#how tf does his skateboard work I have no idea

[mikeystrawberry]

The Hottiez 🔥

[inconsideratekidney]

9/11/24

oop. that title is a date. i don't hold any strong opinions towards that, but also won't try to say anything that would be appropriate just cause it's a certain date. whatever. idk what to say. ok um moving on.

walking home thoughts:

my hair is definitely hairing the way i want it to. i like the length more than a longer or shorter length, but it is also what is considered the awkward length. i only really hate it when it hasn't been washed in a bit, which is often, but today i was happy with it.

what is up with mongo pushing? like just use your front foot. why are you making yourself do more work and look goofy (but not in the right way) doing so?

while i say that i am also holding my fist firmly in the air, upset and regretful that i left my skateboard at home

i really love the way the algae over the pond looks and it definitely makes me feel really excited and warm inside. idk why.

also i hate the walk home. i wish i had my skateboard because why does it take so long. i used to walk so fast like 4 years ago and i've just slowed down for some reason since 3 years ago. wtf.

everyone needs a freakin dpiel in their life. i thought this a couple days ago, but thought about it again today on my walk home. he has such good music taste and makes me listen to artists i wouldn't have thought of on my own and would be like "eh" before, but since he played it in front of me i was like "oh, i'm a dumbass. i have been missing out on some fantastic music" this includes childish gambino, tame impala, and steve lacey, but there are so many songs that he plays that i also love from varying different artists. i also silently add these songs to my library, but i think they're really cool. shoutout to dpiel. striptease, kilby girl, dang!, hey lover, and les were all songs from one drive that i downloaded i believe. keep doing ur thing, man, love to see it.

related, but not from my walking home thoughts, from my now thoughts, i am currently loving music i hear from gabriel like a lot, and starting to like music from miles and obviously dpiel. i've been heavily into arctic monkeys, glass animals, childish gambino, some songs from kevin abstract (i need to explore that avenue further), some from megan thee stallion honestly, some steve lacey, really into tory lanez (controversial cuz he shot megan thee stallion in the foot and wouldn't admit it, but okay.....i really like his music even if he steals it without credit......but i hate who he is as a person), some future, heavy on the weeknd, the whole metro boomin spiderman album, machine gun kelly, some cage the elephant, then some various gabriel songs as i will call them. super loving music rn.

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i super duper hate pimples. especially this one in my ear that just finally decided to fuck off. hate them with a vengeance. especially since it fucked with my every day life and hurt like hell when i kept accidentally scratching it. anyway.

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i finally put my string lights up. still haven't gone to the store for a rug or finished my shelf journey. we got wood tho so yeehaw. gotta figure out the machinery and how tf to get started. i really want to make my bed space more comfy and inviting. especially when i am here way too often, i want to make it super duper comfy. but like not too comfy to where i never leave, but less springy as it is right now. i want to put my mattress topper back on, but my fitted sheets keep coming off of it and make me want to kill something every time they pop off a corner. also it is a little wrong, it sinks in a bit and feels kind of weird. my mom spent money on it so i should use it tho. ugh.

I want to go back to playing the sims. i keep seeing really cool ideas on youtube, i really want to be more creative, so i think i'll go and try some that i've had saved for some time. i kept losing at wii sports tennis for some reason emily and akira are really good :| makin me wanna throw the controller into the tv (i didn't, it's not my controller or tv, and i would never do that if it was pff..).

my throat hurts and i could be getting sick >:( i hate getting sick, especially the sore throat kind. i am going to gargle that cpc mouthwash before that shit decides to go down my entire throat and up my sinuses. fuck you u stupid shit. i'm not staying sick this time, bitch.

anyway, lemme worsen my oncoming headache by playing the sims instead of winding down for bed.

goodnight, good afternoon, good morning, good day,

kD

[bee-cried]

"All that shit is ficticious-"

I....

yes that is a homestuck broadway reference 😞😔

This is for my friend @fallingmaddlyinloveI'm working on a story for their para's. The beginning isn't much, but I hope you like it none the less!

