#how many characters of his does this make that are gender bending in some way
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the-boney-rolls ¡ 9 months ago
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how HOW have I never noticed that this is a song about a drag queen??
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musicfeedsmysoul12 ¡ 5 months ago
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Can I ask you why you write gender benders? Isn’t it just the same story? Whenever I read them it just feels like they want to make a gay pairing straight.
I’ve talked about this before but for new people who are curious here we go!
You’re right. A lot of gender bender fics do come across like that and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the only reason they did it. I’ll admit some pairings to me appeal more as f/m then m/m or f/f. Don’t know why, but they do. Yet just as many f/m pairings only appeal to me if I make it gay.
But there is a very large population of people who write gender bends solely to make the pairing straight. And to be frank I see it often with pairings like TodoDeku. A semi popular pairing where they turn one of the characters into a thinly veiled OC but want people to read it.
The characters gender bent are done wildly OOC, without consideration and the story is exactly the same just with this thinly veiled OC. Who is often needing to be saved by their love interest. This new girl is not anything like her male counterpart.
I don’t like these stories. I actually hate them. I feel they’re kind of insults to the stories where gender bends are done right.
Genderbending a character changes the story. For an example (one I’ve been playing with for a while) female Bakugou would be smacked down for her attitude. It’s not feminine. It’s not right. Her mother might have the same attitude but she isn’t as violent- that sort of thing. This has a hugely adverse effect on Fem!Bakugou who gets meaner. People react badly.
But the one person who doesn’t do that and thinks she can be a hero is Izuku.
So, Bakugou latches right the fuck on, being stupidly possessive and protective. Full on yandere.
But it’s still the very angry and violent Bakugou.
For Todoroki as a girl I would never make her feminine. Ever. She would be a tomboy- because her father never let her be anything else. She would be the same emotionless person she was in canon as a boy. Ten to one she’d have the same hairstyle.
The change here would come after the sports festival where she slowly begins exploring herself. Even then I’d never make her feminine. I just can’t see Todoroki being like that. I think I did once but now? Yeah no. Not my jam for her.
But she would be treated differently. A boy being emotionless is hot. A girl being like that is weird. She’d be mocked and taunted. People would call her ice queen and gossip behind her back. I 100% all the girls in class wouldn’t like her because of this. I see her more isolated then canon.
Being a girl is not like being a boy. It’s a vastly different experience because of societal expectations. People treat girls and boys different.
A fem Izuku I see would be more downtrodden by society because her desire to be a hero would be pushed at more. She is a woman and Quirkless- double the ‘delicate’. While I would waffle about if the same sort of bullying would occur given ‘boys don’t hit girls’ I do think it’s possible.
Yet it’s still Izuku who stands up tall and won’t give up. Who in his/her heart of hearts is still the heroic spirit that inspired All Might. So things don’t fully change.
Genderbending gets a really bad rap due to homophobia and sexism. But really it’s a way to explore how things change based on society. How would a woman being X instead of a man goes about?
It’s not the same as making them trans. I do view making a character trans its own form of gender bending but the thing is that this is VASTLY different from going between cis male and cis woman. While I haven’t fully explored the transphobia side yet (due to my own dysphoria regarding my gender being a bitch) POP does explore how being a trans woman would affect Izuku.
Plus magic.
But yeah- the story is never the same when you switch genders. Anyone saying otherwise is naive or lying to themselves. I’d love to live in a world where gender doesn’t impact us but it does. Patriarchy is the dominate way the world works. In Western culture and Eastern. Pretending otherwise is again just you trying to lie.
So: I love genderbends for exploring the concepts. It’s fun!
I do hate it when it’s done to make things straight. I have… issues with certain ways they do some of it. But it’s fun!
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musicalmoritz ¡ 9 months ago
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Though on genderswap Mitsukou? What would their characters belike both appearance and personality wise?
Yuri Mitsukou!! I love this question
So awhile back I posted smth like “no fem4masc Yuri Mitsukou it has to be masc4masc” which like. I don’t really agree with anymore. I like that in canon one of them is feminine while the other is masculine and it’s not really done in a stereotypical way. Fandoms make a really big deal about people feminizing male characters- and for good reason, it does happen a lot. But that gets taken to the point that they end up unintentionally reinforcing traditional gender roles. “How dare you draw that man in a skirt” or “that male character would never cry.�� It’s also weird to me that I never see the same defense given to female characters being masculinized, so it ends up feeling like a lot of fans just hate femininity. So when a male character is feminine and seemingly likes masc dudes but has one of the loudest personalities in the manga, I think it’s pretty neat. Ofc there are fans that are weirdly against calling Mitsuba feminine but I already blocked most of them so idk what they have to say
(I could talk more in-depth about how fans are so worried about feminizing Mitsuba that they erase all the soft parts of his personality and make him one-dimensional but I’ll hold my tongue)
However, with fem!Mitsuba things are usually portrayed differently. Since dude Mitsuba’s initial conflict was being bullied for looking like a girl, most people say that the reverse would be girl Mitsuba being bullied for looking like a dude. This is fine but we also have to keep in mind that the entire gag of Mitsuba’s character is that he looks feminine but has an unfiltered personality, based on his looks you would never expect him to act that way. So if girl Mitsuba looks boyish, does that mean her personality would be super soft and delicate?? Because, yeah Mitsuba does have a soft side but not in that way, and it’s not at the forefront of his personality. Plus girl Mitsuba could still get bullied for looking too feminine, internalized misogyny is very much a thing
However, at the end of the day it really depends on personal preference so I’m not at all bashing either depiction of fem!Mitsuba. I go back and forth over which one I like more. Gender themes are a pretty big part of how I write Mitsukou so it’s hard for me to imagine that switched up, but it’s also incredibly interesting to think abt. All in all I like to keep fem!Mitsuba looking androgynous, maybe she has a boyish face but still dresses very feminine. Or maybe she has a girly face but dresses very masc. It’s one of those things I like a variety of interpretation on. For this I say she keeps the same hair length and pink cardigan but wears the girls uniform. So like yeah she basically just looks the same
As for Kou, those of you that read my wlw Kou//Nene fic should know that masc girl Kou is actually everything to me. A lot of fans sort of flip their gender presentations when gender bending them- Mitsuba becomes masc and Kou becomes fem. That’s totally great if that’s what you like but for me personally Kou is gonna be wearing Old Spice. I like to imagine her hair a tad longer in the back, like a choppy version of the Bisexual Bob. She wears some type of hoodie over her uniform the same way canon Kou wears a t-shirt under his uniform. The hoodie is blue btw (gotta incorporate the lore from my mtsk fics)
I feel like their personalities and dynamic would stay mostly the same! Maybe make them a bit clingier the way female friendships are but they’re already pretty clingy in canon lol. I do wonder if Kou’s flaw of not being able to open up about his feelings properly would change due to gender socialization. But many women (including myself) have that problem too so I think it would stay the same. She might be able to open up to Teru or Yokoo and Satou better but she’d still struggle to admit when she’s feeling overwhelmed. I could see her not being the type to tell someone how she’s feeling until all those emotions have built up for months. That’s how I’ve seen the whole “can’t talk abt your emotions” problem present itself in women. And men tend to only feel comfortable opening up to their romantic partners, which is something we very much see with Mitsukou in canon. But with fem!Kou, if Yokoo and Satou were girls two they would probably encourage her to talk abt her feelings rather than just being like “let’s give him a task to distract him” (which is fine too, men have different ways of comforting their friends)
Thank you for this ask!!
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shall-we-die ¡ 2 years ago
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╔‌‌‌‌•°🍸༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚
{Lovely Boyfriend}
General Boyfriend Headcanons.
#NSFW (Tetchou) || #NSFW (Jouno)
╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻💚༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•��
↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo Stray Dogs}࿐
↬[Characters]•⊰↴
{Tetchou Suehiro || Jouno Saigiku}࿐
↬[Warnings]•⊰ {None}࿐
☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0026}┈─╮
╭──────┈┈┈┈┈───────╯
╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐
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• Tetchou as a boyfriend is very caring and thoughtful. He is always thinking of new ways to make his s/o feel loved, and makes sure to show his gratitude for them. He is a great listener, and spends time and effort to really understand his lover's thoughts and feelings.
• He goes out of his way to do little things that make them smile, and tries to surprise them by doing things they enjoy. He is always there to provide support and comfort when it is needed, and never fails to show his appreciation towards them.
• Tetchou is very patient, understanding, and forgiving. He does his best to understand the feelings and thoughts of his s/o, and never judges them or holds anything against them. He puts in the effort to make them happy, and is always there to listen and provide support when they need it. He also puts a lot of thought into how to show his feelings, and never takes his significant other for granted. He is also very reliable, and they can always rely on him to be there for them no matter what.
• Tetchou, as a boyfriend, can be quite insecure and possessive. He is very protective of his loved ones, and if they seem to show interest in other people, he can become jealous and untrusting. He also expects his significant other to behave in a certain way, and can be quite critical if they don't meet his expectations. He can be quite stubborn as well, and won't easily bend to the wants or needs of his significant other if they clash with his own ideals.
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•He's dedicated, passionate, and shows love in every possible way. He'll surprise with thoughtful gestures like flowers and gifts on special occasions, or just because. He'll go out of his way to make them happy, whether it's cooking their favorite meal or spending an entire day devoted just to them. When they're having a bad day, he'll be there to comfort and reassure them, always lifting their spirits. No matter what difficulties or problems come his way, he'll never fail to make his lover smile.
• Saigiku Jouno's good attitudes as a boyfriend includes his loyalty, dedication, and overall, his desire to please his lover. He always wants to make them happy and show that he loves them, whatever the cost, and he'll go to great lengths to do so. His passion for his lover is unmatched, and he is willing to give them his undivided attention and affection at any time. His efforts and dedication to being a great boyfriend is why many people swoon for him.
• But, he also can be overly possessive. If his lover even looks at another guy, or mentions something positive about a friend of the opposite gender, he can possibly feel jealous and overprotective towards them. While this can be seen as a good thing to some, it can prove to be quite an annoyance, especially if his lover wants to maintain their social life and friendships without him constantly hovering over them. Jouno should trust that his s/o loves him and would never cheat on him.
