#how much i’ve written since then
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Over 3 weeks since The Bad Batch ended, and it’s felt so much longer.
#i am surprised at#how much i’ve written since then#doesn’t feel like 3 weeks#especially since now i’m writing this post#post-surgery#the bad batch ended before it#life feels so different#since then#tbb
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"as time passed, we gradually began to feel that the worst was over. we still had to heal our physical and mental wounds, but we really started to come back to life."
#don’t even know where to start!👀#(1) i finally upgraded keith's hairstyle a bit since his hair should have grown enough by now#and i really like it!!! i could not find anything suitable for a long time#(2) i really love the dynamic between keith and ida#they are like in eternal conflict but still they can always rely on each other#i don't know how good i am at showing this in my posts but that’s how it is😅#(3) the proposal!!! i’m just very happy for my babies!#unfortunately this whole situation is not the last test on their way (is it spoiler?)#but now they're just happy ❤️🩹#(4) after this accident ernest had a scar on his face which we saw on him when he first appeared on my blog 👀#(5) the next post will end the series of hospital posts and i am very happy about this#all this uncertainty weighed on me even though i knew how the situation would end#i can’t say that it will be easier for me to go on but at least i’ll be able to say goodbye to the hospital (and you too)#i think i’ve written too much here hehe#it just seemed inappropriate for me to share my thoughts under previous posts😅#the sims 4#ts4 simblr#ts4 story#the sims 4 story#along the oasis extra#keith ian stonsberg#devin barkley#ida iris stonsberg#ernest lawson#nina lawson
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look at these images that are seemingly unrelated to each other. what do you see?
#(hello alt text my new frienddddddd)#and if i tried to grasp at straws in this kinda way for any other ship i’d be rightfully shipped off to the closest therapist’s office#(didnt include the novels bc the way they’re written there *could* be seen as legit reasons to ship them so i’ll at least give ‘em that)#(like. ik it’s a bit of a stretch… especially since yujiro literally slapped some sense back into her in the nonfan mv chapter)#(but what i’ve seen of the heroiku novel (rip asuka) may seem to be written with that certain ship in mind. so. i’ll give them that)#these are just the most bizzare of the ‘yhy proof’ that i’ve seen lately. so. y’know. they’re just the ones that stick out to me#and that’s all i’ll say on the matter. i was gonna just leave it at my previous post but#it’s just. seeing someone say that the mv was *not* nghy (and yhy instead) was kind of too much. y’know.#yeah. i want everyone on hwtwt to touch grass. except ft4twt bc they’re cool.#like… man. i can’t believe there are people who claim to be hiyori fans only to say ‘i dont care if hiyori is happy. i want *yhy canon*’#why can’t you just be happy for her and her childhood friend romance? why do you want an idol to date his manager so badly?#ngl im wondering if it’s like a sunk-cost fallacy for some of them… considering how many times i’ve seen ‘koiiro’ and ‘8 years’ being said#but oh welllllllll. either way nghy canon. end of story.
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Okay I'll bite. What happened in this guy's childhood to make him go to the extensive body-destroying lengths to bring his mom back??
-Sky Floor
His father left and his mother was wonderful to Edward and his brother, they loved her very much. But in the 2003 version, she died, possibly from being heartbroken over Edward’s father leaving. She was sick for days and finally passed away. In the brotherhood version it was definitely an illness that passed around Risembool (where Edward lived) and his mother caught it and she died. He and his brother missed her and Edward wanted nothing more than to bring his mother back. He thought he would use alchemy to do it, but human transmutation is very illegal because of how dangerous it is. Alchemy is dependent on equivalent exchange, and it’s practically impossible to bring someone back to life. So Ed lost his leg, and Alphonse lost his entire body. Ed couldn’t lose his little brother so he connected Al’s soul to a suit of armor, losing his arm in the process.