Title: Apples to Oranges

Rating: Mature for language

Summary: basically an AU crossover of all my favorite things hehhhh :D

The sun rose over Turmoil City like any other day.

In a modest, tall, suburban townhouse, a young man, around the age of 17 was sleeping comfortably in his bed as the ring of his alarm continued to cry helplessly on a cheap bedside table.

Annoyed, he slowly opens his eyes. He stares accusingly at the red analog digits shimmering proudly on the screen.

His brows scrunch as he stares.

6…

6:40!?

The blankets go flying and in no time his bare feet meet the cheap, rough carpeted floor. He stumbles into the bathroom, aiming for the sink. 

Dammit! How could he be so fucking stupid to oversleep his alarm? His phone on his bedside buzzes loudly. He pauses scrubbing his teeth to peek from the doorway.

—

“Lazy bitch,” Diana muttered looking at the message she just sent.

Here at the the Lake. Where tf r u?

-Diana

She sighed and stuffed her cellphone in her back pocket. Diana’s brown eyes looks across the sky as a weary set of rose pink eyes roam over her shoulder.

“Luca’s running late again, isn’t he?” Isla says. She’s very soft spoken, almost like a nervous mouse.

Diana huffed, “Isla, he’s probably being dumb.” She takes a moment, “Probably was up all night messing with himself.”

Isla blinks.

“But anyways, I don’t care. Honestly, we might just leave that bitch.”

Isla went wide eyed, “But we can’t!” This was normal for her to take up for Luca. “He said if he has to come to school alone, he’ll die!”

Diana slacked her shoulders, “He didn’t mean literally.” She looked down the road for any signs of him, “He never does.” she muttered.

Isla was still panicked. Today she fancied herself a dress, her light purple hair pulled into pigtails as she held her books to her chest. She looked starkly different to Diana. She wore darker colors and had a strikingly hot pink highlight of hair cupping her chinlink, auburn hair. 

They had been waiting at the lake for 15 minutes now, nearly running late at this point

Diana was just ready to get this day over with. A new school was never a fun idea. Sure she hated highschool, especially Ivory High. Her home highschool was a bitch. There was always fighting and drama and she never really fit in with the popular kids.

Not that she expected to fit in here.

But Ivory High was in a town she grew up in, surrounded by people she knew. And senior year is supposed to be the year you party and do wild shit!

You can’t do wild shit with strangers!

And that was only the half of it.

She had absolutely no clue what a place named “Turmoil” had to offer. She’d already read up on this place before moving here. One Google search told her everything she needed to know.

“Look! There goes Luca!” Isla called, snapping her from her thoughts. Down the road a scrawny short haired boy, baggy shirt and shorts clad, skated up to them. 

Diana shook her head, “This bitch…”

“Hi, Luca!” Isla called, catching his attention down the road. He actually looked up, those pretty dark eyes catching the light as he looked at them. 

Diana could feel a sudden small twinge in her chest. She chewed at the inside of her bottom lip and crossed her arms.

She didn’t care how cute he looked today, they were literally running late for school because of his dumb ass.

“Guys!” he called back getting closer. He nearly tripped off his skateboard once he was close enough and decided to try and hop off. Diana, luckily caught him. 

The pressure of his hands are taut on her forearms as he stumbles his weight into her. He looks up. Maybe the universe was playing mind games with her, but she could have sworn his eyes shimmered. His lips tug into a grin.

“Hey.”

“You dumb ass!” she huffed, throwing him back.

“Good morning to you too,” he muttered as she stormed infront of him. He turned to Isla, “Did I say something wrong.”

Isla tugged her lips to the side in thought, recalculating their short conversation.

“Come on, you clowns,” Diana called over her shoulder. 

She could hear her friends scoff and chuckle as they caught up to her.

end prolgue

I gotta get some sleep

[otonymous]

What’s your favourite thing about each of the mlqc guys? (Up to you if you wanna keep it sfw or make it dirty) looking forward to what you’re planning next! 💕

Hey Nonny!

