#how to be helpful when things go on that you've no experience with & don't know what to do for & it's shameful that you're not in mom club?

[archangeldyke-all]

hiii I just found your blog from a recommendation and your writing is sososos freaking good omgosh. I was wondering If I could request nurse!reader who is hired by silco to help his team when they get injured and sevika is acting more careless during her fights just so she can go see her 🙏🙏🙏🙏

-💌

okay this is so cute

men and minors dni

you'd been working for silco for months before you even meet sevika.

from what you've heard from the crew, sevika doesn't ask for help. she serves herself at the bar downstairs, she goes on her missions alone, and she patches herself up after fights. if she can't reach her wounds so be it.

so you're not surprised when the first time you're introduced to the woman, she's bleeding out, half sedated, and still resisting the way singed and silco are dragging her into your little office.

"'m fine, jus' need a drink..." sevika insists as they lay her down. you chuckle at your patient, pulling on a pair of gloves.

"you're bleeding out." you point out to the woman. she huffs.

"'s a scratch."

"the knife's still inside you."

sevika blinks down at her side and pouts, like she hadn't noticed the knife sticking out of her side.

"will you be able to handle this?" singed asks, slowly backing away toward the door. silco's already vanished. you nod and wave singed away-- sending him back to his creepy lab to run experiments.

"you're the new nurse?" sevika slurs as you help her lay down, preparing injections and stitches.

"nice to finally meet you." you chuckle, nodding down at sevika as you hand her a vial of shimmer. "drink this." you ask. sevika obeys surprisingly easily, not taking her eyes off you once. "i got something on my face?" you ask.

sevika's eyes get droopy-- the shimmer's doing it's job and knocking her out. but right before she sleeps, she shakes her head no. "jus' pretty, 's all." she mumbles, before closing her eyes and snoring.

you blink down at your patient, butterflies fluttering in your stomach at her words.

you only remember that you're supposed to be working when her blood starts dripping down onto the floor.

after that first meeting, you start seeing sevika a lot more frequently.

she comes in the next week with a nasty gash on her cheek-- courtesy of some brass knuckles-- and a bleeding lower lip.

and despite the fact that you get her fixed up in fifteen minutes, sevika spends the rest of the afternoon in your office, making small talk with you and asking you about your time with silco so far.

she's surprisingly conversational-- funny in a deadpan, blink and you'll miss it kind of way-- and the two of you laugh so much that you go home that evening with sore abs and cheeks.

you see her again not three days later-- her good arm having been dislocated in a fight.

"you don't know how to do this to yourself?" you ask as you try to get the proper angle on her arm. sevika's moaning into a pillow in a way that's making you think horrible, dirty things.

"y-you're more gentle." she grunts, before biting the pillow again.

her words fluster you, and you shove her arm back in place without warning.

sevika howls and you cringe. "sorry, sorry. it's over now though." you try to soothe her, gently petting her hair.

sevika's pained moans get quieter, but she doesn't lift up from where she's collapsed against you in her shock. instead, she nuzzles just a little closer, wrapping both of her arms around your waist.

you gulp-- hoping she can't hear how fucking fast your heart's beating in your chest-- before gently wrapping your arms around her shoulders. "you okay?" you ask.

sevika nods against you. "yeah. are you?" she asks, an offer to pull away.

you just cling to her. "i'm great."

sevika starts visiting you on a daily basis after that.

from a puncture wound to a paper cut-- sevika will take any excuse to see you.

you see right through her. it's hard not to, when she's always milking her injuries to get kisses on her bandages and hugs and head scratches. you love it. she's fucking adorable, and she's keeping your mostly boring work interesting. especially since she sticks around for hours after you're officially done with her.

but then she comes in one day-- more like she's dragged in unconscious-- with a gunshot wound to the chest, and your heart stops.

you and singed work overnight to get her stable. and then you stay by her bedside for the whole day, waiting for her to wake up.

the moment she does, you burst into tears. sevika just pulls you into bed with her, letting you curl up around her. before you fall asleep, your ear pressed right against her heart so you can be sure she's fine, you can feel her press a gentle kiss to your head, her own arms wrapping around you.

she gets a week off to recover, but you see her again two days later.

"what the fuck are you doing here?!" you ask as sevika walks into your office. she's holding a paper bag in her hands. "if silco is making you work so soon after you were shot i'm gonna fucking kill--"

"relax." sevika giggles, placing the paper bag on your desk. "i, uh. i have a confession." she says.

you giggle. "that you gotta crush on me?" you guess. "you're kinda obvious, sev." you tease.

sevika rolls her eyes and flips you off. "no, shut up. you like me back." she says. you giggle. "i, uh. i mighta been fighting stupidly to see you more often." she mumbles. "y'know. blockin' with my face, 'n shit. and it was workin' real well, but then i got shot and i realized maybe i should just... ask you to lunch, or something."

you grin. "it might be easier for all of us."

"fuck off." sevika giggles. "look. i got us jericho's." she gestures to the paper bag on your desk. you grin.

"sit." you demand, pointing to the free chair by your desk. sevika smirks at you, and pulls her chair out, before pausing.

"just, one thing..." she mutters.

"oh! don't worry about it, i started storin' hot sauce in my desk for you, sev--" she cuts you off with her lips to yours, and you sigh, melting into the kiss and wrapping your arms around her.

by the time she pulls away, her lipstick is smudged, and you're certain the food is cold. you don't care. especially not when sevika sinks down into the chair across from you with the sweetest smile you've ever seen.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

[wraithdance]

https://www.tumblr.com/wraithdance/765961917651140608/i-really-liked-your-explanation-of-the-whole?source=share

I am really bad at articulating my thoughts but I think about this a lot as someone who hopes to 1- major in neuroscience (i'm 18, going to uni next year) and 2- is trans. I know being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, very cognizant of that, but more to the point where I relate to the aspect of not being able to get over the like mental wall of seeing "neutral" readers as me? I don't know what my brain is doing when i read certain fics but sometimes i can't do it.

I feel like I should close read some of my favorite fic and least favorite fic to see if there are triggers I didn't notice on the first read. does that make sense or seem similar to what you experience? Again I know it's not the same thing, but like i am so curious as to what cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white.

I am sorry if this bothers you, really not my intentions, I am obviously a future brain nerd and i can't stop thinking about this

Congratulations fellow Nerd! You've activated my interest in Race theory and fandom writing from an academic perspective!

Writing reflects life and to answer this question properly, I have to talk about life shit to catch you up to speed, (this should help if you take a sociology or cultural anthropology class lmao) So, Welcome to:

Calvary yaps: Sociology & Intersectionality in fandom writing 101!

