comment if you want to be added)

A New Toy

A soft sigh left her lips as her foot kicked the door closed, her body leaning against it as her green eyes were hidden, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. Wanda's body relaxed against the door, the knowledge of a night without the boys something she wouldn't dare admit she was looking forward to even though she was. Yes, she loved the boys with her entire heart but, since the four of you returned home after the amazing trip away all those weeks ago, life had been non stop.

Work for the older woman was stressful, everything seemingly having piled up while she was away for the few days, leaving her an absolute mess to deal with and work overtime at the office, you being left to watch the twins until she would come home exhausted. The past few weeks were tiring, draining, and she was in dire need of a peaceful night with you, something to help her unwind.

Life, however, was also being cruel to you, your A Levels having started a couple weeks ago when Wanda had to be whisked away to the office nonstop, your body hunched over a desk for the majority of the day trying to revise your hardest for your exams, wanting to do your best to get into Shield University as that was your number one choice, them wanting the highest grades possible though.

When her eyes gently fluttered open, Wanda noted how quiet it was without the twins, who were seeming to grow irritated at how busy everyone else was, not being given the same amount of attention as usual, and guiltily smiled a little. It was quiet for once. No crazed noises, no inappropriate sounds, no excited or annoyed screams. Nothing.

Her brows furrowed at how quiet it was, you having promised to wait downstairs with a film ready when she had returned from dropping the boys off at Scott and Hope's house for a sleepover, her feet naturally guiding her towards the living room.

A blanket was scattered across the seat however there was nobody to occupy the seat, Wanda's smile fading a little. The older woman then ventured to the kitchen, her smile fading completely when she saw the plate of food she left out for you was still on the countertop, stone cold as it hadn't been touched, her body swiftly turning upon realising where you must have been.

Her feet carried her up the stairs with determination, knowing that she would have to physically drag you away from that desk to get you to relax, hoping to prey on your weaknesses and help you do something other than revising.

"Detka," she hummed out softly once she entered her room, able to see your figure slouched over the desk, hand resting on one of your hands as your brows furrowed, the older woman practically able to hear the cogs turning in your mind, your pen tapping against the wood in a slow tune. When you didn't respond, still lost in thought, Wanda moved towards your body, her arms wrapping around your shoulders, head resting on your shoulder. "Detka," she whispers into your ear, gaining your attention.

"Hmm?" You say, still not completely with her as you stare at the practice question in front of you. It was as if you were possessed by the piece of paper, unable to tear your gaze away from it.

"You need to have a break," she murmurs, her hands drifting across your body in a comforting and soothing way, trying to ease the tension that was building within your muscles from the awkward positions you had been sitting in all day.

"I'm fine," you mutter, not trying to be rude, just trying to focus on the work. You needed to pass this test with the best score you could possibly achieve, having felt like the last two papers in Psychology hadn't gone well. If you were going to go to one of the best universities, you needed the best grades. If you didn't get the best grades, you weren't going to get into the university. If you didn't get into the university, people would be disappointed in you. If you-

"Detka, you haven't eaten since breakfast and I bet you haven't had a break at all today," she says, forcing the spinning chair around so you were facing her, your eyes tired and clearly exhausted. "You need to stop for tonight alright? If you keep trying to force it in your mind, it won't stay in." You looked at the floor slightly embarrassed, she was right. You weren't going to be able to remember anything if you carried on like this. You were just wasting time and energy.

"I need to know it all by Monday though," you mutter, still stressing about it despite her logical point, her face softening while her hands cup your jaw, thumbs caressing your cheeks. You gaze into her enticing green, losing yourself momentarily in the various shades of them and the way love and care swirl in them, delicately entwined with one another.

"That gives you all of tomorrow and Sunday to revise then," she whispers, trying to get you to think properly about it instead of draining yourself like this. She understood your worry though, she knew how much you wanted to get into Shield Uni. "With breaks," she adds in a light-hearted tone to ease the mood, the corner of your lips tugging up a little at the soft smile that breaks out onto her face. "There's that smile I love," she whispers and your cheeks instantly flush red at that, your mouth parting and closing, unsure of how to function after her affectionate words.

Instead, you pull her body towards you, standing between your legs as you hug her middle, pressing your face against her soft jumper. You relaxed when one of her hands threaded through your hair, scratching your scalp to have your body practically melting against her, almost lulling you to sleep.

"Come on Detka," she says, your eyes reluctantly fluttering open as she moves her body away from yours, a small pout sneaking onto your lips as the physical touch is lost. You watch her walk towards the ensuite, the sound of water running gently sounding around the room before she appears at the door frame, watching your confused expression. You look back at the unfinished sixteen marker, part of your mind wanting to finish it, to carry on revising but the other half telling you to go to Wanda.

"What are you doing?" You ask as you push yourself off the chair, casually strolling up to her as she kneels by the side of the bathtub, her hand feeling the water to check the temperature.

"We're going to have a bath," she says, a playful smile engraved on her face, standing up again and snaking her arms around your body, pulling you flush against her. "We both need something to relax," she says and you only suddenly realise how stressful the last few weeks must have been for her, the realisation evident in your eyes as she presses a finger against your lips to shush you. "Don't go down that spiral," she whispers softly, knowing your thoughts could venture down a negative route. "Get in Detka while it's warm, I'll be with you in a minute," she murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

It'sso soft, it's addictive and you wish it lasted forever. The stress of the last few weeks seemed to immediately vanish as soon as her soft, plump lips met yours, even for the briefest of moments, warmth bubbling inside you. You didn't want her to part from the kiss, wanting to feel them press against yours again, and again, the action seemingly needed to live. She was all you needed to live.

"Where did you go?" she whispers teasingly when she parts from the kiss, noticing how your eyes are still closed, a blissed out expression on your face as you open your eyes, meeting her gaze.

"I love you," you whisper, her cheeks tinting pink at the sheer amount of emotion behind your tone, the care and love that wrapped around each syllable as you ignore her question but say something far more important. She laughs a little softly, shyly, not used to hearing you say the words in such an adoring tone, her lips meeting yours once more, luring you back into that intoxicated state.

"I love you too Detka," she murmurs, matching your tone, her getting lost in your eyes for a moment before her voice becomes playful, "Now get in the tub."

You can't help the wide smile that breaks onto your face as you kiss her, a heart-warming chuckle leaving you as she lets out her angelic laugh, begrudgingly moving away from you and towards the door.

Once she's left, you waste no time in stripping your clothes, leaving them folded on the toilet seat lid before slowly getting into the tub, a sound of relief escaping you at the warmth encasing your body. The warmth of the water and the tranquil atmosphere quickly caused your muscles to relax, your body going limp against the white tub as your mind slowed, trying to clear it and truly enjoy the peace and quiet. Your hands gently moved within the water, creating small ripples that were only just visible, hidden by the various bubbles that were littered about the tub.

Your eyes only opened when the sound of the door closing caught your attention, fluttering open while your head turned over your shoulder, a smile taking over your face, eyes lighting up at the woman and the treat in her hands. She purposely took her time in travelling the short distance from the door to where you were, building your anticipation up as she bent over to press a kiss to your forehead, her hand passing the bowl to you, her lips lingering before pulling back.

Your eyes flickered down to the collection of cut up fruit in the bowl, your stomach craving something to eat, fingers wrapping around half a strawberry as the older woman pulled away from you completely. You turned your head once again to look at her, mouth frozen open, strawberry placed against your tongue, as you watched her strip, unable to tear your gaze away from her beauty.

Her arms elegantly pulled her jumper over her head, her shirt rising up at the action and exposing some soft, irresistible skin, her eyes watching you with amusement as your hand remained holding the piece of food in your mouth. She takes her time pulling her shirt over her head, teasingly pulling it higher and higher until it was finally off her, revealing her simple black bra. Your eyes couldn't help but flicker down to her chest, breasts practically spilling out of the cups when she leaned forwards while shrugging her jeans down, showing off her long, slender legs.

"My eyes are up here Detka," she teases, voice a little raspy as she unclasps her bra and slides her panties down, leaving her fully naked as she nears the tub, motioning for you to move forwards. It takes a minute to function properly, quickly eating the fruit that was in your hand and moving far enough forward for her to slide her body in behind yours.

Her arms quickly wrap around your middle, the feeling of her hands burning into your skin, the heat of the water earlier incomparable to the heat building between your thighs as she pulls you flush against her body, her breasts pressing into the back of you.

A soft and low sigh spills from her lips, fingers tracing random patterns into your skin as you focus on trying to breathe normally, the proximity and lack of clothes seemingly too much for your brain to handle.

"I was wondering Detka," she slowly whispers, your hands moving to interlock with hers, "If we could have a little chat about something, nothing bad."

Curiosity washes over you, turning your head to look at her, ready to see a questioning look in her eyes but only being met with desire.

"Sure, what's it about?" you whisper back, lacking the composure you wanted as your voice wavers, gaze lowering to her lips before snapping back up to the enticing green.

"Do you remember what I said to you that night on the deck, after everyone had left us alone?" your cheeks turn a bright red as her words were engraved in your mind.

I can't wait to fill you with a strap one day.

To take you from behind, having you begging me to come.

"Yes," you sigh out and the desperation can be heard in your voice as you imagine where this conversation was going.

"Good," she murmurs softly, claiming your lips briefly as she couldn't hold back, your submissive state working her up effortlessly. "I was wondering if we could talk about more things we want to try out during sex?"

You nod a little shyly, your body craving her touch but also desperate to hear where her words were going, wanting to hear the possible additions to your sex life.

"I'm going to name something and I want you to tell me whether it's something you want to try, are willingly to try or don't want to try," she speaks gently but with all the control needed, subtly showing of her dominance in another way as your mind is running too far with fantasies. "Answer me honestly Detka, I don't want you to say something because you think I'll like it."

"I won't," you whisper back to assure her that you'll be truthful.

"What do you think of strap ons?" she asks, despite knowing your answer.

Lewd images of her taking you with the toy filter through your mind, a wave of arousal washing through you at the idea of her pounding into you.

"I definitely want to try that," you murmur and it's so needy. You don't even try to hide it.

Wanda merely smirks at your reaction before pressing another kiss to your lips before you turn back around, leaning back against her body as the awkward angle was hurting your back.

