#how many months have i been bleeding off and on but mostly on? well… too many

[zorosdimples]

i’m bleeding a concerning amount

[cuubism]

Dreamling Olympic Equestrian AU, the Sequel (less Olympics, more Equestrian)

-

Hob wished he could say he took a ‘reasonable’ approach to dating Dream after the Olympics. In actuality he basically just went home with Dream and never left. He helped him get Jessamy settled in, and then Dream wanted him to stay over, and then Hob made him breakfast the next morning, and then—

He did eventually have to go take care of his own horses, and generally get back to his real responsibilities, but it was done with reluctance. Damn him, but he’d immediately started missing Dream. Too attached, too quickly, that was always his way.

And then not a week later Dream had invited him to bring his horse and go on a hack, and, well. Maybe Hob wasn’t the only one being unreasonable about it.

Safe to say they had never really gotten rid of each other after that.

By the end of the year Hob did very much the opposite of getting rid of Dream. Which was to say, marrying him. He was now the proud owner of some very cliche wedding photos of them leaning over to kiss each other while on horseback. He wouldn’t change a thing.

Afterwards, they’d both sold their respective properties, pooled their resources—mostly Dream’s resources if Hob was being totally honest—and bought a place together.

Hob still remembers finding the farm on the market and taking Dream to see it for the first time. He’d been so excited for Dream to see it. Dream had such high standards and Hob had been sure they were going to have to compromise on something, but this property had everything Dream had ever expressed wanting in a farm and other things besides. Rolling fields and connections to nearby bridle paths. A massive indoor arena for riding in inclement weather. Three-sided shelters in all of the paddocks. Automatic waterers. Heated wash stalls. The damn floors were heated too, not that they used the stalls much, but Dream’s geriatric ponies would surely appreciate it come wintertime.

(Hob had been extremely charmed to learn, upon first visiting Dream's farm, that Dream still owned the incredibly fancy ponies Hob had correctly assumed he'd grown up riding as a child. They were now ancient and feral and tended to bite anyone other than Dream. It was delightful.)

Hob’s favorite part of the property was the house. It was set a bit off from the main barn, close enough to be an easy walk but out of the way of the traffic if one was to operate the place as a full-service livery. Dream had loved the cottage at Hob’s previous farm, and this house was much the same, quaint and cozy with its own pond and meandering garden path. It even had a screened-in patio for Dream’s persnickety cats to sunbathe.

It was all perfect. Dream had actually squealed when Hob brought him to see it. It was lucky Dream had money otherwise Hob would have probably done something illegal to afford the place just to see that look on his face every day.

Six months and an amount of money Hob didn’t want to think about later, they had their own farm and had started taking on clients. It should have been idyllic. In many ways it was. Jessamy and Hob’s retired event horse, Ellie, were getting along swimmingly in their big field. Dream’s feral old ponies were rampaging about the place. The amount of space was a bit dangerous, as Dream kept sending Hob photos of pretty horses for sale, saying we have the space for it, Hob. He didn’t seem to care that the prices of said horses were upwards of one hundred thousand pounds.

It was both a blessing and a curse to have married someone who came from money.

All the better to get clients in so the stable was actually making some money instead of just bleeding cash in exchange for more horses. And this was where the trouble began. Because Dream may have been disagreeable around people but he had a soft spot for troubled horses. And when troubled horses intersected with the clients that made them that way, well. That was how they got this.

“I was led to believe I’d be getting results,” Roderick Burgess was saying as Hob stepped into the arena, leaning against the wall to watch Dream ride. “Surely an Olympian should be able to do better.”

Hob grit his teeth, but didn’t say anything, yet. Dream could handle himself.

“If you don’t like my methods, you’re free to take your horse elsewhere,” Dream said. He was trotting the horse—its name was Ruby—in a big circle at the far end of the ring, riding on a long rein, just trying to get it to bend and loosen up its neck. It didn’t seem to be particularly easy for the horse, which was troubling considering a horse that had had ‘a few years’ of training—according to Roderick—should be able to at least do basic flatwork. And should be less stiff about it besides.

“We both know that won’t happen,” said Roderick. He was probably right—now that Dream was starting to get a sense of the horse’s poor prior training, he wouldn’t want to send it elsewhere—but Hob nevertheless wanted to walk over to Roderick and toss him out of the ring. Wasn’t the point of owning your own place that you could kick out clients you didn’t like?

“Perhaps if you’d been honest about his issues, we’d have better results,” Dream said, turning across the middle of the circle to change the bend. Ruby tossed his head, struggling with the change in direction, but Dream persisted in asking him to bend and eventually got him to drop his head again, now stepping up into a canter. “I was promised a horse at at least third level yet you’ve brought me one that struggles with basic self-carriage.”

Hob thought expecting any results yet was unreasonable considering it was only the first time Dream had even gotten on the horse. He’d only gotten it in last week, and just lunged it yesterday.

“You have to be more aggressive with him,” said Roderick dismissively. “Just make him do it.”

“Am I paying you, or are you paying me?”

And on it went like that, Dream working through his usual regimen, slowly building up the difficulty, Roderick nitpicking and criticizing all the while. Hob didn’t know what he really wanted. Maybe he just got a kick out of being an asshole.

Hob did love watching Dream ride, though. Watching him work with an inexperienced horse wasn’t nearly as seamless as it was when he rode Jessamy, but his patience and light touch were always a delight to behold.

Dream eventually took up his reins, gauging the horse’s ability to go around in a more collected frame. That ability was dubious at best, but Dream kept at it, working in circles of various sizes, transitioning up and down the gaits. He would get the horse where it needed to be eventually, Hob knew. If Roderick didn’t keep interrupting with unreasonable demands.

“Are you going to do any lateral work at all?” asked Roderick with annoyance, predictably interrupting again, and Hob could almost hear Dream’s jaw clench.

“Yes, I am getting to it. It’s a horse, not a racecar.” He turned the horse down the quarter line, lightly brushing the end of his whip, which Hob hadn’t seen him use yet, against its flank to ask it to step sideways and under.

And at the first touch of the whip Ruby exploded.

If Hob had looked down for even a second he would not have seen it move, it was so fast—the horse bolted sideways away from the whip, head thrown up, legs scrambling. Dream pulled back hard on the left rein, trying to stop through a turn, but Ruby just plowed right through it, tossing its head. Hob heard the bang as they—or more likely Dream’s knee—hit the arena wall, and then Dream yanked harder and managed to turn, spinning the horse into a circle until it was forced by the tight angle to slow to a nervy walk.

Hob had automatically lurched forward to try to help, but realized fast enough that rushing over would only make things worse. He watched, tense, as Dream finally brought Ruby to a halt. A lesser rider would have been thrown; Hob was glad Dream’s seat was better than that.

“Ah, yes,” said Roderick nonchalantly from where he was still sitting, ankle crossed over his knee. “He does not enjoy the whip.”

“Were you planning to inform me of that,” said Dream, out of breath, “before or after we went through a wall?”

“I would have thought you could handle it,” Roderick said.

Hob kind of wanted to punch him in the face. Instead he went over to Dream.

Ruby was standing stock still now, breathing hard, and let out a loud huff, nostrils flaring, as Hob stopped at Dream’s side. Dream scratched the horse’s neck.

“Are you alright?” Hob asked quietly.

Dream nodded, handing the whip to Hob, though his expression was pinched, and Hob worried for his knee. “Once more and then we’ll be done. I don’t want to end on that note.”

“You cannot let him get away with that,” said Roderick sternly, seeing Hob take Dream’s whip. “He must tolerate the whip.”

“And I’m sure persisting now will teach that effectively,” Dream bit back. “Do you want an explosive horse, Roderick? Because that is what you have handed me, and if you insist upon pushing the matter like this, you will only make it worse.”

“I hired you to fix it,” Roderick snapped.

“Then let me.”

Dream brought the horse back up to a trot, did a lap around the ring and then came down the quarter line again, this time asking him to leg yield over just by bending him around his leg. Ruby was tense now, jiggling the bit in his mouth and fighting Dream’s hand, but he did move over, and once they’d reached the wall Dream let him drop back down to a walk, letting his grip on the reins slide down to the buckle. Ruby snorted loudly, dropping his head to the floor as he walked anxiously on the long rein.

“You do not have to beat him to get what you want,” Dream said, turning to Roderick.

“You care too much about their feelings,” said Roderick dismissively.

“Not caring about their feelings has gotten you very far indeed,” Dream said back.

He halted the horse by Hob and hopped down, stumbling on the landing and leaning hard on his left leg. Shit. Hob knew he’d hit the wall. Goddammit, Dream.

Before Hob could take the horse from him, Roderick’s kid, Alex, crept into the arena and came over, eyeing his father as he did. Normally Hob considered Alex kind of a liability to have around the farm—he was convinced the kid was going to get himself kicked in the head at some point—but now he handed him the reins. It was Roderick’s horse, the two of them could deal with it right now.

“Make sure to walk him out,” Hob told Alex, and then, ignoring Roderick, who’d already focused on Alex, presumably to berate him for something, he wrapped an arm around Dream’s waist and led him out of the ring.

By the time they made it into the lounge, Dream was leaning heavily against Hob’s side, limping on his right leg. God, Hob hoped he hadn’t broken something. He could only imagine how long that sort of knee injury would take Dream out.

Hob sat him down on the couch. “Can I take a look at your knee?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Dream said, even as the corners of his lips were still pressed tight in pain.

“Dream, I heard you hit the wall from the other side of the arena.”

Dream sighed, but finally started unzipping his boots.

“Breeches, too,” Hob said.

Dream gave him a look but, having removed his boots, started stripping off his socks and black riding pants as well. He looked small like that, perched on the couch in just his black boxer briefs and short-sleeve polo. Hob winced at the sight of his knee. It had already turned horribly purple from his impact with the wall. Hob crouched by him to look closer, taking Dream’s ankle in his hands, turning his leg this way and that, carefully testing the motion. “How much does it hurt?”

“Tolerable,” Dream said, watching Hob intently. Hob mentally increased all of Dream’s descriptions by several degrees of pain. “I don’t think anything is broken, or sprained.”

Having looked closer, Hob didn’t think so either; he was pretty sure it was just bruised. A nasty bruise, though. “Should keep off it for a few days, though.”

Dream sighed, put upon, but didn’t contradict him.

“I’ll get you some ice.” He had ice wraps in the freezer, and pulled one out, laying it over Dream’s knee.

Dream’s lips twitched up in a small smile. “That is for horses.”

“Well, now it’s for humans, too.” He sat beside Dream on the couch as he iced his poor knee. “We should get it checked out if it’s not any better by tomorrow. Don’t want to risk permanent damage.”

Dream touched Hob’s shoulder with light fingers. Hob was, unfortunately, speaking from experience on this matter. Though in his case it had been less ‘deciding not to get it checked out’ and more ‘completely obliterating the joint to the point that it was kind of moot.’ Hob had shown Dream the video of that fall a while back. It was not a pleasant video.

He still had a mostly functional shoulder, though.

Fortunately, Hob didn’t usually have to worry about that happening with Dream. Having a horse flip on top of you was the kind of thing that was more likely to happen when you decided it was a good idea to gallop at solid objects. Which Hob had done. Frequently.

He was kind of glad he hadn’t married a fellow adrenaline junkie.

“I can’t believe Roderick put you on that horse knowing it was going to react like that,” Hob said. He really should kick the guy out. Prick.  

“Roderick created that reaction,” said Dream. “He hardly cares if it gets someone thrown, so long as that someone is not him.”

“I care!” Hob exclaimed. “It’s our fucking stable. He can’t just use you as a crash-test dummy.”

Dream raised an eyebrow. “I am not easy to crash.”

“That’s not the point, Dream. I’ll kick him out, I swear to God.”

“I can handle Roderick Burgess. And the horse. You needn’t protect me.”

“Maybe I want to,” said Hob. He took the ice off Dream’s knee and took another look at it. The bruise only looked more hideous. “Maybe part of being your husband is that I get to protect you.”

Dream touched his cheek fondly, but said, “If we send him away, he will only take the horse to someone else, and nothing will improve.”

Hob knew it was true. He would have just bought the horse and given it to Dream just to get Roderick off the property, but he was pretty sure Roderick would just take the money and go buy another one so that wouldn’t really accomplish anything in the end.

Hob was always going to end up doing what made Dream happy anyway.

“Just…” he rubbed Dream’s thigh, careful of the bruise. “Be careful. God only knows what else he’s taught that horse to do.”

“We will find out, I suppose. Roderick will not be happy with me, though. I intend to take the horse back down to basics. He will doubtless be furious.” He did sound somewhat satisfied by the thought of it.

“Roderick can get on the damn thing himself if he’s so upset,” Hob said.

“That would be entertaining to watch, though less so for the horse,” Dream said. “Perhaps he will make Alex ride it.”

Hob rubbed his forehead in despair. “God help us all.”

“Indeed.”

“You should go back to the house and rest a while,” Hob told him.

“First I want to make sure they haven’t managed to kill Ruby,” Dream said. He levered himself to his feet, handing Hob back the ice wrap. “Besides, I am fine.”

The way he limped about while pulling on his breeches and paddock boots belied that, but Hob knew better than to argue further. At least he wasn’t getting back on the horse.

He went with Dream—only limping a little bit now—out to the barn, where Alex was getting Ruby settled in his stall. Alex looked distinctly nervous brushing the horse down, but hadn’t managed to get it—or, more surprisingly, himself—killed yet, which Hob counted as a win. Roderick was nowhere to be seen, which was probably for the best.

“Did you walk him out?” Dream asked.

Alex nodded anxiously. He seemed intimidated by Dream—which, to be fair, was a common experience for most people. Hob frequently had to remind himself that the version of Dream he saw every day—curled up in the kitchen alcove with his tea and a cat on his lap, chasing his ponies around the barn, resting his head in Hob’s lap for Hob to play with his hair—was not the version most people saw.

Ruby seemed little worse for wear for his ordeal. Dream pet the horse’s nose fondly, and it tried to nibble at his palm.

“We’ll try again tomorrow,” he said, to the horse, now ignoring Alex. “We’ll sort it out, won’t we?”

Ruby just tried to nibble on his fingers again.

With another pat to the horse’s nose, but no more words for Alex, Dream strode away again. Hob followed. Once they were out of the barn, he caught up to Dream and scooped him up in his arms, Dream clutching at his neck with a squeak.

“I’m carrying you home,” Hob said, starting off for the house. “You’re not walking.”

“I am not an invalid,” Dream protested.

“Oh, I should put you down, then?”

Dream clutched at him tighter. “You would not dare.”

“Thought so.”

And so he carried Dream down the short walk back to the house. After all, Hob thought, this was the whole point. He couldn’t necessarily prevent Dream from getting on insane horses or dealing with insane clients. But he could be there at the end of the day to carry him home.

[arget-star]

By Any Other Name

Sakura Haruka x F!Reader

A/N: Alright SO. I know I am primarily a Fire Emblem blog. however, Wind Breaker took over my life in the span of like a week and I could not get this thought out of my head and well. here we are. Not beta read, this is my first xreader fic i've ever posted. i hope you enjoy!

tags: fluff, a tiny bit of blood, feelings

wc: 2k

about: You met Sakura about six months ago, and have essentially wormed your way into his little walled off heart. He comes home to your now (mostly) shared little apartment, battered and bloody after saving a girl who looked like you

You’re not living together.

That’s what Sakura says, despite the fact you stay over four nights out of the week, and somewhere in the six months you’ve been dating, half your stuff has ended up in his ramshackle little apartment. “You deserve better than a leaky faucet”, he’d said, cheeks red and nose scrunched in a scowl. You’d merely laughed, kissing his forehead before replying, “It adds to the charm.” And that was that.

You’re not living together. So why does he hope you’ll be there, curled up on that cheap little couch you’d insisted on bringing over, that lovely smile on your face as you greet him?

Those assholes must’ve hit his head harder than he realized. Sakura grits his teeth, an arm banded around his throbbing torso as he wobbles along the sidewalk. Weaklings, all of them. Acting tough solely because they have nothing better to do with their time. Seriously, it’s just plain pathetic.

He spits out a glob of blood into the nearby bushes. He doesn’t remember biting his cheek; maybe he’d ground his teeth against it after taking a particularly nasty kick while dodging someone else’s punch. Wasn’t he past his body locking up, his muscles moving with all the speed of a turtle?

The girl had been clutching the long strap of her purse with all her meager might while surrounded by leering thugs. The type of guys who coast by on looks rather than action. Intimidation instead of respect. At least now he’s able to articulate—better yet, understand—what pisses him off so badly about guys like that. Sakura would’ve leapt in regardless, but then he caught sight of her underneath the lamplight, and her shade of hair matched yours. The purse even had a keychain dangling from it, the charms jingling in faint alarm.

She wasn’t you, obviously. You were already home, had probably cooked something simple yet delicious and were keeping it warm until he arrived.

So he froze, mismatched eyes wide as a new type of fear unfurled within his chest, and then all hell broke loose. He knew how to protect someone in a fight, finally, and while the poor girl flattened herself against the side of a nearby building as he sent the idiots flying, his attention still kept flicking to her. He kept thinking what he’d do if it was you, and on one such slip of his concentration, that bastard’s boot came out of nowhere.

He’ll have to report this to Umemiya in the morning, and tell you all about it tonight, and—

Sakura looks up. He’s nearly there; the derelict building doesn’t seem so foreboding, especially once he catches sight of the warm yellow light on in his apartment. Maybe, just maybe, things won’t be so bad after all.

The doorknob wiggles. You carefully place your bookmark inside your book,  sitting up properly in your seat. Sakura’s home a bit later than usual—he probably got stuck eating at Café Pothos with everyone else. Good. You’re grateful he has so many friends, even if he acts like a cat who fell into a puddle of water about it.

“Welco—Sakura!” Your book tumbles from your hands in your haste to stand up. He stands in the doorway while you catalogue his injuries as if in slow motion. Blood drips down the left side of his face from a cut above his eyebrow. His nose is bleeding, too, running down his chin and staining his white shirt red. His knuckles are raw. It’s subtle; yet he sways, quickly placing his right hand against the wall to brace himself. The motion is enough to jolt you from your surprise.

You’re at his side in a blink. His reaction is sluggish; lips parting in belated surprise when you loop his right arm around your shoulders. Normally, he reads your movements almost before you make them, bracing himself for whatever contact you’re about to subject him to so he’s never caught off guard. But slowly, like water eroding rock, he’d learned that he can let his guard down around you, even at his most vulnerable.

Especially then.

“‘M fine,” he mutters out of reflex. You only scoff, walking him over to the couch with a small huff of effort. “Just a small fight.”

Carefully, you help ease him down onto the cushions, releasing your hold only once he’s settled. “A small fight?” You echo, disbelief in your tone. There’s no reprimand or ridicule, just a healthy doubt. He doesn’t know exactly when he stopped looking for the irritation he’s so used to hearing. Leaning his head back, he sighs. “Some guys were causin’ trouble. A new gang, I think. Trying to rob a girl—” he cuts off abruptly, and you watch his cheeks turn a brilliant shade of red, nearly blending in with the dried blood caking his skin. Sakura immediately looks away; he misses the knowing glint entering your expression.

Spinning on your heel, you head for the kitchen. The faucet doesn’t leak as badly now, after you’d finagled a temporary fix with determination and a healthy amount of internet research. He deserves more than a crappy sink, even if he won’t admit it. “You were by yourself?” You ask, opening the drawer and removing a towel. (Yet another item that had miraculously wound up in his space one day. When Sakura confronted you, you’d shrugged, then asked what he wanted for dinner.)

Sakura watches you for a moment, ignoring how something deep within his chest settles as you run the towel under cool water. It’s a familiar scene, enough that he no longer feels the urge to yell and raise his fists in defense. “Yeah. Nothin’ I couldn’t handle on my own.”

Strange. Suo-chan and Nirei-chan always shadow Sakura. Unless Sakura is going home—they haven’t invaded his space since the day they’d discovered him sick on the floor. Now, especially, Sakura would rip their heads off if they came snooping around while you were home. The faucet shuts off. You wring out the towel once, twice, then pad back over to the couch.

“I never doubted that, Grade Captain,” you tease, arranging yourself so you’re sitting on your knees. Drops of water drip down your wrist and onto the cushions below. His blush deepens, and you don’t bother hiding your smile. “Now hold still.”

“Shaddup,” he mumbles without heat. Instinct makes him shift back an inch; he’s always taken care of himself, alone. Sick, bruised, bloodied—he proved time and again he didn’t need anyone else. Then you breezed into his life, upending his entire world with your musical laughter and patient touch.

This is far from the first time you’ve patched him up. He no longer hisses and rages and scowls, a teenage version of a toddler’s temper tantrum, yet neither can he completely disregard a lifetime of gut reactions to others extending a hand in his direction.

You never minded when his hackles rose. You understood him, remaining endlessly understanding while he let his fear run its course. The damp rag hovers in the space between you and him. Sakura zeros in on the blue material instead of your face.

“Ready?”

That’s another thing. You ask him about things. Wait for his brain to catch up with non-dangerous situations. It’s weird, and scary, and wonderful.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

“You always are.”

The smile you give him is radiant. Your free hand cups his less bloody cheek, keeping him steady, while you tenderly press the rag to his chin. He hisses out a breath through clenched teeth.

It’s quiet, as you slowly clean him up, beyond the soft scrap of material against skin. There’s a rhythm to your movements. Sakura finds it soothing, despite the circumstances. You both study each other; Sakura, like you’re a puzzle he’s still trying to solve, and you, like he’s something precious.

His golden eye truly is beautiful. He told you others have compared it to twilight, but you think it’s more akin to burnished gold. Rare, and infinitely treasured. He closes it, keeping it safe from harm as you run the now pink-tinged cloth over his browbone. A shame, you think, he keeps himself so locked away.

The slight pressure leaves his face. You move back, giving him room to breathe, holding the rag loosely in your hand. His eye opens again, a coin glinting in a riverbank.

“There,” you say, unfolding yourself from the couch, brushing your thumb across his cheek before you release him completely. “I’ll be back with the first aid supplies.”

Sakura just nods. He never says the words thank you; but you hear it in the way he lets you take care of him, how he takes your hands so reverently in his once your all finished, cradling you like he’s afraid you’ll snap in half if he squeezes too hard.

You’re opening the cabinet underneath the sink when he speaks again. “She looked like you.”

He says it so quietly, you nearly miss it. You freeze, half-bent down to reach for the ridiculous amounts of bandages and antiseptic bottles stashed neatly in their respective baskets. (Another thing you’d changed one day, much to Sakura’s initial chagrin, until he’d stumbled home covered in half a dozen cuts on the rare day you weren’t waiting for him, and found everything he needed without cursing his lack of organization.)

Mechanically, you grab the necessary materials. You’d assumed as much, based on his reaction when you told you the cause of his current state. A shudder runs down your spine as you imagine what the other guys must look like, lying defeated in the street. Sakura doesn’t fight just on behalf of someone else—at least, that what helps him sleep at night, though you know his tune has changed after all his experiences with Bofurin. For him to fight on your behalf, however tangentially related, makes your heart flutter.

Kotoha will practically jump for joy when you tell her.

