#how tf is tolkien age working?

[nihilizzzm]

So let’s talk for a moment about something I was discussing yesterday with my sister only to wake up today and be like “it’s so fuckin obvious why did we miss it?”, but also I think people tend to forget about it, idk.

So we were talking how Faramir is not giving 36 year old man vibes. He just seems younger, more emotionally invested in a way a 20 something year old would be. And then we checked how old are Éomer and Éowyn, because Éomer is in our mind somewhere near Faramir’s age and Éowyn is slightly younger.

So Éomer is 28 and Éowyn is 24.

And Faramir is 36.

And just to throw it in there, because it is important I swear, Boromir is 41 and Théodred is also 41.

And we also only then started talking how Boromir also seems younger than 41, like not much, but somewhere around 35?? Idk, he just has this adult spice to himself but with a hint of lost youthfulness.

And I only now remembered that those Gondor bitches are of the blood of Numenor. Not like Aragorn type of where we all know it’s crazy difference, but they still are.

So it’s now absolutely right to have Faramie vibe with Éomer and Éowyn and for those three to seem like being similar age.

And this also brings me to topic of Boromir/Théodred, one of my fav ships from lotr. Because they are technically the same age, but the line of Húrin is aging slightly differently. So I would risk saying here that Boromir would be slightly more, idk, childish? Less experienced emotionally and less mature? But still a grown man, if we are talking about their potential meeting in their twenties for example.

Idk, the concept of age with lotr is weird to discuss, because shit feels weird sometimes but then u remember none of those characters age as a normal human except the Rohirrim.

So i am deciding to just go with the vibe the character is giving me when it comes to writing.

And just to throw our 87 year old king here, he is in my mind somewhere around 38 to 41 if converted to normal person.

It’s an open discussion I would love to hear from someone who knows tolkien shit better than I do, because those are just some chaotic thoughts

[thelordofgifs]

hi! while I hate to enable procrastination, I am... kinda doing the same thing and would love to read a dissection of the stabbing scene 👀

also for @that-angry-noldo, @aurorafaann and an anon!! Ty all for indulging me hehe <3 (and sending procrastination solidarity!)

Ok SO. Preface that I figured out the stabbing would occur only after writing part 12 - hence why part 13 foreshadows it very heavily and parts 11-12 more lightly. This is also why I feverishly wrote and published parts 13 and 14 very close together; I was gripped. consumed. I had a VISION. For this reason, the stabbing scene is not actually my best work ever. But! I did put a good amount of thought into it and, a week+ later, I think it holds up.

(This is also a good point to say that I genuinely did not intend to write a really mean cliffhanger and then not update the fic for ages. And I am sorry about that. Frankly, the stabbing felt like an excellent twist and I was worried about how to move the fic on from there without somehow destroying the emotional arc of the last few parts, but I've managed to work it out in the past couple of days which is cause for celebration!)

Anyway, we start out the stabbing scene with Maglor, who has not been having a very fun time lately, just glad to see his big brother again - uncomplicated gladness, for an instant at the end of part 13, but now he slips into his normal mode of feeling Guilty and Inadequate and starts to apologise to Maedhros for losing the Silmaril. But Maedhros is deep in the whole delusional episode situation and reacts oddly to Maglor's apology - which Maglor notices pretty much immediately:

Maglor has made Maedhros his chief study for many years.

He looks at him, now, and understands.

Subtext: Curufin is an Idiot who does not notice thingss but Maglor is a very good brother and we love him <3

Then there is the quiet refrain of Maglor's Rules For Dealing With Maedhros In A State: he is very careful with him, trying not to startle him or contradict him, making sure not to touch him. He is doing everything right! It's just that Maedhros has been spiralling so badly that that isn't enough.

Sidenote, but: I love writing Maedhros and Maglor interactions. I am in the silm fandom to write Maedhros and Maglor interactions. They are my bread and butter. This is the first time the two of them have met since Part 3, the first time they've had a proper conversation since Part 1 (!!), and so in addition to having obvious plot significance I really wanted this scene to depict some of the essential elements of their dynamic as I see it. So: Maglor's guilt, a dollop of mutual caretaking, all that endless complicated love, and! a thing I like to do! Mirrored dialogue!!

