#how many ways can i tag this. SPOILERS AHOY.

[crimeronan]

the silt verses season 3 + dying words.

brother philly:

adjudicator cross:

carson:

rane:

val:

shrue:

hayward:

faulkner:

carpenter:

.....and finally, a bonus.

our final girl.

paige:

[aceofwhump]

Hello ace! Do you have any murdoch mysteries fic recs?

Hi! Yeah I've got a few for you! This is a mix of Murdoch whump, Watts whump, and George whump.

The Butterfly Effect by JeannieMac Summary: A brief (very brief!) episode tag for "Murdochophobia" (7.06). William, Julia, the butterflies.

Life in the Balance by meridian_rose (meridianrose) Summary: AU set during 11x09, "The Talking Dead". Agnes succeeds in poisoning Watts, leaving him fighting for his life and George beside himself with worry.

Bloodlust II by Voltaire63 Summary: A figure from Murdoch's past turns up to stalk the detective.

Side Window by Voltaire63 Summary: While recuperating, Murdoch witnesses something he was not meant to see.

The Rest of Our Lives by Voltaire63 Summary: An alternate view of Julia telling William about the threat from Gillies, after 714.

Going Forward by Voltaire63 Summary: One shot. Next scene in Last Train To Kingston, 709.

As I was losing him - Murdoch Ahoy by Natmuread Summary: Julia's point of view of William drowning in Murdoch Ahoy (season 7). Don't read if you haven't seen that episode. ONE SHOT.

Trials & Tribulations by Sask Summary: Set after the end of Season 6 - James Gillies' trial approaches, but on the way to the court house Detective Murdoch is abducted. Can Gillies be behind it, even from behind bars?

Oh, Susannah by Voltaire63 Summary: Will the Murdochs finally start a family? Takes place a few months after The Murdochs Give a Party

Wild, Wild Yukon by Red Warrior Summary: Five months have gone by without any news from William Murdoch. Thomas Brackenreid, George Crabtree and Julia Ogden decide to travel to Yukon to find the detective by themselves and, they hope, bring him back to Toronto. WM/JO - Rating may go up.

Realizations by MysterMurdochFan Summary: Murdoch and Brackenreid are involved in an accident

My Soul To Take by Demosthenes23 Summary: Murdoch succumbs to a mysterious illness and faces his most sinister threat yet. *Volume I of the alternate timeline series.*

Home Again Soon by TheLastSaskDragonRider Summary: Watts is kidnapped. (takes place between season 13/14, no season 14 spoilers)

It's Not Time by GoodMorningMoon Summary: Spoilers from 16x11, "D.O.A." (the black and white film noir episode). Missing scenes as Murdoch recovers from a nasty poison.

we're going down (six underground) by fluffier432 Summary: It had been a number of days already (George had lost count just how many), and he was no closer to escaping the clutch of his kidnapper. Maybe slightly, if his healing foot counted, but that wouldn’t be much use if he couldn’t unlock the front door to run away. Even if he could pick the lock, there would be no time before Amelia caught up to him, and that would only be if he could get past her in the first place. She had him seated at the desk, not tied down as she believed his foot still could not bear his weight (and it nearly couldn’t), as she lay on the bed between him and the bedroom door. Nobody had come to rescue him yet, which felt out of character for the quick-acting Murdoch. He supposed perhaps they hadn’t even discovered he was missing at all; he was on a book tour, after all, it’s not like his absence at work would be considered unusual. Whumptober 2022 Day 5: Blood Loss/Running Out Of Air/Hypothermia

S-O-S by Horatio13 Summary: He was pinned in a pretty tight pocket, but not tight enough that it was impossible to breathe. Uncomfortably difficult, yes, but definitely possible. His ears were ringing. Something sharp was stabbing in his thigh. He couldn’t feel his fingers on his right hand, but he couldn’t see enough of them to figure out what the problem was. He could feel something wet and sticky starting to pool underneath his legs and stomach. Well, thought George numbly. This is fun.

Whumping the Bugalugs Series by Horatio13 Summary: Slaps the top of George's helmet This bad boy can fit SO much pain!

The Lady and the Arrow by GoodMorningMoon Summary: A crossbow bolt to the gut is quite a blow no matter how fit you are. Murdoch recovers from the events of 1x11, "Bad Medicine."

Steady On by GoodMorningMoon Summary: After the ambush at the church, only a select few know George Crabtree is still alive. Cross-posted to ff.net.

Out of the Woods by GoodMorningMoon Summary: Filling a gap in S8E11, "All That Glitters." How did George get a wounded Murdoch home from Haileybury?

The Lady and the Arrow by GoodMorningMoon Summary: A crossbow bolt to the gut is quite a blow no matter how fit you are. Murdoch recovers from the events of 1x11, "Bad Medicine."

Mr. Crabtree's Insistence by GoodMorningMoon Summary: Missing scene from (and spoilers for) 15x22, "Sweet Amelia." Effie seeks help for George after a deeply traumatic experience.

[aelaer]

Sooo that What If episode huh. I'd love to hear what you think of the episode. Do you think that Stephen is capable of doing what he did, even after being warned by his own self?

Oh my goodness. Oh do I have so many thoughts.

For those who don't have the tag up, this post definitely contains What If Episode 4 spoilers. So. Yeah. Spoilers ahoy!

I was optimistic for episode 4 after the Watcher's actor, Jeffrey Wright, said it was his favorite episode. And now that I've seen it, it's easy to see why.

I thought the episode was an absolute masterpiece. It's a modern Greek tragedy, where a powerful person through their hubris suffers the greatest of falls. You don't see this trope often anymore in modern media; either the stakes in a drama are more of a modern tragedy where impulse and/or bad luck rather than hubris cause the fall, or in stories where a loss would cause utter devastation, the properties are in genres like superhero stories that cannot afford to make such risks due to the money involved in producing a story like that. Infinity War was adjacent to it, but everyone knew it would be reversed in some manner with the next film - and it wasn't the story of one protagonist like Greek tragedies tend to be.

That Marvel can afford to make such risks on the smaller screen is fantastic for modern storytelling. Tragedy is a major, major genre that has an important part in human history and as part of the human condition explored in fiction. That it's largely been lost in popular media and modern stories is a shame - you really have to seek it out in smaller projects to find it these days.

But you're not here to listen to me ramble about thematics. You're here for Stephen.

Stephen's greatest flaw in the MCU is his hubris, hands down. I mentioned this trait in my posts refuting the comments claiming he was OOC to do something reckless. His belief that he is good enough to do basically anything he sets his mind to is a lesson he has to learn in humility -- and in the MCU, he hasn't quite gotten there.

After all, in both the main MCU and What If, Stephen does what he is explicitly told not to do with the Time Stone and manages to find a way to prevent the world from being consumed by Dormammu with that strategy. In the MCU, he's told to move on from fixing his hands and his act in not following that advice leads him to mystical powers. It's only when he learns the lesson that it's not about him that his need to put his need to fix his hands first and foremost finally takes a back seat.

In What If, he doesn't get that lesson. He is motivated by a stronger grief, of lost love. In this universe the two are still clearly in a good relationship and still seem to be together. Stephen had let go of Christine already in the MCU as a romantic interest, and had moved on. In What If, that relationship was ripped from him and proved to be a motivator to prevent it. O'Bengh hit the nail on the head that people will suffer a good deal more for someone they love rather than for something strictly for themselves.

And by the time the Ancient One was able to pinpoint a moment to speak with him when he wasn't immediately reverting time back, he had tried to save Christine god knows how many times. Dozens? Hundreds? In other words, he was already going down the obsessive path of needing to prove he could fix it.

Then time comes into play. It's mentioned a couple times in the episode that Strange Supreme spent centuries curating his power. That is a long time for a person to be mostly alone with their thoughts. So combine this with experiencing a loved one's death repeatedly and you have the makings of a broken man who will heed no warning, no matter who says it.

Unbroken Stephen, in contrast, didn't start the spiral of seeing Christine die over and over and over -- and then centuries with that grief and little resistance to his plans. Without all of that, as well as proof of the world breaking, he was able to listen to his mentor and more or less immediately reject the possibility of bringing back Christine without breaking the world, even though it hurts him.

What was one of the most interesting moments in the episode was how angry Strange Supreme became when Stephen told him that reality was breaking. He yelled at him not to lie to him and his shape contorted. Strange had been feeding himself the delusion that he could fix everything and it would all be fine for so long that he couldn't handle being told that reality was already breaking.

And that delusion he told himself until it was the only truth in his mind broke the world.

The fall is the most powerful part of the classic tragedy. You as a member of the audience know that everything will end badly the way it is going, yet despite that knowledge, the fall is still painful to watch, even if it was their own actions that caused it. You still feel for the protagonist because, no matter their greatness and power, they are still so very very human.

And the terrible fall makes this episode a triumph in storytelling.

[redstaratmorning]

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - Astarion

Ahoy there me hearties! It is time to embark on yet another long voyage into the seas of discovery and character exploration, to fill in the details of the blank map with speculation and musings alongside the occasional sea serpent drawing! Tonight we are once more focused on Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3, and we set sail with navigation logs that include Scents And Sensibilities, or more specifically how both taste and smell might impact Astarion as a vampire and his perception of the world. The second major topic of speculation would be the one that gave this post its title: amnesia possibilities with speculations on the influence of torture and starvation for induced memory loss. This is of course all speculation based on early access content, so beware of spoilers upon the horizon! Content warnings include discussion of food items, consumption of food, consumption of rotting food, graphic descriptions, maggots, insects, emetophobia, vampirism, blood, dark backstories, abuse, torture, horror, and other themes typical of the Baldur’s Gate 3 setting. Spoilers for both Baldur’s Gate 3 and some spoilers for Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Amnesia: Justine included. Google story details of the Amnesia series at your own risk, these tags are intended to be reflective solely of mentioned elements in this essay, not of all potentially disturbing content in those games.

