#how r u gonna tell me my own gender identity

[shawtylike]

i hate the term egg being used for gender queer ppl

my friend kept referring to me as an egg basically saying i was not yet at terms with being a trans man but like,,,, im so comfortable in my gender identity of genderqueer.

it’s giving calling bisexuals confused imo

[ezra-trait]

thanks you for (over) 400 followers ! :]🫶 i appreciate y'all tons, thanks for helping me reach this milestone and enjoying my silly sims and lil edits 💕

spots are gonna be open until i tell u otherwise, please check under the cut for more details in how to request your sim :D

—

OKAY – this is my first time opening requests and i'm a bit nervy, so i ask u for your patience, and to pls be respectful and kind ofc :)

info:

send your request to my askbox

tell me if you want private or public download for your sim – any anon ask is set for public download automatically

you can include stuff like skin, hair and eye color, as well as gender identity and body type – and if you feel like it, u can also send in references for specific facial/body features with the linking function

i'll give your sims one (1) everyday outfit based on what you describe as their vibes + personal style

tell me if you want their outfit to be custom content or vanilla (tell me what packs u own if the 2nd one is the case)

traits and name are gonna be randomized if not given

you can be as detailed or vague as you want, both r welcome

and OCCULTS ARE WELCOME ! (but if you request one, i honestly don't know how to make actual occults, only sims that look like occults 🧍)

ALSO some lil examples of some sims requested by friends i've made:

[cringelordofchaos]

You asked Berry this so I am asking YOU out of spite for not asking ME

YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS??

IFHASHFKAJHVKAHDKC

uhmm ill be my own attorney in the court; in my defense, your honour, i saw berry reblog a post specifically about sonic sexuality headcanons and berry shared their hcs in the tags but also put in the tags abt how their 'headcanons may change'. and i wanted to see if their headcanons changed so i asked them

ANYWAY

uhh these r all pretty much identity + nd hcs so sorry if u were lookin for more

(edit:wait actually im gonna sort this into two parts:: queer + nd headcanons and then like. backstory and personality hcs)

SONIC: adhd, used to hc him as bi ace but fuck it hes romance repulsed oriented aroace, also me likes the idea of him being genderqueer in some way, moreso specifically either transmasc nonbiney or transmasc trigender. also adhd (side note i heard someone sayhe couldnt possibly have adhd cuz "he can focus on missions" and. wjhat.) also maybe ptsd from thecountless traumatic experiences hess had to endure

AMY: sappho. i have also adhd'ed her in the past but im not so sure npw. i also saw someone hc her as bipolar and thas valid

TAILS: i know he can definitely represent as an autistic stereotypce but look at him :(( (but i genuinely think his backstory is sort of a metaphor for the nd experience. and also i think theres a lot of things that may make him autistic codedthough albeit many of them r stereotypical). special interest in engineering

KNUCKLES: bisexual as ffffff, though he doesnt give a shi abt labels

and ofc STTICKS:: demirose lesbiian. . also female but she rlly doesnt care abt gender. also autistci mayhaps

now for the more interesting hcs:

SONIC: something traumatic happened to him that made him scared of water in the first place, thas for sure methinks. he also just doesnt really show his negative emotions and he moreso just tries to 'dealw it' instead. i have headcanoned this for years as many others have and it appears to be somewhat canon in frontiers which is pretty great. he plays the electric guitar and is a pretty skilled singer and yeah. chilli dawgs r his comfort food....... loves rock electric and heavy metal and sometimes listens to it on his runs. pretty comfortable w being independent . also this is not a headcanon but i dont think his idw iteration is that out of character. he sees pretty much everyone (rivals and frenemiesalike) as friendos

AMY: has some form of abandonment issues which is what makes her as clingy as she is. generally used to feel left out and misunderstood from sonic n others in games like adventure and adventure2 but their relationshipsget better. listen. listen i heard someone on tumblr hc amy having abandonment issues and it hasnt left my miind since. she used to feel embarrassed by herself and her personality but became much more expressive of herself as time went on bc she starrted feeling more accepted. DEFINITELY writes fanfiction and fancomics and draws fanart and likes theatre(this is canoon actually). has meetings w the girlsTM where she just reads their fortune n everything. she also said in one game that she aspires to BE LIKE sonic and i have hcs abt that as well. can b mischievious and sneaky. has a tarot card reading BUSINESS this girl earns money for this !! shes very magiical girl bc she can pull her hammer out there, tell the future, turn invisible, has a 'sonic snese' but this is not a headcanon this is canon. plays the violin. loves to create fun outfits. into knitting and crocheting. . yeah i have more

TAILS: he can get pretty insecure of himself at times, heholds high expactations of himself and feels like if he doesnt meet them he might as well be a failure. ooopslol. he also hates when ppl misinterperets who he is as a person and when they undermine how skilled he is. he sometimes doesnt really let others know how he feels and hides it w a positive attitude. his gizmo is his comfort item. sonic was his first friend. the reason why he acted cocky in lost world and constantly pointed out how they shouldnt trust eggman (although it was super ooc) is bc of how insecure he was and he felt like sonic didnt trust himenough. and he feels bad abt it. hm. he also likes to draw sometimes and is generally skilled and precise, partly bc he has to draw blueprints for his creeations. one of them orphans. wags his tails/unintentionally starts flying when hes excited (stimming woag). hes not really SCARED of thunderstorms but they ARE a sensory nightmare for hiim (loud, bright/0). sonic sort of 'taught him how to make friends'. he still has cosmo in the form of a plant inside his house. he has many bunkers/ Sometimes he has a hard time accepting help (inherited from his older brotherlol). his tails are an nd allegoryOK ILL SHUT UP NOW

KNUCLES: icoud rambllea lot about him whenever im in the mood especially when i seeppl misinterperet him but i dont really have much HEADcanons bc everything i say abt him is canon

STICKS: ok this is gonna sound wild and its definitely not original but. she has abandonment/truusst issues relatedto her former parents that have something to do w the government which is one of the reasons she became so hateful of th egovenrment. dont ask (actually do if you want to). generally feels free to be herself but there are times when she feels ashamed of her wild side ig you couldcall it. very creative.

the reason why theres not shadow even though hes one of the more popular ones is bc im just not obsessed w him at the moment sorry :(

I HAVE MORE but these are all FOR NOW

now YOU TELL ME YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS SO I DONT LOOK AS DELUSIONAL [[POINTS FINGER AT YOU]]

[crowstan]

Alright, so I actually did this last night while I was waiting for the melatonin to kick in, and I couldn’t post it because Tumblr decided that I can only post once a month on the mobile browser, so it’s honestly really late. Anyway, spoilers for My True Identity! | Sanders Sides, which is also linked because! Snazzy.

**Reminder!!** These are just my opinions and feelings, and aren’t factual at all! There are also instances of tone indicators in different spots as well, as those are something I use frequently in notes and pm’s. I also tried to keep cussing down to an absolute minimum, but in cases where I felt it was better to not change it, the words will be censored. THis is also a direct copy n paste, all i did was censor things a bit better.

-holy SH*T stuffed animals!! yes!!