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therealslimshakespeare ¡ 5 months ago
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saw the kinky Julie Jean and Bucky post….so now I have to ask about Maureen and Gale haha 🤣
Oooh yes ok…
This one’s not quite as fluffy but, something that’s important to me is the way that the harrowing things you’ve been through, the struggles with self loathing, etc usually still remain in some way with most folks but in a healthy, trusting, totally transparent relationship, those tendencies -we will loosely call them kinks from here on out- can be explored, soothed and sometimes ameliorated or reinvented into something far kinder but just as hot for the person in question.
Yada yada yada…
Ok, the sexy stuff. Maureen’s kink is Gale Cleven, we know this, from the minute she met him she was entranced with both his beauty but also his strength of character which was entirely foreign to her in regards to men. The fact he disapproved of her and displayed it in almost parental fashion was exotic to her, and very appealing and that got their wires crossed as Gale can understandably not relate to finding that paternal treatment hot. Plainly speaking, Maureen finds Gale’s cool, calm, collected masculinity drool worthy and she enjoys him wrangling her. Sexually that’s everything from gentle domming or spanking or simply making her eat her words while over stimulating her or forcing an apology out of her for her smartassery by edging her. They can be tender but they both like it a bit rough too, she particularly has such an ingrained habit of trying to provoke male attention so when Gale caves and gives it to her, even after years of marriage, it’s maddeningly hot to her, especially if he acts rather impulsively and takes her on the next available surface.
A hard no for her would be sex in the dark or anything that covers her eyes and nose, my girl got assaulted while in prison with a wet sack over her head after repeated drownings, she ain’t into breath play ever.
Gale Cleven’s kinks are also Maureen Kendeigh existing, Lbr, and the fact he’s not felt a boner for a woman besides her since his seventh grade teacher is—- it’s confusing and it’s delightful and it’s something he has to sort well into their marriage but the transparency they share is such that he feels fully known, and that alone -being known and still wanted, or maybe wanted even more- is dizzying for a perfectionist who used to have to earn any approval by immaculate behavior that went against much of his own drive and desires in all of life.
In their early years of marriage he struggles greatly with himself and guilt and internalized homophobia compounded by his own abuse and the abuse he was made to “participate” in at the camp. This added to how he already viewed his homosexuality is killer but it does mean there’s many ways he finds a massive amount of relief and enjoyment with Maureen and her rather unorthodox acceptance of everything. My boy loves playing husband, even if he’s not ready for it full time but he enjoys being a caretaker, he enjoys being a gentle dom and creating moments of gentle domesticity where she makes him feel like a real man. These are sexy times of pure passion and softness. Loves to call her Mrs Cleven during those times and remind her with a smile she’s his wife and so has to do what he wants her to do- which is to let him bend her over the counter top.
On the flip side they also enjoy some gender play, I think, of a variety. Gale is flicking through personalities like they’re clothes during this season and it might not be healthy but it’s hot and Maureen is always game, in a way it makes her feel like she’s in the army again, not just the ladylike Mrs Cleven when she’s taking it up the ass or has her fingers down Gale’s throat- because they do a lot of that, her boy can deepthroat those fingers and the fact they’re Maureen’s mangled ones does something to his brain while scratching his oral fixation.
Does he also often need a finger up the ass to stay hard in the early days? Also yes. He’s so sure he doesn’t, he’s appalled at the suggestion, the fact Maureen has to play wrestle him into letting her only makes his initial reaction all the stronger and…harder. And they let it lie and it becomes a thing. To be honest, these are times he enjoys being “used” in his own words.
After the last Nuremberg trials and his deposition, things get far better for them in many ways and they also decide to have children. At which point Daddy Cleven is so back and he’s gently pinning her wrists to the bed to fuck her again for the fifth time today because they’re trying for a baby, doesn’t she remember? and she’s gotta let her husband do what needs to be done. they’re both filthy and happy about it, it’s great.
Once they have kids I totally think they end up doing more spicy things out in nature just to be away, but it’s a picnic blanket sorta lovemaking.
Also. The face sitting/ pussy eating craze that starts in the stalag never dies. Ever. It is what it is.
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unhappytimeleaper ¡ 2 years ago
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Hii can I request yandere Mika hcs please?
requested by anonymous
Word Count; 4,200
Okay, so requests for just general headcanons are hard for me because usually there is just so much I could go off of. I tried my best to whittle down this to where it wasn’t overwhelming but still enough to capture the main points of what I wanted. I ended up cutting out some ideas because I couldn’t keep writing; I wanted to edit and finish this. I’m sorry. 
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Kagehira Mika; Unedited. Gender Neutral Reader.
CW; this is a clusterfuck. Yandere everything. Stalking, jealousy, unsolicited photography, stealing, manipulation, violence [against Mika, not reader], isolation, potential kidnapping, power imbalances, paranoia, other characters enabling yandere’s actions, and dismissal of feelings. Some moments can be read with lewd intentions, though never explicitly stated. Seriously it just has it all.
This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.
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For a general setup, Mika is. Well, a contradiction in many ways. The best way to put it is just as how others describe him, cat-like. It’s never to say Mika thinks he’s above you, consistently battling himself with the idea of being human over something like a doll, but for someone so ‘below’ you metaphorically, he pulls the strings. In the case of you, his extent of creepy actions, his stalking tendencies, and overall jealousy trap you in the strings of the marionette this time. For someone so below you as he claims, why does he have the power? Why does he not listen to you if he claims you have control over him? Cat-like— pets who rely on humans to bend to their needs and take care of them but still are more of a type to “run a household” rather than wait for the owner to come to them. 
A good example is, say, isolation; you explain to him keeping you alone with little interaction outside of him (and maybe minimal time with Shu or Ritsu) isn’t good; it isn’t healthy. Just a little time together in public, you don’t even need to go alone, just need to stretch and feel the bare sun on your skin even for a few moments; he loves you, right? He cares for you, so this would be better for both of you. He’s so weak-willed and eager to please you for a moment you think he’d easily comply, but it doesn’t work. It sends him more into a panicked frenzy, clinging and cuddling, making all sorts of claims that move too fast to rebuttal. It’s dizzying, and in the end, he remains the one truly in power despite his remarks about being only for your needs. 
Of course, the main this is despite his contradictions in power, overall, he does genuinely often seek to please you. Make no mistake that despite being the one with the upper hand in terms of your future, you still can easily live a life of semi-normalcy if you play your cards right. And even if things get to the extreme, like fully isolated, Mika will bend fate to bring you nearly anything you would ask for. And if he can’t get it, he’ll try anything he can to make it. 
Now to argue, the reasoning behind Mika’s tendencies is pretty apparent. The rooted abandonment issues are a crucial factor, it drives most of his fears and creates logic as to why he feels the need to lock onto people so intensely. He’s a rooted stalker, a mix between being extremely open with it and completely hidden, taking photos constantly without your knowledge, willing to collect all sorts of trash or items he can get his hands on, break-in, and more. There basically isn’t a stone unturned where Mika hasn’t been. Even more part of this comes in despite a fear of talking to strangers; he will threaten them for being ‘too friendly’ and say you two are together even if you aren’t, almost always driving people away from you. This can be found in Mika’s delusional nature of having conversations which he thinks are you giving advice or others telling him, much like how he fantasizes about conversations with Shu when looking for answers to projects. Some of this is attributed to Mika being well aware his emotions are almost always in control. 
Regarding you and others interacting, Mika primarily runs on autopilot. He might not even recall what he says to them; it’s a mix of emotion and adrenaline running the show. The final reason for his tendencies is trying to break out of being a doll. He does have feelings, wants, and desires that he should work to fulfill rather than always being just a doll told everything. It’s a lot of weight and pressure, and one of the things that comes with that is the human desire for love. For attention and validation on a deeper scale, something that the human side eventually craves from you. No longer does he just want to be a doll that falls into the corner waiting to be molded; he knows that as a human, these are things that come with it— even if profoundly misplaced. And as away the human side doesn’t take away from his more meek, submissive attitude that came with a doll mentality, at least not entirely, but it is what makes him realize more the nature of his desires. 
And as mentioned, Mika is… well, gross. Not in a literal sense, okay, maybe slightly literally in the thoughts and extreme hoarding of items he might be willing to take, but it’s more than that. Mika pushes the acceptable bounties; he has little and runs purely on emotions and whims— they control him. His actions are horrendously creepy at times, and his delusions push him to do things that just come off as disturbing. The tragic downside is ES isn’t an ordinary place with ordinary people. The majority of those around him come off more as enablers or too busy to care in the hustle of idol life. Examples being are Shu, Ritsu, and Arashi, all being helpless enablers to Mika and doing little to genuinely help you if it means Mika’s happiness. Cosmic Productions doesn’t care; as long as Valkyrie brings in revenue, then you’re just collateral damage and other companies at ES have little awareness of the reality going in the department. Not to mention I don’t think Crazy:B or Eden has the best members to speak on the subject, with 2wink being the most reasonable you could go to, but often they have enough going on it’s hard to seek solace in them.
And the last main general note is that while things would never be easy and life would always have some level of undertones of there being something wrong seeping from under the surface, Mika is one where you could get away with not being kidnapped and isolated. This doesn’t remove any general problems or underlying creepiness, it might even make it worse, but the idea of available yet moderated freedom might be better than nothing. Nearly all of your attention still needs to go to Mika, and if you would be to play the role of a partner to him, having the chance to still semi-function outside of being locked in some rooms might be a better alternative. This does stems from the fact Mika is willing to bend for you, as long as you comply with parts of his affection even for show. It also doesn’t dilute any aspects like stalking or stealing. But unless there is only full-out rejection of everything, would Mika likely turn to Shu or Ritsu for advice which would supply kidnapping as an alternative route (those little shits). It’s not easy for Mika to transport you to the dorm or Shu’s apartment to keep you locked up, and as mentioned, once isolated, getting Mika to let up and let you leave is nearly nonexistent even if you begin to return his advances (both for show or genuine). Overall, this is to say kidnapping is never a guaranteed ending with Mika, unlike with many others but not ever out of the question either. It can come very suddenly and always a looming presence if you aren’t willing to give into Mika’s fantasies. 