OKAY now I get to talk about the dialogue in this scene, which is my favourite part of it.

The boys' last conversation in the silm is one of my favourite pieces of dialogue, like, ever. It has so much tragic weight behind it; and the way their lines build off each other, reflect each other, is just perfection. Maedhros: "Who shall release us?" Maglor: "If none can release us..." To me this sets them up as foils for each other SO perfectly. When I write them I try to incorporate a little of this dynamic - they are both good with words, they like to debate with each other, and they often good-naturedly turn the other's words back on them.

I couldn't do this overtly in the stabbing scene because, frankly, I was in a possessed haze and wasn't thinking that deeply about it. But it did come through a little: "No doubt it amuses you," Maedhros says, and Maglor responds with, "Nothing that hurt you could ever amuse me." (Also, more subtly: "If none of it was real at all--" -> "It was real, Nelyo, I promise.")

More intentionally, Maedhros and Maglor are using very different registers of speech in this scene. Generally in tfs I don't make too much effort to make dialogue sound Tolkien-esque, as I do in my other fic; part of the tfs style is rooted in informality, so that Fingon can make a veiled sex joke to Curufin, and Mablung can casually say "Sure is" in response to a question. Maglor is adhering to this "standard style", so to speak: he uses contractions liberally, splices his commas, and so on. Maedhros, on the other hand, is speaking very formally: no contractions, a slightly more archaic way of constructing sentences: "If he lives" vs the more modern "if he's alive". This is deliberate! They're speaking Quenya in this scene, the language of their childhood, but while Maglor is using casual, familiar tones, Maedhros has reverted to very formal, classical Quenya - the sort that's one step removed from being a language solely of lore. This is what Maedhros spoke in Angband (Sauron is a language enthusiast, after all!) - a conscious effort to demarcate himself the High King of the Noldor, and the son of the world's best linguist. But because he's in such a bad place he is also swinging between registers, dropping in contractions on occasion, stumbling over and repeating his words as he grows more overcome.

I do humbly think Maedhros went OFF with dialogue here actually. "You have overstretched your hand, Sauron. He cannot be both dead and alive. You will have to pick one." and “Well, then, which is it? If he is dead then you are only a wraith wearing his shape. If he lives – and – and none of it was real at all—” and "I do not, I do not want this anymore. It was – it was not so terrible, when I could still pretend – but now – you are only taunting me now, doing this. Let it end." HE'S SO UPSET

Another thing that's impossible to get through in English is the use of formal vs informal second person: unfortunately in modern English, "thou/thee" sounds hopelessly archaic, so I couldn't have Maglor use it without breaking the casual and familiar vibe I was going for with his dialogue. But, in my head, he is thou-ing and thee-ing the whole time, whereas Maedhros is using the crushingly formal "you" instead. A little of this came across, hopefully, through Maglor's repeated use of Maedhros' childhood nickname: he calls him Nelyo in pretty much every sentence he speaks, whereas Maedhros, importantly, does not address Maglor by name even once.

Okay I just spent five paragraphs talking solely about dialogue WHY are you people indulging me like this. Moving on. In terms of actual plot... well, I think how well the scene works depends on how overt you found the foreshadowing in earlier parts. Did anyone predict that Maedhros would attack Maglor? If so, I imagine a lot of the mounting tension in the scene is kind of pointless. If not... the fact that Something Is Wrong is hopefully obvious from the start; the reader knows, unlike Maglor, that Maedhros has been having a terrible time of it. By the time Maglor has failed a couple of times to make any headway in convincing Maedhros, I was intending you to grow steadily more stressed. And

(It's worth noting that, with the exception of the twins, Maglor and Curufin are the two sons of Fëanor who most resemble each other: they have the same colouring, and they're both slighter than their brothers, with the same long skilful fingers.)

(It is not implausible that a shape-shifter, tired of impersonating Curufin, might switch to Maglor's form without too much difficulty.)

This small break from the close, limited Maglor POV that most of the scene is in, to give a quick glimpse of what's going on in Maedhros' head, was intended to Freak The Reader Out. Maedhros has literally just planned to kill the thing impersonating Curufin in Part 13 - if he is now starting to suspect that it's here with him, that killing it is the key to breaking the illusion, shit is getting serious.