-"SNOOZE!" ndhfhfjfhdhdhdh moooooood

-oh that intro title was snazzy!!

-jdjdjdj ok i was not expecting immediate noise, i shall note that next video

-jdjdjdj same man, same. sometimes you can't help but over share

-i KNEW there was theater!! yes!!

-"do i really know myself as well as i should? " uhhh, technically the self is a projection and a social construct but does anyone really? (/hj)

-got distracted because dream lover started to play from my playlist so i was kinda vibing for a bit before i continued lmao

-"hello there class!" djfhdhjf l o g a n!!! yes!! class time!! we gonna learn some mf stuffs about ourselves today!!

-in all seriousness, learning is fun unless it's about me lmaoo, I'm the only topic i hate, as much as i talk about it

-"this is my intellectual side! every fact that I've ever learned."

"believe it or not i was quite the nerd in school! "

"I'm pretty sure that's a surprise to no one" lmfaoooOOO sjjdjdjd?? that's legit hella funny ngl?? reads like the last two brain cells but one is v drunk

-djddjdj the sass. why is. roman sassy.

-also fanciful?? wow that's a word!! i like that word, imma steal it /hj

-"what's going on kiddos?" JFJFJFJRJR KIDDOS. I LOVE THAT WORD SM. Y'ALL DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT WORD

-"I also represent your unabashed love of dad jokes." ??? me??? mood???

-ok ngl that kinda self aware joke??? yes. yes. y e s.

-thomas points out that most people know him from vine! this is correct he made AWESOME vines don't @ me please

-jdjdjf r o m a n. just called thomas o u t

-yes i am still aware this is all one person shhhh lemme sort the stuff n do the things n make them just slightly separate from each other

-thomas is really good with his characters and my knowledge that it's all him will not stop my awe of how well the characterization is because the instant you see each side? you can immediately tell they are carried differently than the others. that is HARD and i will appreciate that

-hfjdje WAIT THEY EACH HAVE A DIFFERENT DIALECT. THAT'S SO????? RHRHHRNRNR THAT'S HEL L A

-"Wouldn't want to be our own villain, would we?" uh, you're not supposed to do that? /j

-jdjdjdjdjd ideal. i would also like that in a person. except less cartoons n more whatever obscure video i find. did you know that an ultra shortcut works by hitting all the correct key check points in the right order, but without doing it as intended? Apparently the boundaries can overlap and the game thinks you progressed correctly! i think the coconut mall ultra shortcut is the coolest and i wish we knew more about it. this has been mini info dump with james, thank you for tuning in

-patton: asks a deep question that takes a lot of self knowledge to answer

also patton: hey, we have the same glasses!!

-why is that me at 3am

-jfjfjfjfjfjfjjf?? he mentioned we may have harder questions about ourselves like our gender or sexuality?? i funkimg STAN sm

-"where do babies come from?"

"you're a father"

"well, i know it has something to do with storks"

-GOSH i love patton!! he is my official favorite now, i don't take criticism at all on this topic

-"Am i right tony?"

"not my name"

"then what is it?" jdjfjfjdjr me after i come out as trans n ppl don't know my name

- a a a smol hamster, a tiny ladsy

-"youtubes" djdjdn sometimes i say that, huh

-DHJFJFJR GUYS GALS AND NON BINARY PALS DJFJFJFJRJRIIEIEISISJDHD!!!

-the end card with patton??? a mood. a M O O D

(written: December 1, 2020, 23:49)

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

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gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

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morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

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leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

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morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

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morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

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merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

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morgause: customer (derogatory)

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arthur: business major (derogatory)

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leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

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mithian: fruit (affectionate)

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arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

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gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

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morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

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percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

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kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

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morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

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gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

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merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

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arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

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gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

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arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

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merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

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merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

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gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

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morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

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merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

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website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

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gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

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morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

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morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

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gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

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morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

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morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

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merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

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arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

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gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

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morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

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morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

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gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

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morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

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gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

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morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

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morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

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arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

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morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

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mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

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morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

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mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

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morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

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morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

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morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

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morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

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season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

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morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

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arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

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morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

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mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

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mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

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morgana: i deserve to be kissed

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morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

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mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

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morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

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morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

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morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

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merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

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morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

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gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

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morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

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merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

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cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

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morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

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gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

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morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

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morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

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morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

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morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[pharahlesbian]

What are your opinions on aromantic folks?

well, its kind of complicated. on the one hand, i dont rly feel like u guys r doing anything wrong per se, like none of u ever seem to do any of the harmful shit that aces do. and aro is an identity i used to hold really closely. roughly 4-5 years ago, i was on here identifying as aroace.

my personal experience with both labels is that they did measurable harm to my perception of myself and my sexuality. when i did eventually realize i was a lesbian, i didn’t immediately suspect those labels had done me any harm. not until i read several other accounts of ppl who went through a near identical experience as me

see, the answer to your question is complicated bc i first have to address split attraction. its one of my main gripes with asexuality. its my firm belief that romantic and sexual attraction should not be so neatly sequestered the way many people describe them to be. the reality of attraction is that every single person experiences it uniquely and defines it for themselves and themselves alone. i genuinely think the labels “aromantic” and “asexual” and all their variants shouldnt exist at all. and i think they are REGRESSIVE. i really do. they impede progress in a society that desperately needs it. we NEED a more healthy view of sex in our society. we NEED people to understand that its normal and ok to not want sex, or to experience varying degrees of attraction. not wanting sex or romance should be as normal as not wanting your ears pierced. and it should be something you discuss with your partner and your partner alone. having labels for this very normal experience is honestly just setting us back. we dont need to get caught up in a hundred micro labels to describe the ways we have sex. we can just have sex, or dont! or have sex once a month, once a year! or never! and thats your choice and you shouldnt be made to feel like u need to have 5 labels for what should just be how youre feeling. attraction is so nebulous, theres no way we could ever pin it down with labels and we should really stop trying

so. how do i feel about aromantic ppl. well, how do i feel about aromanticism? its a tough conversation to have, because of how personal it is, and its why ive put off this ask for a really long time. i was aroace, yeah, but aro was the label i was really passionate about. im gonna tell you some stuff u might not want to hear, but its my experience.

i was aro because i was lonely, and i was aro because i was scared. i knew i had feelings for girls, but i didnt know how to reconcile them, especially with my burgeoning gender qualms i was also having (which was also happening bc of the aforementioned attraction to girls, but thats another conversation entirely). it was scary, trying to pin down the fact that i was only attracted to girls. and i mightve come to that conclusion a lot sooner if it werent for tumblr telling me about asexuality/aromanticism/split attraction. suddenly i had a copout. cant be attracted to girls if im attracted to no one, right? that plus the fact that when youre lonely and havent experimented with dating, when everything is in hypotheticals, then anything is possible (“well i guess i COULD be attracted to men... but id never have sex with them! so i guess im panro-ace” <-an actual identity i had at age 19. comp het feeds on these micro labels and split attraction)

please keep in mind none of this is directed at you or even aromantics as a whole, im still just talking about my own experience. and my experience was that the aroace label was definitely just a convenient place to hide from being a lesbian. and i know others have had similar experiences.