For now, you let this newfound knowledge settle into your skin, your fluttering heart, smiling to yourself as you exit the bathroom, arms loaded with supplies. “Did she, now?”

Sakura’s sitting upright, head down, once again avoiding your gaze. His fingernails dig into the fabric of his school pants. Beneath the curtain of two-toned hair, you can see the blush sitting high on his cheeks. It’s a miracle they’re not permanently stained pink.

“Y-yeah. I knew she wasn’t you, but for a moment…I need to teach you how to defend yourself. I can’t patrol everywhere, and I’m not the strongest yet. Anyone from Furin will keep you safe, but if we’re not around—”

This is new. You swallow, setting the first aid supplies down on the tatami, sitting down with your legs crisscrossed. (One day, you’ll convince him to buy a table, but there’s only so much furniture you can squeeze in such a tiny place.)

“Sakura,” you say, but he doesn’t hear you.

“—I need to know you can take care of yourself until I get there—”

“Sakura.”

“—and send them all flyin’—”

“Haruka.”

That shocks him into silence. He inhales, then looks up sharply, lips curling into the angry snarl you know so well. It’s his only defense mechanism, beyond his fists, and he’d never raise those at you. (That thing lodged within his chest stirs again. No one��s called him by his given name in years. It feels right, that here, in this space you two have created together, you should use it.)

He’s quite the sight, half patched-up and spluttering mad. One eye darkens like a storm at sea; the other kindles into molten gold, ready to burn any who get in his way.

You’re surprised, too. But you didn’t know what else to do. He’s never spiraled like this before, and it hits you that for perhaps the first time, he was genuinely scared for someone else. You shake your head, breaking eye contact, and reach for the gauze. “I’m sorry, Sakura. I should have asked before using your first name.”

Your fingers shake only a little when you grab the nearest antiseptic, flipping open the cap with your thumb. He watches it all, struck dumb. He doesn’t want an apology. He wants you to say it again, but he doesn’t know how to ask.

All of the fight leaks out of him. His shoulders slump forward. Haruka. Haruka. You hadn’t said it in disgust, or fear, or hatred. If he had to guess, you sounded concerned. Haruka. “I liked hearin’ you say it,” he replies.

A laugh bubbles out of you, born from nervous relief. You nearly spill antiseptic all over you instead of the gauze. “Really? May I call you Haruka, then? Not all the time…just here.” Rising to your knees, you crawl over to him, taking one battered hand in your soft one.

His throat tightens. An odd pressure builds behind his eyes. “Fine.”

“This’ll sting,” you murmur in warning, almost like an afterthought. “You can use mine, too. If you want.”

Sakura’s about to respond, tell you he’ll do it if it’ll make you happy (and make his own heart beat a little faster), but then the gauze descends onto his split knuckles. It’s not like eating a kick to the face; it barely registers in comparison.

Maybe it’s the emotions he’s kept bottled up since the fight. Maybe it’s the fact you called him Haruka and the world didn’t explode. Both things, he assumes, and that’s why your healing touch hurts worse than a dozen roundhouse kicks.

It fades, after that first bright burst.

Neither of you say anything again while you continue your ministrations. Once his knuckles are taken care of, you move on to his face, tenderly smoothing his bi-colored bangs off his forehead to ensure no strands get caught underneath the small bandage you apply to the cut above his eyebrow.

The entire time, he replays this strange evening over and over again in his head. It all leads back to you, caring for him, using his first name like it’s nothing when it in fact means everything. He hates himself, a little bit, for not being better at this.

For your part, your focus on him turns clinical. You can deal with the emotional part of it later. When you’ve finished with the last bandage, you stare at him a moment. Take in this boy who pushed away the entire world when it wrote him off, the very same boy who harbors no malice in his heart, just kindness hidden by anger.

You press a soft kiss to his lips, then slide away before he can reciprocate. He splutters again, blush back in place, and it’s such a Sak—Haruka thing to do, you bite back a laugh.

“Are you ready to eat, Haruka? You get hungry after a good fight.”

He offers you a rare smile in return.

[lucabyte]

ppl saying they look to my comics for inspiration and pointers on how to format things is WILDDDD to me (and delightful don't get me wrong!! i am overjoyed) because like. none of you are privvy to the absolute WAHHH I DONT WANNNAAA bitchfits i was *CONSISTANTLY* throwing every time i forced myself to make a comic before i got into isat. like no joke. i considered comics such a fucking difficult medium they always drained my drawing energy so hard because they always felt like they took sooo long and had so many moving parts and were so much harder than storyboards (WHICH I ALREADY STRUGGLED WITH) because you had to account for panel shape and speech bubbles and-- like you get it. but genuinely for real. the sheer amount that i complained whenever i clawed my way through drawing a comic (which thus! was not very fucking much!!) compounded by the fact that i *genuinely have trouble reading comics*. as in, i really struggle to parse the flow of contiguous movement or action between panels (possibly connected to the fact ive got mad aphantasia?) of even really well done best-of-the-best professional comics...

... BUT. basically. what im trying to get at is. if you wanna learn to draw comics, evidently you super can?! I genuinely *didnt* draw comics before drawing isat fanart! I have no idea what it was about ISAT fanart that made it finally click for me? (I think it was... not having to think about colour? Removing a step from the process really helped. Plus, it being fanwork meant I could just start en-medias-res and not have to think about setup... Trying to cram too much explanation and setup into my oc stuff was always a big hurdle too...)

I find them fast to do now! and damn if i dont value speed in art (<- impatient little fucker). its still going slowly on my oc comics.. mostly due to the colour again, i think. but it's not extremely, ecruciatingly difficult anymore. is what im saying. and im genuinely baffled by it every time i put pen to page. its fucked up. did you guys know that practice makes things easier? . fucking perverted if you ask me.

As for looking at other people's things for inspiration. if you want to know where I was looking when I was piecing together the first couple fancomics I did for ISAT i want to specifically point at . well besides everything rebecca sugar has ever done (for hands and facial expressions *especially*), the main person i really dug into the work of was Leo Fox (Website link). I feel like i wanna point people to the source of a lot of the inspiration for my more off-kilter panel choices so you all can get the full experience rather than through my regurgitated mimesis. I'm now at the point where i can wing panel layout so i wasn't in there for longgg but. everyone go add it to your knowledge banks as for SUBJECT MATTER aka why i am i so deranged. those are squarely the 2019 postcanon homestuck golden era bleeding through my CLENCHED BITTEN DOWN JAW. A BULL TERRIER ON YOUR BRACHIAL ARTERY. namely that @/floralmarsupial and @/tomatograter's works (no i am not tagging them . im shy) are things i go back to frequently and floralmarsupials pure black/white inktober comics were *especially* an inspiration. if you've been following me a few months you may remember me reblogging a bunch of their stuff from 2019~2021 for seemingly no reason. this was why. The narratively divorced reality of jade strider & Liminal Space are big in my mind here. I balk to call myself anywhere near as good as these but these are what i'm aiming for, tonally and quality-ways with it. also detective pony but ive mentioned that already and thats farrrr too inside baseball for this post.

BUT YEAH TL;DR: I DIDNT DRAW LIKE ANY COMICS UNTIL UHHHH LIKE, WHAT, LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO? JESUS. ANYWAY. THIS MEANS YOU 🫵🫵🫵 CAN DO IT TOO. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DATTEBAYO!!!!

[tunafishy333]

It's 2am and I was struck by inspiration

MBJ X og SQH, anyone?

~~

Shang Qinghua was young and stupid, when he met Mobei Jun. At that time, his parents couldn't care less about him. Sure, they were well off, coming from a merchant family, and they did more or less pay for his education, but they never actually cared.

His older brother was the genius inventer, the golden goose, the one that actually brought in the money with his creative mind. Compared to him, Shang Qinghua was always a disappointment. Never mind the logistics and calculations necessary to even bring those ideas to fruition. Never mind all of the hard work that he put in to make sure his brother remains the top merchant in their city, to make sure his family is always drowning in indulgence.

All they saw, was an obstacle, someone constantly shooting down ideas, poking holes, and yapping about budgets. He lacked filial piety to boot.

So, of course, as soon as he was of age, they had kicked him out of the house with this or that excuse - the youngest son wishing to strike out on his own, with grandours and dreams that he too would become a renowned merchant.

He spits.

Pei! What bullshit.

Everybody knows that it was nearly impossible to strike out as a lone merchant. What can I even do, without a family or a name to back me up? I might as well go and try to become an immortal at this point!

Shang Qinghua knows that to make money, you first have to have money; and they definetly did not throw him out with enough money to last a month, never mind establishing a business.

So, betrayed and spiteful, Shang Qinghua did something incredibly stupid when he came across the ice demon. He almost tripped over him, too busy cursing his brother's name under his breath.

Dishonor on your cow!

Turning to see what was under the brush, he saw the prone form of the ice demon, young looking, but bleeding with an ice spear sticking out of it's stomach.

He crouches down next to it, nothing to lose, except maybe for his life. Which, at least his life would've been worth something to someone if the demon kills him, even if it was simply prey for a predator.

Well, you don't look much like a predator like this huh? Betrayed and left to die.

"Huh. Just like me," he muses.

The demon does not stir. Cautiously, he reaches a hand out and closes around the wrist of the hand he just tripped over, checking for a pulse.

Still alive, but probably not for long, considering this heat.

It was mid-day on a summer's day, cicadas chirping loudly as the sun beams down brutally. To Shang Qinghua, it was an incredibly hot morning that was only going to get hotter as the day goes on. Surely, for what looks like an ice demon, swaddled in furs and blue leather, it would be lethal.

I wonder, If I helped you...

Sucking in a breath, Shang Qinghua, reaches out, a stupid idea forming in his head, and hauls the demon over his shoulder, half piggy backing him, half dragging him. He can't go to the city, but he remembered passing an abandoned temple down the road that could serve as a shelter.

...how would you repay me?

~~

Notes:

inspired by that one scene from pennydaniels' fic "we should stick together" where og SQH goes to greet the newly engaged SJ and upon noticing the servants and cushy life that marriage to a himbo granted SJ, goes: hmmm, this could be me...

but obviously I didn't write that because I didn't know how to do that yet, so you get og moshang meeting instead

I've read so many fanfics that it all kinda blends together at this point but SQH backstory and family dynamic is head cannon that is mostly inspired by Feynite

[broken-clover]

Solaxl Week- Day 4

Haha get befuddled, you assumed I was gonna do hurt/comfort, didn't you? Well, I'm doing something different!...mostly bc I couldn't think of any ideas I hadn't already done before.

It was fun to give these two a slightly different dynamic, because a lot of the gruff op solitary behavior of Sol couldn't happen back when he was a kid, and his knowledge of music and inclination for the sciences indicates that as a young'un he was probably a massive nerd. Axl, meanwhile, seems like he was always a little scrappy brat. Don't need an education to be a delinquent. It's fun having Sol be the one out of his league and awkward for once.

4- Band AU, Hurt/Comfort, Snowball Fight

-

It didn’t matter how much college prep bit into his schedule, he still wasn’t giving up on band. Frederick refused to give up on one of the few things that still made him happy.

With how studying had begun bleeding into any snippets of free time he had left, some corners still had to be cut. Study hall had been the most recent casualty, following in the footsteps of lunch period. Sure, he still brought food, but as soon as the bell rang, he’d tuck his books under one arm and head for the band storage closet. It had been his routine for a couple months now. He knew how it was supposed to go. Drop his stuff at the door, flick the switch, head for the guitar rack. Maybe a bite or two of lunch could get squeezed in. It depended on how he felt.

Frederick halted, staring. For the first time, he’d arrived in a storage closet that was occupied by more than just inert instruments.

“You can’t be in here.”

“Eh?”

The guy was perched on the chair’s two back legs- his chair, the same one he used every single time. That alone was enough to veer his confusion into annoyance. Frederick didn’t recognize him, but in fairness, it was a big school. The more he looked, the guy looked less and less familiar and more and more greasy.

Perhaps he didn’t want to sit in that chair after all.

“Was just chillin.’” The stranger replied, shrugging.

Frederick shuffled uncomfortably from foot to foot, unsure of what to do with his routine interrupted. “Band isn’t until sixth block, nobody’s supposed to be in here.”

“Yeah? So why’re you, then?”

It felt rather ass-backward to have his own motives questioned, but he chose not to say it, or to start a shouting match. He still had a bit of a reputation for being asocial, but not a total delinquent (in part because if he ever tried that, his parents would never let him live it down)

“I just came down for practice,” he replied. “Are you in study hall? I had all my work finished, so they let me go.”

The other boy snorted. “Heh! Nah, supposed to be in calc. Boo-ring. Hopped out the window, just gonna hang out here until lunch.”

Frederick was definitely sure he hadn’t met this person before. The rough edge to his voice and the thick accent was hard to mistake for someone else.

It suddenly struck him that there were only so many more minutes before the next class started, and he’d already wasted too many talking. Trying to regain some semblance of normalcy, Frederick left his books at the door and dragged a chair off of the pile by the wall. The rhythm of routine almost let him forget the intrusive stranger until he’d sat down again. The guitar’s weight was familiar in his lap, as was the music stand placed before him, but beyond the top of his sheet music, he could still see the guy staring at him with an oddly curved smile.

“Can’t you do that somewhere else? I don’t want someone to walk in and think I’m associated with you.”

“Why not? I’m awesome!”

“You’re a pain.” Frederick strummed the strings and felt along the instrument’s neck to tune one of them. “And I don’t want to get in trouble because of you.”

The other boy leaned forward in his seat, expression halfway between amused and angered. “Bloody hell, are you forreal? You’re one of those guys?”

Frederick paused his tuning. “What do you mean, ‘one of those guys?’”

“One of those little whiny crybabies that gets all bent out of shape just thinkin’ about getting told off. Lemme guess, you’re a straight-A student? Can’t even think about getting anything less than a hundred on everything?”

B-plus, and his parents wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. “M’not taking life criticism from someone who can’t sit through simple math for half an hour. What, does playing delinquent make you feel special?”

“I do it ‘cause I feel like it, you can’t tell me what to do!” Though his voice stayed steady, Frederick could see how the stranger was starting to go red. “And I’m not takin’ this kinda flak from someone who’s probably too much of a teacher’s pet to even swea-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

To his credit, he automatically did, too startled to speak. Frederick kept his scowl for a few moments more, then gave the guitar another strum. It sounded a lot better. He looked back to his sheets and tentatively repeated the first couple of notes…all the while he could still see himself being watched. He sighed in annoyance. “Like I told you already, I don’t want people to think we have anything to do with each other. Can you just hang out somewhere else?”

“Tch.”

Not much of an answer. The proper answer seemed to come in the form of the stranger sliding off his chair and cracking his neck. Instead of heading for the door, though, Frederick watched him approach the instruments. For a moment, he wondered if he’d start smashing things just to cause trouble.

“Well, then we will have something to do with each other, then!” He swiped another guitar off of the next hanger over. The chair he’d just been sitting in was hip-checked over closer to Frederick’s, and sat down far too close for his personal taste. “Whattaya playing? Got a second copy?”

Frederick jerked back. “You trying to breathe down my neck? Dammit, and be careful with that, don’t break anything! Do you know what you’re doing in the slightest?”

“Oh, you shut the fuck up, bloody poindexter.”

Before Frederick could think of sending a jab back, he was interrupted as the stranger started to play. The first few notes were rough, but…he hadn’t seen anyone else in band handle a guitar so carefully. Personal appearances were one thing, but Frederick had enough experience to recognize someone familiar with a guitar. And even if it wasn’t his favorite band, he’d recognize the iconic twangs of Cream’s ‘Sunshine of Your Love’ in his sleep.

He couldn’t hold back an impressed whistle. “Wow. Not bad, dirtbag. Surprised it wasn’t grunge.”

“Grunge’s fine, but I didn’t wanna scare ya~” Though he still had a smugness about him, Frederick could feel a little more warmth in the stranger’s tone. “So whatta you play?”

I like the classics.” He replied with pride. “Queen’s the best.”

“Nice, same boat. Folks tell me I like ‘dad music’ ‘n I tell ‘em their taste’s shit.” Frederick was offered a hand. “Guess you ain’t all bad. ‘m Axl, Axl Low.”

He took what was offered and shook. “Frederick Bulsara.”

Axl started to laugh. “Of course yer name’s Frederick.”

“H-hey, stuff it. I don’t believe for a second ‘Axl’ is your real name, either.”

“Okay, okay, I get it, Freddie. So, you said you came down fer practice, this a hobby?”

Frederick adjusted himself in his chair, settling the guitar across his lap. “Kinda. I like doing it for fun, but band class gives it a little more structure. And I’ve been doing it long enough that Professor Ringo lets me submit songs for us to do. Don’t think I’ve seen you in the orchestra, have I?”

“Don’t do band.” Said Axl. “Don’t like ‘em tellin’ me what to play. But I guess if you’re doing good shit this semester…”

“Yeah, here, lemme show you the stuff I got- “

The moment he tried to reach for his sheet music, the bell began to ring. Frederick looked down at his watch. “Shit, how’s it been that long?! I didn’t even get any practice in!”

Axl snickered, taking both of their guitars and putting them back on the rack. “Careful, Freddie, people are gonna think you’re some kinda delinquent, late for class and using dirty words like that.”

“Oh yeah, you’d know all about that-” He frantically gathered his things, shoving the music stand back with the others. In his haste, he’d forgotten to take the sheet music off first, and the motion sent them flying “Dammit!”

“Got it, I got it,” Axl knelt down and started gathering them up. From his pocket came a cracked pen. Frederick didn’t have a chance to say anything before he’d already started writing something on one of the papers.

“What are you doing? Don’t mess it up!”

“Chill, yeesh.” Once his self-appointed task was finished, Axl handed everything back to its owner. “Just giving you my contact info. Uh, hey, drop me a text later, got it? Dunno how to sign up for classes, maybe you could show me? Or heck, just send me some vids of the stuff you play, I wanna see your technique.”

He spoke too fast for Frederick to keep up. “Huh? What- “

“See ya, mate!”

Though he was still worried about next class, he was too bewildered to do anything but stare at the empty doorway where Axl had just been. Turning over the stack of sheet music, sure enough, there was a string of numbers and under the strange boy’s name.

What a peculiar encounter. He still wasn’t sure what to make of it. Though he did have a softer spot for someone who could appreciate the classics. Maybe it would be worth keeping in contact? When he had a moment between classes, Frederick would try to memorize Axl’s number and put it into his contacts…He’d have to ask why there had been a scratchy heart scribbled next to it, anyway…

[chaoticcutiewhirl]

New Intro 3.0

We have been putting this off for a long while now but now its time to do this, and simply to say, we are a plural system that uses the collective name of "The Whirl Production House", Ava, or Whirl, and if you know us you know there is a tendency for us to be quite nerdy or atleast a collection of dorks obessed with more artistic endeavors. If you want to find us elsewhere here is our linktree:

Also before you look, to note is that we do have commissions, and before the link tree here is the comms sheet and feel free to message me if you want to possible support a disabled Transwoman

And beyond this it should be noted we are mostly a grouping of differing levels of otherkin sort of deals ranging between those of us who are fictives to those who are kins with very little shifting beyond that if at all. Mentioning that we should probably shift into introductions of individual members of our collective. I will say individual members because we are more so at the multiple end of the plural spectrum of things where its kinda easy to tell there are several of us up here, without bleed-through unless we are feeling blendy/foggy on who is fronting.

Also something to note, we gernally do not fall into Plural related labels and are still early in the processes of System stuff even though its been a few months since syscovery. Part of the reason is because the only ones of us that care about assigning labels feel we do not know enough to label everything, only using labels we do have an idea of working as apart of our system. Will those labels be disclosed? Not in this post atleast.

A Quick Rundown

We are the Whirl Production House system or Whirlproductions, a system to which is still figuring shit out who has an open mind to things so to get syscourse out of the way we are Pro Endo. I will say I am not afraid of blocking people as we generally do not care what you think but if you are annoying there is a way to make you shut up on our feed or notifs. Beyond that we generally face things with caution and are still learning about many things, we have a few ideas on who is what kind of roles but I will not share them and for origins I will say its either unknown or a mixture of several probably, with stress being a detriment at times and is part of the reason why we are not out publically about the Trans stuff alone IRL. We stress easily and have chronic illness (Some form of lung related thing as well as Fatigue) so if we are slow on the uptick please keep that in mind.

Headmates

Sylvia

Art by @/BunBunTushie on Twitter

Name: Sylvia S. / Sylvia Drake

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Demisexual-Lesbian

Kins: Mojave Sidewinder Rattlesnake, Sylvia Drake [Mice Tea]

Noting about Kins for Sylvia is that both are practically just who she is, as there are very few shifts out and when there is, it usually during hours of blurriness or questioning that leads to her questioning more of who she is, but being Sylvia Drake is basically the summary of her being

Age: Early to Mid-20s (Bodily we are 20 tho)

Likes: Writing, Looking at pretty art, doing research, music, Science Fiction (There is a lot), Westerns, TTRPGs, and Entertaining others

Dislikes: All Medical situations, Stress, People our body is related too by blood for the most part, Getting Yelled at, How the US Schooling system is set up

Tag: 🐍 Sylvia

Lucinda

Art by @observerkaine (Found you >:3)

Name: Lucinda

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Lesbian

Kins: Desert Hare, maybe Burnice White (ZZZ)

Age: Early 20s (Most coincides with the body's Age)

Likes: Art, Talking, Silly demeanors, Comedy, and Color theory

Dislikes: Loud noises, too many things to do, Time, and those who domineer a situation without consideration for others whether its through emotional or physical means, Awkward silence

Tag: 🌵Lucinda

Rowan

Art by @guacheenim (Oh Hey you are on here, hiya again.)

Name: Rowan

Pronouns: She/They/Xe

Sexuality: Asexual

Kins: Spider (Unspecified), Drider/Rachnae-like creatures

Age: Range of around the 30s

Likes: Quietness, Reading, Baking, Solitude, Safety and relaxation for all of us

Dislikes: Percieved threats, Stressors, People getting hurt, feeling useless

Tag: 🕸️Rowan

Kade

Art by @/D3monicY33n on Twitter

Name: Kade

Pronouns: He/She/They (Genderfluid)

Sexuality: Likes men and sometimes butch women

Kins: Carpet Shark

Age: Early 20s (Unconfirmed but lines up most with Lucinda in matching the Body

Likes: Being flamboyant, Piercings, Punk Subculture related music, 18+ stuff is especially tied to them

Dislikes: Feeling restricted, Fronting (Could be related to the first part),

Tag: 🦈Kade

Avarstia

Art by us... (May be replaced by digital art at some point tho lol)

Name: Avarstia Furhenbrook

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Lesbian

Kins*: Not actually a kin, she is a fictive of an OC we have of the same name and is legitimately said character and has helped greatly write the books she is involved with. In other words she is a Half-Demon, Goddess of Death, Winter, and Time who just somehow ended up here

Age: Given what is said above would it be surprising to say she is somewhere in her 700s on the mental side

Likes: Reading, Talking, Philosophy, Thought Expirementation, Writing, Observing, Storytelling

Dislikes: TTRPGs (She finds them boring), Menial tasks, Repetition, Staying in a single place for too long, Ideas of immortality or preventing decay,

Tag: 💀Avarstia

Fionn / Yang Xiao Long

Official Render from the Volume 8 episode of RWBY, "Refuge" (Will say there is divergence from canon in how she looks however)

Name: Yang Xiao Long

Aliases: Fionn

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Lesbian

Kins*: Again as the shift with Avarstia shows, she is again falls under the aspect of being a Fictive in our system, she diverges from canon in the aspect that she is atleast blind in one eye in headspace as well as having a couple of Faunus features being her ears and tail, being a sort of draconic Faunus. Also Dragon Kin

Age: Early to mid 20s (Notably younger than Sylvia when we feel numbers are accurate)

Likes: Engineering, mechanics, learning about weapons and historical combat, comedy, Energetic music (Mostly rock and punk), helping others in any sense really

Dislikes: Feeling powerless, being Frontstuck (Its been almost 800 days by the time of drafting this), Biological family, others feeling bad, being objectified.