Disclaimer: I'm just a random bitch on the internet who loves English and the ridiculousness of social hierarchies, this will be referencing American social constructs and in groups only, with a focus on my experience as a Black American woman who reads a shit ton of books. Don't fight me if you hate my explanation, I will simply not respond.

Read my house rules before sending me an ask, I'm just being a dumb ass rn and word vomiting my interests, so pls i beg no follow up questions unless I say I'm open to em later.

Definitions to know:

Socialization: the act of preparing individuals to participate in society by learned social norms taught in ones family or social settings like school/friend groups. (one can be socialized in gender, race, cultural practices, etc.)

Social Hierarchies: systems of social organization in which some individuals enjoy a higher social status than others (in my opinion this is a lingering safety measure from lizard brain cavemen hunter/gatherer days)

Intersectionality: A term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw; The process of acknowledging the unique parallels a marginalized person experiences when they have more than one marginalization (ie: race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, size, etc.)

Matriarchal society: Social groups/family structures that center female figures as representatives of authority.

Implicit Bias: Unintentional bias a person may have towards a group or individual based on learned stereotypes, prejudices, perceptions based on another's background or state of being.

first, yes anon you are making sense! So the main question:

'What cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white?'

I've been mulling this question around in my head for a few days and tried to figure out how to articulate this without going into depth in Sociological theory, but I can't! So here we are lmao, this is long as fuck so TLDR here.

I've talked to a LOT of Black and PoC people over the last months because I thought I was the only one who felt strange or could tell immediately when a writer was white, despite doing the best job they could to be neutral.

Every person I spoke to agreed they could tell right away even if we don't share similar racial backgrounds.

The answer I've come up with to why that is, is because white people are socialized (taught by society/their parents how to behave) in a way many black and PoC people are not, so their reader characters will often act in a way PoC people have learned not to, so it flags for many of us.

I plan to answer another question about this at a later date so an example is with shit like:

An over deference to hyper masculine male characters (for PoC cultures like certain Black/Latine groups that are often matriarchal in nature and don’t ascribe to as many traditional gender roles, this is a flag), lack of interpersonal/familial connection, over meekness, no challenging of external factors so things just HAPPEN to the reader and lack of awareness of surroundings to name a few. 

A lot of the language of the irl world places white cis people from Western countries as the default and everyone else as others. In which, PoC people have learned to navigate the world very carefully with a hyper-focus on what will potentially bring them harm/scrutiny/ostracism especially in white dominant spaces.

That extends to when we have down time while reading or partaking in media smfh.

I'm sure you've had to learn the same as a trans person navigating cis spaces and it's the same with any marginalization! If you are disabled you have an awareness of able bodied people and their expectations, same with being fat amongst skinny people, etc.

The more marginalizations you have, the louder the rules of social hierarchies become. Which is why many marginalized ppl stick close to those who 'get it' in their social groups as an act of safety in numbers. (Many of us attempt to have strong family connection/harmony because of this)

So referring to your comment about being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, it is when you are a Black or PoC trans person! My angel face @/buttdumplin has spoken a lot about that as a Mexican transman reading fics by cis people!

(Please for the love of God no one come to me explaining how marginalized they are so they shouldn't be lumped in with the white ppl PoC are cognizant of, I will check myself into a psych ward)

So what does that gotta do with reading fics?

No matter what anyone thinks, it is damn near impossible to not frame your writing from the perspective of your lived experiences. It's why even when I try my hardest to make my characters not sound Black, they will always read that way because I have been Black all of my life!

And it doesn't just happen with race, go on tiktok and search male authors writing women. (or here's another article lmao)

Also ask a Southerner how they know someone has never been to the South and don't know shit about our accents when they write Graves. There are linguistic tells that flag off and why we flame actors who pick up southern accents for their roles.

(They chew on that terrible goddamn Appalachian or Louisiana Accent not realizing Southern accents come in many fonts.)

So when I read a fic about Kyle Garrick from a non black person, I can tell the writer is non black by linguistic implications, the things they emphasize about him and what they don't. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading fics from non black people, I can just tell!

And sometimes that means I, and other PoC's associate the Reader as a white OC while reading fics.

For example, all black people are not monolithic because of our cultural and regional experiences, but many of us share common threads. That's usually family involvement, colloquialisms, that stupid fucking cookie tin our elders put sewing supplies in...

Other non Black PoC people might share similar cultural practices, so when I'm reading fics from say a latina, I will cock my head and go wait.... are you...? And surely enough, they are a person of color. 

But even while reading from a non black PoC, I have to tread carefully because anti black sentiment exists in many cultures, which is why you'll hear me say Black and PoC/Non black people interchangeably.

It’s how the conversation of Implicit bias comes up, because unknowingly non white characters can sometimes be written with a hyper focus that makes them seem inhumanly one characteristic or with little to no background while the other characters are fully fleshed out.

like the character of color is just a stand in to move the plot around white characters forward. 

So all that to say, without sometimes meaning to white writers will always sound off to me in a way that my brain can pick up on in the most minuscule ways because my awareness of my blackness/otherness has been drilled in from birth and reinforced by social norms.

I can even tell immediately if a white person has been around only white spaces their whole life with the jokes they tell lol.

In the grand scheme of things the race of the writer is most important to me when something jarring comes up that slaps me away from the experience, it explains so much of the disconnect.

Every marginalized person has a threshold for what they can ignore as a ‘trigger’ before they’re ejected from reader inserts, mine is usually the association with racial historical happenings, certain gender dynamics, etc.

It's why I mention crying like a little bitch when I read my friend Jess's (Kyletogaz) TF 141 Hair series, Dragon’s (Dragonnarative-writes) Transferrable Skills, and even Xavi's (Buttdumplin) Piercing fic.

Reading those fics felt like safety and familiarity. It was a moment where I realized I could drop the mental load I had no idea I was carrying, where I was trying to prepare myself for potential emotional damage and just READ.

It's also why as a Black person who fucks with kink and sex work it's been so touch and go when navigating dark fics/kink fics/fics about Sex workers.

Because there are different rules of engagement non white kinksters have to be aware of and that leads to a point on the collective vs. Individual experience as a PoC in kink, that I’ll eventually make a post about at some point or another. Maybe…

So yeah I’m tired of yapping. I hope this long shit was enough of an explanation!! Thanks to my friends Kiko, Jules, Xavi and Folded for yapping with me so I could articulate this better!!