Okay, so that is the central portion. Now some more miscellaneous items. 
For one, Mika genuinely doesn’t mind if you use violence against him. Not saying he wants it necessarily; it’s not some masochistic desire to be hit, kicked, and generally beaten by you. But it doesn’t serve as a functional way to get him to stop or go away. He is essentially any attention is still attention. You’re mistaken if you think that while he is crying, clawing at your legs and hips for attention, a quick slap or kick to get him to let go will work. It might somehow many him latch on harder, claiming that it’s okay, you can do it again, it helps you calm down, just let him stay. Keep giving him the attention, the validation. And even worse this behavior is something Mika is willing to do in public if pushed or called out enough. Any terms of thinking you’re abandoning or leaving him creates an overdrive in him, quickly transforming into someone willing to beg to keep you around. In public, it’s made worse because not only does he look like the one being hurt by you— he’s an idol. Well-known one too, and if something terrible happens to him, it will only come back and hurt you. Either through die-hard fans or the company scolding you. Violence not only spurs Mika more but damages your livelihood in the bigger picture, making it null any tactic to help with the burden of Mika’s tendencies. 
However, this extends to one important thing. Your actions don’t really hurt Mika? Even on a physical level. It’s well noted Mika has an extremely high pain tolerance and that it would take a lot for him to acknowledge something hurting him in a way that would temporarily take him out. He doesn’t mind being physically hurt not only because it has some power dynamics and he’s doing anything to please you, but even in the case there is that contraction of him still having the upper hand. He gives you the permission to hit or kick him, likely because he has an awareness of being able to take it without it limiting his hold on you and still giving that outlet to you. Even if these are subconscious choices, it’s unsettling how much control he still has between his physicality benefits, idol career, and connections. Mika truly is a powerhouse in this way, and violence to him practically cannot solve anything as a means of escape, even if he offers it as stress relief or punishment to himself. 
Another big thing for Mika is forgetting the past and focusing on the future. There was before you, and then there is now. Anything before does not matter, and in a sense, he sort of expects this from you as well. Ex-partners, ex-crushes, ex-situation-ships; none of those matter now that he is here, and you better feel the same of these things being ‘dead.’ Photos or any other sentimental item need to be wiped away, and your mind shouldn’t need to wander back to them because you have something more now and forever. This idea of focusing on the future/now also relates to how many delusions and ideas for how things will work out between you in the long term. Marriage, starting a family, domestic life as a whole— Mika spends much of his time picturing and creating pieces that inspire him of this future as well as daydreaming of what life could become no longer attached to his past. 
Some more quick round-head canons; Mika will fill up notebooks and writing your name and his name. Pretty much any cross-over you can think of. Just your name with hearts, your name and his name with hearts, your first name and his last name, his first name and your last name, a teased ship name given from Arashi— the list can go on. It’s scribbled messily, and other times written with such extreme care. It’s only loose papers and trash, on his sketch designs and doodled with his finger on tables. Not only does he do it as a practice of his handwriting and the love of seeing your name written with that, but the combinations he can make feel like a validation of the closeness he has. Much like any early crush, it’s some comfort level of daydreaming— regardless of the actual proximity you have with one another. Also yes, he will lose loose pages and if you don’t know what he’s doing it’s very creepy the first few times. Or hundred. The amount of times he writes your names together is beyond comfort; very heavily boarding on obsessive. 
Mika is also not great at conversations, with mostly everyone but the awkwardness is pushed even more with you. There is too much pressure, and his feelings run in such high control that it often comes out as a mix of self-deprecating, worshipping you, and trying to act like a normal mess. It’s almost always awkward even if you try to ease him and are kind, and it does kinda become worse the longer it goes on because this is when his stalking, photography, and niche personal things become apparent in conversations. If you didn’t think he was stalking you beforehand or at least didn’t catch him, you’d be given many hints the more he talks to you. This extends from the fact he does everything possible to get materials and content he knows interests you. Even if you think it’s something knows one would know you like, Mika does somehow and will in passing bring it up in the weirdest form of trying to have a casual conversation. Books, CDs, and TV shows and stuff are all a part of his hoarding connection about you simply because you like it.  Even if it never would be something he’d look up on his own, he’d do anything to connect and relate even more to you. There never is any proof you can’t call him out other than having suspicions which, once again, little to anyone would take seriously, but you can’t help but feel Mika knows more than he is truly letting on. 
Will do any and everything for you if he can; carrying items, buying you things, cleaning stuff— of course, be careful asking him for this because he might take advantage of you letting him get this close to such personal tasks— but there never is anything he doesn’t offer to do. Idol work might get in the way, though, he can’t neglect his job, but any other time he is on your heels, waiting to do anything he can for you. And sure, at first, it’s nice. It lifts some burdens or comes off as Mika being Mika offering to give more than needed to anyone. But buying you things often comes off with a strange energy radiating off of them, even if there is seemingly nothing wrong. Him cleaning or doing simple domestic tasks, such as laundry, ends up with some things being missing or damaged. You notice so many other weird things in your apartment if he offers to clean. And carrying items,  while seemly harmless, still just makes your stomach churn. He fully just shows up out of nowhere on the most random shopping tasks offering his help and pushing closer and closer to you. What once was Mika feeling like his strange but overall kind, sweet nature stepping up to help an overworked staff member turns exhausting, skin-crawling offer. Even if he usually looks all sweet and innocent offering. Damn, the fact he does have some cuteness charm regardless of his actions. 
Arashi coming in clutch again being an enabler to Mika!! Upon teaching Mika about selfies and the momentum of photos… Mika gets a little too on board with this. He takes photos whenever he can, both blurry and crisp, highly focused or landscape of you, anywhere and everywhere. There are so many pictures he has and collects, often finding it hard to delete any one of them because there is something special attached to each one. Selfies and other photos he can get with you, either to your knowledge or without it are probably the most important to his collections. The second ones are those that either are from dates or situations that Mika dates. He is willing to print them off and keep them all over, even having dedicated spaces and boxes of printed photos or simply made posters. There would probably be some specific photo he becomes horrendously attached to as well, much like having one of Shu he constantly uses to talk to or seek advice from. 
The reason to account for the photos is because, as I’ve touched on, Mika is a filthy hoarder. He will legitimately take whatever he can get his hands on if he thinks it has some value to you. While I think depending on the item, particular trash isn’t seen as valuable or limited value others have much more. For example, plastic utensils aren’t valued at much; you used it once and then got rid of them, which has very little value to you. But say a silverware from your kitchen, chopsticks/spoon/whatever you use daily, has that value level and is worth wanting to keep for his own use. If you wear makeup, an empty lipstick/chapstick tube will be more sentimental or valued than a used tissue. This can also be found in the fact he’s mainly sharing spaces. While he still is a hoarder and does his best to keep his collection out of the main sight or in a place that isn’t easily accessed, there is always a chance someone could come to clean out those spaces. Something like a tissue is more likely to get loaded and thrown away, while Mika could better justify a chapstick holder as being able to be kept. This doesn’t change the fact that he is able and willing to collect a lot of gross things, such as well willing to have a container of bath water of yours if he could easily get it or an old notebook you might forget about. Even if it’s just work notes, he’d take it. And Mika might sometimes try to get rid of parts of his collection until he can secure a long-term and connected relationship with you, such as living together; it’s hard for him to part with anything of yours. These items are fucking everywhere too. His dorm, Shu’s apartment, the sewing station, and his area at CosPro. You might even see things you thought you lost just lying around and be able to “steal” them back with how prolific his hoarding is scattered. 
Clothing is the one thing; sadly, you will probably never get back, or at least if you could not in its original form. Mika loves, even obsessively, uses scraps and parts of your clothing in his. Even in the costumes for Valkyrie if he can, so there is a piece of you on stage with him. His use for upcycling extends back to his past, needing to take clothes and items from the trash to even have things of his own to wear, but now it feels much more special. This is rewriting all of the stigma and pain he carried of having nothing more than trash clothes— discarded by people just as he was. Sure, this clothes was stolen and didn’t have your permission to use, but it has the comfort woven into its threads. It smells like you and has the texture from how you cared for it when you washed it. It has the stains and memories of you, the feeling of someone being so loved by you it’s clearly ready to be thrown out finally, so it’s perfect if he repurposes it. He never takes too much, and if you have a clear favorite item Mika knows not to take it; maybe steal it from the wash pile and use it as a pillow cover for a bit, but always have it returned as well. At that time he’d fantasy the domestic life of being together, where he could openly wear his upcycled material of your clothes patched together [and you can wear them too!]. Or where he can take your clothes and wear them without shame or worry of getting them back on time, and the comments you’d make seeing him in your stuff. All of the fantasies turn him bright red, and even the next day, when you greet him, he looks a little more flushed than usual around you.
However yes, many things go missing, but they are often just as much replaced. Simple things are replaced with Mika spending his own money and then finding ways to either customize or make it so the item is uniquely tied to the two of you. Certain things also have trackers in them, but most are just decorative in some way. You remember how you lost your favorite pair of chopsticks when you brought your own lunch that one day. Weirdly enough the next day a new pair ended up in your bag but one bejeweled on the handle to match a particular sewer’s aesthetic while the other matched yours. Or hair clips that you once got as decorative jokes for a photo you and your friends had been planning; you figured you just misplaced them but these new ones you found are nothing like the previous ones aesthetic… If you look too long in a shop at clothing or accessories Mika might not always be able to buy them due to expenses buts he’s well quick to make them, even with the added benefit of it being tailored now specifically to how you prefer. They always end up at your desk so neatly packaged, many coworkers assume it’s perhaps brands trying to get cozy with you for future deals with idol groups but these aren’t the same as what you saw in the window. No, these are too perfect for you to be just any run-of-the-mill store item. The even more unsettling part is how this person managed to get your measurements so spot on if not for measuring you in your sleep. 