"Choking?" She asks while moving her arms back around your body, gliding up and down the skin making it extremely hard to think. She was curious to know as you'd often hinted towards it but never fully said anything. You nodded in response, scared your words would fail you, causing Wanda to speak up, "I need words Detka."

"I want you to..." you trail off with your words, growing nervous at saying it, a low and sultry chuckle escaping her.

"You want me to do what?" she sighs out almost condescendingly in your ear, knowing exactly what you want her to do. To further tease you, she even raises one of her hands, letting it settle on the base of your neck, causing a groan to escape you at the pressure she applies.

"I want you to choke me," you whisper out after what feels like a lifetime of building up the courage, Wanda kissing the side of your cheek and smiling against you,

"Good girl," she praises, removing her hand and returning to tracing random patterns across your skin.

You can feel your heart pounding wildly against your ribcage, anticipation and want clawing at your mind as you let her roam her hands around your body, desperately wishing they would just travel that little bit lower.

"Spanking?" she husks out, voice low while her accent wrapped around her words delicately, your breathing becoming a little heavy as a noise of pure desperation leaves you.

"Yes," you sigh out, closing your eyes and leaning further against her body, watching the images of her bending you over and spanking you entering your mind over and over again.

"Where would you want it?" she murmurs, smirking as she places another kiss to your cheek, her hand trailing lower, "Here?" she teasingly askes, cupping your core, causing a low, sensual moan to escape you. "Or here?" her hands travel around your body towards your ass, a whine leaving you when she moved her fingers away from where you wanted her.

"Both," you whisper, your hands going to hold onto the side of the tub, knuckles bleeding white as she just continues to tease and taunt you.

"Yeah?" she hums out, the vibrations tickling your cheek as she places another kiss to your skin, smirking when she hears how your breath hitches. She then moves her mouth to your ear, a shiver running down your spine at her low breaths, "Do you want me to be rougher with you?" she husks out and fuck you were done for.

"Wanda," you whine and you don't hold back with how desperate you were, the noise earning a teasing chuckle to escape the older woman. She places a finger under your chin, tilting your head back to look at her, nothing but want swirling around in your eyes as they darken.

"Answer my question Detka," she whispers, purposely moving her lips closer to ghost yours, your mouth parting as shaky breaths leave you at the proximity.

"Please," is all you can muster, your hips pushing back subtly against her body, her hands moving back to your waist to hold you in place.

"Please," she murmurs back, mocking your tone of voice with a smirk, a hint of humiliation washing through you at how needy you must sound, arousal still pooling between your thighs though. "Answer me Detka, I won't ask again," she revels in the power she holds over you, watching how your face conveys the pure desire you feel for her.

At her words, you feel yourself clenching around nothing, a low groan escaping you before you manage to get the words out, "Please be rough with me, treat me how you want, please."

Her lips meet yours softly, hushing your pitiful sounds as you crave to feel her digits stretching you out, doing whatever she pleased with you. You lose yourself to the thought of her as her lips claim yours again and again, her tongue pushing past your lips and seeking entrance, dominating the whole kiss effortlessly.

Only when air was necessary did she pull back, her eyes fluttering open to reveal her enticing green darkened with lust, your eyes taking a little longer to open as you had to come back to reality after being kissed senseless.

"Do you have any other ideas of things you want to try out?" she mutters against your lips, connecting them again briefly before gaining some sort of self control, her eyes unable to be torn away from your lips though.

Your cheeks flush red at her asking you, a sudden wave of shyness taking over you, especially with the way she was gazing at you like she wanted to eat you alive.

"Oh Detka," she coos, chuckling a little at how your cheeks tinted even redder at her slightly condescending tone, "Don't get all shy now. Come on Dorogaya, tell me what you want," the way her accent perfectly wrapped around her last words, the slight rasp added to her voice, you were almost compelled to answer her.

"I want you..." you trail off, losing yourself within the various shades of green before continuing, "I want you to tie me up," her lips tug upwards into a smirk, her teeth then biting on her lower lip as various lewd thoughts enter her mind.

"I'd love to tie you up Detka," she rasps out, her mind still flickering through endless scenarios, "To have you squirming under me," she adds, voice lower to tease you.

"Fuck," you mutter, your skin burning as her nails scratch into your lower abdomen softly, dragging down until her hands were at your inner thighs, spreading your legs a little.

"Anything else Detka?" she asks, as if she weren't driving you insane.

"I-" your words are cut off by her hands sliding even closer to your core, your head moving to hide at the crook of her neck as, if she carried on looking at you like that, you were certain you were going to combust. "I want to try face-sitting," you mumble against her warm and slightly wet skin, the water in the bath a lot cooler than it was earlier.

"You want me to sit on your face Detka?" she teases and you groan against her at her tone and at how the pads of her fingers brush your clit. She chuckles at your reaction before whispering lowly, "I'm sure that can be arranged Dorogaya."

Her free hand guides you away from the safety of her neck, bringing you in for a passionate kiss before sighing softly, "Now relax Detka, let me take care of you."

Her hand finally touches where you so desperately needed, her mouth swallowing all the needy whimpers and whines as the rest of the night blurred, pleasure taking over your body again and again, until you both eventually collapsed into the sheets together, wrapped in each other's arms.

***

Stepping out of the double doors, relief washed over you as the fresh air wrapped around you, the sun gently streaming down over all of the students leaving the hall. You had finished College. Your last exam was done and there was nothing keeping you in this place anymore, you were free to leave and never return.

"Y/n," Natasha calls as she comes out of the hall, wide smiles taking over both of your faces at having completed another level of education together, having finished primary, high school and now college as a duo. "We did it," she sighs out, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and walking with you to the gates, laughter spilling from both of you.

"We did it," you repeat, the past few weeks of stress disappearing as it was finally over, you didn't have to spend all day revising and being scolded for not having breaks.

The two of you went back to the café you had sat in so many times, taking your usual seats and ordering the same as always, you typically eating some of Natasha's muffin as it was 'tradition' as you claimed, her letting it go as you were both so happy to be done with this big step in your lives.

Maria soon joined you two, her last exam having finished later, and swiftly joined her girlfriend on her side of the booth. The blue eyes lit up at the smile on the redhead's face, sitting close to her body before her soft gaze turned to you, a hint of mischief flashing across her face.

"I'd look away if I were you Y/n," she says and your brows merely furrow before she crashes her lips to her girlfriend, both of them smiling into the kiss while you just chuckle at Maria's antics, biting your tongue to refrain from all the teasing comments at the slight blush painted across your best friend's face.

The only reason you didn't tease her is that her green soon met yours, a warning look presenting itself in them making you shut up, knowing she had plenty of things to tease you about to Wanda later.

The plan for later was that all of you were going to have a meal at Melina's house, her wanting to celebrate with her daughter and you before the redhead left for the celebration party a few others from your year were having, Maria going with her while you were keen to find out what this 'surprise' Wanda had planned was, her refusing to tell you anything about it.

Before you knew it, you were walking into Natasha's house with Maria, ready to chill out in the garden until Wanda showed up and Melina called for food. You were going to go for your designated spot in the garden but the seat was occupied by a certain fluff ball, your face softening at the adorable brown eyes staring up at you, the way her tongue dangled out of her mouth as Fanny panted.

"Come on Fanny, we can share it," you mutter, trying to compromise with the dog as she happily stole your seat, Natasha chuckling with Maria who watched you attempt to persuade the dog to move. You scratched her head, your fingers running through her soft fur easily while trying to coax her out of your position, giving up entirely when she rolled over onto her back instead, wanting her belly to be rubbed instead. You couldn't help but laugh with the others as Fanny had been victorious, sitting on the floor in front of the seat and letting your hands play with her fur, casually petting her.

When Yelena eventually joined you, she couldn't help but tease you about your position, simply rolling your eyes at the blonde who, despite her words, joined you on the floor, her hand joining yours and stroking the soft fur that belongs to Fanny. You bickered playfully with Yelena, her purposely saying things to disagree with your statements, bumping against your shoulder to further annoy you playfully.

"You're only saying all of this to annoy me," you say laughing, shaking your head at the blonde with a smile engraved all over your face. "You can't possibly think American football is better than football."

"I can and I will," she says, not backing down, "Soccer isn't better than American football." Your jaw drops in shock at her blasphemous words, a sound of pure confusion leaving you.

"You- You don't even kick it in American football," you explain, a little passionately as football, in your eyes, was far better than the American sport and was definitely not called soccer. Yelena merely smirks at how determined you are to change her mind, staring at her with a firm stare until you get your point across. You explained to her many reasons as to why you believed you were right, Natasha and Maria being your backup as you asked for their opinions, Yelena still being that annoying amount of stubborn, still smiling at you. You were about to say more but the sound of angelic laughter interrupted your sentence, your gaze flickering over to the patio door where Wanda stood talking to Melina.

You snapped back to the conversation after a teasing comment from Yelena, who seemed incessant in annoying you today, only stopping the conversation when Wanda and Melena joined you, Alexie inside watching some old documentary about Russia.

"What are you girls talking-" Melina tries to ask, your gaze focussed on Wanda who walks closer to you, somehow managing to get Fanny to move and taking the seat behind you, placing a quick kiss to the top of your head and murmuring a gentle hello, your cheeks tinting red as Natasha and Maria both speak up at the same time.

"Don't," they both rush out, not wanting you to go on another little tangent about the whole topic, Yelena merely chuckling to herself at how you refrain yourself from speaking about it again. Instead, you stand up from the dry grass and sit next to Wanda, her arm subtly wrapping around your waist as you sit together.

Melina comes out occasionally to talk to Wanda, who's free hand pets the fluffy figure besides her, before leaving to check the food, the older woman remaining quiet and enjoying just listening to you talk with your friends, smiling at the nonsense and random things you would talk about. Her interest peaks when Natasha's smile turns mischievous, the redhead trying to reveal embarrassing stories about you to which you practically jump out of your seat to shut your best friend up. You attempts were to no avail as she reveals a humiliating tale, your cheeks flushed as you go back to sit next to Wanda who laughs softly at the story.

"So you're not only scared of chickens, but geese too?" she teases and you simply groan at her tone, Natasha unable to contain her laughter as she remembers the day. "Maybe you should just avoid birds Detka," she murmurs and you glare at Natasha who's still laughing.

