#it’s me i said something
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the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
#anyway it’s still a couple years away#but man im so fucking excited for my 30s!!!!!!!!!#i made it!!!#i survived!!!#so many people never got the opportunity to be 30#im gonna enjoy every fucking second of it!#sulley speaks#sorry my coworker said something really rude to me lol#it struck a nerve
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watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back
#bridgerton#lauren says things#i know the calling hour is for romantic prospects#(at least in bridgerton)#but there IS something to be said for having social rules! I like it to an extent!#no I don't have a panic disorder rooted in social anxiety why are you asking me that#and tbf one CAN just do this!#but working out social contracts with friends is hard and scary lol
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled "immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]
a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”
#dinosaur#evolution#comic#prehistoric#animal#wildlife#paleontology#biology#poetry#comics#original#my art#archaeopteryx has no direct living descendants i know#but i wanted something aerial and the dinosaur to bird connection is classic and well known anyway#also the chicken over any other bird is very on purpose#its the mix of truth and comedy and genuineness and the fantastic in the mundane#its me asking you to see something so wonderful in something taken so un-seriously#and to love it both ways#also the jurassic park thing#where someone saw the reconstructed gait of a dino#and said. hey hang on. i know that walk.#and pulled up footage of a chicken walking#which jumpstarted the entire study into the link between dinosaurs and birds#in the end take whatever you want from it i just thought id provide some insight#i always like it when other artists do#the point is that i enjoy when people laugh at the end and when they dont#and i like it when they cry. i like it best when they both laugh and cry. eeaao intent#anyway mourn your losses but to live is to change#also hi guys i finally figured out tipping after 5 months so no more annoying ko-fi link#the antidote to despair is awe
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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at the friday panel andrew wincott said raphael and astarion should go on holiday together and i can’t stop thinking about it
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#raphael#the bitchiest old men at the resort#i feel like they’d be at eachother’s throats until something inconveniences them BOTH#like it’s devil and vampling until the wine is lukewarm and then it’s maximum pettiness#also the person who asked the question that prompted it told me that at the meet and greet he said they’d go to spain#edit tumblr washed out my colours so bad what the fuck
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Apparently, my decision to be silly and make fanart of someone's writing (because I genuinely enjoy the story the person is writing and I was struck with inspiration upon reading a particular scene) has benevolent and wildly unforeseen consequences.
I apparently gained a bit of control of the canon because said writer really loved the art and decided what I drew/draw is canon.
2. Writer put said artwork into the document of his story right below the scene, so now it's IN the story where people who read the story will see it (with a link to me)
3. He sent the artwork to all his friends and people he knows because he was so excited
Wholesome interaction and I watched him do all that in real time, good stuff. However...there are two more consequences I was notified of today...nearly a full week after I gave the artwork.
Seeing the artwork caused his friends to become interested in reading and hearing about his story, which means more people are reading what he's writing and giving him critique on the story (which he actively asks for).
Apparently, upon seeing the art, his writer friends got a sudden second wind to pick back up writing they'd abandoned for a few months. Because, I quote, "seeing that someone enjoyed {his} writing enough to take the time to make art of it gave them the motivation that maybe THEY can write something that will inspire someone to also create something." I have accidentally caused a writing frenzy among his writer friends and my silly idea to make art for someone has had a butterfly effect for people who I don't even know.
Uhh...I'm pretty sure there's a moral here but I am tired and have a great deal of emotions about this.