There is also one specific way Mika would get caught for the more,, creepy actions. You’d know he could be a bit of a stalker. He has his moments where it’s oblivious he’s following you or others but those always come off more like a kicked puppy trying to follow someone home rather than malicious. Like he wants to interact, but internal conflict holds him back so much he forgets where he is until he is slightly too far behind and stumbles to keep up. If he really wants to stalk, Mika can keep himself hidden. There are other times all his other more ‘bizarre’ actions are qualified as Mika being Mika, like being fatigued after bouts of practice and finding his way to your desk out of habit in hopes to see you rather than going and getting medical attention/rest, or coming to hover around your desk for inspiration like a cat. If you aren’t there, usually you see cheap candies on your desk as a reminder he was there and is probably off looking for you or went back to the workstation much more disappointed than before. For the most part conversation with Mika, you might not lead to believe anything is deeply wrong with his infatuation levels. He’s always spoken weirdly with his doll-like commentary and the idea of letting others “control” him such as Shu and you. Or that his comments tend to come from a lack of understanding rather than outright trying to harm, so you do your best to guide him in topics. You’ve always known his emotional state can be complex, and his childhood likely made it hard to process feelings, resulting him them dominating his sense of self and backfiring into making them more unsettling than maybe he intended [of course while Mika’s perception of the events being vastly different]. All of these would change when you awake in the middle of the night hearing stumbling in your apartment. The first few times you hear a thump or grunt, you believe it’s just your sleepy brain making up stuff. It’s unsettling, and you always can feel your heart rate spike, but you don’t have anything to assume there is something wrong. But it often continues and you’re getting worried. Everything comes rushing into a close of an era when you manage to shake yourself awake one night, hearing a whine from the floor by your bed only to see a mass of dark hair and clothes. None other than Mika, watching you in your sleep— or well trying. 
See while Mika would love to use the nighttime to stalk around your apartment and get things done… his case of night blindness makes it much harder. Walking into walls or furniture, tripping over a bag that wasn’t always there, or simply leaning in too close that he bonked his head into your trying to look at your face before diving under your bed as to tousle around. It never really hurts, but he does let out a startled noise, or the falling is enough to cause a loud sound. But now, you’ve caught him in the act. And many questions are bound to follow in the morning, ones neither of you can escape from. Finding out Mika’s habits won’t change the outcome for him too much; what will is how you choose to follow but it doesn’t matter. He’ll find a way to be around in your life more no matter how you respond. 
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fangirl-1st-class ¡ 3 months ago
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Blast from the past v2
Some more Raven yapping! Hurray! I kinda want to talk about how I resurrected her after...well years. When I made the attempt to save Raven from the brink of being completely forgotten (the most recent drawings involving her came from - 2017) I couldn't recall much outside the general story beats I came up with for her (being SOLDIER, tied to Zack one way or another, the sword and the ribbon's existence). So, as one does, I've turned to the Drawing Box that accumulated dozens if not more A4 printer paper sheets with many iterations of my beloved self-insert-but-not-really. Besides just the drawings, there were also notebooks with snippets of lore written, which I've been treating like the Bible ever since unearthing them.
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This was supposed to be Raven's diary, of sorts? Again, I could barely string a sentence together in a foreign language, let alone write down some actual prose but there was a will. I don't know what was up with the...nonchalant tone? Hah. But my god did I overanalyze every word written in this shabby introduction, trying to translate it to Raven's character.
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Funnily enough, her first outfit was much more Sephiroth-y, seeing how AC had been my introduction to the series. The oldest art (that I dont have a pic of) is basically her wearing a weird in-between of Cloud's and Seph's fits. Guy!Raven came into existence shortly after, coexisting with his female counterpart, but going with the name 'Raen'. Which makes them infinitely easier to differentiate than GenderIndicatorOfAnySort!Raven.
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Now I rolled both of them into one, making Raven genderfluid and going by the same name no matter the gender (which has its ups and downs) As I was playing FF7 and then Crisis Core, Raven's look became more refined, and her backstory got much stronger ties to Zack's character.
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In one of the original stories I wrote starring Raven, it was said she could only sleep if she had Zack's photo under her pillow HJSASJA IT KILLED ME WHEN I READ THAT RECENTLY. Though I was bending over backwards to say (in the same breath) that although she loved Zack deeply, that love was unrequited. Because I was a die-hard Zerith shipper and my own firstborn was not worthy of interfering with that even hypothetically (I can still hear a faint voice at the back of my head lambasting me for entertaining the possibility)
I had her carefully inlaid into every CC cutscene that should've involved her, but sadly I forgot the extent of them, outside of the how she met Zack (secretly in Banora and officially during the 1st Shinra Building assault) Thanks to CC ending scene, her red ribbon received its raison d'ĂŞtre, rather than being just an aesthetic choice. I had her involvement in the cutscene carefully storyboarded (and it survived, sadly I just wrote it down instead of taking a picture)
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Also this archive bears so much proof I used to be such a die-hard Zerith fan hah
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I like how this one is explicitly saying 'Zack dating Raven? Yeah, in your dreams maybe.' BAHAHAH I WAS SO CRUEL TO MYSELF
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princesssarisa ¡ 1 year ago
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For the Shipping & Fandom Ask:
7. What are your top five ships of all time?
16. What gif or screenshot most sums up your ship?
29. What’s your favorite fanfic AU scenario or setting?
7. I couldn't choose out of all media, so I'll pick a specific media. My top five ships of all time in the standard opera repertoire.
Figaro and Susanna (The Marriage of Figaro): Everyone's favorite comic opera couple. Two smart, witty, lively, funny people with different, complimentary forms of cleverness, Figaro's scheming and Susanna's presence of mind. They're utterly devoted to each other, and they work together to outwit the lustful Count and secure their wedding. They have their issues with jealousy and misunderstandings – and by modern standards, Figaro's Act IV misogyny aria and Susanna's violent streak aren't so funny – but they resolve them in the end with an ease that shows the strong foundation of their love.
Rodolfo and MimĂ­ (La BohĂŠme): *sigh* It's very flawed. I've wanted to punch Rodolfo many times for the way he emotionally hurts MimĂ­ in the months leading to their breakup, and their meeting scene in Act I has some consent issues. But something about them keeps drawing me back to them. It's clear that their love is true and mutual, and they share so much tenderness, warmth, poetry, and beautiful music, capped off with an achingly beautiful tragic ending. And they're both so easy to identify with; sometimes too much.
Tosca and Cavaradossi (Tosca): Another relationship that has its flaws, conflicts, and jealousy issues, but this one has a sense of dedication and stability through it all that others often lack. This is probably helped by the fact that they seem slightly older than other operatic lovers. (Realistically, I suppose they're probably in their 20s, but they always come across as more in their 30s to me.) Yet regardless of age, they still have plenty of passion, sensuality, tenderness, and romantic Puccini music to sing.
Norina and Ernesto (Don Pasquale): A sweet young pair of comic opera innamorati. Romantic Ernesto has more heart than brains, but cunning, playful Norina has enough brains for both of them, and despite their different personalities they mesh well together. I especially like the way they each emphasize how much they want the other to be happy. And when he sees her apparently about to marry his uncle, he doesn't act like a typical tenor and fly into a jealous rage, but just has a moment of shock and disbelief, but then is quickly made to see that it's a trick. For that alone he wins points!
Tamino and Pamina (The Magic Flute): A classic fairy tale pairing: two innocents who fall in Love at First Sight and prove willing to brave fire, floods, darkness, and death to be together. Their interactions are few, but Mozart's music makes their love truly felt. It's unfortunate that in Act II, Tamino figuratively pushes Pamina aside for the sake of Sarastro's trials, but at least on some level he does it for Pamina, to prove he's worthy of her hand. And in the climactic scene, not only do they finally unite as they should, but Pamina is the one who guides Tamino through the deadliest trials.
It wasn't easy to decide on these five ships. They all have their problematic aspects, but most of the other operatic couples I could think of are either much worse or much more boring! It's amazing how dysfunctional most of the romances in the standard opera repertoire really are!
16. I'll share a photo for each of the ships listed above, in order.
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29. Call it problematic, but I like gender-bending. I like examining how the characters' social roles would be different in their specific time periods and places if they were gender-bent, and how this might alter the story. (Social roles, not personalities – I don't assume their personalities would be very different because I don't do gender essentialism.) And I like breaking gender stereotypes, which is typically the result.
My unpublished novel An Eternal Crown is a gender-bent retelling of The Magic Flute. I've loved reimagining Tamino and Pamina as Sarisa and Zeran, respectively, and fleshing out their love story from this new starting point.
@leporellian, @tuttocenere
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derekscorner ¡ 1 year ago
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Fated Rantings: Seiba Part 2
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Zero Seiba, all Tragedy
For my second part of my Fate Zero rambling I decided to dedicate it too Saber herself because my first Seiba post was after the 2006 Fate Stay Night and mostly about her.
Am I obsessed? Yes, all jokes aside, I am to a degree because I grew up liking those king arthur legends. I knew very little as a child but I always loved a King Arthur or Robin Hood story.
And for reasons I won't fully reiterate I do find fascination (and humor) in how accurate Fate is to Arthurian legends despite gender bending the central figure himself.
Saber is very tragic due to these things. Lived as a man in an age that won't let women rule, chosen by a sword to be king, wielding another sword (alongside a holy spear and scabbard) that rendered her ageless, and raised on the idealism of the perfect king.
Her life was full of sacrifice and convoluted magic. When someone like Iskander says she was a "little girl who couldn't chase butterflies or fall in love" or when someone says she was a king who could not understand the hearts of men there is some truth to it.
In a lot of ways she was set up for failure from the start albeit not by intent.
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Stark Differences
If you've read the first post then you're likely wondering what else I could say. If you haven't, here: Seiba Part One
I do not think you'll need it but if you're the type to see this and immediately try and draw me into "they treat that way cause WOMEN" then read it. It may not be to your standards but I explain my draw to this character well and my respect for her depiction. I also freely admit that I believe people project quickly at the cost of critical thought but that's a separate rant.