[pokemonshelterstories]

I help run a haunted house every year and a few of us bring our more 'spooky' Pokemon to help set the atmosphere. (Ghost types, some Purrloin wandering around ect.) Well typically what I did with my Zoroark back before he evolved was having him set an illusion to look like me or a coworker in costume so it looks like we're in two places at the same time. He got to play with illusions and we got some extra jump scares in. All in good fun right?

The problem is that since he evolved he's been experimenting more with his illusions. This morning, when doing a walkthrough of the house and dress rehearsal, he set some illusions making entire rooms look different and hiding path markers.

Now, this is a pretty big house with quite a few off limits rooms that contain equipment and things that could be dangerous to guests if they were to wander in without knowing. Of course, I know the whole layout of the place by now and was able to notice pretty quickly but I'm worried that, if Zoroark plays this prank with guests present, someone might accidentally wander into the wrong room and get hurt.

He's always been able to differentiate when he's 'working' and been well behaved during those times but he's also never pulled a prank this risky before and I'm worried. Is there a way to make sure he doesn't do that while we're open or should I just cut his act entirely for a bit until this gets figured out?

absolutely pull him from work until you've figured out why he's started getting...creative. to be honest, this reads like territorial behavior to me. these elaborate illusions are how zoroark protect their pack and disguise their dens. zorua are much shier than zoroark, and their first instinct when threatened is to use their illusions to blend in and hide. but zoroark are much more capable of large-scale illusions, and they're more aggressive about getting rid of people they don't like. do you specifically train him to be around large numbers of people year-round, or is this something you only do this one part of the year? does he have ways to get away and take a break? i can't say for certain without actually seeing him to assess his behavior, but just based on what you've said, this honestly sounds to me like he doesn't particularly enjoy the crowds and is using his illusions to protect himself.

in any case, creating random illusions- especially ones that alter how the layout of the house looks- definitely disqualifies him from doing this job until you get things sorted. you're right that somebody could get hurt, and this is dangerous to the staff, the guests, and any other pokemon. if somebody did get hurt, you'd also be liable, since he's your pokemon. i'd get in touch with a professional trainer to see what's going on.

[spiderb00]

Clueless - Daniela Avanzini

Daniela Avanzini X reader 

Synopsis: You were surprised to see, that a woman like that would really be into you. 

Genre: Fluff 

a/n: I think I'm going to write for other people outside of Katseye, I don't know, I'm experimenting. But while that doesn't happen, I had this plot idea with Daniela. 

Maybe I made a mistake in writing, I'm too lazy to revise. <3 

You met Dani a few weeks ago, it wasn't planned, but it ended up happening. The agreement was that you would stop by the Kats' house to pick up Megan, a mutual friend of yours, Kylie Cantrall, had asked the two of you to hang out. 

It turns out that Megan wasn't ready when you arrived, so while you were on the couch, fiddling with your phone, a voice took your attention away. 

"Uh, hello?" when you looked up your mind tied a knot. Sure, you'd already seen Daniela in Katseye's MV, but damn, She looked prettier up close.

"Hi, I'm Yn, sorry, I'm just waiting for Megan." You said, trying not to look like an idiot. 

"Oh sure, Yn, Megan talks a lot about you. I'm Daniela." She says shaking your hand. It could be something in your head, but she had looked you up and down, she seemed to be checking on you.   

"So, are you and Megan something more or what?" Daniela says biting her lower lip. Her head was racing, how could she be so incredibly hot?   

"What? No, we're just good friends." you say, your voice faltering.  

"Good to know." She says as she looks at you.   

Your head doesn't have time to process what she said, because Megan had just appeared in the room, dragging you out and saying goodbye to Daniela.   

Your other opportunity to meet Daniela was when you and Megan got together for a sleepover. The orange-haired girl proposed that you spend the night right after a party. And as it seemed too dangerous to return home at that time, you accepted the invitation.   

So there you were, coming out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a spider-man t-shirt, courtesy of the changes of clothes you leave in your car. When you opened the door, Daniela was there, in all her glory, leaning against the doorframe. And you could drool in her pajamas, even if it was just a big sweatshirt and short shorts. 

"Wow, I must have done something really good to get the universe to leave you in my bathroom." If it came from anyone else, you'd think it's extremely stupid, but when it comes out of Daniela's mouth, it sounds like the most beautiful poem.  

"Hi Dani, I'm sorry, if I had known you wanted to use the bathroom I would have been quicker." You said, thanking the heavens that your mind was able to formulate a sentence.   

"It's okay, the wait was worth it, you're cute in your pajamas." She said as she fiddled with the collar of her T-shirt.  

Goosebumps running through your body, your short-circuited brain can't formulate anything, but you can hear a giggle from Dani in the background, followed by the bathroom door closing.   

You've always been interested in music, and when Lara said she needed a guitar riff for a production she was working on, you immediately offered to help her.  

So now while Lara was getting some snacks in the kitchen you were in her room working on the riff you would make, so concentrated that you didn't hear Daniela's footsteps getting closer and closer.   

"I didn't think you could get hotter, but I underestimated you." she said, a smile on her face when she saw you jump slightly in fright.  

"Dani, I didn't know you were there." You said, nervous hands scratching the back of your neck.  

"How long have you been playing guitar?" she asks sitting next to him, in the chair where Lara used to be occupied.   

"Since I was a child. I've always loved music, so I kind of love all of it." You said, your eyes traveling between Daniela, your guitar and Lara's things.  

"This is so cool, I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar, maybe you can teach me one day." Daniela says, her gaze never averting from you, making you more nervous.  

"Of course, I'd love to hear you sing too, you have a very beautiful voice." 

Daniela smiles when you look at her, the two of you in silence. Her intense looks seemed to mean something, something you didn't know.   

"You're very pretty," Daniela says, her eyes moving from your mouth back to your eyes.  

"What? Have you seen yourself? You're one of the prettiest girls I know, Dani."   

Again, she doesn't say anything, her big brown eyes staring at you. It seemed that with every second she became more beautiful, How is this possible?

The exchange of glances was interrupted when Lara entered the room, her hand full of snacks and red bull, the perfect combination for hours of work.   

"Dani, I love you, but it's not time to make your move, we have a lot to work on.   

Lara said, shooing a half-dazed Daniela out of her chair.   

What did you mean by "making your move"? 

By this time your friendship with the Kats was much stronger, you loved those girls, but you were still confused by Dani's advances, you kept telling yourself that this should be her way, just a relaxed way to play with your friends. Yes, that was it, you knew friends who flirted, it's okay.  

Man, you couldn't be more wrong.   

It was Lara's birthday, everyone was having fun at the surprise party that Lara's girlfriend ;) prepared. Everything seemed calm, you even started flirting with a girl, one of Lara's friends, you were talking and laughing here and there, to be honest you didn't have much in common, but it wouldn't hurt to exchange a few words. 