"It wasn't my fault," you mutter, "I was just canoeing and minding my own business, there was no need for it to squawk at me and get pissed off." You remember the event clearly, you and Natasha sharing a canoe on a residential trip, your paddle going a little too close towards a goose for it's liking, a small scream leaving you as you practically jumped out of your skin when it loudly squawked at you and tried to swim after you two, Natasha unbothered as she was too busy laughing at you at the back of the canoe, fearing for your life as the animal chased after you both.

You were saved by Melina who called saying food was ready, all of you moving towards the dining room to eat. Wanda was sat to your side, her hand resting on your thigh when she was casually resting it, your gaze often flickering to the older woman during the delicious meal, your mind wandering to what the surprise later could possibly be. You admired her side profile, scanning over features while Melina tried to speak to you, your attention fixated on the goddess of a woman next to you.

"Y/n," Melina calls your name louder to get your attention, your cheeks turning red in embarrassment before answering her question in a shy tone, Wanda failing to hide her small smirk from you as she peers over at you.

The rest of dinner breezed by, you managing to not embarrass yourself anymore while everyone digested, Natasha and Maria deciding to leave soon as well as you and Wanda. 

Wanda thanked Melina, wrapping the woman in a brief hug before softly murmuring to you that she'd be in the car waiting for you as you said goodbye to the others, you smiling at her and watching as she leaves the house, eyes flickering down momentarily to watch her hips before snapping back up once remembering where you were. Melina made no comment if she saw your line of sight, bringing you closer for a hug which confused you a little as she would never let this many people hug her within a short space of time. The action soon made sense when she spoke up,

"He'd be so proud of you," she whispers in a caring tone, smiling at the older woman who just looks at you with a reminiscent look. You've grown so much in her eyes, and she was so grateful to Wanda for helping you find yourself again. "Now go and enjoy the rest of you night," she says before letting you leave, you laughing at the way she then seems to berate Yelena in Russian for doing something as you walked down the path, her saying goodbye once more when you reached the car.

***

"Are you going to tell me what my surprise is yet?" you ask Wanda, tilting your head to watch her as she drives you back to the empty house. The twins were currently at Vision's as part of the divorce agreement was that he got to see them once a month, the man having picked them up from school which was why Wanda was able to come over for dinner at the Romanoff's residence. She chuckles as she steers around the corner at your excited tone, her gaze flickering over to yours briefly before returning her gaze to the road.

"And why would I do that Detka?" She hums out, "It wouldn't be a surprise then," you can see the way the corner of her lips tug upwards, a small, subtle smirk etched onto her face as she continues to take you both home.

"I'll act surprised," you say playfully, your attempt at convincing her pitiful as she laughs softly once again. "Please just tell me," you say when she doesn't respond, just continuing to drive, occasionally looking over at you.

"You're just going to have to be patient Detka," she says calmly, your gaze looking out of the window to see you were nearly back home, only a couple of minutes away.

"You're just teasing now," you mutter while sitting back in your seat more comfortably, watching the scenery pass by. A low chuckle gains your attention, turning your gaze instantly to the alluring woman.

"Oh Dorogaya, if you think this is teasing you're in for a shock tonight," she rasps out, pulling up into the large driveway and swiftly securing the car, her gaze turning to you with a dangerous and predatory look in them. Your mind shortcuts at the way she seems to seduce you with just her eyes, arousal quickly pooling between your thighs as she leans closer to you, her mouth ghosting yours. Your eyes start to flutter close, ready to feel her lips against yours but nothing happens, your brows furrowing as you hear her car door opening. "Come on Detka, don't you want your surprise?" she teases, your hand rushing to unclasp your seatbelt as you rush after her, her hands turning the key and opening the front door.

As soon as you step into the house, your back meets the door roughly, her lips pressing against yours fervently as her body pins you against the hard surface, a moan escaping you. Her hands glide down your sides, resting on your hips as she slides her leg between your thighs, a low groan leaving your lips at the feeling of her pressed against your core, your mind blurred with arousal and pleasure.

Wanda effortlessly slides her tongue into your mouth, moaning into the kiss at the amount of hunger and desperation you both seem to pour into it, her pulling back briefly before biting down softly on your lower lip and dragging it back, releasing it and staring into your significantly darker eyes. Your lips are slightly stained by her faint lipstick and your pupils are blown with lust as you pant for breath against the door, her hands moving your hips a little to grind against her leg, a smirk tugging at her lips at how you loll your head back, baring your neck for her to mark.

"I'm so proud of you Detka," she purrs against the column of your throat while letting her mouth roam the warm skin, her lips placing hot, open-mouth kisses at the sensitive part of your neck to hear soft moans spilling from your lips. "Such a good girl doing so well in your exams," her low tone mixed with the praise causes heat to flood throughout your body, glad she was pinned against you otherwise your legs would have certainly given in. "I think you deserve a reward, don't you Detka?" She trails kisses up along your neck, then your jaw, ending her words with her mouth ghosting yours, inviting you to chase them. When you do, she cruelly pulls back, revelling in the power she holds over you as you desperately wish to feel her lips against yours.

"Yes," you sigh out, moaning when she finally gives you what she wants, crashing her lips back to yours with even more passion behind it. The kiss turns messy but you don't care, it's hot, it's desperate and it's everything you've ever wanted.

You moan in surprise when she moves her hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you away from the door, your legs wrapping around her middle as she takes you to your room, your lips refusing to part for a moment.

"Wanda, please," you plead when she lowers you onto the soft mattress, your legs keeping her firmly pressed against your body, fingers tangling into her auburn locks as she kisses you senseless, your body craving her touch.

"Patience Detka," she rasps out, moving to press a sensual kiss to the underside of your jaw, smirking against the skin as you try to buck your hips upwards against her body, trying to ease the incessant throb between your legs. You could feel the arousal pooling between your thighs, needing to ease the heat building there as you clenched around nothing, wanting to feel her inside you. "Don't you want to know what your surprise is?" she murmurs against your lips, noticing how to reluctantly still your hips, your eyes conveying the pure desperation for her touch.

"I do but I need you Wanda," you sigh out, the older woman biting her lip at your submissive tone, arousal clouding her mind as she gazes into your eyes.

"I'll give you what you want soon, I promise Detka," she murmurs, her hands slowly travelling down your body until they reach the hem of your shirt, her eyes holding your excited gaze, "As for now, are you going to be a good girl and listen?"

"Yes," you whisper out as that's all you could muster, coherent thoughts swiftly leaving your mind as she lowers her mouth to the shell of your ear.

"I want you to strip for me Detka," she rasps out, accent delicately wrapped around her words, "Then I want you to wait patiently for me, no touching yourself, do you understand?"

"Yes," you say again, being obedient and listening to her, your mind processing what she said, "Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm going to get your surprise ready," she says, pressing a reassuring kiss to your lips, "I won't be long." She swiftly climbs off your body and going into the bathroom, your brows furrowed but anticipation flowing through you as you do as she asked, stripping out of all your clothes and waiting on the bed, trying to listen to what she was doing in the other room. Your hands stay by your sides but you have a sudden urge to relieve yourself of the warmth that's settled at your core, your legs squeezing together.

Luckily for you, Wanda doesn't take much longer, opening the door to reveal herself in a new set of lingerie, the black lace perfectly accentuating her chest, your eyes flickering down her perfect body and freezing when you see what else she's wearing. A harness is wrapped around her lower half as a strap on is fitted against it, a low groan escaping you at what was about to happen.

"Please come here," you whisper, desperation dripping from your voice as she climbs back over your body, connecting your lips softly and halting your desperation.

"Remember you can use your safe words at anytime," she reminds in a caring voice, nodding against her quickly before she lets the kiss turn hungry, her hands roaming your expose skin, wasting no time in moving them to cup your breasts, teasingly ghosting her fingers over your nipples as you grind your hips up.

A broken moan is torn out of your throat at the feeling of grinding against the black toy, your needy noises being swallowed by the older woman.

"Wanda, please make me come," you beg, and you frankly don't care at how pathetic you must sound, your eyes pleading with her to give you what you want.

"You can beg better than that Detka," she teases in a low tone, adding to the burning heat inside your body as you need her to do something more. "Show me how much you want it," you moan lewdly into the kiss at her dominant voice, your hands moving to her back, needing to hold onto something.

"Please, I need to feel you inside me, Wanda, I need you so bad, I-" She interrupts your begging with a rough kiss, unable to hold back herself, her hand lowering to your core. Your head is thrown back against the soft mattress when she effortlessly slides a finger inside you, your eyes gazing into hers as soft moans spill from your lips as she curls it beautifully inside you.

"I need to stretch you out Detka," she says, answering your silent question and fuck those words shouldn't be as hot as they were. You clench around her finger, a sinful noise being torn out of you when she adds another finger, steadily pumping them into you. "Fuck Detka," she groans when you clench around her harder, her amazed at how warm and wet you were for her. "You're so wet for me," she rasps out, groaning when your nails dig into her back a little as your hips move against her hands, pleasure coursing through your body with every thrust of her fingers.

"Wanda," you sigh out in almost a chant, moaning her name over and over again as you near your orgasm, body buzzing with pleasure as her lips claim yours over and over again, mind intoxicated with the thought of her. "I'm so close, please," you moan out in between heated kisses, Wanda pressing an apologetic kiss to your lips as she slides her fingers out of you, denying you the relief of your orgasm.

A frustrated and pitiful noise leaves your throat at being left on edge, your protests quickly ending when she moves her fingers to your lips, motioning for you to clean them. You let her slide her finger into your mouth, groaning against her digit at the taste of yourself before you swirl your tongue around it, watching how her eyes darken, almost lost in arousal as she admires the sight of you under her.

She seems to snap herself out of her daze, sliding her fingers out and moving the toy to your core, breath hitching at the feeling of it pressed against your clit. She moves her hips forwards, grinding it against you earning a low, guttural moan, while coating the toy in your arousal.

"Are you ready Detka?" she whispers softly, moving the tip of the toy to your entrance, waiting for your consent.

"Yes," you sigh out, a little nervous at the initial part but comforted by the feeling of her lips pressing against yours as she guides the toy into you slowly. You moan as she stretches you out perfectly, the toy reaching spots you didn't even know existed as she slowly drags her hips back before pushing it back in, starting a slow, steady pace as you adjust to the size of it.

"You look so pretty stretched around my cock Detka," she husks out causing you to clench around the toy, a whimper escaping you as she starts to move her hips further out, thrusting the toy deeper inside you.