What is relevant here is how does Zero hurt or help how Saber is portrayed in Fate Stay Night... which is hard to answer because every fate work is it's own timeline. (including Fate/Zero)
When you watch Fate Zero you're seeing a slightly (or perhaps greatly) alternative take on the 4th Grail War that Saber mentions in Fate Stay Night.
Her own memories of the 4th Grail war aren't complete. Servants aren't supposed to remember things from one summoning to another either.
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Even so I think Zero adds to her. It may be differing timelines but the character is the same at their core....I wonder how many I just pissed off by saying that.
While Fate Zero is praised it also has people who dislike her depiction within it. The Saber we see is very staunch about chivalry and honor and so on. To some this makes her seem overly idealistic compared to her other depictions.
It can even seem overly childish compared to her own past and how she used soldiers in warfare. I won't even disagree on that front, this Saber is idealistic.
But I think that is with intent. She was raised by and fell to the flawed idealism of mankind. Plus, I think that was to parallel her master Kiritsugu and his wife Irisviel.
They too were idealistic on what the grail could actually do and servants always have some form of parallel to their summoner. In FSN she parallels Shirou's heroic complex and sacrificial tendencies.
In Fate Zero she parallels Kiritsugu's flawed idealism.
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Point A to B
If we're running on the assumption that FSN and Fate Zero had near identical events then I'd also argue that this depiction of her is meant to show how she got to her depiction in FSN.
Zero shows us how others such as Kirei, Gilgamesh, or Kiritsugu got to where they are. It only makes sense that this had similar effects on Saber who remembers some vague aspects of the 4th War.
In Fate Zero she tells her fellow kings that she wishes to save Britain but in FSN she wishes to undo the sword selection itself. In Fate Zero she a bit more laid back compared to her serious to business take in FSN.
Even if she doesn't fully remember that 4th War it scarred her like the others. The idea that she was a bad king and other negative ideals started to internalize somewhat. Now, we all know there's only some truth in those statements but what we know vs what she believes is different.
I am not saying Fate Zero did it well but I am arguing that this may have been the intention. Her acceptance and growth in FSN's Fate Route benefits from it I'd argue.
It's not necessary since FSN can be read/watched as is but I do appreciate the attempt. I do not consider Saber naive but I do think she was made into a king based on naive ideals.
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A King that doesn't know mens Hearts
Another line that I've seen some disdain for. I do not fully agree with it either but there is something to be said for the few times there's some truth in the statement.
The show makes Lancelot the pinpoint of that negative thought process but I feel that's where the other fans get offended. Yes, she didn't fully understand her knights or people but that's more to do with her denying herself her own humanity throughout life.
When I see that fight I saw no confusion on Lancelot's part. He fully understood Arthur, his issue was that he couldn't handle that truth. He deserved the punishment that Guinevere was given in his mind.
Arthur was a perfect king for a horribly imperfect people.
No, the moment the show highlights truth in that line is with Kiritsugu. They never got along and after episode 16 I did not think that highly of him either. He did things so dirty in that episode that I had a visibly disgusted reaction, I can only imagine what she felt as he ruined a fight between two true knights.
She could never understand her master and that was the recipe for ruin from the start. She said it herself in the finale how could "she ever understand a man through three command spells"
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The Banquet of Kings
I can't end this without mentioning the infamous Banquet of Kings. The start of Saber's spiral into self doubt.
There's a lot of talk about this scene, the good and ills of it, I wrote a lot about it when talking about Iskander in the previous post. That's not a plug like the first link, it's just a scene with that much to discuss.
For Saber specifically, this was a banquet with demeaning outcomes. Her role as a king was discarded quiet harshly albeit for two differing reasons.
For Gilgamesh she is just a fool. To him she becomes an interesting toy to objectify and own, all the negatives that people get from that talk come from him. That is within his character though, I do not say that as an excuse but because there's no other outcome.
For Gilgamesh to even respect Iskandar as a king/conqueror by the end of Zero is more than I actually expected of him. In his mind he IS the king and anyone else is a joke.
Iskandar was a bit more nuanced. He never disrespected Saber for being female nor as a warrior. She does lose his respect as a fellow king but only after he hears her wish. To him, it's an insult to all those that served her to undo their work and sacrifices.
He also, correctly, identifies her as someone raised trapped in ideals that didn't get a chance to be a person. He words it as "a little girl that didn't get to chase butterflies or fall in love" but the thing he finds sad about her is that lack of choice period.
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Ultimately, there is one other key factor that the two actually agree on. Although they differ on why a king stands above other men they do at least agree that they do so.
Saber, in contrast, has a less archaic view that kings serve the people. Now is this wrong? That's hard to say since I'm from an age where monarchy is largely dead.
However, I do think Iskandar is right to the extent that kings inspire. They don't always lead or inspire for good reasons but there is a core logic of a leader present.
I also agree that the lack of childhood or basic human wants hurt her reign. You can make all the jokes you want about a 35yr old woman acting childish in FSN or Ataraxia, that makes sense to me and, it's something she needed more of.
If she had more of that core human experience earlier she may have been able to lead Camelot to a less tragic end. If nothing else, perhaps more of the ones that should've understood her would've.
One of the better retroactive connections here is her accepting things in FSN's Fate Route. She no longer desires to undo it all finding value in her and her comrades efforts. Something that only comes from the normalcy she gains from living with Shirou.
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Conclusions?
All in all what I mean to say is that I appreciated her depiction in Zero. It's not flawless but I do see some of the things reflected in her original depiction. I see the attempt to explain some of it.
More than anything else, it helps me appreciate more her growth in FSN's story. All she really needed was someone to let her be a person rather than an ideal king or weapon. (like kiritsugu)
I have no deeper meaning, I just wanted to ramble and discuss the banquet scene. Also, no, I did not forget the amazing Iri & Saber dynamic. I just do not know what to say.
It was wholesome, Saber rocks a suit, and never let Iri drive. Goodnight everybody!
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For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings
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literatureloverx ¡ 6 months ago
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Hello,
I have an interest in Greek mythology as well, so I don’t mind the discussion in the slightest. It is cool that she is both an agricultural deity and a chthonic one: life and death. Seeing how her absence from Earth is associated with winter, I find it somewhat distantly related to your name “Snow White” as well.
You are not bothering people just by discussing your problems with them. If they are unable to support you or don’t care, it is on them to communicate that. Also, even though you believe your struggles are comparatively “not that bad,” that does not make them any less worthy of addressing if it bothers you. However, I am glad you seek support from your family and friends. Do you feel that being independent and primarily trying to solve issues on your own has been effective thus far? As someone who also does not typically seek others for help, oftentimes it can be lonely or inefficient.
I would say I don’t have nearly as much pride or impulsiveness as Anakin, but I find his intense fear of loss and subsequent obsession in regard to Padmé relatable. He is a fascinating character and somehow both extremely smart and childishly naïve in some aspects. In all honesty, I think I share more traits with Obi-Wan, only less morally upright and more inclined to bend or break rules.
I hear you are learning Russian (for the accent)? Knowing so many as many languages as you do is impressive. How do you typically approach learning new languages?
My (joking) guide to a Slavic accent:
1. Watch Victor Arcane clips.
2. Repeat "Glorious Evolution", "viral bronchitus", and "Victor Nation: how we feeling?" in his voice until you get it right.
I hope you feel better soon,
— 🫀 Cœur anon
(Also, I don’t find it creepy, it is clear that I look at your blog as well, after all. I am not a medical student - although I could have been/kind of wanted to be - but I do like organs. I am curious about what academic or professional fields you are in, if you are comfortable sharing.)
You have such a unique mind; I hope you’re aware of it. I was initially fixated on the pomegranate and apple symbolism, but you’ve drawn a much more thoughtful and logical connection with the winter parallel. Do you always think this way? Very impressive.
Thank you so much for caring—it truly means a lot to me.♥️ Most of the time, I’m able to work through things on my own if I can approach them logically and with a calm perspective. But when it comes to emotional struggles, it’s a different story. I often get stuck in analysis paralysis or feel completely overwhelmed, and I can’t always pull myself out of that on my own.
I also hesitate when it comes to trusting others’ advice because I’m not always convinced they fully understand the heart of the issue. So… it can feel a bit isolating at times. How is it for you, though?
I hope also that you have people in your life who can truly understand and support you during tough times. I can imagine you’d rather share those thoughts with someone closer to you than with a random stranger on the internet. But if you ever do feel like talking, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be honoured to listen to anything you want to share. (And no, this isn’t me mirroring your words, I promise—though I do hope it doesn’t come across that way, haha.) So yes, overall, I agree that it can feel lonely or inefficient.
I can see why you might find Obi-Wan relatable (does the humour factor in as well, by the way?). Personally, I feel I relate more to Qui-Gon Jinn. I’ll keep it gender-neutral here, as there aren’t many female characters in the prequels. Besides, the women in Star Wars often seem so self-assured and authoritative, which doesn’t feel particularly representative of me. That said, you’re always welcome to suggest another character if you think someone else might suit me better.
I actually started learning Russian because I wanted to read Russian works in their original language someday, but… it doesn’t seem like a realistic dream so far, unfortunately. I’ve been really inconsistent lately. At this rate, it might take me a couple of years, haha. Thank you very much for the compliment, but I don’t think I’m particularly gifted at learning new languages. I’ve just been watching a lot of movies in the language I’m trying to learn, which worked for me with French (though it didn’t help with my inconsistency… but anyway, I can at least understand conversations, right?). The same isn’t really possible with Russian, though, because there’s censorship and, generally, a lack of Russian media here in Germany due to the current situation. I hope that’s at least a little helpful.
The reason I’m trying to fake a Russian accent is simply because I find it attractive. I actually tried following your guide to a Slavic accent. Believe it or not, it works. Hahaha.