so...once again. how DO i feel about aromantics? i feel as though we live in a very romance-forward world. romance is everywhere, once youre looking for it. i think i was rather bitter, and preferred pretending that not dating was an identity, rather than the painful reality of firstly not knowing what i wanted, and secondly not even knowing if id BE wanted. i think we all have varying degrees of attraction, both romantic and sexual, and i think for many the two kind of exist in tandem. and again for many, these feelings can exist a lot stronger for them than they do for others. so it leaves a lot of ppl feeling like they MUST be different. i think it makes a lot of sense that i identified strongly with aromanticism, even aside from me using it as something to hide behind. ive never really been much of a romantic. i never had too many crushes, and i only ever imagined romantic scenarios if it were fictional characters i shipped.

of course once i saw someone list these types of things out as evidence of being aro, i was like oh thats me! and latched onto it. and never did anymore introspection. the label was a copout. now, i could tell u that being aroace was a product of knowing i wasnt attracted to men yet not being able to face being attracted to women, so i was like “oh ok guess i have No attraction!” and i can tell u that since ive been with my girlfriend, ive become the sappiest romantic ever.

im not gonna tell you “you just havent found the right person yet :)” but i will say that if you have even the slightest doubt or uncertainty, to go out and experiment! date around and see how you feel. no one can tell you who u are or how u feel except u. u wont be a hypocrite for experimenting. but if youre already sure u dont really feel romantic attraction, then more power to you. not everyone on this earth needs to get married or date. i do think our society needs to normalize just being happy with who you are, and not see it as pitiful. thats an opinion that is so hard to have when youre single, bc u cant help but feel like youre pathetically trying to justify being alone, so im doubling down now that im in a relationship. its fucking ok to not be in a relationship!! if theres one thing that’s stayed the same since i was aro its my assertion that ppl need to fucking chill about orher peoples relationship status

i feel like this answer went in one THOUSAND different directions, but ive been thinking about how to answer this for a while and decided to just word vomit

TL;DR: aromantics are fine, not as harmful as asexuality, you do you, make sure you examime yourself and how you feel often, dont just take the word of ppl on tumblr (me included), everyone experiences attraction differently, i just wish split attraction model didnt exist because its perfectly fine to not want sex/romance or to have low/nonexistent attraction, i just dont believe in the labels/identities.

[fairygrdn]

                𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴    :    #F41R13    //    STATS    »    magnolia kim,  (  two hundred  &  five  )  twenty three,  cis female,  she/her,  matchmaker.    ATTRIBUTES    »    enchanting,  impish,  persuasive,  deceptive.    SEEN    »    seeping teabags for too long,  trading secrets in whispers,  dotting every i and j with a heart.    DO NOT MISTAKE FOR    »    yooa  (  shiah yoo  ).

                hello  qts    !    im   xan   and   im   late   as   usual   but   that’s   just   the   way   the   cookie   crumbles   …   😔   im   22   ,   from   the   est   timezone   &   i   go   by   she   /   her   pronouns   !   i   truly   …   never   know   what   im   doing   with   intros   they   just   turn   out   super   long   &   messy   so   aha   …  are   u   ready   for   this   ?   zimzalabim   !   😋

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK  STATS  !

full  name  :   magnolia   marie   kim

nickname(s)  :   maggie   ,   lia   ,   mags     

zodiac  :   libra   sun   ,   cancer   moon   (  click   !  )

sexuality  :   bisexual   .

occupation  :   self proclaimed matchmaker   .

birthplace  :   undisclosed   magical   forest   .

current residence  :   lunehaven   ,   oregon   .

pinterest   :   (   tba  !   )  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY  !  

born   more   than   200   years   ago   to   a   family   often   referred   to   as   fae   royalty   ,   magnolia   was   the   youngest   of   four   girls   .   her   parents   were   well   respected   animal   fairies   in   the   fae   community   ,   and   because   they   were   so   efficient   at   wildlife   conservation   ,    magnolia   and   her   family   were   never   in   one   place   for   too   long   ,    always   moving   wherever   her   parent’s   services   were   needed   .      

although   her   parents   had   little   interest   in   the   business   of    humans   or   other   supernatural   beings   ,   that   wasn’t   the   case   for   maggie   and   her   sisters.   the   four   of   them   were   fascinated   with   everything   outside   the   fae   world   ,   often   neglecting   their   responsibilities   for   a   chance   to   stick   their   noses   into   situations   they   really   had   no   business   meddling   in   .

as   the   youngest   of   the   family   ,    as   well   as   the   only   weather   fairy   of   the   bunch   ,    maggie   often   felt   like   an   outsider   or   like   she   had   to   try   extra   hard   to   fit   in   and   prove   herself   .   her   sisters   eventually   gave   up   their   childish   games   in   favor   of   following   the   family   business   and   starting   serious   pursuits   as   animal   fairies   ,   which   only   left   magnolia   feeling   more   frustrated. 

when   her   parents   retire   and   settle   down   in   schiltach   ,   germany   for   a   quiet   existence   ,   maggie   tries   to   grow   up   .   at   a   little   over   a   100   years   old   ,   a   more   experienced   weather   fairy   tries   their   best   to   get   her   to   take   life   more   seriously   and   accept   the   fact   that   her   abilities   won’t   ever   line   up   with   the   rest   of   her   family’s   ,   teaching   her   the   value   in   what   she   can   do   for   plant   life   in   her   environment   .   and   for   a   while   she’s   satisfied   ,   but   there’s   a   part   of   her   that’s   still   interested   in   the   lives   of   humans   and   other   supernatural   creatures   ,    something   she’d   been   advised   against   seeing   as   fairies   often   had   bad   luck   trying   to   help   anyone   that   wasn’t   also   a   fairy   .   

like   any   stubborn   teenager   ,   though   ,    magnolia   swore   she   was   different   .   she’d   discovered   a   passion   that   had   nothing   to   do   with   her   fairy   duties  ,   and   that   was   matchmaking   .   something   about   love   had   always   just   fascinated   her   ,   and   she   thought   it   would   be   a   disservice   to    hide   her   gift   from   the   world   .   in   a   small   town   like   schiltach   ,   maggie   knew   everyone   ,    which   meant   she   knew   everyone’s   relationship   statuses   .   at   first   her   meddling   was   innocent   .   setting   two   single   people   up   on   a   date   ,   mailing   anonymous   love   letters   only   to   whisper   to   the   receiver   that   someone   else   sent   them   .   the   more   she   thought   she   was   helping   ,    the   more   confident   she   got   that   all   the  warnings   she’d   been   given   were   overreactions   .   

things   take   a   turn   when   she   tries   setting   up   a   married   woman   with   a   man   that   wasn’t   her   husband   .   maggie   really   didn’t   see   the   big   deal   ,   she   thought   her   match   was   much   better   than   the   woman’s   current   partner   but   what   she   failed   to   realize   was   that   there   were   real   consequences   to   infidelity   in   long   term   committed   human   relationships   .   it   became   the   scandal   of   the   town   ,   and   all   fingers   pointed   to   magnolia   .   her   parent’s   were   furious   with   her   ,   disappointed   that   she   hadn’t   given   up   her   childish   pursuits   and   fascination   with   all   things   outside   the   fae   world   .   not   really   knowing   how   to   handle   the   repercussions   ,   she   decided   it   was   time   to   experience   life   on   her   own   for   a   few   years   .        