Soon enough, your nails are scratching down her back as she snaps her hips into you, the slow and steady pace gone as she pounds the toy into you, earning moan after moan as you lose yourself in the pleasure. Lewd noises fill the room as she thrusts into you over and over again, a choked moan ripped out of you when she moves her hand to the back of your thigh, moving it slightly higher and letting the toy slide even deeper inside you, her hips powerful as she fucks you senseless.

"Fuck Wanda," you groan out as she snaps her hips into somehow even harder, your orgasm swiftly approaching as the toy hits all the right spots inside of you.

"You love being my little slut, don't you Detka?" she pants out against you, letting her forehead rest against yours as her hips are relentless, pleasure and euphoria flooding through you when she hits a certain spot inside you, your vision blurring with how turned on you were.

"Yes," you almost scream as you can feel yourself teetering on the edge of the orgasm you so desperately crave. "Yours, your slut," you sigh out, throwing your head back against the mattress again as your hands hold onto Wanda, mind focussing on the feeling of the toy sliding in and out of you mercilessly.

"Mine," she mutters out, letting her mouth pepper kisses against any part of skin she could.

"Please can I come," you plead her, eyes opening to meet her lust filled green, begging her to let you.

"Come all over my cock Detka," she groans against your lips, connecting them and swallowing the scream that leaves your lips as pleasure crashes through your entire body, legs shaking as they wrap around her waist, keeping her close as you grind against the toy, riding out your aftershocks.

You sigh against her lips when your body trembles a little less with the overwhelming amount of pleasure, her chuckling against your lips at your blissed out expression.

"I'm not finished with you yet Detka," she murmurs, "Roll over."

"Fuck," is all you can say as her hands move to your hips, turning you over so you were laying on your stomach before pulling your hips up to easily slide the toy into you.

She starts off slow, letting you adjust to the new position, revelling in all the noises that spill out of your lips. The noises mixed with the sight of you, hands gripping the sheets and hips moving back against her causes something inside Wanda to snap.

She pulls out swiftly and slams the toy back into you, a scream of her name reverberating around the room as she fucks you at a brutal pace, indulging in her wants as the base of the toy brushes her clit with each powerful thrust of her hips.

You can't do anything but let your mouth part into an 'o' shape, letting noise after noise spill carelessly from your lips as your body buzzed with pleasure, her hands pulling your hips back to reach even further inside you.

"Detka," she groans, the toy brushing perfectly against her clit, "You're such a good girl, taking me so well," she pants out, her hips stuttering a bit as her own orgasm nears, her pace still merciless though.

"Wanda," the tone of your voice only spurs her on to fuck you harder, her hips slamming the toy harder into you as her hand wraps around you middle, pulling you up into kneeling position. Her mouth moves to your ear, letting you hear her ragged breaths, sending heat straight to your core.

"I'm so close Detka," she sighs out, moving her fingers down your body, letting her index finger gently circle your clit, your hips bucking back against hers. "I want you to come with me," she groans, your hips pushing back against hers and causing the base of the toy to rub against her just how she wanted.

With her words, her fingers, and the toy inside you, your quickly on edge of another powerful orgasm, your head leaning back against her body as you tilt it to the side, connecting your lips.

"I'm going to come," you whimper out when she ruts her hips against you, her mouth messily meeting yours as she moans into the kiss, both of you crashing head first into your orgasms. Her hips stutter against you as she continues to thrust into you a little slower, your legs shaking as she holds your body upright, not letting you fall onto the mattress. She gently lowers you down, your body still trembling from the intensity of your release, slipping the toy out of you and pressing her body into you, peppering your shoulders in kisses as you press your face into the sheet.

"I've got you Detka," she whispers, moving the two of you around so she could pull your body against her, wrapping her arm around you. "I'm so proud of you, you did so well for me," she praises in a soft and loving tone, more comforting words gently falling from her lips to coax you back to reality as you bury your face against her neck, trying to regulate your breathing.

"I can't feel my legs," is the first thing you quietly whisper, her angelic laugh returning as she places a kiss to the top of your head.

"I wasn't too rough was I?" she asks cautiously, not wanting to have hurt you.

"No," you say with no hesitation, pulling back with tired eyes to look at her. "I loved it," you confess, causing her to smile before softly kissing you once more, unable to stop herself.

"Me too," she whispers, letting a comfortable silence take over the room for a bit before ushering you to go to the bathroom and clean up with her. You're reluctant to do so but, when she wraps her arms around you and murmurs sweet words in your ear the entire time, you listen, letting her clean you up and the toy before letting you both return to bed, your body clinging to hers as you cuddle against her, exhaustion creeping up on you both.

Your head rests against her bare chest, a smile engraved on your face at the idea of using her chest as your pillow, arm securely wrapped around her waist while her fingers play with the end of your hair.

"I love you Detka," she murmurs, voice quiet to keep the tranquil atmosphere as you slowly drift to sleep on her, her fingers moving to scratch your scalp softly and lull you to sleep.

"I love you too," you whisper, voice barely audible as you drift off to sleep in her gentle embrace. 

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I'm a student about to start my second year, and me and all my friends are really nervous. It feels like first year was really rough for everyone all over the place and we're all really hoping for a better second year this year! Have lecturers been noticing that too? Do you think it's because of COVID?

Oh my god yes. Jesus yes. It's absolutely the covid effect, and we're expecting to see the disruption for the next five or so years, tbh - the current 18-21 year old undergrads went through the most important years of high school during a lockdown. That not only interrupted academic development (home schooling during a time of stress, massive disruption to exams and exam-taking skills, etc), it also enormously hit emotional development (mid to late teens have the highest socialising needs of the human lifespan, and no one could meet and interact with each other.) And that latter point is having a much bigger effect than the former.

Current undergrads haven't been able to develop the same resilience, the same approach to andragogic education, the same interpersonal skills for dealing with lecturers/fellow students. University is not like school; in school teachers are giving you the knowledge, and gradually encouraging you to try and use it to formulate your own opinions. In university, we're supposed to give you the framework to then go out and do you own research. The bulk of your education comes from you, not us; we're more like facilitators.

But, we're noticing that there's a far bigger skew now towards needing to get the answer right. Anxiety is higher, and so the fear of being wrong is much more crippling for these students, and that in turn means they're less willing/able to take charge of their own education and are more passive with it, wanting to just be fed the right answers so they can rote learn them and get the Good mark. And the disconnect between that and the reality of what lecturers are expecting is pretty big, it turns out, and is causing even more anxiety and stress. Record numbers of my students have started asking me to give their assignment drafts a quick look over, just to see if they're on the right track. Which, you know, I'm more than happy to do; but I do think it's a notable pattern change from three or four years ago.

If you're worrying on a personal level though, Anon, I have some Handy Tips if they're any use!

Remember: the idea of uni is that you are doing your own research and learning on the topics your lecturers describe. They're giving you the basics, but they're expecting you to look up examples, case studies, other research papers, etc. They want to see analysis. That's what gets you the good marks. If you simply describe the information you got in lectures and don't add anything, you'll struggle to rise out of a basic pass.

What's the fundamental point of your particular course? It's important to know this, because it'll tell you how to focus your assessments and exam answers. Just within the environmental sector, you could have Environmental Science (focus: academic exploration and research), Environmental Conservation (focus: applying the academic research to actual management and solutions), Environmental Impacts (focus: philosophy and ethics), etc. In all three, you might be given a paper about the latest IPCC report, but in the first you would focus on exploring all the research papers that formed the conclusion on climate change, in the second you'd focus on case studies around the world and the applicability/feasibility of the shared economic pathways that are going to fix the problem, and in the third you'd focus on the human impacts of both the problem and the proposed solutions. You may of course include elements of all of those, but your main focus should be chosen appropriately.

Keep your notes with copies of the lecture slides in nice ordered folders. Keep a bulleted list of the topics covered in each. This makes it far easier to go and double check the right info when you're stressed out

On that note, the best note-taking system is to add notes/comments to the lecture slides where you record clarifications and things the lecturer said (INCLUDING CASE STUDIES). Don't bother duplicating effort by writing what's on the slide.

I truly do know this is easier said than done, but don't leave your assignments until the last minute. Are you struggling with motivation? You need a study group. You need to body double.

And finally, the biggest: CONTACT STUDENT SUPPORT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING. Every time I go to an exam board and we get to a student who has failed stuff, the first question the Academic Office asks is "Has this student been working with Student Support?" Even if they aren't that helpful in your uni, working with them means they know about the things you're struggling with, and that you've clearly been trying to work around the problems. That makes the Academic Office far, far more likely to take a lenient view of a student, rather than going "Well, clearly they just don't care then, withdraw them from the program." Your Student Support should be able to help you with counselling, study buddies, a support worker that can help you organise your time and interpret your assignment briefs correctly and give you interim deadlines, etc.

Oh, and remember to schedule in rest and downtime, just as much as study time.

And... honestly, you learned a lot in your first year. The learning curve is less steep in second year, even accounting for the academic rigour increasing. By now, you're basically used to things like referencing, routines, assignment formatting, etc. There are no more surprises, really. Now's the point you can get the bit between your teeth and run.

Anyway: good luck! And enjoy it as much as you can. University is hard, no doubt about that, but it can and should be fun as well.

[coffe-book-club]

˚ʚ vintage doll ♡ a much needed thread ɞ˚

♡ ˚₊  tom kaulitz, 2009 (twenty years)

guitarist and part-time womanizer (that's what his friends say) in his free time he loves going to strip clubs with his friends and smoking.

tom is hot, cool and he know that... oh he knows that. he always had dealings with a lot of girls, but never took them seriously. because as he says “i just want love for one night”

if he could he would marry his black audi A8, it's his little girl. when he drives he also talks to his beloved car.

nice fuckboy.

♡ ˚₊  y/n s/n, 2009 (twenty years)

she attends the university of educational sciences, to become a future kindergarten teacher. intern in a summer center for pre-adolescent children and teenagers.

eternal romantic. she loves everything vintage, under those cute clothes and that big heart she also has big tits and she love classical dance. she only listens to old french songs, it's her obsession.

she's so sweet and kind that unfortunately sometimes people make fun of her, but she's not stupid or naive at all.