So with the starting fact of how closely the senses of taste and smell are in real life, what does this mean for Astarion and other vampires in DND when it comes to how things smell versus how they taste? Referencing another of Pjenn’s fine posts regarding everyone’s favorite local vampire spawn, Astarion has a line regarding consuming a treacle tart from Auntie Ethel’s cottage: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [click here for a link to said post]  Now this could just be because Auntie Ethel is a hag and cooks horrible food, and according to tumblr there are poisonous apples to be found at her place as well. [Alas no post citation to confirm the poisonous apples.] If Astarion’s reaction isn’t due to Ethel being a terrible cook, and is more to do with the fact that he’s a vampire, then that’s a horse of a different color. Presumably, through speculation based on his surprise and lack of disgust prior to consumption of foodstuffs, standard humanoid foods likely still smell or at least smell similar to how they used to smell to him when he was alive. An apple still smells like an apple, as it were. It may just be that instead of Astarion feeling hunger at the smell of an apple, it might be more akin to smelling pleasant like apple-scented perfume or such though for him...curiously, that would suggest that he did not try or more likely could not try to eat anything of the sort under Cazador’s rule. On that note, it would be a certain flavor of tragedy for regular humanoid foods to still smell appetizing and edible to Astarion but taste like ash in his mouth, or worse. But how does food fit for vampires smell to Astarion? Namely, blood, of course. Though one might wonder at rare steak or other cuts of meat still bloody to the taste—could he eat beef tartare and enjoy it, for example? Sashimi or other raw seafood? That’s straying into headcanon territory though. Back on topic, in the one camp scene where everyone is feeling ill with the beginning sensations of ceremorphosis, he mentions “I can smell the blood in your mouth” on one dialogue branch. It could be that the two are standing awfully close together while discussing matters, and/or the MC’s bleeding a pretty significant amount and the scent is quite noticeable, or Astarion’s got a pretty keen sense of smell, or a combination of the above. It probably smells pretty good if it tastes as good as Astarion’s reactions and comments would strongly suggest, and if we’re going to go wild with fun fantastical interpretations, I’d put forth the idea of Astarion being able to smell the difference between different people’s (or animals’) blood at close range. If Larian puts the following datamined not-present-in-game-yet scene in, the former idea would tie in very nicely with how Astarion speculates on how the different companions’ blood might taste, from this datamined text post once again kindly provided by Pjenn. [click here for text post link, bottommost “tastingparty” section] Transcription of some of the possible lines in question (not in the game at time of writing, and possibly may not appear in the final game): “Take Gale, for example. He strikes me as someone whose blood is rich, refined like a well-aged brandy.” “Take Wyll, for example. A man of the people, very palatable, like a sweet cider.” Above lines chosen for their more descriptive wording, thus why the other party members (both current and future as of this time of writing) are not added in the above examples. Astarion is quite colorful in his descriptions of how he thinks some of the companions’ blood would taste, based off of their personalities. So what does everyone’s various MCs’ blood taste like? There could be delightful variety based on the details of the various MCs’ personalities and personal life histories, I’ve seen some explorations on the dash here and there which is delightful, and I’d shan’t say no to seeing more. It is a beautiful opportunity for character exploration regarding the MC, Astarion’s perception of them, the reality of who they are (and perhaps Astarion shifting said perception of them), and all around a great potential moment to have some fun writing descriptive prose if one is so inclined. One internet search later, I will say that it appears that reddit and other google search sources do seem to suggest that in real life the blood from various different species of animals looks and tastes different from one another, even without going into factors such as age and health’s impact on blood. If we as normal humans are able to tell the difference in that, it seems reasonable to think Astarion would be able to do that and more with supernatural augmentation as the basis for that line of thinking. What do people smell like to him? Different from one another one might suppose. Is that part of what informs his imaginings and wonderings about how their companions’ blood might taste? Individuals tend to smell unique to some degree, due to body chemistry among other factors. One would expect blood to be a factor in that, seeing as that’s how many hormones and such get sent about the circulatory system—which might mean Astarion (and our potential future weregnome companion) may have more of a time having to deal with the whole party foregoing soap for better or for worse, unless Gale or Shadowheart have a Summon/Conjure Soap spell, or perhaps the MC is a ranger who can find a soap plant. Not a great time to have a sensitive nose potentially, though foregoing soap and thus additional layered scents like floral infusions and such might be beneficial. One can only imagine hunting might turn out better for the entire party’s dinner-scrounging efforts by not alerting the local wildlife that there’s someone about who smells like a potpourri bowl...though that’s another idea, does Astarion volunteer to go hunting moreso for the party in order to be able to drain blood from the kills? One would bleed and gut a carcass anyway as part of the processing, so who would know if he drank it dry versus bled it out with a knife from a tree? Moving on though, imagine what it must’ve been like the first time after he rose up from being turned and he smelled another living person’s blood, only to feel his mouth suddenly start watering. Was he confused? Repulsed? Horrified? Startled, but accepting? There’s potential ripe for the picking to interpret that in any number of ways, including conflicted and complicated in multiple directions all at once, which his actions and emotional depictions might suggest so far in early access. Imagine the torment of being ravenous every night—and I am personally impressed that Astarion actually can keep his mental faculties and presentation together well enough to seduce someone given potential speculation of his physical state,—and knowing only a meager portion of the most putrid, rotting rat flesh awaited him back at Cazador’s mansion, while he had to interact and seduce with people who smelled just so good to his vampiric senses. Consider the added twist of the knife in Cazador’s torment of Astarion with the fact that one can consider saliva to be filtered blood—if one headcanons Astarion as actually being quite physical with his seduction up to and including kissing of any kind. Consider also, the fact that if Astarion has shared a kiss with one of the unfortunate victims-to-be, he might have more of an idea of what they might taste like but must also now sit and SMELL their fresh-spilled blood right from the vein, right there in front of him, and watch while Cazador enjoys his own supper, while being forced to down a disgusting rotting carcass under threat of punishment. [in-post content warning: Graphic description of rotting dead rat carcass, food, maggots, etc in the next paragraph] Did Astarion throw up the first several times? Cazador would’ve surely punished him for so “rudely” rejecting a dinner all set out especially for Astarion and everything. To get to the point where one can consume let alone look at and smell a plate of rotting food,—specifically a dead rat with the fur still attached, the guts bloating up and putrifying from within, that very well might have live, wriggling maggots in it,—and not vomit? It must be one hell of a potent cocktail mix between primal hunger-driven desperation and fear of punishment applied over a prolonged period of time for Astarion to actually be able to consume that, let alone look upon it. This essay by the by will not be doing any in-depth exploration of the overarching situation relating to the victims’ point of view, as I feel that’s been implied in previous meta posts by both myself and others on Astarion, in the “Clearly The Other Victims Have It Bad Too And No One Deserves To Suffer Cazador” thread of implications.  We are however acknowledging that all of this experience for everyone else, aside from Cazador, is Fucked Up And Very Very Bad. Continuing past acknowledgements of the large moral cluster of ideas over yonder, let us move forward into the “present” time when Astarion has joined the party, and no one is as of yet aware that he is a vampire. Consider the scenario where he can smell their individual scents, but it’s nothing he hasn’t handled before, even if he seems to be...curiously free of the immediate need to get back to Cazador right away, while still wrapping his head around this bizarre new reality of walking in the sun. The inescapable reality of how different everything looks bathed in the all encompassing colors of sunlight, compared to moonlight and lantern light. Be it the blinding yellow, white, and blue of the noon time sun, or the violent golds, oranges, reds clashing against the violently deep blue shadows of night’s approach during the fall of twilight, or the brilliant and mellow pale grandeur of all the world’s color coming to life as the dawn breaks forth...it has been so long since last he saw any of that. Do you think he sat up specifically to watch that first dawn, while the other companions slept? It’s a beautiful thought. But I would follow that with the unfortunate potential consideration that he is starving—and when hunger eats away at one’s mind for long enough and in a demanding enough fashion, it can be remarkably difficult for a person to feel much of anything save very faint echoes of emotions or on the other extreme end only the strongest emotions, and more often than not those emotions are very likely to be the negative ones. Just about nobody’s happy when they’re starving after all. Astarion may very well feel awe at seeing the dawn again, but how deep does that feeling go, when instinct is screaming and gnawing at his very bones to insist that he is hungry? Famished. Starving. Appreciation for beauty is a privilege that is hard to enjoy at all in any degree of depth when the basic needs are wailing inside one’s head so loudly.  And he can smell his companions’ blood, even when they’re not bleeding. He has also smelled their blood spill out into the open air too, during fighting. How does that eat at him, how does that sharpen his appetite so? Does it make his stomach twist in pain to smell what his senses are clamoring for and labeling as food so close, so near, as he slowly loses his mind waiting all day for the party to break camp so he can try to slip away and hunt? Does he catch anything? He does find some animals canonically in some encounters, but there is no guarantee he will find enough without expending strenuous effort, assuming he finds anything at all on a given night. And his luck does run out eventually it would seem. One night he just doesn’t have any reserves left in him to go hunt down another animal, to take another gamble that’s stacked even higher against him with how badly off he is. Does he feel an uncomfortable chill set in, cooling his blood and rendering his flesh even colder than his normally low body temperature standards as his undead form slips just a little bit closer to a semblance of true death, whether or not he can starve to death as a vampire? Do his hands shake? Can he think at all as thoughts fade in and out from hunger-induced weakness? Can he think through the haze of sensation and awareness if he breathes in through his nose, his open mouth, inhaling a lungful of the smell and taste of living blood right there? The smells that he’s grown familiar with over these last few days? The companion origin for Astarion definitely seems to spin it towards needing to know if he can resist Cazador’s orders now, but consider this thought: imagine the progression of realization that Astarion might have as he considers the idea that he could resist Cazador’s rules, with the lack of magical-compulsion to return to Cazador’s side right away. That if Astarion himself is no longer bound by those supernatural, unyielding, magically-enforced laws, he can also drink the blood of thinking creatures. He can drink the blood of people. He can drink the blood that he’s been smelling the enticing scents of this entire time. The blood that is right. There. And he is starving. Imagine how that must feel, that pupil-dilating moment of realization as muscles tense and the next breath comes in as a sharp inhale at the instantaneous, primal understanding that you can have food, real food, good food, right then and there when you feel like you’re dying for something, anything to stop the hunger from eating you alive from the inside out. And all you have to do, is take it. Humans in real life can potentially have very predatory responses to hunger at times, especially when it comes to hunting down prey animals, and when it comes to spotting an easy meal when one is working on empty reserves. Imagine how that can scale up for a vampire...and for Astarion, this is the first time he’s been free to actually choose to act on those instincts. Cazador’s rules have always been the backbone holding him in place as surely as the mindflayer prison pods kept everyone well and truly trapped—until our merry lot was broken free. Now though? The only thing standing between Astarion and his sleeping, delicious-smelling companions’ blood, is his own will and choice. That has to be equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. He’s never been free like this—free, with vampiric needs clamouring for his attention. Free, as a vampire, spawn or otherwise. But does he want to? I would actually suspect he feels conflicted about that on multiple levels, given a possible line Auntie Ethel might say should you fight her. ”You’re one thirsty night away from betraying everyone!” [One of Auntie Ethel’s taunts when using Vicious Mockery during her potential fight, linked here in astarions-ears’s post.] On the one hand: the power to take what he wants, what he needs, is at his fingertips. Much like how the power of the tadpole is. It could help him protect himself, be stronger, do whatever he wants...just like the tadpole power. This whole situation is a mess of temptation in the long term for Astarion in so many ways. On the other hand though...I suspect based on that line from Ethel above, assuming it makes it into the final version of the game, given that it’s used during a casting of Vicious Mockery, I would say there’s fair grounds to assume Astarion does have at least reservations about betraying the party, at the very least with the hesitation given rise from self-serving desires such as wanting to have a group of people in his corner. I would say though, it wouldn’t cut so deep, and wouldn’t be so vicious a mockery, if he didn’t care that it was betrayal. I think it safe to say that if he truly didn’t care in some shape or form, Ethel would’ve ended up mocking some other aspect of Astarion’s personality or insecurities, likely something along the lines that everything he does is futile as he will still end up killed or enslaved by either Cazador or others (such as the party and MC having so much sway over his life and choices), rather than needling him about betrayal of all things.  