mostly   going   places   were   her   ability   as   a   weather   fairy   were   needed   ,   magnolia   spent   the   next   100   years   of   her   life   balancing   her   responsibilities   as   a   fairy   with   her   passion   for   love   games   .   she   expanded   her   services   to   other   supernatural   beings   as   well   ,    which   is   how   she   ended   up   learning   about   lunehaven   ,   eventually   relocating   .   while   her   success   rate   in   matchmaking   may   be   shadowed   by   a   trail   of   sticky   situations   and   all   around   flops   ,   maggie   still   wholeheartedly   believes   she’s   helping   more   than   she’s   hurting   .   it   doesn’t   help   that   she’s   awfully   good   at   convincing   people   to   give   her   a   shot   (   even   when  it   might   be   in   their   better   interest   to   run   the   other   way   )   . 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY  +  TIDBITS  !

oh  boy  oh  man  ...   i   won’t   lie   to   u   she’s   kind   of   a   handful   😳🙈   think   chaotic   youngest   sibling   vibe   .   probably   the   most   irresponsible   person  (   fairy   ?   creature   ?   SDSDKWDNKW   )   u   will   ever   meet   ...   has   never   truly    been   held   accountable   for   her   actions   before   so   she’s   never    learned   how   to   own   up   to   her   mistakes   which   means   if   u   tell   her   she   did   something   wrong   she   will   ignore   u   and   maybe   make   it   drizzle   if   she   knows   u   don’t   have   an  umbrella   .         

big   im   baby   vibes   !    thinks   she   can   🥺   her   way   through   life   bc   it’s   worked   for   the   past   215   years   so   clearly   that’s   all   the   proof   she   needs   she’s   too   old   to   change   her   ways   </3   mischievous   and   way   too   nosy   curious   for   her   own   good   u   can   tell   her   to   mind   her   business   but   she   literally   won’t   .   much   like   miss   tinkerbell   she   needs   attention   to   survive   if   she  doesn’t   get   it   or   doesn’t   feel   like   she’s   getting   enough   she   does   act   out  ...   that   complex   is   high   key   because   she   misses   her   parents   though   /: 

on   the   reverse   of   all   that   she’s   an   extremely   sociable   and   friendly   girl   !   she’s   generally   easy   to   approach   and   befriend   and   she’s   a   big   sweet   talker   .   she   loves   love   😌   but   she   also   doesn’t   really   understand   it   that   well   or   at   least   she   finds   it   hard   to   be   objective   when   she’s   matchmaking   for   others   .   oftentimes   she’s   considering   her   own   preferences  when   setting   people   up   but   her   intentions   are   almost   always   good   SDJWDJWDW  

she’s   crazy   loyal   to   friends   and   the   people   she   cares   about   .   would   never   hesitate   to   be    there   when   you   need   her   to   be   ,   and   she’s   really   big   on   showing   affection   whether   it’s   through   gifts   or   physically   or   mushy   texts   you   probably   did   not   ask   for   but   better   not   complain  about   .   can   be   a   little   dramatic   and   sensitive   at   times   ,   and   yes   maybe   she   overreacts   to   criticism   and   negative   situations   ,   but   she   also   knows   how   to   have   fun   and   get   people   to   let   go   !   very   good   at   bringing   out   the   eternal   child   in   u    <3

despite   her   sometimes   successful   attempts   at   matchmaking   ,   maggie’s   own   love   life   ?   a   big   fat   mess   !   she’s   still   scared   of   serious   relationships   for   herself   so   most   of   the   time   she   finds   a   way   to   mess   things   up   before   it   gets   that   deep   .   she’s   also   a   huge   flirt   so   settling   down   is   a   difficult   concept   to   swallow   SDJBWJDBWJ   also   ...   still   has   those   lingering   childhood   feelings   of   being   different   and   needing   to   prove   herself   so   perhaps   she   feels   a   little   unworthy   of   true   love   ...   that’s   fine   </3      

she   has   the   biggest   sweet   tooth   in   the   world   .   she’s   probably   always   hanging   around   the   bakery   munching   on   pastries   .   will   eat   dessert   before   dinner   every   time   u   can’t   stop   her

always   always   surrounded   by   freshly   picked   flowers   and   she   likes   to   give   them   away   to   people   ,   however   she’s   got   a   bad   habit   of   telling   people   the   flowers   came   from   their   admirer   (    whose   identity   only   she   knows   ,   of   course   )            

has   probably   tried   to   set   everyone’s   muses   up   at   least   once

accidentally   makes   it    rain   when   she’s   extremely   upset   ,   although   it’s   rarer   now   that   she’s   had   more   experience   with   her   abilities   

still   has   a   huge   soft   spot   for   animals   even   if   she   can’t   communicate   with   them   the   way  an  animal  fairy   can

is   on   tinder   ...    get   her   some   help   pls  </3

unironically   throws  tea   parties   in   her   woodland   cottage.   if   she   invites   u   and   u   don’t   show   up   she’s   going   to   hold   that   grudge   until   the   day   she   dies   ...          

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED  CONNECTIONS  !  (  all  open  to  all  genders  )

my   brain   is   quite   literally   all   rot   rn   im   just   gonna   list   stuff   with  minimal   elaboration  please   vibe   with   me   …

people   she's   done   matchmaking   for   <3   pls   give   me   all   the   plots   where   maggie   keeps   setting   ur   muses   up   on   dates   that   don’t   work   out   but   she   refuses   to   give   up   and   ur   muse   keeps   letting   it   happen   for   whatever  reason   ...   OR   maybe   someone  she   tried   to   set   up   once   and   it   didn’t   work  out   and   they   never   let   her   play   matchmaker   again   and   maybe   they   reset   her   for   what   happened   and   she   feels   guilty   about   it   but   doesn’t   know   how   to   deal   with   that   so   she   just   decides   she’s   gonna   resent   them   back    ...   OR   mayhaps   a   success   story   o: 

ex   infatuations   that   ended   tragically   lets   get   that   angst (:<

a   best   friend   PLEASE   ...       