Maglor gets out of bed. MAGLOR WHY ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF BED. He is almost afraid of Maedhros. MAGLOR BE MORE AFRAID OF MAEDHROS.

Maedhros says, "It was – it was not so terrible, when I could still pretend – but now – you are only taunting me now, doing this. Let it end." He has spent some time debating whether or not he prefers the illusion to the reality of his captivity - and he wasn't sure - but now that Sauron is mocking him with the image of his dead brother, he has decided enough is enough.

Maglor's bad leg gives out. Before he can fall Maedhros catches him, putting his right arm around Maglor's waist.

This is partially cute. Maedhros still has his big brother instincts, even like this! He isn't going to let Maglor fall!

But alarm bells were intended to be Extremely Ringing here. Maedhros puts his right arm around Maglor. His left hand is still free. His left hand is still free–

And Maglor, who is still just absolutely not realising how much danger he is in, responds to this extremely worrying statement by saying, "Thank you, Nelyo," - was he not LISTENING?? Maglor!!!!

Then, of course, Maedhros stabs Maglor, Maglor's instinctive response is to comfort him (do I need to get back on the "Maglor is an excellent brother" soapbox or can we take that as given), he sings him a lullaby - callbacks to Part 1 and the Carcharoth encounter, Maglor has sacrificed himself for Maedhros more than once in this fic - before just sitting down to die. That was a clear image in my head for a while: Maglor sitting in a pool of blood, singing quietly, Maedhros' head in his lap and the Silmaril in his hand, and then the orc-horns sounding outside for extra cliffhangeriness. In fact this is probably my single favourite image of the fic. I just love them ok.

This is SO LONG and so procrastinatey but also an extremely fun exercise actually!! I am now fired up to go and work on part 15.

[luna-writes-stuff]

hey! have you hate watched rings of power yet? if so what are your thoughts ? - 💙

ooohhh you’re asking dangerous questions now and I’m gonna get a lot of hate but whatever

i think this show would’ve been great if it wasn’t from Tolkien’s works. Because they created an entire story that has nothing to do with the original Tolkien works, save for like 10 percent. I think this show would’ve done very well had it not been inspired from his books.

Because, this whole show has absolutely nothing to do with the entire creation of the rings, this is not how it went, this is not how the characters were etc. etc. Of course, shows aren’t going to be 100% accurate, for the sake of cinematography and drawing new fans (see the Peter Jackson films), but this is a whole new definition of ‘drawing new fans’. The series is shit, the characters look like shit, who tf is meteor man, wdym they want to shorten the second age so humans won’t die every season, durin is actually a family line, #notmyfinrod, #giveussexyfinrod, #finroddidnotsacrificehislifetosaveberenandhelpcreateoneofthemostimportantlovestoriesofmiddleearthimeanhelljrrtolkienandedithwereburiedunderberenandluthienbutnooooocuzwhotfcaresaboutthemanymore, where is sexy sauron, where arE THE BEARDS, “high lords only” suck my ass, warrior Galadriel pls no just don’t, where tf is celeborn, what the actUAL FUCK IS CELEBRIMBOR, WHEN WILL WE SEE SAURON TF LITERALLY THE WHOLE STORY REVOLVES AROUND HIM AND HIS MANIPULATIVE ASS

and it throws away all the stories tolkien wrote and shared with the world. Were you going to make a show about this period, at least get the rights to the right books, such as the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales. If you cannot get them, don’t create a series nonetheless, because it is going to flop. Hard. Everything I’ve seen this far just hurts to watch, let alone realise that this is the thing that will draw new generations into the ‘Tolkien-verse’. It’s horrible. Throw the whole series away. Burn down Amazon. Fuck Jeff Bezos. Not my Tolkien.

As I said, I genuinely believe it would’ve done great had it not been inspired from Tolkien, I truly believe that. But with what they had to work with, and what they created? Get fucked.

[sweetearthandnorthernsky]

u reblogged a post about how all you need is one ask to make u go off about your beloved OCs sooooo... tell me about them :3

*vibrating at the speed of light from excitement*

 i've been thinking about Them recently a lot too, esp with artfight going on! this is going under a cut because it WILL be super long and that is a THREAT

surprisingly these all ended up being pre-canon hcs which were NICE because everything kinda just clicked into place

she + her siblings  are all named after Famous* Edain from the first age, and she feels a special sense of kinship to her sister andreth since they were both technically named after the same woman!

