#how tf did he survive in medieval times

[royaltea000]

he survives off echolocation alone

[dwellordream]

“…Prague, and medieval Europe more generally, as I will never tire of telling you, were sites of legal and legitimate sex work. After all, unmarried men needed a sexual outlet so they didn’t get too horny and tear their cities apart, and fourteenth-century Prague was one hell of a city that emphatically did not need a bunch of sex-crazed dudes messing with it.

Prague was very much in the ascendancy at the time, having been pumped full of money and prestige by friend of the blog the Holy Roman Emperor Charles IV (1316-1378). His whole thing was creating Prague as a viable static Holy Roman imperial capital, ideally tied to the succession of his own Luxembourg dynasty. In order to do this he spent a whole bunch of time building new churches and monastaries, expanding the city walls, rebuilding the castles both in and out of town, and basically doing the civic spending that makes cities boom.

So to build all these churches, walls, paved streets, and new houses a bunch of new migrants showed up to do the work. This was all well and good if you were a dude. There extremely was paid work to be done. If you were a woman and showed up cuz you heard money was going to be handed out, there were fewer options to choose from though. If you didn’t want to be a washerwoman, or a housemaid, it was hard to get a foothold in one of the most sophisticated cities in Europe.

There were guilds and old families who controlled the trades, and women in general had fewer choices in terms of employment if they weren’t connected to a family or man. However, all those men who just showed up to the city sans family had a chunk of change in their pockets, and the brothels needed workers so there were a few institutions where women could always find work.

The legal institutions had been the brothels Venice, Hampays, and Obora. After my boy Jan Milíč z Kroměříže’s (d. 1374) got Charles IV to abolish the Venice brothel and give it to him so he could just chill with a bunch of ex sex workers and other preachers, that left two official municipal brothels. Hampays was over on the river near the Jewish Quarter, and Obora was in the Lesser Town up on the hill near the wall and the castle.

Obora and Hampays function here in much the same way OnlyFans does now. These were legal institutions that were following the legal strictures put in place to do sex work. There is no real way to think of medieval institutions or individuals as being imbued with rights (Magna Carta freaks, I am looking at you), but one could say that had legal permissions. They had municipal charters from the city that said that they could do sex work in these places, and so they did it.

How do we know that they had legal permissions to be there? Well because some of the forerunners of Exodus Cry extremely fucked around and found out.

Here I am speaking of the adventures of one Master Ulrich, the priest of St Nicholas in the Lesser Town who came to my attention for being a massive fucking crybaby in the Archdeaconate Protocol of 1379-1382. Essentially this was an exercise wherein a new Archdeacon, Pavel of Janovice came into power and went from church to church asking if anyone had any religious problems he could sort out.

Master Ulric was like, “Yeah I am a big whiny baby, and I keep trying to shut down the Obora brothel. I have on several occasions run up in there, and chased all the sex workers who were just trying to work and make a living out of there.” To Ulrich, much like these Exodus Cry basics, depriving these women of a livelihood with absolutely no recourse to any help when he did so was a good thing because sex is bad and you should feel bad for selling or buying it.

The thing is, absolutely no one agreed with Master Ulrich. Quite to the contrary, he was complaining because every time he pulled this stunt, the city magistrates, alerted by the sex workers showed up and kicked him TF out of their brothel because what they were doing was perfectly legal. This is how we know that Obora probably had a charter, because the city magistrates sprung in to action to do the right thing and support the sex workers when they made a complaint.

Was it their favourite thing to ever happen? I very much doubt that it was! However, that didn’t matter because just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean you get to interfere with people who are just trying to make a living, and the magistrates knew that.

So it was Master Ulrich and his massive fucking L – which the Archdeacon informed him he was going to have to take – that I thought of when OnlyFans reversed their whole “no more tiddy pics” policy. Because what happened – very hearteningly – is that when they tried it, sex workers got mad, and everyone who supports them showed up to yell at OnlyFans.

Exodus Cry, much like Master Ulrich before them, massively overestimated the appeal of the whole “sex is always bad” campaign, and it turns out people want to support and help sex workers instead of impoverishing them. OnlyFans got pushback, the banks who allegedly wanted this in the first place would much rather take money and not get yelled at, and the whole October 1 deadline has been suspended. This is a feel-good story.