Everything seemed right, until you felt footsteps approaching.   

"Excuse me, I can talk to Yn a second, thank you." Daniela pulled you without waiting for answers from the girl you were talking to, and soon you found yourself locked inside one of the rooms of the house.   

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Daniela screamed, you were surprised, of course. Why was this extremely beautiful and hot girl yelling at you?  

"What? What did I do?" You said, your shoulders slumping as you waited for an explanation from the Latina in front of you. 

"You were letting that girl flirt with you!" The Latina looked furious and disappointed, you just didn't understand why.   

"Dani, it's okay, why are you so mad about this?"   

“’CAUSE IT SHOULD BE ME!"   

When the curly-haired girl screamed you weren't sure anything, you weren't sure if you had heard it right, you weren't sure if they were talking about the same thing. Damn, you weren't even sure if she was yelling at the right person.   

"What... What does that mean?"  

"It means I like you." Daniela sits on the bed, looking defeated.   

"I've liked you since the day I met you, every moment we spend together, every moment we're interrupted by someone, all those moments, I just wish I could say I like you. But it looks like you're so dumb-"  

"Hey!" You interrupted.   

"I flirted with you, I tried to impress you, I tried to get us to spend more time together, but nothing worked." Daniela said, her voice growing with each word, making the Latina get up from the bed, making her gaze travel from the floor to you, only to see you wide-eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights. 

"You're so oblivious to everything around you, I just wanted you to ask me out, idiot! I didn't want to spend another minute without you holding my hand or kissing me. And all I've done, for all these months is send you signals, that you clearly don't understand why you're-"  

Suddenly the room was silent again, Daniela's complaints fading as her hands wrapped around your hair, if it was you she wanted, then she would have it.   

Your hands pulled her waist closer, so close that it felt like the two of you could enter each other's bodies. All the stored desire now completely exposed in the kiss you shared, Daniela seemed to melt in your hands and when you least expected it you were kissing desperately and walking to bed.   

When your knees bent and you fell on the bed, you could feel Daniela's legs on either side of your body, the feeling was invigorating, you both seemed to have been waiting for this forever, Daniela knows better. Then, when the breath started to go away, you moved away, Daniela resting her hands on your abdomen, looking at you with heart eyes.  

"I'm not very good at understanding tips, for me it was just a joke." you said, being the first to break the silence.   

"I gave you all the signs I could." The curly-haired girl said as she rolled her eyes and smiled at you. 

"yes, but how was I going to know that a woman like that was really into me." You said, as you sat still with her on your lap, stealing a quick kiss from the Latina.   

"Well, now you know, what are you going to do about it?" She said as she wrapped her arms around your neck.   

"I'm going to go on a date with the hottest girl in the world." 

[alltimefail]

I wrote a ridiculously long response that turned into basically a fic outline for this question from the Save The Dead Boys Twitter account, and I'm sharing it here so I can link the alt text for people who may want or need it (because Twitter's alt-text limits characters for some reason??? very annoying).

(Source)

Without further ado, The Dead Boy Detectives Zoo episode no one asked for is under the cut 😂

I think a day at the London Zoo would make an incredibly interesting backdrop for an episode!

Edwin has more than likely never been to the zoo, as the London Zoo itself did not open until 1928, years after he died. Charles and Crystal, however, have most certainly been to the London Zoo. Niko has been to a zoo before too, just not the one in London quite yet.

I imagine it happens like this: a ghost client who worked at the London Zoo and died due to being attacked by one of the animals comes in distraught. At first, no one understands the unfinished business or mystery of it; they just feel bad for the person because that's a horrifying way to die obviously, but they know HOW they died/where they died/when they died so it seems pretty cut and dry. That's when the ghost tells them that they'd worked there for years, specifically in the exhibit they died in, and the animals had never so much as bitten the workers in malice, nonetheless had bouts of uncontrollable rage. The only thing they remember before the attack is the animal spasming and acting in pain - that's why the worker intervened, to help - and then everything is muddy from there. The eyes of the animal, however, were the strange part... they had almost a sparkling sheen over them... and that's when the boys realize something is afoot.

They take the case and the client leaves, Charles goes pattering on about how it had been "Literally forever" since he went to a proper zoo, just waxing nostalgic and excited as he does, and the girls are bantering along with him because Niko says she's never been to London's zoo, and that's when Edwin pipes up, nonchalantly like, "Ah yes, I suppose I've never been either, now that you mention it." Charles is just... flabbergasted at this, he's like "MATE, you've never been to London Zoo?" and Edwin good-naturedly rolls his eyes and is like, "I have not been to any zoo, Charles, as the very concept was not even around when I was alive," and he'd probably say more but the look on Charles' face is kind of sad and sheepish because he should have known that, shouldn't of he? Edwin immediately goes to reassure him before Niko breaks the tension (observative as she is) and she's like, "OMG guys, this is perfect! We all get to experience it together, it'll be so perfect!" and Crystal is like, "Yeah, unlike you two who can just waltz right in, Niko and I will have to buy tickets. Might as well get our money's worth and stick around after."

The day starts all fun and nothing really seems amiss until another person is nearly attacked while they're there, and this time it's a child: like the animal is literally beating at the enclosure divider so hard they crack it trying to attack, and fortunately no one ends up hurt but Charles and Edwin do their little signature look at each other because they know SOMETHING is going on.

The case becomes time-sensitive then, and high stakes, so they regroup somewhere quiet where the girls won't get weird looks and that's when they're approached by a shapeshifter deity who has been skulking about the zoo for years (maybe they used to be a God or something before being reborn) and they give good intel, and it'd be funny because you KNOW Charles' hackles are up after Port Townsend and the whole Cat King and Monty debacle, and he's misinterpreting everything this animal shifter does as flirting to the point that eventually the deity calls Charles out for it in a "I don't want your man" kind of way. That's like the B-Plot going on and it would be hilarious, and even Edwin would find that part a little funny/gratifying because he's not dumb and he's SEEN Charles' change in behavior lmao.

Anyway this is now turning into an outline for a fic jfc the TLDR of the rest is that they realize some asshole kid came into possession of some dark magic materials and has been coming to the zoo and practicing the spells on the animals, just being a mischievous shit who thought animals would be easier to start with than humans and wanting to see what they would do. The gang has to fight the little shit, but they're eventually able to get the book away from him and Crystal, the godsend that she is, wipes his memory.