*famous is relative of course, since none of them are straight up named turin or beren etc., but all of them are named after edain that existed! and did things!

as a kid sae LOVES swans, and this earns her the nickname cygnet [i think the sindarin translation would be 'alpheg' but i'm not 100% on it]

she also loves swimming and being on her grandparent’s boat the Aduninzil [they’re shipbuilders, and the aduninzil is really more a sloop than anything, it’s p. small]

she isn’t happy about moving to minas tirith at the age of six, even if there are frequent visits to dol amroth anyway. but she adjusts to city life well enough. 

one day at the age of 8, she is involved in a pretty intense game of hide & seek on the fifth circle, and she ends up wandering into the complex that housed the halls of lore, bar vorn & bar menel -- an infinite array of hiding spaces!

she is mild mannered & quiet enough [for a newly turned 8 year old at least] that the scholars don’t necessarily mind her wandering around, as long as she doesn’t touch things without asking or break anything

she ends up spending most of the day there, enchanted by the knowledge that lay at her fingertips. 

when she leaves the houses, she’s greeted by upset-and-distraught-in-equal measure siblings (andreth, adanel & enerdhil) and is returned home to even more upset-and-distraught parents who were looking for her in the lower circles, tho they’re mostly just glad that she’s ok.

anyway! this mild detour to say; she definitely becomes a regular fixture at the houses of lore while she's still going through her own education, to the point where she's nicknamed 'golodheg' [thank you again isi!!] which means 'little sage/scholar'

[i don't think this will end up being canon for her but i think it would be freaking HILARIOUS if she ran into faramir returning books or smthn a handful of times [like no more than 4] and she's just *star-struck noises* and faramir is internally like "why tf is there a Child in here"]

during this time [from age 7-12], her father teaches her & her siblings how to use a sword, and she takes to it well enough upon realizing the footwork is almost like dancing

one day [at age 9], she finds a copy of the narn e-dinuviel [tale of the nightingale aka beren and luthien]. she's allowed to read it, and she spends a solid week working through the archaic wording with patience she'd never particularly had for anything else.

[luthien reminds her of her mom -- always dancing, warm and kind, with hidden strength -- and beren reminds her of her dad -- brave, undaunted and gentle -- though she never puts the pieces together until WELL after the fact]

when it comes time for her to make her first copy, there is no hesitation and she chooses b&l.

(in my own hc one of the major projects/milestones in a child's school life is copying a book of their own choice, which is a very long, structured process. and the finished product is referred to as a 'first copy'

by the time she is eleven, she has finished the first copy and chooses to move on to her second copy, which is the fall of gondolin & rise of the star [or ‘Narn e-Dant Gondolin ar Orthad en El’, according to tolkien gateway] in its more archaic [in human terms at least] sindarin instead of westron like b&l was

by the time she finishes the fall of gondolin, sauron’s shadow is getting really heavy, and her parents make the decision to send her + adanel to bree on the grounds that maeril [caladil’s [sae’s mom] sister] is expecting a Baby soon and will Need Help

and while that is technically true, the real reason is to keep sae & adanel safe

sae... in bree doesn’t outright do extremely poorly but she’s very concious of the fact that while the breefolk are nice & friendly, she & adanel & other gondorians are Outsiders to them

[i have a lil hc that w/ all the refugees coming up from the south, there ends up being a ‘little gondor’ section somewhere in bree]

and so sae copes with this by creating this Image of what a Perfect Gondorian should look like, and is constantly striving to meet this insanely lofty goal. and uh spoiler; she never quite does

she enlists in the breeland jrotc  junior militia as soon as she is able, along with working in the scholar’s stair to help archive things

eventually at 18, she ranks up to be a captain, and maeril’s oldest & her husband  are expecting a baby themselves now but sae REALLY wants to go home and the sooner the better

so she and adanel + her aunt & uncle compromise: sae knows enough to take care of herself so she could go ahead and get started down the greenway, and adanel would be behind her as quickly as possible

and then sae meets up with some brigands and uh :) we all know how things go from there