Oh but don’t worry! His life gets so much worse :)
#there’s two versions of this show#there’s 2003 that was following the manga but caught up too quickly so it did its own thing#and brotherhood that honestly didn’t follow the manga in the beginning but DID especially in the end#2003 is MUCH darker than brotherhood#brotherhood is dark but not as much as 2003 so if you want a not so dark anime with a definite happy ending then brotherhood is for you#if you’re fine with a dark anime with a bittersweet ending and a very messy film at the end. then 2003 works too#I personally love both#but they are VERY very different from each other lol#like it’s funny at how vastly different they are#but regardless this show is amazing. both versions have a great story#beautiful brotherhood#and well written characters#like don’t get me started on the female characters they are ALL amazing#especially in brotherhood#anyways I’m done I hope that told you enough#now it has been a hot second since I’ve seen 2003 and brotherhood so the death of their mother may be different than what I said#but oh well#today is a special holiday for fma enjoyers btw#asks
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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does anyone else feel like they need to Make Fan Content That Is Also Good And Interesting in order to make/keep internet friends so as to be worth other people’s time
#the internet is one big networking tool#genuine question because like. i know it’s unhealthy but i also feel like that’s kind of the economy created by the internet#i’m not advocating it and i’m also not trying to be self-deprecating#i was never great at art and i haven’t posted anything i’ve written in like 5 years#like for example. i put off making a dragon age blog for a while bc i don’t Do anything. even now that ive made it i feel like i don’t have#a leg to stand on to talk to my mutuals. we are always competing for attention on the internet#i’ve known a few people where like. i thought we were actual friends and not just fandom colleagues but i always felt like i had fo Prove I#Was Talented to keep them interested and like. again not healthy but i’m wondering how common that is#maybe that is just fandom colleague behavior and i misread the situation but uh#also to be clear i’m not trying to like. blame anyone or victimize myself#i’m mostly curious because i have seen people talk about how making friends on the internet is so much easier and i’m wondering#where that idea came from. bc i still think it’s hard. but i wonder if it’s easier if you’re one already posting Original And Interesting#Content. i mostly just make memes and meta at this point and it doesn’t get a lot of attention. which is fine#i’ve just found it markedly harder to meet people since i switched tacks#one of the reasons i burned out tbh. among other things. i’ve been picking writing up again but i don’t post anymore#honestly realizing this has probably bitten me in the ass before bc i’ve had friends who share stuff they’re proud of and i don’t jump on it#bc to me i’m trying to be like ‘you don’t have to prove yourself to me. i like you as a person’#but probably comes off like ‘i don’t care about the things you care about’. hm#mine
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10k is actually a lot of words to edit. That’s like 40 book pages which is like a tenth of a big book. And I have so many 10ks to write for this project. More than ten for sure
#there’s another ep I’m working on that’s like almost 20k!!!#granted that’s like more of a finale double episode type Thing#but yeah wow#realy puts it in perspective that I’m trying to write a whole book series at once#also puts it in perspective that since February I’ve written… idk how much. lots tho. on top of a full time job#could a depressed person make this!#misc
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saw legally blonde again the other night so once again thinking about the legally blonde yolly au I want to write one day <3
-polly is elle woods and yann is emmett forrest, obviously
-the musical has them so perfectly set up as bewildered by each other but drawn together nonetheless and then fierce, fierce friends who would do anything for each other and support each other unconditionally
-yann being bi would also be giving polly advice on how to get her ex back and what usually works with him for guys etc (or maybe she has an ex girlfriend???? something to think about)
-polly finding herself and her power through the law but also her deep rooted (but previously more subconscious) desire to help people and make the world a better place, especially for those who are marginalised in society
-they’d both befriend karl, craig, rose, albus and scorpius along the way!!! the gang found family core
-something funny to me about turning yann fredericks into mr “I don’t go to parties a lot, not good use of the time that I’ve got” ….there’s probably a scene where they do end up at a party together and polly is shocked by how hot and competent at it all he is and he’s like ‘I said I don’t go a lot, not that I don’t go at all’
-the bend and snap / gay or european turns into both yann and polly performing the bend and snap in front of the witness to test if he’s gay and when he’s only paying attention to yann, yann is both smug and proud of polly’s instincts, he probably makes some comment about how he can’t comprehend people Not looking at her
-it’s the genuine friends to lovers of it all!! they are obsessed with each other, they become each others closest and fiercest friend and they both know that there’s something more there but their friendship has become SO important they’re worried about compromising it (also yann thinks she’s still invested in getting her ex back and is trying to be supportive)
-something something polly chapman proposing to yann fredericks just feels deeply right and real
#yann and polly#yolly#yann fredericks#polly chapman#I’m very aware of the lack of nuance legally blonde provides for sexuality bc it was written in 2007 etc etc#but also yann and polly are both bisexual and much more open minded!!!#idk if I was going to write it I’d investigate all of that more fully but as it is I’ve had three glasses of wine and I fuxking love yolly#I always forget how much I love legally blonde and just how yolly Elle and Emmett are#but this production had the loveliest most androgynous emmett forrest ever and I was just FLOODED with the yolly of it all#yann fredericks androgynous king!!!!!#obviously there’s a lot more going on in legally blonde and more conflict and issues but again: wine#I’ve had this burning in the back of my mind since at least 2018 and the London cast of that time were on board soooo!!!#cursed child#me i guess#ccsquad#kat talks shit for an audience of one#(me)
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You ever look at a post and think to yourself that this is the third time now that that specific person’s post feels suspiciously like a subtweet? What a fun feeling to have! Definitely not making me want to scream right now :)
#make it 4 I guess#nice self report btw how did you know I was talking about you?#i’ve made posts about at least five fandoms and one of them is STAR WARS so how did you know it was about you?#unless you know I had valid reason to suspect it#since I know you’ve seen this already now:#imagine subtweeting your friend#real nice thing to do#because they should know how this will come across#i dont even care that its probably not a subtweet#if you dont wanna upset people how about you think twice before posting huh?#yes this is the second time I’m subtweeting someone which is hypocritical of me#and I hate it#but I can’t prove anything so like what am I supposed to do here?#so call me a hypocrite#if you don’t wanna be subtweeted then dont fucking subtweet people#it’s really not that hard#i don’t care whether it was about me or not#it was about SOMEONE#and those tags sure are specific#they sure do remind me of some fun little details I’ve written into my stories#as much as I hope they’ll miss this post#i’m kind of hoping they’ll see it#and know it’s about them#how do you like being subtweeted huh? not so fun on the other side is it?