Thanks so much for the interesting question! 💕 I love taking the time to sit back and ponder over what it is about these guys that makes me throw crazy amounts of cash at them 💸🤣

WARNING: SPOILERS for the game on the EN server, up to and including Chapter 21 (everything else is pure speculation on my part as I generally try to avoid spoilers from other servers).  Profanity (because that potty mouth habit is hard to break LOL)

What I Like About You: Favourite Things About The MLQC Boys:

Things to love about Lucien:

Not to be dramatic but every single fibre of my being loves every tiny pixel making up this gorgeous 2D man (can you tell he’s my favourite boy? LOL)

Lucien is my Byronic hero — I love and embrace all the imperfections of his character, his darkness, his intensity, etc.  Personally, I’d rather have a dark prince than a white knight.

And yet, you know this man would still come through for you regardless of what happens.  And god help whoever tried to hurt you because Lucien’s revenge would be cold and swift

His brain drives me insane: genius scientist professor?  The sensual double entendres?  Sign me TF up please!

DRAMA, ANGST, ACTION! - I love how practically every date and interaction with this man has some deeper meaning that contributes to the plot of the game.  And what could be more romantic than a man trying his hardest not to fall in love with you, only to fail miserably?!  SWOON 💕💕💕

I love: Those eyes, that hair, those fingers, that lab coat, the black trench, those glasses, the black leather gloves, the hickeys on his neck, the way he kabedoned me the very first time we met….

Things to love about Victor:

I actually LOVE his sarcastic ways.  Honestly, nothing makes me laugh harder than bantering with good ol’ Vic.  And let’s face it, the fact that he seems to become even more attracted to you when you sass him back?  SEXY AF

The man COOKS for you and he does it well.  ‘Nuff said.

Ok, seriously, you know at the end of the day that Victor’s got your back.  The man has the wealth, power and influence to really make shit happen and you want someone like that on your side

I love: Victor’s broad ass chest and shoulders, and those tiny smiles he thinks no one can see

Things to love about Gavin:

There’s just something about a guy who’s loved you for his entire life and continues to do so

The fact that this man literally cannot stop himself from saving you, even when he has no idea who you are (it’s like there’s some psychic pull within himself that says HE MUST PROTECT YOU!  Very Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon 💖)

No doubt about it, Gavin is your Ride or Die.  He will BE THERE with you till the very end

Also, this is literally the type of guy who will go to any length and do the most ridiculous stuff just to make you smile.  Want to try that trendy new snack that’s currently breaking the internet?  Gavin will secretly line up around the block for it then surprise you with it 5 hours later like he just happened to pass by the shop

His bajillion-pack abs

Things to love about Kiro:

How he tries to maintain a positive and sunny disposition despite likely having suffered some horrendous atrocities in his past

How open he is with his affection, especially towards MC

The fact that he is just a genuine person in general (e.g. his love for his fans)

His ability to kick ass with ease and in style (ahem, Helios)

The man is a genius hacker.  Have your panties dropped yet?  Cus mine are already on the floor 🤣

Let’s face it: I want dibs on that snack stash.  I’m not about to say no to whatever he’s got hidden away, okay?!

When those blue eyes turn golden, the man doesn’t even need mind control to make me want to do all types of unspeakable things to his body like paint his nails

Things to love about Shaw:

Before we get into this, can we just take a moment to appreciate that half-lidded sexiness?!?  Thanks LOL  

I love the sass and snarky ways of this highly intelligent and capable bad boy

Also a big fan of how Shaw seems to make his own rules instead of blindly following others and is wanted by both the Special Task Force AND Black Swan

I love: his lavender hair, his leather gloves, the way he makes all the panties drop when he plays bass guitar, his skateboard, his taste in music, HIS IRREVERENCE 

Let’s not forget about his mad graffiti skills 🤣

Thanks so much for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📓

[fanfic-inator795]

What kind of jobs do you think the turtles whould have?

Oooh, this is a fun question! ^v^ I’ll start with the easy ones first and go from there

(warning, this got preeeeetty long, lol)

Mikey: So uhhhhh *casually self-promotes my 2019 Big Bang fic*

Yeahhhh, while he totally still does art and DJing as hobbies/occasion side gigs like if someone wants to commission him or hire him for a party, but I truly believe that his love of cooking combined with the discovery that mutant/yokai restaurants are a thing are enough for him to want to be a professional chef. 