I am not saying that sex work in and of itself is necessarily “good”. In fact, I am completely unwilling to label sex as a whole “good” as I am out here on team sex critical. Moreover, I am absolutely not going to tell you that “work” is good either. It is bad but we have to do it in order to survive in our garbage society. What I am saying, and as I have written about before, is that depriving people of their livelihood with absolutely no plan to support them after you do is extremely bad. Sex workers have a right to a safe and dignified way to make a living, and taking that away from them is not helping anyone.”

- Eleanor Janega, “On the power of pushing back against the marginalisation of sex workers.”

[roomofshitposts]

Thoughts & Opinions on episode 122?

episode 122 came into my house, took all of my bread, and desiccated my crops ,,, what the fuck, like 50 separate things happened and all of them reveal some new shitshow that’s been happening behind the scenes

i’m gonna go over some of the bigger points & my theories around them under the cut 

don appeared in the medieval times

okay so there’s two possible ways to see this event: don appeared in tori’s era before he was imprisoned by the shadows, or he manifested there somehow after he was trapped in the ROS.

-> if this happened before his imprisonment, then i think don had started travelling around time to help others with his abilities after attempting to save his family from the anomalies, and gradually grew more corrupt as he tested the limits of his powers, or started losing his mind as things he did in the past started having butterfly-effect style impacts on the future that he had to try and fix over and over. 

this could possibly mean that don started a paradox where he himself introduced anomalies to the world by meddling in the past, which amplified the number of anomalies in the present and ultimately looped back to giving him his abilities and killing his family in his original time, though it does still leave a blank as to what exactly started this real-world cycle of anomalies in the first place (who pulled that ‘thread in the fabric of time and space’ don mentioned? how does he even know what happened?). 

anyways, don’s interference grew to a point where it had become dangerous to the fabric of reality, so the shadows imprisoned him in a realm beyond time and space, the room of swords, to contain his abilities (perhaps reducing his ability to rewrite reality to be limited to changing one day’s events) or maybe punish him, with the knowledge that by trying to help others, he’d doomed them to becoming anomalies and being imprisoned themselves.

things that point to don being in tori’s era before he got yoinked to space jail: in the flashback where he tries to save his family, he has a mustache (bigger than his current one), and he could have grown that out into a beard as he travelled. he looks pretty damn evil in tori’s memory so maybe at this point he’s pretty much lost it, and he has a full beard, similar to how it looked when he was first shown in the room of swords during the season 1 finale, so maybe this is just about when the shadows took notice and imprisoned him. 

-> if this happened after his imprisonment, unlike the above where we can probably assume he started jumping around time soon after he tried to save his family (if he succeeded maybe he felt that he could help others too, if he failed maybe the guilt drove him to try and save others from the same fate), it’s harder to pinpoint when he might’ve manifested into tori’s time. 

if we go off of the theory that the ros exists in cycles, repeating its objective with the same (or new) voyagers each time, and the constants are don, the black box holder(gyrus) and the shadows, it’s likely that don somehow got out of the room of swords in an earlier cycle. he used his powers to manipulate reality in tori’s time, and this resulted in her gaining her own abilities as an anomaly, sending her to the room of swords.

maybe don was trapped in the ros for trying to rewrite reality to save his family and was imprisoned by the shadows. thinking this was unfair, he tried to escape, but failed. he then realized that maybe he couldn’t break out, but somehow (i can’t guess what method he managed to use ghfdsjfj), he could still affect the outside world. he started out by wanting to help people and protect them from the anomalies that happened in their era, but this resulted in the people he helped becoming anomalies and they would get trapped in the room of swords as well, both because of their abilities and to remind don to Stop Doing That. this eventually resulted with don slowly losing his mind and morals, hence why he began as such a warm, friendly person, but later showed himself to be so determined to escape the room of swords that he’s willing to kill nephthys and poison hinju.

things that point to don being in tori’s time after he got yoinked to space jail: his harmonica. in the episodes that show events taking place before the main timeline, and most notably in the flashback where don explains how his family died, he’s always shown using a guitar to channel his powers. he’s only started using the harmonica to try and kill nephthys, and only in recent episodes, in the present timeline. maybe the harmonica is an item he found that can channel less power than the guitar, which makes it weaker but much more discreet so that other ‘meta’ beings (shadows and maybe gyrus) don’t notice him slipping out of the ros or using it to switch boss swords with fakes, murder people, etc, and he keeps the harmonica secret and only uses it when he’s doing shady shit.