Another reservation he might have from lack of experience is that he’s never hunted other people for his own food before. He might never have hunted for someone personally of his own free will before this point, either. That little nuance could be a hook on which he hangs onto for dear life—or unlife—in order to keep what remains of his perceived identity. Who does he want to be, and among those details, what must he be, in order to survive? What can he avoid doing? Does he want to be what he perceives as a monster? Is he hoping not to become a monster, to validate that he isn’t one already, based on his conversation after you catch him trying to steal some of the MC’s blood? “I’m not some monster!” There’s also the line from the post-Raphael first meeting, “If I keep the tadpole, I risk turning into a monster.” which all seem to imply that Astarion draws a line between what he thinks is and isn’t monstrous, much like in the first meeting with Astarion where if you tell him about the tadpole, he laughs bitterly and goes, “Of course it’ll turn me into a monster.” Isn’t that an interesting turn of phrase? It implies so much fertile ground for speculating on what he thinks of both his own vampirism, and what precisely makes someone or something a monster. The MC has come into Astarion’s life at such a fascinatingly crucial point in time, beyond just Astarion’s sudden new freedom, however fragile, from Cazador. Because of that freedom, this is also the time of exploration and self-definition for Astarion to decide who he is, and who he will be, a coming-of-age if you will, which is hysterically ironic and well-played by Larian Studios in my opinion given that he is almost assuredly going to be the chronologically oldest member of the main party. This dovetails so very neatly into the MC’s already obvious potential influence on how Astarion views his condition, other people, the world around him, his own self and morality...it’s really just so rife with potential. This particular part is nothing too new, just added detail and layering on top of previous musings in past posts, but there are elements of interest to examine I think. Personally, I was inclined to guess Astarion as being older, even as elves go, based largely on the fine lines one can see upon his face when he’s emoting, some elements of his attitude and dialogue—(“A fine effort, but I’ve seen it all. I was walking this land while your ancestors were learning to crawl.” - said if you fail a skill check during his recruitment scuffle)—but looking at some of these other elements has me reconsidering that. Perhaps he was more on the young adult side of the elven age range, rather than middle aged prior to being turned? If he can retain scars as a vampire under the living conditions Cazador subjected him to, perhaps he also has stress-related aging tells, since it seems from other DND materials (Curse of Strahd I believe has a vampire locked in a basement that’s largely starved of blood if I recall correctly? I am uncertain of the details regarding the situation unfortunately) that vampires can at least show physical deterioration when it comes to being starved for blood. It would be an entertaining take in my personal opinion to see an older character having a coming-of-age growth type arc, since those are almost always strongly associated with a relatively narrow range of ages from teenaged-to-middle-twenties-ish protagonists and characters. Whichever way Larian goes with it though, it is looking quite promising just based on the overall quality of the various game elements so far. To build on that possible theme interpretation though, there is another element that I think ties into Astarion’s uncertain age as well—how much he remembers of his life before Cazador, and how much life there was to remember to begin with. One might generally presume that the older a character is, the more time they’ve had and thus more opportunity to learn, to be exposed to life experiences, to garner wisdom. Often, this also tends towards a certain amount of cementing of a person’s outlook, personality, and other core traits along with potential varying levels of self-awareness regarding those elements. It goes without saying that people do still change sometimes dramatically other times gradually over the course of their lives, but typically the more easily-influenced vibes commonly go with younger and/or more naive character builds, though not always of course. Without addressing significant or otherwise notable exceptions, specific nuances or variations though, there is something of a vague expectation and template starting-base that older characters and personalities are typically more “put together”, “collected”, and less likely to be outright mutable. Astarion though? As a character in an RPG that is built upon the foundations of choices, in a DND world where choice IS the defining feature in both character expression and storytelling? His core will remain as himself I’m sure, but by the very nature of the game attempting to make this an enjoyable experience for the audience, odds are very good that Astarion will be heavily influenced in his outlook into a set number of branched endings based on what the MC chooses to say and do. But I have some potential suspicions now that Astarion might actually be a touch more malleable in some parts of his outlook and manner beyond the influence of just the aforementioned elements above. Consider the following lines Astarion currently has in Early Access, including one mentioned previously: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [Said in the previously posted link above when eating a treacle tart for presumably the first time, stolen from Auntie Ethel’s before illusion is lifted.] “I’ve seen so little of the world. Still, there’s time now.” [Looking at a globe, post linked here, from Pjenn’s blog] “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies. Was that normal?” [If you kill Mayrina’s brothers and Auntie Ethel disappears into thin air. Video from Danaduchy on youtube linked here] “Probably wise. No one gets that old and crooked playing by the rules.” [Same conversation as above mentioned in the video regarding Auntie Ethel if the second option “I’m not sure. We should watch ourselves around her.” is chosen in response to Astarion’s question.] While one could certainly retain youthful or what one might call immature or dramatic inclinations even through to one’s golden years, I am on the fence on how far Astarion’s presentation is strictly personality-based versus influenced by a possible lack of diverse life experiences. Nature versus nurture, as it were. The first of the above quotes seem to suggest he hasn’t done much traveling, and may have some wanderlust in him (potentially hinting at moon elf wanderlust leanings?), but then why wasn’t he out traveling? Why did he become a magistrate? There is much life to be lived in great depth and diversity when one stays in one place, true. But we really know so little about Astarion’s past before Cazador, all in all, and that intriguingly puts him back in step with most of the other companions at this point of backstory reveal, I’d say. If we include Cazador’s influence, I’d say we’ve seen quite a bit more of his story than most of the others because there’s a lot more visibility and immediately-threatening emotional tension in his story, even when compared to Gale’s, surprisingly, followed by Wyll’s, Shadowheart’s, and then Lae’zel’s as of what I personally have seen of their stories (my knowledge may be lacking, even as far as Early Access content goes.) To be fair though, Astarion is the one who thus far shows the most visible, dramatic expressions of fear and trauma regarding his backstory than all the rest, so that would be a major factor as to why it feels like we’ve seen more of his tale, among other factors. Regarding life experiences within a more geographically limited area though—that puts some of Astarion’s comments as even more markedly odd to me. Specifically those comments of his after Auntie Ethel poofs away into thin air, should the party slay Mayrina’s brothers for Ethel, “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies.” Perhaps his specification is the helpless part, but even if he was spending time with powerful old ladies, who asks “is it normal for the elderly to disappear into thin air like that?” He must have met some older people, ladies included, as Baldur’s Gate is not a strictly elven city, according to the wiki its demographics are mostly human but widely diverse. [Link to wiki page here.] This is especially strange if he’s of a noble background and was ostensibly working with other government officials, one would expect a range of ages with plenty of older individuals present both in his work and social circles, even if only in passing. That’s just not adding up, especially if it’s a genuine question, which his expressions and tone of voice during his inquiry in addition to his responses afterwards to the MC’s various dialogue options all seem to suggest if not confirm. If that question was coming from a young character who hasn’t seen the world, one would assume they were just incredibly sheltered. What does it mean coming from Astarion? What’s even stranger is that Astarion is the one who baits the MC into a trap using a similar disception upon meeting—”Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered!” One would think Astarion would recognize a ruse like that as one of the oldest tricks in the book: pretend to be helpless to get someone else to do the dirty work for you. Such a trick often is pulled off well especially when the pretender is either a) pretty/handsome, b) innocent looking (young or otherwise), c) dressed in a uniform or clothes that have helpful connotations for snap judgements in one’s favor (e.g. wearing good-aligned clergy garments), d) helpless looking (young, old, specific subgroups depending on culture, disabled, etc), or has other elements to their advantage there. If Astarion doesn’t recognize that particular ruse, which he doesn’t seem to, that has additional implications going on for him. If he did recognize the ruse, one would expect his reaction to be much more in line with Shadowheart’s. If he recognized it and was hiding it, one would think he wouldn’t want to play stupid, if only for pride’s sake—for all that Astarion has done things that have unquestionably humbled him, his penchant for verbal wit and criticism (various insults aimed at the MC and others regarding their intellect/stupidity) and touchy ego makes playing stupid seem like a very emotionally taxing and potentially painful thing for him to do, and thus not worth the mental/emotional effort in what looks like a very low-stakes situation. He seems too impulsive and reactive to be planning out a long-term con of hiding his intelligence, he makes far too many quips to pull that off at this point. Assuming Astarion does indeed not recognize the ruse beforehand, some of the possible implications for that could speculate on his overall awareness of his techniques when it comes to deception and manipulation. He definitely can spot it on occasion based on a narrated internal monologue line presumably from his origin— *I gave her a hard look. Never play a player.