Tag: 🐲 Yang / Fionn

🐉 is also sometimes used as apart of her tag

Dendro

Art by Miranda Mundt, within the webtoon "Muted" (Again may update this when we have art on hand that is more to our preference)

Name: Dendrobrium, Dendro

Alias: Delphi

Pronouns: She/It

Sexuality: Demisexual-Lesbian

Kins*: She is again a Fictive of the character of Dendro from the webtoon Muted, with the main change between her appearance there and what is in our headspace being that she is more of a combination of Desert flora

Age: 300s, again like Avarstia she is a bit older but Dendro did mention it is an estimate given the time difference between Trea and Earth, but will say in source that is not a detail stated.

Likes: Plants, Gardening, Staying Healthy, existing beyond the confines of the place we live, being around people, learning

Dislikes: The body's Chronic Illness, the Desert Heat, and generally the urban areas of Arizona being the way they are.

Tag: 🌸 Dendro

Ceroba Ketsukane

Art by us but will note you can find Ceroba when she uses Tumblr on @kitsunetragedy

Name: Ceroba Ketsukane

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bi with a femme lean

Kins*: Again she is basically just a fictive of Ceroba from Undertale Yellow, with the only difference being that she has two tails

Age: Older than Rowan, younger by far than Dendro, Monsters age slower than humans just an exact age is not really set mentally but she is older.

Likes: Thrillers and Romance, Art of her source, Cuddlable things, Older music (50s-70s), Calm and quiet situations

Dislikes: Abrasive clothing, People who are quite rude, Failure

Tag: 🦊Ceroba

Note: Ceroba does not front much and is at moment of writing the newest member of our system so this will likely be updated at some point

Members who will not be given great detail

This section is mainly here because of system members who have either been identified or appeared once and haven't been active at really all and we do not know if they are apart of our system still or if their existence is confirmed outside of small blips:

Duana - Moth monstergirl who kinda was the main one angry at everything and was the host for a bit before Sylvia and Lucinda took the reigns, was noted as a member pre-syscovery by those who knew the system was a thing sort of passively back then and she hasn't reappeared in a long time.

Aria - Robot girl who appeared once for like half a day before disappearing into the ether of our brain, do not know if she was a fragment with more of a sense of self or if she is a headmate but she is logged on our SimplyPlural

Clémente Dearworth - Yaelokre Fictive, who appeared in our system very recently and is a middle

Nicole Demara - ZZZ Fictive, who also appeared in our system very recently. And is active, this may get updated again to add her to the main list of things. 🩷

??? - A third pressence of recent editions is known but is unknown.

Questioning on if they are Kins or Members of our System

Mentzelia Laev (OC), its less so feeling like we get too into the mindset of the character, its generally an aspect closer to Clemmie where I feel there is a potential Kin but its more further back, or maybe being someone who is currently not active in the system. Either way Bug Lady had a specific sense of self that has not changed much and would explain the like autumn we were obsessed with blacksmithing and medieval weapons.

Lethica Nightborne (Legends of Avantris, Edge of Midnight), This one is more of a situation where I do not know but suspect she could potentially be like one my brain has picked up upon in a similar sense to Avarstia, Ceroba, and Dendro, a character who is more of a comforting pressence than similar tracks of trauma.

Vash the Stampede (Trigun), this one I think is or will be a kin, I do not see the aspect of them as a headmate being likely given the difference in thoughts but I feel atleast someone in our system will be a kin of Vash... Just has those vibes.

Falin or Marcille (Dungeon Meshi), Again I feel its more of a kin but its somewhere as it was a moment months ago admist the whole identity crisis of syscovery, that I ended up going on a spree and you can check my Tumblr back in April to see it, we were still figuring things out so I have no clue who it would have been. Either way, I feel it may come back again when Dungeon Meshi season 2 drops given the more laxed nature of it all atm.

Burnice White (Zenless Zone Zero), a new one and is the first documented adition. There has been a back and forth between her being a kin or the budding of a headmate, but either way, one tie to Lucinda.

In other words do not be surprised if we update this post to mention them beyond this section, whether as a offhanded mention of a Kin or as apart of our system full on. This section may be updated or maybe not I will say though.

Other Information

Honestly I do not really know what else to add for y'all to know but if you wish to ask anything I may add tags or whatnot down here to give you all an idea of what we do such as possibly using the same tag we use on Bluesky and Twitter for art being:

#AvarstiaArt - Art posts by us

Beyond factors such as that feel free to send in asks and one of us may respond with an answer or whatnot.

[aamy2100982]

Warning about sensitive topics⚠️ (mostly topics about depression and self-injury)

long post

I don't normally picture Eddie self-injuring the way most people think when they talk about a person with depression self-injuring. Especially because Eddie is such a narcissistic person that he does not allow himself to have that level of weakness and when he is at that critical point he goes directly to taking suicide as an option.

Eddie is the kind of person who injures himself completely unconsciously, the next level of unconsciousness. I can imagine Eddie using the excuse of getting stronger to lift weights until his body feels useless or not eat healthy food until he deserves it, not stop doing a task until it's done, not sleep until he passes out

modes of self-injury that are not directly hurting your body with sharp objects that make you bleed, a self-injury method that consists of not getting something until you "really deserve it". This method of self-injury is evidently inherited from his father issues and he has never been good enough for his father. I think in the comics it was said three or four times that Eddie wasn't always the stocky, muscular man we know today, he was a short, skinny nerd who was good at all subjects, with the idea of ​​being outstanding in all intellectual and intellectual fields. so make his father proud (spoiler: it didn't work)

A goal that I'm sure put Eddie through a lot of stress, turn in school work always on time, do extra homework to ensure better grades, participate in every activity that ends with some prize or recognition at the end. Anything, but Eddie was always subjected to working hard to get what he wanted and not stopping until he got it, even if it sacrificed his own physical and mental condition.

That's probably why so many ignore the fact that Eddie has depression, because it's not that stereotypical depression that made itself known on the internet, wearing dark clothes and listening to sad music. Eddie is actually a good representation of his state of mind. Have you ever heard the phrase "your house is the representation of your mind"? 'Cause Eddie's houses are small and a mess

Eddie probably doesn't bathe, brush his teeth, or eat unless it's a special occasion where he has to meet someone. The only thing that makes Eddie take any care in his own body is maybe appearing pretentious and well-groomed to others, but he's a complete mess.

Not long ago I made a post about Symby appreciating daily life and accepting day-to-day routines. But I also think that Symby cares about these basic hygiene and healthy eating routines, because Eddie doesn't care about them. I'm sure Eddie can spend whole months just eating brains and chocolate to keep his symbiote alive, but he's careless about his own health, because Symby became his obsession and it's the only reason he didn't shoot himself in the head (other than Symby wouldn't let him do that)

Symby probably wants to change Eddie's perception, but has no idea how to treat human depression, they only know that they can clear Eddie with positive stimuli. But they don't know if there's even a way for Eddie to stop being in that constant state of emptiness. In fact, I think that the symbiote is still with Eddie after that is incredible. In itself it's hard to date a person with depression because they constant sadness is going to rub off on you eventually (some may fake it, but Symby is literally in Eddie's mind feeling everything he's feeling), apart from something that actually happened once. time, which is that negative feelings affect the symbiote and corrupt it.

and despite the lack of dopamine and oxytocin, the symbiote continues with Eddie. He had a lot of hosts who could produce hormones naturally and still choose to stay with Eddie.

Eddie is just a self-harming mess unconscious and Symby is something of his guardian angel who keeps him alive just because they loves him too much to let him go.

[aspenxlabyrinth]

Augusnippets 2024 Day 1: Gaslighting

TW: This story contains content centering around parental alienation, and family-based gaslighting, as well as unethical psychiatric practice.

This short story centers around a few original characters. Sophie, her father, and their family psychiatrist, Dr. Pendleton. Written for @augusnippets whump writing challenge.

Many thanks to alchemistsarego for beta-reading this!

Sophie sat uncomfortably on the couch across from Dr. Pendleton. It was one of those green couches that was technically vinyl, but really just felt like sitting on foam enveloped in plastic wrap. It stuck to her skin and made shifting her weight nearly impossible without that agonizing peeling feeling. She couldn't help the need to move something with how she was feeling, the stakes of this session were high enough, but she was pretty sure that if she picked at the skin around her thumbnail any harder, it would bleed.

Dr. Pendleton wasn’t at all an old woman, but her brown ponytail had traces of grey all throughout it, and she had bags under her eyes that were even visible beneath her glasses. Her posture was straight, and she was wearing a black long sleeve turtleneck shirt, and wore a black mask over the lower half of her face. Of course pandemic restrictions had long since passed, but it seemed that the psychiatrist was more cautious than the average citizen. She leaned forward in her seat towards Sophie, pen and clipboard in hand, and her eyes pushed up in what was likely a smile.

“Good morning Sophie, how have you been doing today?” the doctor asked in an even and cool tone that made a shiver run up Sophie’s spine, but was somehow welcoming enough to settle many of her nerves.

“I think I’m doing as okay as I can be, given the circumstances,” Sophie replied in a reserved and hushed voice.

“Yes, I understand that it’s been a long couple of months for your whole family. I’ve spoken to most of them by now. I suppose I mostly just want to ask you about your childhood, and what kind of environment you would describe your home as.”

Sophie nodded, and tried to find the best words for everything, then began, “Well, I’d say we had a pretty good childhood. Our mom home schooled us, so we always got plenty of attention. Especially for our schoolwork and our extracurriculars. Sports and physical activities were always pretty big for us, we were a pretty active home. Mom definitely pushed us to pursue any of those interests we expressed so most of us did pretty well. And it was easy to stay in shape because with Mom’s pneumonia and gluten allergy, most of what we had in the house to eat for a long time were gluten free snacks and frozen veggie dinners.”

There was a brief gleam off of Dr. Pendleton’s glasses before she held up a hand to stop Sophie and intervened, “Sophie, that sounds very concerning. It sounds to me as if your mother was depriving you kids of any real nutrition during those years, and worse, was directly pushing you to exercise those already minimal calories off. Would you say your mother was neglectful, or maybe even abusive, in this way? You and your sisters, I won’t lie, are alarmingly thin.”

Sophie’s eyes widened dramatically as if she had never even considered that those years in their childhood would qualify as that. Emotions and thoughts swirled in her mind, and it was all just too much for her to process. In just mere moments, she felt hurt, and confused, but most of all she felt angry. She looked down at her body, one that she’d never truly put much thought into, and began to tremble along with her voice when she finally managed to answer the doctor.

“I hadn’t even thought of that, but, but I think you might be right,” Sophie whispered.

Dr. Pendleton nodded sympathetically, and handed Sophie a tissue. As she was distracted wiping her eyes, the psychiatrist glanced to the door of her office where Sophie’s father could be seen standing in the hallway and looking in with an expectant expression. Dr. Pendleton gave him a small half-smile, and nodded, confirming that she had done exactly as instructed. He returned the nod, confirming that she would receive her additional payment by the end of the day.

[clover-midori]

THE OCTONAUTS MERMAID AU

PACK YOUR BAGS

“Natquik?”

The critter spoke to him, with his voice… of such familiarity. It was… something Natquik would have heard before, but it didn’t hit him.

There's just no way, the fox thought, as he kept looking in front of him. Was this REALLY Barnacles, having come ashore like this? This POLAR BEAR with the tail of a BELUGA WHALE under his waist? Was THIS the one who fell into that ice cave in 2004? Was it? Who WAS this? WAS it REALLY the REAL Captain Barnacles Bear than so many adored across the Meomiverse, by critter AND creature?

Yes, it was.

“Oh, oh my GOODNESS!” Natquik cheered, running over to give the polar bear a hug. “It’s you! It’s REALLY you! BARNACLES! My BOY!”

Barnacles laughed, just as delighted to see his old friend once again. “Well, even if I’m confined to the sea, a good captain never leaves their walking crew behind!”

“…uhh, I do want to apologize for not showing up any earlier. It’s been hard maintaining the wreck site of the Octopod, so bear that in mind…”

Everyone could just TELL that the captain didn’t go even an INCH above the sea. These last few days, his fur went into contact with the water, and only the water, yet it was still nice and soft, even if the skin below was scarred. They weren’t bleeding, though, so they weren’t going to be a nuisance of any sort. Barnacles didn’t like thinking about his scars, even if they taught him lessons of all sorts.

“So THAT’s where you’ve been!” Marsh facepalmed in realization. “I guess it’s reasonable to stay there anyways… though when I came down there, it was an absolute mess-“

“Yes, yes,” Natquik joined back into the conversation. “Ranger and I took the GUP-A and drove down there to help Tunip and whoever else, but… well, there were… Hey, what happened?”

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Barnacles, having been shook by hearing that, snapped back to respond, a little confused by… them being down there. “I… had no idea you two were nearby earlier. When… was this?”

This went from awkward to straight up embarrassing. Did he make them impatient? He hoped not. He was getting hesitant. Not a whole lot but just enough to start losing words. Which took only a little bit of this concern. No wonder he wasn’t feeling absolutely abysmal through the week; for how much contact he had with the Octo-Agents, apart from that, he was entirely disconnected. Right now, if anything, the Octo-Alert would be going off for the 2nd or 3rd mission this week. How many things have happened this month? Just 1, on October 2nd. 2 days before the crash. Sure, it was just 5 to 6 days now, and usually that wouldn’t make so much of a difference, but he was CAPTAIN BARNACLES. The one who always stayed alert for any situation. And what was he doing? Not that. The moment he realized all of this, he could’ve sworn that his heart skipped TWO beats.

His mind was all over the place for one second, and then he put his paws in his face, ashamed that he failed to do his job he’d have been doing right for 13 years now. A streak of 13 WHOLE YEARS, and he finally broke it. Being the CAPTAIN, the LEADER of the Octonauts, you know that’s most certainly unacceptable.

But was it his fault? No, it couldn’t have been. Hurricane Selma was something beyond his control, and even if he and his crew nearly died, and even if it resulted in the almost complete destruction of the base he called home away from home for years, he DID try to make the most of their predicament.

Heck, why did he chew out Kwazii and Shellington in the past for all their mishaps with the GUPs, when he knew he was near NO better? Don’t even get him started on the fact that he called everyone to the HQ, no one came, the crash happened, and he ended up getting hurt pretty badly because the windows shattered. Everyone else was mostly fine because they didn’t follow his advice. They were thinking right in this situation, EVEN Peso and Dashi.

He was getting too used to being so perfect and overwhelmed all the time. Now that it finally hit him after more than a decade, it hit him SUPER HARD on the head, right between his eyes.

“Barnacles, I’m talking to you. We were there TODAY.” Natquik, worried, raised his voice, trying to get his attention by grabbing his pectoral fins.

“Oh dear… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I…” The polar bear hyperventilated a bit, shaking his head in regret. He couldn’t stop going into deep thinking. “I’m just reflecting on what happened, and I think I was too hard on everyone, including myself…” he sighed, curving his tail around in the sand. “Just be honest, from the times you’ve seen me with my crew… have I been TOO critical?”

Natquik had to admit, for how long he spent working (mostly) alone with only Tracker sometimes, he still knew THIS bear very well… and yeah, Barnacles WAS kinda like what he asked. Not that he was absolutely terrible for it—he was a CAPTAIN, and probably the nicest one ever—but it WAS something he could work on. Shellington HAD told the arctic fox long ago about everyone’s shenanigans, and Barnacles was something he documented for days.

End of the day, though, Barnacles was just trying his best to take care of his friends and family as much as he could… even if it didn’t work out THAT well in the end.

It was a good thing everyone was alive and well.

Maybe Barnacles needed to think of something else. Enough with the existential crises. Fuck those. He knew there was a smaller, more closer issue. Somehow that helped more than something in the past… no, that actually made sense when he thought about it.

It started to click with him that while he’d have seen his sister, he hadn’t seen his cousins. That was ironic. Usually it was the other way around. He usually saw Orson and Ursa all by themselves, but Bianca was nowhere to be seen. Of course, during those times, Tracker was just looking after Bianca back at her den in the Northwest Territories, and that Orson and Ursa were… Well, Tracker didn’t know what they were up to, Bianca just let them go. It wasn’t awful parenting for a polar bear; matter of fact this was probably normal as these cubs were slowly growing up and would have to get used to it eventually…

However, this is MEXICO, not Canada. Bianca’s home was FAR away. And if Tracker was up here, and Bianca down in the Pacific, and if both were mermaids—Tracker had probably transformed TODAY while Bianca got turned about a few days ago—then that was probably a sign that maybe, just MAYBE, those two cubs came with either their mother or something like that…

"Uncle Barnacles! You’re here!"

Oh, just perfect timing, the captain thought. They’d have been hiding in the GUP-A the whole time. What a coincidence, wasn’t it…

“So is THAT why I heard breathing coming from the back of this thing?” Marsh laughed. “Oh me, oh my, I LOVE this job…”

Funnily enough, Orson and Ursa FULLY believed what Koshi said a while back, and they were INSANELY delighted to see their UNCLE like this. That was a GOOD sign, matter of fact. Mom was nearby, no denying that!

Periwinkle was a little shook as well, but not as much because he already saw that other polar bear not too long ago. Compared to Tracker, however, he could totally respect Barnacles. That man KNEW what he was doing most of the time. He was just trying to keep knots tight, trying to keep everyone safe after that disaster.

The older the otter pup got, the more he understood that. Sure, he got the basics at first, but now he could really express his gratitude. Maybe one of these days… as he went back to looking at this Samsung Galaxy S5 he got his hands on from a week ago.

Mum must be proud as well.

Everyone then overheard Yeshi’s flip phone going off. Barnacles didn’t even know he was here, but he enjoyed some company most of the time, so no sweat.

“Yeh, it’s Yeshi. Is that you, Shellington?” The dachshund spoke, having each of the crew, and Paani’s thighs, both on speed dial. “What’s up?”

“What? No way! These guys have to see this! Give us 5 seconds, alright?”

Uh oh? Maybe. Whatever that was, it was a good excuse to see what Marsh meant by "an absolute mess", which in and out of itself already sounded pretty freaky. And this was MARSH saying this. And that bunny had SEEN "an absolute mess" before, ESPECIALLY after Hurricane Elsa’s horrendous landfall in Florida 2 years ago, so you KNEW he KNEW what he was talking about. And you’d think Barnacles WAS aware of just HOW MUCH of a mess was left… even AFTER the crash. He wasn’t. Hopefully this quick trip back would help.

He just couldn’t handle the fact that his… DAD, if anything… was waiting here for nearly a whole week. Having left him behind after one call that didn’t explain much… that felt more than cruel, that felt TORTURING. It was a good thing he could see him at SOME point, even if it WAS over the… due date. Was there even a due date? No idea. Did he ever mention that? Nah, surely not. Definitely a good idea to STILL see Natquik before the end of the week, (well, THIS week, the crash was last week) that was for sure.

The dachshund hung up, and approached everyone with a look that conveyed “this is gonna be so good yet it’s gonna be absolutely awful”.

“Oh, hey Captain Barnacles,” he gave a smile and a wave to the main mermaid, not really caring about him also being like this since he’d have witnessed Paani and Tracker earlier. “Uh, what’s the maximum speed of the GUP-A?” he then asked, making sure he’d be able to catch up.

“Are we really headed back there? Already?” Barnacles looked over at him and at the water in concern. It had only been about 25 minutes, so what was going on now?

“…it’s not you, it’s the Octopod,” Yeshi explained. “It’s not being destroyed. Matter of fact, it’s… completely fine. All I can say is, well…"

"Pack your bags."

Pack your bags.

Pack your bags.

PACK YOUR BAGS.

Eh, he probably just meant to get ready, the captain thought. No biggie. He could crawl his way back into the water. Paani and Tracker definitely, ESPECIALLY the former, needed some of that blue as well.

“Ah, just look at all of this,” Natquik chuckled. “Seems like we’re having a nice time, aren’t we?”

Captain Barnacles… had to admit it. He was NOT going to be sad in a time like this. Not during this… reunion. Sounded fun to be going on this little trip with them… And besides, Orson and Ursa could just see how graceful he was, now that he was a mermaid! It was wonderful! He wasn’t letting his past get in the way anymore. Nearly drowned? So what? That wasn’t a problem anymore. He was a MERMAID! A REAL MERMAID! And everyone was seeing this! Tracker and Paani were one thing, but the CAPTAIN himself?! That was EVERYTHING!

“C’moooon, Barnacles…” The macaque waved over to him, now half in the water. “We’re all a big pod here… aren’t we~?”

He was right. Everyone who'd been turned since day one really had to be in some kinda pod. Barnacles HAD seen H2O before, so he knew where this was going.

Heh. Octopod, more like Octo-POD…

“Paani, you bet I’m coming!” Barnacles shouted at him, as he prepared to swim as fast as he could, prideful of his form like he should be. Whatever this was all about…

HOW PERFECT, indeed.

The fact that, in retrospect, this was an endless loop of going back and forth between land and sea, the latter being where the captain slept in. Gosh, Midori, you’re a horrible writer…

You need to improve on this. Your grammar is good, your punctuation is good… but your storytelling falls short. Have these last few chapters been nothing but fillers? Maybe. Gosh, I’m pathetic…

That’s it. I need to let go. I need to go full throttle here. Or at least speed up a little more. I can’t just sit around and fall back into the flaws of my old fanfics. I have to do something.