He works at Run of the Mill starting at 13 and stays there till he’s 19. From there, he travels the world, working at restaurants both on the surface and hidden down below, gaining experience/food knowledge/cooking techniques (as well as a bunch of friends and connections) and saving all the cash he can. By the time he returns home, he’s ready to open up his own restaurant - and despite him not being able to afford a huge, fancy place at first, it quickly gains popularity as one of the best places to eat in NYC no matter what you are - yokai, mutant or human!

Donnie: I like to think that he’s eventually able to either enroll in a Hidden City university or take online courses like his 87′ counterpart. Once he has his doctorate (and yeah he makes everyone call him Dr. Donnie for like a week after he gets it. The others don’t mind too much since they know how hard he worked to get it, but again they only do it for a week), he pretty much jumps around on projects, being a ‘freelance scientist’ as it were.

Sometimes he’ll be paid to work at a certain lab on a certain project, other times he’ll just work on inventions or designs for cars/computers/etc. on his own and then try to sell them. As for how successful he is, well... let’s just say he doesn’t have to make Shelldon hack ATMs anymore. 

If he ever decides that he’s tired of being an inventor or just wants to retire early, I could see him doing several things. Being a science teacher is one possibility (he does love explaining stuff), another is going into local theatre and being a minor actor (not as glamorous as the movies, but Splints is still proud), maybe even meeting up with Bullhop and being in a couple of his ballets. 

Or maybe he becomes a science museum curator, or a librarian down in the Mystic Library (oh man he would LOVE that), or a video game designer, or maybe he just gets really world and decides he’s going to go all Evil Mad Scientist for a couple months and try to take over the world, just to see if he could. Honestly, with Donnie, he has the talent to do anything he wanted to.

Raph: While pro-wrestling would probably be the easiest answer, as well as the one that makes the most sense, like with Mikey’s art and DJing I could see that being just a hobby/part-time job rather than a career. Yeah, Raph loves fighting and wrestling, but I feel like if he tried to do that ALL the time he’d burn himself out. Fighting is a fun thrill for him, but where’s the thrill in curbstomping 90% of the human opponents he’d face in the ring? And with how barbaric the Battle Nexus is, that would be out of the question too - he wouldn’t want to be hurt, and he wouldn’t want to seriously hurt or kill anyone else.

Nah, I think whatever career Raph ends up having, it’ll be working with kids. He’s an awesome big brother with a ton of patience, encouragement and enthusiasm, and while his own now-adult brothers don’t always need him, there’s plenty of little yokai and mutant kids that do need someone like that. I could see him being a coach for some little league/junior team, or heck maybe even a gym teacher or martial arts master. He and Buddy/Frankenfoot teach the kiddos how to safely spar, and for those who struggle with physical activity, he gives them easier exercises to do and tells them that the most important thing is to try. 

Another job I could see him having wouldn’t technically be a ‘career’ but I could see Raph doing it with no shame whatsoever: Teddy Bear Town employee (probably the manager). I mean... come on, Raph would freaking LOVE that job. He helps kids pick out the perfect bear/accessories, and he just loves seeing them go home happy. The 10% employee discount is pretty sweet too. Also, you just know that if some entitled parent came in and started being rude to his co-workers or tried to shame kids (”You can’t get that, you’re a boy and that’s for girls!” crap like that), he’d tell them to knock it off or get thrown tf out, no hesitation.

Honestly though, out of all his brothers, Raph is the most into being a ‘hero’ so if having an actual paid job doesn’t work out, he’d probably be pretty content just being a ninja/vigilante and stopping baddies around NYC, usually going solo but occasionally being joined by his bros and April for old time’s sake. A less angsty version of the Nightwatcher, perhaps?

Leo: Hooooo boy, this is definitely a tough one...