* [Linked to the audio of this line here from scionsandsinners’s blog] That he spots it in the potential origin line above, but presumably not with Auntie Ethel, might suggest that his experience is likely limited to within certain restricted lanes of behavior, likely seduction were one to guess based on what we know of his backstory and some datamined emotional directions/descriptions for voice acting, along with speculation based on his in-game behavior and demeanor. That would potentially push him moreso towards appearing when being manipulative to be doing so out of either self-perceived need (e.g. defending personal interests, inquiring after information of interest, etc), learned response, social norms, and other short term motivations that are more situational than long-term planning. I admit I’m still personally not of the opinion he’s playing a long-term game, and is playing it by ear as he goes—both honestly and not-so-honestly, as mentioned in previous posts on the subject. [Mentioned past essay post of mine linked here] In regards to short-term machinations, I think they’re all largely emotion or survival driven, as far as we’ve seen. I would include the voice acting direction for the romance scene where it’s noted that this is a power game for Astarion and that he’s an old hand at seducing others. Specifically from the synopsis: “For Astarion, this is a game of power - one he’s played many times before in the taverns of Baldur’s Gate, trying to lure people back to his master. He’s an old hand at seduction, very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” [Link to Pjenn’s post here.] I’ve seen intriguing, angsty, and fun takes on what this might mean all around tumblr, so allow me to offer up an additional one that might either compliment some of the already circulating pre-existing ones, or stand on its own depending on personal preference. Consider what power means to Astarion in the context of seducing someone specifically when it’s to lure them back to Cazador’s mansion under orders. It truly isn’t power in the sense of anything one might consider meaningful even under broad definitions. It’s a short-term deception, appealing to someone enough to get them to do what he wants for a short time, likely just enough time to flirt and then bait them back to Cazador’s estate (we’ll be skipping over speculation of anything else Astarion and company might get up to between point A and point B in this essay for simplicity’s sake, though there is much to consider on how it might impact his behavior and outlook there.) One of the specific words of interest I would say is the use of “script” in there. I’m sure others can hear it too when they listen to his dialogue during the party romance scene, but it really does sound like he’s putting on a tried-and-true act that might come across as a little over the top in romantic-dramatic-flair. One potential inference that can be gleaned from this might be some of Astarion’s expectations regarding how people perceive him, and most specifically how people perceive him in a desirous way. I will admit, Astarion’s romance scene makes me laugh, I'm impressed he and the MC both can avoid laughing at his lines in-scene, no disrespect intended. To me, he sounds like he ripped those lines straight out of a torrid romance novel, the kind where women might have a momentary description of heaving, delicate bosoms barely constrained by their bodice laces, while the men have had their shirts ripped open to display rippling muscles in a moment of romantic daring do. It makes me wonder if someone will go with a modern AU idea of BG3′s main crew that includes Astarion moonlighting as a much beloved romance/erotica writer under a nom de plume—the man has lines and characteristics that would shift well in such a verse-transposition. With that comparison in mind, I would suggest that Astarion is very, very used to playing the role of the illicit lover, the tempter of passions and other archetypes wherein he is the one confidently enticing people to cross the line of propriety with him for the implied, unspoken promise of a night filled with unparalleled ravishment. It might be he is fully, intentionally playing up to people’s fantasies about the passionate lover who falls madly in love with them at first glance. The fantasy of being so madly desired, as put forth by some romance stories. Then we have this other portion of the acting direction for the scene, “... very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” Isn’t that interesting? “Very self-assured at first,” why only at first? What changes? Does he have little doubts springing to mind then, because the realization that he knew, but didn’t really know until this moment when he feels the difference, that this isn’t just another routine night like all those other countless nights over the past two centuries where he had to tempt some poor, unfortunate soul back to Cazador’s waiting clutches? That this is someone he’s picked to spend the night with, solely for his own motivations, with no one else pulling the strings? Is it another moment of the realization of freedom, wherein he feels a touch terrified? Suddenly there is no script, there is no expectation of what he’s seen happen time after time after time after time to each person who’s looked at him the way the MC is looking at him now. Is it anxiety? Is it trauma? Is he feeling a moment of distant, cognitive dissonance that this time, this time, this person whom he’s picked, won’t be dead at the end of this? That he doesn’t have to hold them at arm’s length with the they’ll be dead soon or worse mentality he may have had previously...but can he afford to care? Does he dare? Whether he does or does not, it could be such a scary little moment of epiphany, that he even has the option to do so without immediate, horrendous repercussions. But can he really care, even without Cazador looming overhead as an immediate threat? Even if Cazador is slightly more distant now...there’s still the matter of the tadpoles. There is so much uncertainty potentially. Could this be the last chance he gets at having as close to a normal night of fully consenting, fully aware, mutual passion with another person as he can ever have, as a vampire spawn? Astarion could be interpreted as a character who is very strongly ruled by his emotions, in particular his fears and his desires. Does it befit his fears or his wants more to engage as he does in the romance scene? I’d guess moreso his fears, but it’s a fun back-and-forth he’s got as a character, zigzagging between those two extremes. He fears trusting as denoted in the dialogue from him if you fail the persuasion check asking him to trust you and to talk about who he dreamed about, but since you can persuade him...does that mean he wants to trust? If he speaks truthfully in this following scene, he does trust the MC to some degree out of necessity and/or the want to trust, as mentioned if you use the illithid powers in the camp bite scene where he’s revealed to be a vampire. He has likely been alone among the crowd of Cazador’s other spawn, given the lack of mention of anyone else, friend or otherwise, in his banter with Shadowheart regarding if there was anyone waiting for him back in Baldur’s Gate and other general conversations and discussions. That’s rather concerning truth be told, to go two hundred years with what might be a complete lack of positive or healthy social connection. Another thing Cazador has ripped away intentionally, it would seem. Does he want connection, meaningful friendship or otherwise? The fact that his approval rating has an impact on his manner of address of the MC or other selected origin character seems like it could be read as a suggestion that he does show whom he likes and dislikes openly in fairly standard socializing behaviors. That he does want to spend time around people whom he likes, who like him back. What would’ve been terribly clever of Larian (said without being able to compare all the different levels of approval shown via dialogue general greetings from the different companions), is if they had a character whose greeting was still amicable, polite, and most importantly friendly even when their approval of you was low. What if such a theoretical character’s greetings never changed, or changed very little aside from some variation at higher approval levels? That could be a great little twist of game mechanics to show either Something Isn’t Right, or that the character is a great liar, through meta knowledge on the player’s part of comparing all these disparate little details to compare and contrast. That kind of tell could be used to show that a character lacks either a degree of empathy and care for the main character, or that they are keeping the MC at arms’ length regardless of what the MC does (barring some potential high-approval impact and side-quest-completion that leads to influencing such a character, who might otherwise be a betrayer, into remaining loyal.) Seeing as Astarion lacks those major tells as of yet and that he does engage honestly either through persuasion or eventual revelation (such as if you fail the first dream-convo persuasion check, you find out from when he wakes up from nightmares regarding Cazador “reading poetry” what his dreams really were about), one could assume he does, in spite of all he’s been through, despite all the reasons he’s been given to fear, all the repetition beaten into his head to never trust another person ever again or to ever be trusted ever again... ...in spite of all that, perhaps a part of him still wants to reach out and engage with others. That some part of him still wants to interact as most if not all people do, in an emotionally meaningful and honest way. He says to the MC that he thinks they want to be known—and as I’m sure many of you clever lot who are in the shipping business alongside the rest of us have already thought or written out into fic, it very well may be that Astarion wants to be known too. Not just in the romantic or impassioned-love-affair manner of speaking, but simply for who he is, with both the MC and the rest of the group too. Accepted. Does he enjoy the little quips and barbs (assuming he actually is allowed to drink humanoid blood) such as from Shadowheart regarding his vampirism? Does that feel like a new, pleasant normal to him that he likes after a while? A joke between friends? Like the line “You know? I’m a little proud none of you were stupid enough to trust him!” [Linked here from scionsandsinners’s blog] while definitely still sporting his current insultingly low bar of expectations, it could be a nice potential build towards actually getting attached to the group on the whole as friends. Did he have that before he turned at all? Did he want that before? It seems likely given what we’ve seen of his raw emotional drive, that his potential desire for meaningful connection however obscured behind quips and barbs, that those elements were always a part of him in some way, shape or form. Does he remember, though? Or is it potentially something he’s forgotten, to some extent or other? Does he remember vaguely what friendship was like as another hollow memory among many, after so many years of torment wearing away at his mind? Do his friends from life if any still live? That could be bittersweet, if he did leave someone behind from when he was alive, that we might meet in Baldur’s Gate. He calls that Before—that time when he was still alive, before he lay dying and accepted Cazador’s offer of eternal life and was thus turned into a vampire spawn—so long ago it’s ancient history. “Everything before that is so long ago it’s ancient history and everything that came after…well uhm–I’d rather not reflect on it.” [Link here, from scionsandsinners] In some lines, tentatively guessed as post-vampire-status-reveal casual dialogue regarding his past before Cazador, relating to his days as a magistrate, he says he can’t remember what happened too clearly. “I…can’t remember much, truth be told–centuries of torment will do that to you.” [link from scionsandsinners blog]  According to google searches on the internet for DND rules regarding the turning of vampires and vampire spawn, they do seem to retain the memories of their life even into undeath. Astarion certainly could be obfuscating and lying about how much he remembers from back then...but consider this alternative as a possibility: What if he isn’t? [Spoilers for some of the Amnesia game series ahead, specifically Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and the DLC Amnesia: Justine.] What if he does have a certain degree of memory loss? Enter the comparison of Daniel and Justine both from Amnesia: The Dark Descent and the game’s DLC. Astarion, unlike the main character for Amnesia’s main campaign Daniel, did not technically volunteer for memory loss...unless one counts agreeing to take Cazador’s deal as volunteering, specifically without full and knowing consent of what he was getting into. Daniel in comparison knowingly and willingly ingests a potion to erase his memories, and leaves a note to motivate himself and thus the player to follow the course of ensuing events that make up the game. Justine does so in a similar fashion to Daniel, but her memory loss is intentionally temporary, whereas Daniel seems to have meant for it to be of a more permanent fashion. What if part of Cazador’s intentions regarding torturing his spawn, including Astarion, was to break down memories of happier times until those spawn could only remember that they had ever been happy once, not the actual memory, not the actual feeling—only the bitter, hollow forgetfulness and knowledge that they had known, once? Starvation is devastating in many, many, many ways. Ways that are so rarely fully explored in fiction beyond the feeling of extreme hunger. Few, after all, would consider the impact of malnourishment or a constant caloric deficit upon mental faculties unless they have observed it, experienced it, or studied it. It is possible to suffer actual physical brain damage from starving, so one must ask is it so surprising that the ability to think, comprehend, and process information, memory or emotion also falters when under the very real physical stress of prolonged famine? The brain eats up at least a fifth of the baseline caloric intake required for the average person’s bodily needs. It does not compromise well for less without the person in question suffering consequences for most if not all individuals. We know Astarion has not had more than enough to barely survive under Cazador, and the quality has been well below subpar at best. What if, after all he’s been through, with the exhaustion of constant fear and extreme pain, of unending ravenous hunger, and so much more...what if Astarion can’t remember much of before at all? What if he has forgotten chunks of his past? He does remember large, broad brushstrokes yes, the shape of ideas and what he once knew. The home he might long to see that he has not laid eyes upon in centuries [mentioned in the conversation with the Ornate Mirror if Astarion is the one talking to it (or does it require he be the chosen main origin?) I have no source available at this current time alas.] How much of that home does he remember in full? I’m sure he can recall some details...but are they the abstract knowledge of those details of what he knew they were like, or the actual memory?  