♡ ˚₊ but they fuck? yes! yes! just fuck yes!

she got the chubbiest and cutest pussy ever and it's tom's most favorite thing. he'll have her on all fours with her chest on the bed and ass high in the air and her hands will come back to grip her ass cheeks and hold it apart to show off her pretty holes and tom is extremely addicted to it.

tom always has one hand on her breast, always.

♡ ˚₊ are they dating? yes - no. yes?

they act like it. nothing is official, no one is more confused than georg. like what the fuck... they don't date?! but they hitting it?! it does not make sense!

it's more complicated than it seems they beat around that topic but are extremely loyal, one with the other. like tom still messes around with other girls but doesn't fuck them? and she doesn't even notice other men, her eyes are only for tom and especially for his cock.

their mantra? mine and only mine.

hii 🍜 how are you? unfortunately, as i already imagined, this week was very stressful and i had a lot of anxiety and because of my worries and agitation, yesterday i had failed an exam (it was a very bad feeling, because i had never failed before yesterday 😥) let's hope for april. xoxo flo.

[adorethedistance]

First I Love You - Jamie Drysdale x Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, mentions of anxiety, sexual references.

Words: 1677

Summary: First I Love You - After a day that gets increasingly worse, Jamie plans a date night to indirectly celebrate your two-month anniversary.

A/n: Cherry is back with a fic after a month of radio silence in typical aodre the distance fashion lol. Anyway! This has been in my drafts forever and I hate it, I can't proof it due to writer's block, and I'm honestly just done staring at it so here ya go!

You can read part 1 of the series of firsts here. The next and final first on the list is first time which is of course gonna be a lil smutty. I might write some Trevor pieces in the interim just depending how I'm feeling.

Today is just one of those days. My class ran much longer than usual and I had to stay after to ask my professor questions before the midterm that night, then I didn’t have time to make myself lunch so I grabbed the pizza rolls from my freezer to heat up at work, then I burned the pizza rolls beyond consumption and did not have any back up food, then I was starving and stressed and unable to use my time at work to study for the exam. I was crying in a puddle of stress and tears. And Jamie didn’t miss a beat. 

Upon hearing how horrible my morning and afternoon had been, he ordered my usual meal from In-N-Out and brought it to me at work so I wouldn’t starve. Then, he offered to make me dinner after I finished my midterm and I tearfully and appreciatively accepted. These little actions of consideration are what have made me fall deeper and deeper in love with Jamie. 

We reached our two months anniversary today but I didn’t make a big deal about it. I feel weird about potentially being one of those couples that celebrates every tiny little milestone like it’s the biggest thing in the world. Still neither of us have said “I love you” yet. But if Jamie continues caring for and about me like this, I’m not sure much longer I can hold it in. That’s why I decided I would tell him tonight.

After cooking dinner for the two of us, and pouring a congratulatory glass of wine to celebrate the 95 I got on my midterm, we laid down on the couch together. Happy and fed, I rest my head on the expanse of his broad chest. Jamie presses a kiss into my hair, bringing his left arm to drape over my shoulders.

“God, 2 months already?!” Trevor asks Jamie incredulously, making me roll my eyes at the playful jab.

“Don’t sound so surprised, Zegras.”

“You’re just mad cause you can’t pull.” Jamie’s accusation makes me laugh at the offended look on Trevor’s face. 

“Don’t get it twisted, I can pull.”

“You just can’t get them to stay?” I ask innocently, absentmindedly messing with Jamie’s fingers. Jamie laughs heartily. He interlaces his with mine to give my hand a gentle squeeze. “But to answer your original question, yes, it’s been 2 months already.” 

The scruff of my boyfriend’s 5 o’clock shadow brushes the back of my hand as he kisses the flat part of my knuckle. Trevor, observing the entire action, leans over the kitchen trashcan and pretends to throw up. Jamie merely laughs and I roll my eyes once more, “Shut the fuck up! You are so dramatic.”

“And for what?” Jamie chimes in which makes me smile to see he’s been picking up some of my mannerisms and phrases as well. That’s been my favorite part of dating him so far. The way his music taste slowly infiltrates mine. The way he now keeps a trashbag in his car after realizing how useful the one in mine is. The way he’s wearing the soft blue hoodie he lent me, for the reason that it now smells like me, which is why I had stolen it from him in the first place.

“I’m happy for you guys, really,” Trevor grabs his car keys from off the granite kitchen counter, “Thank you for rubbing salt into the open wound.”

“Oh my god-” Jamie starts.

“Get out of here!” I finish for him, urging Trevor to leave. 

“I’m gone!” He obliges. Then, Jamie kisses my head again, prompting me to sit up. 

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Mmm… no, actually. If I had to guess, he’s probably going golfing with the guys.”

“No way, he was dressed way too nice for golf…” I trail off, racking my brain for where he could have possibly been headed. Shrugging off the idea, I straddle Jamie’s hips, and look down at him. I smile. Overcome with the warm sensation of staring at my boyfriend. Jamie nudges me with his hips, indicating he would like me to lay back down. Before I comply, I pull my hair back tying it out of the way so I’m free to kiss Jamie as much as I please. He watches my every move, eyes flooded with adoration.

“At practice this morning, McT said he…” Jamie trails off mid sentence. As he was talking, I finished tying my hair back and then leaned down as he had wanted me to. He’s looking at me with eyes slightly widened and lips parted in surprise. 

“What?” I ask, concerned as to why Jamie stopped talking. He simply says,

“You’re really pretty.” The seemingly arbitrary declaration makes me laugh but does nothing to aid my confusion.

“Okay?”

“You’re just so pretty I think I short-circuited.” The earnest confession makes me smile and giggle, so I press a soft kiss to Jamie’s lips.

“You’re cute. So what did Mason say?”

“Oh yeah, he said that he wants to meet you.”

“Really?” I ask, rubbing my thumb over Jamie’s cheekbone. He kisses my palm before responding,

“Despite how much you and Trevor bully each other, he’s told everyone on the team about how cool you are. He kinda took the liberty to do it himself since I do gush about you, but I get shy about it.” Jamie is uncharacteristically speaking out loud his stream of consciousness, and I take a back seat to admire how talkative he can be when he’s with me. A stark contrast to the shy, almost silent boy I’d had my first date with. Noticing how much he’s talking, Jamie ends his rambling but I smile softly, encouragingly,

“It’s unfortunate that the ‘cool girl’ is seemingly the only archetype that consistently receives approval from men, but it is true nonetheless.”

“Yeah, like, it’s not that I need his approval, but it is nice when your boys like your girlfriend… Well, it’s what you said, you just said it better. I’m mansplaining aren’t I?” He asks, bashfully. I roll my eyes and appreciatively kiss his lips once more.

“Get out of your head, Drysdale. Do you have anxiety?” 

“Shut up. I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who can always tell when I’m overthinking.”

“Maybe I’m just the only one with the audacity to comment on it,” I playfully propose, smiling when I succeed in making Jamie laugh. 

“I don’t think so.”

“We’ll agree to disagree. It’s unlikely, but not impossible.” Dropping the bit, Jamie and I smile at each other, melting into a comfortable silence. He looks at me with soft eyes, pink blush creeping across his cheeks the longer I continue to stare. I rest my left hand on the side of his face once more. I brush my thumb over his cheekbone again, and rub the top of my fingers repeatedly against the stubble adorning his jaw. Jamie lifts his eye brows before saying,

“What, do I need to shave?”

“No. I just like the way it feels.”

“Oh, hey, you said you’re done with school by mid december, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“My mom asked if you were coming to Christmas this year.”

“Did she really?” Jamie hesitates a moment before his brows furrow in sincere disapproval.

“You’ve been my girlfriend for two months now. She will not shut up about meeting you.”

“What? Why?” He then blushes fiercely and cowers his head into the large hoodie he’s slouched on. Jamie doesn’t meet my gaze as he talks,

“I told her all about you the other day.” I bite back the giant smile that prods at my features before replying,

“What did you tell her?”

“Just stuff about you!”

“What stuff about me?!”

“I told her you’re a student and what you’re studying. I told her where you’re from and what your family is like. And I told her about how I stare at you between red lights when we’re going somewhere.” The last piece of information makes me laugh and I tilt my head in confusion.

“How did that last part come up?” It was a simple question, really. One that I hadn’t even bothered to put a lot of thought into; one that came from my basic stream of consciousness. And certainly not one that I imagined would ellicit such a reaction from Jamie. His eyes widened and softened all at once, his blush glowing brighter across his cheeks, and his lips parting to allow the irregular pace of breathing he had now adopted.

“I guess… I called her because I was unsure of what I was feeling…? I was kinda freaking out about it. As I told her about our first date, she said that just talking about you made me visibly happier. She noticed that, even though I wasn’t aware of how happy I’d gotten. Then she demanded to meet you as soon as possible…” Jamie sheepishly looks up at me after finishing his mini monologue. The traces of endeared happiness immediately vanish and Jamie looks at me horrified. In describing how happy I make this boy, I felt tears welling up on my lashes, relieved to be experiencing something so thoroughly mutual.

“Oh my god, please don’t cry I’m sorry!” I laugh through the tears and playfully smack his chest.

“Jamie…”

“You make me really happy, Y/n. Like, really really happy-”

“I love you,” I blurt out. I’m a bit stunned and honestly scared of how quickly this confession escaped me. But I know it’s true. And isn’t that the scariest part?

“I love you too.”

“Really?” I ask through unrelenting tears.

“Yes,” Jamie rests his hands on the tops of my hip bones, “I kind of lied by saying my mom said I looked happy… She said I looked very in love, but I didn’t want to be too forward and say that if you maybe didn’t feel the same way.”

“Bro, you worry so much, are you sure you don’t have anxiety?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

***

a/n: copy pasting tags is the best thing that has ever happened to fic writers I think.

[writersblog20]

Pancakes and a Milkshake

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: When everything gets a little bit too much and you have a slight moment of crisis, Pedro comes to the rescue with pancakes and a milkshake. Who would’ve thought what pancakes and milkshakes could bring you

Warnings: mention of anxiety and stress, edibles and smoking weed, reader gets picked up in her sleep by Pedro, vomiting because of stress, mention of a nightmare, calming medication

Words: 3,6K

A/N: So this is actually happening and I just can’t…. I need Pedro to take me out for pancakes and a milkshake and comfort me because I don’t know how I’ll survive on Monday. Please wish me luck and pray for me that I won’t make a fool out of myself

Pancakes and Milkshakes🥞🍨

To say you were stressed was an understatement. You were in the midst of exams and school made it way more troubled than it had to be. For example, they just told you that you had to have a conversation with an potential client from the branch where you wanted to go in. So you had to ask your boss, the one you unfortunately fell in love with. You had to choose him because that would be the most obvious decision and it would help you with your grade.