she’s   pretty   upbeat   so   maybe   an   unlikely   friendship   with   someone   darker   /   quieter   where   at   first   they   were   annoyed   by   her   but   slowly  through   charm   and   time   she   grew   on   them   much   like   mold   might   😋      

please   give   me   a   ridiculous   enemies   plot   just   someone   who   thinks   she’s   an   absolute   brat   and   she   does   everything   to   reaffirm   that   thought   since   the   loathing   is   mutual   and   half   the   time   they   don’t   even   know   what   they’re   fighting   about   they’re   just   always   fighting   

current   hookups   we   love   to   see   it   there’s   so   many   directions   to   go   in    maybe   its   purely   a   casual   thing   ,    maybe   it’s   casual   for   magnolia   but   not   for   them   ,   or    maybe   she’s   the   one   like   worm   maybe   i  would   like   more   than   sex   ,    maybe   it’s   like   a   we   only   hookup   when   we’re   partying   thing  ,   maybe   it’s   a   we   only   get   along   naked   thing   ,   there   r   choices    

older   sibling   relationships   !    she   also   high   key   misses   her   sisters   and   being   babied   so   i   would   love   for   her   to   have  friendships   that   mirror   that

someone   she   can   be   in   cahoots   with   …   go   absolutely   bonkers   with   knowing   they   won’t   judge   her   and   she   won’t   judge   them

a   we’re   just   friends   ...   unless   ?    plot

maybe   someone   who   tries   to   get   her   to   b    more   responsible   and   she’s   just   like   UGH   i   will   throw   up   if   u   dont   stop   but   low   key   she   appreciates   the   guidance   

ppl   whose   places   she’s   always   crashing   at   when   she   wants   to   be   in   town   and   not   in   the   damn   woods   

i   wont   lie   to   u   this  got   longer   than   i   thought   it   would   😭😭😭   im   sosososo  sorry   for   the   length   …   also   i   feel   like   my   charas   always   change   a  lil   once   i   actually   start   plotting   &   writing   so   sorry   again   if   u   see   me   finally   writing   as   magnolia   on   the   dash   and   ur   like   literally   who   is   that   …  JSDBWJBDWBDJ   PLEASE  come  message  me  on  discord  to  plot   !   if   u   prefer   im’s   that’s   perfectly   ok   im   just   warning   u   now   it’s   gonna   be   a    much   slower   process   so   if   u   want   speedier   replies   ...  u   can   message   me   @ glo lovecore ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172   maybe  …   give   this   a   like   if   u   wanna   …   plot   hehehe   thank   u   for   reading   all   this   ur   so   brave   for   that   stay   sexy   x  

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

everyone shut the fuck up and CONSIDER trans girl iida

she supposes she always knew unconsciously that there was something different about her but she never rlly put much thought into it until some ppl in the class come out as trans* (like aoyama’s genderfluid, tokoyami’s a demiboy, nd tsu and jirou are trans girls)

and as class rep, but also (and arguably more importantly) their friends, iida wants to make sure she can make them as comfortable as possible abt coming out so she does some research nd stuff. like she knew trans people existed and were valid nd such before but she wanted to get more than just the basic facts

and shes happy for her friends! shes glad they trusted their class enough to tell them, shes glad she can be there for them. but she also notices that she feels rlly...weird? and she keeps doing research just because.......its interesting. but she doesnt know why she finds it so interesting?? and she gets kinda insecure abt that

so she keeps diggin into it and reads posts that trans ppl have made abt their experiences and just classic shitposts nd all that. she thinks the community is great!! and also she finds some fresh wholesome memes to share w her friends so its all the better. right?

but eventually she finds a community of trans girls specifically and she just absolutely COMBS through that. reads every single post there that she can find. but coincidentally she also feels even more insecure now bc shes starting to unconsciously question her gender nd stuff and lets be real folks. an identity crisis is not fun

couple this with the fact that she doesnt experience the traditional dysphoria(tm) that other trans girls seem to universally share, iida gets rlly down abt it. nd it gets to the point she rlly raaaaags on herself for still lookin thro these posts nd stuff and still subtly questioning herself and shes just rlly unhappy at the time :[

nd she doesnt wanna like make tsu or jirou uncomfortable so she doesnt wanna ask them abt it but shes so confused nd frankly hurt and she doesnt know what going oooonnnn with herself

so shes just in this complete funk for a while nd it starts to affect her grades and performance in training. her friends know smths up but iida doesnt know how to even explain how shes feeling so its not necessarily that she doesnt WANT to go to her friends but she literally does not know how to. anyway eventually aizawa keeps her after class and is like “ok iida smths up im gonna call tensei if u dont talk to me”

iida feels absolute HORROR at the prospect of tensei somehow finding out abt this bc oh shit what if he doesnt want her carrying on the name of ingenium anymore??? what if he thinks shes a freak??? what if he thinks shes not really a girl and shes just faking it to be special?? what if- and oh shit thats the first time iida rlly consciously thought to herself “im a girl but what if others dont think i am?”

so she kinda bursts into tears and aizawa internally is like “oh jesus what the fuck” but externally hes like “iida?? r u ok?? was it something i said?? oh fuu- is something wrong with tensei??” and iida just kinda speaks thro her cries like “no nothings wrong with tensei something’s wrong with me” and ill be real folks its real sad girl hours for a bit

anyway iida doesnt rlly elaborate much beyond that bc shes so ashamed and embarrassed but aizawa is like “u’ve gotta talk to someone iida ur friends r worried and frankly i am as well” and iida eventually promises to talk to someone

soo she comes to terms that since she so confused it would be best to ask tsu and jirou abt it even if shes,,,,so v concerned,,,abt making them uncomfortable. but she manages to convince herself that she rlly does need some guidance here and better to ask ppl who know her than ask on the internet sooo

thankfully while iida is working up the courage to ask tsu and jirou to talk, she finds posts derailing terf and truscum shit so she feels. a lot lot better abt everything but particularly the lack of any intense dysphoria she had after reading stuff like that, esp the more verified(tm) articles from the more verified(tm) authors (like doctors and psychoneurologists and such)

so she figures out how she wants to word her questions nd asks tsu nd jirou to meet up. tsu nd jirou agree right away bc all of class 1-a is worried abt their class rep at this point :[ so theyre happy shes finally reaching out

iida is kinda a disaster when tryin to talk but she gets her point across. like “uhh this is a rlly bad way to ask but how did u guys know u were,,,trans?” nd tsu immediately catches on but jirou is only a lil suspicious until further into the conversation

anyway eventually jirou catches on the same as tsu and thats when tsu asks “iida do u think ur trans??”

nd iida is sooooooooo tired of feeling ashamed bc damn. she does think shes trans! she does. she shouldnt feel guilty for how she feels she cant help that. so after takin a moment to steel herself she says “yea” as confidently as one can in the situation

tsu nd jirou r immediately supportive nd ask iida for more details abt how shes feeling nd iida is just,,,so happy,, since shes already on an honesty streak that afternoon, shes able to roughly get her wack emotions into words nd tsu and jirou are like “yea thats valid ur valid iida. it doesnt matter if u dont have the trademark dysphoria or that u didnt know until later in life like ur still young. u say ur a girl, ur a girl” iida cries but only a bit bc damn months of agonizing over this. we stan one trans girl trio.........