This boy loves being the center of attention, so like with Raph you’d think that the obvious choice would be Battle Nexus Fighter, just like his daddy. But uh, even if you ignore the unfortunate implications of what Lou went through while imprisoned there (and how he’d probably be pretty damn against it if Leo tried to make that his career) as well as the dangers in the Nexus, I have a feeling that by the time this season’s over, Leon’s not gonna want anything to do with Big Mama OR her Battle Nexus.

Unfortunately, there’s not a ton of options for Leon. Unlike his brothers, he doesn’t have a ton of hobbies or interests that can translate into a career. He’s good at skateboarding, martial arts and basketball, so if the Hidden City has any pro sports teams he could maybe get into those, but again idk if he’d want to do that full time, even with the adoring fans. He likes sci-fi and Jupiter Jim, so maybe he’d try to be an actor in a sci-fi franchise, buuuut that’s pretty much a pipedream. Splinter was lucky enough to make it big as an actor, but idk if Leo would be that lucky.

So where does that leave our blue boi? ...Honestly, I could kinda see him being a radio personality or a podcaster. The kid’s got a ton of charm and a pretty likable personality, not to mention his wit. On the right format, he could gain fans fast, and all while pretty much doing his own thing. 

He’s also really good at planning/strategizing (’Many Unhappy Returns’, ‘Lair Games’) as well as calming down conflict (as seen a bit in ‘You Got Served’), buuuut idk what jobs those skills could apply to that Leo would also be interested in. So for now, I’m gonna say he alternates between doing radio/podcasts and being a ninja/vigilante alongside Raph. But hey, I’d love to hear suggestions from you guys! ^v^

Aaaaand of course April majors in journalism and eventually becomes an awesome newscaster/investigative reporter ^v^ But hey, that’s a given, heh.

So yeah, those are all my ideas on what jobs the boys could have, should they decide to become members of human/yokai society instead of just being super awesome ninjas of the night and the heroes of NYC. 

[daddyhobgoblin]

The cursed FanFiction

Part one and two

The abomination I was told to post this so I did

What’s is about. This is a story compiled by multiple requests by friends and people online aquantences part three will be up at some point send requests in my asks. Essentially it’s a sally face fanfic with cameos of people like brendon urie Barney the dinosaur and kirt kobain

Enjoy the goblin king

Baby sun gazed over a burning nockfel as the charred ashes of buildings rained down onto the ground like snowflakes. Billy Joel has started the fire this time and it showed mainly the giant BJ carved into a cornfield. Well that could’ve just been for blowjob but no it ‘‘twas billy Joel.

It’s a few hours later now the narrator had to spend some time laughing at her expertly crafted blowjob joke because I the narrator have the emotional maturity of a 7 year old. Anyway this brings us to our main carecter Angelica cooper.

Angelica sat up in her hospital gown her green hair hung in wirey tendrils over her eyes. She could hear the doctors talking all she could make out was “she needs a new nose” Angelica liked her nose she thought it was fine for the time being a bit charred you know but it’s there right. No it wasn’t there was no nose left just sort of a breathe passage. (So like a nose job) she thought it couldn’t be that bad yeah she couldn’t take off the bandages but she most likely still had a nose.

The fire had taken most of her classmates friends family teachers well she had no idea who survived except she knew sal had lived because he was out the day it happened like eating bugs or something Angelica didn’t know where. Just out of town on a boat trip with his dad. Angelica wondered what one does on a boat she had been in a boat once a few months before the fire. Her uncles dog liked to swim in the bay so the whole family went out. She didn’t much like water. I mean does anybody it’s like wet and cold and shit I mean Angelica knows what’s good.

She tried her best to remember where everyone was before the fire. She was in the highschool Spanish class December 8 9.42 am. She could remember herself wearing those new pants she had bought at the pant store that fit really well. Angelica was going to miss those pants.she was on her way to the bathroom when she saw him billy Joel with a lighter hiding ilnear the library. She thought nothing of it but by the time she was washing her hands the alarm started. Imidiately the fire doors locked as she tried to run but it just got hotter until it was all just red and orange. Next thing she had remembered was waking up a few days ago in the icu.