Afterward, they DO actually explore the zoo for fun, and Edwin is transfixed and telling everyone all the facts he knows about the animals. When he doesn't know anything off the top of his head, he reads the displays out loud and jots down the best bits. Charles is absolutely delighted and apologizes for not bringing Edwin sooner, but Edwin is having none of that and they have one of their sweet "Edwin and Charles" domestic moments. They're interrupted by Crystal clearing her throat and Niko giggling, one eyebrow raised because the girls KNOW, okay? But they don't say anything and Charles just steps back (when did they get so close??) and he wraps an arm around Edwin's shoulders and leads the way to the next exhibit. The girls share a lunch of various little junk foods one would only indulge in at a place like the zoo, and all of them leave with a little souvenir (Niko's idea) that they picked out for each other (it ends up working out that Niko picks Crystal's, Charles picks Niko's, Crystal picks Edwin's, and Edwin picks Charles').

From that day forward the group decides to take the time to do at least 1 "Fun" day a month that isn't inspired by casework!

[alexandraisyes]

hi, same anon that asked if your symptoms go away or not. no clue why I worded it like that, but I meant if you experience it worse in intervals (obviously the symptoms are always there but get more noticeable at certain times). since you've answered my (horribly worded) question already, though, I raise another question: are there any resources that aren't horrifically ableist, where I can look further into ASPD, its symptoms and how they interact with things such as autism and other cluster B disorders? I ask so I don't keep asking you circular questions like you're equipped to diagnose a stranger with a personality disorder.

Resources are far and few to come by. A lot of what I know has been through extensive interpersonal study (talking to other people with the disorder). The fact of the matter is that most people with the disorder don’t freely talk about the disorder. You can look in online forum spaces if you want, or just get lucky and meet someone with the disorder in real life or happen to get super lucky and they’re already in your friend group. I have a sociopath and a malignant narcissist in my current friend group.

Understanding neurology would also help you in understanding any disorder, because there’s plenty of research on the neurological side of ASPD. Just not a lot of the psychological side. But if you understand neurology you understand psychology (most psychologists don’t fully understand neurology, they’re two different types of medicine with far different fields).

If you’re looking for how it interacts with other cluster b disorders, you can probably find at the very least one, maybe up to ten different “influencers” who are malignant narcissists (ASPD + NPD) who talk about the disorder on varying platforms. As stereotyped as it is, narcissists do actually love to talk about themselves.

As far as how it interacts with other neurodivergencies? Just ask someone with ASPD if they have comorbid neurodivergent disorders and what it’s like. However you aren’t going to find anything on having comorbid ASPD and autism. The two physically cannot coexist on a neurological level. (Trust me, I tried, I had a misdiagnosis of autism and was trying to wrap my head around it too).

So if someone with ASPD tells you they’re also autistic they’re wrong. They either don’t have ASPD or they don’t have autism. It’s always one or the other.

This is because ASPD and ASD are both largely caused by the amygdala. In ASD the amygdala is enlarged, growing abnormally quick between 6 and 12 months old. So you aren’t actually born autistic, but you may as well be. The faster the amygdala grows during that time the more severe the symptoms are presenting and the younger the symptoms will be noticeable.

ASPD on the other handle is caused by a reduced amygdala. Deformed sounds harsh but yeah it’s basically deformed. It’s smaller than normal, with an extremely regressed growth rate.

I could potentially go into the specifics but that’s a whole other post.

And I can’t diagnose anyone, online or off, so I will never try to. However, I am a reliable resource for understanding ASPD since it quite literally plagues me. So I can at the very least answer questions about something I’m unreasonably specialized in. Especially when the majority people in the psychiatric field of medicine aren’t specialized in it at all and there’s not enough genuine research for them to fake it either. And unfortunately most people aren’t willing to have compassion for things they don’t understand.

[isfjmel-phleg]

&

[hauntingblue]

Kaido lore?!

[luulapants]

talking to people recently out of prison: a do-and-don't guide

Don't ask, "How was prison?" (Answer: traumatic!)

Do ask, "What are you most looking forward to doing again now that you're out?"

Don't ask, "How long were you in for?" (Answer: too long!)

Do ask, "Is there any technology or pop culture I can help catch you up on?"

Don't ask, "How are you going to avoid getting back into bad behaviors?" (Leave the paternalistic bullshit to their PO.)

Do ask, "How's your support network? Do you have people helping you adjust?"

Don't ask, "Do you have a job yet?" (Their PO is asking them ALL the time, don't worry.)

Do ask, "Are there any opportunities I should keep an ear out for and let you know about?"

Don't ask, "Do you have an ankle monitor?" (And definitely don't ask to see it - no one likes to be gawked at.)

Do ask, "Do you have parole restrictions we need to accommodate when making plans?"

Don't say, "Hey, you shouldn't be doing that - it's against your parole!" (A lot of parole restrictions are bullshit, and they are an adult who deserves agency, even the agency to take risks.)

Do ask, "Are there any bullshit parole restrictions you need help working around?"

Don't ask, "Are you an addict?" (Not everyone in prison is, and they'll tell you if they want you to know.)

Do say, "If there's stuff you might get in trouble for, like empty alcohol containers, I can throw them away at my place."

Don't say, "It's probably best if you put your whole prison life behind you and start fresh." (Just because it was traumatic doesn't mean important experiences and relationships didn't happen there.)

Do say, "If you have letters from friends on the inside that you don't want your PO to find, you can keep them at my place."

Don't say, "You paid your debt to society." (Regardless of what they may have done, harm cannot be repaid through senseless suffering.)

Do say, "You are more than the worst thing you've ever done."

Do not ever ask "What were you arrested for?"/"What did you do?"/"Were you guilty?"

People are more than the worst thing they've ever done.

[calamitys-child]

Listening to a podcast discussing conspiracy theories and deconstructing the ideas behind them and it's reminded me of the coolest practical lessons in critical thinking I ever got, both in high school, both from the same teacher. One was a month long project on who killed jfk in which we could basically present any theory as long as we cited all our reasons and it got us really excited about research and interpretation, but it was the follow up that I liked best.

Our next project she brought us into class and showed us a documentary claiming the moon landing was faked. Gave us worksheets to do that sided with that stance. And at the end of class a bunch of us were like miss wait this doesn't seem right?? and she said okay, we'll discuss that next week. The next lesson, she showed us a mythbusters episode countering all the claims of the original documentary and gave us worksheets for that, and another bunch of people went wait miss you can't teach us two opposing things, which one is right? What do we put on the exam??