[morwensteelsheen]

☾ ☠♡♦☯ ☼ൠ for faramir :^)

thank u xxxxx sorry i was so slow on the draw, work is killing me lmao

☾ - sleep headcanon

I think as part of the turbo-Númenóreanness and Elvishness he inherited from his parents, he’s not someone who needs a huge amount of sleep, but is someone who has no problem playing up his lack of sleep for his own benefit—specifically when he wants to gtf out of somewhere. Is this me taking an insane reading of three lines in ROTK way too far? Yes! But also. So is everything i write lmao

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

He’s very much of the Extremely Extremely Angry for a very short period of time and then totally over it varietal. Depending on how cynically you read a few of his scenes, I think you get the sense pretty quickly that he feels his emotions pretty intensely, but that they quick boil rather than simmer. I also think in terms of fight vs flight, he’s instinctively a fighter, but has trained himself towards flight, eg. when he knows he’s super angry, he walks away from it to chill tf out, even though his gut instinct is to stay and duke it out.

♡ - romantic headcanon

He’s obviously a Big Gestures sort of guy, but I also think he takes it with a sense of humour; I think he takes to using his natural inclination for ~romantic drama~ to jokingly niggle at Éowyn for her comparative emotional quietude. like i think he gets a kick out of being very publicly effusive in his praise for her because for as much as she appreciates it, it also embarrasses her. he also does it whenever they’re in rohan/Éomer is in Gondor because it drives him nuts, but for very different reasons.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Okay so. I imagine this whole reading the hearts & minds of men shit as something that is both passive and active. Like I see it as both a booster to his passive perception, but also something he can tune more specifically. Anyways, I think he’s spent more time thinking about the instances when he can specifically tap into other peoples’ thoughts because, well, that’s definitely the stranger thing. But because he doesn’t think quite so much about the passive perception element, he doesn’t necessarily have the greatest grasp on what people are normally able to intuit about one another, and so is in the habit of making comments to/asking questions of people that are just A Bit too on the nose. that’s how he gets his reputation of being a bit Spookier™ than boromir lol

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Travelling theatre troupes become quite popular in the fourth age, which he is a big ol’ stick in the mud about. He thinks the bawdiness etc of the plays is a real moral problem for the kingdom, but still goes along because it’s a chance to hear music that’s different to what normally gets a showing in EA + MT. everyone else around him is quite into them—aragorn likes them because it reminds him of Bilbo + the other hobbits, for éowyn it’s a happier reminder of rohan, the kids (when they arrive) like it because it’s punchy, etc., so he’s outvoted anyways

☼ - appearance headcanon

Tolkien can suck my dick, Faramir had a beard. But also here’s some sloppy justification for it: I HC Númenórean culture as being broadly Minoan—early Gondor is sort of akin to an Ancient Greece/Byzantium bastard amalgamation. anyways. beards were a Thing in ancient greece, especially among philosophers etc, and there was a brief period in byzantine history where there was a throwback craze esp among the emperors, where beards were very trendy. anyways. faramir. beard. tolkien’s an aesthetic coward.

ൠ - random headcanon

he’s a dog person. i’m so sorry, i know we disagree on this but hear me out: my dude absolutely collects animals like preteens collected snap bands circa 2010. cats are not pack animals, but dogs are! and he’s perpetually got, like 2-5 around at all times. éowyn hates it, dogs are working animals to her and she can’t cope with the idea of letting them muck up her house, but Nevertheless He Persists lmao

[legolas-is-a-himbo]

4, 18, 39 for the lotr/hobbit asks!

thank you @rhovanian !!

from these asks.

4. Which movie from the Lord of the Rings is your favorite and why?

The Two Towers is my favorite, I love things that take place in the middle of the journey, this is when the action is building tf up, and the character development is ON POINT. The cinematography is beautiful, and I really like how we get to see so much of Middle Earth. Additionally, the entire Helm’s Deep scene is one of my favorite scenes from the whole trilogy. You get an epic fight, everybody’s first realization of what the stakes actually are, some good old-fashioned drama, and you get to see the development of the relationships between Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli (i love these dudes omfg) all in one. That said, RotK has the best music out of any of them, hands down (which leads right into the next question haha).