Pack your bags, Midori. This HAS to work.

~~~~

What a complete mess, everyone thought, dumbfounded as could be. Their once abandoned base clearly went through something… And this? This wasn’t bad, but… WHY?

"I just… I just don’t believe it,” Dashi shook her head. “One minute, I look away, and… the whole HQ is full of… I’m sorry, I’m just amazed.”

“You could say that again,” replied Tweak. “It’s like a… well, it’s a FUCKING mess, is my best description…”

Within minutes, maybe even seconds, most of the main area, excluding the launch bay, had just… gone up in flourishes of all kinds of little sea creatures, like someone had spilled 5 or 10 bags of licorice allsorts in the laboratory. Of course, Shellington did that once and while he had to clean it up, nothing really happened after that…

…But now, where the FUCK did all of these fish AND coral AND WHATEVER THE ACTUAL FUCK come from? It wasn’t here this morning, right?! No, it couldn’t have been! This was NOT normal, that was for sure. Coral reefs don’t form THAT fast outta nowhere, and not in the LITERAL OCTOPOD!

Almost everyone had been outside of the site when this situation occurred, most of them collecting the broken off fragments of metal and glass from the trail left by the crash. Inkling, for one, was a big help, as he and Min were using each other’s unique bodies to get every single bit out of the sand. It may have been mere Planck units of this trash, but to the two it was quite the difference maker to get it out.

It sounded familiar to most of the crew. Hadn’t something similar happened back in… maybe 2012? No one could really remember, but oh well. Maybe it’ll hit everyone eventually. For now, though, all they could do was just… look at this thing. It was perplexing, to say the least. Still expected, however; the whole thing was flooded to the last corner… well, except for Kwazii’s room. He wasn’t letting that stay here once he figured something out.

Speaking of, where was he?

Damn, the bunny thought. It WAS pretty colorful there. She wondered if, maybe, just maybe, she and Dashi could go in there, check out the environment that took over… It didn’t have to be so worrying, did it? No, not at all. Tweak knew better than that. She learned a lot from her mistakes. All for Dashi. All for her crew.

All for everyone.

“…you’re thinking deep, mate,” Ryla looked over at her, the same idea on her mind. “You don’t wanna go in there… Do you?”

Just hearing that made the bunny’s ears twist like a doughnut. “You mean, like… Oh me, oh my, oh for cloud’s sake,” she laughed it off, “you know me too well… uh, Dashi?”

“What’s up?” The dachshund turned her head to face her. “You and Ryla seem to be discussing something. I like that…”

Oh boy, both the bunny AND the wombat thought. This WAS gonna be awkward… Perhaps they’d just swim off and let her find out herself… that wouldn’t be right, would it? No, absolutely not. They best ask her. That was the RIGHT thing to do, as the former learned at this very point. Heck, what was she doing being careless like this when she almost died so many times, ESPECIALLY on 3/30… This wasn’t being careless, though. She just wanted intel on this kind of thing. Make sure everything was alright in there. Where was Shellington anyways? Inside? Probably.

“We… wanna investigate,” Tweak smiled, blushing a little, “and I think you’d wanna join. I mean, it’s not like we should be SUPER scared; the Octopod already crashed anyways… you in~?”

No way Dashi would pass up some time with her 2 besties. She nodded almost immediately, revealing her camera which she stashed on her right.

“Race you!” the dachshund mermaid giggled, which made Tweak shudder a bit. Not in a bad way, she just needed to figure this out. Dashi AND Ryla were FAST, being dolphin and needlefish tailed, and the bunny was just an electric eel. Not like she was far slower than either; she was sure she could go fast like them… Whatever, it was time to stop overthinking so much. Besides, eels are… cool.

So, that’s when the 3 took off, heading right into the holes made in the windows of the HQ. Good thing those were already there when they got turned… well, for Dashi and Tweak to a further extent as they’d have been here longer.

Roughly a few seconds in here and they were already mesmerized just seeing what had happened up close and personal. Sure enough, that was REAL FLORA, and REAL FAUNA flourishing through here. Like, if every little coral and fish were lined up end to end, it’d extend from San Diego to BEYOND LA. Maybe up to Santa Maria even. And it was all shoved into here… the former base of such a wonderful crew for so many years…

Dashi’s notice went not to what was covered, but rather to what WASN’T covered. Chairs that had been knocked over, including Inkling’s, and the COMPUTERS. Ah, the COMPUTERS… The screens definitely suffered a few cracks and whatnot, and more than likely inoperable, but just seeing this, in what was once her home away from home? Fascinating.

“It feels like it’s been forever,” the dachshund chuckled, as she picked up the instruction manual for the system. “I can’t believe how fast things change…”

Not minding soggy paper, Dashi just looked through the pages. This kind of thing she’d have been reading a week ago to recap on troubleshooting some small errors Shellington had. Now, the ink was slowly fading away, off the surface.

Normally, it wouldn’t be much, but to the IT officer, it just felt so… odd. When she first saw Hurricane Selma on the radar, she didn’t think a whole lot about it other than “oh, we should take caution of that,” but now the image of that was part of some the last memories before she… died. Died? No, she’d have survived that. She just lost her legs… well, they weren’t amputated, she got turned into a mermaid of course, but… there was definitely more to that than she could chew. A WHOLE lot more.

Last week, she was just making sure the latest version of Octo-OS had been installed.

Last week, she was just getting photos of that one cool betta fish she saw.

Last week, she was just calling Koshi and Yeshi to say goodnight, and that she missed them so much.

Last week was so close yet so far away.

And now?

Last week was the past.

Yes, her life truly did change a lot.

Dashi… didn’t know how to feel about that. There was no denying that the same went for so many others here.

“Uhhh, guys…?” She turned around, a single tear floating up from her eyes. “Do you ever think about… YOUR past?”

Much to her surprise, they did. Tweak herself had wondered quite a lot. And, unfortunately, unlike the dachshund, her past was a little more turbulent.

“Well, y’know, Dash,” the bunny spoke up, “I don’t think I’ve EVER told you this, or maybe I did, I can’t remember… I just turned 7, when I first met Cap. He was 14; it was 2009. Inkling invited us two to Victoria, to take a ride on the first iteration of the Octopod. Inkling had known about Nat and my Pa for quite some time and he thought this would be nice… and then, for reasons I don’t think I’ll ever know, we crashed and we almost died. I’m glad the glass stayed intact, but I’m sure neither of us thought of going back, yet, we did…”

“I don’t think I’m proud.“

To her, using one brain cell to remember it, then letting it die, the first days of being like this—before apologizing to Barnacles—might as well have also been the past anyways.

“Oi, listen up,” Ryla, in a matter of milliseconds, swam up to her side. “I’m glad I met you as much as I am that I met Dashi. If I never did get the chance, I’d have no idea what I was missing out on… Mate, I’d wanna go back and tell my past self to TRULY join the Octonauts… not stay back as a silly little Octo-Agent more than 10 years later…”

Dashi excitedly nodded in agreement. Like if she and Ryla never met, if she NEVER joined this crew of “explore, rescue, protect,” she’d be left in the sand. And while not every past could be good at all, all critters like Tweak deserved some level of love.

“Y-yeah…” The bunny giggled. The fact that she’d have even come this far was memorable. Even if last week WAS the past, being something, being here, even by a single bit of stardust WAS something to be proud of.

“Thank you… thank you…”

The “core”, despite the HQ being the most likely spot for it, slept all the way down in the laboratory, exactly where the transformations spread out from. There was TRUE abundance. Like the eye of a hurricane, like Selma, but instead of being calm, it was where ALL the commotion was. For the little creatures that swim around here, it was their home, their downtown, their big city, their Vancouver, their EVERYTHING. If it had REALLY been a few half hours since this happened, then it was safe to say that this REALLY was spontaneous. That, or these creatures were hiding here the WHOLE time after the crash.

In the middle of it was the sleeping body of a sea otter. It was Shellington, obviously. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for Barnacles to come back and see all of this. He wasn’t scared, he was actually delighted by the eruption of life here. To the creatures who built their homes in the walls and counters and whatnot, he, ironically, wasn’t much of a disruption, even with his huge shark tail. That’s what happens when you’re so well known across the seas, so now all the creatures are getting up close and personal with his tail. Piss off, he’s Kwazii’s AND Paani’s.

Shellington could… kinda hear the conversation between the mermaids upstairs. He could make out what they were saying, and with the honesty in his otter brain, he could understand why this bloom was a little terrifying for some. Poor Peso would shit himself if this kind of thing happened right in front of his very eyes. That’s what happened for the scientist. He was IN here, questioning if he or anyone was REALLY gonna get anything done, just as the first coral popped up. It overtook nearly everything in here, and whilst Shellington didn’t mind, it was pretty bizarre seeing how things like these happen.

Perhaps now was a good time to get up. Kwazii had to be here as well, right? He’s probably in the launch bay gnawing on his tail right now.

5 more minutes of rest would be on his mind, but Paani and Barnacles were coming back and he had to be ready to explain all of this… as if he KNEW why this happened either.

And he could already hear the GUP-A approaching. Oh, jumping jellyfish. Time to get his mind on the right lane and speak up.

“Good thing… I could replenish that energy from swimming so fast,” he yawned, swimming up through the main area and admiring all the colors. It was quite dreamy for him. He’d have seen vast colors, but not in such a compact spot like here. Somehow that made this even better.

Hopefully, this was the LAST time they had to do this kind of thing. Going back and forth between the Pacific Ocean and Guadalupe was the most headache-inducing thing in MONTHS, and that was GOING to stop for sure. Just round up everyone, get them to shore, and… well, Natquik’s idea was pretty low in terms of detail. It was understandable, yes yes, but he’d probably have to go deeper.

“For your assurance, the water is safe for legs,” Barnacles said to the crew inside the GUP-A, as it came to a stop just in front of the wreck. “It seems like the site’s been cleared as well; I didn't detect any scattered debris around here!”

The 4 occupants of the ship (Yeshi stayed behind to look after the Octoray and check for any damages from earlier) all donned their gear and swam out without issue, all following the captain. Bianca had taught her cubs the essentials quite a long time ago and they were putting those learned lessons to good use. Maybe one day, they’d be just like her.

“Oh, now what’s all this about~?” Almost immediately, Barnacles had noticed the changes around here, just to be greeted with Shellington and Dashi.

“Hey, Captain!” The dachshund waved over, making way for him. “You were gone for a little while, so we just tidied up a little…”

“Ah, I see. Good to be here as always,” Barnacles liked the sound of that, as he turned around, beckoning Paani and Tracker inside. “I hope you don’t mind a little extra company… and somehow this is the SECOND narwhal I’m friends with.”

“The second?” Dashi tilted her head in confusion. Of course, she KNEW about Boris… but was the captain being serious? There was barely any way he knew TWO of these-

“H-hi, Dashi!”

Oh, of course it was Tracker. That was worth a few chuckles. What was he doing here anyways? Nevermind that, she was still intrigued on this place becoming a reef in so little time, as was Barnacles who circled around the coral floored area, trying to make sure his eyes were working properly. Being out of sea for 20 minutes after 5 days down here probably wasn’t a good idea, but it shouldn’t have harmed him at all, right?

Right. He was a beluga anyways. The only reason he could breathe underwater was…

Wait.

Barnacles was actually pretty shocked at this realization more than he should’ve. Beluga whales can’t breathe underwater! They’re sea mammals! Polar bears can’t breathe underwater either!

Sure, some of his crew made sense. Paani did, as did Kwazii, Shellington and Pearl. Also, Tweak and Min… AND obviously Ryla.

But others like himself, his sister, Peso, and Dashi? They’d be dead by now. And sure, Inkling could go on land, but that wasn’t the point. This was the opposite. Dolphins don’t breathe underwater. Neither do dachshunds. Or polar bears.

This whole kind of thing was an absolute clusterfuck. Mermaids shouldn’t be real, but now they are, and somehow those who are tailed with those of mammals can survive down here, and now the Octopod is like THIS?!

A random solution that Shellington made months ago simply can’t do this kind of thing. No, this was no workplace accident. This was SUPERNATURAL.

“Barnacles… stop overthinking so much,” he started telling himself. “You know you’ve gone through so much, you’ve put yourself down so much for this… you promised you’d stop… stop overthinking… a good captain NEVER does that!”

He slammed his paws on the computer.

“NEVER!”

Everyone stopped talking and just looked at Barnacles. He was visibly shaking a LOT. His flukes kept swishing up and down, and he kept breathing loudly.

“I… I don’t get it!” He shouted. “I don’t understand ANY OF THIS! WHY DID WE EVER END UP IN THIS SITUATION?! WHY DID WE END UP HERE OF ALL PLACES?! WHY IS THIS ALL HAPPENING TO BEGIN WITH?!”

“Hey! What’s all of this about?” Natquik tried to get his attention. “Barnacles, what’s wrong?”

“THIS ISN’T LOGICAL AT ALL! THAT’S WHAT!” The polar bear replied in panic that slowly turned to sadness. “I… I CAN’T TAKE ANY OF THIS!”

At that, he slowly approached the window in front of him, preparing to BOOK it out of here. He WAS DONE. If he was going to be trapped in a sea of psychological torture, he had to get used to it some way or another. Until then, he was NOT showing his face.

“Barnacles, wait!” Bianca called out. “Please, just stop for a moment… just explain to us what’s wrong!”

There she was. His sister. Seeing all of this unfold. Now THIS was too far. He wanted to feel sorry, but he'd have hit his breaking point, and it was too late.

“…Life makes no sense. I need time to think.”

And so, he lifted his tail, and…

SMASH!

…broke the window, and made a swim for it.

No one had EVER seen Barnacles so upset before, so this was easily quite heartbreaking. The fact that he went from all happy to absolutely broken in minutes… Peso, in particular, was willing to be that he was holding in ALL of this for a REALLY long time.

As for Tweak, though… What she once considered the past came back to mind. The times she had, when she would fall into fits of rage, just like her captain did right now. The times she had, when she even attacked her best friends. The times she had, when she hid away from everyone…

She was horrible.

When she looked back at that, it made her ears droop. It made her feel pathetic. Absolutely abysmal. The fact that she was like this in the past made her choke a bit.

But now? She had LEARNED from that. She learned from her mistakes. She learned what was right and what was wrong. And that? That was worth it in the end. She felt so much better about herself now.

Tweak wanted Barnacles to do the same. She knew his struggles. And he was behaving like she used to. What a pile of trash, right?

No, not at all. Barnacles was critter. Like humans, it was normal for critters to struggle, to stress, to cry, to hit rock bottom. He just needed to recognize it for once and maybe even get HELP. Tweak knew he could rebound from today, and become better than before.

“Uh, guys?” She looked around, until facing the other mermaids… yet she still didn’t see her Pa. “I’m gonna go talk to Cap. I just wanna make sure he’s alright. In the meantime… I guess… wait here.”

And yet, Ranger Marsh STILL didn’t get to see her. The odds were NOT in either of their favors.

Tweak went through the same hole in the windows Barnacles created, twitching her nose as she tried to memorize what path he took. Obviously he wanted to get away from here, so that was worth noting. Where would a polar bear hide, anyways? Would he have made some sort of den?

Now, Tweak… was knowledgeable about this area. Very knowledgeable, in fact. She could circle around the wreck about 2 times and she’d get an idea of where everything was. Together, with what was left of the external pods, even the only non-flooded part of the Octopod (that being Kwazii’s room, that lucky bastard), they formed a compass, became her compass, and with the Octopod having fallen flat on its “face” and northwards…

“He went between the HQ and the rec room,” she told herself. “That’s northwest. And from what I’ve seen…”

She gasped, having gotten the perfect idea. That same cave she and Dashi were in earlier? There’s no way he wouldn’t be in there! She nodded, just thinking about it, before swimming down and not noticing that her tail was starting to change color from a sickly yellow to an alright green, like a mood ring.

Maybe that was the whole point. Or maybe just because she was cool.

~~~~

Barnacles couldn’t get himself out of it. Everywhere he went, he kept remembering that he was like this, that he was in this situation, and to him it was really uncomfortable. Not that he wanted his legs back—that was impossible anyways, so he didn’t mind living with it at first—but he just wished he knew what any of this was caused by.

He hid himself in this cave. His face was down in the sand, making sure he would NOT get a glimpse of the Octopod. He wanted to be ALONE with his OWN thoughts, in hopes that he could calm himself down. Not that it was any easy, though.

It was REALLY embarrassing. He’d have just fallen into a panic attack all because he hadn’t seen Natquik in so long and now the logic was getting to him. If he was alone during so, this wouldn’t be that bad, but this was in front of HIS CREW, HIS SISTER, HIS COUSINS, and HIS FATHER.

…even though, logically, natquik was his step… father? no, he wasn’t even his father, moreso his brother, as his mother never remarried, but barnacles saw him as just his father regardless.

Tweak laid flat on the top of the cave, ears pulled back, staying as quiet as she could to see if she could hear him. Was Barnacles aware of this place as well, or was it just her and Dashi? It WAS still of some close proximity to the base, so it definitely could just be his first resort.

She took a quick peek in, looking for his easily identifiable bright blue suit and his fantastic white fur. And while it was night time, Tweak’s eyesight was… certainly better than most other bunnies her age, and she was 21!

“Well, this is when my tail comes in handy,” she whispered, using it like a bungee cord and swooping down with her whole body. Now, electric eels definitely don’t do this, but oh well. She looked left and right, up and down, side to side. Nothing, up until she looked up once more and saw…

“P-Peso?!” Tweak was surprised. “What… What are you doing here? I said wait at the Octopod, not…”

“S-sorry,” the medic sighed. “I figured if anyone else were to help, it was going to be me.” He and Tweak both swam up, still looking down at the cave. “I just hope he’s okay.”

Alright, thought the engineer. That was valid. Peso was such a good friend to the captain anyways. So trustworthy, so brave, so peaceful… sometimes, she aimed to be like that. The more she thought about it…

“Well, of course we can do this together.”

Tweak went back down again, going more closer in to see if Barnacles really was in there. Surely enough, he was just an inch from the left wall, having gone polar bear fall flat. Dead? No, he couldn’t be. He seemed mostly solid, so definitely nothing attacked him. Perhaps he was just asleep, which was the most likely case.

“Yep, he’s in here,” Tweak gave a thumbs up to Peso, who promptly swam down. “Just stay quiet.” Neither the orca nor the eel wanted to wake up the beluga whale. They just wanted to wait for him. Stay close, just don’t scare him.

How Barnacles ended up reminded Peso of himself. He’d once have been this self aware of all of this. Back in the first days when he was resting on the sands of Isla Guadalupe, he kept questioning how everything in his life led him to this kind of thing. Despite how messed up his childhood was, though, it didn’t really harm him. However, Barnacles was 8 years older, Peso being 20, so it wasn’t a huge surprise the captain reacted differently.

But then, much to the surprise of the other two, the polar bear started to tilt his head upwards. As Peso and Tweak started to back up a little, he brushed away the sand on his face, full of tears.

“…T-Tweak?” He said in a raspy tone, just looking at the bunny in particular. “W-what are you doing here? I… I wanted to be alone right now.”

“…Sorry, Cap.. I…” the bunny started blushing in embarrassment, her tail slowly changing color back to yellow. “I just… wanna… help you.”

Bold words coming from someone who tried to leave him for dead, but Barnacles knew she meant it. Noticeably, throughout earlier today and yesterday, she HAD become a bit more sociable, which was definitely thanks to Dashi and Ryla.

“Well…” He sighed. “I… suppose you’ve changed for the better. I just… don’t get why I’m like this… why am I such a coward?”

Tweak sank to the seafloor, now sitting with her back against the cave wall next to Barnacles. She looked down at him, still laying down.

“It’s not you, Cap,” she calmly said. “You ain’t a coward. I don’t think ANY of us expected to become like this. It’s like how NO ONE crashed the Octopod… it just gave up. None of these changes are on us. It’s how we react to them, and, well… Ya know how I was on day one? AWFUL.” She wrapped an arm around him, making sure he was feeling even a tad better. “Needless to say? That was quite shameful of me, but it doesn’t DEFINE me… I’ve grown to learn that… Like my Pa did.”

“It doesn’t define me, Cap. It doesn’t define you either.”

Yeah, of course that was the case. Peso did. Dashi, too. Even Inkling. Tweak was NOT wrong at all. It didn’t help a lot, but he was understanding this, and that was helping a little already.

“I’d like to say something as well, Captain,” Another voice came from behind him, and almost immediately he looked around, and…

“Oh... oh dear,” Barnacles shook his head in surprise. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you earlier, Peso… right, what was that? Keep going.”

The penguin happily nodded. “Well, I think it has to be said for the future, especially now that we’re here. If you ever, EVER feel any sort of discomfort, like if you’re feeling annoyed or upset, or, like right now… please, Captain… talk to me, and tell me what’s the matter.” He calmly explained to his captain, flippers wrapped around the bear’s shoulders. “I may not be perfect at this—I’m a medic—but I’m trying my best with everyone here in mind, especially YOU. I’m willing to bet you’ve been holding in these feelings of anger and sadness for so long, and I think it’s safe to say that you need to let them out sometimes.”

Surrounded by two of his best crew, both who had been in his fins and went through similar issues… just wanting to look after him and wish him the best. Barnacles was fully believing this. This was valid, all of this was valid. It was like his father. They were all just trying their best to keep each other going, above AND below the surface.

“Thank you, Peso… now that I realize it,” he inhaled deeply. “I have to stop bottling this up. I make mistakes, and that’s normal. I just need to get up from them. It’s what everyone wants for me… It’s what I want for myself… so that’s what I’m going to do.”

He exhaled, slowly hovering over the sand and clearing out his face, making sure his fur was white enough. He was truly aware of his mishaps and his reactions. He wasn’t gonna let them kill him. The two other mermaids were delighted, hearing his words of acceptance and his wishes to move on. If his crew could learn their lessons, so could he. So why doesn’t he get going, starting now?