Regarding my academic field—yes, I’m comfortable sharing, and thank you again for being so sensible. I originally wanted to study psychology because I’ve always been passionate about it, and I hope to eventually become a psychologist. However, due to some issues with matriculation, I would have had to wait about four semesters to enroll. I could have attended another university, but that would have required moving, which wasn’t really an option for me. So, rather than doing nothing while waiting, I decided to matriculate in art history, as it made the most sense under the circumstances.
I’ve always had a strong interest in philosophy and art history as well, but psychology remains my primary focus. I’ll likely pursue it after completing my current studies. I’ll probably finish everything by the time I’m 30… so maybe finding a rich husband wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. No responsibilities—it does sound rather appealing, doesn’t it? Hahaha.
Edit: I don’t think I’ve said this before—in fact, I checked and I really haven’t—but I genuinely like this letter format. It feels like receiving real letters, haha. Not many people do that here. Also, I’m actually curious about things regarding you too, but I’m not sure if I should ask since you’re quite discreet about yourself (and I can totally understand why), which is why I’m holding back a bit.
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dragonseeds ¡ 2 years ago
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ok would love to hear more of your daemyra emma thoughts because i do see the vision and i'm kinda obsessed
yesss i’m glad you see it too because the parallels are driving me insane currently.
emma to me is pseudo incest already—they hated jesus because he told the truth, etc—which is referenced most obviously in clueless when they made josh cher’s step-brother instead of her almost brother-in-law and basically halved the age difference to make it more palatable. i’m pretty sure emma and knightley have the same age difference as daemon and rhaenyra in both books. it’s like sixteen years? so rhaenyra grows up with daemon but not really, and he’s absolutely her gothic uncle but he’s also an older brother figure to her. i think it’s more apparent with daemyra because they’re initially positioned as rivals who are both desperate for viserys’ approval—they’ll never be his son, but they have both been his heir—and they recognize that in each other and help each other make peace with that and occasionally hurt each other with it. when viserys chooses rhaenyra it takes daemon a minute, like he has some Behaviors and crushing realizations, but ultimately he loves her, loves his family, bends the knee to HER. it reminds me of mr. knightley’s understanding of emma’s relationship with her father and how he agrees to stay with her, in her home, because he loves and respects them both despite traditional social conventions. it’s like… the ultimate fun sexy messed up power dynamic to me because despite the gender inequality, both rhaenyra and emma have a level of power and privilege that most women wouldn’t. the imbalance is still there, but there are so many extra levels to it and negotiations within the relationship to play with. especially when you factor in both of their gender issues, which are also tied up in viserys.
aside from that, it’s just vibes. rhaenyra and emma are such similar characters to me! spoiled and entitled when young, high-handed, but clever and charming and deeply loving, willing to learn and grow from their mistakes—motherless and tied up in their relationships with their father. whereas daemon like. couldn’t be more different than mr. knightley, outside of them both being jealous pathetic bitches, but still rhaenyra idealizes him the same way emma does. because they just like each other! they’re old friends and family and they push each other and challenge each other; they have their own language and way of speaking, their own world within the world. it’s a crazy level of intimacy and chemistry, like it genuinely makes me insane?? i love that daemyra explores the darker aspects of such a relationship—i mean it would be impossible not to given the succession struggles and war and dynastic incest, but specifically daemon takes advantage of his access to rhaenyra when she’s younger in a way mr. knightley never does with emma and never would do (which always reads as a power fantasy to me, esp when coupled with emma’s wealth and the relative independence it brings her: she is safe, she has always been safe; daemon and rhaenyra are really just a different more dangerous exploration of this, almost at the other end of the spectrum)—but they’re still also very sweet and indulgent and comfortable with each other. fucked up and interesting and i love that they get to have that for while by sort of stepping into another genre for a moment before everything falls apart partially due to their own batshit horrible decision making and they destroy each other.
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fairymint ¡ 24 hours ago
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1, 3, 5 and 7?
Do you use any extensions/other tools when writing that you would recommend to others?
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I'm not sure? besides xkit's trimming, most of my process is pretty basic; lurk itermittently (with breaks!) to draft things and think, and then flip on music when i wanna write! tags and blog search help for backreading, ad blockers help with the music, and yeah!
There were some mobile tricks I've used in the past, like using a browser like firefox (also has xkit support) or opera instead, inserting images by copied urls, or even adjusting my phone keyboards; multiling O is nice for saving preset text into it! though newer phones can copy images now over anyways.
Do you make playlists for certain muses, threads, or ships? How does this help you?
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I do technically have spotify playlists, but I use youtube mixes way more often; many songs remind me of 2 or more muses at a time!
i like my music cause it's a great mood booster and also for emotional memory- getting into the muse's heads!
How has your muse changed over time? How different are they from when you first started writing them?
Volo's verses have become multifaceted! I think this is a great way to analyze the different ways in how his tendencies and toxicities can manifest; I'd almost say even his gender changes depending on how he copes or doesn't. I do so love character study to see where the seed of their being can bloom into, to create a person oh so different but still the same, you know what I mean~
And, Felix has naturally changed some due to me changing. years of writing since X&Y means that I've grown as a person, which is exaggerated in him growing even more. As well, transitioning is changing me to this day.
My comfort in gender used to feel impossible or too long a wait; the muse would act out and be a brat out of pain just as much as playfulness. We're a lot less 'bitter' outwardly, and masculinizing has brought a sense of relative safety, less stress, he's more 'sturdy' of a character both emotionally and physically. More perceived self-value to others. And, 'prettier', in aesthetic or otherwise. Less panicking, more serene or melancholy, or yearning when it comes to negative feelings; romanticization.
and, generally speaking, longer hair. more makeup since Galar. And, if you wanna bring gameplay into it, more exploration! He treks way more off the beaten path! Felix could tell you about any spot, he's going to those dangerous and secluded locales!
I do also think that he's more willing to bend than break, when it comes to shipping. Used to state how incompatible how being a jerk or violent was for him, but is much more tolerant to guys now- I do think this is more fun and better for my writing. Any crackships with villains used to change him drastically, but I do think compromise and melancholy is more fun than theatrical compliance and despair. Letting him be a softboy or sensitive man is nice, doesn't have to completely sharpen or 'feminize' him.
Also, he is less of an immature jerk, when it comes to serious situations; I think that fits more. It had to happen for me to improve, much as it prompted such an inappropriate reaction from a certain writer at the time, so c'est la vie. I think people's ability to give criticism has improved a ton overall.
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forzafe44ari ¡ 2 months ago
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Absolutely obsessed with the latest chapter on EHA!!! The Dutch GP Podium scene was insanely delicious, "i hope they boo louder," ate almost as much as Charles' "then heel," line. I love love love witnessing the changing dynamics between Lewis and Seb over time through the flashbacks, and how it constrasts Lestappen with the character development. I think you stated Max's character perfectly with "a grown man with so much more growing to do." Max still has to grow up a litte more and become aware that "i don't see A/B/O dynamics, i just see people" is not the level of respect that Charles deserves. And the way that contrasts so deeply with Seb's inherent comfort and understanding in his own dynamics, that he can respect/love a rival so deeply to the point he bends his neck in apology becuase thats how much Lewis meant to him. But at the same time Seb was also a grown man with growing to do whilst in Redbull, and he did grow up and was able to acknowledge his role in perpetuating a harmful system. Excited to see how Max breaks down his toxic masculinity and hopefully becomes a man that Charles deserves.
More importantly, i am so unbelievably excited to see the bed chem between Seb & Lewis - hot & steamy but also intensely loving. Seb definitely talks him through it!!!
Also very curious to know whether we get to find out what went down with Mercedes and Toto, how did everything fall apart and how the ferrari deal came into existence. Also would love to see some scenes with Niki Lauda and the dynamics between the two of them, i think IRL there was so much respect and love in that relationship once they had the chance to truly engage with each other and see how they mirrored each other and would love to see how that would play out within the context of EHA. And of course, some more Kimi round circle moments with Lewis allowing himself to acknowledge and accept the omega instincts with the pup that inspired him to go down this journey in the first place.
Every chapter update brightens my day, its such a pleasure to be able to read the work of someone who writes so incredibly well and thinks so deeply about the content of their work.
genuinely please excuse me for taking a thousand years to answer this!!! i’ve been away for the past week, on vacation, and i thought that i might have time to write but i really just laid there on a beach and read all week (i managed to finish three books, but none of them were wolf hall which i’ve been reading for six months unfortunately.)
anyway! let me respond to your comment!
thank you so much for the kind words!
i love the dutch gp podium mostly because that was not the last line originally. i can’t remember what i was going to write instead, but i thought that it should be a lot simpler so i went with that. and then “then heel”. god love it so bad. it’s so good.
the lewis and seb flashbacks are definitely some of my favorites because truly i think it shows both of them in completely different stages of coming to terms with their gender. like for me, i think it’s lewis still deep in denial and furious about how he knows he’s an omega, he feels like one, he doesn’t want to transition, but he’s mad about it all the same. and then seb, like i like to think that’s the beginning start point of him becoming a little more enlightened. and like, to contrast that with lestappen, and specifically max, he hasn’t had the moment yet.
like “i don’t see dynamics, i see people” is so correct. like come on, man. but yeah i’m excited to dive a bit more into max’s journey though i might do a side-quel or whatever about that because this story is firmly in lewis’ POV and as established he does not like that man lol.
and i’m so so glad that you liked the seb& lewis of it all. i’m hard at work at…many sex scenes from them right now and i have to write it in piecemeal to make sure it’s all good.
as for mercedes and toto—we will start getting into that in the next chapter, specifically a scene with niki lauda, because that’s the flashback. but i think we won’t get more deeper into mercedes and the toto of it all until act eight or act nine (yeah i had to add an extra chapter, sigh, i have too much story to tell and also the pacing was weird).
anyway, thank you so much for reading!!! i really appreciate it!
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juniperdugong ¡ 8 months ago
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Couple Costumes 97s ver.
What you guys would wear as a couple on Halloween and how they react!! || 95s || 96s || 97s || Maknae line || A/N: I tried to make these examples as inclusive as possible, if you don't like that THEN GET OUT! Also, the characters or costumes I mention DO NOT correlate to the boys' personalities and this is all just for some silly Halloween fun! I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE ART, all credit goes to their respective artists!