Ok where was everyone she knew that ash and Larry had chemistry in the lab downstairs that had an exit she thought there was a fire exit in there unless they were skipping class.she had seen ash on her way up there stairs right before the fire. Panicking Angelica tried to sit back up to no avail. She tried to call out for a nurse but it just didn’t work. Just then brendon urie walked in wearing a sexy nurse costumelowkey hot.

She despately tried to communicate with the nurse before being given a slip of paper and a red sharpie.brendon watched her try her best to scribble down the question who is alive??!!. Brendon moves the bandage from over her eye and bent down level with her.”we still don’t know” she was absolutely shook how do you not know is somebody is like alive or not. Blood pressure rising she wrote down apesific names starting with sal. Still in Ohio on that lake thing coming back now Larry was in a coma ash survived but chug is still unable to be found.

She hoped she would have visitors soon firstly her dad Kurt Kobain walked in in. Thank god he was alive doing well luckily. Still not exactly what she wanted to seebut there was nobody for a long while. About a week still trying to figure out a plan of treatment.

She was supposed to get surgery in a few days she was a bit nervous but who gave a shit if she died.i mean I don’t and I’m narrating her life If she died I could go down to Taco Bell and grab a bite to eat but that’s besides the point it was the day of the surgery still with no information in her friends she was wheeled into the or with a bit of a smile on the charred remains of her face. It was a full nose transplant donor unknown. Well to Angelica at least the doctors know.

Angelica woke up after the 420 hour operation with a significantly larger nose. But whose nose is it anyway. Brendon urie came back holding a mirror”do you want to see” he asks smiling politely. Angelica nearly ripped off her bandages with excitement gazing into the mirror. It looked farmilliar somehow too farmiliar. Angelica turned to doctor urie you would know him he was in the fire too Larry Jonson.

Angelica turned into the camera in shock as the office music played in an ominous tone.”is he like alive” she stuttered.like ya man you don’t need a nose to live he still has like 69 inches of nose left” dr Urie says “oh thank god” she stutters “he can probably visit soon” doctor urie says with one of his famous welcoming smiles.

(A narrator giggle break later heh 69) Larry struts in with his skinny noodle legs that somehow supported his body. Angelica wondered how those tooth picks kept him standing she had skinny legs but at least they were portportional ok who was she kidding she was basically a cartoon at this point. He didn’t seem injured at all. “Dude what happened to you” Angelica asked questioning.” Ok so like I wasn’t in the fire itself I skipped chem and went outside because sal was FaceTiming me and I looked up from my phone and everything was on fire and I was like woah dude what type of flower is that but then I realized that the school was on fire so I walked away from that shit and walked tf home then I fell off my skateboard and broke my head open that was fun still they were like hey Angelica don’t got s nose and I was like I got a nose and here we are” Angelica responded with “bro that was like a way runon sentence but neat so you’re like homeless now too right” yeah they lived in the same apartment building do no shit honey. A beautiful moment was shared before ending part one of the god damn bullshit

Part two

Angelica butcrack woke up to the sound of Barney the dinosaurs welcoming cry “I love you you you love me we’re a happy family” they wer eup in sals uncles cabin because well the entire town burnt down so they were all staying there for awhile. Barney walked into the living room where Larry,Ash Todd,and sal were all sitting watching Pokémon on the teletubbie as a steaming plate of muffins was plopped down on the tv table in front of them. Damn Barney was hot Angelica thought he may be her best friends uncle but he was smokin. Sal picked up a blueberry muffin matching his lucious locks,also getting mucho crumbs on the carpet now who was bout to clean that shit up not me.

When Angelica bit into her muffin she felt something hard in it. Upon inspection it was a tooth like ew she passed the tooth around to everyone completely grossed out. Todd took the tooth and plugged it into Barney’s laptop and immediately it started playing megaslavania and an image popped up in screen of bob Duncan holding a map. He was able to zoom in on the map and saw that exact tooth pictured on it with the locations of other teeth around it. The gang decided to follow the teeth in Barney’s big white van with free candy scrawled across the side. Ash was in charge of directions because well she could read I don’t think anybody else was capable of reading.sal drove towards the tooth locations.