anyway tsu and jirou ask her how she wants to move forward i.e. transitioning or telling anyone, and iida hadnt even considered transitioning before bc it felt so out of reach but shes absolutely ECSTATIC at the thought of bein able to look more feminine and it Shows. tsu and jirou r like “ok mood we were like that too right before startin estrogen”

so the first unofficial trans girl trio club meeting ends w tsu and jirou promising to help iida ask recovery girl abt hormones and iida sayin she doesnt want to come out just yet to the class/anyone else in general and tsu and jirou respectin that. i love them yall

anyway after a few months, iida is ready to try hormone treatment so tsu and jirou help her ask recovery girl for a meeting nd r moral support for her while they go thro the process of like figuring out what dosage she should start w/, how long should she take it, when a check up appointment should be, if recovery girl should tell iida’s parents yet or nah, all that stuff. anyway after that,  recovery girl gets her started on hormone treatment which iida is SUPER EXCITED abt and tsu and jirou tell her stories abt when they first started estrogen and AHHH I LOVE MY GIRLS SO MUCH FUCK

anyway eventually after some support from tsu and jirou via the unofficial trans girl club meetings and getting back on her feet confidence-wise, iida comes out to the class :,,,]]] theyre all super supportive and iida cries just a bit. tsu and jirou r so proud of her. aizawa is just glad his problem child #9 is feeling better

ashido and yaoyorozu get together and take iida shopping so she can have more feminine clothes which iida has a lot of fun w......shes never been necessarily big on shopping before (even if she is a part of the rich kid’s club lmao) but this trip is so EXCITING and ashido and momo r so happy for her and so ESCATIC to help her find some clothes and just oh my heart.......

the girls also have a sleepover during which they indoctrinate iida on all things traditionally feminine like makeup nd hair so that she knows the basics should she ever wanna mess arnd with that stuff. but also they just have fun doin normal things and just include iida in on being one of the gals nd iida is,,,so happy. tsu and jirou in particular r arnd her the whole night and wow my uwus they own them the unofficial trans girl club owns my uwus-

anyway so coming out and being accepted and transitioning is going so much better than iida thought it would be. she feels so safe and happy im crying.....anyway eventually some time later iida also gets permission to visit her family during a long weekend/short holiday w/e. nd while there she shakily but steadily comes out to her fam ofc her parents r so proud (her mom’s like ‘’ive always wanted a daughter yes!!! ily tenya’’) and tensei loves her all the same nd she cries a lil bit bc damn,,,,,,shes been fearing the exact opposite reaction for months

specifically she talks to tensei abt it for a little while and mentions her particular fears abt not being good enough to carry on the name “ingenium” nd he smiles at her nd is like “i would rather no one else but my little sister to carry on the name of ingenium” and bruh shes absolutely floored

nd yea. midoriya and uraraka absolutely love love love iida shes still their absolute fav. she joins the unofficial class 1-a trans* club as well as accidentally forms the unofficial class 1-a trans girl club. we love her,,,,

but yeah thats it. this post is so fucking long but oh well. stan iida!

[antigoneblue]

Are there any lit magazines you recommend to submit to?

hey anon! took me a few days to get to this because 5th sem’s getting over right now (this is the last week before our end sem exams) and there was too much going on & i wanted to like… sit down with a clear head and get this right. 

ok, i’m gonna list out some lit mags i trust. i’m also going to tell you how i choose where to submit, so that you can choose where to send your work in based on what works best for you. this got a little long so i’m putting it under a read more.

2 things to keep in mind when submitting is the kind of work they feature (genre, quality, whatever) & the masthead. when looking at the work they feature, ask yourself: is my work suitable for this mag? do the already published works here compliment what my work has & are they works i would like my piece to be featured alongside? a lot of mags may seem lucrative because they have a huge readership, but if the work they’re looking to publish doesn’t align with the work you’re bringing out, that’s not the right choice for you. also: check the masthead, always. sometimes, magazines might feature good work, but the masthead might be problematic. look up the editors! check out their twitter/facebook/insta whatever, check that they seem to be decent people that u trust. generally just research the magazine a bit before you send in any work.

ok! that said, here, from my experience, are some magazines that i like/ that i trust. these are based on what i know of them right now, and is in no way a Fact or whatever. 

off the top of my head, i can think of 

jellyfish review (their twitter account is really lovely, like, they’re super interactive and fun and give the energy of really caring abt their contributors. also when the whole pro life thing was blowing up they did a special feature on abortion and pro-choice related stories. i love that they did that.)

honey & lime lit (not to be That person but im friends with the editor of this mag and she’s a really lovely person, your work will be in safe hands, if you’re nervous) 

homology lit (the masthead seems pretty cool, and some amazing poetry’s featured in past issues, and i have a poem in their upcoming issue and i am so excited! haha)

moonchild magazine (their EIC is an actual angel, like, i kid you not. she’s so supportive and sweet and always speaks out against abuse and bigotry and supports survivors and whatnot, i just. she makes me feel safe, ok.)

half mystic (they were the first mag i EVER submitted to, so the rejection i got really stung, lol. but after sending work out to more places and whatnot, i realised that the rejection letter they’d sent me was actually really sweet…. much more than is the norm.)

brave voices magazine (they tweeted a few days ago asking for more submissions! so they might be open for subs RIGHT NOW, go check. i love the kind of work they feature, it’s usually identity-centric or deeply personal, from what i’ve read, and like. it’s Good. i’ve never submitted to them but i plan to soon. bonus: their editor is a lovely person)

flypaper lit (i have a monthly column up here!!! as someone who’s working with them, like, with that kind of frequency - it’s really a delight. their editor is super chill and amazing and i love them, haha.)

glass poetry (never actually published here or submitted so i can’t really say much but they do feature things i love.)

ghost city press (i remember a friend from a poetry network i was in recommending them much before i actually started sending out work. everyone seems to have a good opinion of them!)

adroit journal (again, i don’t know much abt this, but one of my mutuals suggested it and was excited about them.)

pigeonholes (this one’s on my lit mags to consider submitting to list, but i actually haven’t researched them very much. i remember one of my friends had a poem in here and she was pretty happy abt the experience!)

damaged goods (again, havent done anything much with this press, but heard mostly good things abt them. i think they focus on trans people specifically.)

empty mirror (heard good things about them, and i love the vibes they give off!) 

the nasiona (if you’re into writing nonfiction, they’re a good place to consider imo) 

coffin bell magazine! (esp since it’s spooky season! idk i read ONE story off this website and it changed my life lmao) 

barren magazine (i had a poem in issue 6 i think it was??? and like. the whole experience of working with them was amazing, they consulted me over edits, we discussed things out, they were very patient with me when i messed something up, etc etc etc) 

blanket sea magazine (i love the fact that this magazine exists! they focus on disability, if i remember right) 

so!! im not sure when the submissions for these magazines are open (if theyre open now, or opening later.) nor am i 100% sure abt the criteria of them - some of them, i think, are for specific groups like poc only or trans people only or, you know, things like that. there are definitely more that i’m forgetting!!! 

im too tired to add links right now, sorry. 

there are also a few lit mags that i would advise against submitting to.

not sure of the details but there was a whole thing with anti-heroin chic defending a racist editor and when one of my mutuals drew attention to the fact that the editor was racist, they were really rude to her. i don’t know what went on exactly and it’s not my place to ask, but i wouldnt ever submit there personally. 

i had a really shitty experience with storm of blue press in which they policed my identity and intentionally misunderstood me when i said “nonbinary is a spectrum of genders, not a single monolith gender identity” and got offended by the fact that i used the word ‘woman-aligned’ to refer to my friends……..who aren’t women……….but are woman-aligned…………like………..that’s the phrase they use for themselves?? there was other stuff too (biphobia) and they harassed one of my friends + tweeted about how her manuscript was “lazy work” and not good enough or something, so. steer clear 

apparently rust + moth published a terf once and when someone brought this to their notice, they made fun of the person who spoke out about it and refused to take down the work, so….. 

arkay artists was defending a racist author who said something about blackface not being too racist / implied it was forgiveable…… she’s white so. she isn’t an authority on this. then, the mag proceeded to call one of my nonbinary friends a b*tch off their official account, which is gross & unprofessional and an act of misgendering, to top that off. 

this is all i’ve got!!! i’m in no way a pro - if you’re really interested in submitting to lit mags, twitter’s a great platform to network. i follow a lot of lit mag accounts, and that’s how i keep in the loop of what’s happening, where to submit, etc etc. 

take this with as many pinches of salt as you want -im not an authority, i might be biased, but these r just observations based off what i’ve seen, what i’ve experienced and what my friends have told me! DO UR OWN RESEARCH TOO! 