DON STOLE A FUCKING BABY???? HELLO????? WHAT THE GENUINE FUCK????

i’m going to elaborate on this point later but like what the absolute shit happened there

gyrus is possibly queen amelia’s son (or at least, her descendant)

so like. hi this entire plot point drove the discord nuts

first off, like,,,, gyrus is descended from (presumably) european royalty? i know that toon stated that gyrus was of korean descent and he’s shown to be able to speak in korean but i mean it’s also possible that the foreign king that queen amelia married, was from east asia, and their marriage was entirely out of necessity to lift the curse on her kingdom. the king dipped tf out after the ceremony to rule his own lands. 

don took the baby (assuming the baby is gyrus) to gyrus’ era, and this displacement amplified a chain of anomalies that began to deteriorate reality, leading to the world don describes as gyrus’ in episode 109 (’catastrophic anomalies are commonplace’ ‘whole worlds destroyed without warning’). in addition, don notes in the same episode that gyrus had ‘kind relatives that [took him] in and [gave him] a life of comfort’, which means that either his parents died on his home planet, or he’d never known his parents-- which would be the case if he was a baby don sTOLE FROM ANOTHER ERA.

alternatively, the baby isn’t gyrus, but rather they were gyrus’ ancestor, who don brought to a time before gyrus’ era. that displacement started creating disastrous anomalies. gyrus’ parents died on his home planet and his relatives took him in, as per don’s words. gyrus leaves home to become an astronaut and joins captain iro’s crew. bing bang boom

don’s bottle of shadow juice

what the hell even is this. people on the discord have theorized that this is the origin of gyrus’ inner shadow or his black box, but. how did don. get a shadow. in a bottle. as far as i know, he’s unable to influence shadows directly so he can’t sing ‘get in the bottle or else with this shoe i will throttle [you]’, but also the shadows are his jailors, why would a) don help them by giving them a host or b) the shadows help him by complying. do they both think they’re being slick and using the other gfhdjgfdhgh

and if it’s the black box, how did don bottle it. why didn’t he just take it. what is going on. 

either way this might be another paradox situation where don found out the origin of gyrus’ shadow abilities/black box/event horizon breaking point and realized he had to take part in getting events to line up so this could happen. so he essentially manipulated reality to ensure that he could get a powerful ally that would hold the black box and defend it from the shadows, and who would be the second constant to appear in the ros (and first voyager), so don could try again and again to gain his trust and get a pawn for his plan against the shadows.

trouble in paradise the black box

ok rip to black box gyrus i really liked him as a character and as a design and he was fun to shitpost about but there’s no goddamn way he’s going to survive this season. he’s been weakened from losing memories and control over the black box, and i’m pretty sure the shadow dragged him off to kill him. plus kodya being yanked back to the black box and the shadows of the people lost during the incident being released means that black box gyrus has either died or lost the command room/a significant amount of control.

and even if it wasn’t for the fact that the situation is pretty much spelling out black box gyrus is doomed, his plot relevance is also wearing out. it’s the same ‘pupil must outgrow their mentor so the mentor dies’ that happened with kodya but this time black box gyrus genuinely has no more purpose to serve after this arc. 

like,,, kodya has plot threads (like nephthys and his own backstory) that exist outside of gyrus. black box gyrus does not exist separately from gyrus. anything he can offer to his reset self, can be found in the black box’s memories once he’s done training him, and they’ve unlocked all the beacon memories. just about the last thing bb!gyrus needs to do is reconcile with kodya and relinquish the black box to gyrus, and then all his story points are technically over. that doesn’t mean i don’t want him to stick around, he’s a well-written character and i am bonkers for his stupid emo outfit, but i don’t know why toon would keep him around after setting up all of the shadow-taking-control-of-the-black-box business and bringing current gyrus to this point in the story.