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Mingyu The Frankensteins/The Munsters
Does he want to dress up? No, not necessarily. Will he for you? Oh yeah absolutely! Takes little to no convincing on his end but he might sulk a little because he's slightly embarrassed. But past that initial embarrassment boy howdy does he have suggestions!
No questions asked. He is getting you guys some well-made costumes and sparing no expense and works very hard to impress you tbh. Lowkey I think he's the type to want to do more casual costumes that allude to what the original idea was while still being very stylish and modern. I definitely don't see him pulling out the stops to be especially accurate with the costume choices.
I would die to see you and him in a Frankenstein & Frankenstein's bride costume or Dr. Frankenstein & the Monster. Not only do I think it gives both of you the ability to kind've mix and match what you can be but it is also very recognizable even when done casually because it's so classic. That or go for Lily and Herman from the Munsters, which is essentially the same but y'know slightly different origins.
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DK Alice in Wonderland/Sanrio
He's into it if you're into it. Doesn't mind dressing up, giving out candy, or going trick or treating, none of it fazes him and he's just so happy to be doing seasonal things with you. Even just the planning part of the costumes is done with the biggest smile on both of you're faces and it would 100% veer off into many different side conversations because you two are having way too much fun.
If you decide to go for more traditional Halloween costumes then I think any combo of Alice in Wonderland duos would work soooo well. Whether it's Mad Hatter & Alice, Cheshire Cat & White Rabbit, Queen of Hearts & the White Queen, of course, gender-bending where y'all see fit. Any of it would be so cute. Alternatively, I think he would be so down - maybe even being the one to convince you to do a Sanrio duo costume... Him as My Melody & you as Kuromi... Need tbh.
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The8 Ghibli Films/The little prince & the rose/Jack & Sally
Listen... The8 and costumes. They are made for each other and I honestly don't think anything would look bad on him, he can pull off anything he wants. That being said I HAVE CONCEPTS!! And I need you to ride this one out with me...
Ghibli films. The one everyone goes to is obvi Sophie and Howl and don't get me wrong you and Hao would kill in that but I'm more thinking Ponyo's parents (Fujimoto & Granmamare), Sheeta & Pazu, Haru & The Prince, or maybe even Kiki & Tombo. Overall, I think Hao would kill in any Ghibli duo, romantic or not.
Jack & Sally/Just bring back Skellington Hao. Listen... I don't care if you dress up as the freaking mayor or Oogie goddamn Boogie, I desperately need to see Hao back in his Jack costume. Truly one of the best SVT costumes to have been worn. Period.
And then there's probably the cutest couple costume that I have been able to think of. Hao as the little prince and you as the rose. First off, this can be done no matter the gender and second, it's just so beautiful. If you've read The Little Prince then you'll get it but regardless if anyone knows what you two are dressed up as this would make for the ultimate couple costume IMO. And on top of that, this is the one that I think Hao would be into the most.
Hao would love to dress up if you suggest it. Doesn't mind either way but just likes spending some time with you and doing stuff that you love. It's a unanimous decision; As you speak it, so it shall be. Honestly, he's one of the most romantic and sentimental members IMO and I don't see a world where Hao doesn't make an event out of Halloween if you celebrate it.
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A/N: I hope this delivered ;-; I usually do Minghao in the eighth spot but his was just getting too long to justify putting it first, so I went with the typical birth order.
Please Reblog and Comment if you enjoyed ! (They act as power-ups for me)
Taglist (OPEN): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda @porridgesblog
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legoshi-plz ¡ 4 years ago
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Spanking Headcanons (NSFW 18+)
A/N: Just something that randomly came to mind. Also I’ve seen the many heartwarming messages you all have sent as well as the requests and I can’t promise when I’ll get to the requests but I’ll try to be better about answering messages! 😭 Thank you all for being so patient with me, I hardly really use tumblr anymore so sometimes I forget to check on this blog and asks start to pile up but I still see them and they make me go 🥺🥺😭😭🥰🥰🥰
Pairing: Louis x Reader, Legoshi x Reader, Riz x Reader, Juno x Reader, Oguma x Reader
Reader is Gender Neutral!
Warning: Smut, NSFW 18+. Consensual Spanking, etc.
///////////
Louis:
- So it’s well known that Louis can be a bit sporadic at times, especially when it comes to his mood. Sometimes things do get him irrationally angry and though he’d never hit you, he does use spanking as a form of communication when he’s upset with you.
- Sits in his large armchair, pinching the bridge of his nose as he calls you over. Pats his thighs and you already know where this is heading, assuming the position.
- His spanks start off moderate, even a little stiff. Small sting, while he finds his words, telling you how you’ve upset him, how your disobedience drove him to this. You bite your lip and remain silent except for short responses (can’t see this Louis as the type to be comfortable with you calling him ‘sir’ or ‘daddy’, so just a direct ‘yes’, ‘no’ etc. is fine with him.), trying to hide your anticipation of what’s next to come and the arousal bubbling in the lower pit of your abdomen.
- Once he’s said everything he has to say, then that’s when his hands begin to.... wander.
- His hand dips between your thighs and he feels how aroused you are instantly. His other hand is under your shirt, slowly rolling your sensitive nipple between his fingers, just enough to pebble them but not enough pressure to really get you off.
- He’ll have you trembling in his laps between spanks of increasing ferocity until he feels you’re wound up enough and then he just... stops.
- “That’s enough, you’re dismissed,” his own voice is strained and you can tell from the hard member pressing into your stomach that you aren’t the only one depraved.
- But when he stops, that’s when the real ‘punishment’ begins. Leaves you unbelievably horny and doesn’t fuck you until he feels you truly deserve it (usually the next day, his resolve isn’t that strong.)
Legoshi:
- Only spanks you because you like it. Found out you liked it by surprise. He was coming up behind you in the kitchen of your shared apartment (established couple AU) and landed a quick smack to your ass while he was half asleep. The half-gasp, half-moan you let out right after had him at full attention immediately.
- Will land a random smack on your ass while the two of you are cuddled up watching TV because he likes the way you jump slightly then snuggle into him more.
- Will also take full advantage of the access he has when you ride him and alternates between heavy taps to gripping your cheeks between his huge hands.
- He mostly does it to get your attention or, in the case of sex, for you to keep your eyes on him. Would never slap your ass hard enough to hurt but he is enamored by the response it garners from you and likes to explore that.
Riz:
- Shows your ass zero mercy.
- He’s naturally an ass man so he’s always on yours in some shape or form, whether that’s making you sit in his lap, massaging it while you lounge on top of him, or grinding into it in the early hours of the morning with his sleepy erection.
- Has a thing for the 69 position because he loves being about to finger you with your ass right in his face. Sometimes will even refuse to let you go down on him because he wants your full attention on the pleasure he’s giving you.
- Doesn’t spank for punishment unless you’re being completely unreasonable, and even then he only uses it as an excuse to get you over his lap because a few smacks in, he’s going straight to pleasuring you, seeing how many times he can get you off before you’re apologizing and begging him to stop.
- However, the few slaps he does get in HURT. He’s quite heavy handed and doesn’t know his own strength sometimes. You really have to tell him to slow down sometimes because he’s not always aware of it.
Juno:
- Completely into spanking when it comes to role play.
- Juno is a very thorough actress and she loves applying her skills to the bedroom. Naughty schoolgirl, sexy nurse, horny police officer, naive princess, you name it, you two have tried it in the bedroom.
- Juno is usually the one being spanked because she’s much better at staying in character and carrying the scene than you are however that doesn’t mean she doesn’t make you work for it. She’s pretty strong naturally so her pain tolerance is out of this world and she really likes you to push limits.
- That being said, she’s always up for being versatile and turning you into a blabbering mess over her knee. However, she’s so naturally good at doming that she always usually makes quick work of you. Though you don’t last long, she doesn’t mind. She’s more excited for the aftercare anyway!
Oguma:
- The King of Spanking. Something about this man just exudes power and he carries that same aura into the bedroom (or any place you two do it.)
- Very much the ‘stop and fuck you here right here, right now’ type. The two of you are in the kitchen? He’s pushing you against the counter, kicking your legs apart, and smacking your ass for you to take off your clothes. At a public venue? He’s dragging you to the nearest bathroom and fucking you within an inch of your life. But his favorite way to put you in your place is in his office.
- Will (dramatically) sweep everything off his desk and bend you over the cold mahogany wood, your ass exposed to him and gently brushing against his sizable erection.
- “Don’t think you can sweet talk your way out of this one.” Spanks you methodically just between the point of pain and pleasure. Makes you count each slap. Fingers your entrance mercilessly between spanks to rile you up but eventually allows you to cum.
- Once you’re all fucked out on his desk, he lifts you up and flips you over on your back. His member is hard as ever and leaking precum untouched. Proceeds to fuck you so profoundly, he nearly breaks his desk. Again.
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scaramouche-bully ¡ 4 years ago
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can i req fem!sub / if you want gender neutral is ok, about being brat on the bed? and (seperate) kaeya, diluc ,xiao &childe respond on it?
— ☆ Bratty Sub headcanons 
Includes: Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, and Childe
[ Sub ] Gender-neutral reader
Contains: Bratty sub, riding, dacryphilia, humiliation, rough sex, switching, coming untouched, dirty talk, degradation, choking, slut shaming, stomach bulge, masocism, minor blood, drooling + dumfication. 
— ☆ Wrecking headcanons - Childe 🐏 [ Female ]
[ masterlist ]
Apologies for the long delay. It’s been busy. 
I’ve updated my rules to limit requests to two or fewer characters as to not overwhelm myself. But since this request was before the change, I will write all four. For future requesters, please stick to two characters. 
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— ☆ Kaeya
As soon as you talk back to him, he gives you most amused but pitiful look you’ve ever seen. He takes a moment to chuckle under his breath before he’s hoisting you up onto his lap, leaning his cheek on his hand, and gestures for you to continue. 