“That’s my Cap.”

~~~~

Above the surface, Yuma was frustrated in their own ways.

Standing and looking at the dark coast as they used to all the time probably didn’t click with their new friendship. Perhaps they needed a taste of what Koshi liked. Did they even ask? Surely THAT would REALLY break the already thinning ice.

“H-hey, Koshi.” They looked back at the puppy. “I’m sure you’re aware of what I do in my spare time… uh, what are your interests anyways?”

Now this was a question Koshi enjoyed getting. Sure, no one really asked her about it, but this coyote, who she'd been staying with for a little while now? THEY asked.

“One word, mate: Mystery! All of it, I tell you,” she gave a bright smile. “Don’t mind what kind, whether it be the disappearance of a kelp cake or the entire Octopod, I’m all in for it. I’ve read more than… 79 novels about this kind of thing. Maybe more, no one knows. See? THAT’s a mystery. And right now I’m in the middle of one!”

“Heh, I see, I see,” Yuma nodded. “You really are enthusiastic about that whole thing. Makes me wish I had something to enjoy myself…”

“Well, you’ve already got yourself,” the dachshund started to suggest, “and I think that’s already good enough… THOUGH, it looks like you want a taste of something else…”

To that, the coyote gave a nod. They DID want a bite out of… anything else, really, than just living this low life of theirs. Any gateway out of that, and they’d be free. Free from the burden that they left everything behind over in California. Sure, they liked their parents, but… holy smokes, Koshi meant SO MUCH to them. Why turn back to hiding away all the time… when she was here? An associate of a bunch of the coolest folks on this PLANET!

That’s when Yuma had an idea. They went inside, looked for the nearest pencil and paper, ran back out, and after trying to remember for a few seconds, sketched

“So, the other night, this little guy just WADDLED over to me while I was listening to music as always, and I have NO IDEA what the HECK it is-“

“Wait a minute-“

Within TWO seconds of seeing the drawing, Koshi proceeded to slowly put a paw to her face, only for both her and Yuma to realize…

How can I just adore the Octonauts like that, if I have no idea what…

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

Just the realization made the two laugh uncontrollably like they were the only ones on this island.

“Mate, I don’t believe it!” Koshi wheezed. “You’ve been honored to the point where Tunip visited you PERSONALLY! What kind of thing needs to happen, for THAT?”

The coyote shrugged with a smile, figuring it wasn’t a big deal after all. After all, that little guy could rebuild his literal flesh. Surely he’d be fine. Not like they told Koshi they caught him by accident, because they DIDN’T.

“I assume you don’t have to return to duty anytime soon, Kosh? I’m sure there are many others here, seeing as the…” Yuma then asked, pausing for a moment to then clarify a little something else.

“Sorry, I just don’t really know what’s been going on for the last few years. This Octoray, these Octo-Agents…”

“I only knew the Octonauts.”

Well, it wasn’t like the Octonauts were ALWAYS popular. Sure, their voices and GUPs were HEARD throughout the 2010s but that later fell down to East Asia for seemingly no reason at all.

The resurgence was fading back in, and now was a good time to truly thank them AND their fellow friends for their efforts, even if these last few years were off the beaten path—going above the surface? Oh, the irony. Koshi, who'd been on one of these pre-Octoray missions with her sis, understood exactly what the enby coyote meant. And who else to blame but… No, enough with the blaming. Koshi wasn’t involved in the Tweak-Barnacles debate and even she knew there was no time for chewing out anyone.

“Well, at least this Octo-Watch comes in handy,” she then replied late. “And no, I don’t think I’ll be needed back any time soon… They’ll find me themselves, unless they’ve had one too many hot cocoas!”

“One too many hot cocoas?” Yeshi chimed in, having stood before them just eavesdropping. “Koshi, where have you been?”

“And speak of the inner core,” the other dachshund looked back with surprise. “My brother, Yeshi! Didn’t think you’d come back, now…”

Meanwhile, the coyote just stopped in their tracks and took a moment to FULLY compose themselves. One other critter was totally fine, but two’s a crowd. So, what did this ‘yotey do?

“H-hi, I’m Yuma, and welcome to Jackass.” said in the fastest and most awkward way possible, finished with a blush, but at least they stayed put. That was a record, wasn’t it?

“…it’s nice to meet you.”

That was something to be proud of, actually. Having warmed up so much thanks to Koshi… none of Yuma’s previous “introductions” could match up… no, they’d have FAINTED before.

“Nice to meet you as well. What’s all of this about?” Yeshi then replied, eyes going to his sister in particular, who did feel just as awkward as the coyote.

“…I made a friend. I’m more than sure of that.” Koshi would proudly announce. “It’s been boring just waiting here for nothing, so I used nights like these to meet up with…”

At that, she walked over to Yuma, and gave them a hug. And despite the height difference, hugs are hugs, and that was something everyone could use. ESPECIALLY someone like this coyote.

“…yeaaaaah. I’m still warming up to it,” they said with an expression of innocent embarrassment. “I had NO idea about you guys… I don’t tend to leave my home a lot, or at all.”

“…scary, I know.”

Unsurprisingly, that WAS to be agreed with. How could someone live like that for so long? Maybe that happened with someone among the other Octo-Agents, but with some typical citizen like Yuma? Ouch.

It was encouraging all three of them… to DO something.

Would they be able to pull this off?

Maybe, even with this unknown dude. Did they know?

Of course they did.

~~~~

“Alright, Cap… just take some nice, deep breaths,” Tweak would continue comforting the polar bear. “Y’know, I was actually gonna tidy up the launch bay and move the GUPs to their designated spaces. If you wanna stay with me, go for it.”

This kind of thing had happened a lot now. Barnacles would definitely have a break under the company of the engineer, like most of his crew had, but everyone was on standby waiting for him, and knowing how they trusted him, he would HATE to keep them waiting.

He thanked the bunny for the offer, but shook his head and swam up to the HQ. The 4 Octo-Agents who remained walking were back in the GUP-A, as was Bianca just comforting her cubs like a good mama bear does, even after they’ve become a mermaid… We already know this stuff, so let’s move on.

“Shiver me whiskers, ye returned!” Kwazii eagerly shook his paw, noticing the much softer expression he took on his face. “Why’d you lose it like that?”

It wasn't something he wanted to talk about, but Tunip was right next to him, and that little guy already proved illogical for the real world. Kwazii couldn’t read minds, even if he believed he could, but as he and Barnacles both looked at the Vegimal, then at their own tails, he somewhat figured out what had happened.

“…I was just worried for all of us. It got too weird for me, and I had to leave. I’m sure it’s all safe, though…” the captain told the kitten, the concern in his eyes having become minuscule. “Best not to worry anymore.”

“…well, Captain,” Dashi looked over at him, with a gentle smile. “If that’s what you’re going for, that’s okay… I just think we should get this whole thing done with.”

“Yes yes… MY thoughts exactly,” Natquik would slowly nod in agreement. “I’ve had these plans for all of us to leave this place… Although I’m not sure about the Octopod.”

“Oh, so that’s what it’s called!” Came a little voice from near the computers, which definitely belonged to one of the hundreds, THOUSANDS of little creatures. “We just came upon this wreck, and we figured we’d make the most out of it!”

Indeed, they’d have made a CITY out of this place. From the HQ to the library, they were everywhere. These creatures of all sorts just took full advantage, within HOURS, and no one knew until this hour.

In retrospect, this was actually quite heartwarming. Even without intention to, the mermaids had been fixing up this place for these little guys, all this time.

The Octopod was inoperable. Lost to the seas for good. And yet, it served as a landmark, a symbol, a reminder, a memoir, a TRIBUTE… to honor what nearly every creature adored.

When it really came to mind, it made tears flow among the crew. Not of sadness, though. These were tears of JOY. Knowing they have REALLY accomplished something, even after this whole ordeal.

In the end, all that time didn’t go to waste after all.

Marsh wanted to enjoy this moment. He really did. Yet, he still felt uneasy. Like, something else was happening behind their backs. He didn’t know what, but it didn’t feel right.

He looked below his feet, and off the edge of the HQ’s remaining glass was the ocean floor… and it was FRACTURED.

Now, the bunny didn’t know a whole lot about these kinds of things. Tweak would—she WAS an Octonaut so she KNEW the sea—but she wasn’t here, and whatever this was, it couldn’t be good.

It was probably an earthquake. An aftershock of March 30? Maybe, but there hadn’t been many, if any earthquakes here during then. Not to mention, others didn’t seem to mind, and the Octopod was still stable, so there was that.

What was it, the ranger thought. Was he hallucinating? Oh no, was he running out of oxygen? Probably, but after checking his Octo-Watch for a moment, it became obvious he was doing entirely fine.

And yet, the ground was still cracking.

Things were gonna get BAD.

“Hey, Ranger!” Natquik looked at him, smiling broadly. “Are you seeing this~? It’s… it’s stunning!” He’d beckon once or twice, before seeing the bunny’s big ears droop, as he just kept looking down and away from the Arctic fox.

Now THAT was unusual. Mermaids were one thing, yes, but seeing Marsh this… quiet? Emotionless? He was a pretty fun guy to be around, but right now he just… floated there.

“What… What's wrong?” The professor swam over to him. “W-why are you just… Why so quiet?”

It then clicked in the bunny’s mind. “Nat! Sorry I scared you, heh…” he HIMSELF blushed in embarrassment, before returning to a fearful expression. “I’m scared. I REALLY AM.”

“Easy now,” the fox would hold his paw. “What’s this about? What is it you’re looking at, that’s making you feel this way…?”

“THAT…” Marsh worryingly pointed right at the ground. Of course, there could be ANYTHING in there, so Natquik didn’t really understand what the bunny meant at first. Maybe there was a little creature that tried to bite him, or whatever.

As he looked left and right real quick, however, it became more clear as to what had triggered the ranger’s fears. And even worse, this kinda thing was reminiscent of something HE HIMSELF had gone through.

This was surrounding the entire Octopod. Was a sinkhole about to open up? Once more, the two didn’t know, but it spelled IMMINENT DANGER.

Not to mention… that blue-purple glow it emitted, AND the increasing temperature REALLY weren’t reassuring at all.

It was like… A LASER.

“Oh NO.” Natquik’s eyes got big. “Wait, I know who can help… PAANI! Over here!” He immediately called over for the macaque, whose attention was easily drawn. He eagerly waved at them, unaware of the situation., before putting himself between the bunny and the fox, his fins blanketing them both.

“Listen up, pancake!” Marsh would tell the manta ray. “You see that sand? There’s some kinda… thing going on, and it’s ABOUT TO GO BAD!”

“NOW, that’s a SIGHT!” Paani was astounded by the internal light show, before being given an awkward look by the two land dwellers.

“I mean, what makes you think it’s so bad anyways? It’s probably just a tunnel where those creatures came from-”

This was when the ground started to pulse, like a heart. Slowly, but it could be heard, and if it didn’t look bad, it CERTAINLY was now.

“OKAY, THAT’S IT!” Natquik shouted. “EVERYONE EVACUATE!”

The others had all heard him, at first a bit confused. Like he himself was, they didn’t understand it, before ANOTHER pulse came from below.

“Uh… did anyone feel that?” Kwazii would ask, only to let out a “YEOW!” after being pulled away by Barnacles, who, despite having no idea why he was instructed, believed Natquik more than greatly as he did for all his life.

It was best for others to follow, especially when the ground pulsed a THIRD time and glowed even more, resulting in the Octopod getting jostled around as a result. Everybody had to catch their bearings, before realizing their base had been turned UPRIGHT. And not at any other angle, no, this was a PERFECT 90 DEGREES. Normally, this would be a good thing, and it WAS, but… this wasn’t right.

“Wait, but what about…?!” Shellington tried calling out to the others, pointing at all the creatures inside. “We can’t just leave them here!”

“I’m sure it’s just a false alarm,” Peso would reply as he swam past the scientist. “It shouldn’t be too long!”

It wasn’t any use. You knew Barnacles and you trusted Barnacles. But THIS didn’t make any sense. Wasn’t the whole point of the Octonauts to EXPLORE? RESCUE?! PROTECT?!?!

Where were they going?

The otter was NOT going anywhere. He wanted to look after these guys, even in the midst of… whatever the ordeal was. He DID feel sorry for the other mermaids, seeing as he was ESSENTIALLY leaving everyone behind, INCLUDING KWAZII.

As he kept close to the HQ’s floor, he could hear the whispers of these little things. All of them, seemingly chanting something… some kinda name. What was this about? They didn’t seem bothered at all, did they? Surely they’d be aware of the danger themselves as well, but no, they just kept standing there like nothing was going on… continuing with their… ritual…? What was this?

Shellington tried to lend a hand, in hopes they’d climb on or something. He did have quite a long and sturdy tail too, so there was plenty of room for some of these smaller creatures. And yet they still didn’t budge… except for ONE little guy, who went up to his ear.

“We’ll be okay,” was all it said to him. As worried as the otter still was, he figured he’d have to let them go. If this was how things would be, then so be it. Besides, he couldn’t just leave Tunip—who looked over him—in the danger zone either.

Meanwhile, Pearl found it unbearable to watch her brother like this, before he IMMEDIATELY dashed out of there with the vegimal in his paws, faster… than an electronic rabbit. It was humiliating. It really was, and yet, Shellington—as well as the rest of the pod—loved the company of everyone in that reef and he didn’t want them getting hurt. No, never. And whilst he risked his OWN life, it was for others to save THEIRS. He’d apologize the moment he was in his sister’s proximity.

“FASTER, everyone!” Marsh would call out, “before it… IT… Uh…” He stopped. Perhaps everyone should calm down a little. Was it really as bad as he feared? Maybe it was entirely unrelated, to just be something entirely normal down here and not harmful at all.

He should’ve asked someone who KNEW about this thing. Someone who had past experience with these tremors. Someone who worked hard, day and night. Someone who meant so much to him…

Or, he could just ask Kwazii-

“TWEAK!” He gasped. With all his senses HOT, he immediately swam back towards the Octopod. “Stay back, y’all! I’ve gotta FIND HER!”

“Ranger, wait!” Natquik grabbed his arm. “If you go down there…”

“…Let me go down with YOU!”

To that, the bunny gave a bit of a smile, before the two, using their (inferior) legs, made a swim for the LAUNCH BAY. That’s where she’d always be, making sure the GUPs were in shipshape… most likely so since Kwazii couldn’t operate any.

Through the holes left days ago, Marsh squeezed his way in, trying to look for his daughter with great speed, only to conclude that, once again… she wasn’t there.

“C’mon… What is it?” He sighed. “Why can’t I just get a SINGLE MOMENT TO SEE HER AGAIN?! There’s gotta be something, SOMETHING going on…”

First it was the crash. Then it was getting here. And now everything was about to blow up. And yet, through all of this… No Tweak. Everyone was here, EXCEPT for Tweak.

She wasn’t dead, right? No, if she was, Barnacles would LET HIM KNOW. Which, he didn’t say anything explicitly about such, so that WAS a good sign.

“Please, Tweak…” he put his paws to his steam-covered helmet in despair. “Where ARE you?”

“Right behind ya, Pa.”

And THERE SHE WAS. Exactly how Marsh expected, maybe BETTER than before.

He was just at a loss of words. He swam towards her and gave her a big hug, relieved that she was doing well as always. Probably not even aware of the inbound eruption. Just enjoying herself, as hinted by her dark green eel tail.

“Sorry I didn’t speak up any earlier,” the engineer said with a hint of awkwardness. “I’ve been working a LOT since, and that’s taken up quiiite a lot of my schedule…”

That was totally logical. Though, for how proud Marsh was of Tweak for all that hard work, she DESERVED a BIG break, now that she was like this, as he thought with all honesty.

“Well, uh, do you have more things to do… in here?” He’d kindly ask, just trying to ignore his impending doom, but Natquik was silently panicking in the background, and THAT was concerning his daughter a little.

“Can’t say I do, but no worries, Pa.” Tweak replied with a hug and without hesitation. “You’ve been on my mind the WHOLE time. MY mind~!”

Now that was something the ranger was happy to hear. Of course he was on her mind, but getting that reaffirmation was always comforting. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, just like with his favorite Arctic fox.

But then, he remembered the whole thing going on around him. Natquik was outside, calling for him to “get out of there”, and the water wasn’t just warm—it was HOT, like a bowl of ramen!

“Hmm, my oxygen’s getting a little low now,” Marsh kept in a light mood, rubbing the fog off his helmet. “Why don’t head back to shore and talk all about it, alright?”

Tweak eagerly nodded, figuring it was all for the better anyways. To get to spend that long-awaited time was all she wanted at this very moment.

As the two would make their way out of the base, the ground below SLOWLY started to cave inwards, and the sand was getting everywhere. Tweak quickly covered her face until it settled, which was only a few seconds down, before rapidly looking back and seeing what had happened.

“Uh, is that supposed to happen?” Marsh also looked back with a chuckle, before catching sight of Natquik swimming towards him in panic. He was already following the bunnies, but he WAS caught off guard, despite being just as excellent in swimming as the ranger was.

“I knew it wasn’t going to be good!” The fox shouted out, as he tried doggy paddling his way to the coast. It wasn’t very effective, his arms and legs were getting tired, and he even feared he’d drown here. The panicking had drained his energy and in this kind of thing there was no time to replenish it.

Marsh was about to turn back to try and reach him, until another figure snatched Natquik by the paw and darted past the bunnies like nothing. Tweak, a little shocked, recognized who it was almost immediately.

“Oi! Ya think the coast is close~?” Ryla laughed joyously, giving the old fox a pat on the back. “C’mon, Tweak, let’s get these blokes some fresh air RIGHT NOW. Gotta take a breather, because I reckon we’ve all been flat out for SOME time now!”

Tweak was taken a little by surprise, but she eagerly accepted, grabbing Marsh by one hand and the wombat by the other. From there, they’d RAPIDLY breach the water, despite the heavy load from all 3 of the critters the former cave diver dealt with.

The 4 all floated on the surface, not sure what to do at this point. More than likely, the rest of the crew had already made it to Isla Guadalupe, or at least got MUCH closer than they were right now.

“So, uh, mates.” Ryla looked at the others, perplexed. “Is that it? Are we just stopping here?”

No answer. Just… just waiting here. Was anyone else aware? Definitely, but oh well.

“Well, uh, that’s what I wanna know,” Marsh shrugged. “Is it NOT happening, or are we, like, out of the blast radius?”

“…W-well,” Tweak stuttered a little. “I think we’re going to be completely okay, right guys?”

“Right, guys?”

BOOOOOOOM!

…And then, it all unfolded before their very eyes.

[animal-lover-forever]

And Then There Were Five.

Chapter Five: The Pain of the Past.

After the turtles got home– and Kai and Donnie got cleaned up– they had eaten dinner as soon as it was done. Once Kai had eaten, he had made his way to his room. Kai looked around his room, which was still relatively bare. There was a bed– which was mostly unused; more often than not, Kai opted to sleep on the floor– a nightstand, a place on the wall for Kai to put his scythe, some glow-in-the-dark star stickers that Mikey had put around the ceiling and walls, and a mat on the floor for Kai to sleep on when he didn’t use the bed.

Kai sighed before ditching the mat and crawling underneath the bed. He was just small enough to fit under there. He curled up, making himself as small as possible, and let his mind wander. His tail wrapped around his ankle for some form of comfort.

~~~

“You have failed too many times, Subject-5, and now you will be punished for it.”

Draxum had only started training Kai Subject-5 for a few months now. The first time Draxum had thrown the four-year-old into the pit, he had gotten his shell cracked from the impact of being thrown into a wall. S-5’s shell still wasn’t completely healed; it still hurt.

“N-no! Pwease!” S-5 cried as Draxum secured a muzzle onto him.

“Your current punishments clearly aren’t working, so maybe this will.”

S-5 cried and gave off many distressed chirps as he tried to take the muzzle off. The muzzle was mostly made of metal, and it secured to his neck so he couldn’t just slide it off his head. The muzzle had some spikes on it that dug into S-5’s scales the more he tried to take it off or even just used his mouth in general. Even a simple chirp made the spikes dig into his scales. He didn’t like it! He wanted it off! But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the muzzle off.

“I suggest you stop that. You won’t be able to get the muzzle off; only I can. And if you’re smart enough, you’ll have noticed that your incessant crying will only cause you more pain. So you would be wise to stop that useless crying and chirping. Silence is a virtue.”

‘Silence is a virtue.’ Subject-5 has heard Draxum say that before, but he had been saying that a lot more recently. The muzzle hurt, but Draxum was right; his crying only made it worse. His crying quieted down after a few minutes, and S-5 lowered to the ground with a small whine. His tail had wrapped around his ankle; it had been doing that recently. He didn’t know why, only that it seemed to happen when he felt sad and missed the love the way that things were before he started ‘training’.

“Good. Hopefully, this muzzle will prove to get results.”

~~~

The sound of footsteps dragged Subject-5 Kai out of his thoughts. He went invisible, not wanting to be seen right now.

“Kai?” Leo looked around for the turtle in question. “Are you in here?”

“Do you not see him?” Mikey asked from behind Leo. “I saw him go into his room.”

“Well, he either left his room, or he’s in there and is just invisible.”

“I don’t think he left, so he has to be in his room.”

“I’m gonna take a guess and say that he wants to be left alone.”

A small, barely audible chirp from inside Kai’s room told Leo that his predictions were correct.

“Well, we’re going to binge-watch all the Jupiter Jim films if you want to join us.” Mikey spoke up from behind Leo.

Another quiet chirp told them that they were heard, so they both left to head to the living room to watch their movies. Once Leo and Mikey left, Kai dropped his invisibility, and his mind started to wander once more.

~~~

Kai Subject-5’s beak was starting to bleed. He was in his cell again– he had been spending a lot of time here recently– and he had been trying to get the muzzle off with no success. He whined as the taste of blood started to fill his mouth as the spikes on the muzzle dug into his scales, drawing blood. S-5 hated this muzzle, and he didn’t understand why he had it. He was fighting the thing in the pit like Draxum wanted. S-5 whined some more before heading over to his makeshift bed– or a nest, as he liked to call it– that was made up of two blankets that he had managed to convince Draxum to let him have in here.

“What I do wrong?” Subject-5 asked quietly as he laid down on his blankets, staining them with the blood that dripped down his beak. He missed being able to play with Huginn and Muninn; he missed not being hungry all the time; he missed not having to train all the time; he missed sleeping in his room; he missed not being cold; he missed not hurting… he missed how things use to be.

…

….

……

S-5 had fallen asleep at some point due to his exhaustion from trying to get the muzzle off and the blood loss that came with it. He had only realized that he had fallen asleep when he was awoken by the sound of Draxum banging on the metal door of his cell.

“Subject-5, it is time to start your training for the day.”

S-5 got up– and had to pull the blanket off his beak since all of the blood the muzzle caused made the blanket stick to his beak as the blood dried– and walked over to Draxum.

“I see you did not learn your lesson with the muzzle since you’re covered in blood.”

S-5 gave off a quiet whine before lowering his head.

Draxum gave an annoyed sigh before starting to walk off. “Come on.”

S-5 was led back to the pit, where the same beast that he had been unable to defeat since he started training was released.

S-5 did as he always did when the beast was released: he tried to escape the pit, and just like every time before, he couldn’t. The beast roared and charged after Subject-5, and he scrambled to get out of the way. He was tired, and his beak hurt from the muzzle, and all this moving around was causing the spikes in the muzzle to dig into his scales and open the wound from last night.

The beast managed to ram into S-5 on its second try. He went crashing into the wall, hitting his shell once more. S-5 gave off a whine and a pained chirp as he fell and hit the ground. As he saw the beast charging at him once again, he didn’t even bother to get up and run away; instead, he curled up on the ground and stayed there. An easy target for the beast.

“S-5! Get up!” Draxum yelled from the edge of the pit. But he didn’t get up; he stayed right where he was, watching as the beast ran closer and closer to him. “Subject-5!”

Subject-5 closed his eyes and waited for the impact of the beast. When S-5 didn’t feel any pain from the hit he was expecting, he opened his eyes to see the beast struggling against its restraints. Draxum tightened the vines that were wrapped around the beast, and it roared in protest. The vines put the beast back in its cage before a set of vines grabbed ahold of S-5 and brought him closer to Draxum.

“What were you thinking!?”

S-5 only whined before he closed his eyes again. He heard Draxum growl before he felt himself being dragged off by the vines and heard the sound of Draxum’s hooves clacking against the ground as he walked in front of S-5, leading the vines that were wrapped around him tightly.

S-5 could hear Draxum say something about Subject-5 not being fed for a week or so just before he was tossed back into his cell. S-5 let off a small pained chirp as he hit the floor, and he continued to lie where he landed, even well after he heard the metal door slam shut. He was just too exhausted to move. Too empty to move.

~~~

Subject-5 Kai looked at the glow-in-the-dark stickers from his spot underneath the bed. His tail’s grip on his ankle tightened as his hand started to trace along the small scars that littered his beak.

He really was defective, wasn’t he? He wasn’t with Draxum anymore, yet he was still messing up, just in a different way than before. He wasn’t fighting well enough, not killing fast enough for Draxum’s liking. But his brothers didn’t like the idea of killing your opponent. ‘We don’t kill people, Kai. That’s wrong.’ Mikey’s words echoed in his head. ‘It’s not just any muzzle, Kai. It has enough room for you to still use your mouth normally, but when you start to use too much force while fighting, it will tighten to let you know. The mittens will also help.’ And Donnie had got a muzzle and mittens so Kai wouldn't be able to kill anyone very easily.