SHADOW CIB I’M SHAKIGN AND CRUING

y’all i know this is irrelevant and i’m just going 👁👁 because it’s cib but it’s CIB and i’m hoping this means that she’ll become a more recurring background character, in shadow form or in flashbacks, since she seems to be really important to ragan and she’s the second voyager. and maybe there’ll be a way to save people from shadow death without gyrus losing all his limbs. god i hope

[smoothcriminal-minds]

3x7 “Identity”

Our first glimpse into David “why did I volunteer to come out of retirement just to be a frustrated full time father” Rossi.

“Could’ve bought you a coloring book at the airport”

Reid getting called a pipe cleaner. I forgot this happened. Still funny.

I also forgot how much I didn’t like Rossi when he first showed up. Kind of an ass at first, but him protecting our lord and savior Spencer Reid definitely improved his standing.

I don’t even remember what state they’re in but count me out for ever moving there.

Peep Bobby from supernatural.

It’s Montana. Of course.

Morgan about to bust up some stuck up racist white asshole in a bar. We stan.

The medieval torture devices are actually disgusting. The “pear of anguish” like wtf?? Also please don’t google that. Please.

I have the same kitchen soap as this dude. I too survive off beer and pumpkin seeds.

Emily being fed tf up with the “militia” and “Master” bullshit. She also looks like she’s just joined the marines or something with her baggy as hell pants and industrial boots. We love 2007 fbi fashion.

Thankfully ends with jackass #2 getting shot. Courtesy of racist white asshole.

The end ✌🏼

[klarolinedrabbles]

Got took a different direction from the books. GoT Gendry was the total sum of all of Robert's bastards from the books. He was the only Baratheon left alive in the end and he was the combination of Edric and Mya and Gendry from the books. In the end he was legitimized as a trueborn Baratheon in the show. That made him a claimant for the throne. Yes he was a secondary character still. And yeah I don't think him becoming the King would make any more sense than what they did with GoT Bran -

- my point however is that in the show that council made absolutely no sense. Especially since given the GoT narrative as it had unfolded in the show both Gendry and Jon had the best claim for the Throne. There was no way that there would not be factions that would go into civil war in their name even if they didn’t want the throne. They didn’t even bother to make then abdicate. Tyrion a traitor prisoner gave a bullshit speech and everywhere out of nowhere went along with it. I am calling-

- bullshit here. Especially since in the storyline both Jon and even Gendry had been given the Arthurian storylines of the lost heirs that were destined to be the legend Kings to rise. Even Gendry that was a second thought in the show was the hunted lost heir. The bastard that had the blood of Kings that a witch needed for her magic to work. The underdog that found his Lady in his travels. Having the helmet. Having his father’s strength. Having the parallels. The bones of the story were there-

- far more than GoT Bran’s. Same with Jon. And in the end nothing of that mattered? Not to mention that Sansa called independence but Yara didn’t? Yara that still wanted justice for Daenerys and the independence of the Ironborn was her goal too. How about Dorne that were always half in half out and more out? And with the North independent why would the South lords accept a Northern King? Because Tyrion said so? Because he had the best story no one knew or have heard before? -

- And how on earth would the Southern nobility accept the fortune of Highgarden to go to Bronn? How would they accept Bran as their King when the North that was all the rest Kingdoms combined exited the Kingdoms. And more so with Gendry with the Baratheon claim and Jon with the rightful Targaryen claim? Robert’s conquest was too recent in time so was the passion of his supporters. The Targaryens were an ancient dynasty with fanatics for followers. How will they stop the next civil war? -

- Not to mention that all they need is the next Littlefinger mastermind to work underground for the next election of the King. So when the time comes for a new King to be elected in a medieval feudal society what’s to stop the Lords to create new feuds? And how are the future ‘elected’ Kings going to be contained from not wanting to found their own dynasties with their heirs having claim to the Throne? What’s to stop them? Tyrion’s ghost lecturing them from the beyond? Come on now.