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[uhpeach]

oof personal rant about boy and relationship shit below the cut it’s way too long sorry

finally had a talk with boy last night... it started bc they are having a stoplight theme party tn where you wear green if ur single, yellow if it’s complicated, and red if ur taken and he was like “so what color are u thinking of wearing”... and i was like “green i guess bc im single”. but i said it as a joke.... and he was like... “oh well i was thinking yellow”. and i was like “ya me too i guess”... and he was like “ya idk i think most people will either be red or green so we’ll be some of the few yellow ppl which is kinda fun”. and i was like “ok. ya whatever cool”. and he was like “but i’ll wear whatever u want like if u want me to wear red i will”. and i was like “no. no pressure. yellow makes sense.” but then i was making sad girl face i guess and he was like “nooo stop with that face. you’re thinking about something what’s wrong” and then we like went innnnnn with like a convo about “us” or whatever the fuck.

anyways like the things he’s worried about when considering making us official is that he:

1. says he is an extremely jealous and controlling boyfriend? and he does not like who he is as a boyfriend so if he isnt technically a “boyfriend” he has no reason to get that way/can stop himself from being like that. which i like.... dont see at all. and like maybe he had a reason to be like that with his ex but honestly i dont do much or like get hit on so i see it as a non-issue honestly? like im too into him to like even need to be “controlled” like i genuinely want to do whatever he wants bc i just want to see him happy ? but then he said that when he sees me happy it makes him happy and when i keep crying like i have been it makes him really sad and scared that our relationship would be built on a bad foundation. and i see it as the opposite like in spite of what he has done and how he’s hurt me we’ve gotten past it and grown to know each other better and like each other a lot and im still here spending time with him so like idk we think about these things very differently i guess. 

2. he was thinking like soooo far in the future for some reason like... when i met him he was pursuing a finance degree in the business school but he like decided music was something he was really passionate about last year and since then he’s been like learning how to use like music production software and how to play piano since then. so he was saying like he doesn’t want me to see him as like a jobless bum loser when i could be with a guy has a secure upwardly mobile job making 60-70k right out of college while he’s like.... working as a DJ and practicing like music production stuff. and i was like..... what r u talking about like i don’t need you to support me? and if ur worried about how i’ll see you like i just want to see you happy i would rather see that than someone complaining about how much they hate their job and life every day bc like.... idk when you l*ve someone all you really want is to see them happy. and then i told him how i have bragged about him to people who like wish they could change majors about how he’s actually doing something he’s interested in rather than sticking with business school which he hatesss. 

(he started crying sometime during point two into point three)

3. he was worried about not being able to give me the level of attention ur supposed to give someone ur dating. like he was saying how he practices his music stuff in his free time but like when ur dating someone ur supposed to spend like all ur free time with them but i’ll have to like share that time with his music and he like doesn’t want me to feel like he has no time for me? but i was like dude i dont need you actively paying attention when we’re together like the other night i was doing my homework in his room while he practicing and i was just so stoked to be in the room with him even though we were doing our own things. and also like the people in relationships who spend allll their time with their significant others are people i get SO ANNOYED BY i was like dude... i dont want to be like any of those couples like of course i want to spend as much time as possible with you but i have other “relationships” i need to maintain that im not just gonna drop like some of my other couple friends have. like my friendships are super important to me, probably bc i have never been in a relationship so i like really do love and put a lot of focus on my friends, so if he needs time for his music and did need some private time to focus i would just spend that time maintaining my friendships because i love and want to spend time with them too? like it’s not that deep and i’ve been alone for so long im used to it.....

i think there was more but anyway he was thinking SO FAR AHEAD and asking me like what i want to do and where i want to go after graduation and im like ????? i .. dont know ??? omg ???? what does this have to do with like dating right now like are u never gonna date anyone again until ur ready to date them until marriage im ? confused? i.. legitimately was NOT thinking this far ahead ? but then he kept bringing up how like feelings fade and he like want to make sure his college friends are lifelong friends and how a breakup would make it so that’s a more difficult thing for us to be and im like i get it ? i have brought up that point to so many people like it used to be that i cared more about having him in my life forever like at least as a friend just bc i like him so much but now it’s harder to be like that bc i like him SO SO much like... idk imagining never having been official a few years down the road and just being that girl he had a “thing” with in college. bc that’s not what i want to be to him. like if we do stop liking each other i dont want to have to meet his future girlfriend or fucking wife and be like hi im olivia.. his friend from college. like just calling what we have “friendship” hurts so bad and if i had to look at someone he like loves in the future and call myself just a friend from college that would fucking kill me. like at least if we were exes i would be like hey im his friend-ex-then friend again from college. ya haha things didnt work out but i’ll always care about this guy ur lucky to have him. ya know. there’s a difference.

and all the things i was concerned about were suchhhh immediate issues like... im only not satisfied by the relationship status of like being a “thing” bc i want to actually be taken on dates..  and have someone who would be happy to like bring me coffee if im having a rough day (and like so it wouldnt be weird if i did little things like that too) and so we could like go on a trip together or like as it stands it would be weird for me to like bring him home for a few days and be like “hello family this is my good friend :) we are going to share a bed bc we are... friends :)” like you cant tell ur family about ur “thing” bc like o ur really good friends that care a lot about each other and have sex but ur not dating... like that gives parents too much to think about it’s gross.... and it would be weird for him to bring me to like his hometown to meet his friends and what not bc we are just like ... a thing? and i WANT to do that stuff like it would mean so much to me. but like you only do that with ppl ur dating and i want to be with someone who can like share their life with me and i can share mine with them if that makes sense. also u know what i think it’s fair of me to want to be able to call someone my boyfriend like. that is a word i have never gotten to use and when i like hear it in movies and tv shows and even when friends say it i feel like im being fucking stabbed. like i have never gotten to be a girlfriend and i feel like people see me as less of a person because of that, especially being in my 20s now. idk just like societal pressures are getting to me i hate being a sociology major im like super analyzing like the roles i am “supposed” to take to live up to what it is to be a woman in our society. like i have been a daughter, a friend, a coworker, a sister but i have never been a girlfriend and that is something i feel like an innate internalized NEED to experience idk like it’s just beat into you by media and peers and parents from when ur like a kid until you actually do fulfill the prescribed gender based roles... like if i am not a wife or a mother in my life i might fucking kill myself like ik roles and labels are meaningless but i NEED THEM to like give me identity and security. anyways. uh that was a lot. if u read all this and i don’t sound insane lmk!