But now you were panicking and stressing about it for obvious reasons. For starters, you weren’t only dealing with the stress and anxiety about your oral exams but also the stress and anxiety with seeing your boss again, for the first time in a very long time, knowing that those feelings come rushing back and you really weren’t waiting for that.

Anyway, the point is, you were beyond exhausted and stressed yourself out to no point. Pedro saw it and wanted to help you but you shut yourself off. You were even counting the days. If it was just an oral exam with your teacher you wouldn’t have 90% of the stress that you were experiencing now.

Pedro stayed with you for a while so he could film in the location without renting a house. You and Pedro met on a set where you helped your uncle and you both hit it off right from the bat. You have never felt comfortable so fast with someone you just met. So when days passed and Pedro told you about the terrible place he was renting, you offered him a room in your house. Pedro didn’t want to be a burden so with some back and forth, you finally convinced him that he wouldn’t be a burden and that you would actually enjoy some company.

So that’s how we got to this point. You and Pedro had some amazing days already. You cooked together, watched some sitcoms and movies that he wanted you to see and it was just amazing. You couldn’t explain how you felt so incredibly comfortable around him. Yeah he definitely deserved the title zaddy from the internet.

So today was a lazy day. But as the days grew closer, the higher your anxiety and stress got to you. You weren’t sleeping well, felt physically sick and drained to the bone. Pedro could see it from a mile away. The bags underneath your eyes and the how much you’ve clenched your jaw that it was even visible when you weren’t clenching. Yeah you were a mess. You did tell Pedro the situation but you couldn’t bring yourself to open up more. That wasn’t because of Pedro. No it was because you didn’t want to say it out loud because if you did, then it would be real so you kept it shut because you really did believe that this was the way to keep in control of the situation when the day would come.

Pedro made some dinner but you really had no appetite. It was silent at the table and Pedro kept a close eye on you while eating the pasta he made and drank some of his wine. “You know what we should do?” he asked you with a smirk on his face and a playful undertone. You looked up and chuckled slightly at his mischievous look. “Edibles….. Or smoke a joint. Doesn’t really matter but why don’t we get high tonight?” he asked you and you chuckled a little, sitting back in your chair, looking at Pedro to see if he was serious, which he was. His face said it all with the raised eyebrow and playful smile on his face.

You looked down and thought about it. “Yeah, why not. At this point I’ll do anything to feel a bit relaxed.” You chuckled. Pedro immediately got a big smile on his face and leaned more forward. “Okay, so I got gummy bears, lollypops, even cotton candy and of course normal weed.” You chuckled. “I’ll think I’ll smoke a joint and maybe take a gummy bear” You told him with a smirk and took a sip of your red wine. Pedro smiled “Alright then.”

After dinner, you cleaned the kitchen since Pedro cooked. He came downstairs with the edible and weed. “You know how to roll sweetheart?” Pedro asked you. You shook your head “No just how to put everything in and crush it but not how to roll.” Pedro nodded with a soft smile “Alright, I’ll show you.” you smiled and nodded. You searched for a vinyl to listen to and put it on the record player. Pedro smiled as he heard the tune. You put some blues on for now and sat next to Pedro.

You had a pretty cozy livingroom to say the least. A lot of things were from wood so it gave a cabin vibe but a bit bigger and a  little more luxurious because of the kitchen and how big your house was. It wasn’t a very big house, more regular but still bigger than a cabin if you know what I mean. The candles illuminated both of your faces while Pedro showed you how to roll a joint. He gave you one so could try it but obviously it wasn’t so  easy the first time and Pedro saw your frustration and chuckled softly, taking it from you. “It’s okay babe, it almost never happens that you get it the first time. It takes practice.” You nodded. You filled the joint and let Pedro roll it so you were still doing something.

You put on the fireplace since it started snowing pretty bad and sat back in your place, your feet up on the table just like Pedro. He gave you a gummy and you clinked it as if it was a wine glass. You both chuckled and ate the edibles before smoking the joint, passing it over to each other. You leaned your head on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. You could already feel some of the tension leave your body and making you feel fuzzy.

You and Pedro started chatting about everything and listening to the music with some laughter in between because of the high. After a while you decided to watch a movie while Pedro lit the other joint. He could see that you were trying to lay down comfortably on the couch but was failing miserably. “Come here, princess. Rest your head on my lap.” He told you softly and scooted closer to you, taking a blanket and a pillow with him. He placed the pillow on his lap as you turned around to lay your head on his lap. When you finally laid down comfortably, he placed the blanket over your body. You held a part of his leg, for some more comfort and Pedro was completely fine with that.

Pedro softly went with his hand over your head and an adoring smile on his face. “This better princess?” You nodded softly, completely relaxed and high at this point. “Yeah, this is very nice. Thank you.” you mumbled a bit and Pedro had that same soft smile on his face. He bended forward a bit so he could place a kiss on your head. Pedro started the movie and now and then passed you the joint. This wasn’t the first time smoking a joint so you knew how much you could take and handle.

Pedro had his arm resting around your body and you felt so safe, relaxed and comfortable with him that you started to feel fuzzy inside and not from the weed this time. Pedro softly rubbed your arm while being glued to the tv. Your eyes started to get heavy and it was a losing battle so you just closed them, falling into a deep slumber.

~time skip~

You woke up from a nightmare and you sat straight up, rubbing your face. You looked around and saw that you were in your room. Pedro must’ve brought you to bed. You were sweating and your breathing was uneven when all the panic and stress started rushing back to you, making you almost sick to your stomach.

You quickly struggled to get out of bed and to the bathroom, clinging to the toilet and threw everything out. This wasn’t new to you. When you were in a serious amount of stress, it would make you physically ill. Once you were done, you flushed the toilet and brushed your teeth before making your way downstairs to get your calming meds.

You went into the kitchen and struggled to search for your meds with shaky hands until you heard Pedro’s voice. “You looking for these sweetheart?” he asked you softly and you quickly looked at him before slowly nodding. He gave them to you with a sad smile. “Where did you get these?” you asked him. “I saw that you placed them in your bag and figured that you forgot to take them out.” You nodded and took them with a glass of water. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” you asked him softly, feeling guilty.

“Don’t worry about that princess. Let me make you a cup of tea. Go sit on the couch sweetheart.” He told you, making you nod. You made your way to the couch and stared out of your window. The whole city was covered white while more was still falling from the sky. You felt some sort of serenity and calmness floating over you. Snow always had that effect on you.

Before you knew it Pedro sat next to you with the tea. “Thank you P, but you don’t have to stay with me. You need sleep.” You told him, looking at him for a minute and then stared out of the window again. Pedro looked at you in all seriousness. “Y/N, You are more important to me. I’ll stay as long as needed princess. Talk to me.” he told you the last part soft.

You felt fuzzy from what he said to you and you gave him a sad smile but stayed silent. Pedro noticed and nodded before scooping closer to you. “Come here than.” He told you and you were aching for some comfort. Pedro already had his arms open for you as a hint. You climbed over Pedro and sat besides him, your legs over his while the side of your body was tightly against his. His arms wrapped around you. He tucked your head softly underneath his chin and gave a kiss on your head. And that was it. Both staying silent but still he provided all the comfort he could and let’s be real, you really, like really needed this.

You started to calm down a bit. “I’m a bit hungry… but like hungry for fast food…” Pedro suddenly spoke out. You looked up at him confused. “I think we should get some pancakes…. Maybe a milkshake with that?” he hinted with a soft smile. You thought about it and smiled at the idea. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Your voice so soft that you weren’t sure if he heard you or not. “Okay, let’s get some pancakes, sweetheart. I know I great place that’s open 24/7.” Just with the line “Let’s get some pancakes.” Was an opening to your heart.

You got off Pedro’s lap and stood up. You were wearing an oversized hoodie and joggings, and Pedro was wearing some pajamas with a funny design. You looked down at the two of you. “Don’t worry, we don’t have to change.” You nodded and to be honest, you couldn’t give a fuck about your clothes right now. Pedro smiled and threw his arm around your shoulders, leading you outside and towards his car. You stepped in and now you saw what time it actually was. 2 AM. Pedro noticed and saw how your face fell a bit. “Hey, like I said, you are more important. Besides, I can’t pass up on pancakes with you, are you kidding me?” he made the situation lighter and achieved to get a smile on your face. “Let’s get some pancakes than.” You told him back with a soft but confident smile.

“There’s my girl.” He chuckled, making you smile shyly as he drove off. It didn’t take long to arrive. This was a side of the city that you never really went so seeing this restaurant was a positive surprise. It was like a diner straight from the 80’s. pink everywhere, jukeboxes and everything. You smiled at Pedro who held out his hand for you to grab which you happily applied to do so.

You both walked in, still wearing the pajama’s. It was a sight on its own but you wouldn’t want it any other way. You both sat down in the retro seats. You were happy that they had the lights lower so it gave off a homey and nice vibe.

The waitress walked your way and took your orders. Pancakes and a big strawberry milkshake. When she walked away, Pedro leaned backwards and looked at you. “Princess, I need you to talk to me. bobbling this up, is not going to work. Let me help you carry some of the weight. I might not be able to take it away but then I know how I can help and support you.” Pedro sat more forwards as he took your cold hands in his. Pedro started rubbing them, trying to warm them up. You took a deep sigh and decided to just open up. Maybe it’ll work and if not, then you don’t have that much to lose.

You started telling him about it all. Where it started, what is bothering you right now and what’s going on in your own head. Pedro listened intently to your story, keeping eye contact and held your hands, softly drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. “We’ll get through this and I’ll be besides you with every step. I know it might not help a lot but I want you to know that I am certain that you will nail this. You are too amazing and you are so much stronger than you think. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen you and this… I know this is a big deal right now, but I know that you are going to get through this with a good grade. Otherwise, I’ll come to your school and make a scene.” He told the last part to lift the heaviness off.