So she split the class in two and told us each to present a case based on each side, and to explain why our source was or wasn't the more reliable of the two. Got us to debate each other directly and use additional sources to back us up and explain why those sources were reliable and should be believed. And because they were randomly assigned there was no guarantee you'd agree with the stance you were presenting, but you had to present it like you did. At the end of the project she asked us all which stance we found more convincing and why, and the majority of us basically said "we think that the moon landing is real because most of the arguments against it seem like someone reacted to a confusing thing without testing it, but when you test it and ask the person running the test to explain the science it makes sense once you have more information. Also, one documentary was made with the help of scientists with qualifications and experience and the other was made by people who don't have that but like to write mystery books, which looks like a less reliable way to get an answer. But we still dont understand why you showed us both if one is wrong."

And she was like excellent. You've done exactly what you should do. At high school level, we as teachers are expected to filter for the reliable sources for you, so you know to repeat that to pass an exam, but if you want to be historians on your own, I won't be your teacher any more once you graduate. Lots of people have opinions and theories and research about times in history, and it's your job to learn how to look at them and decide who you want to trust. This won't be on the exam, but I need you all to know it. You all did a great job following the school's instructions to repeat information you were given, but for some of you, that information wasn't on a reliable foundation. I know you all know how to pass an exam. You're smart and you've been trained to follow these instructions. What you deserve to be taught is how to use all this once you don't have to do exams any more.

And then as a reward for us doing a good job at figuring out the value of checking your sources' sources she let us watch Bush get hit in the face with a shoe before we had to go to maths. Shoutout to you Ms Hannah you were a good'un I hope you're doing well ten years on from that class

[shotmrmiller]

single dad simon not knowing how to be a dad. not his thing. doesn't get it. hand him a gun and he can take it apart and put it back together in his sleep. but a diaper? formula? baby food??? knows next to nothing.

so you see him, miserable old man with sunken dark eyes, hunched shoulders and a screaming baby at his doorstep with groceries in his hand and decide to help. (besides, you're also suffering with a lack of proper sleep)

he's not a good dad but he's a protective one. he's at your throat in an instant, baby in arm almost behind his back, ready to sink his teeth into your jugular. you squeak out that you're a part time babysitter. you can help. you've got the most experience with babies her age.

you keep your eyes on him, tired eyes now sharp as flint. it's scary how quickly he'd moved. footsteps barely a whisper. his breath chills your skin.

threatens you with your life if so much as a hair on her head is hurt. he must be really tired if he's willing to accept help being this defensive.

you take the chunky babe and bounce her as he opens the door to his flat. you don't dislike kids but you're not their biggest fan either. babysitting is just a means to an end. easy money that goes toward your tuition.

simon, you come to learn, doesn't care. he thinks you're the missing parent. he doesn't ask you if you can help watch over the child. simply knocks on your door and hands her to you with the diaper bag. mutters that he'll be back and with food.

he helps himself to your couch when you tell him that the baby is asleep. takes off his shoes and is snoring in seconds. simon also doesn't help the rumors going around the building. "a terrible parent, you are. how could you abandon your baby and husband? he's been struggling for months!"

simon leaves you sputtering when he tells them to stop talking about his missus like that or he'll kill them in their sleep. burp the baby, pet, or she'll keep us up all night.

at least he pays well :/

(if you go out for a friends night, which he will drop you off so stop talking about uber, he's telling you to go say goodbye to our baby who happens to be asleep in her crib and if you're wearing a short little number he's gonna watch you bend over to kiss her fat little cheek before he takes you to the bathroom to eat it from the back and is sending you to his car with trembling legs and a slap to your arse. don't look so tasty next time idk)

[kira-akira]

What I Want You To Know About Long COVID

Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.

Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.

COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.

Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).

There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.

So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.

COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.

The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".

Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."

There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.

You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.

I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.

This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.

Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.

Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.

Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.

Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.

Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.

And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.

Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.

I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.

[neverendingford]

.

[autistichalsin]

In retrospect, four years later, I feel like the Isabel Fall incident was just the biggest ignored cautionary tale modern fandom spaces have ever had. Yes, it wasn't limited to fandom, it was also a professional author/booktok type argument, but it had a lot of crossover.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: a writer, whether fan or pro, publishes a work. If one were to judge a book by its cover, something we are all taught in Kindergarten shouldn't happen but has a way of occurring regardless, one might find that there was something that seemed deeply problematic about this work. Maybe the title or summary alluded to something Wrong happening, or maybe the tags indicated there was problematic kinks or relationships. And that meant the story was Bad. So, a group of people takes to the Twittersphere to inform everyone who will listen why the work, and therefore the author, are Bad. The author, receiving an avalanche of abuse and harassment, deactivates their account, and checks into a mental health facility for monitoring for suicidal ideation. They never return to their writing space, and the harassers get a slap on the wrist (if that- usually they get praise and high-fives all around) and start waiting for their next victim to transgress.

Sounds awful familiar, doesn't it?

Isabel Fall's case, though, was even more extreme for many reasons. See, she made the terrible mistake of using a transphobic meme as the genesis to actually explore issues of gender identity.

More specifically, she used the phrase "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" to examine how marginalized identities, when they become more accepted, become nothing more than a tool for the military-industrial complex to rebrand itself as a more personable and inclusive atrocity; a chance to pursue praise for bombing brown children while being progressive, because queer people, too, can help blow up brown children now! It also contained an examination of identity and how queerness is intrinsic to a person, etc.

But... well, if harassers ever bothered to read the things they critique, we wouldn't be here, would we? So instead, they called Isabel a transphobic monster for the title alone, even starting a misinformation campaign to claim she was, in fact, a cis male nazi using a fake identity to psyop the queer community.

A few days later, after days of horrific abuse and harassment, Isabel requested that Clarkesworld magazine pull the story. She checked in to a psych ward with suicidal thoughts. That wasn't all, though; the harassment was so bad that she was forced to out herself as trans to defend against the claims.

Only... we know this type of person, the fandom harassers, don't we? You know where this is going. Outing herself did nothing to stop the harassment. No one was willing to read the book, much less examine how her sexuality and gender might have influenced her when writing it.

So some time later, Isabel deleted her social media. She is still alive, but "Isabel Fall" is not- because the harassment was so bad that Isabel detransitioned/closeted herself, too traumatized to continue living her authentic life.

Supposed trans allies were so outraged at a fictional portrayal of transness, written by a trans woman, that they harassed a real life trans woman into detransitioning.

It's heartbreakingly familiar, isn't it? Many of us in fandom communities have been in Isabel's shoes, even if the outcome wasn't so extreme (or in some cases, when it truly was). Most especially, many of us, as marginalized writers speaking from our own experiences in some way, have found that others did not enjoy our framework for examining these things, and hurt us, members of those identities, in defense of "the community" as a nebulous undefined entity.