Can you imagine the added layer of pain for an elf, if Larian is working with any of the racial features involving trancing, or the Reverie, if it’s built based off of the 2e DND Complete Book of Elves excerpt as mentioned in the following linked thread? [Posted by Remathilis, key word phrase is “The Reverie” or “The reverie is akin to sleep”, linked here] Specifically if these elements are at play:  “The reverie is akin to sleep, yet is very much unlike it. When elves enter this state, they vividly relive past memories, those both pleasant and painful. Like the dreaming of humans, elves have no control over which memories rise to the fore when they relinquish their bodies to the reverie. Occasionally, elves do actually dream, but this is not a frequent occurrence and mostly occurs only when they truly sleep.” “Although the reverie provides rest, it is primarily an important memory tool that helps the elf maintain a strong sense of identity. Since their lifespans are so great, elves must periodically recall the events in those hundreds of years that were integral to the making of their personality.”  This is from older versions of DND rules it’s true, but if it still applies, and applies to Astarion? This man has had over two hundred years’ worth of memories full of suffering and torment that, if he’s having traumatic PTSD nightmare episodes also helping to induce a higher frequency of recalling his torment at the hands of Cazador both during those centuries and afterwards, are potentially shaping his personality not only through the channels we can recognize in both fiction and the real world in psychological and physiological terms, but also supernatural or magical influences due to his being an elf and potentially shaped by the influence of what memories his reverie might dredge up. And the larger the number of traumatic, dark, fearful memories he has, the more likely he is to encounter them, especially if they’re coupled with a constant, ongoing fear of knowing these memories will be made anew each night unto infinity if he is stuck bound to Cazador’s service forever. Who wants to bet Cazador knew about this aspect of elven psychology/biology? Or at the very least speculated it, as far as having elven vampire spawn went? It will be interesting to see if there are other elven vampire spawn among Cazador’s underlings—either for the route of Cazador taking a particular extra pleasure in breaking elves because they are supposedly harder to influence in such a manner if he had others before Astarion, or if Astarion was the first elf Cazador turned, then perhaps Astarion received particular, special attention for being seen as an added challenge due to being an elf. Alexander from Amnesia however had to use a slightly defter touch to manipulate Daniel, having not so concrete a hold over him as Cazador over Astarion. But the torture of others, of fleeing to Alexander’s or Cazador’s promise of safety from an impending horror or threat of death, followed by a descent into the dark, unyielding despair of what Daniel or Astarion have done to survive? They do have potential parallels enough to make for a possible AU exploration in fics, certainly. One question that arises in this scenario of comparison though, is how much is Astarion aware of? How much of Cazador’s insidious influence does he recognize, in particular the more subtle parts that have seeped in over the years? Consider then the added layer of stark, blinding contrast, that he now has new memories, of new people, new experiences, in particular ones that are not torture or the anticipation of said torture, and it’s all in the daylight. Memories of daylight the likes of which he’s not had in two hundred years. Consider the mere color contrast from the lighting difference of daylight versus night time, like in the line where he asks  “Was the sky always this blue? It’s magnificent…” [Link here to the audio, presumed triggered after vampire status reveal] If he dreams in reverie and the memory that comes to mind is set in the daytime...would he feel a bit safer in hoping that it will be a safer, better dream, than if it’s set in the night time? Consider how much of a horrible, terror-inducing surprise it might be to dream of a sun-filled garden, only to see an idealized version of Cazador show up, a la the tadpole. That has to be the meanest surprise-twist Astarion could have for a dream setting there. But on other nights if he does not have memories of Cazador or tadpole dreams plaguing him, does he dream of the camp, the companions, the MC, the actions their group has undertaken? What does he think of those dream-memories? Are they only relatively restful compared to the other dark memories lurking in his head, or are these new daylight-filled memories actually objectively restful for him? Perhaps one additional group of reasons he’s willing to join up with the party, is to get away from the memories. With people, there is the added unknown factor of complexity and chemistry, of lives and histories not his own added to the mix of any situation they come across. Of interaction. Of not being left alone to his own thoughts and nightmares. This group’s members aren’t victims meant for Cazador’s fangs and thirst, nor are they Cazador’s spawn, fellow damned souls and torturous devils both who alternate suffering upon the rack and potentially being the ones to turn the rack’s wheels for whoever is tied down upon it that night. Mayhaps Astarion wants to remember more of the things he’s forgotten in the darkness of all the years he’s suffered under Cazador—to make new memories of things he would associate with living, with being free. To fill in the hollowed out abstract memories with fresh, new details of life lived in the sun, in the here and now. Is he aware of just how much he’s forgotten? Even if he isn’t fully cognizant of the full tally of all that he’s potentially lost...it must still hurt to have an idea of how much he’s lost even if he’s only partially aware. In this, he might hold more comparison to Justine from Amnesia’s DLC moreso than Daniel, depending on what choices Astarion makes if he’s the chosen origin, or on the MC’s choices if it’s a custom origin playthrough—with Justine, her choices are all setup and intended to be an exploration of who she is as an exploration of character, to find out if she is capable of mercy and compassion still—while exercising a great deal of monstrous cruelty for her own amusement. With Daniel there is still the solid comparison of thematic elements in that his quest is a desperate pursuit of revenge while trying to outrun a great evil, all while acknowledging that he himself is horrifying as well. Justine’s story would parallel Astarion far more so on the dark path through Baldur’s Gate 3, naturally, whereas Daniel, if one selected the Revenge Ending at the end of Amnesia, has more in common with Astarion’s tentatively projected good route—revenge, while also ending a greater evil than himself. The parallel with Daniel may possibly even include a comparison to Amnesia’s Good Ending depending on what direction Larian takes Astarion’s story in. I doubt Larian would have Astarion become self-sacrificial, but I could see him potentially becoming much more inclined towards helping his friends and party members on a good-aligned path, as he seems at least not entirely unwilling to engage in do-goodery, particularly if bribed enough. There’s also certainly the idea of comparing Daniel being “tainted” as Alexander put it by the Shadow to Astarion’s potential point of view on his vampirism, given some of his expressions at times in emotional scenes relating to it. Then also the comparison of all the horrors Daniel has inflicted upon people, as have Justine and Astarion, and the fact that after the amnestic-influence of their specific story elements in this build, they are ultimately all able to be influenced towards better or worse endings dependent upon more immediate influences, namely the people surrounding them, and less so from long-standing influences of their past such as tradition, upbringing, and other core elements of identity that memory so often brings to the table, or at least helps formulate the detailing of. Justine admittedly does not really have “better” endings, but her horror story’s core could be interpreted as “was truly a monster at heart all along” from start to finish. Will Astarion prove to be similarly corrupt at his core, something that had always been true deep down regardless of Cazador’s influence on him, ultimately sowing harm and ruin upon the world and people around him, like Justine? Or will he turn out to be leaning towards being more of a good-inclined, flawed character with a bloodstained history he regrets and seeks to overcome, like Daniel? As a disclaimer though, Daniel is not a Good-aligned personality. He did many horrifying things to preserve his life, and Astarion certainly has done terrible things canonically under Cazador’s direction, though we still wait to see what Astarion did back when he was free to choose. With the attention to detail Larian Studios is applying as is to just what we’ve seen in Early Access, I would expect a fairly nuanced backstory for Astarion with murky morality, based on what we see of his opinions and character traits now. Another idea just to let loose an additional fox among the chickens: Consider the added layer of potential morality conflict in the scenario where Astarion might actually have very well been pursuing his idea of justice as a magistrate— coupled with his low opinions of others which he may have had before Cazador turned him, along with his racist/discriminatory comments and behaviors (re: Gur, Goblins, Gnomes, Kobolds, etc), likely suggests he could very well have been very biased in his perspective on how he meted out justice. I would not be surprised if Larian Studios kept the story idea that he was selling criminals off, but I also would not be at all shocked if they added details where it made what Astarion was dishing out closer to overly-harsh street-justice—he makes a fine murder-hobo adventurer as it is when the watchword of the day for many an adventuring party is “Murder Is An Acceptable Solution If Words Aren’t Working.” I also wouldn’t bat an eye should we find out he was as judgmental and cynical before Cazador as he is now, albeit perhaps with a different bend to his outlook from life experience influences. This all really ties in well with the usual game build of everyone starting at level one, as brand new, green adventurers—barring past adventuring experiences for backstory like Wyll, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart do or potentially have—at the start of their journey, off to explore the world and grow into the world-savers (or world-enders) they’re destined to be in a given campaign. Astarion fits this very well on many levels, among them given the fact how new everything is to him with this sudden change of the rules altering the very fabric of his existence. He has to deal with figuring out how to deal with his vampirism under his own agency and all the ensuing complications that come with that, has to figure out how to socially interact with others in all new ways, has to level up to go on his personal quest to save his own hide and eventually his friends’ and the world—it’s all so new and different, even the things he’s experienced before with such a drastic perspective shift and a change in power. It ties right back into his tagline so nicely too if that ends up being a possible theme of his, the whole memory-loss/memory-informing-his-identity element of being an elf: “ Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” Can he leave those memories behind and forge himself into a better version of himself, if that is what he wants? What choices will Astarion make, if he does indeed have warped memories due to Cazador’s corroding influence to the point of some degree of memory loss? How will this flood of new sensory and social experiences change him as he goes forward? Who will Astarion choose to be, at the end of the day when they reach the road’s end? Will he let those dark memories twist and shape him, or will he try to make new ones among new friends, and follow their lead back into the sunlight? So many potential questions! Speaking of potential good-versus-bad-paths, this line isn’t in the game yet, but I feel it suggests Astarion might have a certain tolerance or perhaps even willingness to at least consider going out and saving the world, beyond lines we’re all familiar with already at the Tiefling celebration party: “Don’t you think we have other priorities right now? We need to save ourselves before we can save the world.” [Link here from Pjenn’s datamined post, dialogue theoretically occurs after a currently locked-off from Early Access encounter with a drow servant of the Absolute in the Underdark] It makes for a lot of intriguing possibilities, I dare say, all of which could make for marvelous variations in core character trait builds and influences for different interpretations of Astarion as a character. So many choices and gradients to play with, he and all the rest of the main cast have such nuance, it’s fantastic. The cast of characters all so far seem to have a wide variety of wants and motivations, and Larian seems like they might be quite determined to blur the line and inspire more rich exploration opportunities regarding perceived morality among many other potential topics of discussion—we have good characters with on-going flaws and darker motivations, evil characters with recurrent virtues and sympathetic appeal, and quite a few in-between when non-party-member NPCs are included in the mix. I do think Astarion along with all the rest of the party fit into those kinds of complicated-morality situations we’ve seen play out and be hinted at so very nicely, and it will be such fun to see how they grow through these experiences! It’s marvelous writing, directing, animation, acting, and just straight up work all across the board it looks like from over here. Anyway, thank you all for coming along on this literary ramble with me, I hope you had a fine time and that you all have a lovely day or night as befits your current timezone. Happy tidings to you, and stay safe everyone, and see you next time! :D