18. Favorite soundtrack out of the series?

Oooh boy. I could talk for ages about this (but I will spare you). The LotR / The Hobbit soundtrack gives my musician brain all the serotonin. I am IN LOVE with all the complexities of Howard Shore’s music, with his use of modes (the phrygian in the prologue/ main theme is especially wonderful) and key changes and how he works in the different leitmotifs and has them resurface throughout the trilogy... but I’m not here to go on a rant about music theory so I will get to the point and say the return of the king soundtrack is my absolute favorite. I LOVE it SO much. Every song, makes me want to fucking cry. The lighting of the beacons scene?? That music is IMPECCABLE. Also he has Sir James fucking Galway play on some of it and that is simply iconic. And The Fellowship Reunited is my favorite track out of all of them, it makes me sob my eyes out and I love it with my entire heart.

39. If you could say anything to the author, the characters, or the actors, what would it be?

Oh this is tough. There’s so much I want to say. First of all I would want to just thank Tolkien for his works and his writing and creating all of this. I’d also want to ask him more about his languages and for him to disclose more unpublished material on that (hell in my dreams I’d ask him to teach me his languages... or anything... to learn from him would be amazing). Also not included in the question but no matter, I’d want to have a very long conversation with Howard Shore and thank him as well and tell him how much his music has had an impact on me... and then ask him to please go on for a very long time about how he created the scores and anything and everything about the music theory of the lotr osts. AND OH MY GOD THE CHARACTERS— I want to be friends with Legolas, that would be so much fun. I’d like to think we’d get along. Also they all need hugs so I would give them their hugs. And I would tell Eowyn she’s a fucking badass (but I’m sure she knows it) and ask her to talk to me about whatever she wants to. I would also like one of them, I don’t really care who as long as they’re good at it and not evil, to teach me how to properly use a sword. Also I’d like to listen to Bilbo’s stories and poems, and speak Sindarin with the elves. On the actors, god I don’t even know, I would just love to meet them and ask them about what it was like making lotr/ the hobbit.

[plutos-darlings]

The Rings of Power is a garbage fire

Ok I know the plan was to let Rings of Power bomb.

But I had to watch at least the first episode. I fucking hated it, quit within 20 minutes.

But not even from a like, Tolkien-fan perspective. Yeah, I like Lord of the Rings but I never read The Silmarillion, and don't really care about the lore or how characters "should" look.

Nah, this show sucks from a writing perspective. I have completely removed this show from the "Tolkien-verse" and am seeing it as its own thing, since I don't know much of the source material anyway.

Spoilers (maybe?) under the cut. Idk if it counts as spoilers since i didn't even finish the first episodes. But it's every thought I had while watching the first few minutes of episode 1

My observations of this show will be ordered chronologically, not in order of importance.

Ok. Galadriel says "the world was so young there had not yet been a sunrise." but the show is in the second age. When is the second age? When is the first age? I don't know this shit. I barely have a good sense of time in the Peter Jackson movies. I'd like at least some sense of time, please.

Why the fuck are the other elven children such assholes. like yeah they're kids but they're also. Elves.

Is talking about the world not yet having a sunrise like. Not? Relevant to the current thing on screen? I'm so confused.

Child actors. They're so wooden and very obviously doing the literal thing they were told to do.

Do you, or do you not want to see the boat float, child? Like. He seems impatient for Galadriel to finish it, but then tries to sink it with rocks. Build your own boat, asshole.

Why did the other kids join in with the boat smashing, seemingly with no direction? This goes back to "children do thing they were told to do in a very wooden way"

That's not how rocks work. I understand that this is a metaphor for good and evil, or optimists vs pessimists or whatever but that's a shit metaphor. Water isn't evil.

There is no reason for Nim- I mean Finrod to whisper to his sister except to hide this from the audience. No one else is around to hear them

That's a nice cgi city. You gonna tell me where it is? Gonna tell me what those trees are? Why I should care? No? Ok.

Who tf is Morgoth? How did he destroy your trees? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO MIDDLE EARTH IF HE DESTROYED YOUR TREES IN VALINOR

Where the fuck did all these orcs and flying things come from? WHY did Morgoth burn the trees? Look I know this is a lot of material to adapt but holy FUCK i have no idea what's going on. Yes there's a massive battle in the beginning of Lord of the Rings but we are also told then WHY Sauron is trying to take over, and HOW. Again, RoP has NO SENSE OF TIME.