There's a quote that was posted in a news writeup about the whole saga that was published a year after the fact. The quote is:

The delineation between paranoid and reparative readings originated in 1995, with influential critic Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick. A paranoid reading focuses on what’s wrong or problematic about a work of art. A reparative reading seeks out what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art, even if the work is flawed. Importantly, a reparative reading also tends to consider what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art for someone who isn’t the reader. This kind of nuance gets completely worn away on Twitter, home of paranoid readings. “[You might tweet], ‘Well, they didn’t discuss X, Y, or Z, so that’s bad!’ Or, ‘They didn’t’ — in this case — ‘discuss transness in a way that felt like what I feel about transness, therefore it is bad.’ That flattens everything into this very individual, very hostile way of reading,” Mandelo says. “Part of reparative reading is trying to think about how a story cannot do everything. Nothing can do everything. If you’re reading every text, fiction, or criticism looking for it to tick a bunch of boxes — like if it represents X, Y, and Z appropriately to my definitions of appropriate, and if it’s missing any of those things, it’s not good — you’re not really seeing the close focus that it has on something else.”

A paranoid reading describes perfectly what fandom culture has become in the modern times. It is why "proship", once simply a word for common sense "don't engage with what you don't like, and don't harass people who create it either" philosophies, has become the boogeyman of fandom, a bad and dangerous word. The days of reparative readings, where you would look for things you enjoyed, are all but dead. Fiction is rarely a chance to feel joy; it's an excuse to get angry, to vitriolically attack those different from oneself while surrounded with those who are the same as oneself. It's an excuse to form in-groups and out-groups that must necessarily be in a constant state of conflict, lest it come across like This side is accepting That side's faults. In other words, fandom has become the exact sort of space as the nonfandom spaces it used to seek to define itself against.

It's not about joy. It's not about resonance with plot or characters. It's about hate. It's about finding fault. If they can't find any in the story, they will, rest assured, create it by instigating fan wars- dividing fandom into factions and mercilessly attacking the other.

And that's if they even went so far as to read the work they're critiquing. The ones they don't bother to read, as you saw above, fare even worse. If an AO3 writer tagged an abuser/victim ship, it's bad, it's fetishism, even if the story is about how the victim escapes. If a trans writer uses the title "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter" to find a framework to dissect rainbow-washing the military-industrial complex, it's unforgivable. It's a cesspool of kneejerk reactions, moralizing discomfort, treating good/evil as dichotomous categories that can never be escaped, and using that complex as an excuse to heap harassment on people who "deserve it." Because once you are Bad, there is no action against you that is too Bad for you to deserve.

Isabel Fall's story follows this so step-by-step that it's like a textbook case study on modern fandom behavior.

Isabel Fall wrote a short story with an inflammatory title, with a genesis in transphobic mockery, in the hopes of turning it into a genuine treatise on the intersection of gender and sexuality and the military-industrial complex. But because audiences are unprepared for the idea of inflammatory rhetoric as a tool to force discomfort to then force deeper introspection... they zeroed in on the discomfort. "I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter"- the title phrase, not the work- made them uncomfortable. We no longer teach people how to handle discomfort; we live in a world of euphemism and glossing over, a world where people can't even type out the words "kill" and rape", instead substituting "unalive" and "grape." We don't deal with uncomfortable feelings anymore; we censor them, we transform them, we sanitize them. When you are unable to process discomfort, when you are never given self-soothing tools, your only possible conclusion is that anything Uncomfortable must be Bad, and the creator must either be censored too, or attacked into conformity so that you never again experience the horrors of being Uncomfortable.

So the masses took to Twitter, outraged. They were Uncomfortable, and that de facto meant that they had been Wronged. Because the content was related to trans identity issues, that became the accusation; it was transphobic, inherently. It couldn't be a critique of bigger and more fluid systems than gender identity alone; it was a slight against trans people. And no amount of explanations would change their minds now, because they had already been aggrieved and made to feel Uncomfortable.

Isabel Fall was now a Bad Person, and we all know what fandom spaces do to Bad People. Bad People, because they are Bad, will always be deserving of suicide bait and namecalling and threatening. Once a person is Bad, there is no way to ever become Good again. Not by refuting the accusations (because the accusations are now self-evident facts; "there is a callout thread against them" is its own tautological proof that wrongdoing has happened regardless of the veracity of the claims in the callout) and not by apologizing and changing, because if you apologize and admit you did the Bad thing, you are still Bad, and no matter what you do in future, you were once Bad and that needs to be brought up every time you are mentioned. If you are bad, you can NEVER be more than what you were at your worst (in their definition) moment. Your are now ontologically evil, and there is no action taken against you that can be immoral.

So Isabel was doomed, naturally. It didn't matter that she outed herself to explain that she personally had lived the experience of a trans woman and could speak with authority on the atrocity of rainbow-washing the military industrial complex as a proaganda tool to capture progressives. None of it mattered. She had written a work with an Uncomfortable phrase for a title, the readers were Uncomfortable, and someone had to pay for it.

And that's the key; pay for it. Punishment. Revenge. It's never about correcting behavior. Restorative justice is not in this group's vocabulary. You will, incidentally, never find one of these folks have a stance against the death penalty; if you did Bad as a verb, you are Bad as an intrinsic, inescapable adjective, and what can you do to incorrigible people but kill them to save the Normal people? This is the same principle, on a smaller scale, that underscores their fandom activities; if a Bad fan writes Bad fiction, they are a Bad person, and their fandom persona needs to die to save Normal fans the pain of feeling Uncomfortable.

And that's what happened to Isabel Fall. The person who wrote the short story is very much alive, but the pseudonym of Isabel Fall, the identity, the lived experiences coming together in concert with imagination to form a speculative work to critique deeply problematic sociopolitical structures? That is dead. Isabel Fall will never write again, even if by some miracle the person who once used the name does. Even if she ever decides to restart her transition, she will be permanently scarred by this experience, and will never again be able to share her experience with us as a way to grow our own empathy and challenge our understanding of the world. In spirit, but not body, fandom spaces murdered Isabel Fall.

And that's... fandom, anymore. That's just what is done, routinely and without question, to Bad people. Good people are Good, so they don't make mistakes, and they never go too far when dealing with Bad people. And Bad people, well, they should have thought before they did something Bad which made them Bad people.

Isabel Fall's harassment happened in early 2020, before quarantine started, but it was in so many ways a final chance for fandom to hit the breaks. A chance for fandom to think collectively about what it wanted to be, who it wanted to be for and how it wanted to do it. And fandom looked at this and said, "more, please." It continues to harass marginalized people, especially fans of color and queen fans, into suffering mental breakdowns. With gusto.