[raevenlywrites]

WIP Relationships

Thanks for the tag @jaimistoryteller! I’m tagging back @chaos-reign @desperatlytryingtowriteabook and @oceanwriter

Rules: bold the themes that apply to your ship, within your story, then tag an amount of writeblrs of your choice! Let’s take a peek into the foxy WIP we’re working on right now, featuring an up in the air romantic situation between Tybee, Gil, and Lia

height difference / mutual pining / first kiss / wedding / in-jokes / lgbt+ / family disapproves / would die for each other / fake relationship / arranged wedding / cuddlers / pda friendly / and they were room mates / holding hands / secret relationship / opposing world views / getting a pet / have kids / want kids / grow old together / relationship failures / rests head on shoulder / share a bed / token dummies / relationship doubts / they have a song / first date / sharing a blanket

More about Gil, Tybee, and Lia under the cut

There is a height difference between Gil and Tybee that just cracks me up. Tybee is the oldest but Gil has just gotten bigger as they’ve grown up together, a point Tybee resents but will never comment on. Bu the is very aware of Gil’s linebacker shoulders, and just how very tall he’s gotten over the years...

Where Tybee likes to rush ahead with a me-first attitude, Gil is very shy and reluctant. When he finally does share his first kiss with Lia, he wants it to be juuuuuust right.

Everything is gay forever. Can’t help it. Tybee flirts with both Lia and her best friend Kyle within moments of meeting them. Tybee drives his roommate Shannon and her girlfriend Opal absolutely crazy with his odd hours, and the pair of them can’t ever seem to get two seconds to themselves! Gil has feelings he doesn’t quite understand for Tybee, which will naturally have to be addressed for their story to resolve, and there is the mysterious Handsome Sports Guy, who I have yet to name but makes Gil blush like there is no tomorrow.

Since I can’t not write about shapeshifters, there are always cuddles ahoy. This is actually one of Gil’s saving graces, because if he wasn’t a born cuddler by culture, he’d probably have Lia wondering if he even liked her. And, of course, there is the required tender moment between Tybee and Lia where he just wants a hug, damnit. Can’t they just stop fighting for one night and just hold each other? my heeeeeart </3 There are also many instances of casual (or not so casual touch) such as the rests head on shoulder, shares a blanket/bed, and so on. I am a very touchy feely writer okay????

SECRET RELATIONSHIP IS SECRET NO SPOILERS FOR YOU

Gil and Tybee’s world views are literally night and day. Tybee thinks the world is his oyster and luck is his plaything. Gil is convinced that one of these days, it’s going to come back to bite Tybee in the ass.

Tybee is one big relationship failure after another omg (but then again, so is Gil, in his way) Lia has her hands full with these two, and all the relationship doubts that come with it. Can she figure it out? Are either of them even worth all this confusion??? Idk it isn’t totally written yet lol

[tuchimuchibrainvomit]

Sonic Forces Review — It Wears Its Heart On Its Sleeve

Sonic Forces, an interactive movie with some short puzzles and reflex challenges. It’s the junk food to it’s four-course partner, Sonic Mania, but that isn’t a bad thing.

**SPOILERS AHOY**

Now, this is not a derogatory usage of “Interactive Movie”. But after completing Sonic Forces, this is kind of how I interpreted it. It’s something that has it’s appeal, but in modern gaming conventions doesn’t really fit in.

During my time, I kept thinking back to Asura’s Wrath — a game that was more like an interactive movie, kind of dubbing it as “Anti-Game”.

Like Anti-Film, Anti-Game tries to break and subvert the conventional definitions of a game, and as I journeyed through it, I started to interpret Forces as a bit like that. But I realized I was thinking way too hard and just found a lot to enjoy about Sonic Forces in it’s off-beat nature and spectacle.

In fact, I was about to do an active study into thinking whether Modern Sonic as a game series is Anti-Game in it’s own right or not...

My reasoning was factoring Sonic Team’s constant experimentation and liberative design philosophy — in where the games can change up in an instant to play against any established status quo. But I realized how hyperbolic that was and there was just not enough information readily available to articulate for or against that notion. In the end, it’s up to the individual’s interpretation. But man, it was an interesting hypothesis to the state of gaming and Sonic being a rebel, just as he was in the 90’s...

But anecdotes aside, let’s dive in an see what Sonic Forces had to offer...

Firstly, what I liked.

The Avatar: I felt that a lot of love was put into the idea of the Avatar and their stages have the most in terms of experimentation with different Wispon power-ups and junctions of exploration, even if the levels themselves were relatively short and some Wispons *coughcoughDRILLcoughcough* can be frustrating and poorly implemented.

Music: Seeing that Kenichi Tokoi was a main composer and his soundtrack from the Sonic Riders series could be felt throughout Force’s energized, electronic soundtrack. It feels like a very different soundtrack for Sonic and one that I felt was welcomed. I personally loved the Avatar OST, which had a blend of electronic drum and bass with lyrical tones that created something very different than standard fare.

The Story: While fan-fiction levels of cringe — especially in execution, it had an interesting point of character development for the newly implemented Avatar. You see the character go from cowardly civilian to a hero standing beside Sonic. Something about that made me warm up to the custom character and what they had to offer. I also really enjoyed the connection to Mania, making them what I called Phantom Ruby Saga.

Shadow DLC: While short, I really thought Shadow’s story and level-design is more along the lines of what I wanted Modern Sonic to be. The story is your edge cringe of Sonic’s yore, but it was enough to make me laugh and admittedly, the last part caught me off-guard.

Next, what I didn’t like or found problematic.

Classic Sonic: Just frustrating. I didn’t like him much in Generations and Sonic Mania did him so well, that it really showed how I’d prefer Forces without Classic Sonic. A more balanced focus on Modern Sonic and the Avatar could’ve made it stronger. I think I’m just sick of Classic Sonic, and ready for Sega to let him go.

Modern Sonic: Rather uneventful. He was more fun than his classic counterpart, but overall the Sonics felt like less of the focus compared to the Avatar. I enjoyed the sprints of Sonic and the reflex challenges, but it wasn’t anything to write home about. Once again, I feel that ridding Classic Sonic from gameplay would allow more focus on Modern Sonic’s spurts.

The Story: Overall, it was not for me. It felt like it was going to a Sonic Adventure 2 place with this goofy story but dark atmosphere looming, but it started taking itself too seriously that it became campy and cringey. And in execution, it got a little ridiculous when there is a “War” scene which looks more like an amateur Machinima film.

The Bosses: A bit of a mixed bag, with most of them being short and repetitive. I did enjoy the Avatar vs Infinite boss, his powers and noticeably trippy aspects made it quite the difficult fight to figure out and once I figured it out, he wasn’t too much of a hassle. Kudos, goes to the Death Egg Robot, only Mania has been able to make that boss fun.

But the main point of this review is the point of contention for everyone on all sides:

The Gameplay and Level Design

Honestly, the levels are short — most lasting about 2 minutes. For many people, that’s too short and I can see where they are coming from. After the healthy bulk of 9 levels with 2 Acts in Generations to 30+ short, concise levels was a major departure. Though, I feel game length is not really a credit to a games benefit or detriment. It’s just the length of the experience. And personally, I liked having 30+ short mini levels that had their own little gameplay gimmick to mess with than 4-8 minute levels that just go on. Both have merits in different ways.

To that point, I didn’t mind the length with the Red Rings returning. Showing that I missed things and can go back — I feel that shorter level design in Sonic works better when it has hidden goodies. But that’s just my opinion, they can be linear and a bit over reliant on spectacle and QTEs but I’ll say that I didn’t have to care about QTEs since you can just mash them and make it through, they are not really invasive. Now, if a death depended on my skill at a QTE, I’d be more frustrated — but it was not for me. So I’m indifferent to the QTEs in Forces.

My favorite levels were most definitely the Metropolis City with the Avatar and the Death Egg Level with Modern Sonic. It was a lot to take in and kept me guessing to figure out how to survive the tight platforming and reversed physics as well as just having a fun little spectacle for a minute or two is fine by me.

... But in summation, I feel Sonic Forces just wanted to be a spectacle. It wasn’t trying to be the next revolutionary title for Sonic, but a fun, arcade-y romp with your own character and Sonic. Each level being a short puzzle to figure out where to go and what to find and concluding.

— And that, I think it does a good job at just that. I found that somewhat charming.

If you’re expecting something deeper or to get you into Sonic — stick with Mania or get Mario Odyssey. If I were to compare them, Sonic Mania and Mario Odyssey are the stronger of the three games. Mania’s more tightly designed in gameplay and level design and Odyssey is more open-ended.

However, Sonic Forces wears its heart and intention on it’s sleeve and knows what it is. It will have it’s die-hard fans and haters — and that’s OK.

It’s got a $40 price tag and I felt that I received $40 experience, along with the free DLC from Pre-Order. I’m not one to judge a game as good or bad based on my own opinions. I can only weigh the pros and cons of my experience to create an interpretation — and Sonic Forces let me do that and be satiated. If you’re a Sonic fan, you’ll probably like it.

If you have $40 to blow and and are curious, give Forces a shot. I like that it knows what it is and it was enjoyable romp for me. Or if you have $60, get Mania and Forces — play them back to back.

Sonic Mania is like a full course meal and Forces a dessert, you may be too full for dessert or not a dessert guy, but taste it and see how you feel. The two complement each other in this way that I can’t explain in words other than Antithesis — it’s a satisfying feeling that left me full of Sonic for the year.

I have a hypothesis before we go. I was wondering that with the lower price tag, did this game had a much lower budget compared to it’s older siblings? It doesn’t feel unfinished, or rushed but something that was weighed down by factors be it a newer dev team or a lower budget. Either way, it was ambitious with the Avatar design and that I can appreciate from an outsider looking in. Perhaps with more time, I’ll get more information about the development cycle. It’s just a hypothesis and my interpretation of it all.

In conclusion, Sonic Forces truly is a B-Movie experience wrapped up in a Sonic game, and it’s enjoyable for fans or people wanting to see what Sonic is up to. Nothing spectacular, but nothing awful either — Just a cute way to kill some hours.