You must think you’re so cute right now. Suddenly thinking that you’re in charge? Alright, if you want to be on top then go. He won’t do anything. Let’s see how long it’ll take for you to start whining. 
He loves the flustered look you get when he suddenly gives into your demands. The brave face you try and put on as you slowly ease onto his thick cock and the frustrated whimpers you try and hide. 
It’s only when you start apologizing that he disapprovingly sighs as he grips your hips, so hard that bruises will appear the next day, and slams you down on his cock. 
“Talking back to me when you can’t even fuck yourself on my cock properly. What am I going to do with you?” he grunts out as your walls tighten around him and you scrabble to hold onto him, “You’re going to take every drop of my cum until your hole is stuffed got it? Aren’t I kind? Go on, thank me.” 
“T-Thank..mm! Yo-You -ahh! More, ah! ” you stammer out as you claw at Kaeya’s back as he forcefully lifts you and drops you on his cock. The heavy drag of his dick against your sensitive spots is maddening that muddle your head. Every time Kaeya thrusts in you feel the breath get punched out of your lungs, the skin of your abdomen stretch and burn as you try and make room for his cock. You don’t realize that you’re crying out to him as you sob into his shoulder. 
“Look at you, does that hurt? Too bad. Maybe if you didn’t act like such  a brat I would be a lot nicer,” he laughs as he viciously grabs your hair and lifts your tear stained face up “Maybe I should take a picture so I can show everyone in Mondstadt what a slut you are?”
He drops your face harshly as he grips your wrists and pulls your hands behind you before he flips you both over so he’s on top of you. Your arms are at an awkward angle that strain them but when he suddenly starts pounding into you with the new leverage, whatever complaints you have are quickly replaced with moans. You mewl at the idea, your friends and family seeing how much of a wreck Kaeya can make you. It makes you burn in humiliation at the idea and you know that Kaeya would do it in a heartbeat. It’s that thought that has you cumming as Kaeya curses and buries himself as deep as he can go, painting your insides with his cum. While you’re catching your breath, Kaeya swipes at the cum that leaked out of your hole as he brings his cum stained fingers to your mouth.
“Open up,” he says, his voice sweet even as he pry’s your mouth open for you. You, naturally, bite his fingers but also lick him clean. It makes his star pupils dilate as he takes in the image before shoving his fingers into the back of your throat so you choke, “You’re so cute. It seems I have a lot to teach you about manners brat.”
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— ☆ Diluc
Diluc has to deal with too many problematic issues given to him by incompetent people. It’s weeks like these when his patience runs extremely thin, even when he tries to suppress his temper. 
Naturally, these are your favourite weeks to irk the man. To see just how much you can get away with and how far you can push his limits. From walking around with barely any clothes to flirting with the Knights that attend Angel Share.
Diluc is used to your...mannerisms. That is until Kaeya appears and he’s already glaring at you before you can make a move. Don’t you dare even try it unless you don’t want to walk the next day. 
It takes one touch on your waist from Kaeya for Diluc to snap. He’s closing the bar early and even the drunkards can tell Diluc is pissed. Kaeya blows you a kiss and a wave over the shoulder to Diluc as he locks the door behind him. 
Diluc manhandles you to the bar counter until you’re bent over with your wrists pinned behind your back. You can feel the anger radiate off Diluc as you peer over your shoulder at him. While he has a calm face, his eyes are feral as he adjusts his glove. That’s the only warning you get before he slips his hand to the front of your neck and squeezes with a vice grip. 
“D-Dil-” you cough out before you’re cut with a yelp by Diluc forcefully shoving your pants down as he shoves his fingers in, gloves still on, and stretch's your hole out. 
“Pathetic, you’re already this wet and I haven’t even done anything. Are you going to make a mess over my floors? You know what’ll happen if you do,” Diluc sneers as he arches your back and brings your face next to his, “Do you like being choked? Is that it? You filthy whore getting off on being used like this.”
“Hah..haha...Ka-Kaeya is nn-- oh is rough-er!” you manage to wheeze out as you stick your tongue out at Diluc. He still wears that same neutral expression but you can see something dark swirl in his eyes. He mumbles out, is that so? Before he slams you back down onto the counter top. You’re a bit dazed from the impact that you don’t hear the rustle of clothes, a belt unbuckling, before you’re being rammed into by Diluc’s cock. Your hands are scrabbling onto the countertop for some type of purchase as Diluc wastes no time and abuses your sensitive walls. 
“You’re. Mine.” Each word is punctuated by a deep thrust into you, “No one can fuck you like I can. Not those useless knights. Not Kaeya. Not anyone. Got it?”
You’re dumb on the pleasure of his cock rearranging your insides that you don’t respond that Diluc clicks his tongue, bends down, and sinks his teeth into your neck. An area he knows you can’t hide with your clothes and it’s too hot to be wearing a scarf without making it obvious to what’s happening now. The burst of pain is enough to send you over the edge and orgasm on his cock. Diluc curses under his breath at your walls tightening around him as he cum inside you as he catches his breath. 
“Answer me when I ask you a question.”
“Y-Yes sir...you’re the only one. Only you. Always you...” 
Your words manage to sooth him a little bit but it irks him that you’re drooling all over his countertop that he just cleaned. It’s fine, he thinks, he can make you lick it up later. 
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— ☆ Xiao
He's a puppy that wants to impress you, but everyone has a breaking point. The constant taunting of how, despite being a powerful adepti, he can’t even pleasure a mortal in bed sends something feral inside him ablaze. 
He doesn’t want to hurt you so he focuses his efforts into fucking you so good that you end up babbling praises instead. It makes him feel so warm inside when he sees your normally smug face turn dumb as you tell him he’s doing so well. 
It’s the only time you can ask Xiao to be more rough with you without him worrying about breaking you. It’s so cute to you that he tries so hard that you can’t help but tease him a bit. 
“Good boy Xiao. You’re doing so well,” you whisper against Xiao’s lips as you softy kiss him. You’re finally seated on his cock with his fingers are digging into your sides, strong enough to leave marks. It took a bit of coaxing from you to get Xiao to release the death grip he had on the sheets and to move his hands to your waist. If you didn’t see hand prints or bruises the next day, you were going to make this man cry. You slowly rock back and forth as you softly moan at the feeling of his cock inside you as you make small bounces. 
“Don’t you feel good?” you ask as you take one of his hands off your waist and lead his fingers to your hole where you’re both connected. Lacing your fingers together as you force him to jerk off the small length of his cock that appears every bonce you make, “Come on. Go faster. Show me what an adeptus can do.”
“A-Are you sure?” Xiao stammers out as he looks up at you worried. His grip on your body slackens considerably as you sigh before cupping his cheeks. 
“Xiao. Are you saying you can’t? Is it too much for someone of the adepti? What a let down you are, if you can’t do it then I’ll go find someone that cAN-!” you choke on your words as Xiao suddenly slams you on your back and drives his cock to the hilt. This time he’s taking your hand in his as he places your linked hands onto your stomach so you can feel his cock wrecking your insides through your stomach. 
“W-Wait! Xiao! Ah-!”
He pulls out harshly only to slam back in desperately as he rutts against you. His cock is practically gushing pre-come as he slowly loses his sense of rhythm. A deep feral part inside him relishes in the fact that it’s his cock that makes you like this. Pupils blown wide, head thrown back, tongue lolling out. As much as it makes your entire body tremble at the onslaught of pleasure, you can’t help but let a small delirious smile appear on your face. You reach out and cling onto him, digging your nails in so deep that he bleeds, and tell him to fuck you stupid. That he’s doing such a good job and to not stop. 
“I love you, I love you, I love you” he chants as he grinds his cock into you as he cums inside and fills you with his cum. The rush of warmth has you orgasming with him. Your linked hands still on your stomach where his cum paints your walls. 
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— ☆ Childe
He really likes switching half way during your fucking. As soon as you’ve had your fill being on top, he’s switching the roles. He might have been crying and begging you to let him cum a few seconds ago but now it’s his time to payback. 
Due to the abrupt switch, you’re still high on your ride and refuse to let his child take control. He loves how feral you both get in your attempts to dominate the other. 
When he finally manages to pin you down, the blood of the scratches and bite marks are still stinging but the pain get’s him rock hard. It’s like any other fight and the feeling of victory gives him a rush. 
He wastes no time in pounding into you, watching you scream as you curse him out as him laughing, leaning over to kiss you as he proceeds to rail you.  
He knows as soon as he kisses you, you’re biting his lips raw. The taste of blood makes him smirk against your own mouth and he feels your exasperated sigh at his kinks. It’s a small moment of respite as you both make out without trying to claw each other’s eyes out. When you finally separate for air, there’s a red line of saliva linking your mouths together that breaks when Childe sits up and wipes his mouth. 
“A bit eager are we?” he taunts as his fingers run over your skin, covered in his hand prints as marks, before settling on your hip. He doesn’t need to look to know his body isn’t any different. He better hope that he doesn’t need to change his shirt in front of the anyone or else they’ll suspect he went and fought a bear again. A cruel laugh escapes you as you reach up and drag him back down to your level as you whisper in his ear.
“It’s a pity fuck Tartaglia.” 
There’s a pause as Childe registers what you said before a switch flips off in his head. He lets out a low growl as he flips you onto your stomach and rams his cock into you. He relishes in the wail you let out as he grips your neck to pin your head onto the bed as he rails you into the mattress. You’re so tight around him that he has to forcefully drag his cock out just to thrust back in. He doesn’t understand how you can stay so tight even after all the rounds you both had previously. 
“You, ngh--ah! b...hah...bastard!” you gasp out and you claw at the sheets as his cock fucks you so well. He slams in so deep that has you spasming with each and every thrust. 
“Behave now,” he hisses out as he bites down on the back of neck as he muffles his moans as he cums inside you. Feeling him spill inside you sends a shudder of pleasure through your body that has your withering on his cock as you cum alongside him. When you’ve both caught your breath is when you elbow him in the stomach and knock him backwards so you’re back on top. He can tell you’re pissed and he’s never felt more excited. 
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