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nothing more frustrating than wanting to write but being entirely unable of writing something good and cohesive 🫠
#feel like i’ve completely forgotten how to write#something actually good#i’ve only written two paragraphs in four hours#and it’s making me wanna sob#i hate this so fucking much#it’s exactly a month since i last posted cr tomorrow#and it’s making me even more frustrated#im sorry im the absolute worse
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genuinely how do you guys sit down and just. write
#how do u guys motivate yourselves#i’ve genuinely had 0 drive for anything that brings me joy but especially writing#i don’t think i’ve rlly written anything since the spiderman microfic#so almost a month :/ jesus christ#the executive disfunction has been brutal#hopefully with the return of microfic prompts in december i can slowly get back into it#just :/ pretty discouraged :/#okay goodnight i’ve spiralled too much this week#i don’t need another one
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trying to beat the lume-nosity is ia allegations with my own two fists accompanied with a batminton racket as if that’s the brightest idea
#☁�� lume speaks#this blog is pretty dead#we’re so back guys (i think)#i most DEFINITELY forgot how to write. oh no.#it’s almost a year since i’ve written something#I’M SO SORRY AAAANMSDMSIJF#your girl has latched onto other hobbies as of late that they forgot how to write#and life has been a brat as of late it’s asking too much of me 😒#like i said before: we’ll get the next gta game + zyox’s elden ring gameplay before i write something#if i do…take a huge shot of juice#i’m pretty good at badminton btw don’t test me
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so… ao3 year in review, huh! this was a good year for me for writing, mcyt content really sparked my brain and i wrote FAR more than i had in the last few years. this post is gonna be mostly mcyt fic, hence why it’s here, but there’s a bit of blaseball left too.
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for-written for the boston flowers fic exchange commemorating the return of blaseball (heh….), fluff about the flowers being friends and sharing photographs
space’s blaseball poetry collection-exactly what it says on the tin! i joined my school’s poetry club last fall and wrote a lot of poetry about blaseball in that time. (i’ve written a bit of mcyt poetry too, maybe i’ll post that someday)
stop me if you’ve heard this all before-empires s2 cannon divergence where pix is the only survivor of the other universe blood sausage was in and he gets brought to season 2. i swear to god this will be done in the new year, i promise.
would you mind if i tried to take a pass at it?-my longest fic to date and the fic i made this account for in the first place so i could post shipping and people wouldn’t be weird. you all should thank wither husbands for my presence in your life (/j)
just put your sweet lips on my lips-really living up to my ao3 username on this one with a second fluffy wither husbands fic, this time with an established relationship!
i still taste you on my lips, lovely bitter water-i intended for this to be SLIGHTLY cannon divergent and then realized i’d made up an entire piece of empires lore in my head by accident. read this one it’s good.
but when it comes to the end, you’re just the same as them-clock duo are messy as hell and i love that for them. if you could bash someone’s head in with a clock in minecraft impulse would’ve made this fic cannon by now.
men are fools, oh, men are frail-one of my favorites this year about martyn, the end of liml, and misleading prizes. very excited to write more treebark for the title exchange.
she says i’m spread thin, but baby, i’m just restless-deceit had me by a chokehold for a month and i still really like this HOWEVER legundo follows me on tumblr and vaguely implied in his end of the year stream that he reads at least some fanfiction. terrifying.
never forget number 46-another one of my favorites this year, partially because it’s so deeply self indulgent and partially cause it’s GOOD. read my blaseball au even if you don’t know anything about blaseball come closer i promise.
how to rest-the first in the perpetuity/secret life crossover series inspired by @wooshofficial and @betweenlands ‘s ghost fics that wasn’t supposed to become a series. lmao. the third installment will be here shortly.
it’s not something that you put to bed-the second installment in this series and the last of my top 3 fics this year. something about jimmy and chrys’ personalities were so fun to write together and allowed me to play in a very interesting space with him.
so what’s in store for next year? probably a lot of stuff that i don’t know of yet! but definitely on the docket:
blaseball winter exchange fic (will be going on main ao3 and blaseball side blog if you’re interested)
whatever fic(s) i write for treebark title swap (hoping to write at least two!)
second chapter of “stop me” i SWEAR
more blaseball au! i’ve got so many ideas floating around :)
and a million other things i’ve got ideas for that may or may not see the light of day, who knows!
happy new year, everyone!