I’d love to see what Sega can do with the Avatar and Modern Sonic in the future, and see them try things iin a more avant-garde manner. Sonic has always been a bit of an oddball, off-beat series that I’d love to see taken to an artistic extreme. This felt like another step in Sonic’s never-ending journey to continue forward. I’m beginning to wonder if he’ll get more off-beat as time goes on.

Anyway, I need to go back to Persona 5 and break more chips into that thing! I know, I’m very behind, I just got to the second palace... sigh...

Always bloom proudly, guys!

 — TUCHI OUT!!

[emeraldembers]

Looloo’s Horror Rec List!

Tagging @eatingcroutons​, @monstermonstre​ as requested <3.

SO. I apologise for how long this list took, but as it turns out, I have watched a slightly silly number of horror movies, and with it being such a varied genre, I didn’t want to accidentally rec a bunch of things people would end up hating or spoil the heck out of them during the reccing process, so. But it’s finished now, and I intend to try and keep it up to date as time goes by and I encounter more horror flicks worth watching. I’m also going to stick a little italicised bit after any movies I remember having potentially squicky/triggery stuff in for people who are okay with horror but not That Kind Of Horror.

Behind a cut because this is Quite A Lot Of Movies My Dudes.

- - -

Movies I’m reccing because they actually scared me:

* Alien

Yo, it’s a classic for a reason, and if I’m doing a rec list of horror movies, I’m determined to address all the movies I’d rec, regardless of the likelihood of everyone having seen it already. Fantastic characters who behave believably, the cold cruelty of both monsters and capitalism, slow builds that pay off, it’s just - it’s so dang good, from start to finish, and all the spoofs and parodies and homages in the world will never fully diminish its success as a genuinely scary movie. CW: Soooooo much imagery suggesting sexual violence.

* The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Brian Cox is a frigging awesome actor, and he and Emile Hirsch absolutely and 100% sell you on the affectionate but strained relationship between father and son in this brilliant little flick that makes you root for the leads so hard. It’s claustrophobic and creepy and made by how the leads actually use common sense for the majority of the movie, and while I will admit the ending wasn’t my favourite, that by no means spoiled the film for me. CW: Animal death, references to human trafficking and sexual violence.

* Hereditary

Oh man. This film is absolutely brutal emotionally, one of the most intense (and imho, accurate) depictions of the pain of mourning I’ve ever seen on screen, and the horror happening around all this pain is just... torture. It’s almost unbearable to watch, but I can’t deny how incredibly well-acted it is, or how frightening it is. For quite a few people the ending doesn’t stick - people feel it over-explains itself - but I personally felt it worked. CW: graphic child death, graphic animal death.

* Jacob’s Ladder

This is such a weird and wonderful creation and I am so, so happy that I found it during the height of my Silent Hill fangirling days. It’s like watching a dream - sometimes quiet and comforting, sometimes loud and terrifying, and the movie just has this magnificent atmosphere of paranoia. It’s unlike any other horror movie I’ve seen in terms of it successfully pulling off the nightmare effect (controversial but true, I’m not a fan of Suspiria, though I appreciate several of the works it inspired). CW: Some imagery suggesting sexual violence.

* Kill List

Please, pretty please watch this without spoilers if you can. The less you know about it going in, the better. It’s a slow build, with the first half of the film playing out more or less like a kitchen sink drama with occasional bursts of explicit violence, but the payoff is worth it imho. CW: Mentions of paedophilia, violence against children.

* The Orphanage

This Spanish language flick is tragic, beautiful, and absolutely bloody terrifying on a first watch. It’s the only film that’s ever made me scream in fright, and is without a doubt the scariest movie I have watched to date: CW: Jaw trauma, child deaths.

* The Thing (1982)

God, I cannot describe how much I loved finally sitting down and watching this movie and realising that for all that I had seen the majority of the transformation and body horror sequences in it, it was still scary. Thanks to the sense of paranoia, and how many times you’re left waiting for something to happen, knowing something is about to happen, on a first watch it’s got some truly chilling moments and it deserves its status as a known classic.

- - -

Movies I’m reccing because they may not have scared me but they sure left a lingering something behind:

* Kairo (also known as Pulse)

Pretend there was never a remake because jfc the ball on that one got dropped harder than Vin Diesel’s voice during puberty. Kairo is utterly and completely bleak and depressing but the bleak and depressing nature of it is what makes the horror in it work. Watching the world in Kairo go quieter and emptier over time is distressing in the strangest of ways, and - fun fact - this film gave me one of the weirdest fears of all time, because now I have nightmares about windows and doors surrounded by red tape. As you do. CW: Suicide depicted explicitly and frequently.

* Lake Mungo

This flick and the Marble Hornets series on youtube are the only things I’ve seen using the found footage format that I felt really got its potential. Plenty of movies have had fun with it, and I’m grateful to The Blair Witch Project for popularising it, but a lot of the time it feels like long periods of nothing then suddenly All Of The Things. This one is a lot subtler about building an increasing sense of dread, and handling the subject matter in a way that feels very, very real for once. It’s fab.

* Let the Right One In

The English language remake, Let Me In, is apparently pretty good? But I haven’t seen it, so I’m going off the original here. And it’s a flaming beautiful film. It’s discomforting and its balance of achingly sweet and tender moments with brutally violent moments is perfect. There’s a bleakness to it that might put some people off, but it’s just gorgeous in my eyes, and I’m very, very fond. CW: Strongly implied paedophilia.

* The Mist

This is a perfect example of how you don’t necessarily have to have the best CGI if you have a great cast. I could never watch it again because it left me so shaken and upset at the end, but some of the imagery in it is just astonishingly haunting, like the best entries of SCP brought to life, and I have to commend it for being one of the classiest adaptations of Stephen King’s work to date. CW: Assisted suicides.

* Session 9

This is a bit of a weird one to put down on a rec list because I personally didn’t enjoy it, but I can’t say that it didn’t leave a lasting impression. There’s a sense of discomfort and wrongness that permeates the film, and it leaves a sort of... almost a slimy coating of creepiness all over you by the time it’s finished. CW: ~Creepy mental hospital~ setting, ableism ahoy.

* The Vvitch

I will admit that in retrospect, I do think this is a little overrated, but only a little, aaaaaand also I may as well admit that there is something about Kate Dickie’s acting that I hate. I have nothing against her as a person! I just don’t personally think she’s a good actress. That being said, everyone else in this movie, especially the children, did a brilliant job. It’s an uneasy watch from the start and only gets more uneasy as it goes on, and I love how straight it played its central concept. What elevates it for me in particular though is the ending, which I openly admit I did not see coming, and was delighted with. CW: Child deaths, strongly implied paedophilia.

- - -

Movies I’m reccing because they were just dang good and didn’t fit into the above categories:

* 28 Days Later

Not to be crude but I wish I could turn this film into body butter just so I could smear it all over me. Flawless cast, an adrenaline rush of a movie that I could watch a hundred times and never tire of, and the climax of the movie is straight up one of my favourite endings ever for its heart in throat intensity. CW: Suicides, threats of sexual violence.

* The Babadook

All Netflix categorisation jokes aside, I genuinely adored this movie. The leads are so well acted and I love their characterisation; it also has one of the best depictions of mental illness in childhood I’ve ever seen (second only to the little girl in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark 2010, whose portrayal of childhood depression resonated with me so strongly I couldn’t finish watching the movie). Also, for frigging once, the portrayal of mental illness is sympathetic, and people suffering from it get shown at their best, not just their worst.

* Coraline

To be honest, a lot of children’s movies are more successful at getting a reaction out of me than “grown-up” movies - All Dogs Go To Heaven’s hell sequence still unsettles me to this day - and Coraline is one of the rarities that plays out almost entirely as straight horror from start to finish. As per all things Laika it’s gorgeously animated, and the progression from eerie to nightmarish as the movie progresses is fantastic. CW: References to children’s deaths.

* Dog Soldiers, Ginger Snaps

It might seem an odd choice to pair these two up, but I couldn’t rec one without the other because to me they’re two sides of the same coin - violent werewolf movies with a wicked sense of humour, one focused on the relationships between men, the other on the relationships between women - and because of both the tone and the subject matter, I think Ginger Snaps makes a better pairing with Dog Soldiers than The Descent.

* Get Out

There’s very little I can say about this film that hasn’t been said already; it’s a film that uses humour like a knife, it’s a masterpiece in building discomfort and tension, and every single actor in it is top notch. It’s impossible not to root for the main character, and if you’re not cheering him on at the end, you may want to get your pulse checked.

* IT (2017)

Now this definitely terrified some of the people I saw this in the cinema with - one man peed himself, a woman fled the viewing, and I overheard people talking about smelling poop in the back of the cinema - but for me it wasn’t particularly scary. What it was, however, was moving, and funny, and had fantastic acting from all of the children involved. I was cheering the kids on constantly, and you could really believe their fear of Pennywise. I loved this so, so much. CW: Child deaths including on screen violence against children, depiction of bullying, heavily implied sexual abuse via parent/child incest.

* Pitch Black

It was a toss-up for a while whether putting this on here would be miscategorising it - is it more of a sci-fi action flick, or a sci-fi survival horror? - but based on the majority of the characters not being Riddick I’m going for survival horror. This is the perfect execution of a simple, brilliant concept, and it’s a delight. Plus, it has sympathetic Muslims in space, and I can’t ignore an excuse to cheer for that.

* [Rec]

This is another movie where I’ve heard good things about the English language adaptation but have only watched the original, and oh man, it’s fun. It’s not a film I consider particularly scary, but it has my hands down favourite protagonists of any found footage horror movie, and I love that the constant use of cameras makes sense in this one because it does start out as a documentary gone wrong. Also, the ending is a classic <3.

- - -

Movies I’m reccing but fully acknowledge their flaws:

* Candyman

Tony Todd is the man, dude, and it wouldn’t be right to make a horror movie rec list without having an absolute classic of his up on it. It’s wonderfully dreamy, packed full of that lovely late 80s/early 90s washed out aesthetic, and has one of the handsomest movie villains out there. 

* The Crazies (2010)

Virus outbreak movies are a dime a dozen, but for all that there’s little new here, it’s still one of the better ones, helped by a good cast playing the core group of survivors. Worth seeing if you’re a Timothy Olyphant and/or Radha Mitchell fan, and I love them both to bits, so.

* Event Horizon

A cult favourite with a ridiculously awesome cast (Sean Pertwee? Jason Isaacs? Laurence Fishburne? And more?), this does go over the top at points, but it is such a fun ride. You can see where games like Dead Space drew their inspiration from; it’s visually stunning, and the main characters are frequently (alas, not always) sensible. Also, regarding who dies/doesn’t die, if you haven’t seen it before, I think you’ll be quite pleasantly surprised? I know I was. CW: Explicit depiction of suicide, brief but explicit glimpses of sexual violence, references to child death.