All Kai knew was fighting. Observe your opponent, look for their strengths and weaknesses, then exploit their weaknesses. The goal was to prepare Subject-5 for fighting in a war that would hopefully end with the extinction of humankind. To erase the humans so yokai-kind could return to the surface they were chased away from. But since Kai has been with his brothers, he hasn’t had a proper training day. He had observed his brothers once while they started training, but it was nothing like the training he did when he was still with Draxum. They didn’t fight another creature with the intent to kill; instead, they fought each other and stopped if one thought that they hurt another. And if anything, their training had seemed more like playing.

Kai wasn’t sure he could do that. He spent most of his life learning how to fight– how to kill. He wanted to be able to please his brothers, but he didn’t know how to do that. How could a defective subject like him do such a thing? Kai was broken; too broken for Draxum and too broken for his brothers. Maybe he should leave. His brothers don’t need a defective and broken subject. He should look around and try to be better for his brothers. Maybe he can fix himself. Who is he kidding? He’s broken and will always be broken.

~~~

Kai Subject-5 has been training for five months now. He stood over the beast, who was limp on the ground. The beast’s blood dripped from his beak and onto the ground, mixing with the blood that spilled from the beast’s neck. Panting, S-5 looked away from the limp– dead– form

of the beast and looked at Draxum, who stood atop the edge of the pit.

“Well done Subject-5. It took you five months to defeat your opponent, but you finally did it.”

“Did good?” S-5 asked Draxum, looking hopeful at him.

“Yes, you did good.”

S-5’s tail wagged slightly. He had did it, Draxum was happy with him again. Subject-5 did good! Things can finally go back to the way they were! No more cold dark cell; no more being hungry; no more pain! He could finally play again!

“We will see how you do with your next opponent in a week.”

S-5 looked at Draxum, his wagging tail slowing to a stop. “Can play?”

“You must put those childish ways away, Subject-5. You are starting your training so that you can learn to fight so that you can help lead a war to kill off humankind and let yokai-kind retake our place back on the surface where we belong.”

And in a matter of seconds, all of the happiness S-5 had felt shattered into a million pieces. Were things going to stay like this? Were things not going to go back to normal? He didn’t want things to stay like this.

~~~

The sound of Subject-5’s Kai's own chirp had pulled him out of his thoughts, and he instinctually covered his mouth to muffle the chirp when he felt the warm liquid drip onto his hands. When had he started crying? Kai curled up, becoming as small as he could get before he just decided to go into his shell and cried quietly. He kept his crying and chirping quiet; he didn’t need Draxum his brothers hearing him; he didn’t want to make things worse worry them.

~~~

After Kai’s Subject-5’s first kill, he quickly learned to go for the throat. The throat was the best way to ensure victory. He has been training for seven months now, and this was the third beast– or ‘failed experiment’ as Draxum called them– that S-5 had to fight. This was his first time in the pit with this creature. The beast’s body resembled that of a snake– he had seen one of those once when he was three– and had these claws that looked like they came from a bug; the beast also had a lot of sharp teeth.

The creature shrieked before it charged toward S-5, using its raptorial claws to help it move just that much faster. S-5 dodged out of the way. For a while, dodging the failed experiment was all he did. ‘Assess your opponent, find their weakness, then exploit them.’ Draxum’s words echoed through his head. Subject-5 wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but if it made Draxum happy, then he would try his best!

The creature had rammed into the wall during one of its attempts to ram S-5. With the beast dazed from hitting the wall, S-5 took his chance and jumped onto the failed experiment and sunk his teeth into the creature’s neck– at least, he thinks it’s the neck, but it’s hard to tell. The creature shrieked before it used its body to slam S-5 into the floor; it then quickly picked S-5 with its tail and squeezed him hard. Subject-5 hissed before he gave off a pained chirp as the beast’s grip on him tightened. He struggled to get free, black spots starting to fill his vision.

…

….

……

When Subject-5 woke up, he was in his cell again, and the muzzle was back on. He hated this stupid muzzle! He always ended up bleeding when it was on, and it hurt a lot. S-5’s body hurt a lot, but he forced himself up, stumbled over to his blankets, and collapsed onto them. He let out a desperate whine. Why couldn’t he do anything right? He wanted to make Draxum happy; when he was happy, that made Subject-5 happy. Getting to sleep in his room, being able to eat, not having to wear the muzzle, and not hurting as much were also good bonuses. Maybe someday, when S-5 gets bigger and can understand more things, he can make Draxum happy all the time! Then he wouldn’t hurt and go hungry while he slept in his cell with the muzzle on!

S-5 will work extra extra hard next time! He’ll make Draxum so proud! He was sure of it! So sure, in fact, that it just wasn’t possible for him to fail at making Draxum happy! If only his brothers were still alive, maybe it would have been easier to make Draxum happy if they had been here. Maybe the pain, hunger, and loneliness wouldn’t be as bad if they were still alive. He just hoped that they were happy where they were. S-5 fell asleep that night, thinking about all the ways he would make Draxum proud and happy; his tail even wagged at all the possibilities he could think of.

~~~

Subject-5 Kai didn’t know how long he had been in his room, remembering the pain of the past, but he couldn’t stay there forever, so he popped out of his shell, wiped away the evidence of his crying, and sighed before he made his way out from under the bed. Mikey had mentioned something about binge-watching some films; he should leave his room and join up with his brothers. Kai went invisible before heading off to the living room.

As Kai entered the living room, he saw all four of his brothers and a title screen that read ‘Jupiter Jim and the Revenge of the Aliens from Planet Neverworth.’ playing on the projector. The turtle made his way over to his brothers and flopped down on Mikey, getting an ‘Ooof!’ out of him before he became visible once more.

“Hey Kai, nice of you to join us.” Mikey said as he hugged Kai.

Kai sighed as he pressed his beak to Mikey’s plastron and wrapped his tail around Leo’s leg since he was right next to Mikey.

“You doin’ alright, Kai?” Raph asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Mikey asked in what Leo had picked up as his ‘Dr. Feelings’ voice. “You aren’t usually this… cuddly.”

“Yeah… I just needed some time to think.”

“Right… Well, I think you and me are gonna have a talk tomorrow.”

“Oh, boi. You better start planning your escape now.” Leo told Kai.

“What? Why?” Kai asked as his tail subtly tightened its grip on Leo’s leg.

“Because Dr. Feelings has just scheduled an appointment with you.”

“Leo, stop. You act like it’s the end of the world. Don’t worry, Kai, nothing bad will happen; we’re just going to spend an hour or so talking about how you feel.” Mikey reassured. “But we’ll do that tomorrow; for now, let’s just watch some good ol’ JJ films.”

Kai gave a quiet chirp before repositioning himself to lie between Mikey and Leo. He kept his tail wrapped around Leo’s leg and rested his head on Mikey’s lap. Once Kai had settled, he watched some JJ films as he listened to his brothers breathing and chatting amongst each other during certain scenes across different films.

<- Prev Next ->

[troublesjunkyard]

And Then There Were Five.

Chapter five: The Pain of the Past.

(Tip: Kai Subject-5 is 4 years-old in the flashbacks.)

After the turtles got home– and Kai and Donnie got cleaned up– they had eaten dinner as soon as it was done. Once Kai had eaten, he had made his way to his room. Kai looked around his room, which was still relatively bare. There was a bed– which was mostly unused; more often than not, Kai opted to sleep on the floor– a nightstand, a place on the wall for Kai to put his scythe, some glow-in-the-dark star stickers that Mikey had put around the ceiling and walls, and a mat on the floor for Kai to sleep on when he didn’t use the bed.

Kai sighed before ditching the mat and crawling underneath the bed. He was just small enough to fit under there. He curled up, making himself as small as possible, and let his mind wander. His tail wrapped around his ankle for some form of comfort.

~~~

“You have failed too many times, Subject-5, and now you will be punished for it.”

Draxum had only started training Kai Subject-5 for a few months now. The first time Draxum had thrown the four-year-old into the pit, he had gotten his shell cracked from the impact of being thrown into a wall. S-5’s shell still wasn’t completely healed; it still hurt.

“N-no! Pwease!” S-5 cried as Draxum secured a muzzle onto him.

“Your current punishments clearly aren’t working, so maybe this will.”

S-5 cried and gave off many distressed chirps as he tried to take the muzzle off. The muzzle was mostly made of metal, and it secured to his neck so he couldn’t just slide it off his head. The muzzle had some spikes on it that dug into S-5’s scales the more he tried to take it off or even just used his mouth in general. Even a simple chirp made the spikes dig into his scales. He didn’t like it! He wanted it off! But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the muzzle off.

“I suggest you stop that. You won’t be able to get the muzzle off; only I can. And if you’re smart enough, you’ll have noticed that your incessant crying will only cause you more pain. So you would be wise to stop that useless crying and chirping. Silence is a virtue.”

‘Silence is a virtue.’ Subject-5 has heard Draxum say that before, but he had been saying that a lot more recently. The muzzle hurt, but Draxum was right; his crying only made it worse. His crying quieted down after a few minutes, and S-5 lowered to the ground with a small whine. His tail had wrapped around his ankle; it had been doing that recently. He didn’t know why, only that it seemed to happen when he felt sad and missed the love the way that things were before he started ‘training’.

“Good. Hopefully, this muzzle will prove to get results.”

~~~

The sound of footsteps dragged Subject-5 Kai out of his thoughts. He went invisible, not wanting to be seen right now.

“Kai?” Leo looked around for the turtle in question. “Are you in here?”

“Do you not see him?” Mikey asked from behind Leo. “I saw him go into his room.”

“Well, he either left his room, or he’s in there and is just invisible.”

“I don’t think he left, so he has to be in his room.”

“I’m gonna take a guess and say that he wants to be left alone.”

A small, barely audible chirp from inside Kai’s room told Leo that his predictions were correct.

“Well, we’re going to binge-watch all the Jupiter Jim films if you want to join us.” Mikey spoke up from behind Leo.

Another quiet chirp told them that they were heard, so they both left to head to the living room to watch their movies. Once Leo and Mikey left, Kai dropped his invisibility, and his mind started to wander once more.

~~~

Kai Subject-5’s beak was starting to bleed. He was in his cell again– he had been spending a lot of time here recently– and he had been trying to get the muzzle off with no success. He whined as the taste of blood started to fill his mouth as the spikes on the muzzle dug into his scales, drawing blood. S-5 hated this muzzle, and he didn’t understand why he had it. He was fighting the thing in the pit like Draxum wanted. S-5 whined some more before heading over to his makeshift bed– or a nest, as he liked to call it– that was made up of two blankets that he had managed to convince Draxum to let him have in here.

“What I do wrong?” Subject-5 asked quietly as he laid down on his blankets, staining them with the blood that dripped down his beak. He missed being able to play with Huginn and Muninn; he missed not being hungry all the time; he missed not having to train all the time; he missed sleeping in his room; he missed not being cold; he missed not hurting… he missed how things use to be.

…

….

……

S-5 had fallen asleep at some point due to his exhaustion from trying to get the muzzle off and the blood loss that came with it. He had only realized that he had fallen asleep when he was awoken by the sound of Draxum banging on the metal door of his cell.

“Subject-5, it is time to start your training for the day.”

S-5 got up– and had to pull the blanket off his beak since all of the blood the muzzle caused made the blanket stick to his beak as the blood dried– and walked over to Draxum.

“I see you did not learn your lesson with the muzzle since you’re covered in blood.”

S-5 gave off a quiet whine before lowering his head.

Draxum gave an annoyed sigh before starting to walk off. “Come on.”

S-5 was led back to the pit, where the same beast that he had been unable to defeat since he started training was released.

S-5 did as he always did when the beast was released: he tried to escape the pit, and just like every time before, he couldn’t. The beast roared and charged after Subject-5, and he scrambled to get out of the way. He was tired, and his beak hurt from the muzzle, and all this moving around was causing the spikes in the muzzle to dig into his scales and open the wound from last night.

The beast managed to ram into S-5 on its second try. He went crashing into the wall, hitting his shell once more. S-5 gave off a whine and a pained chirp as he fell and hit the ground. As he saw the beast charging at him once again, he didn’t even bother to get up and run away; instead, he curled up on the ground and stayed there. An easy target for the beast.

“S-5! Get up!” Draxum yelled from the edge of the pit. But he didn’t get up; he stayed right where he was, watching as the beast ran closer and closer to him. “Subject-5!”

Subject-5 closed his eyes and waited for the impact of the beast. When S-5 didn’t feel any pain from the hit he was expecting, he opened his eyes to see the beast struggling against its restraints. Draxum tightened the vines that were wrapped around the beast, and it roared in protest. The vines put the beast back in its cage before a set of vines grabbed ahold of S-5 and brought him closer to Draxum.

“What were you thinking!?”

S-5 only whined before he closed his eyes again. He heard Draxum growl before he felt himself being dragged off by the vines and heard the sound of Draxum’s hooves clacking against the ground as he walked in front of S-5, leading the vines that were wrapped around him tightly.

S-5 could hear Draxum say something about Subject-5 not being fed for a week or so just before he was tossed back into his cell. S-5 let off a small pained chirp as he hit the floor, and he continued to lie where he landed, even well after he heard the metal door slam shut. He was just too exhausted to move. Too empty to move.

~~~

Subject-5 Kai looked at the glow-in-the-dark stickers from his spot underneath the bed. His tail’s grip on his ankle tightened as his hand started to trace along the small scars that littered his beak.

He really was defective, wasn’t he? He wasn’t with Draxum anymore, yet he was still messing up, just in a different way than before. He wasn’t fighting well enough, not killing fast enough for Draxum’s liking. But his brothers didn’t like the idea of killing your opponent. ‘We don’t kill people, Kai. That’s wrong.’ Mikey’s words echoed in his head. ‘It’s not just any muzzle, Kai. It has enough room for you to still use your mouth normally, but when you start to use too much force while fighting, it will tighten to let you know. The mittens will also help.’ And Donnie had got a muzzle and mittens so Kai wouldn't be able to kill anyone very easily.

All Kai knew was fighting. Observe your opponent, look for their strengths and weaknesses, then exploit their weaknesses. The goal was to prepare Subject-5 for fighting in a war that would hopefully end with the extinction of humankind. To erase the humans so yokai-kind could return to the surface they were chased away from. But since Kai has been with his brothers, he hasn’t had a proper training day. He had observed his brothers once while they started training, but it was nothing like the training he did when he was still with Draxum. They didn’t fight another creature with the intent to kill; instead, they fought each other and stopped if one thought that they hurt another. And if anything, their training had seemed more like playing.

Kai wasn’t sure he could do that. He spent most of his life learning how to fight– how to kill. He wanted to be able to please his brothers, but he didn’t know how to do that. How could a defective subject like him do such a thing? Kai was broken; too broken for Draxum and too broken for his brothers. Maybe he should leave. His brothers don’t need a defective and broken subject. He should look around and try to be better for his brothers. Maybe he can fix himself. Who is he kidding? He’s broken and will always be broken.

~~~

Kai Subject-5 has been training for five months now. He stood over the beast, who was limp on the ground. The beast’s blood dripped from his beak and onto the ground, mixing with the blood that spilled from the beast’s neck. Panting, S-5 looked away from the limp– dead– form of the beast and looked at Draxum, who stood atop the edge of the pit.

“Well done Subject-5. It took you five months to defeat your opponent, but you finally did it.”

“Did good?” S-5 asked Draxum, looking hopeful at him.

“Yes, you did good.”

S-5’s tail wagged slightly. He had did it, Draxum was happy with him again. Subject-5 did good! Things can finally go back to the way they were! No more cold dark cell; no more being hungry; no more pain! He could finally play again!

“We will see how you do with your next opponent in a week.”

S-5 looked at Draxum, his wagging tail slowing to a stop. “Can play?”

“You must put those childish ways away, Subject-5. You are starting your training so that you can learn to fight so that you can help lead a war to kill off humankind and let yokai-kind retake our place back on the surface where we belong.”

And in a matter of seconds, all of the happiness S-5 had felt shattered into a million pieces. Were things going to stay like this? Were things not going to go back to normal? He didn’t want things to stay like this.

~~~

The sound of Subject-5’s Kai's own chirp had pulled him out of his thoughts, and he instinctually covered his mouth to muffle the chirp when he felt the warm liquid drip onto his hands. When had he started crying? Kai curled up, becoming as small as he could get before he just decided to go into his shell and cried quietly. He kept his crying and chirping quiet; he didn’t need Draxum his brothers hearing him; he didn’t want to make things worse worry them.

~~~

After Kai’s Subject-5’s first kill, he quickly learned to go for the throat. The throat was the best way to ensure victory. He has been training for seven months now, and this was the third beast– or ‘failed experiment’ as Draxum called them– that S-5 had to fight. This was his first time in the pit with this creature. The beast’s body resembled that of a snake– he had seen one of those once when he was three– and had these claws that looked like they came from a bug; the beast also had a lot of sharp teeth.

The creature shrieked before it charged toward S-5, using its raptorial claws to help it move just that much faster. S-5 dodged out of the way. For a while, dodging the failed experiment was all he did. ‘Assess your opponent, find their weakness, then exploit them.’ Draxum’s words echoed through his head. Subject-5 wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but if it made Draxum happy, then he would try his best!

The creature had rammed into the wall during one of its attempts to ram S-5. With the beast dazed from hitting the wall, S-5 took his chance and jumped onto the failed experiment and sunk his teeth into the creature’s neck– at least, he thinks it’s the neck, but it’s hard to tell. The creature shrieked before it used its body to slam S-5 into the floor; it then quickly picked S-5 with its tail and squeezed him hard. Subject-5 hissed before he gave off a pained chirp as the beast’s grip on him tightened. He struggled to get free, black spots starting to fill his vision.

…

….

……

When Subject-5 woke up, he was in his cell again, and the muzzle was back on. He hated this stupid muzzle! He always ended up bleeding when it was on, and it hurt a lot. S-5’s body hurt a lot, but he forced himself up, stumbled over to his blankets, and collapsed onto them. He let out a desperate whine. Why couldn't he do anything right? He wanted to make Draxum happy; when he was happy, that made Subject-5 happy. Getting to sleep in his room, being able to eat, not having to wear the muzzle, and not hurting as much were also good bonuses. Maybe someday, when S-5 gets bigger and can understand more things, he can make Draxum happy all the time! Then he wouldn’t hurt and go hungry while he slept in his cell with the muzzle on!

S-5 will work extra extra hard next time! He’ll make Draxum so proud! He was sure of it! So sure, in fact, that it just wasn’t possible for him to fail at making Draxum happy! If only his brothers were still alive, maybe it would have been easier to make Draxum happy if they had been here. Maybe the pain, hunger, and loneliness wouldn’t be as bad if they were still alive. He just hoped that they were happy where they were. S-5 fell asleep that night, thinking about all the ways he would make Draxum proud and happy; his tail even wagged at all the possibilities he could think of.

~~~

Subject-5 Kai didn’t know how long he had been in his room, remembering the pain of the past, but he couldn’t stay there forever, so he popped out of his shell, wiped away the evidence of his crying, and sighed before he made his way out from under the bed. Mikey had mentioned something about binge-watching some films; he should leave his room and join up with his brothers. Kai went invisible before heading off to the living room.

As Kai entered the living room, he saw all four of his brothers and a title screen that read ‘Jupiter Jim and the Revenge of the Aliens from Planet Neverworth.’ playing on the projector. The turtle made his way over to his brothers and flopped down on Mikey, getting an ‘Ooof!’ out of him before he became visible once more.

“Hey Kai, nice of you to join us.” Mikey said as he hugged Kai.

Kai sighed as he pressed his beak to Mikey’s plastron and wrapped his tail around Leo’s leg since he was right next to Mikey.

“You doin’ alright, Kai?” Raph asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Mikey asked in what Leo had picked up as his ‘Dr. Feelings’ voice. “You aren’t usually this… cuddly.”

“Yeah… I just needed some time to think.”

“Right… Well, I think you and me are gonna have a talk tomorrow.”

“Oh, boi. You better start planning your escape now.” Leo told Kai.

“What? Why?” Kai asked as his tail subtly tightened its grip on Leo’s leg.

“Because Dr. Feelings has just scheduled an appointment with you.”

“Leo, stop. You act like it’s the end of the world. Don’t worry, Kai, nothing bad will happen; we’re just going to spend an hour or so talking about how you feel.” Mikey reassured. “But we’ll do that tomorrow; for now, let’s just watch some good ol’ JJ films.”

Kai gave a quiet chirp before repositioning himself to lie between Mikey and Leo. He kept his tail wrapped around Leo’s leg and rested his head on Mikey’s lap. Once Kai had settled, he watched some JJ films as he listened to his brothers breathing and chatting amongst each other during certain scenes across different films.

Damn why did Tumblr didn't notify me....

But aaaaaw nooo poor Kai... (っ °Д °;)っ

[riseleon]

Here, "ATTWF." ch 5: The Pain of the Past.

(Tip: Kai Subject-5 is 4 years-old in the flashbacks.)

After the turtles got home– and Kai and Donnie got cleaned up– they had eaten dinner as soon as it was done. Once Kai had eaten, he had made his way to his room. Kai looked around his room, which was still relatively bare. There was a bed– which was mostly unused; more often than not, Kai opted to sleep on the floor– a nightstand, a place on the wall for Kai to put his scythe, some glow-in-the-dark star stickers that Mikey had put around the ceiling and walls, and a mat on the floor for Kai to sleep on when he didn’t use the bed.

Kai sighed before ditching the mat and crawling underneath the bed. He was just small enough to fit under there. He curled up, making himself as small as possible, and let his mind wander. His tail wrapped around his ankle for some form of comfort.

~~~

“You have failed too many times, Subject-5, and now you will be punished for it.”

Draxum had only started training Kai Subject-5 for a few months now. The first time Draxum had thrown the four-year-old into the pit, he had gotten his shell cracked from the impact of being thrown into a wall. S-5’s shell still wasn’t completely healed; it still hurt.

“N-no! Pwease!” S-5 cried as Draxum secured a muzzle onto him.

“Your current punishments clearly aren’t working, so maybe this will.”

S-5 cried and gave off many distressed chirps as he tried to take the muzzle off. The muzzle was mostly made of metal, and it secured to his neck so he couldn’t just slide it off his head. The muzzle had some spikes on it that dug into S-5’s scales the more he tried to take it off or even just used his mouth in general. Even a simple chirp made the spikes dig into his scales. He didn’t like it! He wanted it off! But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the muzzle off.

“I suggest you stop that. You won’t be able to get the muzzle off; only I can. And if you’re smart enough, you’ll have noticed that your incessant crying will only cause you more pain. So you would be wise to stop that useless crying and chirping. Silence is a virtue.”

‘Silence is a virtue.’ Subject-5 has heard Draxum say that before, but he had been saying that a lot more recently. The muzzle hurt, but Draxum was right; his crying only made it worse. His crying quieted down after a few minutes, and S-5 lowered to the ground with a small whine. His tail had wrapped around his ankle; it had been doing that recently. He didn’t know why, only that it seemed to happen when he felt sad and missed the love the way that things were before he started ‘training’.

“Good. Hopefully, this muzzle will prove to get results.”