Any ideas of reparative reading is dead. Fandom runs solely on paranoid readings. And so too is restorative justice gone for fandom transgressions, real or imagined. It is now solely about punitive, vigilante justice. It's a concerted campaign to make sure oddballs conform or die (in spirit, but sometimes even physically given how often mentally ill individuals are pushed into committing suicide).

It's a deeply toxic environment and I'm sad to say that Isabel Fall's story was, in retrospect, a sort of event horizon for the fandom. The gravitational pull of these harassment campaigns is entirely too strong now and there is no escaping it. I'm sorry, I hate to say something so bleak, but thinking the last few days about the state of fandom (not just my current one but also others I watch from the outside), I just don't think we can ever go back to peaceful "for joy" engagement, not when so many people are determined to use it as an outlet for lateral aggression against other people.

[trans-axolotl]

what do you mean reverse an overdose? How is that possible?

Hi anon.

So, in my most recent post where I was talking about reversing overdoses, I was talking about Narcan (naloxone).

Narcan is a medicine that can reverse opioid overdoses. It works on any opioids, including fentanyl, heroin, oxy, vicodin, etc. It isn't effective in reversing other kinds of drug overdoses, but would still work to reduce an overdose if your coke has fent in it, for example. It functions by blocking the opioid receptors in your brain and helps restore breathing. Narcan is not a dangerous medication, and it is not harmful to your brain, which means you can be dosed multiple times without increasing harm to your body. The experience of being Narcaned can be pretty fucking shitty, because it basically puts your body in withdrawal super super fast, and you might experience some of the effects of withdrawal like vomiting, body aches and chills, fatigue, etc. But there are not other harmful side effects outside of that. Narcan is safe to give to people of all ages, including children.

Narcan comes in both an nasal spray and intramuscular injections, but it's usually easier to get access to nasal spray. This is what Narcan looks like:

[ID: Someone holding a narcan nasal spray, which has a nozzle that can be placed into someone's nose, and a plunger underneath the nozzle that can be pushed up to administer a dose. Text on the image says: Do not test nasal spray device before use. Each device contains 1 dose of medicine. Each device sprays one time only.]

How to Use Narcan

Identify signs of Overdose

Check for Responsiveness

Administer Narcan

Support (other friends/911/medics)

To administer Narcan, you first need to identify if someone is overdosing. Signs of an opioid overdose can be when someone is unconscious, unresponsive, not breathing or slowly breathing, no pulse or erratic pulse, has pinpoint pupils, and/or has blue lips.

If you see some of these things and think that someone is overdosing, the next step is to check for responsiveness. You can do this by loudly calling the person's name, saying that you are going to Narcan them, gently shaking them, and by performing a sternum rub, which is where you rub your knuckles into the place in someone's chest where their ribs meet. If they're breathing and they respond, even if it's just making noises in response to you or physically pushing your hands away, that can be a sign that you don't need to administer Narcan right away. Still, in that case, it's a really good idea to stay with that person in case that changes. If, and only if, the person is completely unresponsive, you should administer Narcan.

Once you've determined that someone is unresponsive and overdosing, the next step is actually administering Narcan. Narcan comes in packs of two nasal sprays. Take the first nasal spray out of the box, put the nozzle in the person's nose, and press the plunger. If the person is still not responsive after 2-3 minutes, take the other nasal spray out of the box and give them another dose. I try to use the lowest number of doses possible to try to reduce the withdrawal experience, and I stop giving Narcan once someone is breathing and responsive. If they still are not responsive or breathing, and you know how to give rescue breaths, you can start administering rescue breaths. If you have to step away for any reason, turn the person on their side in the recovery position first.

After someone's overdose is reversed, it's really important that whenever possible, someone stays with them for at least an hour afterwards. Narcan is active in the body for about 30-90 minutes, so depending on what someone's original amount of opioids was, they might start overdosing again and need you to give them Narcan again. This is also why it can be important to try not to use again right away, which is really fucking shitty when you're trying to use cause you don't want to be sick, but unfortunately using right away can also put you at risk of overdosing again. When people come back after getting Narcaned, it can be a pretty disorienting and uncomfortable experience. You might not know who Narcaned you or why they're in your space, might be feeling really fucking shitty because of withdrawal, and might want to be left alone. If you've just Narcaned someone, introduce yourself and explain that you just gave them Narcan, listen to what they tell you, empathize with their feelings, respect people's boundaries, and give them space if they ask for it. Understand that they're probably feeling pretty fucking shitty in their body, that it fucking sucks when your high gets ruined, and they (justifiably) might not feel happy about the fact that you Narcaned them.

Pretty much all Narcan trainings will tell you that it's "recommended" to always call 911, but we all know that this is not always actually possible in a lot of situations and that cops always fucking make the situation worse. My policy is that I always, always ask for consent before calling 911 and if someone says no, then we brainstorm other ways of keeping safe and we don't fucking call the cops. If there's a situation where I do need to call 911, I never tell the operator that someone overdosed, because that usually gets them to send out the cops alongside ambulance, which can cause delays to care, put a lot of people at risk, and also put people, including bystanders, in legal danger. If I have to call 911, I say that my friend has collapsed/fainted/isn't breathing and keep it more vague, and when paramedics actually arrive on the scene, that's when I tell them more information about the overdose, what drugs someone took, and how many times I've administered Narcan.

You can get free Narcan a lot of places. Next Distro has resources for getting free Narcan by mail for almost every state. If there's harm reduction orgs in your area, they will have free Narcan. There's also a lot of Department of Health programs for free Narcan. Most pharmacies now also have Narcan available over the counter, but that's usually really fucking expensive and often pretty hard to shoplift cause they keep locking it up.

Even if you don't use drugs and you think that your loved ones don't use drugs, it's super important to have Narcan as a part of your first aid kit and learn how to use it. You never know when you're going to need to use it, and it's super good to be prepared ahead of time, in case your friend/family/neighbor/classmate/coworker ends up overdosing while you're there. Or in case you end up overdosing and having Narcan on you means that bystanders can help support you through it.

Here's a guide that goes a little more in depth into how to use Narcan.

Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions about Narcan or other harm reduction topics!

[terrestrialnoob]

Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.

Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.

Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.

Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-

"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."

"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.

"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"

"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."

"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."

Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."

Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."

"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."

"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.

"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"

Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."

"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"

Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."

She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."

The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.

"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."

"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."

"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.

Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."

"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."

Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"

Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"

"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."

Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"

Now featuring a Part 2