#space rambles#my writing#good year for writing for me oh man#i didn’t even realize how much i’d written until i went to compile this#like i’ve had my main ao3 since 2018#and it’s only got a few more works than my mcyt ao3 that i made a few months into this year#and this isn’t even including any ficlets i wrote on here! good year!
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forever wishing sam fender would unrelease dead boys
#it’s like the moment I get a glimmer of hope for my hometown it reminds me of how awful it is#I feel like I’m screaming underwater at people like there’s something actually insidious about that town#and I’ve BEEN saying it and it keeps getting written off as youthful angst#bc of COURSE you hate your hometown! everyone hates their hometown!#but now I’m going to another funeral for a boy in my year and it’s another suicide and I don’t even know him#i havent seen him since primary school I have no right to be so upset by this#but I’m just trawling his ig bc he looks the same#he looks the exact same and he hung himself. he was twenty#and ofc he’s connected to my family bc everyone is in that fucking town hes like a v distant cousin#so we know the news first like so many of his friends are out having a nice night rn#and I’m here with this knowledge despite not knowing him. like tomorrow someone is going to find out their best mate killed himself#the police are literally still at his house and my mum is telling me she loves me because it’s ALWAYS the boys in my year group#like off the top of my head alone bc i KNOW it’s more ive already lost six boys in my year and I’m 20#how many kids have to die before my hometown stops being such a shithole#sorry for the vent post i dont even know why this has gutted me so much#maybe bc the only memory i have of this boy is between the ages of 5-11 so I literally ONLY know him as a child#like he was so happy I can only remember him smiling and just. what went so wrong after that? he had spiky hair and gap teeth#and now I’ve been told that he hung himself and I just#god. i don’t even know anymore#I’ll never forgive that town#hella goes home
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Re ur tags about worrying about having the perfect snippet for wip Wednesday/weekend: 1. Totally absolutely feel that, but 2. I literally posted a snippet the other day and realized I had straight up written the scene wrong based on my outline and realized I was gonna have to rewrite that but literally a minute after hitting post. Which DID feel very shitty, except then I realized that if the fic changes between the snippets I write and what actually gets posted, that means people get a glimpse into what some of the editing/revising process entails, which I also think is really cool!
Anyway, obviously it's still hard and scary to put raw/unfinished writing up on the internet for everyone to see, but at least for me I know I'm never expecting polished sentences from wip snippets, and part of what I enjoy about then is getting to see people in the process of creation, which is always gonna be a little messy!
(about my tags on this post)
first of all thank you so much for this because I got in my head about it all, like ridiculously so and this helped a lot!
I’m sorry about the scene you had to rewrite that’s annoying but you’re so right, seeing other peoples process and what they post for wip stuff vs finished fics is so interesting, like actually love seeing that
that’s something I’ve been scared off because some of the fics are so messy and discombobulated right now I’m not sure if anything will stay the same. But like you I don’t except anything polished or like a special scene from wip wednesday/weekends I’m just excited about people writing in general and I do love seeing the small little glances whatever they are. I think I just need to remember that these aren’t like previews or supposed to reflect the entire fic but literally just motivation
#thank you thank you thank you <3#this genuinely was so great to get <3#got told I was getting too in my head about this yesterday too and like yeah#I’m gonna calm down about it and just post what I have- tomorrow probably though bc it’s late and yeah#i just want to give something good for anyone who sent an ask but again not why they sent an ask and not what this is about !#also I get super nervous about sharing unfinished things in general and that caught up to me#<- I’m being very negative now but genuinely I’ve written so much in the past 3 days because of this and made a lot of progress after now#not***#working on any WIPs since April so this has been great for me#also just felt like whatever I posted needed to have the perfect vibes for how I summarized the story but like …no? ?#like for example the hand holding one is somewhere else entirly right now so#idk idk it’s good now tho I’m good about it again#amusingdisplacement#ask
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Do you think that you’ll do a short story or something about movie shadow and crew? I ask because I like your writing and art
Aww! Thank you, Darlin’! I really appreciate this!❤️✨
I’ve got… three SCU stories in my Google drive that I want to finish writing. However, I’m afraid that I don’t have a whole lot time due to work commitments and running my other blog. I’m sure that I’ll be able to get one of them done to share sometime this year. I would love to share more content here!
#mystery anon#off topic#I’ve got two written stories and one four page comic I wanna do.#Since I’m doing my Sonic Boom AU now I don’t know how much od the SCU story I’ll be able to get done
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