The journey would be a tretourus one being the fact that there were a bunch of dead rats on the road like big rats man like the new you’re kind. They kept on running over dead rats and Angelica insisted that they make sure it was a rat not a really hairy midget. There was only one little casualty but what do you expect when you put Mickey Mouse ears on your kid damn. They approached the location of the second of tooth.

It was the Walmart parking lot some dead guy was found in in Howell l. They left the car with the intention of both snacks and some tooth. Twards the back of the parking lot they found the tooth in the parking spot that guy died in. This one had a phone number sal put it in his pocket because he had those zip up pockets that like keep stuff safe from falling out then decided to go got snacks.

A mysterious tooth map that leads you to Walmart must mean it’s snack time.its like when your music starts buffering as some guy gets shot on your street you were like meant to know.enough about me within the elegant Walmart our heroes got a cart full of Mountain Dew ramen noodles,a couch,kiddie pool, and a pair of Gucci slides.(they ate the Gucci slides).

The gang decided to call the mysterious tooth number using Angelica’s cellphone. Once the dial tone stoped an all top farmiliar jingle played “doofensmirtz evil incorporated “ then the phone screen lit up with yet another map. The group of fuckwads collectively groaned and got back on the road in Barney’s creepy rape van.

After running over an elderly woman three birds and a baby they stopped at a red lobster along the way. Confusion plagued the gang like the bubonic plague and once again killed tons of people in the 1800s. Ash stuck her hand into the lobster tank and grabbed one out by the claw claiming herself the lobster king. She bit into the shell of the still living lobster unholy juices sloshing onto the floor. Later on the waiter gave the rest of them their food and they ate like normal people ash gnawed in the lobster for like an hour ferociously eating the poor cunt whole.

Anyway Angelica and Larry shared shared an order of nachos(do they sell nachos at red lobster ?) Angelica dipped into the salsa and something kinda whiteish appeared on the chip she put the mysterious object on her plate figuring it was like a crack rock or something but alas ‘‘twas a tooth. Ash was too busy foaming at he moulth and seizing to actually read the tooth so they asked he next best thing. Todd could read. He suggested taking ash to the hospital but they decided to read the tooth first. This tooth said “bro wtf are y’all doing at red lobster also take ash to the hospital dicktwitch signed ya boii” so they did decided to drive her to the hospital. Apparently she had eaten some of the candy in Barney’s van and got poisoned.

The gang waited in the hospital waiting room

Pondering the tooth. Someone must have been sending them. Angelica stares at the gps screen trying to watch the screen for the next closest cemetery they were probably going to need it if not for ash Angelica’s will to live would soon lie there hospital WiFi is shit and Larry tod and sal were all in the bathroom.

A few hours later a nurse cane in with news ash was going to be fine she just needs to stop eating shit off of the floor. She had contracted rabies from the candy so she should be pretty chill.in a few hours. She had been given the rabies antidote and the gang filed into the room waiting for her discharge so they could get back on the road. Ash seemed fine for now sal asked her what exactly she had eaten and apparently she had eaten a candy labeled a not so jolly rancher like bitch is you blind. Well I guess not but this narrator is tired of ash’s bull shit and honestly wished that she had died. Well she didn’t so they got back in the road vowing not to eat any more candy out of Barney’s van.

The gang returned to the van a little shaken up and went to a motel to stay for the night. They rented two rooms and sitting invitingly in the bed of the females room was another tooth. And a used hyperdermic needle (probably shouldn’t sit there) exhausted the girls flicked the needle off the bed and picked up the tooth. Ash looked into the tooth and stared at the message.”I swear to god fuckwads stop getting rabies and find me pussy” rude ash thought it wasn’t her fault she got rabies. Angelica placed the tooth in her front pocket and passed out on the bed ,rude ass teeth man.

When morning came the gang regrouped by he van and took a look at the gps again.they set out to what was most likely doofenshhmertz evil incorporated.

Hours later they arrived outside of a foreboding castle labeled Travis’s evil incorporated. They looked in shock as this part ended on a shitty cliffhanger.