You chuckled slightly which left a smile on Pedro’s face. “You know I’ll do it!” he told you, making you laugh, knowing he was serious. You nodded. “I know all of that but it’s just the feelings. Feelings aren’t rational, at least not in this moment.” Pedro nodded. “But this helps.” You told him with a soft smile which he returned. You felt that fuzzy feeling inside again when he smiled at you with those soft kind eyes, his bed hair and his silly pajamas which you actually loved a lot.

You took a deep sigh as your meds started to kick in. You nodded “I got this. I just need to survive the days following up to it.” Pedro smiled. “and I’ll help with that, I promise.” He told you and took your hand to his lips and placed a kiss on them, making you smile.

The food arrived with the milkshake that you and Pedro would share. You giggled at how old fashioned it looked and absolutely loved it. It even had a red cherry on top with some sprinkles on the whipped cream. “This looks amazing.” You told him with a smile and looked him. Pedro had that same mischievous smile on his face as he had before. He opened his palm and you saw two gummy bears. You looked at him with a grin and took one. “Cheers” you said as you clinked the gummy’s together and put it in your mouth, Pedro mirroring you.

You didn’t have to worry about Pedro driving because it would probably kick in when you arrived home. ( Edibles take a while sometimes.) You devoured the pancakes, now realizing how hungry you actually were. Pedro smiled, seeing how content you were. Both giggling while you shared the milkshake. You both joked around a little and you felt the stress lifting off of you. When you were done, Pedro paid while you put your coat on. Pedro came back and had something in his hands which made you curios but he put it behind his back. “It’s a surprise.” He told you with a smile. You knew he wasn’t telling you right now so you let it go. “Thank you P. For everything.” You told him and he smiled. “Everything for my favorite girl in the world.” You felt flustered and saw that Pedro was blushing and had a shy smile upon his lips.

You stepped in the car and instead of driving home, he drove to an empty field. You frowned a bit, not knowing what was going on. You’ve been here a million times before and it was close to your house but you didn’t understand why you were here.

You looked confused at Pedro, who smiled. “I know that the snow relaxes you, so this is the perfect spot to drink our extra Slurpee’s I got and smoke a joint before we go inside.” You smiled brightly. Pedro knew you too well. He gave you a couple cd’s so you could pick out the music while Pedro put his feet up on the dashboard and put the windows just a bit down. It was now a bit past 3AM but you couldn’t explain how much this has helped you. If you were still at home than you were a 100% certain that you would have a panic attack and a really bad one at that.

You both stared at the snow falling down while slurping on the Slurpee’s and sharing the joint while listening to the music. “P…?” Pedro looked at you. “Could you maybe stay with me tonight? In case the nightmares come back?” you asked him softly and he just smiled, kissing the top of your head. “Of course I will princess.” You smiled softly and stared in front of you again.

“You ready to go home?” he asked you as it was 4 AM now. You nodded with a yawn, which made Pedro laugh as he drove the last 3 minutes to your house. He opened the door and you shivered as you walked in the house. “Do you want to sleep here or in your bedroom? I really don’t mind.” You nodded but almost felt guilty. “Can we sleep here?” you asked him, feeling like a burden. “So a sleepover! Of course! I’ll get the pillows and blankets! You search for a good movie okay?” Pedro’s excitement washed away your negative feelings. You loved how childlike he sometimes could be but in a good way.

You put the couch out (you could put it out and make a bed from it). Pedro came downstairs but wasn’t even visible behind all the pillows and blankets. You chuckled and helped him out. You both tried to make the bed but you were both as high as a kite. So try making a bed and not fall into a fit of laughter. Finally, you both got the couch to work as a bed. Pedro swinged his arms up as an achievement which made you chuckle.

You laid down and got the tv remote, Pedro joining you. You both put on a movie that interested you both and when it started, it was time to get comfortable. You turned towards Pedro and he already held his arm up so you could lay down on his chest. You held his pajama tightly in your hand while his arm was wrapped around you, pulling you closer. You watched the movie a bit but felt yourself grow tired again. “Thank you for being my favorite person on this earth.” You told Pedro, who chuckled. “And you too for also being my favorite person princess.” He told you and pressed a kiss on your head, pulling you close and let out a deep sigh from relaxation.

The panic and stress wasn’t going away but with Pedro by your side, you knew it was going to be okay. And maybe now, you didn’t have to worry about the feelings towards your boss anymore because Pedro had your heart in his hands, and you trusted him with everything you got. So in the end, it actually worked out and your negative feelings were reduced and positive feelings got into that place.

You finally fell asleep in Pedro’s arms in a deep, peaceful sleep, feeling as if you were in the safest place on earth. And all of that because of some pancakes and a milkshake. One thing was for sure, the universe has it’s own crazy and funny way of how things would go.

[osakiharu]

THEY FIND OUT YOU LIKE BEING PRAISED !!

[request]

content : gender neutral reader, fluff, this is sfw don’t get too excited y’all, independent!reader, reader is a uni student in draken’s, reader is independent but also quite self critical at times :(, rindou having blood all over his arms whoopsies, also me having rindou brainrot so i went a little crazy with his... i love him i can’t help it, 

word count : around 500-600 each <3 little scenarios for this one hehe

characters : draken, rindou 

notes : okay hi !! long time no see y’all, college is so so insane rn and m sorry for being so dead T^T this was actually a request but i have deleted it with my old requests in my inbox and i only kept the ones i moved to my drafts whoopsies </3 i hope this isn’t too bad and i hope i haven’t gotten rusty from not writing for a little but yeah have some rindou and draken as my apology <3 thankyou to dee for giving me a little help on this when i was brain dead mwah i luv u <3

˗ˏˋ DRAKEN

draken knew you always preferred to teach yourself things, to stick to your own way of studying, to not have anyone or anything interfere with your routine during exam season. he knows, without fail, you’ll always reject his proposal to help you, but eventually he finds there’s nothing he loves more than to see your cheeks redden at his praise for your work. even if you push him off and tell him to let you continue <3 

“why don’t you let me help, baby? wouldn’t you get it done faster?” he mumbled into your hair before reaching forwards to take your notes from you. “i don’t need help, kenny, ‘m fine! ‘s not about doing it fast, anyways.” of course you were. even if the bags under your eyes and very few hours sleep you had under your belt said otherwise. a kiss was pressed to your cheek before he sat himself down in the chair next to you, resting his head on his crossed arms as he looked up at you. draken decided not to push you for let him help. “how’d y’r exam t’day go? know you were dreadin’ that one.” it’s sweet, you think, the way his eyelids seem to be getting harder to hold open but he’s probably still thinking up a plan to work his way around your stubbornness to get you into bed at a reasonable time. 

“it was fine,” you put your notes down and turned to face him, “i finished with time to spare, too, so i don’t think i did that bad.” of course you did well. you always do, draken thought with a smile. “c’mere.” he nodded his head to the side, signalling for you to sit in his lap. his embrace was comforting, warm, too warm, even, for your tired state couldn’t help but relax into it like you’d been longing to all day. “gettin’ tired, angel?” draken could practically feel you melting into him as he rubbed up and down your back. “mhm… but i gotta finish up, kenny, c’mon.” your attempt at moving back to your original chair was futile as draken pulled you back down into a gentle kiss. 

“hmm… but my baby’s so smart, ain’t ya?” he spoke against your lips, and you couldn’t help the way your cheeks reddened at his comment. “don’t think you need t’do anymore when you’re already doing so good… think ya need to come to bed with me ‘n’ get some sleep, hm?” he could feel your smile against his cheek as he kissed anywhere he could without you shying away from him. draken almost chuckled at your actions. he’d always known you to be an independent person, dealing with everything yourself, and though he was no stranger to your stresses and anxieties, seeing you this flustered was rare to him. fuck, you’re so cute.

“what’s this all about, sweets?” he pinched your cheek between a pointer and thumb, “got somethin’ you wanna tell me?” draken’s grin is wide as you peer down into your lap. you know exactly what he wants you to say, to admit that all you want to hear right now is how good you’re doing, how clever you are, to have your hard work appreciated when you feel like it’s futile and a waste of time. though you shook your head as you met his eyes once again, “shut up.” draken hummed at your response, the chewing of your lip and the remains of your bashful smile gave him the wordless answer he wanted. “c’mon then, smart ass, y’re coming to bed with me,” he patted your thigh as a signal get up, “can’t have my clever little thing over workin’ yourself when you’ve got all those other exams to do, can i?”

˗ˏˋ RINDOU

if there was one thing rindou had learned about you it was that once you start something you want to finish it, and you want to finish it well. you want to finish it yourself, it doesn’t feel the same if someone helps you, you tell him. but he knows you’re only human, so when mikey comes and drops another tower of rindou’s paperwork on your desk when you’re already up to your neck in it and it’s almost two in the morning, it’s not hard for him to notice the cracks in your resilience

“what’re you still doin’ here?” you heard rindou mumble from the doorway of your office. blood covered his knuckles and fingers, under his rings, and trailed up to his forearms in spatters. his hair was tousled and messy, violet eyes sleepier than usual. from where he leaned, he looked frightening. beautiful, but frightning. “‘m finishing paperwork.” rindou raised a brow, almost confused, as he checked the clock. two in the morning? finishing paperwork? you must’ve gone mad; it looked like you’d barely started with the piles mikey had dropped on your desk. “that’s your work, is it?” he spoke from the front of your desk. “hm? oh, no, it’s yours,” you held up the sheet you’d been writing, “i already finished my work, but mikey just asked me to get a bit of yours done while you were gone… didn’t have to do all of it but i may as well since i’ve started it.” sleepy was the smile that rested on your face. so pretty, he thought.

rindou sighed in response to your commitment and strolled over to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and giving your cheek a quick kiss. “y’know you don’t wanna do all that, baby, c’mon,” kiss, “y’half asleep anyways, let me deal with it tomorrow, kay? need t’rest that pretty head of yours now.” you sighed and slumped backwards into your chair. it’s just work, it’s not even yours, you thought to yourself. you just couldn’t stand having to hand over the responsibility of doing all that work to someone else. you knew that feeling was silly, though, you just couldn’t help it sometimes. the man behind you could already guess the response travelling up your throat, ready to be mumbled out in defeat. rindou pulled away and beckoned you with a finger to stand up, “why don’t you try thinkin’ of the stuff you've already done, hm? come here ‘n’ tell me about it, sweets.” you always appreciated rindou’s attempts at comforting you, despite him never being one to comfort people, only one to help them forget about their current issue. 