[nobodies-png]

Biphobia warning: Can we get Larxene, Aqua, Naminé, Kairi, or Xion dealing with a "well-meaning" person telling her she should break up with her bisexual S/O because "obviously" they'll just cheat on her with a guy? And then some fluff when she comforts the reader? (My GF is bi, I'm lesbian. I've gotten this line a few times. The nerve of some people!)

yIKES - fuck those people, nonnie ! i’m sure you and your gf are lovely, ignore those d u m b comments - like mAN, SHIT LIKE THIS MAKES ME SO MAD, ITS 2019 GUYS, OPEN YOUR EYES

Larxene : 

Long story short : Larxene doesn’t deal well with people patronizing her or judging and shit talking her choices in partners. Love is a really touchy subject for her, so you can tell she’s about to get violent by the sudden rise in electricity in the air. And because she’s already summoned her weapons as a w a r n i n g, idly fiddling with them through gritted teeth.

If the person keeps up with their nonsense, Larxene won’t hesitate to pick them by the collar of their shirt, pulling them to her eye level before chewing them out with her harsh words. Who are they to insult you so freely ? What kind of shitty accusations are those ? “Well-meaning” her ass ! Larxene can tell this person is full of bullshit from miles away.

If they’re someone you don’t particulary care about or know, Larxene w i l l shock them - so you’ll have to drag her away somewhere more private before things get out of control. But even if she tells you that she’s okay, you know she’s not. Before you can even get a word out, she’s already talking, her back turned to you - trying to brush off this entire ordeal. 

“The world is full of assholes, isn’t it ?” It’s extremely hard for Larxene to be so casually affectionate or show her more vulnerable side - yes, even to you - but she’ll give you a hug after this, burying her face in the crook of your neck so you don’t see her pitiful expression. “They don’t know shit about you, I do. And I know you’d never hurt me or anyone else like that.” Larxene is fully aware you’re bisexual, so what about it ? She’s the one y o u chose to love and she’s happy with that.

Aqua :

It would be fine if the insult was directed at her - she’s mature enough to know not to reply and to be the bigger person. But this ? This disrespect is directed at you and she will not tolerate it. If you let her, Aqua would give the person a s t e r n lecture, so classy and savage they’ll be left speechless and embarrassed for saying such stupid things about you. 

But if you don’t want any confrontation, Aqua will merely give them a fake smile, say something like “Understandable. It must be hard to be so closed minded. Get well soon and have a nice day !” and lead you away from this person. To wash away the bitter taste of this encounter, Aqua would treat you to lunch - pick anything you want, it’s on her ! 

She shows no signs of being affected by any of this, but she doesn’t let go of your hand. There’s an unspoken vow between the two to pretend nothing happened, but you decide to confront Aqua about it anyway - she taught you to be open about your feelings and share them with her anytime you needed, so you want her to do the same. 

“It’s embarrassing, I should know better than to get mad. But I have to admit, I can’t stop thinking about it. You don’t deserve to hear such cruel words.” Aqua would take your hands into hers and give you the most sincere look, explaining that no matter what the world says, she’s proud and happy to be with someone wonderful like you ! She’s fought for the safety of this entire world, so she doesn’t comprehend why there’s people so hellbent on putting boundaries on how the rest should love or live.

Namine :

Namine despises confrontation, so she’ll ignore whoever is saying that to her as best as she can - either by changing topics or just pretending they don’t exist. She doesn’t want them to get into details, but she doesn’t have the courage to properly tell them to shut up and mind their own business either. If you’re with her, Namine will give you an apologetic look - she’s really sorry that she couldn’t do more for you.

In the end, the person would leave thinking they’re in the right - but at least there were no arguments or fights. The moment you two are alone, Namine would apologize over and over, fussing over all the things she could’ve done instead to defend you - it’s not okay to fight, but it’s not okay to let others insult you like that either ! Maybe she should go back and give that person an actual piece of her mind ?

You’re gonna have to stop Namine from actually doing that, convince her that you’re fine - but h o o o boy. Her face is red from all the frustration building up in her chest. Namine wants to worry about what you two are going to have for breakfast tomorrow, about how to decorate a house if you two ever live together, about the name of the future pet you might adopt - not about what strangers and outsiders think of your relationship.

She thinks it’s not fair, for you and for the rest of bisexual people in the world. How could someone say something so mean ? They don’t even know you ! Namine would pull you in for a hug, listing all the things she loves about you to remind you that you’re valid and appreciated.

Kairi :

Whoever told her that kind of bullshit is in for a wild ride. If the person who told her that seems decent enough, Kairi will patiently explain that those rumours are just a lie and that cheating isn’t inherent to any romantic or sexual orientation. That’s like saying all pitbulls are awful raging beasts. Or that all left handed people are evil. 

However, if they seem like the type of asshole with a close mind who just refuses to get properly informed, Kairi w o n ‘ t hesitate. Even a princess has her limits and those limits have been c r o s s e d the moment they talked shit about you. You kinda have to remind her to use her words instead of her fists when you see her roll her sleeves. 

Kairi grew up in a fairly accepting and safe enviroment, so she has a somewhat naive and hopeful view on the world. “We have better things to worry about than who loves who.” She wants to assume everyone is a good person, so everytime she encounters these types of people, her blood just b o i l s. Of course, that laced with her strong sense of justice can lead to her getting hurt - so you’re gonna have to drag her away before things escalate.

For the rest of the day, Kairi will latch onto you like a koala, being extra sweet with you. The last thing she wants is for you to doubt your identity because of some dumb comment. She loves you just the way that you are and no one can change her mind ! If the two of you stay strong, one day you’ll show the entire world that your love is worth fighting for.

Xion :

Xion is s o confused. Like, legitimately confused - asking the person who told her to break up with you a thousand questions. Where did they get this information ? What does it mean ? Don’t same gender and straight couples hace the same risk of being cheated on or cheating ? Doesn’t that depend on the person ? 

In the end, whoever gave her that unnecessary advice will just. Leave, because they have no actual information to back up that accusation. You’ll have to sit her down and explain what that nonsense meant - the moment she understands, you’ll see her face go red in anger. Like Namine, she’d want to find the person just to set things right, but instead, Xion would focus on never letting anyone else talk about you like that.

She immediately takes you to have some ice cream in some secluded calm spot so you two can just rant till your hearts content, joking about the situation. “I can’t tell Axel or Roxas about this. They’ll probably kill that person if we see them again!” The two of you would move on and continue with your lives !

But of course, Xion tends to overthink. So at the end of the day, before you go back home, she’ll awkwardly tell you that you’re the strongest person she knows, dealing with shit like that on a daily basis. You helped her find out her own identity and individuality as a person, so no matter what, she’ll stay by your side !