"We had many words for death" no. You had one. And that word is "Death."

Nice visual bro but why tf are all those helmets AND ONLY THE HELMETS just. In a pile.

Ok so Morgoth was defeated. Do we...not get to see it?

"But Sauron found [my brother] first" DO WE NOT GET TO SEE IT?

"And marked his flesh with a symbol" that looks like a scratch. How... do you know that it's a symbol? (By the way this is less than 10 minutes in.)

"One whose meaning even our wisest could not discern" OK?! Maybe it's just like. Sauron's name? Or a calling card? Imagine of Aragorn was like "I cannot discern the meaning of this white hand all these orcs bear" when it's just because they come from Saruman.

"And there, in the darkness..." This could be metaphorical but that's a pretty damn well-lit room.

"Year gave way to year. Century gave way to Century" So. How long? I STILL HAVE NO SENSE OF TIME.

Ok we FINALLY get a location card, and it's "Forodwaith: The northernmost waste" but since we have had no other location cards and one (1) map transition, I have no clue where this is in relation to anything else without finding a map myself. I don't even know if this is still in Middle Earth.

Why are you using your dead brother's dagger as an ice pick.

Browny McBrunette is the only one with speaking lines thus far. Why. Why is he special. I'm sure he's very important in the source material but Thondir (whose name I only know by looking at the X-Ray sidebar because they never tell you) seems to be super whiny and kind of treasonous.

Why is McBrunette saying NOW, AFTER CLIMBING A GIANT FROZEN WATERFALL, saying that he's giving up? Does everyone else agree with that? I don't know if they do, no one else has had a speaking role yet.

I know this is just restating the last point, but couldn't these guys have reassessed their plans and motivations BEFORE CLIMBING AN ICE WALL?!

"How long can living flesh endure where even sunlight fears to tread?" You mean night? People survive night time like, all the time? If you mean it's cold, that's really dumb to link it to sunlight because YOU'RE IN THE SUN RIGHT NOW

"Perhaps we would be wise to camp here and tomorrow begin the journey home" First of all, Galadriel ignores this advice and doesn't make camp, because "We're losing the light." I. Yeah. Yeah, Galadriel, that's why you should stop and make a fire. Even if you don't plan on going home, making camp still seems like a smart move. And don't tell me they're on a time crunch suddenly because this has taken CENTURIES. Second of all, Thondir, WHY WOULD YOU NOT MAKE CAMP BEFORE CLIMBING THE ICE WALL IF YOU PLANNED ON TURNING BACK.

This is such a dumb nitpick but why do you have metal on your bare skin in freezing weather?

Galadriel is a dick

Mystic fortress shows up in the lightning strikes and, BY THE WAY, we have no idea what this is, because the map wasn't legible when we saw it, no one has explained what it is, where it is, why Galadriel needs to find it so bad, or what she thinks will be inside. (Also does lightning normally happen is a blizzard? I don't think it does. but whatever, cool shot i guess.)

Also how the fuck does Galadriel know where she's going.

Galadriel says this is where the orcs went after Morgoth's defeat, and many more must have escaped than they thought. How do you know? There's no one here now.

"This place is so evil our torches give off no warmth" I-HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! HOW IS THAT A THING? WHY DID SIDE ELF #7 TEST THAT BY SHOVING HIS HAND IN THE FIRE?

"How can you be certain?" "It's colder than the rest." ooooooohhhh...the fuck? I'm pretty sure fire still works in the cold.

Also, why does evil cancel out fire's warmth and not like. The actual fire? WHY does evil cancel out fire's warmth in the first place? Can fire not be used for evil? Do orcs not need to stay warm? (I am 12 minutes into this mess of a show, by the way.)

WHY DID YOU PUNCH THE ICE

HOW DID YOU PUNCH THE ICE WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO BREAK THROUGH IT?

Not only did Galadriel waste water bu dumping it on an anvil, HOW IS IT NOT FROZEN IF ITS SO COLD THE TORCHES DON'T WORK?!