~~~

The sound of footsteps dragged Subject-5 Kai out of his thoughts. He went invisible, not wanting to be seen right now.

“Kai?” Leo looked around for the turtle in question. “Are you in here?”

“Do you not see him?” Mikey asked from behind Leo. “I saw him go into his room.”

“Well, he either left his room, or he’s in there and is just invisible.”

“I don’t think he left, so he has to be in his room.”

“I’m gonna take a guess and say that he wants to be left alone.”

A small, barely audible chirp from inside Kai’s room told Leo that his predictions were correct.

“Well, we’re going to binge-watch all the Jupiter Jim films if you want to join us.” Mikey spoke up from behind Leo.

Another quiet chirp told them that they were heard, so they both left to head to the living room to watch their movies. Once Leo and Mikey left, Kai dropped his invisibility, and his mind started to wander once more.

~~~

Kai Subject-5’s beak was starting to bleed. He was in his cell again– he had been spending a lot of time here recently– and he had been trying to get the muzzle off with no success. He whined as the taste of blood started to fill his mouth as the spikes on the muzzle dug into his scales, drawing blood. S-5 hated this muzzle, and he didn’t understand why he had it. He was fighting the thing in the pit like Draxum wanted. S-5 whined some more before heading over to his makeshift bed– or a nest, as he liked to call it– that was made up of two blankets that he had managed to convince Draxum to let him have in here.

“What I do wrong?” Subject-5 asked quietly as he laid down on his blankets, staining them with the blood that dripped down his beak. He missed being able to play with Huginn and Muninn; he missed not being hungry all the time; he missed not having to train all the time; he missed sleeping in his room; he missed not being cold; he missed not hurting… he missed how things use to be.

…

….

……

S-5 had fallen asleep at some point due to his exhaustion from trying to get the muzzle off and the blood loss that came with it. He had only realized that he had fallen asleep when he was awoken by the sound of Draxum banging on the metal door of his cell.

“Subject-5, it is time to start your training for the day.”

S-5 got up– and had to pull the blanket off his beak since all of the blood the muzzle caused made the blanket stick to his beak as the blood dried– and walked over to Draxum.

“I see you did not learn your lesson with the muzzle since you’re covered in blood.”

S-5 gave off a quiet whine before lowering his head.

Draxum gave an annoyed sigh before starting to walk off. “Come on.”

S-5 was led back to the pit, where the same beast that he had been unable to defeat since he started training was released.

S-5 did as he always did when the beast was released: he tried to escape the pit, and just like every time before, he couldn’t. The beast roared and charged after Subject-5, and he scrambled to get out of the way. He was tired, and his beak hurt from the muzzle, and all this moving around was causing the spikes in the muzzle to dig into his scales and open the wound from last night.

The beast managed to ram into S-5 on its second try. He went crashing into the wall, hitting his shell once more. S-5 gave off a whine and a pained chirp as he fell and hit the ground. As he saw the beast charging at him once again, he didn’t even bother to get up and run away; instead, he curled up on the ground and stayed there. An easy target for the beast.

“S-5! Get up!” Draxum yelled from the edge of the pit. But he didn’t get up; he stayed right where he was, watching as the beast ran closer and closer to him. “Subject-5!”

Subject-5 closed his eyes and waited for the impact of the beast. When S-5 didn’t feel any pain from the hit he was expecting, he opened his eyes to see the beast struggling against its restraints. Draxum tightened the vines that were wrapped around the beast, and it roared in protest. The vines put the beast back in its cage before a set of vines grabbed ahold of S-5 and brought him closer to Draxum.

“What were you thinking!?”

S-5 only whined before he closed his eyes again. He heard Draxum growl before he felt himself being dragged off by the vines and heard the sound of Draxum’s hooves clacking against the ground as he walked in front of S-5, leading the vines that were wrapped around him tightly.

S-5 could hear Draxum say something about Subject-5 not being fed for a week or so just before he was tossed back into his cell. S-5 let off a small pained chirp as he hit the floor, and he continued to lie where he landed, even well after he heard the metal door slam shut. He was just too exhausted to move. Too empty to move.

~~~

Subject-5 Kai looked at the glow-in-the-dark stickers from his spot underneath the bed. His tail’s grip on his ankle tightened as his hand started to trace along the small scars that littered his beak.

He really was defective, wasn’t he? He wasn’t with Draxum anymore, yet he was still messing up, just in a different way than before. He wasn’t fighting well enough, not killing fast enough for Draxum’s liking. But his brothers didn’t like the idea of killing your opponent. ‘We don’t kill people, Kai. That’s wrong.’ Mikey’s words echoed in his head. ‘It’s not just any muzzle, Kai. It has enough room for you to still use your mouth normally, but when you start to use too much force while fighting, it will tighten to let you know. The mittens will also help.’ And Donnie had got a muzzle and mittens so Kai wouldn't be able to kill anyone very easily.

All Kai knew was fighting. Observe your opponent, look for their strengths and weaknesses, then exploit their weaknesses. The goal was to prepare Subject-5 for fighting in a war that would hopefully end with the extinction of humankind. To erase the humans so yokai-kind could return to the surface they were chased away from. But since Kai has been with his brothers, he hasn’t had a proper training day. He had observed his brothers once while they started training, but it was nothing like the training he did when he was still with Draxum. They didn’t fight another creature with the intent to kill; instead, they fought each other and stopped if one thought that they hurt another. And if anything, their training had seemed more like playing.

Kai wasn’t sure he could do that. He spent most of his life learning how to fight– how to kill. He wanted to be able to please his brothers, but he didn’t know how to do that. How could a defective subject like him do such a thing? Kai was broken; too broken for Draxum and too broken for his brothers. Maybe he should leave. His brothers don’t need a defective and broken subject. He should look around and try to be better for his brothers. Maybe he can fix himself. Who is he kidding? He’s broken and will always be broken.

~~~

Kai Subject-5 has been training for five months now. He stood over the beast, who was limp on the ground. The beast’s blood dripped from his beak and onto the ground, mixing with the blood that spilled from the beast’s neck. Panting, S-5 looked away from the limp– dead– form

of the beast and looked at Draxum, who stood atop the edge of the pit.

“Well done Subject-5. It took you five months to defeat your opponent, but you finally did it.”

“Did good?” S-5 asked Draxum, looking hopeful at him.

“Yes, you did good.”

S-5’s tail wagged slightly. He had did it, Draxum was happy with him again. Subject-5 did good! Things can finally go back to the way they were! No more cold dark cell; no more being hungry; no more pain! He could finally play again!

“We will see how you do with your next opponent in a week.”

S-5 looked at Draxum, his wagging tail slowing to a stop. “Can play?”

“You must put those childish ways away, Subject-5. You are starting your training so that you can learn to fight so that you can help lead a war to kill off humankind and let yokai-kind retake our place back on the surface where we belong.”

And in a matter of seconds, all the happiness S-5 had felt shattered into a million pieces. Were things going to stay like this? Were things not going to go back to normal? He didn’t want things to stay like this.

~~~

The sound of Subject-5’s Kai's own chirp had pulled him out of his thoughts, and he instinctually covered his mouth to muffle the chirp when he felt the warm liquid drip onto his hands. When had he started crying? Kai curled up, becoming as small as he could get before he just decided to go into his shell and cried quietly. He kept his crying and chirping quiet; he didn’t need Draxum his brothers hearing him; he didn’t want to make things worse worry them.

~~~

After Kai’s Subject-5’s first kill, he quickly learned to go for the throat. The throat was the best way to ensure victory. He has been training for seven months now, and this was the third beast– or ‘failed experiment’ as Draxum called them– that S-5 had to fight. This was his first time in the pit with this creature. The beast’s body resembled that of a snake– he had seen one of those once when he was three– and had these claws that looked like they came from a bug; the beast also had a lot of sharp teeth.

The creature shrieked before it charged toward S-5, using its raptorial claws to help it move just that much faster. S-5 dodged out of the way. For a while, dodging the failed experiment was all he did. ‘Assess your opponent, find their weakness, then exploit them.’ Draxum’s words echoed through his head. Subject-5 wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but if it made Draxum happy, then he would try his best!

The creature had rammed into the wall during one of its attempts to ram S-5. With the beast dazed from hitting the wall, S-5 took his chance and jumped onto the failed experiment and sunk his teeth into the creature’s neck– at least, he thinks it’s the neck, but it’s hard to tell. The creature shrieked before it used its body to slam S-5 into the floor; it then quickly picked S-5 with its tail and squeezed him hard. Subject-5 hissed before he gave off a pained chirp as the beast’s grip on him tightened. He struggled to get free, black spots starting to fill his vision.

…

….

……

When Subject-5 woke up, he was in his cell again, and the muzzle was back on. He hated this stupid muzzle! He always ended up bleeding when it was on, and it hurt a lot. S-5’s body hurt a lot, but he forced himself up, stumbled over to his blankets, and collapsed onto them. He let out a desperate whine. Why could he do anything right? He wanted to make Draxum happy; when he was happy, that made Subject-5 happy. Getting to sleep in his room, being able to eat, not having to wear the muzzle, and not hurting as much were also good bonuses. Maybe someday, when S-5 gets bigger and can understand more things, he can make Draxum happy all the time! Then he wouldn’t hurt and go hungry while he slept in his cell with the muzzle on!

S-5 will work extra extra hard next time! He’ll make Draxum so proud! He was sure of it! So sure, in fact, that it just wasn’t possible for him to fail at making Draxum happy! If only his brothers were still alive, maybe it would have been easier to make Draxum happy if they had been here. Maybe the pain, hunger, and loneliness wouldn’t be as bad if they were still alive. He just hoped that they were happy where they were. S-5 fell asleep that night, thinking about all the ways he would make Draxum proud and happy; his tail even wagged at all the possibilities he could think of.

~~~

Subject-5 Kai didn’t know how long he had been in his room, remembering the pain of the past, but he couldn’t stay there forever, so he popped out of his shell and wiped away the evidence of his crying and sighed before he made his way out from under the bed. Mikey had mentioned something about binge-watching some films; he should leave his room and join up with his brothers. Kai went invisible before heading off to the living room.

As Kai entered the living room, he saw all four of his brothers and a title screen that read ‘Jupiter Jim and the Revenge of the Aliens from Planet Neverworth.’ playing on the projector. The turtle made his way over to his brothers and flopped down on Mikey, getting an ‘Ooof!’ out of him before he became visible once more.

“Hey Kai, nice of you to join us.” Mikey said as he hugged Kai.

Kai sighed as he pressed his beak to Mikey’s plastron and wrapped his tail around Leo’s leg since he was right next to Mikey.

“You doin’ alright, Kai?” Raph asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Mikey asked in what Leo had picked up as his ‘Dr. Feelings’ voice. “You aren’t usually this… cuddly.”

“Yeah… I just needed some time to think.”

“Right… Well, I think you and me are gonna have a talk tomorrow.”

“Oh, boi. You better start planning your escape now.” Leo told Kai.

“What? Why?” Kai asked as his tail subtly tightened its grip on Leo’s leg.

“Because Dr. Feelings has just scheduled an appointment with you.”

“Leo, stop. You act like it’s the end of the world. Don’t worry, Kai, nothing bad will happen; we’re just going to spend an hour or so talking about how you feel.” Mikey reassured. “But we’ll do that tomorrow; for now, let’s just watch some good ol’ JJ films.”

Kai gave a quiet chirp before repositioning himself to lie between Mikey and Leo. He kept his tail wrapped around Leo’s leg and rested his head on Mikey’s lap. Once Kai had settled, he watched some JJ films as he listened to his brothers breathing and chatting amongst each other during certain scenes in different films.

OH MY BABY KAIII poor kai, cobalt and kai both need a breath from trauma. Idk how you write so fast!

Fuck draxum I'm gonna kick his ass for hurting kai!

[blackchantilly]

Was tagged by @rivetgoth to list my nine favorite albums right now. This is going to be some amalgamation of all-time favorites and stuff I've revisited lately with newer (i.e. within the last couple of years) fixations -- neither an exhaustive list nor a snapshot of the specific moment. Here are just some albums I like and have been thinking about!

Public Memory - Elegiac Beat: I know I've been annoying about them lately. I've been a fan since their first album, but when I listened to this album for the first time last fall it was one of those love-at-first-listen moments. Like literally the first few notes gave me intense goosebumps and I knew I was in for a major treat. I adore the ultra-spooky downtempo sound and the dub influences, and I love how so many of the songs flow into each other. The result is extremely cohesive and artfully executed. Favorite song: "Tall in My Room"

1000 Eyes - Duality: This is the newest one I've listened to multiple times. More spooky downtempo stuff, which you will learn is a common theme in my favorites. This one leans more ambient and is mostly instrumental. It exists in the same space as Silent Hill music essentially, which makes sense because 1000 Eyes worked on the soundtrack to the game Signalis -- one of my two favorite survival horror games of the last few years. The only problem is that if I'm not careful I will fall asleep listening to this, haha. Favorite song: "Affirmation of Null"

My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult - Confessions of a Knife: I saw them live a couple of weeks ago and so I've dusted this one off a couple of times recently. I think most industrial fans would say this is TKK's most popular album. It's nearly perfect; there are only a couple of songs on it that I don't love. Favorite songs: "The Days of Swine and Roses," "Waiting for Mommie"

George Clanton - 100% Electronica: I WILL BE seeing him again this weekend, so we're about to listen to a bunch of George Clanton again! If I had to choose a favorite album of his then I guess this would be it, but Slide is a really really close second. Actually it's almost too close to call. Most would classify him as vaporwave, but I think people who aren't fans of the genre would like him because he mostly just makes pop music that sounds like it's from the '80s and '90s. I wore this album out in 2019 after I had worn out Slide and needed to move on to more of the same. Last time I saw him live I got to meet him, and he was wonderfully charming and funny. Favorite songs: "Bleed," "Warmspot," "Never Late Again"

Sacred Skin - The Decline of Pleasure: Sacred Skin is my new Drab Majesty -- I basically proselytize about them to anyone who will listen, lol. Like I imagine how I feel about certain pop-driven darkwave bands is how Christians feel about Jesus. This album has been out for a couple of years, but I still listen to it maybe once a month or so because it's pretty much flawless. I especially recommend them to fans of Tears for Fears and Duran Duran. Favorite songs: "Far Away," "Alive in the Night"

Drab Majesty - The Demonstration: Ah hell, might as well list them too. Here's another flawless album that I still listen to semi-regularly even though it's seven years old now. When I first listened to them (it was actually the song "The Foyer" that hooked me) I couldn't believe how they sounded so much like an amalgamation of my favorite classic gothy bands -- like if the Cure, Depeche Mode, and Cocteau Twins all collaborated. This is a concept album about the Heaven's Gate cult, for added fun! Favorite song: "Dot in the Sky"

Night Sins - Violet Age: I was listening to this obsessively at the same time I was listening to Sacred Skin obsessively. At the time the closest goth event to me was in Tulsa, which is a fucking nightmare of a 2+ hour drive from where I live, so my favorite thing to do on my way home was queue up this album right after the Sacred Skin album. The association lingers. I've waxed poetic about Night Sins recently so there's no need to restate all of that. I just really love their hooks and how unusually swingy a lot of their songs are. Favorite song: "Corium"

Body of Light - Bitter Reflection: I like a lot of songs from their earlier albums, but their newest release is so good and so consistent. It has a beautiful melancholic and atmospheric vibe that sets it apart. I actually preordered this on vinyl on a whim and was so glad that I did when it finally came out. Favorite song: "Never Ever"

Underworld - dubnobasswithmyheadman: I'd feel stupid if I didn't include it. This album is 30 years old and is generally lauded by gen X former ravers everywhere. I am a millennial and have never technically been to a rave (unless Happyland Music Fest counts), but I also love it very much. I've been listening to this since 2017 and it's still what I put on when I need to do some mindlessly repetitive work or just need to kill an hour and 12 minutes -- both somewhat common occurrences. A few of their albums are notably excellent, but this will probably always be my favorite. Favorite songs: "Dark & Long," "M.E."

As usual, I will not tag anyone specifically, but do it if you want!

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

How Mose stopped worrying and learned to love Leo

“Listen, I need to go do something.” She says.

Mose nods. He knows that means Zev'sonya is off some place where Hutts aren't welcome. While neither of them like it, there are some situations that are just made easier by him staying behind. She will be back. Or he'll come get her. “Understood, Lorda.”

Zev'sonya adjusts her cloak and seems ready to leave right away. He's not surprised. She never did like to waste time. “I'll be back in about five hours, if things go without a hitch.”

“Understood.”

“Have fun watching the kids while I'm gone.”

Now those words do puzzle Mose. Junior has been asleep for over a week now. Without the little green one to keep her company, she tends to sleep a lot more. Mose is aware of how it is far more normal for a Huttlet to sleep for months, even years, rather than be awake and active like Junior has been, mostly due to the strain of their growing bodies and their fragile minds, but he finds himself missing her. The feeling of her breathing and occasionally twitching is reassuring, but he still misses her exploring new places with her innocence and enthusiasm. Why would... Wait, Zev said kids. KidS. Plural. Which means... she does not intend to bring her human.

Mose draws a sharp breath, meaning to object rather harshly, when Zev'sonya has the audacity to wink at him, actually wink at him, and he stares with a slack jaw as she trots off with a far too smug cackle. She has definitely been spending far too much time around humans!

And speaking of which... Mose slowly turns his head and, as dreaded, finds himself looking down at Leo, who is grinning up at him like an excited child about to go out on the most wonderful adventure. While there is no denying that the eternally cheerful blond has had a very positive effect on Zev, easing a lot of the burning anger she had at life, he is also the most talkative and energetic soul Mose has ever met. He sighs. This is going to be a very long day.

Ignoring Leo is what Mose usually does and it works for the first couple of hours: Leo talks while Mose pretends he can't hear him. Others would take the hint, but the blond merely keeps chattering away and tries to get Mose to engage with a wide variety of topics. Humans, such troublesome creatures. How many times in history have they set the Galaxy on fire by now?

“Let's go into town!” Leo declares, very loud and with that eternal grin on his face. Hours of basically talking to himself must finally be getting boring even to him.

Mose scowls. “No.” The ship is parked a safe distance from the small town that seems to be beckoning the blond and Mose is perfectly happy to stay right there and laze about until Zev returns. There is no reason for them to head into town.

“Come onnnnnn, Mose. Pretty please?”

Mose doesn't hesitate. “No.”

Leo's eyes narrow a tiny fraction for the briefest of moments, then he shrugs and smiles. “Well, you can stay here, but I'm going. And going alone, you know I might get into trouble, stuff like that happens, and Zev is not going to be happy that you let me wander into danger by myself, you know. What if I get hurt? Oh, she won't like that at all. She will be quite disappointed in you.”

Once again the audacity of a biped has Mose slack-jawed and staring, then he sighs and has little choice but to trail after Leo marching towards the town with a jaunty whistle. Zev would indeed be very upset if something bad was to happen to her idiot, and Leo is bound to get into some kind of trouble if he is allowed to spend time in town without supervision. Mose toys briefly with the idea of merely grabbing him and holding him down with his tail until she returns, but something tells him that Leo would be whining so loudly his ears would bleed, and punching him unconscious is too risky with that frail human skull of his.

Turns out that heading into town achieves the impossible; Leo turns even more talkative. And determined to use every credit he has in his pockets once he finds the marked place.

“What do you think about this?” “Do you think she'd like these double-bladed ones?” “Hey, this would look cool on you.” “Wow, can you believe the price of these?” “Check this out, I would look awesome in this!” “Maybe we should get some of these for Junior?” “I'm telling you; the ship could use a little colour inside.” “A man, or a Hutt, can never have too many blankets.”

It never ends. Mose is going to get back at Zev for this.

Leo has grabbed a dangerous amount of candy to buy from a horribly decorated cart when he grins up at Mose. “What do you want? My treat.”

Mose glares. “Ylesian white worms.” He deserves tasty snacks for putting up with this.

Minutes later, Mose is rummaging his left hand around in the big glass container he's carrying under his right arm until he has a big haul of worms in his grip. He shoves them into his mouth as he shuffles along after the still talking Leo and wonders how Zev is doing. He knows she can look after herself, but he still worries. She's so awfully impulsive...

Lost in thought, he doesn't notice how Leo turns a corner, freezes and stops talking mid-sentence.

Mose nearly smacks into the man's back due to the sudden and unexpected stop and he's about to ask what the hell is wrong with him when he sees what Leo sees: five stormtrooper helmets on top of wooden sticks stuck in the ground. There are pools of dark, coagulated blood on the ground under the helmets.

Oh.

For a long time they just stand there, staring, until Mose can't handle the tension. Or the complete absence of a smile on Leo's face. “Did you know them...?”

Leo keeps his gaze on the helmets and answers in a too quiet voice. “I don't know. I can't see their operating numbers.” The green eyes that are usually bright with mischief are dark and solemn.

Silence follows his words and Mose awkwardly remembers a time when he'd asked Zev if there wasn't a way to shut Leo up and she had replied that the only thing worse than a talking Leo is a silent one, and he's now inclined to agree. This is making Mose's hide crawl with unease.

“Maybe they deserved this.” Leo suddenly says in that too quiet manner. “Maybe. A lot of them were not good people and they did a lot of bad things.” A hard swallow. “But... not all of them. Mikey only joined because his family told him to. Kiergan joined so he wouldn't end up in jail with his brothers. Hauroko, it was the only way she could go after her dream. Corin, he didn't have a choice at all. Kinnon, Jana, Heiden, Mokae, Cordè, none of them would have deserved this, but the ones hunting down Troopers these days wouldn't have cared and put their heads on spikes anyway.”

Mose had entered a mercenary's hut with Zev once, years ago, and found himself surrounded by eight Hutt skulls mounted on the man's walls. Knowing that the Hutts were probably cruel cretins who deserved it had not made the sight any less unsettling. But this situation does give Mose the opportunity to ask something he's been wondering about for a very long time. “Why did 'you' join?”

Leo, Leave-it, whatever you want to call him, has never struck Mose as an imperial fanatic or a war monger. Why would someone like Leo join the stormtroopers?

“Back home where I grew up, they were portrayed as the heroes.” Leo says, still staring at the helmets. “In the news, everything we saw and read, they were the good guys. They were the ones who saved others from mercs and pirates and all kinds of scum. My dad was in complete awe of them. If it hadn't been for him not wanting to leave my mom and me, he would have joined in a heartbeat. We were mere miners, nobodies, while the guys in white kept everyone in the Galaxy safe.” Leo finally closes his eyes. “After my father died, I decided I wanted to do some good before I followed him into the afterlife. I was already sick by then, my mom too, so I knew I had limited time. Becoming a stormtrooper meant I could afford medicine for my mom, travel the Galaxy and see other planets while helping other people as well. I thought it was the best idea ever. By the time I realized the truth, it was too late. I needed the credits for mom's medicine, I didn't want to leave Kiergan and Hauroko to face danger alone, and after my mom died, they were all the family I had left so I had to keep them safe at least. I couldn't leave.”