Not to mention that in GoT they basically spelled out that Sansa is all alone in the North and doesn’t want to be touched or marry after her traumatic experiences. Arya doesn’t want to have kids and make a family. Bran can’t have kids. Jon took a new oath that somehow forbids him to have kids and after his tragedy with Ygritte and Dany chances are that he will keep his vows now that he retook the Black. So what? After them the Stark line will end? Forever? That’s it. The pack won’t survive?

FUCKING PREAAAACH IT. Like I’m not saying either Jon or Gendry would’ve worked (although I think the case can be made for each tbh), nor that it was even what I wanted, but the council session in general just…didn’t make sense. 

Tyrion not going down with Jon when it was his fucking plan to kill Daenerys, I—

But yep, you’re not gonna tell me that whatever remains of the stormlands wouldn’t advocate for the last Baratheon to take the throne, again not that Gendry would want it, and make no mistake, he wouldn’t, but the people of his region sure af would. And how they didn’t make Jon and Gendry relinquish their claims—because they both had one—is quite frankly beyond me, lmao. 

OKAY BUT ALL THE TEA, LIKE HOW TF DID THEY SAY YEAH OK WE’LL TAKE BRAN STARK AS KING, EVEN THOUGH HE’S FROM A REGION THAT NO LONGER PERTAINS TO THE KINGDOM WHO’S RULER THEY’RE VOTING IN, WHERE IS THE LOGIC, LMFKJSNDKJSNA, LIKE I CAN’T. 

Yup, Yara’s been fighting for independence longer than literally any other character, and House Martell the longest in Westerosi history, them both staying silent is a joke, to say the least. Also like okay, fair point about a next gen littlefinger pulling the strings in the next vote, did D&D never learn how Pope’s used to be elected??? Through bribes and blackmail, like come on, fam. 

A side note, is that what Clapton said the point of the silver bodice part of Sansa’s coronation dress was, a cage??? I haven’t seen a quote on that. THEY LEFT THE FUTURE OF EVERY HOUSE EXCEPT THE TULLY’S UP IN THE SKY, WHO’S IN CHARGE OF THE WESTERLANDS (Tyrion, I’ll assume), WE LITERALLY DON’T KNOW. BRONN GETTING HIGHGARDEN, A SELL-SWORD GETTING ONE OF THE NINE REGIONS AND BEING MADE MASTER OF COIN WHEN THERE’S THAT FUCKING SCENE WHERE HE ASKS TYRION HOW LOANS WORK, LOANS. 

But Sam and Gilly ended up together, rejoice ya’ll. I just—bruh. Arya and Gendry ending up together would’ve settled the future of two great houses, we didn’t even need to see actual kids, just them ending up together would’ve sufficed and the implication could’ve been made. Yeah if I were Jon, I’d never love again, lmao. Literally who could blame the man. A mess, a literal mess that I will never get over. 

[zigsexual]

murderking: part deux

it’s here my friends, just in time for the release of trr book two, we are about to board the ss conspiracy yet again,, set sail for…. MURDER

so lets talk about the coronation and sis there is LOTS to talk about

king constantine?? more like…. king constant murders

first off, everyone’s favorite ginger bitch

if u poor like me and didn’t buy the scene to follow her, let me fill u in with these screenshots i stole from tumblr

so her parents were traitors

believable enough right?? i mean this family does not have the greatest track record (read: fuckin luther #tbt to the medieval ages)

but like….. why tf would anyone try to start a goddamn coup in cordonia

first of all the main export here is apples,,, one shitty winter and there goes the GDP

pick a better country fam!!! coup the shit out of like sweden or something, idk!!

like really tho what was their supposed “plan” here

assassinate the king? uhhh fam he got two damn sons

the nevrakis not even really that close in relation to the royal family,, they ain’t heirs!!!! how tf they gonna get this damn kingdom to support them after they overthrow a monarchy

cordonia really does it By The Books as we have learned from the ridiculous marriage/coronation law so p sure they would have just crowned leo’s teenage ass and wifed him up

and if the nevrakis took him out too then u best believe liam’s royal diaper would be sitting on that fuckin throne

toddlers & tiaras whoMST

cordonia don’t fux with logic!!!! democracy???? no place for it here!!!!