* The Girl With All the Gifts

If you haven’t played or watched someone play The Last Of Us, this is well worth a watch. With the rise of zombies in recent media, no pun intended, it was inevitable there would also be a rise in how many showed the results of a zombie cure, or of intelligence in zombies. Cordyceps based zombies are rarer in media, and The Last Of Us used them brilliantly, but this is a good, solid film, bleak in some ways but hopeful in others, and I loved it. Also, Gemma Arterton is in it (as is Glenn Close, who is fab as always) and there are very few things I would not do for that woman.

* Grave Encounters

This isn’t a particularly good movie, but it is so much fun to play “spot the gif” with; there’s hardly a scene in it, once the ghostly shenanigans kick off, that hasn’t been put into gif format for use alongside creepypastas and the like all over the net. Girl turning around and face melting into blackness? Masses of hands pushing out through a wall suddenly? It’s just fun to spot them. Not to mention that, once in a while, it is fun to see a movie where the main characters are unironically Those White People In A Horror Movie and as such deserve pretty much everything that happens to them. CW: Ableism, ~scary mental hospital~ trope.

* Let Us Prey

This is a flawed film that could have been a great movie if it had been handled with a subtler touch. Some flashback sequences in it are more gratuitous than they need to be, and the end villain is just bizarrely over the top, but overall I love that it’s almost like a British-Irish take on Silent Hill? Liam Cunningham and Pollyanna McIntosh in particular, as the leads, are wonderful in it and bring a touch of class to something that could otherwise have just been a straight up hot mess. CW: References to child death, references to and flashbacks to sexual violence. Also, going to throw homophobia on here, because god knows I’m tired of the Evil Predatory Gay trope.

* Mandy

Placing this one anywhere on the list feels strange because it’s... this odd mixture of extremely beautiful and dreamlike, but also cult-classic over the top to the point of clearly being deliberately funny about it in places. I don’t quite know how it leaves me feeling on the whole, but I do know I absolutely love it. CW: Description of animal death, drugging, sexual harrassment.

* Silent Hill

This isn’t by any means a good movie, but I’d be lying through my teeth if I claimed it wasn’t one of my favourites regardless. It’s just ridiculously pretty, the music (courtesy of Akira Yamaoka being a genius) is amazing, and I will ship Cybil and Rose to the end of my days. Also, Pyramid Head, guys. Pyramid Head.

* Switchblade Romance (also known as Haute Tension or High Tension)

This French language flick is one of my favourite guilty pleasures. Most extreme horror bores me or leaves me cold, but there was something about this one I enjoyed despite it having plot holes you could drive a truck through; the lead actresses are fantastic, and it has some of my favourite uses of music in a modern horror movie. Please be warned though, this one has some very violent sequences, even in the cut version. CW: Child death, home invasion, continuous threat of sexual violence.

* We Are What We Are

This was a very unevenly paced movie, slow in parts and then jarringly fast in others, and some of the exposition felt clunky, but it’s overall a beautifully made movie and I was so drawn to the love between the siblings in this. I really felt like they were a real family, and was rooting for them so hard. CW: Cannibalism, threat of violence against children.

* The Wicker Man (1973, unless you want to watch the remake for so-bad-it’s-funny shenanigans. I won’t judge)

This is up there with Alien in terms of “even if you haven’t watched this movie, you have watched this movie” courtesy of pop culture referencing it every which way but loose, but it’s so worth a watch. I can’t recommend a particular cut because I’ve seen so many I wouldn’t know where to begin! It’s also kind of fun to enjoy it as a musical in its own way - there are so many songs in it that it’s hard not to sing along after a few viewings - and for all that the ending isn’t a shocker these days, it’s still so much fun to watch.

- - -

And a horror-comedy rec list to wrap things up:

* He Never Died

This is a great example of how you can do great things with a threadbare budget if you have a good idea and the confidence to commit to a concept. It is so, so funny, its humour sometimes dry, sometimes black as tar, and I just adored the main character’s absolute exhaustion with the world. I’m trying to sell this one without spoilers, because it’s another one where going in with as little info as possible is a good idea <3.

* Shaun of the Dead

It’s pretty much just the best ode to zombie movies and their inherent silliness that exists, and Simon Pegg is an adorable mess in it.

* Trick R Treat

My favourite horror anthology film by miles. It’s just fun. Aaaaaand the werewolf girls are hot af, soooooo. This also lets Brian Cox join Laurie Holden and Radha Mitchell on the list of people who managed to show up more than once in recced movies!

* Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

Aside from a few tonal missteps - references to sexual violence in the middle of a horror comedy, even if those references weren’t there as a joke, aren’t ever going to sit well - this film is hilarious, and frequently adorable too. Not to mention, it’s always nice to see a big guy get to be a hero.

- - -

Movies I need to update this list with:

The Lighthouse. CW: Explicit animal death, eye trauma.

Us. CW: Description of animal death, child deaths and self-mutilation.

The Endless. CW: Graphic suicide.

Midsommar. CW: Graphic suicide.

[keita52]

WIP meme

I was tagged by @goodbibarbarella and, since I used to do these, I figured it was about time to run it again. I’m limiting myself to stuff I’ve actually touched since the beginning of 2017.

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

Giant Crossovers Of Doom

No More Gallifreys (Mass Effect x Doctor Who) -- The Doctor (Matt Smith’s Eleven) shows up mid-ME2. Hijinks ensue. Currently working on Chapter 28.

Exodus Into Fire (Mass Effect x Battlestar Galactica 2003) -- Galactica and its Cylon allies (S4 mid-season cliffhanger) jump to Shepard’s Earth just as the Reapers are attacking it (opening of ME3). Currently working on Chapter 14.

(Both of these are Shakarian + other ‘ships.)

Ships Ahoy!

En’an’salen (Dragon Age: Inquisition) -- The follow-up to my take on a Modern Girl In Thedas. My series description:  Ilriane Ghilain was born in 12:08, in a future where things had worked out well for the elves. During an archaeological expedition in the Arbor Wilds in 12:38, she inadvertently traveled back in time over two hundred years before she was born... to the days when Suinassa Lavellan was leading a much-diminished Inquisition. The focus for this story is F!OC (Ilriane)/Cullen.

Untitled Alistair/F!Cousland wedding fluff -- For a prompt on the Kink Meme using the Cousland I created for another neglected prompt from my dear friend @yoruhiiragizawa

Love and Duty -- My Warden Brosca & Teyrna Cousland story. Nakita Brosca is the Warden, but Pellyn Cousland survives Howe’s treachery and comes to Denerim as a player in her own right. Has gone through many revisions. F!Brosca/Morrigan and F!Cousland/Alistair

Garrus’ Song -- An ode to Shakarian. The next chapter is full of steamy smut, so you’d THINK I could get that done quickly, but noooo. Sigh. One of these days.

Everything Else

Behind Blue Eyes (Mass Effect) -- TIM is FemShep’s father. Angst and scheming ensues. (FShakarian, but the main focus is on TIM & FemShep)

Untitled Ellen Ryder story -- Full of spoilers if you haven’t played Andromeda, and if you have, well, you can probably guess when this might take place. Originally my MEBB story before I had to drop out. (Background F!Ryder/Peebee)

Spectre Tali AU -- My first idea for an MEBB story, which I realized would be way too complex to plot and finish within the MEBB timeline. Part of the reason I dropped this idea was because I plotted a bit too well and came to a point where I was like “so... what is Spectre Tali actually needed for here??” (’Ships take a backseat to Tali being a badass)

Tags (sorry for multiple, if it happens) @acequeenking @threewhiskeylunch @cinnamonnebula @alyssalenko @havvke @yourlocalpriestess

[elenajohansenauthor]

Writing Tag Game

I got tagged by @jltillary a few days ago and I’m finally doing it. Thank you!

Rules: Answer the questions for your work. You can use different fics, and even WIPs. Don’t hesitate to link your stuff for the curious ones :) And tag writer friends to play along!

[I am not a fic writer, but I’m playing anyway. I think my last fanfic was when I was around eleven and I first saw Star Wars. I self-inserted myself as Luke’s long-lost sister, because I didn’t get to see the rest of the trilogy for a few months and find out about Leia!]

1/ Which scene/paragraph/sentence are you the most proud of?

Picking one is tough, but since I want to (mostly) avoid spoilers... For a moment, she just stood in front of the tent and marveled at him, her long-legged songwriter with his shaggy hair and beautiful hands and quiet, considerate heart. She’d had no idea love could feel this way. Maybe she should have tried it sooner. [What We Need to Decide]

2/ For which work/piece of work do you get comments telling how marvelous it is, while you’re not that enthralled by that piece yourself?

Hasn’t really happened, since I’ve only got the two books and I still love them both. In many years, maybe I’ll look back at them and cringe, but I’m not there yet.

3/ Which character highjacked the story they’re in?

Alison in What We Need to Survive. She actually didn’t exist in the first draft, but after a long, rambly talk with my husband about the plot obstacles I was facing, he pointed out I didn’t actually have an antagonist. Once I put her in, everything fell into place, since she not only was the antagonist, but Nina’s foil and Paul’s mirror as well.

4/ Which sentence/kind of sentence do you overuse?

Compound sentences with asides set off by em dashes. Em dashes are life. Em dashes are civilization. Em dashes are vital to space travel.

5/ Which work of yours would you be dying to get fanart for?

Any of it. 

[quoting jltillary’s answer in for that, because it’s true! I made a few of my own edits for some promotional stuff last year, but I’m so unknown I have yet to receive fan art.]

6/ Which work would you rather forget?

This absolutely wretched magical fantasy concoction I put together for my first or second NaNoWriMo back in my early twenties. It was awful. Overused tropes ahoy!

7/ Do you have a project you never got the nerves/guts to write?

I have a wlw/witchy romance idea [based on this flash fiction] but I am just not there yet on confidence. And another project that involves dragons, libraries, and telekinesis...you know, because.

8/ For which fandom have you written the most? (can be original fic, say if you count in terms of words, chapters or fics)

I think the only fanfic I’ve ever written was that one Star Wars one I mentioned. As for original fic, well, two books published and one about to be in Post-Apocalypse American Midwest^TM. But fret not, I didn’t put in any zombies.

I was going to, early on. But then I didn’t need them, and I thought zombie romance might be a bit more of a stretch than I wanted, in terms of genre-bending...

This was fun, so I’ll tag ANY WRITERS WHO SEE THIS AND WANT TO. Because I’m off to bed and too sleepy to actually tag peoples. You’re all lovely, good night.