Mose doesn't know what to say. He feels bad for asking, but he can definitely relate to wanting to protect your friend even if it means risking your own life.

Leo turns away from the helmets. “I've changed my mind. Let's just go back to the ship.”

Just as Leo walks by him, Mose looks over at the blond. “Are you okay?” It's a stupid question, of course he's not, but he still asks as an awkward gesture to show concern.

Pausing next to him but keeping his gaze on the horizon, Leo sighs. “Yeah. I just forgot.” And before Mose can ask him what he'd forgotten, the human continues. “I forgot for a moment that every single soul on this planet hates me.”

Again, Mose can relate only too well and he knows how bad of a feeling that is. It's the worst kind. It makes you feel endlessly lonely. And worthless. But it's not true. “I don't hate you.” He offers.

That causes Leo to glance up at him with a ghost of a sad smile. “Really?” There is fragile hope in that simple word.

“Yeah.” Mose confirms, shifting the glass container to his other arm to reach out with his right hand and he gives him a couple of worm-free pats on the blond head. “Really.”

Leo's smile turns into something so warm and grateful that it makes Mose's heart clench in a way that usually only happens around Junior and the little green man. Fine, he can be a little nicer to him. After all, Leo's basically a kid too by Hutt standards.

-

“Higher!” Leo's voice demands.

“Then stop squirming!” Mose snaps back.

“I'm not squirming.”

“Yes, you are.”

Zev'sonya frowns as she approaches the ship and hears her two companions arguing from somewhere on the other side of the craft. What is going on? Rounding the front of the ship, what she sees makes even less sense than anything she could have conjured up as possible scenarios.

Leo and Mose are both frozen, staring at her, but what makes it odd is the fact that Mose has pulled himself as high up as he can, has his hands under Leo's arms and is holding him up to face the panel just under the transparisteel of the cockpit.

Blinking, Zev'sonya only absently registers that the grey panel in front of Leo has the outline of what looks to be a drawing of a yellow twi'lek and that his hands are clutching a can of spray paint each, because she's too startled by the sight of him hastily slurping the tail of what looks to be a white worm into his mouth.

“Lorda, you're back...” Mose says awkwardly, slowly lowering Leo to the ground.

“What is going on here?” Zev'sonya demands to know.

“We're decorating the ship!” Leo declares through some hasty chewing.

“Decorating the...” Zev'sonya echoes, struggling to believe what she's hearing in addition to what she's seeing. At least Mose has the decency to look embarrassed. Leo just looks delighted at the sight of her. “I leave for half a day and you both lose your minds?!”

“Aw, come on!” Leo whines. “All the cool ships have decorations.”

“We got bored.” Mose mumbles.

She stares at them for several long seconds, trying to digest the weirdness of it all until she decides she can't. This is just too weird. Zev'sonya turns on her heel and stalks inside the ship. Starting up the engines, she gives them just enough time to scramble on board before Zev'sonya shuts the doors and takes off towards space.

It is hours later when she allows Leo into the cockpit and only after he has brushed his teeth twice. “I can't believe you ate worms.”

“You know,” her idiot says with a big grin, slouching in the co-pilot seat with one leg over the arm-rest, “if you really want to pull off the act as a culinary expert, you're going to have to be more open to new foods. I'm telling you; Mose is right. They're really good. Spicy with a hint of liquorice.”

Zev'sonya glances over at him without turning her head. “And if you want to pull off the act as a stupid blond, you need to stop using big words like 'culinary'.” Leo laughs, not bothered at all, as usual. He then sits up properly and leans a little forward towards her with a grin. “So, are you going to tell me what you were up to today? It wasn't a job, right? Was it an evil scheme for me and Mose to spend time together so that he'd grow dangerously fond of me and we'd become best buddies? Because if it was, I can tell you it really worked!”

Fighting back a smile, Zev'sonya turns her gaze to the stars ahead. There would be no need to make Mose like Leo because she knows he already likes him just fine. She never would have brought Leo on board the ship if that wasn't the case, her selfish heart be damned. As much as the idiot annoys him at times, Mose has shown Leo far more patience and leniency than most souls they have encountered in their years together. He even gave his approval of their relationship before Zev'sonya could handle mere the thought of it. “It was a private errand.”

“Roger that.” Leo says, instantly backing off by slouching back in his seat and flinging his leg over the arm rest again. “Oh, for your information; once we park some place, me and my buddy are finishing the art work on the ship. Just so you know. We cannot be stopped!”

“I had my chip turned off.” Zev'sonya says, gaze firmly locked straight ahead. Yet, even without looking at him, she senses Leo freezing up before deflating from having inhaled a lot of air to cover a grand speech about his and Mose's plans. “Wh...” He sits up straight again and his reflection in the transparisteel shows his confusion and concern. “What?”

“You heard me.” Zev'sonya feels a clench of unease in her gut. Had it been a mistake? She glares over at him. “Didn't you say last week that you'd always dreamed about having kids?”

“Yeah.” Leo blurts out. “But, like, I wasn't... It's not... Didn't you then tell me it would be crime for me to breed and pass on my stupidity?”

Zev'sonya nods. “It would. Which is why I'm going to make sure our kid inherits my intelligence.”

Eerily enough, Leo goes quiet for a moment. He looks down at where his hands are nervously fidgeting and clears his throat. “Zev. Are you sure? It would change everything. And... I might not be around to-”

“Shut up.” Zev'sonya snaps. She knows he is thinking about the death sentence hanging over his head, is worrying about the thought of her having to raise a child alone, but Leo seriously needs to get through his thick skull that she is not going to let him die.

“No.” Leo counters, his voice firm with unbreakable stubbornness. “Dammit, if you want me to even consider this, I need to know that you have really thought this through. I love how impulsive you are, Zev, but this is the one thing I can't have you decide on a whim. I can't. Okay?”

Zev'sonya takes a calming breath before facing her idiot once more. “Fine. Listen up; I want this too. I know what I'm getting myself into. And even without you, I wouldn't be alone. I've got Mose. I've got Din and Corin. I know Kiergan and the others will love any child that is part you. Happy? I even had the doctor do research on Miner's Lung to make sure it was safe for a kid.” She scowls at him. “But that is just stupid talk because we'll both be there all the way. End of discussion.”

Leo stares at her with disbelief and growing giddiness before he breaks into a wide grin and nods.

“Good.” Zev'sonya leans back in her seat. “Now the only problem is that we have to wait two days before we can get to work on this.” She makes a face. “I can't believe you ate those worms.” “What?” Leo suddenly looks devastated. “But-”

“Your mouth is not getting anywhere near me with worm-breath.”

“I brushed my teeth! Twice!”

“I don't care! Worm-breath!”

“Zev!” “WORM-BREATH!”

[stormxpadme]

Whumptober 2023 No. 16 - Gurney/Flatline/"Don't go where I can't follow"

Scogan Bingo challenge Our Song

As tempted as Logan was, cutting off Tony's damn ugly head right this instant: He was honest enough to admit, this latest fuckup was mostly his own fault. Just three months after that period had ended when he'd not known if he'd ever share a damn battlefield with his partner again at all … Shouldn’t he seriously know better than leave said careless idiot out of his sight in any fight?

Maybe it was true what they said, that for ferals, learning by pain took particularly many lessons. "Stark!" Logan had to hold back from yelling into the damn radio integrated into his mask even more unrestrained, mostly because he'd need Tony's hearing on certain radio lines sharp and intact in a second, not bleeding all into the guy's helmet. "Get your metal butt down here."

"Still wrapping things in the sky, Logan." Visibly reluctant, Tony touched down on the still sickeningly largely red-stained concrete next to him. Guy was apparently unfazed that the actually well-protected spot between a couple of car wrecks where they'd left their injured team leader earlier, was suddenly deserted. "You don't want any of these escaping towards downtown unless you're keen on even more bad press." Tony gestured toward the dozens of pitch-black unmanned drones in the air, each of them armed to the teeth. Far too many of them indeed still operable, while Logan had at least been able to take care of almost all the enemy's tanks on the ground out before they could have reached the first inner city ring.

It was yet another despicable, senseless attack by their current arch-enemies that the Orchis public relations department would no doubt be quick to blame on what was left of mutantkind either way. No helping that. Neither artillery on wheels or wings nor the news were Logan's biggest worry for the moment. His claws extending as his agitation and anger grew, he took a warning step towards Tony's bulky shape, leaving no doubt about how quickly all those shiny, brand-new red and gold layers of metal would rip open after one well-aimed slash if the guy didn’t pull his head out of his own ass immediately. "I don't give a fuck about the sky. Missing something down here by any chance?"

Tony opened the visor of his helmet to reveal an honestly confused-seeming frown, his lips under his sweat-dripping goatee tight with sudden realization. "Uh. S.H.I.E.L.D. medics got Cyclops out of here 10 minutes ago while you were two blocks from here. He was stable so I wanted him out of the line of fire. I told them to get him straight to the Tower. I thought you called them …"

"I don't call government authorities. Ended up in one of their holding cells too often for that. You better tell me you got a signal on those medics. From S.H.I.E.L.D. Who just fucked off with one of the world's most wanted." Logan focused stubbornly on the required gravity in his growl to get it through to Tony how much the guy had just fucked up, clenching his fists only harder to keep himself under control.

"Look, they had the right badges and uniforms and all. I had JARVIS check their IDs. They belong to that small still functional part of S.H.I.E.L.D. that's on our side. I'm not an idiot, Howlett. They probably saw the news and were just nearby. No need to get your panties in a knot." While Tony started to sound seriously irritated, at least he was typing away on one of his arm displays at lightning speed now, no doubt exchanging a series of orders with his in-house AI. Hopefully, he wasn’t too late about second-guessing his trust in any kind of uniform actually seeing through the lies regarding Scott's – thanks to Orchis' so very damaged – reputation and legal record.

It had been a fight against windmills from the start, trying to get such truths through to the world, with the help of just as quick as public missions like this, putting their faces all over the news in the right context, before they fucked out of there again to go back under. The catastrophe that was the aftermath of the latest Hellfire Gala wouldn’t be reversed so easily, not this time. Logan hadn’t cared a lot for this farce from the start and was only playing along for now out of an annoying obligation to Tony and Emma, as without those two, he would have lost the man he loved once more half a year ago, and without any way currently available to get him back no less. Logan was not about to go through that all over again because of someone else's stupidity. Maybe Tony should be screwing Frost more often to get a couple of distracting excess hormones from his system. "I suppose you didn’t wonder why they came and left without sirens when they're supposed to transport someone with a sliced open femoral artery through New York rush hour."

"Look, I don't think …" But that only sounded like a very weak protest at this point, those hectic attempts of establishing said contact with that supposed E.R. car on Tony's communication system looking even more agitated. The guy's tanned skin had turned significantly whiter.

"No, you don’t. Or you might have remembered we didn't exactly have good experiences with ambulances lately." Logan tapped one of his claws against Tony's chest plate to make him work faster, a cynical grin curling on his lips when the guy winced, both from the unambiguous threat and the memory of all those months of housing not only Logan but a very special kind of patient in the laboratories of his Tower. "Unless you want to start putting Scott back together again all over – after you're done renumbering your own bones, that is – you better not have lost that car, Stark, I swear to god."

"We got them," Tony assured him to visibly his own relief, letting out the breath he'd been holding. "They're halfway on their way to the Tower. Looks good to me. JARVIS, hack the security camera of that E.R. car for me. Give me a visual." Tony let out a silent curse at the feedback he was receiving from his AI via the button in his ear. "Too far for a video feed from here. I got audio though."

"They say anything?" Logan started pacing the wrecks around them with his hands firmly folded behind his back and gritted teeth, still holding back by a thread from strangling Tony. But now he was at least willing to give this albeit unlikely development of one of their former partners actually being useful again to their kind for once a shot. Thing was, they indeed weren’t done yet, keeping their enemies from raining even more destruction down on the city and thousands of civilians, just to ruin mutantkind's standing on Earth even further. Leaving lightly was out of the question.

And Logan knew very well what Scott would have had to say about him leaving the party early. Much as he hated Stark's dick right now, it had been Scott earlier, sending Logan away after stupidly running into some damn bullet, the second he'd been stable enough to risk leaving him alone for a while.

It obviously wasn’t only Stark's ability of decision-making that had greatly suffered from recent events. Maybe in truth, it wasn’t even him, Logan was being so damn pissed at right now, waves of blood-red wrath gushing over in his mind as the usually well-suppressed images from the last time that Scott had ended up in captivity filled his soul. The distant sharp taste of bile in Logan's mouth as he'd entered this one damn room in that Orchis base and at first, had seen nothing but stitches, blood, infection, and explosives in cavities where they had no place being. Flashes of months filled with doubt and fear in his head, scraps of regular screaming matches in his ears, the fragrance of more alcohol than should have been inside a recovering patient at any point in his nose … Holding his partner's hand through one goddamn procedure after another, until miraculously, somehow, Scott had not only been back to his feet but in actual fighting shape … All of that, once more, possibly for nothing if Logan didn’t pull himself together right now, to function for the man he'd long stopped shying away from admitting how much he really loved him. He'd already lost the woman who had been part of that steadily growing and intensifying relationship of theirs, and there still was no telling if and when they'd get her back. He wouldn’t fucking lose Scott all over again as well. "Stark?"

Tony held up his hand impatiently to shut him up, with narrow eyes as he kept on trying to make out any suspicious conversations, any noise that had no business being in an emergency car, over that noisy line. "They're not talking. I don't hear them working either, though." He threw another restless glance at the smoke-filled sky and the surrounding streets, grunting every now and then at a new explosion far too close to not yet evacuated buildings nearby, as the scattered shapes of his automated suits were still busy, trying to take out all of the enemy's vehicles. Logan and he would both have been needed in that stand-down, still, there was no question about that. But not while they couldn’t be sure they weren’t needed somewhere else far more urgently right now. "He's awake though, I think. Sounds like he's okay." A hint of a grin twitched on Tony's lips, his posture relaxing the slightest bit when Logan, too, closed his eyes for a treacherous moment of premature relief. "Looks like they gave him some of the good stuff. Your guy's humming."

Immediately, the hope shyly flickering in the ice-cold worry filling Logan's soul froze all over. "Humming what?"

Tony tilted his head at him in confusion over Logan's lack of enthusiasm. "Well, he's not exactly Brian Johnson but sure sounds a lot like Highway to hell to me."

"Get me the fuck in the air. And better pray we catch up with them in time."

Tony didn’t get it, still, obviously, judging by that bewildered look on his face before his visor closed again but by now the two of them had been working together long enough at least for the guy to recognize that tone of absolute, unquestionable authority in Logan's voice that always said, playtime was over. That, no matter who was actually in command at any given time, better obeyed right now if they didn’t care to catch a claw. The hated uncomfortable pressure of a sturdy metal frame pressed against Logan's back as Tony wrapped his arms around his chest from behind, not giving him a second to prepare before yanking him off the ground. Logan's stomach dropped dangerously when the guy's current favorite suit sped up to its fastest capacity within split seconds, following the direction of the coordinates that JARVIS had long fed into Tony's helmet. "Wanna tell me at least why we're gonna make headlines for abandoning the battle before it's over this time?" Slightly breathless from the rapid takeoff and the atmospheric pressure on his body, Tony's annoyed voice in the radio link was slightly subdued but still loud enough for Logan's enhanced senses to pick up on.

"That's our song," he growled out between his own labored breathing and swallowing back the remains of a too-big breakfast in his throat. God fucking damnit, how much he hated flying. "He needs me. How far?"

"Another minute. We're close enough for a visual now." The hold of Tony's sturdy metal gloves on Logan's sides tightened for a moment as a dismayed noise escaped his lips. "Goddamnit, Logan, they opened the tourniquet. He's bleeding out. And they got blades in their hands. If they see us coming …"

"Hijack the car electronics, stop the damn thing. Distract them. Then drop me right above." Logan's voice was missing the suddenly hoarse quality of Tony's shocked words, even the threatening hiss of their argument a minute ago. The sober levity that he'd not least learned from the man he loved in the course of the decades had crept back into it, that was such a stark contrast to his instincts cut loose whenever a battle demanded a white run. Whenever he had to let the animal off its chain to cut his way through a whole army of hostiles, consequences and damage be damned. When that was needed, when he was forced to leave a fight covered in guts, he had no problem giving in to those basic desires for death and revenge; it was what he was good at. It was why Scott kept on hiring him for his teams whenever Logan was available for such conflicts. Because he was the fucking best at what he did. There were these kinds of situations though when the muzzled berserker threw himself against the bars of its cage in vain, drooling venom from split, raw lips in greed. When all that energy in his cells and his soul had to be fueled instead into the cold calculation of a single, perfectly orchestrated move, of one precise shot, just like he'd been taught to aim for it by a certain team leader a long time ago. Because the collateral damage of leashing out would include something Logan was not willing to sacrifice. Never again.

He could tell by the way Stark suddenly went very silent behind him, not even one of his stupid quips on his lips, that this rare, targeted side of Logan impressed – maybe scared – the guy a lot more than the usual blood dripping from his claws, and maybe that was enough in terms of retaliation for the man's stupid error earlier for Logan's taste already. Fuck-ups happened, and if there was one thing to be said about Tony at least, it was that he was usually very thorough about correcting them. When the inconspicuous white car with the blue cross painted on its sides in question finally came into their sight, Tony had indeed managed to stop it already, and in some remote alleyway far off the battle-induced chaos downtown no less where they could approach unseen. With the thrusters of Tony's suit reduced basically to zero, it required the guy to use a lot more physical strength instead. Not exactly a cake run thanks to Logan's adamantium-steeled weight as he very well knew. But that way, they could near the car's roof silently from straight above. Farther too long torturous seconds for Logan's taste passed while his partner just a few feet away was once more in mortal danger … But it was worth it, reluctantly giving in when Tony hissed at him to wait while he inched into the position that his visual was giving him, right above one of the enemies who were none the wiser, the driver trying under filthy curses to get the car going again while those other two goons screamed at him to hurry from behind.

Those shouts quickly stopped when Logan crashed through the car's roof with all of said heavy weight, instantly killing one of the enemies with the bone-shattering impact alone. The other died from some claws in his heart and in his lungs before he could even raise the hand with that damn blade either in Logan's direction or the one of the lifeless, blood-covered figure on the gurney in front of him.

Perceiving with only half an ear focused on his surroundings that Tony had taken out the driver with a well-aimed shot from his palm cannons as well, Logan already bent over his lover with his mouth bone-dry and his heart racing, cutting the next best sheet in reach into stripes with his claws to wrap it around Scott's injured thigh again … But one single look at his partner's ashen skin color, and the deafening silence in the back of that damn car, already let him know those desperate measures might be coming too late. "Stark!"

"On it." Tony flew through that hole Logan had just made and came down next to him with a clank, grabbing a handful of instruments and scanners from his belt Logan had no idea what the fuck they even were. Pushing Logan away from Scott's unmoving body, toward the headend of that gurney, he was discussing, ordering, pleading more nervous and angry by the syllable with his AI via his radio, too low for Logan's too harsh, too irregular breathing to make out every word. "Shit, he's flatlining. My girls are already on their way. We'll have transfusions here in less than two minutes. We just gotta keep him afloat until then." Audibly gritting his teeth, Tony stuck some shiny metal stuff somewhere to Scott's chest after ripping open his uniform top, following the instructions from his electronic helper that Logan knew he could trust at least for such inevitable emergency measures. "Might wanna step away."

"Just do it. Bring him back." Kneeling on the car's ground next to Scott, as his knees had suddenly given in, it was the second time within minutes that Logan hardly recognized the sound of his own voice. His hands were clenching down on his own thighs so harshly they almost broke the brown and black latex of his uniform as that certain terrible, frightening twitch jolted through Scott's body, leaving it rearing up against those straps around his chest and hips that Logan hadn’t even bothered to open yet. In vain, he listened for something, anything, the smallest thud in his ears, a single pained gasp, no matter how weak … His hands were shaking more than he cared to admit when he closed them around Scott's too-pale face, resting his forehead against his lover's, this time trying to no avail to get rid of those horrible memories of the last time he'd cowered over Scott like this, entirely convinced he'd have to carry it out of that damn house to the nearest coffin. "Come on, Slim. Get yourself together. We had that discussion. No going where I can't follow, remember?"

"Nothing. Gonna try again. Get back, Logan … Wait." Stark let out a deep hiss, lowering his hand with the remote for that mini defibrillator again, not a second after Logan had let out a suspicious noise almost close to a sob himself.

Already, Logan's lips were softly pressed to those beautiful full ones so close, over which a faint but definitely perceptible warm breeze had just come. Almost at the same moment, they had a rhythm again, and unbelievably, miraculously, Logan could feel the faintest twitch at where he'd instinctively reached for Scott's hand.

"Ouch."

"Anyone ever tell you, you got a terrible singing voice, Summers?" Tony straightened up from his hunched position with a chuckle and briefly squeezed Logan's shoulder, a gesture of support, friendship, and apology that Logan was only too ready to accept. "I'll get those transfusions and one of the medics."

Logan just barely nodded, with Tony flying off already, not taking his eyes off Scott's blood-smeared VISOR for even a second. Reaching for some cloth nearby, he carefully wiped it clean so he could be sure his lover would be actually looking straight at him when he whispered those certain small words to him that for a moment he'd been convinced he'd never get around to tell that damn idiot ever again. Jesus, this really needed to stop. "You know I love you, bub, but don't think that's gonna save you from me whupping your damn ass for that little stunt as soon as you're patched up."

"I saw her, Logan."

That answer that didn’t want to make the slightest sense at first was so far from the usual teasing back to such a promising threat that Logan raised his head again, pulling off his mask for a moment to be able to show his partner everything he'd gone through in the last few minutes, and his puzzled frown on top. "You saw …?" Her.

Her. Just when Logan had thought he'd managed to sober up, stop that dangerous loss of control of his emotions that someone with his gift could so seldom afford, especially not in public, he felt his eyes fill with tears all over again as it dawned on him what … where Scott could only have seen anything in those last few minutes of being dead more than alive. And what it might possibly mean that even in that short window, apparently his soul had been found by someone they'd both no longer been able to sure was still anywhere around on a half-mortal plane like this to even make contact like that. It still didn’t have to mean anything, of course. In spite of all the resistance they'd been able to rouse in the last few months, they still weren’t anywhere close to turning the current catastrophe around. The loss of the missing person in that relationship of theirs might never be undone … But maybe, just maybe, they could at least allow themselves a small shimmer of hope again. "Jeannie …"

"She says thank you." The weak hold around Logan's hand tightened another little bit as Scott pulled him close for another kiss. The faint scent of salt from those tears that his VISOR was hiding mixed with the few clear drops falling on his skin from Logan's face as they let themselves fall for a brief moment more into that closeness growing every day between them. Just for another sweet second or two before the nearing roar and hum of Tony's suit revealed, proper help was on its way.

'Still up and fighting, Red.' Logan could have sworn he heard the soft, bright chuckle of a beloved voice behind his forehead when he reluctantly let go of Scott to let the professionals – real ones this time – do their job. Still up and fighting.

*******************************************************************************

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