#shay speaks#crying and screaming#I was not intending this! I just wanted to be nice to someone and show my appreciation for their work!#make someone's day by giving them a personalized gift#maybe make them cry a bit in joy or something (because he said he would if I went through with making art for him and he knew my goals)#This is the silliest thing to happen from me making art and idk what to do with this information#positivity
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I love Michael Afton's story in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#william afton#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf 4#undertale#shout out to that one undertale line that destroys us all#call me corny call me simple BUT#I genuinely love Michael’s story in fnaf#and I’ll stand by it forever#Michael’s story is told to use indirectly so we have to infer a lot#and I do think that’s cool#just based off actions a few words spoken written and said#through mini games etc#you learn so much about him his whole life#Michael did not start in a hopeful place#he’s William Afton’s son his life was always gonna be torture#but there’s something almost beautiful#after he’s scooped after he literally cuts the poison out and he realizes his father is awful#he’s renewed he grows back he keeps going#he refused to die just to get rid of his father#I know people sees Michael story as tragic but there’s such hope in it#Michael kept going
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unexpected rain
#genshin impact#genshin fanart#kaedahara kazuha#kaedahara kazuha’s friend#kazuha fanart#digital art#illustration#art#been knocking like 60 ideas around with these two in my brain for MONTHS and everytime i get a little closer to what i picture#when i said expect more bc i had more ideas i mean like every two months you’ll get something vaguely different than the last piece from me
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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learning to love
#they make me so fucking unwell i feel so ill whenever i think about them#it's OVER for me i'm done#teen skk is going on my fucking suicide note thanks for everything asagiri#something something your bloodied hand in mind something something by you i am forever undone#something something to the world we may be villains but to each other we're two halves of the same soul#head in my fucking hands#sry for getting all emo i rewatched pmmm yesterday and i've been feeling existential about everything#i actually listened to the pmmm ost while drawing it saved me i love you yuki kajiura😍 (i died)#nothing like a haunting latin chorus echoing through my empty head while i draw tragic yaoi 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#big shoutout to sis puella magica i had that one on loop for like two hours‼️#anyway enough about the doomed yuri anime back to skk#forget everything i said i actually hope they explode i'm sick of their asses#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#posting at ungodly hours again this is gonna catch up to me 💔#lotus draws
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pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:
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#percy and annabeth mighttttt be switched but grover as gaslight is undeniable#grover lying through his teeth captivated me I was like sweetie WHAT are you doing#annabeth said either help me or leave to a GOD amongst other things which is why she deserves girlboss#percy gatekeeps everyone (but himself) from sacrificing themselves which is as always true to character#pjo tv show#pjo#pjo tv spoilers#pjo tv#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#character alignment#a god buys us cheeseburgers#like no one has posted content yet so I’m making something and going to bed#mine#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#humor#no one bully me on the image sizes I’m on my phone at midnight using photoshop without an account#which means I can only layer one photo at a time so each time I have to make it a new photo#I’m bullying myself don’t worry
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
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#10 second untagged shitposts will get 100k but the moment im pround of something no one gives a shit!! i dont suck that much at it!!#and i hate pointing it out because im not entitled to notes no one owes me anything#but man it sucks the life out of me every single time#i admit the last one i posted is kinda niche and messy but this happens with my better fanarts made of popular media too#my one drawing to get above 100 notes is a little kark@t doodle#for a while i refused to draw because i wanted aknowledgement for it. dont be like me kids. draw for the drawer#and also draw for your roommate whose eyes nearly pop out of their skull over the mildest body horror#augh i was so pround of the body horror one too but i had to delete that from here due to the 5 whole notes it got#my french teacher said it looked cool though so whose winning
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i wrote an interactive poem for my girlfriend in 3 parts. she said you need to read it.
go here: take only the final quiz or take all 3. i don't mind. it's sad, though. this is a poem about choice. about fate and mental illness and how love fits inside of all of it. this is a poem about a long dark hallway. mostly this is a poem about mango sushi rolls.
good luck. i love you. despite it all, i'm hopeful.
#uqiz#she said i need to put it up here lmafo#something something feel free to send me 5 dollars towards my next sushi roll run#poetry#experimental poetry#there's no specific like warning on this except that im not doing well n therefore it LEAKS into my writing lol#the realllll shit as an author is like ohhhh fuck i write so much better when im mentally unwell lol#:( why cant i be sane AND rational. why does my creativity gotta stem from suffering.#(bc when im not suffering im outside saying YIPPEE and kicking my heels lol)#IF YOU SAW THIS BEFORE I CLICKED THE RIGHT LINK NO YOU DIDNT#hey btw if you're experiencing an error idk what's up with that bc it still loads on my end.#i'll look into solutions but sorry :(#hi friends: i have no idea why sometimes the links break for random people.#it might be a chrome/firefox/etc thing but i will say that the links still work on my end AND i still have people taking each quiz.#so i know it works .... i have no idea what the exact solution is - maybe reload it if urs isn't working?#sorry im not good at coding :(
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