there’s no way that traitor shit is true

notice how she only says “King” and not queen or monarchy or royalty, etc….. hmmm yes very interesting….

oh also forgot to mention this but all this info is delivered by an ANONYMOUS LETTER?????? With PROOF ENCLOSED???

who is out here keepin receipts like this!!!

not maxwell!! he’s like fuckin three when this shit goin down; a bich out here concerned about potty training or w/e like he aint keeping a burn book

not madeleine!!! i mean she an old hoe for all we know (tryna marry liam’s older brother smh) so what she’s maybe like 8 or 9??? old enough to be shady on the playground but not in the damn palace

so who do we have with the means to make convincing old ass royal documents proving an assassination attempt/planned coup as well as the motive to get olivia the fuck out the way??????

hmMMmMMMmMmmM i wOnDeR wHo it could bE

cLEArLy cordonia is ready to bust a nut for the royals ok

bust a nut……. OR……. believe a completely implausible assassination story cop-out??? believe that two members of a prominent family (the nevrakis) were ~mysteriously killed~ for some god-knows-what reason, apparently with absolutely no thorough criminal investigation into the matter???????

👀👀👀

more likely than u think

ok now we get a plot twist: whos the one who has CANONICALLY been keeping this (bull)shit a secret all along?

THIS A MURDERKING POST!!!!!! OBVIOUSLY ITS MURDERKING

“i don’t know why he did it” ME NEITHER!!! MAKES NO SENSE!!! PROBABLY BECAUSE IT’S A LIE!!!!!!!!

maybe a small mercy for the surviving daughter of [the people he goDtDaMN murDeRD]

“maybe because revealing the plot would’ve been worse for cordonia’s stability than covering it up” uhhhh OR HE MADE THAT SHIT UP SIS!!! REVEALING THE PLOT GIVES PEOPLE THE CHANCE TO POKE THE DAMN HOLES

tbh she right tho i mean revealing the plot (of MURDERKING) would have been v bad for cordonia’s stability so can’t argue with her there

literally why this ominous as fuck final line

what the fuck u got this king to thank 4 sis

what he ever done 4 u

nnnnnnnn get in ur rolls royce and GO olivia!!!!!! run ur bich ass all the way to the POLICE

ok so now, from the mouth of the man himself

a sappy speech for his son?

THINK AGAIN FOLKS

“always hoped”????? ummmmm sir

sir did u forget

ur son leo

he’s here like he’s not on a damn cruise rn he in ur ballroom fuckin watchin u say this shit

miss me with that ivanka/tiffany dynamic

“it feels as though this outcome was……. inevitable”

ok so i added that emphasis but don’t even lie,, u totally read it like that didn’t u

do i even gotta!!!!!! like what!!!! this some frank underwood type foreshadowing right here

reliable??? steady??? sounds like an excellent pawn to me!! let me just house of cards his ass!!!!!!!!!!! (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

“you will be the king that cordonia needs”

sir…… u really gotta get them speeches PROOFREAD by ur shady ass wife

regina be like uhh take out the part where u deadass reveal the plan maybe?

meanwhile liam just :)

not knowin shit

not helpin our ass for shit

w/e i got a bone to pick with liam rn like he’s still a Snack but he’s a Messy Snack like one of those nature valley bars out here leavin damn crumbs everywhere

tbh i don’t even know where this is going anymore I forgot my thesis time 2 conclude

the king that cordonia needs

basically murderking knows that liam is the spineless one

LOOK ok DO NOT COME FOR ME liam is a sweet bean and a gentle gingersnap but also he whipped out his dicc for madeleine waaaaay too fast if u ask me,, he been Trained

idk what olivia’s parents knew,, some shit probably or else they wouldn’t be worm food

but it’s pretty clear madeleine is the Chosen One™ 

leo fucked it up so now he out

liam ABouT to fuck it up,, so the king got rid of option #1 (mc) and option #2 (olivia)

and now madeleine is gonna be the queen, liam is gonna be the king, and constantine has… TRIUMPHED?!?!?!

stay tuned biches

xoxo gossip sarah