you followed him to the couch in your office and laid your tired head in his lap, strong thighs like pillows to you. and although you mostly spoke through a yawn, you told him about the work you did that day. “mhm, good job, baby.” a thumb stroked your cheek before he pulled you up for a quick kiss or two by your jaw. your smile, shy and a little toothy, was felt against his lips as your cheeks reddened under his touch. “such a good little angel f’me, aren’t you? doin’ my work when you don’t need to.” he took note of how warm your cheeks were on the tips of his fingers and pulled away from your face so you could hide your timidity no longer. 

rindou had always had an inkling, even before you were dating, that you enjoyed hearing things like that; having your work appreciated and acknowledged, feeling supported for once. your silly attempts at hiding your smile that never worked. he could tell you’d always been independent, enjoyed being independent, though he also knew that sometimes you wanted to take a break or to not do everything by yourself, to let someone hold your hand for a while. “i didn’t know you could be so shy, i thought you would’a told me to shut up by now.” you looked up at his stupid smirk, knowing he wanted to hear it from you. playful arguing was futile option as any attempt made was to refute rindou’s statement was a failed one. it was worth a shot. you placed your head back on his thighs and your smile said it all, “you like it when i tell you those things don’t you? it’s what you deserve to hear.” 

your grin hadn’t faltered, a sigh passing your lips. “mhm... yeah.” 

rindou knew he was going to tease you about this forever now. he also knew that you’d deny everything every single time <3

reblogs appreciated <33

[residenthughes]

square one

pairing: leon kennedy x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.6K

tags/warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, some angst, leon's dealing with some insecurities (acne) :(

summary: leon's always struggled with acne. a recent flareup brings up more than he bargained for.

notes: think i saw a post about the texture of leon's skin in the re4r, as well as a headcannon that he sometimes picks at his skin and idk, just felt compelled to write this. i struggled (still do) with hyperpigmentation from acne, so this was low-key self-indulgent (and me projecting, sorry leon 😭) so enjoy(?) the fruits of that! one more exam and i'll be active again (in between celebrating any chance that i get that exams are over) hope you enjoy! :)

He feels like a teenager again.

Full of angst and riddled with insecurity. There’s so much curiosity in his eyes, fingers gingerly grazing against the scarlet surface of his cheek with inflamed pimples. Leon thought he outgrew this. Despite the occasional picking at his skin when submerged in the anxieties that live rent free in his mind, his skin remained relatively calm rain or shine. It’s worst was when he was in high school, so awkward and unsure of everything. Redness dotted against his face, he felt like puberty brought out the worst in him, forced him to grow in a body now foreign to him, navigate the unknown territory that were his new feelings. It’s a time that isn’t all that nostalgic for him and when he stands in your shared bathroom, long into his adulthood - 27 years old - staring into his reflection, his life flashes before his eyes. He’s right back where he was. Nerdy and hesitant. 

He feels so small.

“Hey,” your call for his attention is soft, doused in all gentleness you can muster as you quietly observe your partner from the door frame. “You ok? Tea’s getting cold.”

Leon huffs in annoyance, not meaning to but when his eyes catch sight of how inflamed his skin is, it takes him gnawing inside his cheek to stop himself from spiralling. It’s so silly, insignificant even. Leon never really cared much for his appearance as an adult. Reminded fairly neutral in regards to himself, stance never swayed despite those that fell to his feet bewitched by his devastatingly good looks. His stance shifted when you two met. Suddenly, he was a teenager again, but in a good way. Do I smell good? Is my hair ok? Am I overdressed? All these little curiosities combated by the love you embrace him in. He doesn’t become confident - your love is not a fix-all remedy for years of trauma and insecurity. But he becomes more sure of himself, reassured and loved wholly. He picks up his own pieces, slowly but surely. You simply steer him in the right direction. A beautiful thing, a lovely thing.

In spite of this beautiful thing, Leon can get in his own way sometimes. Stares at his reflection too long when he’s been spiralling and simply meets your gaze with a vulnerability reserved only for you. “Skin’s been acting up.”

“Honey,” you approach him cautiously, like he’s made of porcelain and Leon leans into the gentleness without a care in the world. Your hands never make contact with him, knowing any touch might open the floodgates of emotional turmoil that slowly seep into his bloodstream, poisonous and harrowing in nature. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

He grimaces, eyes avoiding yours as he shrinks into himself. “Been a stressful week is all.”

Leon flashes an unconvincing smile, puffing out a beat of laughter that is all but amused. “Guess this is the result of it, huh?”

Your heart sinks. You remember when this came up early in your relationship. You were often seeing each other, whether it was to go out on the town dressed to the nines or lounge around and snack on whatever junk food (of which there was very little in Leon’s apartment) you two could find. He refused to see you, citing long work days and the lack of energy they left him with as his reasons. You respected his wishes, giving him his space and all the time he needed before finding his way back to you. However, you couldn’t ignore the voice at the back of your head, nudging you towards him with pleas of assurance. Reassurance that he was ok and wasn’t deserting you for reasons you could help with.

You bumped into him on his way back from the grocery store.

Against his better judgement, Leon needed to restock his shelves with leafy greens to rid himself quickly of the acne against his cheeks. He knew you were at work, so he took his chance and sped ran through the isles, mask pulled up to his eyes as he simply went about his business. Packing his grocery bags quickly and making big steps towards his car, only to run into you in the parking lot.

He expects you to drop your belongings. Dramatises the whole scene in his head, imagines your face twisting in disgust and murmuring a half-hearted excuse to leave the conversation early to block his number because his insecurities have gotten the best of him and he can’t think any worse of himself than he is now. 

It’s all fiction, the tragic story he paints in his head. Sees you give a small smile, cautious and coy.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he muses, the awkwardness of his predicament leaving him with nothing but the desire for the ground to swallow him whole. “Would have dressed up a bit.”

You laugh a bit, easing the pain but Leon still wants to leave regardless, foot pointed away from you with his body slightly turning towards the direction of his car.

You take note of his body language and make the conversation flow as casually as possible. “Yeah, I got off work early and was actually gonna pick up some things to come see you.”

“See me?” 

“Yeah, think it’s to be expected to want to see your partner.” you joke lightheartedly, eying the tension that leaves Leon’s shoulders as they relax back from his ears. 

“That’s sweet of you,” Leon starts. “But, I’ve gotta head back to the office…printer’s jammed.”

“Again?”

It ‘jammed’ last week. Along with some other atrocities that left Leon MIA all last week and this week too. It’s not too long to question, but the distance between you is growing unlike times before. It unsettles you.

“Can’t work that thing to save my life. So, it’s my obligation to fix it.”

“Leon,” you’re seeing through his act, calling for the denouement to the charade Leon orchestrates. He feels sickly doing this - this isn’t what you deserve, he knows that. But, during one of scarce times in his life that he’s self-conscious, is it so horrible to want to be left alone? “You’ve been a bit MIA recently. You sure you’re holding up alright?”

He questions for a moment telling you. Disclosing his recent flare up because he knows it isn’t a bad deal, especially with you who nurtures a safe space for him to call home. And he does, he goes to tell you, but in a desperate attempt for closeness, you step forwards and he’s stepping back and suddenly there’s a deafening silence between the two of you.

“I didn’t mean-”

“It’s ok,” you reassure, time and time again. His heart hurts from the constant push and pull that plagues your relationship. It wasn’t something you had to deal with. “Just talk to me. Please?”

It’s different seeing you like this. Over text, it’s easier (but not impossible) to tap away at the screen and desert his phone, submerging himself in work to fend off any thoughts that attempt to crawl into his brain. But you’re here, right in front of him. Eyes soft and so unbearably honest with your state of being. It tears him up inside. Makes him acknowledge every attempt to distance himself from you and never do it again if the same circumstances arose.

Leon makes the situation right. Approaches you despite the screams at the back of his head and heads back to his apartment with you sitting in the passenger seat, describing the acne flare ups that in spite of the demons he faces on his missions, makes him react like no other. You comfort him as best as possible, listening to every word he says and not bothering with unsolicited advice or shallow comments that won’t help the situation. You simply craft an evening filled with distractions, all his favourite in-home activities whilst showering him with all the affection he’s missed. And when it comes time to wash up and settle into bed, you make light of the situation, giving him one of the Sanrio headbands you had left in his apartment as you two clean up for the night, the space and comfort you give him enough for him to crawl into your arms under the covers and never let go. It’s an act of service, a day, that he’ll never forget. One that allows him to bare himself to you, years later, and let you take the reins because this, on top of the travesties he’s encountered far too often lately, have made him feel like a shell of himself. 

“It’s hard to keep up with everything when you’re so busy, isn’t it?” He nods. “You’ve been working hard, always have. Saving the world isn’t an easy feat, you know?”

He laughs, this time around humoured. “I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

“Well, whatever you do,” he laughs again and you can see him slowly coming back to you. You flash him a smile, a smile that holds timeless tales of your love story and his heart begins to warm. “It’s perfectly normal to get some R&R afterwards. It’s well deserved, especially in your case.”

He simpers, now having worked up the nerve to look into your eyes and in them, sees that dazzle. The same dazzle from your first glance, from your first confession. Even at his lowest, the dazzle remains. Your love, unwavering. There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you, all of which he does when he feels like himself again. Showers you in abundance and more because that’s what you deserve and more.

“How about I run us a hot bath? You can tell me all about the printer jamming whilst I wash your hair, yeah?” 

He feels like a teenager again. This time, abundant in all the love he has for you.

[callsignhood]

does könig have any advice on how to deal with exam stress? I just had a French one so im a bit nervous haha

also may I please have a hug with him in a pillow fort and if not that's okay

have a nice day <33

Salut toi! Français n’est pas facile je sais, was pain in my ass too. Lâches-toi pas! König te donne un gros câlin tout chaud.

For König, I’d imagine him writing down many notes. Physically writing it down would help him focus a lot, since he’d probably have a bit of ADHD going on with his anxiety. He’d be nervous too before exam, he’ll take deep breaths (it sounds stupid but it works) and keep his hands busy, squeezing stress ball or playing with sleeves. He’d be confident enough if he reads the book over and over until he can almost remember everything by heart (such a nerd). Fuck, I don’t have anything else, that’s all I can think of him, sorry

Keine Sorge: Don’t worry