If Sauron's mark is so warm that water sizzles IN A PLACE. WHERE TORCHES. DON'T WORK! then why does frost form around it?

"This mark was left as a trail for orcs to follow" HOW THE MOTHER FUCKING SPACEBALLS DO YOU KNOW THAT? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE MARK FUCKING MEANS OH MY GOD

"This mark is centuries old" I. Listen. I would not be as offended or confused if things weren't said with such certainty. The line could have been "this mark could be centuries old."

McBrunette THEN goes on to say "They could be long dead" MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE CENTURIES OLD AND BARELY A YOUNG ADULT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN LONG DEAD?!

But then Galadriel goes on to counter Thondir and say that maybe Sauron is hiding in wait, gathering strength and...yeah i guess. maybe he is but why are you staking this centuries long excursion on a maybe?

A snow troll shows up and like. How is it not starved to death? Unless you're telling me that people have been here more recently than Galadriel?

Multiple elves get their shit rocked and Galadriel can kill this thing by herself? Lol ok

These dudes literally are saying "no we WON'T leave here in the morning!" like. Why are you mutinying now. Why are you suddenly like. Super relaxed and dropping your swords. There could be other monsters here. And also what good does it do you to refuse to follow Galadriel NOW when you still have to all sleep together.

(This is as far as I had gotten before so everything from here on out is a fresh opinion)

Oh, NOW we know where stuff is, fucking christ

I changed my mind. This isn't better. I have no idea where these Harfoots are in relation to each other.

A Harfoot apparently has the same name as one of the Dwarves in The Hobbit (Nori) cause that isn't confusing

Why are these guys worried about some dudes out in a field seeing them when they are clearly in the middle of a forest?

Oh yeah ok, travelers ate a certain time of year are "weird"

still no good establishing shot or any idea where anything is

you had a berry field this close to your house and never saw it?

Nori is kinda cute tho

That's not a dog paw tf

Or a wolf paw, the fuck?

yeah that's not a fucking wolf fuck you

WHY DID YOU NOT TRANSLATE THAT SPECIFIC ELVISH

"Why didn't you say so?" she just fucking did. AAAAnd we're back to not letting anyone know where the shit is

Also why is Galadriel Elrond's "friend"? isn't she his grandma mother-in-law or something? Also WHAT IS TIME? HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE THE ICE CAVE?

Oh ok her name is Eleanor.

I'm much less confused by the Harfoots honestly. But probably because they're like. Relatively simple people.

"Your brother would be proud" feels...weird. Because idk what he would be proud of. Not finding Sauron? Being forced to come back home after defying the High King?

Elrond is the only one with any damn sense here

Elrond is a real one tbh

Ok that was a decent comparative shot of the map. Thank you.

Honestly, not a bad introduction for Arondir

Why the fuck are their healers called artificers. An Artificer is a craftsman, or an inventor.

"And you smell of rotten leaves" ok that got a chuckle out of me.

credit where credit is due, practical sets and costumes do look nice, besides the stuff the elves were wearing in the ice cave thing

Oh, Simon Merrells has a nice accent there

So thus far, it looks like the better parts of the show are parts that...don't seem to actually come from Tolkein's works. Like, characters that are new to the show and can do their own thing are doing better than canon characters we've seen before.

I haven't seen a character so doomed to die in a long time. Arondir, what the fuck are you doing.

"I'm going with you" the fuck you are, Bronwyn. You have a child. You're a healer. Sit the fuck down

This kid, Rowan, who again, I learned his name through X-ray, is a dick, but like. I get why? I'm telling you, the characters that aren't from tolkein are 20x better than ones that are.

Pfft ok i don't like elves with short hair not for lore reasons but because they all look like they should be friends with my Nana

OK, why did McBrunette feel the need to take Galadriel's hand. They're all on the same damn boat. ALSO how tf is she gonna get back to Middle Earth without a ship

And they say once you go to Valinor you can't come back but. Didn't elves come from Valinor in the beginning? what was different then?

Was that a human? In the meteorite? Or was it like, whatever Gandalf was?

Ok that concludes my thoughts on Rings of Power episode 1. I don't know if i will watch the rest. I was doing some research and Amazon has 5 SEASONS of this shit greenlit so. idk what this is gonna look like.